Sunset for Domestic Spying the Truly Mythical State of Jefferson
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The Truly Mythical Sunset For State of Jefferson Domestic Spying When I arrived in Southern Oregon years Anti-Terror Deputy Says National Security back, I learned of this concept of the “mythi- Letters Solve The “Chicken and Egg cal State of Jefferson,” an area of Northern Problem” of Deciding What To California and Southern Oregon that once Investigate Next played at seceding from the United States government. Nowadays, it’s an ad slogan that According to a November 6, 2005 article you hear on this local yuppie Clear Channel by Barton Gellman in the Sunday edition of station that gets passed off as college radio. the Washington Post, the FBI has been issu- Last time I heard a college kid on the station ing "National Security Letters" at a rate that was back in 1983, when they used to let the is a 10,000% increase (one hundred times as frat boys play Talking Heads and the Go- many) over past practices. These letters are a Go’s for four hours a week. Now it’s PC pap fearsome privacy invasion that Congress all day long and all night, too, though I do authorized in the middle of its 911 funk, love my Nature Notes and the sincere voice when the quickest way to be seen as a patriot of Colleen Pike turning sales pitches into was to trash civil liberties. All indented public service. So I have to listen, and some- quotes are from Gellman’s Washington Post times even contributed when gifted chatter- article, entitled The FBI's Secret Scrutiny — boxes like the late Joanie McGowan held the In Hunt for Terrorists, Bureau Examines station hostage for long enough. But I always Records of Ordinary Americans: wondered about this State of Jefferson busi- ness. The FBI now issues more than 30,000 national security letters a year, according to I occasionally go to the State Line Liquor Thanksgiving Edition government sources, a hundredfold increase store in the real state of California just south over historic norms. ... Issued by FBI field of the Siskiyou summit to get tax-free hooch. Inside: supervisors, national security letters do not The State Line is one of the last structures Socrates Now! No Politician Left Behind 3 need the imprimatur of a prosecutor, grand left over from the destruction of the town Vermont Secession Meeting 5 jury or judge. ... The Bush administration called Hilt, that was dismantled in 1974 by The Story of Che Guevara 8 defeated legislation and a lawsuit to require the Fruitgrowers company, when corporate Born In Tibet, Again 13 a public accounting, and has offered no management decided that, since fruit was no The Stadium Plot 14 example in which the use of a national secu- longer boxed in wooden crates, they didn’t Plus much more -- see page 2 rity letter helped disrupt a terrorist plot. continued on page 4 continued on page 6 www.ashlandfreepress.com About the Thanksgiving Edition of AFP’s man-about-town. Casey promptly sniffed out a story and filed a piece on Turned Up Missing, a local the Ashland Free Press band rumored to be hoping to generate escape velocity at We created the AFP Thanksgiving Edition to meet the their next release party. Josh Carreon contributed album demands of a long weekend, too much food, dessert reviews and editorial advice. My old friend the hermit, wines, and the consequent need for good reading material Michael Wear, donated two poems, like jewels of autum- and herbal teas. Imagining people reclining in Lazy Boy nal treasure, to adorn the whole. Jacob Hammond, AFP rockers in their relatives’ living rooms, trying to avoid Operations Manager, webmaster and graphic artist, watching the game in the den, we cast about for provoca- boiled down all these ingredients into thirty-two pages of tive topics to fight drowsiness. We are therefore much alternative printed material, and you are holding it in obliged to Cyrus Magee for his inquiry into the origins of East side, west side: AFP is all your hands. We thank our lucky stars that Jacob’s fantas- the State of Jefferson myth, and to Lo-Fi Nikita for his tic wife Kelly has tolerated Jacob’s overworking in the around the town! Visit page 30 exploration of FBI use of National Security Letters. name of free speech, and that my wife is similarly under- for a complete map of locations Moksha Mokma riles us with news about the secession standing. But why do we do it? Encouragement from our where the AFP can be found. movement in Vermont. In this month’s Socrates Now! readers keeps us going, and wonderful advertisers pro- column, No Politician Left Behind, Mitch Frangadakis vide the go-power! So from everyone at AFP, thank you Table of Contents proposes a curriculum for politicians that might help to for reading, contributing, and advertising, and have a abort more stupid education legislation. Breaking new Happy Thanksgiving! The Mythical State of Jefferson 1 ground by entering the fiction category, at Tara’s urging I Sunset For Domestic Spying 1 included The Stadium Plot, a political horror story I Very truly yours, SN! No Politician Left Behind 3 wrote after my dad died in February 2002. I chose to Charles Carreon, Editor Vermont Meeting on Secession 5 revise and publish it, since with the passing of years, the [email protected] The Story of Che Guevara 8 story’s premise had become less bizarre, as previously Born In Tibet, Again 13 inconceivable conspiracies became plausible, and incon- Ashland Free Press Staff The Stadium Plot 14 ceivable practices, like officially-sanctioned torture in Jacob Hammond, Operations Tara Carreon, Research [email protected] [email protected] Iggy Pop Concert Review 24 secret prisons, became routine. The story suddenly has become altogether too timely. The piece on Che is a ret- "Turned Up Missing" Review 26 Moksha Mokma, Campus Rep Casey Bourgeois rospective on the class warrior who became the icon of Two Autumnal Poems 26 [email protected] [email protected] revolt, and is more popular today than at any time in his French Minister of Culture Letter 27 life. Iggy Pop is also an important cultural figure, and my For the best black and white and Shelters for Freedom Worldwide 28 Advertisers: daughter Maria Luz de Luna’s wonderful piece on his color ad rates of any Ashland-circulated publi- AFP All Around Town, Map 29-30 birthday party concert last year is a nugget of pure joyful Album Reviews 31 energy. We recently retained Casey Bourgeoise, local cation, visit myafp.com or call 866-825-3834. AFP Donates Ad Revenues 31 vegan musician and inveterate scenester, to serve as Writers: Upload your work at myafp.com. Page 2 Ashland Free Press - November 17, 2005 www.ashlandfreepress.com Socrates Now! infested blankets and bottles of whiskey to the Indian tribes. If that proves too difficult, perhaps he could explain why the U.S. invaded "No Politician Left Behind" Canada in 1812. That’s it. Enough already. Unless the public discourse changes 3. Accounting: Those who control the purse-strings should know dramatically -- and soon -- my mind is made up. When it come to where the money comes from, where it goes, and how to account for public education our elected leaders are failing, and our current Presi- it to the public. For example, thousand-dollar screw-drivers will be dent is their Headmaster. summarily used upon those who sanctioned their purchase. The first task would be to locate the two billion dollars currently unaccounted Politicians insist that the solution to our educational woes is black for in the current Iraq war. (Hint: Hand calculators allowed, but aspir- and white: As for our teachers, rowdy and disconsolate lot that we ing politicians must leave their accountants at home.) are, what is needed is more compulsory training, more public scru- tiny, and most importantly, more evaluations. As for the students all 4. Logic: Testees will learn to distinguish between truth and fic- they need is more testing. And since we all now know what the true tion, factual statements and sales pitches, value systems and scientific problems are, we can rebuild the little red schoolhouse in a proper methodology, valid conclusions and “spin”. Proctors will wear a bull- fashion by extending the probationary period for teacher tenure to six shit meter during this section of the test. years. Without any training on their part politicians know all there is to know about better schools and being a better teacher. Once their After completing this four-part curriculum, political aspirants fixes are in place, if those teachers and students insist on failing us wishing to formulate educational policy will be required to serve as a once again, the church-based voucher system will be our saving teacher’s assistant one year. They will have to do more than read “My grace. Pet Goat” to a class of first-graders. Instead they will actually present a year’s worth of curriculum in reading, mathematics, science, music, I look at it this way: If your child had a life-threatening illness, art, P.E., history, and English grammar. (We’ll leave out sentence dia- who would you trust to diagnose their disease? Your doctor, or your gramming, just to play fair.) car mechanic? Which one has more direct experience and knowledge related to your child’s health? Seeking medical care from an auto To make the experience more reality-based, this edifying, educa- mechanic makes as much sense as listening to these politicians prattle tional experience will take place in a normal inner-city school.