‘I met Neil Armstrong once and thought I’d be cool and not ask him anything about the Moon landing! I regret that now’

definite of friends at Nobu in Malibu, then have dinner at Riva Italian restaurant in Barnes, south-west London. It’s the best restaurant in the world and I’d leave it to its owner Andrea to article choose the food. He never gives you a menu, he just asks, ‘Are you hungry?’ We ask a celebrity a set of devilishly We’d have a bottle of Sassicaia red probing questions – and only accept and I’d end the day with a pint of Guinness at the Maghera Inn in my THE definitive answer. This week it’s old hometown of Dundrum before crashing out in our house there. the turn of presenter Patrick Kielty The saddest time that shook your The prized possession you value above The priority activity if you were the world… The death of my dad. I was all others… A 1967 Jaguar 420 that Invisible Man for a day… I’d hear what told the news at school and it was so belonged to Saul Chaplin, a Hollywood Donald Trump says in private to find shocking. I think of him all the time. composer who won an Oscar for West out if he believes the The poem that touches your soul… Side Story. I love the car but it’s imprac- nonsense he’s putting in Digging by Seamus Heaney. He gives tical and my wife [TV presenter Cat the public arena. such meaning to the simple act of Deeley] keeps telling me to get rid of it. The unending quest that digging for potatoes. The biggest regret you wish you could drives you on… To write The happiest The temptation you wish you could The unfulfilled ambition that contin- amend… My dad never seeing me comedy ideas down. I moment you will resist… Pints of Guinness. I’m 45 now ues to haunt you… To hit the first ‘make it’. He died when I was 16 and used to think it was rude cherish forever… – an age when beer puts weight on. fairway at Royal . I I think he’d have got a real kick out of to scribble when I was out The birth of our only ever find sand or sea. seeing my life now. [Jack Kielty was The treasured item you lost and wish with people, but I have to son in January. I The philosophy that underpins your shot dead in 1988, aged 45, by a Loy- you could have again… The ability to make a note or I forget. couldn’t take life… Only you can make yourself alist gunman in .] get drunk without getting a hangover. The person who has influ- my eyes off him happy. Don’t wait for others to do it. The song that means most to you… The book that holds an everlasting enced you most… My old and there was Boulder To Birmingham by Emmylou The order of service at your funeral… resonance… The Groucho Letters by PE teacher Pat O’Hare. One this feeling of Harris. It’s about life continuing and is A simple service at a church in Dun- Groucho Marx are brilliantly witty. day he heard me doing impressions and love like I’d never felt before. one of the best love songs of all time. drum, followed by a burial in the The figure from history for whom you’d said he was putting me in the Christmas The pet hate that makes your hackles Irish Sea with an extended booze The way you would spend your fan- most like to buy a pie and a pint… Neil show. I’d never been on stage before but rise... How online retailers always cruise for the mourners. Armstrong. I met him about 15 years I got up in front of 600 people and at want a pat on the back with reviews tasy 24 hours, with no travel restric- The way you want to be remem- ago, but I thought I’d be really cool and that moment I knew I could perform. after you’ve bought something. tions... I’d begin with a walk in the canyon near our home in Beverly bered… As one of Jack Kielty’s sons. not ask him anything about the Moon The piece of wisdom you would pass The misapprehension about yourself Hills with Cat, our seven-month-old landing! I regret that, so on to a child… Lean on the leg that you wish you could erase… That I’m The Plug… Patrick hosts new quiz son and our dog Lilly. Then I’d play a this time I’d bombard shakes the most. My dad said that to always late! My timekeeping used to show Debatable starting at 6.30pm round at Royal County Down golf him with questions. me when I told him I was nervous be terrible but I sorted it out five years on Monday 22 August on BBC2. course with some old mates from Ire- n about that Christmas show. It was ago, and now I’m always on time. www.patrickkielty.com. land. Later, Cat and I would mooch Right: Neil Armstrong. his way of saying, ‘You’ll get As told to Rob McGibbon The event that altered the course of around Drouot auction Above right: Patrick through it, son.’ with his wife your life and character… Creating the rooms in Paris where we . Far The film you can watch time Empire Comedy Club in in sometimes buy old furni- right: Royal and time again… When 1992 with Jackie Hamilton. I was the ture. We’d have lunch at Au County Down We Were Kings, the superb compere and that’s when the BBC golf course Petit Riche restaurant: I’d documentary about the spotted me. Within a year I had my have Dover sole with roast Rumble in the Jungle fight own chat show in Northern Ireland. potatoes and some chilled between Muhammad Ali The crime you would commit knowing white Burgundy, then watch and George Foreman in you could get away with it… I’d recount County Down win the all- Zaire in 1974. You see Ali’s the vote for Brexit and announce it as Ireland Gaelic football vulnerability and the sense Remain. I’m sure no good can come final. Cat and I would have he’s not sure he’ll win. of us being out of the EU. cocktails with a bunch Next week PS... l Bake Off’s back! Paul and Kevin Spacey gets trapped inside the body of the family cat Mary tell all while last year’s in Nine Lives, in cinemas Friday. Dolly Parton’s new album winner Nadiya reveals what she’s been up to l The most r Pure And Simple is out on the same day. And Groundhog authentic Italian dishes you’ll : allsta s h ever make l PLUS Britain’s ap gr Day the musical opens at London’s Old Vic on Tuesday most detailed TV guide oto h p

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