The Guns Don't Work

Home , Baduizm, Casey Chaos, Conrad Keely, Giant Sand, Grandaddy, Highfield Campus

WESSEX PAPER FEBRUARY.1 19/2/01 5:15 pm Page 1

21st February - 14th March

ELECTION FRENZY - MEET THE ELITE - ELECTION FRENZY - MEET THE ELITE

Saturday 17th February saw the launch of the student radio station SURGE on to the new frequency 87.7 FM. Transmitting on 1287 AM for several years, Southampton University’s Radio from Glen Eyre has become a popular choice amongst the residents of the Glen Eyre complex. The extension of the license to FM status for a special trial period of one month offers the opportunity for all the students based at the University to listen to, or even work on SURGE.

SURGE staff and regular DJs have been Haden and Anna (pictured above) working hard over the last few months proudly wore their promotional SURGE with the support of the Student’s Union, T-shirts around the university campuses to ensure that the FM switchover will be and the city centre throughout the week. smooth and successful. Station Manager In his official capacity as SURGE Lex Nichol summed up the view of the Webmaster, Haden enthusiastically whole station when he commented: “The proclaimed his opinion the FM launch: SURGE staff have all put a lot of work “Apart from increasing my pulling into this project - I believe that we’ll get power, it gives us the opportunity to as much out of this as the listeners will.” transmit to a much wider arena. Working at SURGE is great fun, and the new The build-up to the launch began in force schedule features a varied and exciting at the beginning of the new semester, line-up which is sure to appeal to all.” with a poster campaign around the Students’ Union, swiftly followed by an SURGE is also online. You can check out exclusive interview with the DumDums the listings on www.surgeradio.co.uk. on Saturday 10th. SURGE listeners can The site provides info about the station expect more special features coming up and its staff, plus an in-depth run-through over the next month. of the new schedule. Week 2 saw the SURGE Launch Party at the club, New York, New York. DJs Anna Kerensa Pascoe THE GUNS In this issue of DON’T WORK

A University film society’s location-shoot turned sour last week, when a large Grandaddy proportion of the Hampshire Constabulary responded to a call concerning the crew’s use of a gun. The group of Southampton University students, filming a 15- Trail Of Dead minute short, ‘The Tesseract’ for the society, Wessex Films were surrounded by Police cars and confronted by an officer wearing a bullet-proof vest. Ministry of Sound at the Dome See inside for more

FIGHT FEES - LECTURE BOYCOTT 1ST MARCH - FIGHT FEES WESSEX PAPER FEBRUARY.1 19/2/01 5:16 pm Page 2

PAGE 2 PAGE 3

All style no... seems unlikely given the perpetrator DO YOU LIKE SEX? originates from the USA. CONTENTs Whatever the reason, the emails have GUNS ON FILM This may appear to be a strange headline other universities across the nation have succeeded in wreaking havoc among for an article relating to email spam, but had similar problems, such as the university complaints departments over Allied Attack on Iraq ...Continued From Front Page precluded a serious reminder of how the thousands of Hotmail users worldwide University Of East London, recent weeks and have gone beyond the White situation could have turned nasty and have become all-too-familiar with the Huddersfield, and more recently usual realms of offensive spam. The Bombing intensifies over Iraq as admitted that it was impossible to very expensive for all those concerned. Trash? subject line filling their inboxes over Warwick to name only a small fraction of complaints to Southampton University Allied forces strike command and authorise the filming, but added that there As if to add to the potential costs and the recent weeks. An undisclosed number of the affected. If you have, or do receive appear to be almost exclusively from control centers in response to was nothing strictly illegal and yes, you’d actual embarrassment, it was said - on no unsolicited emails have been sent such email, please do not complain to Hotmail users, suggesting that another “increased threat to allied aircraft probably get away with it if you were uncertain terms - that had there not been purporting to originate from University universities - take the complaint up with security breach on the part of Microsoft from Iraq’s missile defences in smart enough. anyone outside when the officer arrived, accounts, notably Southampton. The Hotmail themselves or even your Internet may be once again to blame. recent weeks” The location in question was a peaceful, the house would have been stormed by emails were largely advertising Service Provider. However, the director decided he was not the armed response unit only minutes respectable corner of Highfield. Indeed, pornographic web sites and the Andrew Farley smart enough, but did possess sufficient later and shot anyone who moved. The Ralph Bulger Loses the kind of road that, if you were to ask common sense not to ignore the subtle University has received “a huge number” But what advantage could be gained by PAGE 5 the residents if they’d seen the police force helicopter had been ordered to of complaints over recent weeks from claiming to originate from a university in Court Battle hint of a passing Police Inspector. stand by and the chief inspector (off- around the area in living memory Consequently, Paul and the crew ped. Judging by the apparent impact on the UK? A number of theories exist, but duty) had been notified of the situation. The Bulger family is unsuccessful they would say no, but were never proceeded to shoot (ahem) elsewhere. ‘I Hotmail users, the hacker appears to be it appears likely that credibility is the Along with that, five BMW cruisers were in overturning the ruling of Lord huge Sting fans anyway. It was to felt that even though I’d effectively been using a weakness in Hotmail’s system to aim. Email spammers are going to just visible at the end of the road, Chief Justice, Lord Woolf - which this small locus of suburban refused permission, it was definitely gain user’s account details. Another increasing lengths to make sure that the blocking off the area or crawling past authorized the early release of their harmony that a major police not worth trying and getting arrested for. victory for Microsoft then. mail they send gets read. Recent reports suspiciously. Fortunately in the end, the son’s killers. operation was headed at around Plus, the last thing the film unit wants of the new Anna Kournikova virus 7.00pm on Thursday 1 February. only thing the officer took away was Most of the emails that were sent out highlight these new techniques. In this Liz Barker is to develop a bad reputation with the some personal details. police.’ during the last weekend in January and case, an email is received asking the New Home in the Dome? Interview The scene at fault was no more the first weekend of February were recipient to view a file apparently of the This is wholly reminiscent of an incident than half a dozen shots long and It was on that fateful Thursday advertising pornographic material on the Tennis ace, but instead of being a picture, The race is on to find new occupiers fairly uneventful. One of the that occurred two years ago, when world-wide web. Typical subject lines the file sends emails to everybody in the of the Millenium Dome, after the PAGE 16 evening, however, that the University student, Andy Berg was characters in the film was director’s concerns became for the emails included “See best adult user’s address book. This can have the Legacy consortium is stripped of required to wield a replica pistol reported to the Police by an elderly site on the net now!!” and “Horny effect of crippling large organisations’ their preferred bidder status. The horribly well-founded. As Paul, Portswood resident, concerned by the as a discreet prop. So discreet, in Pete and Matt had just finished tonight?” but also ranged to the more email servers. In the case of the BBC, Tussaud’s Group and concert fact, that a member of the public over-realistic BB-gun he was wielding obscure “Acne cure & penny stock University emails, the main advantage promoter Harvey Goldsmith have filming in the street, a car pulled whilst driving past. Andy’s problems reported it. The director, Paul Johnson up. The unmarked Panda was a pick!”. The vast number of complaints appears to be that they appear to derive all expressed interest. commented: ‘Obviously, whoever called were exacerbated furthermore by the fact received suggests the sheer number of from a credible, academic source. The clever tactic, but it was probably the less- that the car (whose license plate was the police simply misread the situation. than-discreet bullet-proof vest that people affected is phenomenal - how email may be more likely to be treated as With me and the camera on my shoulder, reported) was owned by his parents; the many of you actually complain when you serious and subsequently read if it Japanese Angry At ultimately gave the game away. That and Constabulary’s first port of call. Win next to Matt Golding (actor) and Peter the uniform, of course. receive bulk mail? appears to originate from @soton.ac.uk Sea Accident Wood (actor and President of Wessex and not @xxx.com, for example. This is Tickets To Both stories are a lesson to us all and just one theory, but is plausible. Another Films) holding the script, it was fairly ‘Who’s the individual with the gun, Southampton University is not the only The Japanese government and good reason for why gun laws are - and is that this is a deliberate attack on the Dublin obvious what was going on. Of course, please?’ Oh dear. It was handed over. The institution to be affected by the spam, citizens are ‘outraged’ at the should remain - so strict in this country. however. Reports have suggested that universities themselves, although this PAGE 18 that doesn’t excuse the fact that the police trio exchanged nervous glances as the collision between a US Navel Sub weren’t informed of our intentions.’ officer (who had clearly drawn the short If you’d like to join WESSEX FILMS and a Japanese Fishing Vessel after ‘cannon fodder’ straw) radioed in: ‘Yeah, for more thrills and spills, email: learning that civilians were The entire situation was blisteringly all units; it’s an imitation, over.’A crackle [email protected] or come to the controlling the Navy craft. 9 people ironic, as Paul had previously embarked of garbled responses followed. ‘Confirm NO LAPTOP - NO DEGREE Sports Bar at 7.30 every Thursday. are missing after the accident. upon a protracted correspondence with that, an imitation. It’s a group of If you want to see the ‘The Tesseract’ A recent and bold proposal at Warwick fuelled cynicism in various student both the Hampshire Constabulary and the students.’ His last words lacked the with technological advances but few felt and many other Wessex Films movies University has thrust the role of quarters with many alleging that the council’s Leisure Services to seek solid disparaging tones and colourful epithets that making laptops an entry requirement in big-screen glory, come to the MINI- information technology into shocking University’s plan to enter into deals with Bin Man Nicked permission to film a scene on usually applied to them. for uni was a positive step. The majority The Gym Southampton Common that involved FESTIVAL on March 17th in the and stark relief. The most controversial certain IT companies is ample evidence felt that such action constituted grounds For Posh Luggage Debating Chamber. Tickets are £1 in element of Warwick’s so called e-strategy that concerns with business and profit firing several blank rounds in public. This did not, however, indicate the law’s for discrimination and were unhappy Uncovered advance. Email for details. is to make it compulsory for all first year have supplanted the students’ best After a week, both the police and council passing amusement, but instead with a Warwick official’s comment that A refuse collector who handled the students to own a laptop computer by interests. turning up for a lecture without a laptop stolen luggage of Victoria Beckham PAGE 22 2003. According to spokespeople, the is like turning up for an exam without a has been sentenced to a 15-month project is intended to “end the digital It was found that last year, 70% of pencil. term in a young offenders divide” amongst students and enhance students at Warwick had their own institution ORGAN SCANDAL the facilities for online learning. First computers with an additional 25% So, can we expect a similar thing at year students will enjoy IT-led seminars, planing to purchase one. Evidently, the Southampton? Whilst Southampton Move Over Mayo tutorials and lectures plus un- university feels that the scheme will University Computing Services were metered access to the only really affect the few that are unable to comment on this specific Rain Stops Play After 15 years as one of Radio Internet in their study left but many students are angry project, a representative said that One’s most recognized voices, FEARS DISPELLED bedrooms - that is if they about the obligatory nature of the Southampton University had no such Simon Mayo begins a new career can meet the costs, of proposals. By implication, it plans to rival Warwick at this stage. with sport and news channel 5Live. Following the Alder Hey organ scandal out in the form were too vague. People and teaching in anatomy and morphology course. seems that from 2003, it will be However, they do recognise that an PAGE 24 last month, fears that Southampton were unaware that ‘tissues retained for departments are tightly controlled by a impossible to study at Warwick inevitable trend towards involving University General Hospital was also future examination’ actually included the completely different branch of the law Students at Warwick have without a laptop and this computers in every area of a degree SOS TXT victim to unsolicited organ retention have heart and brain. Once a coroner has and are donated by the deceased before been angered by this means that plenty of able course is underway. been quelled by Professor William ordered a post-mortem, the brain must be death. A spokesman said: “We will proposal which they swiftly and enthusiastic 14 tourists found a good use for a Roche, director of cellular pathology. treated for 2 months before being continue to deal openly and sensitively branded as “elitist.” Caitlin applicants will be Whilst we should perhaps praise mobile phone when a text message A hotline set up by the examined; i.e. retained beyond the with individual families and relatives McKenzie, the President of deterred from applying due to a Warwick for seeking to give all its First saved them from two days stranded Southampton NHS Trust received no less funeral - an outcome that the next of kin who raise questions or concerns with us.” Warwick Student Union, articulated lack of funds. Owain James, president of Year students a level playing field upon at sea near Bali. than 600 calls from worried families, was not previously informed of.” some widely-held anxieties about the the NUS, has vocally attacked the which to start their undergraduate career, after it was disclosed that over a period of At a press conference at the end proposal and insists that “the mandatory proposal for exactly these reasons: “If there is no doubt that the scheme could Eggs For Sale 30 years, SUGH had retained 1500 of January, SU Hospital Trust revealed requirement to own a compatible Warwick is allowed to do this, with no act as a deterrent against prospective organs from post-mortems. However, that of the 1,300 brains and 200 hearts computer means that students unwilling doubt other universities following suit, students who are either unable, or simply Increasing numbers of couples are Prof Roche was keen to stress that the retained, 80 percent were kept after the or unable to purchase will be forced to then the crisis in higher education can unwilling to meet the extra costs. What using the Internet to buy human situation was totally divorced from the coroners’ inquests. National legislation at apply to other universities.” only intensify.” with tuition fees and an increasing debt eggs a BBC 5Live investigation has situation at Alder Hey, where autopsies the time meant that families did not have burden, many students may feel reluctant revealed. Eggs exchange hands for were not completed. to be told of this practise. Twelve of those In fairness, the architects of the scheme The fear that Warwick is setting a to pursue a degree anyway and new up to $5,000 “The problem in Southampton’s organs have now been released, via a have outlined their plan to give assistance dangerous precedent was evident from measures such as those unveiled by case was a lack of communication”, he funeral director for burial. to those who cannot meet the cost of general student feeling around the Warwick are likely to increase such fears said. “Before 1999, when the post- Contrary to what many feared - purchasing a laptop by allowing students Highfield campus as well. Many rather than relieve them. mortem consent forms were thoroughly including medical students at the to lease equipment with the help of students that were questioned seemed to revised, it appears that the conditions laid University - the organs used for research hardship funds. However, this has only agree with the necessity of keeping up Fiona Cowood WESSEX PAPER FEBRUARY.1 19/2/01 5:16 pm Page 2

PAGE 2 PAGE 3

PAGE 4 PAGE 5

of watery Heiniken Cold Filtered or a elsewhere. The deposit should have been perfectly chilled Carling? Or perhaps you returned. We have received nothing. In would prefer a pint of rancid fact, we weren’t even been told WHY we Boddingtons over Worthington hadn’t had our deposit back. Jacelyn Creamflow? The addition of Caffreys to Sims, the Director of Gables, said it was Controversial American rapper see what happens.” the pumps was well supported, and most “up to the discretion of the landlord”. She Eminem has been banned from popular spirits have been decreased in instructed us to contact Shaun by ‘phone, STAR LETTER Sheffield University’s radio station Sheffield University’s student paper The price by 10 or 20 pence (e.g, Smirnoff because she claims not to know the Just in case you hadn’t noticed, controversial rapper Eminem, aka Marshall Mathers, and newspaper in a move that has Steel Press has been banned from Red, Bacardi, Archers, Malibu, etc, etc). whereabouts of Fiona Harris. She refused aka Slim Shady, played a set of gigs in Britain during February. His lyrics are often caused acrimony within the student reviewing the new Marshal Mathers LP A move instigated for profit-boosting to accept any responsibility for the explicit, violent, drugs related, misogynistic and homophobic. These concerts where community. The artist will no longer but is allowed to feature the singer in its purposes? Unlikely. Wessex Lane 2/Glen deposit, despite the fact that we paid it to accompanied by various protests, especially in the ‘gay village’ of Manchester. The be heard on the University radio news section. The paper branded the Eyre 0. Gables and the rent into what appeared to papers, television, and even internet chat-rooms, have all been filled with the calls of station Sure or played at any Union action “reactionary” and featured be her personal bank account. people for this rapper to be banned. As a gay man I watched these scenes with interest, events. Students wearing Eminem representatives of the student media with Thirdly, is it any wonder that Business but while I can’t condone the sentiments that Eminem expresses, I cannot agree with the clothing will not be allowed into the gags over their mouths in protest. A poll Services are taking power away from the We took the case to the court using idea of banning him. According to the argument, an impressionable audience of university bar. of students in Sheffield found that 76% farce known as “The Glen Eyre Hall Bars Jacelyn’s home address and finally had schoolchildren hear his lyrics condoning drug-abuse and violence and therefore grow disagree with the ban, with 8% in favour. Committee”? They appear to have had both Jacelyn and Shaun in front of a up believing these views to be correct. This, initially, seems a reasonable argument. The surprise move has resulted in a little success in attracting more people to judge. They both claimed that our money constitutional dilemma for the university, The Union defended its action by citing their bar through promotions, had been put into an account for Fiona But haven’t we heard it before? In the mid-1950s there were howls of disapproval when which justified the action under its Gay- its responsibility to ensure they create friendliness - even a few new lightbulbs Harris and they could not return it Elvis Presley gyrated his hips, causing the Ed Sullivan show to film him from the waist Friendly Policy. Eminem has been “an environment in which individuals would have been an improvement over because they had no access to this up only. In 1966 many called for the Beatles to be banned after John Lennon frequently accused of homophobia in his and groups of individuals are free from the dreary atmosphere that suffocates the account. The judge did not ask for proof claimed:’We’re more popular than Jesus now’ (which they probably were). Controversy lyrics and the decision came after discrimination, harassment and cheer within the merry individual. of any of these statements. We now have surrounded Queen’s ‘Another One Bites the Dust’ in 1980 when someone discovered complaints from students who were intimidation.” However, many students Wessex Lane Hall Bars are managed far a judgement against Fiona Harris worth that the chorus sounded a little like ‘it’s fun to smoke marijuana’ if played backwards. offended by his songs. The committee of have accused the Union for being more efficiently and effectively through a over £800. However, because neither Mike Reid famously banned the ‘overtly sexual’ ‘Relax’ by Frankie Goes to Union sabbaticals that made the decision hypocritical, as the LP is still being sold team of competent staff and experienced Jacelyn nor Shaun can tell us her Hollywood. As for the drugs references, try listening to ‘Itchycoo Park’ by the Small has been accused of censorship and in the Union shop and earning a healthy Duty Managers, who work under a co- whereabouts, we have no way of Faces, ‘Perfect Day’ by Lou Reed, or ‘Purple Haze’ by Hendrix. circumventing the correct procedures in profit... ordinating Bar Manager answering to claiming this money. We cannot even put taking the step, and media chiefs in “The Big Chief”, the Wessex Lane Bars a Charging Order on her property Other forms of media received less attention when dealing with these subjects. Brett Sheffield vowed to break the ban by The Grammy Awards ceremony will Manager. In this sense, issues very rarely because when we started the court Easton Ellis’s film, ‘American Psycho’ contains more violence against women than any continuing to broadcast the rapper’s follow Eminem’s February tour of escalate to proceedings, Gables sold the house. of Eminem’s tracks. Trainspotting painted a very real picture of drug-taking. As for work. England, where American homosexual the level where Business Services are homophobia, the negative imagery of John Inman in ‘Are You Being Served?’ did more organisations plan a “Rally Against required to intervene, and problems are So who is responsible? Landlord-tenant Will the real threat to society please stand up ? damage to the way that gay people are perceived than any record. Dan Morfitt, head of music at Sure, said Hate” to protest against his lyrics. The dealt with locally. Maybe you should ask relations are not most solicitors’ favourite “Three people out of a student singer still faces up to nine years in jail yourselves why the power should be topic so the legal advice we can glean on Censorship is unnecessary and reactive. Imagine the consequences of banning every community of 20,000 complained. We on gun charges for his part in a fracas in removed if your procedure was so this matter is scant. Colin Levine at the vaguely controversial record: we would be left with nothing except Steps, S Club 7, and argued till we were blue in the face that a Michigan Car Park. flawless? Wessex Lane 3/Glen Eyre 0. National Homelessness Line, who has Five! It is our role as (supposedly) responsible members of society to ensure that views we’re all over 18 and are unlikely to have given us the some of the most on violence etc. are not accepted. But don’t believe that if kids don’t hear them from our opinions about homosexuality be Pat Wintersgill I could sit here all day and list the reasons knowledgeable legal advice, says that it rappers that they won’t hear them at all. And remember that if you do find Eminem influenced by the homophobic lyrics of a why your letter has annoyed me, but to be is the landlord who has responsibility for particularly offensive you can always resort to the ultimate in personal censorship. The singer, but it didn’t do any good.” He honest, time is of the essence. I have a the deposit. If this is so, can an Estate off button. went on to say he would defy the ban “to Neil Anderson (former LGB rep for SUSU) meeting with my Bar Manager to clean Agent legally take on a landlord as a Ed- Congrats Neil. Please collect your Free Case of WARP! from the VP Ofiice our beer lines, discuss future promotions, client for whom they have only a name? on Level 2 (Main Union). review problems/successes with In February last In 1996, a group of staff...issues that you, Glen Eyre, may This cautionary tale ends in the present year, Leeds student unions, including Dear Glen-Eyre Bar, Dear Editor, want to address before throwing out your day, with no conclusion. It would have University student Cardiff, banned Pepsi I have to say I read your interview with As a Duty Manager of a Wessex Lane toys and going on strike. been very difficult to have avoided what union voted to because the company the Wessex Scene with a slight smile on Bar, I find it very difficult to understand has happened because we had no revoke the life-long was working in my face. Your use of irony was brilliant why the employees and committee of Yours, knowledge of landlord-tenant law. If you membership of the Burma, which has a as you tried to fool us into thinking that Glen Eyre Hall Bar have moaned at an A Bar Person. are about to sign a contract with a home secretary Jack Straw, their poor human rights beer tokens were a better form of apparently improved situation. The last landlord through an estate agent, ask for former president, because of his record. payment then actual hard currency into issue of the Wessex Scene reported that Dear Editor, the landlord’s address. If the estate agent “anti-libertarian policies” your accounts, which I’m sure helps to the bar was to be brought into line more During housing week, many student refuses, at the very least ask to have a priorities are to get the best houses, in the statement on your deposit receipt to the decrease those huge overdrafts you must closely to those of Wessex Lane and I Around 80 student The controversial evangelical best part of town, with the best choice of effect that deposit monies will be have from spending more than you get in feel justified, nay, obliged, in explaining unions, including organisation The International housemates. The contract is not a returned to you by the estate agent. If you tokens every night. a little about our alcohol-vending Cardiff and Church of Christ was banned from priority; after all you generally do not are unsure about anything at all to do Now the increased drinks prices you threesome. Cambridge, ban canvassing on campus by 23 student have a choice when it comes to this. In with the tenancy, the Student Advice and harped on about, oh if only the Labour the sale or unions in the mid 1990s, 1996, we signed the contract on a house Information Centre on the Union government could have you spin doctor Firstly, our staff are paid £4.22 per hour, advertisement of including Manchester, that I was hoping to make my home for Concourse is a mine of information and capabilities you seem to then they a hearty wage for bar work, and are paid NestlÈ products because students do Birmingham and the the duration of my PhD. One year later have been a huge support through our wouldn’t be knee deep in the shit they are from the moment they start their shift not agree with the company’s ethical London School of we moved out and are still waiting for case. If you are one of the thousands of at the moment. Don’t try and fool us in until they finish. This means that a policy and marketing of baby milk in Economics. the Wessex Lane Bars that were paying member of staff receives around £20 for our deposit. students owed millions of pounds in the developing world. more for our beer and that we’re being their weekly shift. For the record, having deposit, this has become a particularly ripped off or that being employed by the been an integral part of the interviewing We found our house through an estate hot issue so kick up a fuss, see your MP, Sheffield University, seemingly devil incarnate business team for the selection of bar staff, one of agent, Gables Property Services. It tell your local newspaper, and lets see if among others, has Since 1998, the services we’re, dare I say it, ripping our the most common questions is “do I get belonged to one ‘Fiona Harris’, whose we can get some clarity in the law on this banned all Bacardi NUS have banned fellow students off! Better quality for a paid in beer or cash”, and after being told address, according to the contract, was issue. products from the all McDonalds’ few extra pennies, we know it and so do the details of their pay-packet, the sighs the house we were about to move into. At Isabel Sargent student union bar in advertising or you. Certainly I have my reservations of relief flourish. After all, who wants to no place on the contract were Gables protest at US trade special offers from about a profit orientated University be paid a few beer tokens instead of Property Services mentioned. This is embargoes against Cuba, which any student union, because of the service running the bars, but the changes having the freedom to spend their wage where our problems lay, but we didn’t students feel are depriving Cubans of company’s ethical policy. we’ve experienced have only been on that that they wish? Wessex Lane realise that at the time. We were told that medical and food supplies. 127 F Above Bar Street a ‘Shaun’ sorted out everything to do positive: brighter bars with posters and 1/Glen Eyre 0. Beside: The Square more offers and give-aways than ever with the house; Gables just took the before. Oh and for those in the Lanes I’m Secondly, a little should be said about the money from us. If we needed a repair In 1999, Cambridge’s ALWAYS OPEN LATE sure you’ll all understand when I say that rise in bar prices. done, ‘Shaun’ would consider it; Gables student union banned we’ve a boss who doesn’t keep his little Admittedly, our cheapest lager and cider was just the go-between. Fiona Harris the Officer Training cupboard locked! Glen Bar, wise-up, has increased by 10p per pint, Guinness herself didn’t seem to have very much to Corps from before your’s goes a little bare as you by 5p and bitter by 20p. However, the do with it. canvassing at its FEED A FRIEND FOR FREE ! Almost every student union in Britain weep into your better quality pint. products are far more popular than ever freshers’ fair because students Buy a Footlong Sub & a large drink and get banned an FHM special student before, owing to the quality of the Our relations with the Agency were never disapproved of the armed forces’ a second Footlong of equal or lesser value FREE edition last year which featured a Yours, product and change in brewery suppliers. particularly good. When the contract ran discriminatory policy against piece on “how to commit suicide”. Not valid with any other offer. One coupon per person (Your friend must accompany you) A Wessex Lane employee What would you rather sup Glen, a pint out, we were all looking to move homosexuals. WESSEX PAPER FEBRUARY.1 19/2/01 5:16 pm Page 4

PAGE 4 PAGE 5 of watery Heiniken Cold Filtered or a elsewhere. The deposit should have been perfectly chilled Carling? Or perhaps you returned. We have received nothing. In would prefer a pint of rancid fact, we weren’t even been told WHY we Boddingtons over Worthington hadn’t had our deposit back. Jacelyn Creamflow? The addition of Caffreys to Sims, the Director of Gables, said it was Controversial American rapper see what happens.” the pumps was well supported, and most “up to the discretion of the landlord”. She Eminem has been banned from popular spirits have been decreased in instructed us to contact Shaun by ‘phone, STAR LETTER Sheffield University’s radio station Sheffield University’s student paper The price by 10 or 20 pence (e.g, Smirnoff because she claims not to know the Just in case you hadn’t noticed, controversial rapper Eminem, aka Marshall Mathers, and newspaper in a move that has Steel Press has been banned from Red, Bacardi, Archers, Malibu, etc, etc). whereabouts of Fiona Harris. She refused aka Slim Shady, played a set of gigs in Britain during February. His lyrics are often caused acrimony within the student reviewing the new Marshal Mathers LP A move instigated for profit-boosting to accept any responsibility for the explicit, violent, drugs related, misogynistic and homophobic. These concerts where community. The artist will no longer but is allowed to feature the singer in its purposes? Unlikely. Wessex Lane 2/Glen deposit, despite the fact that we paid it to accompanied by various protests, especially in the ‘gay village’ of Manchester. The be heard on the University radio news section. The paper branded the Eyre 0. Gables and the rent into what appeared to papers, television, and even internet chat-rooms, have all been filled with the calls of station Sure or played at any Union action “reactionary” and featured be her personal bank account. people for this rapper to be banned. As a gay man I watched these scenes with interest, events. Students wearing Eminem representatives of the student media with Thirdly, is it any wonder that Business but while I can’t condone the sentiments that Eminem expresses, I cannot agree with the clothing will not be allowed into the gags over their mouths in protest. A poll Services are taking power away from the We took the case to the court using idea of banning him. According to the argument, an impressionable audience of university bar. of students in Sheffield found that 76% farce known as “The Glen Eyre Hall Bars Jacelyn’s home address and finally had schoolchildren hear his lyrics condoning drug-abuse and violence and therefore grow disagree with the ban, with 8% in favour. Committee”? They appear to have had both Jacelyn and Shaun in front of a up believing these views to be correct. This, initially, seems a reasonable argument. The surprise move has resulted in a little success in attracting more people to judge. They both claimed that our money constitutional dilemma for the university, The Union defended its action by citing their bar through promotions, had been put into an account for Fiona But haven’t we heard it before? In the mid-1950s there were howls of disapproval when which justified the action under its Gay- its responsibility to ensure they create friendliness - even a few new lightbulbs Harris and they could not return it Elvis Presley gyrated his hips, causing the Ed Sullivan show to film him from the waist Friendly Policy. Eminem has been “an environment in which individuals would have been an improvement over because they had no access to this up only. In 1966 many called for the Beatles to be banned after John Lennon frequently accused of homophobia in his and groups of individuals are free from the dreary atmosphere that suffocates the account. The judge did not ask for proof claimed:’We’re more popular than Jesus now’ (which they probably were). Controversy lyrics and the decision came after discrimination, harassment and cheer within the merry individual. of any of these statements. We now have surrounded Queen’s ‘Another One Bites the Dust’ in 1980 when someone discovered complaints from students who were intimidation.” However, many students Wessex Lane Hall Bars are managed far a judgement against Fiona Harris worth that the chorus sounded a little like ‘it’s fun to smoke marijuana’ if played backwards. offended by his songs. The committee of have accused the Union for being more efficiently and effectively through a over £800. However, because neither Mike Reid famously banned the ‘overtly sexual’ ‘Relax’ by Frankie Goes to Union sabbaticals that made the decision hypocritical, as the LP is still being sold team of competent staff and experienced Jacelyn nor Shaun can tell us her Hollywood. As for the drugs references, try listening to ‘Itchycoo Park’ by the Small has been accused of censorship and in the Union shop and earning a healthy Duty Managers, who work under a co- whereabouts, we have no way of Faces, ‘Perfect Day’ by Lou Reed, or ‘Purple Haze’ by Hendrix. circumventing the correct procedures in profit... ordinating Bar Manager answering to claiming this money. We cannot even put taking the step, and media chiefs in “The Big Chief”, the Wessex Lane Bars a Charging Order on her property Other forms of media received less attention when dealing with these subjects. Brett Sheffield vowed to break the ban by The Grammy Awards ceremony will Manager. In this sense, issues very rarely because when we started the court Easton Ellis’s film, ‘American Psycho’ contains more violence against women than any continuing to broadcast the rapper’s follow Eminem’s February tour of escalate to proceedings, Gables sold the house. of Eminem’s tracks. Trainspotting painted a very real picture of drug-taking. As for work. England, where American homosexual the level where Business Services are homophobia, the negative imagery of John Inman in ‘Are You Being Served?’ did more organisations plan a “Rally Against required to intervene, and problems are So who is responsible? Landlord-tenant Will the real threat to society please stand up ? damage to the way that gay people are perceived than any record. Dan Morfitt, head of music at Sure, said Hate” to protest against his lyrics. The dealt with locally. Maybe you should ask relations are not most solicitors’ favourite “Three people out of a student singer still faces up to nine years in jail yourselves why the power should be topic so the legal advice we can glean on Censorship is unnecessary and reactive. Imagine the consequences of banning every community of 20,000 complained. We on gun charges for his part in a fracas in removed if your procedure was so this matter is scant. Colin Levine at the vaguely controversial record: we would be left with nothing except Steps, S Club 7, and argued till we were blue in the face that a Michigan Car Park. flawless? Wessex Lane 3/Glen Eyre 0. National Homelessness Line, who has Five! It is our role as (supposedly) responsible members of society to ensure that views we’re all over 18 and are unlikely to have given us the some of the most on violence etc. are not accepted. But don’t believe that if kids don’t hear them from our opinions about homosexuality be Pat Wintersgill I could sit here all day and list the reasons knowledgeable legal advice, says that it rappers that they won’t hear them at all. And remember that if you do find Eminem influenced by the homophobic lyrics of a why your letter has annoyed me, but to be is the landlord who has responsibility for particularly offensive you can always resort to the ultimate in personal censorship. The singer, but it didn’t do any good.” He honest, time is of the essence. I have a the deposit. If this is so, can an Estate off button. went on to say he would defy the ban “to Neil Anderson (former LGB rep for SUSU) meeting with my Bar Manager to clean Agent legally take on a landlord as a Ed- Congrats Neil. Please collect your Free Case of WARP! from the VP Ofiice our beer lines, discuss future promotions, client for whom they have only a name? on Level 2 (Main Union). review problems/successes with In February last In 1996, a group of staff...issues that you, Glen Eyre, may This cautionary tale ends in the present year, Leeds student unions, including Dear Glen-Eyre Bar, Dear Editor, want to address before throwing out your day, with no conclusion. It would have University student Cardiff, banned Pepsi I have to say I read your interview with As a Duty Manager of a Wessex Lane toys and going on strike. been very difficult to have avoided what union voted to because the company the Wessex Scene with a slight smile on Bar, I find it very difficult to understand has happened because we had no revoke the life-long was working in my face. Your use of irony was brilliant why the employees and committee of Yours, knowledge of landlord-tenant law. If you membership of the Burma, which has a as you tried to fool us into thinking that Glen Eyre Hall Bar have moaned at an A Bar Person. are about to sign a contract with a home secretary Jack Straw, their poor human rights beer tokens were a better form of apparently improved situation. The last landlord through an estate agent, ask for former president, because of his record. payment then actual hard currency into issue of the Wessex Scene reported that Dear Editor, the landlord’s address. If the estate agent “anti-libertarian policies” your accounts, which I’m sure helps to the bar was to be brought into line more During housing week, many student refuses, at the very least ask to have a priorities are to get the best houses, in the statement on your deposit receipt to the decrease those huge overdrafts you must closely to those of Wessex Lane and I Around 80 student The controversial evangelical best part of town, with the best choice of effect that deposit monies will be have from spending more than you get in feel justified, nay, obliged, in explaining unions, including organisation The International housemates. The contract is not a returned to you by the estate agent. If you tokens every night. a little about our alcohol-vending Cardiff and Church of Christ was banned from priority; after all you generally do not are unsure about anything at all to do Now the increased drinks prices you threesome. Cambridge, ban canvassing on campus by 23 student have a choice when it comes to this. In with the tenancy, the Student Advice and harped on about, oh if only the Labour the sale or unions in the mid 1990s, 1996, we signed the contract on a house Information Centre on the Union government could have you spin doctor Firstly, our staff are paid £4.22 per hour, advertisement of including Manchester, that I was hoping to make my home for Concourse is a mine of information and capabilities you seem to then they a hearty wage for bar work, and are paid NestlÈ products because students do Birmingham and the the duration of my PhD. One year later have been a huge support through our wouldn’t be knee deep in the shit they are from the moment they start their shift not agree with the company’s ethical London School of we moved out and are still waiting for case. If you are one of the thousands of at the moment. Don’t try and fool us in until they finish. This means that a policy and marketing of baby milk in Economics. the Wessex Lane Bars that were paying member of staff receives around £20 for our deposit. students owed millions of pounds in the developing world. more for our beer and that we’re being their weekly shift. For the record, having deposit, this has become a particularly ripped off or that being employed by the been an integral part of the interviewing We found our house through an estate hot issue so kick up a fuss, see your MP, Sheffield University, seemingly devil incarnate business team for the selection of bar staff, one of agent, Gables Property Services. It tell your local newspaper, and lets see if among others, has Since 1998, the services we’re, dare I say it, ripping our the most common questions is “do I get belonged to one ‘Fiona Harris’, whose we can get some clarity in the law on this banned all Bacardi NUS have banned fellow students off! Better quality for a paid in beer or cash”, and after being told address, according to the contract, was issue. products from the all McDonalds’ few extra pennies, we know it and so do the details of their pay-packet, the sighs the house we were about to move into. At Isabel Sargent student union bar in advertising or you. Certainly I have my reservations of relief flourish. After all, who wants to no place on the contract were Gables protest at US trade special offers from about a profit orientated University be paid a few beer tokens instead of Property Services mentioned. This is embargoes against Cuba, which any student union, because of the service running the bars, but the changes having the freedom to spend their wage where our problems lay, but we didn’t students feel are depriving Cubans of company’s ethical policy. we’ve experienced have only been on that that they wish? Wessex Lane realise that at the time. We were told that medical and food supplies. 127 F Above Bar Street a ‘Shaun’ sorted out everything to do positive: brighter bars with posters and 1/Glen Eyre 0. Beside: The Square more offers and give-aways than ever with the house; Gables just took the before. Oh and for those in the Lanes I’m Secondly, a little should be said about the money from us. If we needed a repair In 1999, Cambridge’s ALWAYS OPEN LATE sure you’ll all understand when I say that rise in bar prices. done, ‘Shaun’ would consider it; Gables student union banned we’ve a boss who doesn’t keep his little Admittedly, our cheapest lager and cider was just the go-between. Fiona Harris the Officer Training cupboard locked! Glen Bar, wise-up, has increased by 10p per pint, Guinness herself didn’t seem to have very much to Corps from before your’s goes a little bare as you by 5p and bitter by 20p. However, the do with it. canvassing at its FEED A FRIEND FOR FREE ! Almost every student union in Britain weep into your better quality pint. products are far more popular than ever freshers’ fair because students Buy a Footlong Sub & a large drink and get banned an FHM special student before, owing to the quality of the Our relations with the Agency were never disapproved of the armed forces’ a second Footlong of equal or lesser value FREE edition last year which featured a Yours, product and change in brewery suppliers. particularly good. When the contract ran discriminatory policy against piece on “how to commit suicide”. Not valid with any other offer. One coupon per person (Your friend must accompany you) A Wessex Lane employee What would you rather sup Glen, a pint out, we were all looking to move homosexuals. WESSEX PAPER FEBRUARY.1 19/2/01 5:16 pm Page 6

PAGE 6 PAGE 7 YOUR COMMENT Stats To Consider THE END SATIRE! Gene-ius! When Buying IS NEAR A new diagnostic kit has been developed by Professor Tom Brown and colleagues at the University’s internationally renowned Chemistry department, for identifying serious Student elections - my final opportunity chromosomal abnormalities, such as those associated with Down’s Syndrome and some to vote someone I’ve never met into an A bright red screen in the union bar cancers. Pieces of fluorescent DNA are used to stain matching strands of DNA within obscurely titled position that has no Your Ball Tickets encourages patrons to shame NTL for the human genome, lighting up any anomalies. relevance to everyday student-life. The their supposed bad practice. This anti- student’s union seems to have failed to corporate stance struck me as slightly Labour Rules Out ‘Top-Up’ Fees realise that to create an effective Based on previous years... odd considering the union’s standard democratic system requires much more - Average waiting time for alcohol at the Grad Ball: 37 mins policy of unconditionally embracing the than simply giving people the right to - Average journey time to Portsmouth for the Monte Ball: 42 mins almighty pound. David Blunkett, the Education Secretary has assured the public that should Labour be vote, and the ability to affix posters in - Average cost of a pint at the Medics’ Ball: £2.00 voted in again after the next general election, they would not allow the so-called ‘elite’ such obscure places that one is forced to - Average length of adhesive tape used during preparations for the Medics’ Ball: 250m A refreshingly jovial ‘President’s universities to charge top-up fees. Although parents have breathed a collective sigh of encounter them for at least six months - 81% of couples who attend the Monte Ball have sex during or after the Ball Message’ recently encouraged us to relief, the surprise pledge angered Universities, which complain that they are in after the elections. - 79% of couples who attend the Monte Ball have sex with each other during or after the thank Nestle for their donations of free financial crisis. Ball cold-coffee drinks. Now I know how So what is the cause of student apathy? - Average number of pints of beer consumed per person at the Connaught Ball: 12 easy it is to gain massive amounts of Lib Dems Rule Out Tuition Fees Firstly, there is very little direct election - Three quarters of a tonne of real sand was needed for this year’s Medics’ Ball cheap promotion for an ethically unsound of student representation leading to a company, I’ll apply for that job in advertising. The Liberal Democrats have pledged to abolish tuition fees for higher education, should distancing between the student body Exxon’s PR department (...my CV’s in - 4 litres of gold paint were used to cover the bodies of the models in this year’s Monte they be voted in. This is part of a package which they claimed would provide free and the union council. Rather than the post). Last year the NUS signed a Ball publicity. education for all and open up Universities to students from poorer backgrounds, as well giving each department the chance to £625,000 deal with Bacardi - ensuring - 1% of people who attend student balls may develop psychiatric anomalies that cause as an injection of £700m into the sector, above existing government spending plans. elect a number of representatives that them to quote dubious statistics. that their line of drinks were available, would be directly accountable to their without competition, in all student union ‘electorate’, we have an unusual system Note: any resemblance of these stats to facts, living or dead, is purely coincidental. bars throughout the country. The Bacardi Top Marks for Economics Department of voting officers that play no obvious family’s involvement in the anti-Cuba part in a representative process (UCOM campaign, their use of Cuban imagery in The Department of Economics achieved top marks of 24 out of 24, after its visit from representative number 7 anyone?). ad campaigns and their funding the Quality Assurance Agency last week. It also received Grade 5 in the last Research There is a single representative on involvement with the anti-Cuban, Assessment Exercise. Dept. Head, Professor Alan Hamlin said: “The whole department council to represent the views of the possibly terrorist, organisation the Cuban were involved in preparing for the Review process and it’s very satisfying to see these entire engineering faculty for example, American Foundation (CANF). efforts rewarded”. and one for postgraduates - yet small Middlesex University, among a handful organisations like the Wessex Scene of others, resisted and decided in an National e-science Role for Tony Hey and RAG manage to get at least one almost unanimous vote to stock the voting member each. genuine Cuban Havana Club products in The Dean of Engineering, Professor Tony Hey has been appointed by the Engineering their bar. When the EU have said that the and Physical Sciences Research Council (EPSRC) as Director of the E-science Core The number of positions open to actions of the US and Bacardi concerning Programme, starting from 1 April. The programme will be investing in new information students is baffling. Why, for example Cuba are unethical, why was this issue so technologies, including so-called ‘Grid’ technologies in distributed computing, are the positions of Vice-president readily ignored by SUSU? allowing scientists to pursue cutting-edge research when faced with ever-increasing Communications and Education and amounts of data. Prof. Hey first joined the University in 1974 and has been Dean of Welfare sabbatical open for election? Flicking through the last issue of Wessex Engineering since 1999. “I am delighted to have been offered this very challenging Surely these roles would suit a Scene revealed an interesting full-page role”, he said. “I am looking forward to working with EPSRC, the DTI and the science professional person much better. spread in the sports section (pg15) - Things to do on and engineering communities...” Without wishing to detract from the Arthur Anderson with a half page work of the current sabbaticals, for advertisement, preceded by an article surely they have been dedicated, these St. Patrick’s Day asserting the wonders of the company’s Academics win Prizes sabbatical positions require much more sponsorship deal with the AU. As far as I Dr Nils Andersson of the Maths Department and Dr Andrew Roberts of the School of than the ability to run a successful self- 1. Get drunk on cheap stout. am aware, Arthur Anderson is a magical Ocean and Earth Science have both won the prestigious Philip Leverhulme Prizes, election campaign. Editing a 2. Get drunk at the AU Ball. company, staffed by freethinking, healthy awarded by the Leverhulme Trust, recognising world-class achievement of young newspaper, effectively raising student 3. Get drunk at the Monte Ball. types who desire nothing else from life research scholars, who have made substantial and original contributions to fundamental awareness of very important issues and 4. Get drunk at the Wessex Films MiniFestival other than to see students enjoying sport. knowledge. Each will receive £50,000. the other roles that sabbatical positions (Debating Chamber, tickets £1 in advance. Email However would the same lack of Purr-fect Post entail are skills that cannot, with the “[email protected]” for details...) journalistic standards apply to more best will in the world, be learnt in a 5. Get drunk. controversial company sponsorship (how Veterinary behaviourist, Rachel Casey has been appointed to a new lectureship in feline single sabbatical term. An experienced about ‘The coffee bar in association with behaviour and welfare at the Univeristy of Southampton. The post, which is supported industry professional must be a better McDonaldsTM’)? The constitution over 5 years by a £250,000 investment by The Cats Protection charity, will provide a choice for students. places the Wessex Scene firmly under the unique opportunity to study many aspects of feline behaviour and participate in other YYOUOU COULDCOULD LLOSEOSE ITIT ALLALL editorial control of the Union; perhaps cat-related projects undertaken by the charity. Reducing the number of electable one must now go elsewhere for unbiased sabbatical positions would make the job ININ ANAN INSTINSTANTANT news? of president, our true representative to THE AVERAGE STUDENT TAKES POSSESSIONS WORTH OVER £3,000 TO COLLEGE the NUS and the population at large, Is the Union a soft touch for companies much more enticing - and would lead to ITIT COULDCOULD looking for free/low-cost advertising, and a far more engaging election campaign. the opportunity to bolster their corporate image to young people? Or is this simply BEBE YYOUOU.. the SU doing as much as it can to make YOU’RE AN EASY TARGET life better for the student body? These TAKE COVER FROM ONLY questions can only be answered in time, £18 PER YEAR but perhaps this is the thin end of a very Chris Lowis Call 023 8067 6667 powerful wedge that will eventually The Gower Building, erode the freedoms of students. Students Southampton University. STUDENT CRIME www.endsleigh.co.uk IT’S A LOTTERY that are forced to rely on the Union out of financial necessity, and do not have the ENDSLEIGH same level of consumer-power as non- STUDENT POSSESSION INSURANCE students. Chris Lowis WESSEX PAPER FEBRUARY.1 19/2/01 5:16 pm Page 6

PAGE 8 PAGE 9

National No Smoking Day is coming up soon (10th March). This is the day used by many people as the day on which they Campaign Corner will start giving up smoking. My other thought of the day regards someone, a friend, your parents. A It is either the day they actually throw all mental health. It is something everybody problem shared may not be a problem remaining packets down the toilet and has. Although there is often a certain halved but at least it has more heads watch their lighter flame die one last amount of stigma attached to this subject working on it, SO LET SOMEONE time, or, the day they go along to a that is largely due to the fear and KNOW THAT SOMETHING'S "Quitters" session. ignorance abundant among most people. BOTHERING YOU! This year alone, 1 in 4 people will suffer Nominations closed on Friday the 16th, If you have any gossip or bits of infomation the Scene should hear about, email: Quitters is a national organisation which Yet another editorial effortlessly from some sort of mental Finally just to let you know that I have having been competently dealt with by [email protected] has a local branch based at Southampton rolls off the press of the Wessex health problem. met recently the diligent Claire Kennard, in her role as Health Promotion Unit, not only that, but Scene, this one being one of the with NTL and Returning Officer. However due to a they will soon be running sessions at Nominations for Union Election 6-7 March 2001 You almost certainly have at least one discussed most important for this section. computer error; we must assume, the first your very own Students' Union! friend or family member that is suffering many of the As it will undoubtedly have not list of candidates inadvertently included President: Stephen Edwards, Felix Environmental Officer: Adam Moniz from some sort of mental ill health, if you complaints that the names of one Marie Herraculous Hebblethwaite and Neil Payne. and Joe Whittick. Every other Tuesday from 12pm - 2pm in escaped all those but the most are not yourself. You almost certainly have been (ever heard of her?) as a Presidential the Bell tower (Students' Union West unobservant brain-dead have at least one friend or family member brought to me candidate, and a Krystal Miller as VP VP-Comms: Chris Leese, Jamie Moore Equal Opportunities Officer: Kofi Building) a man from Quitters will be students, it is election time. and Niaomah Walsh. Debrah and Nick Le Prevost. that is suffering from physical ill health, by you and Comms nominee. This mistake was available for YOU to discuss how and how many had a cold over Christmas? your JCRs. I quickly realised and amended. Much to when you are going to give up. He will Education and Welfare: Jon Hartley, UCOM: Kevin Coomber, William Ellis, So you see, there should be no perceived haven't found The time when, if last year is to go by, the relief of many a candidate who didn't hold your hand through the whole Kate Holmes and Dominic Walsh. Jon Fletcher, Tim Rowlandson and peculiarity to the concept of mental many solutions posters will be put up and torn down, relish the prospect of encountering a fight process and give you loads of helpful Jonathan Walsh. health; we all have it in the same way that as such but flyers handed out, tears will be shed, with an incumbent sabbatical. AU President: James ‘Fish’ Baker, Kyle hints and support. tantrums will be thrown, complaints will we all have physical health, and there are several explanations and steps Bateman, Antonio ‘Des/Tiger’ DeSouza NUS Delegate: Bobby Bacchus, Kevin sometimes both mental and physical are in the right direction! Take a look at be made, and candidates will be rejected. The sabbatical candidates themselves are and Alex Paterson. Coomber, Kofi Debrah, Jon Hartley, NB : Smoking kills about 5 times more worse than at others. www.soton.ac.uk/~today over the next All but a small elite group will get reviewed in the latter part of this section, Felix Hebblethwaite, Robin Hobbs, Kate people than all other avoidable deaths put few weeks and look out for NTL stuff elected. And no one much will really and a full list is given of all candidates WSA President: Thomas Morgan. Holmes, Jaap Huibers, Eva Papaionnou, together - including road accidents, fires, To finish I'd just like to say that whatever there. care. The turn out will be low with only who are standing for all positions oppsite. Phil Pope, Nick Le Prevost, Adrian other accidents, suicide, murder, AIDS, the problem, there is someone out there about one in 10 bothering to vote. As Clubs and Socs Officer: Michael George Longdon, Jamie Moore, Dominic Walsh, alcohol and illicit drugs, etc. - GIVE UP and Tim Thornton. Jonathan Walsh, Christopher Webber who can help you. A good place to start Charlie Pugh with elections in general people are being Good luck to all candidates, and rather NOW and Joe Whittick. is in the student advice centre or your turned off. you than me! Isn’t he too young to smoke? doctor but if you don't fancy that, do tell

President’s Column

PAGE 8 PAGE 9

President’s Column

Have you ever thought that we could win RATS TALES University Challenge (probably not) or that you could stand up to Jeremy Views expressed by the author of this anonymous diary are not Paxman or answer the questions, then 6th & 7th MARCH 2001 come and have a go, just e-mail: [email protected], and maybe we can necessarily those of the Students’ Union! show them how its done this year. Apparently they put you up in a posh Union Council the Debating Chamber at the mention of sheepish looking Ordinary Member of RON (Re-Open Nomination) because I hotel and pay for your meals and stuff, so his name suggested that everyone knew Council. It concerned his nomination for wouldn’t trust this bunch of monkeys it will be worth it for the day out. Monday 5th February who Barry was, but there was no one the post of student representative to with a banana let alone the Students’ there called Barry … I suspect that Barry University Senate … or should I say the Union (Ed – I’m sure they’d know how I don't know whether any of you have I was quite looking forward to Council, is infact someone’s pseudonym. Why is fact that he lost. Bad losers are never to handle bananas). heard, but the Students' Union building as it was the first meeting of the year. everyone so fearful to ask questions in appreciated and when you run a will be undergoing massive Surely, the sabbs would have lots to tell their own name? Do they expect to get campaign with the slogan ‘Vote for me … refurbishment due to start over the us? Surely everyone else would be on top bludgeoned to death with a I have no friends’, you have to expect to Surge This term promises to be an exciting one. summer and continuing into next year, form as we build up to this years be humiliated every once in a while. SURGE (Southampton University Radio this will make way for a cinema, elections? Surely? Surge, the new University radio station from Glen Eyre) is going on to 87.7FM nightclub, bar/cafe and a room for clubs launches this month (87.7 FM) and Marie for a one month period on the 17th requiring a sprung floor. So whilst their The sabbs did have something to tell us but (Union President) and Krystal (Vice- February with loads of student DJs, will be loads of disruption for one year mainly it revolved around the same things President) have decided to do freebies and the fabulous show the vice- it will be worth it in the end (I can we had heard about all year, which were the their own show. Reports president and myself are putting on, (not guarantee it). I will be holding open AU Ball, Surge FM and the building emerged that they were the worst two to be missed) this is one of the most meetings and presentations that will be new DJs the trainers had ever refurbishment. Our cuddly Education and Vote RON exciting projects the Students' Union has advertised soon to give all of you the Welfare Sabbatical was notably absent but encountered which doesn’t bode well. ever done. The elections are also chance to view the plans. If you have constitution Unfortunately, I doubt we will have a I am not sure anyone really noticed. She, As elections approach everyone on looming and if you are not standing for a any questions please come and see me for such attempts? (Ed choice but to listen to them. Apparently, apparently, is rather ill. Unfortunately, this Council has decided to be nice to position then I encourage you all to vote as I am more than happy to give you – no, just go missing in the night never their topics of discussion have included had also meant that she has cancelled each other. It’s all incredibly false as whoever gets in will be running the some information. to be seen again). We are meant to live whether snacking on chocolate or bacon Mental Health Week … now I know what and makes for dull viewing. You can place for the next year. It may not seem in a democracy not 70’s Russia sandwiches makes you a better lover. you thinking (Ed - how apt!)…were we spot the front runners a mile off as they like you can make a difference but Have a good term, there are so many where a hammer and sickle is an Perhaps they’re going for the so bad it’s meant to be having a Mental Health week? try to make ‘rational’ and unnecessary believe me you can. Every time you use things you can get involved with, and so accepted political tool (Ed – is this a good approach? I hope so for their sake. points for the sake of saying something. the bars, shop, read this paper or take make sure you make the most of it. Until direct quotation from the Daily The highlight of the meeting had to be It adds nothing to the discussion and is a part in a club you are using the facilities next time, the correspondence from ‘Barry’. This Telegraph?). the Students' Union provides and the bigger turn off than a vote winner. So, was rather absurd for two reasons. First, who am I going to vote for? I’m elected students have a chance to have Second, this particular piece of the ripple of giggles which passed around campaigning for their say on everything that we do. So correspondence was directed at a use your vote and make a difference. WESSEX PAPER FEBRUARY.1 19/2/01 5:16 pm Page 10 Page pm 5:16 19/2/01 FEBRUARY.1 PAPER WESSEX PRESIDENT PAGE10 lne nw aiiis n h student the in facilities of new completion planned the ensure to Work A: policies key your Outline Q: results. gain to ability of the student union has demonstrated my member executive an and Co-ordinator experience developed over the last two and years as NUS my knowledge wide The students. all for deal fair a Union ensure within to campaigning to commitment extensive University Students’ Southampton demonstrated involvement have through I A: best the candidate? you are Why Q: Hebblethwaite Felix keep to want I Southampton. in speaking students and all of interests the of defence in ground of strongly scared my not am standing I the Union. of officers Students’ and members all effectively with work to determined am I A: candidate? best the you are Why Q: Edwards Stephen candidates... the Meet I’ve further been involved with the Union I Ball. consider myselfqualifiedand competent. Science Social the committee organising the of am Chairman and currently President was JCR I a Union. previously the to reform needed I have the experience to bring in much A: candidate? best the you are Why Q: Payne Neil :I yu ee cron character, cartoon a were you If Q: NTL. and Uni-link from services reliable and fair of provision the Demand National the Students. of Union with conjunction in top-up fees of implementation the and fees tuition against campaign to continue and education higher free to right the Defend Fight to protect Wednesday afternoons from Wednesdayafternoons protect to Fight night-club complex. cinema and a include to building union all problem. in NTL the out sort and rooms student points (internet) network speed High buildings. the of development More information about the long-term re- separate a into publication. Edge The make fortnightly. Also Scene Wessex making by members and Union the between communication Improve A: key policies your Outline Q: more to YOU! matters what get and YOU from feedback to and want policy an open-door have will I change. positive so to opposed a am I not that much yet make and difference to Union Students’ the in experience enough have I interests. commercial and profit before and - first University students put to Services the Business on pressure the :I yu ee cron character, cartoon why? and be, you would which a were you If Q: RAG. and ENTS of activities the enhance Toand expand fund. hardship own To establish the Union’s Hall fees. in reduction a an for clarity greater campaign To are: policies key My [email protected]. me e-mail you if request on available policy are details full of ideas, array an have I A: policies key your Outline Q: me. for vote and change in reform the Union for the better, you’ll see to like you’d If Union clique. exclusive that of part being not untarnished by previous Union squabbles though face, fresh a am I Officer.Men’s being currently years, three past the for h tra o tmtbe academic timetabled of threat the agencies. study. apin o improved for Campaign osn poiin o all for provision housing tdns n esr the ensure and students adod ad letting and landlords by respected are student tenants of rights legal A: Big enough to get the job done! job the get to enough Big A: ego? your is big How Q: to it! admit enough man I’m and Fudd, Elma A: first for non-compulsory Uni-link Make week. housing forward bring - issues housing rented of awareness raise to Continue fees. top-up to opposition national Effective :Crmn I m i bnd n you and boned authority! my respect should big am I Cartman. A: ego? What A: ego? your is big How Q: photo! the at Tinlook Tin. Just A: why? and be, you would which er ad oio te eea o the of renewal the monitor and years and why? and Frt contract. ‘First’ character, which would you be, you would character,which Closer working with all JCRs - JCRs all with working Closer :I yu ee cartoon a were you If Q: seily h new the especially omtes t Winchester at committees late. ep h Lbay and open Library Facilities Computer the Keep and Road. Archers :Hwbgi orego? your is big How Q: : oeae o large, to Moderate A: n ta’ just that’s and my ego! my important in life. in important very is think I that a humour of has sense he because Simpson, Bart A: why? and be, you would which character,cartoon a were you If Q: for. work to me the want students for that thing work would I importantly Most address. e-mail their keep can students leaving so forwarding mail more bar. Another SU idea I have, is for to set up e- the in surroundings campaign comfortable also would I negotiate. would I special that promotions many and issues student on articles include would magazine This magazine. union student’s a start and Scene Wessex the expand would I A: policies. key you Outline Q: union students’ the with work to wants who someome for important it think I that personality approachable for students. I also have working a friendly and of history a a the with am candidate I of Therefore society. President politics as experience, societies and clubs roots grass have EDUCATIONit. in nothing with always tent big a like much – deflated been ego’s my – Dome Millennium the of contents present the as big As A: ego? your is big How Q: it! read would many not although strip, comic a is life my – myself of caricature a I’m A: character, why? and cartoon be, you would which a were you If Q: officers JCRs, with reps. course and welfare, with concerned links Closer access. library hour 24 for Campaign fees. top-up against Campaign grants. of return for Campaign A: policies. key you Outline Q: VoteHartley4EdWelfNo1. difference! a make can we others of help the With done. things V-P COMMS n bcue I because working. And best hard am I Because A: candidate? the you are Why Q: Leese Christopher & WELFARE get to and passion experience I the have I believe students. best the serve to want I A: candidate? the you are Why Q: Hartley Jon efr nes r cniee b the to and by made decision every in university considered are needs and welfare education students that ensure To fees. up in) participation specific campaignsonissues such astop- student encourage (and support and NUS, the Towith work own their have need. special site each at all students that recognising across whilst sites students university all equal for provide services to efforts continue rented To service. uni-link the privately To create a forum for all students who use improve accommodation. to year this out carried work the continuing as well as residence, of halls in students by incurred problems the address To A: policies. key you Outline Q: and safe as possible. as university at time enjoyable have you that ensure you, and represent both to opportunity the the about needs ofstudents,andwouldliketohave greatly care I to change. use effect to methods best the thus understand and implemented, are procedures ensure Cinema: and Nightclub A: policies. key you Outline Q: pressure. under best my at work I ahead. go developments these ensure to nail and its tooth fight will of I commitments. out back to university not the will allow and industry construction the next in experience years four had have year.I begin hopefully union will massive renovations The design. and publishing website professional as job such the for skills right the have national I level. a at and and locally both students results Southampton of behalf on campaigning achieving teamwork, to dedicated am I better. even perform it the union works and can see how to make etr odto ta I on i, I it, found life. my in succeeded have would I than condition better slightly even in world this leave I If society.for work to is life in ambition My ego. big a have I think don’t I A: ego? your is big How Q: university and union students both which in way the best of knowledge good a have I A: candidate? the you are Why Q: Holmes Kate how understand I years. three for SUSU of all aspects in best been involved have I A: candidate? the you are Why Q: Moore Jamie of hiding it! hiding of job good a quite do just I – Enormous A: ego? your is big How Q: end! the in wins always but up, make- her on time much too far spends fast, too drives She Pitstop. Penelope A: character, why? and cartoon be, you would which a were you If Q: body.student the of representative informed persuasive a A: As big as my hat. my as A: big As ego? your is big How Q: pudding... the eat pudding, the A: Homer Simpson... eat the pudding, eat character, why? and cartoon be, you would which a were you If Q: the in offices. SU site satellite all at and union access computer SUSU and websites of development E-resources: services. Uni-link unreliable and halls in more charges Crackdown: on extortionate NTL guise, image. date to up more and competitions TV publication, journalism, including investigative changes fortnightly new Scene: Wessex a time. full FM on launch station radio student Southampton-wide Station: Radio union renovation. building £3.5m massive of completion fie fr .A a tdn nre have I nurse student executive a As 2. an for officer been having ago, years like don’t I Comms? VP of role the for Tinano Turnerpromise impression! As ic I tre 3 started I since been SU the in involved have I A: candidate? best the you are Why Q: Walsh Dominic I rest?’ the all than better best the ‘Simply A: candidate? best the you are Why Q: Walsh Niaomh : 1 years cubed. 21 A: ego? your is big How Q: men because mars. from ARE – Martian the Marvin A: character, cartoon why? and be, you would which a were you If Q: provision. childcare for equality Greater anonymous grads. post and students reform, international for banking better marking, NTL sexual health, meningitis, on campaigns Run representation course Develop service. bus for Campaign WorkILT.with computers. and library to access hour 24 for Campaign fees. top-up and tuition Oppose A: policies. key you Outline Q: am I committed totheroleofEdand Wel job. Sab. this to skills and most experience bring can that candidate the am I Education and Welfare Sab. I believe that of role the into transferable directly are that skills studying years 3 last the spent you allow me!). allow you if only (but a star!’… is ‘Moi words own Piggy’s Miss use To A: ego? your is big How Q: Bless. muppets. those behind her for anything do but would she eyelashes sense dress great pig, powerful one she is only Not idol! cartoon a much character butMissPiggyisdefinitelymy so not she’s Well A: character, why? and cartoon be, you would which a were you If Q: year! joyous one for slave Toyour be awareness. increase to All parties! + demos + petitions of week A rooms. common for funds Raise what’sknow happening. you let to – advertising Prominent you. Satellite sites – weekly visits. I’ll come to politics! not student just It’s involved. guys each your with Get issue. parties launch your page, spot friend page, Jobs – Scene Wessex halls. and sites all for machines Cash A: policies. key you Outline Q: equally.everyone Corny,true! but representing in believe who individuals weird those of one I’m ‘best’. word the PAGE11 WESSEX PAPER FEBRUARY.1 19/2/01 5:16 pm Page 10 Page pm 5:16 19/2/01 FEBRUARY.1 PAPER WESSEX PRESIDENT PAGE10 I’ve further been involved with the Union I Ball. consider myselfqualifiedand competent. Science Social the committee organising the of am Chairman and currently President was JCR I a Union. previously the to reform needed I have the experience to bring in much A: candidate? best the you are Why Q: Payne Neil student the in facilities of new completion planned the ensure to Work A: policies key your Outline Q: results. gain to ability of the student union has demonstrated my member executive an and Co-ordinator experience developed over the last two and years as NUS my knowledge wide The students. all for deal fair a Union ensure within to campaigning to commitment extensive University Students’ Southampton demonstrated involvement have through I A: best the candidate? you are Why Q: Hebblethwaite Felix keep to want I Southampton. in speaking students and all of interests the of defence in ground of strongly scared my not am standing I the Union. of officers Students’ and members all effectively with work to determined am I A: candidate? best the you are Why Q: Edwards Stephen candidates... the Meet :I yu ee cron character, cartoon a were you If Q: NTL. and Uni-link from services reliable and fair of provision the Demand National the Students. of Union with conjunction in top-up fees of implementation the and fees tuition against campaign to continue and education higher free to right the Defend :I yu ee cron character, cartoon why? and be, you would which a were you If Q: RAG. and ENTS of activities the enhance Toand expand fund. hardship own To establish the Union’s Hall fees. in reduction a an for clarity greater campaign To are: policies key My [email protected]. me e-mail you if request on available policy are details full of ideas, array an have I A: policies key your Outline Q: me. for vote and change in reform the Union for the better, you’ll see to like you’d If Union clique. exclusive that of part being not untarnished by previous Union squabbles though face, fresh a am I Officer.Men’s being currently years, three past the for from Wednesdayafternoons protect to Fight night-club complex. cinema and a include to building union all problem. in NTL the out sort and rooms student points (internet) network speed High buildings. the of development More information about the long-term re- separate a into publication. Edge The make fortnightly. Also Scene Wessex making by members and Union the between communication Improve A: key policies your Outline Q: more to YOU! matters what get and YOU from feedback to and want policy an open-door have will I change. positive so to opposed a am I not that much yet make and difference to Union Students’ the in experience enough have I interests. commercial and profit before and - first University students put to Services the Business on pressure the h tra o tmtbe academic timetabled of threat the agencies. study. apin o improved for Campaign osn poiin o all for provision housing tdns n esr the ensure and students adod ad letting and landlords by respected are student tenants of rights legal A: What ego? What A: ego? your is big How Q: photo! the at Tinlook Tin. Just A: why? and be, you would which A: Big enough to get the job done! job the get to enough Big A: ego? your is big How Q: to it! admit enough man I’m and Fudd, Elma A: first for non-compulsory Uni-link Make week. housing forward bring - issues housing rented of awareness raise to Continue fees. top-up to opposition national Effective :Crmn I m i bnd n you and boned authority! my respect should big am I Cartman. A: er ad oio te eea o the of renewal the monitor and years and why? and Frt contract. ‘First’ character, which would you be, you would character,which Closer working with all JCRs - JCRs all with working Closer :I yu ee cartoon a were you If Q: seily h new the especially omtes t Winchester at committees late. ep h Lbay and open Library Facilities Computer the Keep and Road. Archers :Hwbgi orego? your is big How Q: : oeae o large, to Moderate A: n ta’ just that’s and my ego! my

EDUCATIONit. in nothing with always tent big a like much – deflated been ego’s my – Dome Millennium the of contents present the as big As A: ego? your is big How Q: it! read would many not although strip, comic a is life my – myself of caricature a I’m A: character, why? and cartoon be, you would which a were you If Q: officers JCRs, with reps. course and welfare, with concerned links Closer access. library hour 24 for Campaign fees. top-up against Campaign grants. of return for Campaign A: policies. key you Outline Q: VoteHartley4EdWelfNo1. difference! a make can we others of help the With done. things V-Plife. in important very is think I that a humour of has sense he because Simpson, Bart A: why? and be, you would which character,cartoon a were you If Q: for. work to me the want students for that thing work would I importantly Most address. COMMS e-mail their keep can students leaving so forwarding mail more bar. Another SU idea I have, is for to set up e- the in surroundings campaign comfortable also would I negotiate. would I special that promotions many and issues student on articles include would magazine This magazine. union student’s a start and Scene Wessex the expand would I A: policies. key you Outline Q: union students’ the with work to wants who someome for important it think I that personality approachable for students. I also have working a friendly and of history a a the with am candidate I of Therefore society. President politics as experience, societies and clubs roots grass have

& WELFARE get to and passion experience I the have I believe students. best the serve to want I A: candidate? the you are Why Q: Hartley Jon I because working. And best hard am I Because A: candidate? the you are Why Q: Leese Christopher efr nes r cniee b the to and by made decision every in university considered are needs and welfare education students that ensure To fees. up in) participation specific campaignsonissues such astop- student encourage (and support and NUS, the Towith work own their have need. special site each at all students that recognising across whilst sites students university all equal for provide services to efforts continue rented To service. uni-link the privately To create a forum for all students who use improve accommodation. to year this out carried work the continuing as well as residence, of halls in students by incurred problems the address To A: policies. key you Outline Q: and safe as possible. as university at time enjoyable have you that ensure you, and represent both to opportunity the the about needs ofstudents,andwouldliketohave greatly care I to change. use effect to methods best the thus understand and implemented, are procedures ensure Cinema: and Nightclub A: policies. key you Outline Q: pressure. under best my at work I ahead. go developments these ensure to nail and its tooth fight will of I commitments. out back to university not the will allow and industry construction the next in experience years four had have year.I begin hopefully union will massive renovations The design. and publishing website professional as job such the for skills right the have national I level. a at and and locally both students results Southampton of behalf on campaigning achieving teamwork, to dedicated am I better. even perform it the union works and can see how to make etr odto ta I on i, I it, found life. my in succeeded have would I than condition better slightly even in world this leave I If society.for work to is life in ambition My ego. big a have I think don’t I A: ego? your is big How Q: university and union students both which in way the best of knowledge good a have I A: candidate? the you are Why Q: Holmes Kate how understand I years. three for SUSU of all aspects in best been involved have I A: candidate? the you are Why Q: Moore Jamie fie fr .A a tdn nre have I nurse student executive a As 2. an for officer been having ago, years like don’t I Comms? VP of role the for Tinano Turnerpromise impression! As of hiding it! hiding of job good a quite do just I – Enormous A: ego? your is big How Q: end! the in wins always but up, make- her on time much too far spends fast, too drives She Pitstop. Penelope A: character, why? and cartoon be, you would which a were you If Q: body.student the of representative informed persuasive a hat. my as A: big As ego? your is big How Q: pudding... the eat pudding, the A: Homer Simpson... eat the pudding, eat character, why? and cartoon be, you would which a were you If Q: the in offices. SU site satellite all at and union access computer SUSU and websites of development E-resources: services. Uni-link unreliable and halls in more charges Crackdown: on extortionate NTL guise, image. date to up more and competitions TV publication, journalism, including investigative changes fortnightly new Scene: Wessex a time. full FM on launch station radio student Southampton-wide Station: Radio union renovation. building £3.5m massive of completion ic I tre 3 started I since been SU the in involved have I A: candidate? best the you are Why Q: Walsh Dominic I rest?’ the all than better best the ‘Simply A: candidate? best the you are Why Q: Walsh Niaomh you allow me!). allow you if only (but a star!’… is ‘Moi words own Piggy’s Miss use To A: ego? your is big How Q: Bless. muppets. those behind her for anything do but would she eyelashes sense dress great pig, powerful one she is only Not idol! cartoon a much character butMissPiggyisdefinitelymy so not she’s Well A: character, why? and cartoon be, you would which a were you If Q: year! joyous one for slave Toyour be awareness. increase to All parties! + demos + petitions of week A rooms. common for funds Raise what’sknow happening. you let to – advertising Prominent you. Satellite sites – weekly visits. I’ll come to politics! not student just It’s involved. guys each your with Get issue. parties launch your page, spot friend page, Jobs – Scene Wessex halls. and sites all for machines Cash A: policies. key you Outline Q: equally.everyone Corny,true! but representing in believe who individuals weird those of one I’m ‘best’. word the : 1 years cubed. 21 A: ego? your is big How Q: men because mars. from ARE – Martian the Marvin A: character, cartoon why? and be, you would which a were you If Q: provision. childcare for equality Greater anonymous grads. post and students reform, international for banking better marking, NTL sexual health, meningitis, on campaigns Run representation course Develop service. bus for Campaign WorkILT.with computers. and library to access hour 24 for Campaign fees. top-up and tuition Oppose A: policies. key you Outline Q: am I committed totheroleofEdand Wel job. Sab. this to skills and most experience bring can that candidate the am I Education and Welfare Sab. I believe that of role the into transferable directly are that skills studying years 3 last the spent PAGE11 WESSEX PAPER FEBRUARY.1 19/2/01 5:16 pm Page 12

PAGE 12

Kyle Bateman - No answers submitted

Q: Outline your key policies which would you be, and why? A: I will continue to maintain and A: Roger Rabbit; so I could make out improve the relationship between the AU with Jessica Rabbitt! and the DSR. I will also endeavor to reintroduce all BUSA teams into the Q: How big is your ego? Eastern Division rather than the Western, A: Bigger than John Major, smaller than Old-folk rock February 26th 2001 to reduce traveling time and expense. I Chris Eubank. believe that there should be a sports injuries ...And You Will Know Us By The Trail Of Dead clinic on the main campus open to all Ministry Of Sound New Year James ‘Fish’ Baker students, free of charge. I aim to Terris Q: Why are you the best candidate? improve A: I feel that I know better than any other transport candidate what it means to Wessex, as an and from Wellington AU, to run as well as maintaining a sports ground on match Divine Comedy respectable and closely social club days and for training. reputation. Q: If you were a cartoon character, All Inside!!!

Antonio ‘Des’ DeSouza Q: Outline your key policies A: Keep the club armour and kit going, while making money for the AU and its Q: Why are you the best candidate? clubs by running the option to order from A: I have more experience within the the AU office. Better transport to and union and AU than the other candidates. I from Wellington sports ground. have sat on union council, been a Continued improved relations with DSR. member of both the AU ball committee Re-establish positive links with Clowns and AU council as well as being an and Jesters and maintain Wednesday experienced club officer. Having been colours night. Establish a Wednesday here for three and a half years I night slot for the recreational clubs on a appreciate and respect AU tradition similar line to the colours night. whilst being prepared to modernize those Continued support of colours aspects that have become outdated. clubs. Fundraisers to improve I’m loveable. Oh yes, and the most While some other candidates may see money available for capital wonderful thing about Tigger is I’m the Kids just aren’t making music this as a last minute opportunity expenditure. only one. to stay at university and avoid the real world I have decided to Q: If you were a cartoon Q: How big is your ego? run for election many months ago. character, which would you be, A: It depends on your perspective. I Although I have my own agenda and why? suppose I often tread the fine line like they used to! I want to hear and possibly A: Tigger, because I’m bouncy, between confidence and arrogance, implement the policies and trouncy, flouncy, pouncy, fun, fun, though having said that ‘my mouth’s ideas of other clubs and AU fun, fun, fun. The football club and a never written cheques my ass can’t members. few other people call me Tigger. I hope cash!’

which would you be, and why? Q: Outline your key policies A: Roger Rabbit – Do you remember A: Reduction in cost of all sport and Jessica Rabbit? leisure. Increase membership and participation Q: How big is your ego? The beautiful sounds of GRANDADDY inside rate. A: Not as big as my overdraught. Complete resolution of Wednesday’s all night situation. Close working relations with the Department Alex Paterson of Sport and Recreation. Q: Why are you the best candidate? A: Over the last year my position as Q: If football club captain has meant working you closely with the president on a daily were a basis. I therefore have an excellent cartoon knowledge of what the position involves, character, and how the athletic union works. I’m therefore very capable of the job.

AU PRESIDENT AU At The Drive-In • Reef • Ratpack • The Strokes • Games • The Bricks WESSEX PAPER FEBRUARY.1 19/2/01 5:16 pm Page 12

PAGE 12

Kyle Bateman - No answers submitted

AU PRESIDENT AU At The Drive-In • Reef • Ratpack • The Strokes • Games • The Bricks WESSEX PAPER FEBRUARY.1 19/2/01 5:17 pm Page 14

THE EDGE THE EDGE

VOTE NOW • VOTE NOW • VOTE NOW • VOTE NOW • VOTE NOW • VOTE NOW • WELCOME TO THE EDGE TEAM Editor - Andrew Snowball Dance - Charlotte Devalda Games - James Rumsey EDITORIAL Reviews - Paul Cornwell THE BRICKS - 2001 Film and Theatre - Jenny Szewiel I told you so, didn’t I? Anticipating a rash of complaints due to the With - Lewis Packwood, Darren Pickering, Chris The News with EDGE hound PAUL CORNWELL unhealthily meagre proportions of the Lees, Chris Thornton, Emmanuelle Smith,Tim As Brits and Brats fever sweeps the nation,The Edge indulges in its Houghton, Rachel Lee, Marin McGrath, Steve last issue,The Edge has returned to its TM Johnson, John McKenna,Alex Doak, Brian Clifford usual state of sublime magnificence! now legendary tradition of The Brick Awards . Voting is now open With all the right bits in the right Published by Southampton University places, such as the Top Ten ad Dance Student Union so fill in the form below and get it back to us as soon as possible! section, we also bring you a newly He Copyright 2001 revamped film and theatre section, in an Just tell us your favourites (and Remember you can e-mail your votes to attempt to make it slightly less, well, least favourites) of the last twelve [email protected]. Alternatively, loves his toys / THE EDGE shit. S.U.S.U. months. Is Badly Drawn Boy really bring your completed forms to the Even though they Highfield In what must be the finest turn of the best new artist in Britain? Did Wessex Scene office (above the SU Southampton events in music journalism all year (that Queens Of The Stone Age make bar) or leave them in the box make noise SO17 1BJ good!) we bring you a collection of Top the best album of the year? And provided at the SU reception, in the Drawer US music, from the cover stars TEL:- 02380 595230 was your top TV moment At The Union Concourse. Please don’t go FAX:- 02380 595252 Grandaddy, to Trail of Dead and At The Drive-In playing four different tearing out any pages until you’ve read Drive-In, both from Texas. You lucky songs at once on Jools Holland or the superb Grandaddy interview on the EMAIL buggers. Judy Finnigan’s sensible bra on live, Will Liam [email protected] other side, obviously. It’s perfectly [email protected] prime-time TV (a personal fave!)? understandable that you won’t want to win the Coldplay had to end their sold- rip up your treasured copy of The Edge, out show at the New York Irving Fill in the form below IMMEDIATELY, so photocopies are acceptable. coveted Plaza on February 16 early due and you could be in with a chance of silver brick THE EDGE TOP TEN Chris Martin’s voice. The singer, winning some rather nifty prizes, and This is YOUR chance to decide who the in the who was visibly unwell, had his some junk which has been lying around best and worst people of the last year voice gave out just three songs in to DARIUS the office for months. are, so make the choices good, won’t rhyming George W. Bush - their set. Details of whether or not Last year was a record-breaking year for you? I mean, you won’t be voting couplet Son of Bush, Son further dates on the tour were to the Bricks - voting reached double Westlife for ‘Best Band’. And please try go ahead or not are unknown. figures! So let’s see if you lazy good-for- your best to make sure Darius is ‘Tosser award, for of nothings can double the numbers this of the Year’. Thanks. ‘Little Internet MP3 file swapping sight, time, to take us to the big two-oh... James’? Star Wars! Napster, has had a court ruling 1. Atrocity Exhibition - Joy against it effectively terminating it NEWS Division as we know it. Napster is facing Edited by the 3am Girls No matter how hard he tries to closure since a judge in San defend it, Bush’s new missile defence Francisco found largely in favour of The Entry Form - all categories & special awards thing will not be getting any popular the American record labels that support. want the site closed. According to 2. Intergalactic - Beastie Boys BEST BAND GRANDADDY AWARD FOR Shawn Fanning, founder of Napster, MOST FULSOME BEARD Bush is aiming high. a new service will soon be available 3. Guns and Ammunition - The soon which is quite legal and will Clash have an MP3 protection lawyer to GODSPEED YOU BLACK Mere guns will be nothing in the face monitor files as they are swapped. BEST MALE of his latest venture. EMPEROR! AWARD FOR MOST CUMBERSOME ALBUM TITLE 4. Superscud - Raging Speedhorn Jennifer Lopez has reputedly Will Saddam be responding to Bush axed sometime partner Sean with a few of these? (Puff Daddy) Combs after The only news service dedicated BEST FEMALE TOSSER OF THE YEAR 5. Vaporizor - Lupine Howl mounting pressure due to gun Bush probably has a few of these up charges involving the pair and a his sleeves too! nightclub shooting. Excellent, she’s to Popstars’ lovable reject, Darius 6. Exterminator - Primal Scream back on the market. BEST ALBUM TEENY-POP DUO OF THE YEAR The Prez seems to be hell-bent on January 30th 2001 Popstars legend Darius is reputed to have been hunted down by major label Polydor. starting a war with the Russians, but MARTINE McCUTCHEON What news page would be Apparently, a producer was trying to track the young and impossibly for now, he’ll just have to settle for complete without Glastonbury AWARD FOR TERRIBLE killing more Iraqi civilians in the arrogant shit down, following his dramatic expulsion from TV’s Popstars. BEST SINGLE or Radiohead news? Neatly It is believed that the label are currently forming a new, all-Scottish RHYMING COUPLET OF THE name of peace combining them both, Radiohead 7. The Intense Humming of Evil boyband, in an attempt to follow the success of Irish groups like Boyzone YEAR have been hotly tipped by organiser, and Westlife. In particular, the label are looking for a talented frontman. Manic Street Preachers Michael Eavis, to headline the 2002 CRAIG DAVID AWARD FOR The noise coming from America So far, though, they have only succeeded in finding Darius. BEST DJ festival. However he did go on to Darius also said today that the Popstars band wasn’t really what he MOST SOULLESS ‘SOUL’ MUSIC right now. issue a stark warning to fence 8. The Black Angel’s Death Song - wanted, after all. “I feel almost a sense of relief and certainly a sense of jumpers “If we can’t stop the fence- gratitude,” he lied. The Velvet Underground jumping the festival will actually Your details: Name, email, telephone Also known as The Battle Hymn of BEST LIVE ACT finish. I have got one last chance January 31st 2001 Darius joined Ash on stage at a Virgin in-store signing in Leeds. The the American Republic next year to convince (the 9. Transmitting Live From Mars - Scottish wonder sang the chorus to ‘Girl From Mars’ with the band, to authorities) that I can control the hearty booing from the crowd. Afterwards, a spokesperson for Ash said De La Soul numbers.” TOP TV MOMENT Having annexed the rest of the it was good that the band don’t take things too seriously. Damn right it is! Have you heard their latest single? world, Bush’s next aim will be the The Boutique family rest of the galaxy. Expect some weekender has been cancelled ‘State of the Universe’ addresses January 31st 2001 Darius sang the national anthem at the opening of the NME Carling Cup. SUSU EVENT OF THE due to unforeseen circumstances. Teams playing in the five a side football tournament included various 10.Waitin’ For A Superman - The All ticket holders entitled to Flaming Lips bands and demi-celebs. Darius was also playing in goal for The Cooper YEAR refunds should go back to the point Temple Clause, who told The Edge that he was the “shittest goalkeeper Now we just need someone to finish of purchase. off the trigger-happy president. ever.” VOTE NOW • VOTE NOW • VOTE NOW • VOTE NOW • VOTE NOW • VOTE NOW • PAGE 2 PAGE 3 WESSEX PAPER FEBRUARY.1 19/2/01 5:17 pm Page 14

THE EDGE THE EDGE

VOTE NOW • VOTE NOW • VOTE NOW • VOTE NOW • VOTE NOW • VOTE NOW • WELCOME TO THE EDGE TEAM Editor - Andrew Snowball Dance - Charlotte Devalda Games - James Rumsey EDITORIAL Reviews - Paul Cornwell THE BRICKS - 2001 Film and Theatre - Jenny Szewiel I told you so, didn’t I? Anticipating a rash of complaints due to the With - Lewis Packwood, Darren Pickering, Chris The News with EDGE hound PAUL CORNWELL unhealthily meagre proportions of the Lees, Chris Thornton, Emmanuelle Smith,Tim As Brits and Brats fever sweeps the nation,The Edge indulges in its Houghton, Rachel Lee, Marin McGrath, Steve last issue,The Edge has returned to its TM Johnson, John McKenna,Alex Doak, Brian Clifford usual state of sublime magnificence! now legendary tradition of The Brick Awards . Voting is now open With all the right bits in the right Published by Southampton University places, such as the Top Ten ad Dance Student Union so fill in the form below and get it back to us as soon as possible! section, we also bring you a newly He Copyright 2001 revamped film and theatre section, in an Just tell us your favourites (and Remember you can e-mail your votes to attempt to make it slightly less, well, least favourites) of the last twelve [email protected]. Alternatively, loves his toys / THE EDGE shit. S.U.S.U. months. Is Badly Drawn Boy really bring your completed forms to the Even though they Highfield In what must be the finest turn of the best new artist in Britain? Did Wessex Scene office (above the SU Southampton events in music journalism all year (that Queens Of The Stone Age make bar) or leave them in the box make noise SO17 1BJ good!) we bring you a collection of Top the best album of the year? And provided at the SU reception, in the Drawer US music, from the cover stars TEL:- 02380 595230 was your top TV moment At The Union Concourse. Please don’t go FAX:- 02380 595252 Grandaddy, to Trail of Dead and At The Drive-In playing four different tearing out any pages until you’ve read Drive-In, both from Texas. You lucky songs at once on Jools Holland or the superb Grandaddy interview on the EMAIL buggers. Judy Finnigan’s sensible bra on live, Will Liam [email protected] other side, obviously. It’s perfectly [email protected] prime-time TV (a personal fave!)? understandable that you won’t want to win the Coldplay had to end their sold- rip up your treasured copy of The Edge, coveted out show at the New York Irving Fill in the form below IMMEDIATELY, so photocopies are acceptable. Plaza on February 16 early due and you could be in with a chance of silver brick THE EDGE TOP TEN Chris Martin’s voice. The singer, winning some rather nifty prizes, and This is YOUR chance to decide who the in the who was visibly unwell, had his some junk which has been lying around best and worst people of the last year voice gave out just three songs in to DARIUS the office for months. are, so make the choices good, won’t rhyming George W. Bush - their set. Details of whether or not Last year was a record-breaking year for you? I mean, you won’t be voting couplet Son of Bush, Son further dates on the tour were to the Bricks - voting reached double Westlife for ‘Best Band’. And please try award, for go ahead or not are unknown. figures! So let’s see if you lazy good-for- your best to make sure Darius is ‘Tosser of nothings can double the numbers this of the Year’. Thanks. ‘Little Internet MP3 file swapping sight, time, to take us to the big two-oh... James’? Star Wars! Napster, has had a court ruling 1. Atrocity Exhibition - Joy against it effectively terminating it NEWS Division as we know it. Napster is facing Edited by the 3am Girls No matter how hard he tries to closure since a judge in San defend it, Bush’s new missile defence Francisco found largely in favour of The Entry Form - all categories & special awards thing will not be getting any popular the American record labels that support. want the site closed. According to 2. Intergalactic - Beastie Boys BEST BAND GRANDADDY AWARD FOR Shawn Fanning, founder of Napster, MOST FULSOME BEARD Bush is aiming high. a new service will soon be available 3. Guns and Ammunition - The soon which is quite legal and will Clash have an MP3 protection lawyer to GODSPEED YOU BLACK Mere guns will be nothing in the face monitor files as they are swapped. BEST MALE of his latest venture. EMPEROR! AWARD FOR MOST CUMBERSOME ALBUM TITLE 4. Superscud - Raging Speedhorn Jennifer Lopez has reputedly Will Saddam be responding to Bush axed sometime partner Sean with a few of these? (Puff Daddy) Combs after The only news service dedicated BEST FEMALE TOSSER OF THE YEAR 5. Vaporizor - Lupine Howl mounting pressure due to gun Bush probably has a few of these up charges involving the pair and a his sleeves too! nightclub shooting. Excellent, she’s to Popstars’ lovable reject, Darius 6. Exterminator - Primal Scream back on the market. BEST ALBUM TEENY-POP DUO OF THE YEAR The Prez seems to be hell-bent on January 30th 2001 Popstars legend Darius is reputed to have been hunted down by major label Polydor. starting a war with the Russians, but MARTINE McCUTCHEON What news page would be Apparently, a producer was trying to track the young and impossibly for now, he’ll just have to settle for complete without Glastonbury AWARD FOR TERRIBLE killing more Iraqi civilians in the arrogant shit down, following his dramatic expulsion from TV’s Popstars. BEST SINGLE or Radiohead news? Neatly It is believed that the label are currently forming a new, all-Scottish RHYMING COUPLET OF THE name of peace combining them both, Radiohead 7. The Intense Humming of Evil boyband, in an attempt to follow the success of Irish groups like Boyzone YEAR have been hotly tipped by organiser, and Westlife. In particular, the label are looking for a talented frontman. Manic Street Preachers Michael Eavis, to headline the 2002 CRAIG DAVID AWARD FOR The noise coming from America So far, though, they have only succeeded in finding Darius. BEST DJ festival. However he did go on to Darius also said today that the Popstars band wasn’t really what he MOST SOULLESS ‘SOUL’ MUSIC right now. issue a stark warning to fence 8. The Black Angel’s Death Song - wanted, after all. “I feel almost a sense of relief and certainly a sense of jumpers “If we can’t stop the fence- gratitude,” he lied. The Velvet Underground jumping the festival will actually Your details: Name, email, telephone Also known as The Battle Hymn of BEST LIVE ACT finish. I have got one last chance January 31st 2001 Darius joined Ash on stage at a Virgin in-store signing in Leeds. The the American Republic next year to convince (the 9. Transmitting Live From Mars - Scottish wonder sang the chorus to ‘Girl From Mars’ with the band, to authorities) that I can control the hearty booing from the crowd. Afterwards, a spokesperson for Ash said De La Soul numbers.” TOP TV MOMENT Having annexed the rest of the it was good that the band don’t take things too seriously. Damn right it is! Have you heard their latest single? world, Bush’s next aim will be the The Boutique family rest of the galaxy. Expect some weekender has been cancelled ‘State of the Universe’ addresses January 31st 2001 Darius sang the national anthem at the opening of the NME Carling Cup. SUSU EVENT OF THE due to unforeseen circumstances. Teams playing in the five a side football tournament included various 10.Waitin’ For A Superman - The All ticket holders entitled to Flaming Lips bands and demi-celebs. Darius was also playing in goal for The Cooper YEAR refunds should go back to the point Temple Clause, who told The Edge that he was the “shittest goalkeeper Now we just need someone to finish of purchase. off the trigger-happy president. ever.” VOTE NOW • VOTE NOW • VOTE NOW • VOTE NOW • VOTE NOW • VOTE NOW • PAGE 2 PAGE 3 WESSEX PAPER FEBRUARY.1 19/2/01 5:17 pm Page 16

THE EDGE THE EDGE

FUN LOVIN’ CRIMINALS Loco SINGLES (Chrysalis) My first reaction towards this album was negative. Before I’d even heard it I was ALBUMS U2 dreading what it may hold and whether or not it would indicate a further slide Stuck In A Moment You Can’t Get away from the style that they had around the ‘Come Find Yourself’ era. KINGS OF CONVENIENCE Out Of I was worried that they’d expose themselves further as the lounge pastiches Quiet is the new loud. (Island) that it appears that they were turning in to. I was worried that they were now in (Source) Or else... to the phase of parodying themselves, which is just embarrassing.When I heard Buy this record! Aside from the spectacularly uncatchy the album, I feared that my thoughts were all founded as it was spectacularly Hot on the heels of their excellent ‘Playing Live in a Room’ EP comes this TURIN BRAKES name this single testament to U2’s unlike FLC material circa ‘Come Find Yourself’. Scandinavian duo’s debut album. One of the frontrunners in the much lauded NAM The Optimist LP return to fine fettle in the song writing After several listens however, I found that I was enjoying the melodies, the more (New Acoustic Movement, keep up their at the back) along with Badly Drawn Boy (Source) stakes. Following the criminally under serious approach to songwriting and the more chilled out melancholia. However, and new comers Starsailor, although they do wish that they and their brethren acclaimed ‘Beautiful Day’, this song is don’t despair, this is melancholy with a quart of Tequila and an ounce of skunk weren’t packaged with this tag. This is it, year zero. Bulldoze the charts and appoint Turin Brakes numbers one quite stunning in its power and faultless though, not your average Radiohead/Verve sort. Quite interesting, I’m sure you’ll To say that the Kings of Convenience’s style is understated is well, understating through to forty.This is what needs to be in the charts, pure thrilling, foot tapping ability to have you singing it all day. agree. things.A pair of acoustic guitars and two voices, hence Kings of Convenience. Nowt music, you just can’t stop yourself from singing along to.The melodies are beautiful U2 have returned to their song writing So I decided; it’s time to drop the double standards. If Radiohead produce a half- much else either. the tunes are sublime, from the first to the last song.A journey you’ll want to travel glory with such a meaningful, beautiful baked album of weird electronica, they are rightly praised for following their Very similar to their debut release, but something appears to have been lost. again and again. and pleasing song it is untrue. desire to make interesting and challenging music. If FLC make a change in their Whether it’s the fact that all of the songs are sung in English on this album as Ollie Knights’ voice is one of the most endearing and moving since Thom Yorke’s CD1 also has a version of ‘Beautiful style as they did with ‘100% Colombian’ and now again with ‘Loco’ that is their opposed to the mix of French and English or whether it’s just the sort of music but with as much fun in it as he wants to dole out.Which he does choose to quite Day’ live, in case you don’t already have prerogative. that’s best in small doses. frequently. Ollie and his partner in crime, Gale Paridjanian, (who incidentally pulls out it to blare out on those sunny mornings As for the album, you can tell it’s FLC with a touch of the blues, funk, punk and a Still, the Kings’ one of the more interesting and strangely different acts to have some delightful harmonies) practice a pretty stripped down operation.There’s isn’t that are shortly on their way. heavy portion of latino groove. It’s interesting, fun, clever and (gulp) more mature, emerged over the past year and definitely worth hearing. Quiet is to be proud. too much other than guitar, bass, some nice little effects and a bit of harmonica but 8/10 but this again isn’t necessarily a bad thing. 7/10 they don’t need much of anything else. PC This isn’t ‘Come Find Yourself’ so don’t buy this expecting another helping of PC Ollie and Gale have known each other for ever but they first got together musically some of 1996 finest. However this album does stand up for itself, up on it’s own aged ten. For Cathedral choir.They’ve been jamming, improvising, singing and playing two feet and is most buy-able if you want to hear some good songs from a band PIXIES sporadically ever since.And another thing, on how they got their name;“Gale’s THIRTEEN:13 that has found a sound that they are comfortable with. Complete B-sides. nature of the record cover. The always been obsessed with Turin, the Italian city, and I’ve always had a strange kind of 50 Stories 6/10 (4AD) handsome black clad young geezer on love affair with brakes,” deadpans Ollie.“I’ve got lots of brakes in my room, really oily (Polydor) the step. Excitement reaching Steven brakes on newspapers round the house.” Fair enough. The Pixies formed in Boston in the mid-eighties and set about releasing 5 albums in Duffy ala ‘’ Love All My Friends ‘, LABRADFORD They always said that madness was a sign of genius. Now they’ve been proved right. Nice enough tune, meaningful lyrics and 5 years that are widely recognised to have revolutionized the face of rock music. proportions. Boon be the bearer of Fixed::context 10/10 just a little something else to separate This album contains a wide selection of re-recordings, live stuff, videos and a couple bad news. Track one,‘ The Last Thing I (Blast First) PC them from the masses. Not by much Broke ‘, sounds like a bunch of of very good Neil Young covers thrown in for good measure.The impressive thing though. Don’t get me wrong, chemistry students falling down two The word ‘ambient’ is one that inevitably strikes fear into many a music lover’s about this album is the consistently high quality which most bands would kill for in a Thirteen:13 seem very nice but they flights of stairs ( that exciting ), but heart. Understandable, seeing as that since the pioneering work of Brian Eno, all genuine studio album, let alone a compilation.This means a set of songs a decade old don’t appear to be helping the state of overall your taste sensation is the but a few would-be jumpers on the bandwagon have failed due to pale imitation still sound fresh. the music scene at the moment. empty gut crawl of an anorexic within a constraining genre. My only word of caution is perhaps this album is for die hard Pixies fans only and This just isn’t incendiary enough, it washed out 80’s band. Yum. Labradford obviously aren’t afraid of such pre-conceptions, having recently newcomers would be better of with a studio album such as “Doolittle”. However doesn’t make you want to head butt the 1/10 toured their self-organised ‘Festival of Drifting’, and leaving a string of long-players this is an excellent album in it’s own right and certainly worth a look. wall, drink twelve pints and lose your DP devoid of beats save for a glitchy crackle or a sampled snippet of found-sound BC mind. Sorry. here and there.‘Fixed::context’ is no exception and the pieces here are extremely 8/10 6/10 AEROSMITH similar in sound to its predecessor, 1999’s ‘E luxo so’. However, the reason why PC Jaded Labradford succeed where so many have failed is perhaps due to an approach AIR TRAFFIC CONTROLLERS (Columbia Records) from a rock perspective, much like Eno himself, rather than from an inability to do Whisper Number SOULWAX anything else except play the same few notes ad infinitum. (Parallelism) Conversation Intercom Since ‘Don’t Wanna Miss a Thing’, it The trio use a guitar/guitar/synth line-up along with an array of FX pedals to (Pias) seems that Tyler and co. have decided create some brilliantly crafted arrangements based on the simplest of phrases, and While new recruit Jon Steele has achieved a minor success drumming for to take it easy.This one doesn’t drip while ‘original’ might not be the most accurate word used in the press release instrumental rockers State River Widening, guitarist Gerard Cosloy has been Never heard more than snippets of with the same sentimental, emotional accompanying this CD, the description ‘beautiful’ could certainly be applied. languishing in the backwaters as far as recognition goes.Which is unfair, because Soulwax before, and have been relatively wish-wash (and hey I liked it!) and 8/10 on Whisper Number, the Controllers prove themselves as a truly inventive outfit, impressed. ‘ Conversation Intercom ‘, is doesn’t have the BIG feel that song TH improvising all four lengthy tracks live in the studio and still managing to come up likely to achieve radio friendly indie had. It’s a nice little ballad but with a with a cohesive sound.This is largely due to Cosloy’s versatile playing which crossover success. However if Soulwax bit of a repetitious riff which strikes of covers many reference points with flair, recalling at times Mogwai’s understated b- sides are a relection of their wider the bad brit-pop era (i.e Manics).The melodicism and Gary Smith’s stereo-guitar trickery, to name a couple. Steele more work ( iffy Pearl Jammy lite strums ), changes are nice and Tyler’s voice still JOHN WAYNE ARMY than plays his part, though, and helps to keep Cosloy on his toes for the first three then make your wallet run for cover. sounds like no other, but I think from Night Without End tracks, avoiding the meanderings that often bog down experimental rock. 6/10 now on the days of songs like Dude (Cavalera) Finally, Cosloy can’t resist throwing down the gauntlet - it’s either insane skill or DP Looks Like a Lady are long gone. some sneaky live sampling which creates the illusion of more than one guitarist - 3/5 Based around London and formed back in 1991, John Wayne Army is certainly a and the two battle it out Sister Ray style in the blazing highlight of this fine MO*HO*BISH*O*PI CL peculiar beast. Described as “Tom Waits and Nancy Sinatra dueting in a David offering.Any improv-sceptics out there should be converted with just one listen. Snow Patrol Playboy Lynch film after a gin drenched coupling”! It’s lo-fi country with a bit of Suede, 9/10 When it’s all over we still have to clear up (V2) GOLDFRAPP Nick Cave, Bowie and a touch of Joni Mitchell on speed. TH ( Jeepster ) Human When I say lo-fi, I do mean lo-fi, as in it has a beautiful made in a garage sound Question:What do you get if you cross (Mute) which just adds emphasis to the raw vocals and heart felt emotions.You can almost TERRORVISION If you were going to create a plot of land for indie/pop rock alternative types, Welsh punks with legendary Dinosaur Jr see Al Newton’s face with a big frown looking as if he’s about to burst in to tears Good To Go you’d have to advertise for confident cliff top inhabitants. Rather than being able producer and noise-smith Don Fleming? Alison Goldfrapp returns here with a at any moment on songs such as ‘House Without Love’.There are tales of every (Papillon) to set up camp with the confident tent pegs of a SFA or a JJ72, Snow Patrol are Answer: Just over 3 minutes of fuzzy moody, jazzy big band-style piece of kind of love (most unrequited or sour) but some turn out for the best. most definitely part of the limestone foot brigade ala Gorky’s backs to the wall vocals, Californian melodies, cheeky riffs I would have thought that in their somewhat dubiously illustrious 8-year tenure at the debonaire class. With stabs of brass, In the greatest tradition of rock and roll heart break, tales abound of fucked up scenario. and lyrics like ‘I’m in love with your forefront of straight-ahead, fun-loving British rock,Terrorvision would have matured at John Barry strings and sultry vocals. relationships, getting slaughtered, stoned and questioning why it just won’t work Being Jeepster stablemates of the cherishable undercurrents known as Salako daughter, you’d better call the police’. least to the point of playing something that sounds a bit different from their tried-and- It is only the mere addition of out. Sam Ireland has a tortuous voice that can send shivers down a mans spine and Looper, are Snow Patrol some kind of missing golden Shergar, or the rear And, another 1 and a half minutes of tested loud guitar noise.Although they came dangerously close to perfect squelchy noises and various other from twenty paces. She adds such a beautiful twist when dueting with Al to make a end of a Lord Lucan inhabited pantomine horse ? ‘ When it’s all...’ begins fuzzed-up, speeded-up, glam-punk, songsmithery with ‘Regular Urban Survivors’, nothing has progressed beyond this at assorted noises that makes this change from the usual one man moaning, it’s kind of twisted. swimmingly well with the gorgeous ‘ Never gonna fall in love again ‘ and continues Chinese-proverb-plagiarising romping. all.‘Shaving Peaches’ might not (perhaps should not) have happened at all. distinguishable from any one of a Above all, there’s great melodies, tunes and harmonies.That with top song writing in much the same vein until mid - ground slowdown where contemplation breaks 7/10 I’m afraid that slapping an excuse for a drumloop at the start of the odd song, as number of Shirley Bassey anthems. is all you need, that and a push in to the mainstream so that you can highlight concentration. Echoes of the poor bits of the Llama Farmers latest album are AS they have done here, with ‘Good To Go’, is not going to convince even their die-hard But no matter how many noises are exactly how wrong most record exec’s are in their thinking of what the general too obvious to miss. Lacking the nutty narrative of Looper or the bonkers calling fans that this album belongs in 2001.‘Fists of Fury’ is a ray of hope halfway through thrown on top, theydon’t do much to record buying public wants. card of Salako, Snow Patrol with their skin deep tendency to often sound like old FATHER OF BOON the record, with a pissed-up, moshpit-happy chorus far more worthy of a beating-by- disguise a rather tired sounding song. 8/10 rock donkeys, are risking a fan - ish revolt worthy of a cliff top descent. A Case of Not Knowing Before crowdsurfing-Doc Marten wearers than the frankly lame single,‘D’Ya Wanna Go 5/10 PC 5/10 ( Growl - wow ) Faster’ A safe purchase if you’re a fan. Otherwise, steer clear... AS DP 3/10 The black and white contemplative AD

PAGE 4 PAGE 5 WESSEX PAPER FEBRUARY.1 19/2/01 5:17 pm Page 16

THE EDGE THE EDGE

PAGE 4 PAGE 5 WESSEX PAPER FEBRUARY.1 19/2/01 5:17 pm Page 18

THE EDGE THE EDGE

from Giant Sand, supporting PJ Harvey in how sad it is what can actually get lost in when I speak to Jim and hear Europe. This is something that Jim is the process of that, like people’s ideas. his soft spoken and obviously very excited about, because Sometimes people don’t need to have perfectly articulated Giant Sand are Grandaddy’s favourite original ideas when everything’s being views, that the band ever and possibly their greatest done for them. And also, the melancholy and sadness influence: “Its kind of like this big circle encroachment on nature and that’s that can be found in being completed. It’s like watching your something we can see totally first hand their music emanates dad work for ever or something, like he cos’ where we live, there used to be a lot from a profound owns a landscaping business and has of wide open space and now that’s less dissatisfaction with what they been working for ever and then suddenly and less and less prevalent” view as a sad state of affairs. you get the opportunity to design your Grandaddy’s musical offerings have And frankly, their message speaks own little yard or something, and that’s a sometimes been described as a louder and clearer than pretty big deal” soundtrack to the anti-globalisation any angry rant. As well as being in Grandaddy, Jim movement. Where does Jim Fairchild Emmanuelle Smith “we were flying into Cologne, Germany, and I looked out of the plane window and I saw a Wal- Mart. And I was seriously damn near in tears because that’s a pretty decent standard bearer for some of the worst elements of America” - Jim Fairchild

writes his own songs.“I have a couple of stand on that? “Well I wouldn’t think that four-tracks and odds and ends at home. would be the worst thing in the world. That’s actually what I was going to do We’re not a blatantly political band by with the bulk of that time off, I was gonna any stretch of the imagination but the finally finish some of that stuff. But then whole economic unification thing kind Howe offered for Aaron and I to go off of frightens me, simply because I think with him, so that reconfigured it a little in there’s value in individuals and in my head”. Could any of Jim’s songs end personality.And that comes down to up being Grandaddy songs? “Well, I the products that you buy, and the guess we can’t rule anything out way you buy them and stuff, and the fact completely but I don’t have any particular that that’s another element of loss of ambition to get my name in the song identity. One of the saddest things that writing credits or anything like that in happened to me last terms of Grandaddy. That’s simply year was that Jason and because I think that Jason is one of the I were doing a promo best out there right now. It helps that tour before the record A salacious (and almost entirely we’ve known each other for as long as came out and we were we have, cos’ nobody is doing anything flying into Cologne, for the sake of the ego or the ‘check me Germany, and I looked fictional) Jim-related story out’ factor.” out of the plane Is there any new Grandaddy material window and I saw a out on the horizon? “We haven’t Wal-Mart. And I was To demonstrate just how popular Jim is with the ladies,The Edge was treated deliberately sat down and worked on seriously damn near in to a story about him by Grandaddy’s support band, Lowgold. It will be worth much stuff recently.That could happen in tears because that’s a remembering when reading this that, at the most, only the first sentence or that next break. I would like to think it pretty decent standard would be less absolutely structured than bearer for some of the two is true. it has been in the past, but that’s gonna worst elements of Now, we’ll leave you to Darren and Miles of Lowgold to tell you the story. require us to get a new headquarters, a America, and there it new home base. I mean, it is kind of neat was, sitting in a that this record that people wound up different country, liking (Sophtware Slump) was recorded getting ready to in an incredibly fucking small 2-bedroom destroy their culture.” house, so that the studio was a bench Economic stashed in the corner. But there needs to globalisation is an issue be a bigger place, a more efficient central that Jim and probably Prior to their recent visit to the Students’ Union, The Edge had the ground for ideas, I think. So, yeah, maybe all of the band have Come to Grandaddy once that happens.” witnessed personally. honour of speaking to Grandaddy’s sexpot guitarist Jim Fairchild The Sophtware Slump is a concept Jim loathes the big album if there ever was one. A running chains not only out of The world of Grandaddy is strange reputation that the band seems to have bar drinking and I think I started to get Home, who are great, and hang around theme throughout the record is that of principle, but also Lowgold:‘And it was this big!’ and beautiful, but, unfortunately, acquired for being totally wasted 100% of up at 2am to go to bed and they were with them”. Surely they didn’t miss abandoned electrical goods and because they have entrance is limited to members the time whilst on tour. How much of like ‘hey we were just about to buy Slipknot? “I actually saw Slipknot earlier machinery. Were Grandaddy trying to robbed some of his Miles: Front row, at the Grandaddy show in Newcastle, a girl gets her top off, for Jim. The band only. However, we can all catch a that is true, I wonder? “It’s gotten a little another round’ and I was like fuck, okay, on in the year, in Germany. They were express a fear of peoples dependences closest friends and are wondering what’s going on, and all the crew pop up from nowhere. Then it’s like, clothes glimpse of what it’s like by taking a bit easier cos’ it had to”, he admits. “I but that turned into another 5 rounds loud and really not too much to my on technology? relatives of a livelihood. off! Knickers off! And there’s another girl, and they start kissing. Then this guy comes along listen to their music, which don’t want to get too dramatic or and then it got to about 6am and we liking. I’m actually a big fan of certain “I don’t know if it’s necessarily a fear. It’s “Yeah,whenever I can, I and she fellates him, in the front row, at a Grandaddy show! epitomises lo-fi excellency, or, even anything but the way we used to do it were like, okay, you guys have gotta get Slayer albums and some really aggressive just the seeming blind casting of people’s will certainly try to buy This is true, absolutely true. better,by seeing them live (as many was really really far from being healthy. It the fuck out of here, alright.” Sounds like music like that, but Slipknot was a little reliances and affections towards that whatever I buy, or Darren: But it gets worse...Another girl comes up and these two girls start getting off with of us did when they played our came to the point where people were a tough life to me. bit derivative, conceptually and musically. stuff. Sure, they absolutely can be a patronize small, each other, and she gets her chest out as well and they’re licking each other’s tits. Then the union). The Edge were lucky pretty familiar with the band, and I’m not Last year was a very exciting one for I feel like they should be giving a couple monumental addition to your life, and a independentlyother one that hasn’t already had a go gets down on her knees and sucks this bloke off again. enough to go one step further and trying to brag cos’ its nothing to brag Grandaddy. The Sophtware Slump, their of dollars to some of the bands that great tool, but eventually, people can get operated stores. And Miles: then they indulge in this three-way tongue-fest... have a chat with Jim Fairchild, about, but they were like ‘the amount of second full-length album was released in preceded them.” too attached to them. But then again, avoid the Starbucks at Darren:A sex session, right at the front, right in front of Jim the guitarist, and it goes on and on guitarist with the band, before they fucking alcohol that you guys put away, I May to great critical acclaim, and they’ve After the UK tour they’re on right now, who the hell am I to say that? It’s just my all costs! The and on and on, all the way through the show! did the Southampton show. don’t know how you can do it’ and we been touring pretty much non-stop the band are finally going to have a well- personal feeling, and it kind of creeps me depressing thing in Miles: Then at the end of the show they were trying to get back stage, and no-one was having The interview was to be conducted by would just drink for months on end, and since. The Reading/Leeds festival earned break from touring. Jason Lytle, out. People get so caught up in that America is sometimes any of it, and she said “I’ll do anything to get backstage, anything you like. I’ll put on a show. phone, and was scheduled for 3.15pm. I don’t know how we did it either. It still weekend was a highlight for them in the Grandaddy front man, has to go into whole idea of ‘I’ve got to have the newest you almost can’t do What I’ll do, I’ll get a cucumber and fuck my sister up the arse with it... However, when I called, their tour happens, but I’ve been trying to cool sense that they got to see some of their hospital for knee surgery due to a pre- thing right now, right now, right now’ that anymore.” Darren:You don’t beleive us, do you? manager informed me that they were all down on that in the name of self- favourite bands as well as perform existing skate injury (he used to be a when you actually don’t sometimes have Grandaddy do not go The Edge: No. still in bed with a hangover,and asked me preservation.” Apparently, his getting themselves: “We got to see Ween every professional skateboarder) and so to have the newest thing.” One of their on and on about their Darren: He shoves babies up his arse! to call back. I did, an hour later, and Jim pissed last night was nothing to do with day for four days which was amazing, and everyone is getting a couple of months main concerns is what impact this political beliefs in the Miles: Dead babies. was very polite and becoming him, but all down to two girls we got to see Calexico, who are also off. No rest for the wicked though, “progress” in terms of technology is way that, say, the Darren: Up a dead arse... considering the lack of sleep he’d had the (obviously!) from their record label, who good friends of ours, and it’s always nice because Jim and Aaron (drummer) have having on us and our environment: “I Manics do. However, it Andrew Snowball night before. I ask him about the coaxed him into it: “We were sat in the to see them live. And we got to see been invited to tour with Howe Gelb think it has a lot to do with the idea of becomes clear to me PAGE 6 PAGE 7 WESSEX PAPER FEBRUARY.1 19/2/01 5:17 pm Page 18

THE EDGE THE EDGE

“We’re from Austin, motherf***in’ Texas!” The Edge e-mailed some questions ...And You Will Know Us By The Trail Of Dead cries Neil Busch, Trail Of Dead bassist, to Trail Of Dead’s primary I’ve never gotten sick of doing wreak havoc at the ULU, London and sometime guitarist and vocalist, mouthpiece Conrad Keely in the interviews, otherwise I raising his middle finger to the back of hope of clearing up some myths. wouldn’t’ be doing this one the auditorium. Here’s what we got instead: now. One of the most vocal and I was one of those discipline uncompromising bands around, Trail Of The Edge: According to your cases as a child who craved Dead take no prisoners throughout their website, you guys met in church, attention - not just my parents’ set. At the end, and ‘Richter Scale Madness’ was attention, because I had that, but

All pictures:Andrew Snowball guitarist/vocalist/drummer, Conrad Keely based on a hymn (‘Lord of All EVERYONE’s attention. It even will climb up onto the stack of speakers Hopefulness’), do you think God is got me kicked out of a private at one side of the stage, and threaten to pleased with what He created school in Hawai’i (I believe that jump the 30-odd feet into the crowd. As there, or are you destined for an in England they call them he does this, white noise will pour from eternity in Hell? “public” schools). I am not every amp and every speaker as the ashamed to admit that I simply three remaining members of the most Conrad Keely: Well firstly, one should love attention. And why vital band in America today systematically never believe everything one reads. shouldn’t you; if being an artist is destroy their guitars and drums. Secondly,God isn’t a He, he’s a She. And what you want? Certainly no As the noise of ‘A Perfect Teenhood’, a She’s black. artist dreams of dying obscure breathless anthem of destructive, And finally, I think She loves all her and undiscovered, unless they’re adolescent angst dies away, a period of a creations. Certainly ‘Richter Scale pathetic and disillusioned into mere half a second will see the drum kit Madness’ is a song about killing thinking that Van Gogh is some disappear, spread across the stage, and a everyone, but there are plenty of sort of role model - guitar broken in two as Keely finds passages out of the Bible about killing God knows there are some himself in the crowd for the millionth everyone as well. Killing is something people who do think of him as a time tonight. that I’m sure God enjoys just as much as role model, which is why I This is what Trail Of Dead do every time she enjoys bringing them to life. It’s all decided to stop painting and they play: They’ll thrill the audience with part of the karmic cycle, n’est pas? disassociate myself from the a set of blistering feedback and visual arts community when I immensely tuneful psychedelic punk, A recent interview said that your was eighteen. before leaving them, gutted and conversation makes “the likes of I don’t think that it’s possible awestruck. The performance (for that is the Bloodhound Gang sound like to be as big as I could dream of what it is) is interspesed with star jumps, politically aware intellectual being, and that’s due to the fact stage dives and windmills. Every trick in heavyweights”, so what do you like that we’re not capable of space the rock ‘n’ roll book is used to to talk about? travel right now. But I wish I staggereing effect. could get alien civilizations into They’ve taken all the best bits of Sonic We like to ruminate upon topics such as our band as well. I mean, why Youth’s ‘Daydream Nation’ and English etymology, Easter mysticism, the fuck not, right? Isn’t music perverted it, twisting the art rock classic excursions from the mundane via universal (I imagine that when to their own demented wants, adding meditation, the folly of the entertainment we do perfect space travel one militancy and a spellbinding self-belief. industry, eating pussy - you know, the of the great disappointments But there is no way this band could be usual lowbrow topics. I don’t know we’ll encounter is that music is called predictable - no-one ever knows exactly who wrote that about us, but we what they will be doing next. It is a had the pleasure of meeting and speaking “Dude. Come on. You have the rest of your life to be a recipe which has left them with many with the Bloodhound Gang recently at an serious artist - assuming you don’t choke on your vomit. die-hard fans and probably equally as anthropology seminar in Chicago, and many enemies. Tonight,the promoters at although quite intellectual, they didn’t Just loosen up and get into it.” - Conrad KEELY ON WHAT HE’D ULU are lucky - recently they’ve been strike me as particularly politically SAY TO JIMI HENDRIX chased out of venues by crazed mobs, motivated. Perhaps they meant At The forcing the band to defend themselves Drive-In. certainly NOT universal)? you like. Going to the fucking grocery when the blood rushes to your finger with their own guitars. Promoters have At the ULU gig Jason (Reece, store and checking out at the counter tips. attacked the band, and the band have Another review quoted a promoter guitar, drums, vocals) referred on involves a certain amount of theatre. retaliated in kind. referring to you all as “rich, spoiled stage to the people who come to Admittedly being on stage involves quite On that Stooges album ‘Metallic The combination of a volatile passion mama’s boys”.Are you? the gig just to witness the gear- a bit more, but you learn in college K.O’ (a legendary bootleg of the for the music they create and a desire for trashing and stuff - is that aspect of sociology that acting is part of last ever stooges show. Features everyone in the world to hear it, coupled I love my mother, and she certainly what you do beginning to get you communication. such sounds as bottles and insults with a morbid and dangerous sense of spoiled me as best she could. down now - as if it’s just a gimmick? But no, I don’t usually get myself into alike being hurled at Iggy Pop as he humour makes for a beautiful and Unfortunately we’ve never been Jimi Hendrix hated that he had a “character”, or do facial exercises in the baits the biker audience, present compelling mixture, without ever anywhere close to rich. In fact, at one reputation for smashing stuff up, he dressing room mirrors before coming on only for the chance to kick Iggy’s descending into a cringe-making mass of point in my life we lived on a gypsy thought it held him back. Do you stage. And when I see someone in the head in!), it sounds genuinely pretentiousness. They are both caravan site outside of Nuneaton (in feel the same? crowd I recognize, I’m going to shout out dangerous up on stage, have you hilariously funny and deadly serious - as Griff), and we picked coal off the train to them just like I saw them walking on ever actually feared for your life on they enter the stage Keely will indulge tracks nearby for heat. I’m sure you We’re starting to feel that way. We never the opposite side of the street, and say hi. stage because of a psycho crowd? members of the audience with an think I’m making that up. I’m not. In fact, used to, simply because that was just Hell, I’ve had conversations with friends I just sent her two hundred dollars this always how we played, there was nothing from the stage on some nights. The Oh yeah. It’s a great feeling. I mean, what Christmas so she could pay her rent, so particularly gimmicky about it. But I thought of not being myself - like being a is your life worth? Next to nothing - you if I ever meet people who think that mean, what would happen if we did try to Marilyn Manson, or a Slipknot might lose it tomorrow. What’s being in about us, I would love to ram a fucking play a show that we just wanted people clown/demon - I find kind of disturbing. I front of a huge crowd worth? fist down their throat and yank their guts to listen to? The people up front would mean, granted, that’s their own type of Everything. You might never see that up. How’s that for fucking intellectual? throw a fucking fit, right? theatre, so whatever turns their crank. again. I guess if Hendrix were whining to me But it tends to make me think that the impromptu question-and-answer Something on your website said about that back stage right now, I’d be real person behind the mask must not be When Jason did his hand when you session, then they will invite the audience that you didn’t remember giving a like,“Jimi - dude. Come on. You have the as interesting, which is why they resort were last in London (his hand was to throw bottles at them. And during particular interview, but it’s rest of your life to be a serious artist - to such extremes. And I like to think of impaled by a drum stand following ‘Mark David Chapman’, any chance of the “beginning to get like that”. Are assuming you don’t choke on your vomit. myself as a pretty fucking interesting a stage invasion), you still didn’t TEXASTEXAS GUITAR GUITARsong carrying any added significance on you enjoying the attention that Just loosen up and get into it.” person - humor me. cancel any gigs...for what reason the twentieth anniversary of John you’re getting, or do you hate The only truly theatrical thing I will would you cancel, if any? Lennon’s death is discarded, heroically, as having to do so many interviews How much of what you do is admit to doing is a windmill on the guitar, Neil Busch concentrates on throwing the now? Would rather you became theatre? Is it really you guys being and that is because when I spin my arm Well certainly not for a few stupid right shapes rather than playing the right known in a word-of-mouth way, but yourselves up on stage every night? around like that, I’m not even hitting the stitches! I think I would cancel a gig if I notes while he sings. not being that successful, or is guitar strings - I’m just spinning my arm found out the club owner was a Nazi, or It goes without saying, then, that they selling tons of records and being the Well, it is certainly us being ourselves, around, and strumming the strings with the promoter was an asshole to the kids. are a band to believe in. biggest thing ever what you really but that doesn’t discredit the whole thing my left hand. I don’t know why I do that, I fucking hate that. crave? from being theatre. It’s ALL theatre, if but it kind of feels good in the right hand Andrew Snowball PAGEMASSACREMASSACRE 8 PAGE 9 WESSEX PAPER FEBRUARY.1 19/2/01 5:17 pm Page 20

THE EDGE THE EDGE

voice” as Stuart describes him) has sheathed his witticism rapier for the new songs, reverting instead to a much more The Divine intervened heartfelt style of songwriting. I had a listen to some of the new songs on the The Divine Comedy engage The Edge in a little light banter, what ho! band’s website (www.thedivinecomedy.com) and I can Express” and “The confirm that this is indeed true, with All pictures: Paul Cornwell Pop Singer’s Fear of some of the tracks being positively tear- the Pollen Count”), jerking.The suits have gone too, although but fear not, there Stuart was very cagey about what they’d are exciting things in wear instead. He did balk at my store... suggestion of Sgt. Pepper outfits though. A new album is just The band have evolved considerably around the corner, over the years: from Neil working alone it’s called in his bedroom, they have reached their “Regeneration”, and current status as a seven piece, a it does exactly what transition clearly audible in their new it says on the tin, work. Neil still writes the songs but the although obviously band now have more input, a change it comes in a box reflected in the album cover: for the first like normal CD’s. time Neil does not appear, and instead it Not a tin. Although features several statues made by Joby that would be cool. Talbot’s wife, which were present in the Anyway, The Edge studio during recording. Excited by the spoke to Stuart symbolism of these pieces of art I asked “Pinkie” Bates, Stuart what the underlying reasons were keyboardist in The for using them on the cover, but Divine Comedy apparently they just look nice.‘Nuff said. (although he has been known to The band are only playing “intimate dabble in the venues” on their new tour (“for the fans” accordion), and he you see), so we will be graced with their was very positive THE DIVINE COMEDY:This editor hates them! presence at Southampton Uni on 14th about the new stuff, March, where they have promised to play as you’d guess he the new album in its entirety, plus a few The Divine Comedy. You either love Hannon as “sir”. As for everyone else, would be. Still, the thoroughly nice chap “surprises”... Personally I can’t wait - see them or hate them, but the people who they tend to be a mixed camp, being told me that the album sounds a lot you there! love them, well, they REALLY love them. divided as to whether they think the more like “Liberation” (D.C.’s first You should be able to spot them - they’re band are just “annoying” or “very “proper” album) than the recent “Fin de Lewis Packwood the ones wandering around in velvet annoying”. If this is you, then I’m guessing Siecle”, and that the songs were much jackets who have a tendency to over-use you’ve only heard the band’s recent, dare less “tongue in cheek” and “raised “Love What You Do” (the new single) is the word “extraordinary” in everyday I say it, “novelty” songs (ie. “National eyebrow” than before. It seems that Neil out on 26th February. conversation, whilst referring to Neil Hannon (remember him? “little guy, big

Experience what it’s like to be part of one of When Placements run from Monday 2nd July to Friday the most successful businesses in the 24th August, with the skills training event on the world...and get ahead of the competition! 29th and 30th June 2001. Eligibility TERRIS To apply you need to be in your penultimate year of An unexpected offering from a The set comprised almost entirely of an honours degree and have the permanent right to band that have chosen to go the new songs, just ‘Lost October’ and work in the UK. hard way.Terris started last year ‘Searching for the Switches’ were played with an explosion, instigated by from their older material and ‘Lost To Apply their name being plastered across October’ is the only old song to make it Get hold of the Unilever Application Form by calling the first issue of the NME to hit on to their debut album.The delay on our hotline 0870 154 3550, or apply online at the news stands in the new the album was explained by Gavin www.ucmds.com. Closing date for applications millennium.They were hailed as Goodwin, the enigmatic lead singer “Gil is 16th March 2001. our saviours but with no recorded [Norton] wasn’t available for a couple material and very little live of months, so it was either go with Unilever experience this seemed to be quite someone else or wait for him, and we a leap of faith from the NME. wanted to wait.The wait was worth it, www.ucmds.com Their debut EP and first national tour we wanted everything to be exactly rolled around quickly though and it was right.” clear that this hype was worth it and Terris’ set was most short and sweet, then some.Terris called in at the Joiners only nine songs long and these just on that tour, with Coldplay, and put on a Summer seemed to slip through my fingers. But the normally sweat soaked Gavin to the Terris’ set closed with the mind sweat soaked show of supremacy that what energy, what tunes,Terris are going dampness level on his shirt at the end blowing crescendo that is ‘Deliverance’ has gone down in the annals of to be the most vital band of this year, to of that set. I discovered that this was that saw jumping and thumping and was Southampton rock history. But with the miss them is a crime. due to the new air conditioning in the a perfect closer to a incendiary set that album a long way off Terris faded from It has to be slightly disheartening to Joiners and admitted my disappointment literally rocked the Joiners and the publics memory. them however, that Coldplay, with at the lack of sweat, that’s how I got everybody within it’s hallowed walls. And so to December 2000.A gig that whom they were on tour with in April used to gauging a band’s performance Terris, the anti-Coldplay. Please, please, Placements was thrown together at very short have gone on to super stardom.“The there. Gavin was pleased by the new for the sake of God listen out for their notice and was devastatingly undersold, limelight was premature. Coldplay investment “Last time I was sweating my debut album, out in March and when what did Terris think of that? Again in already had been on tour and had their bollocks off”. they pass through Portsmouth on tour, their style, they didn’t particularly care, album in the bag at that point.They On their Glastonbury performance see them and witness the power as it’s the tour was for them to just end off were like a year ahead of us, we were last summer Terris were quick to admit unleashed. Fucking amazing. be yourself – be part of it the year, to just try out some of the just in a different position altogether.” their disdain for the sound there and Paul Cornwell songs from the new album live and to That clears that up then. the fact that it was about twelve miles also have a bit of a laugh. One point of note is the difference in away from anywhere else. PAGE 10 PAGE 11 WESSEX PAPER FEBRUARY.1 19/2/01 5:17 pm Page 22

THE EDGE THE EDGE

THE EDGE THE EDGE DANCE

NYE 2000 fact that the event was not in the actual chime of NY seemed a fairly minor Skinny of limb. Big of hair. Whatever. They rock! ...saw Ministry of Sound take over dome itself but in the Skyscape event, as the party folks were quick to London’s South Bank in its most surrounding the dome (Beware the resume the places around the musical too. If you have never heard them then At The Drive-In - 02/02.01- The ambitious manoeuvre yet. Discussions power of marketing). feast.While the sounds were eclectic, the you must have been living in a hole. Astoria had begun some time ago and in the common theme seemed pretty They sound like a whole mix of genres months that followed the highly skilled In any case it was most impressive to retrospective of the year gone by. Some thrown into a blender and coming out The night started early at 6:30 and AT THE DRIVE-IN team were sent in to negotiate the observe a rather smooth juxta- of the better sounds and a welcomed screaming. As they walked on the stage despite being sold out the Astoria was transition into 2001. positioning of musical derivatives within supply of lesser known pieces did pretty empty when Terris hit the stage. they seemed unaware of the hype than it did in Cedric’s hands, and the to be a figure of crowd control and he the same sphere of influence. The image feature. Though the sharp intrinsic cuts Terris are a rock act with an average surrounding them, they were just here guitar was being thrown around more made sure people at the front were not of a rather elated crasherstyled kid of that little known track, “Operation sound and they did nothing to excite, to have fun.The key word tonight was like a weapon.Although they looked getting crushed during songs. I think attempting to entice a garage Blade”(?!) did lead to a certain surge of despite their efforts the audience were energy, and this hit the Astoria like a small on the big stage of the Astoria bands with a conscious are cool, If every appreciating selecta with his glow stick, psychosis on the System F stage. Ministry simply waiting for better things. The tidal wave. From the very first notes of they made full use of the size, the band had this attitude then maybe there was priceless (needless to say, the residents began the deeper sounds of next band, My Vitriol, proved grunge is ‘Arcarsenal’ they were flying over the vocalist even did some funky wouldn’t be as much violence at individual in question did not submit and house and a more funk related workout still alive and well, even if it took them a stage, and Omar, the guitarist, was breakdancin’. hardcore gigs, although we don’t get this stood firm in his branded urban wears). followed in that vicinity. Oakenfold And lest we forget the drum and bass long time to show this with big build- hurling his guitar all over the place and They suffered a bit from sound on the so much in England so I don’t think But then this was a lesson to us all. The unsurprisingly mixed up his usual blend stage. Where tightness had been before ups to all their songs.All their songs spinning it around his body. It’s amazing first two or three songs because you many people appreciated his point.The ministry had gathered all those persons of magic and electrically weaned delights could not really compare. It was tight. seem to have the same formulae, pretty he could actually find time to play any of could barely hear the guitars but the highlight would have to be ‘Rolodex there present to deliver the rather to have the masses totally enthralled.The Dark. Intense. Yet somehow there intros that go on for too long before the songs.This is a band that begged to vocals and the drums carried the songs, Propaganda’, or ‘Cosmonaut’, or ‘Pattern poignant message, that together we are mighty garage arena, ground out the remained an overwhelming affability.The building up to fast paced rock, which be watched.With Cedric, the vocalist, not many bands could have pulled that Against User’, or ‘One Armed Scissor’. all One...Though in all seriousness, there tunes to a steadily rhythmic mass. Dream line up was first class as the masters some of the crowd had a good jump jumping all over the place and leaping off.They played all the classic songs as Or ‘Lopsided’. Sod it every song was a was a sense of unity, a comfort team, broadcast live on radio 1, did not flexed their power of bass with the fresh about to, but I don’t think they were off the top of the drums whilst they ran through, literally it seemed, highlight.They came back for a quick somewhere amongst all illogicality and fail to disappoint with their Spoon fed breed of db’sters. Ed Rush and C gave a suited to the atmosphere tonight. maniacally swinging the microphone most of their songs from the encore though and managed to smash labelled inanity.And after all, a party was antics. MJ Cole and ‘Da Boss’ Windross colossal set, if somewhat brief. Ray Keith By the time At The Drive-In hit the about this band are full of energy and Relationships of command album.They up their instruments at the same time in to be had. each did their stuff in fine form. The rolled up to incur rapturous response stage the Astoria was packed.At The give their all into every song.This band slowed down for a couple of their older true rock’n’roll fashion.And then as delicate cocktail of twostep, hip hop, and from his searing bass cut fresh with Drive-In are an amazing band on record aren’t stuck to their instruments, the songs, including the best song from innocently as they had arrived with their Throughout the night the vibe was rnb, received periodic outbursts of an twisted vocal tracks. Amongst the and they lived up to the expectation of microphone spent more time being IN/CASINO/OUT, that is ‘Lopsided’, and whirlwind style performance they left, massive. Each arena was completely almost jungalist nature to paced the sounds was the ever faithful ‘Alien Girl’ being one of the best live acts around thrown about the stage and in the air ‘Rascuache’ was certainly a highlight, but leaving a trail of destruction in their raucous from start to finish. Even the evening perfectly. and ‘Warzone’ , as well as more recent At The Drive-In slow is like most bands wake. tracks from the likes of Kosheen. at their peak. Even when Cedric is At The Drive-In have proved that they Appreciation also had to be lent to the trying to stand still he is still twitching are one of the best bands around at the The event, which sold out entirely before smooth punctuation, given courtesy of all over the place like a man possessed. moment, not only have they got the the eve, was supplied with some of the MCs Moose, G and Rhyme Time. The guitarist even took his guitar off music but they have the stage presence biggest names in all that is dance. The and the whole band danced for and they put on a real performance. If Ministry had really excelled in its everyone at one point, you don’t get you thought their songs on the album multiplicity. The featured acts, or those Basically, the ministry had done good. much funkier than that.They are a band were energetic then to witness them who prefer to be referred to as artistes, Commercial. Perhaps, though certainly at that want to be associated with having a live doesn’t do justice to the record, transcended all domains of house, its very best. However this piece cannot good time for everyone and they hate there is no way to recreate the effort trance, garage, UK Garage (a whole however be ended without thanking the crowd surfin’ and slam dancin’, and emotion they put into each song. different category please!), and drum and forces above for ALL that rain.And many especially after the death at the Big Day Maybe if you got two really fluffy dogs bass. Clearly there was going to thanks for to Nasty Nick for making an Out, but everyone still had a really good and threw them around your something to please most. This would appearance, proving that he is as funny in time and the crowd went mad to every bedroom... also, albeit somewhat conveniently, offer real life, and every bit of the t**t that we song. I know Cedric considers himself Steve Johnson grounds to justify the apparently minor saw on big bro. PAGE 12 PAGE 13 WESSEX PAPER FEBRUARY.1 19/2/01 5:18 pm Page 24

THE EDGE THE EDGE DANCE

THE EDGE THE EDGE

Ministry of Sound The chillout session ALBUMS ministry recordings In two cds and 36 tracks the ministry has made a selection of superlative quality including ABC SMUT PEDDLERS orchestral overtures, soulful . . . ? ? Porn Again jazz, dubby house, trance, as easy as (Rawkus) samba, salsa, and funk. A blazin’ Rawkus joint - DJ Mighty Mi and Mr Eon, of the High and Mighty, and Cage form this ill combo. Get out now if easily offended - the promo The classical French horn ABC, (the Addict Beats Collective), presented what was to be the third episode of their highly entertaining hip hop and scratchy show. Screened at Southampton’s Rhino club, flyer, based on the group name, was x-rated! Mighty Mi’s turntablism combined with cello of Badly Drawn Boy’s Scala’s Matt Smooth and Rob Mac starred alongside Mr Thing and Defikew in what proved to be a night of superlative sound and musical fluency. Eon’s Erick Sermon like rhymes blast on “Smut Council” and “Medicated Minutes” could ‘The Shining’ opens the first have been on Def Squad’s “El Nino”. E has many styles, coming like Roots Manuva, then disc of authentic ‘blissful The sounds of Jurassic 5 provided a friendly prelude as the cultivated audience gathered together. Defikew, of the Distortion crew, kicked off with a deeper bass and more driven Busta Rhymes then his own style. Cage’s attitude compliments this well - Tunes like beats’, swiftly chased away by pace before giving way to Gripper of Manchester’s Grand Central label.As momentum grew the Scarecrows Breakdance massive were limbering up, by the bar. Smooth and Mac “Amazing Feats” and “One by One” showcase each vocal talent over phat breaks and fatboy slim and macy gray’s were punctuated by the furious scratching of Mr Thing,World DMC No. 3, as they delivered their polished blend of hip hop and breaks. The percussive periods were spot on and it bass, with a strong anti-commercial flava.The comparison with the other white boy of ‘demons’. The u.k’s groove was great that the tunes played at this point seemed highly sympathetic to our homegrown talents - classic tracks from Massive Attack and the Freestylers were mixed in perfectly hip hop, Eminem, is an obvious one but these guys were doin’ it when Em was getting armada’s with ‘dusk you and with newer sounds such as Mark B and Blade’s excellent ‘The Unknown’. This seemed a perfect moment for the Scarecrows to flex their breakdancing substance. As they took beat down at high-school! The content is similarly offensive, but that’s where it ends - me’ and ‘Les nuits’ from centre stage, the scene emulated one of Fame as the likes of Jerome et al ‘rolled like kings’, within the confines of the appreciative crowd. Stateside bad boys, Dr. Dre and Snoop check Cage’s beef with Em in his rhymes... Most definitely one for fans of Rawkus and nightmare’s on wax are two of Dog, later featured with their ‘Next Episode’ and when this was followed by ‘Simon says’ the breakers became even more animated, to the thrill of the audience.The rapturous independent hip-hop. Not for the faint hearted. the most chilled out tunes responses paid due dividends to a night of the purest quality, as ABC delivered their elementary lessons. 8/10 imaginable, a great remedy for CD PC all those who, like rob d, are ‘clubbed to death’. A d’n’b mix of ‘the sun rising’ from the MEMPHIS BLEEK beloved raises the tempo, but the harmony already attained levitates to reach this plateau, escalating into the ‘horizons’ of ltj bukem. Tim ‘love’ lee and the thievery From Jay-Z’s stable comes a.n.other playa - this one claims his name stands for “Makin’ corporation bring salsa and softer drums before delectable tracks from lemon jelly, Easy Money Pimpin’ Hos In Style”. Bleek obviously comes from his style...Another kinobe and bonobo, and the renowned ‘natural blues’ from moby. This fabulous gangsta turned emcee with more guns than rhymes, loads of money, pagers, cars and combination is made complete by the soul hooligan remix of the stone roses legendary SINGLES an attitude. If you’ve heard the Jigga’s latest albums, and you want more of the same, ‘shoot you down’. get this.“They’ll never play me” has some interesting samples and a catchy melody and, while the intro promises much, the rest of the album fails to score high.With joints Disc two brings a seamlessly mixed compilation of ‘chilled-out house’, of the most subtle featuring Jay-Z, Beanie Sigel, Missy Elliot and Carl Thomas (of “Kun=g Fu Fighting” beats and gentle harmonies. From the chart topping jakatta ‘American dream’, the 57th DYNASTY FINGATHING and MR SCRUFF fame?!), this album certainly has plenty of hype but fails to rise significantly above the mellow ‘awakening’, to the dub-infused ‘pasilda’ from afro medusa. The pace steps into GHETTO GOLD/ HOLD STRONG JUST PRACTICE mass of east/west coast gansta (c)rap.With the release of Lyricist Lounge 2, I know a more ambient tone creating an enveloping blanket of sound, which includes sumsonic’s Fasfwd grandcentralrecords falling, amber’s sensual ‘sexual’. This second disc is made completed by leftfield’s ‘melt’, This is the Manchester based label in the what I’ll be getting... 5/10 a personal favourite and exceptional tune. Fading out with an excellent remix of energy 57th Dynasty are the Brixton based hip slightly more abstract as it presents the PC 52’s outstanding ‘cafe del mar’ highlighting what this compilation is all about - the hop crew who have recently picked up collaborative instruction of Fingathing serenity of an Ibizan sunset. Best Act at UK Hip Hop Awards. For (DJ Peter Parker and double bass guy SPOOKS anyone who’s seen them live, its no Sneaky) and Mr Scruff. Ultimately the S.I.O.S.O.S.Volume One The discs are what they set out to be (although disc two best precedes disc one); the surprise that their latest release is pretty parties provide a tutorial in playing rock (Antra) definitive chillout album, easy listening for the descent of any night out, anywhere. massive.“Ghetto Gold” launches a full on guitar with a turntable. The guitar loop 9/10 RL assault of driven beats.The organic lyrics and almost western twang all manage Trying to avoid comparing Spooks to the Fugees is hard, since similar bittersweet boast the arrival of the Dynasty and some how to fall into place with the rare female vocals percolate every one of this carefully-constructed album’s biting and enhance the harder musical effects. scratches and mild breaks. The track occasionally mellow hip-hop tunes, as it was on 1996’s ‘The Score’. Most will know Ratpack in town, offers an oblique sort of funk, in the vain There’s enough drama in this one to rival them from their recent single ‘Things I’ve Seen’ which is probably famous for being the ERYKAH BADU SHEA SEGER any Eastend feud. Though it would have of J5, with an overwhelmingly cheeky The 1st of February 2001 heralded a new night down at CLub M by the organisers only decent tune in the Top Ten for too many years. Mama’s Gun The may street project to be said that the chants of ‘ole’ to end nature. The guitar speak and lessons Squeeze18.Thursday nights are now being offered to the Southampton ‘massive’ Spooks’ influences range widely and their usual brand of hip-hop can sometimes (Motown Records) (RCA) do seem somewhat incongruous. Then kindly lent throughout, make this fresh under the title ‘SLAM.’ Squeeze18 has promised us, that as well as ‘quality’ verge on slightly cheesy R’n’B or soul (‘Swindley’s Maracas’ has a rhythm section the flip,“Hold on Strong”, recounts some sounding episode a highly humorous drum & bass on Fridays and ‘banging’ house techno and trance on Saturdays, this horribly reminiscent of a Craig David song); a drum’n’bass loop in ‘Sweet Revenge’ It’s been four years since the release of ‘Last time’ seems like a strange choice of of the harsher realities of a musical transposition. new night will bring an array of old school antics and an alternative feel to however makes a pleasant surprise and ‘Deep Cutz’s’ relentlessly rolling breakbeat is Erykah Badu’s critically acclaimed album introduction to the delights of she‡ contemporary upbringing. While the 4/5 CD the already established nights in Southampton. an adrenaline-charged change of pace that offers a welcome contrast to the usually ‘Baduizm’ and fans of this album will be seger, but is swiftly followed by the more beats remain purposive, the track is laid-back vibe of the record.Although the rapping can be simplistic in rhythm and pleased to know that the wait for new buoyant ‘clutch’. Incorporating the altogether more soulful. The rhymes So it has begun. The first night offered us The Ratpack - hardcore legends. rhyme, the lyrics are intelligent, with a venom that belies this ambience. material is over. “I’m brighter than rhymes of DRUGS, and the scratching of reveal a natural fluency and the soulful Remember warehouse raves, glow sticks, white gloves, horns, whistles and workman The last two tracks,‘Bitch Blood’ and ‘Murder’ have superb Dre/Eminem-style, acidic before... brighter, reflecting the light of Commissioner Gordon in ‘Blind vocals, combined with the charming jackets? That’s what the Ratpack catapaulted me towards. Tunes like ‘on a but half-comic vocals that round off an album that will endure several listens; if only for the sun”, sings a blissful Badu on the Situation’, make it an eclectic fusion of piano notes create a certain vulnerability. ragga tip’, Prodigy’s ‘Out of Space’ - are you feeling the late eighties and its sheer variety and complexity excellent track ‘Orange Moon’ and it’s bass and funk. ‘Shatterwall’ is a soothing The more interesting track on the early ninties enveloping you? Is it making you smile? Where were you then last 8/10 fair to say that her follow up album interlude, the gentle percussion, acoustic release. Thursday? The Club was rammed with a complete mix of people from locals, to AD ‘Mama’s Gun’ is at least equal and maybe guitar and backing vocals combine, 3/5 CD students, and those who just don’t fit under either those umbrellas. But all of even a cut above it’s predecessor. drawing attention away from the tale of a them uniting in a massive spasm of dance and horn blowing!! The night offered no The tempo of the opening track life in disintegration. Add extra drums, INGE VAN HENDRICK TAYO Y4K moodiness - that being the beauty of hardcore and it’s essentially acceptable ‘Penitentiary Philosophy’ is upbeat and shimmery trills and tambourine for ‘I love SHAMEN FURTHER STILL cheezy feel. funky but for the majority of this album you too much’ which culminates in a Unicorn star records distinctive breaks Badu’s soulful vocals are set to more intense segment of sound. A “The Ratpack were the first guys I heard at a rave, they revolutionised my music downtempo jazzy hip-hop beats, and if delicate, unaccompanied voice solo in This is the second single release from the Y4k is Tayo’s second mix album with distinctive breaks. Possibly one of the most taste throughout my teens!!!!” Kind of like when you sit in a room with your you are a fan of this genre then “Mama’s the opening of ‘Walk on rainbows’ UK-based Belgian and features the persuasive and diverse jockeys around right now, this enigmatic macrocosm of sounds mates and remember your childhood with emblems like ‘Dungeons and Dragons’with Gun” is absolutely essential. confirms Shea’s affiliation with Janis Joplin apparently Great Lord Kane Vs- Aura will offer multiple pleasures to the more aurally tuned. The album demonstrates a the whiny unicorn called uni! The Ratpack conjured this feeling. L-FUDGE There’s a collaboration here with Steve and Ricky Lee Jones. The soft vocal remixes. This is possibly the most progressive crossover between electrotech-house and nu skool breaks. The rather LOVE LETTERS Marley on the heartfelt track “I’m in love whisper gives way to more synthesised impotent track ever to be heard. debonair “Travellin’ On” kicks off the mix. This stylish groove is enticed by the gentle It is hot and very sweaty, the idea is to empty your bladder before you go into b-9 belgium with you” and also check the New York, tones of dub and’plucked piano’. As a Comprising merely of a weak, delusional female vocals, to provide a somewhat magmatic serenity.This mixes in to the chic Italian the main downstairs room, because once you leave you will have to queue for up design “Sueno Latino”, though the Bushwacka mix does delve into a harder edged funk. jazz-funk style contribution from Roy debut album this shows the possibilities vocal cry, wrapped about a lackadaisical L Fudge has been skulking about for a to twenty minutes to hear the big names. The Stanton Warriors’ “Da Antidote” a bit later launches into a prolific assault of beats Ayers who provides percussion and of Shea’s talents, and her certain progress grouping of beats. Sure they may be while now.This tale of mistaken love is a while the central electro line is outstanding.Tayo indulges in some tribal minimalism from vocals on the infectious “Cleva”. will fill those areas which may seem a programmed to follow a pseudo genuinely affecting hip hop affair. The The line up for the next few Thursdays are just as phat for those up for a Rennie Pilgrim and releases some machiavellian incisions with the immense “Scram”.The This is a quality album and is highly little lacking. housetype formula but will somebody Fudge cooly rhymes over the dipping serious boog! So Solid Crew provide the one night a month garage feel. DJ West Coast frat are also represented with their Pill-type conundrum and the audacious recommended. please explain that a methodical piano echo. The steady beat serves to Marky - D&B and john ‘oo’ Fleming - hard ‘ouse. Pick your arena of music and breaks of Jackal & Hyde’s ‘Beyond’ receive a finely placed airing. To end there’s “Fire 8/10 progression is not really enough to stand warm the track while the chorus is visit Club M on a Thursday of your choice or indeed if your up for some Good” by Tayo himself in collaboration with Precision Cuts.The chilling vocals, perfectly 9/10 RL on its own. Guess this one’s probably not truelly absortbant. This amicable experimentation this is the night to choose. layered breakbeats and stunning electroinfusions, bring a deserved ending to this JH for me. approach becomes neutralised with a MS definitive compilation. 0/5 CD more abrasive edging, to ensure a binding 9/10 listen. CD 4/5 CD PAGE 14 PAGE 15 WESSEX PAPER FEBRUARY.1 19/2/01 5:18 pm Page 26

THE EDGE THE EDGE

It’s a drizzly December evening. Inside the foyer of the Guildhall, a small group of student hacks are Live Stuff waiting. Outside, the steps are already beginning to swell with pre- pubescent bodies, swathed in The Strokes Quiksilver and Mambo hoodies, Portsmouth Wedgewood Rooms unkempt hair poking out from January 31 under beanie hats. Reef are late. Again. On their first British date, supporting ...And You Will Know Us By The Trail Of To be fair, it’s not entirely their fault.The Dead at a low key warm-up before the West Country boys were forced to NME Astoria shows, the crowd are postpone their Getaway tour (which was already interested by a gushing NME On due to start in October) when Leonine piece the week previously. The attention vocalist Gary Stringer was asked by directed at New York’s The Strokes is not doctors to rest for six weeks following undeserved. his third knee operation in less than six With one UK single release under their years. Tonight, it is the weather belts - ‘The Modern Age’ - they typify conditions and traffic that have conspired everything the average Brit might imagine against them, delaying their arrival in New York to be. Singer Julian Southampton by an hour. An Casablancas growls along in a laconic irrepressibly chummy Sony rep informs drawl - very Lou Reed - and occasionally me, not unlike a protective mother, that stumbles around the stage, or he stands, they can come out after they’ve had their with one hand in his pocket, propped up dinner. Inside the main hall, bassist Jack against the microphone stand like Joey and guitarist Kenwyn (obviously the fast Ramone. Then there are the guitarists, eaters of the group) have already been bobbing around like Brian Jones. allowed out to play and have begun Meanwhile, the rest of the band, decked kicking a football around the main hall. out in their finest leather and denim and with floppy bowl-cuts and demi-afros a- Eventually, a tall figure with dishevelled go go, know how to look cool like bands brown hair saunters up, wielding a used to. steaming bowl of spotted dick and The music has just as rich a musical custard. He introduces himself as heritage within its chords too. There’s touch of mod in there. And then, of roll reference points, as the ghost of Lou Day. It’s more than just teen-rebellion by Dominic, the drummer, and apologises chugging, gristly post-punk noise, Bowie course, lots of Velvet Underground. Reed’s long since deceased talent guides numbers, The Strokes are sophisticated, with a soft-spoken earnestness that the at his ‘Moonage Daydream’ best, west Whether it’s in the stuttered delivery, or them above the stage. sexy and cool and they are going to re- others will not be joining us. The coast melodies, a bit of sleaze - ‘I want to the ceaseless, hypnotic groove. It’s punk rock like they made it in the shape the rock landscape. interview begins. steal your innocence’ croons Casablancas, Each of the songs twists and turns good ol’ days! Forget the three-chord Andrew Snowball and, strangely, there’s more than just a through every one of the great rock ‘n’ wonders like The Offspring or Green Getaway is the band’s fourth album, a riffed up, energised, delirious blinder, in marked contrast to the mellow acoustic REEF (in brief) Herman dune the NME; and now Grandaddy’s music possesses the kind of feel of their last release, Rides. As Gary London, 12 Bar Club - moshing at a beauty that makes it sound as though it Grandaddy gig! has been around forever. Lowgold also has said, “we’ve gone for getting melody on record: Embrace. Dominic replies in a music, where the vocals of Mellow were you’re there with other people, you have Both poetic and enigmatic, the french The formation of a sound as though they’ve been around into three minutes and songs that are a voice which oozes with sarcasm: used as a sample in a Steve Lawler track; four people’s points of view. Things can brothers David-Ivar and Andre Herman ‘pit for every song forever, but for all the wrong reasons. bit more rocking and immediately “Yeah.What a great band they are.” do they have any plans for more work in get ironed out a little bit.” Dune, with their Swiss friend Ome, that included They seem to be aiming at a beautiful, brilliant.” On their penultimate UK gig Phew, saved! Having found a preferable that direction? Despite this, there have been no real strike up a mysterious presence. something melody-driven soundscape, but they before Christmas, how’s it all going? subject for conversation we spend a few “No, not really...” tensions in the band during the tour. But In the middle of last year, the group resembling a loud simply don’t have the tunes to back up “I’m feeling a bit tired over these last few minutes slagging off Embrace until we are Not your thing? is it hard to find your own space? picture:Andrew Snowball quitely released their inly album to date, guitar was certainly the grand idea. If, like Grandaddy, they days, but it’s just really good to be doing interrupted by support band Crashland’s “Well kind of, I mean I like dance music, “Yeah, I feel like that today. Just ‘Turn Off the Light’, which is a dark, unlikely, though (at put some inventive thought into their this”, Dominic explains. “It’s just like a soundcheck. We retreat to the plush but not that sort of dance music. I was sometimes.You just can’t get away from brooding collection of melancholia, with least for the band) arrangements, then they might just start dream really; if you want to be in a band location of... a nearby stairwell! I into it a for a little bit when I was at everyone...but sometimes you don’t little light relief. But tonight, the band not unwelcome. to make people pay attention. However, you think ‘oh, imagine playing gigs with compliment him on his spotted dick college, got into a bit of hip hop...” want to. It’s really wicked having are much more graceful, and treat the Frontman Jason tonight they are simply boring. Their loads and loads of people’, so it’s the (sorry, I couldn’t resist), which was What sort of music do you listen to on everyone around, but sometimes you just crowd gently. Lytle thanked the current single Mercury, was one of the thing you look forward to the most apparently preceded with Irish stew: tour? want to get away.” On a stage bedecked with candles, the crowd, adding that highlights of the set - I think this says it really.” “Yeah, they’re like a catering company, “I’m into Elliott Smith...the Beatles, Talk turns to the next album, have the trio gently roll into their set with the it made a pleasant all about the quality of the set, as heard We start talking about what he’s got they come out on tour... its brilliant obviously. We’ve got loads of stuff...like band started working on it yet? blissful elegance of ‘One Chord Song’. change, as they in isolation, or on the radio, this is planned after the tour. really, they’re like mums”. Ike and Tina Turner, Queen, Sly and the “We haven’t really...up until now, we’ve whereas on record, the band are often “normally have a nothing more than a nice, average track “Well, I’ll be going back down to Devon Bless. I get a mental picture of the band Family Stone...” just been thinking about this tour, but uncomfortable to listen to, the stark quietening effect, which passes the time. The only time the [for Christmas], see my girlfriend, stay in being tucked up at night on the tour bus So it’s mainly retro music? recently,you know, after a while you start lyrics and grating guitar sounds which we find quite band look like they might rise above their a little cottage somewhere, visit my by a group of large bosomed matrons “ Well, Elliott Smith’s not retro...retro thinking about new stuff. After we’ve emphasising this, tonight they mostly disturbing”. The excruciating mediocrity, is when, upon parents, family, then go to Australia...it’ll (and that Sony rep), and try desperately style maybe, but it’s just good songs been on tour for a while our priorities surrender this in favour of infinitely reason Grandaddy announcing the final song, lead singer be brilliant” It seems the work never to suppress a smile. Talk turns to Gary. really, good songwriters.” change and we’ll be playing these songs warmer and more accessible songs. normally have a Darren Ford informs the audience that stops... How is his knee keeping up? We discuss the cheesy commercialism of easily and we’ll have more energy to This means that tonight’s show is of a quietening effect they won’t enjoy Grandaddy as they’re “Yeah, I suppose so; we’re spending New “Yeah, he’s alright.” the pop charts, and how it seems to be start writing again. It won’t be long more subtle texture, more pleasant and (and why you “fucking shit” and “the worst band ever”. Year in Australia, then we’re going to It’s not the first time that one of Gary’s getting harder and harder to find decent before we do stuff.” less intimidating. But the power that wouldn’t expect This creates a refreshing air of tension as Japan for the tour,and then we’re coming injuries has caused problems with the songs at the moment. We banter a bit about festivals and the band possess to move their moshing at one of sections of the Grandaddy faithful back here, to do those extra dates [in band’s schedule; is it a pain in the “ I know, you really have to look for it Dominic suggests that Glastonbury may audience on record is generally lost. their gigs), is that temporarily lose all grip on irony. Ireland].” proverbial? don’t you, you don’t get given it.” be cancelled (this was before the official Instead what we have is something they create songs However, halfway through the song Ford I suggest that Reef are more suited to “Yeah, it’s a pain in the knee! (groan) But One mutual favourite, however, is Badly announcement) to which (as a Glasto significantly less striking, but not of such simple yet realises that he may have caused the being a live band than a studio band. yeah, he’s had quite a lot of problems Drawn Boy. veteran) I roll my eyes and suggest that necessarily made up of mere platitudes. staggering beauty, audience to feel something other than “Well, I think they come hand in hand with his knees...not for any particular “I like that album...I like the way he put it they say that every year (Doh! Sorry Ed. Many of the band’s songs are deeply which are indifference, and disappointingly points really. I s’pose it’s like, yeah, if you think reason, it just got bad one day and a few together, its good...I like it when people - could have had an exclusive there). But personal, but they have a vaguely produced in such out the obvious, that he was only joking. we’re better live than actually on weeks before the start of the tour he work on their own, they tend to have by this time the tour-wearied drummer’s political side too, expressed most an intricate and record...” had to have an operation.” that sort of album.You can tell he was on eyes are starting to droop, and he looks evidently by the call and response Grandaddy / Lowgold thoughtful way. With songs like ‘He’s If Grandaddy wanted a support band I suddenly remember a recent Melody What did the rest of you do? his own, rather than being in a band. like he needs a rest. We wind it down, whispers, compelling the listener to Southampton University Students’ Simple, He’s Dumb, He’s The Pilot’, one who would be guaranteed not to steal Maker review that suggested that, while “Just had a month off really! ...it was quite When you’re in a band you kind of shake hands and with that, Dominic “hate the state”. Union, Saturday 3 February. cannot help but feel compelled to simply their thunder, they picked the right guys being great at gigs, Reef had never made nice, but at the same time we were all compromise a lot, sometimes. You lose Greensmith picks himself up off the But the battered guitars, creating such stand, listen, and be consumed by the in Lowgold. This evening categorically a really good record, and franticly try to really looking forward to this tour. It that quirkiness.” stairs, says “Cheers” and strolls back harsh tones, coupled with the Brothers’ The Kids are desperate to Rock - it’s wonderful melodies and sounds belongs to those strange bearded men get myself out of a tight spot by citing a always happens; when you’ve recorded Surely not a problem that Reef have? through to the foyer. The dinner ladies Neil Young-esque singing voices make official! The evidence over recent weeks produced by these five guys from from the other side of the Atlantic. band who are crap live (sorry but they the songs you’re just really looking “No, but you do, really. I mean we get on will be tucking him in early tonight. this band impossible to ignore. has been unavoidable - Limp Bizkit on top California. are just so dull), but whose seem to forward to playing them live.” really well and creatively we work really Jenny Szewiel Andrew Snowball of both the singles and album charts; John McKenna work pretty well (well, passable at least) I ask about Reef’s recent foray into dance well together, but you know, because Amen’s Casey Chaos on the front cover of PAGE 16 PAGE 17 WESSEX PAPER FEBRUARY.1 19/2/01 5:18 pm Page 28

THE EDGE THE EDGE

THE EDGE THE EDGE THE GAMES page Film and Theatre * 1-4 Players * 3D Arena-based Battle * Eurocom/Cerny Games/SCEE * Playstation THE JUNGLE BOOK

Describing Crash Bash is GROOVE PARTY a little bit * 1-2 players Love at First Bite tricky. As you * Music and Dance have already Preceding the release of Shadow vampire is incredibly striking, with * Ubisoft/Disney/SCEE guest this game of the Vampire later this month, pointed ears, black rimmed eyes and * Playstation includes the characters from Crash Bandicoot (a rather January saw the re-release of the abnormally long, white fingers. His successful series of games). The main premise of this game is to compete in four horror classic it was inspired by, pointed teeth, situated at the front of In The Jungle Book Grove player competitive events either against the computer or against your mates. With Nosferatu, on video and DVD. his mouth, give him a rat-like Party the player takes the more that 30 competitive events to master this game should keep you entertained for Directed by F.W. Murnau, who has been appearance, and his bulgy-eyed stares famous character of Mowgli, ages. called “the greatest film director the are genuinely disturbing.The film was the boy raised in the jungle by wolves who, after being summoned Germans have ever known”, the film shot on location, leading to some back to the Man Village by the Wolf Council, embarks on a fantastic adventure through The game play is smooth with some very nice was the very first to be based on Bram stunning scenery, and the studio scenes the jungle with Bagheera the black panther, dancing along with all the amusing and graphics. Even with four players playing at the same Stoker’s Dracula, and while Francis Ford are just as meticulously decorous. Much engaging characters he meets on the way. Right, that’s enough of the press release. time on the same screen the keeps its speed. At Coppola’s adaptation is the better of the film is shot in ominous shadows, times though, it is hard to precisely work out what is known, Murnau’s version undoubtably which add to the chilling atmosphere, as Most of you should know the story The Jungle Book, but do you really know the full going on, making the game very hectic and partly a set the standard and contains many does Nosferatu’s habit of gradually story? I mean, did you know that our hero Mowgli had to ‘dance’ his way through the game of chance. The slightly random nature of the spine-chilling cinematic techniques that fading away into nothingness. jungle? I doubt it! Did you know that Mowgli really defeated the tiger (Shere Khan) game is great as it allows any standard of gamer to we can still see in horror films today. Unsurprisingly, however, there are with his slick foot movement, break dancing, and the occasional backflip? Again, I doubt join in with the fun, making this one of the most It is only by chance, however, that many parts of the film that have not it! enjoyable multi-player games released to date. Nosferatu is still available.After its initial translated so well into the twenty-first release in 1922, Florence Stoker sued century.The melodrama can seem way In a nutshell, the game is based on dancing and music, where you have to press the Some of you might remember a game on the N64 called Mario Party, which it seems Murnau for using her (deceased) over the top, as when the hero, right direction in line with the instructions in the game. With the inclusion of subtitles that Crash Bash has modelled itself on. Although not the most original game around, husband’s story without permission. Jonathan Hutter, rushes home to to help to you learn the songs and with some stunning FMV scenes this game seems to this is the first game of its type on the Playstation (I believe). The very simple nature Rather than opting for compensation, a exclaim to his wife “I’m going to travel be on to a winner. of the games actually adds to the game play, court order was issued to destroy the far away to the country of thieves and notices that his estate agent boss is also for anyone who is interested in cult although after a while of playing on your own original negatives and all known prints ghosts”, then runs around the house clearly a cannibalistic loony is beyond horror. It may not star the delectable But what makes this game so different from anything released (No, I’m not being rude) the game starts to lose of the film. However, one print remained grinning inanely and shoving clothes into me. Gary Oldman, Keanu Reeves or Winona so far is the inclusion of a dance mat. Gone are the days of its edge and you begin to get frustrated with the hidden in London, and it is from that what appears to be a large bratwurst Nevertheless, if you can accept the Ryder, but this, my friends, is the real the Playstation bottom, as you get the chance to dance along blatant cheating of the computer characters. copy that the new, digitally remastered sausage.We are more likely to giggle at odd peculiarity of this sort, and the thing. with all you Jungle Book favourites. This game is obviously version became available. the sight of Nosferatu’s coach zooming grating soundtrack doesn’t deter you, Jenny Szewiel directed towards children, giving them a chance to interact In all, this game is a must if you are looking for The film itself is elaborate and, at around the screen in fast-motion than this film is well worth watching, directly with the game using the dance mat. Having said that, competitive entertainment between your mates. times, chillingly atmospheric. Shreck’s be spooked, and why Hutter never particularly for the serious film buff, but I’m sure after a couple of larger tops, this game will keep you If you don’t go out and have no friends (like entertained watching your mates make a fool of themselves if myself) then Crash Bash will probably bore you after a nothing else. while, leaving you to find alternative entertainment on your own!?!?!? James Rumsey 91% James Rumsey 85% A Test of Character is a classic eighteenth-century French farce by Preview Pierre Marivaux. Freshly translated for * 1 Player only this production by the director Simon * Shoot em up ‘Black Comedy’ Williams, the play revolves around * Taito/JVC RAYCRISIS Lucidor, a wealthy bachelor from Paris and * Playstation who falls in love with AngÈlique, the ‘A Test of Character’ daughter of a country landowner.To test the strength of AngÈlique’s love, Nuffield Theatre, Southampton Uniquely exploiting the Playstation’s 2.5D capabilities, your mission, to cut a safe COMPETITION Lucidor decides to send his handsome 8th - 10th March 2001, 7.30pm path for your ship and free mankind from mech invasion. Obtain power-ups and wily servant, disguised as a nobleman, to woo her.The cunning plan galore as you destroy waves of oncoming enemy craft in a shoot ‘em up frenzy Yes, its your lucky day. I have decided to relinquish the This double bill of comedy offers the soon begins to unravel. It’s reassuring that excites the arcade lover in all of us (I love press releases, because they ownership of a free game sent to me, to be able to donate it to unique chance to see the best of to know that, despite having the make my job so much easier). the less fortunate of you out there. Wow, I’m just too good to student drama in the Theatre Group’s reputation of a nation of lovers, the you lot sometimes. Anyway, teaming up with the boys down at Nuffield show. The plays are united by Raycrisis is basically your average shoot ‘em up, with all the original features i.e. French are just as cack-handed as the JVC, we have a copy of the newly released Raycrisis to give away themes of love, intrigue, and hidden power ups, big bad bosses, and numerous enemies to blow to kingdom come. rest of us when it comes to affairs of and, a rather funky spacepen. No, the pen does not come from identity. Despite being written 200 years The only feature that stands out in my mind is the ability to lock on to several the heart. outer space, but yes it does write underwater; in freezing cold apart, these hilarious, one-act farces targets and destroy them all in one go. and boiling temperatures; upside down; and just in case, it writes dovetail neatly to form what promises The University is very lucky to have one in a gravity free vacume. to be a highly entertaining evening. The game play and graphics are finely tuned and the 2.5D effects really do stand of the best venues in the South on campus, but it is not often that students out well. The actual game is also very challenging, which increases the lastability This is a once in a life time offer that just can’t be beaten, unless In Black Comedy, written by the highly get the chance to put on shows there. in trying to master each of the levels. With the amount of action going on at any of course I offer myself as the prise, but that would be a bit acclaimed Sir Peter Shaffer, who Give the group your support, and have a given time, you get a feeling of franticness which is rewarded with the stupid to just had away my sexy body like that. Anyway I have wouldn’t feel sorry for the struggling night out in a real theatre. Tickets are countless number of explosions and effects you receive. decided to offer these prises only to the most deserving of young sculptor, Brindsley? His £8.00 for adults, £5.00 for students and readers, which is why I am asking this extremly taxing question prospective father-in-law hates him; his Having said all this, there are very few levels to get through. After completing £4.50 for Theatre Group members. (but please don’t lose any sleep over it). neighbours hate his fiancee; a rich art- it on the first evening the only other option is to try and get a high score. If They are available now from the collector is coming to view his work you have no friends to show of your high scores them I believe this game will Nuffield box office - (023) 8067 1771 - Keeping on the space theme, What does NASA stand for? but the lights have just fused; he has be put to the bottom of your games pile after a matter of weeks, if that. and will also be on sale from February borrowed a neighbour’s prized antique 26th around the campuses. Send your answers to [email protected] furniture but hasn’t told him; and his Brindsley may just be able to put really light at the end of the tunnel for Good luck! 83% James Rumsey mistress is on her way home from the everything right.Then again, is there him or is it an oncoming train? Simon Williams airport. Under the cover of darkness, PAGE 18 PAGE 19 WESSEX PAPER FEBRUARY.1 19/2/01 5:18 pm Page 30

THE EDGE THE EDGE THE GAMES page Film and Theatre * 1-4 Players * 3D Arena-based Battle * Eurocom/Cerny Games/SCEE * Playstation THE JUNGLE BOOK

THE EDGE PAGE 13

KING ADORA/CRACKOUT /EASYWORLD Portsmouth Wedgewood Rooms

First things first: Easyworld.Thank God I Win instant fame got there in time for this band is all I can say.At first it was a case of “Oh no, * not another JJ72/Placebo sounding three-piece”, but I was pleasantly surprised to find a band that were just that little bit special.The soaring vocals and megabucks! and neck snapping guitar were made all Editors Touch the more powerful by a sense of, well, The Rough Guide to House You can’t fail to miss the build up to no with morcheeba how can I put it, fun.This is the first COMMON PROBLEM No 1: smoking day. It’s everywhere you look, time since I was wearing skinny fit T- You’ve heard a great record, from bill-boards to morose ad’s on the shirts that a support band has but it just dowsn’t have that TV, all telling you what you already generated so much euphoria.Top notch certain thing, that know: that it’s bad for you, that it’s song-writing, fantastic melodies and unidentifiable element to expensive, that it can - and probably will Hunting even a mandolin thrown in for good make it something really - kill you. But to be honest, this I can measure - buy Easyworld, you can’t go special, so that the whole handle, far worse is the look of horror on By Serena Coyne wrong. Probably the best thing to come world falls in love with it. But the doctor’s face when you let on that you out of Eastport since, well, forever.Their every now and then, you know smoke and the knowing glance as you lie debut single,“Hundredweight”, is out on Unless you’ve been living as a exactly what you can do to a through you’re teeth that you only 19th February on Fierce Panda - I urge record to make it shine. ‘smoke socially’. My last no smoking hermit for the past few weeks you to use your purchasing power boys binge lasted all of two weeks - quite an and girls! you won’t have been able to COMMON PROBLEM No 2: accomplishment I think you’ll agree - escape the fact that every So, you’ve identified what the unfortunately it was the inevitable vodka record needs, but, the label that led me back to the comfort of man and his dog is knocking refuse to give you the seperate cigarettes and my twenty-a-day habit has down the doors of the tracks on the song for you to returned with full force. But come no accommodation office to find remix. Hey, we’ve all been smoking day on March 14th (see there! It’s part of that endless page15) I’ll be joining the millions of his/hers dream house (we all cycle of despair - you can’t do others nervously reaching for the live in hope!!) If the thought an international remix without chewing gum and looking enviously at of finding a house and already having that reputation, special CD containing the original distributed to DJs nationwide! those hardened smokers who have actually doing some grown up and you can’t get the reputation song, and a capella and Feel free to do what you want boycotted the whole idea. In truth, I without first doing a bad-ass instrumental versions. with the record. Maybe you think actually quite like the thought of decision making daunts you remix. So how do you start? Well, The next step is to remix the it just needs beefing up, or you becoming a smug reformed smoker, then here are the top five tips believe it or not,The Edge have the thing (obviously) and send it off to may want to speed it up to 250 perhaps I’ll take up a sport to make use of to finding your student pad. answer. the judges. bpm for the full-on gabba my newly cleansed lungs (but perhaps not) its just a shame that I have to give up This is a national competition, treatment. Whatever, the choice is 1. When choosing a house, the numero THE SOLUTION: smoking to do it! Good luck to every and there will be a winner from yours. uno consideration is the people you are other serial quitter out there and let’s each university who will get a thinking of living with. Even if you do Those nice Morcheeba people have hope that this time will finally be the last. signed copy of the single, before To enter, send an email to manage to find the nicest house that They might be your mates but do you really want to live with them? given you, yes readers, you, the Katherine moving onto the final. [email protected] leaving your Portswood has to offer, it will be a living chance to remix their next single, xxx The overall winner will be judged full postal address, and you’ll hell if you and your house mates don’t the sublime ‘World Looking In’ by Morcheeba themselves and the receive the CD and an entry form. (the one off that car ad)! Crackout, well, my mother always see eye to eye. It’s the small things, like winning mix will be pressed onto Simple. 3. Steps can be taken to ensure that you good condition and meet all the fire All you need to do is pick up a said if you can’t say something nice, not changing the toilet roll, that can vinyl by East West records, and safety standards. *Not a guarantee don’t say anything at all. GET A JOB threaten world peace so ensure that you retain the bulk of your deposit on leaving can be tolerant towards all the people you the property and don’t get ‘dun over’ by So onto King Adora - if you haven’t live with even when they’ve used all the the landlord. You should make sure that 5. “Love thy neighbour!” The thought of heard of this band yet you soon will. The careers advisory service (CAS) is hot water and your hair is greasier than you get a receipt for the deposit, with a moving into a house probably conjures What’s on, at various local Their brand of glam punk sounds running a series of key skills workshops an oil slick! Remember that you’re not written statement of what the deposit up images of loud music, all night refreshingly different to your normal to help you gain the confidence and just going to be bumping into them on brand.Think Smashing Pumpkins with expertise to land yourself the job you your course any more you’ll be living ‘Small things, like not changing the very spiky hair and fishnet tops. But deserve. To book you can either visit the with them 24/7, which could take some toilet venues... before they were crap. King Adora truly CAS reception in building 3, on getting used to. Also, choose people with toilet roll, can cause world war three rock in a “lets dye our hair and go and Highfield Campus or phone on 023 similar life styles and interests; if you’re Honda break things sort of way”, and the 80593501. A £5 refundable deposit is a clean freak, don’t live with some one February Portsmouth Wedgewood Rooms April crowd loved it, although for the most required which is returned to you when who is quite willing to cultivate their own - be tolerant!’ 6 Remote Control, Miss part they were made up of young girls you attend the workshop (if you don’t form of penicillin on their crockery! 27 Big D and the Kid’s Table drinking sessions and general Miss Murdoch, Leonard 26 Barenaked Ladies with fairy wings and 8 year old’s with attend your £5 will be forfeited and used covers and when it will be returned. You Southampton Joiners Portsmouth Guildhall Slipknot T-shirts. Still, the classic for CAS resources). Book early as places 2. When looking for a house, be prepared should get an inventory list from your debauchery. You must, however, (featuring The Edge’s Lewis) “Smoulder” sounded just as fresh as are limited and for further details go to to ask lots of questions. You want to landlord so you know exactly what is in remember that your neighbours may not Southampton Joiners 5 Muse ever, and the new single “Suffocate” the CAS workshop at know as much about the house as the house (or what is not) when you like repeatedly listening to ‘California March 8 Levellers Southampton Guildhall serves up the promise of a www.careers.soton.ac.uk. possible before signing on the dotted line move in. Above all make sure that you Dreaming’ at full volume in the early Southampton Guildhall 6-8 All Tomorrow’s Parties phenomenally good album to come. But or else you could find yourself in for a maintain the house sufficiently during hours of the morning on your return from 1 Sanctum, Snub,Torna-K ‘Jesters!’ The Environmental Health 13 Terris 9 Gary Moore then it ended. No encore, and only half Key Skills Workshops few nasty surprises. Make sure you your tenancy other wise you won’t be Southampton Joiners an hour into the set the lights came know how much the rent is, what it getting all of you deposit back and lose Service is responsible for dealing with Portsmouth Wedgewood Rooms Portsmouth Guildhall 1 Al Stewart back on and we were ushered out by Presentation skills: Tuesday 27th Feb includes and how it is payable. Find out out on vital beer money! noisy neighbours and prosecution can 14 Divine Comedy 24 Gabrielle lead to anything up to a £2000 fine - I Southampton Brook over-zealous security guards, still gagging Time Management: Wednesday 28th Feb what type of tenancy agreement you will Southampton University Portsmouth Guildhall for more. Good while it lasted, but have and whether you will have a joint, 4. Make sure that the house is in good don’t think you want to be spending your 1 Goldfinger Negotiating Skills: Thursday 1st March 14 Sunna 20 Feeder you’ve got to worry that such a short Project Management:Tuesday 6th March or separate contracts. It is also condition. You could have a plumbing student loan on that! Portsmouth Wedgewood Rooms Southampton Joiners Portsmouth Pyramid Centre set hints at a definite lack of material. Assessment : Wednesday 7th March recommended that the agreement is crisis if you don’t check whether the taps 2 Four Letter Word, Mix Perhaps they’re working on the “play checked by SAIC or the Accommodation work, or if the toilet doesn’t flush - 15 Lowgold 24 Gabrielle Presentation Skills: Thursday 8th March Twitch,Turtlehead fast, die young” philosophy, but for a Interview Skills: Tuesday 13th March Office. You should try to negotiate a especially if you have an unfortunate Happy house hunting!! Portsmouth Wedgewood Rooms Portsmouth Guildhall Southampton Joiners headline band I expected a set just a Leadership: Wednesday 14th March reduced rent during the summer holidays. chundering episode! Check whether 20 Starsailor 25 Ash little longer than this. Having said that, If you pay a reduced rent (e.g. half rent) there are any signs of damp in the 3 Bob Patterson Teamwork Skills: Thursday 15th March Portsmouth Wedgewood Rooms Portsmouth Pyramid seeing King Adora is a truly amazing Commercial Awareness: Tuesday 20th you will be able to live in the house over property, which need to be seen to. Also Southampton Joiners 26 Napalm Death experience, and one I urge you all to March the holidays. However, if you pay a look for signs of infestations, for example 4 (Spunge) 22 Toploader participate in as soon as possible. nominal rent you will not have the right slugs or mice, other wise you could have Portsmouth Wedgewood Rooms Portsmouth Wedgewood Rooms Southampton Guildhall Lewis Packwood to live there, (but some cheeky people do some unwanted guests! The furniture 6 Big Sur, Drugstore, La try!) provided with the house should be in PAGE 20 WESSEX PAPER FEBRUARY.1 19/2/01 5:18 pm Page 32

THE EDGE PAGE 13

KING ADORA/CRACKOUT /EASYWORLD Portsmouth Wedgewood Rooms

PAGE 14 PAGE 15 HERE’S MAKE A ONE WE DIFFERENCE Freedom of choice and speech is taken committed a recognisable criminal for granted in our society. Inherent in offence, requesting the authorities allow the understanding of citizenship is the him contact with his family, a lawyer and belief that equality and acceptance are medical care: concepts we deserve and respect, on both a collective and individual level. It is President Vladimir Putin, MADE expected that governmental and non- His Excellencey Mr Yuir E. Fokine, governmental organisations and Rossiyskaya Federatsiya institutions alike will adhere to human Embassy of the Russian Federation, rights issues. But for others it is a distant g. Moskva, Kreml, unreachable dream. 13 Kensington Place Gardens, Prezidentu Rossiyskoy Federatsii, Imagine the fear, desperation and London, W8 4QX EARLIER loneliness of captives, unjustly Russian Federation. imprisoned without fair trial, probably Fax: 020 7727 8625. because of the colour of their skin, or the religion they were born into, or the Meet the new Blue Peter nationality of their parents, or because KISS IT GOODBYE they tried to fight for justice, peacefully. YOUR LETTER CAN SAVE presenter, Liz Barker, who also These peoples’ pleas against their unfair LIVES. PLEASE SPARE THE treatment are usually smothered by the TIME FOR THOSE WHO ARE WITH NO SMOKING DAY: just happens to be a injustice of politics and tradition and SUFFERING. power, or more directly by the brutality Southampton graduate, she and torture that is general practice in Here are a few tips for letter writing, 14TH MARCH 2001 many prisons. They need others to speak offered by Amnesty International: Want to stop smoking? gives her take on student life, for them, to regain their natural right of dignity and equality. * Identify yourself by referring to a Here’s some real help from No fan-mail and Richard Bacon’s, particular case Smoking Day to * Give the full name of the victim drug habit! Amnesty International, founded in 1961, * Make a specific request e.g. access Kiss it goodbye! works for equality and respect of human to legal advice / medical treatment rights issues worldwide, and has over one * When ending try to include a Stopping smoking takes planning, if you are ready to stop, here’s how to million members. Its focus for the past phrase that encourages a reply get started: Remember Blue Peter? It’s the generally larking around. Before long Liz Of course there was a certain BP Channel 4’s ‘Castaway’, offered her few months has been the ‘Stamp Out * Use ‘Yours Respectfully ‘or ‘Yours was doing sports reports and basically presenter, Richard Bacon, who didn’t some work experience. But for anybody Torture’ campaign, which protests one programme that anyone under the Sincerely’ X Name the day when you are going to stop grabbing the opportunity to learn masses quite see it this way. Richard (for anyone thinking about joining the thousands of against ill treatment and unjust human age of 40 grew up with and it’s still Use the days between then and now to plan about television broadcasting. It wasn’t who missed the headlines) was booted rights abuse. One of the cases in relation going strong, encouraging kids to Thank you so much for your time and X Ask your doctor or pharmacist if any of the proven drug long before her name appeared on the off the show after being caught taking to this campaign is outlined below. Please hassle parents for double-sided sticky concern. If you want further treatments could suit you. desk of the BP producers who whisked drugs and is now a presenter on the Big read, think, and respond. tape and bribing them with Blue Peter “Being a student information on Amnesty you can look X Find out if there is a stop-smoking clinic near you, and check her off for auditions. ‘A tape landed in Breakfast. ‘ To be honest we’re so busy badges! up their website: www.Amnesty.org, or out waht it offers their office with me on it and they tracked and so exhausted that whenever I do get Adam Abubakarov’s Story. One thing that has changed, however, is just wasn’t my for information on Southampton X Tell your friends and family you want to stop smoking - get their me down so I was just very fortunate and a day off I really just want to relax and the presenters. They have moved on Amnesty group, e-mail help too. really lucky’ says Liz modestly with none spend the evening in.’ So it doesn’t look Adam is sixteen. In October 1999 his from the rather mumsy style Valerie [email protected] or come to our X Keep a diary for a few days, noting when and where you smoke, of the showbiz panache you would like we’ll be seeing Liz splashed across cup of tea.” family fled to Inguestia from their home Singletons of the past to make way for meetings in the West Building and how you feel each time. expect from a celebrity. ‘It was really the tabloids. ‘ I don’t really know what in the Chechen capital, Grozny, to escape younger, better looking hosts who look Committee Room (up the stairs turn X Use the clues from your diary to spot the smoky situations in your just a case of being in the right place at happened to Richard but lets just say it wannabe presenters then be prepared for the Russian bombardment. In February more like your siblings than your parents. right) from 1-2 p.m. on a Tuesday. day - make a plan for each one. the right time’. hasn’t done his career any harm!’ a hard slog to the top. Liz was a runner Adam returned to Chechnya to help his Liz Barker is part of this new breed of Look out for more letter-writing X Plan some treats with the money you’ll save - one for the end of So how does it feel being recognised in Going back to before Liz had even and receptionist for two years before grandparents dig up their vegetable presenter. At a mere twenty-five she is appeals in Wessex Scene. you’re smoke-free day, week and month. the street and getting fan mail? Does she stepped into a TV studio, she spent three even getting behind the camera let alone garden to make an air-raid shelter Blue Peter’s (or BP if you’re up with the Thankyou. X Stock up on any products you are going to use, start the treatment enjoy it? ‘No, not really’ she laughs, then years at Southampton studying for a in front of it. ‘ You have to be prepared to underneath their home. On his way back lingo) latest addition and has now been at the right time and make sure you follow the instructions. quickly taking it back, ‘ it really depends philosophy degree, which she loved. ‘ I work from the bottom and have a general to Abubakarov he was detained by doing the show for eight months. By Lucy Snell X Keep a helpline number handy, and keep asking questions! on the situation, if you’re walking came out with a 2.2, but it was a hard interest in life and people not just want to Russian forces at an army checkpoint in through Sainsburys on a Sunday and you subject to do! I really enjoyed studying go into presenting to become famous. the Chechen town of Urus-Martan , on NHS Stop-Smoking Centres - these free services are opening all over “I don’t think haven’t had a wash then it can be a bit it and it was an excellent course with There are so many wannabe’s out there suspicion of being a Chechen fighter. The The UK. They have specially trained staff who can advise you on the embarrassing. You just have to good lecturers and lots of nice people.’ that it just won’t work.’ blisters on his hands from vegetable best way for you to stop. The national they’d give you remember to always be nice to people Unfortunately, however, she isn’t quite as Liz says she’s quite happy doing what digging were assumed to be blisters from helplines can tell you were to find and be prepared to give them your time, enthusiastic about just being a student she’s doing now and has no major plans handling weapons. From this point your nearest centre. which can be hard, but you have to keep here in sunny Southampton, she was no to carry on presenting after her stint at onwards it is assumed Adam was taken to the job if you in mind that you’re always on show.’ Jester’s Queen or Squeeze girl - in truth BP. ‘There’s nothing else I’d really want a filtration camp in Urus-Martan, and Internet Doing three live shows a week plus all University just wasn’t for her. ‘I didn’t to do, I’ll probably just go back to then taken to other detention centres in If you would like to chat to others were a party the rehearsals and recorded items can be really like it, it wasn’t my cup of tea, I working behind the scenes. You never the Russian Federation. Torture and ill- about stopping smoking, then an internet pretty tiring so when she does get a day think it was mainly the place. There was really know what’s going to happen in treatment are routine and systematic in site might help. Along with information about stopping, many sites offer animal” off Liz avoids the high life we associate lots going on but I didn’t really get life so you just have to enjoy each these places. chat rooms. See No Smoking Day’s website www.nosmokingday.org.uk with being on TV, preferring instead to involved an awful lot or go out and about moment.’ for some great links spend her spare time at home. ‘ My life very much.’ Please write to the addresses below, Before BP, Liz was happily working hasn’t changed very much, I don’t think Liz’s break really came just after By Katherine Bruce urging the release of Adam, if he has not behind the scenes on a programme called The University Health Service will be they’d give you the job if you were a bit University when a friend of hers, who ‘Backstage’ where, in a Big Breakfast displaying helpline numbers, Posters and leaflets on 14th March 2001 of party animal, they’d probably worry also just happened to be the head of style, the crew would often be found in that you wouldn’t be able to do it.’ production at Lion TV - the makers of front of the camera dressing up and WESSEX PAPER FEBRUARY.1 19/2/01 5:18 pm Page 34

PAGE 16 PAGE 17

Unlike it’s name suggests, ‘Trash’ was remarkable. Based Phantom round a building site, this show pushes the boundaries of the run of the mill musical with it’s unique use of dust-bins, drain pipes and tap-dancing making it a of the rhythmical masterpiece. The only words used were ‘Morph’ like grunts, which caused much hilarity as the different characters emerged from the long line of Opera gags and surprises. The ten dancers and PHOTOSOC DO IT percussionists entertained the audience with bin-bags full of dancing, humour PsychoSoc Social and a healthy dose of audience on Ice IN THE DARK! participation which had us all in fits of The Photographic Society has - London and Bath. Competitions every laughter at our own inability to even clap unofficially - more members than any term allow you to have your photos By George Ng our hands in time. Trash is neither a other non-sporting club in the university, criticized by a pro and possibly win some dance show nor a percussion show but and its list of members is still growing. I money for them (and drink lots of free rather a fusion of the two resulting in an suppose the main attraction is the wine!). Watch out for this summer’s exciting and fascinating performance prospect of developing your own Open Competition, which can be entered whose wild finale is possibly one of the negatives and printing your own, arty by members (who pay £10 to join for free best around. You can’t beat it, you have black and white prints (full training use of the darkroom) and non-members. to go and see it, if only for the inventive offered throughout the year). But the Email: [email protected] use of concrete mixers. Trash is on tour society also thrives on the social front, Web: www.soton.ac.uk/~photo at the moment. For venues go to the web- It’s amazing what you can do with bins! with regular trips around the country, Meet us: Darkroom (1st floor of West site at www.raw.co.uk TRASH! taking photos with other similarly- Building) on Tues and Thurs lunchtimes. minded people on daytrips to the Isle of Wight (coming up this term, March 3rd), Alex Doak

Fringe Benefits Yes it is as bad as it sounds! The skating itself was fantastic, the choreography amazing and the costumes I have a confession to make. our director, Phil Leamon, a stalwart of of your view of the stage. ... and that is beautiful but nothing could make up for When I offered to produce the Theatre Theatre Group in years gone by already not an uncommon occurrence at the terrible idea of putting a story about Group’s play at Edinburgh, I had had his heart set on a production of Ivan Edinburgh. With about 600 companies the opera on the ice. With the success of absolutely no idea what I was meant to Turgenev’s “A Month in the Country”. looking for venues, all sorts of places are the Andrew Lloyd Webber version this be doing. The closest I’d ever got to Personally, I thought Turgenev only “converted” into temporary theatres, show comes a poor second not helped by acting before was when I played the role wrote novels but, like I said, I don’t with varying degrees of success. Don’t the persistent (pre-recorded) panpipe of “second man on a bench”. In fact I really know about theatre. Given that get me wrong, the Fringe is definitely music played throughout. This said, PsychoSoc. Braved the rain and had its on, but the fact that they all made sense to don’t really know anything about theatre there are more than 1350 shows, worth a visit Many venues don’t support however, the male vocalist, David first event of the year last term, and what us at the time reveals that they were .... But I did know that the Edinburgh somehow one has to stand out from the their acts as well as they could ... eg: Lawrence, had an amazing voice and better way to start the ball rolling again effectively seving their purpose, and Fringe Festival is basically 3 weeks crowd. Fortunately, Phil had a cunning with basic facilities such as dressing carried the musical side of the show SAY PANTS TO than with a 70’s night? Worries that people were soon ready for Rhino’s when the city is invaded by the idea - the show would be performed rooms; venue hire is expensive and this without fault even though being people would be put off by the downpour (especially Tash, who informed me that performing arts, everyone from the wild outside, since most of the action takes is then reflected in high ticket prices; endlessly hampered by the female waned with each passing beer, and the she was reallly up for some action). What and wacky to the sensible and serious, place in a garden. attracting an audience (and the press) is vocalist, Kathy Dooley, who had a voice fact that the place started to fill up with happens when you mix tequilla, vodka, from those destined to win the Casting followed soon after the initial tough; it rains; accommodation is so full of vibrato that she must have been psychology undergrads. Wringing out and beer? A large circle of Dancing prestigious Perrier award to those who idea and, given the calibre and depth of hideously expensive ... in general, one gagging (the audience certainly were). our shirts dry (obscenely coloured, of Queens taking turns to do their thing in should stick to serving Perrier. .... And acting ability in Theatre Group, a strong could argue that the financial pressure These were the only two singers and POVERTY course: in strict accordance with 70’s the centre. There were a number of that had to be worth seeing. cast was picked. Gabriela Blandy took (which in some ways is a function of the were placed just in front of the stage but Theme-Night Rules), we encouraged as potential dance champions that night, Entering the Fringe is actually laughably the lead role of Natalya, Nick Odoni and sheer number of shows) is squeezing out unfortunately somebody had the bright much drinking as possible at Varsity from Martin’s Matrix impression (you easy - so long as you pay the entrance Tom Woodward supporting in the other the more innovative acts and the idea of dragging poor David Lawrence whilst chairs and tables were robbed had to be there, I’m afraid) to Jim and fee, you’re in - and hence the Fringe has main roles of Michael and Alexsei. If openness which built the Fringe’s onto the ice. He was pulled (and at times from the unaware until we had enough to Louisa’s Dance D’Amour. Longest arm the reputation of fostering new and you want to see the full cast list, it’s on: reputation. That said Edinburgh is a carried) around helplessly as if to prove form a large enough table. No one really award goes to Alex, however. (See innovative acts and just might be a www.soton.ac.uk/~theatre. The play lovely city and the spot where we to the audience (just in case we hadn’t understood the drinking games that went picture) launch pad to stardom ... or a show on itself is a classic from the middle of the performed in the Royal Botanic Garden guessed) that he was no ice-skater. As I BBC2 at least. It’s everything else after 19th century, all about bored thirty- was gorgeous. As for our play, it grew in said, the actual ice-skaters were fabulous entering that’s the tricky bit. Obviously somethings falling in love with people vivacity with each performance (and particularly Murugova who played you need to know what you want to do - they shouldn’t - a bit like Friends but post-show analysis session in the tequila Christine and who succeeded in wowing Comic Relief now funds nearly 800 projects in Africa and the UK. It’s which was simple in our case, because without the mindless optimism. bar) and I think that the audience the audience with her expertise. Also incredible how many people your money ends up helping. This year Having started appreciated this. One person told me that included was a flying sequence, on ropes why not get your club or Society to do something different from the preparations in this was the one show which she would suspended from the rafters, with acrobats usual pub crawls and balls and do something for charity- mate! February, the months remember from this year’s Fringe. swinging right over the front row that zipped by... our trial I’d like to thank all our sponsors, the was, admittedly, stunning. Comic Relief have come up with loads of ideas to get you started. Here’s just a few of run being three Students’ Union, the University’s I’m sure that there are lots of shows them. performances in the Botanic Garden and a whole heap of which work very well when performed University’s Botanic other people for supporting the play. And by ice-skaters but the Phantom of the * Red Day - Organize a day when you all get sponsored to dress in red for the day. Garden. At that point, I’d like to thank the cast and crew for Opera certainly isn’t one of them and I’m one was struck by what letting me be in their play. Fortunately pretty sure that Andrew Lloyd Webber * Lets face it, we all love a good pub crawl so why not make it a sponsored pub- a smart idea it was to they overlooked the fact that I don’t won’t be quaking in his boots just yet. crawl or a even a red nose party - whatever you decide. perform outdoors. The really know anything about theatre and The Phantom of the Opera on Ice is on play had a totally they are even letting me help to produce with tour but unless you’re an ice-skating * If you’re on a sports team then why not have a sponsered event. Basically look at different atmosphere, Theatre Group’s next big production - a fanatic I wouldn’t recommend it. your sport and think of ways of making it into a cash making phenomenon! and as an experience comedy double-bill of “Black Comedy” Trash and the Phantom of the what could be nicer by the highly-acclaimed Sir Peter Shaffer Opera on Ice were both seen at The people who get the comic relief cash really are the poorest and most needy in the Uk than lazing around on and “A Test of Character” by Pierre and africa. A huge variety of people support the cause so in turn comic relief supports a cushions watching the Marivaux, which will be on at the the Mayflower.For ticket details and future shows phone the RED NOSE DAY huge variety of projects but all you have to do is raise as much as you can and have a performance? Nuffield Theatre from 8th to 10th March. good laugh doing it! It certainly beats being Come along, it’ll be a laugh! ticket hotline on 023 80711811 perched on a hard seat, or check out the website at To register your events just go to www.comicrelief.com. and you can get copies of with a whopping great www.the-mayflower.com by Alun Thomas posters or sponsorship forms by phoning Comic Relief on 09068 102030 big pillar in the middle On March 16th WESSEX PAPER FEBRUARY.1 19/2/01 5:18 pm Page 36

PAGE 16 PAGE 17

PAGE 18 PAGE 19

GET SPACED OUT FOR FREE! SPACED is Channel Four’s award-winning,critically acclaimed situation comedy, written by and starring Simon Pegg and Jessica Stevenson and directed by Edgar Wright. Out for general release:19th Feb.

It is the story of two very different people, enthusiastic but directionless Daisy Steiner (Jessica Stevenson) and grumpy, broken hearted skateboarder, Tim Bisley (Simon Pegg). These two twenty-something’s pretend to be a professional couple in order to secure the tenancy of a North London flat. As the pair grow closer, the potent mix of their

If this is you, take a trip to Vice President Krystal Miller’s office, on the second level of the union building to collect your £20 prize. Free Tickets to Dublin friends, interests and ambitions leads them into a world more The International Student and much more. This year’s UK ISIC To enter, all you have to do is tell us: bizarre than childhood and a lifetime Identity Card (ISIC) discount package includes top names away from being grown up. has been such as UCI Cinemas, BSM, Timberland, 1. The name of one of James Joyce’s saving Sony Centres and Domino’s Pizza. In books So, there you have it, two quirky flat- money for addition, cardholders can benefit from 2. The name of the second city of the mates pretending to be a couple, living students commission free currency exchange, a Republic of Ireland together in a flat in London with some since 1968. 24-hr Helpline, and ISIConnect - the 3. The name of one of the main equally bizarre friends and a gender- The ISIC complete communications package for shopping streets in Dublin swapping dog - called Colin! SPACED offers students on the move. was recognised by both critics and students a Send your answers to Jo Fearnhead, viewers as being a superbly written, wide variety This month ISIC is offering 10 lucky Marketing & New Media Executive, hilarious sitcom. It was nominated for a of travel winners the chance to win tickets to the NUS Services Limited, Snape Road, Bafta, the Golden Rose of Montraux, the services and city of Dublin. Visit the other city that Macclesfield, Cheshire, SK10 2NZ. Creative Freedom Awards and won in its benefits, never sleeps and see the sights of this Alternatively, you can e-mail your category at the British Comedy Awards including up to fascinating cultural city. Dublin offers a answers to [email protected] . On 1999. 30% off whole host of attractions, including the your entry, please include the answers to To win a free copy of the first series of international Guinness Museum, the James Joyce the three questions, your name, address, Spaced simply answer this question: travel, and House, the Jameson’s Distillery, Trinity telephone number and E-mail address, What is the name of Daisy and Tim’s discounts at over 15,000 venues around College, and much more. The list is the name of your University or college, gender swapping dog? Send you’re the world, including 750 here in the UK. endless. Alternatively, relax with a drink and the name of the publication you are answers to [email protected]. The firs Students carrying the card can save in one of the many bars and pubs in reading. Closing date for entries is tfive to answer correctly will be the money on accommodation, travel, Temple Bar and simply soak up the March 16th. winners. entertainment, cultural venues, shops atmosphere of this incredible city. WESSEX PAPER FEBRUARY.1 19/2/01 5:18 pm Page 38

PAGE 18 PAGE 19

PAGE 20 PAGE 21 Oh Balls!! Basketballers hit Stumbling Block in Stunning Season All Washed Up Following their recent run of success, from the start fresher - Thorgane the Sharks have had a couple of Marques who scored twelve points in the hiccups on their way to local league quarter to help put the Sharks up for a bit Reps give their opinions on the Intra-Mural Wash Out victory. before Portsmouth came back to end the half 41-37 up. In the second half, things If an organisation like the FA can run 3-0 victory. Most players want to play The extreme weather, and the DSR’s the referees, who commit themselves The first was a match against started going a bit pete tong for the the premiership then how hard could football, not trudge down to Wide Lane lack of appropriate measures in every Sunday only to find that they are Bournemouth Storm, a university team of Sharks as Portsmouth started edging their it be for two guys to run four 11-a-side each week to leave with yet another response to it, has been a huge not needed. These guys agree to ref for ringers. Although Southampton were the lead forward and the Shark guards started intra-mural football leagues? default victory and no game played. We disruption to the intra-mural rugby the good of the game and because they more graceful team, Bournemouth’s being called for dodgy fouls. In the fourth We had twenty plus weeks and plenty of have so far had two teams turn up to less competition this year. want to help and I really feel for them clumsy looking side still managed to quarter, the sharks started to turn up their pitches. With first class facilities at Wide than two games, and both have been At the Christmas break we were in a when they are let down. power the ball to the hoop. It was a close defence but it was too late as they were Lane any premiership club would be removed from the league, though it is situation where by we had only had two game throughout until the fourth quarter already hanging on by a thread. The end jealous of and such a high level of unsurprising that the CSS quit after their weekends of games leaving a massive Justifiably, people are not happy about when the Storm had stretched to a lead of of the game came with little excitement enthusiasm we had to turn teams away, 19-1 humiliation in the first game. Who backlog of fixtures. Each Sunday I the whole situation having paid out for 10. In the dying minutes, the as the Portsmouth side won 87-71 after what could possibly go wrong...in fact, would want to turn up each week to lose would (and still do) get phone calls from sportcards etc for the sole reason of Southampton boys realised they needed Jimmy Karamitsos scored a total of 35 everything! You may have noticed as you by that much, even Bradford haven’t lost team reps, all very eager to play, and I playing rugby. There are ten teams to turn it on. With a minute to go, Chris points over the game! looked out of your windows that we’ve by that much this year...yet! What annoys have to tell them that the five minutes of registered in the competition all of whom Blunt (supported by Chris Glover) turned had one or two drops of rain fall this year me even more is when teams expect a re- rain that we had on Friday means that the have paid £25 entrance fee, £20 to train a up the defence forcing turnover after The next game that week was a double and you can guarantee that every arrangement of a game, when they email pitches were apparently ‘waterlogged’. referee and at least £16 per player for a turnover and bringing the score to within header BUSA match away again against Wednesday and Sunday I will look out me two days later, with some lame At this moment in time there have been sportcard. Ten teams, about 20 players 3 in 40 seconds. As time ran down, Portsmouth. The game was an important my window to be greeted with flooding excuse like their reserve goalkeeper just four weekends on which intra mural registered per team, that comes to a few Another turnover was forced, now with one as it defined the winner of the league more usually associated with stubbed his toe forcing the entire team to rugby has been played this season. Every thousand pounds. Where has this money the choice of a lay-up, leading to a loss of in BUSA as both sides stood undefeated Bangladesh. There have been twice as be unable to play! week I have had to re-arrange fixtures gone? Certainly not towards maintaining 1 or a three pointer to draw equal, The in the league. many cancelled weeks as playable ones meaning that it has become increasingly the facilities! choice was a three. The shot was taken Right from the beginning, the Sharks and unfortunately it is looking less and One might also expect teams comprised difficult for teams to keep track of when but to no avail. The shot rebounded off went out and played with plenty of heart less likely that the season will ever of university players to contain at least they have games and get players to I am not for one minute suggesting that the court. As Bournemouth had regained and hustle. Although there was not much finish; at least not until the fresher’s one literate player who could read and commit to being available on any the weather has not been bad this season. possession, they were fouled and scored a scoring, the Sharks were up on graduate in a couple of years time. comprehend a simple set of rules. The particular weekend. I run an intra mural The point is that there have been free throw! Final score 77-73. Portsmouth right up to the end of the most blatantly transgressed rule regards rugby team myself and I can vouch for weekends when games could and should quarter leading 12-11 by the whistle. The The one group of people I will defend the amount of university squad players the fact that it is difficult enough to have been played. This season I have The next game was against the PCVL second quarter was much of the same here are the Wide Lane groundsmen, allowed in a team. The rules state one can visited Wide Lane on many occasions Smugglers, a Portsmouth side coached with James Gething scoring 9 points over who are regularly blamed for the farce have two, because intra-mural football is before games to check out the state of the by Mick Byrne, ex-coach of England! the half. By halftime, The Sharks lead which the tournament is becoming. for all Uni. students, and in the interests pitches and most of the time have seen The contests between Sharks and had been stretched to 28-23; things were These men tirelessly try to sort the of fairness we don’t want the Uni. 1st XI nothing to suggest that they may be Smugglers have always been close but looking good for the Sharks. As the third pitches out every week, and by time are winning each match 30-0. Why I have to unplayable. On one occasion I spoke to never like this one. For the whole first quarter began, something went wrong probably more hydrophobic than me. ask, do some teams manage to get the the groundsman from King Edwards half, we were keeping neck and neck again. The Portsmouth side edged back to They’re in a no win situation, each week number 2 confused with the number 6? School (whose rugby pitches we also use) with the visiting team. Into the third a level score and then as if the Sharks wanting to leave it as late as possible The team in question, after protesting and he told me that he was allowing quarter, something went wrong, the were giving up, Portsmouth forced before cancellation, so as to try and get through snide emails, failed to turn up to games to go ahead that afternoon and had sharks started to make a couple of turnover after turnover and then the games on. Unfortunately every team a meeting with the DSR, and us no problem with us playing on one of his turnovers and before they knew it, the converted the steals to points helping wants to know about a month before if organisers and promptly left the league. pitches the following day. On the Sunday Smugglers had taken a ten point lead. them outscore the Sharks 24 points to 8 the games are on so they can get their morning I was told by the Wide Lane Entering the fourth quarter, the Sharks in the quarter leaving the Sharks down team together and then complains when There are a number of people who groundsmen that we couldn’t play, I knew they had to turn it up again. As the 47-36. Whatever happened at halftime WAR OF THE COURT the games are on because they only knew deserve praise heaped on them for the asked them what their reasoning for this Southampton team started working hard had not been reversed at the beginning of this an hour before kick-off. The work they’ve done as regards intra-mural was, given that the KES pitches were so again, the score slowly started to level the fourth as the Portsmouth continued to Firsts Show Extra Class in All-Uni Battle groundsmen are damned if they do and football this year. Mike Doswell has tried obviously playable and was told that out until about a minute before the end of force turnover and stop the Sharks from damned if they don’t and until the lottery his best to organise the Sunday morning there existed an ‘all sport or no sport’ Next Door: The game goes on regardless the game when we were neck and neck. scoring as they scored another 11 points As the end of term drew near, the the court started producing both on the gives the DSR a £10 million grant for an league, and lets be honest who can be policy. Basically we couldn’t play The smugglers main man - Alex Byrne before the Southampton side could put biggest derby of the year was upon defensive and the offensive ends of the extensive drainage system then they’re bothered to get up and play football on a because the footballers would get jealous, (Solent Stars teammate of Chris Blunt) the ball through the hole. It was like a the Basketball teams: The home court. By the end of the third quarter, destined to fight a losing battle. In fact at Sunday morning. Andrew Wood, my co- organise and ensure that you have as you can imagine I found this quite took control and scored a last bucket nightmare that had just got worse. Again clash of Southampton Uni. A vs. the firsts were up 60-40 and another win times matches have been played in such organiser, has probably sent out more players available let alone do so when ridiculous. I understand that this policy putting them up by 2. The Sharks made the visiting team managed to turn up the Southampton Uni. B. for the firsts was looking ominous. In boggy conditions as to risk trashing the emails than anyone else has in the entire each week you then turn around at 9.30 has since changed. every effort to equal this but slowly time defence and start bringing the score back the fourth quarter, the seconds could not pitches. At times this year we’ve seen university trying to sort out each and on a Sunday morning and say “sorry, you ran out leaving them on the end of but like before it was too late. The final After a weekend of banter at the mustle up much and ended up losing 89- premier league matches called off every teams problems and let them know could have gone home to see your The one lighter note in all of this is that another loss. Final score 81-83. whistle went with the score at 69-55 to Christmas pub-crawl, the seconds had 58. That’ll be the end of their banter for because of weather (see Newcastle v. about revised fixtures, cancellations etc. girlfriend after all, the game’s off, there’s the DSR have agreed to let me keep the Portsmouth. Oh well, at least Jimmy was everything the play for whilst the firsts a while!! Southampton last week), so it is So if the university email ever goes leaves on the lines!”. This has meant that rugby pitches for two weeks after Easter After the exams finished, the Sharks held to 16 points this time. For the rest of had everything to lose. From the start unsurprising that wide land cannot cope down, you know whom to blame. Finally on a couple of occasions when the which is a great help and does mean that, entered a week of Portsmouth the game - back to the practice court. of the game, both sides played solid with flooding of near biblical I’d like to thank the St. Johns ambulance pitches have been passed playable teams so long as there are no more competition. They first played and the scores were staying level. By proportions. first-aiders, who go down each week have had to pull out because of a lack of postponements, we should be able to Portsmouth on Sunday 4th February Come and support the Sharks and the rest half time, the firsts had edged forward come rain or shine (I wish) and sort out players, this leaves everyone finish the competition. Everyone is very 2001 in a local league match away. This of the club at the following home games: to a 38-26 lead despite huge 16 points The players themselves are placed in an all the snapped cruciate ligaments disillusioned, including the DSR. One grateful to the DSR for this. game was always going to be a tough one from the monstrous James Mason in awkward situation, I myself know how (bruised ankles) and broken legs team has dropped out because they as the Sharks had not been able to beat 22nd February @ 8pm against Itchen the first half. annoying it is to wait around all morning (studded shins) that we footballers cannot get players to commit anymore. I I could go on but I would be here all day. the Pompey team since September 1999. College. At the half time interval, the Red Bull to discover that a match is called off, but sustain. My final word of warning, if you have also had to re-arrange games on Basically, to sum up, the competition will In a brand new sports hall, the game girls turned up much to everyone’s there is no other way. It’s just as are thinking of taking over my role and weekends during January that fell right hopefully finish but the standard of it has started with a fairly strong Uni side and a 15th March @ 8pm against Bournemouth pleasure!! As the teams fuelled frustrating to find the matches on and no running intra mural 11-a-side next year, in the middle of exam period, whilst I slipped because players and referees have Portsmouth team which hadn’t seemed to Bears. both in Sports Hall, SU Building themselves with the teeth rotting opposition turning up, usually because it then don’t, just don’t - all I can say is it is would welcome the distraction of a game become extremely disillusioned. have changed in the last three years and energy provider, both teams prepared rained two days before and the whole a great way to fail your degree. of rugby myself, I fully understand the Hopefully we can really crack on with the with their National League inside threat Chris Glover. themselves for the second half. In the team has gone home for the weekend. reasoning of some teams who couldn’t season now and get some good games of Jimmy Karamitsos fighting fit, things second half, Mason played big again Teams not turning up has been a huge play during this time. As a final year rugby played to get everyone’s spirits up were not looking too good. The first along with former team captain James problem this year as well, increasing the Anton Osbourne - 11-a-side Rep student you could hardly risk breaking a bit! quarter was fairly close finishing with the Gething to attempt to keep their team back catalogue of fixtures or giving the your hand the day before an exam could Pompey side 21-16 up. The second in the game. Unfortunately for the team who did turn up an unsatisfactory you? On top of all of this of course is the Tim Firkins - Rugby Rep quarter saw some great shooting again seconds, all the first team players on frustration and inconvenience caused for WESSEX PAPER FEBRUARY.1 19/2/01 5:19 pm Page 40

PAGE 22 PAGE 23 Fit-Less Editor’s The Story So Far..... Corner Spot keep men’s hockey moving.

We are already a few months into the results from the club. The loss of eight top of the league. Progress in SESSA is Facilities 2000/2001 campaign and the men’s 1st XI regulars through graduation meant also good and I am delighted to report hockey club, by its high standards, has that the 1st’s would be up against it from that they overpowered the might of so far had a varied season depending the start. In addition, injuries to key Guildford College of Law to win 8-0 As someone who likes to keep fit, I and times I have been removed from the gym The Dark Side of Football on whom you talk to! players have meant the 1st XI has taken only last week. Never before have GCOL many others have had to endure an in mid-workout so a handful - and I do The AU time to get into top gear and have been beaten by a Wessex side and it now Two recent events in football have inconvenience that seriously impinges on mean a handful - of rowers can use the The club has strengthened its wealth of struggled in the top flight. However since puts the team in with an excellent chance any form of structured fitness rowing machines is ridiculous. The rest brought up all those feelings that I My question is simply: Why? Why talent by welcoming on board more than the winter break they have sorted out any of winning their SESSA division. So, programme, with the continued takeover of the machines, both cardio and try to push to the back of my mind can’t we rid English football of the twenty Freshers since the start of the problems and are yet to be beaten, more silverware is potentially on the of the gym by large teams and a lack of resistance, remain empty. Now if like when I talk about the sport I love. curse of the football hooligan? The President’s season, maintaining the clubs status as ensuring their place in the league for next cards and they may even find themselves further investment in high-demand me, you work until 6ish, have some Premiership may be the most one of the largest within the University. season. competing in the same league as the 3rd’s equipment. dinner and then want to work out; not so Firstly, the recent Liverpool V Roma financially lucrative in the world and As a result Wessex have once again been next season if results continue as they on Mon and Tues. The solution: open the UEFA Cup game has seen football stadiums might be getting bigger and able to field four teams, three of these However, on a brighter note, the 2nd’s are. Promotion for a successive season, The fitness facilities at the University are gym an hour earlier in the mornings for hooliganism raise its ugly head yet better, but no amount of money Column competing in BUSA, one in SESSA and are making up for this abnormal who knows!! well below par, especially considering its the rowers. If they are keen on training all taking part in various divisions of the performance from the 1st’s and are they will get up. Even a compromise for again, and saw at least seven seems to rid the sport of the tag that A great Athletic Union Administrator Hampshire Leagues. continuing to dominate. They are Every year the club aspires to go on tour the rowers not having two consecutive Liverpool fans stabbed in the has dogged it since the seventies. once told me that an Article or Speech currently enjoying success in both their and this summer Tour Secretary, Dan days booked would be preferable if you process. As someone who was in One day someone may come up with should be like a womans skirt; long The club is again very grateful to league and BUSA. I should at this point Brown has not let us down and is hoping are an athlete who has one day on, one Copenhagen for Arsenal’s UEFA the answer which permanently enough to cover the relevant parts, but Accenture who have continued to show add that some suspect umpiring has to lead us out to Barbados. The infamous day off training. Mr Cook said neither Cup final match against Galatassary removes that parasitic minority from short enough to keep you interested! So their support for the club by sponsoring unfortunately left them a few places Isle of Man tour has finally given way to idea would work. where there was so much trouble, it the game. I for one cannot wait for here I go... us. Last semester, Alan Evans (Associate lower in the league than they might shores afar and in June we head for the makes me feel sick to see it that day. Partner) and Lucinda Ekins (Graduate otherwise have been but since they have Banks International Hockey Festival. His Secondly (and this is mainly directed happening again. Everyone was so I hope the exams have all been good fun Recruiting) from Accenture were at five games in hand there is a strong plans are ever growing and it is an towards all you meatheads out there), I shocked and saddened by the deaths The second thing that has saddened for you people out there, I almost wish I Wellington Sports Ground to present club possibility of promotion. Some would exciting prospect. A fundraising 15 hour would like to see an improvement in the of two Leeds fans in Turkey early me is the situation regarding Lee had been doing them as well - not! captain, Matt Town with a cheque for argue this is a result of Hugh ‘borrowing’ ‘sportathon’ is due to take place in the free weights section. When I met with £2,200. Without this generous lower team members to strengthen his near future, which will include hockey, Mr Cook, nine months after a friend of last year, yet it doesn’t seem to Bowyer and Johnathan Woodgate. It This term has seen a few problems sponsorship the mens hockey club would squad! (Campbell, I’m doing my best to football, cricket and basketball matches. mine had met with him to suggest very prevent it happening again. The is bad enough that professional mostly involving the weatherman. It has simply not be able to continue, such are make excuses for you!) The 2nd’s have The triumphant team will set the ‘forfeit’ similar ideas, I got the familiar (and yes press often put the blame on the footballers might have sunk as low still been raining enough to cancel many the costs incurred through pitch hire and also put together a good run in BUSA and for the losing team, to be carried out on my friend got it too) nodding-dog foreign element involved, and indeed as they allegedly have in violently matches. Now there is such a backlog kit charges. Those of you not entirely up are likely to be entered into the plate the island. A ‘Caribbean’ night at Jesters impression. I suggested an extra, it seems it is often the English fans attacking a member of the public, but that teams have to fulfil their BUSA to date with the clubs goings on may be a competition. is also a possibility later on this semester adjustable incline bench, in-between that end up in hospital. Yet, if you it is even worse that they are still games whenever they can, be it at the little confused about the ‘new’ with all proceeds going towards the tour, weight dumbbells to make those hard-to- believe that the English are the playing football. I sincerely hope weekend or first thing on a Thursday sponsorship name. Although the name of Owing to last seasons success the 4th XI so any of your support would be very reach extra gains and finally music, as innocent party in this then you are there was no racist element involved, morning (unlikely due to it being the our sponsor has indeed changed they do is enjoying a fresh challenge in the Open much appreciated. We will let you know size. Consequently, you would think that this room has no atmosphere for training. extremely naïve. but regardless of that they should be morning after the night before etc.). in fact remain the same firm. You may League Division 1, following promotion when this is and look forward to seeing the University would grab any These improvements could all be banned from playing for Leeds until Once all these fixtures have been played, have been more familiar with seeing last year. They have carried their form you!! improvement that could be made at little undertaken for less than the price of a those teams who have qualified for the Andersen Consulting across Wessex through and are dominating astros afar Simon Mitchell or no cost with both hands. Not so, eh, new cycle machine and I was told they For some reason English football they are cleared. I utterly believe in next round will start the last 16 knockout shirts, but as of 01/01/01 they were and as a result are siting pretty around the Mr Cook (Fitness facility manager)? Not would be. Six months later and nothing. fans and violence seem to go hand in innocence until proved guilty, but stages. Isn’t it exciting!!! At least the rebranded as Accenture. This followed a that you cannot meet with this guy (you Oh sorry, a hole was drilled in the wall hand. Having seen some of the anyone else would lose their job weather is starting to look a bit more ruling in favour of Andersen Consulting can) and he listens and nods often. Very three months ago to install a speaker. ‘Arsenal fans’ (and I use that phrase immediately if they were linked with often. This is probably to prevent any promising. in its arbitration with Andersen Well, I still see the hole but no sign of a very hesitantly as these people are such charges, so why should Worldwide and Arthur Andersen. Under good suggestions from getting lodged speaker. I ask you Mr Cook: what is not real fans) violently attack Turks footballers be any different. Seeing Jesters, now that’s an interesting one. the terms of the ruling, Andersen between his ears. going on? Are you not passionate enough in Denmark it makes it very hard to Bowyer receive all the acclaim as he My previous column had stated that it Consulting was excused from any further to provide the best facilities possible in solely blame foreigners. Indeed it scored Leeds’ winner, when he had would no longer be happening - Wrong obligations to Andersen Worldwide and For the record, let me just say that the the limited space? If not resign, sit in my was Liverpool fans’ violence which earlier that day faced charges of (I admit it, I was wrong) lots of people Arthur Andersen, and given until increase in cardio equipment is car’s rear window and do what you do saw us banned from Europe 15 years GBH is not right. If he is utterly are still going to Jesters but the ticket December 31, 2000 to adopt a new name. welcomed. However, my first complaint best: nod!! is the rowing team. These guys have the ago, and hardly any Championship exonerated then fine, but until the system works a bit differently now (see Further information on the changes can gym booked for themselves from 8.30 to goes by without hearing how English case is over he or Woodgate should your social sec for more info.) To those be found at www.accenture.com. We are Jeff Pilot indebted to Accenture for all their help close every Monday and Tuesday night hooligans have disrupted what not be in a Leeds shirt. of you who wish to be part of a slightly for the sole purpose of screaming at each different following, let me know and we and support and hope that it may long otherwise seems a peaceful continue. other! Let me elaborate. The number of competition (think Euro 92, World Martin can sort something out. I am thinking of an Academy night for example. Cup 98 and Euro 2000). Now onto the hockey! As I previously I don’t really have a hell of a lot left to mentioned there have so far been mixed say and I don’t want to start boring you so take care, keep boozing and lovin’ life!! Rain Stopped Play Glover Continued from Back Page So it looks as if, although it may not be cannot play. Unfortunately we don’t live anyone’s fault, the entire winter outdoor in the Med, and rain is an accepted part PS. I forgot to mention the AU Ball - However, teams must turn up for their programme is destined to become a non- of our winter. We should be used to it by Licence to BOOZE. It will be an fixtures and we have to hope that it event. The problems that have been now, and should be able to make immense night out and tickets are selling doesn’t continue to rain!” experienced this year need to be allowances for it, including in the so don’t wait until we have sold out. If addressed to ensure that a further farce provision of sport. This year may be you go dining, you will be part of a table It seems that the main problem lies with does not occur in future years. consigned to farce but there is no need of your choice (sports club/ other club/ the drainage system at Wide Lane which Southampton is by no means a rain-free to let future years go the same way. House table etc). It will be bigger, better does not appear to be particularly city and on present form it seems likely and CHEAPER than the Monte ball!!! efficient. As Paul Cook, the facilities that more games will be postponed than Martin Ashplant manager states: “due to the saturated played unless the situation is sorted. state of the pitches any further rain will People pay money for sports-cards and flood the pitches making them unsafe for registration fees in order to play sport The Gym: Up to Standard? play.” and not to be continually told they WESSEX PAPER FEBRUARY.1 19/2/01 5:19 pm Page 42

PAGE 22 PAGE 23 Fit-Less Editor’s The Story So Far..... Corner Spot keep men’s hockey moving.

21st February - 14th March

WASH OUT ! Weather Leaves University Sport all Washed Up with Nowhere to Play

Martin Ashplant Reports: pitches could indeed be played upon. WIDE LANE. WEDNESDAY AFTERNOON Recent weather conditions, which As John, an 11-a-side footballer states: seem to be more appropriate to the “It seems that it only takes a bit of drizzle This is what it should look like: rainy season in the Tropics, have earlier in the week for all matches to be wrecked havoc on the University’s called off. Our team haven’t played a outdoor intra-mural programme. proper game since early November, and Cancellation after cancellation has left to be honest I don’t think we’ll play the rugby, football and hockey again. People can’t really be bothered competitions in a farcical state with it anymore, as the chances of getting a looking highly unlikely that any will decent game are remote. If the weather is come to any meaningful conclusion. ok, then the chances are either we or the Although the weather is something not opposition won’t be able to get a team quite under university control, there is a out. It’s a real shame because it’s feeling that more games should have normally such a good competition.” been played than have and that the Department of Sport and Recreation may Dr Bill Harris, Director of Sport and have been too hasty in calling some Recreation, states that he is “very matches off. worried about the effect that the severe weather is having on University sport”. The Sunday programme of 11-a-side Whilst more outdoor sport on grass has football and rugby seems to have been been played at Wellington Sports harder hit than most and many players Grounds than other local sports grounds, have begun to give up on playing again Dr Harris suggests that improved this season. In the Sunday afternoon drainage and the provision of a second football, only five days have been artificial pitch would help to alleviate the deemed playable since October. This has problem experienced, particularly with had an obvious effect on the value of the regard to Intra Mural sport. But this is what it does look like: tournament as there is no way that the complete programme will be finished on Margaret O’Connor (DSR Programme schedule. Even if a long period of Manager) writes that “we are struggling glorious sunshine occurs until Easter, to complete Intra Mural fixtures at Wide many teams will have great difficulty in Lane despite the hard work of the Intra persuading people to make the effort to Mural Reps who are rescheduling play when they have been disappointed fixtures weekly. Additional time has been so many times in the past. made available at the weekends, evenings and next term and this will The finger of blame has been pointed hopefully help solve the problem. towards the DSR in that it seems that it does not take much rain to cause a Continued on Page 23 blanket cancellation, a decision which is often left very late in the day. On one recent Wednesday afternoon the many pitches at Wide Lane were empty having yet again been deemed unsuitable to WHO’S TO BLAME? play, yet merely 50 yards away a school match was taking place on the adjacent Two Reps give their, King Edwards pitch. It seems to imply that either the school has better resources very different, verdicts and ground facilities than the University, which is highly unlikely, or that the on page 21 WHATS INSIDE Gym Bashing>>>The Sharks Slump>>>Football Hooliganism >>>AU Ball