bare facts

'SnightUne 32710 Advertising 509275 Friday 8th March 1991 PRETTY PICTURES...

are Facts have just received become home to more than 260 stu- cent Government policy to increase the very pretty artist impress- dents, with a possible expansion to 308. number of students benefitting from B Brickfields, as the new site is ru- highCT educaton. ions of the new résidences cur- moured to be called, is thought to be an Incidently, we are pleased to see lots rently being built on the latest attempt by the University to deal with of nice trees on the architect's plans and and biggest campus hole. problems of student accomodation (or fmally have been assured the construc- Construction on the new site, (next rather lack of it) which has plagued tion ^ould be quiet. We have yet to to Stag Hill and University Court,) many Universities and Polytechnics find out! which began last mcHith is expected to throughout the country. Further, the JohnGarslde last until this October, when it will move is being seen as a response to re- • . X-

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Exclusive interviews with non-other than our newly elected Pres. and Arts & Ents Secretary Student news, Green news. Headlines and brief news! Opinions on 'apathy' and women in Ireland Your chance to win two absolutely free cinema tickets! And there's even a special Manoj sports events special for all devotees to cut-out and treasure over the Easter holsll Published By The University Of Surrey Students' Union Friday March 8th 1991 bare facts

ter bringing soemthing out in the open bar. Having spoken with the bar man- Readers'Writes they are accused of being pathetic! Is agement and 5 members of club com- this how to encourage peq)Ie? Would mittee, it appears that they have not you rather nothing was ever discussed been approached by anybody with re- in BF without the Union Officiais' gards to the quality of drinks soved. In- sanction? stead, through allégations made in BF, So, Cardy Box, writing such a well- bad feeling has been created towards intentioned but misguided piece is not the bar and rifts have occured between part of the solution. If s part of the prob- bar staff over the issue. It is obvious that lem! the authors of those letters had not at- Yours in apathy tempted to ascertain the full facts and H Gennaro had not talked to anybody who could in- vestigate the "problem" and rectify it. To my mind this is not constructive and The opinions expressed on does nothing to address any problem Appropriate that exists. This son of behaviour is these pages do not exactly what I was refering to when I necessarily reflect those of Channels accused people of "having a whinge the Editorial Board. T^ear Mr Gennaro, and bitch about things... instead of Whilst glad to have a response to going through the prc^r channels". my article last week ("Apathy Soc. With regards to my article last Please keep letters brief Takes Over Union), I feel I must re- week; yes it was written in a very sar- and to the point. spcxid to some of the points raised in castic vein. As a Union officiai fc^* the your letter. past two terms, I have strived to over- With regard to "apiH-opriate chan- come apathy in the UnicHi (as do ail nels": Union officiais) as well as executing Whinging Again?!? 1. The GM. l^earEd my duties as chairpers(Hi. At the time Granted, not everyone is a good of writing the article I felt that I had ex- I Write with référencé to Cardy public speaker. There exist, however, Box's article in last week's BF, about hausted ail other methods of combating potentially 24 union officiais ail of apathy. I stand by everytìiing written. apathy in the Union. While I agree with whom have been elected by the students some points, I must take exception to at one stage w another. These people You daim that the fact of people others. are there to serve you and ail are very stili talking about the beer problem He accuses people of having a approachable. So if you feel you cannot shows the effectivenessofBF. In parti 'whinge and bitch about things in the personally take a point to the GM, see agree. It has proved it to be a useful me- letters page of BF (lil^e the bar beering the relevant union officiai and they can dium forproviding the masses with in- down the water)' and of not going do it for you. formation. It CMily woiks though if the information is ccxrect. As it stands, the through tìie 'a^iropriatechannels'. "The Union clique". 24 Union Of- There are, naturally, reasons for masses have been misinformed and the ficiais, 140 members of staff and ap- people concemed and the "problem" this: proximately 4000 members. 1. Taking something to GM. Some brought to light in an inappropriate According to "Collins Concise Diction- manner. of us are not good public speakers and, ary" and these figures (which I invite to those of us outside the Union clique, you to check) "The Union clique" does I find it very sad that both Mr Gen- the Union GM can be a very intimida- not exist. naro and Mr Melane feel that they must ting body. try and change things in this mis-in- I am very sorry to hear that 115 2. Going to Club Committee. This formed and mis-guided way people sitting in the Union lounge D. Vincent < is even more intimidating. eating their lunch on a Tuesday intimid- So what else is left? Surely writing âtes you. (a.k.a. Cardy Box) to BF is activity, not apathy as Cardy 2. Club Committee Box daims (cla^ns by, amazingly, hav- This is a body made up of the Prési- ing a whinge and bitch about things in dent, two permanent members of Bankers! the pages of BF - the very thing he says staff and six ordinary students (includ- F\ear Editor, is a 'pathetic way of carrying on'). After ing two GM représentatives) These How come first years get a free ail, the fact that people are stili talking committee members are ordinary mor- overdraft upto £300 and second, third about the beer problem shows BF to be tals, the same as you or I. They are ail and fourth years have to pay 14.5% in- effective. How many students would very approachable if not at committee terest. have been reached by raising a question meetings, then individually. I am cer- Especially when the Midland in at GM or Club Committee? tain that they would be only too happy town offer a firee overdraft to ail stu- Bare Facts is there to provide infor- to raise issues on your beh^. dents - lasdng until the December after mation, and to cover subjects of import- I agree that writing to Bare Facts is they finish their final year, thus allow- ance to ail of us. As Cardy Box so not inactivity and can be a very con- ing them some time to pay it off! rightly says, Democracy is a pretty neat structive medium for airing chinions, Guess who's got my account now. idea; but it only works WHEN complaints and suggestions. However, Just imagine if everyone defected to EVERYONE HAS ALL THE INFOR- in recent times, the letters page has been Midland - the manager might change MATION. And that, surely is BF's used by certain individuals to make al- his mind then. function, not to be a mouthpiece for the légations that have no basis in fact and Commisérations to Nat West, Union officiais, but to supply as much have caused bad feeling. The most re- R. Wortov information as possible to enable us to cent example of this has been the "prob- make knowledgeable décisions. lem" with Courage beers behind the Yet, when someone does write a let- bare facts Friday March 8th 1991 Exclusive Interview With: AlistairHiU After defeating Steve Herman by a sabbaticals and union officials should large majority in the cross campus bal- be neutral, and union policy should re- lot, Alistair Hill will become the next flect the views of the student body, Students Union President from August which is more easily done in an apoliti- In an interview with him after the result cal environment. I asked him why he decided to run for As to NUS, he believes it to be a president He replied that he had en- powerful vocal force within the joyed being a student at Surrey and country, even ccaisulted by the govern- th^fcH-e wanted to put something back ment on relevant issues. However, be- into the student body. He also felt that cause it covers the whole of the country the job would be of great benefit to him, it loses the grass roots level. As a result particularly in the sphere of communi- Alistair would like to see a regional cation, but he said that the greatest mo- level. tivation would be seeing other students Alistair said that he thought that growing. top-up fees are unfair and could make One of the first problems which he higher educat(Mi elitist Professor Kelly cited was the lack of long-term plan- is one of the few vice- chancellors to ning within the union. Instead there support the proposal. As a result he felt were "short term answers to long term that the student body should show its problems. An example of this is the disapproval through its representatives need for Union House to expand. at Senate. If this failed to work then the When asked about the problem of hous- possibility of escalating the protest ing, he replied that more housing was should be discussed, but any industrial needed on Campus but there is very acticH) should be considered very seri- little space in wMch to build. The lack ously, fcH- it has a far greater influence of availability of off-site housing also when it is used as a final oçtûon. concerned Alistair who suggested two Alistair continued by saying that that union officials were answerable to ways of increasing the amount of leas- better communicaticHi and links should the GM. However he agreed that all able accommodation, firstly through be developed with the local community unions only represent those who are negotiations between NUS and various through cultural and sporting links. He sufHciently motivated to be there. As a housing associations and local coun- also said that businesses in the sur- result more grass root students are cils, and secondly through Senate and rounding area don ' t realise the potential needed for a more representative union. Guildford Borough Council to encour- from students. As to relations with Alistair went cm to suggest thatFreshers age more local residents to become part Senate Alistair said that they were very Week would be an opportunity to make of the Direct Leasing programme. good at the moment and concluded by people more aware of the union and en- saying that he believed that the benefits Alistair went on to say that the GM courage active paiticipatiai. As for wU be seen in the next few yeare. is the forum for students to speak and politics in the union, Aiistair felt that raise opinicHis. He was also pleased David Gent Giles Porter Last Friday, Giles Porter was voted BP. It will also include a in as the Arts & Ents Secretary for next wider variety of events from year. When I spoke to him just after the various societies. To help in result had been announced, he said that this he hopes to form a pub- he was naturally "very happy" with the licity network. Giles also result, but commented that Lisa was hopes to improve Cabaret also a very good candidate. next year by taking particular When asked about his plans for next care to choose the right venue year his fu"st comment was that he for the right event wanted to change the Sunday Bands He concluded by saying which he said he was unhappy with. He that he wanted more variety went on to say that he felt that advertis- to the Ents programme, and ing could be made a lot more effective, invited us to complain if we for at the moment time and resources were unhappy with the pro- were being wasted as different societies gramme. each advertised there own events in- David Gent stead of working together. Giles there- fore wants to introduce a weekly or fortnightly Ents Planner which will be placed on kitehen noticeboards and in Friday March 8th 1991 bare facts Opinions Apathy - What Apathy? So how do we join this Îmamoumfamous amounts to take lonIonge free lunchlunchë^^ this is what democracdei y is all about - or apathy soc - for the largest society on Sounds like your type ofjo b - no, you're is it? campus they're awfully quiet aren't right - might be too much wc»'k. Its going to be great next year, what they! 3. Getting involved - involved in with trying to run a union without a vice Weil kiddies believe it or not you're what? President, treasurer, internai or extemal already members - w so it seems. The 4. Advantages - you mean there are affairs officerete... Did you really have only things you have to know about some? a choice of who was going to be your apathy soc are the rules! Get the picture? President or sports officer? 'Who cares, Sound familiar? they'll probably do a good job', 'weil Mœtings I would be very surprised if none of they're better than nothing' - classic We never have any because they the above applied to you in some way ap^hetic responses I think. The point is can'tbebothered. because it seems that apathy is becom- not hard to grasp is it? ing the ruling wOTd amongst the democ- 1.This is your union. Fund Raising racy of your union. 2. Your union is run on a day-to-day What's the point? DEMOCRACY: a politicai or so- basis by people whom you have the Other People cial unit govemed ultimately by its right to elect. Who cares? members. 3. You have a say in what goes on Believe it or not your union is run as in your union via the GM - it is not in- Ents a democracy - your sabbaticals were timidating - if you have a valid griev- They're never any good so we elected last year by you, for yçm. A ance or point to raise then raise it, you won't go démocratie élection - one member - one may help other people by your actions. vote (weil almost - in fact only 25 per 4. Without you the union will col- The Union cent of the electorate voted, apathy soc lapse, in fact it has already started • if 1. GMs - useless, they're never qu- was existant even then, engulflng 3/4 of you want to stop the process there is orate for more than 10 minutes so noth- the Student population). Voting this only one course of action open to you: ing ever gets done. Don't bother going year took an even more amazing tum, shed your apathetic guise and if you can help it with the apathetic disease keeping GET INVOLVED! 2. Sabbaticals - paid extortionate about 80 per cent of you at home. So Sare Parsons Nominations for the Women in post of Ireland A recent édition of NUS action (21 Febniary), reported a picket organised by LSE, of around 50 stud^ts outside the Irish embassy on January 23rd was rqx)rted, the protestare Vice President were demonstrating against Ireland's repressive abortion laws. Irish Student Unions are currently involved in legal action with the Society for the Protection of the Unbom child (SPUC), conceming information distributed about abcntion. Meanwhile, The Guardian (27 February) suggetsed in an Are now open interview with the new Irish président, Mary Robinson, that 'identifiaction' with many liberal causes and womens issues Closing date for acœptance of gained her victory. In a country where men are in charge of major issues which nominations will be S.OOpm affect women's lives, Mary Robinson represents an oppotunity for Irish women to push their concems to the fwefront of life Thursday 25th April 1991 in Eire and hopefully to achieve success. Contraception can now be obtained at any chemist or on prescription however, abortion is still illegal and unconstìtu- Hußtings will be held on ticmal and divorce is also illegal although various methods can be used to end Irish marriages. Tuesday 30th April at T.OOpm It wcHild also açfçcar that the Irish leader wants to give young people the opportunity to make an informed décision Voting will be ail day on for themselves, on how best they can reconcile their own faith with the pressures of contemporary life. Wednesday Ist May 1991 Nie Jeeves bare facts Friday March 8th 1991 News in Brief Student is by far the smallest asteroid ever de- Earth Survives A tected, it is estimated to be only 5-10 News Near Miss!! metres across. Earth escaped acoUision withanas- The Staight Tower teroid by a whisker last month. Amoi- can astromonists at the Havard - ofPisa Loans Smithsonian Center for Asn^hysics in The Leanimg Tower of Pisa has fi- Surprise, surprise! It has been ad- Cambridge, Massachusettes say that on nally gone too far. It drooped another mitted that those nasty horrible loans, the 18th of January the object (spotted 1.18 millimeters last year, increasing that no-one wanted in the first place, are in the constellation of C^cer), came worries that it could finally fall over. No more hassle than they're worth. The within less than half the distance be- tourists have climbed it for two years, Student Loans Company has released tween the earth and the moon and the Italian Government has allo- figures showing that the loans are cost- (170,000km), which is regarded as a cated £22 million to save the tower. The ing twice as much to run as it was first dose shave in astronomica! circles. The latest plans are to cut it off at its base predicted - the average loan, worth next closest encounter was in March with a diamond saw, then straighten it £377.99, costs the taxpayer £219 to set 1989 when an asteroid passed with more than 100 computer-control- Up and administer. A Labour spokes- 690,0(X)km from the earth. led hydraulic winches (but not too man said that these costs were "out- The asteroid, called 1991BA, is a so straight, say the Italians!). It may stili rageous" and "commercially calied "Apollo Object" which means lean, but after ali that technology has unacceptable". that it crosses the orbit of earth. Almost been at it, who will want to visit it? 100 such asteroids are known, however Athena 0. asteroid 1991BAsetasecond record; It Joint funding The division between Universities Green News and Polytechnics couid soon be a thing of the past, following the University An extinct fish has been found in a Tests had so far failed to identify the Funding Council's acceptance of a pro- foul, smelly, scum-covered cattle pool pollutants in the water. Black rain posed merger with the Polytechnics and in New Mexico, USA. The 10.5cm long caused by buming oil had not been seen Colleges Funding Council. Up until Opal AUotocas were brought out of the outside the Gulf before this week. now, the two sectors have been funded pond by icthyologist (studies fish) Mi- Green OU? separately, but the new proposals chael Smith, who discovered the If news fix)m the Gulf made you would create a common funding system species 20 years ago. Since then no one think there is nothing enviromentally for the whole of higher education, has found the fish in the world. The fish, sound about oil, think again. ESSO is which would end the controversial in- whose sides flash like opal as they now selling the stuff in 5 litre jugs made equalities in funding. It is thought that move, are to be used to set up a breed- of virtually recycled plastic, well a this will bring the two closer together ing population. quarter of ¿re jugs anyway. Tlie inner and reduce the differences between layer, in contact with the oil, must be them. Oil Claims Seals Seven rare seal pups died in Souht made of new plastic. So must the outer West Australia after hundreds of tonnes layer, so that it can be dyed an attractive of oil escaped fi"om a Korean tanker colour - Green perhaps!?! NUS electìons which ran aground 2 weeks ago. A One casualty of the recent späte of watch is continuing for signs of con- Cambridge Green? bomb scares was the National Organi- tamination from the ships cargo of fer- Cambridge studCTts recently com- sation of Labour Students' nomination tilizer which was also spilled. pleted a week of enviromental action, forms fw NUS elections. The forms in a drive to tum the University green. missed the deadline fw entrìes when Victors A network of some 150 students is urg- they were delayed by a bomb scare at Greenpeace claimed on Thursday ing colleges and departments within Kings Cross - the Greens' fOTms were that no one had won the Gulf War. The Cambridge to start recycling schemes, also affected. The NUS Elections Com- environment group said the ecological reduce energy consumption, and to tum mittee are to consider whether to accept effects of action by both sides was not university land into a haven for wildlife. the nominatìons due to the exceptional clear and suggested Allied bombs may Patrick Bateson, provost of King's col- circumstances. If they don't, then have caused chemical and nuclear con- lege is" delighted and wholeheartedly NOLS could lose their domination on taminatìon. If referred to anti-Iraqi ter- behind the initiative". The college is the National Executive - those affected rorist warfare and went on to demand commissioning a formai "environmen- include the present NUS President 'the countries that wanted and carried tal audit" says Bateson and suspects en- Stephen Twigg. The elections, to be out the war should take responsibility ergy conservation in particular is likely held at Easter Conference, could end up for the damage caused*. to need attention. as a battle between the Liberals and the At the weekend, students bedecked extreme Left - altematively they could Black Rain King's college with a banner proclaim- result in a massive victory for RON Black rain feil this week for more ing "No Time To Waste - Support En- (Re- Open Nominations). than 10 hours non-stop in Turkey, vironmental Action Week". Any Jen alarming residents who feared it was chance of this happening here at Sur- the result of buming oil wells in the rey? Gulf. But experts in the South Eastem Smiles & Athena C. city of Hatay said the rain may also have been caused by everyday air pollution. Friday March 8th 1991 bare facts Headiines FRIDAY Ist MARCH WEDNESDAY 6th

77?gGuàrdian neOusardian ALLIES PUSH TO GUST SADDAM Relief mingled with jubiliation swept the victorious Gulf PHONE 'FREE FOR ALL* MAY CUT BILLS war allies yesterday as attention shifted swiftly to the desire to forge a new order in the Middle East Brìtain's 25 million telephone subscribers look set to benefit from cheaper calls aft^ the Department of Trade and Industry yesterday threw the country's networic open to free WEEKEND market competition. EÜROPEAN THURSDAY 7th Teletext BUSH HAUNTED BY THE SURVIVAL OF SAD- DAM 'HUNDREDS DEAD' IN BATTLE FOR BASRA Despite the crushingAUied victory over Iraqi forces in Ku- wait, President Bush fears that Sadd^ Hussein may survive Hundreds have been killed in 5 days of fighting between to rebuild his regime. White House aides said that although forces loyal to President Saddam Hussein and rebels, accord- early signs were that the Gulf ceasefire was holding with the ing to refugees. Allies Controlling a large swathe of southern Iraq, there was every indication that the Iraqi leader was trying to rally the BIRMINGHAM SIX SCIENTIST RETRACTS EAR- remnants of his army to buttress his hold on power. LIER EVIDENCE MONDAY 4th A scientist has retracted ho^ eailier view that traces found on the hand of one of the Birmingham six were almost cer- Exisess». tainly caised by explosives. Former Government Scientist, Dr. Janet Drayton told the Old Bailey appeal that recent woik by H. O. officials had SADDAM'S COMMANDERS ACCEPT ALLIED forced her to modify her conclusions. CONDinONS FOR PERMANENT CEASEFIRE Iraqi military Commanders yesterday agreed to meet ali the allied conditions fa* a permamnent ceasefire in the Gulf war. Last night Baghdad said it also accepted the latest UN Securìty Council resolution setting tmns for ap^manent peace, includ- Come on an Ifiltmit -iml ing a release of ali prisoners of war and detained Kuwaitis. ^fudaiii ¡•loUdAy ¿n U/et/n TUESDAY 5th

FREE! THE HERO POW H©ro RAF pilot John Peters, who held out against Sad- dam's torturers, was freed yesterday. He was among the first ten PoWs released in Baghdad after six weeks in c^tivity.

. . Àf> pr- a halìda^ ¿n -ro^il nktléì frwwn fridn^ UU & Early Deadline ^Mt^Y a Aprii lUl • ^ piti-*' t»t'h M'Xt «t jUiO dt{itr>d pn UXoBtU ihit rtXtrtnj ^weuf fi*m Mftuf ^tteii'*t AB ^Armnttéci BF next week pian to have a much CoU itUd^SO lÀld J>J4äl*> aJi latuXÀ- CPiie , AUinumJcULn , hftaipui UT. shorter Red Nose special edition. Utrw^ mteU» Therefore, the deadline is to be closed I ulouid liit mon. ¿nforéulxxi. abaut OWMI^ at the latest at Monday 4pm. Infact, the àhuUri»,' tcaUi' ia/ùiat^ eariier anything is sent in and the dafter Mime btpatiinul the better! fldc/rcas lo Ótr!itìan unun fk^n ^¿ ¿U Uri^I^ *»» (laar tuoii rcLum^^ bare facts Friday March 8th 1991 Union News Servery T More Campuses premier eating venue, Club Chairperson, Nie Crotch, said, the Servery, is to receive a major face- "I hope that the improved facilities lift this Easter, following the generous which this development will bring will Women's grant given by the university ' s Planning be reflected afterwards in better quality and Resources Committee. food, a greater range of choice and more The ServCTy is likely lo be closed efficient service. It's taken a long time Toilets from the 15th of March round to the and a great deal of effc^ to see things Work will start this Easter holiday 15th of Aprii for the extensive refitting through to this stage, I hqpe we don't on adding extra cubicles to the main fe- to take place. This will consist of re- waste the oppwtunities which we now male toilets in Union House. aligning the serving counter around by have of greaUy improving things." The expansion in seating cz^acity, 90 degrees to gi ve greater food prepara- Alternative catering arrangements which will be carried out by Works De- ti(xi and Storage facilities behind and will be organised in Union House, prob- partment, will add an additicKial two the re-siting of existing equipment in ably from the Lower bar while the work cubicles to the present four, repre- more hygienic conditiCHis to meet the is taking place. senting a 50% increase in facilities. tough new food laws. Karen Williams, Union Vice-President, said "We women have been desperate for too long. This will come as a great Club AGM relief to many of us!" Next week sees the Annual General new committee to represent students on While the woric is being carried out Meeting of Union Club, the organisa- the decision making body of the Club. both toilets in the rear stairwell will be ti(xi which runs all the bars and cater- There will also be the opportunity to ask turned over to women and it is hoped ing. The meeting, which takes place just questions of the Club officers about its that this will not cause too greater an in- before the last union meeting of the activities in the past year. Nomination convenience. term, has two major items in its agenda. forms for membership of Club Com- Firstly is the acceptance of last mittee are available from the Union years trading accounts, which give a General Office. financial picture of Club's activities last Nic Crotch Conference year. Secondly will be the election of a Documents I am now in possession of most of Budgets the documentation relating to this Well week 8 has been and gone, and relevant? & T tests with the correct de- year's NUS Spring Conference. Most since I'm such a nice po^n (especially grees of freedom) that I will not know important are the manifestos of the can- at Draw Disco's as anyone on B/W 3 who submitted iL didates standing ict the National Ex- will tell you) I am extending the dead- To make sure that all clubs who ecutive Committee and also the list of line for budget submissions to the end want to cerate next year do so, would submitted motions. Anyone who would of this tenu. the Chair's of the relevant Standing like to look at these can call in my of- Also, contrary to pq)ular belief I am Committees make sure that all the clubs fice sometime between now and next not telepathic and do not not have ESP, und^ their control do submit a budget. Wednesday. and so, if you forget to write the name Remember: NO BUDGET means NIC of your club/soc on your budget there is NO MONEY for the next year. a 95% confidence interval (using the Steve Jukebox On Wednesday the long awaited Wfld Thing CD jukebox finally arrived with three new speakers. After much fiddling it So, what will you be doing when sports, aerobics on the beach, Greek was declared to be ready and woiiung. your exams are over this summer? dancing lessons, island hopping, enor- Sadly, along with the improvement in Drinking and partying, no doubt! Well, mous open air discos, barbeques with music, we "lost that loving feeling" and this year you could join 1,500 other stu- barrels of free wine, a trip to At- gained the "Bad Boys" - Andy and dents doing this and more (!) in Greece. hens....you name it, it's going to hap- George - candidates for the reject bin A two week non-stop student party, pen!" along with Kylie. First reports say that called the "Wild Thing" is being held on Others have questioned its feasi- at least two CDs are in the wrong place: the Greek island of Pwos.to celebrate bility, but if your interested, start saving "We are paying for Dire Straits and lis- the end of the exams. The idea comes your pennies now, and contact Wild tening to Peter Gabriel". If nothing else, from similar events that take place in Thing, The Lodge, Manor Court, the flip button is loads of fun, but it will North America every year, the organi- Aylmer Road, London, N2 OPJ. for fur- take us a while to learn the jukebox sers claim: ther details. Jen numbers now. "There'll be beach parties, toga par- Mel ties, pub crawls, live bands, water- Friday March 8th 1991 bare facts RED NOSE RUN! bare facts Yet another plug! Editor - John Garside OK, this is it! The very last time (well for two years at least) News Editor - David Gent we're going to plug the Perimeter Red Nose Fun Run. Sports Editor - Manoj Patel Well... news has just reached us here in the BF office that Arts Editor - Andy Wilcock after extensive research, the perimeter fun run will be LESS Reporters - Jen HoUand, Athena Constantino, Melissa Devine, Nic Jeeves Hie á. ^poi^t (oh^ O Advertising and Finance • Simon Bany, Sare Parsons Film Reviews • Phil Pete o Music Reviews - Stuart Husband Production - Neil Bailey, Morgan Armer, Alistair Robertson Typist - Rachel Davidson Technician - Sean Purdy Cartoonist - P. Newbon Printer - Mike Ramm

C(Hitrìbuters - Nic, Raj, Cardy, Andy Owen, Dave Fa- raday, Helen Baker, Andy C, Adam B, Marc F, Carsten Stoehr, Chris James, David & I^ul, Jellyhead(?), Nicola Souter, Law- rence Winch, Deirdre Hynes, The DOC, Jono, The Turkey.

The views in Bare Facts do not necessarily reflect those of the Editor, the Editorial board or the University Union. Bare than two miles - just about as far as it seems to walk to the Union Fact's reserves the right to edit ali contributions. from Guildford Court and back! Other amazing facts you'll be yearning to know - Union of- Telephone: 0483 - 509275 ficials will be donning their sports gear to sprint around - Ha! Fax: 0483 - 34749 and if that wasn't enough Nic will also be there presenting the medals and orange squash - how much can one person do?!? Meanwhile, the event may be televised, so all posers take Entry Form note - book you're reservations at the university hair salon NOW (and for mentioning itcan I havea free haircut - please!). Comic Relief Fun Run Campiis Erm... The run shall commence from the Sports Hall (surprise, sur- Adventure prise) at 2.15pm on Wednesday and shall end when everyone finishes, which I guess can't be too late since it doesn't take too long to walk two miles! Entry made by That's it! Fwms have to be in by midday on Tuesday 12th March. Red noses available from the Spots Hall and the bookshop. Raise loads and loads and have a laugh! Address Smiles!

OK. yet again, off we go pleading for new Entry for (tìck) people to join us. This week we need typists i) Individuai like mega-urgent to join after Easter and we ii) Team need a new Arts Editor since both are defecting to foreign countries! Thanks to all those who have got in touch but Name of Department don't forget we still need you to leave your Name of team name and a contact number in the BF office if you intend to get involved after Easter. Signed And we still need more people, especially reporters with ideas. Enclose £1:00 per runner for Comic Relief Entries to be received by 12th March 1:00pm at the Sports Hall

8 PERROTTS^^^ BAR NEWS (RESTAURANT M leíate éfaPPe^m^ Special offer MEAL FOR 2 Murphy's • • ' Il I ^ ONLY £5-90 1/4 Ib. Perrott's Burger with any 1 of our Toppings. Z^londa^ & served in a bun with potatoes & a garnish. Irish Stout GREASE Film Come on over & give us a tiy ! OPEN 11-OOam to 11-OOpm Mon. - Thür. inc. 20p off and 11-OOam to 1l-30pm Fri. & Sat. 8 & 9 Jeffries Passage, 60's Disco Guildford. Surrey Teiephone Guildford 35025

Lower^aj: £1.50 Sorry NO Discount given on Special Offer. ommencing Monday 11th March But the offer is open until 28th. Feb.91.inc. Please bring the advert with you.

e Promotional Stocks Las (P/ease note that Student Discount is Not given on Fridays ^ Saturdays.)

SURRE/ UNIVERSI!/ O IMPORTANT m RUN ON IS" MARCH Q NOTICE! Lid START

AIWAL GENERAL NEEUNG Satot^-da^ AND GENERAL MEETING DRAG 1PM TUESDAY 12TH MARCH

RE-ELECTION OF CLUB COMMIHEE DISCO THE BARS ACCOUNTS RATIFICATION OF THE ELECTIONS ELECTION OF NEW SPORTS OFFICER ALL THE REST OF THIS TERM'S BUSINESS STARTS AT THE SPORTS HALL Union Lounge Union Loiinge ENTRY FORMS 11 (aväiiable at spokrhald BRING A FRIEND WEM SOMETHINq RED-AN/ntlNÖ yoU LIKE 'I'l'i'i'i'i'i'i'i'i'i'i'i'i'i'i'i'i'i'i'i'i'i'i'iW THIS IS IMPORTANT FOR INFORMATION TELEPHONE SOÌZOI Friday March 8th 1991 bare facts bare facts Friday March 8th 1991 ARTSROUND Careers We are now entering the second week Wednesday The employment figures for our 1990 graduates are now naire when it is sent to you. of the Guildford *91 InternatioDal At 1.15 inPATS Studio One, the tenor available and they show that the downturn in employment is These figures are quite encouraging in the present employ- Music Festival. Full details of the events Mervyn Collins, accompanied by Erik beginning to take its toll. They are shown below as a percent- ment climate, but there is cause for concern in view of the dete- can be found in the free official pro- Levi, will sing Beethoven's An dieferne age of known destinations and relate to the employment or ñir- riorating employment situation. To secure that preferred job gramme. Geliebte and Schumann's lÀederkreis. ther study position for 1990 graduates at 31st December 1990 or that place for further study requires dedication and persist- Saturday (£3) (the correspcmding 1989 figures are given in brackets). ence. Without these you may be disaj^inted, even if you are At 12.30 in PATS Studio One, An- At 8pm in PATS Studio One, the Entering permanent employment 62.5 (69.1) studying a 'shcMtage' subject. drew Haveron, Elizabeth Neville, Gareth University of Surrey Chamber Orchestra, " temporary employment 4.6 (2.4) The reaction ftom visiting employers to this year's Surrey Davies and Cathy Beynon with the Guild- under the batCHi of the illustrious Sara Not available fw employment 5.4 (5.2) applicants has again been very good. As in previous years, ford Symphony Orchestra perform Manning (/ can be smarmy too! -AKW), your performance at interviews has been praised. Keep up the Chaminade, Faure, Hasselmans, Saint- will perfwm Copland's Quiet City, Wal- Further study: good wOTk. Saens and Mozart. (£2) ton's incidental music to Henry V, the Higher degree 11.0 (8.2) The Nigel Kennedy/Sebastian Forbes World PremiCTe of Thomas Powell's^av extravaganza in the Civic Hall at 8pm is Work for Strings Piano Teacher Training 1.4 (0.9) Vacation Work sold out. Concerto No.l. The pianist is Adrian Other specialised training 3.7 (3.7) We have already received details of a wide variety of va- Grey. (£2) Overseas graduate returned home 7.8 (8.9) caticMi woric ranging from being a milkman to working in a Sunday technical ccxisultancy. If you want to earn some money come At Guildford Cathedi^: Sung Euchar- Thursday in and see what is on offer and remember - the best jobs go ist at 9.4Sam, Matins at 11.1 Sam and Cho- At 8pm in PATS Studio One, there wil Unemployed 3.6 (1.6) The percentage of unknown first destinations was 3.2 first! ral Evensong at 6.30pm. there will be a be a celebrity chamber evening featuring Peter Swift special Festival service at 3pm at St the Chilìngirian Quartet with the cellist (from 6.6% last year). We are dependent on you for this in- Joseph's R.C. Church. Steven Isserlis and the music of Mozart, formation, so please return your 'first destination' question- Careers Service At 8pm at Charterhouse School, Eve- Beethoven and SchuberL (£4) lyn Glennie (percussion) with Philip Friday At 1.15 in the Royal Smith (piano) shows the musical versat- Grammar School, the lity of percussion instruments. (£S) Enteiprise University of Surrey Wind So what's this all about thenfA new student society worth Tuesday investigating, that's what! Enterprise is a student/staff society At 12.30 in the Guildhall, the London Ensemble present Mozart's Serenade in Eb, K375. (staff (TOviding administrative support). Smetana Trio perform Janacek, Ravel and Enterprise seeks to develop courses alongside innovation Satie. (£3) Admission free. Personal Microcomputers in teaching and assessment methods eg industrial year place- Quality IBM-compatble Personal Computers for serkHJs appllcallons, frorr At6.30 in PATS Studio One, there will At 8pm in the Civic Hall, there will be ment, seminars etc, and in so doing help students develop per- word^ocessir>g to software development. Runs all popular software, be a Celebrity Charity Concert. Pianist a diverse ent^lainment for Guildford Ca- sonal skills for use in the 'woiidng world'. En^prise teams Windows 3.0. WordPerted, dBaselll, Lotus123, §PSSPC+. AutoCAD, Nelly Akopian, with members of the Mos- thedral Choir and London Brass featuring currently exist in many colleges in the UK. F0RTRAN77, PASCAL. 0. etc. cow Virtuosi, will perform Brahms's Two music from the Renaissance to the present The ideas discuss^ and to be pursued as future activities AVAIUBLE IN ANY String Quartets, OpSl and Piano Quintet day.(£5^/£3). were:- CONFIGURATION in F minor, Op34. (£4 - proceeds to Fliyllis Andy Wilcock (Arts Editor) 1. Establishment of a student Enterprise committee; from 8088 to 80486 Tuckwell Memorial Hospital and Cherry 2. Sarah LeBoute to represent south-east Sbident Enter- Trees Project) prise network as student liaison; SPECIAL PRICES 3. Contact with Careers S^ice to explore potential of ex- FOR STUDENTS!!! f rr student visiting programme to provide information to students 'Live about real work situations of recent graduates; strength of the songs and melodies which 4. Freshers week 'Treasure Hunt' COTipetition to encour- Uni, of Surrey SU, made it mémorable. age fieshers and other students to learn more about operation PC8088 4.77/10 MHZ 640KB RAM singte drive and mono monitor; £299 * VAT of the university. The strong swirling bass-line was very AT 8028612MH21 MB RAM 2 high density drives and mono monitor; £445 4 VAT 3rd March. influential but did not inspire the bassist to Any student is welcome to attend these meetings and give Sunday saw the second band this term pull any semblance of a smile, exempli- their input That's all this week. AT 80286 12 MHz 1 MB of RAM, One floppy drive and 40MB (28ms} promoted by Chrysalis play here, suppor- fying the général mood. The performance HardDisk serial, parallel and game pods, complete with monitor: ting their recently rele^ed single 'Bums was musically tight except for occasional My Skin' (banned by Radio 1 due to the lapses in sound quality which was unfor- Mono Hercules System 720x348 Resolution: ^549 + VAT Nat West robs War Mono VGA 800x600 Resolution - Compatible with EGAM5A/C6A; £619 +VAT nature of the lyrics and as a consequence tunate though it didn't detract from some Colour VGA 800x600 Resolution - Compatible with E6AM3A«)GA; £^95+VAT of events worldwide), and soon to be re- superb tracks such as 'Shot By Both Sides' leased second album 'Churchtown'. This and their new single. on Want Printer NLQ 80 Column 120 CPS £129 +VAT was the last of a fifteen date U.K tour by The new album is due to be released Last year, WOW Surrey made out a cheque for £297.15 to this Irish band and so it was unfortunate on the 18th March, and promises to be the WOW headquarters in London. Recently we received a We build computers to your spedficatlons. We also repair and upgrade PCs. Please for the audience that Dave Long, the vo- good (& incidentally is rather good hav- statement with a balance of £282.86. WOW had meanwhile call for details of products arid cun^t price list All products include one year wananty. calists voice didn't hold the distance and ing faÙen by a copy....). gone bust and our cheque was never cashed. That didn't stop A&P Computers Ltd. prevented an encore. Although this upset NatWest from taking a total of £14.29 in charges from üiis 35 Walnut Tree Close. Guildford, GU1 4UN Roviow money donated by students. They had opened a business ac- a number of people who thoroughly en- Tel: 0483 304118 Fax: 0483 304124 joyed it, the general apathetic nature that CURVE-Blindfold 12" EP count for us as they didn't realise that WOW is a charity. Now is so symptomatic of this University and Bloomin' marvellous!!!! Absolutely they won't refund the charges without proof: so we need your We are situated within 5 minutes from the the students who take everything for marvelous. help - can you ¡wove that WOW is a charity - if so, go and ring University (inside Wepac Ltd): granted (else squeal like the spoilt things Thanks to ail the people who detracted the enquiries bell and tell them about it. We hope to give the Open Monday to Saturday they are) showed no appreciation, again from my naive, blinkered, one- iracked full sum to Save the Children as soon as the charges are re- nothing new. On stage Ú^ band seemed to dated vision of music and ^allingly naff funded. lack any effective charisma or rapport tastes to produce this piece of confusion Adam BedkowskI with the audience and it was only the this week PS Natwest staff at our university branch are very friend- Stew'ey. ly. Has anyone noticed? 12 bare facts Friday March 8th 1991

Kingdom of Earth Kingdom of Earth, at the Redgrave Theatre until 23 March, is a powerful, Strange and atmospheric drama dealing, at its cnix, with the relationship be- tween a man and a woman, and invol- ving as sub-themes racism and sexual anxiety. Set in rural Mississippi in 1960, the play nevertheless had a kind of Gothic feel to it, with the characters (none of whom seemed to be entirely campos mentis) trapped in the house by the omniprésent danger of flooding whilst rain, lightning and thunder did their wcH^t outside. The first thing to be noted was the truly magnificent set designed by Sally Howard. The imaginatively-designed house with see-through walls so that we could see ali the action was surrounded by realistic woodland and junk. There was even a pond in the garden ! The start of the play was wonderfully atmos- pheric; a solo saxophone could be heard through the beatingrain, and headlights flashed across the stage. The sound ef- fects were perh^^s just a little over-zea- lous, though, sometimes drowning out the actors' words. The first scene was perfectly a sense of mental imbalance. his effeminate brother who is scared of permeated with a sense of mysterious Myrtle, his wife of two days, is a ter- sex. This theme was further emphasised unease as the newlyweds, Lot and gi versatiousdizzy showgirl who owns a during a moment of ironie parallel Myrtle, sat in the parlour waiting for clutch of electrical goods, booty from when at the same time as Mynie was Chicken, Lot's half- brother to come just having been a game-show "Queen performing fellatio on Chicken, Lot had out of the kitchen. One felt as confused for a Day". She was played here by the undressed and was putting on his dead as Myrtle, as the situation was grot- American comedienne Kit Hollerbach, mother's clothes. Sex is at the centre of esquely bizarre. As the action unfolded. who naturally found ail the humour in the whole play; as weil as exploring the and the characters were expanded, her character. Myrtle is described as issue of sexuality, a question that arises things became even more bizarre. having an "uncontrollable voice"; in ail his work, Tenessee Williams ex- Tenessee Williams provides us with sometimes, though. Ms Hollerbach's poses the hypocrisy of the then con- a motley trio of characters, ali of whom diction left a little to be desired. troversial nature of a mixed-race were played weil. Lot, an impotent Chicken is the menacing and despised relationship. This was an excellent pro- transvestite with an Oedpus complex half-brother of Lot, who has been put duction of an extremely absorbing and and TB is certainly the most engaging down and ostracised ail his life because slightly disconcerting play; full marks and interesting character. Marc War- he has coloured blood in him. In this to director Bill Bankes-Jones fcn* mak- ren, the best of the three actors, port- role, Stephen Hattersley was a brooding ing it so. rayed him as a sort of schizophrénie presence on stage throughout, presen- Andy Wílcock zombie-like fígure, and brought out ting a virile and uncouth antithesis to

mzLt

13 Friday March 8th 1991 bare facts

T THE MOVIES Wtth Pete 'n' PhII Screen 2 : POSTCARDS battle of wits, while the second half, FROM THE EDGE (15) where Keaton's true psycho nature Comes through and the odds are raised so that the coiq)le's very lives are at ODEON, EPSOM Mike Nichols' enjoyable light stake, does, unfortunately, degenerate drama about mother/daughter angst into a predictable slash^-type movie. ROAD amongst the decadent glitterati of Hol- That apart, this is stili quite a good, en- Fri 8 March for Sev«i Days lywood Yet another Oscar nwnination joyable thriller from director John for Meryl Streep (who said that her Schlesinger who has fun laying on the Screen 1 : THE GODFATHER career was over after "She-Devil"). Hitchcockian tension. The indefatigable Shirley Maclaine co- PART III (15) stars as Streep's mum. Daily at 1.30 4.00 6.30 9.00 Daily at 1.30 5.40 8.40 The trìumphant concluding pan to Screen 4 : THREE MEN AND Francis Coppola's monumentai trilogy. Michael Corleone attempts to seek re- Screen 3 : PACIFIC A LITTLE LADY (PG) demption ^om a Roman Catholic HEIGHTS (15) Cardinal who will eventually become Or three big prats and a little brat. Ted Danson, Steve Guttenburg, and Pc^. Butisheinreali^amCHisterbe- An unusual and rewarding little Tom Selleck eam their pocket mcmey in yond fOTgiveness, and will the blood- thriller. Michael (Batman) Keaton this dreadfiil sequel who's only saving baths be unplugged once again? A plays a smooth, charming tenant who is grace is the unintentionally revealing masterful piece of movie-making renting the ground-floor apartment view that America has of good ol' which is staged with a Ix^vura that's from landlords Matthew Mc^ne and Blighty : ali country houses, Morris Mi- astonishing. A must Melanie Griffiths. But, (xice they want nors, sheep and Oxbridge. Galling it him to leave they find out what a nasty Daily at 1.05 4.35 8.10 (Ali perfs witless is giving it mcx^ praise than it include intermission) little bastard he réally is: an evil ccmniv- ing sod who'll use every means possible in his Tight against the couple. Daily at 1.20 3.55 6.25 8.55 The first half of the film is a superb SURREY STUDENT TRAVEL SERVICES

GOING HOME FOR EASTER? Then be sure to reserve ali British Rail and National Express tickets IN ADVANCEI! (Special offer on National Express of £9 anywhere in G.B. stili available.)

GOING OVERSEAS? Then please reserve flights, ferries and Continental trains in advance - aiready heavily booked for Easter.

ISIC. Please don't leave it until Fri 15th March or you will join a LONG queuell ISIC is the only proof of student status, so for your placement year abroad it is valuable for ali student discounts.

SUMMER 91. We now have ali our fares for Europe and Woridwide - plus some excellent round-the-worid fares. Please cali In for a quote. Interail cards for 91 are £175 for 1 month's unlimited rail travei in Europe.

14 bare facts Friday March 8th 1991 RAG OFU Hello World! hours of chatting up fellow students and We have chosen next term's films. This is yournew Rag joumo writing hopefully getting them to cough up 50p They are: Sunday/Monday for a cash on delivery trial period hop- for our Rag Mag and then its back to Sea of Love, Witches, Flatliners, ing to meet the high expectations of our their union to play the aforementioned Ghost, Back to the Future 3, The Fabu- lord and master Mr S Herman!? - he's games. lous Baker Boys, The Hunt for Red Oc- the ugly one! Not much more to repcMt really; the tober, Honey I Shrunk the Kids, Pretty The Rag raid to Southampton was Rag meeting was like the IxHidon zoo Woman. quite a success, (mosüy cos I got to monkey house as usuai, with Sam Wednesday Casablanca, Le Grand catch up with some old school mates!) trying to hurry things along on the pre- Chemin, Nikita, The Killing Fields, although we've only got the woik of text of being organised but really cos he Tremors, The Krays, Jesus of Montreal, one or two zealous individuals to thank wanted to go home fa* some tìnnies! - Dead Cairn. for that. What we need are greater num- What dedication to the cause!?! Lateniters Gremlins 1 & 2, Red bers - watch this space fw raids to more Must go now before I get spaced out Heat&K9. exotic climes and do come along. Not by my glow in the dark 'WycÙffe* pos- We have decided to have only 2 only is it a free trip away from our de- ter! showings of the weekend films. These lightfuK?) campus but its worthwhile Love and kisses to you ali will be on Sunday at 6pm and Mcmday and you get the chance to try and beat Jellyhead at 9pm only. The Wednesday films re- Dom and Tanya at the 'Who is the crap- PS Dom is homy! main at 8pm and the Lateniters at 1 Ipm. pest at drinking games' compétition - PPS Slip me the money later Dom. The season tickets are now avail- no mean feat. Ali we ask is a couple of able at the usuai price of £6.50. Guest tickets are stili at £1.70. Wednesday films are £1.50 and Lateniters are Review Of The £2.00. The last film of tiiis term is on Sun- day/Monday - Look Who's Talking at Bìmisoc Review 6pm AND 9pm on both days. Tickets Last Tuesday (26th Feb), some sec- However the question remains - are available fi-om the Trading Desk. ond and fourth year ingenious and cou- who will continue the tradition next If you're very lucky there may stili rageous(!) souls from the Biochemistry year, after this year's 'mad scientists' be some tickets left fw tonight's (8th department got together to perform the are gone? Hopefully this year's third March) Lateniter. The films to be 'infamous' Annual Binnsoc Review years will be equally as crazy as the pre- shown are Ghostbusters 1 & 2. Tickets (annual chance for the biochemists to vious lot, or, who knows, by the time are £2 and are available from the Trad- get back at their tutOTsl). The review, or we rea:h our second year, we might go ing Desk. The films begin at 1 Ipm and revue as it was later renamed, de- crazy ourselves! refìreshments will be served during the veloped into a very explicit and reveal- Athena (Ist year biochem) intermission. ing show, as the students succeeded in David and Paul every way in imitating their fa- vourite(?) characters (biochemistry tu- tors) which took the audience, Society And Me especially us the unprepared first years, Before I came to University I never lost any friends because l'm gay, on the by surprise. really took notice of what went on contrary I have made mwe and closer However the audience were in for a around me. I didn't think it would affect fiiends. further shock as the tutors themselves me so why should I care? As a person I am no différent from proved to be as equally enthusiastic and But as soon as I got here it was a anyone else, 12un as good as the next inventive in their sketches ìe tutors imi- completely différent matter. Looking man and its high lime society recog- tating other tutors, using very clever around I saw that certain people thought nised this as a fact. scripts, nurses' clothes, wigs and bags they knew everything and further that Have you ever stopped to consider over their heads(?), along with very re- what they said wenL It seemed unfair to this: if you have 10 friends on campus vealing kilts! me that someone else should be able to then the chances are that at least one of The Biimsoc night closed with a teli me how I should or shouldn't live them is gay. Of course you don't know loud band of biochemists, with Giles my life. which friend it is but what does that Porter proving his singing abilities. I realised that if something was matter? What matters is that they are wrong it was up to me and people like just like the otiier 9 fiiends and that you me to speak out and maybe get things treat them exactly the same. Help us PoUTax changed. make many people's lives happier. So after 2 terms of self exploration I Being gay is not bad, or wrong, its Guide finally admitted to myself that I was gay what you are and its a part of you. Don't and that no one could change that. I hide it. The long awaited Union Guide to went along to the Lesbian and Gay So- If you want to come along to the the Poli Tax has finally roUed off the ciety meetings, I told some Mends and meetings you will be very welcome. presses. The guide, which covers every I even told my family. I decided I had We meet every TTiursday at 7.30pm in aspect of the mudi maligned tax from done enough hiding, people would have TB20A. If you feel happier, you could its supposed rationale to wh^ h^pens to like me for who I really was - if they have a talk with 2 or 3 of us by dropping if you don't pay up (naughty, naughty), couldn' t accept it then it was their proth a note in our union p/h. is available from eitìier the President or lem not mine. One year later things Laurence WInch VicePresident's offices. generally couldn't be beuer. I haven't

15 Friday March 8th 1991 bare facts SOULCLUB Jon is hard at work on his BPM gigs next term as well as a extravagan- note in the pigeon hole Forthcom- counter this week so you'll have U) put za in the Lower Bar. We are stili wori:- ing tours include Will Downing, Fred- Up with me (Jav) ! The committee have ing out détails but I can tell you that it die Jackson, A TRIBE CALLED been woridng (xi our masteiplan for will see üie club moving in new direc- QUEST, Alexandre O'Neal, Raindance next term. At the moment we can con- tions. (9th & 30th March) and a Talkin' Loud firm that we will have at least one big As for the rest of this teim Keith & showcase Vinyl to check out (if gig in the Main Hall next term, which myself will be DJ 'ing at the Drag Disco you can get hold of it) N-R-GEE Pos- will be promoted in association with this Saturday and we are stili lodking see. Scritti Politti feat. Shabba Ranks, Ents. Lets just say that soulclub & Ents for volunteers to particípate in the Ka- Wally Badarou (Remix), Herb Alpert are currendy negotiating a contract with raoke at the Comic Relief Disco (Hint, (LP) & Ice Cube (EP). Finally, I would a stateside band, détails when EVERY- hint, J

16 bare facts Friday March 8th 1991 Notices

For Sale: S gear mens racing bike - to best playwrite. Play to be produced ed' Kreyszig. Offers please to Gavin £70. Tel. 578575 (evenings & wee- next term. Reeve civ eng p/h or Guildford Ct Send kends) Arts Cinema AGM - Tue 30th Chi Rho - Sunday service - infor- 51. April (wk 2 next term) at 6pm in LTA. mai service at 10.30am University Ct FOR SALE: Aiwa Stereo AJ- Animal Welfare - short sharp & reception, coffee follows. Wednesday W279. 5 months old, double deck, 4 shocking - talk on the most bizarre act night - trip to pub instead of usuai meet- band synthesizer tuner, bass and treble of animal cruelty that you could ever ing. Friday lunch - join us for che^st control, digital radio and time display, think of - by special speaker. 8pm Bar- meal on campus, 50p in Battersea Ct 5-station memory preset, automatic and clay Room Mon Uth March. table termis room (undemeath recep- manual tuning, timer, alarm clock, high SUDS Playwriting competition - tion) at Ipm. speed dubbing, 25W power output, open to all, entries to be in by beginning BOOKS FOR SALE: 'Mechanics microphone, head phcmes inlet Wee of next term to Drama Soc p/h. One act, of Materials' Gere and Timoshenko; £70. contact.Fabrizio, Cathedral Ct 7B half an hour. More details from C Bail- 'Structured Fortran 77' Etter; 'Ad- Room 18. lie via p/h. Trophy & prize £50 awarded vanced Engineering Mathematics 6th Personals

• Cathy.. ..Are you sure that you want to come to Nipland this • Q. Will Apathy Soc succeed? Al. It might but its members summer?? From T.B. never tum up! A2. Who tiie f*** cares! ! • Anders Please can you stop playing with my pony (tail) • Simon Holland - Bis Oktober, auf Wiedersehen... von dem !!!!! Absender der Valentinskarte! • John & Mark... Give us a game & please be gentle Love • To 'Singing Tessa', you supply the gondola, I'll be your gon- Watermelon (T.B.) dolier - fcH^ver. • Cuboid's absent oscillatc«ymanfriend: Miseryorcontempt? • Simon Barry - auf Wiedersehen until October - your distant M.T.F. admirer?!! • Jane: Dancing is the vertical manifestation of horizontal in- • To Puzzycat - will always love you, can't wait till Sunday. tent. Pity I can't dance. Sorry about last weekend, from your Tigar. • Safe sex with A.Condom. • Kath, Look Who's Talking, and talking, and talking and talk- • Alex,the Union is the building half way up the hill. ing. and talking, and... J McClane. • A. Condom- To the secret personal placer, who are you, • To a Stag Hill Disciple, take note - fire escapes are eggs- reveal yourself (completely !!), Doug the waiter. tremely dangerous, from 'Andy Bell • A. Condom - safe, but boring, sex. • Q: Who plays in the toilet with the Vice-Chancellor ?? The Union Print Shop • Jen - Here's to a quiet night on Friday - luv Sean xxx • Rumour,Rumour Mega's been jogging! (I.dcaUrd bv ll»c rulranvi* <>f Ihc Charifflloi 's Mar) • Faun eyes, see it dere! Wow to 9am lectures but next time lets do it rig ht! with more peeps. f • Here you go, kiddo! This one's for you. Oh well.... • I'll never look into your eyes again... • Crazy legs, was it you? Love one of the three 'D's. • Angus, so Playgirl turned you down then? They obviously didn't use the Campden Grading Scale to measure your cu- cumber. • Jim Christie you gorgeous ginger nut - don't you know I sweat about you, luv Fluffy. • Crazy Legs and John, have you got my Sketchley Dry Clean- ing voucher?!! Alexis • D(Hiald, is it right that your PCTSonal Bar has a new speciality 'Florida Cocktail'? At least having no trousers gives you an easily accessible stirring implement! ! XEROX 9400 HIGH SPEED • To XXX, make yourself known, nature awaits you!! COPIER • Stevie, so which part would you like me to reveal?... BR • MSE Mat, I want your nose to make lurve to me...please! 4p PER COPY Waiting for you - KH. Aulomalically collates complclc scU or documenta for bindine. mcludini; • Radio Wales - Now on FMI! rcporls, theses, booklets etc. This means lhal we oiTer an cxcvllcnl. high • SHC 'Erasure* 40 aka The Karaoke Kings, though HNCers quality, fast and low cost copyini; service tor virtually any A4 bhtck and might disagree! ! white job. In addition lo this wc provide other radlilics including ofTset printing (in • Bud loves Budkiss - Hubba-Hubba. colour if required), spiral comb binding, finishine (numbering, folding, • Date: 28.2.91, Place: Lower Bar, Event: a star was bom. collating, sLspling, guillotining cte.) And the production of inWlnlions, tickets, function and membership cards. Who: Abdul Jackson!! If you require further advice, please cull into the Student's Union or phone • Hwace, how are your sheep?! Love the Convent Mike on ext. 3267 who will he happy to help vou with your roqiUrcntcnlK.

17 Friday March 8th 1991 bare facts Sports Facts Men's Volleyball Team Brings Victory To University Of Surrey Once again a sports team from the chester, Loughborough and Reading, 2-1 defeat of Warwick. Upon this vic- University of Surrey proved to be one Surrey faced the challenging task of de- tory, the coach, the team members and of Britain's best itoving successfully feating at least 2 teams, in order to qual- the supporters could hardly believe defended the UAU South-East region^ ify for the semi-finals. what had been achieved: Surrey was in championship in December, the men's Displaying high degrees of profes- the finals! Volleyball team was not only recog- sionalism and superb team spirit in their Unfortunately, Surrey's opponent nised as one of Britain's top 8 squads, first match, Surrey dominated over in the finals was once again Loughbo- but also secured a position in the final Reading, easily defeating them in 2 rough. Despite their determination and UAU Tournament straight sets. Their next match, how- will, Surrey was overpowered by Dedicating a vast amount of his per- evCT, stopped Surrey from winning the Loughboroug's well-established team. sonal time, coach ANDY MACDO- pool, as Loughborough defeated Sur- Losing 3 sets to 1 in the finals, the NALD ensured that the Surrey team rey. The Surrey squad was now under dream of being England's best Univer- was in top physical and mental condi- extreme pressure to defeat the very si^ Volleyball team had been shat- tion required for the final UAU Volley- skilled Mkichester side, in order to se- tered. ball championship toumament, held at cure a position in the semi-finals. In a Despite this defeat, Surrey men's Exeter University on Saturday 2nd and nerve-r^king match, Surrey's power- Volleyl^l team has finally completed Sunday 3rd March 1991. The Surrey ful offence and virtually impenetrable their success story: 3 years ago, the men's squad continuously worked defence defeated the M^chester side 2 team could barely complete with the hard, practising up to 4 times a week, in sets to 0. By defeating Manchester, Sur- Universities in the South-East region. order to function as a solid team. rey had come second in their pool, now Now, after 2 years of intensive training, scheduled to play the winner of the op- On March 1st, the following 10 dedication and will-power, experienced posite pool: Warwick. team members set off to Exeter, eager coaches and skilled players have trans- to improve last year's fifth place at the On Sunday Surrey once again formed the Men's Volleyball Team of UAU finals: showed their determination to win the this Univosity into a team recognised Carsten Stoehr (captain), Fer- entire tournament, by defeating a very by coaches and players nation-wide, as nando Ariza (vice-captain), Stig strong Warwick side. The continuous the second best vollyeball team in the Nydal, Stan Murzynowski, Andy cheering from the Surrey supporters en- country! Dahlin, Yasuki Kitabayashi, Tosh sured that the team spirit was at a con- Kyras, Kadir Aydin, Reza Reman, stant high. Coach MacDonald's Carsten H A Stoehr Mohammed Al Amin exp^ience and carefully planned tac- Being grouped in a pool with Man- tics proved vital in Surrey's impressive The Faculty Sports Day Society

Well, the big day is almost upon us tion Ceremony. Tickets fw this event not able to participate. If there are any (or if you never read Bare Facts until are free to all participants, however a problems on the day there will be Friday - like me - its already here), the limited number of spectatcx-s tickets (at numerous organisers wandering around first ever ENGINEERING FACULTY a mere one pound each) will be ava- in lurid T-shirts, all the fixtures and SPORTS DAY. As far as we can tell ilable for purchase at the sports hall be- times will be on display at the sports from our preliminary estimates the turn fore 6pm and at Manor Farm before hall and at Mano* Farm. Events start at out should be very good, with over 400 5pm. Anyone is more than welcome to 1 lam at both venues and will culminate people making up over 150 teams to come along, there will be a presentation with a Tug-of-war competition in the compete in 14 different events. We also ceremony few the winn^s, a prize draw Sports Hall at 5pm. expect a large number of spectators to raffle and a disco. Both the Hall Bar and attend this evwit and cheer their teams Hall Lounge Bar will be open and we See you ALL there tomorrow (later along. Our philosoi^y is the more the have got a BAR EXTENSION until today) and GOOD LUCK to everyone merrier, so if you find yourself at a lose 1AM! taking part. end down to the sports hall or out Basically, if you don't come along to Manor Farm and watch the Engineers to this MEGA-event, you won't know Dave Faraday - Chairman uy and play sport! what you're missing. So, make an effort Faculty Sports Day Society. As well as this sporting extravagan- and at the very least come along and za, in the evening we will be holding a cheer on your department, or your Faculty Sports Day Party and Presenta- friends in engineering, even if you are

18 bare facts Friday March 8th 1991 Sports Facts UAU Men's Winter Tennis Success The Surrey men's team have won In the Spring tCTm they had con- age from the chairman. Marcel Kagzi: through to the final stage of the Winter vincing victories over the Universities "The players have put in a lot of effort UAU Tennis Championships after win- of Southamptim, North Wales and East and fully deserve their success in reach- ning their group ¿vision. The team Anglia. Surrey have therefore reached ing the final round of the UAU Winter (Sjur Palsen, Chris Sandsdalen, John the semi-fmals/final to be held this wee- Tournament Congratulations and best Loosemoore and Dave Mills) per- kend at the University of Exeter. They of luck!" formed very well in the Autumn term to are drawn to play Durham in their semi Go get 'em!! win all their matches and go through to and if successful they will play the win- Raj the second round. Infact they beat ners of the match between Loughbo- Tennis Club Social Sec Sussex, the LSE, Imperial College and rough and Exeter in the final. Kent without losing a single game. On behalf of the tennis club a mess- Manojos Cut-out And Keep Guide To Sport This Easter DATE SPORT EVENT VENUE

16 March England v France Twickenham Decider

24 March Motor Racing Brazilian Grand Prix Interlagos

27 March Football England v Rep. of Ireland Wembley European Championship Qualifier

30 March Rowing Oxford V Cambridge The Thames The Boat Race

5 April Racing The Grand National Aintree

11-14 April Golf US Masters Augusta, Georgia, USA

12-13 April Basketball Carisberg Championship Finals NEC, Birmingham

13-21 April Squash British Open Championship Lambs, London & Wembley

14 April Football FA Cup Semi - Finals t.b.a.

20 April Snooker World Championships The Crucible, -6 May Sheffield

21 April Athletics The London Marathon London

21 April Football Man Utd. v Sheffield Wed. Wembley Rumbelows League Cup Final

19 Friday March 8th 1991 bare facts Sports Facts Another Grand Slam Deeider As I predicted in bf (we^ 3), ihis the deficit to one point midway through two minutes - kicking ahead and then year's 5 Nations' Championship will be the half with another fantastíc penalty. outpacing everybody in the sprint to decided at the last match of the season The last quarter of the game was con- touch the ball down. between England and France at Twic- stant England pressure which finally This began the rout - France scored kenham on March 16th. Both teams had paid off with eight minutes remaining. 6 tries (3 converted) and 3 penalties. victories on Saturday but with widely cut a path through the Wales' (xily points came frwn an im- contrasting form. England struggled to Irish defence on the left hand side to mense kick by Paul Thorbum from in- beat Ireland 16-7 whereas France score a try which brought great relief to side his own half. The French were thrashed the hapless Welsh 36-3. the England supporters. magnificent in every department. Ad- At Landsdowne Road England also went over in the dying seconds as mittedly Wales nevw posed much of a were disappointíng to say the leasL It the England serum finally asserted threat but the fact is they were never was obvious how much they have relied some authority on the valiant Irish. allowed to. The match ended in jubila- on 's kicking in the Their 16-7 victory gives thOTì ihe Triple tion as Bianco, with the whole crowd previous matches to give them a solid Crown - their first success since Bill urging him on, kicked the final c(Miver- base from which to impose their auth- Beaumont's Grand Slam winning side sion fìom the touchline. ority. However this time Hodgkinson in 1980. England will have to play much bet- missed his first three penaltíes and Ire- At Parc-des-Princes the French ter if they are to stop Bianco ending hisj land scored one. Hodgkinson managed crowd gathered to bid farewell to their career with another Grand Slam. It is to cancel it out just before half time. inspirational captain Serge Bianco. now ali set up for a thrilling match next The second half began in tremen- This was his last 5 Nations match in Saturday as the Championship goes to dous fashicm for the Irish with Geoghe- front of his home supporters and he was a final deciding match for the second gan scoring a try in the opening fìve not going to let the Welsh spoil his year in succession. minutes. England gradually began to party. With this typically sparkling per- Manoj come back into the game but the Irish formance it is (Ûfficult to see how defence was resolute - they were deter- France are going to replxe him. He mined to hang on. Hodgkinson reduced scored a wonderful try in the opening

Saturday 9th March Upper Bar 7pm Üekets - £3.00 Music by Soul Club, No Wave & GCR Tickets for the original event are stili valid. New tickets are on sale at the Trading Desk

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