Cybersex Consequences Take the PATHOS Test to See What Many times a cybersex problem Where You Stand is develops during an increased 1. Do you often find yourself preoccupied period of stress or life change in with sexual thoughts? [Preoccupied] Cybersex which someone decides to cross a 2. Do you hide some of your sexual behavior from others? [Ashamed] prior boundary and explore the Addiction? 3. Have you considered seeking help for world of online sex. The siren your sexual behavior? [Treatment] call of the is soon 4. Has anyone been hurt emotionally due is real and rationalized as a “manageable to your sexual choices? [Hurt others] can be distinguished from option” with common self-talk 5. Do you feel controlled by your sexual desire? [Out of control] random moral lapses or such as: 6. When you have sex, do you feel narcissistic, recreational 1) “no one cares” depressed afterwards? [Sad] hedonism. Sex addicts lead a 2) “it will help me relax” A positive response to just one symptom double life, often concealing would indicate a need for additional 3) “my actions won’t harm assessment. However, having two or their behaviors from others. others” more indicates the strong possibility of sexual addiction. 4) “it’s only online so it * Ten percent of adult internet users self-designate themselves as * The “Cyberhex” model and survey quotes doesn’t count” being cybersex addicts. Extending are from In the Shadows of the Net by The consequences of cybersex Carnes, Delmonico, & Griffin. beyond traditional , choices now play some part in cybersex encompasses the entire gamut of ways people choose to most divorces. But instead of Jeff VanZant, M A, LMHC, CSAT Hwy 99 & 168th St. Lynnwood, WA …and … be sexual with each other, including working their own “stop-being- 1611 116th Ave NE Ste. 133, Bellevue, WA erotic chat & online . bad” program cybersexers need to (206) 679-4 .. 3 … 2 … one … your With the average age of 1st cybersex suspend their dissociative coping countdown to recovery! exposure now at age 11, and 30% of and their misguided intimacy Call today for a free 15 minute phone porn site visitors now female, the and embrace healthy consultation or to set up a private internet has lured entire subgroups courtship and sobriety via counseling appointment that had once been assumed to be supportive relationships and Contact us: [email protected] or visit immune. However, … hope looms treatment. the web for additional brochures & resources large when someone seeks help.

Virtual sex is rapidly Why is the internet such “ ‘Everything is permissible for me’ - but spreading, advancing a powerful Svengali? not everything is beneficial. ‘Everything

* A recent survey determined that is permissible for me’ – but I wll not be * Popular authors on cybersex 6% of all internet users (20 million mastered by anything.“ I Cor 6:12 addiction have identified 6 “in- individuals) now suffer from roads” they’ve termed the compulsive cybersex use. No “Cyberhex” that trap users in a longer a one-way medium, the 6-sided, hexagonal mind prison: internet (combined with , 1) INTEGRAL - the “net” is Skype, and a variety of cutting-edge part of daily life devices and software) now 2) IMPOSING – we have facilitates a number of online, unlimited choices interactive sexual activities. Teen 3) ISOLATING – quick, private, phone “”, virtual “video disease - free sex booths”, -type virtual gaming What are the tell-tale signs? 4) INTERACTIVE - the illusion sex, podnography, and “CUseeMe” of community via real activities abound. As robotic sex Common syndromes include: time “pseudo-intimacy” manikins (“sexbots”) move ever 5) INEXPENSIVE – 24 hour closer to full production we now 1) Preoccupied with internet sex anonymous, no/low cost find ourselves in an era where chat, photos, and videos 2) Increasing duration, frequency of use people will use any and every 6) INTOXICATING– fuels fantasy technology to try to simulate 3) Inability to stop / decrease cybersex w/o rejection, gratifies human sexual experience. 4) Agitated without cybersex outlet w/o responsibility

5) Using cybersex to escape problems consequence, or responsibility Perhaps the biggest myth about 6) Seeking new or riskier experiences

is that it 7) Lying; concealing internet use

doesn’t hurt or effect anyone. 8) Illegal soliciting of people / materials Some think it might even help 9) Behavior jeopardizes job/relationship “spice up” their relationship. But with 68% of cybersex couples 10) Losses of time and finances

surveyed one or both had lost interest in normal sexual relations. *