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APRIL 1999 About the cover: The Mashgiach 7"~ two weeks before his passing- his last VOLUME XXXll/NO. 4 time as a sandek - at the bris of the son of Reb Shlomo Zalman Friedman HeshyArem MasLgiaeL From a Previous Generation Rabbi Nasson Meir Wacht{ogel i1:l1J7 ~1Y 1:ll

We didn't know him. I. A LIFE OF KEDUSHA position, they deemed it in young Nosson Even those of us who were privileged to Meir's best interest to remain in Europe. be among the thousands oftalmidim ofthe At age 15, Nosson Meir rejoined his par­ esteemed Mashgiach of Beth Medrash Sacred Roots ents in North America, and went to New Govoha in Lakewood, Rabbi Nasson Meir York to study at Rabbeinu Wachtfogel, did not really know him. b Nosson was born on 9 I, Yitzchak Elchanan, then situated in Man­ Yes - we learned much from his 670 (1910) in the small town of hattan's , the most promi­ shmuessen (ethical discourses), even more ru uh!, , where his father, nent yeshiva gedola in America at that time, from hisva'adim (small discussion groups), Rabbi Moshe Yorn Tov Wachtfogel, was where outstanding gedolei Torah, such as and - most of all - from his shining per­ . The elder Rabbi Wachtfogel - a dis­ Rabbi , would give shiurim. sonal example. Yes - we sought and ben­ ciple of the Alter of Slobodka -was one In the Yeshiva, Nosson Meir met and efited greatly from his sage counsel. But, of the first fourteen students ofYeshiva Etz befriended other future Torah luminaries because he strove with all his might his Chaim in Slutzk (the forerunner of the including Rabbi Moshe Bick, Rabbi Yehu­ entire lifetime to conceal his true abilities of Kletzk and Lakewood) head­ da Davis ( of Mountaindale ), and deeds, we could not possibly plumb the ed by Rabbi . When and \Yrb:t> Rabbi 1<"\:l"n>. depths or scale the heights of his greatness. Reb Isser Zalman was away, Reb Moshe Rabbi Bick - who later emerged as an out­ And now that he is no longer with us Yorn Tov would deliver the in his standing ravand poseik-testified that Reb (having passed away on 2 Kislev this year), stead. Nosson had been the only one among we will never be able to do so. Nosson Meir attended the Yeshiva them who truly understood tl1e profound Nevertheless, we would do well to study Ketana in Kelm, where - together with shiurim of the Meitchetzer (genius), what is known to us about the life and ideal.s the future Rosh Yeshiva of Telshe, Rabbi Rabbi Shlomo Polachek. of this spiritual giant. Chaim Stein t<""\:l"n> - he studied under the great mussar figure, Rabbi Elya Lop­ A Fitting Portent Heshy Arem of BrookJyn is a forn1er tah11id of ian, author of Lev Eliyahu. . His most recent contri­ When Rabbi Moshe Yorn 1bv and his hen the yeshiva later incor­ bution to JO was a biographical sketch of Rabbi rebbetzin moved to in the early porated college-level secular Yitzchok Isbee 7"Yr (Sept. '98). l 920's to assume a prestigious rabbinical W studies into its program, Nos-

The Jewish Observer, April 1999 5 va. After looking over these semichos, revealing: A man related that he had Reb Boruch Ber told Nosson Meir, once left his watch on a window sill in "These will never do. I will write you the Yeshiva. Many years later, he came an even more glowing onel" back to Kehn and found the watch in the (In later years, the Mashgiach was exact same place! asked what Reb Boruch Ber had writ­ Reb Nosson remained in Kelm for ten in the semicha. Reb Nosson respond­ three years, studying primarily under ed that he did not know; he had never Rabbi Daniel Movoshovitz. Toward the read it! When asked if the Mashgiach end of that period, he became engaged wasn't curious as to the wording of the to Chava Slomowitz - a graduate of semicha, Reb Nosson explained, "Why Schenirer's Teacher's Seminary in should I look at it? I know who I real­ Cracow - who shared his burning ide­ ly am!") alism for Torah. She was the daughter Reb Boruch Ber then called togeth­ of Rabbi Yisroel Zalman Slomowitz, Rav The Mashgiach with Rabbi <;in~ (Photo: Fred Eckhouse, Chicago) er his grandchildren and asked Nosson of the town of Geniendz, a highly Meir to bless them .... The young Amer­ regarded talmid chacham. ican bachur humbly assumed that Reb As the clouds of war darkened over son Meir boldly protested the move to Boruch Ber merely intended to make Europe, Reb Nosson realized it was time the administration. He then convinced him feel good. En route to Montreal, Reb to return to America. Since the gov­ his friends to come with him to study Nasson heard that Rabbi Elchonon ernment would not issue a visa to his in the great yeshivos in Europe; he joined Wasserman, the Rosh Yeshiva of Bara­ kalla (fiancee) unless she were married the Mirrer Yeshiva in . novich, was in New York. Reb Nosson to Reb Nosson, a Canadian citizen, the In Mir, Nosson Meir gained a repu­ was at a loss regarding his future plans, kiddushin (wedding ceremony) took tation as a brilliant lamdan and out­ and sought guidance from Reb place in Kovno, while the chupa was standing masmid. He became particu­ Elchonon. After an extensive conver­ postponed until they reached America. larly close with another talmid, Yehuda sation, Reb Elchonon advised him to Zev Segal, the future Manchester Rosh take the first ship back to Europe to join A Torah Pioneer Yeshiva. The yeshiva's greatest impact the famed in Kelm. on him, however, came from the influ­ Despite not having seen his parents in fter Pesach 1942, Reb Nosson and ence of its legendary Mashgiach, Rabbi seven years, Reb Nosson unhesitating­ nineteen other and bachurim Yerucham Levovitz, and his eventual ly followed the Rosh Yeshiva's directive. A joined in White Plains, NY to successor, Rabbi . form Beth Medrash Govoha - proba­ From that time on, Nosson Meir devot­ The World of Kelm bly the very first in America. The ed his life to spiritual self-perfection and concept of young married men devot­ the study and dissemination of mussar o properly understand Reb Nos­ ing themselves entirely to (ethics). son's essence, we must first was virtually unheard of on these Besides his seven years in the Mir, Tunderstand the essence of Kelm. shores. Nosson Meir studied briefly in And that is impossible. Those who had When Reb Nosson and others Kamenitz, under Rabbi Boruch Ber been there testify that it' awesome approached Rabbi Aaron Kotler to Liebowitz. Upon the passing of Reb level of spiritual perfection was so far become their rosh yeshiva, he declined Yerucham in 1936, Nosson Meir decid­ above ours that we cannot relate to it. for two reasons: Firstly, he was too ed to return to America. Before he did Furthermore, one of the cardinal tenets involved in hatzala work, helping so, however, he went to bid farewell to of Kelm was that any attribute or good escape the Nazi inferno. Secondly, he felt the Kamenitzer Rosh Yeshiva. deed that is known to others is worth that talmidim should not engage their very little. Hence, even in those times, rosh yeshiva. When he would open his A Glowing Semi cha no outsider was able to truly appreciate own yeshiva, as he had planned, they the loftiness of Kelm. were welcome to join. b Boruch Ber suggested that one Founded by Rabbi , Within a year, Reb Nasson and the who returns to America should known as "the Alter (Elder);' and sub­ others had accepted Reb Aaron's invita­ lliave semicha (rabbinical ordina­ sequently led by his son-in-law, Rabbi tion. The new yeshiva was started in Lake­ tion). Nosson Meir replied that he had Zvi Hirsch Broyde, the Talmud Torah wood, , with fourteen already received semicha from several was a major bastion of the Mussar talmidim (the same number that began renowned rabbanim and roshei yeshiva, Movement in Europe. the yeshiva in Slutzk!). Among them were including Rabbi Shkop and Rabbi Leiz­ Among the many stories that abound the yungeleit from White Plains with their er Yudel Finkel, the Mirrer Rosh Yeshi- regarding Kelm, one is particularly sifrei Torah, sefarim, shtenders, and all.

6 The Jewish Observer, April 1999 A short time later, Reb Nosson was The Second Dream chacham in his own right - was only offered a position in a prominent yeshi­ 44 at the time. He felt totally over­ va in New York. Reb Aaron, however ransplanting his yeshiva to Amer­ whelmed by the charge of succeeding his was determined to keep him in Lake­ ica was the first of Reb Aaron's great father. wood, and offered him the position of Tdreams. When that had taken Notwithstanding that Reb Nosson Mashgiach. root, he turned his attention to anoth­ was eight years older than Reb Shneur, The rest is ... the story of the growth er of his aspirations: opening "branch" the Mashgiach ensured a smooth tran­ of advanced Torah study in America. yeshivas throughout the country. Reb sition by according the highest respect Reb Nosson faithfully served in that post Nasson was a partner in this endeavor, to the new Rosh Yeshiva. To Reb Nosson, for more than five decades, until his as well. One of the first such branches the Rosh Yeshiva was king, and he passmg. was the Talmudical Yeshiva of Philadel­ merely a 1ninister in his court. phia, founded in 1953, followed by Long During Reb Shneur's tenure, the II. THE LAKEWOOD YEARS Beach, Scranton and Denver. Yeshiva underwent explosive growth: Unlike today, there were almost no Enrollment rose from 200 to 800. Obvi­ ssuming the new post was not precedents for such a yeshiva, making ously, this placed an enormous burden easy for Reb Nosson. Lakewood it most difficult to convince all the seg­ on both the Rosh Yeshiva and the Mash­ A did not yet have suitable ments of people involved - the com­ giach. Indeed, Reb Nosson was aided by schools for his children. Additionally, munity, the potential roshei yeshiva, and devoted and capable assistant his Rebbetzin was one of the main the charter talmidim- that the under­ Mashgichim, Rabbi Yehuda Jacobs and teachers of the High taking would succeed. Reb Nosson Rabbi Eliezer Stefansky. Yet Reb Shneur School and Seminary in Brooklyn adroitly prodded, cajoled, and begged, and Reb Nosson continued - actual­ under the auspices of her close col­ if necessary, until the project was ly, accelerated - the proliferation of league, Rebbetzin Vichna Kaplan. launched. He was the negotiator, con­ branch yeshivas, especially the new Therefore, the family continued to live ciliator and skilled strategist. Rabbi genre of community kollelim, consistent in Williamsburg (where the Bais l'<-"""'1 credits the Mashgiach with Reb Aaron's belief that the opti­ Yaakov was located for many years, for having convinced him to join Rabbi mum means of raising the Torah stan­ before moving to Boro Park). Reb Shmuel Kamenetzky l'< .. 1"71:> as Rosh dards of a community was by its host­ N osson would come home only for Yeshiva in Philadelphia. ing an institution of higher learning. A Shabbos, spending the rest of the "We owe our lives to him;' remarked ripple effect would eventually spread to week in the Yeshiva. Although he Rabbi Svei - a sentiment echoed by the shuls and yeshivas ketanos in the stayed in a separate room in the many other leading Torah personalities. neighborhood. dormitory, his very presence there The community kollel went one step among the bachurim allowed for easy Difficult Transitions further. Besides their rigid schedule of accessibility. intense Torah study during the morn­ Reb Nosson - ever the paragon of n 1962, Beth Medrash Govoha, as ing and afternoon sessions, the kollel humility and overawed by Reb Aaron's well as the entire Torah world, suf­ yungeleit directly reached out to the greatness - continued to act more like I fered a devastating blow with the community by inviting them to join the a talmid than a member of the hanhala passing of Reb Aaron. The awesome evening session comprised of special shi­ (administration). Yet he accomplished responsibility of the Yeshiva fell square­ urim, and as individual study partners. wonders in his new position. ly upon the shoulders of his son Reb Lakewood community kollelim were The young men were mostly Amer­ Shneur, who - an outstanding talmid opened in , , , icans, and, as such, had been exposed to the culture of the streets, subways, and ballparks. How were they to relate to the saintly Kletzker Rosh Yeshiva who was worlds above them? That was Reb Nos­ son's difficult task - to bridge the chasm and create a strong bond Personal responsibility throughout service - NOT JUSf "PAPERWORK" between the European and the ORIGINATOR OF THE PRESENT RABBINICALLY APPROVED METHOD American talmidim. Highly recommended by Gedolai Hador- Here and in Eretz Yisrael Several years later, as war-torn Holo­ 104.l-42nd Street, Brooklyn, NY 11219 caust refugees came to the Yeshiva, the Day&N"ightphone: (718) 851-8925 Mashgiach was there to welcome 1Vt»r.i1'<1~r.il'

The Jewish Observer, April 1999 7 , , Deal (NJ), and other reluctant to relocate to some remote city ance and encouragement, continuing locations in the U.S. Reb Shneur then in founding or joining a kollel or yeshi­ the mesora of the Yeshiva for yet a third had his eye on , and the va. They were concerned about chinuch, generation. Mashgiach was a willing partner. shidduchim, and parnassa. The Mash­ He approached a yungerman and giach did not merely bless them; he Phenomenal Growth asked, "How about Australia?" assured each one success in all these ((Where?" was the incredulous areas. he next 16 years witnessed even response. "A kollel Down Under? People wondered how Reb Nasson more exponential growth in the Never!" assumed such responsibility to vouch for TYeshiva. Enrollment skyrocketed '' B' ezras Ilashem, it can be done, and things that were totally beyond his con­ to over 2300. Another Assistant Mash­ it will be done," insisted Reb Nasson. trol. He explained - as he always did giach, Rabbi Yaakov Pollak, was added And he did not rest until it was accom­ - that it was not he! He was merely a to the staff. Kollelim were opened in plished. messenger, a conduit conveying the will Montreal, , Miami Beach, and Often, yungeleit were more than of Hashem. There were no personal Denver. Reb Nasson was by now an interests, desires, or powers intermingled octogenarian, but he had more to whatsoever! accomplish. Our nu Sometimes a yungerman needed About ten years ago, Reb Nosson felt arm-twisting to join a particular kollel. that the time had come to bring in a underst Whether it required a midnight visit to new, younger Mashgiach. Impressed Monsey to see the Vizhnitzer or with Rabbi Mattisyahu Salomon,.... """" a phone call to Eretz Yisroel at 3:00 a.m. of Gateshead, the Mashgiach asked the what Ka (U.S. time) to pressure the candidate, it Roshei Yeshiva to invite Rabbi Salomon was done without hesitation. Nothing to join the hanhala. Wben they did, Reb means t and no one intimidated the Mashgiach. Nosson persisted until Reb Mattisyahu In 1982, the Yeshiva once again suf­ accepted the invitation. fered a crnshing loss with the passing of Reb Shneur at age 64. During the , III. MASHGIACHPAR EXCELLENCE it was the Mashgiach who announced the new Roshei Yeshiva ~n,,""1, led by hat is the role of a Mashgiach? Reb Shneur's son, Rabbi Aryeh Malkiel The Alter of Slabodka would Kotler, along with Rabbi Yerucham W cite the pasuk read in the Rosh Olshin, Rabbi Schustal and Rabbi Hashana Haftora: "To revive the spirit Yisroel Neuman. All gedolei Torah, they of the lowly and to revive the heart of were young enough to be Reh Nosson's the contrite" (Yeshayahu 57,15). children. They looked to him for guid- Rabbi Salomon, in his moving inau-

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------· ------8 The Jewish Observer, April 1999 gural address in Lakewood, referred to covered that exactly at that time, a bachur self with his family and everyone he the Mishna (Avos 1:6) which stresses the had been driving back to Lakewood, when comes into contact with. Otherwise, he need to acquire both a rav and a friend. he was accosted by two hoodlums with is in danger of destroying the fabric of "The Rosh Yeshiva is the rav,n asserted knives, demanding money. his family and all his other relation­ Reb Mattisyahu. "The Mashgiach is the The young man insisted that he had no ships." friend, the confidant, whose words of money on him. If they wished, they could Of course, as Reb Nasson would encouragement, and even reproof, are come along with him in the car to his des­ remind us, the study of Mussar should the result of a close and mutually tination, and he would gladly give them a be viewed primarily as a source of guid­ warm relationship." large sum then. ance for personal conduct. If one fails Reb Nasson personified all these \!\!hen the bachur arrived in Lakewood to put the concepts into practice, he has attributes, and much more. with two knife-brandishing passengers in the missed the entire point. As Reb Aryeh back seat, someone immediately called the In Beth Medrash Govoha and all explained, while most often the Rosh police, and the ordeal was soon over. other Lakewood-type yeshivas, the Yeshiva is like a father to the talmidim, \!\!hen the protagonist of the above inci­ halachic passages of the Gemora are and the Mashgiach is more like a moth­ dent asked Reb Nasson how he could pos­ explored in all their profundity - er, Reb Nosson assumed both roles in sibly thank him for saving his life, the Mash­ whether these laws are relevant to cur­ the Yeshiva. giach responded, "By not publicizing what rent-day practice or even if they apply A son-in-law of the Mashgiach, Rabbi happened.'' only to a past or future era. The Mash­ Tzvi Yosef Bursztyn, Rosh Yeshiva of the giach exhorted us to approach the of Lakewood, relates that in the The Centrality ofMussar Aggadic sections - particularly those Yeshiva's early days, there was no coffee room dealing with ethics - with the same for the talmidim to take a quick snack. n the words of Rabbi Salomon: "The depth, and then apply the lessons to our Although the Mashgiach 's trip from New Mashgiach taught us that, today, one daily lives. York required him to take both a train and I must study Mussar not in order to When talmidim would mention that a bus, each time he would bring along as become a Chofetz Chaim. He must do the Chazon !sh had not studied mussar, many large bagloads of apples as he could so merely to know how to conduct him- he vehemently disagreed. "Of course the carry, and place them in the hall for the talmidim to enjoy.

Understanding Us

e did not know him, but he certainly knew us. Without W ever having formally studied psychology, Reb Nasson understood the workings of the human mind and emotions far better than any profes­ sional. That is why his advice - always right on the mark - was constantly being sought. The Mashgiach was often asked how it is humanly possible to concentrate on prayers habitually recited three times a day for most of a person)s life. His answer: It is our obligation to harness the power of habit, and channel it into the service of Hashem. In this regard, for example, a person can and sbould train himself to habitually daven with concentration. Reb Nasson seemed to see and hear what no one else could. Late one night, the Mashgiach - sens­ ing that a talmid was in danger - suddenly gathered nine bachurim and began recit­ ing Tehillirn with them. It was later dis-

The Jewish Observer, April 1999 9 of his fuvorite maxims was a partial quo­ negative traits within oneself, in the words tation from the Mesillas Yesharim: ... "Im of Reb Daniel, was the greatest achieve­ yihiyeh le'ben chayil-If he will be a sol­ ment possible. dier.... " He did not deem it necessary to The Alter of Kelm was known not to cite the entire sentence, since he expect­ have lifted a finger without forethought. ed us either to know the conclusion of His disciple, Rabbi Elya Lopian - Reb the statement, or to realize its implica­ Nosson's rebbi - completely mastered tions on our own. this trait. Once, while waiting for a bus, A loyal officer in Hashem's army­ Reb Elya turned his head to see if it was The Mashgiach (back left), Rabbi Aaron Kotler 7"~ on the battlefield every day of his life - coming. He later chastised himself for (center), Rabbi Avraham Kaln1anowitz 7"~ (right) the Mashgiach felt that one ought never doing so. "Will the bus come any faster Chazon !sh studied mussar!" he would take his mind off his mission. if I look for it?" he asked. protest. "Each morning when the Cha­ "Taking it easy:' he would say, (( is a Reb Nasson fully absorbed and inter­ zon !sh would recite in Shacharis, 'Place treife term, an American malady." He nalized these lofty ideals. not your trust in princes, in man who would chide us if we leaned too far back cannot help' ( Tehillim I 46,3) he would in our chairs or put our hands in our Equanimity do so with such fervor and concentra­ pockets, which he considered to be tion, it was the most potent and effec­ pe'rikas ohl, casting off the yoke of the uring the month of , follow­ tive mussar lesson possible! We do not Heavenly kingdom. ing Shacharis, the custom in daven like that, so we must learn mus­ Would a soldier on the battlefield DBeth Medrash Govoha is to recite sar to become spiritually fit:' stand or sit that way? a chapter of Orchos Chaim LehaRosh, which is divided into seven chapters, one IV. THE QUINTESSENTIAL SOLDIER Self Control for each day of the week. Yungeleit would rotate in leading the recitation, eb Nasson considered life to be ne of the primary teachings while everyone else would respond. a sacred mission - constantly, and goals in Kelm was to achieve Every Thursday, it was the Mashgiach's Rthroughout one's years. His 0 total discipline of one's thoughts, turn to lead. Reb Nasson would slow every move reflected this doctrine. One words, and deeds. "Taming the lion" of down at one particular passage and

vation of the Jewish people. All these "Did You Wait for Moshiach?" occurrences· will be on a .]eve!. so far above the ream of our expectations that Ashmuess by they could ?nly be deem~d "sudden:' Rabbi Nossol'I Wachtfogel 7":irr But we. mustpay close attention also to the fatter half of the verse. Itdictates that only those who seek and wait in ,A.riticipated And Sudden be considered "sudden'' vis-a-vis what anticipation for the redemption will be uSuddeulf, the master whom you we had expected. worthy of being part of this glorious se'ek ~m co!lle to his tenlple!" We have absolutely no inkling as to revelation. The more a person looks (M~Iachi 3,l). Thisyerse deals with what will truly occur in.those days .. The fo!'.Ward to Moshlach, the more. of the th~ ~eve)~tion of Mo,shiach (see world as we know it today .is a mere revclati<>nwill he meritto witness. The Raate th~t •. aweso1lle event. what will be then. The entire creation all those who clid not await Moshiach ~4}"et, thep~pet f()~etells th\lt the will rejoice at the good fortune of the will not detect any change, and will not rev,elatiq~)~il_l'J>e::'-'_s_~dde,n.": Jewish people when they "arrive at Zion · even•realize that he has come! }~?th

10 The Jewish Observer, April 1999 stress it:" Al tevahel al ma' asecha-When even a bit warm;' he would be terribly contemplating action, do not move in disappointed with himself, as if he had haste." failed a test. He would advise newlyweds What an epitaphic aphorism describ­ to study Erech Apayim, a sefer that deals ing the Mashgiach! Indeed,noted Rabbi with the destructiveness of anger, and Yerucham Olshin, Reb Nasson continued how to avoid it. to lead Thursday's chapter of Orchos To Reb Nasson, honor meant noth­ Chaim even toward the end of his life. ing - no, it was poison, to be shunned Very weak, virtually all but inaudible, yet at all costs. He towered far above such amazingly he mustered up the strength petty "nonsense." Rabbi Elya Gold­ The Mashgiach with Rabbi ?":n to recite one sentence in a loud and dear schmidt, Mashgiach of the Yeshiva of voice: Al tevahel al ma'asecha! South Fallsburg, testifies that his rebbi, Reb Nosson's life revolved around this Reb Nasson, wanted to accomplish all no desire for money, and even avoided maxim. He was able to maintain his he possibly could for the honor of Heav­ touching it, when possible. He was per­ emotional equilibrium at all times and en, and yet remain invisible-both dur­ fectly content with his paltry salary and in all circumstances, regardless of the ing his lifetime ... and afterwards. Rabbi vehemently refused to accept a raise. stress he was under and the pressure of Yisroel Neuman observed that not only The Mashgiach admitted that he the situation. His decisions - small did the Mashgiach hide his greatness needed eyeglasses to see properly. But he and large - were invariably based on from others, he sought to deceive him­ avoided getting them lest he see some­ clear and rational thinking. Nothing self as well, fearing that it would lead to thing spiritually detrimental. seemed to confound him. even a modicum of arrogance. As retold by Rabbi , In every aspect of his life the Mash­ during the Mashgiach's years in the Mir, Vanquishing the Yeitzer Hara giach sought to fulfill all his physical he had observed Reb Yerucham eating. needs with the barest minimum possi­ It was a lesson in saintliness he would major item on Reb Nosson's ble. He never owned a house, always never forget. The meal seemed to have personal agenda was never to feel referring to his home as the stanzia as much effect on Reb Yerucham as if the Athe slightest trace of anger. If, as (temporary lodging), and his furniture spoon were entering someone else's he described it, he felt "his heart getting as heltzer (lumber). He had absolutely mouth. Reb Nasson would strive to do

,-,_: >' ,, _,, -: :,: --< ',,,,' , ,'''" aWmt~the red~!llPtioh'"" win merit to Rouse oflsrael (ibid). . ... • • ;th.~~,~~~~tasiit~e~nl~tb~ir ''~()Wtolfashetn~nthe;.holymountain Alio:ur r::ars in exile have been full f!>ll]•4ep~ .. ~.ll¢w,d~fO~t)le in.l'etushafayl!ll'1 (ibid,~; ofterrible J:>aln and suffedug. We cane 'lll:~t.d~'!'.~hc.:11 ~eM'lll~frtte;trk · not even begin toim.agin~ ,hqw great 1)11~ci11fij~~.11~tions;and weWill 6r~atReward will j)e our compensation f1" *";~a~¢ J!li)lllchu Rabba 2~Y states that.the be the salvation and ligl!t th.at we 'llriJI ~~enced sllfferiJ,1~ :ii'se'\\Thl>~~ •· ll!lo.f\'ites '\\Tm givett~ "prMleg~" lJ1erit, due tq the endless. aftlktionswe no'\IT undergoing o::rts~~;~qulg ~aJi~e. ···•of•1fostroyi11gt},•B¢isHamikdtis,hund have undergope inthi~1ong \l!ld dark . th.at fu.ese lli'e the 15~gl!1'gs ofMo$hi\ iujing();ver the Jews in exile, !lecause · galusl Bverydr<;>J:> ()f1e,..jsh bl()odthat a;h•. They·shoµ]d~~s~r~lt~infh.~ Eisa"l'weptand siglledwh~ Yitzcliak h.as ever been spilled, every slightpain knqwl~dge that fh.e.se .. J:>i\i11s "11~ ~- . l>Jessed Yaak0y. For the~ ot th.ree tll~t ¥1YJ•'W' ,h~s eyer su~eref1iwiH be · cµ]ti\'S.wilJ not eng!;!f~ fof,l(ll)gl~l1.s¢ te~rs that Eis shed; he .f\'erjted so tr3Jlsfor:med into light and )oy! soon they wiJlilll ~~.Sl>~~~ ~{) ll1'-ena. fil'!lch! Bythe,same t?ken,then,any' Every!fu.ybrmgs ~t;l?~~V? \ll~t~!>ll­ one '\\'ho siilfors spirittial Pain .is great' Retributioh d.erful. 1110111ent ~n t:f~~¥~ "'111 ly eo1np~n511ted forit.: • . . . . ·. ·. · "I shall ttansfoi:JntiteirmoUrnmg heal tlle•broken-h~~rt~d,~g·~u.i:s?r,~ ..• Shem, the soll. 11,attelrlpt' . t0j9y llnd~ shalIC91tlfo1't th~ 'Jlld ro'1\7s ~d grqans ~h'a,11 z.i:\li~~: // , ed fqrfourht\lllit'ed yel)t•.ro b!i;ngthe gladdenth~inplaceoftheirgrief' «Sl')ake off lliY'.f1~~S·1'\/·~r~.elj~<)ri; · n~!ions oftheW()rlddoser~() ffashelll, • (Yir»tiyahu 3J,l~).1'hisisanassur­ Y"'U'· ~plend!d . c;l()th~~>Y.fyf~)'J:>sopleJ ~11t fu.ey did ll()~ li5ten; (Imagine the ~~ ~l>~l-l'~k~'l'~tHe has Jil>f . (~4b~o.l~s .. S~ab:1'f~JF;;§l1~~y.t11~ ~g()nyhefej~)·•·;As a r(!~ard,li.,-·merc ~(lrg(l~l1 llll'!'~~~i~stana that a Master)vhdtc>hayeAYJ"all~lrl•as.acl,es~lldant, J~h3S-0ry~(llt~;t(l~'···'.11te~fo~d .~is tem.P:1e! . . ; .;; •. . ···i· ...•.... /'(~o pro~llliJ1led th(\Na.m.e.of .ff.ashef11 ()f';;\)!.!~1s1!'!!)~fWe.~ hlstq~ are May,it u~ur.soon;if!i)o/ daysf. tb' the.entire wl>tlaand establishedthe sti!IJ>l~i!~~gtjy)~~hmn to.a'venge Ametil •• •

The Jewish Observer, April 1999 11 the same. He would exclaim,"Don't would run into Mussa[, Mussaf into throw yourself into the plate!" Mincha, and Mincha into Ne'ila, with­ out so much as a moment's pause. '~ .. Fire, Fire!" The Mashgiach's son Reb Elya Ber, Rosh Yeshiva of the Yeshiva of South Falls­ he Mashgiach would always urge burg, recalls that, when he was a young us to perform the mitzvos with a boy, the family was once stranded on Tbren (enthusiasm), or as he Tisha B' Av in a Montreal neighborhood expressed it, "with fire, fire!" This with no . His father went up to approach was most evident in the the attic, and spent the entire night and Mashgiach's tefilla. He would daven as day weeping with such intensity that the a child cries to his father, and a servant family was frightened for his health. beseeches his master. 1537 50th Street, Whenever Reb Nosson would recite The Mashgiach and Moshiach Brooklyn, NY 11219 the name of Hashem - whether it (718) 854-2911 would be during tefilla or while recit­ b Nosson was probably most well ing a blessing over food - his eyes known for his incessant longing would open wide, and his entire body ruor the Ge'ula (final Redemption) Uncle Moishy, would quiver noticeably. and the coming of Moshiach. Mordechai Ben.David, Rabbi Naftoli Kempler notes that it teach us that one of the first questions a and other top-of-the-line has been said regarding Reb Yisroel person will be asked by the Heavenly Salanter that he could hide everything court is~ mrl, Did you look forward Jewish entertainers about his greatness except his radiant to salvation? Perhaps no one else in our are available face. For the Mashgiach, it was his dav­ generation will be able to answer this to visit ening. Although he was a master at con­ question as positively as the Mashgiach. cealing his piety, during tefilla, all dis­ Legend has it that he had a suitcase seriously ill guises fell away. with a set of Shabbos clothes ready in the children His intensity of prayer was most event Moshiach arrived suddenly. But thanks to mtlnru:n!I manifest on Yorn Kippur. Starting with we need not have seen the suitcase to ,,,,.,,.,,,., a seemingly endless Mincha on Erev Yam believe it. The subject of Ge'ula was con­ ~. ::ipv't ., n:i. mn Kippur-which left him very little time stantly on the Mashgiach's lips, and it Atnessed project run by Agudath lstatl Of America to eat the Seuda Hamafsekes - the was obvious from his actions that he was !n conjunction with Suki & Ding Produal.ons Mashgiach appeared to be standing in ready for it at any time. To set up an appolnlrnent, ca!i: ~ his corner, bent over, reciting the She­ Whenever he would hear a tumult, (212}797·9000 Ext.42 • M-F, 9-5 ,~. ' moneh Esrei the entire day. Shacharis he would exclaim, "That must be him!" Often he would say, "This is the last shmuess in Galus (Exile);' or "This is the We are now accepting applications last Yam Tov in Gal us. The next one will for P"Wn -V"lWn (1999-2000) be in Yerushalayim." Asked at the begin­ ning of a meeting if he had been wait­ from High school graduates ing long, he would respond, "I've been waiting for more than 50 years!" If you who are n,il:l n1?v:i and C'r.IW 'N"l' spoke to him before Pesach, he would • Intensive study in 'e11j? 'i'lr.17 ask, "Do you have your shepse'le (sheep for the Karban Pesach) yet?" •Advanced teaching~training program: psychology, methodology, and model lessons And who can forget any wedding or • Optional special education, computer, graphic arts, Simchas Yorn Tov where the Mashgiach math courses was present? The highlight was always Reb • Transferable credits and retognised teachers diploma Nosson in middle of the circle dancing with intensity and grace. As soon as the • Guest speakers and extra~ curricular activities MA'ALOT MONTREAL Mashgiach would enter, the tune would •Warm and friendly atmosphere \\'c arc a J\1a aloi branch automatically switch to "Achakeh lo" ("I oftcnng fu/h accredited anticipate every day that Moshiach will • Trip to eastern Europe and course towards a degree Eretz Yisroel come"). Everyone- including the musi­ cians - knew the Mashgiach's song.

----·~------···------12 The Jewish observer, April 1999 Longing for the Redemption involves also being unhappy and uncomfortable with our current situation in Galus. The Mashgiach would constantly stress that if we are content with our present status, we prevent Moshiach from coming. He fur­ ther explained that regardless of how well off we may be now, Moshiach's arrival will herald an era that is infinitely greater for every single person, not only tzaddikim.

V. CRESCENDO

More Kollelim

on reaching an age when most eople slow down, the Mash­ U:giach forged ahead with renewed vigor. Recently, he founded and headed a new organization, Kolle! International, to Reb Nosso11 with Rab/1i N-'IJ>'n.t establish kollelim, even in small towns where Jews lived. Personally raising the seed money for each kolle~ tl1e Mashgiach lived A Special Yahrzeit the Yeshiva to set aside a special day to see two of them - in Manalapan and in observance of his Yahrzeit. This way, Howell, both near Lakewood - take root. e didn't know him. Cer­ it was merely subsumed in Reb Less than a week prior to his passing, tainly, we were not pre­ Aaron's Yahrzeit. Reb Nasson was involved in launching W pared for the final chapter of But it may well have been a much a new kollel on Long Island. When he the Mashgiach's noble life. As if to more profound omen from Above. heard that progress on the project was clearly demonstrate the success and The Mashgiach had always considered proceeding at a slower pace than he meaning of his achievements, Reb himself as a mere agent, carrying out would have wished, the Mashgiach asked, Nasson was summoned to Heaven on the will of the Roshei Yeshiva. It was "Vos shloft men (Why are we sleeping)?" 2 Kislev, the Yahrzeit of Reb Aaron now as if he were coming to Reb Aaron Kolle/ International -which is con­ Kotler. and reporting to him: "Rosh Yeshiva, tinuing to fulfill the Mashgiach's dream Many understood that, in his I have fulfilled the mission you under the leadership of Rabbi Aryeh humility, the Mashgiach did not want assigned to me." Ill Malkiel Kotler and Rabbi Elya Ber Wachtfogel - has since started yet another kollel, in Tom's River, NJ.

The Dinner

or years, the Mashgiach had declined the Yeshiva's entreaties to Fbe the guest of honor at the annu­ al dinner in the New York Hilton. Final­ ly convinced that he was doing so not Full Service Comniunity Total Torah Community because he enjoyed the honor, but to help •Healthy Job Market • the Yeshiva that he so loved - Reb Nas­ •Affordable Housing •Bais Yakov son acquiesced. (Perhaps he knew what •Nurturing Community •Yeshiva Gedo la we did not know at the time.) •Learning Opportunities •Kollel The dinner was scheduled for Decem­ •Shomer Shabbos • ber 6. Reb Nasson passed away suddenly Medical Residencies • •Community Activities •Wisconsin School Tuition just two weeks earlier - on November 21. Vouchers For Qualifying Families It appears that Reb Nasson had it his way after all. The Torah Co111111unity of Rabbi Mic:ltel Twerski Invites Your Interests 1-800-226-3129

----·------·------··-···---·--- The Jewish Observer, April 1999 13 Matis Roberts The Elements of

Striking aBalance Between Humility and Self-Esteem

THE DEFEATING DILEMMA they tend to wither away - their lack not be comfortable with direct ego rein­ of self-esteem blocking many avenues of forcement. His efforts to build confi­ he young man before me was vis­ personal growth and achievement. It is dence will seem like indulgence in van­ ibly upset. "I just can't win!" he difficult to exert yourself when you don't ity, making him feel worse about Texclaimed. "Sometimes I feel so feel capable of succeeding. And it is hard himself, rather than better. inadequate, unable to cope with any to strive for excellence when you don't challenge. At other times, when I'm believe you can achieve it. Thus, many THE CLASSIC APPROACH more in control, I look down at those people have sacrificed their dreams, their who don't try to improve themselves. aspirations, and a great deal of their hap­ he classic approach to this dilem­ Isn't there a happy medium, where I can piness - because they lack the confi­ ma is based on one vital concept be confident without being conceited?" dence to do better. T-that awareness of one's assets is Unfortunately, his struggle with ego While each of these areas is hard to not in itself a vice. Vanity is not intel­ is not that unusual, and the happy medi­ deal with, navigating both at once is lectual; it is emotional - a feeling of um he seeks is not easily attained. On truly challenging. The classic weapon excessive pride over one's attributes or the one hand, our Sages teach us that against ga'ava is unflinching self-criti­ achievements. Like all emotions, it is egoism - ga' ava - is a loathsome char­ cism. One must note and acknowledge fostered not so much by what a person acter trait. The Almighty Himself, they his every flaw and limitation to free him­ knows as by what he focuses on. (If tell us, cannot tolerate the ba'al ga'ava; self from delusions of grandeur. But the knowledge alone could generate emo­ He refuses to coexist with him "under road to self-esteem seems to move in the tional results, our religious devotion one dome" (see Sota 4b, Sa). Encom­ opposite direction. The most effective would be on a much higher level.) passing such tendencies as arrogance, way for a person to build confidence is Mesillas Yesharim (ch. 11) defines ga' a­ haughtiness, and self-absorption, it is to focus upon his strengths and accom­ va as a person's attitude that"he is wor­ considered the worst of all character plishments. Noting his every achieve­ thy of praise:' Thus, someone who rec­ flaws ( Orchos Tzaddikim, prefuce to ment and taking pride in it brings out ognizes his virtues but does not take Sha'ar Haga'ava). Accordingly, our that reassuring feeling of"I'm okay; I can credit for them is not in danger of natural desire to feel good about our­ do it." becoming conceited. selves and proud of our achievements Thus, anyone whose self-confidence One can manage this by acknowl­ needs to be kept within limits. Left is at all fragile seems stuck in a spiritu­ edging the Almighty as the ultimate unchecked, it can lead to egoL'm and all al stalemate. As noted by Rabbi Shlo­ source of all his assets. With a little hon­ of its unpleasant consequences.And mo Wolbe N""""'1, he cannot make use esty and awareness, this is not very dif­ yet, people do need to feel good about of the classic pathways to humility, for ficult. If someone is clever or wise, it is themselves. And they do require some he is likely to crush his ego and destroy clearly not his doing but that of his Cre­ measure of personal pride. Without it, himself in the process. But if he dwells ator. Wealth and power, beauty and on his successes to bolster his confi­ charm, all of these qualities are largely Rabbi Roberts is the of Yeshi­ dence, he could become self-centered gifts from Above. By keeping this con­ va Shaar HaTorah of Queens. His essay, "Whis­ and egotistical. In addition, we have all stantly in mind, a person can develop per Above the Roar: Making the Case for Sub­ been taught from early childhood not his confidence without at all compro­ tlety," was featured in JO Apr. '98. to act conceited. A person so raised will mising his humility.

14 The Jewish Observer, April 1999 Although this "solution" is widely nature or fostered by his upbringing. The fled by Divine assistance. touted, its effectiveness is severely lim­ same applies to other helpful This understanding brings an added ited. A person's ego cannot soar very characteristics. A sense of idealism, the awareness - that such appreciation high on the wings of achievements for drive for excellence, a zealous nature - need not be limited to that specific which he deserves no credit. To devel­ all are products of outside influences. And prayer. Every personal victory - on op his self-respect, he needs to focus on they are all bestowed upon a person whatever level - is just cause for cele­ all that he's accomplished through his through one medium or another by the bration and thanksgiving. At the end of own efforts and persistence. And it is Grace of G-d. Furthermore, the Gemora each day, one may take a few moments precisely those achievements that are ( Succa 52b) tells us that one's evil to recall the day's successes, and to thank most likely to lead to ga'ava. Having sweated and struggled to achieve his goals, it is hard to view them as gratu­ Ill itous gifts. How, then, can he acknowl­ edge them properly without becoming "Sometimes I feel so inadequate, unable to vain or proud? cope with any challenge. At other times, GRATITUDE: THE BALANCED when I'm more in control, I look down at those PERSPECTIVE who don't try to improve themselves. Isn't there a here is a way, however, to tread the fine line between these two pit­ happy medium, where I can be confident without Tfalls. The Gemora ( Berachos being conceited?" 28b) instructs us to recite a short prayer of thanksgiving after we complete our Torah studies each day. That prayer reads as follows: I thank you, Hashem, my G-d, [for inclination assaults him anew every day, Hashem for helping bring them about. that which] you placed my lot among and without Hashem's help he would be Every hurdle overcome, every tempta­ those who sit in the Beis Hamidrash unable to defeat it. Thus, along with the tion resisted, every provocation endured and You did not place my lot among inner resources that promote one's with grace - all are sufficient grounds those who sit [idly] on street corners. spiritual efforts, he is supported from to turn heavenward and acknowledge For I arise and they arise: I arise for Above in those efforts themselves. wholeheartedly the aid one was given. words of Torah and they arise for Meanwhile, in thanking Hashem for worthless matters. I toil and they toil: FROM ACHIEVEMENT TO GRATITUDE ... his success, a person also notes that he I toil and receive reward and they toil TO SELF-EFFACING PRIDE succeeded. In acknowledging G-d's help and do not receive reward. I run and for his achievement, he also acknowl- they run: I run to [eternal] life in the o it turns out that one's every suc­ World-to-Come and they run to the pit cess and achievement is a joint of destruction. Sendeavor, attained through his While the thrust of this prayer is clear, efforts and Hashem's aid. And how those its wording is somewhat puzzling. First achievements affect him depends on we thank Hashem for including us which aspect he stresses. If he dwells among those who study Torah. Then we upon his share of the credit, it can eas­ go on to elaborate on how wonderful­ ily lead to vanity. But if he focuses ly we're fulfilling this mandate. "I arise! instead on the contributions from I toill I run to eternal reward!" Aren't Above, be will be moved to respond with we getting a bit carried away with our­ humble gratitude. selves? Isn't this really ga' ava, disguised With this we can understand our • MAxtMIZE Yorm Cff1to's Porrm!AL as gratitude to Hashem? daily prayer of thanksgiving. We thank • PRIVATE SESSIONS AVAILABLE ON All GliADE lEVEtS IN HEJJREW AND fN6l!Sff In truth, however, even personal Hashem for the opportunity to study • lEARNIN6 IN A FUN ATMOSPllERE achievements are not attained in a Torah. And we thank Him, as well, for • CLASSES l'ilVEN AFTETi SCllOOl vacuum; they are spawned by our efforts in so doing and the rewards • SEPARATE CLASSES FOR l'itRLS 6 BOYS 1notivation and nurtured by persistence. they bring us. Although we are the ones For More Information But where did those qualities come from? making those efforts, we express our Call Mrs. Schonfeld They were either inherent in one's recognition that they are heavily forti- (718) 3 76-5545

----·----· The Jewish Observer, April 1999 15 edges the achievement itself. Slowly but nation of healthy self-esteem and hum­ Ha'anava) explains that the essence of surely, he comes to recognize that he is ble gratitude to the Almighty. anava is pashtus- loosely translated as a person who succeeds, a person who simplicity. Every individual has a achieves - a person in whom he can DIGGING DEEPER: THE ESSENCE OF basic identity- a fundamental sense take pride. And he does so without ever TRUE HUMILITY of his essential being. That identity patting himself on the back for his share determines the scope of his ego and its of the credit. Since he does not focus enuine humility, however, is needs. The more extensively he defines on feelings of ga'ava, he does not gen­ more than just the absence of himself, the more he requires in order erate that type of response - only the Gga'ava. The Sages (Sota 4b-5a) to satisfy his ego. noble emotion of gratitude to Hashem; extol anava- humility- as the lofti­ Imagine a man who starts a small but he does lay aside the aimlessness and est of virtues. It is described, in fact, as business with one assistant to help him. despair that come with lack of confi­ an intrinsic virtue of the Almighty Him­ That assistant will be involved in every dence. In this manner, he brings him­ self. aspect of the business, from receiving self ever closer to a wholesome combi- Maharal (Nesivos Olam, Nesiv customers and making deliveries to sweeping the floors and fixing machines. The business prospers over the years, and the assistant works his way up. Now, he can not be asked to do the ATTENTION: Post High School & Seminary Young Women types of things he used to do. Instead of"Yankel, who helps Berel run the busi­ The Summer Seminar ness," he is now uYankel, Executive Vice President." Ifhe views that title as part sponsored by Seminar Yerushalayim of his identity, it creates a whole new set invites you to spend a most meaningful and inspiring three of requirements. His office, his activi­ weeks in Israel devoted to study and growth. Enjoy a program ties, and the way he is treated all must of carefully planned Shiurim, discussions, and activities, given reflect the stature and dignity of his new by outstanding Rabonim and related to the timely theme of: position. Similarly, the scope of a person's iden­ "D))\!J)1)) )P~ nY-in)J. ))N1il" tity determines how easily he is offend­ Show us, (Hashem), the Consolation of Zion and Jerusalem ed. Tell a professional athlete that he is not well coordinated and you have i1).,£1i1 )J.N:J ilVN.i11.,jJ!ln - e insulted him to the core of his being. )rnn7 1:m ~'POl n!l1pn 7'1! D'>'.lY\J1 m::i':i;i - e Tell it to an academician, and, even if he ~m::n n':JJ. - D'll ':1y nnN :.i':1 :1''1!'11 - e 1lN 1l'Y.l':.l ;ir.irnm p1m;i )'lY:.l Ol!ljJ'l!Ol mn''I! - e disagrees, it will have very little effect on Extensive guided tours throughout the land - e his emotions. For the athlete's physical and the Jerusalem area in conjunction with classes. prowess is a basic part of who he is and what makes him feel special; to the Dates: July 7 (\1Y.ln l":J) until July 26 (:.lN l"') scholar, it is at best an element of minor Place: Beautiful Dorm & Buildings of Seminar Yerushalayim satisfaction. Price: $1600* for three weeks, all-inclusive (room & board, The same applies to negative traits. all classes, and touring). Air-fare not included. Two people may be equally lacking in Staff: Rav Refoel Auerbach Mrs. Miriam Hoffman their diligence. One views himself as a Rav Asher Balanson '1:J'N n':i'lY.l lazy person; it is a part of his identity. Rav Yisroel Ganz Mrs. Chana R. Altusky As such, he feels trapped in his laziness. Rav Mordechai Neugershal n)J.fl i10') No matter how badly he wants to Renowned Speakers of Mrs. Chaya Weichleder change he will find it almost impossi­ D':J1Y Teshuva Movement 1i1.,Y'l.P 1£10 J11"1\J!li1 ble to do so. After all, a person can't change the essence of who he is. * Applications received by May I oth will receive a 10% reduction * Additional reduction for Seminar Yerushalayim graduates Accordingly, his laziness is sure to affect Phone or FAX direct to Israel 02-643-9303, FAX 02-642-2487 his self-esteem; how much pride can a US office: 718-633-0757, FAX 718-435-0115 person have if he - in his own mind MIRIAM HOFFMAN, COORDINATOR+ MRS. CHANNA FLAM, DIRECTOR - is incapable of industrious effort? The other sees himself as having a problem with laziness. It is not who he ~ is a lazy person; it is just one of the fac-

"------"------"--"--- 16 The Jewish Observer, April 1999 tors he has to contend with. If he is assess himself as he would assess others, other's needs and desires. determined to change, he will probably rather than from within the emotion­ One can achieve similar results by succeed. Hasn't life been filled with chal­ ally charged perspective of self. cultivating his relationship with lenges that he met and overcame? And Nevertheless, it is very difficult for a Hashem. Faith in G-d, as well as fear and his weakness does not generate feelings person to replace his self-absorption love of Him, are constant mitzvos, of inadequacy. After all, everyone has with a vacuum. It is much easier to applicable at all times and in all situa­ weaknesses, and everyone has challenges. focus away from himself ifhe directs his tions (see Beur Halacha to Orach Chaim It so happens that one of his challenges attention to others. When making a new 1:1). They are also effective ways of is to become more energetic. acquaintance, for example, he need turning one's attention outward. Clear­ Thus, the scope of a person's identi­ not dwell on the impression he would ly, then, there are ways for a person to ty defines both his vanity and his self like to make and whether he is making lessen his degree of involvement in his esteem. Any characteristics that he it. He could focus, instead, on what he ego. By so doing, he will slowly culti­ includes in his basic sense of self can can learn from that person and about vate within his soul the noble trait of cause him to swell with pride or shrink him, and how he can meet some of the genuine humility. II with inadequacy. Those that are not an integral part of who he is have very lit­ Mozeson1MaJinowski Adver1is'1ng (201) 801 ·0101 tle impact in either direction.

A SENSE OF SELF WITHOUT ADJECTIVES

rue anava is a sense of self that is stripped of all adjectives. It is an T identity of simplicity. One's essential being is contained in his name; it alone is the core of his individuality. st1c All of his attributes are tools that were given to him for a purpose. All of his weaknesses are either challenges for self­ improvement or limitations that help him define his goals. But they are all cir­ cumstances of his life, not a part of who Ii he is. Thus, none of them can affect the • core of his emotional being. They do not make him feel superior or inferior to anyone else. They do not confirm or raise questions about his basic worthi­ It hurts ness. They are simply facts of life, to be faced and dealt with along with all of the other situations he meets. Clearly, someone who achieves this r has reached a very lofty state, one that is beyond the normal dynamics of ego. But by recognizing the heights of humil­ o. ity, we can identify the path that leads to them. One does not achieve humil­ ity by thinking less of himself, but by The Shalom Task Force - 3: thinking of himself less. The less one ....., ~ Abuse Hotline is endorsed by dwells on who he is, what he is, and how ~ c.."' worthy he is, the better he will separate leading Orthodox Rabbonim. -t-. FO.,: the facts of his life from his basic iden­ tity - and the less his life will revolve Confidential Hotline 718 337 3700 Collect calls accepted. around his ego. Yes, self-awareness is Do it for yourself. necessary for serious growth. But a per­ son needs to maintain a distance - to Do it for your children.

The Jewish Observer, April 1999 17 Rabbi Avi Shafran

When the oddly shaped package arrived newspapers and word of less-than­ The multi-faceted An1 Echad project, in the mail, several of my colleagues at 84 friendly mouths - some, no doubt, of course, which was created by Rabbi William Street happened to be in my office. speaking stridently from pulpits. And so Moshe Sherer, 7''3t, and which I am priv­ I took the cylindrical 20-inch mailing con­ his first missive had been accusatory and ileged to direct in the United States, aims tainer in hand and looked at the return indignant in tone. All the same, though, to correct misconceptions and provide address. It was from Mr. Blue' , an older I realized from the start, he had both­ accurate information about Orthodox gentleman in Northern California with ered to write, and that says he cares. And Jews and Judaism to the wider Jewish whom I have been corresponding for sev­ so I had written him back in a friendly community on a broad communal eral months. tone, expressing the hurt rather than the scale. But there can never be any r. Blue, who had first contact­ anger that his words - a hodgepodge replacement for personal, "-to-Jew" ed me to take rather strong of common misconceptions and over­ outreach. M issue with something I had heard half-truths - had caused me. written in a national Jewish magazine, And so it was that our extended corre­ WE'VE GOT MAIL had never made a secret of his negative spondence began. feelings for Orthodox Jews and Ortho­ Now, many months later, Mr. Blue ver the course of the day, the dox Judaism. We argued back and forth still displays biases, misconstrues things bottle of wine on my desk got in letters over those months, he quot­ he reads and vents misplaced outrage in O me thinking about how impor­ ing news reports and enclosing press his letters; he may never fully accept my tant it is for those of us who endeavor clippings and I responding with protes­ point of view. Yet he has, I think, come to be observant Jews to interact with tations, corrections and explanations. to realize that Orthodox Jews are not the Jews who are not like ourselves. Cer­ "It's from someone not exactly shallow caricatures he once assumed, tainly there is security and safety in enamoured of us 'Ultras,' I told my that even if our deeply-held principles remaining exclusively among "our own:' friends with a laugh. After making a do not allow us to accept things like the For some, such an approach might even lame joke about the package ticking, I Reform or Conservative movements' be the proper one. But there are cer­ tore off the wrapping and unveiled a definitions of "conversion" (or, for that tainly many of us - and not just the two-piece Styrofoam container which, matter, of"Torah"), we nevertheless con­ "kiruv professionals," but simple Jews when taken apart, yielded ... a bottle of sider all Jews to be precious parts of the secure in our beliefu and attitudes -who fine kosher Cabernet. Jewish people. He has been forced to are able, and should be willing, to reach All of us smiled, and I put my slight­ concede, to boot, that we are real peo­ out to our less-observant or non-obser­ ly late gift on my desk, where it ple, people from whom he can elicit a vant Jewish neighbors, relatives, co­ stayed for most of the day, a reminder reasoned response, people with whom workers or casual acquaintances. of one Jew's gesture of good will toward he can have a good argument, people The bottle jogged a recent memory another - and a spur to thought. whose day he can brighten with a bot­ of another man, much younger than Mr. There are no Orthodox Jews where tle of wine. Blue, who had E-mailed his ire to Mr. Blue lives. He had formed his opin­ And even as he has, I hope, learned a another publication that had published ion of the Jewish religious heritage and bit from me; I know I have learned much an article of mine. The piece was a those dedicated to it from the only from him. Not only about the depth of straightforward defense of Israel's reli­ sources available to him: the pages of misconception that Jews "out there" gious status quo but had apparently trig­ Rabbi Shafran, a frequent contributor to The Jew­ harbor about the Orthodox world, but gered a latent but considerable hostili­ ish Observer, serves as the director of Am Echad also about how the deepest unreason and ty against in the activities in the United States. cynicism can sometimes be eroded by correspondent. The periodical's editor 1 Names have been changed. simple conversation and caring. forwarded the E-mail, along with its

18 The Jewish Observer, April 1999 address of origin, to me and I respond­ cussing the Orthodox attitude and I ed to the man's complaints, which, con­ can't just suddenly take your word sidering the ainount of misinformation • against all that I've been taught by my weighing on him, was not very difficult. he multi-faceted Am teachers." Following Shlomo Hamelech's advice and TEchod proiect aims to I was dumbfounded, and angry- at the example of my rabbeim and my those who had so polluted a Jewish heart mentors at Agudath Israel, I opted for correct misconceptions and - but could do nothing else but plead a "soft response" to "deflect anger." provide accurate with the young woman that she try to Within a matter of hours I heard back keep an open mind. She assured me she from the man. He apologized for the information about Orthodox would. tone of his first missive and recounted Jews and Judaism. After the conversation, I was hardly wrenching incidents from his youth in less agitated. I had only promised not to an Orthodox neighborhood, where he But there con never be any call her again, I told myself. There would­ felt looked-down-upon by his neighbors replacement for personal, n't be any harm in writing, would there? because, he assumed, his family was not At the start of my letter, I apologized observant. "Jew-to-Jew" outreach. for the second intrusion, and enclosed Whether those feelings were inspired several articles I thought might help by experience or imagination made (and demonstrate that while Orthodox Jews, makes) no difference, of course; they • like all principled people, might reject had brought him, decades earlier, to things - philosophies or ideas - we reject Judaism. And now, for the first n't concentrate, and so I picked up the most certainly do not reject other Jews time since, he had been forced to weigh phone and dialed information for the for their casual affiliations. I asked her those feelings against the evidence of an girl's New Jersey town. to weigh the sentiments in the materi­ interaction with a flesh-and-blood (or, There would probably be many list­ al that was enclosed against what her considering the medium, formats and ings for her last name, I told myself, too teachers had told her. bytes) Orthodox Jew who stubbornly many to sift through. "You might also try an experiment;' I insisted that they were brothers. That There was only one; I wrote it down. continued. "Go (with your parents, of declaration, my correspondent wrote, Taking a deep breath, I dialed the course) to any Orthodox - had meant much to him, and he number and asked for Michelle*. She pick an 'Ultra' one if you can - on a Fri­ requested a list of resources for learn­ came to the phone and, after apologiz­ day evening or Saturday morning and, ing more about his spiritual heritage. ing profusely for calling her out of the after services, ask anyone at rando1n if you blue and promising that I would not call and your folks - identify yourselves as THEY TEACH AND WE TEACH her again unless she asked me to, I spoke Reform Jews - can join his or her family my piece: for the Sabbath meal. You can imagine other memory, too, was con­ "G-d forbid! Orthodox Jews don't what to expect if your teachers are correct:' ured by the bottle of wine (and hate you! We may have serious dis­ I included my phone numbers and N ll this even before it was con­ agreements with the philosophy of the address, should she ever wish to talk fur­ sumed!) - of a letter to the editor of a movement with which your family is ther, but promised not to bother her any magazine published by the Reform affiliated. As you older and learn more - through any means. movement. The letter, written by a teen­ more, you will be able to evaluate I have not heard from her to date and aged girl, had apparently been inspired those concerns for yourself. But you and have so far kept my word. by an article in an earlier issue of the your family are precious Jewish broth­ periodical, in which a Reform rabbi had ers and sisters to us!" contended that Orthodox Jews have A pause, and then she responded. contempt for Jews who are not like "You sound like a nice person;' she themselves. "Why," wrote the young said, "but I'm sorry. I can't accept the woman, "when there is so much anti­ truth of what you're saying." Semitism in the world, must fellow Jews I was stunned. ((But why not?" I hate us as well?" asked. I was greatly agitated after reading the "Because I've been taught otherwise. Halachos and Hashkafos letter, deeply pained that anyone - not For years." of reciting Tehilim. to mention a "Jewish leader" - could "But what you've been taught simply 1 Free copy to Tehilim groups or $10 per individual copy. so outrageously slander other Jews and isn't true!" bring such needless anguish to an inno­ "That might be so, but we've spent Please write: Yeshiva Fund, Box 82, Staten Island. NY 10309 cent young Jewish soul. I simply could- many classes in my Temple school dis-

The Jewish Observer, April 1999 19 FUTURE SHOCK the Reforn1, Conservative and Recon­ number of returnees to our Mesora is structionist rabbinates in recent years. powerfully apparent in practically every multitude of scenarios has been And while "the Orthodox monopoly" Jewish community, and large multi-gen­ proposed for the American Jew­ (or, less partisanly put, democracy) in erational families whose matriarchs or Al sh future. If presenttrends con­ Israel will surely continue for some time patriarchs were raised in non-observant tinue, there is little doubt that the Ortho­ to serve as fodder for outraged Reform homes are no longer anomalies. We dox community will grow, i1"V:J, both in and Conservative ' sermons, the have come to know noted intellectuals size and its proportion of the entire Jew­ "pluralism" issue - which is, to non­ who were brought up in non-Orthodox ish community. What will happen, Orthodox activists, essentially a political movements - like David Klinghoffer though, to the larger American Jewish one in the end-will eventually fade once (the literary editor of National Review, world - to the Jews who affiliate with again into the background, perhaps as whose recent autobiography chronicled non-Orthodox movements or, like soon as the imminent Israeli elections. his movement to Jewish Orthodoxy) and most, with no movement at all? Either the Jewish State's religious parties Yonason Rosenblum (no stranger, of A sad scenario has the majority of will not, chas v'shalon1, retain sufficient course, to Jewish Observer readers) - such Jews falling prey to increased Knesset leverage to stand up to the activist who have squarely faced the fatal flaws assimilation and intermarriage, drifting in non-Orthodox philosophies and away, chas v'shalom, into Jewish obliv­ courageously followed the demands of ion. An insistent optimist, however, II their consciences. Is it unreasonable to someone weaned on miracles, might imagine large numbers of other honest, envision the future intensification of s it unreasonable to imagine caring Jews, who are at present unaware something that has already been expe­ Ilarge numbers of honest, of how distant their rabbis' beliefs and rienced on a relatively small but note­ ideals are from those of the historic Jew­ worthy scale over recent decades: the coring Jews, who ore at ish tradition, coming to follow similar ba'al teshuva movement. present unaware of how distant life-paths? The non-Orthodox philosophies, Reasonable or not, that must be our after all, are collapsing under the weight their rabbis' beliefs and ideals deep hope and our fervent prayer. - or perhaps better, weightlessness - of ore from those of the historic their unabashedly Zeitgeist-driven agen­ Jewish tradition? THE RIGHT ANSWER das. It is only a matter of time before large numbers of affiliated non-Orthodox nd as we hope and as we pray, we American Jews come to realize, as have II must be ready as well. Ready to their non-affiliated counterparts, that a A open our hearts and homes to quasi-Jewish patina is neither honest nor Israeli High Court, or, rn>~. they will. In our Jewish brothers and sisters, ready to necessary for the embrace of environ­ either event, though, the American Jew­ take the initiative and invite the neigh­ mentalism, feminism, the legitimization ish sectarian war cry may soon enough bor down the street for a Shabbos meal, of "alternative" lifestyles or any of the come to lose much of its resonance. the co-worker for a Purim seuda, the dis­ other grand causes that have motivated Should that indeed happen, a mam­ tant relative for a Yomtov. Ready to be moth vacuum could well begin to open sensitive to the subtle signals routinely up within the collective heart of Amer­ sent out in public places by not-readi­ Digest of Meforshim ican Jewry. From my perch, cracks ly-recognizable Jews - and ready to ')"1v7 in:i ')"1v7 already seem evident. The increase in the respond. Ready, too, to reach out even when the 7··yr ivv'm 'm1r.iw l";rmr.i signals are not blatantly forthcoming. Available at CHEVR.A OSEH CHESED Ready to listen with sympathetic LEKUTEI OE.AGUD.ATH lSR.AEL ears and empathetic hearts, and ready to clo Yitzchok Rosenberg share with others the Tornh we ourselves JO West 47th Street, Roo1n 503 New York. NY 10036 BURIAL PLOTS have been privileged to study and live by. (212) 719-1717 IN ERETZ YISROEL Ready to embrace ahavas Yisroel- not 20 Volumes on Torah, Perek, Medrash, Interment in a Shomer Shabbos Beis only as a holy ideal, but as a practical, Megilos and Talmud. Olam near Beis Shemesh pressing mandate. Proceeds of sales distributed atnong Ready, in other words, to have the Yeshivos and used for reprinting of Pkase pho~ -or UJ!ite to: right answer, with heartfelt smiles and volun1es out-of-print Chevra OsehChesed of A\!Udath Israel without a moment's hesitation, when PRICE: $8.00 PER VOLUME 84 William Street.New Jorb, NY 10038 Michelle and her parents approach us Pirkei Avos available (2 I 2)?9'1-9000 in shul. 1111

20 The Jewish Observer, April 1999 Yonason Rosenblum ''Or. Joe, We Owe You ... ''

REMEMBERING DR. JOSEPH KAMINETSKY 7"t

cross A1nerica) Torah-observant amidst a mood of prevailing gloom. tie more, were opposed. Jews asked themselves the same Half of the world's Jews had been Outside of the met­ Aquestion upon hearing that Dr. exterminated over a period of six years, ropolitan area, there were few cities in Joseph Kaminetsky had died: What and the great Torah centers of Europe which a critical mass of observant Jews would I be today if not for the Torah day were no more. In America, it was almost capable of supporting a day school exist­ school he initiated and nurtured in my universally assumed that Torah obser­ ed. For schools to be viable, it was nec­ community? vance and learning were relics of the essary to attract both students and sup­ Dr. Kaminetsky headed Torah Ume­ past. port from outside the Orthodox sorah, the Torah day school movement, The times were hardly propitious for community. In the first decades of the almost from its inception in 1945 until a movement of Jewish revival. First and day school movement, the vast major­ 1980. Reb , second generation Americans, just ity of students came from homes in '>"Yr, the founder of Torah Umesorah, beginning to enter the mainstream of which kashrus and Shabbos were not envisioned a day school in every Jewish American life, derided the idea of a Jew­ fully observed. community. Dr. Joe> as he was known ish day school as "undemocratic and un­ Yet somehow the day schools came throughout America, made that vision American,'' an affront to the ethos of the into being - more than ten a year in the a reality. American melting pot. Even many first 30 years of Torah Umesorah. In The day school movement began Orthodox rabbis, who realized a day each community where a day school was Yonason Rosenblum, who lives in Jerusalem, is school would destroy the congregational built, one enthusiast or a small group of a contributing editor to The Jewish Observer. His Hebrew schools, at which children enthusiasts gave themselves over com­ most recent article in JO was "The Israeli learned to read Hebrew well enough to pletely to the cause. Supreme Court Against De1nocracy," Mar. '99. recite for their parents and lit- Pure idealism sparked the revolution.

The Jewish Observer, April 1999 21 In just about every city, the day school ica. He was a fiery speaker capable of engraved in stone, as if they were the pre­ began with groups of yeshiva students infusing others with his enthusiasm. Yet ferred path, so that schools and com­ canvassing door to door to sign up stu­ he did not make himself a salesman for munities continued to grow spiritually. dents. When a new school floundered Torah; he had supreme confidence in the The self-sacrifice was unbelievable. in , a group of students power of Torah unembellished and Even when he returned to New York from from in Cleveland came unadorned to sell itself if children were another one of his Jong trips away from to teach there for two years without pay. only exposed. family, he was more likely to receive brick­ Each new school was its own mira­ In community after community, he a-bats than accolades from those who sat cle. But somehow one man was present sold the idea of a day school, cajoled comfortably on the sidelines while he at each of these miracles: Dr. Joseph reluctant parents into sending their chil­ built the future of American Judaism, and Kaminetsky. His doctorate from Colum­ dren, brought together rival factions in criticized him for the concessions to real­ bia Teachers College gave credibility to places far too small for any disunity if ity that had to be made. the entire day school movement. But far a school was to flourish, and convinced more important was his personality. He educators fearful of leaving the securi­ only knew Dr. Kaminetsky as an old loved people and could talk to anyone. ty of large Jewish centers that there was man. It is hard for me to make the He bridged all the worlds within the then a more important mission for them in I connection between the dynamic small American Orthodox world. And the Orthodox hinterlands. speaker on the old tapes and the elder­ the fact that he took his inspiration and Together with the great Roshei Yeshiv­ ly gentleman, with a perpetual half-smile his orders from Reb Shraga Feivel and as who set policy for Torah Umesorah, permanently etched on his lips, despite leading Roshei Yeshiva gave neshama and he negotiated the treacherous path the pain that was his constant com­ lasting success to his efforts. between the highest Torah ideals and the panion. Yet even in those years of phys­ realities in the field. "That's Honolulu;' ical decline, I witnessed a greatness that he enduring image of him is with became a slogan for the compromises serves as proof that his love of Torah far his travel bag draped over his that had to be made to bring a school into exceeded that of his critics. Tshoulder as he set off on anoth­ existence in far-flung communities. And Every morning, his neighbors er journey by bus or train across Amer- yet the compromises did not become watched him laboriously make his way from his ground-floor apartment to the r.------:-1 shul next door to be among the first to I arrive for the 6:30 a.m. minyan. A half ARE You MOVING? an hour there and a half an hour back. I No one who saw him struggling to and IS YOUR NAME AND ADDRESS PRINTED I fro will ever be able to justify his own INCORRECTLY ON THE JO MAILING LABEL? I tardiness or absence from minyan as eas­ We need your help to ensure proper delivery of the Jewish Observer to your home. ily again. Please attach current mailing label in the space below, or print clearly your address and I By 8:30, he was already on his way computer processing numbers that are printed above your name on the address label. I back to the Kolle! in which he learned with men a half a century or more I younger than he. Even when his face was I black and blue from another nocturnal Affix old label here I fall, or on one of those days when his mind was not so clear, his constant I refrain was, "I want to go to Kolle!." In I the last week of his life, he was still being Name ______~ I carried down the stairs in a wheelchair New Address ______into the Kolle!. I When Joe Kaminetsky undertook his City, I life mission, there were five or six day schools outside of New York City. State, ------~Zip I Today there are day schools in 200 com­ Date Effective ______I munities. The more than 160,000 chil­ Send address changes to: The Jewish Observer Change of Address I dren learning in American day schools 84 William Street, New York, NY 10038 and yeshivas today constitute Dr. Please allow 4-6 weeks for all changes to be reflected on your mailing labeL We will not be I Kaminetsky's enduring legacy- one that responsible for back issues missed unless you notify us 6 weeks prior to your move, I will not be forgotten as long as there is an American Jewry. • L------~ 22 The Jewish Observer, April 1999 Rabbi Hillel Goldberg

DR. JOSEPH KAMINETSKY A Personal Remembrance

am astounded as "Dr. Joe" sudden­ A future of intensive , They do not begin to convey the man, ly takes my hand and begins to a future that many of the leaders of his the salesman. l dance. What is this? I had heard he own time, especially in the I 940s and Dr. Kaminetsky could sell Jewish edu­ was so frail, so fragile - you know, this 1950s, demeaned as "unAmerican." cation not just because he believed in is one of those cases where you send the Some are still fighting Dr. Joseph it, understood it, or cared. He did not invitation as a courtesy. You never real­ Kaminetsky.. .. Most are filled with found scores of)ewish day schools on ly expect the person to show up. regret that they didn't listen sooner. these qualities alone. Still less, on these I didn't even know that Dr. Joseph qualities alone, did he persuade others Kaminetskywould hazard a trip in a car, f there are day schools in the Unit­ to give up potentially lucrative careers let alone enter a busy wedding and ed States today, it is due to Dr. Joseph to found hundreds more day schools. dance! Yet, here he is at our son's wed­ I Kaminetsky as much as to any indi­ The secret, his secret? Dr. Joseph ding in Jerusalem. Dr. Joe wouldn't miss vidual, living or dead. Kaminetsky convinced you that you it - just one more example of how he Dr. Kaminetsky, who passed away two were building the school, you were the reversed the natural order of creation. months ago in Jerusalem at 88, was the leader, you were the doer, you were The way he acted, I was his friend; the national director of the National Society making the sacrifice, you had the abil­ honor was his; the duty, his; the simcha, of Hebrew Day Schools, Torah Umesorah, ities. You were making the difference. his. This is how he worked with me; this during its early years of unimaginable dif­ In its most practical sense, Dr. is how he became the greatest salesman ficulties and phenomenal growth. He did Kaminetsky had no ego. in American . not conceive of the idea of the day school, He was polished and down-to-earth, His product was not a product; it was but he implemented it. all at once. He was persuasive and soft­ much tougher to sell than a product. A He was the perfect man, perhaps the sell, all at once. He had the unique abil­ product, one can touch, examine, eval­ only man, for the job. And the data only ity to be in the foreground and back­ uate. Is the price worth if? Is the quali­ begin to tell the story. ground, all at once. ty excellent? You can see a product and Back in the 1940s, there was virtually Now he is gone. It speaks volumes know. Dr. Joseph Kaminetsky was sell­ no American Jew who has learned in Tal­ for his humanity that what I miss most ing something you couldn't see, could­ mud, and who possessed a doctorate in is none of the above, but his simple n't evaluate. And the price? It was very education from an Ivy League universi­ smile, his sincere hello, his unaffected high! His product was the future. ty, and who earned the confidence of the enthusiasm, his personal warmth. Joe Not the biological one, not even a yeshiva deans of his time, and whose main Kaminetsky could be more than a general, vapid ('spiritual" future. goal in life was not to advance himself salesman; he could be a friend. But an educated future. One befit­ economically. "Dr. Joe" was an idealist. He could love you. ting the People of the Book. A future These are but the data, the cold facts. And we all loved him in return. • in which the standards ofJewish learn­ ing and scholarship would match those of all the glorious centuries past. A future that didn't say: This worked only in the "Old Country:' For careful attention to your Rabbi Hillel Goldberg is executive editor of Den­ individual needs, call us today! ver's Intermountain Jewish News and active in a "\'lide variety of outreach efforts, including the (914) 354-8445 1nikveh team of Torah Community Project

------·------~----·--- The Jewish Observer, April 1999 23 FROM CLASSIC SOURCES Rabbi Aaron Lopiansky SEFI AND WHAT IT COUNTS FOR

that process includes "counting," which are told is mainly attained through heav­ again raises the same point. We could enly endowment. Only a small degree of he forty nine days of Sefiras understand the Torah stating that a per­ kedusha is attained by human effort, while Ha' om er are correctly perceived as son must wait seven days before becom­ the overwhelming measure of kedusha is Tdays of preparation for Shavuos. ing tahor, and it would be incumbent on granted to the person who has made a This preparation may take many forms, the person to make an accurate count. modest effort to attain some kedusha. He each person utilizing it according to his But why is the act of counting elevated bases this on the Ghazal in Yoma (39) that needs or abilities. One of the better to significance in its own right? states: "A person sanctifies himself a lit­ known formats is the "forty-eight ways To illustrate the problem, let us con­ tle bit in the lower world and they then with which Torah is acquired;' which are sider a mitzva like . A lulav must sanctify him greatly from above." listed in the Mishna in Avos (VI, 6) with be three (or four) tefachim long. There­ This concept of kedusha begs the fol­ the forty-ninth day to be devoted to fore, a Jew who buys a lulav must metic­ lowing question: since Hashem created reviewing all of the "ways." ulously check its height. But it is this world toward the end that we attain But if we read the pesukim calling for impossible to imagine the Torah stating perfection through our own efforts, the Sefira count carefully, we do not find that "You shall measure the length of why include elements that are completely even a hint of doing anything during your lulavim"! out of reach for us? Certainly, there are those days. It is simply an act of count­ many high levels that we will attain in ing; no more, no less. Even more diffi­ II Olam Habba, yet no one feels that these cult to understand is the very need for should be listed in a work of mussar or the Torah to mention the act of count­ et us examine a very different avoda (ethics or Divine service); these are ing, giving it the status of a mitzva, when aspect of sefiras ha', which also G-d's gifts to us, not our achievements. it does not seem more than a necessary Lseems strange. The Torah states, The key to resolving the problem of the preparatory act for a different mitzva. "And you shall count from the day after avoda of kedusha lies in understanding For instance, Succos and Pesach are on the Shabbos ... until the morrow of the that there is another type of avoda, more the fifteenth day of their respective next Shabbos" (Vayikra 23, 15-16). The subtle but no less demanding. One can months. It is clear that we have to keep word" Shabbos" here has caused great dis­ suggest that although sanctification per a careful calendar from the first of the tress in the history of Kial Yisroel. The se is of Divine origin, man's duty is to month onwards to celebrate Succos Tzedukkim took the term literally to mean become aware and cognizant of it, and and Pesach in their proper times. Def­ "Sabbath;' while we have the oral tradi­ assuming that focus becomes his avoda. initely the people engaged in such a task tion that it means Pesach in the first state­ Let us offer an analogy from the are doing a worthy deed. But one would ment, Shavuos in the second. Why use human body: a person whose muscles not imagine that this count would a term that is obviously misleading? are weak or atrophied will find that exer­ become a full mitzva in its own right. Worse yet is the other time the word cising those muscles, progressively giv­ There is one other mitzva of<'count­ "Shabbos" is used, where it must mean ing them greater challenges, ultimately ing;' and that pertains to achieving "week" according to the oral tradition, strengthens them. There are, however, tahara (ritual purity) from conditions which is even more difficult to explain. other disorders, mostly neurological, that defile a person (, nidda). Part of where a system of biofeedback is instru­ III mental in regaining lost function. This Rabbi Lopiansky, author of Time Pieces, a col­ lection of essays on the Festivals serves as a con­ system does not strengthen a weak nerve tributing editor to The Jewish Observer and is Rosh o understand the essence of Sefi­ per se, but rather makes the person aware Beis in the Yeshiva of Greater Wash­ ra, it would be in place to exam­ of the latent abilities that he possesses. ington. This discussion, based on Reb Tzoddok ine the concept of" kedusha (sanc­ A person thereby can learn to control Hakohein's Machshovas Charutz (p. 41 ), is the first T tity)" and the means whereby one attains things like heartbeat, muscle activity, and of a projected series of essays adapted from clas­ sic sources in machshava and - Jewish it. The Ramchal devotes a chapter in even brainwaves. This system of thought and ideology. Mesillas Yesharim to kedusha, which we biofeedback is no less demanding or

24 The Jewish Observer, April 1999 grueling, but the effort is focused on stages. First, the person must become ation:' If nothing was created on Shab­ becon1ing conscious of a function, aware of the cessation of tuma (through bos, why shouldn't the week conclude on rather than improving it. hefsek tahara). Then he must become the sixth day, with Shabbos ushering the Thus, everything in this world is real­ fully attuned to the buildup of kedusha beginning of the next week? ly avoda. Every step of growth is an act that is taking place in himself, day-in Rashi compounds this problem by of human effort; there is no simply day-out; this, one can say) is accompa­ stating, "VVhat was the world missing? effortless road to securing an endowment. nied by the sefira of tahara that takes Rest. Shabbos arrived and rest descend­ But the effort divides itself into two broad place. The kedusha that purifies him is ed upon the world:' The cessation of categories. There is the effort of straight­ latent, but his efforts are focused on activity is simply the negative aspect of forward avoda, where a person "exercis­ becoming increasingly aware of it. work. How then can one say that it was es" his spiritual personality, works on his "missing;' when that something that was middos, does mitzvos in the face of hard­ v supplied was simply non-work? ships and thereby grows directly as a result In answer, we can suggest that man of his own efforts. Then there is a second !though Pesach is a Yam Tov, and functions in two modes - activity and level of avoda. It is a level too lofty to be s such requires a human act of awareness. A doctor in charge of an attained by hu1nan effort alone. It is iddush hachodesh, formally emergency room who is faced with a endowed by Hashem; but this does not declaring the first of the month that critically ill patient being wheeled in, mean that man is merely a passive recip­ innaugurates Pesach, its essence is still one becomes a flurry of action: measuring, ient. Rather, it is a type of avoda that of Divine endowment. Israel was not assessing, administering, barking orders, places its demand on man to focus on it, worthy of redemption; yet Hashem operating, stitching, etc. When, and only become aware of its profundity, and be redeemed them because Divine wisdom when, he has finished the last activity, changed by its impact. 1 and Divine mercy dictated that the time does he comprehend and absorb what The pasuk (Shemos 31, 13) describ­ had come for their redemption. In that has taken place: the life in jeopardy, the ing Shabbos's impact states: "Lada' as ki sense, Pesa ch is more similar to" Shabbos;' pending tragedy for the family, the pain, Ani Hashem mekadeshchem- to become which is Divinely ordained, with man but the various steps taken to ameliorate the cognizant of the fact that I G-d am the a recipient for that which Hashem has crisis. This comprehension and inte­ one who sanctifies you." 2 Hashem bestowed upon him, than it is to other fes­ gration of the experience is the mean­ bestows Shabbos upon us (in contrast to tivals. It is in this vein that Pesach is called ing of va'yinafash, which comes from the Yorn Tov, which we consecrate), but it a Shabbos. In substance, it marks a G-d­ word nefesh, meaning soul or spirit. For is incumbent on us to appreciate it. granted endowment of kedusha, with as long as man is in his body mode, the man's avoda centered on becoming pro­ soul is a back-seat player. Only when IV foundly aware of the change that is hap­ he has concluded his actions does he pening within him. Just as in regard to begin to comprehend what was taking here are many ways of purifying Shabbos it says, "Lada' as ki Ani Hashem place, what has been achieved. oneself from defilement. Usual­ mekadeshchem;' so too is the reaction to Thus the six days of work are the Tly they involve an act of self­ the kedusha of Pesa ch meant to be the fos­ work component of creation; but that cleansing accompanied by teshuva, such tering of the awareness of kedusha. This cannot constitute the entirety of cre­ as immersing oneself in the ntikva, is why Pesach is referred to as" Shabbos' ation. The world was created so that bringing a , being sprayed with in the pasuk. man become cognizant of the world. It special waters, etc. But for many of the is for that purpose that we have a sev­ "tumos hayotze min haguf (impurities VI enth day- not a day of activity- which that emanate from a person's body)" we is a most vital part of creation. have the act of sefira. The reason is that his approach not only clarifies the In the days of Sefira, we magnify this these defilements reveal to the person purpose of counting, but also awareness many times. We count six that within his very self there lies a fes­ Tsheds light on the number used days in the process - becoming aware tering pool of unc1eanness. for the counting system) just as every of the meaning of Divine Revelation, of It would be insufficient to treat such mitzva of counting - whether for the the depth of neshama ... until we reach a tuma with some external administra­ purpose of purity, Sefira or Yovel - is a Shabbos of that series of days. When tion. This process takes place in two based on the number seven. man has repeated this process seven The number seven obviously relates times, exponentially broadening his I Compare with ·~ '!:I i1"-i r-i:J ;n·.r-1 that wheras to the seven days of the week of creation. understanding, then he is ready for the kavana may be optional in mitzvos, awareness of In this unit of Creation called "a week;' ultimate comprehension - Torah itself. the act as a mitzva is absolutely necessary. 2 See Rashi there, who interprets the pasuk dif­ the role of Shabbos seems puzzling. On Thus do the seven weeks of Sefira ferently, but see the Gemora and Rashi in Beitza the one hand, we refer to "six days of bring us to the threshold of Shavuos, the 16b. work" in contrast to "seven days of ere- day of Receiving the Torah. Bl

------·-----·-·----·-----·--- The Jewish Observer, April 1999 25 .... Baruch Leff Shavuos Odyssey A Search for the Leitmotif of the Spring Festival

Harvesting w/!eat, woodcut 1805 11111 havuos can certainly I never thought I would do it. I was a be understood to be any particular mention that this should yeshiva bachur, and my Torah study on S take place on Shavuos. Shavuos night was the most intensive of the more significant, more year. Then someone casually mentioned to me that he was planning to recite the inspirational than the A Question of Focus "Tikkun Lay! Shavuos." I had never heard of it before and certainly was not going to other Yamim Tovim. here is a common misconception consider actually saying it. (Tikkun is a col­ The others derive their concerning Sbavuos that should lection of selected pesukim from all sefarim Tbe addressed. If you were to ask of Tanach, as well as Mishnayos from all validity, both legal and someone to explain what the focus of mesechtos in . A listing of Taryag Shavuos is, no doubt he or she would Mitzvos is also included.) "Shavuos is for spiritual, from the giving tell you that the emphasis is on talmud learning," I thought to myself, "and I was­ Torah, the mitzva of studying Torah. n't about to squander it on the Tikkun." of the Torah, which While this may be true if measured by Then the unthinkable happened. a standard of the time we spend the occurred on Shavuos. entire Shavuos night studying Torah, it No Central Mitzva Why then must we is nonetheless somewhat inaccurate. The Torah's understanding of how we struggle to find mark Yamim Tovim is fundamentally ne year I stumbled upon a sefer different from non-. called Tikkun Layl Shavuos, by meaning and growth Non-Jews commemorate events, while 0 Rabbi Yaakov Weingarten. One Jews re-experience them. Every Yorn Tov insight led to another until I understood from Shavuos? is an opportunity for growth because the something about the Yam Tov of Shavu­ Yam Tov is infused with spiritual forces os that I had never realized before: 11111 that were unleashed due to a historical Pesach has its Seder. Purim has its rational than the other Yamim Tovim. event (see Rabbi Dessler's Michtav Megilla. Chanuka has its Menora. Suc­ The others derive their validity, both Me'Eliyahu II p. 21 for an elaboration cos has its succa. Shavuos, however, legal and spiritual, from the giving of the of this concept). Since the Jewish Peo­ seems to be a holiday quite barren of Torah, which occurred on Shavuos. ple received and accepted the Torah on mitzvos. True, many have a custom to Why then must we struggle to find Shavuos, on every subsequent Shavuos remain awake the entire night studying meaning and growth from Shavuos? we accept the Torah anew and, as Torah on Shavuos, but this is merely a Beyond the special sacrifices brought on Rabbi Dessler writes (ibid. p. 40), we custom. The Torah does not prescribe the Yorn Tov, why shouldn't the Torah must find ways in our personal service any particular directive to be per­ assist us, as it characteristically does, by of Hashem to strengthen our commit­ formed on Shavuos. This unique aspect requiring a mitzva of some kind that ment to the Torah on Shavuos. of Shavuos, in contrast to the other wonld call to mind Ma'amad Har Sinai? What, then, is the focus of Shavuos? Yamim Tovim, is extremely surprising. VVhy isn't there a mitzva to recount the It would seem that the focus should be Shavuos can certainly be under­ experience at Sinai, similar to the mitz­ on establishing our connection to stood to be more significant, more inspi- va on Pesach of telling about the Exo­ 1orah. Torah is one of the four items dus from Egypt? Although the Torah that are in need of constant chizuk, rein­ Rabbi Leff is a member of the Community Kol­ le! of Cincinnati. This is his first appearance in commands us to remember the event of forcement (see Berachos 32b ), but it is these pages. Sinai (Devarim 4, 9-10), we do not find on Shavuos when this chiznk takes on

26 The Jewish Observer, April 1999 added importance. As Ohr Gedalyahu­ Mo'adirn writes (p. 160): ''.A person must HAT PLUS prepare for the awesome spiritual light Hats • Shirts • Ties •Accessories that is present on Shavuos:' On p. 166, he adds, "Every year the Torah is given Your#l Stop anew on Shavuos and we must be ready for to receive it:' The emphasis is on gen­ Quality Hats 2 Bedroom suite with kitchenette and eral Torah acceptance, not just the living room at Lev Yerushalayim. WE ALSO DRY CLEAN LARGEST SELECTION beauty and the study of Torah. & RESHAPE HATS OF CHOSONIM TIES IN Sleeps 7. Perhaps it is for this reason that the (All work done on premises) BROOKLYN Available directly from owner. Torah does not prescribe a specific rnitz­ 1368 Coney Island Avenue July 12, ·99 through July 28, '99 va for Shavuos. On other Yarnirn (718) 377-5050 (718) 854-1944 Tovirn, the Torah gives specific directions Major credit cards accepted• We ship UPS both in the letter and the spirit of the laws intended for that Yam Tov. At times, one can "get lost" in the perfor­ mance of the mitzva and fail to achieve You can! Just: call significant general growth due to a lack ''1 wish I could The Yit:t:i Leibel of focus on the essential meaning of the Helpline. Yorn Tov. The Torah accounts for this, HOURS.: but for most Yamim Tovim allows the speak to a Monday-Friday ...... 8am -12pm fulfillment of a mitzva to suffice. Monday-Thursday ...... 8pm -11 pm On Shavuos, however, the Torah Sunday ...... 9am · l 2pm, 9pm • 11 pm does not want us to become "distract­ frum therapist Extra hours Sat. night ...... 7pm · 9pm ed" by the performance of any specific 718-HELP-NOW mitzva. As Rabbi Samson Raphael (718)435"7669 Hirsch writes (Horeb p. 98), "Shavuos onthe phone [. Chicago ...... (800) HELP-023 represents purely spiritual matters, and Lakewood ...... (732) 363-1010 therefore has no rnitzva-symbol of its Clevcland ...... (888) 209-8079 own, no outward expression in action without giving ' ...... (410) 578-1111 of its significance." The giving of the Morris, Union, Essex & Middlesex counties in NJ ...... (877) 4-LEIBEL Torah is far too powerful to enable any expression of mitzva through physical .my name.'' For addiction problems call our addiction therapist, Wednesdays 11 :30pm to I :30arn action to be meaningful. The Torah encompasses all mitzvos. No one par­ ticular mitzva could suffice. A specific mitzva obligation would actually LS TYPE OF CAR OR SIMILAR 12 APR. 99 detract; not enhance. 14 JUL. 99 And so this yeshiva bachur decided to _fl~I!'UNTQJ.Q_~:_ !_2~ devote some time on Shavuos night (on CITROENSAXO __1_~.?'.: ... counsel fi"om Rebbe'im) to the Tikkun - c J>AIHAj~ii"C!!_~RADE P~~.:__ 1.T.s f~' ~~Y~EOT3.~---····-~- -~-~?. appreciating how it allows for an expression C FORDESCORTP.SIDAlllATSUAPPUUSE 238 ofShavuos in the way that has been discussed CD ·-c1TRoEN'XSARA-DiseL -- --~-~~­ N- -KIAB~~~-S~i:S---·- 4-~-~ here. Hard-nose study of Torah is impor­ MINIBUS 10 SEATS 490 tant, but Shavuos is about connecting and committing oneself to all aspects of Torah. _E_ -~~-~- Tikkun or no Tikkun, our study of _..f • Ntl!SAN Al,_M'.~~ "'.?:~~--- G 'KIASEPHIA1.8 ~1~_ Torah on Shavuos must be a reflection K"' ~· GMC 7Q:O SAVANA ···-·--- . FR.EE.* <>.,,,.., dl-y :x- ~_ue-AAu LE~~~y1:a----- ~;-9 c:::..a.r hir~ fc:>r ~..a.C::.h of the depth of our appreciation of and .-.igh"t sp«!!'!ra't .a:t X_L:, _'.__M~_~OA 626______,______38~--- EL~A.N HC>TEL commitment to Kabba/as HaTorah. SX 'CHEVAOLETMALIBU 6~~- KX .--MAZoA· MPY--______763 )ER.USA.LEN!!. Only then will we have fulfilled the ·valld t"ill 24.3.99 / 12.4.99-14.7.99 vx ..; voiVlf9407C-HEV:LUM1N·;t\' 693- .-~.... a c-..- Exoel. 1 .... s. maxim, "If you have experienced a Yorn J. -.-LANo.ROVER-DiScoveRY -·9a0 USA &CANADA Tov and haven't profoundly changed as •POWER STEERING & ELECTRIC WINDOWS Toll Free: (11 800-938-5000 Price per week in US $ Tel in NY: 21 2-629-6090 a result, you've missed the point of the UNLllVll"'TEC> IVllLE.A.c;;.E Yorn Tov!" • EXC::. INS. http:/ /www.eldan.co.il/

-----·-----·------··---~--·------The Jewish Observer, April 1999 27 INFORMATION You CAN Pur TO USE Rabbi Tzvi Black

Caught In the Net, by Dr. Kimberly S. more than 2.6 million independent sites. II. A PARAPHRASED SYNOPSIS Young, John Wiley and Sons, New York These numbers are increasing rapidly. City, $22.95 • It took radio thirty years to reach n her book, marriage partners fifty million people, while TV needed describe patterns of secrecy and lies, I. INTRODUCTION only thirteen years. The Internet did it I arguments and broken agreements, in only four years. often culminating in a mate running off he Internet is a man-made won­ • Traffic on the net doubles every one­ to live with someone he/she knew only der. It enables computers that are hundred days. through the Internet. Parents tell sad sto­ Tgeographically dispersed to Our culture bombards us with mes­ ries of children who went from straight rapidly obtain data and services from sages that urges everyone to embrace this Xs to the brink of failure after discov­ each other at relatively low cost. For less new tool. We're assured that it will only ering chat rooms and interactive games than a dollar a day, a person with a com­ improve and enrich our lives. that kept them up all night. People puter in Brooklyn can see a page or School administrators and politi­ lament over a friends total loss of obtain services from a computer in Aus­ cians, eager to demonstrate their aggres­ interest in once-treasured hobbies, tralia, New Zealand, almost anywhere. sive support of education, tout the Inter­ movies, parties, visiting, talking over This is taking contemporary society net as a primary educational tool for dinner, or almost anything else in what by storm. children. The following definitions are the excessive Internet user would call RL, • So far, over 57 million Americans almost as basic as the three R's: or Real Life. are on line, out of a population of 270 • Computers equal progress. Dr. Young provides pragmatic, self­ million. •The Internet equals the cutting edge help suggestions for recovery. She pro­ • The worldwide web contains over of progress. vides for the mental health profession­ 300 million pages that are subject to This affair with the worldwide web al many insights into the nature and change at any time. They are hosted by is the product of a social and cultural causes of this affliction. She notes that Rabbi Tzvi Black, a musmach of Yeshiva Ner Israel evolution whose engine is fueled most­ many of her colleagues don't even of Baltimore, lives in Lakewood NJ. He holds a ly by passion and self-interest. It is an know how the Internet works, so it's dif­ masters degree in computer science and works engine with few restraints. ficult for them to understand what as a computer scientist for the US Government. Dr. Kimberly Young is a psychologist makes this technology so intoxicating or He is also an adjunct faculty member of Ocean County College and is a computer consultant. He whose specialty is Internet additcion. Her how to help someone manage its usage. manages JewishAmerica, a Kiruv Rechokim web book is a somber collection of insights For the uninformed, its easy to dismiss site that seeks to present "the vibrance of Torah and experiences that expose the dark side the idea of Internet addiction. At every I traditional Jewish life." He is also the point of of Cyberspace. It is a log of what can and lecture she can count on at least one contact for the Coalition For Jewish Internet Out­ reach, an organization that seeks to improve the has happened to members of a society skeptic to say, "No one can possibly get effectiveness of Kiruv sites. that doesn't always look before it leaps. addicted to a machine."

------28 The Jewish Observer, April 1999 When you consider the entire world­ scheduled at regular intervals, time phone numbers in exchange for gifts of wide web population, she acknowledges seems to stand still for a person that is T-shirts and CD players. In turn, many that her examples of abuse represent an on the Internet. companies sell the names to others, leav­ extreme. Many people are turning to the Many abusers suffer from sleep ing data on these cybertots circulating Internet for useful purposes without get­ exhaustion. This takes its toll on health, throughout the unregulated web. ting hooked - so far, anyway. grades, employment, marriage, and/or "Cyberspace is like a giant city with no However, experience has shown her family. (Dr. Young has yet to include police force;' laments a police officer in that the progression from casual and prayer and Torah study.) Lancaster, Pennsylvania. The Internet's appropriate usage to a time-consuming Of the numerous problems cited, a interactive features plunk children down annoyance, to a disturbing obsession, to task force on electronic commerce in the middle of steamy streets that con­ extreme, disruptive, and dangerous appointed by President Clinton revealed tain thousands of strangers who may, at behavior moves swiftly and almost that businesses advertising on the web any click of the mouse, entice them into invisibly. routinely lure children into volunteer­ looking at dirty pictures, invite them to Her initial user survey on Internet ing their real names, addresses, and private meetings, forward their personal abuse included the following question: "Do you continue to use the Internet excessively despite significant problems it may be causing in your real life?" A shocking sixty-eight percent of the respondents said yes. The most striking reason for this response was that obses­ sive Internet users innocently and hon­ estly believe their Net-related problems are only temporary. After all, the problems just arrived in their lives. They therefore assume that the problems will leave as quickly as they came on. So, if grades shoot down in one semester, they can vault back up next semester with just a little adjustment of Net habits. If a boss gets suspicious about wanderings down the information super-highway this week, the employ­ ee will cool it a bit and be back in her/his good graces by next week. If a surfer looses sleep now, he/she can catch up on the weekend. If a husband complains about on-line flirting today, he'll find something new to complain about tomorrow. Bringing the Internet into a home requires a family to define or make ref­ erence to its standards of safety. A home that is based on the Torah and its stan­ dards has little tolerance for risk, espe­ • Personal Counseling • Medical Referral cially of the above nature. • Crisis Intervention • Emergency II~~ . Advice and Segulohs u·n!n.i~) Medical Funds Dr. Young's Findings. •Prayer Hotline to Jerusalem

e find that 97% of the respondents to her survey W reported that they found themselves spending longer periods of time on-line than they intended. Unlike 1469 42nd Stree~ Brooklyn, N.Y. 11219 · - Tel. (718) 436-0666 • Fax. (718) 972-2787 TV, with programs and commercials -----~-

The Jewish Observer, April 1999 29 information throughout cyberspace, or rate at Alfred University more than dou­ surfing on the Internet for non-business even urge them to run away from bled. Provost W. Richard Ott saw no log­ purposes is undermining their employ­ home. ical explanation why so many students ees' effectiveness on the job. One major In a survey reported by USA Today, who arrived in college with SAT scores company tracked all traffic going across eighty-six percent of the responding of 1,200 or higher were failing so the net and discovered that only twen­ teachers, librarians, and computer coor­ quickly. An in-house survey revealed that ty-three percent of the usage was busi­ dinators believe that Internet usage by forty-three percent of these dropouts ness-related. children does NOT improve classroom had been staying up late at night logged There are hundreds of Internet sites performance. onto the Internet, spending sixty hours that provide their visitors with interac­ Many colleges provide their stu­ or more on-line each week. tive games, each with its own theme. dents with unlimited access to the A survey of one-hundred-fifty exec­ They are highly addictive. A successful Internet. By doing so, they are becom­ utives from the nation's top 1,000 com­ game player writes that they "are like a ing major breeding grounds for Inter­ panies revealed that fifty-five percent of religion to me and I am a god out there. net addiction. For example, the dropout all managers believe that the time spent I am respected. I know that I am play­ ing against other highly intelligent peo­ ple, and developing the winning strate­ gies and getting stronger at the game Subscribe or gi,ve a gi,ft of gives me a great high:' Unfortunately, the increased self-esteem does not translate itself into better feelings when the The Jewish Observer computer is turned off. Furthermore, the violence in many of these games brings out buried emotions that can and have and $ave! come to action. WHY NOT GIVE OR GET A PRESENT ... And The Children THAT WILL LAST AN ENTIRE YEAR? n her book, The Plug-In Drug, Subscribe, or give a gift at these reduced prices Marie Winn, who studied TV use and The Jewish Observer- filled with the views I among children, points out: "In its of leading Torah thinkers on current issues- will be facilitation of parental withdrawal from delivered each month, directly to your door. an active role in socialization of their children, and in its replacement of The longer you subscribe for, the larger your savings. family rituals and special events, televi­ Of course, this offer is unconditionally guaranteed; sion has played an important role in the you may cancel at any time and receive a refund for disintegration of the family." Rather than all undelivered copies. becoming the technological savior of our times, the Internet just might be emerg­ So order today, and the very next issue will be on ing as the addiction of the millennium, its way to you as soon as possible. surpassing even TV with its pervasive grip on minds and souls. J.O. SUBSCRIP'l'l(lN SAVINCiS (:ERTII'JCATF. For some people, the Internet has 0 YES, I want to take advantage of this money saving offer! Enter 1ny order as follows: become a form of escape that allows 0 NE\X1 SUBSCRIITJON 0 HENF:W'AL 0 GJ:FT them to temporarily forget their prob­ lM

()NU' rs~ Addtt>ss lems. However, when they finally log off, 0 3yea~ Cover Price $10.S Your cost $60 $% the real-life problems return and they're 0 2 years Cover Price S70 Your cost $44 $68 even harder to endure. Depression 01 ear Cover Price 835 Your cost $24 $36 deepens, loneliness intensifies, and OSt'nd p:ih \'anl from: ______there's the added burden of guilt for 0 Endo~ed: $ ____ "' neglecting spouse, family, academic Charf!;e my: 0 Maslt•rCard 0 VISA goals, or employer. This propels the per­ SuitP 1200, 84 William Street, Nf'w York. NY 10038 1iw ]ewCr dclit'fl)'· Expiration Date: (monlh/year) _____ for even longer periods of time - to find ~outside U.S.A. priee reOn·ts $12 rxtra per y<·ar to defray air ohipJ>ing '""t'. Foreipl pnymen\ rnus! br madt> in U.S. dolJa,-,., ridwr by <'l1"ck Sip:nature ______a panacea for the awakened painful feel­ drawn on a bank in lhr li.S.A. or by HSA or ~la•lcrCanl ings and to chase after the "high" they

30 The Jewish Observer, April 1999 remembered from the last walk through • gists, again well-meaning and frum, a chat room or a news group. n a survey reported by claim to have products that filter out The Internet provides a faceless objectionable material. They have also community, offering the illusion of IUSA Today, eighty-six been seeking endorsements. companionship without the demands of Those who require the the Internet friendship. Many people enjoy bypass­ percent of the for business should avail themselves of ing the real effort it takes in real life to responding teachers, whatever protection these products form a connection with another person provide. However, Internet for home and keep it going for a significant time. librarians, and and family usage is a different matter. They thrive in the pinball-like envi­ I advise family heads to disregard over­ ronment of bouncing from one computer coordinators stated marketing claims. A "Safe and encounter to the next, without having Kosher Internet" is a misnomer. The Inter­ to reveal themselves fully in the begin­ believe that Internet net is too huge and volatile, the tech­ ning or stopping to say goodbye when usage by children does nologies are too complex and they change they leave. In Dr. Young's words, "The rapidly. Give the child a computer with Internet can and has become a form of NOT improve modem, a bit of determination, a friend escape from the hard work of being a that is with it, and parents that are not human." classroom performance. highly knowledgeable about computers Given the above, can one afford the and he/she will be on-line in no time. risks associated with bringing the Inter­ There is a growing usage of the Inter­ net into a home? Dr. Young is either • net for common financial transactions. unwilling or unable to banish the Ill. A PERSPECTIVE However, a very significant percentage Internet from the home. In her view, of our population is computer-shy and doing so deprives children and their ithout a doubt, the Internet is computer-less. It will take at least one parents of opportunities for new and "good for consumption, lifetime before Western civilization ceas­ exciting experiences. Not having the W charming to the eyes, alluring es to accommodate these people. Yes, Internet in the home naively suggests to make wise:' If you look carefully those without on-line connectivity will that children can be shielded from the around, you will see that it's seeking a probably get surcharged a bit for mak­ temptations of the Internet indefinite­ foothold in our community. ing the bill-collectors do their data entry. ly, which is akin to believing that a child Prominent organizations and leaders I guestimate this to be a hundred dollars can be protected from all threats of are being petitioned to provide an each year. However, this is far less than drugs and violence in our schools and endorsement for a well-meaning (and what the net-connected home will have streets. frum) Internet service provider who fil­ to pay for the connection, the software, ters out much (but not all) of the objec­ the hardware, and the aggravation when A Review tionable material. Computer technolo- something doesn't work.

r. Young is not ready to say no to children because she is not Dready to say no to their parents. She comes from a culture that is reluc­ tant to impose safeguards. She is not trained in the adage: "Tell the bee that we don't want your sting and we don't want your honey.'' The many anecdotes in her book bears grim testimony to the conse­ Book a B category car in Israel and get a free double upgrade quences of this approach. to a Diesel car in category D, saving l4l to 70% Of your retuemng costs. The book provides some detail on For further detlllls and reservations please contact: abuse that is not for unrestricted fam­ Budget Israel Fax: 972-3-6389992 ily reading. Given our sensitivities, some sections need to be lightly Email: [email protected] skimmed, if not skipped altogether. Nev­ USA: 800-4723325 Canada: 800-2688900 ertheless, it is an excellent resource for Offer is valid till June 30th '99 excluding 22.3-11.4.99 policy makers, providing balance against the press for the Net. *Based on minimum 7 days rental of car category A, excluding insurance. Quote tariff code OHi.

The Jewish Observer, April 1999 31 I have heard concern for meeting the * The family computer should be sit­ software that can be used to surf the needs of those who need the Internet for uated in an open area. web, such as a browser. Instead, use soft­ business. This is frequently mentioned as * Phone systems should be installed ware that only provides e-mail support, a cause for the endorsement seekers. Given in a way that a parent or spouse knows such as Eudora. that the Internet is hazardous, I suggest when the lines are in use. that this be taken into another context. * Software should not be installed Beyond The Home There are many professions that peo­ without a parent's knowledge and per­ ple are going into, one being that of a pro­ mission. he issues go beyond the home. Do fessional exterminator. Exterminators A number of families have a com­ we adopt approaches on a com­ handle hazardous material and there is puter with a modem but it is only used Tmunal scale that discourage Inter­ great concern for the long-term effects on to access electronic mail services. I am net usage for the home? For example: their health. Should our leaders get not in a position to endorse or to dis­ *Should public notices or charts that involved with endorsing ways for exter­ courage this practice. However, the fol­ containing a web site address be dis­ minators to handle pesticides? Shall they lowing must be kept in mind. played in our communal institutions? give endorsements to certain brands? Or, * Software for full Internet access is For existing charts on display, perhaps should they refer people to professionals readily available for this system. the address should be covered up. in health and environment? * E-mail addresses are frequently (Note: A web site address typically Why is the Internet any different? I.et sold, especially by companies that pro­ begins with http:// such as business people seek advice from com­ vide free e-mail services. These compa­ http://www.ibm.com. Many follow with puter professionals. nies harvest the addresses of the sender www, which stands for world wide web. I see no relative benefit from Torah­ and the addressee. This means that sub­ Therefore, www.ibm.com would also based endorsements of Internet services scribers and their correspondents are imply a web site. An e-mail address has and products. Unlike an endorsement for subject to receive junk mail of all types, an @ symbol in it, such as black@Jew­ a product or a service, they can become including the most shocking and objec­ ishAmerica.com) an endorsement for a lifestyle. tionable solicitations. * Should a Torah-oriented newspa­ Furthermore, the promoters of kosher Therefore, if there is e-mail in the per display advertisements for Internet Internet usage in the Torah home have yet home: services? A full-page ad recently ran for to address the problems associated with * E-mail must be managed and a telecommunications company. It con­ addiction. They can't. monitored by parents. tained the following on the bottom: T­ * Passwords should not be disclosed l and Internet Services. (Note: A T-1 line IV. SUGGESTED GUIDELINES to children. is an expensive but high-speed connec­ *Objectionable e-mail must be fully tion to the Internet.) Should it have said: any families are purchasing deleted, not moved to an area where it T-1 and Commercial Internet Services? home computers for which I can be later retrieved. Should an alternate wording have been Msuggest the following guidelines: *When accessing e-mail, avoid using used that does not mention the Inter­ net, such as Commercial Connectivi­ ty/Commerce Services? Task Force on Families and Children at Risk * Should having free access to the is honored to once again present Internet in a home be used as a criteri­ 11 on for disqualifying admission to a HARAV N t>'?~ Torah-intensive school? For every Rosh Ha Yeshiva, Talmudical Yeshiva of Philadelphia school? For every type of family? * Is now the time for our social and family support organizations to list Inter­ SHOLOM BA YIS II net addiction among the afflictions that they service? Would this not serve to raise Introduction by Rabbi Yisroel Reisman with Unique within our community an awareness of Panel Discussion and Question/Answer Period to Follow the hazards? Perhaps this may save more than one person or an entire family. Thursday, May 6, 1999-8:00 P.M. Sources of necessary information, Agudath Israel of Madison enrichment, and relaxation other than 2120 Avenue S •Brooklyn, New York that which the Internet provides are read­ Free Admission Separate Seating ily available. They must be pursued for our families, despite the possibility of For additional information, or to obtain tapes, please call Shaindy (718) 853-0900 inconvenience and cost. II

32 The Jewish Observer, April 1999 AMERICAN FRIENDS OF Sanz Medical Center/ CORDIALLY INVITES YOU TO THE INAUGURAL DINNER OF Children of Melllorial Hospital HONOREES In Memory of MED/GU, ADVISORY COMJHTTEf: Mr. and Mrs. Sigmund Mk/we/ Cohm, M.D. Freundlich the 1.5 million children Prqf'essor & Chaimian Sl!EFA Cl/AIM AWARD killed in the Holocaust. [)epartment qf Pediatrics Olga Lipschitz Albert EinstL:in College qf AlSllES Cl!AYIL AWARD To be constructed in Medicine, and Montefi,ore Medical Cent(,-r Mr. and Mrs. Moishe Netanya, Israel. Hubin Donald Gribet.z, M.D. 81/EFA CllAL\I AWARD Departmt11t of Pediatrics MARRIOTT MARQUIS, BROADWAY AT Mr. and Mrs. Moshe A1ount Sinai Medical Center Sheinbaum 46TH STREET, MAY 16, 1999 t:>trwin Gribetz, M.D. KESER SI/EM Tov A W,\Rl) f)epartment of Pediatrics Mr. & Mrs. Harry Mount Sinai Medical Center Uvegi YIZKOR AWARD Edwin Kolodny, M.D. PrqfCssor & Chainnan SPECIAL MEMORIAL l)epartment qfNe"UroloPJ,1 ThrBUTETO NYU Medical C(.'11tcr

Chaim Alter Roth 7"r Jerry £€'Dine, M.D. Joseph Neun1ann Co-Chainnan Dt."(Jartment of TRWUTE COMMITTEE Ga.<1troenterolo4.)• Cl!.UHM/LN Schneiders Children.' Hospital L.l..J.M.C. Rabbi Chaskel Besser Sidney Greenwald Daniel Potaznik, M.D. Co~C1M1nMJ.;N Director Pediatric Hemo-()ncc)l<)/!,)' For n1ore irifi->muitUm .S'tat(.'1t Island lTniversity about the dinru..."f(jounml or llospital Children qf the Holocaust Mernorial /fo:.1Jital plea,

Save a child. Rellle01ber a child. people must not only consider the tir­ cha detzibura, but the invitation to wast­ ing time and lashon hara opportunity from forcing hundreds of guests to wait over an hour, or far more, for the first dance. Every reader of The Jewish Observer knows that there is something struc­ turally wrong with our wedding prac­ tices. One outcome of the need to wait for the photographer is that, by the time the meal starts, guests are already leav­ ing, and only a paltry percent of adult guests are there to participate in the Sheva Brachos after the meal. The wast­ ed time is compounded by the wasted CORRECTION A MODEST PROPOSAL FOR SHRINKING money thrown out by the baalei hasim­ THE PICTURE cha on meals never touched! Due to a technical malfunction in Would it be too much to ask our the printing process, a number of para­ To the Editor: leaders to seek an acceptable alternative graphs in Yonason Rosenblum's arti­ Several years ago, I attended a wed­ to what goes on today? I heard that, in cle in the March '99 Jewish Observer ding where the chassan and kalla one community, they have speeches by were transposed from the footnotes to emerged from the yichud room direct­ honorable dignitaries. Indeed, at a the text. ly onto the dance floor. I asked the recent chasuna, a fellow guest remarked 1) The two paragraphs following father of the bride, "What about the pic­ that we could have had an entire "daf footnote 5 (p. 18) and the first three tures?" He said that the chassan had yomi shiur in the time we were stand­ sentences of the third paragraph asked the Rosh Hayeshiva if the tircha ing around doing nothing." If this were should all be part of footnote 5. The detzibura (inconveniencing the crowd) a simple question of halacha, the solu­ next paragraph of text should begin: involved in waiting for the photographer tion would not be so difficult, but one "And following that reasoning, Moshe to take pictures outweighed the custom must contend with "What will others Negbi ...." of bride and groom not seeing each think?", "Will it harm future shid­ 2) The paragraph following foot­ other before the . He was told duchim?", etc. The solution would be if note 8 (p. 23) should have been part that it would be preferable to take the someone in authority would do some­ of the footnote. pictures earlier. I have never seen this thing about the problem at his own 3 )The first sentence following foot­ at any other wedding and suspect that child's wedding and then instill this note 9 (p. 23) should have been the sec­ this idealistic chassan is the only one who practice in his own yeshiva. Until it hap­ ond paragraph of footnote 9. ever asked the question. pens, we will all have to endure an inter­ We are sorry for any inconvenience Several weeks ago, I touched base minable wait for "one more picture." or confusion. N.W. with both Rabbi Yissocher Frand and ELCHONON 0BERSTEIN Rabbi Kolefsky (Rosh Yeshiva, Ner Israel Baltimore - Baltimore), and both concurred that

The Once-in·a Lifetime Purchase DIVINE SERVICE -AT HOME that you should never have to use: ~" Invei To the Editor: KARKA IN The two letters to the editor by Mrs. B~"c~(fer Hagefen Nannas and Mrs. Edelman (Oct. '98) BRETZ YISKOEL who had been disappointed about not ~~(,, ( The service being able to daven the way they want­ (,\.l for older singles Call Rabbi Gavriel Beer for ed to on Rosh Hashana reminded me of (.L A project of N'shei information on obtaining something that took place a number of Agudath Israel with cemetery plots in Beth Shemesh years ago. At that time, my children were Agudath Israel of America and other locations in Israel. young and needed my attention, pre­ 6619 13th Avenue, Brooklyn, NY 11219 venting me from spending a lot of time Tel. (718) 256-7525 •Fax (718) 256-7578 0 I 1-972-2-641-1923 in shul on Rosh Hashana.

34 The Jewish Observer, April 1999 I happened to walk downstairs from group did not fully concur with the dropouts come from "broken homes, the shul to the social hall where some authors cited above. orphaned homes, dysfunctional homes, children were running around. Many It was "the consensus" of our con­ or unhappy homes" is to send a cruel were unsupervised because their moth­ ference attendees that what causes chil­ and potentially dangerous message to ers1 oblivious to what was going on with dren to rebel from our Mesora is actu­ the community. By doing so, we sim­ their youngsters, felt it important to be ally a highly complex issue, including but ply fuel the shame and humiliation that in shul. not limited to "troubled homes etc:' We many of these unfortunate families are While I was there, a mother came in found that it is a combination of risk already suffering from, causing them in to check on her little ones and started factors that can best account for this turn to attempt to control their children yelling at them, "You're so bad! Look phenomenon and that, if anything, even more strongly than before. Such what you did! You're keeping me from academic difficulties are as much a pre­ unguided knee-jerk attempts at control davening- on Rosh Hashana yet!" dictor as the ones suggested. and manipulation of struggling children She kept on screaming. I just stood To insinuate that the "overwhelming almost always push them further away. there, shocked at the scene. majority" of at-risk teenagers and The bitter truth is that these unfortu- This, obviously, was a mother who didn't realize that her task at this point in her life was to be there for her children. Her reaction, I felt, was not only way ~~, ~,,you wish you out of place, but detrimental to her chil­ dren. If they see that their mother's dav­ ening is the cause of their being yelled \~could be in Eretz Yisrael at and put down, couldn't they rncome to resent tefilla or going to shuR jf~r Se~inarv .. ~ut c~n't? Therefore, I agree with both writers that when your children need you at \;~EnJOY a full Seminary experience n9ht here mQueens! home) you perform a greater service to _, I.. I.. .Jt""" ...... Hashem by being with them than by davening in shul. iJ~.;D1~ .i::Jy"';l jl~·~i NAME WITHHELD BY REQUEST Bais Yaakov Teachers Seminary ofQueens ~~~

DEBATES "CONSENSUS" ON TYPES OF is now acceptinCJ reC)istration for fALL 1999-1'"'U3'1 FAMILIES WITH AT-RISK TEENS full-morning Limudai Kodesh Program Teacher Training Program To the Editor: far I st and 2nd year seminary applicants far 2nd year seminary applicants only While acknowledging Rabbi Braf­ • exciting intensive curriculum • two afternoons a week • educational psychology man's anguish upon reading Rabbi • talented dedicated staff •warm close-knit environment • methodology Bassman's response to his article (Let­ • extra-curricular activities, chesed • student teaching, model lessons ters, Jan. '99), we too are anguished by programs, guest speakers, Shabbatonim • exciting guest speakers on special Rabbi Brafman's response, and the • optional three-week study-tour facets of teaching response from the "unnamed therapist" in Eret:z. Yisrael • teacher's degree (JO Feb. '99) to Rabbi Bassman's letter. To state anything as being "the con­ sensus of professionals and lay activists working with at risk teenagers;' is by its for 1st and 2nd year seminary applicants for 2nd year seminary applicants only • combines full-morning and teacher­ very nature not true. Whom did they • choice of inspiring courses to training programs, culminating accommodate your schedule interview? What poll did they take? teacher's degree after one year Furthermore, in January 1999, we co­ chaired a conference under the auspices Rabbi D9v Maza Mrs. Lisker Mrs. Chana Tanenbaum of Nefesh, The International Association "lM1i 7Jlln Principal Assistant Principal of Orthodox Mental Health Profes­ sionals and Ohel Children's and Fami­ for information or application please call: mornings (llB} 591-16~5 ly Services, attended by eighty Rabban­ afternoons or evenings (ll8)8~9-~09Z or (ll8)~~1-306Z phone/fax (118) 850-8Z~8 im, Mechanchim) professionals and lay We feel that girls who choose to stay in America deserve a special seminary year. activists, and on the contrary, our

The Jewish Observer, April 1999 35 nate children come from a broad cross­ bled" and highly functional, happy, frum section of families, including both "trou- homes. As yet, we are unaware of any sin­ gle study that has accurately assessed what ((type)) of home is more at risk and from which "type" of home "the overwhelm­ ing majority" of these children derive. In the meantime, until such studies have been done, let us reach out with compassion and understanding, and avoid reckless conjecture and its poten­ tially devastating results. Let us instead keep in mind that Chazal admonish us Al tadin es chavercha ad shetagiah Passionate Judaism, Rabbi Moshe Meir limekomo, 'Do not judge your friend Weiss, Judaica Press Inc., $19.95 -hard­ until you are in his position:' Let us cover, $17.95 - paperback work diligently to better understand the true roots of this systemic problem, and as members of Kial Yisroel offer support once attended a shiur where the MEHL CATERERS and understanding to those families so Rebbi began by quoting the famous Is Pleased To desperately in need of it. I maggid of Yerushalayim, Rabbi DR. NORMANN. BLUMENTHAL, Sholom Shwadron ?"'if, who said that Announce PSYCHOLOGIST if one hears a maggid singing in the Hewlett, NY middle of a drasha it means he forgot That We Are RABBI SHIMON RUSSELL L.C.S.W., what he was going to say. "So if I start Accepting Bookings Lakewood, NJ singing,» he said, "bear with me." Everyone laughed and was now in the for Your Simchas mood to accept his important Torah The author comments: message. ltt:===== Rabbi Moshe Meir Weiss, in his new I am disappointed that so much book Passionate Judaism, has not for­ Terrace On The Park attention is being devoted to one sentence gotten any Divrei Torah, but has pro­ Mehl Caterers in my article, ('Where Are We Heading? duced a book in the tradition of the Our Latest Encounters With Western Cul­ famous maggidim. It puts the reader New Awanl lllnning Chtfs Ftalllring Nou1elk Cuisine ture" (JO Oct. '98), which was a side com­ at ease while serving up some extraor­ llith Traditionol Tastu ment, and not the thrust of the article. dinarily important lessons on how to Now Avallabl& W'llh largest Dance Floor In N. Y.C. I certainly regret causing anyone pain lead a life filled with Torah, tefilla, har­ Chttk 0111 25lh Annivmary Sptcial Pri

------36 The Jewish Observer, April 1999 Rabbi Labish Becker

• Limit yourself to a certain the same gentle analysis include: Child insights from Gedolim of the past and amount of criticism per week. If pos­ Raising, Kedusha, Limud Hatorah, Ruch­ present. A real bonus is a fifty-two step sible make a quota for each day. I once nius, Shabbos, Shmiras guide to a better Jewish life. heard Rav Keller say at an Agudah Haloshon, As Rabbi Weiss prefaces it: Convention that a spouse should ask Tefilla, Thus, in the spirit of the spiritual himself before issuing another cleansing ofPesach, here is a list offifty­ remonstration - Did I already crit­ two areas of life which perhaps could icize today? (Remember, it's use some scrubbing. With these com­ preferable if you don't fill mitments we will be better prepared to your quota!) celebrate Pesach, the anniversary ofthe • Conditioning yourself to birth of the Jewish people. criticize sparingly will make you Also included is a delightful pre­ more selective about the issues Pesach "interview" with the Yeitzer you choose to bring up. You will Hara which will make the reader begin asking yourself, "Is this real­ laugh - and cringe at the same time, ly worth making a fuss about and with self-recognition. upsetting my partner? Is it weighty Rabbi Weiss has proven himself enough of an issue to mar the to be as a good a writer as he is a evening's mood?" speaker. Anyone who reads this • Before you criticize, thoroughly book carefully will certainly aspire think through the issue. Don't waste to become a better Jew and human a criticism on something where your being. And if he follows the advice it spouse may be unconvinced and offers, he will certainly succeed. • 1 show you that you have no complaint Yomim Tovim) among Rabbi Becker is Associate Executive Director and at all. others. All exhibit the same mix Director of Special Projects of Agudath Israel of Other areas that are subjected to of Divrei Torah, Hashkafa, sensitivity and America.

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