Founded in 1949 The Newspaper of Imperial College Union

Ex-editor Colin Palmer slams CND movement and NUS in surprise bid for national Tory leadership

IMPERIAL COLLEGE delegate, Colin Palmer (last year's FELIX Editor) was one of the three candidates to stand for the post of Chairman of the Federation of Conservative Students at the FCS Conference held at Sheffield University over the Easter vacation. Former Chairmen include , Mark Carlisle and . Colin was given a tremendous reception as lie slammed home his speech which is now reprinted below: "As a student journalist I have had to write many reports ol I nion meetings and Conferences but this has been my first FCS Conference. I was shocked at the events that took place in this hall, yesterday. " There was sloppy behaviour from the floor and from the platform. The attitude of the National Committee was poor. Several members casually wandered oil the platform when MPs were speaking. We need to improve the image of the Annual FCS Conference. Now I briefly discuss my views of the XL'S. Those Colleges who have disaffiliated from the NUS should start a new National Union. Other Colleges will be encouraged to disaffiliate as they will at last have the opportunity to be members ol a more representative National Union. "Imperial College is not a member ol the XL'S and I have actively campaigned to keep it out ol NT'S. "We are winning the nuclear debate. Nuclear power can be safely controlled. I believe most people at this conference are pro-nuclear except of course lor those members of the CXI). These are misguided idealists whose actions, if realised, would lead to the Russian Occupation of this country. continued on page 3

MINES MUST FIND BRASS

RCS Union is demanding jive hundred pounds for RCSU have threatened to sell Davy (which they the safe return of Mines mascot "Davy", which regard as an oversized replica of a Davey lamp) RCSU violated at the end of last term. In a letter to Cambourne School of Mines, long-standing delivered last night to the RSMU President, Keith rivals of the Royal School of Mines. Maynard, details of the ransom demands were In the past, the unfortunate losers of mascots revealed. have had to follow a "treasure hunt", paying a sum of money for each "clue". In a statement, In addition to the sum of money, which will be Paul Johnson, the VP of RCSU, who is paid towards RCS Union's charity collection. responsible for the Union's mascotry, and it is Mines executive and others will have to perform rumoured, mastermined the whole plot to kidnap some amusing tasks. The first of these, outlined the lamp, said "We will be organising a treasure in the letter involves the executive and "at least hunt as usual, but of course we have had to allow two complete rugby teams" who will have to for inflation and today's high price of brass, 1 spend this evening standing in front of Big Ben, mean, Davy's worth £500 for scrap". holding a copy of this FELIX and today's New The only hope now for the bereaved Miners is Standard. They must produce by 9.00am to steal RCSU's as yet unviolated mascot tomorrow morning, a set of photographs taken "Theta" (a large thermometer), but that doesn't "every hour on the hour" showing themselves appear to be an easy task, especially as a large holding the papers and with the clock in the number of Miners will be committed to a photo- background. session at Westminster tonight, when RCSU will If Mines refuse to acceed to the demands be bringing Theta to their annual dinner.

No. 582 Friday May 1,1981 Free! "lun" and this fun can often be does not like the tone of the result in prominent people in the member's voice". That will not Small Ads CCUs being punished or some- be safeguarding or advancing the M Registration, 3,500 miles, reliable thing similar by being drenched interest or welfare ol this Union. solid car (Moskvitch) MOT,taxed, £250. or covered with unsavoury Fourthly, the concept that this Ft Serpell, Aero, int 3707. One Nakamichi 410 pre-amp £150; materials. Messrs Archer and motion or anything like it one Lecson AP3 power amp £176; one McCabe. who over the last three expresses is a disgraceful sub- Lecson APIX power amp £120. Phone years have been active members jugation ol the Doctrine ol 521-8531 after 7:00pm. Can be delivered to South Ken area. ol the RCSU now suggest that Freedom of Speech. Whilst it is Springsteen tickets: I have four tick- ibis treatment should be cx- not so that Freedom of Expres- ets (£6) for Monday, June 1 and want to lenclecl toothers. In doing so they sion should permit one person to swap them for tickets on either May 29, use an excessive amount ol time 30 or June 4. Contact Tim Mitchell. will usurp the cole of these CCl s Mech Eng letter-racks. lo amuse I licit membership, and or space lo put forward any one BBC Radio's The Jason Explanation lower the regard in which ICU view il is also not correct that with David Jason, Sheila Steafel and Jon Glover will be recorded on Satur- someone should be threatened general meetings arc- held, both day, May 2 at the Paris Studio. Lower those who attend and those with violence il be dares to Regent Street. Doors open 7:15pm. w bo do not. express a view at all. You may be Free tickets available from Jen in the Union Office. I do not expect that Mr wondering what Mr Cortazzi has Want to earn extra money? I require done to deserve all this attention. Corlazzi will of bis own free will street canvassers. Cash payed. Hours lling himself into any pond or (You will find the motion in to suit. Phone Tim, 637-5698. bath, and I don't blame him. I E\eeuti,e Xens.) He has expressed Wrist merchant? Turn professional. Must be anti-social. Contact CROB on an unsatisfactory opinion ol the don't think that Messrs Archer or 3521. McCabc expect him to do any Exec, and in particular John Hit squad hits the Rector: all con- such thing either, and they ask "Dogs ol War" Passmore. He has tributions to Ruth, Guilds Union Office. that he be Ihroun in. I suggest spoken at UGMs on issues that Highest contributor does the dirty at Rag Fete. that what these two people really be was interested in. He has tried Baseball: Experienced players want is for Mi Cortazzi to keep to inject some humour into are desperately needed for a new team quiet at Union meetings and to L'GMs. something which is in the summer Southern League. Con- sorely needed, something that tact Dennis Creehan, Metallurgy B401, slop criticising. To that end they int 3388 or external (evenings) 837- Dear Sir want a motion to be passed Mr McCabc himself thinks 3155. A motion was brought lo the against him at "the sovereign would be helpful. For this he has Fight World Poverty Lobby, Tuesday, Results UGM towards the end of hotly of the Union", (ICU) in the been subjected to public ridicule May 5: Urge the Government to take positive action at the Mexico summit last term which asked that a hope that he will shut up. by Messrs Archer and McCabe, on Brandt. Phone WDM on 836-3672 prominent member of the Union It will be disgraceful if this because he has dared to criticise. for details or turn up at the House of should be thrown in a convenient Commons, 3:00-9:00pm on May 5, to motion was to be discussed at It is shameful that Executive see your MP and hear Michael Foot, expanse ol water. This motion such a meeting, and I call the members should support this Shirely Williams and others speaking at the lobby. was backed by Mr Richard proposers to withdraw it. motion, and they will be canting IC Day Nursery is having a jumble Archer. RCSU President and a Firstly, if Mr Cortazzi is hypocrites il they continue with vice-president ol ICl . and Mi sale on Friday, May 8 in the Consort thrown against his will into 01 it. 11 this is their altitude I o Gallery between 10:00am and 2:00pm. Barney McCabe, ICU Deputy onto something, then whomsoever criticism we might as well turn Come and have fun. President-elect. Two well-known shall do so will commit the the Union into an Executive Leo Easynob reveals missing people in this Union, two link! Leo Easynob (cruciverbalist, criminal offence ol assault and Dictatorship. They are seeking to mooner and alcoholic) has at last re- popular people whose views battery. deny the right ol audience lo an lented. He is the composer of the £10 prize crossword in The Phoenix 1981, carry a lot of weight, because ol Secondly, the Union bye-laws individual in view ol a physical the positions they bold or will and fit is falsely rumoured) responsible give the aims of the Union as characteristic — the sound of his for the omission of one of the clues. I hold, but also because ol their "the encouragement ol interest voice. That is called discrimina- can now reveal that the clue in question is: own personal abilities and past by students in matters outside the tion. They are seeking to punish deeds. This motion seems likely Down College curriculum especially someone for expressing a view 4. Reprinted with lost continuity (11). to be brought again. cultural and athletic interests", contrary to that ol those "in Sean Giblin, Phoenix Editor Mr Cortazzi holds no such and "the provision ol a corporate power" who, ol which these Iwo position. He is secretary ol a Ixxly of students to represent and are good examples, have risen to PARACHUTE JUMPING political society, he writes letters to safeguard and advance the the lop becoming buoyant by introductory meeting to FELIX, and speaks al UGMs, interests and welfare of the putrefaction, rising as they Thursday, May 7 and it is because ol this last Imperial College". I do not think rotted. That is called intolerance 5:30pm reason, because be says some- that the intended treatment ol and tyranny. Union Dining Hall thing at a Union meeting, that it Mr Cortazzi is defined speci- This is a small poml but an has been proposed by these two fically in these aims, and that important one. II Messrs An Tier people that he should be thrown it is thcrelbre ultra vires the Union and McCabc see the role ol the IC Social Democratic Society into the Round Pond. What an constitution. This is what is executive as dictatorial, hypo- presents incentive to taking part at a known as a civil wrong. It would critical anil tyrannical I he\ UGM, to lice speech. Arc wc to be open to anyone in the Union should say so clearly next speaking on understand that if our questions to'initiate civil proceedings Thursday. II they do not they The Aims of the SDP to the Executive next year are against the Union: the Exec should apologise to Mi Cotlazzi Tuesday, May 5 not phrased in the Queen's might be sued on their own and to the Union lor having 1:00pm English, and do not come lightly behalf, and on behalf of the thought such a motion accept- Pippard Lecture Theatre tripping oil the tongue with every whole Union. 'Thus, if it was able. This motion should be All members of College welcome. nuance and final consonant attempted to throw Mr Cortazzi thrown out. correctly emphasised to resound in. the proposers ol the motion, lours fttilhlulh' throughout the Great Hall, that the Executive and anyone else M Havward we will incur the Executive's invoked with it would be liable Civ Eng 1 FLESH GORDON displeasure, and bum there it will lo both criminal and civil An SF Sock Presentation be a short step to being soaked to proceedings. Ed's Note Tuesday, May 5 the skin.' Thirdly. I here are those who I have printed this letter as 6.30 p.m. M.E. 220 Being soaked to the skin is a seek to bring litis Union into an exercise in concision. treatment one normally associates contempt in the eyes of other Should Messrs McCabe and 50p (20p members) with initiations, rait races, rag students particularly in London. Archer wish to answer Mr stunts and other activities which London Student might well say Hay ward's quite valid (I think) are automatically linked with "One ol next year's sabbaticals al points. I would ask for brevity, CCLJs. Those bodys like to think Imperial College is seeking to withoIII wishing 10 restrict that their union meetings are silence a Union member because the concept ol bee speech.

Page 2 FELIX, May 1,1981 Continued from front page RASP! Quirk of Fate? "Yesterday, we heard of the problems the Conservatives in Sheffield face in helping tenants, in council houses, to be able to buy their home. I believe in the freedom of the individual to own his property. No Flowers "Terrorist activities in this country are on the increase. I would like lo make special mention of PC Trevor Locke and bis bravery at the Iranian By our Embassy siege. Yesterday PC Locke was awarded the George Medal. By Request We need to give support to our Police force as they face the rioting mobs of Bristol and the molotov cocktails al Brixton. Homosexual THE NEXT Vice-Chancellor of "In a press statement this morning, our Prime Minister. Mrs ihe University of London is to be THE REPLACEMENT Thatcher, condemned the destruction ol Brixton. She said thai the riots offset Professor Quirk, of the Depart- 1 itho printing machine was were not caused by unemployment. ment of English at University installed in the FELIX Office on College London. "The unemployment figures have been used by the enemies ol the the final Thursday of last term. Conservative Party to attempt to harm the good record of the This was revealed in a news Unfortunately, the machine was Government. But have those people practical policies to lower report in The limes by Diana two inches too wide to fit through unemployment .... No of course not! They are just content on picking a Geddes, education correspondent one of the doors. The problem topic that in their minds will win the most votes. of the paper. The news bad been was solved, however, when "Conservatives need to hammer home their positive policies. Here is a leaked before an official an- Estates Department workers took Press Release from yesterday's FCS Conference. Press releases must be nouncement was made. In the down part of a wall between the improved. No wonder the local Radio station only focussed on one small report, Ms Geddes said that Lord Beit Television Lounge and the topical comment in Dr Rhodes Boyson's speech. Flowers, Rector of Imperial FELIX Print Room. This caused College, had been a leading "Finally, I suggest that a National FCS Newspaper should be created. minor consternation to the contender for the post. She One edition to be issued before Fresher's Week encouraging students to people watching STOIC, but il is suggested lhat Lord Flowers had join the FCS. Then two issues a term would be sufficient to unite all the not thought they missed much. lost support after the publication Student Conservative Societies. There would be a chance lo link up all The new litho has cost the of the controversial "Flowers our groups, not just al the annual conference which has now become a Union over £2,500 and was Report" on London's medical pathetic forum lor factional infighting. We must unite lo face a common bought from the Maths depart- schools. enemy." ment. The old machine was Shortly alter the report was The result of the election lor Chairman was: Tim Linaere (Right) bought second-hand five years published, Lord Scarman, a Law 205, Peter Batey (Left) 223 and Colin Palmer (Independent) 8. Once ago, and had broken down often Lord, wrote lo The Times com- again the Right Wing slate won the day; with a little help from the this session. plaining about the breach of Neasden Papers perhaps? confidence which resulted in the result being released prema- .turely released. He said The' Cops Times had "caused embarass- Spot the athlete ' merit even distress to individ- 'n' Robbers uals". THE POLICE were called to Dep Rep College at the end of last term after a lecturer chased a sus- pected thief down seven floors ol Elections the E1 e c I r i e a 1 E n g i n e e r i n g Building. THE ELECTIONS for ICU's Dr M J Lee returned to bis departmental represent at ives room on Wednesday lunchtime took place towards the end ol last to find an intruder in his room. term. The turnout was low. When the man was challenged, Those elected were: Aeronautics, he tan out and down I he stairs, Phil M erryman; Chem Eng, being chased by Dr Lee. Tin- Bryan Shindler; Chemistry, K. man was sloped at the bottom of Schmidt; Computing, M Bellamy; the stairs, and the police were Elec Eng, G Bowser; Life Sci, called. The man was taken lo the Phil Natham; Maths, Nigel local police station, but the police Cryer; Meeh Eng, Dave Gayer; decided not to press charges. Met and Mat Sci, Paul Gear; Min Res Eng, Hywel Thomas; Mr Reeves, Chief Security Officer, told FELIX that tin- Physics, Donal Bradley. The man claimed to be in the room Civil Engineering and Geology enquiring about electronics representatives are still to be Athlete Colin Palmer courses. elected. The Man Sci Dep Rep will be elected next session. ICs sports games took place last Wednesday at Motspur Park. The IC Student events included running, jumping and throwing. Mines won with Passmore eighty-eight points. Guilds eighty, and RCS eight. denies it! dies AT THE end of last term a FIRST YEAR Life Sciences publication called "Feelsick" student, Carla Castagna, died Mines Who's a appeared around College. Similar suddenly during the Easier in appearance to FELIX, "Feel- vacation. Election clever boy ? sick" contained much offensive Carla died, in a plane, while I 111 MINI'S elections look material, including a suggestion on a visit to her sister in place In (he last week ol last term. FOUR MEMBERS of tin-College that Mr John Passmore, ICU Switzerland. Carla was nineteen Mr Ross Baxter was elected as academic stall were elected to the President, would be a likely years old and had studied al President. Miss (IUVIIOI' Lewis as Royal Society during the vaca- ULU Presidential candidate in Imperial lor six months. Nice President,, and Mr Jeremy tion. The new FRSs are Prol the forthcoming elections. Mr The stall' and students of tin- Taylor as lion Sec. Il is the first Barnard of Biochemistry, Prof Passmore, however, denied that Life Sciences department ex- year for quite some lime lliat a Butterworth of Physics, Prof he was standing and said he pressed their sadness on bearing lad) lias been elected lo the Bradshaw of Aeronautics and Dr hoped to do further academic the news of her death. RSMU Executive: D F Evans of Chemistry. work in Imperial College.

FELIX, May 1, 1981 Page 3 SF Sock Bulletin PAT A At our last meeting Cy Challenger and Christine HOORAY HOORAY it's the first of May another Aplin described the work of the Life Care and information packed bulletin is coming your way. Housing Trust, a registered charity which helps Hello pigeon. I'm sorry I don't know why I wrote women with unplanned pregnancies. Advertising that. Well, the society has been more successful alone in the underground and London's over Easter than it ever is during term. Folks, we newspapers costs their Oxford Street office ERI had a great time, and with your money as well. £1,500 per month despite which assistance Let it never be said that we are underhand. But ranging from pregnancy tests and counselling to first the news. help with accommodation were provided free. mOLLECoE Flesh Gordon, May 5. Mech Eng 220. Cy. herself an unmarried mother, stressed that Afterwards, the AGM. including SF Soc elections any woman who approached them for help was and important policy decisions. Yes, out with the allowed to make her own decision whether to old committee in with the new. We are all continue with pregnancy. standing for re-election (all the ones who count PATA's Annual General Meeting will be on anyway) plus a few added extra bonus Thursday, May 14. at which Sean Gordon, DURING the last few weeks of last term, you voted candidates. Bring membership cards and he student organiser of Britain's biggest political for your ten all-time favourite in the Big prepared to heckle. These elections are more pressure group, the Society for Protection of Bunny Egg-stravaganza. Big Bunny counted important than the Union elections (we do Unborn Children, will be the speaker. all of the votes, and came up with the chart which actually do things after all) so should you turn up? was broadcast on IC Radio in the final week of last The answer must be yes! (YES). Other news term. For those of you who missed it (especially everyone who was so brained on Friday that they items: Chris Priest can't make it; our magazine Sunday May 3 couldn't hear the Top Ten) we now present, via the was referred to as "an object lesson in how not to Guilds Goes East pages of this prestigious publication. Imperial produce a fanzine" by John Collick. Not written Saturday May 9 College's very own All-Time Album Chart; by any of his friends or something. Well, there it Seaside Trip it's is, another SF bulletin over. They're like life really. BIG BUNNY'S TOP FIFTY Nasty, brutish, and short, and the worse for being "Guilds Goes East" is a trip round the East End tampered with by Steve Marshall. 50 Bob Dylan Blood on the Tracks visiting a few pubs and places of interest, and the 49 Pretenders The Pretenders Penned by Ken (how dare you assume I'm seaside trip will be to a top secret destination — 48 Residents Not Available homosexual) Mann aka Christ aka Chas aka not necessarily on the seaside. Full details from 47 Queen Sheer Heart Attack John Lennon and Gonad the Barbarian Ruth for these events. 46 Bob Seger Stranger in Town The colours sub-committees will soon be 45 Jam All Mod Cons meeting. If you know of anyone who's been a star 44 Rush 2112 for Guilds and think they deserve recognition you 43 Wishbone Ash Argus Sunday, May 3 can nominate them for colours, by Tuesday to the 42 Rainbow Long Live Rock'n'Roll Je/ goes to Brightoi 41 Simon&Garfunkel BridgeOverTroubledWaters chairman of the relevant club or society or to 40 Adam and the Ants Kings of the Wild Frontier Friday, May 8 Andy Rushton in the Guilds Office. Your Silwood Ball 39 Stevie Wonder Innervisions nominations must be treated in utmost 38 Rolling Stones Sticky Fingers confidence (don't even tell the person you are 37 Crosby, Stills, Nash & Young Deja Vu nominating — they will be disappointed if they 36 Rolling Stones Exile on Main Street Welcome back to another fun filled term. With don't get it) and must be accompanied by half a 35 Billy Joel The Stranger Davy safely in the hands of RCSU we can page saying why you think they deserve colours. 34 Sex Pistols Great Rock'n'Roll Swindle Nominations are also invited for the AM 33 Dire Straits Dire Straits guarantee lots of fun for the Mines Exec 32 Bruce Springsteen Darkness on the Edge of However, details of the treasure hunt will appear Holbein Memorial Award — possibly the highest Town elsewhere in the pages of this esteemed organ. award in Guilds. 31 Sex Pistols Never Mind the Jez is taking part in the Historic Commercial Nominees must fulfil the following criteria: 30 Jethro Tull Aqualung Vehicle Club Brighton run on Sunday. The BGFE 1. Be someone who has proved themselves as 29 Beatles The Beatles should arrive at Brighton seafront between 12.00 an enthusiastic and able sportsman for Guilds 28 Rush A Farewell to Kings and 12.30. Trains from Victoria take little more (rather than IC). 27 Van Morrison Astral Weeks 2. Be socially enthusiastic and well-liked. 26 Cheap Trick Dream Police than an hour for the journey and cost about 25 Pink Floyd Animals a mere £2 with railcard (day return). See you on 3. Be an active Union member (preferably not 24 Rolling Stones Let It Bleed the dodgems. on the exec). 23 Elton John Goodbye Yellow Brick Road All the tickets for Silwood have now been sold. Again, nominations should be in by Tuesday to 22 Al Stewart Year of the Cat Bad luck to anyone who didn't get a ticket. If you Andy Rushton and must be confidential. 21 Queen A Day at the Races did get a ticket and wish to hire a dinner jacket Also, applications are invited, by May 12, for 20 Stiff Little Fingers Inflammable Material then a 20% reduction has been arranged with the Holbein Travel Scholarship. If you are going 19 The Cure Seventeen Seconds Moss Bros in Covent Garden abroad to work this summer and would like some 18 Rainbow Down to Earth Good luck with exams. FREE MONEY see the Guilds noticeboard, or 17 Neil Young Live Rust 16 Clash London Calling PJ ask in the Guilds Office. 15 Deep Purple Made in Japan 14 Kate Bush The Kick Inside 13 Supertramp Crime of the Century 12 Bruce Springsteen Born to Run Old Centralians Trust 11 AC/DC If you want Blood 10 Steely Dan Aja THE OLD CENTRALIANS TRUST will award a indicate the nature of their investigations covering 9 Peter Gabriel Peter Gabriel (III) travel scholarship to a value of £100 (or possibly different aspects of the Group project. Preference 8 Pink Floyd The Wall more), to assist an undergraduate of the City and may be given to a Group expedition whose 7 Genesis A Trick of the Tail Guilds College to undertake a study project members are all undergraduates. 6 Bob Dylan Desire abroad during the summer vacation of 1981. The 4. Each project must include an approximate 5 David Bowie Hunky Dory award will be made in accordance with the timetable and travel itinerary. 4 Pink Floyd Dark Side of the Moon 3 Bruce Springsteen The River following conditions: 5. A budget giving details of expenses involved 2 Stevie Wonder Songs in the Key of Life must also be submitted and should include travel 1 Pink Floyd Wish You Were Here 1. Each applicant must submit detailed plans of and accommodation expenses, together with cost Don't forget that you can hear IC Radio on his or her project — a scheme of investigation in and details of any special equipment that may be 301 metres (999kHz) throughout the Prince's the general field of science, technology or required. Gardens Halls of Residence (except for some of the engineering — to be carried out abroad, during 6. Application forms may be obtained from the Linstead Extension), also in Stan's and Linstead the summer vacation of 1981. Fieldwork or Secretary, Old Centralians, Room 303. Sherfield Bars and various gallery levels. Because of vacation work which is the normal requirement of Building. The completed forms should be everyone's impending exams, broadcasts last until a degree course or a course at a University returned not later than May 12, 1981. 11:00pm each evening. Summer School cannot be considered. 7. Applicants who are selected will be Preference may be given to applicants who have interviewed in London during May. The award not previously undertaken a vacation project will be announced as soon as possible after the abroad. interview. 2. The subject of an applicant's project must 8. Each holder of a travel scholarship will be be approved by his or her professor or tutor. required to submit a preliminary and a final KG. Wells 3. A scholarship may be awarded to a group project report; the preliminary report, which need Interested in reforming the H.G. Wells only be brief, within a month, and the final report expedition but the total will not normally exceed Society? Then meet in the FELIX Office at £100. Individual applications are requested from within four months of his or her return from 1.00pm TODAY!!!!! two members of the Group, who must clearly abroad.

Page 4 FELIX, May 1, 1981 Seven performances by The Royal Ballet: Mon. May 11. 7.30 p.m. The Sleeping Beauty (Tchaikovsky/Petipa) Tue. May 12. 7.30 p.m. Isadora IBennett/MacMillan) Wed. May 13. 7.30 p.m. Hamlet (Tchaikovsky/Helpmann) Symphonic Variations IFranck/Ashton) Pas de deux (to be announcedl The Concert IChopin/RobbinsI

Thur. May 14. 7.30 p.m. The Dream (Mendelssohn/Ashtonl A Month in the Country IChopin/Ashtonl La Fin du iour (Ravel/MacMillan) Fri. May 15. 7.30 p.m. Hamlet (Tchaikovsky/Helpmanni Symphonic Variations (Franck/Ashtonl Pas de deux Ito be announcedl The Concert IChopin/Robbins)

Sat. May 16. 2.00 p.m. Romeo and Juliet (Prokofiev/MacMillanl Romeo and Juliet (Prokofiev/MacMillan) Sat. May 16. 7.30 p.m 700 stalls promenade places available on the day of performance Sponsored by Midland Bank Limited. one hour before curtain up. £1.50 each inc. VAT. Further details: 01-240 1911124-hour information service). Midland Bargain offers for promenaders. Stalls seats for Amphi prices!" v Bank 15 Proms ticket stub will entitle you to drastic reductions on seats for a The Royal Opera House Covenl Garden Limited receives financial number of performances by The Royal Opera. Full details supplied assistance from The Arts Council ol Great Britain. with tickets.

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NO CRUISE, NO TRIDENT: PROTEST AND SURVIVE Theatre Duval as Olive Oyl was inspired, along with many more of the cast. The film is a semi- musical, with songs by Nilsson, and follows the adventures of the anvil-armed sailor as he arrives at Sweethaven in search of his long lost MrKDRrllvl pappy. At first it is almost impossible to discern a word that anyone says, but as the The Easter period saw the unveiling of several film gathers momentum things become easier. interesting films. For those with time to spare Overall, though, it is a brave attempt to THE HAMDRAM FINAL, advertised as the here is a brief round up. transform a comic-strip character which never "Home Counties National Festival Final", In Superman II (A, Richard Lester) a trio of quite succeeds. Despite some wonderful transpired to be five one act plays from thi Kryptonian super villains are set against the moments it is a somewhat confusing mix of the book Plays For Coarse Acting by Michael man of steel, each with powers equal to his own. traditional elements. Even spinach doesn't Green. The plays were performed by Imper al Needless to say, Superman eventually appear until the very end! College Dramsoc in the Union Concert Hill. triumphs, but not before enduring a titanic Mark Smith Ironically the plays were caricatures of the battle on the streets of New York. The film typical amateur dramatic play, exaggerating all maintains a pace which Superman, The Movie the things that go wrong in such home made lacked (as much "scene setting" was required) Scanners efforts. and is one of the few sequels which is actually In 'Streuth' disasters such as doors jamming more enjoyable than the original. David Cronenberg's latest film Scanners (he and scenery collapsing were executed with made Shivers, Rabid and The Brood) will hilarious results. The actors had the difficult appeal only to those who enjoyed his last three task of playing the part of the amateur playing films. According to box office takings — that's the part, which they did very successfully. a LOT of people! Chris Barton delivered his lines in 'Streuth' Scanners are people versed in the art of ESP marvellously, with the conviction and feeling and telepathy to such an extent that their of a ham sandwich. Good performances were thoughts can kill . . . often with mind-blowing also given by Mark Wilson in 'The Cherry- (ha! ha!) special effects that are truly Sisters' as a thoroughly disgusting hunch- spectacular. There is more of a story-line to backed butler, Piles, and Mike Pick-up, who Scanners than in Mr Cronenberg's previous gave a marvellously over the top performance films, which seemed to be mostly a catalogue as a Richard the Third type mad duke, in the of distasteful effects. However, devotees of Shakespearian spoof 'Alls Well That Ends As bad taste in films such as myself are not to be You Like It'. disappointed as Scanners is Mr Cronenberg's The other plays performed were 'II most vile film to date! Fornicazione' (The Adulterer), a tragic opera, Scanners is certainly not a "great" film such and 'The Colliers Tuesday Tea', a grim as David Lynch's Eraserhead (he later made Yorkshire tale by H D Lawrence. Elephant Man) which is probably the most The whole effect was superb, all that went disgusting film ever conceived, but it is wrong did so to perfection. There was nothing nevertheless immensely entertaining. It is both humdrum about Hamdram! suspenseful and reasonably well filmed, however the acting ability of the main star Vale Records (Stephen Lack — a good name!) leaves a little to be desired. But no worry, the chief baddie, Revok (Michael Ironside), makes up for this in sheer viciousness. Patrick McGoohan is in it too — this is one of the few films he has made Journeys to Glory since his Prisoner days; God know's why he Incidentally, the first Superman film will bothered! (Chrysalis/Reformation) be shown by ENTS next Thursday. FROM THE COVER to the record label, this The surprise film, for me, was Chariots Of album oozes class and style. And like it or Fire (A, Hugh Hudson), the story of two loath it, the music complements the image British athletes (Harold Abrahams and Eric perfectly. Liddell) who both wish to win the 100m gold Although they are landed with the tag of medal at the 1924 Paris Olympic Games. Now 'New Romantics', this album shows Spandau this may sound a fairly dry subject but it is Ballet to be one step ahead of the rather more presented wit ha style and refreshingenthusiasm immature 'Futurist' standard bearers. that makes it tremendously enjoyable. Ironically, the album is produced by Richard Abrahams, a Jew, was spurred on to eventual James Burgess, former Buggies drummer ar.d victory by a strong undercurrent of racism currently with another much acclaimed album and eventually became a leading figure in in the charts from his own futurist band — British athletics for fifty years. Lidell, a devout Landscape. Christian, caused a sensation when he refused By the time this is printed Musclebound will to compete in the 100m heats because they no doubt have joined The Freeze and To Cut were on a Sunday. Not surprisingly, there is a A Long Story Short as former high flyers i i the certain amount of pomposity and glorified singles charts, aided by a video which cost patriotism included which suit the period well more to produce than the whole album. — this adds the to the feeling of authenticity. Musclebound is perhaps the most represen- Highly recommended. Vale performs Bernie Winters impressions while tative of the Spandau sound on this album, Roman Polanski's Tess (A) is an epic (two being scanned. with its non-disco danceable rhythm and its hours and 51mins) adaptation of Thomas atmosphereic evocative sound. The lyrics are Hardy's romance Tess of the D'Urbervilles. I One point I feel is worth mentioning is that rich in imagery and stronger than any mere found, however much one could admire the SOUND effects in the film are, I found, rock'n'roll music. But read on Polanski's excellent direction and visual sense quite sickening. I will remember the awful Journeys To Glory was initially conceived it was difficult to maintain interest in the plot straining of telepathic brains for a long time. two years ago and the album was recorded last for the entire film. I'm sure that Polanski has So, if you want to have the full alpha-wave year. The image of the band is still of central directed true to the novel but I can't help scrambling experience — see Scanners at a importance — 'hair' comes before 'lighting' in feeling that pace was sacrificed for accuracy. cinema with a decent sound system. the credits — but live in the clubs, much of the The film still stands head and shoulders above If you enjoy this kind of thing (goes without overtone is lost to pure and simple pro- most of the usual rubbish thrown onto cinema saying, really) go and be scanned now! — it's fessionalism. Though the songs are imagina- screens, but you may find Thomas Hardy just one of the few films that made my stomach feel tively reproduced, somehow the atmosphere is a little too boring. a trifle queasy — especially during that awful not conducive to romanticism and the songs The live action debut of Popeye (U, Robert fifteen minute sequence near the end. (Christ! are not suitable for cattle pen clubs. To tell you Altman) turned out to be a real mixed bag. The What a way to recommend a film!) the truth, it's only rock'n'roll, but I like it casting of Robin Williams as Popeye and Shelly Steve Marshall John Miller

FELIX, May 1, 1981 Page 9 Give Blood TMSoc ICYHA Are you coping with exams? Would you like The Annual General Meeting took place on to work more efficiently, think more clearly Thursday, March 12 and was well attended. The Tues 5 and cope better? meeting included elections for committee posts If you have ever felt that there's more to for next year, the Treasurer's and President's life, then transcendental meditation could be reports, future destinations and further details and for you. about the Easter trip. TM is a technique for self-development which is Nominations were made for all committee practised by over three million people in all parts posts and the results were: President, Chris of the world. It is not a religion, a philosophy or a Jones; Secretary, Steve Clarke; Treasurer, Steve Wed 6 way of life. Brown; Publicity Officer, Gordon Folkard; In order to learn to meditate you don't have to Transport Officer, Andy Smith; Equipment The Blood Transfusion Service is returning to give up anything or to have any particular beliefs. Officer, Ian Jones. College on the above dates. The need for blood, Transcendental meditation is a simple, natural The present Treasurer, Steve Brown, then for treating accident victims, for those with blood mental technique which is practised twice daily made his report, commenting on the present high diseases, and for many other uses, is far greater for twenty minutes in a comfortable position. The member subscription rate imposed upon the than the supply. It is now six months since the process is one of direct experience rather than group and how the price of an average weekend Blood Transfusion Service came to IC, so, if you intellectual analysis and does not involve had still been kept low, compared with recent last gave blood then, you can do so again this concentration. Meditating is a very pleasant and increases in hostel fees. time. If you haven't given blood before, please do effortless experience. It is easily learnt by anyone The rise in the cost of petrol would raise prices, come along. Thinking about it is by far the worst regardless of background. The instruction is only he continued and where possible non-VAT and bit — actually doing so is very quick, easy and a matter of a few hours and afterwards there are standard hostels should be booked to reduce painless, and for the good it does it is surely worth no obligations. TM is not a cult or a belief system prices. the effort. Anyone at College who is generally in and there are no contradictions with religion. In the President's report, Chris Jones good health is eligible. We have said a little about what the technique announced it had been a prosperous year for the Come to the Union Dining Hall (First Floor, is but what benefits can this give you. Regular group with weekend trips very well supported, a Union Building) anytime between 9:30am and practise of TM essentially brings about a greater full Autumn and New Year programme, which 12:00 or 2:00 and 4:00pm on Tuesday or enjoyment and enrichment of daily life. The deep included the Lake District, Snowdonia and the Wednesday. If it is full when you try, please come refreshing rest that accompanies meditation leads Peak District, at fortnightly intervals. Finally the back later. Remember to greater energy and to more efficient and President confirmed plans to produce a full third GIVE BLOOD - NOT EXCUSES! dynamic activity. A feeling of well-being and term programme of weekends. happiness spontaneously grows resulting in easier Since the meeting, we've had an excellent communications with others and more loving and holiday in the Cairngorms where we camped for fulfilling relationships. one week. Leaving early from London, we Through clearer thinking the ability to learn managed to pitch the tents in the afternoon at- Red Cross Week easily and to appreciate studying is greatly Glenmore campsite. Among the more pro- NEXT WEEK is Red Cross Week when we improved. Stresses and anxieties in the system nouncable mountains we climbed are Cairngorm collect in all the Kensington and Chelsea pubs which inibit normal and healthy functioning are and Ben Macdni (over 4,000ft) and the weather and Saturday, May 9 is Red Cross Day when we gradually thrown off resulting in a dramatic the whole week was hot and sunny. have a full street-collecting licence. improvement in health and brighter perception. There is the possibility of going on a weekend We need you to help with 'pubbing' in the The benefits that come from the practise are trip next weekend (May 8 to 10) and again at the evenings and street collecting all day on the automatic and cumalitive, profoundly enriching all end of term. Meanwhile we stay active with our Saturday. aspects of life. regular butty meetings at 12:30pm in Southside Please spare an hour, we will issue you with a Even if you feel sceptical and that you have no on Thursdays, where future destinations are licence to collect and stickers to hand out. need for this or that it's a bit strange, the discussed and advice is on hand for buying Contact Roger Serpell, Aeronautics department, possibilities are so great that it's at least worth equipment. (3707), Simon Chandler, Maths 3 or Ian Cairns, finding out about. Steve Clarke Computer Centre (2620). If you are interested, you are welcome to And don't forget attend an introductory talk in Huxley 341 at 12:45 The British Red Cross Society or 5:30pm on Thursday, May 7. Refreshments London to FIRST AID COURSE will be provided, or contact Bernard Canetti, commences Maths PG, int 4380 or Oliver Kleyn, Chem Eng Thursday, May 7 PG, int 3818. Brighton at 6:00pm in the Bot/Zoo Common Room It is a six week course leading to a standard first aid certificate. Cycle Ride All staff and students welcome! Liberal Club THIS YEAR cyclists will again be setting off to As many people will be aware, the local Brighton from Hyde Park on the sixth annual government elections take place on May 7. Many- London to Brighton cycle ride which this year will Bookshop News Liberal constituencies in London have contacted be on Saturday, May 9, with a 7:30am start. This our club asking for assistance in leafleting and year the sixty mile ride will be starting from THE MOST IMPORTANT book published in the' canvassing. If you are interested in taking part in Serpentine Road near Hyde Park Corner due to past few weeks must surely be Their Trade Is practical politics please drop a line to the Liberal the large numbers of people expected. For most Treachery by Chapman Pincher, published by Club via the Union Office and we will put you in of the cyclists the return will be by special trains Sidwick and Jackson, £7.95. After the serialisation touch with Liberals in the area. on the Saturday night although accommodation in the Daily Mail and a massive publicity will be available for those wishing to join the social campaign, this book deserves its place at the in the evening in Brighton. head of this week's Bestseller List. Copies are still Only thirty people were on the first London to available in the Bookshop. Brighton Ride in 1976, but last year over five Have you seen the new postcards from. Labour Club thousand left Speaker's Corner. This year we Pictura? This is a Scandinavian company that reckon there'll be eight thousand, so come along specialises in colourful cards suitable for all tastes The Greater London Council elections on and make it eight thousand and one! All types of and occasions, all at 16p. Thursday should provide a massive vote in favour rider and machine take part, from children to This week we have a selection of titles in the of socialist policies. The Labour Party is clubmen, and tandem trikes to unicycles. Don't window, published by Charles Griffin, Scientific promising to cut public transport fares by 25%, worry if you've never cycled sixty miles in a day, and Technical Publishers. If you wish to see any more housing to reduce London's chronic as it's not a race — everybody goes at her/his of their books, please ask my counter staff, full shortage of accommodation, to create jobs by- own speed and at the hills a lot of us get off and catalogues are available and any title can be investment in industry and to maintain and walk, so there's a good feeling of togetherness. As ordered. improve the education system. usual there'll be street theatre and bands to Book Sale: There will be a sale in the Any assistance with the election campaign will entertain, food for the inner man, and bicycle Bookshop beginning Friday, May 1. All books in be most welcome. Contact your local labour repair vans and breakdown vehicles. For further the sale will have at least 25% off their original party (under 'Political Organisations' in the information about the route contact Bill price, and this year's diaries will be reduced to at Yellow Pages) or the Greater London Regional Alexander or Ronan McDonald, both in Maths 1 least 50% off original price. Imperial College pens Labour Party, 01 703 6511. Lastly, if you have a or the London Cycling Campaign, telephone 928- are down to 9p. vote use it! 7220.

Page 10 FELIX, May 1, 1981 at the line to finish second; thus with six stages to Fight run after a second re-start we lay fifth. During the afternoon the quality of the World Poverty opposition improved. After the twenty-second stage we lay only tenth, despite valient efforts SINCE its publication last year, the Brandt from all members of the team. The highlight of the Report has already sold over 100,000 copies in afternoon was the twenty third stage, run by Britain, and the response from the general public Compiled by Phil Webb Geoff Sherwood; his was the fastest time, by has been widespread. Several lectures have been nearly a minute, on the 8.2km stage (27min Olsec) given to capacity audiences in London colleges, gaining four places. Dave Beeson ran the final and for instance Imperial College held a series of four most competitive stage finishing strongly in lectures on the report last term; two of the seventh place. speakers were Shirley Williams and the Director Batavieren Our overall position was also seventh, down on of Christian Aid, Dr Kenneth Slack. last years second place, however the standard The report is subtitled: 'North-South: a improves every year so we were well pleased with program for survival" and examines the global Race the result. issues of poverty, hunger, and the threat to world FOR the fourth consecutive year, a bunch of Traditionally the host university puts on a peace facing both the industrial countries of the misfits namely the "Impalas", this year led by superb party on the Saturday evening continuing "North" and the developing nations of the Mark Thwaites, left London, early last Thursday through until the early hours of Sunday morning. "South". It calls for a summit of world leaders and morning to compete in the Batavieren Race, As a result, most of the team suffered from a the implementation of an emergency program through Holland and Germany. somewhat dazed journey home through Holland based on a global energy strategy, a world food The race is a twenty-five stage relay for teams and Belgium, which was not helped at all by program, monetary reform and an immediate of nineteen men and six ladies; run from sickness and windscreen wiper trouble. increase in aid. Nuymeger in Holland, crossing the Rhine into The summit is to be held in Mexico in October, Germany then back into Holland to the finish in We arrived back in London at midnight on and a lobby of Parliament is being organised by Enschede. The field consisted of one hundred and Sunday, all resolved to return next year to the churches and major aid agencies to try and fifty teams from all over Europe. compete in the tenth anniversary of the event. change the Government's attitude to these Our entrance to Europe was in traditional style TEAM: Marion Murphy, Maurice Wilson, issues, characterised by the overseas students with a push start off the ferry. But surprisingly Richard Ashworth, Mark Thwaites, Bryan fees policy, the overseas aid cuts, and the massive Nijomegan was reached on schedule; the two new Alford, Richard Smith, Karen Harget, Phil Hayes, increase in arms spending. Already thousands of drivers Richard Smith and Gavin Virk managed Russ Weston. A Harrington, Alf Garnett, Ann people, including many students, are coming to remarkably well. Conlon, Geoff Sherwood, Pete Holdsworth, the lobby, which shows the overwhelming conern The race started at midnight on Friday. Despite Hugh Dixon. Kelvin Alford, Jon Frost, lan generated by the Brandt Report. If you would like stiff opposition, particularly from old rivals Isherwood. Gavin Virk, Geoff Jerwood. Pete to join them in attending the lobby meeting, Surrey, the team quickly moved into a Johnson, Dave Beeson. where the speakers will include Michael Foot, comfortable position, finishing seventh after the and Shirley Williams, send your ten night stages. Noteable performances were name, address and home constituency to Fight given by Richard Smith, Geoff Sherwood, Bryan World Poverty Lobby, c/o WDM, Bedford Alford and Ann Conlan. Snooker Chambers, Covent Garden, London WC2E 8HA, The morning section saw the team's best WELCOME back all snooker fanatics, there or just turn up at the St Stephen's entrace to the performance: Hugh Dixon and Karen Harget had won't be a lot to report this term as the season House of Commons between 3:00 and 9:00pm on fine runs. Hugh producing the second fastest time has nearly finished. We have had the elections for Tuesday, May 5. for his stage. The stage was completed by our next year's posts and I wish everyone in a position Dutch Hostess in great style; out sprinting Surrey Jonathan Tame of responsibility a successful year. The President will be J White (Maths 2) supported by C Tripp as V'' >. President, also from Maths 2. I'd like to thank all out-going committee members who have laboured relentlessly Pirate Radio throughout the year. Special recognition must be Yes, the General is correct to assume that paid to S Bennet and M Proudlove. there are no suitable sites for the transmitters. There are just two remaining matches to be For suppose there are suitable sites. Draw a played to complete this year's fixtures. They will line from each transmitter to the National decide the second and third positions of the Radio Headquarters; then two of these lines league when the B team and C team play Easter Puzzles must make an angle of less than or equal to opposition outside to College. As this last match is so important to the B team they will expect Weeks of planning and puzzle writing, two full 60°. Consider now the two transmitters on their usual crowd of supporters and well-wishers nights of typesetting, and several hours of these lines. Whichever is nearer to the NRH to attend. proof-reading with my finest toothcomb. will be able to receive signals from the other. There are some unfinished competitions and all (Toothcomb? How often do you comb your persons concerned should try to complete their teeth?) And still a misprint got through. Chance Chess matches before exams start. Apologies all round, especially to JAIT in Bumble should play a conservative game if he whose superb cross-number the error is winning, and a daring game otherwise. This appeared. As lots of you pointed out, the clue strategy gives him a surprising 53% chance of for R should have read R =/(P2 + (N - H - U)2). winning the championship. Hockey Because of the mistake, the closing date for the»prize puzzles has been extended to 1:00pm Magic Square RCS entered this game hopeful of their first next Wednesday. Of course, there are infinitely many ways of victory in two seasons, despite having lost 2-0 to Guilds in the penultimate league game of the A message for those of you who have filling the square, but the simplest is to raise 2 season. The first half, although keenly contested bought a copy of the Phoenix: clue 4 Down is to the power of the numbers in the example, as usual, was goal-less with most of the pressure so that the numbers in the first row become missing from Leo Easynob's crossword. (Nice coming from Guilds but with neither side making to know I'm not the only one who cocks things 256, 8 and 16, the numbers in the middle row any clear-cut chances. The second half continued up.) The (rather appropriate) wording of the become 2, 32 and 512 and the numbers in the along the same lines for twenty minutes when missing clue is as follows: bottom row become 64, 128 and 4. RCS won their first penalty corner. Cope stopped Reprinted with lost continuity (11). the ball, and shot, but the ball was deflected by And now a message for those of you who Object In Motion the keeper to Steve Parker whose waist-high shot haven't bought a copy of the Phoenix: buy a The object is in orbit. Friction with the towards the far post was never going to be copy of the Phoenix. Apart from poetry, atmosphere causes it to drop to a lower orbit stopped. Unused to this situation (ie being in the photographs, stories, other articles of great where the orbital speed is higher. The lead) RCS relaxed and, within two minutes, cultural worth, and a piece of music composed decrease in potential energy compensates for Guilds equalized from a penalty corner. This only and written by our deputy president elect, the increase in speed as well as the energy lost seemed to inspire RCS who pushed forward with there is a superb crossword by Leo Easynob in friction. increasing confidence, winning a free hit just to the left of the D. Mike Cope followed in to flick (work it out like I had to) and a Scaramouche the ball past his marker and into the goal. With puzzle based on one of the most ingenious Planets only four minutes to go, Guilds protested ideas Grey Spider has ever showed me. And Usually Pluto is furthest from the sun. But vehemently but the goal stood and RCS held on each of the competitions carries a prize of £10. Pluto's eccentric orbit sometimes takes it to gain a deserved victory. Strongly recommended. inside the orbit of Neptune, and that is where it TEAM: Williams, Parker, Reilly, Hughes, happens to be at the moment. So the answer And so to the answers of the swordless Moon, Hutchings, Ayers, Taylor, Leinster, Cope, puzzles in the Easter FELIX. to the question as 1 worded it is Neptune. Farrington.

FELIX, May 1, 1981 Page 11 heat for most of the winter but their threats are as tenuous as their blankets. There is only one way to deal with College inefficiencies, kick 'em where it hurts! What's On Southside Plant

So much for campaigning journalism! Friday, May 1 Christian Union Meeting, Missionary Secretary's DIV and fellowship, 6:00-6:30pm, Music Room, 53 Princes WeMsoc Gate. A meeting of all those interested in reforming the H G Wells Society, or those vaguely Saturday, May 2 interested and want to know more, will take CND Benefit Hop, 7:00pm (to 12:00pm), Union Con- place in the FELIX Office at 1:00pm TODAY. cert Hall, 75p including free badge. SU cards are required. Five bands are playing (Trace, Investigations Of A Dog, If you are interested but cannot attend, leave The Vegetables, The Pope, Ken Wood and The Mixers) your name and we will get in touch. plus bar, disco, cheap food, raffle, light show, bookstall... FCS Leadership ... plus more entertainment. Tickets (badges) from Union Congratulations to Colin for flying the IC flag Office or College CND members. in typical style at the FCS Conference over Easter. Well done, Col baby! Tuesday, May 5 / say.' / say/ / say.' Debate: This House Believes thatIC should not assist in A joke for all the outraged monarchists developing South Africa's nuclear capability by accepting amongst you: South Africa-sponsored students on its nuclear tech- nology course. Proposed by Mike Terry (Gen Sec of the Q: Why is Prince Charle's dong multicoloured? Message to Southside Anti-Apartheid Movement) and opposed by John Smith, The heating in Falmouth/Tizard has been off for A: Because he keeps dipping it in dye. Secretary of IC, 1:00pm, Mech Eng 220. the whole of the Easter vacation and is still off. Okay, so you've heard it, never mind I won't Blood Doning, 9:30am to 12:00 noon and 2:00pm to 4:00pm, first floor Union Building. And it's bloody cold in Hall at the moment. tell the one about the baby who chucks Farleys. SCC Exec Meeting, 12:30pm, Green Comm Room. While I can understand the College wanting STOIC Broadcast: One of an occasional series 'Stars to save costs over Easter by allowing the few Thanks to on STOIC, Graeme Shaw talks to Andrew Sachs — contemptible tourists, foreign students and Colin, Patrick, Mark, Tim, Steve, Phil, Martin, Manuel of Faulty Towers, 12:45pm. FELIX Editor to freeze in glorious techni- Ian, Maz and me. IC Social Democratic Society present a talk on the colour, I didn't think they would want to do As numbers of helpers fall off this term due SDP by Shirley Williams, 1:00pm, Pippard LT. All mem likewise to the rest of the residents when they to exams, so will the number of pages of bers of College welcome. returned. What about portable electrical FELIX. So, if your article isn't included, or you Pimlico Connection Information Meeting for those heating appliances? 'Fraid not, they say, fire don't think you've got enough to read, then interested in the possibility of becoming tutors for 1981/2, regulations, have some extra blankets — stuff come and help — but don't fail your exams! Or 12:30-1:30pm, Common Room, 606, Level 6, Elec Eng. the fire regulations as a convenient excuse for if you do fail them, don't blame me and OSC Filmshow and meeting, 6:15pm, Huxley 213. inefficiency! remember than working on FELIX is often FLESH GORDON, 6:30pm, Mech Eng 220,50p (mem- bers 20p). I would advise all residents to withold more important than exam results when payment of their Hall bills until the heating is applying for non-academic jobs, such as the Science Fiction Society AGM, after film (Flesh Gor- don), Mech Eng 220. Elections for next year's committee. restored. They will threaten you with eviction BBC (non-technical). Bring ICSF Soc cards. as they did to me in a similar situation in No 9, Next week we will be announcing the winner C&G Aero Soc, Exercise Red Flag, RAF Buccaneers of the Irish "Slimmer of the Year" competition. Princes Gardens last year which was without Exercise in America film and lecture by Wing Comman- der Phil Wilkinson and Squadron Leader Mike Cunning- ham, 7:00pm, Physics LT1. Everyone welcome.

Photosoc Bin Print and Colour Slide Competitions, 7:00pm, Mines 303. Judged by Mr W H Chadwick MM (CAPS).

Like Konigsberg (which is visited each Wednesday, May 6 year by scores of perambulatory topologists, all intent on verifying that it Blood Doning, 9:30am to 12:00 noon and 2:00 to 4:00, is impossible to cross each of the seven First Floor, Union Building. bridges just once) the town of Thursday, May 7 Kuratowskigrad welcomes a steady SCC Full Meeting, 6:00pm, Senior Common Room. All stream of graph theorists throughout the clubs must attend. tourist season. Presumably they still IC Youth Hostelling Meeting, 12:30pm, Southside expect to find the three houses and the Upper Lounge. celebrated but impossible attempt to STOIC Broadcast: Newsbread, a news magazine pro- connect each of them to the water, gas gramme for students. 12:45pm. and electricity supplies with nine pipes Life Sciences Party, 8:00pm till late. JCR. Tickets which do not cross each other. £1.00. No tickets on the door. Features disco and band But times change, and the three (Sad Amongst Strangers). substations have long since disappeared. Introductory Talk on Transcendental Meditation, Happily, the town's propensity for 12:45 or 5:30pm, Huxley 341. Everyone welcome. topological curiosity has not, and Introductory Meeting to Parachute Jumping, 5:30, Kuratowskigrad now boasts a totally Union Dining Hall. unique telephone service. EI Salvador — Revolution or Death: a film and dis- There is no central telephone cussion on the current situation, 6:30pm. Union Concert exchange: you can only phone one Hall. house from another if there is an independent underground cable joining the two houses. And true to the old tradition, no two cables cross, and no cable passes under a house; each cable What is the smallest number of houses there serves only the two houses at its ends. could be in Kuratowskigrad? Show that your You might suppose that this restricts answer is possible by drawing a possible the number of places you can telephone network of telephone lines. from any given house, and you would be right. Nevertheless when I visited the Solutions, comments, criticisms to me c/o town, my host proudly informed me that FELIX office. There is a prize of £5 donated by he is connected to six of his friends, and Mend-a-Bike for the correct solution randomly that no one in the town is connected to selected at 1:00pm next Wednesday. less than five others.

FELIX is published by the Editor for and on behalf of the Imperial College Union Publications Board, and is printed by the Union Print Unit, Prince Consort Road, London, SW7 2BB. (589 5111 ext. 1048/int. 2881) Copyright FELIX 1981. Editor: S.J. Marshall, Advertising Manager: MA. Smith. Registered at the GPO as a newspaper.