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The Problem of the Puer Aeternus !1 It is by no means surprising that our culture is suffering from a problem of arrested development. Not only the adolescents but the adults, who “oppressed by the images of beauty” chase an image of their younger selves to the grave. The essays compiled by Mahdi (1987) locate many of the social issues our culture is facing today in individuals hungering for ritual processes and initiations, lacking the proper container. Amongst others, cutting (scarification), anorexia (fasting), and compulsive violence are just a few examples of the terror which ensues when human beings neglect their psychospiritual hygiene. For the discussion today I would like to focus attention on the destructive lack-of-action in young men who live their lives either pathologically bored or vicariously through their screens, indulging limitlessly in video games, pornography, and identified with what I call the “persona’s persona”, the online self. Many of the popular theories on arrested development argue an external etiology (Henderson, 2005). The idea being, the ego as, it goes through its life, inevitably collides with certain factors that can debilitate it. This ranges from momentary frustration to persistent moods and states of possession lasting weeks, months, and in many cases, years. Our culture of scientism reinforces determining a root cause, but as Wilber (2000) has shown, this rule is applied solely to the third-person, external world, while overlooking subjective factors like mental states and stages of development. Even mental states, he illumines, never survive for long before getting externalized, regurgitated to graphs and charts, explained as byproducts of mechanical processes in the brain or body. What is so perplexing about human psychology is the variance we can observe between individuals who respond differently to the same event. Let us remember those remarkable individuals, such as prisoners of war or survivors of the camps, individuals who have endured unfathomable cruelty, and not only survived, but in many ways !2 began truly living. And then of course, there are those well-to-do suburbanites with exceptional educations who are privileged enough to truly tune in and discover their vocation without the threat of eviction, who are at the same time burdened with an ungovernable depression and despair. This area deserves more attention, as the wealthy elite are accursed with receiving the culture’s misguided projection that wealth is a panacea to suffering. Growing up in one of the most affluent zip-codes on planet earth, I can say that the neuroses which possess the rich are some of the most incipient and destructive I have ever come across. And because these individuals make up the 1%, only 1% of psychiatrists, doctors, lawyers, and educators know what they are actually talking about. It was Jung (1969) who argued that arrested development is not only the result of past traumas but is influenced just as much by the inability to move forward in the present. There exist within the psyche autonomous factors that are stronger than the ego that can retard its development. These complexes are organizational structures of the personal unconscious and “are not subject to our control but obey their own laws” (p. 228). Complexes are essentially little, sub-personalities existing within the psyche. They are clusters of emotional energy, centered around an archetypal core of meaning that can conflict with the ego. Jacobi (2020) emphasizes further writing, “a complex that has become autonomous can carry on a totally separate existence in the background of the psyche” (p. 12). Because these complexes are unconscious, they get projected onto external objects in the environment, persuading the individual the source and solution to the problem lies out there when it is happening subjectively. The extent to which projections accurately correspond to those outer objects is ambiguous. This is why Von Franz (1980) advocates for investigating the root source of a complex on subjective and objective levels. More often than not, the objects which receive the projections do so !3 because they possess a “hook” that one can conveniently “hang” the projection on just like a coat is hung on a coat-hook. It is not necessarily the complex that is problematic. Complexes are neutral (Jacobi, 2020), but are colored by the ego’s attitude toward them. In other words, the negativity or positivity of the complex reflects the individual’s attitude towards the unconscious in general. The suffering one experiences is often a tell that one is either resisting or misinterpreting their true nature. Concerning arrested development, Henderson (2005) identifies how the ego is apt to recoil in the face of the complex, thereby shirking the responsibility of finding an adaptive attitude to move beyond its fixation. The Problem of the Puer Aeternus The puer can be a ferocious complex. Von Franz (1971) in The Problem of the Puer Aeternus articulates the dominating patterns of what is known as the puer personality. She writes, “In general, the man who identified with the archetype of the puer aeternus remains too long in adolescent psychology; that is, all those characteristics that are normal in youth of 17 or 18 are continued into later life, coupled in the most cases with too great a dependence on the mother” (p. 1). Commonly, this tends to display itself in various forms of what is known as Don- Juanism, an analytic term used to describe the behaviors of a man who seeks in every woman the ideal image of the mother, a perfect woman who will relieve him of any sense of duty or moral responsibility. Soon after coupling, these individuals will experience a moment when their partners’ humanity shines through the ideal image, and feel utterly devastated—devastated that reality, once again, could not meet their expectations. Because these individuals tend to be the passive-dependent types, they cannot terminate relationships respectfully. Excommunicating their partners or blaming the break on the “hunger of their souls” is the most available option. !4 These men are romantics, sentimentalists, dreamers and poets—but not men of action. They speak like troubadours but say nothing. They believe themselves to be undiscovered geniuses that hold the “secrets” to the universe if only the world would wise up and listen to them. The cultural term “ghosting” is extremely relevant here, for the actual impact puer aeterni leave on the world are inexistent. Their promises and aspirations vanish without a trace when life becomes all too real. The Don Juan refers to much more than just a large, sexual appetite and a poorly- developed eros. It encompasses a main theme which is this dynamic of running and escaping from one’s responsibilities and duties in favor of pleasure and excitement. In our culture, it is even desired. The puer aeternus is an archetypal image, meaning, it has its roots in the collective unconscious and appears in various forms throughout history. From the child-god of antiquity, to Peter Pan and the Lost Boys, and TV icons like Hank Moody and Vincent Chase, the image is eternal, changing only in the modern garb it dresses itself with to enter appropriately into the culture. The puer is a romantic figure, but ever since the explosion of the online world it has been romanticized beyond the usual. Though it is often the case the individuals who are eclipsed by the puer cannot exercise any amount of volition at all, and as a result are bound to the reigns of the complex. In an attempt to regain some semblance of control, the ego identifies with one side of the spectrum and projects its opposite onto the environment (Perry, 1970). Moore and Gillette (1990) have further developed this model by describing how these unconscious spectrums lie along a gradient of active and passive poles—active in the sense of identification, passive in the sense of projection. The former results when the ego gets assimilated by the material that in ordinary, adaptive circumstances it would constructively relate to. The puer then is being dominated by the “provisional life”, the “…strange attitude and !5 feeling that his job, career, city, car, creative endeavor, or woman is not yet what is really wanted, and there is always the fantasy that sometime in the future the real thing will come about” (von Franz, 1971, p. 7). Likewise, this pattern often produces triadic relationships where a man can be emotionally married to his spouse but only sexually viable with his mistress, as was the case with a fellow I once knew who was so heavily dominated by these dynamics that he, even while stricken with testicular cancer reflected less on impending death than on how anyone would possibly date him with one testicle. This is more about a split-anima than anything else, which I unfortunately do not have the time to explain today. All of the milestones that should be achieved within the first half of life are abdicated under the spell that these were all the wrong fits and something truer awaits. If a puer should be born into affluence and have access to the finances, he might forever evade enduring the frustrations of sticking to a path and adapting to the measures, for he can easily buy his way out. This produces a subliminal sense of weakness and inferiority that are then further misinterpreted as evidence he should be doing something different, else he would not have to feel the damnable feelings of the flesh. Their fantasies of enlightenment or self-realization often have no authentic, spiritual aim of bettering the world or geared towards that appointment with the Self, but are used as defenses against the inescapable suffering of being a human being.
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