JINGLING YOUR BELLS SINCE 1992 COVER ILLUSTRATION BY ROBERT MAESTAS VOLUME 24 | ISSUE 50 | DECEMBER 10-16, 2015 | FREE [2] WEEKLY ALIBI DECEMBER 10-16 , 2015 DECEMBER 10-16 , 2015 WEEKLY ALIBI [3] [4] WEEKLY ALIBI DECEMBER 10-16 , 2015 DECEMBER 10-16 , 2015 WEEKLY ALIBI [5] alibi VOLUME 24 | ISSUE 50 | DECEMBER 10-16 , 2015 EDITORIAL FILM EDITOR: Devin D. O’Leary (ext. 230) [email protected] MUSIC EDITOR : August March (ext. 245) [email protected] FOOD EDITOR/MANAGING EDITOR : Ty Bannerman(ext. 260) [email protected] CALENDARS EDITOR/COPY EDITOR: Renee Chavez (ext. 255) [email protected] STAFF WRITER: Maggie Grimason (ext. 239) [email protected] EDITORIAL INTERN : Megan Reneau [email protected] Cerridwen Stucky [email protected] CONTRIBUTING WRITERS: Cecil Adams, Sam Adams, Steven Robert Allen, Gustavo Arellano, Robin Babb, Rob Brezsny, Shawna Brown, Suzanne Buck, Eric Castillo, Mark Fischer, Ari LeVaux, Mark Lopez, August March, Genevieve Mueller, Geoffrey Plant, Benjamin Radford, Jeremy Shattuck, PRODUCTION ART DIRECTOR/PRODUCTION MANAGER : Archie Archuleta (ext. 240) [email protected] EDITORIAL DESIGNER Robert Maestas (ext.256) [email protected] ILLUSTRATOR/GRAPHIC DESIGNER : Tamara Sutton (ext.254) [email protected] STAFF PHOTOGRAPHER: Eric Willaims [email protected] CONTRIBUTING ARTISTS: Ben Adams, Eva Avenue, Cutty Bage, Max Cannon, Michael Ellis, Adam Hansen, Jodie Herrera, KAZ, Jack Larson, Tom Nayder, Ryan North SALES SALES DIRECTOR: Sarah Bonneau (ext. 235) [email protected] SENIOR DISPLAY ACCOUNT EXECUTIVE: John Hankison (ext. 265) [email protected] ACCOUNT EXECUTIVES: Kittie Blackwell (ext. 224) [email protected] Rudy Carrillo (ext. 245) [email protected] Valerie Hollingsworth (ext. 263) [email protected] Sally Jackson (ext. 264) [email protected] Dawn Lytle (ext. 258) [email protected] Tierna Unruh-Enos (ext. 248) [email protected] ADMINISTRATION CONTROLLER: Constance Moss (ext. 257) [email protected] ACCOUNTS RECEIVABLE : Courtney Foster (ext. 233) [email protected] FRONT DESK: Desiree Garcia (ext. 221) [email protected] Taylor Grabowsky (ext. 221) [email protected] EDITOR AND INTERIM PUBLISHER: Jesse Schulz (ext. 229) [email protected] SYSTEMS MANAGER: Kyle Silfer (ext. 242) [email protected] WEB MONKEY: John Millington (ext. 238) [email protected] OWNERS, PUBLISHERS EMERITI: Christopher Johnson, Daniel Scott and Carl Petersen CIRCULATION CIRCULATION MANAGER : Geoffrey Plant (ext. 252) [email protected] INFORMATION PRINTER: The Santa Fe New Mexican IN LOVING MEMORY: Doug Albin, Martin Candelaria, Michael Henningsen, Eric Johnson, Greg Medara, Mina Yamashita INTERNET SERVICE PROVIDER: Southwest Cyberport (232-7992) [email protected] NATIONAL ADVERTISING: VMG Advertising (888) 278-9866 www.vmgadvertising.com NUCITY PUBLICATIONS, INC. 413 Central NW, Albuquerque, New Mexico 87102 BUSINESS HOURS: 10AM–5PM MON–FRI PHONE: (505) 346-0660 FAX: (505) 256-9651 Alibi (ISSN 1088-0496) is published weekly 52 times per year. The content of this issue is Copyright © 2015 by NuCity Publications, Inc., and may not be reprinted in part or in whole without written consent of the publisher. All rights are reserved. One copy of each edition of Alibi is available free to county residents and visitors each week. Anyone caught removing papers in bulk will be prosecuted on theft charges to the fullest extent of the law. Yearly subscription $100, back issues are $3, Best of Burque is $5. Queries and manuscripts should include a self-addressed stamped envelope; Alibi assumes no responsibility for unsolicited material. Association of Alternative Newsmedia [6] WEEKLY ALIBI DECEMBER 10-16 , 2015 Letters should be sent with the writer’s name, address and daytime phone number via email to [email protected]. They can also be faxed to (505) 256-9651. Letters may be edited for length and clarity, and may be published in any medium; we regret that owing to the volume of correspondence we cannot reply to every letter. Word count limit for letters is 300 words. No probation for Duran Dear Alibi , Convicted felon and ex-Secretary of State Dianna Duran is asking to be spared prison time. She seems to be under the impression that her long career in elected office deserves probation. Her argument for probation is, in actuality, the best argument for prison time. She not only violated the law, but also the public trust. She can rebuild public trust by serving time—trust in the judicial system. Jeffrey Paul Author, “Inside Politics in America: A View from the Outside” Hooray for Maggie! Dear Alibi , As a writer who enjoys good writers and an eater who loves fresh food, I appreciated Maggie Grimason’s review of Vital Foods. (Unfortunately, I rarely eat out—I’m a teacher for Pete’s sake and I can’t afford to—though I still love restaurant reviews.) Maggie’s writing was clear and smart, genuine and warm. Ty Bannerman comes across similarly, though he obviously has his distinct voice. I look forward to future reviews by both of ‘em. Thanks for all you do, Kim Adonna Looking for books Dear Alibi , I heard from the New Mexico Book Co-op that no locally written books made your recent Gift Guide. As a local author and strong supporter of all my fellow Albuquerque and New Mexico authors, I urge you to join in to support at least a few of the many excellent local writers. Being a local paper, I would expect you to be particularly supportive of our authors. Please consider us in your next Gift Guide. RJ Mirabal Southwest Fantasy author rjmirabal.wordpress.com/ Ty Bannerman responds RJ, You’ll be pleased to see that this issue features a selection of locally authored books in our “Last Minute Gift Guide,” starting on page 19. Thanks for reading! a Submit your letters to [email protected] DECEMBER 10-16 , 2015 WEEKLY ALIBI [7] was made of real human bones. Students and faculty at Haydock High School held a burial ODDS service after “Arthur,” the class skeleton, was determined to be real as opposed to plastic. Arthur spent more than 50 year shuttling D between the science and art departments at N ENDS Haydock before ending up in storage. “Arthur A meant a lot to us in an educational way,” one student told the Liverpool Echo . “Even though WEIRD NEWS he was in the corner, he still helped me Dateline: Turkey learn.” Sandra Morris, a youth pastor for of The latest twist in the bizarre case of a man Christ Church United RC, said the ceremony accused of insulting the Turkish president via was done in traditional Christian fashion due an online meme now finds a “committee of to the religious affiliation of the school. The experts” being assembled to assess whether ceremony also “gave note to” traditional the fictional character of Golem in The Lord Hindu practices, as the skeleton most like of the Rings is good or bad. Bilgin Ciftci, a came from India. “We wanted to recognize physician living in Aydin, faces up to two that, in both religions, the soul moves on and years in prison for allegedly insulting the body is an empty vessel although his spirit President Recep Tayyip Erdogan by will have left a long time ago,” Morris said. juxtaposing pictures of the politician and Gollum on social media. Ciftci has already Dateline: California been expelled from the Public Health A would-be house burglar who got stuck in a Institution of Turkey for sharing the pictures. chimney for nearly a day died after the Cifitci’s lawyer, Hicran Danisman, told the residents lit a fire in their fireplace. A Associated Press late last month she was spokesperson for the Fresno County Sheriff’s forced to argue in court that “Gollum is not a Office said the county coroner had identified bad character” because she got “nowhere” the burglar as 19-year-old Cody Caldwell. defending her client based on freedom of The cause of death was smoke inhalation and expression. Danisman said her new argument thermal burns. According to The Fresno Bee , has prompted the judge to rule that a the sheriff’s department received a 911 call committee—including two academics, two just before 3pm on Saturday, Nov. 28. The behavioral scientists or psychologists and a male homeowner told deputies he heard television and cinema expert—should now screams coming from inside the house after provide an assessment of Gollum’s character. lighting a fire. Smoke then began to fill up The trial is scheduled to resume on Feb. 23. the residence. Once the homeowner realized someone was actually stuck inside the Dateline: Australia chimney, he extinguished the fire. Deputies Police in a small, harborside suburb of Sydney and firefighters had to dismantle the chimney responding to a report of domestic violence to free Caldwell. He was pronounced dead at pressed an evasive perpetrator for answers and the scene. Investigators believe Caldwell eventually turned up a victim—in the form of attempted to break into the home on the a dead spider. The Harbourside Local Area night of Nov. 27 and remained stuck inside Command in New South Wales posted a the chimney all day. transcript of the conversation that took place after officers confronted a “flushed” and “out Dateline: Pennsylvania of breath” suspect at an apartment in Environmental officials are at a loss to Wollstonecraft. Sometime before 2am on explain why the town of New Castle smells Saturday, Nov. 21, neighbors reported sounds like cat pee. The New Castle News says it’s of a man shouting, “I’m going to kill you” and been a year since residents reported a a “woman screaming hysterically.” After “noxious, cat urine-like odor.” But a recently responding police asked the whereabouts of released State Department of Environmental his wife, the homeowner said he didn’t have Protection report has come back as one.