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THE JEWISH OBSERVER (ISSN) 0021-6615 is published monthly except July and August by the Agudath Israel of America, 84 William Street, New York, N.Y. 10038. Periodicals postage paid in New York, N.Y. Subscription $24.00 per year; two years, $44.00; three years, $60.00. Outside of the United States (US funds drawn on a US bankon!y) $12.00 surcharge per year. Single copy $3.50; foreign $4.50. POSTMASTER: Send address changes to: The Jewish Observer, 84 William Street, THE CHAREIDI-CHILONI/RELIGIOUS-SECULAR GAP N.Y., N.Y. 10038. Tel: 212-797-9000, Fax: 212-269-2843. 7 Avoiding the Trap of Mutual Animosity Printed in the U.S.A. Rabbi Yosef Harari-Raful RABBI NISSON WOLPIN, EDITOR 9 The Onus is On Us ... Overtones and Undercurrents EDITORIAL BOARD Rabbi Zev Leff DR. ERNST L. BODENHEIMER Chalrman 11 Of Scrolls and Souls RABBI ABBA BRUDNY Rabbi Shmuel Dishon RABBI JOSEPH ELIAS JOSEPH FRIEDENSON I 6 The Media Battleground: Image vs Essence RABBI YISROEL MEIR KIAZNER Yonason Rosenblum RABBI NOSSON SCHERMAN PROF. AARON TWERSKI
MANAGEMENT BOARD AVI FISHOF 24 HONORING REB YAAKOV'S LEGACY NAFTOLI HIRSCH ISAAC KIRZNER Coming Home to Yiddishkeit RABBI SHLOMO LESIN 2 7 NACHUM STEIN Esther Brander
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EUROPEAN REPRESENTATIVE AUSTRALIAN DISTRIBUTOR Chana Nestlebaum M. T. Bi be Iman Gold's Book & Gift Co. Grosvenor works 36 William Street 3 9 Second Looks Mount Pleasant Hill Balaclava 3183, Vic., London ES 9NE. ENGLAND AUSTRALIA Directives From Washington Yosef Gesser THE JEWISH OBSERVER does not Encountering the 'Image' of Moshe Rabbeinu assume responsibility for the Kashrus of any product, publication, or service 44 Books in Review advertised In its pages Cactus Blossoms/Rachel Pomerantz ©Copyright 1999 Lisa M. Hermon 45' Letters to the Editor FEBRUARY 1999 VOLUME XXX!l/NO. 2 Photos on cover • Bottom right: Part of 300,000 Chareidi Jews at historic Tefilla Assembly in Downtown Jerusalem, Feb. 14 '99. AP WideWorld Photo. Upper right: Secular Jews in counter-demonstration at Gan Sacher, Jerusalem, Feb. 14, '99. AP WideWorld Photo. Do You Need People Who·can Hit the Ground Runni
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Ateres Chaya Hall 1411 54th St., Brooklyn, NY BE'ER HAGOLAH HONOREES: 8:00 PM PARENTS OF OCR DEDlCATED TEACHERS Rabhi and Mrs. Moshe Grossman Rabbi and Mrs. Avrohom Lerman Rabhi and Mrs. Shimon Lichtenstein Mr. and Mrs. Sbulem Zicherman KTRl'V IYOVOS AWARD Dovid and Ester Melber B E'ER HAGOlAH INSTITUTES Hol!i\I' J'.\,\KOV KAME:--IETSKY 7"'.:il, Fo1 ·c;1i1:--1c; CH,\lRMX,, V\AD HAc111:-\1n1 67! Louisiana Avenue, Broohlyn, 0.'Y 1LZ39 • 718-642-6800 Fax: 718-642-4/'.+0 CONFRONTING THE CHILONI-CHAREIDI/SECULAR-RELIGIOUS GAP Rabbi Yosef Harari-Raful
A CLASH OF VISIONS What prompted this? They appar ently woke up one day, and discovered he gap that divides the Chareidi • that the leitmotifof their lives was one and Chiloni co1nmunities in he gap that divides the of"rejecting the bechora- the bless TIsrael is 1nore than social or ings of spiritual richness that was their political in nature. It is a matter of two TChareidi and Chiloni birthright," and now they are painful Tikvos- two distinct sets of hopes and communities in Israel is ly aware of an aching vacuum with aspirations - n1oving on a collision in. This should inspire a mass move course. more than social or political ment of teshuva, and indeed, many are Three times a day, every religious Jew returning. There are, however, many says in "Aleinu":" V'al kein nekava lecha in nature. It is a matter of stubborn holdouts among them who, Hashem Elokeinu /iros meheira besifferes instead, are going to tbe other uzecha- Therefore we put our hope in two Tikvos - two distinct extreme - reaching a toxic hatred. You, Hashem our G-d, that we may soon sets of hopes and They are ready to use any means to see Your mighty splendor... and they will achieve their goals of dismissing the all accept upon themselves oh/ aspirations - moving on a Chareidi society to the point of total Ma/chusecha- the yoke of Your King negation. ship:' By contrast, the Tikva of the collision course. To demonstrate how potent hatred Chiloniim is "lihiyos am chafshi can be, may I cite a passage from the be' artzeinu - to be a free people in our Zahar in Sefer Bereishis: land;' which has come to mean free of • Reuven's suggestion to save Yosefby burdens and obligations of tradition. without a large measure of patience putting him into the pit with snakes The fulfillment of this hope is contin and tolerance. In fact, the tension was deemed life-threatening. Why? gent on the total rejection of oh/ between the two rises or falls in Wouldn't his zechuyos (many merits) Malchus Shamayim. accordance with the patience and save him from the serpents? Not so, These two hopes animate two bat tolerance of each group. says the Zahar. In a place poisoned tling societies in Israel. They cannot These past few years have witnessed with hatred, zechuyos offer no pro be one, nor can they even co-exist a dramatic deterioration in this tection. Rabbi Hararf-Raful, Rosh .Hay~shi;;a of'Yesl1iv~ patience, especially within the secular Such was the verdict in regard to the Ateret Torah in Brooklyn, is a 1nember of the ist domain. They seem bent on tight animosity of the holy sons of Yaakov. Nesius (Presidium) of Agudath Israel of Atner ening the tension between the two How much more so when the hatred ica. This essay is excerpted from his address at the recent national convention of Agudath groups, and it has reached a dangerous emanates from rishei olam - people Israel of America. point, which should concern everyone. who are genuinely wicked!
The Jewish Observer, February 1999 7 A THREE-PRONGED ATTACK eilecha kol rishei aretz - to turn all - and along with this appeasement, offer the earth's wicked toward You ... that tefilla to Hashem. This sina - this far-reaching they all accept the ohl Malchus We should bear in mind that much of loathing - has three avenues of expres Shamayim." the instigation in Israel has one purpose: sion. The first is the Israeli media, which to polarize us. Any measure of animosi intentionalJy disse1ninates distortions A STRATEGY BASED ON ty that is kindled within us will be a vic and disinformation. 'fhe other two are HISTORIC PRECEDENT tory for them. In response, we must set the governmental: 1 the police department, tone: "We are not ready to hate. Nor will which constantly finds ways to oppress truggling with this enmity can be we join you in your agenda 'to be a free Chareidim; and worst of all, the courts, difficult and dangerous, but we nation in our land.' Our fate is to engage which seem determined to disenfran Shave history on our side. Yaakov in a rightful struggle, dean and pure. We chise the Chareidirn and dismember the Avinu had to contend with Eisav's hatred will not lose, just as Yaakov Avinu realized longstanding Status Quo agreement.2 from the time he had received Yitzchak's his goal, without the sina of Eisav touch Our response to this animosity is Berachos, when he had no choice but to ing him.'' to express our own dream of" lehafnos uproot himself from home, to flee for his Even when Eisav kissed him, Yaakov 1. A strategy for response to the media attack is the life. After twenty~two years, when Yaakov Avinu in effect said: "l'n1 seeking more. You subject ofYonason Rosenblum's article in this issue. returned to face his brother again, he not will ultimately recognize the justice of what Articles on how to deal with the other problem areas only feared being killed, he also did not I had gained, and you will concur with it." are slated for appearance in future issues of JO. want to kill Eisav. Yaakovwas untouched How was this accomplished? 2. The "status quo" agreement was drav"n up in June by Eisav's hatred. One cannot combat And Yaakov remained alone... he J947 between the founders of the state and Agu dath Israel, guaranteeing that the nascent govern- hatred with reciprocal hatred. wrestled with [Eisav's angel who cried] ... 1nent would honor religious law in regard to Shah Ultimately, Yaakov succeeded in his "Let me go!''. .. And [Yaakov] said, "I will /ms, kashrus, and personal identity (criteria for confrontation with his brother, to the not let you go unless you bless me:' And Jewishness --conversion, marriage and divorce). point that Eisav kissed hi1n, reversing a he said, "Not Yaakov shall your name be, Moreover, the government would actually support many Jewish religious activities, such as so1ne threat of war by a fully~armed Eisav lead but Yisroel'' (Bereishis 32,25-29). aspect<> of education, rabbis' salaries, and the con ing 400 men. The lesson: When somebody As Hashem is solitary, so did Yaakov struction of synagogue buildings. hates you, present him with gift after gift strive to be alone. How does one achieve such an exalted status? By struggling with NEVE YERUSHAIAYIM INSTITUTIONS his own yeitzer hara - the Angel of Eisav. MAALOT ·NY ANNOUNCES THE OPENING OF A Yaakov would not release him until he was free of the Angel's influence, to the point FIRST YEAR SEMINARY· IN AOOrrlON TO OUR of attaining kedusha and tahara- sanc tity and purity. 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- ··----··------·.. ---···------.. ---- ____,, ______--···------···-----.. ------8 The Jewish Observer, February 1999 BRIDGING THE CHAREIDI-CHILONI/RELIGIOUS-SECULAR GAP Rabbi Zev Leff The Onus Is On Us ... Overtones and Undercurrents
BESET BY COMPLICATIONS mezuzos upon experiencing difficulties, AND CONFUSION but this is definitely not the first line of action or the most significant. he issue of the tensions between • A second variant version seems to be the religious and secular com ews can be guilty of yephashphesh b'maseihem, examine Tmunities in Bretz Yisroel is com their deeds. If there are problems, plicated and confused by various over terrible sins, but in tragedies, and difficult times for Jewry, tones and undercurrents: J then it must be "their" fault - those I. The fundamental goal of the secular their essence, their renegade, unobservant Jews, or simply Zionists is to transform the Jewish peo those Jews who are not like me. This ple into a secular nation like all other neshama still cries out: attitude is negated by the following nations. This Kulturkampf creates an "Retzoneinu la'asos insight of the Lutzker Rav, Rabbi Zal atmosphere of war over the ultimate man Sorotzkin, ';>":;r as related by his character of the State of Israel, and retzone'cha - We son, my late Rebbi, Rabbi Boruch makes every religious Jew a representa Sorotzkin.,.. ,,,. tive of a threatening "other" camp. wish to do Your will." Yona the Prophet is awakened by 2. Political power and its monetary the captain of the ship that is beset by implications create an environment in a storm threatening to sink it. Seven which every religious Jew poses at least • ty idol-worshippers are sacrificing and a perceived threat as a vote for the agen praying to their idols for a reprieve, da of the religious parties. GETTING TO THE SOURCE to no avail. Yona informs the captain 3. The Reform and Conservative move OF OUR TROUBLES that he is certain the entire danger is ments, which are seeking recognition, his own fault, and removing him will legitimacy, power and monetary bene hen trials and tribulations solve the problem. As various com fits in Israel, constantly cast the Torah descend upon someone, mentaries explain, Yona's only sin was loyal Jewish establishment in a most W Ghazal (the rabbis of the Tal trying to evade his prophetic mission negative light, which creates a negative mud) tell us (Berachos Sa), his response to warn the populace of Ninveh, the feeling towards all observant Jews. should be yephashphesh b'maasav, to capital of Ashur, to repent or to be 4. The leftist, anti-religious, almost examine his deeds to try and discover destroyed. anti-Semitic media, poisons the minds why he is vulnerable to these circum Ashur at that time was the arch of the public with its constant stream of stances, and to detern1ine how he can enemy of the Jewish people. Yona was propaganda directed against Torah use the distress as a means for self willing to forfeit his life by withhold observant Jews. improven1ent. It seems that the coun ing this prophecy and incurring a spir All in all, ours is a time of great dis sel of Ghazal has been altered in our itual death penalty, and thereby cause tress, as the status of Torah observance society as if there were variant versions the downfall of the kingdom of Ashur. and Torah study is being challenged on of this Gen1ora. One variation, in place Aside from this sin, he was a total many fronts - in the Knesset, in the of yephashphesh b'maasav, is yephash tzaddik. Yona is one of seventy-two courts and on the street. phesh bemezuzosov, let him check his people on a boat beset by dire straits; mezuzos. Instead of looking inward for the other seventy are pagans, active Rabbi Leff, Rav of Moshav Matisyahu in Harci Yehuda, is a well-known lecturer and author. The self-assessment, we seek to blame our ly pursuing their idolatry. Wouldn't it above article is based on an address he delivered faulty mezuzos for our problems. For the have been logical, and surely expedi at the recent national convention of Agudath record, perhaps one should check his ent, for Yona to blame the crisis on Israel of America.
The Jewish Observer, February 1999 9 them~ Yet Yonah assumes that none those who mock him. Some think in clarity in our commitment to Torah. The other than he is the cause. error that if we are derided for our word "leimor" means both to relay to G-d does not expect too much from observance of ntitzvos, it is indicative of others and to say with clarity. The two those who don't know better. But He the high status of our observance. The 1neanings are complementary. Only one expects perfection from Yona, the Torah (Devarim 4,6) clearly refutes this who has clarity in a subject can relate it Torah scholar, the believer, the obser thought: "Learn and observe, for it (the to others. vant Jew, and it is precisely his short Torah) is your wisdom and under In the time of the Mishna, the Tzed comings that generate the crisis from standing in the eyes of the nations who dukim rejected the mesora of the Oral which he will be able to be chastised will hear all these laws and will say this Law and performed mitzvos in a dis and learn to correct his flaws, and great nation is surely a wise and under torted manner. In response to the dis thereby correct the situation. standing people:' Rashi comments tortions, Ghazal instituted doing those It is incumbent upon us to fulfill the (ibid. verse 9): "If you observe them very mitzvos in their correct manner, authentic version of the Ge1nora in Bera properly, you will be considered an with great pomp and ceremony, to chos and look inward, and examine one understanding nation, but if you distort «remove [distortions] from the hearts aspect that may be relevant in effectively them, you will be considered fools." of the Tzeddukim." Although the relieving the tensions and abuse religious The niitzvos in their perfection are Tzeddukim did not change their mode Jews face in Bretz Yisroel. G-dly and they will therefore command of observance, the fact that Rabbinic respect and adn1iration. This positive Jews performed these rnitzvoswith clar MITZVA OBSERVANCE: SOURCE OF assessment of observant Jews is the ity and resolution weakened the stance SHAME OR ADMIRATION? quintessence of Kiddush Hashem, even of the Tzeddukim and challenged their in the eyes of non-Jevvs. If, however, our commitment in their hearts, thus mit he Rama in the first chapter of mitzvos are distorted, lacking in the igating their influence. Shulchan Aruch, Grech Chaim perfection of being totally G-d's If we want to influence others, we Trelates in the name of the Turthat mandate, then they and we are must have clarity in our avodas Hashen1; one should not be embarrassed or vulnerable to mockery and derision. that is, observe Torah in a way that is not deterred in his service of Hashem by To influence others, we must have distorted. We must be clear in our knowl edge of1iirah law, and not confuse main stream halacha with chumros and kulos into one hodge-podge; to be clear in our hashkafos- our values, our standards, and goals. During the initial years of my first kehilla, there was no mikva or yeshiva in our neighborhood. A fine, fully • The l'chus of living, Breathing ond EJCperiencing the Kedusha of fretz Yisrael • observant fellow approached me one The Torah Touring fJCperience of a lifetime! •Daven by the Kosel Ha'Maravi •Climb day and told me very irately, "Rabbi, Matsad? • lns~i~ing Shiurim • Shabbos in Tzfas • Teveria • Meron •Amazing Workshops I • Kevre1 Tzad1k1m • • Amukah • fJCperience Yerushalayim in Depth• Delicious Hotel there is one thing this community lacks Style Meals• Swim in the Kinneref • Shabbos in Yerusholoyim •Kayak in the Yarden • I to be a top-notch Torah community." Rosh Hanikra • fully Equipped Modern Gym • Underground Caves • Eilot • Glass Bottom I anxiously inquired what that one Boat• Air Conditioned Dining Rooms • Banana Boating • Ein Gedi • Biblical Zoo • I Waferparks • Har Haziseim • Beautiful Campus & Dormitory • Snorkling • Paddle thing was, intending upon his response Boating• Campfire• Tour the Gali! •Daven Va'sekin at Kosel• Light & Sound Desert I to make him the chairman ofeither the EJCperience • Golan Heights • Gomla • Cable Cars • Be'er Sheva • Make Wonderful mikva or yeshiva committee. His International Friends • Yad Vashem • Swim in Yam Hamelach • Bedouin Tents • I Decoupage • Climb Incredible Mountains • Achdus • Tzipori • Arts & Crafts • Our Own response: '11 high class, glatt kosher, Olympic Pool• Grape Picking • Shmiras Halashon Rally• Rabbi Zev Leff• Ancient Susya I French restaurant." •Cairo Geniza Museum• Jeeping• Hotel Hamerchazi in Tzefas •Hotel El Artzei in Eilat • Kanyan Ha'adom • Silk Screening• Meo Shearim • Rebbe's Tisch• Flower & Fruit I The Taryag mitzvos- all 613 - were Decoration• Camel Rides• Color War• Kever Rachel• Kever David Hamelech • Mearat definitely observed, glatt kosher; but the luzit • Mearat Chazon • Nachaf Amucl Nature Trail• Climb Sand Dunes • Mearat I values and standards were those of sec Hake"!ach • Def!e"! Beis Hami~d°.sh • Klei Hamishkan • Hay Rides • Banyas • Mock Wedding • Swim m Hatzbane1 River• Sunset Kumzitz by the Ocean • Tzfas Candle I ular world. 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Moshe Rabbeinu's sin at Mei I A Safe, Secure, Wann Atmosphere In Magnificent Yael Binyamln Meriva, according to some Under the Direction of Rabbi Shalom & Mn. Chaya Glnzberg I commentaries, was that he called the L _12!6-£~~ ~ -~!l.":.."!.. ~ ..!.7!!13.!!;!.~ -- • Jewish People morim - rebels
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MEN'S BOUTIQUE 1374 CONEY ISlANDAVENUE (btwn.J & K) 718-252-4488 HOURS: DAILY, 10·6 • lATE NITETHURSDAY NATIONWIDE SHIPPING (Bamidbar 20,10). This is challenged by the fact that after his punishment at Mei Meriva, Moshe seemingly repeats this offense by saying to the Jewish people," Mamrim hayisem im Hashem b'yom daati es' chem, You were rebellious toward G-d from the day that I knew you" (Devarim 9,24). Reb Shlomo Ostrok (a disciple of the 13th century commentary Rash ba) in Midrashei HaTorah resolves this in the following manner: to refer to the Jewish people as rebels classifies them. To say that they were rebellious in their conduct classifies their actions. The Jewish people are innately good. Deep down, every one has a pintele Yid, a spark of holiness that is never extin guished, no matter how misdirected his actions.
ews can be guilty of terrible sins, and descend to very low levels, but in their essence, their neshama still cries out:J "Retzoneinu la'asos retzone'cha - We wish to do Your will;' even if that cry is muffled and rendered inaudible by layer upon layer of superimposed This Purim, when you send yeitzer hara. If we want to fan that spark, your little ones out to deliver bring out the essence of our misled, mis Mishloach Manos, send guided, lost brethren, we must be par along somethingspecial-Haolam Cheese. Cheese, you're giving wholesome goodness Haolam Cheeses add variety -nature's finest gifts for this special holiday. adigms of the pure, unadulterated holi to "Shalach Manos" -a wheel ofHaolam So this Purim, don't give stale cake, ness of Torah. We must be a source of Gouda or Muenster, our popular Smoked loose popcorn, or crumbling cookies. pure light, and not an admixture oflight Cheese Sticks, or your favorite triangles. Give the gift that's good for you ... and and darkness. We must have the clari And when you give a bottle the little ones, too! of wine, a nice piece of fruit, and Haolam This year, smile, give cheese, and say ... ty and resolution of commit1nent, val ues, standards, goals that are pure HAPP't PURIM! Torah. Only this will enable us to break the contemporary idols and return our brethren to their birthright. And this will resolve once and for all the issue of dis THE MOST TRUSTED l'IAME 11'1 CHOLOVYISROELCHEESE sension and tension between observant and secular Jews. •
The Jewish Observer, February 1999 11 BRIDGING THE CHILONI-CHARE!DI/SECULAR-RELIGJOUS GAP Rabbi Shmuel Dishon
The Maharal continues: Every Jew I. PREAMBLE: We should also take into account how ish soul, throughout all times - THE IMPORTANCE OF EVERY the Chiloni'im became secularized. In which includes each of us, as well - INDIVIDUAL JEW one brief phrase - it is because we are derives its spiritual sustenance from in a long, dark Galus. For 1900 years, its corresponding letter in the Torah, VVhen the principal ofa school summons we have been exiled from country to for the letters of the word ?Nw> form a father to notify him that his son must be country to country, each one threaten the initial letters of the five words Vl expelled, the father may see the justice of the ing our lives as Torah Jews in its own min? 111'111K 1'<1:11 C""'1>. Each Jew is part decision, yet he is heartbroken. The prin~ way. The wonder is not that there are of a Sefer Torah that belongs to the cipal may shed tears along with the father, Chiloni'im amongst us. The miracle is Ribbono Shel Olam. And if one soul but the father's tears are far more intense: that Jews loyal to Torah still exist. This is spiritually absent, the Sefer Torah He is crying for his son. awareness should be factored into our of the Ribbono Shel Olam is invalid. ll discussions of our clashes with view of our estranged brothers. the Chiloni'im should reflect Moreover, every individual Jew is cru nother insight from our sacred A that - as Hashem's children - cial to the spiritual vitality of Kial Yis literature: the secularists are our brothers, and this roel, as is apparent in insights offered by A shared destiny should always be includ classic commentaries: There is a poignant Mishna in San ed in our strategies. We read Parshas Bamidbar on the hedrin (VI,6) that discusses the trial In addition, the interdependence of Shabbos before Shavuos- the festival of someone who committed a capital fellow Jews is spelled out in the laws marking the Giving of the Torah, The offense. When the beis din (rabbini of arvus - mutual accountability, Maharal explains why: In Parshas cal court) rules that the sinner must which permits a Jew who has already Bamidbar, Kial Yisroel is counted be executed, the Ribbono Shel Olam recited Kiddush on a Shabbos to say it twice, each time adding up to a total mourns: "How heavy is my hand! again on behalf of another Jew who population of 600,000 adult men. How heavy is my arm:' did not. This relationship was estab These 600,000 adult men constitute the Rabbi Chaim Volozhiner, in Nefesh lished prior to the Jewish people's essential core of Kial Yisroe~ for that HaChaim, explains that this expression entry into Eretz Yisroel, when Hashem number of Jews had to be present for of Divine pain is predicated on the bound us together, proclaiming: You Kabbolas Ha Torah (Receiving of the Gemora that describes G-d as "wearing are responsible for one another. If one Law at Sinai) to take place. Their state tefillit4' with the following passage writ Jew is missing his Kiddush, there is of" Vayichan sham Yisroel- and Israel ten on its parchment: ?Ni-en -,OV:J ~ something missing in the Kiddush of encamped (singular verb) there oppo ~::i mN: "U-"Who is like Your peo every other Jew, as well. site the mountain;' Chazal say, conveys ple Israel, one nation on earth!" When that they were like one man, with one a Jew is put to death for his sins, G-d Rabbi Dishon i~ Mashgiach Ruchni of Yeshiva heart. In addition, the Torah (which suffers pain on a Divine scale, so to Karlin-Stolin in Brooklyn. This essay is based on an address at the recent national convention of they then received) contains 600,000 speak, for the message in His tefillin is Agudath Israel of America. letters. not reflected in reality.
12 The Jewish Observer, February 1999 The beis din is made up of dayan Jerusalem on Manhattan's Lower East im (our predecessors) were like im - judges - who are the sinner's Side a number of years ago, dealing with Malachim) we are like mortals. But if fellow Jews. But the Ribbono Shel the very difficult issue of nituchei the Rishonim are like mortals, then we Olam is the Father of all Jews, includ meisim: The law in Israel at the ti1ne are like donkeys: If we are treated like ing the sinner. He suffers far more permitted doctors to make autopsies animals and our remains are cut up than the judges. without permission of family, resulting like that much animal flesh, maybe we in religious people fearing to enter hos are at fault. Maybe something is lack II. STRUGGLES ON THE HOME FRONT pitals. Speaker after speaker denounced ing in the way we perceive our prede Hadassah, as well as the Ministry of cessors, thus degrading ourselves, and e tend to isolate the Chiloni Health. this brings about this callous treat Chareidi issue to Bretz Yisroe~ Then my Rebbi, Rabbi Yaakov ment." W but unfortunately, it is invad Kamenetzky7"lll, mounted the podium We must begin by examining our ing America as well. Ignoring this grow and began to cry: own hearts, and then embark on our ing threat can only assure our ultimate ((The Gemora says, 'If the Rishon- campaign .... An old debater's rule is: "If failure. The valiant efforts of the Am Mozeson/Malinowski Advertising {201) 801-0101 Echad campaign may have had some impact, but in the interim much ground has been lost. A glance at the letters-to-the-editor columns in the Anglo-Jewish press shows that our non-Orthodox brothers and sisters believe that we hate them. The secular and Reform leaderships have seized the initiative, and have focused on emotional aspects of the issues, por traying us as the dividers of Kial Yisroel, SllC even though the opposite is the truth - they are splintering our people. Our responsibility is to respond with a media blitz of our own, aimed at reach ing non-committed Jews, as well as those who affiliate with the Reform and Con servative movements. They previously • listened to our entreaties and explana tions; today, however, the hatred they express toward us is unbelievable, and has become a barrier to civil discourse. It is our responsibility to explain to them that they- not only we - are the true beneficiaries of the Am Echad cam paign. The Am Echad issues are still rel evant. If we persist, we may succeed to a degree we did not anticipate. We must do everything in our ability not to repeat the mistake of simply reacting, but tak ing initiatives instead, before new trou bles crowd the agenda. The Shalom Task Force - ~ III. AN INTERIOR APPROACH Abuse Hotline is endorsed by "".,..,. e will not resolve the Chiloni Confidential Hotline 718 337 3700 Collect calls accepted. threat in Bretz Yisroel by Do it for yourself. W shouting our protest. I recall a meeting convened in Mesifta Tiferes Do it for your children. The Jewish Observer, February 1999 13 you want to succeed, imagine that you have a right to tell me how to live? Be municipal councils. The newspapers are the adversary." Enter his mindset. happy that I don't tell you how to live. carried the story of an Orthodox Try to understand him. Anticipate his I gave my son away for the country." member of a city council who, in an arguments. Yahadus HaChareidis is No, I did not agree with him. But interview, remarked that the Russian facing a number of difficult issues that I expressed my sorrow for his loss and olim are a big headache to society, serv we must learn to handle to reduce the my appreciation for his son's ultimate ing only as a source of trouble. More animosity that exists in Eretz Yisroel. sacrifice. We met on an emotional over, a large number of them are not Fifty-two years ago, David Ben Guri plane and became very friendly. even Jewish (which is a problem). on entered into an agreement with This careless remark proved lethal Agudath Israel exempting yeshiva Areas of Concern, ammunition in the hands of our students from military conscription. Points of Caution opponents. Meretz denounced The contemporary Chiloni genera Chareidim as racists and helped orga tion would never have signed such a nother area of concern - an nize a demonstration to protest the memorandum. (In fact) Ben Gurion)s area where we 1nust exercise statement of this observant Jew. As daughter says the only complaint she Agenerous compassion, extreme expected, the dais was occupied by a has against her father is that he freed caution, and diplomacy - is the number of public figures who are yeshiva boys from the army.) It is influx of Russian immigrants to Israel. notorious for their anti-religious a highly emotional issue, and not Seven years ago, at the national con stance. Much to their surprise, they easily defused. vention of Agudath Israel of America, were joined by Rabbi Avrohom Leiz I sat on a plane from Israel next Rabbi Avrohom Pam warned us: We erson, UT) member of the Knesset. As to a bare-headed fellow. He initiat do not fully fathom implications of the he took his seat, he explained, "I also ed a conversation with me, and then Russian aliya. They are becoming a came to protest. I was also hurt by commented: "My son was kiUed in major power in Bretz Yisroel. lfwe fail what was said. The speaker did not the Golan. My son's blood was to reach out to Russian Jews and bring represent me. I know what the Russ poured on Ramat HaGolan for you. them closer to Torah, they will be ian Jews are all about, and I appreci Now I hear that you consider me a another bloc of Jews that we will have ate them." Goy because I don't keep Shabbos. to battle. A genuine Kiddush Hashem result And you think that you can sit in the Sure enough, in recent elections, the ed from the initiative of someone who yeshiva, not fight for the country, and Russians made tremendous gains in the was not ready to cover up a mistake) Sweeten Shalach Manos with Schmerling Ol~TRIBUTEDBY TAAM TOVffX>OPRODUCTS. BROOKLYN.NY 1!l2l 14 The Jewish Observer, February 1999 but had the courage to protest it. identity. Sure enough, in 1967, this Olam to the world at large. We are in possession of tools nec young man learned that he was Jew I had booked a flight from Frank essary for reaching out to Russian Jews ish, and wanted to go to Bretz Yisroel. furt to Kiev. An Israeli plane had dis in Bretz Yisroel: for instance, they are The Russians refused, since he had embarked in Frankfurt, and among required to meet with a Rav before they been exposed to classified informa the passengers was a lady not dressed get married. When the Rav talks to tion. In those days, they no longer in a tzenius-like manner, holding a then1, he is presented with a rare killed dissidents. Instead, they baby and carry-on luggage, pushing opportunity to introduce them to warned him that they would send a wagon. I asked her: "Could I help Torah and mitzvos, and explain the him into the Gulag. He had moved you?" sanctity of marriage to them. A for away from his parents because they The entire area was filled with midable language barrier inhibits had insisted that he not ask to emi Israelis. A bomb could not have cre con1munication, and the encounter grate. ated a bigger shock than my offer. I can turn out to be a negative experi One night he heard a strong took the bag and escorted her to the ence instead of a constructive one. knock on the door of his apartment. bus. (In Frankfurt, a bus takes pas Baruch Hashe1n, progress is being He looked out the window and he sengers to the plane.) He is a Charei made in this area. Fifty Russian-speak spotted a black wagon. He knew who di! He doesn't fit the description! It ing shon1rei Torah u'mitzvos are being was outside his door. He said to him just doesn't 1nake sense! trained to serve as intermediaries self: "You're going to be arrested as If we but undertake to perform small, between the Rabbanim and their Russ a Jew, but you're not really Jewish positive acts, we wiH become represen ian constituency. And hopefully, the because you never had a bris." He tatives of the Ribbono Shel Olam, and new oliln will gain a taste of the beau took a knife to circumcise himself, demonstrate the essence of an ehrliche ty of Yiddishkeit. and fainted from the procedure. Yid. May I introduce two of these inter When the KGB broke through the Rabbi YosefRosenblum once told me mediaries to the reader: door, and found him on the floor, that he knows many parents whose pil When I was in Kiev, a young man covered in blood, they thought he lows are wet at night from the tears they approached us complaining: «Rabbi had tried to do away with himself. shed for their children who went astray. Dishon, you're different than me. You They told him, "You're not going to The Ribbono Shel Olam cries day and know why? Because if you see me run away from us." night. As the Gen1ora says: "IJashen1 putting on tefillin, you feel great - He replied, "You're too late. I'm cries bemistarim - in hidden places." 'Ah, I got him to wear tefillin; after a Yid. I ran away from you already:' Who loves His children more than the all, he's only Russian."' Igor is also one of the Chiloni'im in Ribbono Shel Olam~ Can we imagine the I asked him his name, and he Bretz Yisroel. tears that the Ribbono Shel Olam sheds replied, "Shimon Sofer. I'm a direct \vhen He sees so many precious Bnei Yis descendant of the Chasam Sofer!" JV. OUR ASSIGNMENT: roel, who are connected to the holy let Another talmid had come with AMBASSADORS AT LARGE ters of the Torah, and are not brought him. I asked him in English (since he close to Yiddishkeit? was conversant in the language). ven as we protest the wrongs per We must all try together to bring "What is your name?" He said, "My petrated by our secularist broth them home: With seminars. With dis name is Levi Yitzchok Der Eers, we 1nust never forget that they cussions. And with decency.... So vie baramdiker" - precisely the same are our brothers. We n1ust see ourselves might succeed in wiping away a few of name as his holy grandfather, the as the ambassadors of the Ribbono Shel the tears that Hashen1 sheds. • Berditchever Rav. These are the Rus sians working with us. And then there are the Chiloni'im. They may not look promising, but we can never judge a Yiddishe neshama by appearance. Personal responsibility throughout service - NOT JUST "PAPERWORK" "Igor" was a young Russian man ORIGINATOR OF THE PRESENT RABBINICALLY APPROVED METHOD whose parents decided never to tel1 Highly recommended by Gedolai Hador- Here and in Eretz Yisrael him that he was Jewish. He became 104,l-42nd Street, Brooklyn, i'\'l' 11219 a high-level officer in the Intelligence Corps. J)ay &N'..ght phone: (718) 851-8925 Reb Yaakov once told me that one ))Jt"ON1Dl:lNj7 Vl"j7 - )'1:J 1Nl nll:l:i)J >un of the purposes of the Six-Day War Chesed Shel F~\mi '!lid1 Mesira<1 Nd'ffih...as ~and procfit'et1 by one actiw in the iodtNry for more lhan lwt' a century.; BEWARE OF IMPOSTERS • TAHARAS HANIFTAR SHOULD NJIVER BE COMMERCIALIZED was to awaken Russian Jews to their The Jewish Observer, February 1999 15 RESPONDING TO THE CHAREIDI-CHILONI/RELIGIOUS-SECULAR GAP Yonason Rosenblum Image Versus Essence The specific strategies for an effective been rebuilt almost from scratch. That have to storm Me' a She' arim with media campaign that follow are a attitude calls to mind a remark of writer machine guns and mow them down," continuation of sorts of the Am Echad Cynthia Ozick in the wake of Israel's sur recommends left-wing darling and Campaign launched by Rabbi Moshe prise victory in 1967: The world was former Knesset member Uri Avneri. "I Sherer ';>·;n a little over a year ago. This ready, as always, to shed tears for our would take all those weird people from campaign has recently been revitalized destruction, but not to celebrate our Shas, Agudah, and Degel HaTorah and and expanded, along the lines of many miraculous survival. tie all their beards together and light a of the the projections spelled out on these Recently, Rabbi Yisrael Eichler, the match," says Amnon Denker, one of the pages. editor of the Belz weekly HaMachaneh country's leading columnists and a HaChareidis set off a storm, when he regular panelist on the popular TV political I. A COMMUNITY UNDER SIEGE charged that many of the stereotypes program Popolitika. used by the Nazis against Jews have been Writer Yonatan Gefen announces his A. Rhetorical ViolenceAimelf employed to delegitimize the Chareidi willingness to cast the first stone in the public. Three left-wing Knesset mem intifada against Chareidim, and Profes orah Jewry in Israel is under siege. bers, led by Yossi Sarid, the head of sor Uzi Amon tells a Kol Ha'ir inter In the Israeli media the Chareidi Meretz, demanded that the attorney viewer, "Haredim should be suspended Tcommunity occupies the same general prosecute him. (Free speech in on an electric pole." position that Israel occupies in United the mind of Israel's "civil libertarians" Chareidim are dehumanized every Nations' deliberations: It receives a has a curiously limited ambit; it extends day, portrayed as an undifferentiated degree of attention - almost exclusively only to opinions with which they are in mass of black. In Goebbel's propagan negative - wildly disproportionate to agreement.) da films images of Chassidim dissolved its size. Tragically, Rabbi Eichler is right. Pro into images of running rats, and today, These attacks on the Charedi com fessor Moshe Zimmerman, a professor in Israel, Chareidim are once again por munity come at a time when that com of German History at the Hebrew Uni trayed as subhuman beasts, breeding like munity is experiencing unprecedented versity, told Yediot Achronot, in response insects. They are "black ants," «humming growth: more children in yeshivas than to the outcry ignited by Rabbi Eichler, locusts;'"crass baboons;'"backward bar ever before, burgeoning Torah com that "many of the images of Chareidim barians," "forces of darkness." munities in Israel and abroad, and a con found in the secular press are drawn Once Jews were accused of killing tinual influx of baalei teshuva strength from classical anti-Semitic sources, Christian children and drinking their ening the ranks of Torah Jewry. The including the Nazis." blood. And today "blood-sucker" is a secular media would have been happy Fantasies of violence against favored term for Chareidim. In place of to describe nostalgically a world of Torah Chareidim abound. Not just body-snatchers, columnist Yoe! Marcus learning that was, but not one that has anonymous wall-posters in Kfar Saba accuses them ofbeing"soul-snatchers," proclaiming "Exterminate the and his colleague Gideon Samet calls the Yonason Rosenblum, who lives in Jerusalem, is a contributing editor to The Jewish Observer. His Chareidim at birth," in response to the ba' al teshuva movement the "most dis most recent article in JO was "Reb Shraga Feiv opening of a religious kindergarten, but gusting phenomenon of our time:' el Mendlowitz 7"Y1': a Revolutionary for Our articles in the mainstream media by Israel's Some have even found in the Charei Time," Oct. '98. leading journalists and academics. "We dim retrospective understanding for the 16 The Jewish observer, February 1999 Nazis. "When I see the Chareidinz, sur are subsidized to the tune of over $15.80 Bank of Israel Governor Yaakov Frankel rounded by their large families, I under per ticket. stated recently that there was still fat in stand the Nazis;' wrote sculptor Yigal A full twenty minutes of a recent the national budget, the news reports Tumarkin - a statement that did not news show was devoted to a 1nother's added editorially, "and be did not even prevent Yad Vashem fron1 honoring him heartrending account of her inability to specify the monies given to the with a prestigious prize. (The prize offer find a suitable school for her retarded Chareidim and settlers:' was subsequently withdrawn, by a 3-2 son. She attributed the absence of an vote of the board of directors, after a appropriate framework for her child to storm of religious protest.) Tommy the fact that all the money for special Lapid, another pro1ninent columnist education had gone to Chareidi schools, he Chareidi community bas also and Popolitika regular, sees the Charei and to bolster her case the show's been plagued by a slew of false dim as having usurped the traditional announcer read a list of Chareidi insti- Tstories over the years. More than Jewish role of "taking advantage of the gentile, trading in his blood and laugh ing at him;' only this time with the sec ular public in the role of the gentile. • (One wonders whether he also sees the egregious as these expressions of open secular public in the traditional gentile role of "avenger" of these outrages.) contempt and blind hatred are, far more damaging are the daily stories drumming home the message that Chareidi Jews are leeches egregious as these expressions of draining the blood of the secular populace. The open contempt and blind hatred term "parasite" is used so frequently in conjunction A. are, far more damaging are the daily stories drumming home the mes with Chareidim that the two have almost become sage that Chareidi Jews are leeches draining the blood of the secular pop synonymous ulace. The term "parasite" is used so fre quently in conjunction with Chareidim that the two have almost become syn • onymous. A recent editorial cartoon in Maariv superimposed the faces of tutions for which funding had been a decade ago, Chareidim were blamed Chareidi Knesset members on ants' bod announced the day before. for a series of incidents in which bus ies and showed them emerging from a The previous day's allocations could stops with immodest advertisements building labelled "the Treasury'' laden not have had anything to do with the were set aflame. with banknotes on their backs. woman's plight, which she described as More than a year later, the real cul Every time a news story appears continuing over a period of years. Nor prits - a gang of non-religious youth about some public need left unmet for was there any attempt to prove that - were captured. In this case at least, lack of funds, it is inevitably juxtaposed Chareidi institutions receive a dispro the press assumption that the perpe to a comment about the funding of portionately smaller share of funding. trators were Chareidim was not without yeshivas or settlements. Everything from The implicit assumption of the story was any logical basis. But a photomontage a leaky roof in a Beersheba kindergarten that any money that goes to Chareidim that appeared on the front page of all to a lack of artillery shells for the army is unjustified. the major papers a little over a year ago, is explained by the funding of the When it comes to Chareidim, all rules which purported to show a Chareidi Chareidim. of journalistic ethics fly out the family barbecuing on a memorial to fall The leaky roofs are never attributed window. On the day of the recent en soldiers on Memorial Day, cannot be to the huge government bailouts in the 1nunicipal elections, Nechemia dismissed as an innocent mistake. The 1980s of the kibbutzim or the banks. Stressler, who comments on economic family was at least fifteen to twenty feet Children lacking food or clothing are affairs for Israel Radio, treated his slot in front of the monument. not juxtaposed to shots of wealthy as his private soapbox and urged A number of these distorted stories North Tel Aviv matrons at the heavily secular voters in Jerusalem to go to the originated in the febrile imagination of subsidized opera or watching the Bat polls to prevent the Chareidim from Jerusalem police spokesmen Shmuel sheva Dance Company, whose tickets looting and sacking the public purse. After Ben-Ruby. Some of these stories have The Jewish Observer, February 1999 17 been used to vilify Orthodox Jews Reforn1 nursery school in Mevasseret lem with Ben-Ruby's theory was that, around the world and as the basis of Zion, though he later admitted that there apart from Shas, the Chareidi parties had major fundraising campaigns in the was no evidence linking the arson to not increased their representation on the United States. Thus the Shavuos before Chareidim. Meanwhile, Reform fund Jerusalem city council. One of the last, Ben-Ruby told reporters that raisers used the story of Chareidi arson examples cited involved two teenagers Chareidi youth had thrown excrement to raise hundreds of thousands of dol setting fire to the apartment of a third, at Conservative worshippers at the lars in the United States. allegedly because the latter had left reli Kosel and attacked Arabs on their way Recently, Ben-Ruby told reporters gious observance. Further checking, home from the Kosel. There was no evi that police were concerned about a rise however, revealed that none of the boys dence for the first claim, and the in Chareidi violence since the last in question are observant and that the "Chareidim" in the second allegation just municipal elections. He attributed that motive for the arson was a purely per happened to be wearing Kach T-shirts. supposed rise in violent incidents to sonal dispute. Last year, Ben-Ruby suggested that Chareidim flexing their muscles after Chareidim were behind the arson of a their electoral successes. The only prob- II. IMPLICATIONS FOR AMERICAN ORTHODOXY ll the instances of media attacks and distortions cited thus far A concern the Israeli media. Such attacks are by no means limited to Israel. Simeon Maslin's intemperate attack on Orthodox Jews as "unfit to be considered authentic Jews;' for which he was awarded a prize by the American Jewish Press Association, con1es immediately to mind. And a recent ad on the NY Times Op-Ed page, sponsored by the Reform Zionist move1nent, portrayed Chareidin1 as D E R "religious fundamentalists ... hijacking Committing Generations to 1brah the Knesset ... for anti-democratic ends:' But it should be emphasized that IN TRIBUTE TO the impact of these distortions is felt not Mr. & Mrs. Kenneth Spetner only in Israel but around the globe. The LIFETIME ACHIEVEMENT AWARD Chareidi population in Israel maintains Mr. & Mrs. Charles Deutsch a considerably higher visibility in Israel AMUD HATORAH AWARD than in America. Chareidiln comprise between 8-10% of the population, as Mr. & Mrs. Chanan Gordon opposed to less than .2% of the Partners in Torah• Los Angeles, CA CHAVER TOV AWARD American population. In addition, they Rabbi & Mrs. Chaim Silver play, as a group, a major role in the political Phoenix, AZ life of the countt)'. HARBOTZAS TORAH AWARD As a consequence of Israel's high Rabbi Boruch Pollack media visibility and the high visibility HARBOTZAS TORAH AWARD of the Chareidi population within Israel, The Maurice & Goldie Rothman Award for an Outstanding Educator most of the stories about Chareidim that Mrs. Shirley Fensterheim tnake the news, even in America, AISHES CHAYIL AWARD emanate from Israel. The image of Mr. Richard Horowitz, Dr. Irving Lebffics Rabbi Dr. Bonch Adler Chareidi Jewry world-wide, then, is to DINNER CAMPAIGN CHAlRMION DINNER CHAIRMAN a large extent shaped by the image of the Ra"i Yehoshua Fishman Rabbi Yaakov Ralciaenllach Chareidi community in Israel. Thus EXECUTIV~ VOCI; PRESIDENT PRE51DENT RaloblElyuSvel Orthodox Jews in America are pro CHAIRMAN RABl!INlC ADMINISTRATIVE BOARD foundly affected by the way the media SUNDAY, MARCH 7, 1999 • \) 11 l't'tl iTK '!I ,'l CP' i1N treats Chareidim in Israel. SHERATON NEW YORK HOTEL, SEVENTH AVENUE & 53 RD STREET, NYC Torah Umesorah, 160 Broadway, New York, NY 10038 • 212-227-1000 This focus has, in addition, sharpened -·------·-···- ---- 18 The Jewish Observer, February 1999 substantially in recent years as an out Torah Jews. If we find ourselves exclu values and a Torah way of life to the growth of the battles over religious plu sively in the position of responding to attention of a largely ignorant public. ralisn1 in Israel. 'This cause is of relatively specific incident in \Vhich Torah Jews are The trick here is to do so in a way that little concern to Jews in Israel - as co1n accused of wrongdoing, then little will is not preachy and captures their atten pared, for instance, to such hot-button be achieved. Similarly, we cannot allow tion, without falling into the trap of issues as arn1y service. Most of the con the agenda of public discussion to be Madison Avenue hucksterism. troversy was generated, at least initial dominated by the narrow issue of reli Using current events as a springboard ly, by the status concerns of the non gious pluralism. Words like tolerance for discussion of some 'lbrah idea or to Orthodox clergy in America, who felt and pluralis1n exercise such a talisn1anic highlight the contrast between a Torah slighted by the fact that the conversions effect on modern Jews that it is almost society and the one in which most peo of their colleagues in Israel arc not rec impossible to get them to think seriously ple live is one good way of doing this. ognized by the Israeli Chief Rabbinate, about the issue. Consider, for instance, a recent, wide which maintains exclusive control over Thus our media efforts must be ly-distributed article by Rabbi Yitzchak the deter1nination of personal status for proactive. 1'hat ineans bringing 1brah Adlerstein of Los Angeles on the Torah the purposes of 1narriage and burial. Subsequently, the Reform and Con servative movements were successful in convincing their constituents that the Orthodox and/or the Israeli government do not consider them to be Jews. The fury generated proved to be the most For careful attention to your potent organizing tool these nlovements have ever found: It is easier to sell hatred individual needs, call us today! than to provide spiritual sustenance. (914) 354-8445 1'hc Conservative and Reform n1ove ments have invested too 1nuch, at this point, in the quest for legitimacy in Israel to let the religious pluralism issue die. A major thrust of their campaign will continue to be portrayals of the Ortho dox in Israel as Khomeini-like figures) eager to impose ha/acha upon an unwilling populace by any and all 1neans at its disposal. In sum, though the religious plural ism issue is driven by the concerns of the American heterodox 1nove1nents, the battlefield upon which it will be played out is in Israel. That is yet another rea son why what happens in Israel affects Orthodox Jews in America as well. Ill. THE GOALS OF AN EFFECTIVE MEDIA RESPONSE he first goal of any inedia ca1n paign is to gain access to the T n1edia that is read and listened to by those one wishes to convince. Non religious Jews 1nust be engaged on their own turf. TO be successful, our media efforts cannot be exclusively reactive. We must not allow the agenda to be controlled by those attacking the Torah Judaism and The Jewish Observer, February 7999 19 view of aging, which used John Glenn's ous diets when a certain baby required newspaper, we should organize groups return to space as its takeoff point. Mod it, and all in complete anonymity, with to monitor the local media - both Jew ern society honors a older person if his out any contact with the beneficiaries of ish and secular - and respond in a body still works better than can be their largesse. Such an article is worth timely and civil fashion to distortions of expected for his age. That is why adver a hundred polemics in terms of its Torah Judaism that may appear.There is tisements for retirement villages always impact on the perception of Torah a tremendous amount of untapped feature a trim older couple in tennis gear. Jewry. energy and talent at the grassroots level The Torah, however, takes an almost Above all, we must use any oppor throughout Jewish America, and local diametrically opposed view: Age is tunities afforded us in the secular groups offer one outlet for that talent. entitled to respect precisely because the media to convey a message of concern CAMERA, a media watch group physical aspects have lost some of their and love for our fellow Jews. Oflate, they devoted to correcting distorted report hold, allowing the spiritual side of a per have been hammered with the message ing of Israel, provides a model for such son's nature to gain ascendancy. That is that religious Jews contemptuously local efforts. CAMERA has organized why we associate age with wisdon1. reject them and do not even consider letter-writing groups in every medium Rabbi Adlerstein's article is just one them Jewish. If we stop to analyze many to major media market around the example of how current events can be of the questions that non-religious country, and these groups are coordi used. Jews frequently ask - Why don't you nated at a national level. The local Stories about the chessed of the reli consider me Jewish? Why don't religious groups alert the national coordinator to gious community are another good Jews join in the national mourning on media distortions, and the national example of getting a message across in Israeli Memorial Day? - we will hear a coordinator offers suggestions of pos a completely non-confrontive way. subtext running through all these ques sible responses, information to counter Hadassah Magazine, for instance, tions: Why don't you care about me? Neu the biased or false media report, and a recently ran a beautiful article on a milk tralizing that perception is absolutely list of people to whom protests should bank for mothers unable to nurse and essential if we wish to be heard on any be sent. whose babies could only survive on of the crucial issues currently dividing A second aspect of any successful mother's milk. One of the only such world Jewry. local effort is to develop contacts with milk banks in the world was organized editors and journalists. Again this would by a Chareidi mother of thirteen living IV, ELEMENTS OF A SUCCESSFUL involve both the Jewish and secular in the Geulah neighborhood of MEDIA EFFORT media. There are religious Jews in every Jerusalem.' city who either advertise in the local Jew The article gave many heartwarming A. America Zt:W ish papers or are otherwise connected examples of Chareidi women continu to the local federation, and they should ing to nurse after giving birth to their he first element of an American utilize those contacts to press for more own stillborn child, or adopting rigor- media effort is organization at the stories about religious life and op-ed 'The necessity of AIDs screening makes such milk Tlocal level. In every city large pieces reflecting a Torah perspective. banks prohibitively expensive anywhere besides enough to support its own Jewish It is more difficult - but not as dif a Chareidi community. ficult as we tend to believe - to estab lish contacts with journalists and editors SUGGESTION: Please post this in the secular media. Journalists func on your Shul Bulletin Board! tion under tremendous pressure, and are therefore deeply appreciative of anyone who demonstrates the ability to provide Contest for You them with reliable background mater ial and usable quotations when they are In about 50 words, compose a message racing against deadlines. you would deliver to effectively Like everybody else, journalists convince a friend to desist from respond to those who treat them with talking during Davening. respect and warmth. Relationships take time to develop and should not be • For ideas, see our booklet, ''Talk . •• But Hot undertaken 'with an eye to immediate During Davening." (available for $3.00) returns. The long-term effect, howev • Send in your entry by Rosh Chodesh Nissan. er, can be great. A rabbi in Los Angeles, • Win $100 First Prize I $25 Two Second Prizes. for instance, utilized his contacts with the Los Angeles 11mes last year to con SEND TO: YESHIVA FUND, BOX 82, S.I., N.Y. 10309 vince the paper to substitute a story on 20 The Jewish Observer, February 1999 selecting the Four Species for one on the perceived cruelty of kapporos. These local media efforts - orga· • nizing letter-writing groups, identifying e cannot allow the agenda of those with n1edia contacts or capable of forming them - need to be coordinated W public discussion to be on the national level. We also need a national group to read and prepare syn· dominated by the narrow issue of opses of relevant articles in all nation religious pluralism. Words like al Jewish publications, including those published by the Reform and Conser tolerance and pluralism exercise such a vative n1overnents. Local branches will presumably pre talismanic effect on modern Jews that it pare such synopses of material in the local media and forward it to national is almost impossible to get them to headquarters. We need to know the think seriously about the issue. mindset of those we hope to reach. In addition, when engaged in polen1ical argu1nents, the most powerful quota tions are always those garnered from the • other side. advantage - and they already have dispositions. With the conventional A national foru1n can be created to been. The Internet' alone offers Kiruv magazines, by contrast, readers are facilitate direct communication an1ong professionals a level playing field generally looking for articles to reinforce those who have shown the ability to when it comes to reaching non-reli their opinions. write effectively when there are issues gious Jews. It is inexpensive and open Those seeking information about requiring an imn1ediate response fron1 to everyone on an equal basis. In con Judaism on the Internet are comfortable the Torah community. Members of the trast to the situation when we seek to seeking out Orthodox sources in ways that forum would also "meet" regularly to enter the secular media, we do not they never would be in face-to-face discuss ideas for presenting the Torah require permission to express ourselves meetings. The Internet lowers the psy community to the non-frum world. on the Internet. chological "price" that must be paid for Another high priority project is A second advantage of the Internet communicating with religious Jews. One developing a bank of answers to the is that people enter in search of infor l. This in no way is meant to soften the objec questions most frequently asked by non mation, not necessarily just to bolster tion to bringing the Internet into the religious religious Jews. A booklet of those their own ideological or theological pre- home. answers might even be published for use by kiruv professionals and others. In general, the more outlets and opportunities provided for talented writ ers, the n1ore they will '"'rite. At present, it is difficult to prevail upon busy peo ple to write on the off-chance that their op-eds will be published. They would be far more likely to do so if there were alter native forums to publish pieces rejected by the mainstream media. Sherman Park Jewish Initiative One such outlet today is Jewish Full Service Community Total Torah Community World Review (JWR), a website that •Healthy Job Market •Cheder attracts a wide array of readers with syn •Affordable Housing •Bais Yakov dicated national colun1nists and eye •Nurturing Community •Yeshiva Gedola •Kollel catching graphics. JWR publishes many •Learning Opportunities •Shomer Shabbos •Mikveh positive articles about Torah life by tal Medical Residencies •Eruv ented - and in many cases heretofore •Community Activities •Wisconsin School Tuition unknown - authors. Vouchers For Qualifying Families The newer forms of electronic com The Torah Co111111unity of Rabbi Mic/re/ Twerski Invites Your /11terests 1-800-226-3129 munication must be utilized to our The Jewish Observer, February 1999 21 need feel no embarrassn1ent about his or several thousand non-Orthodox partic her current level of observance. Nor does ipants in its electronic 'forah classes. Even the non-religious Jew feel that he or she the Refonn and Conservative websites are y major media effort must must make some forn1 of prior con1- linked to Orthodox 1(1fah sites. nclude a significant Israel-based mitment - such as adhering to a par No medium, save for personal meet component. As noted above, ticular dress code - as is often the case ings, allows so many opportunities to Israel is the source of most of the sto in outreach progra1ns. He remains com break down stereotypes about Torah ries generated worldwide about reli fortably ensconced in his own living Jews. Internet discussion lists encourage gious Jews and the battlefield for the room. real back-and-forth dialogue, and pro n1ajor confrontations between Torah The thirst for knowledge seen on the vide the ideal opportunity to get across Judaism and the deviant branches. Internet is overwhelming. Ohr Somay our message of love and concern. In addi Over fifty international news orga ach's "Ask the Rabbi" project, for tion, these discussion lists allow us to tar nizations have bureaus in Israel, one of instance, receives and answers five hun get those who are inost active in the the highest concentrations anyvvhere in dred queries a week. Project Genesis has Jewish community. the world. The number of major news bureaus in such close geographic prox imity is itself a powerful argument in favor of a serious effort in Israel. just Subscribe or give a gift of establishing and maintaining contact with the foreign journalists in Israel is a full-time job. But if it were done well, The Jewish Observer it would be well worth the investment. Certainly the Reform movement thinks so. Uri Regev's Israel Religious and $ave! Action Center (!RAC) maintains at least two full-time researchers busy WHY NOT GIVE OR GET A PRESENT clipping any negative information THAT WILL LAST AN ENTIRE YEAR? about the religious community in Israel and recycling this information to Subscribe, or give a gift at these reduced prices foreign and local journalists in ready and The Jewish Observer- filled with the views to-publish form. The !RAC website of leading Torah thinkers on current issues- will be describes the organization as main delivered each month, directly to your door. taining "a unique data base of pub lished articles and documents per The longer you subscribe for, the larger your savings. taining to the issues of Religion and Of course, this offer is unconditionally guaranteed; State." These materials are used for you may cancel at any time and receive a refund for "ongoing research and public advoca all undelivered copies. cy, and made available to policy mak ers, journalists, academics.... " The So order today, an 22 The Jewish Observer, February 1999 public eye, "thereby feeding a desire for demonstrate that there is a second side resentatives of our community - do greater equality in Israeli society and of the issue that is both intellectually not reflect the Torah,s unique capaci applying the pressure required to effect coherent and not based on hatred for ty to elevate us to a level of kedusha social change." non-Orthodox Jews. Doing so would (holiness). Needless to say, there is no co1npa lower much of the en1otional heat sur To the extent that we appear as rable effort from the Orthodox side. rounding the issue, itself a considerable unconcerned or scornful of our fellow Those \.vho atte1npt to counteract anti achievement. Jews or as concerned only with maxi- Orthodox propaganda do so with their Our ultimate goal is to ensure that 1nizing support for our comn1unal hands tied behind their back and lack we not lose all access to the tens of institutions, no n1edia campaign can even the necessary basic facts. There thousands of Jews thirsting for knowl succeed. Ideally, then, a major media exists, for instance, no analysis of the edge of Torah as a consequence of con effort would force us as a con11nunity national budget that would provide the troversies over the Israeli Conversion to consider the effect of every one of inforn1ation required to counter the Law and the like. That goal suggests the our actions on Jews who have not yet frequently reiterated charge that the in1portance of a n1edia effort that heard the call of the Torah. It is but one religious population is receiving a dis avoids an exclusive focus on the con element of a more overriding effort to proportionate share of the national frontational issues and gives equal elevate kiddush Hashem to the top of budget. weight to positive portrayals of Torah our communal agenda. • Recently, MANOF, a Chareidi media Judaism and Torah Jews in the main The author would like to thank Rabbi Yitzchak watch organization, published an stream media. Adlcrstein, Ch The Jewish Observer, February 1999 23 Esther Brander HONORING REB YAAKOV'S LEGACY Re-uniting Jewish Youth From the Former USSR With Their Sacred Heritage From Right: Rabbi Moshe Sherer 7·yr, and 7".J' Rab/ii Avner German, Principal of Be'er JI ago/ah What would Rabbi Yaakov Kamenetzky 7"Yr, who passed away 13 years ago, on 29 Adm; say to us if he could address us once more? Have we fulfilled his last mandate? The sacred cause to which he devoted his heart and soul during the last seven years of his life? Yaakov had grown up in what relates that his entire convened meetings, and he ter became the Soviet Union. demeanor still reflected his was the featured speaker at e had recalled Russia, Byelorus shock at what be bad everyoneofBe'erHagolah's sia,ru and Lithuania as the setting of a once witnessed. fundraising dinners until thriving Torah civilization. And then he During that ride, Reb his stroke - even leaving witnessed the utter desolation that Yaakov sorrowfully remi- his hospital bed to attend Communism had wrought upon the nisced over a spiritual one event. great, thriving Jewish communities and Minsk that no longer exist- The establishment of yeshivas of Eastern Europe: ed. The irreplaceable loss, Painlif>3bySoriBerkow•tz Be'er Hagolah inspired the Reb Yaakov had traveled back to Russia the sorrow and heartbreak, haunted founding of other schools, institutions in the summer of 1963 to visit a brother Reb Yaakov the rest of his life and cried and organizations dedicated to return- and a sister he had not seen since he had out from within. ing our Russian brethren to Torah. left Europe in 193 7. Recognizing the Iron Prominent among them are Nefesb Curtain as an impermeable reality, Reb SCHOOLING THE CHILDREN Academy, Sinai Academy (High School) Yaakov brought with him only one sefer, for Boys, Yeshiva She'arit Yisroel, Shal a Tanach. Upon seeing the Tanach, his t was this sense of loss that spurred sheles Bais Yaakov, Binat Chaim of brother, who had learnt in the world him into action during the last Queens, among others, as well as Camp famous Slobodka Yeshiva, asked Reb I decade of his life. Indeed, twenty Shoroshim. Yaakov what kind of book he was years ago, at the age of 88, he undertook In the twenty years since, thousands holding. Reb Yaakov, known for his usual a major new project, devoting himself of Jewish children from the former calm disposition, was overcome with a to establishing Be' er Hagolah, a school Soviet Union have passed through sense of horror and disbelief that founded to provide a Jewish education these institutions. Many people had remained with him through the rest of for Russian immigrant children who thought that by printing Siddurim and his visit, even evident in the taxi ride that were totally ignorant of the most basic Chumashim in Russian and distribut took him to the Slobodka Yeshiva in Bnei tenets of Yiddishkeit. ing them, the Russian immigrants to Brak after his plane touched down in Bretz Here he saw the opportunity to help America would flock to Torah shiurim Yisroel. An eye-witness in the car rebuild that which Communism had and a Torah way of life. Anyone root -----··-~~-~- Mrs. Brander, a free-lance journalist, lives in destroyed: He offered to head its Vaad ed in reality, however, realized imme Jerusalem. This is her first appearance in JO. Hachinuch (Board of Education), he diately that this was not so. It requires -----·------24 The Jewish Observer, February 1999 years of work, investing n1uch n1oney, toil, patience and understanding. Wear ing a yarmulke away from school is not to be taken for granted, and putting on tefillin regularly is certainly not a given. They start as small steps and become Please send for our kit which includes major strides in a very long journey Visiting New York? Halachic Remedies and Inspiration in leading towards a Torah true life. The Beautiful rooms, with kitchen facilities, in booklet and tape form and reminder cards. minimal goal has always been that the the heart of Boro Park, by day or week. Near Shuls, take out foods, etc. Profits to students retain their sense of Jewish Semi $7 .00 to: Mifal Torah Vodaas. identity with pride, and not intern1ar YESHIVA FUND ry. Beyond that, there has always been Call (718) 851-2969 Box 82, Staten Island, NY 10309 the hope that individual students will No T.V.'s 011e free sample per sh11l. somehow identify with the glorious past of Russian Jewry of generations ago, and become true bnei Torah. Individualized guidance is offered to each student in response to such com plex issues as dealing with parental oppo sition, whether or not to accept a schol The Magazine That arship to a prestigious college that will Covers A be forfeited if the student first goes to Large Spectrum Of Eretz Yisroel for a year of Torah study, or Disabilities And which type of higher learning institution Handicaps will best serve the student's needs. Especially With in Leave the1n with a pleasant memo The Orthodox Jewish ry of what a frum Jew is, Reh Yaakov Community, always advised. While for some, the ISSUE # 7 thrill and beauty of Yiddishkeit is what enables them to make a true commit Announcing the debut ot issue # 7 ment to a Torah life, for others, it may (purple cover) be the parties and trips, the shopping of sprees with their teachers or the bas Down Syndrome ketball games with their Rebbi'im, that Amongst Us draws then1 close. The magazine is now On the pages that follow, we present available in Judaica stores sketches from the lives of students in two worldwide schools, where extraordinary devotion succeeded in awakening sparks in the neshamos of young emigrants from the former Soviet Union. • pieM;e lax requesl :o i~S-83J.~2~5 or email ---·------·------·---·------·--·--..·-·---·------The Jewish Observer, February 1999 25 p~~/;Jww? Join a new daytime program AsslSTANT CONTROLLER/ JR. AcCOUNTANT EMPHASIZING: •ACCOUNTING •FINANCIAL CONCEPTS •COMPUTERIZED ACCOUNTING •LOTUS 1-2-3 •PEACHTREE• EXCEL •MEDICAID AND MEDICARE RECEIVABLES .faiJ. o/J? '!/()#, H«Uf' be, ei«;dJe /o1t- ~ ~ CJYWl/11 Class begins March 8th • End date May 31st COPE TRAINING & PlACEMENT SERVICES Classes offered at For information call 84 WILLIAM STREET NEW YORK, NY 10038 (212) 809-5935 Esther Brander Coming Home to Yiddishkeit From the Lives of Students of Be'er Hagolah visiting Be' er !Iago/ah Keeping Touch With Lena expressed over the years eventually accepted into Bais Yaakov of Queens, brought her parents closer to their Jew where she completed her high-school ena spent a year in Be' er Hagolah, ish roots. Her mother stopped working education and then went off to quickly becoming a top student in on Jewish holidays, and her father will seminary. Lboth Jewish and secular studies. At ingly drove her long distances to the Upon their marriage, Shlomo and his the end of the year, her parents trans families with whom she would spend wife moved to Queens, where he ferred her to public school. She was dev Shabbos. became the Rav and spiritual leader of astated, but her commitment and per the Bucharian community. The two severance, as well as that of the entire The Saga of Shlomo and Ora serve as a prime example of the far Be' er Hagolah faculty, did not waver. reaching effects of Be' er Hagolah's One teacher voluntarily offered her hlomo's stay in Be' er Hagolah's influence. Limudei Kodesh lessons, and other staff high school for boys only lasted members continued inviting her to Sseveral months; his future wife A Long Journey of Many Steps their homes for Shabbosos and Yamim studied there for four years. When Tovim. Rabbi Avner German, principal of Be' er arina, who came to Be'er When Lena's parents moved com Hagolah, spoke with Shlomo and real Hagolah with no intention of pletely out of the New York area to a city ized his potential, he studied with him M becoming religious, joined far removed from Jewish life, the facul privately, in addition to his regular class the school only to escape the low moral ty continued to be in touch with her, es. In not too long a time, he was main standards pervading her local public encouraging and initiating contacts for streamed into the Mesivta Rabbi Chaim school. Whatever she learned during her her at religious homes in her new neigh Berlin. Be' er Hagolah continued to first year and a half there, was against borhood. In the summers, the school arrange for private tutoring in his reli her will. The next year and a half, how arranged for Lena to attend a religious gious and general studies. ever, saw a remarkable change in her girls' camp, and her teachers took her His future wife, Ora, on the other hand, attitude. Slowly, she became comfort shopping for an appropriate wardrobe. was a veteran student of Be' er Hagolah, able being "Malka;' and went on to study The faculty maintained an excellent absorbing all of the lessons in both for a year in a seminary in Eretz Yisroel. relationship with Lena's parents as well, hashkafa and practical halacha. When She spent a second year there in the even helping her mother find employ her parents moved to Queens, Rabbi Ma'alot program, which allowed her to ment. The loving care and concern German ensured that she would be continue her Torah studies while earn- The Jewish Observer, February 1999 27 upon entering college and discovering that she and her irreligious professor any thought that by were the only acknowledged Jews in her M printing Siddurim and classroom, Karina created a Jewish Chumashim in Russian and club to serve the entire campus, of distributing them, the Russian which she became president. Her bur immigrants lo America would geoning activities included Shabba toniln, discussions and close friendship flock ta Torah shiurim and a amongst the group. She wrote to Be' er Tarah way of life Anyone Hagolah, "Thank you for providing me rooted in reality, however, with the tools to deal with the problems realized immediately that this I now face." was not so. It requires years of work, investing much One Little Boy From Minsk money, toil, patience and At the first Be' er Hagolah dinner, understanding. a boy from Minsk, who had been learning for only seven months, said a d'var Torah. When he finished, Reb Yaakov stood up and gave him a kiss. Malka and her Chassan at their wedding Karina's Struggles He then went on to describe the spir ing credits toward a degree in comput itual Minsk of his youth - the er science. Malka eventually married a arina was not one of the obvi talmidei chachamim of the city, the ben Torah, now learning in the Telshe ous successes. Upon her grad Torah institutions, the families, and the }( Yeshiva Kolle!, whom she supports with uation, the faculty did not hold chessed of the masses. When he fin her job as a computer programmer. much hope for her Yiddishkeit. Yet, ished, he turned again to the young boy standing at his side and added, r.------~ "And now, all that remains of Minsk is this one little boy." ARE You Mov1NG? (REB YAAKOV, BY YONASON ROSENBLUM, ARTSCROLL) IS YOUR NAME AND ADDRESS PRINTED INCORRECTLY ON THE JO MAILING LABEL? ne remnant of Minsk, one rem We need your help to ensure proper delivery of the Jewish Observer to your home. nant of Moscow, one remnant Please attach current mailing label in the space below, or print clearly your address and 0 of Chernoble. One brings computer processing numbers .that are printed above your name on the address label. another, and together they build new families, new generations, a pride to their ancestors and past communities. Reb Yaakov used to expound on the Affix old label here verse," Torah tziva la nu Moshe morasha kehillas Yaakov- The Torah was com manded to us by Moshe, it is an inheritance for the congregation of Name ~------Jacob." An inheritance is a birthright, New Address ______deserved or undeserved, desired or undesired, easily come by or difficult 1 ·. City, to get hold of; it rightfully belongs to its owner because of his ancestry, and State, ·------~Zip I he is entitled to it by law. So too, he Date Effective ______I explained, Russian children deserve I Send address changes to: The Jewish Observer Change of Address their birthright of Torah education. 84 William Street, New York, NY 10038 They are entitled to it, and it is up to I Please allow 4-6 weeks for all changes to be reflected on your mailing !abeL We will not be us, so much more fortunate than they, I responsible for back issues missed unless you notify us 6 weeks prior to your move. to give them what they really own by virtue of being a Jew. • L------~--~ 28 The Jewish Observer, February 1999 Malky Lowinger Developing Leaders For The Immigrant Community Sinai Academy's Ambitious Reach Rabbi Yisrocl Mitzman, Rebbi in Sinai, entertaining his class Gershon's Impact little boy. But beyond that, there was experiencing Shabbos. nothing religious at all about Ger In fact, a Shabbos at the Vashovskys ometimes, it's best just to get shon's childhood. became the turning point of Gershon's straight to the point. So when Things changed when Gershon life. It was Parshas Vayeira and Rabbi Sfourteen-year-old Gershon was moved to New York. It soon became Vashovsky was discussing the bris of shooting baskets with his friend Yan, he obvious to him that there was indeed a Avraham Avinu. It inspired Gershon decided he may as well confront him thriving religious community in this and strengthened his resolve. "I want to directly: "Yan, would you like to have land. But stemming from a foreign cul have my bris this week;' he told his Rebbi. a bris on Tuesday?" ture, Gershon could hardly relate to or He did. But he wasn't satisfied until Just like that. identify with this elusive yet ubiquitous he could convince others to do the same. Thirteen-year-old Yan had just religious American Jew. Instead, he set Gershon was now a man "\Vith a mission. enrolled in Sinai Academy, and was out with his mother to register at Mid He became something of a spiritual taken aback. "First I thought he was jok wood High. It was there that someone leader to his classmates, a position he ing," Yan remembers. «But when I saw recommended that he go to Sinai Acad seemed quite comfortable with. And so he was for real, I said to him: Gershon, emy instead. began a whirlwind of bris activity the in six months maybe. But on Tuesday? At Sinai, religion wasn't just a sub likes of which Sinai Academy had never I don't know if I'm ready." ject on the curriculum, but an integral before seen. Anticipated or not, Yan had his bris way of life. Along with his twenty five {(You know;' Yan quietly confides, "at that week. And so did Alex and Igor, classmates, he delicately probed the glo first I was a little scared. But now;' he Ohr and Yaakov, Dovid and Moshe. In rious world of his Jewish heritage. His breaks into a wide grin, "I'm so glad that fact, in a time frame of about eight mentor and guide along the way is his I did, because now I'm a kosher Jew!" weeks, a total of nine students (and one ninth grade Rebbi - Rabbi Efraim parent) had undergone brissim because Vashovsky. While Michael's Family Sleeps of the dedication, determination and Reb Efraim understands boys like charm of Gershon. Gershon. An immigrant who came t six thirty a.m., Michael's fam Gershon had his story- like every from Kishinev at eleven years of age, he ily is still sleeping. But he wakes one else at Sinai Academy.' He arrived has faced similar challenges. Reb Efraim Aup hours earlier than he has to, in New York only ten months ago from teaches his class in a jargon that com waits on bitter cold street corners for two the city of Keminchuk in the Ukraine. bines Russian and English with a smat city buses, and makes his way to Yeshiv He vaguely remembers that a shul was tering of Hebrew. Boys who never knew as Beis Hataln1ud to learn Gemora burnt down in his neighborhood when there was an Aleph Beis are studying Makkos. he was about eight years old. He also Chumash, learning about kashrus, and It takes a special kind of resolve for maintains a distant n1emory of an 1 Sinai Academy is a yeshiva high school organized a sixteen-year-old to make such a com elderly great -grandmother who would by Rabbi Aryeh Katzin ( originaJly from Moscow, mitment. Especially when he's receiv occasionally walk him to that shul as a and a ta/mid of Yeshivas Atteres Yisroel, in ing no encouragement from home. Jerusalem) ten years ago under the guidance of Malky Lowinger is a journalist whose stories reg But since he began studying in Sinai leadingRoshei Yeshiva. The school's program and ularly appear on the pages of Horizons, Kashrus, policies are currently under the dose supervision Academy two and a half years ago, Lifestyle Magazine, Yateti Ne'eman and other pub of Rabbi Avrohom Pam and Rabbi Elya Svei Michael is a changed and determined lications. This is her first appearance in the JO. """""'· young man. The Jewish Observer, February 1999 29 Rabbi Mendel Silberberg teaching at Sinai ... Rabbi Don Segal with Sinai student Rabbi Elya Svei greeting Sinai tahnidim. Uabbi Aryel1 Katzin at right .... ... Lunchtime in Ytwkov Mont, Mesivta reciting R' Chaim Berlin berachos at Kolle/ member Sinai bris Yaakov Klotz with fellow Sinai alumnus, Yossi Rose11feld He's already discovered the special candles on Friday night? "No, not yet," with the Rosh Yeshiva, Rabbi Aaron thrill and challenge of learning Torah Michael bluntly states, "but until she's Schechter ~··""7v. one on one. "It's impossible to be bored ready, I do it for her." Yaakov comes from Riga, a city when you're learning with a chavrusa," whose Jewish residents are totally obliv said Michael. Ripple Effect ious to its rich history. But when he Michael's determination has proven came to Sinai Academy ten years ago, to be contagious. "I convinced two of n the halls of Mesivta Rabbi Chaim Rabbi Aryeh Katzin, the dean of Sinai, my friends, Yossi and Yaakov, to join me Berlin, Yaakov is a familiar face. He's recognized a fierce spirit and a pene at Beis Hatalmud every day;' Michael I been learning at the Beis Midrash for trating wisdom. proudly states. "And now I'm teaching several years, and now that he's married, Yaakov flourished at Sinai, and con my Mom how to be kosher and keep the he is part of the Kollel. He's also tinued to Yeshivas Ner Israel in Balti- Shabbos." admired as one of the yeshiva's most 1nore and afterwards to Yeshivas Bais It's a slow process, but it's headed in illustrious talmiditn, 1neriting the cov Yisroel in Eretz Yisroel. His Rosh Yeshi the right direction. Does Mom light eted opportunity to learn bechavrusa . va praised his probing intellect and his ability to learn nearly the entire Bava Kama, shakla v'tarya (point-by-point discussions) by heart. Upon his return to New York, he found his place at -"-~~ mml:ll,,,,..,f.._ Illness .., Financial Difficulties Mesivta Rabbi Chaim Berlin . .., Easy Childbirth .., Family/PeISonal Yaakov's recent wedding was a true ..,Shidduch Problems Yiddishe simcha, celebrated by an inter ' . .... esting blend of his Chaim Berlin chevra and his Sinai Academy friends. His old FREE SERVICES PROVIDED: friend Alex was there. The special -,.'-=-''-'-;,.-4 • Personal Counseling • Medical Referral ruach l'lltl--·"'l!d!lml'lli![::;'.'...;l • Crisis Intervention • Emergency and spirit that permeated the event over • Advice and Segulohs (ni!rl)'t'} Medical Funds whelmed him. He was so impressed by •Prayer Hotline to Jerusalem the life of kedusha that Yaakov had carved out for himself, that he decided to put his immediate plans on hold. ''I'm returning to Yeshiva," Alex proud ly states. "And I'm becoming actively involved in organizing shiurim (classes) 1469 42nd Street, Brooklyn, N.Y. 11219 for other alumni like me, who could use Tel. (718) 436--0666 •Fax. (718) 972-2787 a bit of chizuk every now and then." 30 The Jewish Observer, February 1999 An Opportunity That has any connection to being a real Jew. otherwise befriending them, experience Stares Us In the Face My son will carry the torch for the remarkable siyata diShmaya. entire family. He will show us all the Perhaps we could all learn a lesson here are currently two hundred true path of a Jew. In Israel he will from young Gershon. A teenage boy thousand immigrants from the shine very bright for all of us to see." who challenges his friends to under Tfor1ner Soviet Union living in One boy committed to Torah is not go a bris certainly risks the derision and Brooklyn alone. For most of us, this is only one neshama. An entire mish scorn of his fellow classmates. But hardly surprising. Over the years, pacha has a living n1odel that connects Gershon possesses a unique combi they've slowly and steadily integrated them with their sacred past. nation of self-confidence and integri into our society. They work in our com The members of this immigrant ty, and his sincerity obviously touched munities as baby sitters and cab drivers, population are an extraordinary oppor the hearts of his many friends. It's time entrepreneurs and computer specialists, tunity for all of us, and those who are for the rest of us to stop burying our doctors and lawyers. They represent an actively reaching out to this communi heads in the sand, and take initiatives opportunity that's staring us in the face. ty by hosting them for a Shabbos, and of their own. • It's difficult to reverse the effects of seventy years of religious persecution, r------'T .. P:? but it can be done. And it's being done BCC IS EVERY GIRL'S DREAM••. daily. In schools like Sinai Academy, The Best Summer in Israel camping/touring program where leadership abilities are being for Frum girls ages 10-17 developed. 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Those who are closely associated with ' the outreach 1noven1ent report a sig (718) 282-6350 / 941-5500. (800) 442-2295 nificant shift in the attitude of the immi '------Directed by Zlshe &D'vora Zelma& ______,. grant community. Yes, there's Gershon, Michoel, Yaakov, and other boys. Par You can! Just call ents are also undergoing change. Through their children, they've become ''I wish I could The Yit:t:i Leibel accustomed to our culture and our way Helpline. of life, and are beginning to relax their HOURS: opposition. Some attend Sinai-spon speak to a Monday-Friday ...... 8am -12pm sored adult Jewish education classes. Monday-Thursday ...... Spm -I lp1n One parent, Mr. Gorinsteyn, had Sunday ...... 9am -12p1n, 9pn1 -llptn Extra hours Sat night...... 7pm - 9pm misgivings in yielding to his son's frum therapist desire to go to a yeshiva in Israel. But 718-HELP-NOW then he changed his mind. He relat (718)435-7669 ed that recently there was a get on the phone Chicago .•.....•.•. (800) HELP-023 together of his extended family. One Lakewood ...... (732) 363-1010 n1ember reprimanded Mr. Gorinsteyn Cleveland ...... (888) 209-8079 for letting his son go to Israel for the without giving Baltimore ...... (410) 578-llll ' Morris, Union, Essex & Middlesex year: He wiH become a religious fool. counties in NJ ...... (877) 4-LEIBEL Mr. Gorinsteyn replied, "There are 50 For addiction problems call our addiction family members stemming from our my name.'' therapist, Wednesdays 11:30pm to 1:30am great-grandfather. No one, but no one, The Jewish Observer, February 1999 31 Jeremy Kagan PURIM PRJ\VER The Ability to Overcome Haman's Perniciou.~ Powers THE IMPORTANCE OF BEING The despising attitude that Haman despised Mordechai, seeing him as too DESPICABLE displayed towards Mordechai was also petty a target for his revenge. Since all found in Haman's forefather, Eisav. human beings are created in the image hough the events of Purim When Eisav was asked by Yaakov to sell of G-d - at least in potential, we are unfolded while we were exiled in the rights of being first born, Eisav infinitely deep and significant - we can TPersia, our primary foe was not "despised" the priesthood which came only despise another if we fail to the Persian king Achashverosh, but with it and sold his privilege (Bereishis recognize G-dliness within him. Such Haman, an Amalekite. The central issue 25,34). That both Haman and Eisav blindness arises from an inability to find of the Purim story was less the con despise is understood by the Midrash to G-dliness in ourselves. For the inner sense frontation between Israel and Persia epitomize their character, for it declares of G-dliness has a greatness to it that we than the struggle between Israel and Haman "despicable the son of someone instinctively recognize as coming from Amalek for control over Persia. despicable" (Esther Rabba 7:10). What a source beyond us as individuals. Who was this Haman against whom is so revealing about the tendency to We experience the distinctive signif we were struggling? The Midrash sees despise that it defines Haman and icance and meaning of our humanity as in an unexpected word in the Megilla Eisav, and why does the Midrash make a gift of G-d, not created or possessed the key to Haman's personality. After the reversal from despiser to despicable? by us, and therefore we must conclude Haman declared himself a god (Esther that it is shared by everyone. If we come Rabba 7:8), there was one person who A SENSE-OF-SELF, DEPENDENT to despise another person, it is only from refused to bow down to him - ON OTHERS out of an impoverished inner awareness Mordechai. We might have expected that is oblivious to the level of our own Haman to make Mordechai pay for this e despise something when we humanity. Thus, when Haman despised insolence with his life, but ordering the see no value in it relative to Mordechai, he demonstrated that his death of a single man was too small a W ourselves. In other words, sense of personal greatness was so lim response for someone like Haman, despising arises from arrogance, the ited that he could attribute greatness who held himself to be above mere sense of elevation far above the object only to himself. Besides blocking him men. He therefore decided, in addition that we despise (see Maharal, Ohr from recognizing Mordechai's worth, it to killing Mordechai, to annihilate his Chadash 130). Such pridefullness shows compelled Haman to strive to arrogantly entire people. The text of the Megilla that we determine our value relative to establish his own value in relation to that describes this decision is difficult, things outside us rather than finding it others, for in himself there was nothing for it does not say that killing in our intrinsic qualities or character. sufficiently deep to justify his existence. Mordechai was ''insignificant" in Paradoxically, then, arrogance is a Haman's eyes, but rather that it was sign of inner shallowness, for a person LASHON HARA ... SLANDER "despicable" (Esther 3,6). with real inner depth bases himself on ~~~~~~~~ Rab bi Kagan teaches in several yeshivas and sem- his true worth. Thus the Midrash calls aman's crimes against the Jew inaries in Jerusalem. Feldheim recently published the despiser "despicable." ish People began with speaking his book, The Jewish Self Recovering Spirituali Though Haman despised the act of H lashon hara to Achashverosh, ty in the Modern World. His essay, "A Conflict of killing Mordechai, this attitude "There is one people ... that does not Cultures;' was featured in The Jewish Observer, Dec. '98. stemmed from the fact that Haman observe the laws of the king and there 32 The Jewish Observer, February 1999 is no value in the king suffering its exis in each one of us. We are thus free to needs (Mahara/, Nesiv HaAvoda). The tence" (Esther 3,8).1 Arrogance charac hate and despise our fellows. answer to this paradox lies in a careful teristically expresses itself in a propen The cure for this disease is not examination of the Amida or standing sity for lash on hara, for lashon hara is an merely to try to refrain from speaking prayer - the "Shemoneh Esrei" - act that allows us to feel good about our ill, for this is merely a symptom. The which is the centerpiece of our services. selves - not by locating real value, but problem must be uprooted at its source. What we find in the Amida are not by taking it away from everyone around The Talmud teaches that the salvation requests for our own personal gratifi us. We rise to the top by lowering the cation, but rather entreaties for the prop competition. er tools to better serve our Father and The Midrash characterized Haman as King. When we ask for Jerusalem, Mes a true son of Eisav for sharing Eisav's • siah, and the Temple, we are asking that e despise tendency to despise. Eisav is the forefa the will of G-d be expressed in the world. ther of the Western world in which we W something when The one thing we ask for ourselves is that live.' Like Haman, today's larger culture we should merit being the vehicle embodies the personal qualities that we see no value in it defined Eisav. Haman is thus a mirror of the society in which we find ourselves relative to ourselves. In today. Just as Haman was arrogant, soci other words, despising ety teaches us to be arrogant. Just as Haman expressed this arrogance in arises from arrogance, lashon hara- free-wheeling gossip and slander, discrediting others - so do we the sense of elevation reveal our arrogance by falling prey to the temptation to speak against others. far above the thing that When Rabbi Yisroel Meir HaKohein wrote the Chafetz Chayim on /ashon we despise. hara, he was not just writing a good book, he was writing the book of the generation) for lashon hara is the sin of • our era (see Gra, Chiddushei Aggados, from Haman in particular, and from the Babba Kama). The Temple was descendants of Eisav in general, is MEHL CATERERS destroyed because of the hatred prayer (Megil/a I la; see Maharal Ohr between Jews which broke the organic Chadash 68 ). How does prayer speak to Is Pleased To unity of the nation upon which our the essential problem? Announce connection to G-d rested (Yuma 9b ). The Temple is not rebuilt because that PRAYER AS CURE That We Are hatred continues. The sword of that hatred is lashon hara. What we learn rayer in and of itself is difficult to Accepting Bookings from Haman is the underlying source understand. We call it avoda, ser For Your Simchas of that hatred, and its tool of aggression, Pvice to G-d, yet in prayer we stand lashon hara. We verbally strike out at before G-d and ask Him to fulfill our our neighbors because we cannot find #:===== the spiritual depth - what Rabbi The Once-in-a Lifetime Purchase Terrace On The Park Dessler identifies as the Shechina - that you should never have to use: which bound together the Jewish Peo Mehl Caterers ple throughout history and allowed us KAKKAIN Ntw Award ll!nning Clu/s Fmring Nouvelle Cuisint to respect both ourselves and others. llith Tl'llJiilWnal 1illttS The Western world which destroyed the ERETZ YISROEL Temple, and of which we are still a part, Now Availabla With Largest Dance Floor In N.Y.C. Cluck our 2Slh Anni•mal) Sptdal l'ridngs constantly distracts us from our deep Call Rabbi Gavriel Beer for er dimension so that we are unaware of information on obtaining Call Mr. Irwin Mehl anything inside us larger than our own cemetery plots in Beth Shemesh at 718-263·1070 516·295-4748 atomized selves and, therefore, recog and other locations in Israel. nizes nothing that speaks of the G-dli ness and shared humanity that lies with- 0 J 1-972-2-641-1923 The Jewish Observer, February 1999 33 through which His will is realized. OF AWARENESS AND HUMILITY ing us with an inadequate sense of self When we pray, then, we are really ask that seeks affirmation in comparison ing that G-d's goals be fulfilled. This puts his intense awareness of some to others and, at the same time, is us in a difficult position, for the true thing so much greater than our unable to recognize the greatness in content of prayer is the ratzon, or Town individual being produces others. Prayer is the key to our salva desire, that energizes our words - a profound sense of humility. Thus tion. Through prayer we strive to prayer is not an intellectual activity, it Moshe, who most fully achieved this uncover the tzellem Elokim, the is an emotional one. How can we bring level, was the most humble of men. Shechina within us, which is the the full strength of our desire to prayer This sharply contrasts with the arro source of our G-dliness and our when we are not asking for our own gance that characterized Haman. It is common human bond. Rather than wants, but for G-d's? not that Haman felt himself great and bandaging the open wound of inter Prayer on its highest level requires us Moshe felt himself small. Rather, nal strife, prayer is the cure to the to find that G-d's goals are ours. Not to Haman felt himself greater than other underlying alienation that causes it. try to want His wants, but to discover that people, because he was so empty Thus, when Esther asked that the He is more us than we are. Just as when inside that he could only find value in nation assemble in prayer and fasting, a couple truly bond in marriage, the goals himself relative to others. Moshe, on she was attempting to repair the of the husband are not "other" to the wife the other hand, felt small next to G breach which Haman sought to and vice versa, for they do not d, and never bothered to compare exploit. understand themselves as separate, so in himself to anyone else, for his con our relationship with G-d. Prayer nection to a larger reality left him feel THE EXAMPLE OF THE TZADDIK requires us to strive for that level of self ing so deep, so full, and so alive that where who we are is defined by our he never needed external affirmation Rabbi Mordechai Schwab 7":1T, the connection to G-d, where we feel the wind of his self-worth. Whereas arrogance Tzaddik of Monsey, was famous for his of His breath forming the source and is a sure sign of inner shallowness, care and success at guarding himself foundation of our being. In other words, genuine humility is as sure a sign of from lashon hara. What was his secret? prayer requires us to discover the tzellem inner greatness. Perhaps it is revealed by another Elokim, the image of G-d, which is our The control that Haman exerted aspect of his righteousness. People deepest self-that essential identity which over us then, and Eisav projects now, used to come to his home late into the is a vehicle of G-d's expression. Then His is an outgrowth of the lashon hara that night to ask his counsel. Even when he wants are ours and we can pray with all destroyed the Temple and continues was an old man, he would respond to the fervor of personal fulfillment while to shatter our social unity. We aggres a knock by jumping out of his chair asking for the accomplishment of His sively stalk one another because we are and running to open the door for the historical agenda. oblivious to our spiritual root, leav- visitor. One of his sons once asked him, "Papa, it is insensitive for these people to come at such a late hour. I LS . . . . TYPE OF CAR OR SIMILAR 6 JAN. 99 know you have to receive them, but 24 MAR. 99 why do you jump with such enthusi asm at every knock?" He answered, "Eliahu HaNavi is on the other side of the door, I shouldn't jump?!" When we can see Eliahu HaNavi in the eyes of our fellows, we too will be I I "7 Y.J freed from lashan hara and the exile of Eisav. We will see Eliahu HaNavi in others EL.DIW-::Ji .········ when we can find Eliahu HaNavi within ourselves. Purim teaches us that we start LT, T '!!.... our search with the Siddur, but not by merely using it as a guide with which to cry out. Rather, we must use it as a mirror with which to look within. • USA &CANADA 'See Gemora: Rava said, "No one is an expert in • POWER STEERING & ELECTRIC WINDOWS Toll Free: ( 1 l 800-938-5000 lashon hara like Haman" (Megilla 13b). Price per week in US $ Tel in NY: 21 2-629-6090 'From Eisav came Edom and from Edom, Rome. UNL.llV'll-.-EC> IVllL.E,A,.<30E EX:<::;_ INS_ http:/ /www.eldan.co.il/ The sages understand today's society as a direct extension of Rome. 34 The Jewish Observer, February 1999 Chana Nestlebaum VITAL INFORMATION, The woman doesn't respond. have to know exactly what they are TOXIC IMPLICATIONS Later on in the conversation he doing. inquires, "So, how does it sound?" In that environment, certainly hen one proposes a shidduch, "If there is one thing I hate in a per nobody would risk a breach in their pro one opens up two lives for son," says the woman, "it's irreverence. tective gear. For tl10se involved in a shid W careful inspection. Ques So1neone who's never serious and duch, the halachos of lashon hara are the tions need to be and should be asked always full of chutzpa." protective gear that keep the toxins of before a man and woman n1ake one of The impression the word made was lashon hara from leaking into a shidduch their lives' most pivotal decisions. By light-years away from what was intend situation. Obviously, it is imperative to asking and answering these questions, ed. know what can and cannot be said. friends, relatives, rabbanim and teach "No, no, no, you misunderstood The line between information that is ers all play a part in laying the ground me;' he says. "] meant he's fun to be valid and constructive, and that which work on which a new family will be with, but he's a very respectful person is simply lashon hara, is so thin as to be built. at the same time." nearly invisible. Often, the line is not Unfortunately, however, not enough Had the woman not disclosed her even thought to exist, since many peo people realize the responsibility and feelings, had the word "irreverent" not ple take it for granted that any question power that lie in the answers they pro been clarified, the damage would have about a shidduch can and should be vide or withhold. Words spoken or been done. The shidduch would have answered. silenced may not only make or break a been shattered for absolutely no reason. Nor is it even a straight line. There shidduch, but individual lives as well. In n1ost situations, derogatory is a crucial difference between what is A man receives a phone call fron1 a remarks spoken about a third person allowable when a shidduch is under con woman investigating a shidduch for her constitute lashon hara. Those same sideration, and what can be disclosed daughter. He knows the potential words spoken to supply information for once a couple is engaged. Discerning chasan, v..rho is his cousin, quite well. In a shidduch may well be permitted. Or, this line requires a comprehensive fact, he and this cousin are on very close, depending on circumstances, they may understanding of the relevant halachos. friendly terms. He's happy to detail all still be lashon hara. So, any Jew trying the cousin's many wonderful traits, to fulfill his obligation to help find a A DOSSIER OF MISINFORMATION and one of them is his intelligent wit. spouse for an unmarried n1an or AND SPECULATION "I would say he's irreverent;' the man woman is forced to tread perilously close says, trying to convey the cousin's off to a highly destructive force. ll too often, the well-meaning beat sense of humor. It is as if the people associated with hunt for information only results a shidduch worked in a nuclear power in the amassing of a dossier that Chana N;;tJ~haum is a free-lance writer, livi;g A in Lakewuod, NJ, for the past ten years. She has plant. They're surrounded by highly is packed with off-the-cuff impres wTitten cxtensibly for the Chofetz Chai1n Her toxic materials. Were they to lean on the sions, mistaken assumptions and sec itage Foundation. This is her first appearance in wrong button, they would release a force ondhand information. And from this, these pages. The author acknowledges Miss Bayla S. Jacobs of Monsey for the information she pro whose har1n may never be contained. the future is decided. vided for this article. They have to be where they are, but they Since nlost of us view our opinions The Jewish Observer, February T999 35 as fact, we feel justified and qualified to most people assume, "There must be at spell "cat." The verdict? She was a poor stu offer our impressions of people. Yet, least a germ of truth." dent. everyone is aware of just how fallible Once a judgment is put into words, The girl's family knows someone who first impressions are. Most people have it takes on a life of its own. To measure lives on the boy's block. Some unpleasantries had the experience of discovering the power of negative assessn1ents, one had passed between the two families when whole new facets of a person's nature need only consider his own set of the boy's father slipped on ice that had been as they become better acquainted. The assumptions. How likely is someone to left unshoveled in front of this particular person who never smiles turns out to patronize a restaurant that a friend neighbor's house. The verdict? A meddle have a dry sense of humor. The one described as a "greasy spoon joint"? To some, vindictive family. Horrible in-law who seems to have nothing to say turns shop at a store someone has labeled "a material. out to be highly intelligent and con rip-off"? To hire a secretary others have In either of these cases, the infor templative. Without a deeper under called "a scatterbrain"? mation is based on a partial, fleeting and standing of another person, one can All these evaluations create a new ultimately misleading view of the sub almost be sure that his impressions are reality for the people who hear them. jects in question. And yet, the possibility at least partially inaccurate. The listener believes, and adopts as his of this shidduch going much further Yet, many people do not let this like own, the perceptions shared with him. would seem irrevocably dimmed. lihood prevent them from offering As a result, someone who may have their judgment as fact. The drive to received fair, open-minded considera FRAGMENTED VISIONS judge and compare people is a strong tion now appears with a cloud over his one. When one is asked information for head. And the cause of it all might well .th the exception of close a shidduch, the brakes are released and be a total misapprehension on the part friends and family members, this drive goes forward, full-force. of the speaker. W:people with whom contact has Unfortunately, human nature is such A young man's family considers a girl. been consistent and meaningful, most that, if the information being relayed is They know someone who taught English in impressions of others are based on negative, it has even more credibility the school she attended. The girl was a similarly unrepresentative fragments. Yet than the positive. Hearing the negative, mathematical genius, but could barely most people are willing to offer up their fragments, with no hesitations at all, in the belief that they are being helpful. ou travel to This belief, however, leads many unwittingly into lashon hara. Investi gating the situation and finding out how the halacha applies are essential first steps to avoiding potential disaster. "When dealing with something as subjective as an opinion, a person is bet ter off simply stating, 'I don't know;" says Rabbi Yitzchak Berkowitz, head of Aish HaTorah Semicha Program m • Low Discount Rental Rates~----.,.· Jerusalem. In making the statement, "I don't • FREE incoming calls from know;' every effort must be made to anywhere in the world convey that this is not being said to avoid • Next-day delivery nationwide giving negative information. He must state what "I don't know" means- precisely and only that he doesn't know the person well enough to answer a particular question. Even when comments are based on 1.877.235.5746 a fuller view of a person, the informa tion is, by definition, filtered through the • Free delivery in Brooklyn biases of the speaker. Everyone has his • Cellphone & number provided prior to departure own world view, and everyone judges • Itemized bill provided upon return others in light of it. As one woman jok ingly put it, "If you're more religious CELL PHONES AVAILABLE FOR 100 COUNTRIES than I am, you're a fanatic. If you're less 36 The Jewish Observer, February 1999 religious, you're an apikores." And while most Jews have a wider range of vision than that, the fact is that one • invariably judges a situation from his t is as if the people own vantage point. Iassociated with a WHEN SILENCE IS DESTRUCTIVE shidduch worked in a nuclear power plant. iven the potential for speaking (7 t 8) 972-4003 improperly, and the potential for They're surrounded by :"!-~.,~ .... Gthat information to do gen .,b:::>tvlllfllli\lll uine, long-term damage to other peo highly toxic materials. ple's lives, there is a strong temptation to "take the Fifth" and refuse to offer any Were they to lean on infor1nation. 'fhat, however, can be an the wrong button, they equally wrong strategy. Clearly, there are situations in which would release a force damaging information must be shared. The Torah expressly states the prohibi whose harm may never tion, "You shall not stand idly by the be contained. They blood of your fellow man:' A Jew is not permitted to knowingly allow another have to be where they to come to harm. There are serious, even dangerous flaws in mental health, are, but they have to character, religious commitment or know exactly what they other areas that, if left unspoken, could subject one or both partners to a life of are doing. misery; failing to reveal these facts constitutes a violation of this Torah pre cept. • Even if one is the lone witness to this obviously can affect objectivity. some negative fact, and would therefore There is a further hazard. Talking to be disallowed from testifying against the the party who did the "dumping" can person in beis din, he may still be oblig serve to devalue a perfectly suitable ated to reveal it. In these types of situ potential match. People are not gener- ations, asking a rav for guidance is always the best course of action. BEWARE OF HURT FEELINGS FREE en and women who have already dated an individual are COMPUTER Moften the source of informa tion for friends who have been suggested COURSE for the same person. For Women Coping On Their Own This, however, is one wellspring of (Widol-ved, Divorced, Separated) information that is quite possibly poi soned by bad feelings. One important 30 Hours of criterion for accepting an ex-date's Instruction -Day Classes assessment is, how long did the couple date? One meeting tells a person only For More Information or one thing-how this person behaves in To Register, a high-pressure, ego-on-the-line situa tion. Secondly, it is important to know which party cut off the relationship, as The Jewish Observer, February 1999 37 ally enthusiastic about accepting some THE SHADCHAN'S ROLE shadchanim who tell me I'm too old and one else's "reject" even if the reason for too tall.' My heart broke.'' Mrs. rejection was a matter that has no bear he Torah equates the act of set Hellman said. "We are in the business ing at all on the second shidduch. ting up a shidduch with the mitz to be mechazek people, and that means There are strict parameters as to what Tva of tzeddaka, according to treating them with respect and always type of information one can supply Rabbi Berkowitz: "You have to under thinking before we speak. We're about someone he has already met. For stand each individual's needs. Just dealing with people's lives. It's a example, a person is not permitted to say because two people are more or Jess the tremendous responsibility." he got "vibes" on a shidduch that the girl same height or age doesn't mean Every party involved in a shidduch was not a giving person. A problem can they're for each other," he says. bears the weight of this responsibility only be reported about an issue that the "Lashon hara is less of a problem when - the shadchan, those from whom next candidate would not be able to dis the shadchan puts careful thought information is being requested, and cern on his own. And even then, there into the match:' those who are seeking a shidduch. But are limits. Interaction with the shadchan is a at times - especially when a man or process that in itself poses difficult woman has been dating unsuccessful Shmiras Halashon (Guarding One's ly for a long time - the weight can Speech) questions. When a match seem too much to bear. The level of doesn't click, the shadchan wants to frustration is high, and talking is know why, so as to better understand often the only way to vent it. what each party is looking for, as well Here again, Shmiras Halashon has to as to have a better idea of the impres be the guide. Out of frustration, for sion each party makes. But the need mer dates may be ridiculed or berat to communicate with the shadchan also ed, their reputations damaged, when has to be measured against the stan their only sin was not being right for dards of Shmiras Halashon, making the other person. Yet, Torah recognizes sure that only useful, well-grounded the need to relieve emotional stress, information is related. and there are times, places and ways to Finally, there are the pitfalls facing get needed psychological comfort, all the shadchan himself. He is dealing outlined within halacha. with men and women who, in some cases, may already have a long, unhap STEERING CLEAR py shidduch history. Their self csteem may be fragile; their hopes may ven without a full knowledge of be teetering on a precarious edge. The halacha, taking just two simple potential for ona'as devarim, causing Esteps could go far in drastically pain with words, is enormous. reducing the heartbreak caused by Lea Hellman, a shadchan from Far misguided shidduch discussions. Rockaway, recalls "a single young lady Everyone who asks for information who introduced herself by saying, 'I hope should preface his request with the you're not going to be one of those question, "How well do you know this person?" And everyone who provides an answer should first consider, "On Offer is valid what am I basing my opinion?" Those Jan. 6 - March 15 '99 two brief, preliminary questions would ~" Invei appreciably staunch the vast majority '8aslid on minimum 7 dltfS of car category A, excluding fr~('( of unintentional lashon hara and mis insuF8nC 38 The Jewish Observer, February 1999 ;:,econd Looks Yosef Gesser Public Spin on Private Sins :\•\ v es ~ tiheyu - You shall be holy, for !, Hashem your G-d, am holy" ( Vayikra everal months ago, Agudath ~.\:J ~~ 19,2); whereupon Rashi comments Israel of America issued a state- J! "-' ~ i, that the definition of the holiness Sment concerning the scandal • ...... _.,,, """""' mentioned here means desisting involving President Clinton. The ~~~ i from lnstful practices that are statement asserted that "the spiritually injurious. Further- office of the presidency has more, this section was to be been severely diminished by taught initially at a complete the conduct of the president. assemblage of the Jewish America's preeminent role in nation, a departure fro1n the the world today demands that usual procedure of first the president enjoy the full imparting the laws privately, degree of moral authority neces- because the Torah's most fun- sary to provide firm leadership ...." ~ damental laws are included The legislative branch of the ~s therein. U.S. government, apparently harbor- lj ing strong feelings concerning these I N events, is iinpeaching a president for the first tin1e in 130 years. Be that as it may, the general public unequivocally have no contact with reaction seems to reflect quite a differ contain valuable lessons. All of us have them, but it does tell us that we as ent perspective of things. Polls taken of contact with the outside, non-Jewish Jews are called upon to introduce, to the American population since news of world and it serves as yet another the best of our ability, kedusha (holi the scandal broke have shown that most reminder- albeit a most poignant one ness) into our lives. This element of people feel that severe character flaws - of bow 1orah values are at odds with sanctity applies to various aspects of don't adversely affect one's ability to gov those of the secular world. our lives - in our communication, ern. The president's approval rating has In Parshas Naso (Bamidbar 6,2), our attire, and our demeanor. We stayed high, and one of the reasons we find that the section of the nazir should surely be wary of being influ offered is that his actions inirror, to son1e (one who takes upon himself a vow enced by those who do not have this extent~ the values and attitudes of many of abstinence from wine~ cutting charge of kedoshirn tiheyu! in our current age of tolerance. "We all hair, and contact with a corpse) We and our children are exposed to have a little Clinton in us ... that's one of immediately follows that of the sota many harmful elements that abound in the reasons he re1nains so popular;' is (a wife suspected of infidelity). Rashi the world. Yet, there are steps we can how one news source ( Thne Magazine) (quoting Meseches Sota 2a) points take to reduce the effects of such expo explained it. out the following lesson from this sure. For one thing, we can minimize The comments that follow are not juxtaposition: One who observes a intended to dwell on the political or sota in her state of shame should sociological ramifications of this unfor refrain from drinking wine through tunate 1natter. Our focus rather is to becoming a nazir. examine \Vhat this revealing sentiment In our times, both of these concepts - representing a broad consensus are no longer found on a practical (which, by the way is not limited to the level. Yet, from here we can perhaps U.S.)- means or the Orthodox world. understand that upon witnessing a This public reaction is important and disgraceful situation such as that of the instructive to us. The masters of mus sota, passivity is inappropriate; if sar (Torah ethics) have taught that the only to counteract its effects upon us, phenomena we observe in the world some form of active response is in place. Rabbi Gesser presently resides in Mexico City, where he !earns part-ti1nc in a kollcl. A '"'Titer whose articles have appeared in various publi The "Kedoshim Tiheyu" Imperative cations, he has assisted in the production of n1any published Torah works in English. His he Torah later relates that Moshe essay, "Post-Yorn Kippur Reflections: From For More Information Fasting to Feasting ... to Triumph?'"' was featured Rabbeinu was told by G-d to Call Mrs. Schonfeld in JO ()ct '98. Tinstruct the people, "Kedoshim (718) :s 76-5545 ------·------~-·------·------The Jewish Observer, February 1999 39 such exposure by reevaluating how we unrestricted access to the lnternet. are part of our lives - people who utilize the miracles of modern tech And we can actively seek to emulate the have exemplary character and yiras nology - including TV, videos and conduct of positive role models who Shamayim. Reb Zalman Arye Hilsenrad, ':n, who was noted for his efforts at spreading Torah and acts ofchessed, related a story about a yeshiva grad uate who worked in an environment i{'·'···.'.".','•,:.,., .•. '·", .···. :' '··.·· ' .'· ': ' ,< ' ' :9 that was ininrical to his values. He d1str1butes Matanos Levyon1m sought guidance for keeping his Yid on Purim dishkeit intact despite the adverse influences of his workplace. A Chas Call or write sidic Rebbe advised him to study Torah every day for ten minutes, at the YAO ELIEZEK YAD ELIEZEK start of his workday, specificaII)' at his desk in this office, a commitment to c/o Tropper 718-258-1580 We Jwve beautt'f uI be upheld no matter what. The fel· I I 02 E. 26th Street · or Toll Free low testified that faithfully following Brooklyn, NY I 1210 Mishtoacli Manos 888-354-3737 this advice was a tremendous aid cards 888-(ELIESER) toward spiritual self-preservation. " .. Putting Advancement Please mark your envelope clearly "For Matanos Levyonim" on the Agenda ,.,,,. utting things into perspective, it is worthwhile to recall the words Bnos Agudoth Israel of Possoic, NJ Pof the teftlla we recite on the fes· expresses it's heartfelt appreciation to Bnos Agudath Israel of America tivals: "You have chosen us from all the and its very dedicated Director, Mrs. Leah Zagelbaum "nn nations. You exalted us above all the for giving us the opportunity to host this year's tongues. You sanctified us with Your National Bnos leadership Convention, and for all your help. commandments.... " Many of us invest May n'""'1 bless you with continued much time, effort, and expense on """""'"'"""' in all your endeavors. career advancement. Success in the sec Thank you very much, ular world is a worthwhile goal, and the Mrs. R. Landsberg, Mrs. T. Klugmann economic security it often brings is nothing to be played down, especially given the higher cost of living incurred by Orthodox families. But pursuit of success in that world should not be con fused with identifying with its values, and should not overshadow a Jew's recognition of his exalted status as a member of a" mamleches kohanim v'goy kadosh - a kingdom of priests, a holy nation." Entire Hotel Koslwr J.:i"esach • llips for a// ages to majOr attracrio11s We are all affected to some degree by • UauriousActomodations Prof Dayt.nmpa11d8ab)sitti11g 10,000Sq.Ft.lnbby Shmura Maaah. OwlovYisroel and what we see and hear. The public reac Ouersiuci Roomr uJith Balronies Non· Ge/:lrokt tion to the developments in Washing· Breatlua king Oram and Bay Views Strictest Rabbiuic Supen1isio11 ton should shake us up, since these Shiun'm,Lxtures. and dii/drenS Pools, Filllt'SS Center and Sa1111a events and the way the public at large Se}J{lmte Swimmi11g l2amingProgmm interprets them and applies them to • AerobiCa11dJsme/iDa11c111g ArlistiJ.: Gourmet Cuisine C..o/j.Par 72, Tem1is, Baskerbal/... • Spccracular Buffets their personal lives are hardly consonant Jusi20 minutes from Miami &tuh with Torah life. What better time than the present to rededicate ourselves to the ideals and values that we hold dear! • 40 The Jewish Observer, February 1999 SECOND ______LOOKS 1 Encountering the "Image" of Moshe Rabbeinu Are Our Mental Perceptions Keeping Pace The obvious iinplications are that we esis series on PBS. (See JO Dec. '96.) With Our Maturity? must take care to guide our children's Who would expect better? conception of Moshe Rabbeinu along People, however, may not be fore hat was Moshe Rabbeinu like? lofty lines, and then see to it that it warned. The Prince of Egypt, described That is, what was he really matures, as they mature. And at the W like? Of course, when we were same time, it would be prudent to do the in Cheder or Bais Yaakov, we all had our san1e for ourselves. Our Ahavas Torah Moshe Rabbeinu childish conceptions of the Teacher of - our love for Torah - will surely ben in Chazal the Law, and the way we assumed we efit as a result of our enhanced appre • Moshe resembled ali angel. of would relate to him. ciation for the prime teacher of Torah G-d. (firkei d'Rabbi £1"'1:er 48}; his face As Rabbi Yaakov Kamenetzky 7"'1! to all generations. was like the. sun as a sign of his out once pointed out, no adult would con standing Torah wisdom - Maharsha, sider wearing the same di1ninutive arba The Current Relevance of This Concern Bava. Basra 75a. kanfos (four-cornered garment, with • He. was the equivalent of tzitzis) that he had put on with great hy bring this up now? 600,000 of Israel (/'Aechilta - see excitement as a three-year-old. As a Because Dreamworks Pic Rashi on Shemos 18, I), and from .the grown n1an, he V\i'ou)d "\Vear a full-sized W tures has produced a "break day of his birth the Shechina never garment. Unfortunately, said the Rosh through" animated film on the life of departed from him (Zahar l: I 20b). Yeshiva, many people nurture their Moses, called "The Prince of Egypt." • Moshe was the father of all childish impressions of major figures The immediate response of the vast prophets (Devarim Rabba 3:9), and and events in the Torah, and - as if majority of JO readers will undoubt the only one with whom G-d hermetically sealed in their minds - edly be "So what? What does this have spoke face-to-face, and in a clear never permit them to mature ... like a to do with me?" .vision (Bamidbar 2,8). grown man hanging on to his first-time, Truth be told, any discerning diver • He was the most humble of 5-inch-by-5-inch arba kanfos. sion-seeker should know by now that men (ibid. v. 3), and because. he We mention Moshe Rabbeinu specif brazen liberties were taken with the achieved total self-abnegation; he ically for several reasons: First, Moshe narrative in the fihn. For exainple) actually .became the . Shechina's Rabbeinu is an incomparably pivotal fig Moshe Rabbeinu, who was 80 years old spokesperson (HaShechind ·med ure in our history. In fact) two of Mai when he and Aaron petitioned aberes besoch g'rono - see. Nefesh monides' Thirteen Principles of Faith - Pharoah to release the Hebrews (Exo HaChaim). the classic Ani Maanzin's - involve him: dus 7,7), is portrayed as a dashing • Fifty gates of .Wisdom were . *"I believe with complete faith that young man in the Drean1works ver created in the world, and all.but ohe the prophecy of Moshe our Teacher sion. But then again, the rabbinical were given to him (Rosh Hashana was true, and that he was the father of advisor to the film was Rabbi Burton lib). the prophets - both those who pre Visotsky, a professor at the Conserv • Moshe loved .the people of ceded him and those who followed ative Jewish Theological Seminary, Israel (Menachos 65a), prayed for him. who has a proven track record of them, and was willing even to relin· *"I beJieve with complete faith that "improving on the text)) at the expense quish his place in G-d's Torah (and the entire Torah now in our hands is of the sacred Mesorah, through his role thus· his very existence). for their the same one that was given to Moshe in inspiring Bill Moyers' free-for-all sake (Shemos 32,32). As a reward, our Teacher." attitude toward the Bible in the Gen- the entire Torah was named after In fact, Ghazal (Rabbinical literature) him: ."Remember theTorah of Moshe speak of him in singular terms of 1All quotes fron1 Janet Maslin's review in The New My Servant"(Malachi 3,22). greatness (see sidebar). York Times, Dec. 18, '99. The Jewish Observer, February 7999 41 as "sacrosanct yet frisky entertainment splendor (of) ... the parting of the Red ish people's corporeality, in effect releas for viewers large and small;' 1 is being Sea" and the incomparable pyrotech ing their souls to let them bond with the treated with a certain deference that nics accompanying the giving of the Divine Giver of the Torah ... (Shouldn't puts it several cuts above '~The Lion Law of Sinai can expand the limits of we strive along similar lines?) King" or "Snow White;' and that one's puny imagination. Someday, many of the children and means that many of our nephews and Except that the visions perceived by adults who have seen this film will learn nieces, neighbors young and old, as humble maidens at the actual (as of the spiritual dimensions of these well as talmidim and talmidos of opposed to virtual) Splitting of the Red seminal events in the history of Hebrew Day Schools will likely see the Sea surpassed the clearly explicit mankind, and as they attempt to stretch film. In addition, Sunday school prophecy of the Divine Throne record their minds to conceive of"Parcha nish classes and congregational schools ed byYechezkel; and our minds should masan- the [Jews'] souls took flight" undoubtably will view it on field reach for the same. Similarly, the Pre from their bodies upon hearing "Anochi trips. And once the video is available, senting of the Law at Sinai ("a marvel -1 am the L-rd Your G-d," their soar some people whom you'd never sus of hand-drawn and computer-gener ing vision will collide with an unyield pect of doing so will watch it in the pri ated animation" in the film - JTA, Dec. ing ceiling: a startling memory of "a vacy of their homes. After all, wit 25, '98) in actuality was an experience marvel... designed with creative audac nessing "the computer generated that transcended the limits of the Jew- ity on the screen." The physicality of the film inevitably gives a Hollywood dimen Digest of Meforshim sion to a totally internal, ethereal .nr,!lnn!'"'" i11n,,"' ~."'tu• Joe; experience, imposing an arbitrary ,Joctnn Joc1:i tutu n.11tu:i ')V1j7? 1n:J ')V1j77 , ,Mtu lll'CI limit on the reach of their minds and 7":n ivv'm 'm1m1 )'"i"ITolr.l ,JocltuJ~ IJl.11 ,, I.... liJ1 hearts. Available at ..,. ~~ ::: 13,.,11,.:i, No, Chazal cannot compete with LEKUTEI Dreamworks. clo Yitzchok Rosenberg ;·~~ldy~~ffi.iSome And they shouldn't have to. • 10 West 47th Street, Roo1n 503 reminder cards on keeping quiet New York, NY 10036 during davening? (212) 7J9.1717 20 Volumes on Torah, Perek, Medrash, • Would you like a sample booklet on Megilos and Talmud. this topic? Proceeds of sales distributed an1ong • Would you join a group that would Yeshivos and used for reprinting of focus on educating and promoting volun1es out-of-print this mitzvah? PRICE: $8.00 PER VOLUME Please \\rite: Respect Your Prayers 1537 50th Street, All volumes now available Brooklyn, NY 11219 Box 82, Staten Island, NY 10309 (718) 854-2911 PESACH GUIDE TO MEDICATIONS For a copy of the most Comprehensive Pesach Guide to Medications I Cosmetics FOR by Rav Gershon Bess THE FINEST Please write to: KOLLEL LOS ANGELES AND VIDEO 223 S. Formosa Avenue Los Angeles. CA 90036 Phone: (213) 933-7193 (Unless you are already on our list) 42 The Jewish Observer, February 1999 of DirecLors c::if the Buckc5 County exLends its apprecialic::>n to ~ Mrs. Martha Melahn f0 ~Avrohom and Ruchie Melohnf0 ~ Leon and Sima Melahn f0 who have dedicated in memory of Joscf::>h Melohn n"Y 1n=>n i1"'1N 1 11.:i <)t>"l., ,., "One can neither estimate nor measure the greatness of July 1998 this Mitzvah, .. Happy is the one who takes part in it; He will January 1999 certainly be blessed with Jl\J J1l ,nn7;,in ,i1::>1J" Rabbi Avrohom Pam (from a letter supporling this project) "I enuy the share in Olam Habah of one who causes even OJ'it: person to go to the Mikvah " Chafetz Chaim In a survey of Jewish families, the Bucks County federation discovered that the subject of Mikvah was one of three in which respondents showed the most interest Grab this opportunity for a 11'u" ,111,t ,111.)Wl '''JI or just a chance to participate in a great Mitzvah To date, many dedication opportunities remain, including: • Bor Tevilah $36,000 • Individual Rooms 18,000 • Entrance 15,000 • Individual Doorways 7 ,500 Mount a plaque as an eternal zechus and memory for a beloved one. PLAQUES • Benefactor •sponsor •Patron •Donor Lisa M. Herman characters take on a "war mitzva," as a source of merit. Mrs. Pomerantz aptly BOQ S rounds out the novel when the custody brother arrives battle is ultimately won, weaving togeth on the scene er detailed legal machinations, family pol itics, all directed by Hashgacha Prattis ~~rw This anti-religious (Divine Providence). • sibling has his eyes M~~Herman, who lives i;B;;;~:;kly;,~·evie-;~ on the family inher· books for The Jewish Observer Cactus Blossoms, by Rachel itance and feigns Pomerantz, Targum Press, $13.56 interest in the boy's future, thus launching a When Did You Last Do protracted court case. The Mitzvah of Gmach? his novel takes place during the An Israeli sister and a baalas teshuva aunt "'r.:>).l .nN i1l,.n ')OJ ON" Gulf Crisis in '90-'91, chronicling add spice to the broth, bringing along with "If you lend funds to ... the poor". the events and emotions of three them their own families with their T This "if" is an obligation. (Mechilta}. families living through this major life. attending predicaments. For 15 years, our 15 branches in Eretz threatening episode, while facing their Several interesting sub-plots are Yisroel have issued Gmach loans to the own inner family dramas. It is a quick uncovered when the aunt, a professor, struggling, Kolleleit, Olim and the ill. paced, rea]istic narrative. decides to confront a skeleton in her clos 0 ''7'T im1 Do It Todayl The story revolves around Ronny, et: she begins a search for her own nat YOUR GIFT WILL BECOME A REVOLVING almost Bar Mitzva, who is living with a ural father - whom she has been led to LOAN; AN ETERNAL lCHUS. foster family with his father's consent believe dead for over three decades. as his natural mother has been institu This foray into family roots helps so11 out ii! OZER tionalized. The Silbers soon find them the different forces in their lives. Issues 0zer0alim DAL IM selves in a custody battle when the boy's of faith also come into play, as Saddam 28 West 25th Street, NY, NY 10010 father dies and an estranged older Hussein's missiles fall, and many of the (212)924-0023 The '?nll:l and ninth grade Rebbe will be Rav Meir Rubin N"VW presently at Yeshiva Gedola of Toronto · For further information, please call 973-778-0689 Rabbi Meir Stern Rabbi Heshie Hirth 44 The Jewish Observer, February 1999 EXPLAINING THE REBBI'S In the course of working with INTOLERANCE countless troubled youngsters, I have had the opportunity to discuss these To the Editor: issues with many mechanchim, ther I wish to take exception to Rabbi Yoe! apists and lay activists. It is indeed Schonfeld's letter, JO Shevat 5759, the consensus among all those with "Expanding the List for the Rebbt"s Con in-depth experience in this field fession." Rabbi Schonfeld did not that these youngsters come from understand the point of the Rebbi unhappy homes. In the vast regarding the suede yarmulke. The majority of cases, there were serious Rebbi"s criticism of the suede yarmulke problems in the parent-child rela did not stern from an intolerance of peo tionship that predated the rebel ple who wear suede yarmulkes as Rabbi I would suggest that the article liousness. In other cases, the child Schonfeld would have us understand. recounts an ongoing process of intro had a difficulty (e.g. learning disab- Rather, in that partic'tllar yeshiva \Vhere spection, not just a one-time flash of the Rebbi was a n1a'ggid shiur, a suede insight. I would assume that the yarrnulke was in non-confor1nance to anonymous Rebbi who wrote the arti the dress code of the school. (As is well cle is still growing in his self-under known, in right wing yeshivos in Eretz standing, and by now would probably Yisroel, there is very little tolerance for concur with the thrust of Rabbi divergence in dress code.) The Rebbi Schonfeld's letter. suspected that the talmid, upon return YERACHMIEL WAGNER ing to the yeshiva) was attcn1pting to East Meadow, L.l. make a very public statement that he had rejected the ideology of that particular IN DEFENSE OF THE CONSENSUS OF yeshiva, by donning a suede yarmulke, ACTIVISTS AND THERAPISTS hence causing the Rebbi his anguish. His RE: DYSFUNCTIONAL FAMILIES criticism should by no means be con strued as intolerance of"suede yarmulke To the Editor: Jews." The Rebbi's confession list is long It was with great dismay that I read • Shabbos Sheva Brochos enough, and he should not have to add Rabbi Naftali Bassman's letter (January any sins that he did not commit. Rabbi '99), criticizing Rabbi Brafman's state • Weekend Bar Mitzvas Schonfdd's heart which I am sure is ment (December '98), that "the con overflowing with ahavas Yisroel, should sensus of professional and lay activists • School Shabbatons judge the Rebbi more favorably, and see working with at-risk teenagers and • Family Reunions him in a more positive light. dropouts has been that the overwhelm SHJ\t1UEL DANZIGER ing majority of their clients come from Brooklyn, iVY broken homes, orphaned homes, dys functional homes or unhappy homes." For reservations THE REBBI IS STILL CONFESSING Rabbi Bassman's criticism encon1- and information passes two major points. First, he con ca 11 To the Editor: tends that Rabbi Brafman's statement is I wonder why Rabbi Schonfeld in simply untrue. As Rabbi Bassman puts 1-800-CAPITOL your letters column (Jan. '99) took it, "dropout children is an epidemic in exception to the way you present the our midst 7"1, and it strikes in the best (227-4865) Rebbi's harsh attitude toward the of homes." Secondly, Rabbi Bassman young man with the "suede" yarrnulke criticizes Rabbi Brafi:uan for causing pain in "A Rebbi's Confession." The Rebbi to the parents of dropouts by implying 325 Seventh Street, seems to have said that had the young that they are at fault for their children's Lakewood, NJ 08701 nlan actually \Vorn a suede yarmulke, rebelliousness. (732) 363-5000 his harsh dismissal would have been As a frum therapist, with many years Catering under Rabbinical Supervision of justified. For this, Rabbi Schonfeld of experience working with frum the Vaad Hakashruth of Lakewood, NJ takes the Rebbi to task - and JO for dropouts and their families, I feel a moral seeming to concur with hin1. I do not obligation to respond to Rabbi Bassman's VN';) ,'I!':> C§) share his misgivings. charges. p,;nr.i'; 7N,1!J> :i';n The Jewish Observer, February 1999 45 ility) and the parents reacted with crit suggest a number of subpopulations tributed to the problem. I also suggest to icism rather than being supportive. behaving in different ways [with the them that although this information may It does indeed seem like this problem Orthodox having a substantially small be painful forthem to acknowledge, it can happens in "the best of homes." But, we er percentage of intermarriage]? also be a source of hope. By realizing that need to remember that what we see as a [Because] distinguishing between core the problem does not strike at random, "good home" is often not how the child Jews and peripheral ones would imply but rather has a cause, it is within their experiences his/her home. People in the that some Jews behave in a fashion that power to significantly alleviate the prob field are often shocked by the discrepan is "better,, than others. Such judg lem. Parents who make a serious attempt cy between the parents' public persona mentalism goes against the neutrality at improving their relationship with and their private behavior at home (sim seeking culture of the task forces' spon their rebellious child often see dramatic ilar to what one often finds by abusive soring institutions ... [Thus, they have] improvement in their child's condition. spouses). banned discussion about the most I have often been "admonished" by So, while no parents purposely make divisive - i.e., the most important these parents and children for not mak their child's life miserable, and any par issues. ing this information known to the com ent would gladly lay their life on the line The desire not to hurt people's feelings munity, to challenge the belief that there for their children, at the same time, if the is preventing us from helping them solve is an "epidemic" out there striking fam child becomes seriously rebellious you can the problem which they want to be helped ilies at random and that parents are pow be fairly certain that they made serious with. erless to prevent or alleviate this problem. and persistent errors in their parenting, Even if it was true that some frum chil It is for this reason that I felt prompted most often by being persistently and dren become rebellious without the to write this letter. unreasonably critical. home being a major contributing factor NAME WITHHELD UPON REQUEST Rabbi Bassman is not alone in his con (although I have never actually seen such The author is a therapist with a large cern for the feelings of the unfortunate a situation, and have never heard of such Orthodox practice in the New York Met parents suffering with this terrible a case in the many conferences etc. I have ropolitan area. tragedy. In fact, one of the reasons that attended over the years), no one would he was probably surprised to read the denythat in the vast majority of cases this CORRECTION above mentioned quote in Rabbi Braf is not the case. Are we not contributing man's article, is because there is a great to the persistence of this tragic problem In the review of Torah Patterns - The hesitancy among those in the field to pub in our community by denying this real Magnificent Unity of Jewish Life and licly state what they privately know. I ity? Would Rabbi Bassman recommend Thought, by Rabbi Moshe Shlomo believe that this hesitancy, however well that doctors not tell their smoking Emanuel, (Jan. '94, p.28) his previous intentioned, is leading us to a fool's par patients that they are putting themselves work, "Tefillin: the Inside Story" was incor adise. This attitude is similar to the one at a high risk of getting lung cancer, in rectly listed. We apologize for the error. taken by liberal activists in regard to acer order not to hurt their feelings? Should tain disease caused by immoral behavior. the fact that some people smoke without Because of their desire not to offend a cer getting lung cancer and that some of those ----=-~ tain group, they contend and publicly state who do contract lung cancer never MIDWOOD SUITES that this disease occurs at random for no smoked, blind us to the fact that smok particular reason, and that everybody is ing is a major contributing factor for lung IN THE HEART or rLATBUSH, BROOKLYN, NY Convenient Loa~on: Nea.r Siluis, Shopping. Bus&.. Subway equally at risk. cancer? Likewise, should our concern for Likewise, Jewish liberals concerned their parents' feelings prevent us from with the problem of intermarriage refuse publicizing the well established risk fac to acknowledge the obvious fact that those tors for teen rebelliousness? With all due with an Orthodox education are much respect to Rabbi Bassman, this seems to less likely to suffer from intermarriage. To me to be a clear example of misplaced and quote from a Commentary article cited in misguided rachmanus. We should be The Jewish Observer (Feb. '96, page 31 ): praising Rabbi Brafman for having the The assumption [of the intermar courage to speak the truth so that com riage task force J is that intermarriage is munity can begin to take effective steps Making a Sfmcha? Visiting New York? present in every Jewish family; that it to deal with this problem. We are your Home away from Home! appears at random; and that all sectors When I meet parents of rebellious chil FOR Rf5ERVATJONS &. RAill CALL of the community are equally vulner dren, I am, of course, empathetic to their Ill. U.S.A. (718) 253-9535 able. Why are American Jewish leaders pain and suffering. But I also point out FAX. U.S.A. (718) 253-3269 disposed to see all-pervading crisis to them those aspects of their relationship AVENUE JI EAST !STii STIIIIT. BROOKLYN when ... the data they are drawing upon with their child, that have likely con- www.midwood.1u•tes.com/ email: [email protected] 46 The Jewish Observer, February 1999 ... Outstanding from Italy is Bartenura's Asti Spumante, in a delicate yet full-flavored mode .•. Nathan Chroman LOS ANGELES TIMES ... Bartenura Asti Spumante is among the best Asti Wines on the market. Robert M. 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