ACT 1, SCENE 1

A Midsummer Night’s Dream By William Shakespeare

Act I Scene I

Setting: Athens, Palace of Duke Theseus

Enter Theseus, Hippolyta, Philostrate

Theseus What a gorgeous morning it is here in Athens, Greece. Can you believe our wedding is just four days away, my little teddy bear?

Hippolyta I know, I can’t wait to get married!

Theseus I’m so anxious, these days are going to by so slowly!

Hippolyta These days will turn into nights quickly enough. I must say, the city does not seem to be in a merry mood.

Theseus I can fix that. Philostrate?

Philostrate Yes, my lord?

Theseus Philly boy. Go to the town, get everybody happy about our wedding.

Hippolyta Right, there should be no sad faces for our celebration.

Philostrate My lord and lady, it shall be done. Anyone wearing a frown will be whipped in the town square.

Theseus Easy Philly boy. This movie is set in ancient Greece, no need to go medieval!

Philostrate No whipping?

Hippolyta Absolutely not.

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ACT 1, SCENE 1

Philostrate My lord and lady, you can depend on me.

[Philostrate exits]

Hippolyta That’s like the third time he’s offered to whip people. What is his deal?

Theseus He got this great deal on a whip on amazon, I mean, in the Athens marketplace and he’s been dying to use it.

Hippolyta I think we should have him looked at….

Egeia Theseus and Hippolyta! Our gracious duke and soon-to-be duchess! May we speak?

[Egeia enters, with her daughter Hermia, followed by Lysander and Demetrius]

Theseus Egeia, a pleasure to see you and your wonderful daughter, Hermia. How may we help?

Egeia My lord, I am vexed!

Theseus Oh no! What does “vexed” mean? I’m guessing it’s bad?

Hippolyta It means she is frustrated, dear.

Theseus What is bothering you, Egeia?

Egeia It is my daughter.

Hippolyta How can this lovely child anger you so?

Egeia Lovely child? Believe me, a vixen lies beneath this fair façade. I have already arranged her marriage to this man Demetrius. His mother and I have been friends since childhood.

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ACT 1, SCENE 1

Theseus Does she refuse this man?

Egeia Yes, she wants to marry this man Lysander. It has brought shame to our family.

Theseus Oh dear. According to Athens law, Hermia must marry Demetrius.

Hermia My duke, please. I don’t love him. I love my Lysander.

Demetrius Hermia, give me a chance. I am 100% man, baby! Somebody ordered a beefcake. I’ll be a great husband.

Lysander You have her mother’s love Demetrius, why don’t you marry her?

Egeia How disrespectful! Hermia, you will not marry this man.

Theseus Young Hermia, let me give you a word of advice. Your mother should be like a God to you. She gave you your beauty. You are her property.

Hermia But I would rather die than marry a man I don’t love.

Hippolyta Well, that is what will happen, dear, if you don’t obey your mother.

Lysander But Duchess, Demetrius doesn’t love her. He’s a player. Two weeks ago he was in love with Helena!

Theseus I did know about that, and I wanted to ask about it. But in the end, it doesn’t matter. If Egeia says you must marry Demetrius, then you must. Demetrius and Egeus, come with us. You can help us with plans for my wedding and we will discuss your problem.

[Theseus, Hippolyta, Egeus and Demetrius exit]

Lysander (making sure the others are gone)

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ACT 1, SCENE 1

Hermia, don’t worry. I’ve got a plan. I have a rich aunt who lives outside the city. Her house is twenty miles outside of Athens, and we can get married there. We won’t be in Athens, so we don’t have to follow Athens law.

Hermia Ly, you’re so brilliant! And totally hot! So how do we do this?

Lysander Sneak out of your mother’s house tonight, and meet me in the woods just outside of town. I’ll wait for you there.

Hermia You are a genius! I wish I could see the look on my mother’s face when she finds out I’ve run away!

Helena Run away? Who is running away? Demetrius?

[Helena enters]

Hermia Hey, Helena. No. Me and Lysander! We’re going to run off and get married. But don’t tell anyone!

Helena With you gone, maybe Demetrius will come back to me. I miss my little Demmy Bear so much.

Hermia You can have him! He thinks he is Zues’s gift to all the women on Earth.

Helena HE IS!!! So handsome! Chipmunk cheeks! I don’t get what happened. One minute he loved me, and next, he loved you. If we weren’t best friends Hermia, I’d hate you!

Lysander Well, we’ve got to work on our plan. If this is the last time we see you, I wish you luck, Helena.

Helena You too. You make an awesome couple. Your children are going to be awesome looking! Bye!

Lysander Good luck with Demetrius!

Hermia Bye!

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ACT 1, SCENE 1

[Hermia and Lysander exit]

Helena Oh, they look so happy! I wish I could be happy. All the other people in Athens believe that I am as beautiful as Hermia. Everyone except Demetrius. Maybe if he sees her and Lysander leave with his own eyes, he’ll give up hope. She’ll be gone, but I will be right here. That’s what I will do. That is how I get my Demy-bear back! What a masterful plan!

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