Off the Wookie.Indd

Table of Contents 9 - Charlie Todd and Improve Everywhere 34 – Iceland to Austin By Michael Coyle by Matthias Ingimarsson 10 – Ice Cream Man 37 – Long Beach Bands by Rob Wallace 12 - Animal Masks - by Erin Smith 50 – Wheat-Pasting with Buffmonster 14 – Get People Naked at Shows with 52 - Don’t do it in Arizona Chantal Claret from Morningwood by Branden Eastwood 16 – Fake Interest in Friend’s Band 54 - Prison Wine by Logan Hicks by Niki Randa 59 - Popsicles by Kevo Sassouni 17 – Make a Record Bowl 60 - Stickin’ It To Ticketmaster with Vanessa Herzog by Thomas McMahon 21 – Waterloo is Your Friend by Dina G 61 - Best Buy Must Die 22 – Sam’s BBQ by Julie Ingram 64 - TuneCore by Jeff Price 23 – Amy’s Ice Cream by Dina G 65 - “OFF THE WOOKIE” 24 – Draw a Cowboy Weiner Dog ICE CREAM MAN’S SXSW 25 – Hit and Run by Alex Arciniega SURVIVAL GUIDE 26 – Sean Blacklist 90 - LA Record by Michael Coyle 28 – The Basics of Silk Screenin’ by David Gooch 30 – Start Your Own Vegan Guitar Strap Company – by Dan Perkins 31 – Getting the Concert Shot with Timothy Norris 33 – Why You Should Start a Cover Band by Matt Dupree

39 – Ryan McGinness by Heather Edgar

“Go to a university and not just an art school. Learn many things. Most artists are idiots.”

“Poor or Rich, The Same in Death,” 2003, oil enamel and silkscreen ink on line, 48 x 36 in.,

Photo by Tom Powel, Courtesy Deitch Projects

Cover Image “Ambitious Outsiders,” 2003, oil enamel and silkscreen ink on line, 48 x 36 in.,

Photo by Tom Powel, Courtesy Deitch Projects

6 Instigator (He thought it would be a good idea) Matt Allen – Ice Cream Man

Layout Editor (Made the puzzle into what you’re now holding) Chris Muench – www.cdmdesign.com

Cover Layout Brandy Flower - www.brandyﬂower.com

Managing Editor (In charge of looking over all the words) Alex Roman III

Second Eyes Editors (Feel free to make up more professional title) Lucinda Michele Knapp Michael Coyle

Our Man in Austin (Contact man who put crew together and led the troops) Aaron Zacks

Lots of art in here is from Christine Hale – www.love-christine.com

Printers Jakprints – www.jakprints.com

Thanks to everyone who contributed to bring this beast to life.

All of the contributors took it upon themselves to create this.

There was no set plan. Only the idea to get a bunch of folks together to create a high quality zine featuring people who inspired us, things we like to create, and ideas we were curious about. We hope that these stories will motivate you to get out and create something new. Pass this along too, there’s something for everyone.

More thanks, Mary Patton, Morgan Lebus, Julie Underwood, Greg Parkin and Capitol Mastering, Chris Young, Dustin Beatty, Dameon and Monica at Jakprints, The Austin Crew (Aaron, Julie, Dina, Paul, Rob, Doug, Jill, Catherine, Jim, Chris, Jeremy, Matt, Amanda, and Rebecca), Dan Flynn, and everyone I’m forgetting....Ice Cream Man likes you.

Our mission is to give away FREE ice cream. To date we’ve gifted over 25,000 frozen treats. Through www.icecreamman.com we document everything we do along with posting the best concert and music festival reviews online. We currently have over 10,000 pictures and hundreds of reviews. We cover shows nationwide, but currently focus on the LA area. We have also reviewed a large chunk of music festivals in the US (Coachella, Sasquatch, Siren, Street Scene, Arthurfest, Download, Xingolati, Vegoose). We’re doing everything we can to try to make giving away ice cream a sustainable business. If you’d like to help, please contact us.

Wild In The Streets Improv Everywhere Takes Comedy Out of the Club By Michael Coyle Four-foot ledge suicide jumper photo by Chad Nicholson/ChadNicholsonPhotography.com Like the kid we all knew who put a whopee been arrested,” Todd tells us. “Eight agents cushion on the teacher’s chair, Charlie Todd were summoned to court as a result of our is determined to break the humdrum rou- U2 hoax. A judge threw out the case. More tines of everyday life with harmless pranks. recently eight agents have been sum- Armed with training from New York City’s moned to court for riding the subway with Upright Citizen’s Brigade comedy theater, their pants off. They were part of a larger Todd’s vision is much broader than the old mission that had around 160 participants reliable fake fart, and his boring classroom riding the subway in the middle of January in need of a chuckle is the metropolis without pants on. Their court cases are around him. Todd founded and runs Improv coming up soon. I’m conﬁdent the case will Everywhere, a cabal of benevolent rabble be dismissed, as it is in fact not illegal to rousers who have been responsible for wear underwear in public. We mostly break creating a cell phone symphony at a book- rules, not laws.” store, staging a synchronized swimming event in a public fountain, getting hundreds Given that the country is full of people who of people to ride the subway without pants still think having a stick up their ass will on and staging a fake U2 concert on a help them get that pie in the sky, you gotta rooftop across the street from Madison suppose that the Improv Everywhere gang Square Garden, where the real band was draws the ire of those who prefer monoto- performing later. nous order to fun. Todd explains to us that no one gets their panties in too tight a His pranks take fastidious planning and bunch: “No matter what you do, someone the cooperation of trained and volunteer will always get upset. So long as you’re “agents” who carry out the harmless tom- pulling off a prank for the right reasons foolery for the befuddlement and amuse- —making others laugh and keeping life ment of the masses. The reward is a good interesting—you won’t go too wrong.” cerebral guffaw, and sometimes a trip to Learn to laugh again at the local courthouse. “No one has ever www.improveverywhere.com 9 10

Photo by Love, Christine HOW TO MAKE ANIMAL MASKS IN UNDER 15 MINUTES by Erin Smith The history of masks is long and interesting. The Mask of Warka, the first-known realistic sculpture of a human, is 5000-years-old and counting. The wearing of masks is deeply tied to psychological, spiritual, theatrical and cultural functions; people wear masks to hide their true “face”, to disappear into another character, to perform or to scare the shit out of someone. You can look up all the details for yourself at wikipedia.org, but let me share with you the basics of creating your very own anti-social/social piece. These masks will probably only last a night; not so much because they’re shoddy but because you WILL end up giving them away at some point. It’s inevitable and encouraged, unless you have no love in your heart, because the recipient’s face will spark what little genuine emotion you may have left. The masks are great for hiding blemishes, bloodshot eyes, smeared mascara and general facial twitches, the product of one-too-many whisky and cokes. People will stare at you with a mix of adoration, confusion and sometimes disgust. Don’t worry about any of that--you just keep dancin’ like a little panda or a wise-ass owl or even a belligerent badger if you’re so inclined. Now Let’s Get Started You will need: A color printer or markers (this will obviously add a bit more time) 8 x 11 inch paper Cardstock or something relatively firm (cereal boxes are perfect) Some ribbon, twine or whatever you can find to tie the critter around your face Scissors Glue of any caliber 12 Photo by Eyad Karkoutly 1. Google “animal masks”. My favorite site is: http://www.janbrett.com/mitten_masks_ main.htm. Make sure you print the PDF file so the mask is large enough. 2. Print out your selection 3. Slather some glue on the back of the mask sheet and stick it to the cardstock or what- have-you 4. Smooth out any bubbles/creases then cut around the mask 5. The eyes are tricky. I just bend them a little and then cut the crease. Once you have a hole, cut around the eye circle. 6. Make two slits on the sides and thread the ribbon through. 7. Put over your face, walk to the mirror and let out a chuckle. You’re an animal now! Photos by Love, Christine 13 Photos by Jeremiah Garcia

Photos by Fred Benenson MORNINGWOOD’S GUIDE TO GETTING PEOPLE NAKED DURING A SHOW By Chantal Claret 1. Having a song that entices people to get naked generally helps. While we have our own “TAKE OFF YOUR CLOTHES” (which you are more than welcome to borrow), other favorites include “Ass & Titties” by DJ Assault, “It’s Business Time” by Flight of the Con- chords and “Hello” by Lionel Richie (I dunno what it is about clay that makes people want to strip). 2. Look for a willing participant, preferably someone of AGE. A good trick to ﬁnding people who are legally “ready to party” is to have them hold up their alcoholic beverages. If they are old enough to drink they are old enough to be inebriated and stupid enough to get naked infront of copious amounts of people. 3. Know how to pace the nudity. I like to start with a little foreplay, maybe a nice slap on the tits, a little hair pulling, and a lick on the neck. I generally like to save the handcuffs for the second verse. Although it is just a “show” and this is all for “fun.” Having lovely girls and boys get on stage and roll around with you is a means to an end/or beginning, so the trick is to CLIMAX with the CLIMAX of the song. When you reach the outro chorus you better be getting your rocks off cause you are almost out of time . . .

Enjoy your SXSW, wear a condom and say my name. 14

How to Fake Interest in a Friend’s Band When They Simply Suck.

By Niki Randa Most everyone I know is confronted with the problem of a good group of friends getting together to form a not so good group of musicians. We are frequently forced to attend shows, pay covers, and worst of all give an opinion on the lackluster music at hand. A lot of the time, the company can make up for the earache. But when it can’t, how do you keep a friend and ditch his band? You could get an early morning job, and risk the potential of not being able to attend any with an attractive member of the opposite sex, shows for the duration of your employment. and maybe even get them to leave with you. In return, you avoid the chance of ever hav- That is a double-win. Flippin’, anything you can ing to give an honest opinion, but may miss think of to genuinely distract your attention! several enjoyable shows in the interim. You could choose to perpetually show up “too Okay, there is a worst-case scenario... and it’s late” …or excuse yourself out in the middle typically when you are within an earshot of the for a long smoke all the way through the set clatter for the entire set…choosing not to duck- in question. out even once. And say, for instance, that the band is undeniably, extraordinarily shamefully You may choose to buck up and show up. bad. Really, they are complete rubbish, and Share a little support and even develop without a single inkling as to how appalling they some needed acting skills. Practice cheering actually are. There are kinder ways of slipping and singing along, despite not knowing one them simple indicators without smashing their actual lyric. I would recommend claiming dreams and squashing the camaraderie with a a broken CD player, or t-shirt dye allergy, if “BOO”. Mention that the sound at the venue is pressured to purchase something from the notably terrible, or that the sound guy is a jerk. merch booth. But feel free to nod your head Or, tell them they sound “just like” the band along to whatever song they are ripping off they are obviously biting, and try to serve it up this time around. Hell, sometimes familiar- like a compliment. ity alone is worth an enthusiastic reception. More than half the world is satisfied with You could go as far as to tell them that they cheesy cover bands anyhow, right? I myself “suck”, but smile and laugh extra goofy-like have a hard time faking enthusiasm. So while you do, as not to lead on that you are maybe evading the sore subject entirely, is serious. That could be fun. Suggest that they the desired route. add a girl, or recommend that they get a new drummer. Bands are always self-consciously If fibbing isn’t your thing, steer clear of ever thinking along those lines anyway. Tell them having to lie to a loved one, and try … that a light-show would add to the general feel, getting too drunk to remember. Then, when and aren’t a very expensive appendage. asked about the set the previous night you can honestly say “the last thing I recall is a Even with all of these helpful devices, there mad dash to Del Taco before you went on.” are still the few friends who should be clearly Get in an elongated line for the bathroom, encouraged to stop playing music all together. even if you don’t have to pee. You may in- How do you break it to them...gingerly? I say advertently have one saved up for when you get a puppet to do it….and maybe have the finally reach the stall, and that’s even more puppet advise them that it’s a good idea to minutes to bide. Strike up a conversation embark on the journey of a DJ. 16 Rock and Roll Arts and Crafts By Vanessa Herzog Photos by Jeremiah Garcia

Have you ever wondered who actually buys those Barry Manilow, Barbara Streisand and Toto vinyl records when thumbing through the stacks at your local record store? Well, these records may not have a life on anyone’s turntables anymore, but they can have a new life on your coffee table! With a little ingenuity these bargain records can turn into lovely decorative bowls that will impress your friends and neighbors alike!

Getting Started Go to your local record store, swap meet, thrift store, etc. and dig for the perfect record to make your bowl out of. Try to choose one that has a colorful or interesting label, since this will be the center of your bowl. Colored vinyl or picture disks are great too, if you don’t like plain old black vinyl. I don’t recommend spending more than $2 on your record. I chose the Village People’s “Go West” record featuring the smash hit “In the Navy” for $1.98.

What you will need: • 1 appropriate record for melting (please don’t use something like the Rolling Stones or Velvet Underground, unless they’re scratched and can’t be played) • Cookie sheet • Oven-safe bowl, ceramic or metal (a cereal bowl is perfect!) • Hot mitt • Oven preheated to 300 degrees

While your oven is preheating to 300 degrees, place the bowl face down on the cookie sheet, then place your record on top of the bowl. Make sure the side of the label that you want on the inside of your bowl is facing the bowl on the cookie sheet. Position the record label over the center of the bowl. This will help in shaping your record once it comes out of the oven.

Place the cookie sheet in the center rack of the oven and watch the magic happen! Vinyl melting times vary, but I have found that the record doesn’t need to stay in the oven longer than 3 minutes. In fact, some records only require one minute in the oven.

Always keep your kitchen area well ventilated. Melting any type of plastic releases fumes and we don’t want you to breathe that nasty stuff.

Don’t take your eyes off the vinyl. Turn on your oven light so you can watch the fun! When the vinyl begins to fold and melt around the bowl, you know your record is ready for shaping.

Carefully take your record out of the oven to begin shaping your bowl. Be swift because it will cool quickly.

Don’t forget to use your hot mitt!

The vinyl will naturally shape itself around the bowl, so try to embrace what it wants to do. Use the bowl to mold and shape the record around it. The record will be hot, but hopefully cool enough to handle without a hot mitt.

Be cautious!!! If it’s still too hot, keep your mitts on! Flip the bowl over and continue shaping it to your liking. The good news is that if you aren’t satisﬁed with how your bowl is turning out, you can simply stick it back in the oven to reheat and reshape it.

Once the vinyl returns to room temperature it will hold that shape. Pure magic!

For a slightly different look, you can place the bowl right side up with the record on top. When you remove the record from the oven, take a glass and press the record into the bowl. This is will give it a nice ﬂower shape with petals.

Once you’ve got the shape you like, remove the glass and pinch the corners together to create the petals.

If the record is still too hot to handle without gloves, use your hot mitt!

Record bowls also make quite dashing hats too!

When complete, place the bowl on your coffee table for all to see! Stand back and wait for the compliments to stream in. Enjoy!

Waterloo Records

By Dina G When first I laid eyes on Waterloo Records in the summer of 1998, I knew she was trouble. All buzzing and gleaming like she does, all slick and sleek, all well lit and air conditioned, all popular and cheery-o with her clever little underground logo. I smelled her cool white danger, and I knew she was bound to ruin me. And she did. My boyfriend and I, who’d just moved together from Ohio, were walking by en route to somewhere else and he was like, “Let’s just go in real quick.” I knew what “real quick” meant in boyfriend-speak, so I said enough conversation, but he’d be looking at sure, fine, whatever. An hour and a half later, his watch the whole time and saying cryptic I’d exhausted the used music section, grown things like “Flaming Lips or The Dirty Three, bored with pawing the colorful lettuce across Flaming Lips or Dirty Three or Another Green the street at Whole Foods, and finished off World, can’t decide…” “I think our relation- my cinnamon shake from the Ice House next ship needs some work,” I said. He stared at door. It was uber-hot, I smelled like onions, me, glugged the rest of his Lone Star, and and I was annoyed. I went back in and there said “Flaming Lips it is, then.” he was, my boyfriend, still elbow deep in the vinyl section. I called his name and he looked So we broke up. The next time I saw him up, blank as the White Album, and said he was on his bike, which was plastered “There’s way too much to look at.” with Waterloo stickers. The blue milk crate bungeed on the back was full of albums, and Had I known then that I could have been he was careening toward the store, never listening to CDs in the little sauna-like listen- minding the traffic. ing rooms the whole time. Had I known that When he finally recognized me he said, “Can I could have looked up reviews in any of the I borrow some money?” numerous record guides or pored over the I asked what for. slick magazines undisturbed. Had I known “I’m trying to make you an emotionally that their inventory is huge and their return charged break-up mix, and there’s just one policies merciful, that the Web site is possibly more Dio album I need to buy,” he said. more valuable than Pitchfork or your best I raised my eyebrows. friend as far as recommendations and new “Honest,” he said. release dates go, that their in store perform- I forked over the money and sighed as I lost ances provide free music and free beer (this him to Waterloo for the last time. But some- SXSW alone there will be 15 such shows), times I feel nostalgic, and the mix was good. that the salespeople know almost everything, So, every now and then I go visit him where including Iggy Pop’s birth name and who he lives under the Lamar Street bridge in his really killed Kurt Cobain, my story might have makeshift version of Leonard Cohen’s “Tower been different. But I didn’t, and so it wasn’t. of Song,” buttressed with albums, cordoned with jewel cases, bannered with unspooled When my boyfriend found out about Water- black tape that blows obliviously in the wind, loo’s biannual 20 percent off sale, things slid and where he can, from atop a turret lined downhill like wet feet at Barton Springs. with liner notes, watch his beloved as she holds court over the corner of 6th and Lamar. I wouldn’t see him for days at a time, and when I did he’d act all guilty and smell over- 600A North Lamar, Austin whelmingly like plastic. We’d go out to eat, 512.474.2500 but he’d insist we go somewhere suspicious- M-Sat, 10-11; Sun 11-11 ly close to Clarksville. We’d have pleasant www.waterloorecords.com 21 Sam’s BBQ: It’s All Good.

By Julie Ingram As I walk through the door, the man behind the register nods to his left at Big D. Big D’s the man I came to see. Big D is a gentle man who loves sausage mutton. He loves the idea of a gathering place where people can hang out and eat. The wooden picnic table seats us both comfortably, and I can’t help but notice that the place is wallpa- pered in yellowed articles celebrating Big D’s passions, mainly University of Texas football and the Austin music scene. Big D was born in Round Rock, Texas (currently known as Dell Country), and later became a taxi cab driver. It was during his late night rides that he caught sight of Sam’s BBQ and took notice of the late night vibe. By 1978 Big D was becoming part of the nocturnal clientele himself, and decided to buy ‘the pit’ from the previous owner who was growing too feeble to run the joint. The Eastside was bustling then, full of cool cats and rugged musicians who often visited Sam’s BBQ in the wee hours of the morning. Big D recalls how Stevie Ray Vaughn and other local musicians would frequently stop by to get a bite to eat after Photo by Greg Omelchuck a gig. Now in 2006, Sam’s still has the best barbecue in town, a claim the most after two bites, I realize there’s no use in frequent patrons, like Mike Judge, Vanessa pressing Big D anymore, because yes, “It’s Williams and Frank O’Hara, would support. all good.” Big D has heard some people’s trepida- Sam’s BBQ is a family-operated business. tion about coming to “the Eastside.” Some It is run by Dan (Big D), Veronica (who people have told him that it’s in a “bad prefers to be called Renee), Karen, Wanda, area.” His only response to that is that if Brian, Willie and Dan Junior. It is open these people actually came to eat at the seven days a week and you’ll probably restaurant, they’d see that it was in fact a find Big D in the southwest corner, reading well-kept, clean barbecue joint. the paper or talking to a friend. If you visit Austin, stop by Sam’s. And remember that And what fine barbecue! I try to get specif- whatever you choose, you’re gonna like it. ics about the best plates, and Big D only says: “It’s all good.” But really, if I were 2000 E. 12th, going to eat here just once, what would I 512.478.0378 have? “Whatever you choose, you’re gonna Sun-Thu, 10am-2am; like it.” Fri-Sat, 10am-3am Renee, his daughter, fixes me a plate of pork ribs with potato salad and beans, and 22 Photo by Jonathan Arehart – www.clarkk.net How to Fall Back in Love with Ice Cream By Dina G When I was a kid I was a huge freak about Now with stores all around town (and in ice cream—I’d go through several of the Houston and San Antonio) they can spread mushy cardboard half-gallons a week their cold, sweet love more efficiently and (always busting in from the ends and thoroughly. never the proper way, via the center of the box)—but then one day I became an adult, Because they’ve branched out (the Burnet lost my taste for it, and got into things like store will start serving burgers soon) Amy wild mushrooms and Brie and beer instead. finds herself battling her own “corporate” It was a little sad, all that growing up, and image. She manages not to sell out like I didn’t even realize what I’d been missing larger, national chains (“Actually, we’re until I walked into the Amy’s Ice Cream kicking their ass,” Steve says with a smirk) store on Burnet and Northland in Austin, by respecting her employees, donating Texas. to local charities (and starting their own, “Choose Austin First”), buying locally when The refurbished gas station, with its bright possible, never being too busy to chat with colors and loud music—what owners Amy her customers despite working 60-70 hours and Steve call part of “the Experience”—in- a week, and making sure the ice cream stantly made me feel eight again. I got a is damn good. She doesn’t care much battered and beaten scoop of Mexican va- for advertising, claiming that, “Commu- nilla with Reese’s Peanut Butter Cup crush nity involvement gets you so much more and I was back in love. It was simple—just mileage.” This is especially true in Austin, peanut butter, just vanilla, served up typical where people love their local haunts and Amy’s style with an under-the-leg toss—but where the small-town feel sticks like praline alone in the store on a drizzly white Friday despite the growing population. I suddenly felt like Charlie after he wins the chocolate factory from that scheming “Our goal was never to make money,” she Willy Wonka: All this is mine? No, they told says. “We just wanted to make some- me gently, prying my fingers off the steel thing good and do it well.” Sounds simple freezer, it wasn’t. But I felt happy anyway. enough, at least until you start inventing flavors even an adult would love like Grass- And that’s part of Amy’s thing. “It’s an awful hopper and Guinness. world out there,” Amy says, bundled up in her gray hoodie and watching the rain. To Available at ten cowprint splattered loca- combat the nastiness, their mission state- tions around town. ment is to “Make People’s Day.” And they do, and have been ever since 1984 when www.amysicecream.com they opened their first store on Guadalupe. 23

Photo by Kevin Mize Burn and Turn – Hit and Run By Alex Arciniega To some HIT+RUN might seem like vehicu- bringing people together to get involved in lar manslaughter, but to those who know making a cultural event.” it’s more of an assault on mass production and lackluster designs. Brandy Flower This spring and summer HIT+RUN will be and Mike Crivello, among others, have traveling across the United States, doing started to challenge the notion of mass- what they do best – one-night stops in market garment design by introducing each city. Equal parts art, music, food and screens with a life expectancy of under a fun, the nationwide tour is bound to attract week. HIT+RUN caters to those that like new fans and have current fans awaiting the concept of individuality, allowing the their next prints like angry-rabid dogs. customer to pick from a series of exclusive The prices are quite reasonable – finding a screen-print designs and arrange them as quality shirt will cost in the neighborhood they wish. of 20 bucks. Ladies, don’t you worry just yet, these guys know how to cater to your “T-shirts are the modern uniform. It’s the style by supplying clean cuts that flatter the perfect canvas for personal expression and feminine figure. identification. We took it all one step further, printing our own shirts and graphics,” Brandy sums it up; “People are tired of says Brandy Flower of how the creative buying the same mass-produced clothing concept began. with corporate logos emblazoned on them. They want to wear clothing that expresses Mike Crivello has been freelancing for the who they are as an individual. Through apparel industry for approximately eight HIT+RUN people can acquire a one-of- years. When asked how this differs from a-kind garment, and participate in the what he has experienced working for creation of it.” other companies Crivello says, “People get to see first-hand how the screen-print- www.thehitandrun.com ing process is done. It is a great way of 25 A short synopsis of the current projects of Sean ‘Blacklist’ Carlson, humanitarian and music fan.

Burritos For Everyone! By Michael Coyle Many say it’s merely youth that invigor- including Giant Drag, The Mae Shi, and re- ates him, but when you talk—even just via cently disbanded wild men the Mean Reds. email, as was the case here—with 20-year- Ten comedians performed and fifty people old Sean ‘Blacklist’ Carlson, you realize shared their art. He did it again in 2005 with his fuel is actually distilled from a healthy the profits going toward a new all-ages set of socially uplifting street-smart ethics music venue in the Long Beach area. (aka DIY Punk Soul). Most of us put our change into the March of Dimes can by the Here’s why this works. Sean, who is work- checkout at the grocery store and feel our ing with Circle Jerks/Black Flag crooner karma balanced — Sean organizes a public Keith Morris to book the third Fuck Yeah scavenger hunt to earn food and goods Fest slated for June 30-July 2, only wants for a Los Angeles homeless shelter. The to “make enough money to buy a burrito on people played and the poor got paid. the way home and fill up my gas tank, but nothing more.” There was a similar impetus behind Sean’s Fuck Yeah Fest, an all-ages gathering of He also turns out zines galore (his original varied tunes, visual art and comedy that passion, besides hanging out with home- runs in and around some Echo Park clubs. less people), including helping to launch Patterned after a show he saw in Florida the instantly collectable L.A. Record. while on tour, Sean decided to pick up the phone and make it happen once he got Asked about what would happen if all these back to LA. “When I got back to LA after great events ever start turning profits, he the tour, I started telling people about the expands his own philosophy outward, [Florida] Fest and how I thought something proclaiming, “I’d walk around all day shar- like it should be done. No one really cared. ing my wealth by buying everyone burritos To them I was just a drunk 18-year-old who and coffee and giving hugs to strangers. was running my mouth,” he explains. I couldn’t see a better way to spend the day.” With minimal help, Sean ended up throwing the first Fuck Yeah Fest in June of 2004. www.thelatreasurehunt.com. 2000 people showed up to see bands 26

How to Silkscreen Your Own Shirts By David Gooch So you wanna silkscreen? Word of advice: water based and available at your local art It’s a pain in the ass. But if you really want to supply store. do it the least you can do is do it half-assed. So here I am to help you out. And that, really, is all you need to get started. Of course, now you’re only going to What you need, or, what I say you need. If be able to print blobs of color, but you’ll be you’re crafty you can find some alternatives: printing something. What? You want more than weird streaks of nothing? Must I do Screen (I know, this is already moving fast everything for you? Fine. for you): You can get a cheap screen at most art supply stores, I recommend going to a A printing surface: What I find works screenprint supplier if you can. Something great (assuming you don’t want to buy an with a mesh (the count of filaments in an expensive printing press) is a smooth piece inch of screen) around 125 should be good of thick wood (why are you laughing?) and for most projects. The higher the number, screen clamps. Those are clamps made the finer the mesh, the more detail you can specifically for holding a screen. They aren’t get. But, it is also easier to clog. The size of too expensive and they’re easy to use. You your screen depends on what size imagery can also get another piece of wood and you want to work with. If this part was too attach door hinges to it and to the screen if complicated, give up. you don’t plan on removing the screen from its place. You want to make sure that the Squeegee: First, make sure it’s wide enough clamps are raised to the thickness of what to cover your image, plus about an inch on you’re printing on. They can attach straight each end, and that it’s narrow enough to fit to the board if you’re printing on paper, but within your screen. You also want be make thicker materials obviously won’t fit flat in sure and get a square edged squeegee of that case. medium hardness—about 70 durometer (durometer is a measure of the hardness of Stencils: There are several ways to create the rubber – no joke!). images on a screen. The easiest is to take some butcher paper (or wax paper) and cut Ink: First of all, it is not paint. Do not go into out stencils and tape it to the screen. It’s a screenprint store and say you’re looking not unlike making stencils to spray paint a for silkscreen paint. They will punch you in stupid picture of (insert ironic 70’s/80’s icon your stupid face, or at least they’ll roll their here). Another, slightly more complicated eyes. Second, get a water-based ink, it’s way is to buy screen filler and screen draw- way easier to clean up and it’s better for the ing fluid. Screen filler is a liquid that you environment (maybe, I don’t really know or can paint on a screen, and when it dries, it care, I’m a douche bag). Most fabric ink is blocks the ink from going through. Drawing 28 fluid dries, then repels screen filler and can Glass and Foam: To hold down your images be washed out with water. So, you can paint flat to the screen, you’ll need a heavy piece an image with drawing fluid, when it dries, of plate glass. To keep it sandwiched in paint over it with screen filler, then when that and to keep light from coming in from the dries, wash out the drawing fluid with water bottom, you need some foam rubber cut to and bam, you have a stencil. This works well fit into the well of the screen (or something if you’re a painter-type person and want to comparable, foam rubber is just the easiest). be expressive with your brush strokes and all that garbage. Images: Finally, you need the image to print. Either half tone dot images or line drawings But, if you want to be real with this whole printed out through a laser printer onto a endeavor, you have to use photo emulsion. transparency, or you can print it out onto This means you need several new things, regular paper and cover it in baby oil, which which I will get to very shortly. Photo emul- makes the paper transparent. Laser photo- sion allows you to print a line drawing or copy machines also work. computer half tone image. It is the most versatile and professional method of printing. It Pressure Washer and Cleaners: To clean is also the most complicated. out your screen when you’re done using it, it’s best to have a high-powered pressure Emulsion: You’ll need an emulsion that is washer. A high-powered spray nozzle on meant for printing with water-based inks. your hose will work OK, but a cheap pres- You can get Speedball brand emulsion for sure washer is the way to go. You’ll also cheap at most art stores, which works fine. need screen emulsion remover. It’s a chemi- There are better brands out there (I use cal made specifically for, yes, removing Ulano), and depending on how serious you screen emulsion. are, you might want to go with those. But for starters, cheap is probably the way to go. So now you’re ready to print. You got your screen coated and dried. You got your Dark Room: This is key, the whole idea of transparency. You sandwiched it under the a photo process is that you use light to glass and started exposing it to your light expose the emulsion, so naturally, you want source. After a few minutes (you’ll have to a dark place to work with it. The good thing test how long you need to expose it as dif- is that screen emulsion isn’t as sensitive ferent lights take different times) you take it as photographic emulsion, so a little light out and wash out the image with water (not won’t kill it. Find a place as dark as possible too much pressure, you don’t want to blow (garage, bathroom, closet) and put a low out the non-image areas). wattage red or orange light bulb in there. Even a bug light should work fine. Once you’re sure the image is washed out and the screen is dry, you bring it to your Scoop Coater: To apply the emulsion evenly, printing area to print. Cover up any open you can buy a scoop from a screenprint areas where ink might squirt out and attach supplier. If you can’t spend the extra money the screen to your clamps (or whatever you on that you can find other ways to coat the may be using.) You can tape some mylar to screen, but I’m not going to help you with the table first and print on that to find out those. where your image will be printed. Place your material where you want the image to fall. Light Source: The sun is the most obvious Put some ink into the well of the screen. light source to use to expose your screen. Say a little prayer and pull the ink across the The problem is you can’t always count on it, image with your squeegee. Make sure to especially if you live in a cloudy area. Plus, use even pressure and keep the squeegee exposure times are going to vary depending at a little higher than 45-degree angle. Lift on where the sun is in the sky, etc. So, I sug- the screen and you have magic. So, it’s easy gest building a box. All you need are some as all that. I would suggest also taking a silk- flood lights (I actually use black lights), and screen class at your local junior college (or a place to put them. A wooden box of some university) to get some more insight. Also, sort works fine. I attached the lights to the there are many online guides to help answer bottom of a short table and put black plastic any further questions you may have. Good around the edges to keep outside light out. luck and don’t screw anything up. 29 How to Start Your Own Vegan Guitar Strap Company By Dan Perkins I never really knew there was such a thing Andy Warhols, vintage pinups, vintage rac- as a guitar strap company. Well, not one ing stripes, and now, silkscreened straps that isn’t owned by a middle-aged hippy created by some of our favorite gallery guy with a pot belly, polo shirt and balding artists and fashion designers. Tons of our pony tail. To me it seems that only guys like favorite bands have been spotted buying that are designing the guitar straps I see in Couch Guitar Straps and wearing them on stores, and I really wanted a unique vegan stage: Nels Cline of Wilco, former Velvet strap for my vintage Telecaster. And one Underground guitarist John Cale, Go Go’s with some sort of style. bassist Jane Wiedlin etc. etc. We made a web site, and it’s been really cool shipping When it came time to pay rent on my Long our vegan straps around the world. The Beach apartment one month, I instead site has also helped establish busy retail bought a 30-year-old industrial sewing ma- accounts like Psychederhythm Guitars chine for $750, moved it and myself to my in Tokyo and Factory People Boutique in friend Chris’s living room and started learn- Austin, Texas. ing to sew. I found some great seatbelt material at an automotive upholstery shop The real challenge in starting a company on about the same day that Chris walked like this is in actually getting your product in the door with a small Virgin Mary prayer produced. The day-to-day operations at card that perfectly matched the giant Couch Guitar Straps is usually spent in the Virgin of Guadalupe tattoo across his right bowels of East Los Angeles’ fashion district shoulder. He asked me if I’d sew this image sourcing materials and manufacturers. The onto the strap for him so he could use it on bigger challenge, though, is just taking his bass. Our first design was born, and we your idea for what you’d like to see in the sold out at Siren Boutique down the street world and actually making it happen. Tell all within a month or so. your friends your grand plan. The shame of not getting it done will get you up and at it Since then we’ve made vegan guitar straps each day when you get off your couch. out of seat belts, vinyl and automotive upholstery material with images of Marys, www.couchguitarstraps.com 30 The Concert Shot by Timothy Norris So you want to grow up to be Anton Point and Shoot Info Corbijn, tour with one of the biggest rock bands of all time and change the way the 1) Make sure you know how to turn the world sees rock and roll photography forev- flash OFF. This will be very important if the er. Or maybe you just want hang out with fog machines are blowing, because the your friends’ band and get some cool shots on-camera flash will reflect off the fog and of them the next time they’re playing at Jer- your photos will be nothing but smoke and ry’s Pizza. Well, whatever your inspiration, the faint abstraction of someone holding a there are a few things you’ll need to know guitar somewhere in all the smoke. TURN before you start getting those great shots, THE FLASH OFF! developing your eye and capturing some of those magical moments on the stage. 2) Set the ISO/ASA rating to the highest number possible. Sometimes this is only First thing you’ll need to think about is the 400 ISO, but you may find 800 on some gear. To start out you should get yourself cameras. You may also be able to adjust the best digital SLR camera body you can for a PLUS or MINUS “1” or “2”. If you afford with a 50 mm/f 1.8 lens (f 1.4 if you adjust for PLUS “2” this will increase the can afford a few hundred extra bucks). sensitivity in low light situations to 1600 Canon and Nikon come to mind and prob- ISO from 400 ISO. One last thing to note ably offer the best growth opportunities about the point and shoot cameras in low (in terms of lens upgrades) of anybody in light is that your images may turn out look- the market. If the only camera you can get ing very “noisy”. That’s just how it goes. your hands on is a point and shoot style, If all else fails, turn your flash back on and then I’ll get right to what you need to know hand the camera to your sister and let her about that: figure it out. 31 3) Lastly, White Balance. If you can set and the gel will change the “white” light this, set it to tungsten or incandescent. from the flash to “amber” or “tungsten”), and lastly reduce the power output of the SLR Manual Setting Info flash way down (if you’re right up front take it to 1/64 of full power). These flash tips 1) Set the ISO to 1600. This will be the will help you keep the “feel” of the show fastest speed on most entry level digital in your images and bring out some of the SLR’s. details you’d like to see.

2) Set the White Balance to tungsten or 7) Always experiment with these tips and incandescent (same thing different names). try new things of your own. That’s all part of developing your own style. 3) For a “dark club” set your aperture to f 1.8 to start with. This will give you the So you’ve got the gear and now it’s time to maximum amount of light through the lens. start shooting. A few more tips before you get to the show: 4) For the same “dark club” set the shutter speed to 1/60 and take a shot of 1) Make sure it’s OK to photograph the stage to see what things look like. If the show with the band and/or venue it looks too dark, you may need to open and check for what restrictions may be up the shutter a little to say 1/50 or 1/30. enforced by either. Sometimes it’s OK to Just remember that the slower the shut- shoot, but only without flash. ter speed the more motion blur you will capture in your image. You may like the 2) Show up early to get a good spot “abstract” effect a slower shutter speed will near the stage if you know it going to be produce, just be aware that this is what will packed. If you can’t get there early just be happen. cool, more times than not people will make some room for you to get some shots. 5) Set your metering system to “Spot Me- 3) Composition and timing. Look at your ter”. This will give you the most accurate shots as they “open up” to you learn to light reading in the smallest of areas of any anticipate action before it happens so you of the meter settings in your camera. This are ready when it does. If the singer is will enable you to get a proper light read- standing on the bass drum then there’s a ing, say from the cheek or face, to which good chance he’ll be flying over the stage you can make adjustments one way or an- in a few seconds. Keep your eye on every- other to get the proper exposure. Just be thing. quick because that light might be changing even quicker. 4) Move around a little. Sometimes you’ll find a better perspective than you had. 6) If you must use flash read and think about the following. There are many rea- 5) Be cool and have fun. sons why people take photos at a concert, but one thing that I try to capture in my These tips will get you on your way to images is the energy and essence of the some great shots. Shoot as often as you show. Sometimes a darkened silhouette can, keep trying new things, have fun and of the lead singer has more to say about you will see your images improve all the that band/artist than being able to count time. how many eyelashes he has. But if you must use flash do the following: pick up Peace. an external flash to mount on top of your camera, put an orange/amber gel over the www.timothynorris.com flash (keep your white balance on tungsten 32 Photo Courtesy of www.minikissonline.com Why You —Yeah You—Should Start A Cover Band By Matt Dupree As the old cliché goes, imitation is the The costumed eccentrics of Gram Rabbit sincerest form of flattery. By that wisdom, started out as a Gram Parsons tribute. And cover bands (and their brethren, tribute on the darker side of things, it’s fairly com- bands) are the pinnacle of musical appre- mon to see a pop starlet du jour release a ciation. For those who need clarification, a sugar-and-spice-girl’d version of a throw- cover band plays songs originally recorded back hit. Hell, sometimes they cover a song by another group, and a tribute band hones that’s only a few years old (shame on you that concept to one specific recording Joss). The point is, for all the heat they take artist. Me First & The Gimme Gimmes are a for unoriginality, cover bands can be just as cover band; MiniKiss is a tribute act (a tiny unique as any other group. I mean, really, one). These types of bands are often over- who doesn’t love a KISS tribute made up looked as a group of musical maladroits entirely of midgets?! attempting to cash in on the efforts of more successful groups. As an alumnus of two This, good friends and strangers, is of these bands (An 80’s cover outfit and a why you should start a cover band. Pick Radiohead tribute), I can say with certainty up a guitar, or just some bongos, and rock that it is much more than that. out. You might be surprised at what you have to offer a song. It’s not hard to get a Film Legend Federico Fellini once said, gig at your local dive bar, and sometimes “Even if I set out to make a film about a fil- the pay comes in the form of drinks (many let of sole, it would be about me.” Likewise, great musicians also develop a taste for no cover band can completely duplicate the sauce, consult your doctor before a song. The individuality of the musicians adopting this age-old tradition). You do it will imprint itself on the song. Many great in the shower, and you do it in the car, so musicians still honor the tradition of cutting you might as well get some groupies out of their teeth on covers by performing them it. Grab some friends and pick a gimmick, live, usually with a level of cheesy glee that pick two even; it’s really that simple. Now if is nothing if not infectious. The Minutemen you’ll excuse me, there’s a paraplegic yeti grew up busting out bluesy rock standards at the door here to audition on drums. before they caught whiff of punk rock. 33 From Iceland to Austin Photo Courtesy of Storsveit Nix Noltes.

by Matthias Ingimarsson/Brooks Institute of Photography

Appearing at this year’s SXSW is a versatile Q: On that note, what do you think that you bunch of bands from Iceland, from the big guys will get out of playing at a festival like band Storsveit Nix Noltes with their Eastern this? European gypsy sound, to the youngsters A: Something tells me that we will be hav- of Jakobinarina, who have been said to ing more fun than getting money. Most of follow in the footsteps of The Joy Division, us have never been to Texas before and are and described as a junior Franz Ferdinand really looking forward to play for the locals by Rolling Stone Magazine. and out-of-towners. I mean Icelanders playing Eastern European gypsy music, Off the Wookie called up Hildur Gudnadot- what can go wrong?? tir, the charming cellist from Storsveit Nix Noltes, and asked her about the festival Q: Any other shows lined up in Texas? and what the music scene in Iceland is like. A: Not at the moment, but after SXSW we are going on a mini-tour through Washing- Q: So how did you guys get booked at ton, Philly and New York, so be sure to look SXSW? for us in those cities. A: Our label manager (Adam Pierce, Bubble Core Records), who also runs FatCat USA, Q: How would you describe the scene in is throwing a FatCat night at the festival so Iceland? he called us up and asked if we would join A: The thing that makes the scene back the party. We are also starting a tour with home so unique is how small and friendly Animal Collective, so we thought it would it is. It’s sort of like the theme song from be perfect to kick start the tour at SXSW. “Cheers”, “where everybody knows your name, and they are always glad you came,” 34 Photos Courtesy of Storsveit Nix Noltes. which is most of the time really good, but goes to check it out. I think that it’s really important for musi- And on that note the Wookie says goodbye cians to get out of their country and play to to Hildur and looks forward to seeing broaden the horizons. Storsveit Nix Noltes play at this year’s festival. Q: How have you been doing in records sales since your new album came out? Also appearing at the festival are DR. A: I have to admit, I haven’t got a clue, but Spock, SIGN, Jakobinarina and My Sum- have been told that it’s doing OK, which mer as a Salvation Soldier, so be sure not in fact is good. I mean Eastern European to miss out on these bands from the “Land gypsy music isn’t mainstream. of Fire and Ice,” as they bring some cool from back home. Q: Do you think Myspace and music from band Web sites are helping Icelandic bands Web sites for the bands: get their name out? www.nixnoltes.tk, www.drspock.is, A: Hmm, you got me there. I’m so not in www.sign.is, www.jakobinarina.tk, contact with the world of WWW, but a and www.12tonar.is/thorir friend of mine told me the other day that Myspace was the thing that was selling albums. It’s clear, though, that the music industry changed a lot with downloading, which could both be good and bad. On that note, we just got our Web site up and running, so I guess we will ﬁnd out if that helps after the world reads your ‘zine and

light or a Levi’s party, but because they have to make music. Before self-righteous book- ers and after parties, there were kids doing shows in their parent’s basements, making zines on high school copy machines, and putting together a network of tours outside of the mainstream. It was about playing with your friend’s bands and seeing new places. This laid the foundations for all that we in the “underground” take for granted. It is nice that there are outlets within the machine that let us spread our wings and remember how funthis all can be. Photo by Kimberly M. Jackson Still the question persists…Why would a band travel over fourteen hundred miles to YOU WANT TO GO WHERE? play one show for thirty-five minutes? By Rob Wallace “It’s a chance to enjoy some really great mu- Cramped vans, AM/PM dinners, too much sic, eat some long overdue barbeque and drinking, not enough sleeping and no finally meet, in person, some of the people showering. To most people this sounds like that we have been corresponding with over you have entered Dante’s seventh level of the last couple of years that can’t make it hell, but to anyone that is in a touring band, out to the West Coast,” explains Terry of this is heaven. Tour is where you go from a Greater California band playing around town, to a road tested machine. It is where you learn if you really If you think about the trip rationally, it just like the people in your band, or if you are does not make any sense to make that long going to have “creative differences” and drive. You might as well just burn some break up when you get home. So when a money and stay at home. I am here to tell show at SXSW was placed in front of me, all you that it has nothing to do with the money, the thoughts of sweaty vans started dancing the prospect of being “discovered,” or any in my head and I figured now was as good a of that stuff. It is about getting in a van with time as ever to see if I can stand my band- your friends, hanging out, having adven- mates for more than a day. tures, meeting new people, seeing awesome bands, and supporting someone that is So the journey begins for three bands trying to give something back to the music from Long Beach; Repeater, Force field On, community that he loves. Just as people say and Greater California. It is a true DIY ad- on their deathbeds that life is not about how venture in every sense of the word. All three much money you have made or the things bands do not have label support; all costs that you owned, it is about having people come out of pocket. Just like the Ice Cream you love close to you and experiencing all Man stage that we will be playing. It is all that life has to offer. Tour stories are often done for the love of playing music, hearing legendary, and those experiences are worth music, supporting music. more than money.

“We are doing it mostly because Matt Allen Music is about being part of something. asked us to. Secondly, as a newer band I It is a family of people trying to make the think we could use the experience together. world a little bit better by getting their ideas And thirdly, it’s just nice to witness another out through song. All three of the bands crowd outside of your county judging you making this trip believe that it is important and whispering to their friends as you play,” to make connections in a community that says Jesse from Force Field On when asked is stretched thin by the music industry. Is it why he is making the trek out to Austin. crazy to make this trip? You bet. Is it worth it? Without a doubt. Life is about experi- While many people go out to SXSW to be ences, about taking risks, and I do not know seen or to be a part of the ever-growing anything more risky than driving a van with hype, there are many bands that still play for California plates into Texas. the love of the music. Not for a Fader spot- Ya…we must be crazy. 37

“Installationview,” 2005, installation view, mixed media, dimensions variable, Deitch Projects, New York, Photo by Tom Powel, Courtesy Deitch Projects Someone Write Ryan McGinness a Song By Heather Edgar status quo. In order to create art, he uses When Ryan McGinness was 14-year-old, whatever resources are available to him, he wanted a new skateboard but didn’t whether it is taboo or not. He once said, have the money for it. So, he did what any “If you let the world define you, you’re at a resourceful genius would do and wrote loss, like a puppet”. letters to companies requesting prizes for a bogus skate contest. His persistence paid The first time I saw an installation by Ryan off when, sure enough, these companies was at the Beautiful Losers exhibition at the sent him all kinds of promotional gear that Orange County Museum of Art. His layered he in turn shared with his friends. silk-screened paintings were surrounded by more imagery painted like colorful wild As an artist, Ryan approaches problems vines sprouting out onto the wall. I was with the same tenacity he employed back blown away by the amazing attention to then and has a reputation for being very detail that unfolded as I focused onto meticulous when it comes to the produc- details within his paintings. Layers of icons tion of his work. In his new book, instal- were combined as if to tell funny anecdotes lationview, he shares his thought process in a language entirely made up of interna- from concept to completion, Alongside tional symbols for tourists. the incredible artwork that results from all of his hard work. Ryan’s strict work ethic Lately, Ryan is enjoying a lot of interna- may have sprouted from years spent as a tional attention and has multiple exhibi- graphic designer, but it is more likely the tions planned for the next few months. result of a personal dedication. His artwork Because of his ability to synthesize the does not fit into the traditional categories diverse worlds of art, graphic design, and set up by critics because he uses both pop culture, while retaining his credibility his graphic design and art background and integrity, it’s no wonder he is receiving for his multi-media installations. This may this recognition. Right in the midst of a complicate the response to his work, but very busy time for him, Ryan filled out this Ryan is not concerned with maintaining the interview by e-mail: 39 H- When did you start to think of yourself ratorial internship at the Andy Warhol Mu- as an artist? seum after you graduated from Carnegie Mellon University. Do you look to his exam- RM- Childhood. ple when it comes to the balance between fine art and consumable products? H- What was your childhood like? RM- Andy Warhol’s paintings can definitely RM- I grew up in Virginia Beach, VA; be described as art products, and I think kindergarten through high school. I went that’s neat. to a school for gifted and talented children and studied art seriously from a young H- Your pieces have a strong sense of age. Virginia Beach was a suburban beach movement to them, have you ever consid- culture, and while I spent time at the beach ered animating some of your images? and building ramps and skating, I was also academically-oriented and was president RM- Yes, I did a video piece in 2002 titled of my class in high school, on the debate North Star. Bill McMullen co-directed it with team, honor society, the whole thing. I then me. went to Pittsburgh to study at Carnegie Mellon University. H- I would love to see that. Do you think that you will do more? H- Are there any artists/individuals that have inspired you stylistically or philosophi- RM- No. Video is not my medium. It was cally? a fun project, and I have actually done other video projects (compiled on a DVD RM- Andy Warhol. titled Video Happiness), but it just isn’t real enough for me. I remember my mother H- Andy Warhol is an enigma to me. The telling me the story of when I was young more I dig, the less I know. You did a cu- and saw a television for the first time. I kept

“Now Forever,” 2005, installation view, “Greater New York” exhibition, P.S.1/MoMA, New York, Photo by Tom Powel, Courtesy Deitch Projects 40 Untitled, 2003, oil and silkscreen ink on wood panels, 24 x 48 in., Photo by Tom Powel, Courtesy Deitch Projects

41 42 grasping out into the air toward the screen have a sense of your own influence? Do and asking “But is it real? Is it real?” you think one aspect of your art has had H- Because of your background in graphic more influence than others? design, aspects of two-dimensional space, iconography and symbols have been RM- I’d be careful about including the prominent alongside painterly swirls in advertising and entertainment industries in your fine art pieces. Did you ever hesitate “culture.” Work produced with a corporate to blend these two traditionally separated agenda behind it is not the kind of culture concepts? I want to celebrate. But yes, I also see my influence everywhere. It’s very strange for RM- No, they’re all symbols. The more me, because my work comes from a very baroque elements are just symbols for personal place with a deep history behind fanciness. it. When the spirit of my work is co-opted by corporations and a sales agenda is H- A lot of people assume that you cut and attached to it, the work is emptied of abso- paste clip art when in reality you change lutely everything meaningful. I know that art the designs to your satisfaction. Do you directors and advertising schmucks come think you are influencing the new clip art to my shows and buy my books. Those being produced? people are in the business of raping. But it’s hard to blame people for being them- RM- I actually do a lot of drawing, which is selves. There will always be that element in more process-oriented. It takes me quite society. some time to get a drawing exactly right. I don’t know if I am influencing new clip art H- As technology and computer programs being produced. become more popular among artists, do you think art and graphic design will be- H- The swirls, layers and icons of your style come one and the same? have found their way into American culture; I see evidence of your impact everywhere RM- Art and graphic design are two from printed media to television. Do you completely separate things. Technology

Photo by Dirk Westphal 43 Universal (48d, No. 6), 2005, polyesterurethane on fiberglass with aluminum and wood armature, 48 in dia. x 4 in., armature: 30 in. x 3 in. dia., Photo by Tom Powel, Courtesy Deitch Projects is just a tool. It cannot change, conceptu- market. However, it really isn’t much differ- ally, the two professions any more than a ent than making expensive art and having it microphone will make news reporting and purchased by rich people. “Toys/figures/ur- singing the same. ban-vinyl” is just a smaller game. H- It seems that as critics are trying to H- Are there any that you personally like or define the art movement you are a part dislike? of, they keep using terms like, “street art”, “graffiti art”, “skater art” and so on. Do RM- It’s all so wonderful. you think it’s a strategy to withhold fine art credibility? H- In your book, Sponsorship, the cata- logue to accompany your exhibition, you RM- I think that they think it just sounds interviewed many artists on the subject of cool. Those kinds of terms are usually used corporate sponsors, commissions and col- to relate the work to a target audience – 18 laborations. Do you see the increase of this to 30 year olds with disposable income. practice as a positive turn in an art move- The targets usually include those who fet- ment? Or do you feel that it has spawned ishize coveted objects from childhood like imitators who oversaturate and weaken toys and sneakers and those who tend to your personal visual language? believe in empty brand names, which cast only the shadows of something meaningful. RM- It is not positive. Corporations are not positive entities. H- What do you think about all of the artist- designed toys/figures/urban-vinyl etc.? H- What I meant was, do you and your peers feel validated that everyone is seek- RM- I don’t think much of it. Some of my ing out your art because they find it cool? friends make those things, and I like my And/or also, do you worry that it is friends, but I am curious about fueling that 44 Universal (36d, No. 3), 2005, polyesterurethane on fiberglass with aluminum and wood armature, 48 in dia. x 4 in., armature: 30 in. x 3 in. dia., Photo by Tom Powel, Courtesy Deitch Projects becoming mainstream and you are associated with people who are biting you? RM- I hope to never be associated with the people who are biting me. I’d hate to think that anyone would feel validated by the marketplace or by popularity. Is the best selling record the best record available? Does popular opinion yield us the best leaders? I’m most interested in making the best work that I can, and I recognize that I probably won’t be making the best work of my career for at least another 15 years. H- Do you have any words of advice for people who are interested in graphic design and/or art? RM- Go to a university and not just an art school. Learn many things. Most artists are idiots. H- Is there a band out there who you would love to do the cover art for? RM- No. Do you think there is a band out there who would like to write a song for me? Published by Rizzoli, 2005 47 “111,111,111 x 111,111,111,” 2005, acrylic on linen, 72 in. dia., installation view, “Pain-Free Kittens” exhibition, Quint Contemporary Art, La Jolla, Photo by Roy Porello, Courtesy Quint Contemporary Art

How to wheat-paste By Random I’ve found wheat-pasting to be an economical and effective way to disseminate information and art. It’s really basic. Most people wanting to get started make it seem way more complicated. Here’s how simple it is: Step 1. Come up with something new and interesting. Most view this as optional, but I think it’s mandatory. I can’t fucking stand mindless street art. Shepard Fairey took an image of a dead guy and put it everywhere. Easy, right? Well, there’s actually more to it than that, but yeah, it is easy. He did it already, and that means you can’t. Oh, you did a stupid little drawing and want to put it everywhere? Great, go for it. But you didn’t give us a reason to care and we’re tired of seeing it. Give the people something more. The landscape is already ﬁlled with mindless advertising and ugly graphics. Step 2. Make copies If you do it right, Xerox posters are punk rock. If you do it wrong, they look budget and amateur. I silkscreen all my posters by hand. It takes time to do, but the control is awesome. Go take a class at community college if you don’t know how to do it. Step 3. Gather supplies This is the part I’m sure all you fuckers are waiting for. I am always bombarded with the same stupid question: “What do you use to make your posters stick?” Like this is some big secret. Go to your local hardware store and get some wallpaper adhesive, a bucket and a brush.

Step 4. Put ‘em up. 50 For some, this is the second biggest secret of all time. It’s really simple. Brush the paste on the desired surface, put up the poster, and smooth it out with the brush. This shouldn’t take longer than a minute to do. Repeat until you run out of posters or paste. Now a word on etiquette: The only thing worse than a stupid poster campaign is when it’s right next to mine. Find your own damn spot. Or, perhaps even worse is when someone puts their poster over mine. Hey jackass, it’s not cool to go over someone else’s poster. Artists need to stick together to make the urban landscape better. We need to battle ugly corporate graphics, not the like-minded artist. There you have it. Be smart, be safe and be creative. www.buffmonster.com

53 Don’t do it in Arizona Photos by Branden Eastwood By Branden Eastwood Having a cop tell you “I will not hesitate were pumping freezing air into the cells. to taze your ass!” lays the groundwork for Even with a hoody it was too cold to sleep. one hell of a paradigm change. On April 4 of 2005, a good friend and I were arrested Before I had the chance to implement in Tempe, Arizona for spray painting on my strategy of staring at the floor and public property. We were taken to the making no kind of eye contact, one inmate notorious Horseshoe holding cell where we struck up a conversation with me. Initially got a first-hand look at Arizona’s version of it was a conversation I wanted to avoid, justice. but slowly the center of the room turned into a storytelling stage. Balls were being Maricopa County, Arizona is home to busted left and right. Within 15 minutes my one of the most twisted “justice” systems friend and I were non-maliciously pegged in the states. Wrongful murder convictions, as computer geeks and potheads. Two a county attorney who will not prosecute other men who had started a bar fight and citizens accused of violent crimes against broken a fish tank were trying to piece to- illegal aliens and a sheriff who houses gether what their fight was over and if they drunk driving inmates in tents in the middle actually broke the tank. There was no bad of the desert is just the start. blood and the distinction was clear that we were all laughing together. The holding cell looked like an over- stuffed ‘dangerous animal’ quarantine While prisoners were showing them- for all the dogs that were about to be selves to be one of the most supportive euphonized by the SPCA. The two small groups of friends that you could hope for, benches were each occupied by one the police were roughing up a kid who was sprawled person while the floor was littered in the midst of redefining the term “bad with dirty bodies. On the way to the cell trip.” Though I doubt he could help it, I the officers said they had just started allow- was glad to see he too could keep smiling. ing inmates to wear more than one shirt. It More experienced inmates translated paper was a fortunate change considering they work and explained charges while watching 54 out for the young prisoners who looked like There is no doubt that some of the obvious targets. One Abercrombie wear- people in the cell deserved punishment for ing kid, who could not have been a week what they had done, but in the words of over 18, had car thieves patting him on the Toots and The Maytals “I was innocent for back while cops treated him like an evil what they done to me.” Humans should delinquent. I wonder whom he felt loyal to not live their one life by arbitrary rules they by the time the day was over. do not believe in. The people in charge do not share many experiences or values Most of the people in the cell turned that the majority of festival going folks do. out to be compassionate humans. They It seems they have been fed one version cared about what their comrades were of morality that does not ring true for all emotionally dealing with and offered people, and unfortunately they have us all genuine support. The police offered green by our collective nuts. The justice system, ostrich meat for food. There was only one little do those bastards realize, has a way man that I was afraid of. He had something of creating effective criminals. You would in his eyes that I kept trying to see and un- think that high crime rates would clue derstand. It seemed to be a deranged look people in on the fact that the “get tough” that I had never seen in a human before. mentality does not work. Think back to Later, I found out that deranged look was some of your early school days. Kids pain, and it was tears I saw in his eyes. He that got spanked got good at not getting had been crying quietly for eighteen hours caught, while other kids could not stand because he was not permitted to wear a some parents’ versions of capital punish- back brace. ment: “I am not angry, just disappointed.”

Stickin’ It To Ticketmaster By Thomas McMahon

Before a recent Les Savy Fav performance, tickets who won’t charge you more than what I ventured to Ticketmaster.com to check they paid. the price of a ticket. The face value was a reasonable $17, but the addition of “conven- Perhaps the best-case scenario is finding an ience” and “processing” charges pumped up industry type who is there on business, has a the total to $27.15. pair of free tickets waiting for him at will call and didn’t bring a date. One of these fellows I’m no math expert, but a trustworthy cal- graciously gave me his spare at no charge. culator told me that that’s an increase of 60 Now, that doesn’t mean I was his date, even percent on the face value. And that, as they if I did buy him a thank-you drink inside. say, sucks! Of course, Ticketmaster isn’t the only But you already know that you hate Ticket- source for buying tickets in advance. There’s master. You’ve even called it “Ticketbastard” TicketWeb, which is generally more kind with to its slick face. Now how do you avoid it? fees. For a recent Robert Pollard concert, TicketWeb charged $4.57 more than the The most obvious way is to buy from the box $17.50 face value (a 26 percent fee, which office. This likely entails walking up to the seems like a gift compared to that 60 percent place on the night-of, praying that they have noted above). The problem here is the limited tickets left to sell. The big bonus here is that number of venues that use TicketWeb. you probably won’t pay more than face value. As far as I’m concerned, the best trick to If you have your sights on a popular show avoiding Ticketmaestro is to check venue that you think will sell out early, you might Web sites. Emo’s in Austin, Texas, offers tick- not want to wait until the event to make your ets to its shows online with no extra fee. move. However, there are cases in which the The Troubadour in Hollywood, Calif., provides box office still has tickets available the night instructions on its site for ordering tickets by of a show that was publicly deemed “sold fax (that’s right, e-people — fax). The added out.” charge is only $2 per serving.

Such has been my fortune twice in the past One more thing: Some venues make their year or so at Los Angeles’ Wiltern LG — one tickets available through local record stores. time seeing Wilco and another seeing Rilo If you want to see a show at Maxwell’s in Kiley. And at the 2004 Coachella jamboree, Hoboken, N.J., try that town’s own Tunes both days of which were called “sold out” be- or New York City’s Other Music for your forehand by the ofﬁcial Web site, tickets were advance passes. on sale at the entrance. I don’t know why this happens, but it seems to be fairly common I don’t know where you live, but these tips and can work to your advantage. can apply anywhere live music is sold. You may need to go out on a limb on occasion, Even if you show up without tickets and the but that just adds an extra touch of excite- venue doesn’t have any left, you can strike ment to the concert-going adventure. You’ll gold by asking around and, most likely, being feel better about yourself when you don’t get patient. Don’t get pressured into a painful whipped by the ’Master. deal with a professional scalper. There are bound to be decent concertgoers with extra 59

have adjusted and found other areas than Best Buy hit product to pay their rent… until now. With the jumping into line of these major indies, things are taking a turn for the worse. And, while I appreciate a bargain If you’ve been following the politics flying as much as the next guy, there is a real about in the music industry of late (and reason why a sale isn’t always such a great if not, http://sakistore.blogspot.com/ is a thing. There is a law in place that requires great place to get up to speed) you’ll have that wholesalers sell to all of their custom- likely heard the uproar surrounding several ers at a comparable price, it’s called the of the biggest indie labels (Matador, Merge, Robinson-Patman Act and it was written to Secretly Canadian, Vice, and a couple of protect small businesses from being eaten others) hooking up with the major label’s alive by their bigger competition. retailer of choice, Best Buy, for a well-below-cost sale. If you assume that the labels are playing by this rule (and I’m not so sure) then Now, I know what you’re thinking, what’s when Best Buy, Wal-Mart and Target sell wrong with a sale? for prices significantly lower than an indie store’s wholesale cost, who really loses? Everyone likes a sale. Well, almost everyone, apparently. It’s not as clear-cut as it might seem. To see who’s really paying for these low prices, You see, while far too many people have let’s define who’s winning and who’s left to spoken out about Wal-Mart and their tactic call the losers. of selling below cost and the effect it has had on local businesses and economies, The big box retailer is winning, because few have mentioned the impact the record they are getting you into their stores; and labels, along with Best Buy, Target and when was the last time you went in for a Wal-Mart are having on your local empo- CD and only bought a CD? Not very, ac- rium of all things musical, the corner record cording to those who speak out of turn, the store. word is that 70-plus percent of sales that include a “below cost” item are profitable, If you believe the LA Times, independent meaning they make enough on the candy music retailing is over; LA’s Aron’s is going bars and refrigerators you buy to cover and Rhino is gone, AbCD in Brooklyn is their losses (real or imagined) on the CD. gone, Cactus in Houston is going, and light-switches are being flipped, for the last The major labels are winning because, not time, coast to coast. only do they have a great big news-worthy story about how their new release sold big While there are still numerous strong indie units on it’s first week, but since this is a stores throughout the country (go check bought and paid for program there is less out Waterloo, here in Austin, if you doubt of the real “music outside the mainstream” me) those remaining are fighting a struggle in the bins to distract customers from major of epic proportions. budget priority releases. The short version is, years ago the big So, who’s left? Well, certainly the indie boxes realized that music consumers were retailers who are paying more and selling good people to sell other shit to, so they less. But also the artists who usually get sold them CDs at a loss to bring them in. the bill for all of this “promotion”, and Then some asshole at a (major) label decid- most importantly, the biggest loser is the ed to give the super store a pile of cash to consumer, who in the short term may be pick their record as that week’s loss leader, getting a great deal on Cat Power, but which essentially made it no longer a loss further out is also getting less choice. Less leader, and a new paradigm was born. choice of where to shop and less choice of what to buy, and that is a very high price to When this practice started it caused many pay for something that is supposed to be regional independents to close shop; flash on “sale”. forward, and most of the remaining indies 61

(Jax prints ad here) money generated from the sale of your music for the next three years. This upset me, so I did something about it. I started TuneCore.

With TuneCore, for the ﬁrst time in the history of the music industry artists can get their music into the places where people buy music - places like iTunes, Rhapsody, Napster, Yahoo!,Virgin Digital, eMusic and many more - without having to give up any rights, getting 100% of the revenue generated from the sale of their music, with no contract in a non-exclusive arrangement that can be eneded whenever they like. It sounds like a simple idea, but honestly it Get Your Music on iTunes has never been done before. for Really Cheap! TuneCore will get ANY band or artist’s music into all of the on-line digital stores. The By Jeff Price artist’s Album, EP or single will appear in About 15 years after starting spinART iTunes etc., along with their album art, band Records it occurred to me that the time had name, album title and other information. come to change the music industry. I mean Anyone can buy their music, see the album honestly change it. art, listen to 30 second samples just like any other release on any of the services. In the old music industry model, artists would record music. In order to get it into Once someone buys a song or album places where people could buy it – i.e. the artist is paid 100% of the money that record stores - they would have to do a iTunes and the other digital services pay deal with a record label. The record label for the sale of their song(s) and/or album(s). would get rights to the artist’s music and The amount iTunes etc., pays is the exact take a percentage of the money each time same amount of money any other indie art- the music sold. In return, the label would ist/record label gets paid. market and promote the artist, loan the artist money and get the artists music into Actually, that’s not totally accurate. The places where people could buy it. artist actually gets paid more as TuneCore takes none of the money earned from the About six years ago new companies ap- sale of the music. peared called “aggregators”. Aggregators are companies that get artist’s music into Labels and aggregators pay out their all the digital on-line places people buy money in “royalty periods” - for example, music ( i.e. iTunes, Napster, Rhapsody etc). every three to six months. However, aggregators are not labels. The only thing an aggregator does is provide With TuneCore, artists get their money access to the on-line digital places where whenever they want - they just log into their people buy music. Despite this, aggreg- TuneCore account and transfer it out via taors demanded the same sorts of rights direct deposit, PayPal or paper check. labels demanded- exclusive rights to the music and between 9% - 30% of the mon- I tried to keep the costs for TuneCore ey generated from the sale of the music. inexpensive. I honestly wanted all artists to be able to afford it. Inexpensive means This is ridiculous, as aggregators did everyone can afford distribution, and that NOTHING to cause these sales. It’s like means it’s fair. That’s the way the new going into Fed Ex to send your album to music industry is going to have to be if it iTunes and Fed Ex says the cost for deliver- wants to survive: fair. ing the package will be 9% - 30% of the www.tunecore.com 64 65 Photo by Michael Cote “OFF THE WOOKIE” ICE CREAM MAN’S SXSW SURVIVAL GUIDE (a.k.a. What to do when you start selling yourself out)

SXSW has become a harrowing experience Region Flavor for just about everyone—industry-stiffs, N Lemon Ice adventure-seeking out-of-towners, and NW Coffee resentful locals alike. Many Austinites now North Loop Cherry seek asylum from the conference, taking Hyde Park Pralines & Cream advantage of the peculiar quiet left behind NE Rocky Road by the 50,000 college kids who’ve dashed Downtown Neopolitan off to South Padre Island and left their E Rainbow Sorbet favorite hang-outs relatively empty. But S Cookies & Cream then comes the influx of SXSWers in their Zilker Mint Chocolate Chip lanyards and designer jeans to take away the city in their own disillusioning way. TACO BARS Ice Cream Man senses this tension and Whether your coming in from the East brings, along with the ice cream, this Coast or the greater Southwest area, you’ll Survival Guide as appeasement. We hope want to try some “real” Mexican food while this miscellany of non-SXSW activities and you’re in town, even if that can mean a lot events will help keep the peace around of different things down here. We’re featur- here. When you’ve reached your music ing a few of our favorites, but want to be saturation point (and you will find yourself clear that this is by no means a representa- unable to take any more), nothing will do tive list. You’ll serve yourself well by finding you better than a solid dose of genuine a taco truck in an East Side parking lot. Austin culture. Let the Ice Cream Man’s Just make sure to brush up on your Span- Survival Guide be your key to eats, drinks, ish animal parts (or reconcile yourself to fun, and…some of the other off the wookie adventure). stuff this city has to offer. —Jeremy Dean

Each Survival Guide entry is assigned a Mi Madre’s number and an ice cream ﬂavor that cor- Region: NE respond to the SXSW Survival Guide Map. 2201 Manor Road Memorize the Ice Cream Man’s Austin 512.480.8441 scheme and maybe some of the magic will & rub off. El Chilito Region: NE 2219 Manor Road 512.382.3797 66 adjoining patio. The blankets on each chair make it feel a bit less like you’re eating in a parking lot. —Aaron Zacks

Taqueria Los Altos Region: NE 3301 N. I-35 512.236.1219 A short drive north on the I-35 access road will lead you to Taqueria Los Altos (just passed the 32nd Street cross-over). Though terms like “authentic” become less meaningful among the spectrum of Mexican and Tex-Mex options available in the Austin area, this spot is more on the traditional side than others. The juke box features a selection of contemporary Tejano artists and the T.V. is regularly tuned to Univision. (But you can also just watch the traffic on 35 fly by.) For those dubi- ous of authenticity, note the real Mexican blankets under plastic on all tables. Most importantly, though, you’ll find traditional taco fare on the menu: barbacoa, tripas (intestines), lengua (tongue), sesos (brains), pollo (chicken), aguacate (avocado) and this writer’s favorite, al pastor (“country” A few blocks east of I-35 on Manor you’ll style pork). Choose corn or flour tortillas. find the dueling taco bars: Mi Madre’s and Breakfast tacos and migas are available El Chilito. The reverent Tex-Mex connois- 7-11 AM. Try a few tacos with some tacos seur will give props to the first, a long- with agua horchata (rice water). Or go for standing, family-owned and operated tradi- the real deal and have some menudo. tion. I’d like to know a breakfast and lunch —Jeremy Dean spot with staff as naturally personable and efficient as Mi Madre’s. Something about Maria’s Taco Xpress the place makes you feel welcome—it Region: S just may be the migas…or the enormous 2529 South Lamar Blvd. breakfast burritos…or the red sauce on the 512.444.0261 enchiladas. There’s a full interior-style menu www.tacoxpress.com to choose from after breakfast. Scarf down inside or out on the cozy patio out back. Mi Hours: Madre’s casual hours (Mon-Sat, 6am-2pm) MON 7:00 am - 3:00 pm are the only reasonable argument for start- TUE - FRI 7:00 am - 9:00 pm ing your taco duel at El Chilito (little brother SAT 8:00 am - 9:00 pm of the uppity dinner spot closer to I-35 on SUN 9:00 am - 2:00 pm Manor, El Chile). This colorful taqueria has just recently moved into the challenge Mi This taqueria might be worth a visit just for Madre’s stronghold on the neighborhood. its place in the tradition of Austin weird- Its hours (8am-9pm everyday), burger- ness evidenced in the décor of its façade. stand ambience, and freshly-prepared But the tacos are pretty darn good too at tacos and burritos assure its success. Grab this South Lamar landmark, which has a Charlie’s Special (egg, chorizo, potato, definite neighborhood vibe. An afternoon tomato, onion, and Serrano), migas, and a in Austin could not be better spent than cappuccino, or the Cochinita Pibil (Yucutan sipping a frozen margarita and enjoying style braised pork with orange and achiote) some tacos al pastor in the patio area out and a Mexican Coke, and head to the back. As a vegetarian option, the “verde” 67 taco is excellent as well: onion, peppers, How can you resist a place that adver- mushrooms, beans and egg plant! This tises in classic neon, “Free Smells” and place is definitely worth the trek up the hill “Extremely Fast Delivery”? Really, tell me. into South Austin, even if there’s not a lot Jimmy John’s bakes their own bread on around to make an afternoon of it. Maria site (hence the olfactory claim to fame) and “The Taco Queen” will likely have music in they offer a range of pared-down, stream- the afternoons during SXSW all week long lined, European style sandwiches (the Slim and I can attest that there have been some line) for cheaper than any mainstream fast great day-shows here in the past. Maria’s food restaurant. And without the deep often seem to manage to round up as- fried guilt! Regular American sandwiches sorted members of bands, sometimes play- over-stuffed with fresh veggies and meats ing together. Members of Calexico and Be are available as well, of course. This Austin Good Tanyas have rocked the small outside chain has several locations around town stage in recent years. and are indeed “Extremely Fast!” whether —Jeremy Dean in-store or for delivery. If you need more convincing, they’re one of the only places Austin’s Tamale House that will be open after the SXSW action. Region: NE Until 3 AM! 5003 Airport Blvd —Jeremy Dean 512.453.9842 Kismet Café 99 cent breakfast tacos! $1.07 per taco Region: Campus when you include tax! Okay okay, perhaps 411 W. 24th the tacos aren’t as delectable as the ones 512.236.1811 at Mi Madre’s, the atmosphere not as calm, the seating not as abundant, but goddamn Hours: Daily, 11am-8pm your delicate palate and sensitivity to ambiance! $1.07 per taco! So, you just checked out the free Ice —Chris Chung Cream Man show at Hole in the Wall and you’re feeling a might bit peckish in that peculiarly Mediterranean way. You want falafel, a gyro, or a Greek salad with chicken—you want to make your way down the street to Kismet Café. You won’t get a better lunch for the price and you can give yourself a tour of UT campus across the street as you chow down on Kismet’s convenient portables. —Jim Brown

Red River Café Region: Campus 2912 Medical Arts 512.472.0385

RANDOM RESTAURANTS Hours: Daily 7am-4pm Jimmy John’s Gourmet Sandwiches Don’t wait in line at Kerbey Lane or IHOP Region: Campus after a hard night of rockin’ out. Jump the 601 W. MLK queue at Red River Café, an inexpensive, 512.478.3111 dog-friendly, and oddly-placed breakfast 3203 Red River and lunch spot—note that it’s not actu- 512.499.0100 ally on Red River. The café serves a wide Region: Downtown selection dishes running the gamut from 516 Congress traditional to absurd. They’ll bring you your 512.457.4900 migas and breakfast tacos, your pancakes Hours: MON-SUN 11am-3am and French toast—but, if you ask for it, they’ll make the pancakes into an egg & 68 bacon-or-sausage sandwich and ﬁll your toast with mango. The “Low Caloried Fruit Plate,” which includes a hamburger patty, cottage cheese, and fresh fruit, is most certainly off the wookie. If the service leaves something to be desired, just be thankful you’re not still in line at another “great spot” with a bunch of SXSW faux-hipsters. —Jim Brown

Texas Chili Parlor (An Austin Institution Since 1976) Region: Downton 1409 Lavaca Street 512.472.2828 www.cactushill.com/TCP Hours: Open every day from 11am to 2am The sign inside the door reads, “No Lone Star, No Checks, No Draft, No Fries, No Foofoo Drinks, No Talking to Imaginary People.” Who said Texans weren’t friendly or inclined to follow mysticism? It’s all fun and games until you notice another sign that asks, “Don’t you feel more like you do now than when you came?” My shrink doesn’t let me think about things like that. Metaphysical questions aside, the Texas Don’t let it disconcert you that “Beer” Chili Parlor serves large portions of ﬁve comes before “Pizza” on the front win- types of chili (Black Bean and Elgin Sau- dows. The mixture Texas beers (micro and sage, Five-Bean Vegetable, Habanero and macro) on tap merely supplement The Pinto Bean, Chili Potato, and traditional Parlor’s indie/punk pies. Both crust (my Lone Star Chili). You can choose from a vote for best in the city) and sauce are full array of salads, nachos, quesadillas, made in-house from original recipes. The enchiladas, and burgers. Oh, and they’ll fresh toppings are nothing to sneeze at put chili on most everything on the menu. either…please don’t sneeze on them. Try Take note of the spicy-scale: “X” for the adding tomatoes to the mozzarella, ricotta, faint-of-heart, “XX” for its faithful regulars, and garlic on the white pizza. The Parlor is “XXX” for the very daring patrons (they may a hole-in-the-wall sort of place and inside ask you to sign a release form). If not for seating is a bit limited, though in March the chili, you might go for the star appeal: you’ll probably want to sit out back on the Hard Promises (1991), a “pleasant romantic patio anyway. Bands set up right inside the comedy with good acting” featuring Sissy door on a weekly basis and tear this dark Spacek was ﬁlmed here on-location. little pizza joint a new one. There’s a reason —Amanda Moulder this place won the Austin Chronicle’s “Best Nod to 1977” Award in 2001. Hey, yuppies: PIZZA STAY THE FUCK AWAY! —Amanda Moulder The Parlor Region: North Loop 100 E North Loop Blvd Ste B 512.454.8965 Hours: MON-FRI 5pm-Mid SAT 5pm-1am

69 Home Slice Pizza Kerbey Lane Café Region: S Region: NW 1415 South Congress Avenue 3704 Kerbey Lane 512.444.PIES 512.451.1436 www.homeslicepizza.com Region: Campus 2606 Guadalupe Restaurant Hours: 512.477.5717 MON 11:30 - 11 www.kerbeylanecafe.com TUES CLOSED WED 11:30 - 11 Magnolia THURS 11:30 - 11 Region: W FRI 11:30 - midnight 2304 Lake Austin Blvd SAT 11:30 - midnight 512.478.8645 SUN noon - 10pm Magnolia Cafe South Slice Window Hours: Region: S MON, WED, THURS 11:30-7 and 9:30- 1920 South Congress 11pm 512.445.0000 FRI, SAT 11:30am-7 and 9:30-3am—yes, this is where you’ll eat after being kicked Austin diners don’t come in diner cars, a out of the Continental Club. deeply unfortunate circumstance that you might be able to forget if you visit Star Home Slice took over the South Congress Seeds Cafe, located at 32nd and I-35, in pizza scene immediately when it opened in the Days Inn parking lot. This diner has November. Owners and operators Joseph been a classic Austin eating establish- and Jen Strickland pride themselves on ment for longer than anyone remembers, having brought a bit of the big city to though older rockers complain that it’s not Austin in the shape of their hand-tossed, as fucked up as it used to be. You ought thin crust, New-York-style pies—they’ll to consider reviving old lore by worship- even instruct you on how to fold your ping at the Star Seeds alter in the wee slice. Home Slice’s “Tried & True” specials hours, developing a massive crush on one include the Eggplant pie, the White clam of the gorgeous waiters, and eating your pizza (chopped clams, olive oil, garlic and pancakes and huevos rancheros to the parmesan), and a exquisitely simple Mar- kind of tunes that music snots always ap- gherita. Besides pies, Home Slice serves preciate. While Star Seeds owners seem a selection of salads (“Lemme have one to be making an effort to gentrify the place, ’u them pear gorgonzola salads, pronto!”), tearing down the old magazine collages calzones, and sub sandwiches. Everything above the bar, adding fancy signage to is proudly served on understated pizza the front—and causing me considerable trays in a deep, dimly-lit room red room distress over the past year—not to fear. As reeking of authenticity. Home Slice can my boyfriend lovingly assured me this very liquor you up on everything from tapped morning, “don’t worry, it’s still a shithole.” Texas microbrews to canned PBR. Except And he’s right: the vinyl booths are crack- for during the dinner rush, slices are served ing, the tables are sticky, and the puny out a Congress Avenue window, open late Days Inn pool provides a view meant to on the weekends to service the sloppy- inspire a drunken ruckus. Don’t come here drunks. for the food either, though it ain’t bad. Just —Aaron Zacks remember: always switch out the home fries for the hashbrowns, the breakfast 24 HOUR DINERS tacos are as big as your head, and the veg- gie quesadillas (avocado & tomato) are truly Star Seeds Cafe delicious. Now, Kerbey Lane Cafe certainly Region: NE has more consistently awesome food. But 32nd and I-35 (in the Days Inn parking lot) consider carefully which location is right for 512.478.7107 you. 3704 Kerbey Lane is the original, and definitely the nicest looking, but the tables are aggravatingly small. 2606 Guadalupe might just be overflowing with 18 year- 70 olds acting like they’ve never been in a Artz Rib House is one of the first places I restaurant before. 2700 South Lamar is the went after moving to Austin. Whenever I one I’d recommend—for one thing, it has think about BBQ, I think about this place. booths. But any way you shake it, Kerbey Their Country Style Ribs changed my Lane will deliver fabulous pancakes (classic perspective on the cuisine. Now, don’t walk buttermilk or their flavors of the day). Their in here expecting your ribs slathered in French toast will satisfy all kinds of inner sauce. Artz provides a respectable amount cravings, and the Paris, Texas platter with of its own BBQ sauce with generous plates its French toast AND migas will be as good of fine quality meats. One of the greatest as any band you’ll see in town. Ordering things about this place is the live music, the nachos with Kerbey Queso as an appe- which happens many days and nights a tizer (for your pancakes) also never hurt an- week. Bluegrass and country bands play all ybody. Magnolia is another classic choice day on Sunday, making it extremely difficult for Austinites: 2304 Lake Austin Blvd. has to leave this friendly, South Austin oasis. adorable tables covered in cow/dinosaur/ —Aaron Zacks alien themes; the 1920 South Congress version is larger and gets down to business Ruby’s BBQ better. The enchiladas are nothing special, Region: Campus but the Magnolia Mud (black bean tortilla 29th and Guadelupe chip dip) rivals Kerbey Queso. That’s all 512.477.1651 well and good, you say, but where do I www.rubysbbq.com get a milkshake around here? You’re right to ask, my friend. Katz’s Deli (618 West Not the cheapest, but centrally located, 6th Street) may have relatively expensive Ruby’s is the place to get some meat after pseduo-New York Jew food instead of the free Ice Cream Man show at Hole in the tacos and greasy sausage links, but they’re Wall. Ruby’s is surprisingly good consider- the only 24-hour place in town where you ing its proximity to campus. Their menu can get any kind of milkshake, for Christ’s offers plates of Cajun Spiced Beef Ribs, St. sake. It’s well worth the price even for Louis Style Pork Ribs (allow 30 minutes for natives of milkshake-friendly cities, and it both), Smoked Glazed Ham, and Smoked goes great with potato pancakes. Turkey Breast. Meat is also served in —Liz Jones sandwiches and by the pound. Ruby’s also serves a series of Cajun dishes: gumbo, BBQ jambalaya, crawfish etoufée, vegetarian jambalaya, and Griff’s Pile (black beans & rice with cheddar cheese & chives). Ruby’s clearly identifies a decent number of vegetarian options. The Andrew Bell’s Collard Greens are hot but the homemade sweet potato pie and buckle and crisps will cool ’em right down. —Aaron Zacks

Black’s BBQ 215 N. Main St. Lockhart, TX 78644 512.398.2712 www.blacksbbq.com If you’re up for a drive, check out Black’s BBQ about 30 miles away in Lockhart, TX, Artz Rib House the town that stood in fortting for Blaine, MI Region: South Lamar in Christopher Guest’s Waiting for Guffman. 2330 South Lamar See if you can spot the big barrel at the city 512.442.8283 hall building in the center of town. www.artzribhouse.com —Aaron Zacks

71 MUSIC STORES Waterloo Records Region: W 600 N Lamar Blvd #A 512.474.2900 A Waterloo top ten list: 10. It’s right next door to Amy’s Ice Cream. 9. Plenty of listening stations with big headphones. 8. You can skip wearing the big headphones and try out new music in the walk-in listening booths. 7. Right when you walk in there’s an extensive new music wall with new releases. 6. A plentiful selection of vinyl. 5. They have all sorts of things besides music – books, videos, t-shirts, posters, MUSEUMS gift items, etc... 4. Great in-stores here (especially during sxsw week), which often Harry Ransom Humanities Research Center include free beer. 3. People that work at Region: Campus Waterloo know their shit. 2. Great used 21st and Guadalupe music section. 1. It’s rare that they don’t 512.471.8944 have what you want. The reading room and galleries are entirely —Jodi Relyea free and open to the public. Gallery Hours: End of an Ear 10:00-5:00 Tuesday, Wednesday and Friday Region: S 10:00-7:00 Thursday 2209 S. 1st Noon-5:00 Saturday and Sunday 512.462.6008 Reading/Viewing Room Hours: 9:00-5:00 Monday-Friday 9:00-12:00 Saturday HRC closed entirely on March 11 and 18, 2006 Brit-pop? Maybe. But there’s no way you’re too cool for this place. The Harry Ransom Humanities Research Center (HRC) is a library/museum of modern art and culture that proves just what oil money can buy: over 36 million literary manuscripts, 1 million rare books, including the Gutenburg Bible (c. 1455), 5 million photographs, over 100,000 works of art, and an impressive collection of music materials, as well as a This little shop is fairly new to Austin, but surprising hodge-podge of other artifacts— has become a local favorite. They’ll be all in fortified underground stacks under the hosting a slew of in-stores for SXSW and SW corner of UT campus. Scholars visit the it’s worth making the trip down South Ransom Center from all over the world to 1st. While they certainly can’t compete study some of 20th century’s greatest writ- with the stock of Waterloo or larger stores, ers. Take the ‘Dillo over and have a look at they specialize in the under-underground, Jack Kerouac’s On the Road notebook and and you’re bound to find some surprises. the first three drafts of Don DeLillo’s Un- Mostly focused on indie-pop and rock, they derworld. Original page proofs of Joyce’s have some great selections in French pop, Ulysses are kept in a vault deep below the funk and jazz that aren’t picked by most building—no touchy. A good example of other places. the non-literary holdings is the collection of —Doug Freeman theatrical and industrial designer Norman 72 Bel Geddes. The HRC music collection specializes in modern French and 20th century American composers (including Anthony Burgess and Paul Bowles). Jazz fans might be interested in the papers of Ross Russell, founder of Dial Records. —Aaron Zacks Finding aids are online at http://www.hrc. utexas.edu/research/fa/ so you can decide what you want to look at before you go. Ex- pect it to take about 45 minutes for you to view items in the reading room—you’ll have to watch a video about handling materials and then wait for the kind staff to fetch your things from the stacks. Call one day in advance to view photographic materials. Oh, and…only yellow paper in the reading DIVES room, please… Donn’s Depot Piano Bar and Saloon You’ll also want to check out the two new Region: W exhibits in the first floor museum. “The 1600 W. 5th Street Image Wrought: Historical Photographic 512.478.0336 Approaches in the Digital Age” explores the www.donnsdepot.com retro movement in contemporary photography; the “Technologies of Writing” exhibit is If my grandma ever comes to visit Austin, a history of communication spanning from I’m going to take her dancing at Donn’s De- 4th millennium BC Sumerian cuneiform to pot. Not many places are cool enough for electronic texts. my grandma, but this one’s the real deal. The picture doesn’t do it justice. Something The Bob Bullock Texas State History about the rustic parking lot tells you the Museum property used to be on the very outskirts Region: Campus of town, out by the Mopac railway line. The 1800 N. Congress Avenue back of the place is actually made up of 512.936.4649 two train cars you can sit inside. Donn’s www.thestoryoftexas.com Depot is a haven for locals disturbed generally only on weekends by lousy, no-good, Hours: MON-SAT 9 am-6 pm college kids. The owner and piano player, Donn, and his Station Masters play weekly The Ransom Center is about as much to enthusiastic and familiar crowds. Go get “YEAH, humanity!” as a hipster can stand. yourself a piece of Old West Austin. From there, head down the hill, east on —Aaron Zacks MLK to The Bob Bullock Texas State His- tory Museum, where you’ll receive a char- Poodle Dog Lounge acteristically modest account of the making Region: NW of this great, rich, massive state. Make 6507 Burnet Rd sure to take in the humble large-screen 512.465.9468 film, Texas: the Big Picture, and The Star of Destiny, a special effects 4-D extravaganza Don’t bother asking the bartender if any- that’s sure to make you wonder how it all one’s every walked into the Poodle Dog could have gone wrong. You may want to Lounge expecting someone to clip their reserve tickets in advance. SXSW visitors poodle—unless you’re the kind of person have the special opportunity to view a makes a habit of asking good people traveling collection of artifacts recovered annoying questions. The Poodle Dog is a from the wreck of a British merchant slave classic beer (cheap) and pool joint (tables ship which sank in the Florida Keys in run on quarters) that’ll throw you right back 1700. “YEAH, humanity!” to the ’70s. Really get your retro on with 7 —Aaron Zacks or 8 cans of Pearl and a few games of pool 73 conscious of a mild fear of the three guys fans of Johnny Cash will find this a wel- at the next table. Just make sure you’ve come watering hole if you roll into town and got someone on the lookout heading there; find yourself thinking “my throat was dry/ I it’s easy to drive by this place at night. thought I’d stop and have myself a brew.” —Aaron Zacks The walls are covered in memorabilia, some very authentic looking and some of decidedly questionable provenance. The jukebox has a healthy and eclectic dose not only of Cash, but also of many of his in- fluences and companions including Merle, Waylon, and three generations of Hanks. Be sure to sample the wasabi peanuts and take a load of on the “mercy seat” church pew located next to the pool table. —Justin Tremel

Carousel Lounge Region: NE 1110 E. 52nd St. 512.452.6790 As if to play a cruel joke on the neighborhood alcoholics who need to stave off their delirium tremens before prime time television displays such absurdities as Will Showdown and Grace and The King of Queens, which Region: Campus might (keyword: might) be funny if you’re 2610 Guadalupe really, really, REALLY drunk but horrifying 512.472.2010 if you’re really sober, The Carousel Lounge houses a large, paranoia-inducing, pink The Showdown is close to my heart, a circus elephant similar to those menac- home-away-from-home if you will. The ing roseate quadrupeds often hallucinated redneck décor is eclectic but simple, the during the throws of alcohol withdrawal. beer plenty but not pretentious, and the Thank goodness the bar staff is friendly regulars garrulous but friendly. It’s a nice and the live rock-n’-roll is rocking and roll- little dose of realism surrounded by the ing. Otherwise, the stoners who replace vintage clothing store chains and tanning the alcoholics at night might lose their salons that define the UT campus. Whereas minds when passing the pink elephant on the Hole in the Wall is crowded and loud, the way to take a piss. the Showdown is laid back, spacious —Chris Chung and the kinda place you can have a good drunken conversation. The huge outdoor Mean-Eyed Cat patio in the back has plenty of room for the Region: W smoking crowd and the three pool tables 1621 W. Fifth St. circulate pretty quickly with varying de- 512.472.6326 grees of skill. And of course, let us not forget their famous Frito Pie and Spicy Nuts. It used to be a Cut-Rite Chainsaw retailer. The Showdown ain’t your high-class fare, It’s now a bar themed after the Man in although they did just replace the troughs Black. One of Austin’s funkier signature with urinals. The Showdown might actually clubs, few will be disappointed with this be getting a little too uppity for me. bar...the single drawback being that hard —Doug Freeman alcohol is not served. Major and Minor 74 STORES Cream Vintage Nau’s Enfield Drug Region: Campus Region: W 2532 Guadalupe St. 115 West Lynn Austin, Texas 78705 512.476.1221 512.474.8787 www.creamvintage.com Whether you’re in need of a hair clip or a real ice-cream soda (a scoop of ice cream in soda water with chocolate syrup on top), the mild time-warp that is Nau’s Enfield Drug is the place you want to go. Nau’s is entrenched in Clarksville, one of the city’s oldest neighborhoods, that landowner and Governer Elisha M. Pease once bequeathed to his emancipated slaves in hope they would stick around and serve as cheap labor. Just like Donn’s Depot, Nau’s emits a sense of its isolated and controversial past. Except for the fact that you now go by one of the city’s most A few years ago I moved to Austin to expensive restaurants to get to it… Either reopen The Hole in the Wall. While working way, Nau’s on West Lynn is an important on cleaning out years of grease and grime, Austin establishment in which the locals I met Rob Jasinski who owned Cream will graciously allow you to participate—so Vintage next door. long as you leave it as you found it. The affiliated Nau’s Pharmacy, near campus, at I never realized how handy it would be hav- 2406 San Gabriel, is a great place, but less ing a vintage clothing store next to work. interesting. When I had a long night at the bar and —Aaron Zacks slept in the office, all I had to do was walk next door to get a new shirt. He was even Toy Joy nice enough to order some vintage blank Region: Campus t-shirts which we made into beaten Hole in 2900 Guadalupe the Wall ones. 512.320.0090 There wasn’t any parking at the Hole and Walk through the door of Toy Joy, Austin’s Cream Vintage had a good sized lot behind most fantastic toy store, and you enter a the store where he let us park. At the weird and wonderful world of widgets and same time we were working on the Hole, gizmos, old favorites and new variations of Rob was building a stage out back that toys, toys, toys! Every inch of this store is would turn his parking lot into a makeshift full of *stuff* -- whirligigs dangling from the outdoor venue. The goal was to have local ceiling, pink plastic octopi hanging on a bands play there a few times a month. fuzzy purple tree, marbles and bouncy balls Once SXSW rolled around, he realized and stickers galore. We’re talking stimula- that Cream Vintage would be the perfect tion-overload at its best. Not to mention place to throw daily parties from Wednes- that while you’re wandering around, there’s day through Sunday. Now in their fourth better music playing than in any other year, these parties have become a staple toy store I’ve ever been to. Friendly staff for Austin locals and out-of-towners alike. provide free gift wrap, and some great This year we’ll be giving away ice cream wrapping paper choices (robots, monsters, and doing our thing along with The Cos- Edward Gorey prints, and more…). Allow tume Party and Woody West. You should yourself an hour or two to explore! stop by. You can even do some shopping —Jodi Relyea in between sets. —Ice Cream Man

75 Electric Ladyland/Lucy in Disgiuse away from the action, pretend you’re a Region: S local and people-watch for an hour or two. 1506 S. Congress Avenue Most of the places below offer free wireless 512.444.2002 internet. —Jeremy Dean Electric Ladyland/Lucy in Disguise, Austin’s well-loved costume shop, is literally off Mozart’s Coffee Roasters the Wookie. With tens of thousands of Region: W costumes in stock, you would think that a 3825 Lake Austin Blvd half crazed Star Wars fanatic with the major 512. 477.2900 ambition of dressing up like one of the bellicose, hirsute creatures for Halloween If you’re mobile while in town and are could find a Wookie outfit. But alas, no willing to pay a few extra cents for better Wookies there are here. Disappointment coffee, you can’t beat Mozart’s for the impels us to ask: Ah wu aaa? (According view. Located on Lake Austin with plenty to Ben Burtt, author of Star Wars Phrase of sitting room on the waterside decks, Book & Travel Guide, that’s Shriiwook, or this can be a refreshing spot when you Wookie-speak, for “Why”?) want to get out of the “city” for a few —Chris Chung hours. Just watch the “lake” flow by or admire the houses in the hills just south of Uncommon Objects town. Several restaurants are located in Region: S the same little scenic “strip” mall, includ- 1512 S. Congress Avenue ing the Chuy’s incarnation, Hula Hut. They 512.442.4000 roast their own beans at Mozart’s, so there are fewer places better for a high quality A menagerie of overpriced trash, Uncom- cup of joe. In fact, several other shops in mon Objects is the perfect place for well- town brew Mozart’s coffee. Lots of good to-do commodity fetishists (i.e., bobos) pastries and gelato here too. Yes, folks, it’s who spend their sunny Sunday afternoons a classic. But not too bougie (that’s short purchasing antiques and curiosities (i.e., for “bourgeois” which is fancy for “middle junk), which they display in their homes class”) for free and easy wireless. in order to fool their friends (and probably —Jeremy Dean themselves) into thinking they’re somehow in touch with a simpler, more rustic and Quack’s 43rd Street Bakery authentic past—a time when people sat on Region: Hyde Park rusty, uncomfortable metallic folding chairs 411 E 43rd St ($20), played with inflexible, paint-peeling 512.453.3399 rubber Flipper dolls ($10), or got their junk fix from laudanum stored in dark mauve This coffee shop and bakery has been apothecary bottles ($20). Nostalgia comes around a while, even if it has moved loca- in many forms. Besides from the bobos, tions through the years. Though Quack’s the financially challenged will also find has opened a quieter branch on East 38th priceless entertainment in scoffing at the and ½, the 43rd street Quack’s is a Hyde prices (and perhaps wishing they could Park landmark, located on a block with a afford them). several good dining options, as well as a —Chris Chung Freshfields for grocery needs. Local artists display work on the wall and the youthful COFFEE SHOPS workers keep the tunes hip. Few places in town are better for people watching on a Second only to Paris for its café culture nice day, with high schoolers busting free (albeit a distant second), Austin has a wide styling rhymes or wheelies on the sidewalk variety of coffee shops to choose from, so and hippies playing chess and drinking don’t venture out into the streets of the city beer from brown bags around the corner. without this guide to help you choose the But the best thing about Quack’s 43rd coolest (or hottest) spot for your java fix. Street Bakery is the fresh-basked goods, Trust me—you’ll need the caffeine kick for of which there is a full array. Definitely try the grueling fun of a SXSW week. But these the salty oat cookie, even if it sounds like a hangouts can also be a good place to get strange combination. Or, just stick around 76 till closing time (1 AM every night) and en- reminder are their “Signature Coffees,” joy the fresh-baked smells as they kick you which are indeed unique and, if a bit pricey, out. Wireless is free, but involves signing quite yummy. But Austin Java is not a bad up and getting a password. place to grab a bite with lots of interesting —Jeremy Dean dishes for a reasonable, though not super cheap prices. A soup or salad comes with the sandwich dishes. And a full range of beers and wines are served here as well, in case you’re with a friend of a different beverage persuasion or decide you want a different kind of kick yourself. Brunch here is popular for a reason. Open till 11 on weekdays, midnight on Fridays and Saturdays. There’s also another location further South along the Barton Springs row of restaurants, still “Funky, Yet Refined.” Free wireless. —Jeremy Dean

Jo’s Hot Coffee and Good Food Region: S Clementine Coffee Bar 1300 S Congress Ave, Region: NE 512.444.3800 2200 Manor Road 512.472.9900 There are few places better to pass from afternoon to evening on a long SXSW day The verdict is not in on this new East Side than Jo’s, nicely located to head downtown coffee shop—they’ve only been open since in a hop and skip, especially if you’re stay- January—but located as it is on Manor just ing at the Austin Motel or San Jose (with off 35, Clementine certainly has positioned which this coffee bar shares a parking lot). itself to enter the Austin coffee shop Simultaneously cute and hip, seating at competition. This strip on Manor, with both Jo’s is all out of doors, though partially cov- Mi Madre’s and East Side Café, has a lot ered, making it an ideal place to set a while going for it. Clementine’s ultra-modern dé- and people-watch as South Congress gets cor beckons SXSW hipsters. The owner’s dressed up for the evening. And you can used to manage Halcyon, the downtown choose your poison with both some excel- coffee shop, so they know something lent hot and cold coffee drinks and a wide about making coffee cool. Texas Micro- selection of bottled beer (just cold). Good brews and wine on the menu doesn’t hurt spot for a snack too, with a tasty vegetar- either, but it’s the fancy gilled cheese and ian BBQ and other neat sandwiches. As other “paninis” that might make this a they often have music during the year on choice spot for a caffeine kick and a snack. Sundays, it’s likely Jo’s will have stuff going Pastries are from Russell’s and beans from on during the SXSW week as well. But, Little City. Free wireless. most importantly, Amy’s Ice Cream is just —Jeremy Dean across the street, if you haven’t got your ﬁll of sweet delight from our own distributor! Austin Java Café & Bar They’re not open late, so catch them while Region: W the sun is up. 1206 Parkway —Jeremy Dean 512.476.1829 Located on Lamar at 12th, Austin Java is another good place to grab a cup before heading downtown to see the music. Though the menu and venue have expand- ed so this coffee shop could get confused with a full restaurant, they do roast their own beans here lest we forget. Another 77 Auditorium Shores Region: S

Zilker Park & Barton Springs Region: Zilker You don’t have to get too far off the wookie to realize that Austin is a green-friendly city. Auditorium Shores can be found just south of downtown at South First and River- Photo by Ryan Gallagher side. Right on the river, Auditorium Shores OUTDOORS provides a great place to throw a disc, fly a kite, kick a ball around, find some shade, Lions Municipal Golf Course or start a run the Hike and Bike Trail. Take Region: W a picture next to the Stevie Ray Vaughan 2901 Enfield Road statue with the Austin skyline as backdrop. 512.477.6963 Bring your dog for a dip in the river. Follow the path to a few different canoe rental lo- If you really want to get away from the 6th cations, one south towards Barton Springs St. madness, rent a set of clubs for $10 (Howard and Dorothy Barnett, 512-478- and have a go ’round Lions Municipal Golf 3852), the other on the north side of the Course. Referred to by locals simply as river between Lamar and Mopac. “Muni” since becoming public in 1934, the classic layout features narrow fairways For Austin’s largest green space, head and small greens that have played host to down Barton Springs Road away from some of the game’s greatest, including Ben downtown – if you can make it past the Hogan, Byron Nelson, and Tom Kite and delicious eateries along the way such as Ben Crenshaw, who play junior golf here. Chuy’s and Shady Grove, you’ll find Zilker The course overlooks Lake Austin and is Park. Zilker provides the same outdoor home to some of the grandest oak trees opportunities as Auditorium Shores, a great around. 18-hole rates are $16.50 on the view of downtown, and a few extras just for weekdays and $19.00 on the weekends. you. Did somebody say Zilker Botanical Add $11 for a cart. Garden (2220 Barton Springs Rd., 512-477- —Aaron Zacks 8672), featuring dinosaur tracks, the Bridge to Walk over the Moon (universal beauty The Hike and Bike Trail revealed!), and, well, flowers? Maybe you Region: Downtown were thinking of the Umlauf Sculpture Garden (605 Robert E. Lee Rd.), an outdoor You can attribute it to Lance Armstrong museum of sorts featuring over 130 sculp- – Austin’s favorite adopted son – or you tures, drawings, and paintings? Or per- can blame the tech boom of a few years haps you were looking for a place to take ago, but folks in Austin like to stay fit. Pay (some of) your clothes off and get wet? On a visit to the Town Lake Hike and Bike Trail the south side of Zilker Park (2101 Barton at just about any time of day and you will Springs Rd.), Barton Springs offers the see swarms of hikers, bikers, walkers, and coldest swimming hole experience you’re stroller-pushers. The trail is a great way likely to find this side of the Mason-Dixon to see Town Lake (not a lake, but just a line – we’re talking 68 degrees year round, dammed section of the Colorado River). If people. Spend an afternoon in this natural you want to get in a jog or you just need a spring for only $3. post-BBQ walk, the Hike and Bike trail will serve you right. At points on your walk, it’ll Zilker Park and Auditorium Shores offer be so quiet you’ll have a hard time believ- green spaces close to downtown. The first ing that you’re downtown. Kick off your two are within walking distance, and Pease day with a jog or a walk…then head out for is a short drive. Zilker offers the most breakfast. opportunities for a variety of interests and —Jim Brown activities, but each location will help you escape the Texas heat for a while. —Matt King 78 The Greenbelt If your idea of rugged includes less picture- taking and more sweat, head down to the Austin greenbelt for 7.9 miles of biking, hiking, and running trails. The trail varies in quality but is less even and more rocky than the trail surrounding Town Lake. The greenbelt has several access points including Zilker Park, but the recommended entries can be found on Capitol of Texas Highway / Loop 360 just east of Mopac and also on the Mopac access road just south of Capitol of Texas Highway / Loop 360. The trail follows Barton Creek and has numerous swimming opportunities. Pease Park Disc Golf Course Nothing’s official here, folks, so jump in Region: W where you see fit. Although you’re not the 1100 Kingsburgh St. only one who knows about the greenbelt, it West side of Lamar between 15th & 29th does tend to be more quiet and secluded Parking along Parkway St. than parks such as Zilker. The trails and www.centxdglove.com/pease water are well shaded and mostly well dis- tanced from roads and other signs of life. This is no beginners’ disc golf course. If it’s —Matt King windy, anyone will have a tough day wres- tling their way through oaks groves and Hippie Hollow navigating Shoal Creek. Pease’s 21 Holes Comanche Trail, near Lake Travis are moved regularly into some questionable positions. Sometimes one basket is If your idea of rugged is not so much perched right at the creek edge. Moody’s “rugged” as “naked,” visit Hippie Hollow, Disc Golf Pro Shop sells all kinds of discs Austin’s very own clothing optional park. at the first tee. Located at 7000 Comanche Trail near Lake —Aaron Zacks Travis, Hippie Hollow provides one of the few places if not only place in Texas where Mount Bonnell you can be naked in public without getting Region: W shot. To get there, follow the sound of hippies singing, or take 2222 west (from Looking for a nature escape on (slightly) Mopac or Capitol of Texas Highway / Loop more rugged terrain? Mount Bonnell of- 360) to 620, 620 south to Comanche Trail. fers some mild hiking opportunities and Follow the signs. Although it might be le- some of the best views in Austin. “Hiking” gal, you are not encouraged to run, bike, or includes a climb up a series of steps and hike at Hippie Hollow out of consideration then some paths once you reach the top. for others. Keep it clean, people, and keep The view from the top includes the Colo- your wookie to yourself. rado River, the Austin 360 bridge, radio —Matt King towers, and some of the more expensive houses that Austin has to offer. Mount Austin State Cemetary Bonnell is on the edge of the hill country Region: North Loop and provides an excellent place to take 200 W. 51st St. in the sunset. Bring a camera, bring a 512.452.0381 date – hell, bring a candlelight dinner for two. You won’t be the first. Get to Mount Hed: Lost World OR Lost in Time Bonnell (3800 Mt. Bonnell Rd.) by taking Dek: In Austin’s strangest cemetery, the Mopac to 35th street, which you can take ground is stuffed with pitiful mentally ill west to Mt. Bonnell Rd. Look for the signs souls who were rejected by their uncaring for Mount Bonnell. nineteenth century families. —Matt King

79 The rectangle slopes up and down a couple of small hills within the confines of four city streets in Hyde Park. From a distance, in a car and when you are new to the city, it reads like another intramural field for U.T. (there are a few of them in the vicin- ity). It couldn’t be a park—although there are a couple of trees, they are few and far between, making the rectangle look like an agricultural installation, a field for grazing cattle, where trees are planted here and there to shelter the herd. No, an Austin park would have more trees. On the first occasion when you’re right up against the flank of the strange parallelo- gram, driving on North Loop Boulevard or cemetery, or whether there are more un- on 51st Street, you could look in through derneath the trees. From what you can see, the chicken wire fence and see that the there’s no rhyme or reason to the layout. At earth is covered with a carpet of scorched the southeastern end, two giant condos are grass. Somebody cares about this grass going up immediately outside the fence, enough to cut it to a severe length, buzz- covered in Tyvek wrapping. And the lights cut against the ground. But this same of the intramural fields are now right across caretaker has given up on the idea of the street. When you turn to the Internet to getting the grass, which is planted in full see if anybody else has wondered about sun, enough water to stay green. Unlike the the place like you have, you find a May 27, lawns in the surrounding neighborhood, 2005 Austin Chronicle article, by Cheryl this expanse is brown and crunchy, like Smith, about the Austin State Hospital those Chinese noodles you put on your cemetery. It turns out there are 3,000 bod- casserole. ies buried in that 11-acre space. Because families in the last century (and some in After a moment of confusion, with your ours) were ashamed of their mental patient face turned to the car window, your realize relatives, and didn’t want to devote cash that one of the stumpy stones in the tan ex- for a proper burial, most people in the panse has the shape of a cross. Once this cemetery don’t have headstones. One cor- fixes in your brain, you see that the stones, ner of the place has body parts in it, from which are scattered sometimes as much as when the surgical wing of the hospital did a hundred feet apart, studding the ground amputations and didn’t have an incinerator. at seemingly total intervals, are grave- (Have fun imagining pieces of lobotomized stones, totally unadorned and stark. It’s not brain, swimming underneath that brown at all a normal cemetery, where planners carpet.) The founder of the city of Dallas, cluster graves together, leaving room for an alcoholic at his death, is interred there. those to come. And the gate with the fancy ironwork was contributed recently, by a former substance The east and west sides of the cemetery abuse patient at the asylum. are bounded by the backs of houses, so you have to walk down a street to get to So, when you’re traipsing around North the open south side, on West 51st Street. Loop this week, buying salt and pepper It’s a shorter length of fence, and the shakers at the Living Room or polemics at gate to the cemetery is located there. The Monkeywrench Books, don’t forget to look gate has little white stars worked into its in on the A.S.H. Cemetery and say hi to the black iron, and worked letters across the unfortunates buried there. If you feel like it, arch of the entrance: “A.S.H. Cemetery.” you could even buy a slice of Parlor pizza A bleached dirt road reaches from the or a forty from the Food Store and take it entrance and down into the grounds, dis- over as a belated tribute. appearing behind a rise of land. From this —Rebecca Onion side, you can try to ascertain whether there are more graves in certain quadrants of the 80 Belaire Photo By Eric Katerman The Best Local Live: Bands to Watch and Bands to See By Doug Freeman with Kate Guillemette and KVRX staff Austin claims to be “The Live Music Capital eighties-dance-floor style, but their witty of the World.” While perhaps a bit grandi- and clever lyrics have also justified the nu- ose, there’s good reason for it. Although merous comparisons with The Smiths and SXSW is primarily an opportunity for bands The Cure. “Raised by Wolves” and “The around the world to showcase their talent, Start of Something” are masterful pop-rock it’s also a platform for Austin to show off its tunes – upbeat, biting and catchy-as-hell, amazing local scene. So here’s a roundup and never fail to get even the most staid of the best local acts. emo-kids moving. But while Voxtrot may be plowing the same emotional and intel- There are several Austin bands that may ligent fields as The Smiths, their crop is an be set to follow in footsteps and break out altogether more upbeat 60’s flavored pop on the national scene like Okkervil River produce. The group may often get thrown and Spoon. If you haven’t heard of them in with the surge of neo-new-wave bands, yet, then you likely will. At the top of this but to simply lump them with other guitar- list are Voxtrot, I Love You But I’ve Chosen hooked dance pop is to discount their Darkness, Shearwater, and (just maybe) amazingly fresh sound. They also have a The Black Angels. All of these have be- new EP in the works, so they’ll undoubtedly come staples on the local scene and have be showing off some of their newer tunes garnered a fair amount of attention abroad and a taste of what to expect from them (meaning outside the country of Texas). when they get back on the road this year. Voxtrot may be the most likely to rise I Love You But I’ve Chosen Darkness have beyond Austin, and have already report- similarly received a lot of attention simply edly sold out shows in New York City from a single EP release, but will be touting last summer. And, all this attention has a new full-length album during SXSW. With primarily sprung only from the success of a band name built to be made an acro- their debut EP. Voxtrot has a fun, mostly nym and rivaled only by fellow Austinites 81 …And You Will Know Us By the Trail of biting lyrics and hell-bent attitude capture Dead – that’s 7 to 10 with a decisive ellipsis Austin’s sense of musical tradition and lib- – ILYBICD seem destined for greatness, eral rowdiness better than any other band. or at least memorability. Their dark-wave sound is bolstered by hypnotic guitars and keyboards, bringing a healthy dose of gloom-and-doom to danceable indie pop. It’s like taking your Goth friend to an Inter- pol show, or rather surprising your favorite Brit-pop fan with a trip to an S&M club.

If Voxtrot gets you inspired and moving in all the right ways, then you may also want to check out their slightly sweeter cousin Belaire. The two groups are often on the same bill, and Jason Chronis and Matt Simon play in both bands. But Belaire Voxtrot is fronted by, and focused around, the saccharine vocals of twin sirens Cari and Likewise, Scott Biram also represents the Christa Palazzolo. While the group is too best of Austin’s rawkus rednecks. The self- musically eclectic to pin down as simple proclaimed “dirty old one man band” brings twee, their airy synthesized tunes don’t fall a drunken snarl and a reverbed drawl to the far from the mark. But their fun and upbeat stage and breaks loose like Merle Hag- shows have all the energy of The Go! Team, gard raised on metal. Whether its murder, and if you’re lucky enough to hear them drinkin’, trucks, or Jesus that you’re lookin’ rip through their unlikely version of Kanye for, Biram’s got you covered. West’s “Through the Wire,” the comparison won’t seem far off. But these are just some of the amazing talents that Austin has to show off, and Shearwater may be the biggest local just a few of my favorites. So here’s a brief group that has yet to significantly pierce glimpse of some of the other main local the national scene, but with Okkervil River’s attractions that would be worth a spot on recent success, they are finally getting your SXSW roster: some well-deserved attention. The band, which features three Okkervil members The Arm – Featuring Sean O’Neal and including leaders Jonathon Meiburg and Kevin Bybee of This Microwave World, The Will Sheff, is hardly just an Okkervil spin-off Arm sound like The Fall bent through heavy though. Meiburg’s shrill and chilling voice guitars, funk and a whole hell of a lotta fun. infuses their literate lyrics with the perfect It’s difficult to take anything seriously with juxtaposition to Sheff’s howls. And while this band except their amazing shows. the group has maintained a characteristi- cally alt-folk ethos, they have more recently Bexar Bexar – Ephemeral instrumental loaded their sound with a much stronger compositions based in gently made and and rock-oriented approach. So far it has subtly combined acoustic guitar phrases paid off with some of their most impressive and synthesizer patterns. live shows yet, and even more promises of big things to come when their new album is Daniel Francis Doyle – Doyle is his own released this spring. one-man-band, playing everything from drums to guitar to electronic effects and On the country side of the tracks, Austin back again, with a microphone headset has some of the best insurgent and alt- and liberal use of looping. country music around. The Meat Purvery- ors and Scott Biram stand at the top of the Friends of Dean Martinez - Sophisticated list, and you should catch one of their many instrumental post-rock from some unex- SXSW appearances if you can. The Meat plored desert mesa. At the family reunion, Purveyors are Bloodshot Records staples the Friends of Dean Martinez would sit and embody everything the label stands between Mojave 3 and Ennio Morricone. for. This ain’t dad’s bluegrass, and their 82 The Glass Family - Five guys from San Marcos that create densely woven guitar- Pong – The members of Pong have given piano-and-strings pop rock, drawing from Austin’s music scene a number of impor- a pop landscape defined by Spoon on one tant bands, but probably none as much fun side and Wilco on the other. as this one. Their synth-infused and guitar laden dance-pop has never failed to make Jana Hunter – Austin’s contribution to the a floor shake. freak-folk explosion. Hunter has put out a split release with Devendra Banhart and Quien ’es, BOOM! – Complexly relaxed has been most recently touring as a mem- folk five-piece with guitars, electronics, and ber of the Castanets. sometimes drums and strings.

The Black Angels, formed in 2004, Dao Strom – Saigon-born, California- released their first EP last year and have raised Dao Strom plays ethereal acoustic an LP lined up for April. Named after the country and used to be a member of all- Velvet Underground’s “Black Angel’s Death female New York alt-country band All Night Song,” the group definitely culls its sound Lincoln. from VU and 60’s era psych-rock. Dark and thrilling, the Angel’s embody Morrison’s The Tuna Helpers - Art rock feminists (both Jim and Sterling) most psychedelic playing gothic punk rock with costumes moments, but always with an impressively and a traveling puppet show. tight precision that never seems to let the trip waver into simple or sloppy jams. The The Weary Boys – More great bluegrass band also comes with requisite light show, flavored country and hell-raising attitude so prepare accordingly. (even on the gospel tunes).

The Weird Weeds - Elegant acoustic guitar work meets psychedelic experimentation.

What Made Milwaukee Famous* - Named for the Jerry Lee Lewis song, What Made Milwaukee Famous plays infectiously ear- nest (and earnestly infectious) indie pop.

White Ghosts Shivers - High-energy old- time country, hot jazz, and blues backed up with a swinging combo of multi-instru- mentalists.

Black Angels Photo By Eric Katerman Yuppie Pricks - With a couple of Jacuzzis Lil’ Cap’n Travis – Austin’s alt-country full of shtick, the Yuppie Pricks celebrate staples that ranges from drunken outlaw the Reaganomics of punk rock. roots to the sweetest pop and every mark in-between, and somehow making it all Zom Zoms - Devo-influenced keyboard sound natural together. insanity in matching outfits and ironic haircuts. Milton Mapes - Greg Vanderpool led group that is partly based on alt-country twang So there you go, your utterly and complete- and partly on good, simple rock tunes. The ly biased local critics’ picks of the best that group seems to finally be playing some of Austin has to offer this year at SXSW. You their best music yet. can say you heard it from the Ice Cream Man first! The Pink Swords – As their Web site says: “big, dumb, rock-n-roll from Austin, Texas.” These guys have been blazing heavy guitar rock on Red River better than anyone, making it hard to not to pay attention even if you wanted to. 83 Photos by Aaron Zacks Austin Music Venue Reviews Hole in the Wall Emo’s 2538 Guadalupe St. 603 Red River 512.477.4747 512.477.Emos

Despite its location just across the street Seeing shows at Emo’s is worth braving from the University, this sawdust bar is the dirty bathrooms and the crowds of high more than just a campus watering hole. school kids. In my first months of living Hole in the Wall has been around since in Austin, I paid $3 to see the Frogs play the ‘70s and has somehow survived the on the small inside stage. That doesn’t brutal turnover rate of businesses along happen everywhere. Hell, that doesn’t the Guadalupe strip, while supporting local happen anywhere. I’ve been a loyal Emo’s- acts and traveling bands throughout the goer ever since. Bonuses: The entire door week. Drinks are cheap here, and the pool charge goes to the bands, there’s a “beer tables and shuffle board in the backroom garden” out back so you can drink while keep you busy between sets. There will you smoke/smoke while you drink (smoking certainly be music at the Hole in the Wall bans be damned), and for those with short all week during SXSW — including the Ice attention-spanned: bizarre wall murals and Cream Man’s two-stage extravaganza on a TV behind the bar. Friday March 17th. Also, be sure to check out the top-notch juke box, one of our fa- During SXSW, Emo’s will have shows at vorites in town, before and after the show. three locations: Emo’s Main stage, Emo’s Though I’m not certain that this is where Jr. (the inside stage) and Emo’s Annex the name comes from, there is indeed a (across the street from Emo’s Jr. entrance). “hole the wall,” visible on the interior of All three locations have full bars and bath- the men’s bathroom, though harder to find rooms (Porta-potties at Main and Annex along the wood paneling in the backroom. stages). Not that I’ve looked. —Jeremy Dean Tips from a short girl: Main stage—there’s an elevated area towards the back right of 84 the floor (facing the stage). Emo’s Jr. – You Tips from a short girl: It can be surprisingly can usually push your way to the front on difficult to see the stage. The dilemma: the right side of the stage. you can push forward but it flattens out Capacity: 550 closer to the stage and you’re bound to get —Jodi Relyea stuck behind all the taller and big-haired folks. You can keep back on the incline, The Parish but if you’re as short as me you still often 214 E 6th Street get stuck on your tiptoes, and now you’re 512.478.6372 a good deal away from the stage. My sug- gestion: try to get a spot right behind or American Analog Set recently played their around the sound booth. Behind is best, “last show” (we’re hoping not really the it’s slightly elevated. last) at the Parish, and this was definitely the place for it. Formerly the Mercury, The Tips from a short attention span: There’s Parish does slow, melodic and beautiful one quarter-fed pool table inside, and a TV like no other Austin venue. It’s the perfect behind the bar. place for the likes of the Album Leaf, Spir- —Jodi Relyea itualized, and AAS; but they book a variety of indie acts. When you’re not watching La Zona Rosa the perfectly lit stage, you can shoegaze 612 W. 4th St. at the hardwood floors or stare up at the 512.472.2293 ceiling-hung whimsies. The full bar is rarely over-crowded, and the bathrooms are I find myself often lamenting how many clean. For SXSW-goers, smoke before you great bands get booked at this venue. It’s go inside. For wristbands: this is a badge- usually more expensive than you thought it heavy venue, get there early. would be, and the shows start painfully on- time. I’ve missed entire sets by showing Tips from a short girl: There’s a long bench up reasonably late. But alas, good bands lining both sides of the room. If you get play here. And for SXSW, you won’t have a spot sitting between bands, you’re set. to worry about door prices or time sched- Stand up when the music starts and you’ve ules. You will have to worry about getting got a great view. Left side bench is best in, though. For you wristbands: you’re view. faced with a few problems. There *will* be —Jodi Relyea long lines, and unfortunately the venue is enough off the path that you don’t have an Stubbs easy walk to your backup plan if you don’t 801 Red River get in. Get there early, and then stay. 512.480.8341 At least two full bars, and the bathroom Austin evenings in the Spring are gener- lines aren’t bad. ally pleasant – not too warm, not too cold, but kind of just right. Throw some great Tips from a short girl: The stage is fairly live music in, and you’ve got a hell of a elevated, but the floor is a big crowded good night. At Stubbs you get to stand square and it can be pretty tough to see. out under a big sky and experience some If you’re willing to stand at the back, there of the best bands to come through Austin. are steps up to a raised platform (near the Keep in mind that this means that you’re sound booth). That may be your best bet. standing on a large dirt slope: come wear- Capacity: 1200 ing flip-flops, leave with dirty feet. —Jodi Relyea

There is a full bar inside, outside there are a Club Deville couple of beer bars with limited liquor. La- 900 Red River St. dies, there is often a long line for the inside 512.457.0900 bathroom (only three stalls), but there are also quite a few porta-potties at the rear of What I like best about being at Club Deville the outside area. is that although you’re just a few short blocks from the craziness of 6th Street, you feel enveloped (in a good way) and 85 separated from the sounds and the furies. two rooms and connected by these large Inside the bar you can hunker down in the archways. Poor planning -- you can’t see corner couches and chairs and disappear the stage from the bar, and it’s nearly im- in a room so dark you can’t see what you’re possible to enter the stage room when it’s drinking. Out back, you’re safely sheltered even slightly crowded. Last year I stood by the limestone grotto that wraps around through half a set that I couldn’t see before the colorfully lit patio. If you look close I realized that the bitchy blonde behind the enough and/or you’re really lucky, some- bar had served me an overpriced captain times you can spot little frogs hopping up ‘n’ coke in a leaky cup. Holy hell. I left pis- the grotto walls. This back space is often sed off, sticky, and determined to save you converted into a stage for live music – the from making the same mistake. intimate space and stone wall backdrop makes for a pretty great place to see SXSW Tips from a short girl: You’re screwed. You shows. There’s a full bar, and I’ve never can’t see anyways, hang out at the bar. stood in line for the bathroom here. —Jodi Relyea —Jodi Relyea Tips from a short girl: Shows here are rarely overcrowded; you should have no problem maneuvering your way to a good spot.

Antone’s 5th & Lavaca 512.474.5314 Antone’s is legendary for being Austin’s “home of the blues,” but they book a wide variety of shows these days. They’ll most caro sheridan, splityarn.com likely have some great showcases for (Doug’s): SXSW. Unfortunately, it’s fairly painful to The Continental Club see shows here – the concrete floors are 1315 South Congress hard as hell and no amount of shifting from 512.441.0202 one foot to the next will help. The stage is wide, and the floor even wider, so when the Since 1957 The Continental Club has room is full to capacity you’re often tucked been Austin’s home for the best rockabilly in a spot far off to the sides of the stage, inspired country and blues, and for just a and the sound in these areas is not great. rockin’ good time. Maintaining the feel the The good news is that although the lines ‘50s club that it was when it opened, the can get pretty long, you can move through velvet curtains and the Elvis sign are the them fairly quickly. perfect accompaniment to the hot-rods Hints from a short girl: The floor is wide as and Harleys that are out front nearly every opposed to long, so there are less people night. Full bar, dance floor and pool tables in front of you. It’s often possible to wiggle in the back. your way to the front. —Doug Freeman Capacity: 600 —Jodi Relyea Tips from a short girl: A small dance floor takes up much of the space in front of Exodus the stage. If you want to get closer to the 304 E 6th St. stage than you already are, you’ll have to 512.477.7523 dance your way up there. If you’re too cool to dance, you can likely see the stage by Consider this place your SXSW enemy. sitting on the fairly tall bar stools that line Well, maybe just consider it your last the bar. choice. Sure you’re probably going to get in, but you’ll likely end up sorry you wasted your time. When you walk in, you’ve got a long bar to your right, and the stage is to your left. These areas are separated into 86 Fox and Hound Tips from a short girl: The stage is fairly 401 Guadalupe elevated, but the floor is big and it’s easy 512.494.1200 to get lost in a sea of giants. As far as I see it, you have two options: either go for The Fox and Hound is a fairly boring sports it and sneak around one of the sides to the bar and there’s no reason that you should very very front, Or hang towards the back ever need to go there, except that during (closer to the bar) where you can get a SXSW they set up a large stage out back distant but clear view of the stage. and occasionally a good band gets slipped into a mediocre showcase. And you’re The Showdown almost guaranteed to get in with no line. 2610 Guadalupe Inside the pub there’s a full bar, food, and 512.472.2010 plenty of televisions. Be warned, though – you can’t bring your bar drinks outside The Showdown is close to my heart, a to the stage, although they do sell cans of home-away-from-home if you will. It’s red- beer outside. neck décor is eclectic but simple, it’s beers —Jodi Relyea plenty but not pretentious, and it’s regulars garrulous but friendly. It’s a nice little haven Tips from a short girl: The fact that this smack in the middle of town. Whereas the venue is a bit distant from the hubbub of Hole in the Wall is crowded and loud, the 6th street combined with the large outdoor Showdown is laid back, spacious and the space means that if you end up here, it kind of place you can have a good drunken won’t be overcrowded and you’ll probably conversation in. The huge outdoor patio be able to see okay has plenty of room for the smoking crowd, and the three pool tables circulate pretty Austin Music Hall quickly with varying degrees of skill. And 208 Nueces of course, let us not forget their famous 512.495.9962 Frito Pie and Spicey Nuts. The Showdown ain’t your high-class faire, but hey, they just Austin Music Hall is one of the biggest ven- replaced the troughs in the bathrooms with ues for SXSW, but lines are still likely to be actual urinals, so it may actually be getting too long to get in. But don’t let the throng a little too uppity for me. of people down the street turn you away —Doug Freeman – between shows there is always a mass exodus. The sound is surprisingly good Cactus Café for a large hall, and usually it’s fairly easy 24th & Guadalupe to work your way to the front of the stage. 512.475.6515 —Doug Freeman The Cactus is small, but that’s really what makes it so fantastic. The little bar right in the middle of the University of Texas campus is a favorite venue for acoustic and folk acts, though they draw their share of indie-rock names as well. Capacity is tight here, so it may be difficult to get in, but you’re guaranteed an intimate show. Full bar is available, but it’s cash only, so hit the ATM beforehand. —Doug Freeman Tips from a short girl: Almost every time I’ve been to the Cactus, people have been sitting down for the show -- which means good things for the short folks. Once you find a seat that works for you, you’re golden.

87 Popsicles at Three in the Morning It’s three in the morn and Off the Wookie needs to be at Jakprints by five. It’s possible you made it all the way to this page and you still don’t know what Ice Cream Man is all about. It’s about what you’re holding and why Chris and I only got two hours of sleep last night and probably the same tonight. We could be sleeping, and right now that does sound great, but instead we’re building something we’ll never forget. If you haven’t figured it out, we’re trying to inspire you to do shit. It might sound a bit strange but I really believe that it’s not how you dance, it’s how long you dance. Get out there and shake it and don’t stop. Do it long enough and someone will notice. I drove Bessie, the ice cream truck, out to Austin to give away free ice cream, throw a party with a bunch of friends, and give away a magazine I’m extremely proud of. Soon it will be time to drive back to Long Beach and figure out if it was all worth it. Either way I’ve got a guide to Austin and I now know how to wheat-paste and make prison wine. To everyone that helped put this together, Ice Cream Cheers! Follow all of Ice Cream Man’s Adventures at www.icecreamman.com www.myspace.com/icecreamman

HOW TO MAKE A MILLION DOLLARS IN MUSIC JOURNALISM Start With Two Million By the LA RECORD

We started our own independent weekly newspaper-news-poster, actually-in Los Angeles last August with nothing in the bank but our rent money and nothing to fall back on but asking our parents for rent money. But thanks to the support of LA fixtures like Ice Cream Man, Arthur, the Smell, Amoeba, the Echo and Spaceland and more-most of whom we met after we started publishing-we’ve just finished our first six months of publication, which includes 52 interviews, 26 original cover photos, 26 original pieces of artwork and over 100,000 total words about independent music, art, film and more in the greater LA area, all by writers and artists and designers and photographers working around their demanding day jobs. If we had stopped to think about whether we could have done this, we probably wouldn’t have started in the first place. But instead we just put our heads down and worried about the scary stuff as it happened. Here’s what we’ve learned along the way-one for each Photo by Dan Monick month we’ve survived so far. writing about five bands in your hometown DON’T START A WEBSITE: Despite what and writing about five bands from all over forty-year-old marketing consultants will the world. If you want to help the creative tell you, print won’t die-people always want people in your community, that means something to read at the bar before their getting readers, and you get more readers date shows up, or to flip through while by covering more than just your own com- they’re eating lunch alone, or to hold in munity-connect what you’re doing to the their other hand when they’re outside a wider world so the world can connect back somewhere smoking. to you. DON’T BE EXCLUSIVE: You are your own DON’T GET LAZY: If you’re going to work audience. If you like what you’re doing (and for yourself, why wouldn’t you work hard? you’re able to detach from your ego a little Stay up that extra hour to proof the copy. bit) then people who are reasonably similar People are skeptical. They’ll remember one to you will like what you’re doing. fuck-up over twenty-five flawless issues for Want a bigger audience? Get more writers, a long time. The artists you’re writing about who can write to an audience of their own. probably care deeply about their own It’s better to have a bunch of specialists, work-that’s why they’re good enough that anyway-to combine a bunch of micro-audi- you want to write about them-so shouldn’t ences into one large readership. you be just as serious? There will be times when you’ll do your best and things will still DON’T THINK SMALL: Doing something get fucked up-cars break down, Internet well takes a lot of work no matter how tight goes out, whatever. Save the goodwill of the focus. You’d be surprised how little the people for situations like that. practical time difference there is between 90