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Baseball's "Unwritten" Rules

1. Don't stand on the dirt near home plate while a pitcher is warming up.

2. Don’t steal the catcher’s signs using means outside of the diamond. It’s fair game for base runners to steal signs from the catcher. But when a catcher has to go through multiple signs with the bases empty, something’s not right. Using technology such as video cameras, binoculars, or walkie-talkies should not be used to give hitters an advantage at the plate.

3. Don’t make the first or third at third. Pure strategy. If a base runner makes the first out of an at third base, that means he took a gamble because he otherwise could have scored from second base on 2 sacrifice outs. A runner should not risk making the third out at third base because he would score from second on most any base .

4. If a Pitcher Hits a Teammate, Hit One of Theirs. This unwritten rule gets teams into trouble big time since it leads to ejections and potentially fines and suspensions depending on the severity of the incident. Still, it makes sense why the rule is done. Intentionally throwing at hitters will be reciprocated by the other team. Look out! If any player violates an unwritten rule, he or his team’s top slugger should expect a later in the game, , or even season. The retaliation game continues until the starts tossing people.

5. If you do intentionally hit a batter, don’t aim at his head. Throwing at someone intentionally is one thing. But headhunting is a whole 'nother bag. , a for the Indians in the early 20th century, died after getting hit in the head with a . Until 1971, players were not mandated to wear a helmet. With the increase of concussion awareness throughout all sports, headhunting might be the biggest no-no of all the unwritten rules.

6. Base runners should not shout or distract a fielder getting under an fly. Made well- known recently by Alex Rodriguez, players should not yell or do anything to distract fielders settling under an infield fly. Many in baseball consider it bush league. The Yankees led by 2 runs when Jorge Posada popped up to third base with two out in a May 30, 2007 game at Rogers Centre. Rodriguez, running from first base, shouted “Ha” as he passed third baseman Howie Clark who then backed off and allowed the ball to drop.

7. Don’t walk across the pitcher’s rubber. Another ploy centered around Alex Rodriguez, the pitcher’s mound is not to be walked across by base runners en route to the or back to a base after running on a . On April 22, 2010, Rodriguez trotted back to first base across the infield grass and the mound after rounding second base on a foul ball. A’s pitcher Dallas Braden was irked to say the least. "I don't care if I'm or the 25th man on the roster. If I've got the ball in my hand and I'm on that mound, that's my mound! He ran across the pitcher's mound foot on my rubber. No, not happening. We're not the doormat anymore."

1 8. Don’t to break up a no-hitter in the late . 5 outs shy from a , Ben Davis bunted for a base hit against Curt Schilling in a May 26, 2001 affair between the Padres and Diamondbacks. Like many of these unwritten rules, there is a gray line. In this case for what inning a no-hit bid turns from premature to serious. Generally speaking, a bunt to break up a no- hitter in the late innings is frowned upon.

9. Don’t discuss a no-hitter in progress. A rule commonly disregarded by broadcasters, speaking of a no-hitter in progress is a definite no-no in the dugout. Depending on the pitcher’s attitude, sometimes teammates won’t even come within 10 feet of a pitcher waiting in the dugout to get back on the mound and try to complete a no-hitter. Some fans will take this superstition seriously enough to forbid their friends from mentioning it while watching a no-hit bid on TV.

10. Don’t steal bases when leading by a wide margin. Your team is leading by half a dozen runs and it’s the 8th inning. Your team’s equivalent to Rickey Henderson is on first base. But that is not the time to swipe a bag. Even though that rare, miraculous, 9th inning comeback occurs from year-to- year, stealing bases with an insurmountable lead is bush league.

11. Don't Steal Bases When Greatly Behind. Conversely, if a team is down 11-0 and the man on first tries to steal second base, it just looks bad. It's really disrespectful more to your own team than the opponent since it doesn't help much. That extra base is not going to be the difference maker.

12. Don't Steal Third with 2 Outs. This unwritten rule is more for practicality than respect. If you have the opportunity to steal third base, then it means you're already in . And with 2 outs, you'll be charging to home plate if there's a line drive anyway. Trying to steal third base is difficult enough to begin with. So trying with 2 outs and potentially ending the inning is just a stupid move.

13. Pitchers should not show up their fielders. Some pitchers show little emotion on the mound (win or lose) while others like to take out their frustrations on coolers in the dugout. No matter how important the play, a pitcher should not show up his fielder for making a costly . The " Law". Gaylord Perry always had a habit of putting his hands on his hips and doing other acts of frustration whenever the team was struggling on the field. Fielders don't glare at pitchers when they give up a home . So why should pitchers be allowed to do whatever they want? They already get a zone in the pitcher's mound after all.

14. Don’t admire your right after you hit it. Conversely, a hitter shouldn't show up a pitcher after allowing a home run. This is another one that is brought about more out of respect than anything. When you hit a home run, you're supposed to act like you've hit one before (especially since that's almost always the case anyway). If it's a slight stare and you're Albert Pujols, generally it can . If you're watching it without even running the bases, it's not only disrespectful but also stupid since you don't really know if the ball's going to leave the park. Barry Bonds and Sammy Sosa hit more than a thousand home runs combined. For many of those, they showed up the pitcher by shuffling, spinning, or admiring it. Neither pitchers nor hitters are willing to back down and that is why you still see both parties provoking each other today.

15. Catchers should not turn around to speak to an umpire after they are in their crouch. If there is any question of the umpire’s call on a pitch, catchers are told to face forward while making any comments. Turning around and getting in an umpire’s face is a sign to fans that there may have been a bad call and players and umps alike don’t want to be embarrassed. has a very stern policy on arguing balls and strikes. It won’t take long for a manager to get thrown out of the game. But this rule isn’t documented, just accepted. 2

Follow the Umpire's Code. This is one that is really for the fans and media personalities just as much as the players and coaches. It's fine to disagree and complain to umpires. But they have their own code of conduct and batch of unwritten rules. You can complain all you want about a bad call. Just don't call him a bad umpire as we have seen the difference between the two in action. Working within an umpire's unwritten rules can certainly pay off for teams as well.

16. Don’t slide with your spikes up. is the first player that comes to mind for this unwritten rule. Many players from his era publicly complained of Cobb’s tendencies to slide into bases with his spikes up putting fielders in harms way. It is one thing to slide away from the bag to break up a play. But deliberately trying to put someone on the disabled list is another. Always go in with a "clean" slide.

17. Don't swing at the first pitch after back-to-back home runs.

18. Don't "work the " when your team is up or down by a lot.

19. Don't swing at a 3-0 pitch when your team has a comfortable lead.

20. Don't embarrass opponents by having relievers throw when facing other relievers. This is another situation where common courtesy is involved. With how specialized relief pitchers are, if one is actually batting in the National League then there's other factors in play. Limiting said reliever to just fastballs would be entirely fine. The exception would be players like Micah Owings who can actually hit the ball pretty well.

21. Don't walk in front of a catcher or umpire when getting into batter's box. This is another unwritten rule that is simply about respect for the diamond just like the pitcher's mound and warm- up rules. If you're leaving the dugout and it's a direct line to the catcher or umpire, head into the box from behind them. It's a simple rule. Yet there are those that break them as well as those that get revenge.

22. (Support your teammates) Always run onto the field if a fight breaks out.

23. Always run out ground balls and pop-ups,. Even routine ones.

24. Pitchers stay in the dugout at least until the end of the inning in which they get pulled. More accurately, they at least need to stay through the inning in which they were removed. If a pitcher just gave up 8 earned runs in 2 innings, of course they'll be frustrated and they'll want to retreat to the locker room. That's not fair to the rest of the team, though. It's a display of respect to them to stay on the bench at least through then.

25. Don't help the opposition make a play. If someone's trying to grab a foul ball and running into your dugout, don't let him hop the fence or take control of the dugout. Keep him from getting the ball.

26. When hit by a pitch, don't rub the 'mark'. If a pitcher hits a batter, then either it's revenge for an earlier action or it was a pitch that got away from him. Either way, as a batter you don't rub the spot. You can't show weakness as it just makes the pitcher that much tougher now that he's seen that he can affect the other team.

27. Check with top hitters before hitting someone. 3 http://deadspin.com/a-major-league-pitchers-guide-to-baseballs-bullshit-unw-1585433770 A Major League Pitcher's Guide To Baseball's Bullshit Unwritten Rules by Dirk Hayhurst 06/03/2014

I was feet-up in my basement playing PlayStation when I heard about Tim Kurkjian's piece over at ESPN on "The Unwritten Canon, Revealed" claiming to be an all-access pass to baseball's exhaustive list of unwritten rules. Finally, I think to myself, someone figured it all out. And who better than Kurkjian, one of the good eggs of baseball journalism. He's smart, he's insightful, he fits in most overhead bins. By golly, I can't wait to read this!

Instead, what I got was what more of the same. Piles of oblivious, hypocritical, contradictory bullshit.

I've heard all this stuff before, all throughout my playing days. Don't run over the pitcher's mound because it's sacred ground. Don't pimp home runs because it's disrespectful to the game. Don't throw inside unless you want one of your own players getting buzzed. Don't do this or that unless you have enough service time under your belt in which case do whatever you want.

None of the players passing along their wisdom seemed to realize that it was all completely arbitrary. No one came close to acknowledging "You know, it's stupid and none of us know where it came from. And before we go fracturing some poor rookie's wrist because he looked too happy about going yard on a vet, we should really sit down and ask ourselves if the punishment fits the crime."

Oh, I enjoyed the quips from the all-star cast Timmy rounded up to weigh in on what the unwritten rules of baseball are, why they exist, and what will happen should you break them. It was entertaining to be sure. But by the time I came to the article's end, I was hard-pressed to recall anything substantial on the origin of baseball's honor code or concrete rules on when they should be applied.

It would be one thing if there were consistency across baseball. If everybody followed the same rules, then there'd be some de facto weight behind them. Instead it's 30 different teams with 30 different unwritten rulebooks.

I was once told that when you get to the Big Leagues, a veteran player will take you out and buy you your first suit. That never happened to me or any player I knew in the Padres organization. Instead, Heath Bell bought me a hash brown and a large orange juice at McDonald's once. I was told "That suit stuff is the kind of thing the Yankees do, not the Padres."

Trevor Hoffman, the Padres' closer during my time there, didn't like it when an opposing team pimped a home run off one of his starters. But he didn't have any bloodlust about it unless said starter was really upset and the team agreed there should be payback. B.J. Ryan, the Blue Jays' closer, seemed to froth at the mouth when someone on the opposing team went deep and looked happy about it. He'd cuss to himself about how there would be retaliation whether anyone else was on board or not.

When I was with the Jays, everyone was quiet in the presence of Roy Halladay. You got out of his way, didn't talk to him during his routine, and kept any conversations with him short. He was one star that set the tone for the whole locker room. When he was around, the organization talked about how everyone should emulate his work ethic and how it made the clubhouse a place of business. When he left, everyone talked about how his personality made the clubhouse a dark and moody place and players need to know balance to succeed.

4 If teams existed as local baseball troupes putting on a 6 shows a week, that would be fine. But that's now how it works. And when those conflicting gravities meet and begin to pull in opposite directions, you get a great big bang of stupid.

Let's say a young player shows up on a club. He's a cocky, talented, overly expressive player. He's on a team where the management doesn't want to rein in its players' exuberance. And he's surrounded by older players that don't care about how much showboating you do as long as you do your job, all of them saying things like "You can act however you want as long as you do your job. All that matters is winning."

Now let's say that team goes up against a team where when young players make it to the Big Leagues, they're surrounded by veterans who think rookies should be seen and not heard. And if they step out of line, the older players are going to smack them back into it. Their chief tenet is "You respect the game. You play it the right way. And until you've got 3 years in the show, you haven't done anything yet." What happens when that first team's young player admires his home run? Is it his fault if his opponents get pissed?

Does this sound like the Diamondbacks and the Dodgers? The Red Sox and the Rays? Maybe the Astros versus … Never mind, the Astros don't have enough veterans to run the clubhouse.

It's not hard to see why the system endures. Young players, most of whom are just worried about keeping their jobs and fitting in, will pick an older player to emulate. They pretty much have to since if they don't fall in line with a veteran's whims, they will get labeled selfish. Those young players will eventually come into their own and turn into older players themselves with rookies looking up to them. They'll perpetuate their received wisdom about what "playing the game the right way" entails. And on it will go, cycle after cycle, players learning to play the game correctly as first laid down by God-knows- who with the nonbelievers being summarily shunned.

Some of those players will get traded to other teams where other leaders with different views have imprinted other rookies. Locker rooms will face an unwritten code schism. Sects will form. Doctrines will mutate. In many ways, unwritten rules are like religious views with different values assigned to different doctrines, all of which must be taken on faith. And just like with many religions, believers will embrace things for which they have no clue of the origins just because they've been told to believe them and that there will be hell to pay if they don't.

You have to be fully indoctrinated to buy into this stuff because the most common argument for the unwritten rules (Think of the children!) doesn't stand up to examination. If kids actually followed Baseball's unwritten rules in everyday life, they'd end up in the principal's office or in juvie.

At one point in Kurkjian's article, veteran Nationals utilityman Greg Dobbs is talking about how the players that Cadillac home runs should all be put in their place. About how they're disrespecting the other team, and the game, and setting a horrible example for the youth.

Really? The Yasiel Puigs of the world are destroying America's pastime because they flip bats and jog with swagger? What a shabby, house-of-cards argument that can be demolished by anyone who remembers being a kid.

When I was young looking for a role model, I liked guys like Ken Griffey Jr. I liked him because he was talented. But there were lots of talented players. What made him stand out to me was that he had the audacity to turn his hat backwards. He showed his personality. He had fun.

5 Naturally, coach after coach after coach screamed at us for turning our caps around. "It's not how you're supposed to wear the cap. It's not respecting the uniform. It's not how a ballplayer should look." And yet, it's what we liked. We thought it was cool. It made the game more enjoyable for us without affecting anyone else. It made us want to be baseball players. I played with more than one guy who had the silhouette of Griffey's signature swing tattooed on their arm so they could recall that point in their childhood when they fell in love with the game.

So here's Greg Dobbs saying that when a young gun hits a homer and looks entirely too happy about it, the logical and correct response (the one that shows our youth how to handle disappointment) is to physically harm the perpetrator or his teammate.

This is how you set a good example for kids?!

Jonny Gomes believes there are more bat flippers and showboaters and long-ball pimpers in the game today because the sport has become soft. And if he had his druthers, he'd toughen them up.

"So many rules and regulations have prevented the players from policing our game. Now, a young guy hits a home run. He cruises around the bases. And then you hit him with a pitch to teach him a lesson and you get suspended 6 games. Is it worth it to make a point? No. The rules have been altered. You have a better opportunity to go out in the parking lot and fight a guy after a game than throwing at him. If you fight in the parking lot, you might not get suspended. But if you hit a guy, you are going to get suspended."

Yes, if you go to the parking lot to fight a guy for pimping a homer, that's a sign of a man who respects the game. Whoops ... No! Sorry. That's the sign of an idiot and a criminal. Taking a player to the parking lot won't necessarily get you suspended from baseball. It'll just get you arrested which in this case, is apparently the lesser of two evils.

This kind of thinking illustrates a point you see again-and-again in the unwritten code. That's baseball. And the way you behave while playing it, is more important than the laws we ask Society to abide by. How else can you rationalize breaking someone's wrist, hand, or skull with a beanball as an acceptable form of punishment? How else can you justify committing assault&battery as a learning tool? By that logic, the next time someone cuts me off in traffic, I should send my car barreling into the offender's because that's the only way they're going to learn.

Cubs catcher John Baker said Baseball's frontier justice is okay because unlike in other sports, you can't physically retaliate in-play. As if Baseball would be a better sport and a superior example to the youth it's ruining by its flagrant display of exuberance if you could simply call time-out and beat the shit out the player doing it.

Brandon McCarthy thinks vigilantism wouldn't get out of hand because there are more unwritten rules policing that. "In hockey, guys don't take their skates off and slash an opponent's throat with the blade." See, everyone? Progress!

McCarthy's choice of analogy is not without irony since hockey is getting pushback against fighting in the wake of increased awareness of lasting brain damage (something McCarthy full well knows the dangers of). Is it not hypocritical to endorse head gear to protect pitchers from line drives and yet endorse fighting and beanballing?

After wishing he could take his frustrations out to the parking lot, Gomes likened Baseball service time to ranks in the military saying (and this highlights a real misunderstanding of how the military 6 works): "The more you move up the ranks, the less the unwritten rules apply to you." As if a 4-star general can unilaterally bomb a country he's not at war with or rush in from left field to smash Yunel Escobar in the back during an argument that has nothing to do with him.

It makes zero sense. But then again, it doesn't have to. Not if you're a veteran. All established baseball players are above having to make any sense concerning unwritten codes. Whatever they do logical-or-illogical becomes an accepted part of their character. And worse, it becomes a benchmark for the behavior of others.

When David Ortiz hits a home run, his leisurely trot around the bases is just shy of a professional wrestler's ring entrance. The crowd goes wild, his bat is raised for the first 3 steps, pyrotechnics follow, music roars, and somewhere a Yankee fan is being clobbered with a steel folding chair.

In Ortiz's case, it's all perfectly acceptable. Why? "Because he's Big Papi," says McCarthy. Adds Adam Jones: "If you have 50 career homers, then don't celebrate like Cano or Big Papi or Soriano."

Orioles slugger Chris Davis says of younger players: "Sometimes, you have to act like you've been there before."

You mean, like Ortiz who pimps his homers as standard operating procedure? He's been there before hundreds of times and I'm pretty sure he's influenced lots of young stars who'd very much like to act just like their hero.

Or is that just Ortiz being Ortiz? Like Manny being Manny? How many plate appearances does he need to qualify for "Puig being Puig"? (Assuming he survives the barrage of behavior-adjusting fastballs sent at his head in the meantime.)

The most ridiculous premise for Baseball's unwritten rules was the one put forward by C.J. Wilson who said that Baseball is unique in that it punishes the selfish. I think the fumes from Wilson's lifetime supply of Head&Shoulders have finally gotten to him.

Baseball rewards the selfish. Oh, it masquerades as a team sport. But it has always been one of individual accomplishment first, team benefit second. It's one where players have no loyalty beyond the highest bidder where teammates lie to teammates about performance-enhancing drug use and the words "I want to be with this team for life" apply only as long as the team in question will pay what the player thinks he deserves.

If being a humble servant of the game means holding on to grudges for years until the chance to exact revenge presents itself, then my moral compass is off. If being a selfless 'I'm only hitting you with this 95 mph because I love you, guy' is how you play the game the right way, I was happy to play it wrong.

I gave up plenty of home runs. Far more than I'd care to remember. More than a few of those dingers received the pimp treatment. It sucked, it was frustrating, and sometimes it pissed me off. But at no point did I think the proper response was to put another player's career or health in jeopardy because I made a mistake and the hitter did what he'd trained all his life to do.

There were times I took my sweet time on the mound smiling at hitters who had whiffed on a change-up or got caught looking at fastball on the black. I've talked plenty of shit and received just as much in return. But that's all harmless. When you start inventing rules for why it's okay for you to hurt someone for making you look bad, you're not a gamesman. You're an egomaniac. 7

Or you're an insecure old man worrying about some fit hungry kid taking your job. That's what this is really all about. There are 25 spots on an active roster. Just 750 in all of MLB. Your young teammate is also your competition and the inevitability of aging means he's going to eventually win.

The unwritten rules (your rules) are about maintaining power, about putting him in his place. It's institutionalized bullying. The only positive thing that can be said about it is that it may be a better release of tension than making it personal or resorting to physical hazing. I don't have a lot of sympathy for that argument. But making rookies buy dinner for vets is preferable to outright emotional abuse.

The best way to fix the system is to kill it. Baseball's unwritten rules justify hypocrisy, stupidity, and injury. They are feud propellant. Ego lubricant. Complete and utter bullshit. And they've been around for so long now that no one even knows why they're kept in service beyond the immature fear that the world would screech to halt without them.

Well, three cheers for teaching our kids the importance of vigilantism. And God bless the first player to selfishly turn the other cheek.

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