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■ SUPERMAN IV FX I BOWIE ■ IAN RUSH ■ BIG COUNTRY ■ DEATH STARS ■ THE STRANGLERS ■ SKIING HOLIDAYS
■ WINTER COATS ■ LP/VIDEO/BOOK REVIEWS ■ JOYSTICK ROUND—UP ■ WIN A VID! ■ WIN A TOMATO! ■ WIN A CURRY! ■ REVIEW OF THE YEAR
T¥m IS LM WELCOME to this 80-page A NEWSFIELD PUBLICATION first issue of LMt, You've probably been JANUARY 1987 Joint Publishers Franco Frev. Oliver Published by Leisure Monthly Ltd reading Newsfield compu Frev Roaei Kean foi Newsfield Publications Ltd ter mags for some time Editor Rocrei Kean now, but you’ll find LM is Deputy Editor Paul Strange r 1986 Newsfield Publications London Editor David Cheat Limited quite different. Different, Features Editor Curtis Hutchinson because it has an aggres Sub-Editor Barnabv Paqe REVIEWS sively personal approach; Staff Writers Sue Dando Richard different because it is set Lowe IJoyd Mangram Simon Poultei Editorial Assistants Sally Newman ting out to cover the widest Mary Moms 39 Hot videos imaginable range of life's Art Director Oliver Frey (Annhilator, Back To The Future, Under aspects. Assistant Art Editor Gordon Drure LM’s strength lies in the Production Controller David The Cherry Moon, Rocky IV, hot platters Western Pet Shop Boys, Paul Young, Spandau, outlook and attitude of its Production Matthew Uffindell Mark China Crisis, The Stranglers, Billy, etc), and writers, who have come Kendnck Jonathan Rignall Nick some great golden turkeys. Strong stuffing. together because they Orchard share similar views on life. Group Advertisement Manager Roger Bennett However, sharing a gen National Sales Executive Barbara eral view is one thing — Gilliland REGULARS agreeing on the detail is Advertising Assistant Nick Wild another, especially when Circulations Manager Thm Hamilton Subscription* Manager Dcmsp 8 UPFRONT the specific covers such a Robert? generality of subject mate Editorial Offices Where it's at, the lowdown, and new bits. rial. In fighting to 'get their 47 Gravel Hill Ludlow Shropshire This month: How We Began (Lloyd goes own way', contributors' SY8 1 OS potty), Death Stars, Christmas Walkmans IS 0684 6861 '6857 elbows and shoulders have Fax: 0684 6044 and ghetto blasters, Win A Tomato, Word been rubbed raw in the con London Office Advance Works 44 Up (Lloyd’s letters col)... the list is end flict. The battle bodes well. Wallace Road London N1 IPO less. ® 01 959 9346'675C I wanted to create a lively, Fax 01 369 9332 16 STATION TO STATION opinionated, even brash ADVERTISING magazine, jammed with lnformation'bookings S 0684 4603 Around Britain with LM's intrepid team of ideas and the sense that it .?W STRANGLERS stringers. Includes reports from Dublin, wasgetting 'inside' whatit 01 226 4568 Liverpool, Edinburgh, Norwich, Newcas- Printed in England by Carlisle Web Jg.-m Cor.TwaU’s into ccro.'-ui sr games and talked about, and I think tle-Under-Lyme and Watford. Critical. Offset Ltd Newtown Trading Estate vw:d Aboriginal cone. V.o \\ Dep Ed. you’ll find this first edition Carlisle Cumbria CA7 7NR ofLM—issue zero—is cer Membei ol the BPCC Group Colour 2'J LET US SPRAY 30 NIGHTLIFE separations bv Scan Studios tainly packed with personal Up sr,' .-iinst the wo. a- Vd the boss Hot disc spinner Simon Goffe on the trail of lxwcton Typesetting bv The Tortoise London’s best night clubs. Essential. feeling and opinion. Shell Press Ludlow OOti.iti artist is iV:>c. batser in action LM is not a style Distributed by COMAG Tavistock again. The bio vo words. magazine. We don't pre Rond West Dravton Middlesex UB7 66 TRAVEL AND HOLIDAYS The Rough Guide men slope off for a spot tend to know what you’ll 24 THE FC- - like (or should like), even Mad: . > n drags Richard of skiing in Europe. The LM expenses budget gets stretched. though we'U have a Low . • : rek. Magic. damned good go at telling 74 CONSUMER GUIDE you we do I Well, that's not The big boss man RK gets to grips with strictly true — we're only SP&Qi&l mw loads of joysticks. We know where he's human — we do think we coming from. know what's best, but we 72 MONDO BIZARRO expect to be put down, 51 1986 —THE YEAR argued with, shouted at Hunter S Minson with tales of the unex THAT WAS pected in Hollywood. A novel idea. and occasionally, no doubt, The last 12 months pinpointed, picked out, we'd like some agreement. persecuted and appraised (dig that allitera 76 HASSLES LM won't be preaching tion) Music, sport, video, films, fashion, TV, Lloyd Mangram (LM's resident agony from a platform of' know current affairs and a special report on the uncle) in action. Informative. ingness' . Our job is to bring Grand Prix season. Terrific Terry. forward items that interest 78 PRIZE CROSSWORD us as an editorial team and 62 XMAS — THE BIG ONE The first in a long line. This month: win a hope those subjects and Turkey time again. Ranting Richard Lowe curry! Hot stuff. our ways of looking at them slags the whole thing off, while Martin Sut interest you too. ton suggests you go down the flicks. 78 UMQUAT THE ALIEN In so doing LM should Strewth! LM’s crazy cartoon caper rolls arouse some passions and, 14 SUBSCRIPTION OFFER into print with a not-too-distant relative of as the reader, you can join A free £19 joystick is yours free (really, Jetman. Amazing. in the debate through the absolutely free) with every subscription to letters pages and by writ LM. Accept no substitutes, LM's the real ~—. a ing counter-arguments as fling. articles. There are other reader-involvement areas too, such as STATION TO STA TION (see page 16). Cross ONEO opinion is what we want, so, as with the computer LM titles, wherever it's practic able, reviews carry the opinions of more than one critic—there you may well witness the flesh wounds caused by the clashing of g^S££sss®s^--~- ■' individual wills! ISSUE 1.1LM U ..■“''’Ipaopli'.ulw But above all, LM is thing. intended to be a packed, In all good nevfB#JJJw will be sentenced damned good read. I hope you find it so. ROGER KEAN the better choice. t Normal lacuaa of LM will bo bat- weon 112 and 124 pages SUBS?" January 1987 LM □ O |;
The, hA/'Moj btb on£ke D?(6? fav’y a ^turbm9 effect.
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k- of 110,000 — the largest ON THE BUSES advance sale ever for any game. The game consists of a Danny Kishon’s new board game, ‘Sep board and a set of shaped tember’, looks set to become a Christmas best plastic pieces (which stick seller. DAVID CHEAL—our man in Wilsden to the board thanks to a with a passion for cheap curries — discovers new chemical process cal led plastic migration). how Danny did his market research on the There are two players. One back seat of a bus. tries to map a route from the top of the board to the FOUR-and-a-half years buying and selling from bottom; the other does the ago, Danny Kishon had just each other ’ So Danny spent same from left to right. Both left university. Fearful of four gruelling years raising players also try to block off settling down to a lifetime the £25,000 he needed to the opposing player's of drudgery in his chosen launch the game himself. route. It’s simple, stimulat field, physiology and Lucky for Danny, then, ing and very addictive. biochemistry, Danny took that he met people like the Danny is currently off to America on a cheap dinner party guest who negotiating with Activision Laker flight and bought a played the game with him and Virgin on the rights for Greyhound bus pass for and was so impressed he a computer version of Sep £99. It's the cheap way to wrote out a cheque for tember. He's wary, how see the States: you sleep on £5,000. He was one of the ever, of computer games— the bus at night, and do larger investors; many they depend on reflexes. your sightseeing during the were friends who chipped There are some excellent day There's only one snag. in with a few quid. Then computer games around, Because it's a cheap ticket, came the retailers. They, but with many of them you can only travel on cer too, were sceptical at first. there's no thought tain, often very circuitous But Danny, still convinced involved. I prefer some routes; if you use the more that his idea was marketa thing which makes you direct 'A' routes, you have ble, spent hours — some think. And in general I pre to pay extra. times days—in their recep fer board games because Danny was frustrated, tion foyers until the exasp they're social—youhave to but intrigued 'It was as erated buyers finally sit down with someone to though they were playing a agreed to see him. And play them.' game with me,' he says, when he did get an appoint For Danny Kishon, the ‘trying to block off all my ment, Danny didn’t try to astonishing success of Sep routes.' The germ of an idea sell them the game; he just tember comes after years for a new game was bom. asked them to play it with of hard work. Now he's ‘Most games,' he says, him. finally seeing the rewards. ‘are based on chasing and It worked. Today Sep ‘It was like being pregnant killing. I thought it would tember is stocked by virtu for four-and-a-half years,' be interesting to develop a ally all the major retailers he says, 'and now I’ve Three 1rom the crowd improvise a' vignette' (whatever that is) game which was based on (price £5.99) and has finally given birth. It's a telling everyone how wonderful LM is going to t>e. blocking your opponent.’ clocked up advance orders great relief.' He came back from the States broke, on the dole bk I and determined to develop the idea. The flat where he ‘TELL 'em how we started.' than London's fashionable LM Editorial looked on with was staying was cold and it said Paul Strange. ‘Tell disco the Camden Palace? was difficult to work there, them about The Launch.' mixed-honor (they don't But a disco is a formidable like launches) as first Roger so Danny's girlfriend Ann Those very words, with place without a crowd, so bought him a monthly bus their enforced capital let- Kean (your erstwhile pressure was put on Editor) and then Roger Ben win a tomato-’ pass for September (hence ters, inspire dread. For six Graeme Kidd's Renta- the name of the game). months you think about a nett (even ersterwhile Danny could now sit in the CRASH-ZZAP! - AMTIX!- Advertisement Manager) KETCHUP on the latest in magazine, then for another mob to get some readers warmth of the bus, work on six you plan it in more made prats of themselves 35mm compact technology along for the event, and at the microphone. Kean's with this saucy new Konica his game and test it out on detail, and then suddenly some 200 turned up. passengers who sat next to there's no time left for speech was very inspiring Tomato camera. Thrill to To get things moving. (at least ha looked pleased the built-in electronic flash, him on the back seat. TAX thinking, for The Launch is Gax Top— of Gel Fresh ‘It was the ideal market upon you, with himself afterwards). rave over the attractive fame — was hired and. as grey shoulder-pouch and research, because I played There are various types Bennett's was more down- the game with everyone those who were there will to-earth — an attempt to save yourself £49.95 by tel of launch (some float on know, he dashed about the ling us: from kids on their way to water, others push things drag money from adverris- school to old ladies out place like a man possessed ers'pockets. Top with David Aston, winner of the Konica MR 70 camera! a) Which photographic m into water), but LM's — moving things. doing the shopping. I launch was aimed at During the course of the band is fronted by Roddy Downstairs on the disco auto-focus, motorised film Frame? reckon I tried it out on about would-be advertisers, and event, Gar Top gave away efforts, to Hugh for the a thousand people.' floor, the Kidd Rentamcb -oads of prizes for all sorts advance and re-wind, and b) Which 1934 cartoon at the trade media-moguis gyrated, banged heads and sounds and lights, to CSL None of the 35 games who ultimately decide of silly competitions Top avi^omauc electronic flash, for arranging it all, and strip hero was brought to consumed burgers, while m readers who would life by Sam J Jones in a 1980 companies to whom Danny whether you'll be pigeon the remoter eynes of the 5?*** day was an MR especially to Gaz, who subsequently sent the holed with O, The Face or 70 compact camera, kindly to own a Konica camera moved so many things SF film? Faiace's upper circle. the c)FreezeFrame was a hit game was impressed; the Daily Mirror for the ®t*ereuafyl9&? *CI tl3*r tremendous are only really interested in tfpfaQHt THE Nol MUSI? STATION ON THS PHONE. V - -
0898 12 13 01 WMIM MMm A MAH 0898 1213 02 Clad only in a graphic equalizer, SIMON POULTER reports on personal stereos. 0898 1213 03
WHETHER you’re into per 0898 12 13 04 three-band equalizer. Sony CFS-230L (which sonal earache, Sony-style, Going up a few sovs we or large-scale peace-shat entertains your fearless lis find the Sony WM-31FS tener day and night). The tering, there's something (£34.95), which attaches a 0898 12 13 05 on the Christmas personal- CFS-950 comes in yellow basic Walkman to a speaker and white. stereo market to suit both package; this one will make your wallet and your shoul JVC offer two versions of 0898 12 13 11 you really popular in an their personal stereo, the der-muscles. early-morning commuter Toward the bottom of the JVC CX-5K and the CX- train. 5FK. Both these models very wide price-range, Sony continue their 0898 12 13 12 Sony's WM-33 will proba mas- feature auto reverse, Dolby ter plan to take over the B, metal-tape compatibility bly be successful, going for world with portable enter the same as the popular and earphones; the CX- tainment. Following their 5FX also has a built-in FM 0898 12 13 13 WM-22 (£29.95—the man successful Sports ufacturer's recommended radio. The JVCs are the Walkman, the Floating most compact of the new price, like all in this guide) Walkman (the WM-35) and but with the extra feature personal stereos (not much 0898121314 the Watchman, they have larger than a cassette and of a five-band graphic the Sony CFS-950 equalizer. For the same only 185g), but at £65 and (£129.95), a splashproof £98 respectively they may price, Aiwa's HSG-35 version of their other popu comes second with a mere be a bit pricey. 0898 12 13 15 lar new launch, the £49.95 The range of ghetto-blas ters looks more like the Bat- speakers and one eight- tersea Dogs' Home resident new addition to tl watt speaker for that extra catalogue—but it rslike 0898 1213 16 list — woofers and super- dimension. Arf, arf. woofers everywhere. a hurriedly-produo ver JVC’s ever-expanding sion of the Sony Cl 30L, Hitachi are the chief per- range of portable stereos 0898 1213 17 petrators, blasting ghettos and it’s a cheeky £5f moves into alternative Finally, with Ai.v/c "’A- like there's no tomorrow design with the oddly with an extensive range of W30 Carry Compo: attractive wedge-shaped System you get a va jr- 0898 12 13 18 musical juggernauts. Most JVC PC-25 (£69). Its Sony likely to cause hernias is the £99.95 package; a ft equivalent, the Sony CFS- bandradio, atwinca; :te Hitachi TRK-3D8 at 4000L, goes for £99, but the £129.99 and 6.9kg — and deck with high-spot-: ob- 0898 12 13 19 five-band graphic bing, detachable two :ay that's including eight, yes, equalizer, auto reverse and eight batteries. This colos speakers and a five-band automatic search function graphic equalizer. sus also has the unique 3-D are worth the extra £30. feature — two three-watt Stick that in your deck a direct connection to The JVC RC-20 is another and play it. best in music on HALINA ZOOM INTO COLOUR CAMERA colours used to have as much variety as the Ford motor company—you could have any colour you liked as long as it was ■ m black’ every day with news, Market research has con vinced Japanese manufac turers that younger photo graphers want gear that’s a bit more stylish. As a And dial the number result there’s been a flood of compact-type cameras in every conceivable hue dur ing the past year or so, and Kalina is the latest com- par.*/ to catch on to the idea that brighter colours make for bigger sales Their excellent Little i&g compact — featuring built- in hash, a lens protection ir.g.and'DX'coding sen- Launched earlier this year blind and a fixed-focus m blacJ{. a red version has shutter — has just been just come onto the market, made available in red, with due to be followed by a a classy wh-te version due L*V E W#R E model in burgundy, to follow m November. It rumoured to be the most costs a very reasonable successful colour scheme of £22 95 all. Rather more up-market Finally tfcere's the AF Kalina reckon that half ' and with a whole host of ’ s:o. j extra gadgets, (automatic pric*dat£5S95 Thus meir camera sales are col oured models, and it's a j niro ioadmg, **«»•> rewind- i i -t 3'itO-foClS «gure that's bound to rise- TERRY HOPE A call to Livewire costs betv/een 41p per minute peak and standard rate,and 26p per minute cheap rate0 Revel in its essential, intellectual qualities, t/p FnoHt devour its Proustian angst, swim in its Pre- cambrian lakes of mythi TRASHTOWN with shuriken and rice flails cal beauty, feed with the and lurk around the woods Thesaurusses in their pre- when it's dark.' Roget state of innocent The £6.99 rice flail, or bliss, deep in the primeval swamps of unmitigated ROCK nunchaku, which Max culture. LOOKING for bought from DH Martial some ■ LM unusual entertainment in Arts is also a ninja weapon, London around Christmas’ though the one he chose UNSMART Try the Half Moon Theatre was painted with a Union My cup runneth over. Before long I’ll be running sill of in Mile End, where you can STAR CRAZY Jack — a symbol which Newsfield. Only AMTIX! escapes my grasp, but the Dear Lloyd, experience an authentic seems to have little connec egregious Saffron Trevaskis seems to have it sewn up. If I had my way, the follow Jamaican pantomime. tion with ancient martial Never mind, I've got LM. Let's be having your letters as ing charter would be Flash Trash, written by around the death stars, or arts. Recognised clubs enforced on all youth-cul fast as you can, otherwise Roger (who moves from mag Barbara Gloudon, with Despite anewcode ofconduct, 'death shuriken, partly because teach the use of the flail in to mag) Kean will make me redundant. And you won’t ture magazines: music by Felix Cross star* weapons appear to be freely they are available so easily martial arts systems such lose out either. I’ll be picking out a letter of especial merit 1) No politics. When Jamaicans first and cheaply. A death star as karate, but in the hands 2) No smart-arsed Julie Bur- each month and that will earn its writer the princely sum started performing pan availabletoanyonewho wantstobuy can cost as little as £1. of a lout the flail can be a of £19.99 — just like the letter which follows ... chill. tomimes. they stuck to the them. Most of these weapons have a Although many of the very dangerous weapon 3) No smart-assed letter format of the traditional weapons on sale in this indeed. replies. English panto, with princi legitimate place in supervised mar country have a legitimate The nunchaku is similar For some reason these ple boys, dames, ugly sis tial arts training sessions, but in the place in the training ses in design to the implements seem to be trendy necces- £15 and £20 for a pair, I ters and so on but during sions run by recognised first used centuries ago by ALL CHANGE sities for ‘pop’ rags, and it the last 60 years they've wrong hands they could be extreme!* clubs, Richard Thomas says Chinese peasants to grind don’t expect to have to don’t wash. LM is young developed then own dis dangerous. MARK EDMONDS that shuriken are rarely rice. Their flails doubled as Dear Lloyd, make alterations. For that and apparently ‘upfront’; tinctive form of show used J:y genuine martial handy weapons with which Following the recent intro price the things should fit don't let it become the Aimed as much at adults as investigates. Pictures by BEEZER. arfciOnly one or two the peasants could defend duction of the pound and first time, around the waist, same as the rest. at children, it's one of the The DH Martial Arts Centre in London's Carnaby Street only one of f ho• . v r, is country know themselves against rival two-pound coins, isn't it around the bum and on the Martin Fossy, on the dole most popular forms of many ehops In Britain now selling potentially lethal weapons. i . to these stars gangs. It looks like a double time the Government intro leg. in Basildon entertainment in Jamaica, ' p A death star, like truncheon, joined in the duced the 99p coin? With so I would like to see certain as well as being an enorm ON a chilly Saturday in j ir oypi ;• ■•’.'tile can be middle with a robust metal many shops charging any manufacturers boycotted, It’s simply not in my ous tourist attraction October, 13-year-old Max • y ' w ager You chain. thing from 99p to £199.99 letters sent to managing nature to give what you Fluckiger strolled into a • . ild a fly out a per- LM approached the for their goods, a 99p coin directors and demonstra quaintly refer to as ’ smart- shop in central London and ;/a .-'VC?, avo:-. • the death assistant who sold Max the would dispense with the tions staged outside their assed’ replies. If by ‘poli emerged with a carrier bag • odgav v'sron'tpar- weapons to find out DH’s need for the nation's hard- factories. Perhaps there tics’ you mean Mr Hat- full of lethal weapons. -IcuiM/ly . -i.up. The major- policy on selling to those pressed shopkeepers and will be some action once tersly, have no fear; and In the shop, DH Martial ■ . stars are under 18. The assistant assistants to hand out a the public and manufactur when we’ve got Richard Arts of Carnaby Street, no '7 people with no pointed to a notice on her penny change on every ers are aware of the situa Lowe on the editorial attempt was made to ask •c vnartic.: rifts.’ counter which said that purchase. tion. team, who needs Julie Bur- Max his age or to find out ! :i rcisi as* -i are cur- under 18s would not be Penny Dreadful, Church Matthew Smale, Erridge chill? what possible use a north : Tu • eying -.coin — served. She said the man Lane, Tunbridge Wells Road, London SW19 ■ LM London schoolboy would iiv.-cu > 4.0 clubs in ager was away; we wel have for a selection of sharp this couv";-' <•••» registered come his comments. Yes, but just think how Britain’s always been a bit FUN BOY THREE metal throwing discs and a with the order, but oth 3 wzihth; i-'AC. Perhaps the Whether or not Max's boring life at the checkout behind when it comes to Chinese rice flail—despite are less exacting. most disturbing aspect of shopping trip will have any would become. No more trousers. In New York you Dear Lloyd, recent Home Office Bruce Ayling, publis n the current boom is the bearing on the politicians hanging around, chatting can buy jeans of almost Why don’t you have a col attempts to ensure that of Fighters (a magazine ninja craze. and mandarins at the Home to the other waiting cus any length in each waist umn on word associations I'lit* kids rm along for t h< such weapons are only sold which carries a number of In medieval Japan, the Office remains to be seen. tomers while the cashier size. LM welcomes your in your magazine? It's great IlV.lSl! s:ivs direct01 to bona fide martial artists advertisements for maitial ninja were a secret society Labour Home Affairs tries to work out how much pressure group, Matthew, fun boy three bags full on over the age of 18. the hill street blues woke Yvonne Brewster but it's aits weapons), maintains of assassins, willing to spokesman Clive Soley MP change you're expecting and more power to your 11 v n < 1 dull uftair Prompted by reports that that his advertisers are bump off anyone — for a told LM he was not con from eight purchases each inside leg, I say. up this morning has broken the easy availability of 'li*-pi"! of Flash Tntshis responsible, but some of price. They would operate vinced that legislation was costing something and ■ LM the silence is golden won UK 'Mipiic.itt-d story :-t these so-called 'death the ads in the magazine at night, clad in a menacing the answer. 99p. However, Penny, der of Woolies bully for you stars' was likely to lead to and me and a dog named '"i P'-opI*' ■.*! make no reference to the black uniform which ‘Before any legislation, I your £20 note (I lied at the SHAME ON YOU :.editown then «,trugyie code of conduct. included a full-face hood. think it’s important that we top) is on its way. boo to a goose that laid the rid how they zsfss&SE. 'We can't make it man Ninja traditions are said to have an intelligent debate ■ LM Dear Lloyd, golden egg, sausage, chips Office drew up. volunuuy .UTuTT ■ . r"" to I*"****- utact with datory,' he says, ‘because have survived Japan's tur about these weapons. I thought you'd be and beans on toast rack and ! *ppM “. th< r*. that would be an infringe bulent history and rumours Unfortunately, it’s impossi DADDY SHORT interested to know that I ruin. nh.ibil (i >! Bicdy ment of the Restriction of abound that units of ninja ble to legislate against real saw the first issue of your What do you think? The code stipulates that '*lrown' ®WW1 ** *** *•*•**•» ** not fully sharpened. LEGS H1 ■ 111 h. 1;. when- King Null r, Trade Act, but the majority were attached to the criminal behaviour, and if magazine back in Sep Brian Cell, Stockton-on- ;• • >kmii lot .lit iihiv cuilor of advertisers in Fighters Japanese Imperial Army in someone wants to assault Dear Lloyd, tember. On the front cover Teesmaid !• >! hr. f •iiibie davujhtci SStS^tTSSSSST' “WW*. <**««- would not be prepared to the Second World Weir. someone else they will I’m thinking of starting a it said ‘Dummy Issue'. Is '*• p«< ‘duct i.'m hear s to a recognised martial arts and retailers. Richard **°**f°f*1116 MAC ^ con- sell dangerous weapons to James Clavell's novel Sho probably do so, irrespective new organisation and I’m that the way to refer to your It’s the sort of thing that • *• tv English dub (membership cards Thomas a member of the cemed that as the martial people whoarenotgenuine gun and the TV series The of the weapons available. hoping that some of your loyal readers, the people sticks in your throat swal should be shown at the MAC’s executive thin£ arts become more popular, martial artists.’ Master (Lee Van Cleef Bread knives are good for readers will be interested who pay for your bread and low antiperistalsis puke
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The T- your £15 subscription pay IM *^5 li* I LM SUBSCRIPTION OFFER, PO BOX 10, shirt is 100% white cotton ment. Ux? ****** ** **• •»•** l LUDLOW, SHROPSHIRE SY8 1DB -i** -- hi i L or Set uxxutX w d-» D ft.MJray>i9S? January 1987 LM □ 19 Lei NGSWOj wositn > - - >y 'M. ,a> *BRISTQl) 'r~i —''I r i ■„ 2 ► \22 /sJailsea • j/l/Q/Ji Edde. flvwf. . w---- \ End St Mnrv'lJariaStts: M3 i Grove irjsTlax &Barrow x Ti £ jBourton GurneyyS' • Chelvey est Photograph Dy Bryn Jones l Brocklev Town *588 n] North >nituu riurriuin 764 uuafsSnit" End NOTTINGHAM M. asr:& at’sprt is! /T>M2«3 C VXnoc on*-' 0^i' St p Myths, 'Ss^Sobhoi! New field. :>rr Lam were nm A«i /// : the Irish best gig in Norwich. In ALL right, here we go: Santa is on his way with the £ S December UEA present a usual sack of goodies and should just about arrive at the s superb reggae package usualtime, providedthepolice don'tstop him for shoot Uverpoo/’s § NORWICH is fairly busy o headlined by Sly and Rob ing up... SCU/t during December, with a bie (2), plus the Human £ front mass of events taking place It's the old familiar routine, you spend 360 days avoid Trinity College, Dublin. League (3), Hawkwind (5) ing certified gheks, and what happens? They all end up and record labels (Probe Plus—home of Half Man Half at the Norwich Arts and Gary Glitter (12, 13). THE climate has never been as cold in Ireland as it has ment is extremely limited. The Olympia Theatre Centre. starring in the Xmas panto. Pull back the screens and Biscuit—being one), but live venues are currently a bit been this winter; mind you, the weather hasn't been so (capacity 1,800), is presenting the childrens' musical NAC and UEA aside, cue Cilia Blind Date Black rubbing her enormous thin on the ground. Clubs come and go with alarming good either. Housed since 1978 in a smaller venues (in the form Bugsy Malone, while the Gaiety Theatre (capacity converted church, the NAC shoulders against Aladdin and his wonderful lamp at regularity these days, though the World Downstairs at Socially, politically and financially, the climate has of pubs and clubs) also pro the Empire for six weeks from 18 December. And to add the Royal Court is a good free night out with local 1,500), sees Maureen Potter (Ireland’s leading female was formerly known as Pre mote an irregular supply of been rapidly deteriorating, and looks set to continue satirical comic), starring in her 21st pantomime. mises and was originally a insult to injury, Lindisfarne (ask your Dad) bring their music, while the Monro in Chinatown is taking over as this way. gigs with the emphasis on Christmas show into the Pool on 9 December. the hippest, if intermittent, pub venue in town. Rock and pop fans, familiar with Dublin's lack of con haven for hippies and veg rising indie bands. The Government are about to fall from office, the cert venues (and only one of these capable of holding gies. The name change has 'And what did you get for Christmas little boy?', Theatre is prominent in Liverpool. There are two social calendar is almost empty, and with anew budget crowds bigger than 8,000), have very little to look for Meanwhile, the spirited asked Santa. well-known producing houses in the Playhouse (which on the way the hard earned wage packet is about to signalled some startling Norwich Venue Campaign ward to. The main attractions are (wait for it) A-Ha, innovations (meat on the 'Well I got Derek Hatton by the balls, and I'm putting celebrated its 75th anniversary in November) and become even less meaningful. The constant Irish media Joan Armatrading. Suzanne Vega and Huey Lewis { (supported by a six figure them somewhere safe 'til after the General Election,’ there's the trendy Everyman. They're not just for the obsessionwiththe 'despondentIrishyouthdoing little menu and CD-generate-. \ grer-.t), forges ahead with And The News. Fans of a heavier brand of sounds can muzak!), but whether: i replied Neil. culture vultures either. Both try to appeal to young or nothing to help themselves or the country1looks set get their denim and leather out for Magnum and Tro i nuiklkv: ‘ msjor social and However despite this nasty accident, rumour has it people, and generally manage it, but best of all they to boom. is more than cosmetic j musical The build- both have very good youth theatres where you can do jan, who appear in January. surgery, designed to o <> that Derek had forseen losing his manhood, and with As the popularity of Premier Garret FitzGerald A much awaited announcement is the line-up of acts 1 ing has t. • l ■:& opening the aid of modern technology transplants or sperm it for yourself. diminishes daily, (both with the electorate and his own the place a higher pr data of 8 1987 and to appear at Ireland's premier rock festival in Slane vil remains to be seen banks cannot be ruled out at this moment. So we may It could lead somewhere. Cathy Tyson, star of the party members), and the present balance of power held lage next year. There’s tremendous speculation sur notably not have heard the last of the Big M in Merseyside. film Mona Lisa, started at the Everyman Youth Theatre, by the Fine Gael/Labour coalition is just one seat, the Nevertheless, the NA .. agazine On the film front there's rumours about a multi as did several of the Brookside cast. rounding the line-up. with hints that David Bowie, Dire always worth a visit. €;<■ Irish people are assured of an election during the next Straits or The Rolling Stones could headline. The one detected screen cinema complex near the newly transformed Liverpool’s contribution to our small screens covers Forthcoming NAC e- . i : couple of months. It could take place in January. A day event should draw 85,000 people; an offical • o :• -*;.o -.ctivity: Albert Dock. Glenda Jackson is also in town working comedy and drama as well as soap, of course. And then include the New Port Nca ... change of government, in favour of Fianna Fail and their announcement of the line-up is expected in late i 'ast Ang- on Business As Usual (directed by Lezli Ann Barrett), there's the big screen too: Letter To Brezhnev took the leader Charles Haughey, looks imminent. January. Photography exhibitic . m;r. • »*o v.veredby so have those Equity cards at the ready. film world by storm last year. Its Scouse star, Margi - 23 December) featuring Just as certain and casting a dark shadow over the Cinema-wise, there are very few new releases i expansion and Oh, and here's the main item of this report — A-Ha Clarke, claimed at the time that' everyone in Liverpool country is the daunting fact that a new government will top photographers cover . ad communications. has a film script in their back pocket', expected in December, although there will be a large ing the spectrum from are sold out. bring along a new budget. Most likely to be hit are the number of titles left over from the Dublin Film festival 1 o got a proper perspec- That's it for now. NEIL HUGHES A lot of people would like to think they have. It's not usual necessities—drink, cigarettes, petrol (for which which finished in November. Vogue to I-D, while News i ; ive however, you need to always a good thing: there’s a lot of what playwright we are already paying £3 per gallon), and of course a Review (6 December) are a set this swell oi optimism GOOD or bad, there’s always something happening in Willy Russell calls 'art in the head' around. By the first bells of 87. or even at the end of January, quick fire satirical com hype of the taxes on such items as records and concert Ireland will know who’s to govern them for the next four against the steady decline Liverpool. Liverpool people do tend to be wits, half-wits or pre tickets. pany. Celebrate (or obliter in job prospects. A quick Every year we have an annual crisis, or three. For the tentious prats. That’s one thing that the TV comedy years. There again, maybe they won't. Either way. it’s ate)the approach ofChrist Apparently the Government are under the impres not going to bother most youngsters, for Ireland has a look at the city’s graffiti last few years, there’s been the 'budget crisis' (where’s Help got right. But at least nobody has the monopoly sion that it’s the young people of the country who have very low vote count with under 25-year-olds. mas at one — or both — of says it all: I spotted a pave the Council going to get money from?), and since the on doing things. Willy Russell started work as a hair all the wealth. A sobering thought, considering the the NAC parties (19, 20 ment drawing entitled dresser and got into theatre via folk singing. Theatre, The silly season will come and go, the climate will December). abolition of Merseyside County Council there's been that wo P*y *or a P^t of beer today will prob remain cold, the bars, price increases and all, will Something To Brighten Up the 'funding crisis' (where are the theatres going to get music and the rest belong in the same world here, and ably rise just when the holiday season is coming along. remain fvdl and the mood for the best part will be as NAC also provides local Your Day while nearby money from?). Then there’s the football season, let whether it's writers' groups, Youth Theatre, a Mersey On the entertainment front, December and January jovial as any other bleak winter. We’ve grown well used bands with an accessible daubed on a wall was' Bus alone The Beatles' Convention. TV training scheme, or a band, the possibilities are all are no different to any other years... empty. With only to them. venue. Newcomers — like kers demand double money Since the days of punk, Liverpool has had plenty of there. two sizeable theatres in Dublin, the choice of entertain Dig Those Heels, Giant and on Saturday. Pay up or else’. JOHN O’CONNER rehearsal and recording studios, radio programmes, PENNY KILEY Browning Version — look I A sign of the times: one set to join established unwilling to stand and names like Gee Mr Tracy on wait, the other content to Communards. The the recently reopened the crowd. NEWCASTLE-UNDER-LYME ter (Hanley Victoria Hall, 22 back the place abounded the Norwich music scene. be walked over. The writ EDINBURGH Cameo and the Filmhouse The city is positively December). Wide-eyed and sometimes ing is on the wall (or on the Psychedelic Furs appear with Fribbs (nee Hippies) there on 16 December. (which may host a Guar overrun with restaurants The town has a friendly from the University Of pavement). Gee Mr Tracey— Brick Smith The Edinburgh club dian Lecture with director and pubs, and The Athletic atmosphere, best Keele, but sadly Keele is PAUL CARPENTER Martin Scorsese early in Arms (‘The Diggers') appreciated on its market Learning scene is ever-changing, but now full of very conserva of the more established the New Year). serves the best pint in the Stoking up days (Monday. Friday and tive foreign and business Current mainstream world. With the admirably locations, The Hoochie Saturday). A few years students. The few latter theatricalofferings are less Coochie Club continues as relaxed and liberal licens day Fribbs that do exist a fling a hip champion of alterna than edifying (a Cinderella ing laws even if you are at a have been re-named 'Smel- tive, non-pop rock music. panto and a live version of loose end it's possible to the Smellies lies’ and they mingle with The club features new and The Muppet Show\), but drown your sorrows at vir the mish-mash of fashiona- or two exciting live bands on Fri there are innovative and tually any time of the day or me-adolescent-peer influential theatrical estab night. NIGHTLIFE doesn't Radio Stoke s days. Fire Island is the abound in Newcastle— groups who adopt various EDINBURGH comes alive city’s largest and liveliest lishments such as the ALLAN B HUNTER Under—Lyme Most of the Mark Stewart poses around the town. every August for the Inter gay venue, while The Traverse and Theatre hot-spots are to be found Despite the town's con national Festival — a jam Amphitheatre and Zenatec Workshop. Do you want to write for above sewer drams and servative air. there's the boree of theatre, cinema are highly rated straight Edinburgh has good Station To Station? outside chip shops, but if odd hint of innovation and cabaret — but Scot discos. sports facilities with the We welcome contribu you're desperate you can N ewcastie-Under-Lyme land's capital is amply Scots are staunch sup Commonwealth Pool, tions to this section of LM try The Place (which has Cc-ege has just started an endowed with year-round porters of local cinema and Meadowbank Centre and and we ll pay our normal been around for ages), or intriguing course on The although there have been Hillend dry ski slope on the freelance rate: leisure pursuits, trivial or lished articles Shelleys, a relatively new - Beatles, while Radio otherwise. the inevitable closures city outskirts plus a host of and alternative night-spot wtoke's Mark Stewart north of the border the gymnasium centres and a (typed and no longer r The 3,000 seater GOO words please), slv. in Long: on Fuzzbox ar e a highly recom- Playhouse is one of the average Scot will still burgeoning of martial arts having a Christmas Fancy attend the cinema three clubs. On the spectator mention the bust clubs £ n-.e..^h.c- alternative radio largest theatres in the pub: forthe Dress Ball at Shelleys on 2 ♦ * show, Stoxe It Up', on country and is a prime times more often than his side, there's the rugby December. Tuesdays. €pm tc 7pm venue for rock tours, often English counterpart. Edin stadium at Murrayfield while the traditional New Other gig highpoints are ? Compared w-tfc most of the hosting a band's only Scot burgh is fortunate in having your area Senrl your .mu ii Spear Of Daatiny (Hanley tish date. Recent Playhouse not only the Cannon and Year clash between city to Station To Station, LM Victoria Hall. 20 December} \ visitors have included Big Rank chain venues but a football rivals Hearts and s-*dlit by gum* cr**ri Hibs is generally a sobering 47Gravel Hill Ludlow and the return of Gary GUt- * weneedix! Audio Dynamite, UB40, A- number of entorprising £ Ha. Elvis Costello and The independents, including experience for at least half 18 □ LM Jaruarv H6? OAKY MARSH January 1987 LM □ 19 „• No Great Crime (1983): ‘This was my first major wort in Bristol, says , _ Delge, ‘and it got me a lot of work, ft’s outside the Tropic Club—ttoe - manager gave me permission to paint there. The title is setf-expbnafc-- ory.’ | The derelict walls of Bristol are a gallery for the works of graffiti artist ! 3 DEE. He took photographer BEEZER . on a guided tour to look at some of his ; surviving pieces — but many have ! since been wiped out or painted over. KLGE is a graffiti days to use lookouts. Next LET US S. ! artist. He's 21 time he’s caught. Delge years old and he reckons, hell be put away. D lives and works in But he says it's not van- Bristol under the nom-de- dalism. 'I'd prefer to call it ; can of 3 DEE. Delge reckons positive vandalism — he was the first serious graffiti art has had a bad graffiti artist in the country; press, and some kids don’t his first forays into the help by just going round streets with cans of car spraying their names on paint were in 1983. soon the walls, but all I'm doing after the closure oi Bristol's is brightening the place up. famous Dugoui club left the There are worse things city with no real entertain - happe mung.’ ment except for a flourish- Delge mostly uses car mg hip-hop scene. paint lor his murals, but it's Although much of his unreliable, and if he could afford it he’d use Bun Hack. a German an paint which '.and it’s hav- costs around £6 a can. on work But his mam problem at risking a fine or the moment isn't money. Delge says he’s running out of walls. 'I only choose walls which are isolated. Painted surfaces are best— the spraypamt sinks into •I like the brick walls Sometimes I ve With had to paint a wall before being able to spray a mural xt.' Delge is e founder - of the Trans- Atlantic Federation (sk>- by >) W" by an am January 1987 LM □ *1 m O this is what thing about Ian Rush is how best clubs. When English house I live in, the car I happens ‘behind ordinary he is. With his teams were in Europe there drive and all that, but I'm the scenes' at shabby jeans, cheap shirt was always one of them still exactly the same per Anfleld: Kenny and bitten-down nails he which got to the final or son. It is easy to get carried Dalglish, still in cuts a distinctly unimpres won the trophy. The likes of away by succes s but you've hiss muddy kit, is hovering sive figure. Yet he is argu Barcelona and all them, got to remember that outside the dressing room, ably the best footballer in they're not as good as the there's no way you're going where his players are Britain. His blistering pace, English sides, they to be at the top forever, and changing after the morning awesome finishing power shouldn't be able to just if you start getting too big training session. Ronnie and unerring knack for come in and take the best for your boots you’re going Whelan's talking into a sniffing out the slimmest of players away. to come unstuck. radio reporter’s mic goal opportunities have 'I suppose it's because 'And the people here, the rophone and trying not to been vital factors in Liver they’ve got more money, people at work, they just laugh at Bruce Grobbelaar, pool's dominance of but I think something else treat you like a normal per who's pulling stupid faces English and European foot inside our clubs must be son no matter how great behind the reporter’s back. ball in recent years. wrong, the way they do you might think you are — Outside in the reception They have also earned things.' that helps you keep your area Steve Nicol's picking him a three-and-a-half mill After posing for photo feet on the ground. up a few boxes of nappies ion pound move to Juven- from one of the office girls tus and ensured that he'll ('yours are the ones in the be a wealthy man for the orange boxes, the green rest of his days. ones are Kevin Mac It's as good a reason as a It is bad for the game that the best players Donald's’), while Mark any to join British football’s are moving away but it’s inevitable, espe Lawrenson waits on elite-in-exile but not the cially now that English clubs are banned from patiently. Perhaps he's only one, explains Ian as we Europe. picking up his wages—it is walk down the tunnel, past Thursday, and that would the legendary 'This Is explain the massive lorry in Anfleld’ sign and onto the ff the car park. 'hallowed turf. graphs on the pitch, Rushie ‘Everything here is very Finally Ian Rush ambles ‘The main reason I want leads us up to the trophy simple and straightfor along the corridor. He to move to Italy is that I'll be room, a vast treasure trove ward, there’s no secret opens the door of the treat playing with and against lined with glass cases stuf magic formula. Our style of ment room, feels for the the best players in the fed with the rewards of 20 play is based on good, sim switch and plunges the world. Of course, money's a years of consistent success. ple passing. If there's a man casualties into darkness factor, but by no means the Pride of place is given to free you play it to him, not before carrying on, chuck most important one. I've last season's haul: the try and beat five players ling at the shouts of those already proved I can play in Canon League trophy and and then lose the ball. And inside. the English league, we won the FA Cup. the training is basic too. The most remarkable the double last season and On the way up we pass 'Everyone seems to think I’ve achieved everything I Bob Paisley, the manager the training here must be can here. who first signed Rush to very hard and complicated ‘Now I want to prove Liverpool in 1980. He looks but it's the exact opposite. myself against the best in as dozy and miserable as They say ‘we brought you Ian Rush, one of football’s most pro the world. Playing for ever; in fact he's still one of here because we know lific strikers, leaves Liverpool at the Wales I haven't been lucky the sharpest, shrewdest you've got the skill, we enough to play in the World men in the game. can’t coach you, just go and end of this season for a three-year, Cup or the European Cham 'When Liverpool first do it yourselves'. In training three-and-a-half-million-pound con pionship, and I need that wanted me,' recalls Rush, we just do basic exercises bigger challenge.' 'I turned down the move and play five-a-side; we tract with Juventus of Turin. But as The defection of Britain's because I didn't think I'd be don't even practise free kicks or anything. I think RICHARD LOWE discovered, the self- best footballers, lured to good enough to make it at the continent by the rich such a big club. And when that’s the key to Liverpool’s effacing Welshman seems untouched European giants, is a wor I eventually did come I success really, that simplic by wealth and fame, on the field and rying problem for the hated it here. But I got my ity.' British game. Of course the in his recent autobiography. huge transfer fees soften Picture by DAVID CHADWICK. the blow for the clubs' directors, and for the My lifestyle may have changed dramatically players a million smackers a over the last few years, but I’m still exactly in three years is a pretty effective cure for homesick the same person. ness. Inevitably it's the fans, deprived of the ff game's brightest attrac Outside in the car park, tions, who suffer the real first game in the first team after about six months and Ian Rush stops to sign loss. Rush agrees that it's a autographs for the waiting problem, and one that looks it didn’t take me long after that to get established. gaggle of fans before likely to escalate. speeding off in his sleek •Obviously it is bad for 'Obviously coming to a place like Liverpool from black Porsche. On the bus the game here that the best on the way home I come players are moving away Chester was very hard at first, but you’ve just got to across this great passage in mm but it's inevitable, espe his autobiography (Rush, cially now that English forget about the fact that it’s a huge crowd and a big published in paperback by clubs are banned from Grantham, £2.60)... Europe. I think that’s the club and just concentrate on getting in the team and ■ Saturday night was the big main reason — all the best night out. We'd have a few players want to be playing playing well. And I think it'll be just as hard to adjust quid in our pockets, my in European competition mates and I, and we'd blow and they should be. It is when I go to Italy. The thing about Liverpool is that it's it on a good drink—and, as ridiculous, though. often as not. a good fight to ‘Clubs like Liverpool and such a down-to-earth club. ■My lifestyle may have end the night I’. Man United shouldn't be Even millionaire sporting selling off their best players changed dramatically over the last few years in terms superstars are just like the — they should be buying rest of us really. them, because they are the of money, the size of the January 1987 L.IMI ° 23 22 O L.M ja*jy>1967 (HMSS9R l#i—r/j .7 fF-.il—! I L to be replaced by some line- the other bands that are toeing middle-aged guy getting lumped into all that who's not going to do any- stuff. Like we did this Tenth thing for the working class Summer thing in Manches- h & ft people of Liverpool.' ter, which was meant to CRISP SMITH celebrate the tenth A staunch Mancunian and a man with such songs anniversary of punk and as The North Will Rise there were bands like us, standard of living than we Again and Lucifer Over New Order, The Smiths, RICHARD LOWE — our man in Lon- do, but that standardisa- Lancashire in his reper- OMD, The Virgin Prunes— don with a tape recorder and a portion tion of life is a danger toire, Smith nevertheless none of those bands have Everybody wears brown refutes the suggestion that been going ten years, it was of chips—tracks the rise of THE FALL pants and everybody wears he’s one of that mostirritat- all a bit soft. It was a nice ** 1 ' and captures some of the latest check shirts. That’s why I ing of breeds — the Profes- day though. don’t agree with socialist sional Northerner. ‘People go on about it all nuggets in that ever-expanding vol views. I don’t think turning ‘I’m always accused of now, but no-one cared ume of work, The Thoughts Of Chair- Britain into East Germany that, but it’s just not true, about us or gave us a hand is going to solve anything; it’s just something that’s when we were starting man Mark. Photographs by BEEZER. it’ll just make things worse been tagged on me over the out; The Buzzcocks helped ‘ And those bands that go years. I don’t dislike people us out a real lot in them ARK E SMITH they’re twats — there’s on about socialism, those whccome from the south. days but they’re the only is a happy man. two parts to the song, one Red Wedge people, they It’s terrible to say things ones who did. I must admit His group The on each side of the LP, but I’m more into all those Fall's last really I could have written groups now than I was fwffl single, MrPhar- about nine different songs then, especially Sham 69— Have you ever been behind the Iron Cur I saw them on the telly ||s rnocist, was on that subject. I suppose it is an odd title; it’s an Ameri tain? It shits you up. Everybody wears again and they were great, p ubh Iff "i V’! most suc~ ii pure vaudeville, like a com rful ever. can football term and I can’t brown pants and everybody wears check stand American football. edy act or something. But it got to 76 , -j charts. shirts. That's why I don't agree with I’m not into all that glorify- Thei: • ign ■ v \reer had It’s so boring and compli- ing of the past. I’m more hardly be. ggering cated — like a sort of socialist views. interested in the present.' comm err; "vs. but moronic chess. The present for The Fall The Fail.' . ;.aged to ' Terry Waite Sez isn’t is a tour of Britain and dconsis- about the Terry Waite, don’t really know anything like that; all that northern mainiaina about politics — they don't thing is getting very tire- America (’we’re treated tent audio • . heir although I do dislike him more like demagogues over intensely; we were in this know anything about his- some. peculiar b 'ock ’n’ tory or ‘ owt and I think they ‘I thought what Edwina there, it’s like doing a lec rant must pub in Stockport and there ture tour or something’), was this drunk there called do more harm than good. Currie said about norther- ‘Wsu.v, •' -igeto And the way I see it, it’s ners was outrageous, and then this month a sell abou‘ ; '.\0D copies Terry Waite and I noted new single, as yet untitled, down all the things he was dangerous because next though. I mean just look at ofeachree xi. says.‘We year it could be the Nazi all these Londoners; which will coincide with, jj-! V J j do all right - .snot saying and used them for they're knackered, aren’t and be based on. a play, the song. party and they wouldn't \ exactly in Royces yet, know any different.' they? The water's shit and written and performed by \ but we mek6 a decent liv- * US Eighties And The Fall themselves. Nineties is about America The Fall, however are not they live in horrible over averse to playing the odd crowded conditions. It’s ‘The single will be the Indeed, The Fall's latest and how it’s changed over same title as the play, and the years. When I’ve been benefit. They recently hilarious. And if you go to LP Bend Siruscer entered played an anti-apartheid Newcastle they’re all so it's all about Pope John Paul the charts at. a respectable there before it was the free- I, the one who died after est place I’d ever been to in gig at the Albert Hall with revoltingly healthy it 34 at the time of writing, The Smiths and even makes you sick, — they about 30 days. I wrote the and it's this august body of my life, but the last few play and we'll all be acting times I’ve been it’s been a played at a benefit for all go running and work that Mark is here to Derek Hatton's legal battle everything.’ in it. It's based on this book discuss, particularly some very oppressed place — as I read about him which bad as Russia or some- fund. With 87 just round the of the more curious song ‘ We insisted on being comer, the media are get- reckoned there was a con- 1 titles such as Shoulder where. ting starry-eyed and nostal spiracy to murder him 'Have you ever been paid for that. We're not involving all these Italian Pads, Terry Waite Sez and tramps, we're working gic about the 'heady days US Eighties And Nineties. behind the Iron Curtain? It of punk rock'. Smith (a bit of fascist guys and this bishop shits you up. I've been to class people doing a job, so from Chicago. Apparently ‘ Shoulder Pads is just why shouldn't we be paid a legendary punk veteran), about a lot of different East Germany and Yugos has an interesting view- the night before he died lavia — horrible places. I for it? I'm not a socialist but he'dmade thislist ofpeople I think it’s wrong the way point. suppose they have a better 'All this punk retrospec he wanted to get rid of in that guy was persecuted, the Vatican. It's all conten- especially by the Labour tive stuff is just a media TUE NEXT '{BKK WHflTS THE hype — The Fall haven't tion of course, no-one really Party, and he's only going knows if it’s true or not. TTUC.K ? been going for 10 years for THE OF a start, and nor have a lot of Things like that fascinate me.' Doubt if it’ll make number one in Italy though. Under The Sea and is often CURTIS HUTCHINSON drops his cited as an early influence spanner and feeler gauges to take a by Steven Spielberg and George Lucas. giant leap for LM on the moon set of Harrison’s pedigree is no SUPERMAN IV. During his lunar walk he less distinguished than his father's. After collaborating meets up with special visual effects with Dad on Walt Disney’s maestro Harrison Ellenshaw. SF spectacular The Black Hole, Harrison quickly established himself as an FX whiz-kid on Star Wars. HRISTOPHER ‘I wanted to get the old The Empire Strikes Back, REEVE points to enthusiasm back, and to do TheMan Who Fell To Earth, a crater. that I had to have some con- Tron and, more recently, scratches his trol, ’ explains Reeve. At his Michael Jackson's 3-D mini- head, and paces insistence. Superman now epic, Captain Eo And The up arid down. Something’s confronts real contempor- Space Knights. not quite right. A set ary issues, even if it does We spoke amid the hustle decorator is despatched mean the superhero break- and bustle of a very busy with a wheelbarrow and ing his mandate of non moon set at Cannon’s brush to add some finishing interference. Elstree Studios. Harrison touches to the offending ‘It’s obvious, ’ Reeve says, started by outlining his dip. ’many people are looking responsibilities behind the Reeve confers with direc- for a super someone who scenes on Superman IVand tor Sidney J Furie about the can really change things. explaining the difference scene they're preparing to While staying within the between visual effects and shoot. Krypton's most fam- framework of a fantasy film special effects. ous son has just whizzed we’re trying to bring Super- Tm supposed to bo in through outer space to aid man a little closer to the real charge of visual effects, a stricken Soviet spaceship, world.’ which is a little different and now the man of steel is Instead of putting the from special effects,' he enjoying a self-congratulat- man in the red trunks says. 'Special effects usu- ory break on the moon through identical paint-by- ally refer to large-scale before heading back Earth- number scenarios, the physical effects like explo wards. series is generic, and this sions and, with this particu- The scene is set for one of probably explains the great lar movie, putting a man on Superman IVs most spec- audience fascination with wires and flying him tacular fight sequences, a the Superman movies. Each through the set. lunar-based flying battle instalment promises a ’On the other hand, vis- between our caped hero further glimpse into the ual effects generally refer to and his new nemesis, Nuc- Superman psyche, which is things that are handled in lear Man. great if you're interested in post-production. For exam- Like Sean Connery, Chris- the character on a human pie if we put Chris Reeve on topher Reeve has learned to level. Much more fun. wire you actually see the never say never again. Hav- though, is the guarantee of wire through the camera. ing said enough was the latest in hi-tech SFX. Somebody in visual effects enough after the third Unlike Rambo, James will get rid of it later. If we Superman film in 1983, Bond and Indiana Jones, shoot a very long shot Reeve has been flexing his Saperman can do the where we see this set,' he wings a little, most notably impossible and it’s up to says, gesturing toward the on the London stage, people like Harrison Ellen- lunar landscape before us, though his film work has shaw, the Visual Special ‘we also see things off the been disappointing. (His Effects Co-Ordinator on set. We then have to add a last movie, The Navigator, this movie, to make the matte painting that looks wasn’t even released over impossible look possible. like the rest of the moon. here). So why the volte- It's quite likely that this Anytime you combine two face? affable American was born pieces of film then it's a vis- Apparently the tempta to be an FX man. His father ual effect. tion was too great after he was the near-legendary ‘The terms 'visual' and was assured that he could Peter Ellenshaw, the man 'special' effects get mixed have some creative control who handled the effects on and matched around, but I of the project. And perhaps Black Narcissus, won an try to keep them separate.' the money was too good to j Oscar for his pioneering This is all getting a bit refuse. work on 20,000 Leagues technical, isn't it? What are t> January 1987 L.M n 27 T & . matte paintings? V 'You're talking about a appreciate what tremend out goes Chris. To shoot \ : 'Matte shots refer to great number of techni ous work and research and DAILY paintings that are some this anywhere else using a cians and all sorts of people development went into the times done on glass. different crew would be who worked on the first first one. We have people like re-inventing the * THERE may be nothing They’re supposed to be so V I three, and the excitement like Bob Hartman whose wheel.' particularly smart about a photographically real that y- : on the first day that Chris speciality is flying rigs. He Surprisingly, Harrison ; v guy who wears his knickers you can match them with flew, it was so effortless. It's outside of his trousers, but some live action and some knows exactly where to put I hasn't worked up any new The never that Superman is very diffe- only then that you can nevertheless Superman the crane and VOOOOM!, I optical tricks for this movie. rent in this respect from full-size set or location and has been thrilling an audi they appear to be the same 'We're really doing some 1? most of his super-peers; I conventional things, the dif ence of millions for almost they are private people thing, * explains Harrison. fifty years. ‘ Theoretically you don't see ference is the choices you A ending story who put on a secret iden- make,’ he says. 'This is the Superman first appeared tity, whereas Superman the join.' in the late Thirties, but he'd A good example of this first Superman movie I've Since his first! is appearance, puts on Clark Kent to dis- 'I worked on, whereas other been in preparation for guise himself Here, Siegel comes in the climactic thousands of years; his Superman has ;ed us in .■ scene in The Empire Strikes people on the show have and Schuster really scored. worked on all three, so my 'L.;' ancestors were the Greek our times of need. :an, creating a hero for the ; Back where Darth Vader \; and Nordic heroes and gods : and Luke Skywalker are choices of how to do some m dreamer in everyone. shotsmaybe differentfrom of mythology. His creator •hone suggesting that our drab, •j battling it out with light- previous choices. That's the Jerry Siegel, who wrote the the myth. everyday lives are the fan- sabres on a catwalk prot i H strip (Joe Schuster drew it), ruding over an apparently difference.' tasy. No wonder Superman I •1- acknowledged The Man Of grew Little in the bottomless chamber. Harrison studied the * has been a Super-Success, mzmm Steel's pedigree when he strips i latively wayofsup«-man-powerto Beneath the duellists is, in other Superman movies was beginning to thinkmat And now, in America m rrifiirtR * .- i : described him as' a charac down-' Ji, but as time wund fact, one of Harrison's intri before starting work on this I wouldn't; do anything»Sff - nsiiiin eath those Superman is at the foref- ter like Samson, Hercules went h eemingly super-tight tights. The cate matte paintings. project. on a Lucas film, so it waSB? ront of another comic book and all the strong men I develo uper-hot/cold potential for super-power- Harrison also works on 'I've seen them kinda pleasant surprise.’ • ■i-vM renaissance. After the For- ever heard tell of rolled into breath and X-ray vision, to . -fjjl, super-extended Superman’s flying shots subliminally many times As a leading FX man, M ’ ties/early Fifties boom, tismNS!* one'. name bur%giga-joule or ""H orgasms ^denied. there was a second in the once they're in the can. For over in bits and pieces.’ he rison is often asked how*« Superman wasn't the two of his rers. Reacting to public belief mid-Sixties. The older this movie he's using a new says. ‘I have an eight-year- get into the movie speciall 4 . j. first comic strip superhero Similarly.TOe earlier that comics were corrupt- heroesweredusted offand i approach. old son who is a big Super- effects business. He admit! — in 1936 Lee Falk's The stories deal with events theyouth ofthenation, 'On the first three Super man fan and he’s seen them it’s becoming more and . J some (not Superman) were ; Phantom had offered a almost domestic in com major American pub- man films they utilised many more times than I more difficult, . given sexier lives — an foretaste of invincible der parison with tales of the Fif ars banded together front projection,’ he says. have. He knows all there is ‘At one time — befor«H* interest awakened by the Si mm ring-do — but Siegel and ties and onwards. But formed.the Comics ; ‘They projected the plate to know about them.' Star Wars — it was quitw proliferation of the so-cal- Schuster had spent five super-good heroes require CodeAuth< inthe early behind him. With this film Harrison comes to Super easy to get into spetiaflR led 'underground' comics years struggling to get super-baddies, otherwise Fifties, And i 54 a we've chosen to use blue man IV fresh from the effects.Nowadays thef^Bre <(•1 that revelled in politics. Superman into print before Newton’s layis of opposite psychiatrist, D jederick screen for our optical com satire and the new permis S they finally persuaded and equal reactions get Wertham, publis posites. With a blue screen siveness (Fritz The Cat Action Comics to give him a badly upset; and later Seduction of the rent, you put somebody in front comes from this era). It 1: go in June 1938. stories begin to deal almost claiming that rea seemed to coincide with of a blue piece of material You can do most effects on 8rm..,_ kSSHKA/UScet'. . a*m®mpvie -r- At the time, comics were exclusively .with the ics was leading'-toan he Vietnam war, and when and you're able, optically, to generally presented as col and thatfs the way to get startedsM as a ■ wicked designs of Lex increase^inqtlvenile delin- t ended in fiasco, so did eliminate the blue in the lections of different strips, LuthoffBrainiac and_their___ .quency. scene and replace it with a Become more experienced and thenw m want comics boom. or only appeared in news kind He accused Batman erman struggled on background. This is a bit rake that experience to a producer or* 8fS§U§$$ure papers, never as books J The baddies are vital in Robin of bein< tricky with Superman through the Seven- film company that's doing some|§ {W caih'k^^^^shots.It devoted to a single charac-; /another respect: like any lov gh, pushed into a because he's mostly dres ter. But at Action Comics, '*'] hero. Superman has his - ' le end cis. me ansi cab shoot in Vistavi- 1 nence by the sed in blue. You have to be scepticism about turned / Achilles ’ heel. Kryptonite is. ofrepla very careful that his legs cv; sion instead of a normal s, and he’s overnight into delight'-Hr /a rock-material formed by religious be his and arms don't disappear. 35mm, whibh helps me gain as a the world was waiting to be t the explosion of Super miraculous powers. There It can be done with re JJ • enormously, That way I leader of the saved. Editions doubled man’s home planet Kryp were illustr ‘ of comic- touching. which is called have all the material in the and trebled in sales, and in ton, and, as ev lat is now rotoscoping, when best possible shape to work 1939 Superman made it asi knows, green kr required.' on. If you know the intent of ica. SSSS- gpnafir a newspaper strip as well * the only substan re impres- Superman IV might be the shot then you know Superheroes were popu-l kill Sup whattodowiththeeffect.’ ferent breaking new ground (it’s lar among the soldiers andf his super-powe takes a epicted violence the first Superman from Harrison’s post-produc this year fliers ofWorldkjtor Two and super-villain,h to real violence. (Wh irculation Cannon Films, and the first tion cutting, splicing and they prolifeH^H, adomin use this knowli think today in the series not to be shot painting will take him well . Comics are SESSSS* gttawfsa? fighter planeJPnd bom- r tively. pular- at Pinewood). but Harrison into the New Year while the bers. Their^opularity was Red kryptonil points out that the new pro producers decide whether the Fif- tively pllSXithT Set bits and pieces of such that comic book sales invented in the und, ducers have taken great to go for a summer or Christ soaredas highas 15 million while it doesn't though. We had 150 FX “formation and if you try perm an has plains to reassemble the mas release. each month'. It was easy to man,itcanalterhis shots and that's a bia doing your own effects anginal principal cast mem So what’s the show stop see the superheroes as the and personality to bers number for a mini-fiffn ’ mo« nflntha* 7011 040 d° per? Allied forces, and the grow extraordinary ^The amount of effcS'pui ^ f m m a simpler Gene Hackman makes a Harrison smiles, but ing league of super-vill ains can, as in welcome return as bumbl remains fairly tight-lipped. as the Nazi rotters. m,s ing villain Lex Luthor. Mar Often simple is better. ‘Well,’ he says, pausing iotas it sound like it might And of the superheroes, goodie. ry-guy-model face. got Kidder is Lois Lane, You can do most effects on to choose his words care been a proper movie, none was as super-power- ’k* Kent's life has been Marc McLure is back as xeah, Harrison nods. 'It 8mm and that’s the way to fully,'Superman has a fight get started. Become more jful as Superman, and none :6ned uptoo. Like any | faithful photographer Jim with Nuclear Man that goes Was quite as financially Olsen and Jackie Cooper experienced and then take good ol* media Yuppie, around the world. They go successful on the news ! continues as the long-suf- that experience to a pro- Clark attends flashy Met to a lot of places and it stands. With the'war over, . f®nng editor of the Daily ducer or film company ropolis parties, writes a a tittle bit of a relief.' should be relatively spec interest in super-wish- 7 Planet The film crew is that's doing some effects. If tacular.' or two and exter- Tjhough Captam Eo was fulfilment waned, yet is—canwe talkabout * mostly Bnush you can just do one little Relatively spectacular? Superman continued sav the comics; on ceuulo i? — with Lois Lane. i 1 We re continuing the thing, it's better than the Surely we can look forward Man Of Steel actually gets e tradition of the first three basic III do anything to ing the world almost [he hero has been to some incredible fighting I to bed with Lois scenes? unabated. ated for the Eighties * which were shot here in Bn- From the moment of his he super-myth con- l * s«y« Hamson ‘It J* There's a lot of kids who 'I hope so. Can't promise creation. Superman rapidly i would have been foolish to / ate willing to do anything. too much, otherwise the r have made the fourth one _ but there aren't many who level of expectations will be too big £ somewhere else, that's « Tw done some » something along the lines JJ?** would you like to se« A mischievous glint 4 of Don't fix it if it's not hro- *t? Which means that you twinkles in his eye. O ken' c^° have a look at a video of 'You'll just have to wait.' 28 L.IVI Jjnuah f987 SSSSKSS, J*h?t they've done and January 1987 LM □ 29 ^•thaps decide to take the t . : you standing on the pave- Thursday features Gaz's ment for hours while they Rockin’ Blues, run by Gaz * debate whether or not Mayall with his inimitable : you're the right sort style of R & B. ska, Dr@ii to kill My advice to those seek rocksteady and anything ing a comfortable up-mar- else that takes his fancy, ■a’ ket club to entertain that plus a parade of the special friend is to try the nation's more interesting j more intimate surround bands. On Fridays I take ?IE 'I ! ings of Laceys in St Martin’s Gossips’reputation on and Lane (opposite Stnngfel- myself at Fools Paradise, lows), or the equally plush the major upfront soul but relaxed Gullivers in night in the West End. Mayfair, the capital's most With the honourable up-market soul venue. expection of Gossips, week BOY Moving north of central night raving is a bit of a hit hold your nose London, The Town And and miss affair. The solid Country Club in Kentish soul night out at Maximus Town features some of the on a Wednesday is usually best live bands on the cir bubbling as is the Wag- Ardent clubber and deejay SIMON GOFFE cuit. On Fridays (after the Club around the corrier in bands have finished), the Wardour Street. Reckphed presents a quick guide to cavernous former cinema by many to be the trerralest | London’s crucial night spots also plays host to the of the lot, The Wag Is Locomotion, a friendly club and vaguely depress! fronted by Capital Radio with a multitude of a ,s IN London you can find hip-hop and go-go in a get in, and nearly as much deejay and ex-Boothill covering the walls o£)fSaKKro r Cr . every possible nightclub sweltering mixture that fits togetadnnk. You’ll gasp at Foot-Tapper Wendy May. floors. Initially famoy* - * * * . . that the twisted mind can easily into the surround the whirling lightshow and Wendy spins her own mix the Swinging Sixties. imagine The Wild Zone. ings of a large seedy dan- feel embarrassed about of dance music from the last j Whiskey-A-Go-Go. it* * « * * H „ v *>V Big TV, Theatre Of The * «, cehall. reminiscent of a having one spot too many, 30 years, heavy on the “ > V ht •... “ !. % essential stop for amfl *? * ¥ Third Dimension. The Pur Wild West saloon, complete or at having bought your Motown era. ter visiting London. ¥ V * ^ ple Pit. Locomotion. Pigeon * ; with ancient cartoons clothes at Coles or Chelsea Moving back to South Other clubs worth p 41 Toed Orange Peel :: *; showing on the walls Girl rather than a Covent London and on to Saturday, sidering are Heaven (t suggestive names indeed, v % V\l Moving north to the West Garden designer boutique. you’ll find the the hippest gay man’s meccaunde L but what lies behind them7 ' I *>! End. Soul Station at Whis That, though, is one of the club outside the West End arches at Charing CrosIB; Let's start south of the pers in Charing Cross Road irresistible drawbacks of is The Dance Exchange at and the suburban soul Thames The Flim-Flam is defies its name by playing London nightlife. The Fridge in Bnxton. an oasis in the South Lon clubs like Oasis, Dougiesv hardcore jazz Small and The same problems Leading record spinner, and La Plaza which are | don nightlife desert Pre sweaty, this trendy club is appear at the West End's music writer and record senting a complete mixture geared for dedicated dan/ reasonably priced and two other major snobholes. company boss Jay cers. of dance music, it's fairly bubbling Stringfellows houses the Strongman lays down a When clubbingit, alw$ cheap to get in and there s Down the road you can't rs ultimate in-crowd, while heavy-weight beat bring take plenty of money vl reduced admission for the mistake the glitter and the the latest addition to the ing together Washington you, dress to kill but v\S_ unemployed Hosted by crowds outside the Hippo Hooray Henry’s diary is the DC go-go. New York hip- comfortable shoes, alters Hob Day and Jonathan drome Full of suburban converted church in Shaf hop. Chicago house music, be polite to the most-Agg f More, African and latm jazz star spotters, it will set you tesbury Avenue called The old R & B and more tradi aggressive bouncers^ tional soul and funk in a beware dress restrictors, cold but packed venue. never ever buy any dnigs in While Brixton is not nor- a club and don't breathe mally associated with tren- through your nose when diness, the multiracial mix you go to the toilet. that characterises today's Oh and hey .be careful It's an old story: booze, drugs and intense personal anguish take club scene is no better out there! expressed than here Wear their toil of a talented young rock star and eventually he goes your Levi 501s Saturday has its the way of Morrison, Hendrix, Joplin et al. But DAVID BOWIE sleazeholes, too. With the has defied convention by staying alive (he’s 40 in January), con- Flim-Flam, Harp Club, 327 recent closure of the tinuing to produce great records, diversifying into a wide range Peoples Club, it’s hard to New Cross Road, SE14 (01 692 4077). find a place to spend all- of acting roles and emerging from the whole experience with night dancing apart from The Fridge, Town HaU his faculties and his irrepressible energy and enthusiasm intact. Parade, Bnxton Hill. SVJ2 the endless private or fee (01-326 5100), As his latest film, Labyrinth, opens in Britain, Bowie shares a paying parties that are the Gossips, 69 Dean Street, specialityof all inner cities carrot Juice with ANNA CRYSTAL and discusses his recent film W1 (01-734 0201), The latest most London roles. Pictures by DAVIES AND STARR. clubs close is 3am Paul Gullivers. 11 Down Street, VJ\ (01-499 0760). Murphy and Steve Hollo Hippodrome, Leicester AVID BOWIE may have been one Tm a health-food nut at the moment, way ooze sleazy jazz up to he says, ordering a light salad of ham and this hour at 325 Euston Square, WC2(01-4374311). of the most influential rock musi- Road, although Gosii Lacey’s, 81 St Martin's cians to emerge in the Seventies, cheese. Tm a mood eater. If I wake up in p* in Lane. WC2 (01-240 8187). Dean Street manages an but despite numerous interviews the middle of the night to work on some extra half hour The Limelight, 136 Shaf D music I'll have some real African coffee to little is known about the man who spent Another basement dub tesbury Avenue. WC1 (01- jump-start my system. I've been known to 434 0572), the best part of that decade hidden Gossips has an unbeatable behind a bedazzling and bewildering go on for nights that way. I don't take any- atmosphere that larger Locomotion, Town & Coun try Club, 9-17 Highgate assortment of masks. thing stronger than that these days.' out* just can’t manage On Bowie's appearance —unlike his coffee Saturday David Rodjgan Road. NWS (01-267 3334). After meeting him at the Colony Club Maximus, 14 Leicester — has certainly mellowed. He now *** ****** £<^c House in downtown Malibu, I'm none the Square. WC2(01 -734 4111)- wiser, though Bowie was able to shed favours tailor-made suits and expensive “th* COum*Y. While on 325 Club, 325 Euston Road. AJic« In Wonder- some useful light on his recent film career. shirts and ties, his hair is short and blond, NWl The Wag Club. 35 his mis-matched eyes are no longer high- Wardour Street, W1 (01-437 He also shed some light — and a few ^ometorCnartopp*,iDf& pounds — on his current diet. lighted with mascara and his ghost-like l "* Medics -r,d the*, 6534), t> psvchedeucfoLowe's Whi*p«rs, 146 Charing January 1987 1.M □ 31 Cross Road WC2 1 pallor has been traded in for an all-year- then it zapped you, ’ he adds, snapping his round tan. fingers to emphasise the point. ‘I knew I had to get my crap together,' So what sort of films does he like? he says simply. ‘In this business, to sur 'I like a good performance. I take my son x THE GOBLIN vive is success, and to survive you must CRACKED AtSTOR to all the Spielberg films, he's the storytel stay on top of your mental and physical ler of the century. In LA I go to Filmex, I’m ■ health. I believe they’re integral parts of always interested in what’s going on in each other. Separate, yet one.’ 1 J/VHO FELL other countries. Germany, for instance... The vast bulk of David Bowie’s thes- He picks up a fork and tucks straight great acting, but no film industry. As for pian activities has gone unseen by his room floor that I’ll give a into Julien Temple's Absolute Beginners. Bowie-related prize to the r performers, Elizabeth Taylor has always British followers. But this doesn’t ‘It was a real disappointment, ’ he says, first person who can pro been my favourite for as long as I can TO EARTH duce positive identification reflect a lack of interest in The Thin recalling his role as Vendice Partners. Td remember’. i & DAVID CURRIE reviews of the elusive scene. been led to believe that it was going to be White One’s aspirations to screen To all intents and pur Bowie fiddles with a ring on his right- Bowie’s misadventure a new approach to film-making, visually hand index finger, lights up and slowly stardom; it’s simply that Britain’s film poses The Man Who Fell To exploring the limitations of film, like the exhales a long shaft of smoke. He still in Wonderland distributors move in mysterious Earth was Bowie's feature- sets that were oversized and houses with & film debut. Judging by ! looks very much a child, despite the orde ways. And now that most Bowie Bowie’s subsequent no front. Well, it sounded great — but I als of the last two decades. DAVID BOWIE used to something beyond the limi- movies are available on video, CUR remarks on his physical and was disappointed.' Of course there were family problems, reject film roles which cal- tations of The Muppets in TIS HUTCHINSON can hit the pause mental state during pro Wasn’t he happy with his contribution, but ultimately there was Ziggy Stardust, led upon him to animate the form of an homage to duction, his zombie-like guitar strumming aliens. traditional childrens' tales, button and look in on a celluloid then? the self-destructive alien rock star who performance as the spaced- 'I liked the title song and the That's **' ^ His curious,3|£§jting afe an all-round mystical family career... out, marooned alien mutated into the dangerously disturbed <■> V: entertainment — a Wizard Motivation number. I was disappointed 5 required little or no acting. Aladdin Sane, only to resurface a couple OfOz for the Eighties if you But even so the casting that some of my best dialogue, in fact of albums later as the jackbooted Thin 'Si like. Less laudable though The Image (1969) was ideal. A surprisingly some of my best work, was cut out. Scenes White Duke. etltthgof is Bowie’s bizarre bid to UNLIKE just about every uncharismatic, blank-faced become an all-round family other pop star who’s ven Directed by Michael with Lionel Blair where they’re arguing In his attempt to challenge the expecta Armstrong Bowie drifts through the entertainer. I find it difficult tured into acting, Bowie proceedings, flashes his about music and finally my character tions of his audience, Bowie single-hand has rarely played safe, and NME thumps him one — it’s all on the cutting to imagine what benefits artificial willy (the newt- edly introduced theatre into rock. The David Bowie considers to his choice of projects has like beings from his stric room floor. been eclectic. While this is A genuine Bowie oddity. price was high: in 1975 he had come close be gained from accepting This 14-minute X-certifi- ken planet appear to be ‘I don’t feel at all bitter. I can be self-crit such a throwaway role. all very laudable his film neutered), gets laid, gets to ODing three times in one week and was performances have, by and cate short features a 20- ical when necessary. You’ll be seeing me so exhausted that he had to be helped Labyrinth’s main failing year-old Bowie as the drunk and watches TV — lies with Henson's inability large, confused and disap all the healthy pursuits of choose my projects a lot more carefully from the stage at the end of a perfor pointed more often than doomed subject of a crazed next time. The main problem is you can to inject any pacing. The an Earthbound slob. mance. His weight had plummeted to race is on, the stakes are impressed or entertained. painter. Shot in black and never tell how the final film will look.’ eight-and-a-half stone, and by the But Bowie’s theatre and white, the film consists high, but judging by the largely of Bowie standing Bowie flicks a glowing ember off the tip Eighties Bowie looked set to become way the story progresses it TV work has been more encouraging; his best silently at a rain-splattered Just A Gigolo : of his cigarette, and turns to Labyrinth, another rock’n’roll suicide, a man terrified means little more to all involved than a brisk walk notices have come for his window. (1978) Jim Henson's epic creature-feature which to be himself. extraordinary portrayal of Sounds dull, eh? Well, it has just opened in Britain. So far the film through an admittedly Directed by David Ham He says he went through a ‘complete, John Merrick, the deformed is. mings has received mixed reaction — it was weird theme park. Yes the The Image was made in catastrophic emotional breakdown’ at the tomanhood sets and costumes all ‘elephant man' of Victorian Channel 5 hardly a box-office smash in the Slates, tail-end of this period, but against all odds .Utching on to | sparkle with a hefty smat England, in the American 1967 for the arthouse cir stage production of Ber cuit and appeared briefly in but it’s gone down a storm in Japan. he survived. He gave up drugs and moved and story tering of some of the 50 Undoubtedly the low point Bowie — who plays Jareth, the Goblin kilos of glitter used during nard Pomerance's play The 1969, the year of Bowie's of Bowie's flirtation with from LA to Europe, where he settled for a books; je&QUS of her ElephantMan. Where John first hit single, Space king — was attracted to the role as soon parents' affections for her production, but none of it is film. His minimalist while in West Berlin. Here he wrote and convincing apart from the Hurt needed complex Oddity. The film re- approach to acting may as he read the script (written by Terry baby brother, she calls prosthetics to play Merrick emerged over ten years recorded the depressingly gloomy, yet upon a gaggle of goblins to climatic showdown bet have seen him through The Jones of Monty Python fame), and he excellent. Low album. ween Sarah and Jareth in a in the film, Bowie gave an later on a video sold Man Who Fell To Earth — £ £ Toun9 performers ask me spirit him away. What then equally compassionate por through NME; even so, it’s relished the chance to work with his Tiring of life in that divided city, Bowie follows is a race against a hall where every law of ho was after all playing an trayal in nothing more than still something of a collec alien—but in JustA Gigolo friend Jim Henson. ‘It was a learning moved to the peace, tranquillity and san ", how to get started, I always 13-hour clock as Sarah, gravity and architecture experience,’ he says. are flung to the wind. a skimpy loincloth. tor’s item. File under dis his identical interpretation ity of Switzerland, establishing a rapport tell them to go to LA and work taunted and hindered by Next came his equally pensable Sixties paranoia. Surprisingly, it seems that one of Jareth, confronts the chall All these ingredients, of the young Prussian offi with his son Zowie and taking up health every club, bar and whorehouse coupled with the expertise impressive title role as the cer returning from the Bowie’s favourites among his own film enge of a huge, winding amoral, womanising mur food and skiing. to get themselves noticed. ^ p labyrinth populated by of people like Monty Love You Till Tues battlefields of the First performances is his cameo as a knife- He moved into acting on stage, taking Python's Terry Jones as derer in the BBC TV adapta World War is excruciatingly Henson’s biomechanical tion of Bertholt Brecht's day (1969) wielding assassin in John Landis’s com- on the demanding role of John Merrick in creations with the ultimate scriptwriter and George awful and positively painful edy thriller Info The Night. Lucas as Executive Pro Baal; it's regarded as a Directed by Malcolm J to watch. the Broadway production of The Elephant aim to reach Jareth's castle difficult part for any actor to Thompson 'I played a street freak,’ he chuckles. 'I the capital Bowie admits that it’s a and rescue her kidnapped ducer should, in theory, It appears that Bowie did Man for six months. He did so with distinc make for a classic movie of tackle, but Bowie seemed Channel 5 the film as a favour for hang around and moke people nervous. tion; one critic described the ‘restrained difficult place for musicians to get a break. brother. to take it in his stride. actor-tumed-director That was the whole idea o! the film, to It s very hard to get a gig together there, As one would expect the | epic proportion. For all its tortured eloquence’ with which Bowie glitter, goblins and rock These performances, Shot on a shoestring as a TV David Hemmings, but he have this couple (Michelle Pfeiffer and Jeff lathe early days 1 met a waJJ of negativity. effects and wizardry of this along with his masterly showcase but never shouldn't have bothered— portrayed the hideously deformed Mer make-believe world are legend, Labyrinth is ulti screened. Bowie runs Goldblum) on the run and they keep rick. 3. ^dormers ask me how to get mately an extravagant dis lead in Merry Christmas Mr a thought echoed by the flawless and, at times, Lawrence, gave rise to through a selection of his man himself, who later dis bumping into famous people. It's one of Ho also undertook The Serious Moon- suited, I always tell them to go to LA and inspired but the film appointment. some great expectations songs, including an off-key the lew films I’m in that I enjoy watching. David Currie owned the sorry affair as hght Tour which, though musically unad ce°rthAVeryiClUi>' bai aild whorehouse to quickly loses its sense of for Bowie’s acting career. Space Oddity, and performs his ’thirty-two Elvis Presley Acting is very painful, it exposes your vul venturous. get themselves noticed.’ wonderment and instead of But, sadly, they have yet to a twee mime. Fascinating movies rolled into one'. proved to be commercially his ? sympathising with Sarah's nerability.’ most successful yet. So what of the future? be fulfilled. His subsequent stuff. plight you begin to wish her choice of roles has become How did he think his film career was Nowadays Bowie prefers '"°r'dn9 on a video for my next The Man Who Fell progressing? to spend brother would turn into a more and more off-beat; much of his Ume in Britain. , ' * ttunk u vnl1 surprise a lot of hungry goblin and repay Christiane F (1978) * now he’s content with To Earth (1976) i always wanted to shock people with ’London is my base.’ he says, reaching S sounds very Fifties. There are her indiscretions with pointless extended Directed by Nicolas Roeg Directed by Ulrich Edel my versatility,' he says, stubbing out his interest Channel 5 for a glass of carrot juice. ’1 need the « Ztf* SCT,pts whjch I'm reading, but cameos. Screen Entertainment cigarone, and immediately reaching for Amid this computer energy there, you know? There’s a! BovA * TV™*" at the moment.' And more disturbing is another. ‘In Merry Christmas Mr Lawr ways game scenario lurk five Bowie’s latest venture into Okay, okay, I know Bowie Live footage of Bowie per this feeling of anti-desperation there on. “«* f°* carefully uninspiring new Bowie also had a walk-on part in forming tracks from the ence 1 was a straight guy just trying to get the song-and-dance world Heroes album was edited Sometimes I disguise myself and wander compositions which best of family entertainment. Tho Virgin Soldiers (1968), by. I lost a lot of groovy friends by playing *S53£** Centre of “7 universe,' reveal the age of the audi into this moving story around London trying to get Dry roots David Bowie tho all-round but I’ve freeze-framed the that role. Hollywood is such a fickle place. ence this film is tailored for film dozens of times and about a teenage drug back. The early days were such a natural table *in i up to leave the ? entertainer may have ’I loved the mood of The Hunger It lul high for me.’ le very, very young arrived ... but whatever haven't spotted him. In addict, set against the stark led you into a false sense of security — Xing r v * rt *r 6 t *®*P°nsible for my get- Labyrinth is full of good background of West Berlin. Despite his current ShS’ tOSe:her 1 "anted to be there happened to David Bowie fact. I'm so convinced he contentment with intentions, namely Hen the actor? ended up on the cutting- 32 O LM January 1967 don s desue to produce January 1987 L.M □ 33 ABSOLUTELY AT THE BEGINNING ... THE VERY FIRST LM VIDEO COMPETITION ! The Hunger (1983) Yellowbeard (1983) andSpiesLike Us), themain Directedby TonyScott Directed by Mel Damski area of interest is spotting course, Jareth, MGM/UA Rank Labyrinth begins with a the bit players, including unknown film directors and FANTASTIC simple text adventure (but WIN A A slight change of tack The story goes that Bowie the odd well-known rock nearly everything is joys here. After his blunder in was sunning himself on an tick/icon-driven), which Just A Gigolo, Bowie wisely star. Bowie is featured in a exotic beach when he was couple of scenes as a cut has you wandering around, COPY bounced back with a sup befriended by an assort VOYAGE returning home and seeing porting role, playing throat killer who's after ment of Monty Python Michelle Pfeiffer — who an advert on the television Catherine Deneuve's renegades. Bowie was With a game like this, who needs films for a new cinema blockbus OF doomed lover in this chic isn’t? talked into making a cameo ter called—Labyrinth. Self tale of modem day vam in their celebrity-laden (or music, or carrot juice)? ROGER publicity is all. pires. pirate caper. Absolute Begin KEAN and joystick take on Jareth in Off you go, in search of Bowie's role here is short For the record, then, ners (1986) the cinema. Realism dic and sweet, but it is to his Bowie — with a shark’s fin the computer version of LABYRINTH, tates that before the film credit that the movie loses Directed by Julien Temple inexplicably attached to his Palace an animated game of hide-and-seek. starts you should buy some its momentum once he has popcorn and be forced to back — appears as a rating WHEN Absolute Beginners came out in April, been killed off. in just one scene, utters his chat with the obnoxious Incidentally, this was Again Bowie opts for a sup most critics shot it out of the sky; it paid the line and, like the film, disap porting role, this time as a person next to you. And Tony Scon's (Ridley's price for being over-hyped. However rumour pears without a laugh. smooth-talking mid-Atlan- then the film begins. . .and brother) first feature film so does the adventure has it that some paying punters actually after a distinguished career . i tic businessman who -Giggy otaraust and makes his money by selling proper. enjoyed the movie, our very own man-in-a-tren- in TV commercials—hence David Bowie, as Jareth, the film's over-glossy look the Spiders From trends. Bowie's showpiece, appears and speaks: 'YOU! chcoat, Simon Poulter, reckons it was one of the MarsMQRdl though by no means the and the repeated image of in the front row. We've best musicals he's ever seen (after The Pyjama billowing curtains. The best sequence in the film, is Directedby the That's Motivation been watching you for Game, Showboat and Midnight On The Orient movie flopped but Scott D A Pennebaker number which has him some tim- . -v. We know Express). was to have more success Screen Entertainment j singring and dancing on a all there *<* now about with his second feature. For this shameless admission we removed his I /•' you . Top Gun. giant typewriter. Great Excellent concert film docu stuff. $ Jar< . . :s your boots and chained him to his green screen, gave menting Bowie's final quo enter the him five copies of the new Absolute Beginners Merry Christmas appearance as Ziggy Star lab- ■ your way video and ordered him to devise a cryptic LM dust at the packed Ham to Jar' .' , and there Mr Lawrence competition so that we can get rid of the damn mersmith Odeon in 1974. coni:-. e journey (1983) thro1 r into things. Directed by Nagisa Oshima Whistle some designed Channel 5 ‘We know all there is to know about you!’ A PIXEL-ATED Bowie as Jareth. loca;. : • n Hoggle is LM: What could be more exciting than a one-way enco> .* thout his In Major Jack Colliers Down ticket to Ludlow courtesy of Roger Kean's used- BEING a rock star simply help y. ■ ver find Bowie found the ideal Here in Britain, Labyrin ;h your ,;L the notes expenses pot? character, with the right isn't enough these days. —The Computer Game ( chain, they’ll most likely fry costs £48.99. HAT does the MAN AT CoA your fingers at the lightest word 'over- Despite the odd (very odd) curious touch. coat' conjure gem of a garment, this QEE2 much-malign edchain- Flecks, Land up in the aver NEXT flecks. You age male’s fro- store still depends on raises and you'd wzen imagination? Some raw despised labels in the Most of the coats in this yuppy-infested emporium self in an Isle of and chilling vista of trailing Younger Set and Classic trenchooats, overripe Gent line. Ignore the will leave you at least £100 afghans and the odd dull ignominy and discover a out of (your fully polyester- the double-breasted, belted lined) pocket, so the best duffle, perhaps? bet Time to wrap up your tweedy number in dark or is to head straight for parky preconceptions — light grey. Half wool, half the macs. Pick of the bunch here foil synthetic, with widish is a plain cotton jab which ran< it's not just the economic hangs loosely to just below plat climate that’s looking lapels, this one comes in UkAfVi !>l'ji bleak. Leave the perfect herringbone or 'fleck' and knee-length. No frills here, and He-man shivering in his T- goes for £89.99. Think on apart from a corduroy col- cfaei shirt, for the Great Coat this possible improvement: lar; it's single-breasted ---- Revival is upon us. From collar turned UP. belt with a quilted paisley hntag dreadnoughts to fear KNOTTED, and trilby pul (cuts a dash in high winds noughts, from Chester- led LOW for that *1 don't ...) and, for types who hate fields to check ooats, from shop at Man At C4cA* look. greasy cuffs and necks, it’s mohair to dog-hair, here’s a NB: beware mock flying wmahatale. Definitely the to ■ nmoai guide to the beet jackets lined in, yee. red ‘cuddly casual’ look, to 1 (and worst) winter wrap- fake fur! 8o touch. stone or green, it cornea to I peri around. Tethered to an electric small, medium or large, end ■ v-m Flavour-of-the-month — Michael J Fox. MICHAEL J FOX Back T© The Future CIC 113 mins PG MARTY McFLY (flavour-of- his new invention—atime- the-month star Michael J machine built from a De Fox) is an average Araeri- Lorean car. can schoolkid with average But it doesn't pay to parents, George and Lor tamper with De Loreans. raine (Crispin Glover and Marty is inadvertently sent Lee Thompson). There's back into the past, to 5 nothing really special about November 1955. He discov him — he leads an unexcit ers that there's not enough ing life in a small American power in the time-machine town, is consistently late for a return trip, and starts for school, has a nice looking for a much younger girlfriend and plays in a Doc Brown, who might help rather dodgy rock band cal him get back to tho future. led The Pinheads. The only Before finding the Doc, unusual thing about Marty however, Marty accidently is his pal, the unsuccesful saves his teenage father inventor Doc Brown (the from being hit by a car and marvellous Chris Lloyd). takes the bump himself. One night the Doc calls Unconscious, he's carried Marty and tells him to como into the driver's house and nursed back to health by a Ooc Brown—Mad Professor (Chris Lloyd) hangs by a thread from time Itself. to Twin Pines Moll, to see January 1987 L.IWI □ 39 PERFECT Sis fflSF beautiful teenage girl with the passengers appa typical of the film. Nothing ing—and the ending reve Davies’s show-stealing who's fallen in love with rently none the worse for rings true. als its origins as a failed TV- Quiet Life (claustrophobi- The guy is a movie cab him; trouble is, she's his their delay. However, Oddest of all is the sud series pilot. cally shot in a cut-away SYLVESTER STALLONE bage (But don't tell him I I ssrrr^sssssus^, future mum! Angela (Catherine Mary den, inexplicable MTV- 20% ROGER KEAN house), all you have to do is Rocky IV said so.) Marty manages to Stewart) is no longer style pop promo sequence hit the fast forward-button 20% SIMON POULTER escape her clutches and human, an unromantic little that pops up in the middle ■ Cosh! Wow! Freak out to get through the chunks Warner Home Video 91 mins PG was finds the Doc. but before he quirk which Robert (Mark of the film accompanying everybody! A cyborg inva of plot (or, if you're feeling ■ I find it sickening that can return to 1985 he has to Lindsay Chapman) finds it David Bowie's Ashes To this fascist bullshit is sion! What thrilling origi really subversive, do a little IF World War Three could turn Lorraine's over-amor hard to overlook. Ashes. Did Bowie lend his nal stufffor a video! home editing) and you’re No such luck, eh? watched and enjoyed by j I endeC°rd'teview 'h^sfapa wacky® 3 Video’book : ous attentions toward be fought on the movie " It threatens their name to this? Despite the blurb on the left with an instant party Rocky, his coach and his human beings. It’s crap rating on at the George, otherwise they'll relationship. At first he Mark Chapman (whom I screens of Western Europe, father leave for the USSR to like this that gives the Rus < cover, I didn’t actually find video. I'd sleep a lot safer I PS.- Yep'rt'4wifd0ntHnOUSh? •. never meet, they'll never notices only her coldness, suspect of being Mark this one all that bad. True, Forget the flack, go rent start training. Much iron is sians a legitimate excuse marry, and Marty will never but back at work — a very Lindsay Chapman) directs The appalling Red Dawn, pumped and much sweat to lob a couple of SS-20s in exist... some scenes are predicta it. .. Rambo, and more recently ,s^XjS''s so‘"9 flashy, trendy newspaper the stilted actors through a ble, but some are almost 80% MANDY LAWSON sprayed as the film con our general direction. Stal i The hilarious pos office — Angela has swap hilarious series of situa interesting. There could Top Gun suggest that if the trasts the computerised lone defeats a boxer who sibilities of time parallaxes ped her horror of elec tions taken from any are exploited with incredi be more gore; when you tronics for a computer and number of films I detected expect to see guts plas ■ I thought Absolute ble attention to detail, right starts writing pro-vivisec- SSSSSkSIPS?na- traces of Blade Runner. V, tered all over the screen, down to the Ronnie Reagan Beginners was going to be , p ' Crash and Amtixl. t! tionist articles. She carries Coma and Return of the Liv all you get is a few burnt- a watershed movie; in the picture showing at the local this new hobby a trifle far ing Dead (a Dynamatard movie-house. Marty's romp out PCBs. Oh well, it’s event it was something of by killing the happy attacks Robert in a forest of worth a look if you can a washout. Still, it’s an i through the past has far- couple’s dog, Boots, telling naked, swaying manne- reaching future consequ handle unoriginality. enjoyable, vibrant dim. Robert the animal was run hour later, and lands safely 25% MIKE DUNN from the virtuosity of ences, and the film has to over. quin bodies), and Close PRINCE be watched a couple of Julien Temple’s opening To soothe Robert's grief, Encounters (a young boy ■ Annihilator is a mish tracking shot to the times to catch all the sub Angela suggests a roman builds a mountain from his Under The Cherry Moon tleties. mash of material poached climactic finale. An a ■ > tic weekend in the wilds. food), and of course the from other movies, hardly cious movie that'll be Warner Home Video 93 mins 15 Director Robert Zemec But inevitably the idyll is whole derivative mess kis has done a great job; captivating, and the wide- classic one day. ! shattered when her eyes owes plenty to Terminator. open ending left me 95% the acting is superb, the start glowing red and she But unlike Terminator, A FILM BY PRINCE That's movies like Rambo and action rushes along at unsatisfied. The him is CURTIS HUTCHIj N tries to drown him in a lake this one has no guts, pace, well-shot, but all the gloss what it says at the end of Beverly Hills Cop) will go to breakneck speed, and the In the ensuing bloody or thrills, and it lacks direc the ponderously slow open any lengths to keep the brilliant climax leaves the is lost in the blight of Ter- struggle, Robert narrowly tor James Cameron's rahawks-style acting. ing credits and that's young lovers apart way wide open for a sequel. ■ Absolute Beginners a exactly what this is — escapes death and flattens touch. Annihilator isn't Annihilator is bad, banal joyous delight, brimm: A bemused, though I can’t wait! Angela with the car. reveal quite exploitative rubbish, and boring. Prince, more Prince and yet unembarrassed. Prince 05% JULIAN R1GNALL with life, excitement, c - more Prince. The man’s got ing her as a maniac robot (or but it certainly is unsatisfy- 40% JULIAN RIGNALL our and spirit. Colin prances through the pro 'Dynamatard') in human a lot of balls if he’s prepared ceedings in eye-wateringly Maclnnes's novel is, anj to take all the blame for this tighttrousers andtakes his form. The car and way; Julien Temple’s ■ Dodging the sister mechanoid Angela explode abomination. shirt off quite a lot. The guy drooling all over Michael J much-hyped film treat His Purpleness stars as can’t act but he sure can — a pity, since this hides ment is a bitter disap Fox, 1 managed to enjoy the evidence that Robert EDDIE O’CONNELL, PATSY KENSIT an oily lounge-lizard/ pose, and he treats each this absorbing dim as has saved the world, and pointment, and despite s gigolo/musician in this scene like some gloriously much on video as in the the police think he's a sim lavish production, lacklustre black-and-white camp photo session; when Absolute Beginners painstaking attention cinema. The plot is origi ple murderer. Palace 107 mins outing to the playground of someone feeds him a line he nal, and the ending works 15 detail, wonderful sound the international jet set on pauses, looks skywards well enough; Back To The track and skilful choreog the French Riviera. As and checks his coiffure Future is well worth get raphy it fails to do justice IT’S the long hot summer of All. David Bov/ie's spirited Christopher Tracy he aims before answering. ting out. to the original. to get rich and got laid (sur And what happened to 1958 Cohn (Eddie O’Con- That's Motivation and Ray 50% 50% MIKE DUNN nell). a photographer with RICHARD LOWE prise, surprise), and like all those songs? There are appalling clothes sense, :s Bob Geldof he scores on 17 numbers listed in the I in his last teenage year. Life both points credits but you only over ■ This mixture of science looks pretty rosy, he makes S hear the briefest incidental fiction, skateboards and a living cut of selling his pix. snatches. Weird. Fifties nostalgia is very hangs out at Soho's hippest ' * Under The Cherry Moon nearly eperfect entertain joints and is dating the is downright awful, though ment dim. The script is highly desirable Suzette like so many turkeys it does wittily clever, especially have a certain charm; (Patsy Kensit) techno-training of Drago beats him in every con with the temporal jokes But behind the glitzy next one broke out the Prince plays for laughs and surrounding the central Americans would win it with Rocky doing his bit, ceivable physical asset — gets more than he's bar facade of prosperous Lon lifting heavy farm equip it’s laughable. The acting I conundrum of time travel, don is a sinister city. Fascist hands down. No surprise, gained for. But Christopher and the action can hardly then, to learn that Sylvester ment, helping snowbound is pretty poor all round, Tracy should stick to writ agitators are fomenting horse-and-traps andgener and it gets quite painful be faulted. And it’s one of racial discord in Netting Stallone is a good chum of ing songs for The Bangles. those dims which appear the Six-Gun Gipper of ally making do with The Lit watching Sylvester Stal 20% Hill rruddie-aged lone’s three brain cells to be eirnple. lightweight, businessmen are plotting Capitol Hill. tle House On The Steppe for CURTIS HUTCHINSON fast fun, hut hide s disturb to make a killing out cl the Rocky IV is yet another a gym. going into overdrive as he ing ability to keep popping exercise in Commie-bash All this physical bullshit tries to speak. Don't waste ■ After the triumph of Pur new teen boom your time on this garbage. scenes Into your mind for Annihilate! opens in These intrusions from ing, packed with every cyn builds to a crucial climax— ple Rain HRHreally comes days. flashback with police cars the outside world throw ical right-wing cliche THE FIGHT. And what a 15% JULIAN RIGNALL a cropper with this pile of 58% ROGER KEAN chasing Robert through the ever conceived of outside fight it is. 20 minutes of dog's-do. I spent the drst Cohn's hie into disarray ■ This one’s packed with city streets and into the alter the opportunistic the Pentagon. heavy slugging with some half of the video waiting «na of a mysterious There's the RUSSIAN, a excruciating wallops com suspense: I wonder who’s for it to burst into glorious Suzette dumps him for Her. l going to win? 11A very, Annihilator woman who hides him and k-y Uarr.es Fox) a ’wealthy ten-foot piece of Ukrainian ing over on the soundtrack, Technicolor and it never to whom he confides his nastiness. He's the BAD- culminating in Drago's very predictable dim, with happened; if I want to see CIC Video 90 mins 15 and not altogether straight a rather unfortunate unbelievable tale The film rag trade king I DIE. Rocky Balboa is an destruction and an emotive a boring black-and-white then follows tUeit attempts Don't be put v4.! by the AMERICAN boxer and speech by Rocky IV . . scenario: a seven-foot dim I can switch on BBC2. to ti ack down the rest o! the therefore he’s the GOODIE. worra man! Russian getting beaten up But then the poor boy 10% MARY LAWSON ANGELA TAYLOR, a flimsy plot straight out of by Stallone, whom he Dyruunstards on Flight CbJf Richard s Tin* Your:'/ Balboa is out to revenge the If this is your first ever falls head-over-Cubau- beautiful, lovely Angeleno 508 s passenger list claying of his sparring part Rocky movie then you ain’t dwarf8. Rocky IV Is much heels for the English ■ Pretentious even by who works and lives with One director Jubcn Terr.- like the others in the charms of Mary Sharon i ‘Do you Uke tofu-bur- pic uses the narrative ner (and fellow AMERI- missed anything; this video standards, this her English boyfriend ge:s? the pie-change RUSSU^"°CreBd,byth0 dog'n-breakfast would series, and falls back too (Kristin Scott-Thoinas). draggy fantasy concen Robert, wins a week's holi :y to connect the :sui much on the previous She's a spoilt heiress, of Angela asks Robert as they ica! interludes which make probably put you off cinema trates on a dull story at the day in Hawaii On he: sit down to eat to the , /*° *cene is set, East v for good Stallone's acting dims; Rocky reminisces a course, and mega-wealthy expense of music. Buy the return to LA Flight 80S dis the film tick strains of Nik Ke: shaw The W ith prod nelson •West in Moscow, and ability (or should that be Jot. On the other hand, if Daddy (Steven Berkoff, the album and watch the appears otf the radar — but deathly demi-veg. very Rocky has the honour of his disability?) is mirrored by more of the same is all you respected British stage cover; Undor The Cherry i her plane reappears an bersiike Patsy Kensit s actor who insists on mak ‘here-and-now dialogue is r.v.ger clicking Having Jr word to defend: ‘I won't get his direction and. worse want, then you'll love this. Moon stinks. hurt, he promises his con. yet, his writing. 20% MIKE DUNN ing a berk of himself ui 5% THEZAPPER t> : 40 o ft_M January 1987 L.M □ 41 MUSIC ■ I’d never listened seri until it's safe to come out. natural powers that govern Skylarking grows and them. Through The Bar PET SHOP BOYS Not far behind in my ously to Paul Young and I our lives, and restates the improves with repeated was pleasantly surprised ricades may be dated, esteem is the Arthur Baker pastoral theme that domi plays. It could prove to be by Between Two Fires. clich%o'ed, shallow, pomp remix of In The Night, the nates the LP's first side. one of their biggest LPs to ous mush-rock, but as Disco B-side to Love Comes This LP would go down Perhaps XTC should con date. Get it. well at a party; the music dated, clich%o’ed, shallow, SINGLES Parlophone Quickly; it's a great funk of sider this one for their next 75% PAUL STRANGE pompous mush-rock goes hi-energy Fairlight fun is easy to dance to and the single. tracks are well placed, it’s amusing and highly Reviewed this month by the man (hold that alliteration!), Side Two deals more ■ XTC may be perennial enjoyable. with the best at the begin remarkably similar to directly with human experi misfits, but they make con You're probably familiar whose boots were made for walking, ningandthe worst toward THIS IS cynically billed as Opportunities. ence. Earn Enough For Us sistently interesting withthetwosinglesthis LP the end. The lyrics live up SIMON POULTER. the Pet Shop Boys’ new The Julian ‘no relation' tells of a young man's records; this time round has already spawned: the to my image of Young — album', but they’re follow Mendelssohn remix of the efforts to support his girl it’s pleasant soft-focus would-be terrace anthem ing the precedent set by recent hit Suburbia is the wishy-washy love songs and his household. BigDay psychedelia, strongly Figh t For Ourselves and the OH dear, time for that well- son off to his car-mainte Howard Jones and Go West only real bloop on the and ballads about a lonely discusses the implications reminiscent of mid-period title track, that really known parlour game, nance lesson, and do a run album, featuring inexplica boy who’s just been and releasing an album of and complications of mar Beatles. As ever, XTC have slushy one about being Hack’s Predicament. ner. Rock The Nations remixes, just in time for ble barking dogs, explo dumped by his missus. I riage, Another Satellite come up with a surefire 'bom on different sides of Bob Geldof's first solo couldn't listen to this for (EMI) is horrible. Christmas. Wizzo . . . sions and breaking win comments on the passing commercial failure. life' and ‘making love on single, This Is The World As advance warning of long,butit’sgoodin small With a title that not even dows. try to imagine the of years, and Dying is an 65% RICHARD LOWE wastelands’ (it knackers Calling (Mercury), is giving her forthcoming greatest- K-Tel have dared use, Disco Young Ones B-side crossed doses. overpowering, highly inti your elbows, you know). me problems. Do I slate the hits LP, Kate Bush has 75% BEN STONE is a collection of six remixes with the EastEnders theme mate view of our inevitable ■ The Brst time I listened Well, the rest of the songs record for what it is (bad), released Experiment IV — four singles and two B- fate, provok ed by the death to this XTC album I follow pretty much the or do I compromise and say (EMI), a prophecy of a world sides. Far and away the Though at times they of a loved one Disturbing checked several times to same format as these two Bob's got a new record out, best tracks are Shep Pet- seem like an overdose of stuff. see if my Walkman bat — starting with a verse bit what a nice man he is, what tibone’s excellent remixes Sample and Sequence, we The all’: highlight is teries were flat. The musi that chugs along aimlessly a nice denim jacket he has, of Love Comes Quickly and can look forward to the new The Mar> tailed cal style maybe strictly for before lurching, with all the and hasn't Fifi Trixibelle the first PSB hit, West End Pet Shop Boys album cur Around XTC fans, but the album’s subtlety of an articulated got her Daddy's eyes? Girls. rently in the works. And as tackle o ar musi- strongest point is the lorry shifting from fourth I'll take the first option Pettibono (whose full this set is being sold as a cal area sterous lyrics. The song-list gives gear to first at 70mph, into and face the flack like a name is almost an anagram budget-priced album it’s NEVER in their long o stab; .nd come an idea: In A Sacrificial a rousing singalong chorus. man. Pity his house of Pet Shop Boys) gives the well worth the time of all distinguished career fc. up trur ibably Bonfire, Dying, That's The fast songs have lots of depends on this record. first of these a harder, club- PSB freaks. Pass me that XTC made a duff recoi one of •. cracks Really Super, Supergirl, and 'stinging guitar’ and orientated feel, with a solid, BOY cap' They’ve made a few ever so on. saxophone bits; the slow pounding backbeat The 80% SIMON POULTER mediocre ones (Mumm Like ;ms, 65% MIKE DUNN songs have lots of ‘moody West End Guls remix is just was a tad patchy and piano’ and saxophone bits. an extension of the seven- ■ PSB have done nothing English Settlement ram All highly enjoyable stuff, where music is used as a inch which was one of the more for this cheeky bled uncontrollably at especially ifyou stand in the Kemp fire destructive weapon. best records around a year album than rehashed six times), but they’ve always front of the bedroom mirror Heaavy maan. Could be a ago. it's still more than wel previously-released managed to slip one or tv m posing and swaggering surplus track from the come. tracks, turned the drum glistening gems into ea with a tennis racquet or Hounds Of Love LP. since it The remix of Oppor machine up and gone fora LP while keeping the o . -:1- similar guitar substitute — uses a snatch of Pink tunities, a twice-released walk. Seems they can’t ity control set high for and judging from their Floyd's Wall helicopter hit-that-should-have-been, resist an opportunity to tracks. stage antics these days, again, Good, though. is as wonderful as the make money. But despite their lauca that's how the Kemp With an inspired title, seven-inch. To appreciate 10% ble attention to detail, XTC brothers spent a good deal Disco Aid's Give,Give,Give the value of such a track CURTIS HUTCHINSON have outlived their useful of their adolescence. (EMI/Total Control) is one just use this easy-to- follow ness. When they perfected THERE’S this ‘eerie’ intro nation contest. If they're appearing at a of two, yes, two charity LM guide: 1) Turn up stereo ■ A con, typical of the Pet their distinctive and intri bit — water running Never was a group so cavernous arena near you records currently available. to optimum neighbour- Shop Boys; they get a cate blend of student pop through a gutter, the click arrogant and self-assured I’d warmly recommend a Looking at the list of artists annoyance level 2) Start couple of hits, think (best highlighted on the of heels on the pavement, a as Spandau Ballet when visit. They're much more involved, it seems as if the music 3) Dance around they’re the bee's knees classic Black Sea LP) they clap of thunder, etc—then they first emerged from the fun than Bruce Springs Robert Palmer has re- merest hint of a disco con room to barely-concealed and then turn out this tur were already about six or a ‘haunting’ little piano trendy London club scene teen, and such good-look released Discipline Of Love nection could have earned concern of cohabitants/col- gid load of toss. An embar seven years out of date; ditty before the guitarist in their velvet knickerboc ing boys too—especially in (Island) from the Riptide you space at the recording leagues 4) Realise what a rassing record, even at a now they’re beginning to launches into a meaty kers, offering a radical new their new studded belts LP Sounds like his record session. The Disco Aid prat you look 5) Hide in con budget price. sound senile. power-chorded riff that alternative to dreary old and leather boots. company see it as a safe bet chanty donates the royal venient broom-cupboard -55% PAUL STRANGE Still, Skylarking is a good Eddie Van Halen would be rock'n'roll and vowing to 60% RICHARD LOWE following two smashes on ties six ways, some going to LP. and its thematic proud of. . ah, it must be change the face of ‘youth both sides of the Atlantic Band Aid, but if you feel approach is intriguing. The one of those conceptual culture' (whatever that ■Fight For Ourselves and divide, and it should do well generous you could save ■ When you’ve struggled ters into sweaty concert opener. Drowning In Sum heavy rock bands from the may be). Through The Barricades because he's so cooooool your stylus the hassle and PAUL YOUNG are great singles, and for years in a cabaret soul halls but failed to set the mer’s Cauldron, billows in Seventies, or Elton John And never has a group so (and he makes some very donate direct to the Disco Swept completes the hat Between Two Fires group that packed the pun tills a-ringing and the on banks of clicking cric trying to be clever. blatantly and so brazenly sexist, and very nice, vid Aid Trust. trick. The five other songs eos). charts ablaze, and you sud kets and modulating It’s only when that famil gone back on their word. The other tin-rattler is denly stumble on a for iar saxophone enters stage The logic behind this on this LP are second-rate On the other hand, New Live In World (EMI) by thd synths, producing a perfect Oilers, though, and even PAUL YOUNG has grown strong Heaven 1? over mula that turns you into a picture of a heady, brow right that suspicions are transformation is a familiar Model Army aren't dudes Anti-Heroin Project. up. Gone are the toon wealthy chart-topper aroused, and then the arri and predictable one. Span the most devoted fan will and they're not that musi Again, it's all in a good tones mopping July afternoon in feel cheated. popxteisot his first two LPs Young seems to be trying almost overnight, it’s the countryside. val of that unmistakable dau will be billing the eight cal either Their latest, 51st cause — but what a bloody 30% DE VILLE State, has some pretty and the epitaph* lot Marvin to prove httnself to those tempting to carry on min Just as you're about to voice hammers home the songs on this LP as their awful song. This one boasts crass lyrics ‘We’re WASPs, Gaye and Otis Redding who thought he was just ing the same rich seam. drift off, the track segues awful truth . . Spandau 'new', 'harder' sound, an even bigger list of pop appropriate for the times, MSpandau Ballet are a proud American sons/ we luminaries than Disco Aid Instead he puts took, soul trying to be a tevivalist pop Paul Young's no fool and effortlessly into Grass. Ballet, the foppish subur ■ spent force. The True LP know how to clean our (as diverse as Daryl Pandy, anti RtfcB through the Hugh star, a sophisticated Sha he's crafted an LP that will Romantic rustic themes ban soulboys who used to etc, but up in the CBS boar droom the executives and was decent enough as fake teeth and how to strip Robin Gibb and Bill Oddie), Padgham pi eduction mic kin Stevens And he suc slot comfortably next to swirl and twirl as the song heap so much unbridled marketing men are no soul, but since then down a gun'. Brilliant, eh? and again you can cut out i: rowave mid cooks up a ceeds on this album Faric-z andTr.e Secret Of develops, finally fading into scorn on those nasty, dirty, ■S doubt rubbing their hands they’ve gone steadily dow Not totally unlike The The’s the middleman and donate grown-up rock record cl The vocal is still Otis, Association in every a reassertson of the opening old-fashioned rockers, have with glee, hailing Through nhill; they've nothing new excellent 51st State Of direct without any loss of outstanding quality casual Redding-esque yuppy record rack. Very cut. Pretty conceptual. turned into a bona fide Fadgharris influence is nice it is toe: lots of made-for-MTV Rock Band. The Barricades as the one to offer musically, and America. Show them no conscience. grunts inserted as the man wereneververygiftedlyr most notable on Wonder music suggests The music interesting noises, I suppose the signs were that’s going to turn Messrs sympathy. Two of my current faves Ballet For A Rainy Day ically. Through The Bar land, whore the atmos is 1986 whitesoul complex - heartfelt lyrics, a comfort there when Martin Kemp Kemp, Kemp, Hadlee. Nor Christ! Sheffield's hairy are King Kurt's America polls us quickly into autum ricadesisthesoundofclap pherics and digitised per mg the inevitable triptych. able sound that might be described Live Aid as ’the man and Keeble into dollar heavies, Saxon, have a new (Polydor), and Georgia ns glory, while 1000 ped-out old clotbeshorsea cussicn make Young sound o: Yeung. Go West and cf the perfect backdrop to a Woodstock of our genera- millionaires, and anticipat single. Roger Kean wants Fame's Samba (Chrysalis). . Umbrellas shivers and trying to moke as much to use the standard Saxon Kurt's latest effort is a bril a bit like Genesis The coarse Hail And Calcs game of Trivial Pursuit, tt°n» o nd* OV€sn earlier, in ing a rich return on the con shudders as the November money as possible before press picture because ho liant cover of the West Side opening track Some People Welcome to the yuppie and a cracking potential heavens open, pouring dis- mat spandau appearance siderable investment could have been a Simple on The Tube which Gary they've made in Spandau they fade Into well- knows it upsets Paul Story number — get your wor ld Paul single in V.'t.y s A Man j content into a dying year Minds outtake, while Pris Have Tr. E-* Strong7- r.emp obviously mistook for Ballet Limited deserved obscurity. Strange — but batten down party going with it While Reason Cycle — a b4tofa THE ZAPPER oner Of Conscience has 70S SIMON POULTER 55% «* Pjto Townsend imperso- And the best of luck to 5% the hatches, send Hutchin- you're about it, shove on I o RICHARD LOWE ' — questions the 42 □ L.M January T967 January 1987 L.&V3 43 I *• . sooKs ' ** BILLY IDOL early days in the late Seven ties. CHINA CRISIS The Brothers Medved The LP works well write in a lucidly cynical Whiplash Smile because of its fresh, crystal- What Price manner that never quite WPMt Chrysalis clear production and time hides their admiration for less material. And if you Paradise? sheer celluloid badness, inept acting and hysterical Fame's Samba, the follow IF EVER there was an artist removed from previous Idol delve beneath the outer Virgin ' to make life difficult for material. layers you’ll discover an scripting, and the descrip up to New York Afternoon tion of Wild Women Of and a cover of a song by Gil- record-shop staff, it’s Billy 70% SIMON POULTER idea binding some tracks IdoL Do you file his records together. Wonga (in the category for berto Gil that was billed as most primitive male under heavy metal, punk, According to Hugh I USED to hate China the summer song of 85. WILD BEYOND BELIEF! Golden Turkey Awards II chauvinist fantasy) is FM, or in a far away place ■ Very tedious. There's not Cornwell, ‘dreamtime' is Crisis; there was always • j Great. HUMAN GARBAGE —IN has some marvellous almost worth the price of with the Sputniks? Whip enough punch, not enough the nearest English transla And Billy Bragg s turned something inherently twee THE SICKEST LOVE PAR award categories — the the book in itself. up with a cracker, too — lash Smile won't help; it's a firepower, not enough tion to a word of the Austra about their music and TIES! lian Aborigines. They most embarrassing nude This super-tacky produc i Greetings To The New very varied LP. clout and too much posing. appearance WHEN THEY SOCK ITTO believe they're related to scene in Hollywood history, tion caught the attention of Brunette (Go! Discs) is a If you were desperate to If Idol got his shit togeth er But then along came A GIRL — SHE FEELS IT! natural objects like trees the most unbearable bear the great dramatist Ten further example of his lyri pigeonhole Idol's music, and stuck with material as Steely Dan’s Walter Becker DEPRAVED BEYOND movie evermade,theworst . and rocks, and when they nessee Williams, who cal eloquence, and very you’d have to create a new strong as White Wedding, He sold me on China Crisis DESCRIPTION —ANEW performance by Ronald dietheybecomepartofthe attended location shoots to good it is. category for him, techno he’d have a cracking great last year with his produc KIND OF ABNORMAL Reagan, the most laugha environment But mining the excited consternation Talking of Go!, there’s a punk. The programmed album. But as it is, Whip tion of Flaunt The Imperfec LOVE! ble concept for an outer- on their lands has of the cast. It turned out, new single from His Latest percussion and the sequ lash Smile is a grave disap tion, and in 40-odd minutes WARPED WOMEN! FAN space invader, and so on. destroyed ; .V spiritual life however, that he was only Flame, stable-mates of enced blips and splats that pointment. I decidec that China Crisis TASTIC FIGHTS! In the category for least of the Abo.. :res Pretty hoping to date one of the both Bragg and The House- pepper this album sound 30% PAUL STRAJf" .3 weren't that bad after all. convincing scientific expla heavy ht.;. flamboyant Miami beach martins. Unfortunately like Jean-Michel Jarre Quite good, really. Listena- nation in motion picture musclemen hired in as a This-: with pre- ble. Stop The Tide misses the signed onto the Fourth And ■Oid sneery-lip is bac. 'ALLO 'ALLO, what 'ave history, one of the wild Wongan. i mark I wonder if they play Broadway label. Add that with his distinctive b serving • -nents, And on What Price we 'ere then? A new driller- nominees is (inevitably) my habitat It’s the details like this football? lot to the HM guitars which of sanitised punk. The sationsis Paradise?, Clive Langer killer porno-flick snuff own favourite turkey, Plan that make Son Of Golden echoed also dominate the LP, and peroxide prat does a ; Skies and and Alan Winstanley have movie? Nine From Outer Space Turkey Awards a great SoPr -v< the overall effect is a hi-tech impersonation of Jim picked up the Becker pro No, it’s only the advertis (1959), where a super-intel read and a stocking-filler Great Rock'N'Roll Swindle. rison crossed with po? Mu relisten- duction legacy without ing blurb for Sa tan'sSadists ligent alien tries to explain must for film freaks. You The constant 'chugga- burger Presley, all set ing wit an ear making any compromises. (1969), according to the theoretical physics to a US have to get a look at the chugga’ of the guitar never an innocuous techno-fi this co * iff is If this album is a violent authors of this hilarious Army colonel by comparing most laughable concept for ceases (even on the slower backbeat. Despite all ti. likely • by. In reaction to the. . Fire And romp through some of the the sun to a can of gasoline. an outer-space invader .. . tracks where it’s just a bit histrionics, the clenchei straig :rms the Steel phase of clever- films Hollywood would (If it’s ever on TV again, quieter), and on Beyond fist posturings and the LP ror > - irticular clever, boring-boring rather were forgotten. In don't miss it.) 90% ROGER KEAN Belief there's a set of guitar rebel yells, Idol never highlig •• he uplift- smugness, China Crisis fact Satan's Sadists was a riffs suspiciously similar to sounds as angry as he'd ing an i • i i1 single have done it with no holds daft biker film starring the the bonking track on Fran have us believe, just Alway , ie plod- barred. There are some squeaky-clean musical kie's Pleasuiedome album. slightly annoyed — like ding but . o title fine, assertive tracks: the actor Russ Tamblyn. Very original. me after sitting through track, tr. • us, lashing single Arizona Sky and We Harry and Michael Worthy of its own sepa But Whiplash Smile is this album, Was It Yo. . d the chug Do The Same. And at times Medved are famous for the rate insert is Courtney still a well-crafted piece of 15% ging Ghc .rain. there are similarities to first Golden Turkey All in all. a .surprisingly Dexy's Midnight Runners, Pine's Children Of The work, even if it’s not that far CURTIS HUTCHINSON Awards, the book which Ghetto (Island). The ex- powerful album which particularly in World's launched their TV career as Jazz Warrior and one-time shows that The Stranglers Apart and June Bride the hosts of spoofed-up Working Weeker's first are still a force to be The soulful pop of the last ‘Oscar’ ceremonies for the tal recording and produc ■ I was really happy with single, it’s a sublime piece reckoned with. album is still there, fester worst films ever made. Sten guns in tion. the overall sound is BAD's last LP — there of soulful social comment puny and limp ing beneath the surface, Son Ofgoes further, cov were some good tracks on set to cool jazz I wish him 80%PAUL STRANGE but the Crises seem to have eringa farmyardfulof new, Not that the LP doesn't it and I loved Medicine well found a new direction in the previously un-rediscovered Knightsbridge have its moments of glory Show despite the odd ! If there was any justice in and splendour — C'Mon ■ The grand-daddies have atmospheric moodiness of turkeys as well as some effects and inaudible the music business. Hur really got it together for Hampton Beach Quite better known epics that s BIG AUDIO DYNAMITE Every Beatboxis a marvell lyrics. rah! s excellent Sweet San ous modernretread ofSum this one. Forget Uncle apart from the Mersey con bombed from the moment Butaftera goodlisten to l ity would steam up the mertime Blues. V Thirteen Hugh’s Pseud's-Comer nection, this is very much a the cameras began to roll. No 10 Upping Street No 10 Upping Street I could charts As one of Kitchen echoesthebest elements of ramblings about reincar melancholy Beatley song. There's some fascinating CBS only gibber. Tracks like ware s first signings twoor mid-period Clash, and the nated Aborigines (see What Price Paradise? is trivia, too. Did you know Hollywood Boulevard three years ago, they now whole thing gels for once on above, and interview page the strongest and best that... deserve to break through IT all sounds so groat on I affair is shadowed by the confirm that BAD haven't 69); just sit back and let it album from China Crisis Raymond Burr (Perry SightseeMC, a guided tour lost their unique sound, the commercial barrier paper — a wicked, potent j ghost of The Clash The through the mythical splen grow on you. And grow it yet. Mason/Ironsides) played but overall the album fea brew of the sharpest rock f eclectic pastiche of the dour and miserable squalor will. Their finest effort 75% SIMON POULTER an ape in Bride Of The tures too much hip-hop. and the badde-s* rap. spiced music and the romantic ofnight-timeLondon town since The Raven. Gorilla (1951)? Linda Evans And the bandjust can't 85% with funk and reggae and glorification of street vio And in a year when most (Dynasty’s Krystle) went peppered with cut-up clips produce good hip-hop lence that runs through the rock musichas been as dull CURTIS HUTCHINSON ■ After the decidedly raunchy-surfing in Beach records; listen to C’mon of dialogue and delivered lyrics serve to remind us and stagnant as last week’s poppy Flaunt The Imper Blanket Bingo (1965)? Ron with fire, skill guts and that:he.se are the boys who dishwater, we must be Every Beatbox. ■ After giving Dreamtime fection, Garry, Eddie and nie Reagan (the well- bravado jetted over to Belfast for a j thankful for such rare I don’t really like this a good listen, I begin to Co release this much har known one) should have Oh yes. Big Audio Dyna photo session, who wore album, but maybe it'll wonder why The der—and better—album. played Rick in Casablanca mite certainly talked a moments of inspiration grow on me. jackets emblazoned with 65% RICHARD LOWE Stranglers don't feature What Price Paradise? goes (1942) and later suffered great record but. Uke their such poaturmg slogans as 55% BEN STONE more heavily in my album that important one step delusions that he was stylistic cousins Sigue 'sten-guns in ■ Stuff the Sputniks. BAD collection. Not laying any further and my ears are Humphrey Bogart? Tom S;c;ue Sputnik, failed to And finally, blooper of Kxughtsbndge — and who are the future of claims to being a happier for the experi Selleck (Magnum P I) was a J the month has to be Derek deliver lire goods No 10 the stranglers corpse in Coma (1978)? toned ;t all down for a s ot rock 'n 'roll! This is creativ Stranglers fan, I was sur- ence. Jameson s Do They Mean Upping Street isn't quite Larry Hagman (J R) got on MTV next to F.EQ Speed ity at its most fruitful, a Dreamtime prised at the 'versatility' 80% JENNY BAKER | Us’tPolydor) Heave the awesome opus w e ve devoured by a giant jelly mixture of hip-hop, FXand Epic of the LP; I could enjoy it i Not tat behind is Mel been promised - vet not ;s **'. 30 Upping Sued ■ social spite. as much at low volume as ■ Liverpool's wimp ‘roc while taking a leak in Son Of Smith Ho s noiruaUv a it too much of u disappoint Blob (1972)? Or that Joan sounds tame when it Joe Sirummer co-pro when It was killing my kers ' continue their Ben- good giggle m the musical men’ WITHOUT doubt Dream- Collins (bitch goddess) got sho uId be tor i vi. Jcr.t-s and duced and co-wrote eardrums. Now, having dish plan to dope the items on TV but he dies the Mainman Mick Jones has some time is the most successful off more lightly when sho Letts wad v.eedily when i the tracks; the best are been able to listen to Nice record-buying public. I'm death with Tiembhr. Lis made up and teamed up Stranglers LP for years wasn't quite oaten by col they should be roaring i Mick Jor.es/Dcn Letts J" Nice properly, I reckon getting tired of China tor. Me! Tenpole Tudor did with lorme: mentor and Nearly ail the tracks are ossal ants in Empire Of The THE BEST OF THE WORST FROM HOLLYWOOD songs like Dial A Hitman j compositions. BAD are as it should have been a big- Crisis pumping out Beat- this sort of thing a Sot better partner Joe S:rummer '.five provocatively persuasive garhit; /hopeIwon'thave Ants (1977)? and Ticket keep then ton- | original as Chas Jankel leish tunes and 'aren't-we- m Absolute Beginners c* the new ttacks beai the gue tn cheek rather than pieces of crafted pop and to say that about the oh-so-clever'lyrics. Musi You didn’t, did you, and HARRY AND MICHAEL MEDVED Tragic hallowed St rummer - Jones ■ and Ian Dury. and worthy tr.ere are welcome signs album. you'll have to buy this book fire in their belly and. .' successors. cal Horllcks. > hallmark: and the wru. des p ne sop h :s Lea ted dig; j trust the band are returning 65% MIKE DUNN 15% THE ZAP PER immediately. 80% SIMON POULTER Lhe firepower of their 44 L.IVI January 1987 L.M □ 40 soaks people whose personalities sion by a group of Japanese show’s victims how they LEWIS CHESTER come across from its pages businessmen, involving like their puppets Liver are the master puppeteers knives, offal, sausages, pool leftie Derek Hatton Tooth & Claw — The Inside Fluck and Law themselves, cocktail sticks and glace says that his appearance on Spitting Image was a ‘rec Story Of Spitting Image who, I’m relieved to leam, cherries. still wonder what the hell It’s also interesting to ognition of what we have Faber And Faber 200pp £3.95 paperback they’ve got themselves know that the producers achieved in this city'; Terry into. And so the fine detail once seriously considered Wogan’s wishes he ‘didn't WHILE I was reading this was fresh, it was original, it of budgets, resignations calling the show The sound so much like Eamonn book the BBC, were repeat took risks, and it was live. and board-meetings is of no Enough Money For A New Andrews'; David Steel ing some vintage material Will we be seeing repeats interest to a reader who Mental Hospital Show, and wonders why his puppet is in their ‘50 years of televi of Spitting Image in 20 knows little and cares less that lampoons of the Royal ■ so small, when I am in fact sion’ celebrations. One years’ tune? I doubt it—the about the characters of this Family were cut from the noticeably taller than Neil show in particular show's topical satire simply real-life drama. first show because of an Kinnock’. interested me; That Was isn’t up to it. And that’s Like some of the show’s impending Royal visit to If the book comes to any The Week That Was, the why this book, the story of more obscure in-jokes, this Central Television’s head conclusion, it's that satire weekly revue from the early the show’s inception and of book will appeal to 'media' quarters. The Royals fea is an essential part of any 60s which made the names its internal politics, person people but leave the rest of ture heavily; an entire healthy society It’s a sign of David Frost and Willie ality clashes and crises, is us baffled, wondering chapter is dedicated to the of the times, though, that a Rushton and on which, on not the most gripping of whether it really merits all episode with the Queen moderately funny show like one legendary occasion, a tales; Spitting Image is a this attention. Mother, whose impending Spitting Image should member of the audience programme which seldom There are some funny appearance as a Spitting attract so much flak vvuon walked up to Bernard Levin fulfils the high promise it stories, as well as a tantalis Image character prompted you consider what thp y -ot in mid-monologue and deli holds for millions, and only ing glimpse into the con the horrified Daily Express away with on TW320 . ;rs vered a resounding right succeeds because there’s tents of the pilot show for to describe Her Royal High ago. It's also a sign of a hander which knocked no competition in TV satire. Spitting Image. which for ness as 'untouchable' by times that Spitting In: n is Levin ofl his stool. If Tooth & Claw were contractual reasons will man and puppet alike. regarded as import ai TW3, as it came to be fiction, I’d accuse author never be broadcast. Among In the most interesting enough to have books t- known, was a bit rough Lewis Chester of poor the sketches was a mass chapter of his book, Lewis ten about it. around the edges, but it characterisation; the only self-disembowelment ses- Chester asks some of the 65% DAVID CHEAT BRIAN ALDISS A few things make me uneasy about the whole In ADRIAN EDMONDSON Trillion Year Spree i discussing Stephen King’s . ... contribution to SF, for How To Be A Comi Gollancx £15 hardback, £9.95 paperback (512pp) instance, mention is made of Fuestarter. The Dead Bastard Zone and The Shining, yet Virgin *The CiObt-r we come to the move at a fairly ponderous there is no reference made preset t day the harder it pace through Edgar Allan to the one novel that is pure becomes to make a clear Poe. H G Wells. Edgar Rice SF throughout. The Stand. ten' by complete willy judgement on the stature Burroughs and their vari Some turns of phrase break ADRIAN EDMONDSON and health of the SF field ' ous contemporaries up to away from the senous his with mark leigh and mil ! THE YEAR THAT WAS ! y and a sense of belonging, and a sense of want to do and by keeping control of it. I band and father is all the same person. I being part of something. When they’re left don't think the group would last very long if ‘People where I live are pretty straightfor to their own devices people tend to turn in we started doing stuff that was aimed ward and don't make a great deal of fuss As the year draws to a close, LM looks on themselves and become suspicious and specifically at a commercial market. We obvi about it and just see it as my job. It is a very back at important issues, storms in malicious. It causes a great deal of hostility ously want our stuff to be successful, expressive and emotional form of work, but between people, and causes you to look for because I don’t see any reason in working in work it is, it’s what I do to make my living. I people's differences rather than their teacups, fads and fashions, muddles I a communicative form and playing to myself, don't think it's a matter of taking something <8 my family and my living-room, but it’s impor special and making it everyday, I think it’s and mix-ups, plus the occasional tant to us to do stuff that we are committed seeing what there is special in the everyday, I to. You do have a certain amount of clashes I think that's the magic.' illuminating flashes of brilliance that £ MTo say that my family is and arguments, and we do listen to what Finally, there's the group itself. Musically, § other people have to say, but when you do personally, politically, they all clicked from have emerged during the last twelve 8 ■ ■ important to me would be an have fixed ideas about whatever it is that the word go and have gone on without any understatement Pm very impor you want to do you have to stand by them. major conflicts. months. § tant to my family, too, and that’s ‘It would be a very vainglorious form of ‘We have something very special between The Royal kiss a nice situation to be in, there’s a success if it all was done on someone else’s the four of us. I don't know quite what it is, conception of what the group should be. I'm whether it’s something in the cut of our does’ before later denying and arrogance of the aris not interested in success for success's sake trousers or what, there's something there. the statement. tocratic circles in which the —it’s too narrow a concept for me to find any Pressure from a Sunday Royal Family roam than vol Important not to teach children It's something that's more than the input of how to loam or how to grow up, great lasting satisfaction from.' each of the individuals. We do play and write inifflelks, tisiGfifle, pop newspaper, which claimed umes of Willie Hamilton What is success? to have evidence of diatribes. with a great deal of spirit. It's something Botham's drug-taking, It was not a good year for buttohelp them, because 'Finding myself deeply committed and more than just sitting down with a gv-.itar RICHARD LOWE rummages through tional drug stones weren't limited to decadent pop eventually forced him to the Government, either. ;! theydo it themselves. deeply satisfied by my work, finding that the and strumming a few chords. It's a ^ry admit that he had in the Defence Secretary Michael responsibilities I have as a father are repaid, the gutter and looks back on the year stars and desperate peas t ff intangible sort of thing, but it’s part and oar- ants. Not every young vic past used cannabis. The Heseltine stormed out of a and finding that I do what I do without look cel of what goes to make up the group.' ' accort’d W to Fleet Street. Cabinet discussion of the Stuart still lives in the town where he was tim of heroin hogs the head ensuing outrage resulted in ing too much of a prat, really. That’s what Suddenly it’s time to go; Stuart 5. a lines for days, but then not England's greatest player Westland helicopter com brought up. and seems to be at his happiest it’s all about.' BRUTAf- oody mur- i photographic session to attend, the; le der, dr\; celeb- every stupid smackhead is being banned from first- pany and resigned from the there, surrounded by the most important Another important element in the Big sleeper train back up to Scotland. W k the daughter of the Trade class cricket for two Government, accusing the people in bis Ufe: bis family. Stuart is now rities, P ccidents, Country success story is Stuart’s refusal to about the film Restless Natives for wh u ;e war, l .'v ' omic And Industry Secretary, months by the Test And Prime Minister of refusing I tbe father of two young children, and he be sucked into the star system; he prefers to wrote and recorded the score: ‘I like; -e repres- and when Olivia Channon County Cricket Board. to allow proper discussion I reces;. Even the Royal Family of the takeover bid. His res takes his responsibilities as a father very present himself as a pretty regular sort of discipline of writing to illustrate som iq <8 sion— ' ist like was found dead in the § seriously. I Oxford rooms of Count had the odd skirmish with ignation was more than an -< guy. because that's what he is. else's pictures. I’d like to do more of tha* . e 3- any otb • Uy. And 'To say that my family is important to me Gottfried von Bismarck drug-related scandal. An argument over a small firm 'I’m not really into hero-worship. What I says. when lb o consis- in Yeovil; it was a rejection would be an understatement. I’m very c_ the press had a field day. acquaintance of Princess do through my work and through the way I He's an ambitious man, but not in the t. d- tently it's no Margaret was charged of a style of government important to my family, too. and that’s a nice live is something that just goes to make up I realsu: » ‘.1X9 popu- Olivia had celebrated the itional sense of the word. Ask most n. -*n completion of her exams with dealing in cocaine, situation to be in. there's a mutual depen part of me as a human being, and it doesn't what their ambitions are, and they'll talk to lar pit' move than I ; rattle with vast quantities of her and Princess Michael, with dency. I think it's important not to teach chil set me apart from other people. I find it diso you about work, careers; most pop sttrs a ever on Boy George her familiar tact and flair for § and spa; \ -o,.biz’ favourite cocktail, cham dren bow to learn or how to grow up. but to rienting when people do look upon me in would mention unfulfilled yearnings to be pagne mixed with Guin attracting bad publicity, help them, because they do it themselves. that manner. People that are interested in gossip tc :>■? vho pill. When the facts of commented that pop music novelists, film directors, poets or racing c v- However,. ■r-r. that wasn't George's heroin addiction ness, a pint of sherry .. . Also the basic warmth and company within the group come up to us and talk to us and ers. Stuart Adamson's greatest ambitic is were first revealed by and a lethal nightcap of tended to be ‘associated a family is something that’s important for about Pri;. s Di or Dirty with drugs and exciting don’t feel inhibited, and it could be like that more realistic, but given his views on Chil Den did occasionally filter photographer David heroin. kids.' for anybody; 1 think it's just a matter of how dren and families as an expression of i.jpe Levine, George denied the It was a tragic case, but things like that'. Stuart onesdescribed himself as a 'depre- through, and this year it On the whole, though, you view yourself. I don't have a stage per in the future, perhaps it’s more importt c. was ‘drugs' that took over allegations, claiming that also a lesson to the wealthy rtimiat', but bringing up a family has sona that I can just turn on; Stuart Adamson that giving an immature, the Royals fulfilled their Td like to be someone's grandfather. I from AID5; es the new ‘the only drugs I have ever role, providing the media this view: 'Children give you a sense the songwriter, guitar-player, singer, hus- think that would be a fine thing to be.' taken are things like Val irresponsible college stu scourge of the nation and dent £40,000 a year pocket- with a rich fund of cosy, of naivety, and 1 mean that in a nice sense, the stuff of which tabloid ium and sleeping pills'. It only when his brother money can spoil her in more wholesome snippets of •-.1 in that kids do see the wonder of things, and sensations are made. was news. The royal wedding * hope in things, and don't look always revealed the truth to the ways than one. ! Phil Lynott died of a drug The world of sport was between (as TV commen _ kegattves. I see it in people's faces; I overdose, the Arab prince papers that George was tator David Dimbleby so ! forced to confess. And the tainted by drug scandals, think your basic average human being is a Mashour Ben Saud Aziz too. The snooker player neatly put it) ‘ a second rate pretty nioe person, and 1 think you have to weis charged with dealing misery piled up. George royal and an overweight went to court and admitted Kirk Stevens nearly died in rely cm hope for the human spirit.’ in cocaine and little Lord June after an overdose of Sloane' attracted the inevit Jamie Blandford was sent possession. His friend and able frenzied hype. The two Prolonged absences from his family have musical collaborator, cocaine, while Ian Botham altered Stuart's attitude to touring, now down for three months on a suffered a fusillade of alle were well-matched; 'a heroin rap. And still it was Michael Rudetski, was good team’ was the verdict found dead in George’s gations involving drugs. i *&*• something that's vt*y much s part of only January First to stick the knife in from the horse's mouth. While Phil Lynott's death house from the all-too- Fergie refused to admit —tha actual physical act of playing in a familiar drug overdose. was Lindy Field, billed by bend fa something that 1 dan vs a groat deal was something of a grim the press as a 'high society that her figure was a little ■ inevitability, thedrug prob And then, to cap it all, on the generous side, of fuBIhaant from, and it's something I feel George's odious side-kick divorcee and former Miss { lems of Boy George came as Barbados', who claimed insisting that ‘a good vwy haoky about. I do earn a living out of a genuine shock and gave Marilyn tried to sell his womanly figure' meant ‘a that 1 love doing, and not tales of Life With Boy that while on the MCC tour the popular press more of Barbados Botham had trim waist, a good 'up-top' %: aay that, mileage than any other George for £10,000. With snorted cocaine with her in and enough down the bot a hit of a bind story this year. That he had friends like that to mess up the bathroom of Mick Jag- tom but not too big', while Ido suffer very previously been at pEuns to your life, who needs ger's villa, sniffed more her father described we've that this year by distance himself from the heroin? cocaine while making love Andrew as 'a real man'. i school of rock decadence The publicity probably This was before his stag .*» wiSSiriUrit did George aworldofgood, to her on the floor of his ctvttfaed way of personified by the Phil hotel room and even broken night, when he destroyed three out of Lynotts of this world made though. He went for treat his bed during one particu his manly credibility by not . - • | now have pie Boy's downfall more ment, claimed to have larly passionate sex ses taking a single bevvy — I honic, and his previous ‘cleaned up’ and won him bet he didn't even have a self a good deal of sym sion. curry on the way home. I mm of Big Country sux- high, and indeed favoura Botham even had to cope ble, press profile made the pathy. He even got a re with a ludicrous accusation In the end the most tel but not Stuart He assuring telegram from ling comment on the whole . story vultures swoop more that he snorted cocaine BKJ eagerly. Donny Osmond pointing while fielding in the slips, affair came from Fergie's And the fact that his par out that if you take‘in out and endure the statements mother, who revealed that ticular poison was not the of 'heroin' it spells 'hero of his manager, Tim Hud the happy couple ‘first met fashionable, glamorous (and if you take'onny out son. who insisted that 'Ian on the polo ground — to cocaine but heroin, dirty of 'Donny' and replace where everybody meets’ — ■ grew up during the drugs ar»d deadly, added extra it with 'ickhead* it a remark which does more generation, so of course ho Michael Heseltine I s£t- squalor and degradation to spells 'Dickhead'). takes drugs . .. everyone to condemn the snobbery I- the sorry tale. Tho tragic and sensa- January 1987 LM □ 51 1"°V:-:* 1986 f' m where the PM stuffed her something to be Iff cabinet with crawling applauded, few could help ped by the Lotus team, more reverently known as chain — sponsors, desig Didcot, Oxfordshire; megabucks bought cronies and ruled the roost, feeling intense satisfaction Mansell spun off on the first The Professor, the most ners, engineers and even Senna's Lotus in Hethel, megahorsepower. Their a rejection of policy which with the spectacle of some comer of the first lap of his prolific Grand Prix winner humble mechanics can Norfolk; Gerhard Berger’s very survival was f puts the interest of one as smug and pious as first race for Williams. since Jackie Stewart. have far more influence on Benetton in Witney, threatened. shareholders above the Jeffrey Archer caught with But as soon as he was Prost was the man who a car’s results. Oxfordshire; and Prost’s But the Brits resisted interest of the nation. The his trousers down. A splen introduced to victory it made an artform of coming Formula One is the McLaren in Woking, Surrey. with Mansellian grit. Con 6- repercussions of the row did tale. became addictive. After no second in the World Cham technological peak of a This last became the first tinuing to build better chas also led to Trade And But not all news stories wins in his first 72 races, pionship points table technological sport. Much car in history to achieve sis, they commissioned !v- • Industry Secretary Leon were as heart-warming. Mansell achieved six in the despite winning most of of the drama is written on three successive World other manufacturers to pro Brittan's resignation from 1986 was the year when next twelve. At once 'Man the races, but it was fourth the test-bed and in the Driver's Championships. vide them with engines. the cabinet. untold (literally) damage iac Mansell’ became ‘Our time lucky last year. Vic wind-tunnel. At the race And your paper told you Thus, when the turbo I::V Junior Health Minister was caused by the Cher Nige’. In a touching display tories at San Marino and track, the mein in the this was 'almost a good charger could no longer Edwina Currie made a nobyl nuclear disaster, of wisdom after the event Monaco this spring regis cockpit is merely a promp year for Britain,' did it? be defeated, it was they name for herself with crass when the space shuttle the critics melted away, or tered his reluctance to ter as his machine acts out Seven of the fourteen cur who stole the honours, ill generalisations about the Challenger exploded turned their attentions to relinquish the hard-earned its well-rehearsed role. rent Formula One teams Brabham in partnership eating habits of the nation. shortly after take-off; it was cricket. crown, and put him back on Before any team can con are British. They are not with BMW, McLaren with i According to Edwina, the year of the American And the man himself top of the standings again. template winning a Grand major manufacturers with Porsche and Williams with northerners live on a diet of raid on Libya, the ‘state of changed, maturing. Reck These recognised stars Prix, it needs a 1500 cc corporate funding, but Honda. s: chips and gravy washed emergency' in South Africa less self-doubt became made Mansell a rank out engine capable of providing independent, commer Neither Renault nor Fer down with pints of bitter, and the abortive Reagan/ wreckless self-belief as he sider for glory, but he soon 850 bhp: brakes which cially-sponsored, profes rari had produced a turbo while those sensible Gorbachev ‘peace talks'; it defended a surprise cham brought the odds tumbling. have instant impact even sional racing organisations. charged World Champion. The French conceded sophisticated southerners wastheyearofthe ‘toyboy pionship poirvi lead. He outraced Senna in Bel when they've been red-hot They build their own chas defeat last year, leaving stay healthy on coleslaw Perhaps tl- - mg tide of gium (despitefueltrouble), for an hour and a half. The sis, but they buy their love massacre’ and the professionalssuchasLotus and carrot juice and jog personal av f •■tic aerodynamics have to engines. . il1; ‘skinned torso horror', the Prost in France (despite to campaign their engines ging. With such distorted optimism sh nave been twopit-stops fortyres) and allow straight-line speeds Between 1957 and 1977 ' inter-city carnage ’ and the — and leaving the Italian andprejudicedviews she's dammed > • -'nt Piquet at Brands Hatch (in of up to 215 mph despite these professionals 'slaughter on flight 075'. cars to be eclipsed once bound to go far in the Tory It was a year of routine before b>.: ied by an unfamiliar spare car), incorporating bulky, defeated the challenges of fr manymotormanufacturers more by their British rivals. ' ' party. misery for three million fate. Ceri veil of and romped away unchal inverted wings to increase who decided to build their Rule changes will be ; Edwina’s only real rival in unemployed; Employment anti-din; n.ot be lenged from them all in traction during cornering. own chassis in which to bringing Turbo Wars to a the stupidity stakes was Secretary Lord Young allowed v the Canada and Portugal. And the bodyshell must !j: Jeffrey Archer, who res reckoned 'the country has magnituri all's - 1 igned as deputy chairman never had as good a time as achieven lit He did/. viiming m more ia-;oi •y other driver in ; in iorc- ingthe be. jrl-Jto treat hut ,.j. Man- sell provi; uck alone faiiu -vithe canon If most tellur-- - - ’Uie of his success wr -t defeat, in ■^ , ilHl Mobil ^ ; the end, can-- - a surprise. The opposition was awe 4 some; three men who were generally considered to be without peer Ip, ca!,oiti I i$ Nelson Piquet is the man who persuaded the great Niki Lauda to retire in 1979 : ; It's easy to feel sorry for by refusing to live in his GUY THOMAS looks beyond Nigel race their engines. Only the close, but they have t * i ourselves, too. Historically shadow in the Brabham encompass complex tur Five wins is usually experienced Italian Ferrari already been won. The sup i Mansell’s empty Williams — and the our drivers have been more team. He went on to lift two bocharging and cooling enough to bag the title. It concern still had the nerve reme achievement of : smashed hopes of British motorsport successful than any others, world titles, become a god, systems and a 50-gallon British motor sport in 1986 andfailto find ateam-mate was certainly enough for to try. and where Stirling Moss the national media to proc fuel tank, while keeping has been technical rather for 86 — to make a patriotic Prost who could get near him weight and air-resistance Then Renault arrived , : failed, six other Britons laim the seventh coming. than human, and it would ■ beforehejoinedWilliamsto from France with a ! Report. have succeeded: Mike The specialist press, how to a minimum. have been so even if Steve partner Nigel this year. He Consider, too, that you revolutionary little engine . Hawthorn, Graham Hill, ever, knew better. The fitted with a turbocharger Rider's party had gone bet : TEVERIDERman- j of the next Messiah for 12 won the first race in his need a rubber compound . Jim Clark, John Surtees, experts knew Mansell ter. aged a brave native Brazil, was deified which is soft enough to — that is, an attachment frenzied months of crusad Jackie Stewart and James could put Britain at the which uses exhaust gas For while the ability of smile, but he knew again, said it had been translate all available rpm ing. the BBC had nailed Hunt were all World forefront of international pressure to force-feed the Our Nige—already 32—to if f his party was a easy, and already seemed into mph by literally glue together its own cross and Champions. So the motor racing — but they engine itself with fuel, sustain his recent brilliance & complete disaster to be cruising to a third ing itself to tarmac at high carried it cheerfully to the backlash which followed maintained Britain was improving the efficiency of is uncertain, the continued £ sTrue, it had been well- topofthehill. And themyth championship. temperatures, yet hard reliance of his peers on this Hunt's 1976 title has been there already! combustion. advertised. and millions of Ayrton Senna is Brazil's enough not to wear itself to exploded along with Nigel painful. Successive champ* Our affection for the indi Renault spent eight country's mechanical : people turned up despite Young Pretender, the shreds (or explode) in the engineering prowess is Mansell's left rear tyre, in ions have come from five vidual sporting hero can years and a great deal of the unsociable hour. But Luther of the Piquetist process; an onboard now assured — which is an inglorious shower of different continents; sometimes distort reality. money developing their this midnight feast lost its church. He's the Boy Won engine-management com whytheinformed presscan I I sparks beamed live from So whilewesatgluedto an baby in a purpose-built Jeffrey Archer flavour very abruptly. Frenchmen and Brazilians der who hit an unprepared puter which ensures every keep so cool and compla Adelaide. Britain's Big exciting scrap in which an chassis. At first the British ’ : have been in vogue. Nigel, in whose honour Bang came one day too Formula One in 1984 with a underdog Bulldog was drop of the regulatory fuel cent in a crisis. ■ of tho Tory party after be d it lias today'. It wastheyear Enter the epitome of the allocation (andno morel) is teams scoffed at it, over the celebration had been early. blend of raw talent and tookitfrequently, anddub The national media's admitted payuig off a pios- when rape was more rile True Grit Erit. The story of striving to fend off a lot of ; planned, was just not in the ruthlessness which won utilised; and a squad of bed it The Mobile Chicane. reportage of the wealthy titute to avoid any scandal thaneve*. in theHighCourt Perhaps the Eeeb got its Nigel Mansell’s transfor foreigners, the fact that all paramilitary mechanics . party spun after Lady Luck ■ust deserts, but it's easy him accolades, races and Within two years they Ferrari team's bid for ous revelations she might Mx Justice Garland served mation from near-failure to four protagonists drove stood him up Tyred from enemies in that order. After drilled to change all four enviedit. theyweregetting Nigel’s services seems to have made about him Of a lament sentenceon a roan to feel sorry for Mansell He national hero is classic Boys British cars was largely ; the start, he later became knocking Mansell off the wheels in eight seconds. beaten by it, and they be telling us that the course Jeffrey never met convicted of kidnapping * World's best rac Ovsn material. taken for granted. Or Any car which does not balance of power in the noticeably deflated and left ing dnvei, but he would track in Rio, Senna fended started calling for it to bo i this woman — he was and raping two women Manseli's career has him off by six feet (after 200 ignored. have all this, along with the 8port is changing. It is. It befo: e the end Steve's sur have v/orn that crown had The World Driver s banned. merely scaled that site because the degree of vio rogate hero proved less been more chequered than miles) in Spain to stake his mechanical reliability to Spotting their opportun has. But not in the way they : -ne Gods not let hm down Championship may be the complete a 200-mile race, might reveal more intimate lence used was compara popular with the. guests, for the finish-line flag, and he's claim to Godship. ity to outgun the profes claim. Far more telling is ! ; details of their non-existent tively small and no sexual been written off almost33 Alain Prost v/as the man big prize for all concerned, will not require tho services the rumour in the specialist he was short, crock-nosed oph how-out without a but this is, paradoxically sionals. Ferrari and Alfa- relationship and so offered perversion was involved' and spoke with a foreign often as his cars. While who persuaded Niki Lauda of a driver. Romoo built turbos too. media that Ferrari wants to her money to go abroad These are worrying emg** physical scar will experts doubted he would to re-retire m 1985 by con but undeniably, a team Only four different chas set up a research and accent — and besides, sport. And British team* British builders soon found While the gutter jour times Does anyone had got off with Nigel s f**0 the mental ever win a Grand Friz, sistently beating him. For sis won Grands Prix in 1986. themselves competing development centre in Eng Jf^uish« hs fcr hfe Wia have dominated it fox nalism ol The News Of The imagine next year will be Lady cynics were busy offering merly nicknamed The Tad against companies whose land ... Worid is not generally any better7 '■"* *****7 Could cry if £ pole (because he v/as a lil- Sr. preaching the gospel wanted to y odds cn which bend wouk3 hams was end hs career And. drop' tle Frog), he late became January 1987 L.IWI □ 03 92 O ft-M Januar> i987 u A I £ cross-channel ferry trips to of Gatting's glum tures of Wembley, where Our amateur boxers did a grand job gripping buy a hormone known as gladiators fumbled and the bookmakers were so fared well, though, bring rain lashed pavements By the ’dead man’s drug' — bumbled their way to Test impressed with the plucky ing back a clutch of medals night, those wishing to trip A sporting chance because it's extracted from defeats by supposedly sec 0-0 draw which got the from the Commonwealth A g@@el year the light fantastic invested 1 corpses. That's a sinister ond-rate nations, India and boys in green their plane Games — which, despite in a pair of taffeta evening : : Was 1986 a great year for British table. secret which puts a lot of New Zealand. Which may tickets to South America interference from politi slippers. First and second? The sporting feats into a new have convinced 'the gin- that they made Northern As a wet summer mel cians and Robert Maxwell, sport? ANDREW SHIELDS reports Soviet Union and East Ger light: how many of them soaked dodderers’ (quote Ireland rank outsiders for restored British sport to lowed into an equally wet many, of course. Goes with were 'natural' or were they Ian Botham) in charge of theWorld Cup andEngland iw tlBi® poses autumn, change was afoot. gritty ground level. The out saying. But don't they all achieved by junkies? selectionthatthere'ssome aludicrous 8-1. Afterbeing Plimsolls were ousted by 'HERE'a the British lad decision of many larger started winning. Not just just use drugs to win every Drugs of a milder sort thing very wrong at the humiliatedfortwo-thirds of sturdy, leather brogues and nowl He’slookingtired,but nations to steer clear of : Daley, Steve and Seb, but thing? Maybe so, but then were, apparently, to blame roots of our sporting sys their qualifying group Designer stubble? DMs? Old school whether they were fringed, that's a really great run to Edinburgh, though, left \ Roger Black, Linford Chris so do a lot of other coun for England's cricket per tem — like promising cric games, with even the fans slobbering over such ties? Loose-fitting linen jackets? hole punched, laced or get eighth place____' tie and Fatima Whitbread tries, according to the formances going to pot. buckled, brogues set the Words like that used to keters playing their entire Union Jack brigade sobbing tasty morsels as Wales v also strode boldly onto the authors of a book called The central figure in the Which of the year’s looks conjured up pace for the look of autumn greet almost every British school careers on concrete into their tequila, Eng Papua New Guinea at winner’s rostrum where Foul Play. They suggested story: Ian Botham. Man 86 — The English Gentle athlete when dumped into and tarmac, and never get land’s miserable month in bowls. All good clean fun at the feel of 1986 and will make us others had fallen at the last that at least 60 per cent of more sinned against than man. a head-to-head with the ting even a sniff of grass. Mexico was ended by the the Friendly Games, it hurdle. British athletes use sinning, or a criminal who cringe in ten year’s time? JANE A look that emerged in rest of Europe. And as our That seemed to be all Godlike hand of Maradona. seemed, but behind the And when the 4 x 400 steroids and drugs, a figure should be in jail for admit the Thirties when the cut of gallantBritishladcollapsed reserved for Botham The boys in green and the scenes there were confron BOOTH looks back at the year’s high metre replay team struck which sent a deathly shud ting smoking dope? your jib was all-important, overthefinishline, Ron Pic Someone once wrote a Scots, meamvh la, lived tations over Zola Budd gold at the European der through the jolly hoc Even though big Both street styles. the classic country look kering would add, ‘... in book about football called down to their v . outations. which could shred not only Championships minim one key sticks organisations madeaBoy'sOwnreturnto became the blueprint for this class of competition'. They Used To Play On On the horn . ont, Liver the Commonwealth shoe, Britain vaulted to the which run much of our a demoralised England Grass. In Mexico, th 7 pool did the 1. 'le and Games, but the actual Com THE phenomenal success For those holidaying the well dressed A strange thing hap unparalleled heights of sport. Two weightlifters team by taking a wicket played on mud bake-' olid. I Wolves slu . co the monwealth. of the Levi 501 campaign abroad, trouser lengths Englishman and genera pened in 1986. Our athletes third place in the medals tions of American Ivy even go so far as to make with his first ball, the rest A far cry from the lu :. oas- fourth Di vi < ‘^re to join Away from the scorching during 86 proved that old rose dramatically. There their equal • famous pace of international corn- denims never die, they sim was no room for bashful Leaguers who adopted it as brothers, • rnd Pre petition, another sporting ply fade away. ness as the same classic their own ‘preppy' look. This autumn the look ston.Atth1. ad of the battle was going on—that Button fly jeans were ele two-pleaters were cropped that was originally worn by ladder of A 7imble- of getting more people out vated to cult status as the to just above the knee. Shorts looked good in cot the Prince OfWales (no, not donmade p rung of their armchairs and onto perennial fashion favourite ton drill and neutralcolours Charlie) retained its time while buds - the our pitches, courts and cruised into 86 on the of stone, putty and grey. less elegance while gaming -one is tracks. Ever Thought Of backsides of some very hip assumptio : For more colourful clobber an Eighties twist. going to cL gh the Sport? was the slogan, and cats indeed. Sales (and the temperatures ofthefemale there were vivid Madras Re-establishing old tumstiles t. am play. it all began with a punk tot- ing a lightbulb on her head population), rocketed as checks. No points were school ties was the name of Halifax too . ,1’oney thegame as crests, badges and daft songs from Alexei 501s and Levi jean jackets scored by saving money from one I' ;o than and all manner of insignia Sayle. The aim was to get were teamed with crepe and rolling up classic two- from all 42 Vu ... -tches, pleat trousers for a shorts adorned ties and the breast sport streetwise, and show soled bower boots and col while Hart gained effect — this did the trous pockets of beautifully cut people that it's not just lared three button polo the unenvi?-. record of shirts for the look of spring ers and the circulation no blazers and sports jackets. beingthefire: • .-iubinvolved about muscles, marathons 86. favours whatsoever. Argyll socks and colourful in hooliganism this season. and money. Sunglasseswere a must for pocket handkerchieves All things American took There was a summer in A gang of Cardiff fans those wishing to take the were all hallmarks of the off— like baseball and the year somewhere. Its decided to pay a visit to the glare off particularly loud original Thirties look and gridiron — as did the mar arrival was marked, not North-East's most spartan with a spell of hot weather, Madras checks. accessorised just as well of Saturday slums, but had tial arts. And a host of smal- On cooler days knitwear this autumn as they did ler events found a few new- but with a new look to part difficulty finding a home ner the polo shirt: boxy, came into its own. Popular originally. fan to fight with. comers keen to give sport a cotton knits — the brighter Although still available in fighting chance. loose-fitting linen jacket A ripple of strawberries- and trousers. It was an the better — were selling long sleeved lambswool and-cream excitement Away from all the glam of faster than cheap flights to versions, the ubiquitous Charlie Nicholas, Nigel easy, relaxed look — done came at Wimbledon as very well by French Con warmer places polo shirt was replaced in Andrew Castle actually Mansell. Fatima Whitbread Those with a penchant the autumn by a candy or David Gower, there are nection — and it dominated won two matches. While a men's commercial fashion for a bit of fancy summer stripe shirt that had more of few months previous and a literally dozens of unsung time footwork looked no a preppy feel to it. Crisp games and players that during the year. few miles along the Loose fitting linen (& la further than the lace-up white cotton (striped with most people don't know Thames at Twickenham, Don Johnson), gave way to plimsoll in black or white. red, blue or green), was the exist. And in manyofthese England's rugby players a more tailored silhouette The safety conscious opted only thing to wear with tai sporting cul-de-sacs, out of put their mauling in New for autumn, but the classic for the sailing shoe, lored tweeds and twills, Zealand behind them and the glare of Grandstand designed to keep their both good old English fab and Tony Gubba, 1986 was two-pleat trousers, taper also won two matches. It ing to a turn up, continued wearers upright on sea rics, in autumnal shades of wasn’t enough to vanquish a great year for Britain. You to wow 'em all year long. soaked decks, sailing shoes cowpat brown and green the French, though, who might have missed our suc welly. Double breasted with garlicky Gallic flair cess in real tennis. Or row suits in Prince Of Wales took the Five Nations title ing. Or shooting. Or sailing, check were also popular. ahead of Scotland. squash and equestrianism. By October, the desig A popular little face dur Fact is, although Chris ners were already looking ing the year was Barry Ronaldson may not have ahead to 1987 and setting McGuigan. So popular, in got the same amount of the fashions that will even tact, that in the few spare coverage when he won the tually filter down to grace rnoments between kissing real tennis world title as did the shelves and rails of the babies and opening super Linford Christie when he high street shops markets he made a record. broke the tape in Athens, Well, some of them will. Frank Bruno, not to be out he’s still the best in the The Joseph Tricot collec done, dressed in a skirt and world. .. tion (with mini-skirted male recited Shakespeare for Next time you're scan- models putting their best Live Aid. Both should have stillotoed foot forward in concentrated on their box- fetching Dusty Springfield gloomSSTwS and doom headlines, | rig-outs), has yet to catch for th®ir lost fights left «yos as dented as their the sick as a parrot man- || on in Top Man. That kind of noses. The name now ager or over the moon foot- ■ outfit would really make a good talking point when fiHSfJ?10 oii th* tongue is ball transfer. Read the If rfoyd Honeyghan. who small print, the snippets. | the old snapshots of 86 are dusted down and brought like a hip-hop You'll find plenty of Brits | out in years to come! buash&n * brawny British actually winning things ■ Q LM January?967 down there I January 1987 LJVa ( 55 1986 out' seemed to be the order M3HJ release of her best ever in the US with West End of the day, and even those i Homesick Blues, Pete Beale and succeeded where their Boys. He also penned the i Girls, and maintained a tried to cash in on two sublime ManicMonday for single Borderline, a surpris militantanti-rockists Span- own material had failed, H consistent presence in the frontswith Can'tGetA Tic The Bangles. ing flop when it was first dau Ballet learned that and were followed into the charts with Love Comes ket For The World Cup and charts by London label- Whitney Houston fol released in 1984, and fol power chords and piercing Quickly, Opportunities wished he’d stuck to fruit mates The Communards lowed up last year's Saving lowed that up with three The year of not guitar solos are the easiest and the brilliant Suburbia. and veg, and Sharon and andBananarama, whohad All My Love For You with new singles of equal qual musical currencies to con Not bad for an over-age ex Kelvin's group The Banned massive hits with unin the catchy How Will I Know ity — Live To Tell, Papa vert into dollars. Gary music journalist who can't came up with Something spired versions of Don't and the anthemic Greatest Don’t Preach and True Kemp grew sideburns and l; sing for toffee. OutaNothing(well, atleast Leave Me This Way and Love Of All, and Cameo Blue. Shame about the film became a ‘mean axeman' ii With all these tame, they changed their name Venus. finally got the top ten hit though. and the LP, Through The 1 tasteful 'artists’ around, from ‘Dog Market’). Others, too, latched onto they've deserved for years Barricades contained some j f; Sigue Sigue Sputnik were The man responsible for this wheeze. Kim Wilde with Word Up. living dangerously choice examples of that old something of a welcome much of this tosh was made a worthless com Hip-hop and electro also 1 favourite, the Rousing Rock m. antidote. It sounded great Simon May, who wrote the eback with You Keep Me made significant inroads Anthem. Some soul(boy)s on paper — bring glamour, Eastenders theme tune, Hanging On, Dr And The into the charts this year. produced Human, their your face. i It wasn't a vintage year for pop music, are easily bought. fun and excitement back Nick Berry’s outrage and Medics shot to number one Run DMC almost made best single for years. Frankie resisted the m: The two closet rockers in into music, roasting raw The Banned’s single and with the dreary Spirit In heavy metal fashionable by but 1986 did have its moments. Shame the rest of the LP temptationtore-enlistTre Duran Duran, John and rock'n’roll in the white heat also scored a hit with the The Sky and even The adding their beatbox bits to w was a bit drab. vor Horn and chum out a Andy Taylor, had already Aerosmith’s Walk This RICHARD LOWE drops his beloved of technolog1,, iesigner theme from Howard's Way, Damned were at it, the ‘lov PooroldFrankiehadalot fewremakesof Two Tribes. acted out their secret violence’, 'Buy iT MT, thedrippyAlways Thereby able louts' enjoying their Way, while The Real Squire albums in horror as he remem more to do. When your ini Instead they opted for a desires to be Led Zeppelin 'Fleece The . d* etc. Marti Webb. Hang him biggest hit ever with the Roxanne combined a tial success depends so new ‘harder’ sound, paddl bers some of the tried and trusted for in their offshoot *pi v 7t\ Unfortur ■ Iputnik high. epic Eloise. wicked rap with that heavily on sensational ingin the shallow end of the dreadful Power Si., ion, stumbled ' ' rrst fence Even those zany ‘alterna The worst offenders irresistible go-go beat on ii mulas used by different acts to suc novelty value coupled with heavy metal, waving their so when The Duranr; by making . dreary tive’ comedians were at it. were Amazulu, who some the storming (Bang Zoom) ceed the combined bombastic fists in the air and 'giving it finally bothered to r.: . . e a music; th' s all The Young Ones per how managed to squeeze Let's Go Go. assault of a dramatic pro loads'. Paul dressed in Finally, let’s not forget record they came ur: - ? h ! sounded :' — a suaded Cliff Richard to join every ounce of zest out of Nor were British black ducer and a deranged pub leather and looked ‘well the fashionably funk artists completely in the the lovable flat-top and WILL Owen Paul be songwriter, rather than the cross betv veet them as they knocked the the Chi-Lites’ Too Good To licist, when your songwrit ‘ard’, while Holly looked Notorious — a bit cl’, Be Forgotten, then fol shadows, although it was anorak brigade that make remembered in years to shameless purveyor of hack ■7. B-side ano Giorgio stuffing out of his old hit ing talent’s notoriously and sounded tamer than and Simon Le Bon's no lowed it up with the stun the poppier end of the up the much-maligned come? Will anyone treasure bubble-gum pop). flimsy and when anything Moroder ?. k. Still, Living Doll, and donated all V before and seemed more of a singer thar. ck range that enjoyed the 'indie scene’, more vibrant those halcyon days when Andrew,meanwhile, has it was fun isted, the proceeds from the ningly dull Montego Bay. I less than a string of strangely out of place. Rage Berry, but definitely suppose they've got a liv most success. Billy Ocean than ever this year and a lot mind-blowing acts like already slipped comforta and great t :: media chart-topping hit to charity, unstoppable number ones Hard didn't quite get to Duran's best effort ye- ing to make but it's not had a deserved number one more interesting than Chris De Burgh and bly into the role of the Pro get all flus - 1 out- while the Spitting Image will be seen as a failure, number one. WithWham! onthe what I call an honest bob. with the unstoppable mainstream pop. The Nick Berry whip ped fessional Celebrity. He’ll ne raged abon. itSput- team pocketed the ill-got you’ll likely as not fall flat on Indeed, ‘if in doubt, rock Aseveritwastheconsis When The Going Gets Smiths dojninated the j the pop-loving public end up either blown up and Duran idle for so 1 g, nik 'hype' ten gains from their mon tently strong soul scene Tough, and Five Star indie charts with the excel into a frenzy of excitement high and wide across our the gap in the teenage Fact one .. r an be strous smash The Chicken that spawned many of the established themselves as lent Queen Is Dead LP — and shot to the top of the cinema screens — he only heart-throb market war 'hyped'w;- • iiico- Song. year's most memorable the most consistent hit- big fish in a small pond charts? needs an ounce of talent to filled by A-Ha, the most operation of... j.-.edia; Best of the TV spin-offs records. The Jam-Lewis makers of the year. Having perhaps, but they also had Probably not. but few will complement his swarthy vapid bunch of Vikings' ver they decidv & >ss on was Claire and Friends’ to invade our shores. \ th production team moulded milked their first LP Luxury respectable chart hits with forget Wham!. In an era good looks — or blown the cover, i: v two: con 'Orrible Being In Love Big Mouth Strikes Again, names like Mags and t -1 When You're EightAndA solid hits for Alexander Of Life dry after System when the kings and queens apart on a race track. trary to the ; .ojant Panic and Ask. theysoundedlikea lit of O'Neal and Cherelle and, Addict, they came up with : of middle-aged, middle They'll be sorely missed. assumption oi the media, Half, the deserving winner The Housemartina man puppies and had pret of SaturdaySuperstore's brow mediocrity (Sting, While Wham • bowed out, records do not get into the aged to break out of the Dire Straits. Phil Collins. much the same hugely entertaining Search ! their fellow giants of charts because the papers indie ghetto with their Gabnel. Palmer. Turner, Eighties pop bounced back cute’n’cuddly appeal, "hey go on about them. They get For A Superstar competi- perky-but-profound brand Stewart. Bowie. Queen) are on their fat fannies after a reached number one with into the charts whon little tion. Let’s hope she doesn't of pop. and even if their selling compact discs and year or two spent swan- the catchy Sun Always Joe and Joanne Public hear grow up to be as irritating rather twee and patronis car cassettes by the million, rung around in various tax Shines On TV hut failed to them on the radio, like them as Sam Fox, the pea ing normal-lads-from-Hull Wham! stood out. They havens. First to come cap in match this success with and buy them. They liked brained Page-Three girl image did grate a bit, they were the spirit of teenage hand for more pocket their subsequent singles, Love Missile F-ll, but could who astonishingly scored made a refreshing change pop music made flesh and money were Culture Club Train Of Thought, Hunting do without the follow-up two top ten hits with her from the standard pop fare. blood, living proof that the with the LP From Luxury To High And Low and I've because it sounded exactly appalling 'erotic'-disco-for- Not so lucky, but just as mmmage of trash and Heartache — an apt title in Been Losing You. Whatever the same. moronic-Sun-readers. deserving were The Shop panache could be one of the bght of later events. did happen to Kajagoogoo Unfortunately it is possi If it wasn’t a TV spin-off, Assistants, The Soup Dra splendid perfection. The single Move Away, a anyway? ble to hype a film, and the every other record seemed gons, The Mighty Lemon Wham! may have been retread of the familiar Cul A-Ha had much in com poor punters had to fork out to be either an oldie or a ^ Drops and The Wooden- crass, tacky at times (sub ture Club sound, was a mon with fellow newcom their money and discover cover version. Sam Cooke s tops; I'm sure their time tlety was never their moderate success, but the ers Owen Paul, It Bites, for themselves that Abso Wonderful World and Mar will come. The Jesus And trademark) and also clum follow-up. the pleasant (if Cutting Crew and Belouis lute Beginners was crap. vin Gaye's Heard It Mary Chain finally toned sily derivative, but they rather mawkish) God Some and their shop-soiled Still, it gave David Bowie Through The Grapevine down the feedback on Just came up with some classic Thank You Woman, was a predecessors Howard enough exposure to ensure both enjoyed a fresh romp Like Honey, which slipped records. Unfortunately flop and probably acceler Jones and Nik Kershaw a number one hit for his through the charts on the into the charts behind their 1986 offering. The ated George's downfall It (the twin ugly sisters of pop grandiose theme tune. back of the Levi's 501 Radio l's back, while the Edge Of Heaven, wasn't was sad that one of the * God knows how they ever Indeed, it seems that adverts, Lulu re-recorded quaintly titled We've Got A on# ol them; its ‘yeah, roost witty, colourful and became *pin-ups’). most of the records in the Shoutl and made an unex Fuzzbox And We're Gonna yeah* jaununesssounded a ch&ruung characters in pop Together they all formed a chart either had the grim pected return to the top Use It almost had a hit nut# contrived, which of turned out to be just glut of colourless, anonym* 'from the soundtrack ten. while three of the Real despite the gleeful misuse course it was another bloated, drugged - cus acts successfully of... 'warning stamped on Thing's hits from ten years of said instrument on their By now Wham* were up 'rock star' — Keith peddling bland, character the sleeve or were dodgy ago (Can't Get By Without XX Sex EP. Richard in a kimono — but You, You To Me Are Every less contemporary pop TV spin-offs. Eastenders more notably, Janet Best of the bunch, atonal* and only pret ending that s the crazy world of targeted at maximum radio was the worst culprit. First thing and Can You Feel The Jackson, who put together — Silk And Steel — a fresh though, were Half Man to be th# t#«nage tear a show bit lor you Force7) resurfaced in the play and tailored to suit the we had Anita Dobson's a string of hits with What collection of inoffensive Half Biscuit, whose bitter wsys naively whooping it Th# Human League. charts for no specific reason lowest common nauseatingly sloppy ver Have You Done For Me and annoyingly catchy pop rants about obscure TV up that lh#y once wbo'd been messing about denominator of taste. sion of the theme tune, and other than outstanding Lately, Nasty and When 1 songs, ideal for the radio or personalities were hilari genuinely were. Clearly » for around two years re Dangerously close to then Nick Berry, with a Think Of You. the disco. So far the LP has ous. It's a formula that'll no w«a tune to try something writing, r#-recording and A cover version of an old Planoing out and blending voice more feeble than a The veteran ‘Godfather spawned Can't Wait doubt get more tiresome new George's solo single x#-nuxmg then new LF mto this morass of medjoc- crossroads plot, shot to the favourite in always a cheap, Of Soul’ James Brown Another Minute and Rain than Jimmy Tarbuck but — the moody A Different Crash, fared somewhat safe way for an act lacking [-Y v.ere The Blow Mon top of the charts with his wooed a whole new gener Or Shine. it's fun while it laBts. Any* — was much more better on then return ode to the jilted Lofty. in imagination and a decent Right nowonlyMadonna one with a song called All I he keys. who nevertheless ation with Living In Teaming up with Jimmy Every Loser Wins. song of their own to revive America and Gravity, while can match them for consis Want For Christmas Is A destined to fill the mehe Jam and Terry Lewis (the came up with the charming Lofty himself, in his real- a sagging career. The Prince consolidated his tency, and not surprisingly Dukla Prague Away Kit which the cntics have been hippest hottest producers m D:73ir.g Your Scene, and We guw* ol Tom Watt har. device was put to wide itwasanotherbumperyear deserves to have their own eo eager to carve out for turn ;V‘ tr.e p«t Shop Boys the cntical reputation with his m Christendom) turned out noured musical ambitions spread use this year. The for her. She opened this TV show. How could any ®OK mccestfuJ new shows at Wembley and the to be an inspired move and Fine Young Cannibal* one prefer Owen Paul? * cnti*n act of the year who and released a version of singles Kiss and Girls And year's account with the re- Bob Dylan's Subt revived Suspicious Minds ^ Bumber one he re and erranean January 1987 LM □ 57 i ■» - ' f* crest blew it, but they like a winner. .. couldn’t go wrong with As does David their next one, could they? Puttnam’s appointment as Absolute Beginners was a the top studio executive at musical set in Soho during Columbia Pictures. the late Fifties, with a Puttnam, the first Brit ever soundtrack by the likes of to hold such a senior posi The Style Council, Sade and tion, has already indicated Absoli David Bowie. Sure, it was a that he’s keen to get lively movie, directed with started on a sequel to great gusto by Julien Tem Ghostbusters and that he’ll ple (definitely a man to be sending plenty of work watch); the problem was to British studios. that the kids hated it. Back home, the Cannon The hopes of Goldcrest Films buy-out of Thom EMI beginningi now rest upon The Mission, Screen Entertainment and personally I can’t see brought forth a lot of racist how a film about Jesuits CURTIS HUTCHINSON slips into the buy a book or eat a meal. nonsense from people and Indians getting it within the industry, but the upper circle—and why not?—to look Salivating entrepreneurs together two luuidred have watched the progress new owners are hardly With all this death and back at a cinematic year of blood, of Milton Keynes with years ago in ll Colombian asset-strippers. Menahem destruction on tap it was - jungle could Sounds Golan and Yoram Globus action, discomfort and a new Aussie interest and put in bids to rather pleasing that more build multiplexes all over have already shown their worthy movies like The superstar. the country. The first of commitment to shooting Color Purple, Hannah And : these opens in Salford this movies over here, starting Her Sisters and Mona Lisa ■ month with Slough and with Superman IV, and found an audience. THE lights go down. The see a film is on a big screen High Wycombe following f ambitiously plan to drag Sequelitis continued to : music crackles over the in a cinema equipped with next year. their newly acquired ABC rage unabated from the sound system, the guy 70mm and Dolby stereo Well, there’s the good circuit into the Eighties. downright awfulness of behind is discussing the facilities. The problem is news, something in short Like the bloodthirsty Police Academy m to the intricacies of his souped-up that British cinemas are, by supply in 86 — especially Romans who flocked to mediocrity of The Jewel Of ; Cortina, the girl in front has and large, cold, dirty and watch gladiators beat the The Nile and the sheer around the palatial West shit out of each other, decided to swap places uncomfortable, not the sort End offices of Goldcrest, bravado of Aliens. Other with her beefcake boy of places where you’d while cinema audiences in 86 also-rans included Pol- the pioneering British film opted for action, ketchup friend, the nerd alongside away a couple of hours in company behind such tergeist n, Karate Kid U, A opens his first packet of the hope of being enter- and more action. Hence the Nightmare On Elm Streetn, gems as Gandhi, Dance success of Arnold Schwar- crisps; scratchy adverts for tained. Small wonder that With A Stranger and A The Return Of The Living the local curry house. Six attendance is plummeting zenegger’s tongue-in- Dead and Psycho m. Room With A View. With cheek (though ridiculously ties fashions and Kia-Ora as video rentals soar. three biggies poised for Movies are sounding more flash onto the screen fol This could all change as a violent) Commando and the and more like football release, 1986 was going to brilliantly-shot Top Gun (an lowed by a trailer for the result of the successful be Goldcrest’s year. scores these days. latest Stallone nasty, then opening earlier this year of airborne remake of An Offi- Closer to home, Roger It wasn’t. The miscon- cer And A Gentleman, a heartfelt plea from rent-a- Britain's first ten-screen ceived Revolution kicked Moore's protestations that celebrity for the charity of cinema complex in Milton , which in turn was a remake he had too made his last 007 the week. up a ferocious critical storm of something else). The Keynes. Multiplexes have both sides of the Atlantic movie were finally taken The lights go up. The col been popular in Europe and man who emerged with the seriously and we have a and didn't stay around long ■ most blood on his hands lection tin is passed round. America for some time, bas- enough to be seen. Okay, it new James Bond in the dis- Everyono dips begrudg ically because they provide 1 J was, predictably enough, tinguished stage (though was a ’quality' movie VI Sylvester Stallone in both undistinguished film) actor ingly into their pockets for an ideal environment for aimed, rather vaguely, at a the loose change they were movie-watching: comfy post-teen audience. Gcld- F/ Rocky IV and Cobra. Timothy Dalton, who's saving for the bus trip currently shooting the chairs, steep rakes, good twenty-fifth-anniversary home. Punters who just 20 sound and first-rate projec minutes ago wore braving tion. What's more, you can ts Mission Bond movie, The Living the elements in a slow- have a drink afterwards. Daylights. moving quoue now decido Pop stars making prats of they need a Choc Ice. The themselves included Sid in Bright age lights go down again, the Sid And Nancy, Prince in first latecomers make Under The Cherry Moon, themselves known, and the Bowie in Labyrinth and NICK STEPHENS rewinds and casts a whole sorry show gels Madonna in Shanghai Sur- under way. prise. Film stars making flickering eye over the cleaner face of There’s no gettmg away prats of themselves video during 1986 from it: the best place to included A1 Pacino in Revolution, Louis Gossett Jr in Enemy Mine, Sean VIDEO nasties, cowboy sed by The House Of Com- Connery and Christopher video dealers and the dirty mons earlier this year), Lambert in Highlander, mac brigade have all contri- went a long way towards Michael Caine in anything buted to the tardy image lmproving video's image and Barry Norman in Spit that video has managed to The Bright bill — which ting Image, and why not... acquire in its short but hec- came into effect on 1 Sep- ? tic career. tember — stipulates that New stars? Well, there’s Thankfully a clean-up every video available tor yim Basinger who made a campaign is under way and rental rfhjst have a BBFC lasting impression in the we're beginning to see (British Board of Film Con- upmarket skinflick 9Vi some results. The British sors) certificate. ■ Weeks: there were also the Videogram Association It may have improved the interchangeable pretty boy (BVA) and the Federation industry image, but the bill pin-ups Rob Lowe and Tom Against Copyright Theft was a nightmare for local Cruise, but the surprise (FACT—a close relative to video dealers. It's been new superstar has to be the computer software estimated that due to the Paul Hogan, whose industry's FAST) have been bill the average video Crocodile Dundee has making great strides to dealer lost roughly £2,500 become Australia's biggest improve the industry, while worth of stock, and had to export since, well, the Graham Bright bill (pas- Tostexs • • January 1987 L.IWI □ 99 m ; 1986 spend countless painstak QUASI-CLASSIC AL music, The experiment has amusements on New ing hours sifting through a murky alley, people run achieved decent viewing Year’s Eve is to catch up on the racks of cassettes, put ning down fire-escapes, a figures, and other ITV reg the latest dance sensations ting little sticky labels here, jukebox, steam, smoke, col ions are likely to follow suit. sweeping the country. I there and everywhere. oured lights, flashing neon Aimed at the young adult, Recently we've had the The problem was that .. . and that was just the Music Box is pure pop pap, NELSON'S ChoufMountainQuickstep, 1 because videos released opening titles. but at least it's the start of the Howzdeh Marshes s before 1 September didn't The Tube was back with Ranting PAUL STRANGE examines the youth TV something better. London Mustard Gas Boogie, the have to be certificated, a new look, a new feel and Weekend Television, for Chernobyl Charleston and many weren't. And as some an adjusted format, but you predicament during 86, while ROD POWELL example, is planning Night the Restricted Waters Jit of the companies who could have fooled me. Owl (an 'upmarket style terbug in which everyone released them have since looks at possible future developments COLUH There was the muttering, magazine' programme) As seen through the eye pretends they are frogmen gone under, there's no one spluttering Holland, the that will run until 4 am. being depth-charged by around to pay for their cer hearty, tarty Yates and the In fact, round-the-clock of KEVIN PILLEY the Swedes. tification (an expensive new dullard Wendy May. It television could soon be Last, but not least, procedure since the BBFC was all of it much of a much upon us. The BBC launched BEDAD! there’s the SDP wardance. is not cheap)' ness and much of it much its daytime schedule a Strap me across a can It’s called The Fizzle and is non's mouth and blow my popular among large num Hi. Also, some of the uncer- the same. Like the whole of couple of months ago, but tificated movies from the the year’s output for the true to form they totally vitals to the four winds if I bers of primitive people. big companies were so old under-30s, The Tube was ignored the youth market. lie! Give me a taste of the I am only joshing. it was decided that it was another series in a series, Other than the Clothes cat if I exaggerate) Everyone enjoyed them selves this year. That’s all pointless to push them another re-run, another Show, there's nothing of New Year’s Eves sure get that matters. All except through the rigorous BBFC best-of. another repeat interest unless you’re ting better every year. I those clods in front of the assault course because showing, another hacked- retired (physically or men should know. I’ve been at thelast 140 ofthebuggers, South African Embassy they were no longer selling. up. jacked-up pile of toss. tally), and yet there are Thus many local hire-shops thousands on the dole who I thought I’d seen it all, over the way. What a miser Channel Four ran out of able bunch of Boers! A 24- offered a bargain bin of ex- ideas in 86: Saturday Live could benefit from sensible but this year’s little shindig was wilder than the cur hour vigil they call it. rental cassettes for £5 each. had an end-of-year come daytime youth program rents off Santa Cruz and Haven't they got anything Budget films also rocked back, but only after an ming. : noisier than the Battle Of better to do? Zola what's it the rental outlets. At the unnecessary and tedious There’s more to come: Copenhagen. I’ll eat my hat summed it up when they end of last year, entrep repeat of the first series. Superchannel will be launchednextyear. Acom if I’m wrong. asked her if she missed reneur Steve Ayres got his Hardly a rivetting prog peoplebackhome. She said bined effort between the It was Bedlam. It beg- ’ W Video Collection off the ramme at the best of times, she didn't because she's ground. Ayres bought up BBC, ITV and Richard (not gared description beyond v» the show relied heavily on that. You could hardly draw \v‘ got a steady hand and a the rights to a couple of again) Branson, it'll be third-rate alternative per a cutlass because the good gun. hundred films that were, formers. dodgy, stodgy, beamed via a satellite at I don't go in much for poli Europe. Unfortunately crowds were so big. like his videos, going podgy Yank comedians and There were thousands tics. I try to rise above it. Yet cheap, and in a few short Ben Elton's 'rad' satire. Not Superchannel won’t offer it grieves me exceedingly much that’s new, particu upon thousands of them. months he'd had them dup a convincing recipe for suc From all over the world they that the world is still run by licated into VHS, packaged, cess. larly if you're already this Reagan object. Brains receiving Music Box via a came, like rats to a com-bin, shelved up in Wooiies and The Tube replacements to run up the Jolly Roger, of a musketbalL selling for the (then) —SolidSoul, Revidand The local cable station. I And this palsy-walsy Cable has been regularly quaff the rum barrel and, in 'v revolutionary pnce of just Chart Show — were pretty Comment allez-vous with panned by British critics. true nautical fashion, booz £6 99 a piece. They sold in damn dull too. Sohd Soul the Frogs so we can build Often described as ‘too ily bid God-speed to the . their thousands specialised in poor presen year of our Lord 1986. an undersea tunnel bet Lb 99 a piece They sold in late' and ‘too expensive', ween the two countries is a tation. appalling miming, the criticisms are a trifle Lumme, how time flies! their thousands. and archive clips with It seems only yesterday kick in the plinth for people Since that time, Channel unfair Recently — at like me who fought for King sycophantic and moronic Westminster Cable's first that I was lying in the arms 5 Video Masterpieces, of my loyal friend and most ' and country, keeping them audiences gyrating seduc birthday party — it was ) Warner Home Video, RCA/ tively in front ofthecamera trusted non-venereal sub and their bloody smelly apparent that the 15 or so * snails at bay. If it had not Columbia and several Ternfic ordinate Mr Hardy on the cable channels offer a far been for some stunning smaller companies have Revid was even worse deck of my beloved flag climbed aboard the cheapo wider choice than any of us acts of intrepid bravery on (cocky, chirpy Crowley and could have imagined, and ship and uttering those charabanc The year saw famous departing words, the behalf of the Royal Navy a nerd of a baboon babbling it’s an area that’s bound to films like Eraserhead, ’This is another fine mess (God bless her closing inanely about recent vids). increase. docks), Napoleon would be Merry Christmas Mr Lawr but fortunately The Chart you have gotten me into'. ence. Christiana F. Dirty Earlier this year ITV The untameable spirits of accuse me of being a bit at the helm of this nation Show had a few saving released some research today. On second thoughts, ■ Harryand several Thunder- youth know no brake. What aloof and stuck up and I graces By using fast for- figureswhichrevealed that Inrds movies all on sale lor a time they had carousing know quite a few people perhaps she is. ward-'rewrnd techniques 17-20-year-olds believe TV Asyears go, 1986wasn’t under -a-tetmer into the early hours of the think I am just a big poseur, and avoiding human pre has a greater impact than thatbad actually. I lostabit On the hardware side, new year. What a debauch! but if you were in my posi senters, it injected new any other media form. The more hair and my cheeks 8mm video has continued Some must have awoken tion who wouldn't be? pace into the sterile figures were based around grew a little more sunken, to grow (but still hasn't the following morning feel There’s nothing wrong medium of pop TV, present exposure to (and recall of) but that's wind erosion for blossomed), while Fergu ing as if their bowels were with posing anyway. The ing a diverse mixture of commercials. With the you. You are asking for it son and Hitachi have intro spring-loaded. What a birds love it. As a well- mdio, HM. soul, and chart repeat showings that some known and terrifically 150 foot above Trafalgar duced VTRs with built-in night! videos with the emphasis of this year's better exam handsome London land Square. timers programmed to Of course I'm used to firmly placed on the music driver for the youth market ples of television advertis markyou've gottogetused I'm looking forward to record from the mlta red staying up quite late every and its performers Saturday morning TV ing have had — Levi's to having birds crawling all lots of things in 87: jobs, ■; While they’re at it, night so the crowds didn't remote control handset Channel 4 had already remains a slimy heap of jeans, Griff Rhys Jones/ over you. I can't help it. I cheaper housing, a Health And VH5-C cam corders perhaps they could also disturb me too much. It only pioneered alternative pop dung Saturday Superstore mg by preenmg dullards. Holstein Pils, Elton John/ stand out in a crowd. It's Service that works, unilat tvideo cameras into which give No Limits the heave- IN WHAT has definitely happens once a year, so I eral disarmament, 20 years presentation with The Max is identical to the last senes 7.000.000viewers stilltune been a bad year for youth Cadbury's, Tina Turner/ called presence. You’ve you put a small VHS cas ho. Limp, insipid, wet, and suppose they are entitled on since Sgt Pepper and ! Headroom Show A second (it might ;ust have been mto it every week Incredi- programmes, it was Pepsi Cola—it's hardly sur either got it or you haven’t. sette) have been selling like a bloody good excuse to nip to kick up a bit of a din and that new youth magazine senes of the stuttering repeated, no-one would j hie encouraging to see a few prising (to coin an old let their hair down. The Prince Consort hot cakes schizoid failed to know the difference), while out for a beer. No Limits is cliche), that the commer Albert, down at Kensington with the funny cover. Yes, As 86 rolls to a close it | And then there’s Vfhistle without doubt the v/orst developments which gave Naturally I would have it's going to be a good one. materialise in 86 (he was j 1 TVs Get Fresh is ' rest, a show that persists cials have more impact Gore, has got it. Did you iiKiks as though the great TV programme ever a glimmer of hope for the loved to have joined in all If not, I suppose I'll just probably too busy doing j decided}* stale even future. than the programmes they know that Queen Victoria format war is over JVC s with mmole-aged presen- created —apart from 3,2,1. the fun and games, but have to turn a blind eye. Radio Rentals commercials | though presenter Gaz Top Richard Branson got his separate. commissioned the statue VHS format has finally | ters and dead-beat Seven- that's the way it goes. As a and Coca Cola ads in the \ puts m a sterling perfc: • ties idols The addition of j That's My Dog and The feetfirmlyunderthebroad There’s still no youth just to see what Albert emerged as the triumphant | L*te Late Breakfast Shov/■ 180 ton granite statue you States), although the show { mance 1 Andy Kershaw and P,o casting table as Music Box channel, no daytime slot for have to accept your limita would have looked like if he victor while Sony's Ghastly, amateurish and is due to retut n in February | Top Of The Pops cca- Newton has give the prog (the Virgin-owned pop young adults, and no tions. It's easy to make a had been Jamaican? Betamax (itomcailv a much I'-st plain naff. No Limns is 87 Wonderful I Unues to spew out excre ramme a muchneeded kick video cable channel) national all-night television dick of yourself. As a keen student of better format'■ has come j * T-antuncontrollable vehi Without strong competi ment every Thursday -P the fours, but the Eeeb became a sole source of orientated towards the I like to keep myself to human nature and current cle for Jonathan King's affairs, one of my favourite out of it all bruised and tion from Channel 4 u s no night Despite the cretin I £-*-- —c consider a total and programme material for all- undor-30s, but a few vital myself. Some people might more a sing ego. We don't bloody wonder that the Eeeb and ous dee;ays. mediocre : utter re vamp or drop the night-telly in Yorkshire. steps wore taken this year Terrific j ITV continue to churn cut music and abysmal mum- : hug ger tobaL'y r.eeo and v/e certainly January 1987 L.M □ 61 I don't need him. ■ 1 GO o LM January 196' u CfiRfStflKS Affd the HeM ifeaft v \ iVi<2«. » /X •'T* © / 5 S j N What does Christmas mean to you? V i ;^r s J# fun at Christmas and chil Do you care? Well RICHARD LOWE does, W J )l N. dren who get the rawest ■. y deal. It starts sometime in I and here he examines the real mid-November, when parents suddenly realise i meaning of Christmas. that the presents they’re Wfmi buying for their cherished . offspring give them a i strong strategic advantage .ya& in the skirmishes of family life. l v J); Immediately the parents 1 T TV- j launch a campaign of fien ' / i’ dish bribery. The poor . A \ mites pay a rich ransom for !; their promised Tonka toys, m Rambo machine guns and ✓ / / BMX bikes. Any hint of mis - % chief or disobedience is s 'M countered with the familiar 4 U i veiled threats: ‘Father \ fh r ; Christmas doesn’t come to * children who call their m :§ mother a bossy old witch .Ty-n t if ■ display in the shops and with worms for hair and a 1 looks vaguely festive will face like a pig’, or ’if you be snapped up by eager don’t eat your nice spinach- i punters. and-stewed-prune cas h Shopkeepers aren't serole guess who won’t be r dumb. They know that no- coming to visit’. one ever has a clue what to True, the kids have been . buy anyone else for Christ rooting through mummy's mas, and they know that if wardrobe, making detailed Cr they market anything prop inspections of all the 1 M V' 9 erly (ie make sure the wrap goodies coming their way, /.• ping depicts either a sprig but that does nothing to Tvls.i FORGET all you’ve been Rail, the fella who invented n \; N of holly, a robin or a pud lessen the threat — they told: Father Christmas Trivial Pursuit, taxi drivers, r ■ a ding dripping with white know the rules governing ! really does exist, and he’s a postmen, dustbinmen. pop *' * sauce) some mug will buy the return of goods, and much more sinister and stars, priests, parfumiers. 3 % L>"' it. And it's the perfect they saw the receipts in her mysterious figure than pudding makers, and. last opportunity to unload on purse that time they were legend has fooled us into but not least, the manufac i the public, stupefied by ‘counting her money'. of misers spend money as if And after the weeks of believing. turers, distributors and they’ve been told that any sentiment and desperation, For a start, he chooses to retailers of handkerchiefs all the crap that's been sel impeccable behaviour, the left over on 2 January will day itself is even worse. bestow his plentiful bounty (particularly those who be confiscated by the ling like condoms in a nun not on those angelic, trade in sets of three), ties, nery all year. Hordes of elderly relatives Treasury, boiling passion •V suddenly descend on the deserving children who are gloves and socks :■1 When else would anyone and fier>’ lust surface in the Jesus Christ. But the 'Put house to patronisingly pat obedient and well-behaved Father Christmas is no: a most timid and frigid of cre o buy socks, or cranberry all year and who go to bed kind old man with a white Christ Back Into Xmas' sauce, or books of any the little ones on the head, atures and suddenly the campaigners have more on tell them how much they’ve especially early on Christ beard, a fur-trimmed red meanest, most miserable, %\ \ description, or Baileys Irish mas Eve so mummy and coat, a sledge, a sack, a their hands than persuad Cream, or Slade singles, or grown, give them laugha unfriendly bastards turn ing the great British public m&i driving gloves? (I have a bly unsuitable gifts and daddy can get on with that crack team of elves and into models of cheer, good wrapping they've been to spell a word of more than % rs. — theory that this mysterious chomp their way through reindeers and a knack for will and generosity. five letters correctly. Y putting off for threo weeks shinning down chimneys f product ‘driving gloves' all the chocolates and The Father Christmas For, despite our vocifer 0 was invented by some sweets (including personal and bugger off to the pub that have been blocked up syndromeexplains whywe i while there's still room to ous protestations to the bright spark solely to fill Selection Boxes) in the since the Blitz All that was all start decorating our contrary. Britain is no house; the Queen'sspeech breathe and time to get leg afib :■ that gap in the Christmas houses and High Streets is compulsory, and escap less. In fact. Father Christmas with coloured lights and longer a Christian country, market loosely defined as No, his beneficiaries aie and while a majority may ' si, * Seven Deadly Sins. And ‘something for Dad/Uncle ing to play with friends is is the code-name (coined by gaily-festooned fir trees, pay lip-service to the Herbert' — one of the out of the question. less deserving but a team of top psychologists j why we buy unwanted pre- anyone who doesn't clock nevertheless grateful Church Of England, only 15 up impressive scores in the simplest and cleverest cons As for the poor kids in who’ve been looking into j cents for our friends and per cent of the British 6 ever devised.) hospital, they have to con department-stores, publi categories of Gluttony, the phenomenon) for a sud- j family, why we feel a sud tend with all the minor cans. restaurateurs, off- den bout of inexplicable den urge to be reunited j Cans" * *** practism3 Chris- Covetousness, Lust and But the cruellest con of licences. nightclubs, toy madness that grips us all Sloth might as well change Christmas is played on chil celebrities who come manufacturers, brewers, with distant relatives, why If Christmas were just a regular churchgoer, but their name by deed poll to dren. Invariably Christmas crawling out of the wood every year toward the end we give money to chanties religious feast, it weild £ Christmas is special isn’t it, work and into the wards at distillers, tree-rustlers, of December Ebenezer Scrooge. is a time for the most glar lewellers. purveyors of han and people who come and ; a tiny minority festival bv all the atmosphere and If Marx were alive today ing hypocrisy (a sudden Christmas. It’s bad enough The Father Christmas sing on our front doorsteps. now. meriting a small item // singing — it’s better than being in hospital as it is, gover cures and indigestion syndrome can be more it wouldn't be religion that pious concern for the poor, tablets, curd manufactur 1 before launching ourselves i on News At Ten and the Last Night Of The he’d call 'the opiate of the elderly, and lonely, for without being plagued by specifically defined as a j wholeheartedly into an perhaps a special bumper Proms’) should really look instance), but there’s none the likes of Timmy Mallet ers, record companies, sudden malfunction o! the people', but that most mod book publishers, television j orgy of alcohol and nch food • edition of Songs Of into making a token ges em of mass devotions, more guilty than the and Paul King, armed to the normal restraints and ar.d then sufferingcold tur - ; It isrj t even the m-s* companies. Slade, wrap 1 ture at Easter. Rabid Consumerism. parents who pronounce, teeth with Cabbage Patch inhibitions that govern out keyrauitheantb* ' :®pcrtamda»ta«S?Lto. Christian devotion at Dolls. ping-paper and gift-tag behaviour', and the Instead of putting in the through mouths stuffed makers, the Post Office 81 Iv ew ^a- tun calendar. the rest Christmas has become the ritual appearance at mid with truffles and choco So this year, while you’re symptoms are familiar to us .he Chmtmas caper has j uon of Christ :s far SSte ' copping off at the office Fisher Price, Pmbtoy and the all . v quaint quirk of a small night mass, we should all lates, that they ‘only bother rest of that evil syndicate Its roots of course in a : fundamental to the '*:th minority. For the rest of us. be flocking to a special two- with Christmas for the sake party, getting bladdered in FHiais of sobriety down reupous least and many tiun Hu birth. Tbos^ who Christian virtues tend to the pub, and generally mis the VAT men, butchers, enough sweet sherry and hour edition of The Price Is of the kids'. bakers and probably even stul ding forlornly to the make the j annual a-Wr stay in the back seat as we Right, because at Christ The truth is that it’s the behaving, spare a thought port and lemon to guaran novion that what we are aii ance at ch ■ ■ jr> grown-ups who get all the for the children. candlestick makers, Bnush ty* cirrhosis, the thriftiest J engage in a shameless mas. anything that’s put on celebrating is the birth of ^ day not a pagan romp through the 62 □ LM January 1967 January 1987 L.M □ 63 L% . J I: Circuit training MARTIN SUTTON slips with unseasonal reluctance into the stalls for this year’s Christmas films WHAT no Crimble much better in Mel Brooks’ backyard. Nice idea, shame Aptly enough, Real Genius blockbusters? similar Young Frankens about the way it’s con is the most intelligent and Traditionally Christmas tein. structed. unpatronising of them. has always been the period For something more orig If you do need a dose of With a good script and bril when the distributors inal, try Crocodile Dundee the heavies, you can do bet liant performances, it's eventually unleash the big (15), a blockbuster Aussie ter. Smooth Talk (15) is about a group of teen scien gies they've been teasing comedy which has been about a teenage girl, grow tific eggheads getting their packing * emindownunder ing away from her parents, brains picked by militaristic us with for most of the year. authorities. The balance Surprisingly there are no and Stateside. Paul Hogan who invites the attentions Spielberg or Disney epics plays a rough but honest of a half-crazed rapist. It between hilarity and outback croc-hunter who evokes small-town teen message is fairly well sus this time, no eagerly tained, though it’s fair to awaited sequels or any braves a visit to the streets boredom very nicely, but the suggestion that she carp at the lack of even one thing resembling a Back To of New York City. The inno interesting female charac The Future or Ghostbus- cent abroad scenes and deserves her fate is less intelligent. ter. Labyrinth has twice the ters. In fact apart from Fosters lager-style humour pretensions, many times Labyrinth (which left our are pretty corny, but Hogan Don’t be put off by Twice In A Lifetime (15), the story the budget, and works only very own David Currie rises above it as a tongue- half as well (see review in unimpressed), there’s not in-cheek superhero in of a married man (Gene Hackman, in great form) main Bowie feature). that many traditional, fam leather hat and smglet. Explorers — director Joe ily films on release this A good creepy horror who falls for another movie is always a useful woman on hia 50th birth Dante's first film since Christmas day. It’s funny, tender and Gremlins — is an eye-pop- Most of the national cir corrective to too much fes ping Spielberg-style space cuit appears to be clogged tive goodwill. Critters (15) sure puts oldsters in a new light. epic which triumphs by up with unseasonal heavy is just the job, and reminis being totally off-the-wall. cent of the marvellous Best of all, though, is a dramas, many of which jazz drama called Round The three teenage heroes, wouldn’t be welcome at Gremlins. The creatures of and the aliens they closely the title are furry balls of Midnight (15). It’s all anytime of the year, let smokey Paris cellar bars, encounter, are outsiders to alone Christmas. fanged ferocity who flee their respective worlds. from another planet to seedy hotel rooms, a bril What's going on? Have liant though alcoholic This is the full version, the distributors forgotten beseige a cute, white- unlike the video now on painted mid-Westem far saxophonist, and music the fine art of attracting which will have you dust release, so see it at the spend-crazy consumers to mhouse. Definitely worth cinema seeing. ing off your old man’s LPs. the box-office? It moves slowly, like an old Well, there you have it. Is Of the lighter films that Less recommended, but it to be Norman Bates on still good, is Psycho 3 (18). blues number, but hang on are around, check out Gene in there as this one is the taxidermy, a holiday harem Wilder's new horror spoof Just when you thought it in the Atlas Mountains, an really was safe to go back bizz. , Haunted Honeymoon {PG). Finally, Real Genius (15), alcoholic saxophonist on It has a few good one-liners, in the shower, Norman the Left Bank or hi-tech Bates dusts off his knife, re Labyrinth (U), and Explor though it was all done ers (U) are aimed at the Muppets? Or can you take stuffs mom, and opens the the lot? I doubt it. Everyone's typical macho Aussie honcho, crocooile ouhdee Is played motel again. This time indistinct ‘youth’ market. by Paul Hogan. around, Anthony Perkins gets to wield the knife and sit in the director’s chair. explorers — a cuddly alien takes a peek. Gadzooksl Of the heavy dramas, Kangaroo (PG) is a rather flat, over wordy adaptation of D H Lawrence's thrown together novel, based on his stay in Australia in 1922. Once again, Lawrence proves a boring old fart, expounding on sex and soc iety as if he understood either. Just as stodgy —like wading through cold por ridge — is Nataisja Kinski in Harem (15). A modern- day white slave trade tale which is offensive all round, it proves that Ms Kinski needs acting lessons immediately. A little more interesting is Eat The Peach (PG), an off-beat Irish comedy/ drama featuring a down-at- heel biker who builds a wall of death at tho end of his 69 But LM's ROUGH GUIDE travel team still manage to find their way around the ski slopes of Europe. JOHN FISHER reports on the before, during and apres-ski VEN if you don't know your piste from your stem Christie, or wedelling from schnapps, a short ska trip can create a convert for life. It’s a thrill which, as any skier will tell you, no other sport can match. It's also the best known means of coming home with a great tan in the § middle of February. Trouble is, it's probably also the most expen sive form of entertainment devised since the three card trick. You may see From £45 flashed across the front of all the brochures - but don't for a moment believe that you can really ski for that little (see Hidden Costs). £200 a week would be more realistic once you've added in skis and other special gear and all the food and drink you'll get through once there. Even to do this you'll need to study the brochures carefully and to resist the powerful temptation of ski shops full of wind-tunnel tested, fully-lined mink underwear. So what do you really need? Skis and boots obviously — but these you'll hire when you arrive. It's a waste of money buying them if you're just starting out and there's no advan tage to hiring before you leave — it won’t be any cheaper, you'll have to lug heavy equip ment halfway across Europe, and you won't be able to change the boots when they turn out not to fit. As for clothes, try and borrow them. If you know anyone who skis this is easier than you might think — ski gear is fairly baggy so exact sizes don't matter too much, and all skiers feel secretly guilty about spending fortunes on silly clothes they only wear once a year. The important thing is to stay warm (and dry) even when the weather turns really rough. A good anorak — preferably one that does up high round your neck and has loads of pockets — is essential; but it doesn't have to be one made specifically for skiing. Make it big so you can cram plenty of layers underneath. Trousers do need to be special—best are the big quilted dungaree-type salopettes. These may look stupid but they're warm, comfortable and the padding comes into its own when you land in the snow twentieth time around. Decent gloves are important too — hefty leather or plastic bikers' or skiers' jobs. And you shouldn't venture out onto the snow without sunglasses (better than goggles except when there's a blizzard), the strongest sun tan cream n you're prepared to rough It In the often Utterly cold you can buy (at this altitude the rays bum even and windy weather, then Avlemore can work out very through cloud) and a woolly hat. Thus equipped you’re ready to go, and the cheap. only outstanding question is where. And how? All the countries where you can ski have per- t> January 1987 LM □ 6T of their own; France super-efficient, modem not much to choose between all the package 6HR; 0532 434077) offer both these: Campus and charmless; Austria for olde worlde charm tour operators, but it is worth comparing which Travel {52 Grosvenor Gardens, London, SWl and bonhomie in the bars; Switzerland out is best value for the place you want to go at the and at USIT student travel offices in Bristol, rageously expensive and flooded with the time you want to go—they all have slightly dif Oxford, Manchester, Liverpool, Glasgow and beautiful people; Italy cheaper and friendlier, ferent ideas on what are high and low seasons. Dundee) are if anything even better value, and but with rickety old run-down lifts. These The cheapest deals mostly involve travelling by aimed particularly at young people. Other good alpine countries have been at it for years; now overnight coach, not particularly comfortable cheap deals from Tentrek {152 Maidstone Rd, a generation of ski countries are baying at their but abigmoneysaverovertheplane. Looktoo RuxleyComer, Sidcup, Kent, DA14 5HS; 01-302 heels and in terms ofprice giving them a for all-in beginners’ packages which include 6426); Top Deck {64 Kenway Rd, London, SW5; thoroughly hard time. Pyrennean skiing in equipment hire, ski school and a lift pass, and 01-373 5095) and Ski Lovers {11 Liston Court, Andorra and Spain, Balkan slopes in Yugoslavia for companies which charge no extra for depar High St, Marlow, Buckinghamshire, SL7 1ER; and Romania, even a Highland fling in Avie- tures from your local airport/coach station. 06284 76991). Or for a more consciously ‘fun’’ more can prove better deals these days. atmosphere try Club 18-30, Freestyle or Ski Once you’ve studied the small print, there's NAT {Holiday House, Domestic Rd, Leeds, LS12 Youngworld. tradition: very pretty, lots of jolly nightlife and fattening food, and the skiing's not to bad either. People who’ve done it before can get more serious about their skiing at Obergurgl— a much larger place with a more extensive ter rain which still does its best at village atmos phere. ■ Aviemore, Scotland YOU might be forgiven for thinking the 1. .ing in Britain would be much cheaper than bing the Channel to do it, and if you live in Sc rid it is. From south of the border, howev rarely works out that way. This is pa: because there are hardly any package •Is, partly because, from most of England, : far to the Cairngorms as it is to the Alps to that the weather which is far too often rly cold and extremely windy, plus fewe 'its than even the small resorts in the glc. ■ Soldeu, Andorra and Super and inefficient, but if you get into the local pace brochures, and it’s not really worthwi of life that’s all part of the charm. Livigno is a Molina, Spain unless you live close enough to drive u: :he duty-free valley trying to compete with weekend. Andorra in the cheap alcohol stakes — long ANDORRA seems to be the place where all the Having. said all that, Aviemore can_____ wt. • out journey to get there but great skiing and scen very cheap if you're prepared to rough ... j bit budget ski deals head first —- as much for cheap ery once you do. Bormio is probably more for booze as for the cheap skiing. Soldeu is much and to make your own arrangements. N* - onal people who’ve skied before but it would also be Express buses will get you there for arov cl £30 the best of the resorts, with good beginners ski a good place for mixed groups of beginners and ing let down only by long walks to get there. It’s return from London, £25 horn Manchesx vr (di better skiers; plenty to do when you're not ski rect) or from just about anywhere else if you not a pretty country, but if you plan to get seri ing. good Italian food and excellent nightlife. * ously drunk each night you'll find nowhere to "HPIS.e ki Glasgow (slightly more expensive): do it in better company or for less money £39.50 from Bristol; £35 from Birmingham; LZ9.&0 from Leeds). In Aviemore, ifyou book Spanish rosorts just over the border have ■ Flaine and Tignes, France ahead there’s a Youth Hostel which charges \ been growing fast too, and for the skiing as onlyabout £4 anight (tel. 0479 810345). Add ski opposedtowhat happens sprdsI'd choose one FRANCE looks cheap in the brochures mainly hire,ski school, lift passand food andyou might of these. 8uper Molina is probably the best, a \ ' because it's close — once you get there prices still get a week’s skiing for less than £150. scenic old resort with new bits added up the are relatively high. Nevertheless if you want to ARE mountain and snow making machines to ski and do very little else there’s nowhere to ensure skiing all season on the nursery slopes. match it Flaine is.typical; a little cluster of high-rise blocks dumped in a bov.*] of moun HIDDEN COSTS ■ Borovets, Bulgaria and tains high above the tree line where you step out of your apartment door (mostly very Sarajevo, Yugoslavia cramped self-catering affairs) straight onto the snow and ski down to the lift or to sJa school. EASTERN European skiing can appear more ADEOF Not much happens at night but by day you can . cut of seaecn. Then expensive than it really is—it’s a much longei ski non-stop on a whole range of easy and inter i flight to get there in the first place and you'll mediate runs, and when you progress you can probably be slaying in a relatively classy hot el ski over the mountains to similar places in ***** a0 * wmk m the cheaper But once there spending the money you've adjoining valleys. Plsow. h*Uumuch againm Auatna, tw.eeasmuchta Uken can be a real problem And not only Tignes looks much the same but set. in the because there's nothing worth buying in the valley next to Val d'Iscre. in the midst of some shops Of the reaorts. Borovets is cheap but o? the world’s best ski slopes, it really justifies .. THIS rather basic. Sarajevo (site of the last Winter the superlatives in the brochures (and the high Olympics os well as the assassination that prices) Maybe not for beginners, tins is started Woild War l) has yet to be much disco paradise for senous skiers prepared to give up ~iMUST have caught him in a bloody good vered despite all its wonderful new facilities — the nightlife in return for rewards by cay The heavy clatter of transcription mood. try Yu got ours It has amazingly lively night life 1 Renowned for pulling pranks, kidnap too. tx* AsAstr* to £60 us TXJS*.. FramJTKSfliSZ? echoes around LM’s Ludlow office ping journalists,, upsetting foreign police ■ Alpbach and Obergurgl, as PAUL STRANGE puts __ land often choosing the right to remain 0silent, Hugh Cornwell is regarded as a hack s ■ Livigno and Bormio, Italy Austria 1 THE STRANGLERS’ nightmare. he's mellowed Porhups he's ITALIAN skiingalwaysusedtobe a bit cl a }okt> Hugh Cornwell Perhaps IF you're stuck with a vision of yourself supping f matured Or perhaps he needs the press around the Alps, but nowadays it’s the Italians gluhwem and slapping your thighs m a picture* through his paces. One thing s for certain he’s pleased with the laughing as the others pnee themselves out of postcard Alpine chalet, it’ll have to be Austria. new Stranglers' alburn. He can't stop talking o existence. Okay so things are bit ramshackle Alpbach is the resort which exemphfies all this 1 January 1987 LSV3 69 68 n LM January 1987 l p£ ' 1I i >>s 3 Vif - te^.n i i Jig ’ about the thing, and to be fair he's got a point. Aborigines believe that they're just an acci isn't shining, you might as well forget aboutTt Dreamtime — The Stranglers' ninth studio LP dent. that the world happens whether you’re In the end — whatever goes wrong and hov£ So why are The Stranglers still successful? after 12 years in the business — is an encourag there or not. and the world happens anyway ever crazy it gets — as long as the sun comes ‘Audiences are getting older and bigger. ing, intriguing, sometimes rivetting work, through using you; you're part of it, but you’re up in the morning there's something to live for Sometimes I take a mini-cab and the drivers are reminiscent in feel, commitment, style and You've got to start worrying when the 45, or 50, and they've got the new Dylan or Dire immaterial. sun #;C sheer bravado to the band's first three albums, ‘It’s a fatalistic attitude, and it’s not very con doesn't come up in the morning.’ Straits tape in the car. Twenty years ago, but with the musical diversity and dexterity ducive to the competetive world we live in. At 'And Nice In Nice (which refers to a riot at a J $ people of that age weren’t appreciating music found in their later work the same time it pinpoints the importance of Stranglers gig in Nice a few years ago and that was around at the time. Audiences are get Cornwell nods Nature, it gives Nature the central role in life resulted in a spell of imprisonment for mm ting much, much bigger and so there’s more It s the best album we've ever done,’ he and everything else is just circumstantial. Cornwell), is a humorous memory. I always look room for people like us to continue and still declares, settling into a comfy chair at his pub ‘The Aborigines look at their landscape and back at it and laugh; it was so stupid.' ■ I . have a big audience.’ licist's office just off Marylebone 'Everything say 'My forefathers were here and my mother The song was reminiscent of the ‘old’ cold D And the future? sounds exactly as I wanted it to sound. When I was bom there and now she's in that rock over and hard Stranglers' sound, circa 77/78. ‘I've no idea. If the group's plans don't con listen to it I don’t want to switch it off at any flict with individual plans, then there’s no there, and I will become that tree'. 'Yeah, a certain kind of person bought it, one point. I listen to it all.' reason why we shouldn't continue 'It’s a nice way of looking at things because whereas Always The Sun seems to be going mm He scratches his bonce thoughtfully, looks at when they cut down a tree they are cutting going to end up. I thought we had a pretty" good mi;:’: f Tt would be sad if we ended up hating each his shoes, realises he’s not wearing any socks, right across, everyone seems to like that one.' chance of being together because it was a other. We’re all pretty creative, we’ve been themselves down or one of their parents, so it What sortofperson buysStranglers' music? checks his flies and continues strong unit, particularly once Dave■■Greenfield together so long that we know what works, makes them aware of their environment. 'All sorts of people ... it doesn't bother me Some of the songs on Dreamtime are indi joined us on keyboards.’ everybody’s got their role in the group and it 'We would probably look at a tree and say who buys our records — be they 7Q.*year-old vidual ideas, while others look back at lost The new wave coincided neatly with your works well. And although those roles are quite ' Oh well. I'll cut it down and bum it because it's groovers or 15-year-old nutters!’ • Current music is dull. There’s causes Big In America — which could be our going to make me warm’, whereas they see it arrival. staid, it’s the most creative way that things Is it hip to buy a Stranglers’ alb;1^^®^ " very little around. I guess if you happen. Individual projects are still important next single — is an individual one. differently . It's a naive way of looking at things ‘Yes. it was,rither fortunate. I’m glad it hap ' Everything's big in the States they have the Cornwell shifts uneasily in his chaK^H pened when >was very funny to see were talking to a kid of 15 they’d say though, because otherwise you stagnate ’ but an attractive way.’ ‘I'm so busy with my work thatXr biggest cockroaches in the world, Vietnam vet some of those^g^mpsractually manufacturing ‘Oh no, there’s hip-hop, The Smiths, Cornwell looks at his watch, and leaps to his Utterly fascinating. Go on. time to worry about that,’ he sa erans are big. and women are very big — I mean ' Too Precious is about the diamonds in South their look, jg^otWng manufactured The Jesus And Mary Chain’ and so feet. meaningless anyway. People thatjaj 2a ‘I've got to go,’he says. ’I should have been emotionally and personality-wise, not physi Africa — the blackculture there is almost a lost about us-^ lofh Clothes because that are un-hip tomorrow, so I'd^ral on, but I can’t see any theother sideofLondon about 15 minutes ago. ’ cally Women are so big emotionally that it cause, while Mayan Skies is about the raping was all wehi involved with any of it. It's absprag Extraordinary. Any parting thoughts? seems the men have got to be liberated! and pillaging of Mexico for commercial The new;r cklash against the substance there. That peer group, you know, ‘ We® * Yeah, I think we’ve been around so long that interests by the Spanish a long time ago. lumbering sujf he early Seventies, ff audience, and they haven’t gnt mfi we’ve become part of the establishment. I’m ‘You see the way we look upon things___ and yet That itill plodding on, 12 now I mean you’re either doing ibp sure it’s getting to the stage where some / /in America a guy will say ‘I’m doesn't seem to be any more sophisticated , years later*;# m ■ 15 they’d say 'Oh no, there's hip-hop. The enjoy doing it and you want tO'XPi i 'Ycah/lffil itii eople look at us as Smiths, The Jesus And Mary Chain' and so on, parents who want to buy their kid an album for than it was two million years ago — it’s just as from it, or you're not.’ i—1 U going out to get laid’. It probably § one ofthe Just as we did with and although I can see certain elements in Christmas will think ‘I’ll get them The stupid, just as naive, just as self-centred and Stranglers' one, because they re bound to like When The Stranglers first stara Yes and Gm e mid-Seventies. If those kinds of music which are appealing, means a guy sitting there, waiting for just as fucked up as it ever was. Nothing's ever consider that you’d stffl b§s| they thinkjj !piilh replace us. I’d because I’m not a 15-year-old I can’t see any that.' a woman to come up and grab him, reaUy changed; instead of carrying clubs about, years later? .$§ ‘Now that’s a really funny way of looking at we’ve all got video screens now.' throw him on a bed and start ‘I thought that I’d still be inVcjw And what of the video age? as a living, but you never knoW$j You said it, Hugh. bonking his brains out! T love it. We’ve just been rehearsing in a studio and they've got a video game there cal n led Gauntlet. It's all on different levels, what a game! Sorcerers meeting seraphim and grunts In England a lot of guys will say ‘I'm going and things, and you get to another level and it to pull tonight' — which assumes the active says (adopts deep, authoritative tone) ‘Re role of meeting women — whereas in America member on level five, sorcerers can be invisible, a guy will say I'm going out to get laid', which and grunts bite', and all this It's so sophisti is a passive way of describing something. It cated . . . I think it's great probably means a guy sitting there waiting for a woman to come up and grab him. throw him on a bed and start bonking his brains out* We’ve just been rehearsing in a American men seem scared of showing any son of primitive, caveman activity because ii studio and they’ve got Gauntlet American women will go HEY' This is an What a game! Sorcerers meeting emancipated society and you're not allowed to do that in this country1' seraphim and grunts and things. It’s If a woman did that over here, blokes would so sophisticated... say She must be a dyke.' which is just as I think it’s great stupid I'm not advocating that women should net that way over here; I'm just fascinated by ff human behaviour and the way people think ' T don’t know where it's going to end though. He pausos, scratches his five'o clock shadow I 'm sure that at some stage you’ll be able to buy checks his shin buttons and takes a sip of tea’ a film and take part in it. You'll I m proud of all the lyncs on Dreamtime he be able write the plot and continues They re well sorted because we determine what happens in the had about 18 months to think about them film because they'll have a chip Dreamtime itself is based on an Aborigine in there which will give you concept It seemed to symbolise something to different possibilrties. us the idea of lost causes and Utopian con 'You'll cepts being overtaken by the harsh realities of be in the film battling against A1 Pac- emo or somebody. and you'll have ten options modern life The Aborigines are a perfect exam Whichever option you take will change theplot pie of that, they ve got this wonderful culture I'm sure it's going to get like that ' — which is difficult to explain in English — and slowly they re being robbed of it More tea arrives and Cornwell takes a breather Five minutes later he s back fuming Australian mining companies are realising about the video for Always The Sun The video that the Aborigine t sacred grounds are full of ran uraruum so they're taking the lend off them and into problems when it was offered to chil dren s TV programmes, they objected to destroying it for purely commence] reasons Cornwell firing a gun in it The Aborigines have turned round and said Look this land is part of our culture If you’re Ridiculous, he says Every day on kid s going to destroy it then you re destroying us' programmes you see 20 people being shot and blasted by things I fired thegun not at a person Dreamtime is the closest word in English : which pins down this concept of Aborigine cul but at a target It's hypocrisy Anyway we ve done an arty version without the gun so they'll ture They look at the world obfectively be happy now whereas in the modern world western people see the world sub/ectively In the west every There are some quite serious references in thing has meaning through >xxi but the the song, but it should be viewed optumsti cally If you wake up in the morning and the sun 70 LM^!96' i are Mickey Mouse poOD I was travelling by bus Actually, as I crossed one everything in this town is them. Monroe. Garland. down by their sides. It's the scoopers following its though, when I had to, in a side road into the midst of a legendary - Frederick's of But perhaps more moving place where you buy crys every step. Listen, if they hot. noisy, wild throng of crowd consisting of two Hollywood exotic lingerie are the early stars, house tal balls from a stall. follow a horse because it street punks and Spanish Spanish pimps, four or five shop. For decades now, Mr hold names in their day, but Alternatively, do as I did. might shit, what would speaking Mexicans from painted whores and a gag Frederick has been supply who has heard of them Take the bus to Malibu they do with a babbling downtown. And at other gle of bikers, I began to ing split crotch panties and now? Such is the fickle beach. Get off just before, journalist in a Hawaian times I was going on foot. wonder if a car wasn't a bad edible posing pouches by nature of fame. where there's nothing shirt who kept shoutin Because that’showyou get idea. But even then you’re much. Just a strip of sand g mail, to the swinging folk of Linger long enough here obscenities into a tape to encounter the street life. not safe, and the LA PD the mid-West. ’Elmer, stop and a tear will come to your and waves. Yeah, just sit recorder strapped to his left Though I was rather seals off areas of the city at screwin' that chicken and eye. And as you wipe it there and watch the surfers arm? taken with the musical night and leaves them to see what just came through away somebody will steed — black dots on the rolling No, I didn’t feel clean knickers, my favounte the mercy of the roaming the post.' ‘Ah prefers the your money and you’ll be ocean, gliding effortlessly enough or crazy enough to piece of haute couture had gangs. chicken.’ mown down by a fast mov into land. trytostormthewholesome to be the male undergar Still, it was worth it, The last important shrine ing gaggle of tourists on The sky had become overcastand acold seamist empire so I vowed to make ment neatly sewn into the because this is where you’ll you reach on Hollywood their half day tour of the Hollywoodhigh-spots. Blue rolled around. The hot bar my own pilgrimage in this shape of an elephant. ‘Hey find the legendary — like Boulevard, if you survive the immortal city of a honey—are you glad to see the pimps, pushers and rinsed matrons with sav becue sauce from my sandwich coasted my thousand myths. me or is it just feeding time flashy, beautiful punks, is age hom-rims, watching the world go by through a fingers, looking like I’d Severely hung over and for Dumbo?’ Mann's Chinese Theatre. mini-bus window. been gutting fish. The plas witha bodythatwas stillin This is the one where plas- In which our intrepid hero, life, visa and AmEx tered stars fall down in the The only way to go now, tic mug of coffee steamed a state of not knowing m hand scours the streets of Los Angeles on the cement and make their as the heat builds up, is to by my feet—and the jet lag whether it was Danton or a imprint. the ocean. Santa Monica almost felt better. bantam, I stepped off the Actually, I challenge any- boasts a pier but little else Disneyland, you can bus at Hollywood and Vine. body not to be moved by in the way of real life. But keep. It's rank commer This is the come: where, the messages scrawled in turn left any weekend and cialism actively expanding its coffers by creating and Hollywood Trail according to legend, it all the pavement. Here are the you come to Venice, hang started. If Broad w ay is the words of those who were out of weirdoes on roller supporting a myth that will appeal to the greatest THE flight seemed a lot soak up some atmosphere. great white way causeof driven to early graves by skates and some of the longer than eleven hours arrange second mortgages its theatre light-- oily- the very fame that fed most extreme busking number of people. The But what I didn't tell the before leaving home meant result is, inevitably, bland and I started to know how immigration official, who wood Boulevc v the you'll ever see. Would you a battery hen feels. No room that we'd have been great white Wc. cause of believe a jazz pianist in the and toothless. But set off wanted to know whether limited to a choice of iced and walk those mean to stretch. Nowhere to the prodigious me middle of a beach? I Venice I'd be working (in which water or tepid water. streets that Chandler refer- walk. Even the odd bursts tracks that de: . e nasal is a laid back sensual case I could get straight Instead we ended up red to, and you’ll become of conversation with the cavities of sta_c. ducers delight. It’s the place back on the next plane for knocking back Wild Turkey where the body builders part of another fantasy. A woman who had flown some good ol’ English and no-hopers. at something like three dol- mind I kept telling myself pump iron in the pen until grubbier, downright from Kenya to London, unemployment), was that I Nowin Los A: dS, dangerous, but exhilarat lars a shot, and keeping it that the only way I'd visit they can't get their arms before joining this plane to had an interview lined up. nobody walk:: v .me ing dream of a city. And the Los Angeles, had died out. happy with pathetic little that hell-hole of family areas of Bever. busker entertains. An interview with the last cocktail beers. I spent at ills, real dirt is worth more them God—shemusthavebeen entertainment and good walking is con:: , great independent film least eleven quid in a 3d such any plastic diamonds. more screwed up than i clean fun was in a state of a suspicious ac . Hollywood and Vina- director. The man who couple of hours, and as I did you’ll was. invented the nudie film. terminal craziness, induced get arrested for tuel I the comer where it If I ever make a flight of so it became obvious that by every dangerous and j Skatfafl ovw the cocaine tracks of Wi« The greatest king of exploi my companion and myself got shown an a;, aent all started. thislengthagain. I'llensure illegal substance I could lay tation . .. ever! did not share the same block where each . welling that whoever is paying is a finger on. Or rather — I almost had tastes. Themorewe drank. came complete v- ;■ . a free conned into providing, at And the Disney organisa an interview lined up. What the more he urged me to Rolls Royce. Conn jring the very least, First Class followed was at times tion doesn't look too kindly you'd almost inevAcbly blow another fifty quid on a on that sort of behaviour. Accommodation. Because nightmare, at times farce, coach to Disneyland. own one of these jtus when you sit for eleven Disneyland is well as messages were left and ‘It's not w’kat you think,' symbols on wheel:: if you hours, right behind the sanitised. Where the odd appointments made, can he kept saying. 'It’s not for could afford a flat here, that Business Class compart real horse has been allowed celled, then reinstated, kids at all.' I remained as would make you a tv/o ment, you also start to to stray into a parade, there Roller family through no fault of either polite as I could, but in my share the feelings of the party. The one thing that French Revolutionaries. could be said of this limbo, While your meal comes as 1 awaited the eventual complete with an abund meeting, was that it gave Ray Bradbury ever here? ance of cling film around a me tune to explore the City The tattooed man — was small portion of neatly of Angels. cubed plastic dessert, you There is one other impor can glimpse the weary tant feature in this tale 1 businessmen being served was not travelling alone fresh fruit from a basket For reasons too long and before the stewardess unbelievably complex to twitches the curtain — it explain hex© (plus it could can easily become as get libellous if 1 name potent a symbol of social names), 1 had a companion inequality as the wall of the whom 1 had never met Pans commune. Now before where did 1 put the guil In fact, we hadn't met lotine? until we were within a hour So 1 tolled oft the plane m or so of LA International an advanced state of Airport, one of the most : paranoia, by now unsure dangerous places in this what lay ahead in this, my whole psychotic city I i first encouutei with heard ol a 1 emalo cab driver America's western sea who was pulled out board. Actually, my whole through the open window body had no idea of where of hex cab and mugged it was or what tune it Luke the signs say. 'Wel should be. It telt like a long, come to LA' exhausted sleep, while the Anyhow, my compatriot daylight told it that it was and myself decided to still late afternoon drown out jetlag in the Officially. 1 was m LA for neatest bar we could find. purely hedonistic reasons We would have drunk at '^buitfemP? January 1987 L.IWI □ 73 Stick around a week and the hotel, but oux failure to 72 □ LM January 1367 ineffective. It proves extremely most unusual method of con ingly loose to begin with, it hard wearing and at only £9.99 trol, but it’s worth the effort. doesn’t take long to get used to is below the average price of a The Joyball is a delight to use; the feel. Microswitches provide joystick. it's comfortable, responsive, a responsive click and medium Overall 85% tough, and adheres to the table length of travel results in great well. Rather expensive, but if speed and precision. An you have the cash to spare then autofire on/off switch 6. BAT HANDLE this is a worthwhile invest positioned neatly at the side Price: £27.99 ment. stays firmly in position rather The Bat Handle is very tough Overall 93% than slipping at inopportune and pretty simple in design moments. A bit steep in price with a square base and long but well worth it as it seems to tapering stem. The two fire but 10. THE WIZ CARD have no faults and stands up to tons are mounted on the base Price: £8.95 virtually any degree of punish and on the stem. The long travel This one uses a large floating ment. distance between contacts button instead of the more trad Overall 97% makes it unresponsive and itional stick for control. The two rather sluggish especially fire buttons are not indepen 15. ELITE when pixel-crucial jumps and dent but pounding away on two adjustments are needed. It isn't responsive fire buttons is easier Price: £16.95 than beating only one to death. Two circular pads house the very comfortable to hold and stick and the fire button. Mic although the base fire button is However, the 'stick' itself isn't so easy to use- It works well roswitches provide a more posi good, the top fire button is just tive feel but the thin, tapering about useless. Generally the with most platform games, but it’s not so hot on games requir shaft feels slightly loose and stick just doesn't seem any makes diagonals fiddly The where near good enough to ing hard, fast, precise move- ments, and diagonals are a pain small size also makes fast warrant its huge price tag. waggling difficult. As an all- Overall 77% to obtain. Overall a very good, alternative 'controller', and rounder the Elite doesn't come up to the mark. It looks great, 7. THREE WAY although by no means excep tional, it is tough and very but feels strangely delicate — Price: £32.99 reasonably priced. as if it might break with the Effectively a deluxe version of Overall 82% slightest over-exertion. One for the Bat Handle, being very simi the younger gamesplayer. lar in appearance but not in per 11. PRO ACE perhaps? formance and price. The stick Overall 78% comes with three freely inter Price: £11.95 changeable grips that slip, with This one doesn't perform too 16. MACH 1 some difficulty, over the steel well. The stick is slow to respond to movement, and has Price: £14.95 shaft. A Red Ball, a Bat and a Based on The Cheetah, the Grip Handle are provided. None a long length of travel which makesusingita bitlike stirring Mach 1 apparently took nine are particularly comfortable months to develop, and is and make the shaft feel sepa thick syrup with a plastic equipped with microswitches. rated from the base. The spoon. The fire button is fairly responsive, although it feels as It also includes a ‘high grade' responsiveness of the leaf metal shaft and a comfortable switch mechanism is undone if it is also suspended in treacle, which makes ittoo sluggishfor moulded grip* Unfortunately it by the shaft travel distance, is lacking in a few areas. It making the stick slow to effective rapid fire. The weakest link in an otherwise doesn't feel particularly sturdy, respond to movement. Two dif although no major problems ferent gatelock controls restrict powerful chain of quality were encountered during play movement to either four or Euromax product testing. Its length of travel is far eight directions. The grip fire Overall 52% too long, making most games and base fire buttons, both of tested surprisingly difficult to high quality, may be used 12. MICRO ACE play and diagonals hard to together or just the grip. One to Price: £15.95 obtain. The base fire buttons be recommended if it weren't Between the Pro Ace and the aren’t overly responsive and for the ridiculously high price. Micro Ace there are two differ- need to be worn in while the top Overall 87% ences —aredhandle and micro two fire buttons are superflu switches. Obviously the colour ous and don't perform at all well 8. THE BOSS of the handle isn’t too impor — the on/off autoflre switch Price: £15.99 tant, but the micro switchos doos however. One of the cheapest sticks Wico are, making it a good joystick Overall 80% produce and one that suffers as although it has the same fire it doesn’t have the same 'qual button os the Pro Aco. The stick is responsive, and all move Tho Arcade (1). Competition ity' feel as the Bat Handle and ments are met with a positive Pro (2). Joyball (9). Wiz Card Three Way, even though it is (10), Pro Ace (11). Micro Aco made from heavy duty compo micro switch click. It doesn't •feel' quite as good as the (12), Micro Pro (13), Pro Plus (14) nents. A single top fire button EuromaxArcade—whichis tho and Elite (15) ore all by Euromax is unresponsive and sluggish to Electronics Ltd, Pinfold Lano, use Despite leaf switches tho samo price — but it's just as Bridlington, North Humboraido stick is slow, insensitive and tough and reliable. Y016 5XR. Tel 0262-601006/ •uncooperative', although its Overall 90% 602541 shape makes it comfortable to hold. Diagonals are a pain to 13. MICRO PRO The Quickshots I (3) and II (4) get, especially in a tight spot, Price: £16.95 are by: Spectravideo Ltd, 165 and the lack of a base fire but At first glance you might mis Garth Rd, Morden, Surrey SM4 play rough you could weU end ton makes it unfriendly and take this stick for tho Euromax 4LH. Tel 01-330 0101 BECAUSE we're giving away issue xero of LM with 1. ARCADE TURBO 4. QUICKSH0TII awkward to use. • computer magazine, it seemed appropriate to 2. COMPETITION PRO 3. QUICKSH0TI Sp with a heap of twisted black Competition Pro — tho two are Price: £22.95 Price: £16.95 Overall 85% identical in looks and price. The Super Controller (5) is by offer some buying advice on a related subject, and Price: £7.95 Price: £11.95 plastic. Atari Corporation (UK) 7b«* Arcade Turbo is weU Big brother to the Arcade Turbo This joystick starts where the Overall 82% Howovor tho Micro Pro has 2 what goes across the board better than joysticks? designed, appealing to look at The Quickshots I and II are the Quickshot I leaves off. It incor micro switches all round but in and just as tough and reliable most popular of joysticks 9. THE JOYBALL The Bat Handle (6). Three Way £ If your old stick is feeling a touch limp from all that end comfortable to hold A rub Uses the same mechanics ar.d porates a better grip with 5. SUPER CONTROLLER tost proves only to bo as reliable frantic waggling over the last 12 months then ber washer supports the rtwl because of availability and improved fire buttons and an Price: £29.95 as tho Comp Pro. not moro so. (7) and The Boss (8) are by Wico. so enjoys the same respor.sive- because they offer a number of Initially regarded with much supplier. CGL. CGL House, Christmas is a heaven-sent opportunity to per shaft. making length of travel r.tis as the Arcade /only it autoflre facility. Suckers on the Initially very stiff, a few wag short but bfe expectancy long features for a reasonable pnee SSiSfiy shaped .** cynicism, tho ’Cherno-ball as it gles soon woaritinverynicoly. Goldings Hill, Loughton, Essex suade an unwilling relative into purchasing you a doesn t need as much wearing bottom keep the stick stable looks more like a thm wedge has affectionately become l Fc*: table use three rubber feet Using the Quickshot I is a bit during play. Tho stem is com Rapid firo is easily obtained, IG102RR. Tol 01-508 5600 s new one as a stocking filler. Of course, they'll have v.j Stick travel is slightly longer like holding a banana since it than something to help you known, performs excellently. 0 on the base give reasonable than its tnCw ‘brother’ and fortable to hold with two fire and both buttons (and the stick no idea what to gel, but there's still a couple of stability The base fire buttons tapers and has a smooth stem You hold it iiko a mouso. but it itself) takealotofpunishraont. Tho Mach 1 (16) is by Chootah requires less force' to gam buttons at the top forming an responds like a joystick. There Marketing. I Willowbrook Sd- weeks to go — time enough to advise them. Take have a short and springy tr ave-J. It requires some wrenching to index finger trigger and a mountod^ro buttons can be Overall 97% your pick from LM's top selection of tried, tested appropriate results Two large, get it from one position to S?atedup/dovmtotosuityour are two fire functions, either oncoPark, CrickhowellRoad, St making rapid fire easy Ease or round fire buttons on the case thumb button. In test similar Motions, CardiffCF3 0EF. Tol: old favourites and some of the newer exciting lop fire buttons are selectable another. In testing the stem hands. Tho stem_is very-short rapid fire at one of two solecta- 14. PROFESSIONAL PLUS offer ex'ie„er.t response and problems were encountered as and mushroom ahaped vnth Sl soceds — fast or slow — 0222-777337 ideas from the world's leading manuf acturers and although the latter isn't as easy became very loose and felt as with the Quickshot I — creaks Price: £19.95 feedback for both left and nght • though it could well break up whiJ^tbeother is a single shot suppliers of joysticks. to use Although the is a handed players An exoehent and groans and the familiar Are button. 'Stick'travel is Tho first designer joystick/ bids stiff when first used it A.t the top sits one fire button, looseness, but the better con- Don't bo misled by tho trondy The testers are Nowsfield's various genres joyr job that w_. lar*. through tr.s other is on the base They short, so tho Joyball is sensitive reviewers from CRASH. ZZAP! 04 and AMTIX! soon wears tn rucely to become many delicate aggress;ve and ,ir5ls for quicker response chic black casing, yollow firo aren't very responsive and Sd proves perfect for precise buttons and matching btuiglo magazines. They've given an overall rating out cl very leepo&sive. making those * ^ gemepU >v,g tesreu «mft» The autoflre left us unim- movements but diagonals are pixel jttopf alt that more per make r*p.d fire a chore Cheap pressed it shoots in 'pulses' at tho base of tho shaft it per 100 per cent to each for stick and fire button and r. a t-hi gusht) trust perhaps but its poor durability , ti.a» easy to obtain. It takes feci- Pricey, but for what it fifies the teemungiy mgr.'pnc* h * cl«a4y stream of £?££&•*» with this forms as woU as it looks. Soom- responsiveness, ergonomics (how easy it is to bold off ers, certainly worth it tag *rud onresponsr/eness make it S™*! A reasonable buy for ana use), durability, and value for money. Owm m inferior the delicau, of hand but if you January 1987 LM □ 70 rr\ kwlSK assess** T* □ LM January 1367 pared to take suitable in to the police right awav work, or not available if a and there is no evidence to job comes up, and your suggest it was you, or a right to benefit disappears. member of your house The fact you didn't show hold, who took the money up for the interview That’s the theory any. suggests maybe you don't way, but some boards still want to work. So the try to make the consumer money's stopped until you pay for what is stolen from GAMES CENTRE make it clear you do. You their meter. will have to go for an inter* Don’t let them con you view with the Unemploy into paying up when you ment Review Officer, and don’t have to. Start by dis you would be wise to show puting the matter your Dear Lloyd, you understand the condi self, but if you don't get I live at home but I think I tions attached to getting anywhere, then contact an should be able to live my life benefit. You are expected without having to explain advice bureau or your local to have made some Electricity Consumers' what I'm doing, who I’m attempt to find work, and Council (address in the doing it with, when I’U be Stick some new games soltware if you’re putting restric phone book) who can back home and all the other tions on the type of work you up by quoting the law things my Mum wants to you'll do, to show these are to the electricity board. know. I don't ask her how reasonable. If your restric LM she spends her time. tions mean it looks like I pay for my keep and I've told her she's got no right there’s no chance to get Dear Lloyd, ting a job, you run the risk I left school with no regrets mu nur compnier wiih suck with virgin! to ask questions, but of having your benefit and no exams, buv ?w I’ve nothing stops her. What do Have you got a problem? Perhaps Ido? withdrawn until you met a girl who is --> . i high The !§' !iii5 Games Centres offer you the most exciting range of games this side of Christmas! Andrew, Skis, Cbaehira LM's resident confessional box, change them. flyer I wish I had : t-d har I’m not saying that der. She says I aldn't An - sive selection of computer games on all software formats from Spectrum, Amstrad, LLOYD MANGRAM, can help you're not quite right to worry but some v I feel ■ Andrew, it’s supposed refuse to consider some of a real wally vj she's Cor more, Atari, MSX and IBM. PlusTrivia games, War games, Family games, Role-playing to be a free country and so the jobs on offer these talking with he: is. I'd the father but unless you contact them by dialling days. A lot of employers do like to be on the 'tl, but and Fantasy games. you hava ovary right to act marry, your girlfriend will the operator and asking try to get young people as Ilka an insensitive pig and be the sole guardian of the my job involve: ts so for Freephone Enterprise. cheap labour, and from evening classes ut of exploit your mother. Lou child and that means she There, how’s that for ser of mums put up with it what you say you've had the question. Is i any can choose any name she vice? your taste of this. Not all alternative? without complaint, though likes; hsrs, yours, e mix LM a FREE collectors stampalbum. Collect 10 stamps and you can choose a FREE game to foevatoe I don’t know why. From jobs are that bad, and most Paul, South amp; ture of the two, or some opportunities have to be of £4 from any Virgin Games Centre or Virgin Store! Collect 30 stamps and you can choose what you say in your let thing entirely different. ; Dear Sir. looked for, so it's still ■ Obviously it v» •pend ter, you gat all tbs bsnsfiu LM There isn't a lot of use look /C v a FREE game to the value of £12 and so on. of living at home — cheep worthwhile putting effort on the degree of ; :r per ing for work here, it just into trying to find a job you A, ) piik stick with Virgin entitles you to choose FREE Records, Tapes, Compact Discs, Dear Lloyd, sonal application . ’earn doesn't exist. There's no might enjoy. ing, but there are a large vioa, someone concerned I’m sure I’ve got a money way I'm going to be LM > Videos and huqe discounts on return flights with Virgin Atlantic Airlines! Pickup a Stick with about you—yet you won't number of cor: .-spon- „„ JEE5SiswSespend£5 « more on games al Iflpflin Barnes Bertra spinning idea and want to exploited by the sort of dence courses available •wept that In return it's start my own business. 1 employer who reckons he Dear LM, SS&M.?*** BBUBLI Stick wim Virgin samps! only fair to share part of have saved some money, and the best idea is to can treat you like dirt, make I’m living in a flat and use a choose a college which is a : vour Ufa with your but need help to get it off you work ten hours a day (Fd navar advise anyone the ground. The govern slot meter for electricity. member of the Association without a break, and pay Recently while I v/as out at of Correspondence Col to tall everything to their ment scheme which pays you peanuts. I've experi paromta, knit a little Is a work, someone got in the leges. If you write to the new businesses £40 a week enced it once and it got me flat and broke open the f o r games flood idea). Whoever you for a year seems the ideal address below they should choice nowhere, I was still made meter. send you details. I found the no 1 uvawtth needs a little con- solution, but is this only for redundant at nineteen and You might Now the electricity board that when I went back to people who are a school leaver taken on. I say I have to pay again for •van find your mum'e Ufa unemployed? I’m on a won’t do that again, and ifI studying I got a lot more B BRIGHTON 156/161, Western Road the electricity, since they satisfaction from learning ARFRI1FFN 46 Union Street B BIRMINGHAM 98, Corporation Street Youth Training Scheme at can't get a decent job I'm never got the money. the moment. not going to be anyone's a subject than i did at ABERDEEN 46^n'on b street m BROMLEY 140/144, High Street (in Burtons Menswear) If can’t bear the I don't think it's fair to school, and perhaps you Peter S Knight, Rubary, slave. hold me liable. After all I : Now I'm being hassled will too. An extra qualifica BRISTOL Merchant bireet - □ H PLYM0UTH 105, Armada Way with your have paid for the electricity tion might halp on the job by the DKSS I've had two already. Why should I pay GLASGOW 28/32, Union Stree gTgRES g, EmNBURGH ^ 31, Princes Street , than you really ■ On ^ intn my letters asking me to go and market as well as improv I; don’t have the right to uae twice? ing your small talk with massive Use Mound that discuss why I'm not work J Singh, Wembley, Middx LONDON 100.0xf0rJ S^^Hfl" ™o wheelergate. B OXFORD Unit 13, Westgate Centre hat. Maybe if you got out is ing. 1 thought that was daft high-flying girls. and found a place of your Association of British Cor called The Enterprise AUo- — the reason’s obvious, ■ The electricity board NOTTINGHAM ^ ^ ^ mjRHAM and YORK and to there’s no jobs going. So 1 respondence Colleges, 8 tn time ought not to hold you liable Francis Grove, London SW1 qualify you must have didn't bother turning up. if you reported the break- you lose £1000 to inveet In the busi Next thing I knew, my giros LM of plus have been stopped notice of redun- Can they really do this to as roe? I neve: thought any DOUBLE Stick with Virgin Stamps LM OR on an one would be left to starve m 1986 Virgin Games Centre Deari Lloyd, Honor training for P Parry, Oldham, Lancs from your I've lust had a row with my at least eight . That T°w down, if your skin problem is out your period on the ■ Sorry Mr Parry, but I'm * ***** *ad u your bank balance Now she vs Youth Training ejme?V^l Y°* ?w,yi try me out for an afraid the DHSS can stop answer. I m ebtt of an expert having been something of Name '« give our baby my you eligible. Also your for all aorta of a talk to the Small Finns Ser . you half a JSEH' «• not offered, but if Address vice. It receive ah! ■* *“• O you are unemployed AND Write to: Hassles, Ung for willing and available for LM. PO Box 10, work. Give a Ludlow, Shropshire this voucher before December 31st 1986. ha upe to you are not pro- SY8 1DB H3 when you redeem Te o L.M January ! if [ X / i l * [ .■■*'.■. J?: Tv; ■ CNnm OF A Ml&HTV JPK’W*?... ( jtiriing Music Video TMEP FOR b MONTHS, RLCFJx'T rt.QT. irp: : .... ZLLDTsL. ENEtlNL. NEW CLIATLH, G.OOD cr:.;. m m TY&S. P&y/CXAS 0MV£8 WAS LITTLE The NEC Birmingham v. iH OLD LADY. GOW& CHEAP. ... jsCdL^feALSD GOV 30QT- P&V- POKC77A ir / w S 7> NX WWN' LDTFSASVCKE! I : ss Shell \ . You Kjw I Love You... Don’t You? * * V f / Curry favour with the »«v Like To Get To Know You Well London Editor! See LIS in WIN A CURRY! No One Is To Blame ■ i action! Win an LM cap : ] ACROSS T i J Tb*r bc«* ptrp '.3.4.4) Life In One Day . • « H*2p for L». bral (7! and T-shirt! * I Torturoua bx-ry natal . bandi4.« WHAT s all this then? Yep, it’s the very first LM prize Look Mama i ■: V Ttala had rxlly taotatwA iej crossword, a stunningly difficult and fiendish puzzle 10 Ehna' fins liM (3J a,?d.d,estin®d to keeP y°u fascinated, thrilled Will You Still Be There? A ! eea out is 1KJ iS-tl and enthralled for, oh, at least five minutes r0 1" i« ■ 13StnaUtisMniebnr< London EditorDavid (‘Pass me that curry*) Cheal sus- iuoa \t SeCOnds'but DeP Ed Paul (-Here come my Always Asking Questions Mjg|| 17 Pip psy' Tbli b*r*3 wos! bhajees) Strange was still stuck after seven hours ; It Ow ahAmt ?tj ^Td y°u; crosswords have never been his strong Hide And Seek ^Ell nS?<(«Uae«V9BO«ubtu >ee •Itoos't: pomt; dot to dot puzzles give him a hard time as it is). IX Sirfr-TS?!?! thlS back to the business in hand. b« firai un ;J) Dream Into Action JH n US eata • has ia a S5ValJ?sue oi LM we bought we'd offer nWR'« and highly unusual prize for the first cor- SWhMbctadTracrban 10 S”e:mcn7c°;lS°Ut°f 'he maUbag What Is Love? 3 2»Tt* bM(Ul t ytou T" a treasured LM cap and New Song oom but the London Editor will treat you to a free curry at a restaurant of his choice. Alternatively (if you Things Can Only Get Better ^Sa toZLtZSXJif* Ludlow HQ), the Deputy Editor In11 * Vxmrnam fT) ^Tt you 10 a {ree cuiry at the restaurant of his choice '■'IVi V mill 1 Tfc* fikj 1ban ijMwud I I «»« 17 *.*• and show you round LM*s office. Gripping huh? And if Directed by Wayne Isham Unus you don’t like curry, then tough. Oh b right then we VC 1 «Wt -J/ could make it fish ‘n* chips. bSt ifa Aot^ the Colour/Stereo/Running Time - 58:30 same VHS: 242 005-3 • BETA: 242 005-5 i 1 I : 7 Cafo*» Cxi* ■ im>|w< x Don't f01 get to fill in this form end send it with the Also Available Now! cioeswurd Send • photocopy if you don't want to cut U* mmm>. IK,' It t: KSSSrST"1’ “•PO — “~ up the magmxuu* Sts-*e your T-shrn size — small, medium or large -- « a..hough wed probably ignore this information The New Album, Cassette & CD U k |M* iMf ten lx im M* «- lutaw «: because we re utter bastards Closing date for entries It StM OVUM IM f?.AT* “ rrU1?y 1Sl December and well publish the solution M<>» Addrees m tne first edition of LM (on sale 15 January, get your 'ONE TO ONE’ ( MM ?7.' order us now nail the newsagent to the floor, etc ) The t! Uw M bUMM try UlMMdtMoiriaUlM pnze wmner wfl he announced m LM s second edition And that 1 at Simple huh? 78 G LM January 13T b M: l , Or £129 95 Duys a CFS W440L win double cassette decks delacnable two way speakers and graphic equalizer.