The Secret Keepers
Total Page:16
File Type:pdf, Size:1020Kb
UNIVERSITY OF CALGARY The Secret Keepers: A Hermeneutical Inquiry into the Education of Female Child Sexual Abuse Survivors by Kate Beamer A THESIS SUBMITTED TO THE FACULTY OF GRADUATE STUDIES IN PARTIAL FULFILMENT OF THE REQUIREMENTS FOR THE DEGREE OF MASTER OF ARTS GRADUATE DIVISION OF EDUCATIONAL RESEARCH FACULTY OF EDUCATION CALGARY, ALBERTA APRIL, 2010 © Kate Beamer 2010 Library and Archives Bibliothèque et Canada Archives Canada Published Heritage Direction du Branch Patrimoine de l’édition 395 Wellington Street 395, rue Wellington Ottawa ON K1A 0N4 Ottawa ON K1A 0N4 Canada Canada Your file Votre référence ISBN: 978-0-494-62052-6 Our file Notre référence ISBN: 978-0-494-62052-6 NOTICE: AVIS: The author has granted a non- L’auteur a accordé une licence non exclusive exclusive license allowing Library and permettant à la Bibliothèque et Archives Archives Canada to reproduce, Canada de reproduire, publier, archiver, publish, archive, preserve, conserve, sauvegarder, conserver, transmettre au public communicate to the public by par télécommunication ou par l’Internet, prêter, telecommunication or on the Internet, distribuer et vendre des thèses partout dans le loan, distribute and sell theses monde, à des fins commerciales ou autres, sur worldwide, for commercial or non- support microforme, papier, électronique et/ou commercial purposes, in microform, autres formats. paper, electronic and/or any other formats. The author retains copyright L’auteur conserve la propriété du droit d’auteur ownership and moral rights in this et des droits moraux qui protège cette thèse. Ni thesis. Neither the thesis nor la thèse ni des extraits substantiels de celle-ci substantial extracts from it may be ne doivent être imprimés ou autrement printed or otherwise reproduced reproduits sans son autorisation. without the author’s permission. In compliance with the Canadian Conformément à la loi canadienne sur la Privacy Act some supporting forms protection de la vie privée, quelques may have been removed from this formulaires secondaires ont été enlevés de thesis. cette thèse. While these forms may be included Bien que ces formulaires aient inclus dans in the document page count, their la pagination, il n’y aura aucun contenu removal does not represent any loss manquant. of content from the thesis. UNIVERSITY OF CALGARY FACULTY OF GRADUATE STUDIES The undersigned certify that they have read, and recommend to the Faculty of Graduate Studies for acceptance, a thesis entitled "The Secret Keepers: A Hermeneutical Inquiry into the Education of Female Child Sexual Abuse Survivors" submitted by Kate Beamer in partial fulfilment of the requirements of the degree of Master of Arts. Supervisor, Dr. Jim Paul, Division of Teacher Preparation, Graduate Division of Educational Research, Faculty of Education Dr. Darren Lund, Division of Teacher Preparation, Graduate Division of Educational Research, Faculty of Education Dr. Christine Walsh, Faculty of Social Work Date ii Abstract This thesis, utilizing a hermeneutic methodology – grounded in Hans Georg Gadamer‘s Truth and Method – seeks to understand a way forward that will raise awareness of female sexual abuse. This thesis focuses on the schooling of adolescents – in senior high schools – as a site of information about the effects of sexual abuse. If a school‘s pedagogic practices and curriculum are opened up to the use of dialogue and narrative inquiry – particularly novels – then perhaps all young people can be made aware of the epidemic that is female child sexual abuse. Then, female sexual abuse survivors may come to understand that they are not alone and, indeed, have a voice and no longer must remain silent about the horrors they have endured. This thesis proposes a pedagogic way forward with female sexual abuse and specially proposes a way to end the silent regime of terror against females and young girls in particular. iii Acknowledgements I would like to acknowledge my supervisor, Dr. Jim Paul, for his guidance and support. I would also like to acknowledge all the women and men who dedicate their lives to educating and helping victims of sexual abuse. iv Dedication I dedicate this thesis to all of those who helped and supported me throughout this process. Namely, my mother, sister and grandmother for providing me with role models of strong women, my father and grandfather for their guidance and support, my partner Shane, who gave me time, support, childcare and cups of coffee while I wrote, and my son Taylor who taught me the true meaning of purpose and joy. And mostly, I dedicate this thesis to the myriad of women and girls who have survived the horrors of sexual abuse. v Table of Contents Approval Page ..................................................................................................................... ii Abstract .............................................................................................................................. iii Acknowledgements ............................................................................................................ iv Dedication ............................................................................................................................v Table of Contents ............................................................................................................... vi PROLOGUE: THE SECRET KEEPERS ............................................................................1 CHAPTER 1: INTRODUCTION ......................................................................................27 CHAPTER 2: THE HIDDEN YET OVERT STRUGGLE: THE OPPRESSIVE CONSTRAINTS OF FEMALE CHILD SEXUAL ABUSE ....................................41 CHAPTER 3: SILENTLY SCREAMING: THE AFTER-EFFECTS OF CHILD SEXUAL ABUSE ON THE LIVES OF ADOLESCENT GIRLS ...........................70 CHAPTER 4: SHIFTING THE PRIVATE INTO THE PUBLIC SPHERE: THE EDUCATION OF A CHILD SEXUAL ABUSE VICTIM ......................................99 CHAPTER 5: HERMENEUTICS AS A COMPLICATED CONVERSATIONAL WAY FORWARD FOR UNDERSTANDING FEMALE SEXUAL ABUSE ......130 CHAPTER 6: THROWING OUT A LIFE LINE: THE ROLE OF LITERATURE IN THE EDUCATION OF CHILD SEXUAL ABUSE ..............................................163 CHAPTER 7: SPEAKING OUT: DIALOGUE AND THE TRANSFORMATION TOWARDS FREEDOM .........................................................................................200 EPILOGUE ......................................................................................................................232 WORKS CITED ..............................................................................................................239 vi 1 PROLOGUE: THE SECRET KEEPERS This enquiry starts with a story... ―Don‘t worry, I promise, I‘m not going to hurt you.‖ His words try to soothe her, but all she can feel is the hot condensation of his breath closing in on her ear and his whiskers scratching her face. She doesn‘t know him but she knows he is lying. His hand forms a fist in between her legs and the weight of his other arm pins her to the bed crushing her chest. No face, only arms, arms holding her down, arms yanking down her 'days-of-the-week' panties. Today is Wednesday. She feels like she is going to throw up but she is too scared to even do that so silent tears flee from her eyes instead. But he doesn‘t stop. He doesn‘t stop. ―Sable, I asked you a question.‖ Suddenly, reeled back into the present, Sable finds herself under the scrutinizing glares of her classmates and teacher as she realizes that 'it' has happened again. ―Um, sorry, what question are we on?‖ Sable looks around, wondering if anyone has caught on to what has just happened or notices the heated red of her usual stone face, or can see the sweat falling off her neck, her hands clenched up in fists. This is the third time 'this' has happened to her in school during the past week, being unwillingly ripped out of her body by memories. But these are not just memories; she is there, in that moment, reliving something that felt deeply emotive, but still shadowed and veiled. Up until a couple of weeks ago, her childhood had just been her childhood – but now something from that childhood is calling her and making her feel sick and, an almost obsessive preoccupation that makes her not care about school assignments. She puts her 2 head down on her desk and waits anxiously for the bell to ring. When it finally does, she tries to shake off the now increasingly ever-present feeling, stuffing it deep down inside her where it feels safe, where it has always been, as she walks out into the safety of the noisy hallways where her friends are waiting for her outside the classroom door. Her new and emergent memories are fragmented, often appear in dreams, and seem to pop up in association with certain smells. When the memories arrive, Sable finds herself being very young, seeing certain faces, aware of oversized hands that smell like smoke and something stronger – something musky. But most of all she remembers the closet. That‘s where he had put her. It was an elevated closet, above her bed, and he put her in there and shut the door, securing it along the sides with knives. She can never get out. When the door would eventually open, she would be blinded by the light – not that she really desired to see, because once she felt that piercing blindness of the forgotten sun, she knew what was about to happen. Someone, and it was different almost every time, would take her out of that closet, and bring her onto her small single bed with the 'Strawberry