Including Venture S~ienee Fi~tion

Automatic Tiger KIT REED 4 Sacheverell AVRAM DAVIDSON 17 Survival of the Fittest JACK SHARKEY 23 The Prodigals (verse) JEAN BRIDGE 31 Scien~e: Forget It! ISAAC ASIMOV 32 Lord Arthur Savile's Crime ( not~elet) OSCAR WILDE 42 Pure Water From Salt THEODORE L. THOMAS 70 Incident in the IND HARRY HARRISON 72 Books A VRAM DAVIDSON 79 Humanoid Sacrifice ( nOtJelet) J. T. MCINTOSH 84 The Conventional Approach ROBERT BLOCH 105 The Lost Leonardo J. G._ BALLARD 112 F&SF MMketpla~e 129

COtler by Mel Hunter

Joseph W. Ferman, PUBLISHER Avram Davidson, EXECUTIVE EDITOR

]saac Asimov, SCIENCE EDITOR Edtvard L. Ferman, MANAGING EDITOR

Ted White, ASSISTANT EDITOR

The MagaziKe of Fanta.r:y and Science Ficlion, Volwme 26, No. ], Whole No. 154, Mar. 1964. Pwblished monthly by Mercwry Press, Inc., at 40~ a copy. Annual subscription $4.50; $5.00 in Canada and the Pan American Union; $5.50 '"all other countries. Publi· catioN office, 10 Ferry Street, Concord, N. H. Editorial and general mail slrortld be sent to 347 East 5Jrd St., New York 22, N.Y. Serond Class postage paid at Concord, N.H. Printed i11 U. S. A. © 1964 by Mercury Press, Inc. All nghts, including translations into other lang11ages, reserved. Submissio11s must be accompanied by stamped, self-addressed. ellt!elopes ,· the Publisher ass11mes "" ruponsibility for return of tcnsolicited manuscripts. Kit ( Mrs.]oseph) Reed i8 the author of the soon to be published novel, AT WAR WITH CHILDREN (Fa"ar Straus). Her first novel, MOTHER ISN'T DEAD SHES ONLY SLEEPING (Houghton M itfl.in), somewhat parallels her first F&SF story, THE WAIT ( April1958), which surprised and delighted our· many my­ riads of readers with its description of a good young girl and her hypochondriac mother caught up in the curious ways and sexual mores of a small town which was definitely not Middletown, Connecticut. Young Mrs. Reed has been a newspaper reporter (she was once voted New England Newspaperwoman of the Year) and navy wife; she is still a wife, and the mother of two little boys. She is, moreover, like Rosel George Brown and Shirley Jackson, a faculty wife; unlike either of them she is the wife of Joseph Reed, English Department, Wesleyan University. Her interests, she says, are house-wifery and people-watching; and she now makes her home in Middletown, Connecticut. The quality of Kit Reed's first story was sustained in her subsequent ones as it is in this most recent one. Widespread as the cult of the lion is, the lure of the tiger exceecls it in intensity. Or, so many people consider. It was a Tyger, for example, that Blake saw "burning bright I In the forests of the night"-not a Lyon. It was Shir Khan, a tiger-lord, against whom Kipling's Mowgli pitted his man­ cunning. India, in fact, is the only place where lions and tigers are found together-and the tigers are gradually gaining sole sway of the turf. Nor must we forget Hilaire Belloc (in this connection at least; in others, we would be glad to); he "had an aunt in Y uca­ tan I who bought a tiger from a man. She has it yet." Kit Reed's Benedict also bought a tiger from a man-perhaps with some gaudy notion of using it for Mr. Belloc's proposed purpose (popula­ tion control, vis-a-vis small children)-but it burned too fiercely in the forests of his own personal night . . . AUTOMATIC TIGER by Kit Reed

HE GOT THE TOY FOR HIS SECOND Pride, the box commanded~ Ed­ cousin Randolph, a knobby-kneed ward Benedict, removed from toys boy so rich he was still in short more by income than by inclina­ trousers at thirteen. Born poor, tion, had no idea that the tiger cost Benedict had no hope of inherit­ ten times as much as any of its ing his Uncle James's money but mechanical counterparts. Had he he spent too much for the toy any­ known, he probably wouldn't-have way. He had shriveled under his cared. It would impress the boy, uncle's watery diamond eyes on and something about the baleful two other weekend visits, shrink­ eyes on the box attracted him. It ing in oppressive, dark-paneled cost him a month's salary and rooms, and he wasn!t going back seemed cheap at the price. After to Syosset unarmed. The expensive all, he told himself, it had real fur. gift for Randolph, the old man's He wanted more than anything grandson, should assure him at to open the box and touch the fur least some measure of respect. But but the clerk was watching him there was more to it than that. He icily so he fell back and let the had felt. a strange, almost feted man attack it with brown paper feeling growing in him from the and twine. The clerk pushed the moment he first spotted the box, box into his arms before he could solitary and proud, in the dim ask to have it delivered and he window of a toy store not far from took it without question, because the river. he hated scenes. He thought about It came in a medium-sized box the tiger all the way home on the with an Qrange-and-black illustra­ bus. Like any man with a toy, he tion and the words ROYAL BEN­ knew he wouldn't be able to resist GAL TIGER in orange lettering opening it to try it out. across the top. According to the His hands were trembling as he description on the package, it re­ set it in a comer of his living room. sponded to commands which the "Just to see if it works," he mut­ child barked into a small micro­ tered. 'Then I'll wrap it for Ran­ phone. Benedict had seen robots dolph." He removed the brown and monsters something like it on paper and turned the box so the television that year. Own It With picture of the tiger was on top. 5 6 FANTASY AND SCIENCE FIC1'10X Not wanting to rush things, he of stiff nylon filament. It stood fixed his dinner and ate it facing motionless in an aura of jungle­ the box. After he bad cleared the bottom and power, waiting for him table he sat at a distance, studying to find the microphone and issue the tiger. As shadows gathered in a command. An independent the room something about the mechanism inside it lashed the drawing seemed to compel him, to long, gold-and-black striped tail. It draw him to the verge of some­ filled half the room. thing important and hold him Awed, Benedict retreated to his there, suspended, and he couldn't couch and sat watching the tiger. help feeling that he and this tiger Shadows deepened and soon the were something more than man only light in the room came from and toy, gift and giver, and as the the creature's fierce amber eyes. It pictured tiger regarded him its stood rooted in the corner of the look grew more and more impera­ room, tail lashing, looking at him tive, so that he got up finally and yellowly. As he watched it his went over to the box and cut the hands worked on the couch, flex­ string. ing and relaxing, and he thought As the sides fell away he of himself on the couch, the mi­ dropped his hands, disappointed cronhone that would conduct his at first by the empty-looking heap ord~rs, the tiger in the corner of fur. The fur had a ruggy look waiting, the leashed potential that and for a minute he wondered if charged the room. He moved ever the packers at the factory had so slightly and his foot collided made a mistake. Then, as he poked with something on the floor. He it with his toe he heard a click and picked it up and inspected it. It was the steel frame inside the fur the microphone. Still he sat, sprang into place and he fell back, watching the gorgeous beast in the breathless, as the creature took light cast '!>y its own golden eyes. shape. At last, in the dead stillness of late It was a full-sized tiger, made night or early morning, strangely from a real tiger-skin skillfully fit­ happy, he brought the microphone ted to a superstructure of tempered to his lips and breathed into it metal so carefullv made that the tremulously. beast looked no l~ss real than the The tiger stirred. steely-limbed animals Benedict Slowly, Edward Benedict got to had seen at the city zoo. Its eyes his .feet. Then, calling on all his were of amber, ingeniously lit resources, he brought his voice in­ from behind by small electric to his throat. bulbs, and Benedict noted hysteri­ "Heel," he said. cally that its whiskers were made And hugely, magnificently, the AUTOMATIC TIGER 7 tiger moved into place. a horse in slow motion, moving "Sit," he said, leaning shakily restlessly at Benedict's heels. He against the door, not quite ready to looked at it and in a rush of sor­ believe. row realized that a part of it still The tiger sat. Even sitting it belonged to the jungle, that it had was as tall as he, and even now, in been in its box too long and it repose, .with glossy fur lying smooth wanted to run. and soft against the body, every "Go ahead," he said congestedly, line spoke of the coiled steel with­ half-convinced he would never see in. it again. He breathed into the micro­ With a bound the cat was off, phone again, marveling as the ti­ running so fast that it came upon ger lifted one paw. It held the paw the park's small artificial lake be­ to its chest, looking at him, and it fore it realized it, spanned the wa­ was so immense, so strong, so re­ ter in a tremendous leap and dis­ sponsive that Benedict, in a burst appeared into the bushes at the of confidence, said, "Let's go for a far side. walk" and opened the door. Avoid­ Alone, Benedict slumped on a ing the elevator he opened the fire bench, fingering the flat metal mi­ door at the end of the corridor and crophone. It was useless now, he started down the stairs, exulting as was sure. He thought about the the tiger followed him silently, coming weekend, when he would flowing like water over the dingy have to appear at his uncle's door steps. empty-handed ("I had a toy for "Shhhhhh." Benedict paused at Randolph, Uncle James, but it got the door to the street and behind away ...."), about the money he him the tiger stopped. He peered had wasted (then, reflecting on out. The street was so still, so un­ the tiger, the moments they had real that he knew it must be three spent together in his apartment, or four in the morning. "Follow the vitality that had surged in the me," he whispered to the tiger, room just once for a change, he and stepped out into the darkness. knew the money hadn't been wast­ They walked the dark sides of the ed). The tiger ... Already burn­ streets, with the tiger ranging be-. ing to see it again, he picked up hind Benedict, disappearing into the microphone. Why should it the shadows when it looked as if a come back when it was free again, car might pass too close. Finally and it had the whole park, the they came to the park, and once. whole world to roam? Even now, they had traveled a few yards despairing, he couldn't keep him­ down one of the asphalt paths the self from whispering the com­ tiger began to stretch its legs like mand. PANTASY AND SCIENCE FICTION "Come back," he said fervently. corner, the tiger lay as he had left "Come back." And then, "Please." him, inert now, but still mysteri­ For a few seconds, there was ously alive, eyes glowing, tail nothing. Benedict strained at the lashing from time to time. darkness, trying to catch some rus­ "Hi," Beneclict said softh·. "Hi, tle, some faint sound, but there Ben," he said, and then gri~ned as was nothing until the great shadow the tiger raised his head and was almost upon him, clearing the looked at him. He had been think­ bench across the way in a low, flat ing about how to get the tiger leap and stopping, huge and silent, packed and ready to go, but as the at his feet. ·great head lifted and the amber Benedict's voice shook. "You eyes glowed at him Benedict knew came back," he said, touched. he would have to get something And the_ Royal Bengal Tiger, else for Randolph. This was his eyes glowing amber, white ruff tiger. Moving proudly in the am­ gleaming in the pale light, put one ber light, he began getting ready paw on his knee. for his trip, throwing clean shirts ''You came," Benedict said, and and drawers into a suitcase, wrap­ after a long pause he put a tenta­ ping his toothbrush and razor in tive hand on the tiger's head. "I toilet paper and slipping them in­ guess we'd better go home," he to the shoe pockets. muttered, noticing now that it "I have to go away, Ben," he was beginning to get light. "Come said when he was finished. "Wait, on-" he caught his breath at the and I'll be back Sunday night." familiarity "-Ben." The tiger watched him intently, And he statted for his rooms, al­ face framed by a silvery ruff. Ben­ most running, rejoicing as the ti­ edict imagined he had hurt Ben~s ger sprang behind him in long, feelings. "Tell you what, Ben," he silken leaps. said to make him feel better, "I'll 'We must sleep now," he said to take the microphone, and if I need the tiger when they reached the you I'll give you a call. Here's what apartment. Then, when he had you do. First you go to Manhat­ Ben settled properly, curled nose to tan and take the Triboro Bridge tail in a corner, he dialled his of­ " fice and called in sick. Exhilarated, The microphone fit flatly exhausted, he flung himself on the against his breast, and for reasons couch, not caring for once that his Benedict could not understand it shoes were on the furniture, and changed his whole aspect. slept. "\Vho needs a toy for Ran­ When he woke it was almost dolph?" He was already rehearsing time to leave for Syosset. In the several brave speeches he would AUTOMATIC TIGER 9 make to Uncle James. "I have a Almost before his apartment tiger at home." door closed behind him he had tak­ On the train, he beat out sev­ en out the microphone. He called eral people for a seat next to the the tiger to his feet and embraced window. Later, instead of taking a the massive head. Then he stepped bus or cab to his uncle's place, he back. The tiger seemed bigger, found himself calling and asking glossier somehow, and every hair that someone be sent to pick him vibrated with a life of its own. up at the station. Ben's ruff was like snow. Benedict In his uncle's dark-paneled had begun to change too, and he study, he shook hands so briskly spent a long, reflective moment in that he startled the old man. Ran­ front of the mirr:or, studying hair dolph, knees roughened and burn­ that seemed to crackle with life, a ing pin.kly, stood belligerently at jaw that jutted ever so slightly one elbow. now. "I suppose you didn't bring me Later, when it was safe to go anything," he said, chin out. out, they went to the park. Bene­ For a split second, Benedict fal­ dict sat on a bench and watched tered. Then the extra weight of the his tiger run, delighting in the crea­ microphone in his pocket remind­ ture's springy grace. Ben's forays ed him. "I have a tiger at home," were shorter this time, and he kept he murmured. returning to the bench to rest his "Huh? Wuzzat?" Randolph chin on Benedict's knee. jabbed him in the ribs. "Come on, In the first glimmer of the morn­ let's have it." ing Ben raced away once more, With a subvocal growl, Bene­ taking the ground in flat, racing dict cuffed him on the ear. bounds. He veered suddenly and Randolph was the picture of re­ headed for the lake in full knowl­ spect from then on. It had been edge that it was there, a shadowed simple enough-Benedict just str~k. clearing the water in a leap hadn't thought of it before. that made Benedict come to his Just before he left that Sunday feet with a shout of joy. night, his Uncle James pressed a "Ben!" sheaf of debentures into his hand. The tiger made a second splen­ ''You're a fine young man, Ed­ did leap and came back to him. ward," the old man said, shaking When Ben touched his master's his head as if he still couldn't be­ knee this time Benedict threw lieve it. "Fine young man." away his coat, yelling, and wheeled Benedict grinned broadly. and ran with him. Benedict sprin­ "Goodbye, Uncle James." I have a ted beside the tiger, careering tiger at home. down flat walks, drinking in the 10 FANTASY AND SCIJ!NCJI FICTIOX night. They were coursing down He woke well after noon, the last straight walk to the gate alarmed at first bcause he was when a slight, feminine figure ap­ four hours late for work. Then he peared suddenly in the path in caught the tiger's eye and laughed. front of them, hands outflung in I have a tiger. He stretched lux­ fear, and as they slowed she uriously, yawning, and ate a slow turned to run and threw some­ breakfast and took his time about thing all in the same motion, getting dressed. He found the de­ mouth open in a scream that bentures his uncle had given him couldn't find voice. Something on the dresser, figured them up and squashy hit Ben on the nose, and found they would realize a sizea­ he shook his head and backed off. ble sum. Benedict picked it up. It was a For some days he was content pocketbook. to be lazy, spending afternoons in "Hey, you forgot your • . ." He movies and evenings in restaurants started after her, but as he re­ and bars, and twice he even went membered he'd have to explain the to the track. The rest of the time he tiger, his voice trailed off and he sat and watched the tiger. As the stopped, shoulders drooping help­ days passed he went to better and lessly, until Ben nudged him. "Hey, better restaurants, surprised to find Ben," he said, wondering. 'We that headwaiters bowed deferen­ scared her." tially and fashionable women He straightened his shoulders, watched him with interest-all, he grinning. "How about that." Then, was sure, because he had a tiger with a new bravado he opened the at home. There came a day when purse, counted out several bills. he was tired of commanding wait­ "We'll make it look like a robbery. ers alone, restless in his new u­ Then the cops'll never believe her surance, compelled to find out how story about a tiger."'He placed the far it would take him. He had spent purse out in the open, where she the last of the proceeds from the de­ would see it, and then absently bentures and (with a guilty pocketed the bills, making a mental twinge) the money he'd taken note to pay the woman back some from the woman in the park. He day. "Come Ben," he said softly, began reading the business section "Let's go home." of The Times with purpose, and Spent, Benedict slept the morn­ one day he copied down an ad­ ing through, head resting on the dress and picked up the micro­ tiger's silken shoulder. Ben kept phone. watch, amber eyes unblinking, the 'Wish me luck, Ben," he whD­ whipping of his tail the only JDO­ pered, and went out. tion in the silent room. He was back an hour later, still AUTOMATIC TIGEll 11 shaking his head, bemused. "Ben, gest deal. His employer had sent you should have seen me. He'd him to lunch with Quincy, their never even heard of me-but he biggest customer, with instructions begged me to take the job-I had to sell him sixteen gross. him cornered-I was a tiger-" he "Quincy," Benedict said, "You flushed modestly "-meet the sec­ need twenty gross." They were sit­ ond vice president of the Petti· ting against a tiger-striped ban­ grew Works." quette in an expensive restaurant. The tiger's eyes flickered and Quincy, a huge, choleric man grew bright. would have terrified him a month That Friday, Benedict brought before. home his first paycheck, and early "You've got your nerve," Quincy the next morning it was Benedict blustered. "What makes you think who led the way to the park. He I want twenty gross?" ran with the tiger until his eyes ". , ." For a second Benedict were swimming from the wind, retreated. Then the tiger striping and he ran with the tiger the next touched a chord in him and he morning and every morning after snapped forward. "Of course you that, and as they ran he grew in don't want twenty gross," he rum­ assurance. "I have a tiger at home,,. bled. "You need them." he would tell himself in time of cri­ Quincy brought thirty gross. sis, and then he would forge on to Benedict was promoted to general the next thing. He carried the mi­ manager. crophone like a talisman, secure in New title resting lightly on his the knowledge that he could whis­ shoulders, he gave himself the rest per in it at any time, and call the of the afternoon off. He was tiger to his side. He was named springing toward the door on cat a first vice president in a matter feet when he was interrupted in of days. midflight by an unexpected silky Even as his career progressed sound. "Well, Madeline," he said. and he became a busy, important The secretary, dark, silk­ man, he never forgot the morning skinned, unapproa£hable until run. There were times when he now, had come up beside him. She would excuse himself from a party seemed to be trying to tell him in a crowded night club to take his something-something inviting. tiger ranging in the park, sprinting On impulse, he said, "You're beside him in his tuxedo, boiled coming to dinner with me tonight, shirt-front gleaming in the dark. Madeline." Even as he became bolder, more Her voice was like velvet. '"I powerful, he remained faithful. have a date, Eddy- my rich un­ Until the day he made his big- cle from Cambridge il ill town." 12 FANTASY AND SCIENCE FICTJON He snorted. · "The-uh-uncle And "Got to hustle," the next who gave you that mink? I've seen day~ with a cursory caress. "I'm him. He's too fat," and he added taking Madeline shopping." in a growl that dissolved her, "I'll As the days went by and Bene­ be at your place at eight." dict saw more and more of the girl, "Why, Eddy •.. All right." he forgot to apologize. And the ti· She looked up through furred lash­ ger remained motionless in the es. "But I should warn you- I am corner as he carne and went, ~ not an inexpensive girl." proaching him. "You'll cook dinner of course­ Benedict bought Madeline an then we may do the town." He Oleg Cassini. patted his wallet pocket, and then In the comer of the living room, nipped her ear. "Have steak." a fine dust began to settle on Ben's As he rummaged in his sock fur. drawer that night, his hand hit Benedict bought Madeline a something hard, and he pulled it diamond bracelet. out with a crawly, sinking feeling. In the comer, a colony of moths The microphone-somehow he'd found its way into the heavy fur forgotten it this morning. It must on Ben's breast. have fallen in among his socks Benedict and Madeline went to while he was dressing, and he'd Nassau for a week. They stopped been without it all day. All day. at an auto dealer's on their way He picked it up, shaky with re­ back and Benedict bought Made­ lief, and started to slip it into his line a Jaguar. tuxedo. Then he paused, thinking. The composition ·at the roots of Carefully he set it back in the Ben's alert nylon whiskers had be­ drawer and shut it. He didn't need gun to give. They sagged, and one it any more. He was the tiger now. or two fell. That night, still rosy with drink It was in the cab, on his way and the heady sounds of music and horne from Madeline's apartment, Madeline's breath corning and go­ that Benedict examined his check­ ing in his ear, he went to bed book carefully for the first time. without undressing and slept un­ The trip and the down payment til it got light. When he woke and on the car had brought his ac­ padded into the living room in his counts to zero. And there was a socks he saw Ben in the corner, payment due on the bracelet the diminished somehow, watching next day. But what did it matter? him, He had forgotten their run. He shrugged. He was a man of "Sorry, old fellow," he said as power. At the door to his apart­ he left for work, giving the tiger ment he wrote the cabbie a check, a regretful pat. grandly adding an extra five dol- AUTOMATIC TlGEil 13 Iars as tip. Then he went upstairs, It was still dark in the park and pausing briefly to examine his tan he paced the walks, light-footed as in a mirror, and went to bed. a cat, expanding in a sense of pow­ He awoke at three o'clock in the er as he stalked. A dark figure came morning, prey to the shadows and through the gates-his prey-nd the time of day, uneasy for the he growled a little, chuckling as he first time, and in the cold light of recognized her-the same sad his bed lamp, went through his ac­ woman-frightened of a tiger­ counts again. There was less mon­ and he growled again, running to­ ey than he'd realized-he had to ward her, thinking, as he bore go to the bank to cover the check down on her, I will frighten her for the cabbie, or the down pay­ again. ment on the Jag would bounce. "Hey!" she yelled, as he rushed But he'd written a check for the at her and he broke stride because last installment on the bracelet, she hadn't shrunk from him in ter­ and that would be coming in, and ror; she was standing her ground, the rent was overdue. . . . Eeet a little wide, swinging her He had to have money now. He handbag. sat in bed, knees drawn up, mus­ Eyeing the pocketbook, he cir­ ing, and as he thought he re­ cled her and made another rush. membered the woman he and Ben "Hand it over," he snarled. had frightened that first day, and "I beg your pardon," she said the money in her purse, and it coldly, and when he rushed at her came to him that he would get the with another growl, "What's the money in the park. He remem­ ma.tter with you?" bered rushing down on the wom­ "The pocketbook," he said men­ an, her scream, and in memory acingly, hair bristling. that first accidental escapade with "Oh, the pochetbook." Abruptly the tiger became a daring daylight she lifted the purse and hit him on robbery-hadn't he spent the mon­ the head. ey? And as he thought back on it Startled, he staggered back, and he decided to try it again, begin­ before he could collect himself for ning to forget that the tiger had another lunge, she had turned with been with him and in fact, for­ an indignant snort and started out getting as he slipped into a striped of the park. sweatshirt and tied a kerchief at It was too light now to look for his throat that he was not the ti­ another victim. He peeled off the ger, so that he went out without sweatshirt and went out of the even seeing Ben in the corner, run~ park in his shirtsleeves, walking ning in low, long strides, hurry­ slowly, puzzling over the aborted ing to the park. robbery. He WM still brooding as 14 FANTASY AND SCIENCE FICTION he went into a nearby coffee shop Benedict filled his chest and paced for breakfast, and he worried over the rug in front of the conference it as he ate his Texas steak. The desk softly, noting uneasily that snarl hadn't been quite right, his shoes were muddy from the he decided finally, and he fiasco in the park, but still the straightened his tie and went too tiger. "I want more money." early to work. "Not todav, Benedict." "The Jaguar company called "I could g~t twice as much else­ me," Madeline said when she came where," Benedict said. He bored in in an hour later. "Your check as he always did, but there seemed bounced." to be a flaw in his attitude-per­ "Oh ?" Something in her eyes haps he was a bit hoarse from run­ kept him from making anything of ning in the early morning air-be­ it. "Oh," he said mildly. ''I'll take cause Gilfoyle, instead of rising care of it." with an offer, as he always did, "You'd better," she said. Her said, "You don't look very snappy eyes were cold. this morning, Benedict. Not like a Ordinarily he would take this company man." opportunity-before anyone else ". . . The Welchel Works of­ came in-to bite her on the neck, fered me • • . " Benedict was but this morning she seemed so dis­ saying. tant (probably because he hadn't "Then why don't you go to the shaved, he decided) and he went Welchel Works." Gilfoyle slapped back to his office instead, scowling his desk, annoyed. over several columns of figures on "You need me," Benedict said. a lined pad. He stuck out his jaw as always, but "It looks bad," he murmured. "I the failure in the park had left him need a raise." more shaken than he realized, and His employer's name was John he must have said it in the wrong Gilfoyle-Mr. Gilfoyle, or Sir, to way. · most of his employees. Benedict "I don't need you," Gilfoyle had learned early that the use of barked. "Get out of here or I may the initials rattled him, and he decide I don't even want you." used them to put himself at an ad­ "You ..."Benedict began. vantage. "Get out!" Perhaps because he was off his "Y -yessir." Completely un­ feed that morning, perhaps because nerved, he backed out of the office. Benedict had forgotten his coat, In the corridor, he bumped into Gilfoyle didn't even blink. "I've no Madeline. time for that today," he snapped. "About that down payment "You don't seem to understand." •• ," she said. AUTOMATIC TIGER 15 "I-1'11 tend to it. If I can just get to his feet. His right eye was comeover ..." so dim now that Benedict could "Not tonight," she sniffed. She hardly see him. The light behind seemed to sense a change in him. the left eye had gone out. When his "I'm going to be a little busy." master called him to the door he He was too shattered to protest. moved slowly, and as he came into Back at his desk, he mulled over the lamplight, Benedict saw why. and over the figures in his note­ Ben's tail was lashing only fee­ book. At lunch he stayed in his bly, and his eyes were dimmed chair, absently stroking his paper­ with dust. His coat had lost its lus­ weight-a tiger-striped lump he ter, and the mechanism that moved had bought in palmier days, and as his response to Benedict's com­ he stroked it he thought of Ben. mands had stiffened with disuse. For the first time in several weeks The proud silver ruff was yellow, he dwelled on the tiger, unexpect­ spotted here and there where the edly, overwhelmingly homesick for moths had eaten it too close. Mov­ him. He sat out the rest of the aft­ ing rustily, the tiger pressed his ernoon in misery, too unsure of head against Benedict. himself now to leave the office be­ "Hey, fella," Benedict said with fore the clock told him it was time. a lump in his throat. "Hey. Tell As soon as he could he left, taking you what," he said, stroking the a cab with a five-spot he had thinning fur, "soon as it gets late found in a lower drawer, thinking enough we'll go out to the park. all the time that at least the tiger A little fresh air-" he said, voice would never desert him, that it breaking "fresh air'll put the spring would be good to take Ben out back in you." With an empty feel­ again, comforting to run with his ing that belied his words, he settled old friend in the park. himself on the couch to wait. As Forgetting the elevator, he raced the tiger grew near he took one of up the stairs and into his living his silver-backed brushes and began room, stopping only to switch on a brushing the tiger's lifeless coat. small lamp by the door. "Ben," he The fur came out in patches, ad­ said, and threws his arms around hering to the soft bristles and Ben­ the tiger's neck. Then he went in­ edict saddened, put the brush to his bedroom and hunted up the aside. "It'll be OK fella," he said, microphone. He found it in his stroking the tiger's head to reassure closet, under a pile of dirty draw­ himself. For a moment Ben's eyes ers. picked up the glow from the lamp, "Ben," he said softly into the and Benedict tried to tell himself microphone. they had already begun to grow It took the tiger a long time to brighter. 16 FANTASY AND SCIENCE PIC110N "It's time," Benedict said. touched Benedict's knee with one "C'mon, Ben." He started out the paw, looking at him soulfully with door and down the hall, going his brave blind eye. Then he slowly. The tiger followed him flexed his body and drew it under creakily, and they began the pain­ him in a semblance of his old pow­ ful trip to the park. erful grace and set off at a run, Several minutes later the park heading for the artificial lake. The gates loomed reassuringly, and tiger looked back once and made Benedict pushed on, sure, some­ an extra little bound, as if to show how, that once the tiger was with­ Benedict that he was his old self in their shelter his strength would now, that there was nothing to for­ begin to return. And it seemed give, and launched himself in a true, at first, because the darkness leap across the lake. He started braced the tiger in some gentle splendidly, but it was too late~ way, and he started off springily the mechanism had been unused when Benedict turned to him and for too long now, and just as he said, "Let's go." was airborne it failed him and the Benedict ran a few long, mad proud body stiffened in midair and steps, telling himself the tiger was dropped, rigid, into the lake. right behind him and then slowed, When he could see well enough pacing the tiger, because he real­ to make his way to the lake Bene­ ized now that if he ran at fu11 dict went forward, still grinding strength Ben would never be able tears from his eyes with heavy to keep up with him. He went at knuckles. Dust- a few hairs­ a respectable lope for some dis­ floated on the water, but that was tance, and the tiger managed to all. Ben was gone. Thoughtfully, keep up with him, but then he Benedict took the microphone from found himself going slower and his pocket and dropped it in the slower as the tiger, trying gallantly, lake. He stood, watching the lake moved his soft feet in the travesty until the first light of morning of a run. came raggedly through the trees, Finally Benedict went to a struggling to reach the water. He bench and called him back, head was in no hurry because he knew, lowered so the tiger wouldn't see without being told, that he was that he was almost crying. finished at the office. He would "Ben," he said, "forgive me. • probably have to sell the new ward­ The big head nudged him and as robe, the silver brushes, to meet his Benedict turned the faint light debts, but he was not particularly from the one good eye illuminated concerned. It seemed appropriate, his face. Ben seemed to compre­ now, that he should be left with hend his expression, because he :f!Othing ...... Introduction to Avram Davidson's SACHEVERELL

Several months ago, the managing editor hurled Mr. Davidson to the floor, planted one knee on his chest and urged him (at blaster point) to dictate some biographical data to our voluptuous gal Friday. We now quote {t, and we think you'll find it almost as en­ gaging as the story which follows-E. L. F. "Subject was born some several decades ago in a non-aristocratic section of Yonkers, N.Y., called Hog Hill-sometimes refe"ed to by social climbers as Swine Heights-and was educated (if that is le mot juste) in the local schools, a process which nearly unfitted him forever for participation in any useful functions whatsoever. He attended four institutions of higher learning without taking a de­ gree from any of them, mind you. During late crossness with Japan, served as US Naval Hospital Corpsman with Marines in South Pacific, and wound up feeding Epsom Salts to the inhabi­ tants of North China; following which the defeat of Chiang Kai­ shek came as no surprise. Subject will not bore you with a catalog of his various jobs, such as sheep-herding, tomato-picking, or in­ spector of fish livers. Sold his first F or SF story to F&SF in the year 53 or 54, being much encouraged by Anthony Boucher and Ward Moore; has since been translated into 10 languages on five continents. Author of SF collection OR ALL THE SEAS WITH OYSTERS (Berkley) factual collection CRIMES AND CHAOS (Regency); novel (with Ward Moore), JOYLEG (Pyramid); forth­ coming (Pyramid) SF novel MUTINY IN SPACE (publishers­ ugh-title). Mr. Davidson is believed to be the only person to have received, for writing, both the SF Hugo and the Mystery Writers of America Edgar awards. Is now working on the first of a cycle of novels of which the corpus will be called VERGIL MAGUS. He is married to the voluptuous Grania Davidson; therJ live in Mexico with their son, Ethan. He has no hobbies, cares for neither games nor sports, and regularly votes the straight Whig ticket.'"

17 SACHEVEREll

by Avram Davidson

THE FRONT WINDOWS OF THE something stranger, I believe the room were boarded up, and inside Professor-" the voice faltered, it was dark and cold and smelled continued, "-has a drop of the very bad. There was a stained oh-be-joyful in a bottle on the side­ mattress on which a man wrapped board. And now pray take seats." in a blanket lay snoring, a chair The wind sounded outside; with no back; a table which held when it died away, leaving the the remains of a bag of hamburg­ candleflame dancing, there was a ers, several punched beer cans, humming noise which rose and and a penny candle which cast fell like a moan, then ended shadows all around. abruptly on a sort of click. The There was a scuffling sound in voice resumed, wavering at first, the shadows, then a tiny rattling "Coko and Moko? No-I'm very chattering noise, then a thin and sorry, I really can't invite them, tiny voice said, tentatively, "You they're very stupid, they don't must be very cold, George ..."No know how to behave and they can't reply. "Because I know I'm very even talk ..." cold ..."the voice faded out. Aft­ The man on the stained mat­ er a moment it said, "He's still tress woke in a convulsive move­ asleep. A man needs his rest. It's ment that brought him sitting up very hard ..." The voice seemed with a cry. He threw his head to to be listeping for something, the right and left and grimaced seemed not to hear it; after an in­ and struck at the air. stant, in a different tone, said, "All "Did you have a bad dream, right." George?" the voice asked, uncer­ "Hmm?" it asked the silence. tainly. The chattering broke out again for George said, "Uhn !" thrusting just a second, then the voice said, at his eyes with the cushions of "Good afternoon, Princess. Good his palms. He dropped his hands, afternoon, Madame. And General cleared his throat and spat, thickly. -how very nice to see you. I wish Then he r«::ached out and grabbed to invite you to a tea-party. We the slac_k of a chain lying on the will use the best set of doll dishes floor, one end fastened to a table­ and if anyone wishes to partake of leg, and began to pull it in. The 18 SACHEVERELL 19 chain resisted, he tugged, some­ around his shoulders, he shambled thing fell and squeaked, and quicklv to the door, checked the George, continuing to pull, hauled bolt, then examined in turn the in his prize and seized it. boarded-up front windows and the "Sacheverell-" catch on the barred and frost­ "I hope you didn't have a bad rimmed b2ck window. Then he did dream, George-" something in a comer, cursing and "Sacheverell-was anybody sighing. here? You lie to me and-" Under the table Sacheverell "No, George, honest! Nobody tugged on his chain ineffectually. was here, George!" "I don't like it here, George," he "You lie to me and I'll kill you!" said. "It's cold and it's dirty and "I wouldn't lie to you, George. I I'm dirty and cold, too, and I'm know it's wicked to lie." hungry. It's all dark here and no­ George glared at him out of his body ever comes here and I don't reddened eyes, took a firmer grip like it, George, I don't like it here with both hands, and squeezed. one bit. I wish I was back with the Sacheverell cried out, thrust his Professor again. I was very happy face at George's wrist. His teeth then. The Professor was nice to me clicked on air, George released and so was the Princess and Mad­ him, abruptly, and he scuttled ame Opal and the General. They away. George smeared at his trou­ were the only ones in on the se- ser-leg with his sleeve, made a . cret, until you found out." noise of disgust. "Look what you George swung around and done, you filthy little ape!" he looked at him. One eye sparked in shouted. the candle-light. Sacheverell whimpered in the "We used to have tea-parties shadows. "I can't help it, George. I and Madame Opal always brought haven't got any sphincter muscle, chocolates when she came, even and you scared me, you hurt me when she came alone, and she " read love stories to me out of a George groaned, huddled in un­ magazine book with pictures and der his blanket. "A million dolla~ they were all true. Why can't I be on the end of this chain," he said; back with the Professor again?" "and Om living in this hole, here. George swallowed, and opened Like a wino, like a smokey, like a his mouth with a little smacking bum f" He struck the floor with his sound. "Professor Whitman died fist. "It don't make sensei" he of a heart-attack, • he said. cried, shifting around till he was Sacheverell looked at him, head on all fours, then pushing himself cocked. .. An attack • . .• erect. Wrapping the blanket •So he's dead! So forget about 20 PANTASY AND SCIENCE FICTION hiin!" the words tore out of the They pay about fifteen bucks and man's mouth. He padded across then they cut 'em up." He made a the room. Sacheverell retreated to scissors out of his fingers and went the end of his chain. lc'khkhkhkh . . • Sacheverell shud­ "I don't know what the Hell Om dered. George set his foot on the gunna do ... In a few weeks now, chain again and took hold of him they'll tear this rotten building by the neck. He poked him in the down. Maybe," he said, slyly, put­ stomach with his finger, stiff. It ting his foot down on the chain, had grown colder, the man's "I'll sell you to a zoo. Where you breath shown misty in the tainted belong." He bent, grunting, and air. He poked again. Sacheverell picked up the chain. made a sick noise, struggled. Sacheverell's teeth began to "Come on," George said. "Level chatter. "I don't!" he shrilled. "I with me. There's a million dollars don't belong in a zoo! The little inside of you, you dirty little ape. people they have there are stupid There's gotta be. Only I don't -they don't know how to behave, know how. So you tell me." and they can't even talk!" Sacheverell whimpered. "I don't . George closed one eye, nodded; know, George. I don't know." slowly, very slowly, drew in the The man scowled, then grinned chain. "Come on," he said. "Level slyly. "That's what you say. I'm not with me. Professor Whitman had a so sure. You think I don't know nice little act, there. How come he that if They found out, They'd quit and took off and came here?" take you away from me? Sure. A Slowly he drew in the chain. Sa­ million bucks . . . How come I'm eheverell trembled, but did not re­ being followed, if They don't sist. know? First a guy with a beard, "We were going to go to a labo­ then a kid in a red snow suit. I ratory in a college," he said. "He seen them together. Listen, you told me. It was a waste to keep me frigging little jocko, you better doing silly tricks with Coko and thi11k, I'm telling you-you better Moko, when I was so smart. He think hard!" He poked again with should have don~ it before, he his stiff and dirty finger. And said." again. "I always knew, see, I al­ George's mouth turned up on ways k11ew that there was a mil­ one side, creasing the stubble. lion bucks waiting for me some­ "Naa, Sacheverell," he said. "That where, if I only kept my eyes open. don't make sense. You know what What the Hell is a guy like me do­ they do to monkeys in them labs? ing unloading crates in the fruit They cut 'em up. That's all. I market, when I got plans for a mil­ kNOW. I went to one and I asked. lion? And then-" His voice sank SACHI!Vl!RELL 21 and his eyes narrowed. "-this "Save mel" Sacheverell Professor Whitman come along screamed, dashing from side to and put up at the Eagle Hotel. I side. "He attacked Professor Whit­ caught his act in the sticks once, I man and knocked him down and been around. First I thought he he didn't get up again-" was practicing ventriloquism, then George stooped, picking up the I found out about you-you was chair, but the red snow-suit got be­ the other voice in his room! And tween his legs and he stumbled. that's when I-" The chair was jerked from his Abruptly he stopped. The out­ hands, he came up with his fists side door opened with a rusty clenched and the bearded person squeal and footfalls sounded in the struck down with the chair. It hall. Someone knocked. Someone caught him across the bridge of the tried the knob. Someone said, "Sa­ nose with a. crunching noise, he cheverell? Sacheverell ?" and fell, turned over, stayed down. Si­ George clamped his hairy, filthy lence. hand over the captive's mouth. Sa­ Sacheverell hiccupped. Then cheverell jerked and twitched and he said, "Why are you wearing rolled his eyes. The voice made a men's clothing, Princess Zaga?'' disappointed noise, the footfalls "A bearded man attracts quite moved uncertainly, started to re­ enough attention, thank you," the treat. And then Sacheverell kicked Princess said, disengaging the out at George's crotch. The man chain. "No need to advertise ... grunted, cursed, lost his grip- Let's get out of here." She picked "Helpl" Sacheverell cried. him up and the three of them went "Helpf Helpf Sal'e mel" out into the black, deserted street, Fists beat on the door, the glass boarded-shut windows staring in the back window crashed and blindly. The snow fell thickly, fell to the floor, a weasened old­ drifting into the ravaged hall and man's face peered through the -into the room where George's opening, withdrew. George ran to blood, in a small pool, had already the door, then turned to chase Sa­ begun to freeze. cheverell, who fled, shrieking hys­ "There's our car, Sacheverell," terically. A tiny figure in a red said the man in the red snow suit, snow-suit squeezed through the thrusting a cigar into his child­ bars of the back window and ran size,, jaded old face. 'What a time to pull the bolt on the door. Some­ one in boots and a plaid jacket "I assume you are still with the and a woolen watch-cap burst in, carnival, General Pinkey?" melting snow glittering on a big "No, kiddy. The new owners black beard. wouldn't recognize the union, so 22 FANTASY AND SCIENCE FICTION we quit and retired on Social Se­ ging Sacheverell. "Oh, how neg­ curity in Sarasota. You'll like it lected you are! Oh, how thin! there. Not that the unions are We'll have a tea-party, just like we much better, mind you: Bismarki­ used to, the very best doll dishes; an devices to dissuade the working we'll see you eat nice and we'll classes from industrial government wash you and comb you and put on a truly Marxian, Socialist-La­ ribbons around your neck." bor basis. We got a television set, Sacheverell began to weep. "Oh, kiddy." it was awful with George," he said. "And look who's waiting for "Never mind, never mind, he you-" Princess-Zaga opened the didn't know any better," Mme. station wagon and handed Sa­ Opal said, soothingly. cheverell inside. There, in the back "The Hell he didn't!" snapped seat, was the hugest, the vastest, Princess Zaga. the fattest woman in the world. "Predatory capitalism," General "Princess Opal!" Sacheverell Pinkey began. cried, leaping into her arms-and "Never mind, never mind, for­ was buried in the wide expanse of get about it, darling, it was only a her bosom and bathed in her warm bad dream ..." Gothick tears. She called him her Sacheverell dried his tears on Precious and her Little Boy and Mme. Opal's enormous spangled­ her very own Peter Pan. velvet bosom. "George was very "It was Madame Opal who mean to me," he said. "He treated planned this all," Princess Zaga me very mean. But worst of all, remarked, starting the car and you know, Madame Opal, he lied driving off. General Pinkey lit his to me-he lied to me all the time, cigar and opened a copy of The and I almost believed him-that Weekly People. was the most horrible part of all: I "Yes, I did, yes, I did," Mme. almost believed that I was a mon­ Opal murmured, kissing and hug- key." The phrase which intitules Mr. Sharkey's story does not come, we are somewhat reliably informed, from the works of Darwin-as is popularly believed-but from those of his not-quite-colleague, Al­ fred Wallace, the eminent Malayologist; Darwin's own phrase being "natural selection". Be that as it may. Is there no reality to dreams? Is there no unreality to the waking state? The replies of Darwin and Wallace to these perennial questions, we do not find tonveniently to hand, alas. But of one thing, however, we are quite sure. Neither gentleman ever lived in Greenwich Village nor pa­ tronized one of those chiropractors of the spirit known as psy­ choanalysts.

SURVIVAL OF THE FITTEST

by Jack Sharkey

DR. MooNSTAR WROTE swiFT­ him a moment, "you had this fight, ly, in big black graphite letters, on in your dream, and slammed out the thick, pulpy yellow paper of of the apartment?" his -pad. Beyond the uppermost "Yes, that's right," said Greg edge of the pad, on a pink cloud Norton, the man on the couch. only slightly smaller than the one "Adela was furious, of course. She on which his desk and chair float­ wanted to rip up all my paintings, ed, the youth on the padded leath­ smash the tubes of color, snap the erette couch stared wearily upward brushes in two. I knew she would­ into the blue-black void that lay in n't, after I'd gone, of course. But all directions about the two clouds; if I stayed, she might get just mad and talked in a toneless, listless enough. So I went out." voice, spewing out the details "And this Village you speak of, which Moonstar was adding in per­ the one in which your dream seems tinent abridged form to the not­ always to take place, Mr. Norton inconsiderable file of notes already -Was it the same as always, garnered from the patient's dis­ when you got outside?" courses. "The same-Insofar as the Vil­ "And then," Moonstar prompt­ lage is ever the same," said Greg. ed, when the man's voice failed "A few new characters with shiny 23 24 FANTASY AND SCIENCE FICTIOS new crops of black whiskers, an brushed the soles of his feet, and addition or subtraction among the then he was tumbling happily paintings in the square. Like that. downward into blue-black noth­ But the buildings, the streets • • • ingness, the twin clouds pale cot­ All the same." tony dots already, high above him. "Still in-" The psychiatrist Greg tumbled head over heels in consulted his notes for the name. comfortable slow motion, yawning "Still in New York, this fantastic wearily and staring in mild inter­ island city you described last est at the brightening crimson week?" globe far off in the distance. The "So far as I know. The locale duil red surface was becoming a didn't enter into my conYersations glare, now, and it hurt his eyes to with my confreres last night." look at it. He shut them tight, "I see," said Moonstar. Then, as and tried to ignore the blinding yel­ he noted this data on the pad, a lows that the glaring orb left upon sharp reddish glimmer of light off his inner lids. He snorted, twisted to his left made him turn his head his body in the opposite direction, that way. Off in the utterly feature­ and bumped into a hand. He less darkness of the void, a globu­ opened his eyes to see a rumpled lar shape was swimming into pallid pillow, and the five blood-red fin­ crimson existence. lVIoonstar gernails of the hand that lay upon sighed, removed his pincenez, and, it. Sitting up in the bed, he saw with closed eyes, began to massage Adela, her face puffy from too the bridge of his nose. "That, I much sleep, lying somnolent he­ think, will be all for today, Mr. side him. Norton," he said. "Damn," he sighed, getting out Greg sat up and let his legs of bed and stretching, amid the lit­ dangle from the edge of the couch, ter of paint-smeared rags that lay over the wispy pink rim of cloud about the one-room apartment, that lay between his bare feet and with its high, sloping windows fac­ the void. "Same time tomorrow?" ing the aU-important north light he asked, scratching at his waist­ near the easel and its half-com­ line where the tight drawstring of pleted canvas. "Always the same his pajama bottoms was impeding dream. I wonder if this Village I circulation. seem to be in is still on that silly "Same time," Moonstar nodded. island?" "Be sure to check on the locale of He looked through the lower part the Village if the dream returns." of the window, and could see a "I will," Greg promised, and spider-web of bridge cables in the sprang nimbly from the edge of distant haze of early morning, still the couch. Pale tendrils of cloud spanning that river he dreamt of SUilVIVAL OF THE FJ1TEST 25 on the southeinish tip of the is­ "And what," said Adela, tautly, land. "Still here, I bet," he sighed, "is today's assignment?" plugging in the single-unit electric "Finding out if we're still on­ range on which the coffeepot rest­ uh, whatsis . . . Manhattan Is­ ed. While waiting out the time it land," said Greg, turning off the would take to begin perking, Greg coffee and pouring two cups. He shucked off his pajamas, slipped brought Adela hers, and she took into a heavy blue woolen bath­ it without thanks, staying in the robe, and went out into the hall to bed with the blankets tucked about get first crack at the bathroom he her waist as she leaned against the and Adela shared with the other headboard. · loft on the top floor. There was, as "Whatsis!" she muttered, and happened about two dreams a sipped the coffee. "It's been called week, no hot water, but Greg show­ Manhattan since Peter Minuit ered anyhow, figuring that the bought it, and Greg says, 'uh, itchy, non-washed feeling felt real, whatsis'!" She stared at her hus­ even though he knew it to be a band, suddenly. "Or did you make simple product of his slumbering up Peter Minuit, too?" mind. "A dream of soap," he quot­ "I must have," he said, sitting ed Dr. Moonstar as he fought his beside her on the bed. "Otherwise, body's urge to leap from beneath you and I couldn't discuss him." the freezing cold spray, "can be Adela stared at him a long time, safely counteractive to a dream of as if trying to say something. dried perspiration." Then-and Greg sensed she was Shuddering when he finally not saying what she'd been think­ toweled himself, Greg fought an ing about-she grunted a belated, impulse to sneeze. "It might waken "Thanks for the coffee." me, and then I'd have to face "Sure," he said, sipping his own. Moonstar with hardly any detail After awhile, Adela got up, put her whatsoever." empty cup into the sink, and start­ Back in his room, he saw that ed for the bathroom. As she Adela was ·sitting up in bed, re­ reached the door to the hall, Greg garding him steadily with tired called after her, "There's no hot grey eyes. "How's cloudland?" she water." said, sardonically. Greg regretted Adela, annoyed, stopped with ever telling her she was a figment her hand on the knob and looked of his dream of the Village, since back over her shoulder at him. her resentment felt quite real. "The least you could do," she said "Fine," he said noncommitally. with bitter humor, "is dream some "Dr. Moonstar thinks we're making up for me." splendid progress." "You know I can't do that, 'Del," 26 FANTASY AND SCIENCE FICTION Greg complained. "Dr. Moonstar Distracted, Greg stared at her, says that direct interference might then at the canvas. "It is kind of upset the balance of my psyche, misproportionate," he nodded, after and-" a bit. ''You mind posing again?" "Moonstar!" groaned Adela, "Do I ever?" asked his wife, get­ shutting her eyes tight. "You'd ting up on the rough wooden plat­ think even his name would clue form fifteen feet from the easel, vou in that-" and striking the pose of the girl · "That what?" asked Greg, when on the canvas. she hesitated. "A little higher," Greg said, "Never mind," said Adela. She without thanking her. went out into the hall, not closing Adela obliged, and Greg grunt­ the door, and after a few moments, ed when she had her hand in the Greg heard the shower running in correct elevation, then proceeded the bathroom. He yawned, poured to paint like fury. When her arm himself a second eup of coffee, grew tired, she came down from then set it to cool on the narrow the platform and around the easel sill of the window while he again. "Where's the polish?" she dressed. \Vhen Adela returned, asked, studying the painting. her face pinched and slightly blue, "It clashed with the shade of the he was in his faded denim slacks, skirt," said Greg, "so I painted the dark blue pullover, and wooden nails natural color." shower clogs, staring at the surface "I liked the polish," said his of his latest canvas. wife. Greg shrugged, but kept on By the time Adela was in her painting without replying. Adela, leotards, loafers and wraparound tiring of watching his brush leap red skirt, Greg had made his deci­ over the canvas, studied her hand sion, and had squirted the neces­ in the light from the window. "I sary colors onto his streaked pal­ could have sworn," she said, "that ette. He painted swiftly, surely, I had polish on my nails." smiling unconsciously as he "Probably washed off in the squinted, knotted his brow, and shower," said Greg.. stared critically at the work under "Nail polish?" laughed Adela. creation. Adela took his now­ "Not even in hot water." empty cup from the windowsill, re­ Greg shrugged again. "So you filled it, and set it back in place, were mistaken," he said. Then his before coming around behind the mind returned to the moment he'd easel and looking at the picture entered the dream, and had seen with him. "It's almost done," she her hand on the pillow beside his remarked. "But the left hand still head. "No," he said, "you're right." looks wrong." He set the brush down and stared SURVIVAL OF THE FITTEST l7 at her, hard. "You were wearing don't you!~ That would be the polish this morning." change I'd relish.!" Adela looked at her nails again. "Do you suppose I could?" asked ''\Veil, I'm not now." Scowling Greg, intrigued hy the thought. suddenly, she nibbled at a just­ But Adela, with a snert of bitter noticed hangnail, and said, out of anger, turned on her heel and the side of her mouth, "Maybe that rushed out of the loft. stand-up-and-walk-by-itself eoffee Greg, left alone, stared at his you make affects the nails from the color tubes, then selected viridian, inside; you know, like taking gela­ ebOR, and white and squirted a tine." blob of ea·ch on his light wooden "Uh-huh," nodded Greg. "Then palette, carefully recapped the again, maybe I'.ve gone and inter­ tubes, and stepped to the £anvas fered with the dream." once more. He would paint ob­ "The dream, the dream, the longs of white paper in Adela's dream!" his wife moaned. "Are we fist, edge them delicately with still on that topic?" green, then duplicate-in detail "What if I could prove it to correlative to the manner of his you?" said Greg, abruptly. "If my handling of the rest of the portrait painting the color off your nails -the numerals and desigRS of takes it off your nails outside the high-denomination bills in black canvas-! should be able to show you." A stroke of white, and his hand "Greg-!" said Adela, irritation stopped. · and anger twisting in her stomach ''I'm interfering with the like a ball of hot worms. "I'll •ake dream," he told himself. "Dr. your word for it. Leave the paint­ Moonstar might nat approve. I ing alone. It's just fine." should ask him- But I can't do "But," he said, disappointed, his that until I awaken, can I? Be­ brush hovering over the canvas, sides, this will give me interesting "Isn't there anything about your­ detail to add to my next analysis. self you'd like to see changed? A So far, it's been nothing but every­ little fat off the hips, perhaps, or a day, boring, monotonous life in shaplier pair of legs, a new hair this Village I dreamed up." length, color-" So thinking, he proceeded to "I like me the way I am!" Adela complete the sheaf of crisp bills in llnapped. "Just the way I am! And the grasp of the hand in the por· so are you supposed to, or why did trait. He chose fifties, as being easy you marry me, anyhow! If you for Adela to break in the stores of want to paint me differently, paint the neighborhood. Larger would me with a fistful of money, why have presented buying problemtJ 28 FANTASY AND SCIENCE FICTION smaller would have been· cramped Moonstar shrugged gently. "She ambition. didn't return to the old one, did By sunset, when his wife had she?" He smiled indulgently, and not yet returned, Greg trotted gestured for Greg to recline once down four flights to the darken­ more. "It's common enough in ing streets below to seek her out. dreams of blighted love. Women Acquaintances who strolled the never run from something; only to cooling sidewalks, or lounged in something." doorways, or sprawled on benches "I'm going back there!" said· in the square were questioned cas­ Greg, sliding forward to the lip of ually but thoroughly. Yes, Adela the couch. "I've got to find her." had been seen that morning. Yes, "It's only a dream-" began she said she had come into money Moonstar, but Greg was already unexpectedly. Someone had seen plunging from view into the black her descending into the subway void between the clouds. entrance at 14th Street, on the He sat up with a start in bed, Uptown side. There the trail died. threw aside the light coverlet, and Greg went home to the loft with found his clothes and shoes with· a slight headache. out turning on the light. In the He lay awake a long time, Jis­ small bathroom· down the hall, he tening for her footfall on the stairs, dashed water in his face, scrubbed but eventually his tired eyes it dry with a rough towel, then drooped shut. started for the stairs. And stopped "So you assume she's moved up­ on the top landing. town, and ]eft you?" asked Moon· "There's a milJion places she star, scribbling faithfully. could be," he told himself. "I need "What else could it be?" Greg a clue. Some hint as to her where­ sighed, his nervous fingers dutch­ abouts-The picture!" ing at the edges of the couch. "I Greg rushed back into the loft painted nearly three hundred dol­ and snapped on the light. The can­ lars in her hands. She never had so vas faced the darkened window, much at once before. Perhaps it and was invisibly grey with the went to her head." room's single bulb behind it. Greg "Interesting," said Moonstar. spun it tow~rd the light, nearly "Your dream is starting to get some­ topping the easel, and then stood place, now. The thing to do, of and stared in numb shock at the course, is to have a showdown with portrait of his wife. the new man in her life." The hand that had held the Greg turned his face toward the money was empty. And Adela, no doctor, then sat up. "\Vhat makes longer standing, lay in a pool of you think there's a new man?" her own blood. There were bruises SUllVlVAL OF THE Fln'EST ]9 about her face and bare shoulders But Adela was no longer Jn the that revealed the brutality of who­ portrait. ever had robbed her. Greg thought "The police-" Greg said aloud. of the police, then dismissed the The uncertainty in his own tone thought. He had only a portrait to trouble him. "They must have show them. A portrait that might found her- Taken the body to the send him to the electric chair if morgue. That's all." Adela were found as he'd appar­ All at once, he wanted badly ently painted her. His dream must to talk to Dr. Moonstar. He turned not become a burning nightmare. and rushed for the bed. On the Swiftly, Greg grabbed for his floor, his foot struck something and palette and brushes and paints, he fell headlong, dashing his head squinting in the poor light as he against the wall. Dazed, he sat up did what he had to do. An hour la­ to see what had tripped him. ter, it was done. On the floor not far from the Leotards and wraparound skirt foot of the easel lay the turpen­ were painted away. In their place, tined rag with which he had the body of Adela Norton was clad cleared the damning details from in a rich blue evening gown and the portrait. There was a roundish mink stole. The outermost joint of lump under it, the thing over each finger was painted away, which he had stumbled. He knew leaving only raw red stumps. The what it was, but he lifted the rag body ended in a ragged rise of anyhow, and stared at Adela's throat; the head had been painted missing head, lying on ten gory away completely. fingertips. "Now no one will know who When he finallv heard the she is," Greg gasped in triumph. heavy footsteps on the stairs to the "Rich clothing will keep the in­ loft, he knew whose they were, quiries clear of the Village; no fin­ and what she was coming back for. gerprints, no face, will keep her "Moonstar!" he screamed, sCram­ from ever being connected with bling toward the bed. "Moonstar, me. I'm safe. Safe." wake me up! The dream's a night­ He turned, trembling with fa­ mare! Wake me up!" tigue, and poured himself a cold Like a child, he huddled under cup of coffee from the pot made the bedclothes with the pillow that morning. He drank it in three shielding his face. He heard the gulps, felt a bit steadier, and door to the room open, heard the turned to look upon his handi­ footsteps moving across the floor work again. The desolate areaway toward the turpentined rag and its in which the body had lain re­ grisly secret. mained, as did much of the blood. "Moonstar!" he whimpered, and 30 FANTASY AND SCIENCE FICTION felt his consciousness whirling in the scream of despair that welled the first numb dazzle of a dead up in his chest. He fell faster by faint. the instant, and a searing wind Greg sat up on the couch, shud­ was trying to tear his grip free of dering with relief. "Doctor, I've the couch. "I won't leave, I won't just had the worst-" he began, let go!" he sobbed, and buried his then stopped as he turned his head. face in the resilient surface of the Moonstar's cloud was empty of couch, holding it there tightly, tenancy. The desk and pad were frantically. there, but Moonstar was not. A sign on the desk read, simply, "How's it look?" asked the police "Doctor is on vacation." lieutenant. Greg sat on the edge of the "Not good," said the young in­ couch, staring at the sign. He terne, taking his stethoscope from knew he could sit there only so the chest of the pale, gasping long before fatigue would make young man in the hurtling ambu­ him sleep again. And when he lance. "A real screwball case. His slept- wife came up to the clinic this Frantically, he twisted his body, morning, asked if one of the doc­ flung himself face downward upon tors could prescribe something for the couch, and clung to it like a her husband's nerves; said he was drifting log in a hostile sea. "I getting pretty rocky lately. I only won't sleep!" he told himself. "I work there half a day today, so I won't go back and finish that said I'd come home with her at dream." noon and look him over. I'm not His perch rocked slightly, nau­ sure we got there in time, at all. seatingly, and Greg lifted his head Found him lying unconscious in to see what was happening. The bed, his arms smothering a pillow crimson orb was starting to appear against his face. And those paint­ in the void again. The cottony ings-!" tendrils of cloud were dissolving in The lieutenant nodded. "I saw the rays that flared from the orb. them. His wife, with a fistful of Greg, cold with sweat, his teeth money, his wife lying dead, some gritted and bared in terror, hung dame's body in a mink lying the on gamely, refusing to leave his same way, and then a blood area­ last sanctuary. The orb grew red­ way. He must be real sick." der, brighter, warmer. The cloud "His wife said he thought life faded, was gone. was a dream; his dream. That any­ Greg, still clinging doggedly to thing he painted came true. That the couch, dropped giddily into the the city of New York, the Village, black void, too frightened to voice the whole creation, was all in his SURVIVAL OF THE FITTEST 31 imagination." The interne shud­ The cop nodded, and leaned to­ dered. "Poor stupid nut!" He ward the window connecting with looked at the figure on the stretch­ the driver's seat. And just before he er, and :ttis expression changed. He reached it, the siren stopped. And grabbed the man's wrist in his then the ambulance stopped. And strong fingers. the saunds of the big city stopped. "What is it?" asked the lieuten­ The lieutenant turned a white ant, though some swifter psychic face to the interne. part of his mind already knew. "Sav," he said, with a nervous The interne sighed, sat back, laugh;"you don't think-" and then lifted the sheet over the He was talking to empty air. face of the corpse. "You may as The interne was no longer there to well tell Donnelly to turn off the think anything. siren," he said to the lieutenant. Outside the stalled ambulance, "There's no rush, now." the first skyscraper began to topple.

THE PRODIGALS

Never dream the stars in future years Will know our fleets flung up like shining spears, Or care or comprehend What strange caravan has passed To what uncertain end.

Never doubt when every sun is old And all our ardent blood grown thin and cold For no new worlds to roam, Having loved us to the last, Earth will call us home. -}£AN BRIDOB SCIENCE 0

FORGET IT! by Isaac Asimov

/ THE OTHER DAY I WAS LOOKING THROUGH a new textbook on biology, "Biological Science: An Inquiry Into Life," written by a number of con­ tributing authors and published by Harcourt, Brace & World, Inc. in 1963. I found it fascinating. Unfortunately, though, I read the "Foreword" first (yes, I'm one of that kind) and was instantly plunged into the deepest gloom. Let me quote from the first two paragraphs: "With each new generation our fund of scientific knowledge increases fivefold .... At the current rate of scientific advance, there is about four times as much significant biological knowledge today as in 1930, and about sixteen times as much as in 1900. By the year 2000, at this rate of increase, there will be a hundred times as much biology to 'cover' in the introductory course as at the beginning of the century." Imagine how this affects me. I am a professional "keeper-upper" with science and in mv more manic, ebullient and carefree moments, I even think I succeed ·fairly well. Then I read something like the above quoted passage and the world falls about my ears. I don't keep up with science. Worse, I ca1z't keep up with it. Still worse, I'm falling farther behind every day. And finally, when I'm all through sorrowing for myself (and this takes a long time, for I believe in being careful and thorough-going in my self­ pity) I devote a few moments to worrying about the world generally. What is going to become of Homo sapiens? \Ve're going to smarten our­ selves to death. After a while, we will all die of pernicious education, with our brain cells cramed to indigestion with facts and concepts, and with blasts of information exploding out of our ears. But then, as luck would have it, the very day after I read the Foreword to "Biological Science" I came across an old, old book entitled "Pike's Arithmetic." At least that is the name on the spine. On the title page, it spreads itself a bit better for in those days, titles were titles. It goes "A New and Complete System of Arithmetic Composed for the Use of the 32 pORGET IT! 33 Citizens of the United States" by Nicolas Pike, A. M. It was first pub­ lished in 1785, but the copy I have is only the "Second Edition, En­ larged," published in 1797. It is a large book of over 500 pages, crammed full of small print and with no relief whatever in the way of illustrations or diagrams. It is a solid slab of arithmetic except for small sections at the very end that in­ troduce algebra and geometry. I was amazed. I have two children in grade school (and once I was in grade school myself) and I know what arithmetic books are like these days. They are nowhere near as large. They can't posibly even have ODJ!­ fifth the wordage of Pike. Can it be that we are leaving anything out? So I went through Pike and, you know, we are leaving something out. And there's nothing wrong with that. The trouble is we're not leaving enough out.

On page 19, for instance, Pike devotes half a page to a listing of num­ bers as expressed in Roman numerals, extending it upward to five hun­ dred thousand. (I challenge any Gentle Reader to tell me how to express five hundred thousand in Roman numerals according to Pike's system.) Now Arabic numerals reached Europe in the high Middle Ages, and once they came on the scene the Roman numerals were completely out­ moded. They lost all possible use, so infinitely superior was the new Arabic notation. Until then, who knows how many reams of paper were required to explain methods for calculating with Roman numerals. Aft­ erwards the same calculations could be performed with a hundredth of the explanation. No knowledge was lost-only inefficient rules. And yet five hundred years after the deserved death of the Roman numerals, Pike still included them and expected his readers to be able to translate them into Arabic numerals and vice versa even though he gave no instructions for how to manipulate them. In fact, nearly two hundred years after Pike, the Roman numerals are still being taught. My little daughter is learning them now. But why? Where's the need? To be sure, you will find Roman nu­ merals on cornerstones and gravestones, on clock-faces and on some public buildings and documents, but it isn't used for any need at all. It is used for show, for status, for antique flavor, for a craving for some kind of phoney classicism. I dare say there are some sentimental fellows who feel that knowl­ edge of the Roman numerals is a kind of gateway to history and culture; that scrapping them would be like knocking over what is left of the 34 FANTASY AND SCIENCE FICTION Parthenon, but 1 have no patience with such mawkishness. We might as well suggest that everyone who learns to drive a car be required to spend some time at the wheel of a Model T Ford so he could get the flavor of early car-dom. Roman numerals? Forget iti-And make room instead for new and valuable material. But do we dare forget things? Why not? We've forgotten much; more than you imagine. Our troubles stem not from the fact that we've for­ gotten; but that we remember too well; we don't forget enough . . A great deal of Pyke's book consists of material we have imperfectly forgotten. That is why the modern arithmetic book is shorter than Pike. And if we could but perfectly forget, the modern arithmetic book could grow still shorter. For instance, Pike devotes many pages to tables; presumably impor­ tant tables that he thought the reader ought to be familiar' with. His fifth table is labelled "cloth measure." Did you know that 2* inches make a "nail?" Well, they do. And 16 nails make a yard; while 12 nails make an ell. No, wait a while. Those 12 nails (27 inches) make a Flemish ell. It takes 20 nails ( 45 inches) to make an English ell, and 24 nails (54 inches) to _make a J:irench ell. Then, 16 nails plus 1% inches (37% inches) make a Scotch ell. Now if you're going to be in the business world and import and ex­ port cloth, you're going to have to know all those ells-unless you can figure some way of getting the ell out of business. Furthermore, almost every piece of goods is measured in its own units. You speak of a firkin of butter, a punch of prunes, a father of lead, a stone of butcher's meat and so on. Each of these quantities weighs a cer­ tain number of pounds (avoirdupois pounds, but there are also troy pounds and apothecary pounds and so on) and Pike carefully gives all the equivalents. Do you want to measure distances? Well, how about this: 7 92/100 inches )llake 1 link; 25 links make 1 pole; 4 poles make 1 chain; 10 chains make 1 furlong; and 8 furlongs ~ake 1 mile. Or, do you want to measure ale or beer-a very common line of work in Colonial times. You have to know the language, of course. Here it is: 2 pints make a quart and 4 quarts make a gallon. Well, we still know that much anyway. . In Colonial times, however, a mere gallon of beer or ale was but a starter. That was for infants. One had to know how to speak of man­ sized quantities. Well, 8 gallons make a firkin-that is, it makes "a PORGET JTJ 35 firkin of ale in London." It takes, however, 9 gallons to make a "firkin of beer in London." The intermediate quaJttity, 8* gallons, is marked down as a Hfirkin of ale or beer" -presumably outside of the environs of London where the provincial citizens were less finicky in distinguish­ ing between the two. But we go on: 2 firkins (I suppose the intermediate kind, but I'm not sure) make a kilderkin and 2 kilderkins make a barrel. Then 1 *barrels make 1 hogshead; 2 barrels make a puncheon; and 3 barrels make a butt. Have you got all that straight? But let's try dry measure in case your appetite has been sharpened for something still better. Here, 2 pints malte a quart and 2 quarts make a pottle. (No, not bottle, pottle. Don't tell me you've never heard of a pottle!) But let's proceed. Next, 2 potties make a gallon, 2 gallons make a peck and 4 pecks make a bushel. (Long breath now.) Then 2 bushels make a strike, 2 strikes make a coom, 2 cooms make a quarter, 4 quarters make a chal­ dron (though in the demanding city of London, it takes 4% quarters to make a chaldron). Finally, 5 quarters make a wey and 2 weys make a last. I'm not making this up. I'm copying it right out of Pike, page 48. Were people who were studying arithmetic in 1797 expect-ed to mem­ orize all this? Apparently, yes, becaYSe Pike spends a lot of time on compound addition. That's right, compound addition. You see, the addition you consider addition, is just "simple addition." Compound addition is something stronger and I Will now explain it to you. Suppose you have 15 apples, your friend has 1 7 apples and a pass­ ing stranger has I9 apples and you decide to make a pile of them. Having done so, you wonder how many you have altogether. Preferring not to count, you draw upon your college education and pr-epare to add I5 + I 7 + I9. You begin with the units column and find that 5 + 7 + 9 = 2I. You therefore divide 2I by I 0 and find the quo­ tient is 2 plus a remainder of I, so you put down the remainder, 1, and carry the quotient 2 into the tens col-- I seem to hear loud yells from the audience. "What is all this?" comes the fevered demand. ''Where does this 'divide by 10' jazz come from?" Ah, Gentle Readers, but this is exactly what you do whenever yau add. It is only that the kindly souls who Mvised our Arabic system of numeration based it on the number 10 in such a way that when any 36 FANTASY AND SCIENCE FICTION two-digit number is divided by 10, the first digit represents the quo­ tient and the second the remainder. For that reason, having the quotient and remainder in our hands without dividing, we can add automatically. If the units column adds up to 2I, we put down I and carry 2; if it had added up to 57, we would have put down 7 and carried 5, and so on. The only reason this works mind you is that in adding a set of figures, each column of digits (starting from the right and working leftward) represents a value ten times as great as the column before. The ·right­ most column is units, the one to its left is tens, and so on. It is this combination of a number-svstem based on ten and a value ratio from column to column of ten that makes addition very simple. It is for this reason that it is, as Pike calls it "simple addition." Now suppose you have I dozen and 8 apples, your friend has I dozen and I 0 apples and a passing stranger has I dozen and 9 apples. Make a pile of those and add them as follows : I dozen 8 units I dozen I 0 units 1 dozen 9 units Since 8 + IO + 9 = 27, do we put down 7 and carry 2? Not at all! The ratio of the '"dozens" column to the "units" column is not IO but I2, since there are I2 units to a dozen. And since the number system we ar~ using is based on I 0 and not on I2, we can no longer let the digits do ou.r thinking for us: We have to go long way round. If 8 + I 0 + 9 = 2 7, we must divide that sum by ~e ratio of the value of the columns; in this case, I2. We find that 2 7 divided by I2 gives a quotient of 2 plus a remainder of 3, so we put down 3 and carry 2. In the dozens column we get 1 + 1 + 1 + 2 = 5. Our to­ tal therefore is 5 dozen and 3 apples. ·whenever a ratio of other than I 0 is used so that you have to make actual divisions in adding, you have "compound addition." You must indulge in compound addition if you try to add 5 pounds I2 ounces and 6 pounds 8 ounces, for there are I6 ounces to a pound. You are stud{ again, if you add 3 yards 2 feet 6 inches to 1 yard 2 feet 8 inches, for there are I2 inches to a foot, and 3 feet to a yard. You do the former; I'll do the latter. First, 6 inches and 8 inches are 14 inches. Divide I4 by I2, getting I and a remainder of 2, so you put down 2 and carry I. As for the feet 2 + 2 + I = 5. Divide 5 by 3 and get I and a remainder of 2, put down 2 and carry I. In the yards, you have 3 + 1 + I = 5. Your answer, then, is 5 yards 2 feet 2inches. FORGET JT! 37 Now why on earth should our unit-ratios vary aD over the lot, when our number system is so finnly based on 10? There are many reasons (valid in their time) for the use of odd ratios like 2, 3, 4, 8, 12, 16, and 20, but surely we are now advanced and sophisticated enough to use 10 as the exclusive (or nearly exclusive) ratio. If we could do so, we could with such pleasure forget about compound addition,-and com­ pound subtraction, compound multiplication, compound division, too. (They also exist, of course.) To be sure, there are times when nature makes the universal ten impossible. In measuring time, the day and the year have their lengths fixed for us bv astronomical conditions and neither unit of time can be abandoned.- I once suggested a way of rationalizing time (ABOUT TIME, F & SF, April 1960) but I doubt that any such rationalization will ever be accepted. Compound addition and the rest will have to be retained for such special cases, alas. But who in blazes says we must measure things in firkins and pot­ ties and Flemish ells? These are purely man-made mcast•rcments and we must remember (to paraphase an important Personage of old) that measures were made for man an~ not man for measures. It so happens that there is a system of measurement based exclusively on ten in this world. It is called the metric system (see PRE-FIXING IT UP, F & SF, November 1962) and it is used all &ver the civilized world except for certain English-speaking nations such as the United States and Great Britain. By not adopting the metric system, we waste our time for we gain nothing, not one th,ing, by learning our own measurements. The loss in time (which is expensive indeed) is balanced by not one thing I can imagine. There are those, of course, who object to violating our long-used cherished measures. They have given up comns and chaldrons but imag­ ine there is something about inches and feet and pints and quarts and pecks and bushels that is "simpler" or "more natural" than meters and liters. There may even be people who find something dangerously foreign and radical (oh, for that vanished word of opprobrium, "Jacobin") in the metric system.-Yet it was the United States that led the way. In 1786, ten years before the wicked French revolutionaries designed the metric system, Thomas Jefferson (a notorious Jacobin) saw a sug­ gestion of his adopted by the infant United States. The nation estab­ lished a decimal currency. What we had been using was British currency and that is a fearsome 38 FANTASY AND SCIENCE FICTION and wonderful thing. Just to po;11t out how preposterous it is, let me say that the British people who, over the centuries, have, with monu­ mental patience, taught themselves to endure anything at all provided it was "traditional" -are now sick and tired of their currency and are debating converting it to the decimal system. (They can't agree on the exact details of the change.) But consider the British currency as it is. To begin with, and I hope I have it straight, 4 farthings make I penny; I2 pennies make I shill­ ing, and 20 shillings make I pound. In addition, there is a virtual far­ rago ·of ha'pennies and thruppences and sixpen~es and crowns and half­ crowns and florins and guineas anu heaven knows what other devices with which to cripple the mental development of the British school­ child and line the pocl:ets of British tradesmen ''"·henever tourists come to call and stare helplessly at the coins. Needless to ~ay, Pil~e gives careful instruction on how to manipulate pounds, shillings and pence; and very special instructions they are. Try dividing 5 pounds, I3 shillings, 7 pence by 3. Quid{ now! In the United States, the money system, as originally established, is as follows: I 0 mills make I cent; I 0 cents make I dime; I 0 dimes make I dollar; IO dolb!.'s malce I eagle. Actually, modem Americans, in their calculations, stick. to dollars and cents only. The result? American money can be expressed in decimal form and can be treated as can any other decimals. An American child who has learned decimals need only be taught to recognize the dollar sign and he is all set. In the time that he does that a British child has barely mastered the fact that thruppence ha'penny equals 14 farthings. What a pity that when, ten years later, the metric system came into being, our original anti-British, pro-french feelings had not lasted just long enough to allow us to adopt it. Had we done so, we would have been so happy to forget our foolish pecks and ounces. Just as we are now happy to have for~otten our pence and shillings. After all would you like to go bar:k to British currency in preference to our own? What l would like to see is one form of money do for all the world. Everywhere. Why not? I appreciate the fact that I may be accused because of this of wanting to pour humanity into a mold, and of being a conformist. Of course, I am not a conformist (Heavens!). I have no objection to local customs and local dialects and local dietaries and local views on sex. In fact, I insist on them for I constitute a locality all by myself. I just don't want provincialisms that were well enough in their time but that interfere with human well-being in a world which is 90 minutes in circumference. FORGET IT! 39 If you think provincialism is cute and gives huma~ty color and charm, let me quote to you once more from Pike. ''Federal Money" (dollars and cents) had been introduced eleven years before Pike's second edition and he gives the exact wording of the law that established it and discusses it in detail-under the decimal system and not under compound addition. Naturally since other systems than the Federal were.still in use, rules had to be formulated and given for converting (or "reducing") one sys­ tem to another. Here is the list. I won't give you the actual rules; just the list of reductions that were necessary, exactly as he lists them: I. To reduce New Hampshire, Massachusetts, Rhode Island, Con- necticut and Viiginia currency: I. To Federal l\loney 2. To New York and North Carolina eurrencv 3. To Pennsylvania, New Jersey, Delaware' and 1\-faryland currency 4. To South Carolina and Georgia currency 5. To En~lish money 6. To Irish money 7. To Canada and Nova Scotia currency 8. ToLivresTourmlis (French money) 9. To Spanish milled dollars. II. To reduce Federal Money to New England and Virginia cur~ rency. IO. To reduce New Jersey, Pennsylvania, Delaware and Maryland eurrency: I. T~ New Hampshire, Massachusetts, Rhode Island, Connecticut and Virginia currency 2. ToNewYorkand- Oh, the heck with it. You get the idea. Can any one possibly be sorry that all that cute provincial flavor has vanished? Are you sorry that every time you travel out of state, you don't ha\'e to throw yourself into fits of arithmetical discomfort when~ ever you want to make a purchase? Or into similar fits every time some~ one from another state invades yours and tries to dicker with you? What a pleasure to have forgotten all that. Then tell me what's so wonderful about having fifty sets of marriage and divarce laws?

In 1752, Great Britain and her colonies (some two centuries later than Cathctlic Europe) abandoned the Julian Calendar and adopted the astronomically more correct Gregorian calendu. Nearly half a cen- 40 FANTASY AND SCIENCE FICTION tury later, Pike was still gmng rules for solving complex calendar­ based problems for the Julian calendar as well as for the Gregorian. Isn't it nice to have forgotten the Julian calendar? Wouldn't it be nice if we could forget most of calendrical complica­ tions by adopting a rational calendar that would tie the day of the month firmly to the day of the week and have a single three-month calendar serve as a perpetual one, repeating itself over and over every three months. There is a World Calendar proposed which would do just this. It would enable us to do a lot of useful forgetting.

I would like to see the English language come into world-wide use. Not necessarily as the only language or even as the major language. It would just be nice if everyone-whatever his own language was-could also speak English fluently. It would help in comml!lnications and per­ haps, eventually, everyone would just choose to speak English. That would save a lot of room for other things. Why English? Well, for one thing more people spca]{ English as either first or second language than any other language on Earth, so we have a headstart. Secondly far more science is reported in English than in any other language and it is comunication in science that is critical today and will be even more critical tomorrow. To be sure, we ought to make it as easy as possible for people to speak English, which means we should rationalize its spelling and grammar. English, as it is spelled today, is almost a set of Chinese idiograms. No one can be sure how a word is pronounced by looking at the letters that make it up. How do you pronounce: rough, through, though, rough, hiccough, and Iough; and why is it so terribly necessary to spell all those sounds with the mad letter combination "ough." It looks funny, perhaps, to spell the words mff, throo, thoh, cawf, hiccup, and lokh; but we already write hiccup and it doesn't look funny. We spell colour, color, and centre, center and sh~w, show and grey, gray. The result looks funny to a Britisher but we are med to it. We can get used to the rest, too, and save a lot of wear and tear on the brain. We would ail becnme more intelligent, if intelligence is meas­ ured by proficiency at spelling, and we'll not have lost one thing. And grammar? Who needs the eternal hair-splitting arguments about "shall" and "will" or "which" and "that." The uselessness of it can be demonstrated by the fact that virtually no one gets it straight anyway. Aside from losing valuable time, blunting a child's reasoning faculties, and instilling him or her with a ravening dislike for the English lan­ guage, what do you gain? FORGET JTJ 41 If there be some who think that such blurring of fine distinctions will ruin the language, I would like to point out that English, bef0re the grammarians got hold of it, had managed to lose its gender and its de­ clensions almost everywhere except among the pronouns. The fact that we have only one definite article (the) for all genders and cases and times instead of three as in French (le, la, les) or six, I think, as in Ger­ man (der, die, das, dem, den, des) in no way blunts the English lan­ guage which remains an admirably flexible instrument. \iVe cherish our follies only because we are used to them and not because they are not really follies. \Ve must make room for expanding knowledge, or at least make as much room as possible. Surely it is as important to forget the old and useless, as it is to learn the new and important. Forget it, I say, forget it more and more. Forget it! But why am I getting so excited? No one is listening to a word I say.

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CHAPTER 1 tiny black eyes and wonderful em­ eralds, talking bad French at the IT wAs LADY WINDERMERE's top of her voice and laughing im­ last reception before Easter, and moderately at everything that was Bentinck House was even more said to her. It was certainly a won­ crowded than usual. Six cabinet derful medley of people. Gorgeous ministers had come on from the peeresses chattered affably to vio­ Speaker's Levee in their stars and lent Radicals, popular preachers ribands, all the pretty women wore brushed coat-tails with eminent their smartest dresses, and at the sceptics, a perfect bevy of bishops end of the picture-gallery stood the kept following a stout prima donna Princess Sophia of Carlsruhe, a from room to room, on the stair­ heavy Tartar-looking lady, with case stood several royal academi- 42 LOltD AR.THUlt SAVlLE's CRIME 43 cians, disguised as artists, and it She was now Eorty years of age, was said that at one time the sup­ childless, and with that inordinate per-room was absolutely crammed passion for pleasure which is the with geniuses. In fact, it was one secret of remaining young. of Lady Windermere's best nights, Suddenly she looked eagerly and t.he Princess stayed till nearly round the room, and said, in her half-past eleven. clear contralto voice, "Where is my As soon as she had gone, Lady cheiromantist?" \Vindermere returned to the pic­ "Your what, Gladys?" ex­ ture-gallery, where a celebrated claimed the duchess, giving an in­ political economist was solemnly voluntary start. explaining the scientific theory of "My cheiromantist, Duchess; I music to an indignant virtuoso can't live without him at present." from Hungary, and began to talk "Dear Gladys! you are always so to the Duchess of Paisley. She original," murmured the duchess, looked wonderfully beautiful with trying to remember what a cheiro­ her grand ivory throat, her large, mantist really was, and hoping it blue, forget-me-not eyes, and her was not the same as a cheiropodist. heavy coils of golden hair. Or pur "He comes to see my hand twice they were-not that pale straw a week regularly," continued Lady colour that nowadays usurps the \Vindermere, "and is most inter­ gracious name of gold, but such esting about it." gold as is woven into sunbeams or "Good heavens!" said the duch­ hidden in strange amber-and ess to herself, "he is a sort of cheir­ they gave to her face something of opodist after all. How very dread­ the frame of a saint, with not a lit­ ful. I hope he is a foreigner at any tle of the fascination of a sinner. rate. It wouldn't be quite so bad She was a curious psychological then." study. Early in life she had dis­ "I must certainly introduce him covered the important truth that to you." nothing looks so like innocence as "Introduce him!" cried the an indiscretion, and by a series of duchess; "you don't mean to say he reckless escapades, half of them is here?" and she began looking quite harmless, she had acquired about for a small tortoise-shell fan all the privileges of a personality. and a very tattered lace shawl, so She had more than once changed as to be ready to go at a moment's her husband-indeed, Debrett notice. credits her with three marriages~ "Of course he is here; I would but as she had never changed her not dream of giving a party with­ lover, the world had long ago out him. He tells me I have a pure c~ased to talk scandal about her. psychic hand, and that if my 44 FANTASY AND SCIENCE FICTION thumb had been the least little 'Well, he is not a bit like a bit shorter, I shttuld have been a cheiromantist. I mean he is not confirmed pessimist and gone into mysterious, or esoteric, or roman­ a convent." tic-looking. He is a little, stout "Oh, X see!" said the duchess, man, with a funny bald head, and feeling very much relieved; "he great gold-rimmed spectacles­ tells fortunes, I suppose?" something between a family doc­ "And misfortunes, too," an­ tor and a country attorney. I'm swered Lady Windermere; "any really very sorry, but it is not my amount of them. Next year, for in­ fault. People are so annoying. All stance, I am in great danger, both my pianists look exactly like poets, by land and sea, so I am going to and all my poets look exactly like live in a balloon and draw up my pianists; and I remember last sea­ dinner in a basket every evening. son asking a most dreadful con­ It is all written down on my little spirator to dinner, a man who had finger, or on the palm of my hand blown up ever so many people, and -I forget which." always wore a coat of mail, and "But surely that is tempting carried a dagger up his shirt­ Providence, Gladys." sleeve; and so you know that when "My dear Duchess, surely Prov­ he came he looked just like a nice idence can resist temptation by old clergyman, and cracked jokes this time. I think every one should all the evening? Of course, he was have their hands told once a very amusing and all that, but I month, so as to know what not to was awfully disappointed; and do. Of course, one does it all the when I asked him about the coat same, but it is. so pleasant to be of mail, he only laughed and said warned. Now, if some one doesn't it was far too cold to wear in Eng­ go and fetch Mr. Podgers at once, land. Ah, here is Mr. Podgers! I shall have to go myself." Now, Mr. Podgers, I want you "Let me go, Lady ¥lindermere," to tell the Duchess of Paisley's said a tall, handsome young man hand. Duchess, you must take who was standing by, listening to your glove off. No, not the left the conversation with an amused hand, the other." smile. "Dear Gladys, I really don't "Thanks so much, Lord Arthur; think it is quite right," said the but I am afraid you wouldn't rec­ duchess, feebly unbuttoning a ognize him." rather soiled kid glove. "If he is as wonderful as you "Nothing interesting ever is," say, Lady Windermere, I couldn't said Lady Windermere: "on a fait miss him. Tell me what he is like, le monde ainsi. But I must intro­ and I'll bring him to you at once." duce you. Duchess, this is Mr. LORD ARTHUR SAVILE's CRIME 45 Podgers, my pet cheiromantist. "And now he has twelve houses Mr. Podgers, this is the Duchess of and not a single castle," cried Paisley, and if you say that she Lady Windermere. has a larger mountain of the moon "Well, my dear," said the than I have, I will never believe in Duchess, "I like-" vou agam.. .. "Comfort," said ·Mr. Podgers, · "I am sure, Gladys, there is "and modem improvements, and nothing of the kind in my hand," hot water laid on in every bed­ said the duchess gravely. room. Your Grace is quite right. "Your Grace is quite right," said Comfort is the only thing our civi­ Mr. Podgers, glancing at thelittle lization can give us." fat hand With its short square fin­ "You have told the duchess's gers, "the mountain of the moon is character admirably, Mr. Podgers, not developed. The line of life, and now you must tell Lady Flor­ however, is excellent. Kindly bend a's"; and in answer to a nod from the wrist. Thank you. Three dis­ the smiling hostess, a tall gid, with tinct lines on t11e rascette I You Sandy hair and high shoulder­ will live to a great age, Duchess, blades, stepped awkwardly from and be extremely happy. Ambition behind the sofa and held out a -very moderate, line of intellect long bony hand with spatulate not exaggerated, line of heart-" fingers. "Now, do be indiscreet, Mr. "Ah, a pianist! I see," said Mr. Pbdgers," cried Lady Winder­ Podgers, "an excellent pianist, but mere. perhaps hardly a musician. Very "Nothing would give me greater reserved, very honest, and with a pleasure," said Mr. Podgers, bow­ great love of animals." ing, "if the duchess ever had been, "Quite true!" exclaimed the but I am sorry to say that I see great duchess, turning to Lady Winder­ permanence of affection, com­ mere, ''absolutely true! Flora keeps bined with a strong sense of duty." two dozen collie dogs at Mados­ "Pray go on, Mr. Podgers," said kie, and would tum our town the duchess, looking quite pleased. house into a menagerie if her father "Economy is not the least of would let her." your Grace's virtues," continued "Well, that is just what I do Mr. Podgers, and Lady Winder­ with my house every Thursday eve­ mere went off into fits of laughter. ning," cried Lady Windermere, "Economy is a very good thing," laughing, "only I like lions better remarked the duchess complacent­ than collie dogs." ly; "when I married Paisley, he "Your one mistake, Lady Win­ had eleven castles and not a single dermere," said Mr. Podgers, with house fit to live in." a pompous bow. 46 FANTASY AND SCIENCE FICTIOK "If a woman can't make her bright beady eyes; and when he mistakes charming, she is only a told poor Lady Fermor, tight out female," was the answer. "But you before every one, that she did not must read some more hands for care a hit for music, but was ex­ us. Come, Sir Thomas, shGw Mr. tremely fond of musicians, it was Podgers yours"; and a genial-look­ generally felt that cheiromancy ing old gentleman, in a white was a most dangerous science, and waistcoat, came forward and held one that ought not to be encour­ out a thick rugged hand with a very aged, except in a tete-a-tete. long third finger. Lord Arthur Savile, however, "An adventurous nature; four who did not know anything about long voyages in the· past, and one Ladr Fermor's unfortunate story, to come. Been shipwrecl.ed three and who had been watching Mr. times. No, onlv twice, but in dan­ Podgers with a great deal of inter­ ger of a shipw~eck your next jour­ est, was filled with an immense ney. A strong Conservative, very curiesity to have his own hand read, punctual, and with a passion for and feeling somewhat shy about collecting curiosities. Had a severe putting himself forward, crossed illness between the ages of sixteen over the room to where Ladv Win­ and eighteen. Was left a fortune dermere was sitting and, ~ith a when about thirtv. Great aversion charming blush, asked her if she to cats and Radi~als." thought Mr. Podgers would mind. "Extraordinarv!" exclaimed Sir "Of course he won't mind," said Thomas; "you n;ust really tell my Lady Windermere; "that is what wife's hand, tc~." he is here fer. All my lions, Lord "Your scmnd wife's," said Mr. Arthur, are performing lions, and Podgers quietly, still keeping Sir jumping through hoops whenever Thomas's hand in his. "Your sec­ I ask them. But I must warn you ond wife's. I s:ball be charmed"; beforehand that I shall tell Sybil but Lady l\Iarvel, a melancholy­ everything. She is corning to lunch looking woman, with brown hair with me to-morrow ta talk about and sentimental eyelashes, entirely bonnets, and if Mr. Podgers finds declined to ha,·e her past or her out that you have a bad temper, or future exposed; and nothing that a tendency to gout, or a wife living Lady Windermere could do would in Bayswater, I shall certainly let induce Monsieur de Koloff, the her know all about it." Russian ambassader, even to take Lord Arthur smiled and shook his gloves off. In fact, many peo­ his head. "I am not afraid," he an­ ple seemed afraid tQ face the odd swered. "Sybil knows me as well little man with his stereotyped as I know her." smile, his gold spectacles, and his "Ah! I am a little sorry to hear LORD AllTHUR SAVU.E'S CRIME 47 you say that. The proper basis for way they had when he was puz­ marriage is a mutua] misunder­ zled. Then some huge beads of standing. No, I am not at all cyni­ perspiration broke out on his· yel­ cal, I have merely got experience, low forehead, like a poisonous which, however, is very much the dew, and his fat fingers grew cold same thing. Mr. Podgers, Lord Ar­ and clammy. thur Savile is dying to have his Lord Arthur did not fail to no­ hand read. Don't telJ him that he tice these strange signs of agita­ is engaged to one of the most beau­ tion, and, for the first time in his tiful girls in London, because that life, he himself felt fear. His im­ appeared in the lHorning Post a pulse was to rush from the room, month ago." but he restrained himself, It. was "Dear J;,ady \Vindermere," cried better to know the worst, whatever the Marchioness of Jedburgh, "do it was, than to be left in this hide­ Jet Mr. Podgers stay here a little ous uncertainty. longer. He has just told me I "I am waiting, Mr. Podgers," he should go on the stage, and I am said. so ir:.terested." "\Ve are alJ wait:ng," cried lady "If he has told you that, Lady Windermere, in her quick impa­ Jedburgh, I shalJ certainly take tient manner, but the cheiroman­ him away. Come mrer at once, tist made no reply. 1\h. Podgers, and read Lord Ar­ "I belieYe Arthur is going on the thur's hand." stage," said Lady Jedburgh, "and "WeJI," said Lady Jedburgh, that, after your scoldil~~. Mr. making a little moue as she rose Podsers is afraid to tell him so." from the sofa, "if I am not to be Suddenly Mr. Podgers drcpped allowed to go on the stage, I must Lord Arthur's right hand and be allowed to be part of the au­ seized hold of his left, bending dience at any rate." down so low to examine it tl1nt the "Of course; we are all going to gold rims of his spectacles scen:ed be part of the audience," said I.ady almost to touch the palm. For a \Vindermere; "and now, Mr. Pod­ moment his face became a white gers, be sure and telJ us something mask of horror, but he soon recov­ nice. Lord Arthur is one of my ered his sangfroid and, looidng up special favourites." at Lady Windermere, said with a But when Mr. Podgers saw Lord forced smile, "It is the hand of a Arthur's hand, he grew curiously charming young man." pale and said nothing. A shudder "Of course it is!" answered Lady seemed to pass through him, and \Vindermere, "but wiJl he be a his great bushy eyebrows twitched charming husband? That is what I convulsively, in an odd, irritating want to know." 48 FANTASY AND SCIENCE l'ICTIOK ..All charming young men are," I do wish General Boulanger said Mr. Podgers. would keep quiet. Duchess, I am "I don't think a husband should sure you are tired?" be too fascinating," murmured "Not at all, dear Gladys," an­ Lady Jedburgh pensively; "it is so swered the duchess, waddling to­ dangerous." wards the door. "I have enjoyed "My dear child, they never are myself immensely, and the chei­ too fascinating," cried Lady \Vin­ ropodist-I mean the cheiroman­ dermere. "But what I want are de­ tist-is most interesting. Flora, tails. Details are the only things where can my tortoise-shell fan that interest. What is going to hap­ be-? Oh, thank you, Sir Thomas, so pen to Lord Arthur?" much. And mv lace shawl, Flora? 'Well, within the next few Oh, thank yo~, Sir Thomas, very months Lord Arthur will go on a kind, I'm sure"; and the worthy voyage--" creature finally managed to get "Oh yes, his honeymoon, of downstairs without dropping her course!" scent-bottle more than twice. "And lose a relative." All this time Lord Arthur Savile "Not his- sister, I hope?" said had remained standi~g by the fire­ Lady Jedburgh, in a piteous tone place, with the same feeling of of voice. dread over him, the same sicken­ "Certainly not his sister," an­ ing sense of coming evil. .He swered Mr. Podgers, with a dep­ smiled sadlv at his sister as she recating wave of his hand, "a dis­ swept past. him on Lord Plym­ tant relative merelv." dale's arm, looking lovely in her "Well, I am dr~adfully disap­ pink brocade and pearls, and he pointed," said Lady VVindermcre. hardlv heard Ladv \Vindermere "I have absolutely nothing to tell when. she called to' him to follow Sybil tomorrow. No one cares her. He thought of Sybil 1\'lerton, about distant relatives nowadays. and the idea that anything could Thev went out of fashion vears come between them made his eyes ago." However, I suppose she. had dim with tears. better have a black silk by her; it Looking at him, one would have always docs for church, you know. said that Nemesis had stolen the And now let us go to supper. They shield of PaJlas and shown him arc sure to have eaten everything the Gorgon's head. He seemed up, but we may find some hot turned to stone, and his face was soup. Francois used to make excel­ like marble in its melancholy. He lent soup once but he is so agitated had lh-ed the delicate and luxuri­ about politics at present that I ous life of a young man of birth neYer feel quite certain about him. and fortune, a life exquisite in its LORD AllTHUJl SAVILE's ClliME 49 freedom from sordid care, its "The duchess has left one of her beautiful boyish insouciance, and gloves here, Lord Arthur, and has now for the first time he became asked me to bring it to her," said conscious of the terrible mystery Mr. Podgers finally. "Ah, I see it of destiny, of the awful meaning on the sofa! Good evening." of doom. "Mr. Podgers, I must insist on Hmv mad and monstrous it all your giving me a straight-forward seemed! Could it be that written answer to a question I am going to on his hand, in characters that he put to you." could not read himself, but that "Another time, Lord Arthur, another could decinher, was some but the duchess is anxious. I am fearful secret of sin, some blood­ afraid I must go." red sign of crime? \Vas there no "You shall not go. The duchess escape possible? Were we no bet­ is in no hurry." ter than chessmen, moved by an "Ladies should not be kept wait­ unseen power, vessels the potter ing, Lord Arthur," said Mr. Podg­ fashions at his fancy, for honour ers, with his sicklv smile. "The fair or for shame? His reason revolted sex is apt to be impatient." against it, and yet he felt that Lord Arthur's finely chiselled some tragedy was hanging over lips curled in petulant disdain. him, and that he had been sud­ The poor duchess seemed to him denly called upon to bear an in­ of very little importance at that tolerable burden. Actors are so for­ moment. He walked across the tunate. They can choose whether room to where Mr. Podgers was they will appear in tragedy or in standing, and held his hand out. comedy, whether they will suffer "Tell me what you saw there," or make merry, laugh or shed tears. he said. "Tell me the truth. I must But in real life it is different. Most know it. I am not a child." men and women are forced to per­ Mr. Podgers's eyes blinl{ed be­ form parts for which they have no hind his gold-rimmed spectacles, qualifications. Our Guildenstems and he moved uneasily from one play Hamlet for us, and our Ham­ foot to the other, while his fingers lets have to jest like Prince Hal. played nervously with a flash The world is a stage, but the play watch-chain. is badly cast. "What makes you think that I Suddenly Mr. Podgers entered saw anything in your hand, Lord the room. \Vhen he saw Lord Ar.: Arthur, more than I told you?" thur, he started, and his coarse fat "I know you did, and I insist on face became a sort of greenish­ your telling me what it was. I will yellow colour. The two men's eyes pay you. I will give you a cheque rnet, and there was silence. for a hundred pounds." 50 FANTASY AND SCII!~ PICTION The green eyes flashed for a mo­ CHAPTER 2 ment, and then became dull again. "Guineas?" said Mr. Podgers at TEN MINUTES LATER, WITH last, in a low voice. face blanched by terror and eyes "Certainly. I will send you a wild with grief, Lord Arthur Savile cheque to-morrow. What is your rushed from Bentinck House, club?" crushing his way through the "I have no club. That is to say, crowd of furcoated footmen that not just at present. My address is stood round the large striped awn­ -but allow me to give you my ing, and seeming not to see or hear card"; and producing a bit of gilt­ anything. The night was bitter edge pasteboard from his waist­ cold, and the gas-lamps round the coat pocket, Mr. Podgers handed square flared and flickered in the it, with a low bow, to Lord Ar­ keen wind, but his hands were hot thur, who read on it with fever and his forehead burned like fire. On and on he went, almost with the gait of a Mr. SEPTIMUS R. PODGERS drunken man. A policeman looked Professional Cheiromantist curiously at him as he passed, and 103a West Moon Street a beggar, who slouched from an archway to ask for alms, grew "My hours are from ten to four," frightened, seeing misery greater murmured Mr. Podgers mechani­ than his own. Once he stopped cally, "and I make a reduction for under a lamp and looked at his families." hands. He thought he could detect "Be quick," cried Lord Arthur, the stain of blood already upon looking vecy pale and holding his them, and a faint cry broke from hand ouL his trembling lips. Mr. Podgers glanced nervously Murder! That is what the chei­ round and drew the heavy portiere romantist had seen there. Murder! across the door. The very night seemed to know it, "It will take a little time, Lord and the desolate wind to howl it in Arthur. You had better sit down." his ear. The dark corners of the "Be quick, sir," cried Lord Ar­ streets were full of it. It grinned at thur again, stamping his foot an­ him from the roofs of the houses. grily on the polished floor. First he came to the park, whose Mr. Podgers smiled, drew from sombre woodland seemed to fasci­ his breast-pocket a small magnify­ nate him. He leaned wearily up ing glass, and wiped it carefully against the railings, cooling his with his hancTherchief. brow against the wet metal aRd lis­ '1 am quite ready," he said. tening to the tremulous silence of LOitD AtlTHUJI. SAVILJ!1S CJI.IME 51 the trees. ..Murder! murder!" he arabesques of waving shadows. kept repeating, as though iteration Far into the distance curved the could dim the horror of the word. line of Bickering gas-lamps, and The sound of his own voice made outside a little walled-in house him shudder, yet he almost hoped stood a solitary hansom, the driver that Echo might hear him and asleep inside. He walked hastily in wake the slumbering city from its the direction of Portland Place, dreams. He felt a mad desire to now and then looking round, as stop the casual passer-by and tell though he feared that he was be­ him everything. ing followed. At the corner of Rich Then he wandered across Ox­ Street stood two men, reading a ford Street into narrow shameful small bill upon a hoarding. An alleys. Two women with painted odd feeling of curiosity stirred faces mocked at him as he went by. him, and he crossed over. As he From a dark court-yard came a came near, the word ".Murder," sound of oaths and blows, fol­ printed in black letters, met his lowed by shrill screams, and, hud­ eye. He started, and a deep flush dled upon a damp door-step, he came into his cheek. It was an ad­ saw the crook-hacked forms of vertisement offering a reward for poverty and eld. A strange pity any information leading to the ar­ came over him. Were these chil­ rest of a man of medium height, dren of sin and misery predes­ between thirty and forty years of tined to their end, as he to his? age, wearing a billycock hat, a Were they, like him, merely the black coat, and check trousers, and puppets of a monstrous show? with a scar upon his right cheek. And yet it was not the mystery, He read it over and over again, but the comedy of suffering that and wondered if the wretched man struck him; its absolute uselessness, would he caught, and how he had its grotesque want of meaning. been scarred. Perhaps, some day, How incoherent everything his own name might be placarded seemed! How lacking in all har­ on the walls of London. Some day, mony! He was amazed at the dis­ perhaps, a price would be set on cord between the shallow opti­ his head also. mism of the day and the real facts The thought made him sick of existence. He was still very with horror. He turned on his heel young. and hurried on into the night. After a time he found himself Where he went he hardly knew. in front of Marylebone Church. He had a dim memory of wander­ The silent roadway looked like a ing through a labyrinth of sordid long riband of polished silve1, houses, of being lost in a giant flecked here and there by the dark web of sombre streets, and it was 52 FANTASY AND SCIENCE FICTION bright dawn when he found him­ from morn to eve. Probably it was self at last in Piccadilly Circus. As to them merely a mart where they he strolled home towards Belgrave brought their fruits to sell, and Square, he met the great waggons where they tarried for a few hours on their way to Covent Garden. at mast, leaving the streets still si­ The white-smocked carters, with lent, the houses stil1 asleep. It gave their pleasant sunburned faces him pleasure to watch them as and coarse curly hair, strode stur­ they went by. Rude as they were, dily on, cracking their whips and with their heavy hob-nailed shoes calling out· now and then to each and their awkw~rd gait, they other; on the back of a huge grey brought a little of Arcady with horse, the leader of a jangling them. He felt that they had lived team, sat a chubbv bov, with a with Nature and that she had bunch of primroses -in hi-s battered taught them peace. He envied hat, keeping tight hold of the them all that they did not know. mane with his little hands and By the time he had reached Bel­ laughing; and the great piles of grave Square, the sky was a faint vegetables looked like masses of blue and the birds were beginning jade against the morning sky, like to twitter in the gardens. masses of green jade against the pink petals of some marvelious CHAPTER 3 rose. Lord Arthur felt curiously af­ fected, he could not tell whv. WHEN LORD ARTHUR WOKE IT There was something in the was twelve o'clock, and the mid­ dawn's delicate lm•eliness that day sun was streaming through seemed to him inex~resdbly pa­ the ivory-silk curtains of his room. thetic, and he thought of all the He got up and looked out of the days that break in beauty and that window. A dim haze of heat was set in storm. These rustics, too, hanging over the great city, and with their rough, good-humoured the roofs of the houses were like voices and their nonchalant wavs, dull silver. In the flic.kering green what a strange London they sa~v! of the square below, some children A London free from the sin of were flitting about like white but­ night and the smoke of day, a terflies, and the pavement was pallid ghostlike city, a desolate crowded with people on their way town of tombs! He wondered what to the park. Never had life seemed they thought of it, and whether lovelier to him; never had the they knew anything of its splen­ things of evil seemed more remote. dour and its shame, of its fierce, Then his valet brought him a fiery-coloured joys and its horrible cup of chocolate on a tray. After hunger, of all it makes and mars he had drunk it, he drew aside a LORD ARTHl:R SAVIU.'S CRIME 53 heavy portiere of peach-coloured there was a touch of Greek grace plush and passed into the bath­ in her pose and attitude. Yet she room. The light stole softlv from was not petite. She was simply above, through thin slabs of trans­ perfectly proportioned-a rare parent onyx, and the water in the thing in an age when so manJ' marble tank glimmered like a women are either over life-size or moonstone. He plunged hastily in, insignificant. till the cool ripples touched throat Now as tord Arthur looked at and hair, and then dipped his her, he was filled with the terrible head right under, as though he pity that is born of love. He felt would have wiped away the stain that to marry her, with the doom of some shameful memorv. \Vhen of murder hanging over his head, he stepped out, he felt ~lmost at would be a bctraval like that of peace. The exquisite physical con­ Judas, a sin worse than any the ditions of the moment had domi­ Borgia had ever dreamed of. What nated him-as, indeed, often hap-­ happiness could there be for them pens in the case of very finely when at any moment he might be wrought natures, for the senses, called upon to carry out the awful like fire, can purify as well as de­ prophecy written in his hand? strov. What manner of life would be After breakfast, he flung him­ theirs while Fate still held this self down on a divan and lit a cig­ fearful fortune in the scales? The arette. On the mantel-shelf, marriage must be postponed, at all framed in dainty old brocade, costs. Of this he was quite re­ stood a large photograph of Sybil soh•ed. Ardently though he loved ~1erton, as he had seen her first at the girl-and the mere touch of lady Noel's ball. The small, ex­ her fingers, when they sat togeth­ quisitely shaped head drooped er, made each nerve of his body slightly to one side, as t~ugh the thrill with exquisite joy-he rec­ thin reedlikc throat could hardly ognized none the less clearly bear tlfe burden of so much beau­ where his duty lay, and was fully ty; the lips n·cre slightly parted, conscious of the fact that he had and seemed made for sweet mu­ no right to marry until he had sic; and all the lender purity of committed the murder. This done, girlhood looked out in wonder he could stand before the altar from the dreaming eyes. \Vith her with Sybil Merton· and give his soft clinging dress of crepe-de­ life into her hands without terror chiue and her large, leaf-shaped of wrong-doing. This done, he fan, she looked like one of those could take her to his arms, know­ delicate little figur~ men find in ing that she would never have to the olive-woods near Tanagra; and blush for him, never have to hang 54 FANTASY AND SCIENCE FICTION her head in shame. But done it Life to him meant action, rather must be first; and the sooner the than thought. He had that rarest better for both. of all things, common sense. Many men in his position The wild turbid feeling of the would have preferred the prim­ previous night had by this time rose path of dalliance to the steep completely passed away, and it heights of duty, but Lord Arthur was almost with a sense of shame was too conscientious to set pleas­ that he looked back upon his mad ure above principle. There was wanderings from street to street, more than mere passion in his his fierce emotional agony. The love, and Svbil was to him a svm­ very sincerity of his sufferings bol of all that is good and n0hle. made them seem unreal to him For a moment he had a natural re­ now. He wondered how he could pugnance against what l~e was have been so foolish as to rant and asked to do, but it seen pa$Eed rave about the inevitable. The away. His heart_ told him that it only question that seemed to trou­ was not a sin, but a sacrifice; his ble him was, whom to make away reason reminded him that thre with; for he was not blind to the was no other cour~e open. He had fact that murder, like the reli'!ions to choose between living for him­ of the pagan world, requires ~·vic­ self and -living for olhers, and ter­ tim us well as a priest. Not being a rible thouv.h the task !aill uryon Hm genius. he had no enemies; and, undoubtedly was, yet he knew indeed, he felt that this was not that he must not suffer selfisl>ress the time for the gratification of to triumph oYer love. Sooner or any personal piqGe or dis!il:e, the later we are all cal!ed upcn to de­ missicn in which he was engaged cide on the same issue-of us all, being one of grcnt and grave so­ the same question is asked. To lemnity. He accordingly made out Lord Arthur it came earlv in life­ a list of his friends and re!atives before his nnture had be'en spoiled on a sheet of note-paper, and after by the calculating cynicism of careful consideration, decided in middle age, or his heart corroded favour of Lady Clementina Beau­ by the shallow fashionable eeo­ champ, a dear old lady who lived tism of our dav, and he felt no in Curzon Street ami was his own hesitation about doing his duty. second cousin by 1-.is mother's side. Fortunately also, for him, he was He had always been very fond of no mere dreamer, or idle dilet­ Lady Clem, as every one called tante. Had he been so, he would her, and as he ·was very wealthy have hesitated, like HamJet, · and himself-having come into all let irresolution mar his purpose. Lord Rugby's property when he But he was essentially practical. came of age-there was no possi- LORD ARTHUR SAVILE's CRIME 55 bUity of his deriving any vulgar him, and besides, he was very anx­ monetary advantage by her death. ious not to murder Lady Clemen­ In fact, the more he thought over tina in any way that might attract the matter, the more she seemed public attention, as he hated the to him to be just the right person, idea of being lionized at Lady and, feeling that any delay would 'Vindermere's, or seeing his name be unfair to Sybif, he determined figuring in the paragraphs of vul­ to make his arrangements at once. gar society newspapers. He had The first thing to be done was, also to think of Svbii's father and of course, to settle with the chei­ mother, who wer~ rather old-fash­ romantist; so he sat down at a ioned people, and might possibly small Sheraton writing-table that object to the marriage if thece was stood near the window, drew a anything like a scandal, though he cheque for £105 payable to the felt certain that if he told them the order of Mr. Septimus Podgers, whole facts of the case they would and, enclosing it in an envelope, be the very first to appreciate the told his valet to tal{e it to West motives that had actuated him. Moon Street. He then telephoned He had every reason, then, to de­ to the stables for his hansom, and cide in. favour of poison. It was dressed to go out. As he was leav­ safe, sure, .and quiet, and did away ing the room, he looked back at with any necessity for painful Sybil Merton's photogpap~ and scenes, to which, like most Eng­ swore tltat, come what may, he lishmen, he had a rooted objec­ would never let her know what he tion. was doing for her sake, but would Of the science of poisons, how­ keep the secret of his self-sacrifice ever, he knew absolutely nothing, hidden always in his heart. and as the waiter seemed quite un­ On his way to the Buckingham, able to find anything in the li­ he stopped at a florist's, and sent brary but Ruff's Guide and Bai­ Svbil a beautiful basket of narcis­ ley's Magazhze, he examined the s~s. with lively white petals and book-shelves himself, and finalty staring pheasants' eyes, and on ar­ came across a handsomelv bound riving at the club, went straight to edition of the PharmacO]J~eia and the library, rang the bell, and or­ a copy of Erskine's Toxicology, dered the waiter to bring him a edited by Sir :Mathew Reid, the lemon-and-soda, and a hoek on President of the Royal College of toxicology. He had fully decided Physicians and one of the oldest that poison was the best means to members of the Buckingham, hav­ adopt in this troublesome busi­ ing been elected in mistake for ness. Anything liice personal vio­ somebody else-a contretemps lence was extremely distasteful to that so enraged the Committee 56 FANTASY AND SCIENCE FICTION that when the real man came up knowledge of toxicology, and had they blackballed him unanimously. the prescription made up immedi­ Lord Arthur was a good deal puz­ ately. zled at the technical terms used in Lord Arthur put the capsule both books, and had begun to re­ into a pretty little silver bonbon­ gret that he had not paid more at­ niere that he saw in a shop win­ tention to his classics at Oxford, dow in Bond Street, threw away when in the second volume of Pestle and Humbey's ugly pill-box, Erskine, he found a very interest­ and drove off at once to Lady ing and complete account of the Clemen tina's. properties of aconitine, written in "Wel1, momieur le mauvats fairly clear English. It seemed to sujet," cried the old lady as he en­ him to be exactly the poison he tered the room, "why haven't you wanted. It was swift-indeed, al­ been to see me all this time?" most immediate in its effect-per­ "My dear Lady Clem, I never fectly painless, and whel'l. taken in have a moment to myself," said the form of a gelatine capsule, the Lord Arthur, smiling. mode recommended by Sir Math­ "I suppose you mean that you ew, not by any means unpalatable. go about all day long with Miss He accordingly made a note, upon Sybil Merton, buying chiffons and his sllirt-cu.ff, of the amount nec­ talking nonsense? I cannot under­ essary for a fatal dose, put the stand why people make such a fuss books back in their places, and about being married. In my day strolled up St. James's Street to we never dreamed of billing and Pestle and Humbey's, the great cooing in. public, or in private for chemists. Mr. Pestle, who always that matter." attended personally on the aris­ "I assure you I have not seen tocracy, was a good deal surprised Sybil for twenty-four hours, Lady at the order, and in a very deferen­ ·c!em. As far as I can make out, tial manner murmured something she belongs entirely to her mil­ about a medical certificate being liners." necessary. However, as soon as "Of course; that is the onlv rea­ Lord Artlmr explained to him that son you come to see an ugly old it was for a large Norwegian mas­ woman like myself. I wonder you tiff that he was obliged to get rid men don't take warning. On a fait of, as it showed signs of incipient des folies pour moi, and here I am, rabies and had already bitten the a poor rheumatic creature with a coachman twice in the calf of the false front and a bad temper. leg, he expressed himself as being Why, if it were not for dear Lady perfectly satisfied, complimented Jansen, who sends me all the Lord Arthur on his wonderful worst French novels she can find, I LORD ARTHUR SAVILE1S CtttME 57 don't think I could get through the However, I'D keep :It till my next day. Doctors are no use at all, ex~ attack." cept to get fees out of one. They "And when will that be?" asked can't even cure my heartburn." Lord Arthur eagerly. "Will it be "I have brought you a cure for soon?" that, Lady Clem," said Lord Ar­ "I hope not for a week. I had a thur gravely. "It is a wonderful very bad time yesterday morning thing, invented by an American." with it. But one never knows." "I don't think I like American "You are sure to have one be­ inventions, Arthur. I am quite sure dare the end of the month then, I don't. I read some American nov­ Lady Clem?" els lately, and they were quite non~ "I am afraid so. But how sym~ sensical." pathetic you are to-day, Arthur! "Oh, but there is no nonsense Really, Sybil has done you a great at all about this, Lady Clem! I as~ deal of good. And now you must sure you it is a perfect cure. You run away, for I am dining with must promise to try it"; and Lord some very dull people who won't Arthur brought the little box out talk scandal, and I know that if I of his pocket and handed it to her. don't get my sleep now I shall 'Well, the box is charming, Ar­ never be able to keep awake dur~ thur. Is it really a present? That is ing dinner. Good~bye, Arthur. very sweet of you. And is this the Give my love to Sybil, and thank wonderful medicine? It looks like you so much for the American a bonbon. I'll take it at once." medicine." "Good heavens! Lady Clem," ''You won't forget to take it, cried Lord Arthur, catching hold Lady Clem, will you?" said Lord of her hand, "you mustn"t do any~ Arthur, rising from his seat. thing of the kind. It is a homoe~ "Of course I won't, you silly pathic medicine, and if you take it boy. I think it is most kind of you without having heartburn, it might to think of me, and I shall write do you no end of harm. Wait till and tell you if I want any more." you have an attack, and take it Lord Arthur left the house in then. You will be astonished at the high spirits and with a feeling of result." immense relief. "I should like to take it now," That night he had an interview said Lady Clementina, holding up with Sybil Merton. He told her to the light the lit~le transparent how he had been suddenly placed capsule, with its flgating bubble of in a position of terrible difficulty, liquid aconitine. "I am sure it is from which neither honour nor delicious. The fact is that, though duty would allow him to recede. I hate doctors, I lo,•e medicines. He told her that the marriage 58 FANTASY AXD SCIENCE FICTION must be put off for the present, as his yacht. The two young men until he had got rid of his fearful spent a delightful fortnight to­ entanglements, he was not a free gether. In the morning they rode man. He implored her to trust him, on the Lido, or glided up and and not to have any doubts about down the green canals in their the future. Everything would come long black gondola; in the after­ right, but patience was necessary. noon they usually entertained visi­ The scene took place in the con­ tors on the yacht; and in the eve­ servatory of Mr. Merton's house, in ning they dined at Florian's and Park Lane, where Lord Arthur had smoked innumerable cigarettes on dined as usual. Sybil had never the Piazza. Yet somehow Lord Ar­ seemed more happy, and for a mo­ thur was not happy. Every day he ment Lord Arthur had been tempt­ studied the obituary column in the ed to play the coward's part, to Times, expecting to see a notice of write to Lady Clementina for the Lady Clementina's death, but ev­ pill, and to let the marriage go on ery day he was disappointed. He as if there was no such person as began to be afraid that some acci­ Mr. Podgers in the world. His bet­ dent had happened to her, and of­ ter nature, however, soon asserted ten regretted that he had prevented itself, and even when Sybil flung her taking the aconitine when she herself weeping into his arms, he had been so anxious to try its ef­ did not falter. The beautv that fect. Sybil's letters, too, though stirred his senses had touched his full of love, and trust, and tender­ conscience also. He felt that to ness, were often very sad in their wreck so fair a life for the sal\e of a tone, and sometimes he used to few months' pleasure would be a thin], that he was parted from her wrong thing. to do. for ever. He stayed with Sybil till nearly After a fortnight Lord Surgiton midnight, comforting her and be­ got bored with Venice and deter­ ing comforted in turn, and early mined to run down the coast to the next morning he left for Ven­ Ravenna, as he heard that there ice, after writing a manly, firm was some capital cock-shooting in letter to Mr. Merton about the the Pinetum. Lord Arthur at first necessary postponement of the refused absolutely to come, but m3;1Tiage. Surbiton, of whom he was ex­ tremely fond, finally persuaded CHAPTER 4 him that if he stayed at Danielli's by himself he would be moped to IN VENICE HE MET HIS BROTH­ death, and on the morning of the er, Lord Surbiton, who happened 15th they started, with a strong to have come over from Corfu in nor'-east wind blowing and a rath- 59 er choppy sea. The sport was ex­ Once, but, of course, there was cellent and the free open-air life nothing to be done, and she was brought the colour back to Lord to be buried on the 2 2nd at Beau­ Arthur's cheek, but about the champ Chalcote. A few days be­ 2 2nd he became anxious about fore she died she had made her Lady Clementina, and, in spite of will, and left Lord Arthur his lit­ Surbiton's remonstrances, came tle house in Curzon Street and all back to Venice by train. her furniture, personal effects, and As he stepped out of his gon­ pictures, with the exception of her dola on to the hotel steps, the pro­ collection of miniatures, which prietor came forward to meet him was to go to her sister, Lady Mal" with a sheaf of telegrams. Lord Ar­ garet Rufford, and her amethyst thur snatched them out of his hand necklace, which Sybil Merton was and tore them open. Everything to have. The property was not of had been successful. Lady Clemen­ much value, but Mr. Mansfield, tina had died quite suddenly on the solicitor, was extremely anx­ the night of the 17th! ious for Lord Arthur to return at His first thought was for Sybil, once, if possible, as there were a and he sent her off a telegram an­ great many bills to be paid, and nouncing his immediate return to Lady Clementina had never kept London. He then ordered his valet any regular accounts. to pack his things for the night Lord Arthur was very much mail, sent his gondoliers about touched by Lady Clementina's five times their proper fare, and kind remembrance of him, and ran up to his sitting-room with a felt that Mr. Podgers had a great light step and a buoyant heart. deal to answer for. His love of There he found three letters wait­ Sybil, however, dominated every ing for him. One was from Sybil other emotion, and the conscious­ herself, full of sympathy and con­ ness that he had done his duty dolence. The others were from his gave him peace and comfort. mother and from Lady Clemen­ When he arrived at Charing tina's solicitor. It seemed that the Cross, he felt perfectly happy. old lady had dined with the duch­ The Mertons received him very ess that very night, had delighted kindly. Sybil made him promise every ohe by her wit and esprit, that he would never again, allow but had gone home somewhat anything to _come between them, early, complaining of heartburn. and the marriage was fixed for tl1e In the morning she was found 7th June. Life seemed to him once dead in her bed, having appar­ more bright and bea,utiful, and all ently suffered no pain. Sir Math­ his old gladness came back to him ew Reid had been sent for at again. 60 FANTASY AND SCIENCE FICTION One day, however, as he was "There is one in it, that is all. It going over the house in Curzon looks quite old and dusty, and I Street, in company with Lady have not the slightest intention of Clementina's solicitor and Sybil eating it. What is the matter, Ar­ herself, burning packages of faded thur? How white you lookf' letters and turning out drawers of Lord Arthur rushed across the odd rubbish, the young girl sud­ room and seized the box. Inside it denly gave a little cry of delight. was the amber-coloured capsule, "What have you found, Sybil?" with its poison-bubble. Lady Clem­ said Lord Arthur, looking up from entina had died a natural death his work and smiling. after all! "This lovely little silver bon­ The shock of the discovery was bonniere, Arthur. Isn't it quaint almost too much for him. He and Dutch? Do give it to me! I flung the capsule into the fire, and know amethysts won't become me sank on the sofa with a cry of de­ till I am over eighty." spair. It was the box that had held the aconitine. CHAPTER 5 Lord Arthur started, and a faint blush came into his cheek. He had MR. MERTON WAS A GOOD DEAL almost entirely forgotten what he distressed at the second postpone­ had done, and it seemed to him a ment of the marriage, and Lady curious coincidence that Sybil, for Julia, who had already ordered her whose sake he had gone through dress for the wedding, did all in all that terrible anxiety, should her power to make Sybil break off have been the first to remind him the match. Dearly, however, as of it. Sybil loved her mother, she had "Of course you can have it, given her whole life into Lord Ar­ Sybil. I gave it to poor Lady Clem thur's hands, and nothing that myself." Lady Julia could say could make "Oh! thank you, Arthur; and her waver in her faith. As for Lord may I have the bonbon too? I had Arthur himself, it took him days no notion that Lady Clementina to get over his terrible disappoint­ liked sweets. I thought she was far ment, and for a time his nerves too intellectual." were completely unstrung. His ex­ Lord Arthur grew deadly pale, cellent common sense, however, and a horrible idea crossed his soon asserted itself, and his sound mind. practical mind did not leave him "Boubon, Sybil? What do you long in doubt about what to do. mean?" he said in a slow hoarse Poison having proved a complete voice. failure, dynamite, or some other LORD ARTHUR SAVILE's CRIME 61 form of explosive, was obviously hilist agent, and there was no the proper thing to try. doubt that the Russian Embassy He accordingly looked again did not look with any favour upon over the list of his friends and rela­ his presence in London. Lord Ar­ tives, and, after careful considera­ thur felt that he was just the man tion, determined to blow up his for his purpose, and drove down uncle, the Dean of Chichester. one morning to his lodgings in The Dean, who was a man of great Bloomsbury to ask his advice and culture and learning, was extreme­ assistance. ly fond of clocks, and had a won­ "So you are blking up politics derful collection of timepieces, seriously?" said Count Houvaloff, ranging from the fifteenth cen­ when Lord Arthur had told him tury to the present day, and it the object of his mission~ but Lord seemed to Lord Arthur that this Arthur, who hated swagger of any hobby of the good Dean's offered kind, felt bound- to admit to him him an excellent opportunity for that he had not the slightest in­ carrying out his scheme. vVhere to terest in social questions and sim­ procure an explosive machine was, ply wanted the explosive machine of course, quite another matter. for a purely family matter, in The London Directory gave him which no one was concerned but no information on the point, and himself. he felt that there was very little Count Rouvaloff looked at him use in going to Scotland Yard for some moments in amazement, about it, as they never seemed to and then seeing that he was quite know anything about the move­ serious, wrote an address on a ments of the dynamite faction till piece of paper, initialled it, and after an explosion had taken place, handed it to him across the table. and not much even then. "Scotland Yard would give a Suddenly he thought of -his good deal to Imow this address, my friend Rouvaloff, a young Rus­ dear fellow." sian of very revolutionary tenden­ "They sha'n't have it," cried cies, whom he had met at Lady Lord Arthur, laughing; and after Windermere's in the winter. shaking the young Russian warmly Count Rouvaloff was supposed to by the hand, he ran downstairs, be writing a life of_ Peter the examined the paper, and told the Great, and to have come over to coachman to drive to Soho Square. England for the purpose of study­ There he dismissed him, and ing the documents relating to that strolled down Greek Street till he Tsar's residence in this country as came to a place called Bayle's a ship carpenter, but it was gen­ Court. He passed under the arch­ erally suspected that he was a ni- way, and found himself in a curl- 62 FANTAST AND SCIENCE. FICTIOJ~; ous cul-de-sac that was apparently well. Do you mind sitting with me occupied by a French laundry, as while I finish my breakfast? There a perfect network of clothes-lines is an excellent pate, and my was stretched across from house to friends are kind enough to say house and there was a flutter of that my Rhine wine is better than white linen in the morning air. any they get at the G~rman Em­ He walked right to the end and bassy," and before Lord Arthur knocked at a little green house. had got over his surprise at being After some delay, during which recognized, he found himself seat­ every windGw in the court became ed in the back-room, sipping the a blurred mass of peering faces, most delicious Marcobrunner out the door was opened by a rather of a pale yellow hockglass marked rough-looking foreigner, who with the Imperial monogram and asked him in very bad English chatting in the friendliest manner what his business was. Lord Ar­ possible to the fameus conspirator. thur handed him the paper Count "Explosive clocks," said Herr Rouvaloff had given him. When Winekelkopf, "are not very good the man saw it, he bowed and in­ things for foreign exportation, as, vited Lord Arthur into a very even if they succeed in passing the shabby front parlour on the Custom House, the train service is ground floor, and in a few mo­ so irregular that they usually ge off ments Herr \Vinckclkopf, as he before they have reached their was called in England, bustled proper destination. If, however, into the room, with a very wine­ you want one for h(}me use, I can stained napkin round his neck and supply you with an excellent ar­ a fork in his left hand. ticle, and guarantee that you will "Count Rouvaloff has given me be satisfied with the result. May I an introduction to you," said Lord ask for whom it is intended? If it Arthur, bowing, "and I am anx­ is for the police, or for any one ious to have a short interview with connected with Seotland Yard, I you on a matter of business. My am afraid I cannot do anything for name is Smith, !'vir. Robert Smith, you. The English detectives are and I want you to supply me with really our best friends, and I have an explosive clock." always found that by relying on "Charmed to meet you, Lord their stupidity, we can do exactly Arthur," said the genial little Ger­ what we like. I could not spare man, laughing. "Don't look so one of them.". alarmed; it is my duty to know ev­ "I assure you," said Lord Ar· erybody, and I remember seeing thur, "that it has nothing to do you one evening at Lady Winder­ with the police. The clock is in-­ mere's. I hope her ladyship is quite tended for the Dean of Chichester." LORD AllTHUJl SAVILl!'S CJliMB 63 "Dear mel I had no idea that the moment of the explosion, say you felt so strongly about religion, Friday at noon exactly. The dean Lord Arthur. Few young men do is always at home at that hour." nowadays." "Friday, at noon," repeated "I am afraid you overrate me, Herr Winckelkopf, and he made a Herr Winckelkopf," said Lord Ar­ note to that effect in a large· ledger thur, blushing. "The fact is, I real­ that was lying on a bureau near ly know nothing about theology." the fireplace. "It is a purely private matter "And now," said Lord Arthur, then?" rising from his seat, "pray let me "Purely private." know how much I am in your Herr Winckelkopf shrugged his debt." shoulders and left the room, re­ "It is such a small matter, Lord turning in a few minutes with a Arthur, that I do not care to make round cake of dynamite about the any charge. The dynamite comes size of a penny and a pretty little to seven and sixpence, the clock French clock surmounted by an wilJ be three pounds ten, and the ormolu figure of Liberty trampling carriage about five shillings. I am on the hydra of Despotism. only too pleased to oblige any Lord Arthur's face brightened friend of Count Rouvaloff's." up when he saw it. "That is just "But your trouble, Herr Winc­ what I want," he cried; "and now kelkopf?:' tell me how it goes off." "Oh, that is nothing! It is a "Ah! there is my secret," an­ pleasure to me. I do not work for swered Herr Winckelkopf, con­ money; I live entirely for my art." templating his invention with a Lord Arthur laid down £4, 2s. justifiable look of pride; "let' me 6d. on tl1e table, thanked the little know when you wish it to· explode, German for his kindness, and, and I will set the machine to the having succeeded in declining an moment." invitation to meet some Anarchists "WeiJ, to-day is Tuesday; and if at a meat-tea on the following you could send it off at once--" Saturday, ]eft the house and went "That is impossible; I have a off to the park. great deal of important work on For the next two days he was in hand for some friends of mine in a state of the greatest excitement, Moscow. StilJ, I might send it off and on Friday at twelve o'clock he to-morrow." drove down to the Buckingham to "Oh, it wiJl be quite time wait for news. All the afternoon enough!" said Lord Arthur polite­ the stolid ~alJ-porter kept posting ly, "if it is delivered to-morrow up telegrams from various parts of night or Thursday morning. For the country giving the results of 64 FANTASY A!I \'OU so much for the flan­ everything is so adulterated now­ nel for the Dorcas Society, and also adays that even dynamite can for the gingham. I quite agree with hardly be got in a pure condition. you that it is nonsense their wanting The little German, however, while to wear pretty things, but everybody admitting that something must Js so Radical and irreligious nowa- LORD ARTHUR SAVILE's CRIME 65 days, that it is difficult to make them they should do a great deal of good, see that they should not try and dress as they sh~w that Liberty can't last, like the upper classes. I am sure I but must fall down. Papa says Uberty don't know what we are coming to. was invented at tl1e time of the French As Papa has often said in his sermons, Revolution. How awful it seems! we live in an age of unbelief. I have now to go to the Dorcas where I will read them your most in: We have had great fun over a clock structive letter. How true, dear Aunt, that an unknown admirer sent Papa your idea is, that in their rank of life last Thursday. It arrived in a wooden tlley should wear what is unbecoming. box from· London, carriage paid, and I must say it is absurd, their anxiety Papa feels it must have been sent by about dress, when there are so many some one who had read his remark­ more important things in this lvorld able sermon, "Is Licence Liberty?" for on the top (}f the clock was a figure and in the next. I am so glad your of a woman, with what Papa said was flowered poplin turned out so well, and tllat your lace was not torn. I the cap of Liberty on her head. I didn't think it very becoming myself, am wearing my yellow satin, that you so kindly gave me, at the Bishop's on but Papa said it was historical, so I W ednesqay, and think it will look all suppose it is all right. Parker un­ right. Would you have bows or not? packed it, and Papa put it on the man­ telpiece in the library, and we were Jennin~s says that every one wears bows now, and that the under-skirt all sitting there on Friday morning should be frilled. Reggie has just had when, just as the clock struck twelve another explosion, and Papa has or­ we heard a whirring noise; a little puff dered tl1e clock to be sent to tile of smoke came from the pedestal of stables. I don't think Papa likes it so the figure, and the goddess of Liberty much as he did at first, though he is fell off and btoke her nose on the very flattered at being sent such a fender! Maria was quite alarmed, but pretty and ingenious toy. It shows it looked so ridiculous that James and that people read his sermons and I went off into fits of laughter, and profit by them. even Papa was amused. When we ex­ Papa sends his love, in which amined it, we found it was a sort of James, and Reggie, and Maria all alarum clock,.and tl1at, if you set it to unite, and, hoping that Uncle Cecil's a particular hour, and put some gun­ powder and a cap under a little ham­ gout is better, believe me, dear Aunt, ever your affecitonate niece, mer, it went off whenever you wanted. Papa said it must not remain in the }ANE PERCY. PS.-Do tell me about the bows. library, as it made a noise, so Reggie carried it away to the schoolroom and Jennings insists tlley are the fashion. does nothing but have small explo­ sions all day long. Do you think Lord Arthur looked so serious Arthur would like one for a wedding and unhappy over the letter that present? I suppose they are quite the duchess went into fits of laugh­ fashion~ble in London. Papa says ter. _ FANTASY 1\'ND 8Cli.NCE J'ICTION "My dear Arthur," she cried, "I was brought he left them, Invent­ shall never show you a young ing some engagement in order to lady's letter again! But what shall get away. As he was going out of I say about the clock? I think it is the club, the hall-porter handed a capital invention, and I should him a letter. It was from Herr like to have one myself." Winckelkopf, asking him tG call "I don't think much of them," down the next evening and look said Lord Arthur, with a sad at an explosive umbrella that went smile, and, after kissing his moth­ off as soon as it was opened. It was er, he left the room. the verv latest invention, and had When he got upstairs, he flung just ar;ived from Geneva. He tore himself on a sofa, and his eyes the letter up into fragments. He filled with tears. He had done his had made up his mind not to try best to commit this murder, but on any more experiments. Then he both occasions he had failed, and wandered down to the Thames through no fault of his own. He Embankment and sat for hours by had tried to do his duty, but it the river. The moon peered seemed as if Destiny herself had through a mane of tawny clouds, turned traitor. He was oppressed as if it were a lion's eye, and in­ with the sense_ of the barrenness of numerable stars spangled the hol­ gooo intentions, of the futility of low vault, like gold dust pow­ trying to be fine. Perhaps it would detoed on a purple dome. Now and be better to break off the marriage then a barge swung out into the altogether. Sybil would suffer, it is turbid stream and fteated awav true, but suffering could not really with the tide, and the railway sig­ mar a nature so noble as hers. As nals changed from green to scarlet for himself, what did it matter? as the trains ran shrieking across There is always some war in which the bridge; After . some time, a man can die, some cause to twelve o'clock boomed from the which a man can give his life, and tall tower at \Vestminster, and at as life halil no pleasure for him, so each stroke of the sonorous bell the death had no terror. Let Destiny night seemed to tremble. Then the work out his doom. He would not railway lights went out, one soli­ stir to help her. tary lamp left gleaming like a large At half-past seven he dressed ruby OR a giant mast, and the roar and went down to the club. Surbi­ of the city became fainter. ton was there with a party of At two o'clock he got up and young men, and he was obliged to strolled towards Blackfriars. How dine with them. Their trivial con­ unreal everything looked~ How versation and idle jests did not m­ like a strange dream! The houses terest him, and as soon as coffee on the other side of the river LORD ARTHUR SAVILE's CRIMI. 67 ieemed lnuk out of dadmess. One ''Have you dropped anything, wollld have said that silver and sk?" said a voiQe behind him sud­ shadow had fashioned the world denly. anew. The huge dome of St. He turned l'OURd and saw a po­ Paul's loomed like a bubble liceman with a bull's--eye lantern. threugh the dusky air. "Nothing of impormnce, Ser­ As he approached Cleepatra's geant," he answered, smiling, and Needte he saw a man leaning over hailing a passing hansom, he the parapet, aRd as he came uell!'­ jumped in and k>ld the man to er the man looked up, tlte gas-light drive to Be.Ig.ave Sc)uare. falling tull upon his fate. For the nen few days he alter­ It was Mr. Podgers, the chei­ nated between hope and fear. romaDti!t! No one could llliBtak-e There were :moments when he al­ the fat _ftabby face, the gold­ most expected Mr. PodgaJ:S to rimmed spectacles, the siddy fee­ walk into the resm, aRd yet at oth­ ble smtle, tM sensual mouth. er times he felt that F~e ca.ld not Lord Arthur stopped. A bril­ be so unjust to him. Trice he went liant idea Bashed aeross him, and to the clteiromantist's address in he stole softly vp belWtd. ID a mo­ West MoOfl Street, but he Cfmld ment be bed sebed Mr. Podgers :qot bring himself to Ping cbe bell. by the legs aad ftua.g him iDto the He longed for eerta.inty, and was Thames. There was a coarse oadl, afraid of it. a heavy splash, ad all was sull. Finally it came. He was sitting Lord Arthsr looked amriot~sly (Wer, in the smoking-room of the dub, but could see natbililg of tbe c:hei­ having tea· and listening rarher romantist but a tall hat, pirouet­ wearily to S.rbiton's acanmt of ting in an eddy of moonlit water. the last comit: song at the Gaiety, After a time it also saRk, and no when the wariter came in with the trace of Mr. Poelgers was vi&ible. evening papers. He tfllok up the St. Once he thought that he ca~ht James's, and was listlessly turning siJht of the b1o1lky misshapen fig­ OTer its pages, when this strange ure striking out for the stair£ase "by hooding caught his eye: the bridge, and a horrible feeling of failure came over him, "but it SuiCIDE OF A CHEIROMANTIST turned out to be merely a reflec­ tion, and when the moon shone He turned pale with excite­ out from behiDd a cloud, it passed meat md began to read. The para­ away. At last he seemed to halVe graph ran as follows: realized the decree of destiny. He heaved a deep sigh of relief, and Yesterday morning, at Ieven Sybil's name came to his lips. o'clock, the body of Mr. Sepdmua R. 68 JIANTAST AND ICIENC. JIIC'I'IOJf Podgen, the eminent cheiromantfst, Peter's was crowded with a per­ was washed on shore at Greenwich, fect mob of smart people. The just in front of the Ship Hotel. The service was read in the most im­ unfortunate gentleman had been pressive manner by the Dean of missing for some days, and consider­ Chichester, and everybody agreed able anxiety for his safety had been that they had never seen a hand­ felt in cheiromantic circles. It is sup­ posed that he committed suicide un­ somer couple than the bride and der the influence of a temporary bridegroom. They were more than mental derangement, caused by over­ handsome, however-they were work, and a verdict to that effect was happy. Never for a single moment returned this afternoon by the coro­ did Lord Arthur regret all that he ner's jury. Mr. Podgers had just com­ had suffered for Sybil's sake, while pleted an elaborate treatise on the sub­ she, on her side, gave him the best ject of the human hand that will things a woman can give to any shortly be published, when it will no man-worship, tenderness, and doubt attract much attenti~n. The de­ love. For them romance was not ceased was sixty-five years of age, and killed by reality. does not seem to have left any rela­ Some years afterwards, whea tions. two beautiful children had been Lord Arthur rushed out of the hom to them, Lady Windermere club with the paper still in his came down on a visit to Alton hand, to the immense amazement Priory, a lovely old place that had of the hallporter who tried in vain been the duke's wedding present to to stop him, and drove at once to his son; and one afternoon as she Park Lane. Sybil saw him from the was sitting with Lady Arthur un­ window, and something told her der a limetree in the garden, that he was the bearer of good watching the little boy and girl as news. She ran down to meet him, they played up and down the rose­ and when she saw his face, she walk, like fitful sunbeams, she knew that all was well. suddenly took her hostess's hand ••My dear Sybil," cried Lord Ar­ in hers, and said, "Are you happy, thur, "let us be married to-mor­ Sybil?" row!" "Dear Lady Windermere, of "You foolish boy! Why, the course I am happy. Aren't you?" cake is not even ordered!" said "I have no time to be happy, Sybil, laughing through her tears. Sybil. I always like the last per­ son who is introduced to me; but, CHAPTER 6 · as a rule, as soon as I know peo­ ple, I get tired of them." WHEN THE WEDDING TOOK "Don't your lions satisfy you, place some three weeks later, St. Lady Windermere?" LORD ARTHUR SAVILE's CRIME 69 "Oh dear, no! Lions are ol\ly here he Is"; and Lord Arthur came good for one season. As soon as up the garden with a large bunch their manes are cut, they are the of yellow roses in his hand, and dullest creatures going. Besides, his two children dancing round they behave very badly, if you are him. · really nice to them. Do you re­ "Lord Arthur?" member that horrid Mr. Podgers? "Yes, Lady Windermere." He was a dreadful impostor. Of "You don't mean to say that you course, I didn't mind that at all, believe in cheiromancy?" and even when he wanted to bor­ "Of course I do," said the young row money I forgave him, but I man, smiling. could not stand his making love to "But why?" me. He has really made me hate "Because I owe to it all the hap­ cheiromancy. I go in for telepathy piness of my life," he murmured, now. It is much more amusing." tl1rowing himself into a wicker "You mustn't say anything chair. against cheiromancy here, Lady "My dear Lord Arthur, what do Windermere; it is the only subject you owe to it?" that Arthur does not like people to "Sybil," he answered, handing chaff about. I assure you he is his wife the roses and looking into quite serious over it." her violet eyes. "You don't mean to say that he "What nonsense!" cried Lady believes in it, Sybil?" \Vindermere. "I never heard such "Ask him, Lady Windermere, nonsense in all my life."

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THE WORLD's MOST PRECIOUS fresh water, leaving the dissolved mineral is becoming in short sup- solids behind. Several demonstra­ ply. This mineral is water, and it tions plants have been built in this is growing scarce in many parts of country to try out different distilla­ the world. As long ago as 19 52 the tion processes. The second ap­ United States government opened proach involves electric dialysis. a major research and development In this process an electric current program to overcome the fast- drives sodium, chloride, and oth­ growing shortage. That program is er ions through a plastic mem­ bigger than ever now, and most of brane, leaving fresh water behind. it is devoted to the purification of The third and latest approach is sea water. the freeze-separation process. This \Vater in the oceans runs about one works on the principle that 3.3 to 3.5 percent by weight dis- salt is largely excluded from the solved salts. Since fresh water is ice crystals that form when salt defined by the U. S. Public Health water is cooled to the freezing Service as water that contains less point. All three of these processes than 0.005 percent dissolved salts, have some .promise of future sue­ there's your problem. All you have cess. to do is remove some 3.25 to 3.45 But it is possible to wonder if percent dissolved salts. It's an easy maybe the wrong technical people problem to solve, too. Any chemi- are working on the problem. In­ cal engineer can tell you how to stead of chemists, chemical engi­ do it. The trouble is, you have to neers, and people of a few other turn out this fresh water at a price disciplines, maybe what we need somewhere near the current 20 are a few physiologists and bio­ cents per 1,000 gallons cost of chemists. Instead of taking the municipal water, and there's the salt out of the water, part of the rub. problem at least could be solved by There are three different ap- making it possible for people to proaches under test. The first in- drink salt water. Certain sea birds volves distillation or evaporation of have an organ in their heads that 70 71 aids in the discharging of excess a pill of a yet-unknown sequester­ salt. Under unusual comlitions in ing agent that will tie up the the past, men have consumed with­ hai!IBful ions before they can travel out harm ameunts of soo water sup­ v~ far in the bloodstream. And posed to be fatal. Something un­ then we can all go down to the sea known is at work here. Or again, it and have a refreshing drink of sea might be possible for a man to take water.

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INCIDENT IN THE IND

by Harry Harrison

"THANK Gon that's DONE," Adri­ pressed the back of his hand to his ano DuBois' voice bounced harsh­ mouth. "We'll probably have to ly from the tiled walls of the sub­ wait an hour for a train." way passage, punctuated by- the "Don't be so negative, Chester," sharp clack-clack of her high sti­ she said, and her voice had the letto heels. There was a rattling same metallic ring as her heelsteps. rumble as an express train rushed "All the copy is finished now for through the station ahead and a the new account, we'll probably wave of musty air washed over get a bonus, and we can take most them. of the day off .tomorrow. Think "It's aher one A.M." Chester positive like that and you'll feel a said and yawned widely and lot better, I assure you." 72 INCIDENT JN THE IND 73 They reached the turnstile at HThere's something I can tell that moment, before Chester could you now, Chester," she began in think of a snappy answer that her brisk man-to-man voice. "I didn't reek too much of oae o'clock couldn't really mention this be­ in the morning, and he fumbled a fore, since we both were doing the token into the slot. Adriann swept · same work and in one sense com­ through as he probed deepe£ into peti..ag for position. But since his change pocket and discovered JUaisdell's coronary will have him that this had been his last token. out for a couple of weeks I'll be He turned wearily back to the act:iDg copy chief, with some more change booth and muttered two or money to match-" three good, dirty words under his "I heard from the latrine grape­ breath. vine. Congrats-" "How many?" a voice mumbled "-so I'm in a position to pass from the dimness of the barr.ed on a bit of good advice to you. You steel cell. have to push more, Chester, grab "Three, please," he slipped two onto things when they come along quarters in through the tiny win­ " dow. It wasn't that he minded pay­ "Feu chrissake, Adriann, you ing her damn fare, after all she sound like a bad commercial for was a woman, but he wished she crowtled streetcars." would at least say thanks or even "And that sort of thing too. Lit­ nod her head to show that she did­ tle jokes. People begin to think you n't get into subways by divine don't take your work seriously and right. After all they both worked in that is sure death in the ad busi­ the same nutfactory and earned the ness." same money, and now she would "Of course I don't take the work be earning more. He had forgotten seriously-who in their right mind that last little fact for a moment. c&uld?" He heard a rumbling and The slot swallowed his token and looked, but the tunnel was still went chunk and he pushed empty; it must have been a truck through. in the street above. "Are you going "I take the last car," Adriann to tell me that you really care said, squinting nearsightedly down about writing deathless prose the dark and empty tunnel. "Let's about milady's armpits smelling walk back to the end of the plat: the right way by using the right .. fo rm. Stink-go-Way?" "I need the middle of the train," "Don't be \Tlllgar, Chester, you Chester said, hut had to trot after know you can be sweet when you her. Adriann never heard what she want to," she said, taking advan­ didn't need to hear. tage of female reasoning to ignore 74 PANTASY AND ICIENC'II PIC'l'IOK his arguments and to Inject a note in a large city, of people some­ of emotion into a previously logi­ where always close by, yet always cal conversation. cut off. Tired, suddenly depressed, "You're damn right I can be Chester lit a cigarette and inhaled sweet," he said huskily, not ad­ deeply. verse to a little emotion himself. "You're not allowed to smoke in With her mouth shut Adriano was the subway," Adriano said with pretty attractive in a past-thirtyish detached coldness. way. The knitted dress did won­ "I'm not allowed to smoke, nor ders for her bottom, and undoubt­ to give you a little squeeze, to edly the foundation-maker's arti­ make jokes in the office, or to look fice had something to do with the with justified contempt at our cur­ outstanding attraction of her rent client." frontpiece, but more in underpin­ "No you're not," she snapped ning than in padding, he was will­ and leveled a delicate finger with a ing to bet. blood-red nail at him. "And since He shuffled close and slipped you brought it up, I'll tell you his arms around her waist and something else. Other people in patted lightly on the top of her the office have noticed it too, and flank. "I can be sweet and I can this I know. You have been with remember a time when you diqn't the firm longer than I, so they con­ mind being sweet right back." sidered you for the copy chiefs "That's a long time finished, job-and turned you down. And boy," she said in her schoolmarm I was told in utmost confidence voice and peeled his arms away that they are actually considering with a picking-up-worms expres­ letting you go. Does that mean sion. Chester's newspaper fell out anything to you?" from under his arm where he had "It does. It means I have been stuffed it and he bent over mum­ nursing a viper in my bosom. I bling to pick it up from the gritty seem to remember that I got you platform. this job and even had to convince She was quiet for a moment aft­ old Blaisdell that you could do the er this, twisting her skirt around a work. You acted right grateful too, bit and rubbing out the wrinkles at the time-remember those pas­ as if brushing away the contamina­ sionate scenes in the foyer of your tion of his touch. There were no boarding house?" sounds from the street overhead "Don't be a pigl" and the long, dimly lit station was "Now the passion is dead, so Is as silent as a burial vault. They any chance of aJ"aise, and it looks were alone with the strange loneli­ like my job is out the window u ness that can be experienced only well. With dear Adriano for a JNCIDI!NT IN THI! IND 75 friend who needs an enemy • " usual undergarments visible at the "There are things living in the open neck, shoes cracked, split subway, you know." and flapping, darkened skin as The voice was husky and trem­ wrinkled as a mummy's with a pen­ bled, it came suddenly from be­ . cil line of dirt in every crack. His hind them, from what they thought mouth was a dark orifice, the few was the empty platform, startling remammg teeth standing like them both. Adriano gasped and stained tombstones in memory of turned quickly. There was a pool their vanished brothers. Examined of darkness next to the large litter in detail the man was a revolting bin and neither of them had no­ sight, but so commonplace to this ticed the man slumped against the city that he was as much a part of wall, seated there. He struggled to it as the wire trash baskets and the his feet and stepped forward. steaming manholes. "How dare you!" Adriano said "What kind of things?" Chester shrilly, startled and angry. "Hid­ asked while he groped in his pock­ ing there, eavesdropping on a pri­ et for a dime to buy their freedom. vate conversation. Aren't there any Adriano turned her back on them police in this subway?" both. "There are things, you know," "Things that live in the earth," the man said, ignoring her, grin­ the bum said and smiled blearily, ning up at Chester, his head pressing a grimy finger to his lips. twisted to one side. "People who know never talk about He was a bum, one of the it. Don't want to frighten the crimpled horde that splattered out tourists away, no they don't. over New York City when the Scales, ·claws, down here in the Bowery elevated was torn down subway darkness." and light penetrated that clogged "Give him some money-get rid street of human refuse. Photo­ of him-this is terrible.!'' Adriano phobes to a man, they stumbled said shrilly. away seeking dimmer illumina­ Chester dropped two nickels ion. For many of them the into the cupped hand, carefully, gloomed caverns of the subways from a few inches above so he offered refuge, heated cars in the wouldn't have to touch the stained winter, toilet facilities, panhan­ skin. dling prospects, quiet comers for "What do these things do?" he collapsing. This one wore the uni­ asked, not because he really cared form of his trade: shapeless, filthy what the man had to say, but to pants with most of the By buttons annoy Adriano, a touch of the old missing, crumpled jacket tied close sadist nudging him on. with string with a number of un- The bum rubbed the nickles to- 76 FANTASY .MfD ICIBMCB PleTIOM gether in his palm. "They live here, move away, and he recoiled from hiding, looking out, that's what the man's breath as he leaned close they do. You should give them to whisper. "What they really something when you're alone, late like to eat is people, but they won't at night like this, staying near the bother you as long as you leave end of the platform. Pennies are them a little something. Would good, just put them down there at vou like to see one?" the edge where they can reach up · "After this build-up I certainly and get them. Dimes good too, but would." no nickles like you gave me." The bum tottered over to the "You're hearing a very fancy waste-paper receptacle, big as a panhandle story," Adriano said, trunk on end, olive drab metal angry now that her first fright had with two flap doors in the hat-like gone. "Now get away from that old cover. tramp." "Now you just gotta take a quick "Why only pennies and dimes?" look because they don't like to be Chester asked, interested in spite looked at," the man said and gave of himself. It was very black over one of the flaps a push in and let the edge of the platform : any- · go. thing could be hiding there. Chester stepped back, startled. "Pennies because they like pea­ He had had only a glimpse, had he nuts, they work the machines with really seen two glowing red spots pennies when no one is around. in there, a foot apart, monstrous And dimes for the coke machines, eyes? Could there be-no the they drink that sometimes instead whole thing was just too damn sil­ of water. I've seen them ..." - ly. There was the distant rumble "I'm going for a policeman," of a train. Adriano snorted and click-clacked "Great show, dad," he said, and away, but stopped after she had dropped some pennies near the gone about ten yards. Both men edge of the platform. "That'll keep ignored her. them in peanuts for awhile." He "Come on now," Chester smiled walked quickly down to Adriano. at the bum who was running "The spiel got better after you left, trembling fingers through his mat­ the old buzzard swears that one of ted hair, "you can't expect me to the things is hiding there in the believe that. If these things eat trash can. So I left a bribe-just only peanuts there is no reason to in case." buy them off-" "How can you be so stupid-" "I didn't say that was all they You're tired, dear-and your ate!" the grimy hand locked on claws are showing. And you're be­ Chester's sleeve before he could ing repetitive as well." INCIDENT IN THJ! IND 77 The train rattled closer, sweep­ The train shuddered to a halt be~ ing a cloud of dead air before it. hind him. He ran towards the end Musty air, almost like the smel1 of of the platform, digging in his an animal . . . he had never no~ pocket and pulling out all of his ticed that before. loose change. "You are stupid-and supersti~ "Here," he shouted, pushing the tious," she had to raise her voice flap of the waste bin in an inch above the roar of the approaching and pouring the coins through the train. "You're the kind of person gap, "Money. Plenty dimes, pen~ who knocks on wood, and won't nies. Plenty cokes, peanuts. You step on cracks and worries about grab and eat next pen;on who black cats." comes here." "I sure am, because it doesn't Behind him Adriann was laugh~ hurt. There's enough bad luck ing. The train doors shooshed open around--as it is without looking for and the old bum shuffied into the any more. There probably isn't a car. thing in that trash can-but I'm 'That's your Queens' train," nat going to put my arm in there Adriano said, still laughing. "Bet~ to find out." ter take it before the things get ''You're a simple-minded child." you. I'm waiting for the uptown "Oh, am I!" They were both local." shouting now to be heard above "Take this," he said, still angry, the train that was rocking by next holding out his newspaper to her. to them, brakes squealing to a "This is so funny, you're not super~ stop. 'Well let's see you put your stitious-let's see you put this in arm in there." the basket." He jumped for the "Childish!" train doors, catching them just as It was late and Chester was thev closed. tired and his temper was frayed. ''Of course, darling," she called,

IT'S CORRECT TO CLIP I Filling in the eoupon on the next pace offen the foUowinc advantacea 1 I. Guaranteed monthly delivery to yonr door of the best in eeienee fieo tioa and fantasy reading. 2. Reduced rate--it's cheaper to subscribe than to buy your eopiea at the newaatand. 3. An essentially unmarred eopy of thia issue--the coupon is backed up with this box, and ita removal doa not afl'eet the text of abe surrounding materiaL iS JIANTAIY AND SCIENCE JIICTION her face red from laughing. "And swaying as it picked up speed and rn tell the office about it tomor­ he had a last glimpse of her before row-" the doors slid shut cutting the row of pillaPS merged into a off the rest of her wo~;ds. blur that cut off vision completely. The train shuddered a bit and She couldn't possibly be baH­ started to move. Through the dirt­ way into that container, the stained glass he saw her walk to flapped opening certainly wasn't the waste container and shove the big enough for a person to get paper in thr•ugh the flap. One of through. Yet how else to explain the pillars came between them as that he had seen just her skirt and the train picked up speed. legs sticking out, wiggling wildly Then he saw her again and she in the air? still had her hand to the lid -or Of course it had been only a had she poked her arm in up to the blurred glimpse and he was mis­ elbow?-it was hard to tell taken. He turned back to the emp­ through the dirty glass. Then an­ ty car, no, not empty. The bum other pillar, they were beginning slumped in a seat, already asleep. to flicker by. Another glimpse and The ragged man looked up at with the blurred window and the Chestec, gave him a quick, seere­ bad light he couldn't be sure but it tive grin, then closed his eyes looked like she was bent over and again. Chester went to the other had poked her head into the open­ end of the car and sat down. He ing. yawned and scrunched lower. This window was no good. He He could doze until they ran the few steps to the rear of the reached his station; he always car where a larger-and seme­ woke up in time. what cleaner window-was set It would be nice if the copy into the rear door. The train was chiefs job was still open, he could halfway down the platform now, use the extra money.

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WAY STATION, Clifford D. Simak, on Earth-and the (political) Doubleday, $3.50 Galaxy itself commences to crack along its seams, a process acceler· Nice Mr. Simak has this time a ted, ironically, as a result of what written a novel which is better terrestrial suspicion has brought than his last one. Science Fiction, about. Mr. Simak has done quite contemplating its navel, comes up well in his description of the Wis­ again and again with a vision of consin wilderness where Wallace that future day when a represent&· lives, nature in her various moods tive of the Galactic Council visits almost alone still holding him to Earth to make a proposal. Mr. his native world; he has done Simak•s vision is somewhat differ­ equally well with the relations be· ent_;..the visit occurred in the past, tween Wallace and his alien con­ and the proposal was made to only tacts; suspense is fairly well built one man. The story moves on to up; and if the story's final resolu­ the present, via that one man's per· tion seems to me both sentimental son, and the curious-not so much rather than realistic and n~ out of alien as alienated-life he has necessity (does that make sense to been leading ever since. The Earth anybody?), well, that's just how it is not only not a member of the seems to me. Anyway, not a great Galaxy's union, it hasn't even been book, certainly not a minor classic, nominated, doesn't even suspect; it but an honest job of work much seems heading inevitably towards better than most of what's come another major war. Membership out lately. Ronald Fratell has done in the Galaxy ( tenn used here as a the cover, and, like the curate's political and not an astronomical egg, parts of it are very nice. conception) might, Enoch Wallace thinks, hopes, provide the only an­ MR. GEORGE AND OTHER ODD PER• swer. But then two things occur .•• SONS, Stephen Grendon, Arkham suspicion about Wallace and his House, $4.00 ancient old house in the hills of the upper midwest begins to grow These stories were "all written 79 80 PANTASY AND SCIENCE .ICTIOM in one month twenty years ago spe­ down, perceived an enormous and cifically to swell the log of Weird hideous scorpion scuttling across. I Tales," says August Derleth (Ste­ pitched the book at it and achieved, phen Grendon) in his introduc­ I am proud to say, a semi-instan­ tion, sportingly warning the read­ taneous fatality. I cannot there­ er. Who may be certain that the fore consider Mr. George a total themes will all be tried, if not true, failure in the realm of things that that the element of surprise is close go Bump in the night. to nil, and that the few almost­ successes will be spoiled by major nm PURPLE a.oUD, M. P. Shiel, infelicities of style. Considering Paperback Library, 50¢ what WT had become, twenty years ago, these tales may well If M.P. Shiel was the first to use have shone like diamonds on a the notion of the-last-man-alive­ dung-heap; set by themselves now on-Earth, I do not know. The no­ in one of the always attractive tion has, as much as any notion in Arkham House volumes, they have Science Fiction and maybe more the faint, false glitter of rhine­ than most, been since used-mis­ stone. Mr. Derleth's descriptions used -over-used -and infinitely of nature ring true and sweet and abused. And yet this book is still it is too bad that he has neither re­ potent and spll grips the reader ..• worked nor allowed to rest in the so, at least, I found, in reading it urn these over-predictable relics of for the first time, in this edition. his more juvenile days when he In its wealth of detail and rich had written a mere fifty or sixty command of language, it is hard to books instead of the current 107. beat. The basic idea itself is, at The Tsanta In The Parlor con­ this date, nothing: a poisonous tains a genuine passage of shudder cloud of gas circles its way around -which Mr. D., assuming that the globe and kills off the human his public moves its lips when it race; surviving only because he reads, promptly allows to go to happened to be at the almost-un­ waste. The Night Train To Lost touched North Pole, is the narra­ Valley almost makes it, and so does tor, a villain if there ever was one. my favorite, Mrs. Ma.nifold-but It is not the basic idea but what just when the going gets good, in Shiel does with it which com­ comes old Raw Head and Bloody mands admiration, and no review Bones, gibbering and rattling, and could convey this : the book must spoiling it all, damn it.-A foot­ be read. It is worthy to be com­ note : Whilst reading this book I pared 'to the best of H. G. Wells; heard a noise on the fibre mat of thus compared, it comes off the my bedroom floor and, looking loser-Wells's people are real; BOOitl 81 Shiel's are not; Wells has a gen­ Death; David H. Keller's A Piece uine and rational concern for the of Linoleum (unquestionably nei­ human race; Shiel has not. Still, to ther SF nor F); Joseph Payne come behind H. G. Wells and still Brennan's Canavan's Back Yard; be in sight of him at all-! I re­ and Donald Wandrei's The Eye peat: the book must be read. And The Finger. Also here is an insufferably long and tedious WHEN EVIL WADS, August Derleth, thing by John Metcalfe a la Henry ed., Souvenir Press, 21 shillings James, a baffiing one by Frank Belknap Long, a not-bad one by This column seldom if ever re­ Virginia Layefsky, a not-quite by views books printed abroad and for Carl Jacobi, the gibbering and several reasons. We seldom learn xenophobic Horror At Red Hoole of their publication, they are not of H. P. Lovecraft, a dubious often easily available to American Henry S. Whitehead, a Clark Ash­ readers, and it seems more sensible ton Smith mistake, another "col­ to await publication of an Ameri­ laboration" of Lovecraft and Der­ can edition . . . if any. This book, leth-Dunwich, decadence, however, was sent to me for re­ Whateleys, anq what-not-and view, and so I'll assume that near-misses by "Stephen Grendon" though printed in England it is in­ and "Simon West" -i.e. August tended for U.S. publication. Derleth. The Grendon I mention Of the sixteen stories herein, all in my review of his Mr. George; but three are printed "By permis­ the West could have been quite sion of Arkham House." Arkham good except for the author's habit House publishes very diverse mate­ (I hope not incurable) of drop­ rial-some of it first-rate, some of ping in bits of skeletal bones in­ it not-and its editions are so stead of working just a trifle hard­ small that a selection of good ma­ er on the story instead. There is an terial and in (one hopes) a larger effective cover painting by S. R. edition would be welcome. This Boldero. collection reflects the uneven level of Arkham House ingredients. The ANIMAL MIGRATION, Rene Theven· unquestionably best piece­ in, Sun Books (Walker), $3.50 George Hitchcock's An Invitation To The Hunt-is perhaps not SF This is a translation (by Noel or F at all. But only perhaps. And Kenton) of a 1941 French work. a damned good story. Good, though It fails to do justice to a fascinating not that good, are Robert Bloch's and mysterious subject-but so Sweets To The Sweet; H. Russell fascinating and mysterious is the Wakefield's The Triumph of subject that even an inadequate H2 FANTASY AND ICIENCE FICTION beok is better than nQlle, "Ani­ fail, and I can see no other mals" inelados insects, bWds, and grounds at ail. It begins well fisb. DW everybody bm me Jaww eaougb, witlt a rather old-fesh­ that the arresilitg pattern of river ioned flavor like that of d~ayed -oc~aan-river rn~tion aad c:beese, gets off into outer space by breediDg of such fi&h as salmon a device too absmd to be recapitu­ aad :herring corresponds exasNy to lated, and promptly stops being a the full courses of the great novel and bec-omes an allegory­ d10wned rivers of pre-history?­ aDd a damned insmieHble one, when Ute Thames flowed into the too. The late Frank Lloyd Wright Rhine and the Rbine emptied into is said to hMe admired it, and the sea between Scotland and Nor­ maybe admken of that fromn-n.s­ way. There is something almost teld factory lie bequeathed w; on flrighteBiRg, though I can't say Fifth Avenue will admire it, too. why, in the thought t>f these milld­ less eEeatures still following their ALL THE OOLORS OF DARKNESS, way dlreuglt dekas and estuaries Lloyd Bigle, Jr., Deubleday, subme1ged for thousands of years $3.95 froa the lilht of the sun. Science Fiction has little to match it. Boy, they sure have \K!en turn­ ia.g out the olillkers lately. Lloyd nm BENEFAOTOR, Susan Sontag, Biggle, Jr., who is £apable of writ­ Farrar, Straus, $4.50 ing with pen:epti&n, bas here sold hilll6elf short w~ a plodding, bor­ A dull, teoious, pretentious ill£ SF mystery about telepolta­ book about sOiiRebody's dreams. tion and disappearances. The best How these things get pttbliS"hetf is thing about the book is its title. beyond me. Too bad, too bad.

A VOYAGE TO ARCTURUS, David FIFTH PLANET, Fred Heyle and Lindsay, Macmillan, $4.95 Geoffrey Hoyle, Harper, $3.50

In the introduction to this lat­ Fred Hoyle is the astronomer est volume of Macmillan's Library aD.d novelist; of Geoffrey Hoyle of Science Fiction Classics, an­ the blurb tells only that he is Fred t:Aropologist Loren Eisely entreats Hoyle's son. Their first joint ven­ Gur tolerance on the ground that ture into fiction is a sort of When the author "died young"; accord­ Worlds Collide (also a collabora­ ing to the blurb he was almost sev­ tion) minus the collision. The enty at. his death in 1945. The planetiferous star Helios, with its plea must therefore on this ground train of satellites, is due to pass 10 BOOKS 83 near wr solar system that rocket eminent pbiloioglst, has drawn the visitation with one of its satellites umterials for his quite woRderfnl is possible. The Americans are in­ books. Readers and lov~s of his terested, so are the Russians. S0 The Lord af the Rings trilogy must far, nothing new? Alas, true­ be warned that this slender vol­ and nothing newer, f~ther on, ume of poems (with a pleasant either. The mechanical back­ cover by Pauline Ba~s, whose in­ ground, the astronomical back­ terior illustrations I like less) is ground, seem both to sound au­ ostensibly for children. Tom Bom­ thentic; alas, though we are told badil is not my favorite Tolkien that the sociological background of character, I've f.ound him to be a the WC>rld has changed abundantly sort of babbling three-quarters wit, -as it should, the story being set a and the poems here about him hundred and tweB'f-odd years don't much enchant me. Otlaeu, I from now-it is neverthdess the find quite lovely. My attention exact same old world: automo­ was dr~wn to this book by SPB-C­ biles, night-clubs, etc. The story, TJUJtM, an amateur magadne of for all its failures of imaginetion-, Science Fiction book reviews, is not without interest, an interest edited by Mr. Lin Carter-and, as which should be much, much the entrancing verse he selected as !P'eate_r-and would be, if we had· exemplum. proves to be my favorite, n't seen it all before. Professor too, I will quote jt here : Hoyle and his collaborators are ob­ There was a met'fJ)' passenger, viously capable of writing Science a messenger, a mariner: Fiction. Tbey would do well to he built a gilded gondola read more of it. Andrea Foster's to wander in, and had in her jacket desigR, with its shadowy im­ a load of yellow oranges plication of menace, is very good. and porridge for his provender; he perfumed her wlth marjoram and cardamom and lavender THE ADVENTURES OF TOM BOMBADn., J.R.R. Tollden, Houghton Miffiin, They don't hardly write poetry $'3.50 like that anymore. I wish I had a new "novel" by Tolkien to review ". . . and other verses from the -is there anyone who hasn't read Red Book," says the subtitle-The The Hobbit and the Rings trilogy? Red Book of Westmarch being Go out and begin at once this rich those chronicles of Middle Earth and wonderful world; and read from which Professor Tolkien, the slowly-if you can. ~ Aberdeen's ]. T. Mci-ntosh, author of the memorable ONE IN THREE HUNDRED-ONE IN A THOUSAND series ( F&SF. · Feb.1953, ]an.1954), and of, more recently, THE STUPID GEN­ ERAL (Aug. 1962) reports in from Caledonia with a wry tale which demonstrate8 the difficulties of "communication" between Man, Machine, Alien, Alien, and Woman; or, as Magazine SF's Founding Father H. Gernsback puts it, ''Plus ~a change . • ...

HUMANOID SACRIFICE

by J. T. Mcintosh

"I KNOW IT's LAUGHABLE," SAID our technological rating of them Kni, laughing to prove ·it, "but is that when they make .some­ these Earthmen get things done." thing, they make it just good Two thousand miles away, on enough and no better. They're another continent of the planet restless, impatient, lazy. They Psit, Bru sneezed sceptically. don't doublecheck and triple­ "With their technological rating, check as we do, doing a job once how can they?" for all time. Once they find some­ "Well, you see, that's our tech­ thing that works, they let it go at nological rating of them. When that and fix it quite happily when scientists set a test for artists, how it goes wrong. Only if it goes do you reckon the artists are going wrong often and it's a lot of trou­ to rate?" ble to fix it do they figure out "You mean Earthmen are artists something that isn't going to need rather than scientists?" so much fixing." The line crackled for a mo­ Once again Bru sneezed his ment. Kni paused, surprised. Tele­ doubt. "Slipshod. Careless. That phone lines just didn't crackle. doesn't sound as if your Earthman However, making no comment, would be much good to us here in he went on: "Well, their capacities Tfan." are different from ours, obviously. Kni had apparently appointed For instance, one thing that drops himself Terran propaganda agent 84 KUWANOID UCII.IPICa 85 on Psit. "It depends what the job "'h, not desperate exactly-" is, of course. But you should un· "But you're clutching at straws. derstand that because of this ap­ You don't really believe my Earth­ proach. Earthmen are the best fiJ~<. man could possibly help you, yet ers in the galaxy. Well, naturally, you're prepared to let him try. Is­ they get most practice. Any Earth· n't that it?" man working around machines "Yes," said Bru unhappily. He takes it for granted that sooner or was not enjoying the conversa­ later the machine will go wrong tion. Psitians disliked trouble oE and he'll have to repair it. And he's any kind, and hated admitting a quite confident he'll be able to do mistake. Although as Tfan area it. They're particularly good with supervisor Bru was not forced, in robots and calculators-" theory, to discuss his troubles with "They are?" said Bru, his in· Kni, Kni certainly rated him and terest quickening. "How so?" could request a full report and "I've just been telling you­ expect to get it. they're used to fixing things that However, Kni replied quite go wrong, and we're not. Look, cheerfully: "Well, I know this when we finish making a ma­ Earthman's capabilities, and I'm chine, we weld or braze or rivet fairly sure he can straighten things the case over it. We've allowed out for you. I'll send him to you." for minor adjustment, but we "Please do," said Bru thank­ don't expect either to have to re­ fully. "What's his name?" place it or repair it. Earthmen fix "John Smith." their covers with screws or nuts "Peculiar name. Any special and bolts, having every intention way to treat him? Taboos, sensitiv­ of taking it to bits at some time or ities, religious fads?" other-" "No, I guess not. He11 make He broke off as the line crackled allowances for you." violently. Then he said curiously: "He'll make allowances for me!" "What's the matter? Not weather Bru was uneasily aware that Kni trouble, surely?" had no high opinion of his intelli­ "As a matter of fact . . . yes," gence, but this was too much. said Bru reluctantly. "Oh, sure," said Kni airily. This time it was Kni who "They humor us. All right, then, sneezed incredulously. "Some­ I'll ask him if he wants to work thing wrong with AWC in your. for you. He will, though-only area? But that's impossible." you've got to be prepared to pay." "No. Not impossible. You see "Anything, if he's successful." .... well .. . ~~ "That'll suit him. Earthmen in­ "No wonder you're desperate." vented the phrase double or qad~s." 86 FANTASY AND SCIENCE FICTION "Just one more thing." Having "No other." said this, Bru paused for so long "John Smith?" that Kni began to suspect they'd "Yes," Smith said, weakening. been cut off. At last Bru said: "As The robot picked up his single a matter of fact ... there's an bulging traveling-bag and led him Earthman here in Tfan alreadv." to a car which started automati­ "Is there? I thought John Smith cally. Five minutes later the car was the only one on this planet." stopped and Smith and the robot "Well, you see . . . This started to come out. Earthman isn't exactly alive. On Smith blinked. It was now the other hand, he isn't exactly raining torrentially and the sky dead." was black. As he watched, the rain "Oh," said Kni meaningly. turned to hail and then back again. "One of those." Tfan certainly had a weather "Ye~. l.Yhat's bothering me is, problem. how is John S~Hh likely to react "Canines and felines," he mur­ if he finds out about it? I could mtired, breaking out a plastic keep quiet about it, but John cape. Smith will be walking around "I do not understand," said the everywhere and somebody mi?ht robot. tell him about this other Earth­ "No, why should you?" man. Or he might even wander In another two minutes Smith into the museum and see him." was bowing politely to Bru, Tfan There was a silence while Kni area supervisor. thou~ht. Finally he said brightly: "Calmurins," said Bru doubt­ "Well, that's your problem. Don't fully, looking Smith up and down. hesitate to call me if I can be of "Calmurins." any further . assistance. Behnur- Psitians were humanoid (and ms.. " so they naturally called humans "Belmurins," said Bru uneasily. humanoid). They resembled ducks, however, more than they John Smith, wearing a pair of resembled John Smith. Tiny legs shorts, sandals with asbestos soles, and big feet supported fluffy egg­ and nothing else, stepped out of shaped bodies inclined forward his capsule into the blazing sun­ like Donald Duck's. Their white shine of Tfan. downy heads could swivel in all "John Smith?" a willowy robot directions. Unlike ducks, they had inquired. two strong, useful arms equipped "So I've always been told." with large six-fingered hands. "John Smith?" the robot They looked as if they laid eggs· repeated. to reproduce, but they didn't. HUMAMOIO SACitlPJCZ 87 Twelve of them got together, went He hesitated, and then derided through some exceedingly conp}j­ not to take Smith's knowledge of cated, em&arrassing and slightly the general situation for granted. painful maneuvers, and each of It would be best to sketch the them in due couJ:Se gave birth to a backgrotind brie8y for the Earth­ baby Psittan. The pastime was not man, who could not be expected to popular, being considered a s~ial know much Psitian history. duty and nothing else. Conse­ "It was a hundred years ago," quently Psitians had the greatest he said didactically, "that the au­ difficulty in understanciing that tomatic weather control '\WS in­ other races actually got fun out of stalled, Man. It consisted of six sex. electronic cooFdinators, one for "We have a problem, Man," ea£h area, and several million said Bru tentatively. pieces of equipment under the "You don't sav." control of the coordinators. Into "I do say. I have just said." He each coordinator was built the hesitated. His mind wasn't on the pattern of weather we required. weather-control problem at all, They took over all responsibility but on the Earthman in the mu­ for assessing and recording weath­ seum. The situation could at any er conditions on the whole planet, moment become very awkward. operating and servicing all the Now that these Terrans were required machines, and modifying members of the FedeFatien, with the weather cycle to conform as full (or nearly full) Federation nearly as possible with the inbuilt rights, tht~re might be a dickens of pattern we had suppl'ied." a row over the fact that there had "Mean temperature, rainfall, been a Terran in Tfan museum wind direction, wind force, sea­ for hundreds of years, and not sonal variation?" even a dead Terran at that. "Exactly. To continue, Man, "To put it briefly, the auto­ for several years after the installa­ matic weather control in this area tion of the Awe there was no ef­ has gone seriously wrong," said fect on our climate whatever. This Bru, averting his mental gaze was only to be expected: the co­ from the other matter with an ef­ ordinators were merely collecting fort. and storing information, and ex­ "Wrong? Inconceivable. None perimenting with the various of your machines ever go wrong." means of weather control we had Psitians were deaf to irony. provided. Some ninety years ago "That's not guite true, Man. Our our climate came under increasing weather control lately has been conual, and by the time Awe " had been in operation for twent~·- 88 FANTASY AND SCIJ!.NCE FICTION five years the installation was an the museum. How did he get unqualified success." there, how long has he been there, "What kind of control pat­ and why haven't you released tern was set?" him?" "Smallest possible variation Bru breathed a sigh of relief. of temperature from day to day. John Smith was going to be rea­ Rainfall principally at night. Sea­ sonable, apparently. He was not sonal changes gradual and pre­ going to By into a tantrum and dictable. Wind force never above demand an immediate galaxy-wide a certain level. Snow and ice di­ investigation into the whole af­ verted as much as possible to cer­ fair, as he well might. Some visitors tain sections of each area. Preven­ did, on discovering specimens of tion of violent storms, or at least ther own race in Psitian mu­ localization of violent storms to seums. certain prescribed areas. Avoid­ "Long before you had space ance of extremes. All this was travel, Man," Bru said more eas­ achieved in twenty-five years." ily, "we natur.ally knew of your "And what went wrong?" existence, as did all the Federa­ )lecollection of the Earthman tion members at that time. But in in the museum returned. RealJy, accordance with Federation law, it was impossible to concentrate which you now obey yourselves, with such a thing hanging over no interference is made in the one. There were no Psitian crim­ natural development of primitive inals, as other races understood worlds. Once they have space the word. Psitians as a race were travel, of course, we have to con­ incapable of the necessary decep­ tact them. WelJ, this Earthman tion. was picked up and brought here Abruptly Bru said: "Man, we as a specimen some hundred years have an Earthman in suspended before you began experimenting animation in the museum." with rockets." Smith raised his eyebrows. Smith whistled. "An Earthman "What's that got to do with the from 1850! Say, you mean this weather?" guy's been in suspended anima­ "Nothing. 1-you don't mind?" tion for more than three hundred "Look, what are we talking years?" about, the weather or the Earth­ ''Yes.'' man in the museum?" "How was this business squared ''You don't care about the with Federation law? If it isn't Earthman in the museum?" interference to kidnap a living "One thing at a time. Okay, Terran, I don't know what is." let's talk about the Earthman in But his voice was calm and KUNAHOHI S~FICI. 89 and his manner undistw:bing. "And the matter oE the AWC?" Brue breathed still more easily. Bru said. This Earthman had better self. Smith shrugged. "It was you control than most of the alien visi· who brought up this other affair. tors to Psit who found members of Let's dispose of it first, huh?" their own race stuck on cards un· ''Very well," Bru sighed. Some­ der glass, so to speak, in a mu· times it was rather a nuisance to seum. Bru himself had once or possess a conscience. However, he twice had reason to wish that past was not sorry he had told John Psitian zoologists had not been Slnith about the Earthman in the quite so industrious in collecting museum. Psitians as a race were specimens from so many worlds, timid, truthful, responsible; and had realized that in a few they hated having secrets and hundred years' time the primitive having to conceal things which races concerned might in some might mean trouble when they cases have been granted full Fed­ came out. The presence of the eration status and rights. Earthman in the museum wouldn't "It's permitted," Bru said, "to have bothered Bru in the slightest pick up specimens who would so long as there was no chance of otherwise be dead anyway. This any other Earthman visiting Tfan. Earthman was removed from a Once Smith arrived, however, Bru primitive sailing ship almost in was so anxious about possible the moment when it foun­ trouble that he had very little dered." choice but to blurt out what was "I get it. And he hasn't known on his mind. a thing since that moment three A quart~r of an hour later they hundred years ago when the ship wue walking through the halls of sank under him?" the museum-at least, Smith was "He's been in suspended ani- walking, while Bru puffed and mation ever since." waddled behind him. "And you could revive him?" "He's here somewh~re, I think," "If you think it desirable." Bru gasped. "Yes, over there. "Hell, yes. Let's get to it right Look." away. Guess it's going to be quite a Smith did look, and nearly fell shock for the poor guy, but if he over his feet. He could find only had the choice there's no doubt one word to express himself, and what it would be. He'd opt for life he used it. rather than a living death, any­ "Jesus!" he said. where, any time. I guess he'll think this is heaven, or the other place • . . \Vhere's the museum?" "I didn't know they were bi-- 90 FANTASY AND SCJJ!NCJ! FICTION sexual," Bru said plaintively into is. So you can't suggest any­ the telephone. thing?'" "I didn't bother telling you," "To make Smith concentrate on Kni replied airily. "Does it mat­ your problem? No, I can't. Say, ter?" what's wrong with the weather in ,.It matters a great deal," said Tfan anyway? Ours is all right, Bru crossly. "It turned out that and if your coordinator failed the John Smith is one kind and the others would take over. How can Earthman in the museum is the you have weather problems while other. From the moment he saw we-" the specimen, John Smith has "I'm sure the weather aberra­ been in a kind of daze and I have­ tion is purely local," said Bru n't been able to get a meaningful cautiously. "I don't think you need word out of him. He hasn't even worry about it." let me tell him exactly what the "I hope you're right." AWC problem is. Are Earthmen Bru hesitated and then said always like that when they meet "Belmurins" in farewell. He had Earthmen of the other kind?" meant to ask Kni's opinion of the "I don't know. Nobody does tactics he was considering adopt­ but you. I take it the Earthman ing with John Smith. But since in the museum has been success­ Knf denied having any special fully revived?" knowledge of Terran social psy­ ,.Not yet." chology, his opinion could be of "Not yet? I don't understand. no particular value. Besides, if Why is John Smith so disorgan­ Bru went on talking, Kni's ques­ ized if the other Earthman hasn't tions about Tfan's weather might even been revived yet?"· become more insistent-and Bru, "That's what I'm asking you," being probably responsible for Bru sighed. "Evidently you can't what had gone wrong, was uneasy help me." about the whole thing. "Well, nothing like this ever Being a Psitian, he was uneasy happened on Psit before. Appar­ also about keeping silent. His nat­ ently only one Terran sex travels ural impulse was to blurt out ev­ around the galaxy--Smith's, erything, as he had done in the whichever one that is. So none of case of John Smith. However, he us have any experience of what had been in the actual presence of happens when two Earthmen of John Smith and he was not in the different sexes meet. From what actual presence of Kni. That made you say, there must be profound a difference. emotional disturbance involved?" Having received no assistance "You can take it from me there from Kni, Bru still had to make up HUMANOID SACRIFIC!. 91 his mind how to handle John they wanted done, with the result Smith. He was uncomfortably that after this AWC affair, if he aware he might make another mis­ should be successful, he could af­ take .•• ford to retire from business as a At least he had Smith's author­ trouble-shooter for aliens and re­ ization, on behalf of his race, to turn to Earth physically and finan­ revive the other Earthman, on the cially able to make up for lost time understanding that no retributive to a startling degree. action would be taken. That was Smith had a few magazines and somethi~g. books with him in case he should have an overwhelming desire to Smith paced the room like an remind himself of Earth, and what expectant father. Any moment life among creatures of his own now the Psitians would come and kind was like. But he had grown tell him he could talk to the girl, accustomed to resisting such de­ and in his impatience he found it sires. When you couldn't have a impossible to stay still. He could banana split, it was in every way and perhaps should have remained preferable to dismiss the very ex­ with her throughout the whole re­ istence of banana splits from your suscitation process, but he knew it mind. And if there was anything was a messy business somewhat you wanted much more than a less glamorous than childbirth. banana split, it was even more On the whole he was quite pre­ desirable to think about something pared to leave that part to the else. Psitians. Suddenly seeing this girl Knowing he was one of about (genus homo, sex female, name four Terrans within sixty light­ unknown, period circa 1850, real years, all of whom were male, age 370 years approximately, ap­ Smith had prudently thought as parent age twenty or less) had little as possible about women for thrown a whole nest of spanners the last five years. He was twenty­ into John Smith's smoothly-run­ eight, and the last time he had ning, perfectly controlled emo­ seen a human female .had been tional machine. when he was twenty-three. It wasn't impossible, after all, There were, of course, compen­ to have a banana split. sations in the kind of life he'd On view in the museum the girl been leading, or he'd have re­ had been dressed in her original turned to Earth long ago. Human­ clothes, treated to last indefinite­ oid races like the Psitians paid ly. She wore a slightly hideous fabulously for his services when­ black brocade dress, high-necked, ever he succeeded in doing what long-sleeved, ankle-length, and 92 PANTAIY AND SCIENCI! FICTION elastic-sided black boots. Conse­ would be violently angry. I want­ quently Smith had seen only her ed to dispose of the matter before face, nothing about her figure be­ returning to business. Now fm ing apparent except that it was beginning to wonder if we're ever small and slight. going to return to business." He had found her small, deli­ Smith looked at the door be­ cate features startingly beautiful, hind which Psitian doctors were and for a while he had wondered working on the girl from 1850. if, like Frederick in The Pirates of "I wonder how that little dark Penzance, he had grown so un­ head looks on a pillow," he mur­ used to girls that the oldest and mured to himself. "May be a heck ugliest of females would look like of a job trying to find out. After Venus to him. A quick reference all, the kid's a Victorian. Probably to his magazines, however, had doesn't even know about the birds convinced him that this girl's face and the bees ..." wouldn't be out of place on the Bru made up his mind. Turning cover of any of them, if she had a to the robots, he said firmly : "This new hair-do, was properly made Man is not to be allowed to meet up, and wore something sufficient­ the other Earthman until AWC is ly low-cut. functioning efficiently again. You Bru waddled in, followed by will pass this instruction to all two black, silent robots who sta­ robots. Nothing he says and noth­ tioned themselves at the door. ing I say is to countermand this 'Well?" said Smith sharply. order-" "How is she?" "What the hell?" Smith ex­ "I haven't been with the doctors, ploded. Man. I know nothing of their "Please repeat that." progress. It occurred to me that The robot Bru had addressed while you're waiting, I might tell repeated·: "This Man is not to he you more about our problem." allowed to meet the other Earth­ "I won't even hear you if you man until. A WC is functioning ef­ do." ficiently again. We will pass this "Man, when we first met I instruction to all robots. Nothing thought you were a very reasonable he says and nothing you say is to creature, for an alien." countermand this o:rder." "That was before you told me "Correct," Bru · nodded. He about this girl. Why did you tell turned apologetically to Smith. me, anyway? Why didn't you fin­ ''I'm sorry, Man. This seemed the ish one thing before starting an­ only way to-" other?" Smith had himself under con­ Bru sighed. "I was afraid you trol by this time. It was no use HUMANOID SACIUPICit 93 losing your temper with human· with your blasted weather." oids. This only made them think _Bru sighed his relief. "Seventy· you were unstable. five years ago," he said, "A we "Haven't you thought about became everything we had hoped that poor kid at all?" he demand· it. would be when we designed ed. "There's one member of her and installed the coordinatOrs-" own race on this world-me-and "Just a moment. Why six coor­ after keeping her nine-tenths dead dinators? Isn't there friction?" for 3 5{) years you're not even go. "Not at all, Man. They work to­ ing to let her-" gether. Their aim is identical. "Man," said Bru patiently, '1et They are interdependent. As I was us now discuss Awe. The sooner saying, for a further thirty years that problem is solved, the sooner the weather was just as we wanted you can meet the other Earthman. it. Then it became too precise." It's quite simple, is it not?" "Too precise? How do you Smith breathed deeply. "I don't mean?" understand you Psitians. You're so "In those thirty years Awe de­ scared I might make trouble that veloped such a stranglehold on the you don't tell me why you sent conditions that every day became for me, you blurt out your confes· a blueprint of the last. Every day sion about the girl in the mu· precisely the same thing hap­ seum. Then . . . Look, suppose pened. At exactly the same time I make trouble now? Suppose I in the early morning, the rain report to the Federation that-" stopped. At exactly the same time ''You can't, Man," said Bru con­ in the afternoon there was a light tentedly. "When. you signed an shower. At exactly the same time authorization on behalf of your in the late evening, the rain start· race that the Earthman should be ed again. It became possible to revived, you also agreed not to set watches by the weather. There institute any legal proceedings." was, of course, seasonal variation, Smith stared at him sulfurously but the change was so slight, so for several seconds. Then he said: gradual that it was imperceptible "Suppose I don't succeed?" from day to day." Bru became agitated. ''You must 'Well, that was fine, wasn't succeed. Kni has great confidence it?'' in you-" "Psitians are very susceptible ''That's fine. But if I don't, what to monotony, Man." happens to that poor girl?'' ''You should have thought of "Please try," Bru begged. that before, shouldn't you?" "Okay," Smith said resignedly. "Perhaps, but-'" "Talk. Tell me what went wrong ''You wanted minfmal varfa· 94 1'.-\NT:\SY .,JS"D SCIEJS"CI PICTION tion. You got it. That doesn't Dear Brunette, sound so terrible." Titere is so much to explain "We know that now, Man. If that I don't know how to begin. we could return tomorrow to this Don't be frightened of the fun­ rigid weather control we should ny 8uck-1ike creatures. They be delighted to do so." don't mean you any harm. Smith frowned, and then his The year is 2203 and you're face cleared. "I get it. You tam· • on a world a long, long way pered with AWC, and now it's gone from Earth. You'll have to face haywire." the fact that nobodv vou knew ''Yes. Fortunately the experi· is alive and the world· you lived m.ent was made only in this area, in is as dead as thev are. Not and so far the consequences, too, that there isn't an Earth any are confined to-" more. It's still there and you'll The door opened and one of go home soon. But it won't be the Psitian doctors waddled anything like the world vou re- through. "The Terran will awaken member. · in a few seconds," he told Bru. Apart from you I'm the only Smith took a step toward the human on Psit. The ducks, who door. The two robots moved too. are native Psitians, don't speak Through the open doorway Smith English, and for r@asons which saw two more robots appear in the are far too complicated for me passage beyond. Bru's order had to try to explain, I can't come been passed on to them by robot and see you until I've finisaed radio. Every robot in Tfan would the job I came here to do, a job obey the order exactly as if it had which has. nothi:Rg to do with been spoken to it directly. your presence here. '1•II write her a letter at least,'' My name is John Smith and he said resignedly. I'm 28. I was born in San "I don't know whether that can Francisco, America. I'm just be allowed,'' said Bru. asswning you're American or "It can be," said Smith firmly, English, or at least that you "and it will be." understand English. It was. I'm sending with this a copy of Current Affairs. !t's the only magazine I've got that hasn't The letter which was handed any pictures. I don't want you to the girl from 1850 ten minutes to see pictures just yet until later-by one of the robots, since you've had time to realize how Bru's order did not forbid com• d.iffe:rent everything is going to munication -readt be. You won't make much of HUMANOID SACIUFICE 95 Current Affairs, but at least it more than confirmation. The co­ will show you this is no joke. ordinator already knows exactly Please write to me. You can what they'll report." do that, anyway. "That is true, Man. _aut we Yours, thought . . . Tell me, Man, how John Smith. is it that with your low technologi­ cal rating you understand robotic As soon as Smith had written machines so well?" his letter and given it to one af Smith could have told him, but the silent robots for immediate he didn't. it would be like trying delivery, Bru continued as if to explain color to a blind man, or there had been no interruption in music to someone who was deat his conversation with Smith. Few races other than the human "It seemed to us," said Bru, race differed greatly in character "that all we had to do was create from individual to individual. a slight interference in the com­ For the most part this was an ex­ munications system of the area cellent thing. It meant greater coordinator. Thus weather con­ agreement than Terrans could trol would be disorganized slight­ ever achieve, for one thing. But it ly, and the monotonous precision also meant that only Earthmen of the last forty-five years would knew about, and studier, and al­ be disrupted." lowed for, large differences in "What did you do?" character within any race. "\Ve intercepted messages from Every Earthman who had ever Psor control station, a hundred lived knew someone who was kind, miles from here, blotted out the someone who was cruel, people signals, and sent signals of our who were happy, miserable, good, own." bad, energetic, lazy, selfish, al­ "Then what happened?" truistic. Consequently Earthmen "The A\VC coordinator sent a could project. Earthmen could at robot repair unit to Psor, and the least try to think as other humans station was overhauled. \Ve con­ thought, as non-humans thought, tinued to substitute false signals." even as machines thought. "That wasn't very bright," Smith So it wasn't surprising that su­ commented. perior races like the Psitians "Why not?" said Bru. sometimes had to pay Earthmen "Obviously the coordinator large sums of money to explain to knew that the Psor station was ly­ them the workings of certain ma­ ing. By this time AWC has such chines which the Psitians had control over Psit that the reports provided with some kind of mind of the various stations can be no of their own. 96 FANTASY AND SCIENCE fiCTIO!'\ "So the area coordinator re­ "No." belled," Smith said. "Then isn't it obvious that the Bru sneezed doubtfully, not other five coordinators are fully in liking the word 'rebelled.' agreement about what is going "Well, ·what the hell else is it?" on?" Smith demanded. "I might rebel Bru stared at him in puzzle­ because you've deprived me of my ment and dismay. banana split. The coordinator re­ belled because you started trying Quite a correspondence ensued to interfere with it.'' between Smith and the girl, who "Very well," Bru said meekly, turned out, improbably, to be "the area coordinator rebelled. In­ named Henrietta 1\faugham-Bat­ stead of maximum uniformity we tersby. have recently had maximum vari­ She was kept in a small suite of ation, Man. There should be a rooms and didn't seem to mind temperature range of ten degrees particularly. What she could see -instead it has been ninety. In­ of Psit from a window satisfied stead of carefully spaced out rain­ her for the moment. fall, we have no rain for two The correspondence was han­ weeks and then a cloudburst. I dled smoothly by robots. There have figures if you'd like to see was no need for addresses. The them-" robots, with their inbuilt inter­ "So you'd be delighted if the communication, almost always coordinator would only go back knew where Smith was, and there to the maddening monotony of a was never any doubt where Hen­ few months ago?" rietta was. "I have already said so, Man." The first letter from her, written "I take it the coordinator is the in a small, neat hand on cream kind of computor which checks plastic-paper with a green Psitian itself? Triple components?" stylus, was not handed to Smith "Quintuple cqmponents, Man." until the next morning. It read: "With its own repair depart­ ment?" Dear Mr. Smith, "It is completely autonomous, I cannot understand why it Man. Except that if one coordi­ is impossible for you to come nator failed, the other five would and see me. Please tell me the take over and restore the ineffi­ truth-1 have always been con­ cient coordinator to full efficien­ sidered a strong-minded fe­ cy.'' male, quite unlikely to have a "And this hasn't happened?" .fit of the vapors because some­ said Smith curiously. . one calls a spade a spade. JIUMAtfOID tAeltJI'IS 9r You are being prevented irrevocable as you tay. Go to from coming to me, is this not higher authority, Mr. Smith, the truth? When I attempted to and have it countennanded. come to you, I found that there Since the Psitians are in a po­ were certain directions barred sition of dependence on you, to me· by the mechanical men. you can obviously exert suffi­ I drew my own conclusions. cient pressure to have this done. If you have journals with Thank you for the .gannents pictures in them, I beg of you you have sent me, but it is to let me see them. Naturally I quite out of the question for me am particularly interested in to wear any of them. The pic­ what is being worn in 2203. tures in the journals you sent My name is Henrietta me entirely fail to convince me Maugham-Battersby and I am, th1Jt any respectable young or was 18 years of age. At the woman, in this or ,any- other time of my last recollections I age, should be guilty of such was on my way from England :Immodesty. That it has been to India on the sailing-ship possible to find voluptuous fe­ Penelope to join my father, males prepared to pose for such Colonel Maugham-Battersby of pictures is no surprise to ·me at the 53rd Rifles. As you say, he ali-I may tell you that in my and everyone else I ever knew own time such lewd pictorial must be long dead. I have ac­ representations were not en­ cepted this. tirely unknown. What voluptu­ Please infonn me of the true ous females of easy virtue might altuation without delay. do was not, however, and is not, Yours sincerely, any guide to a young lady of Henrietta Maugham-Battersby. decorum and self-respect. Yours sincerely, He dashed off a reply at once, Henrietta Maugham-Battersby. but did not send it until he had some clothes made for her. He ex­ His third letter did little more pected they would startle her, and than reiterate what he had said when he got her reply much later already. So did hers. In written that day he found he had not been communication they had already mistaken. The letter ram reached an impasse.

Dear Mr. Smith, Dear Mr. Smith, It is inconceivable that an Please do not make any fm.. order to the mechanical men ther attempt to convince me. I by the creature Bru can be 81 W&l not, as the saying 11, bom 9g FANTASY AND SCIENCE FICTIOX yesterday. You are obviously contrGI coordlnal!ot- had to waut tryiftg to take adwntage of a to control weaMJ.er. The bllilt-m preswnably helpless female. I directives must cuntain the expla­ am aeithor as helpless nor as wtion for A WC's conduct since gullible as you seem to think. Bru iaterffl'ed with it. I shall wait until contact Having found Mte .Urectives at with respectable JXesent-day last in the loeal lilmtry, Smith society has enabled me to de­ coasidered them carefully and termille what is, and what is then sought out Bru. not, Elone ia this day and age. "I want to see Henrietta," he Until theR I shaD act aElf!ord:ing said innly. te my uwn standards of mod­ "You know that is impossible, esty and morality. Man." Although you have forfeited Smith shook his head. "Oddly my trust, I must, of couPSe, eon­ ewmgh, it was she who saw how tinue to rely on you fer assist­ to break down your or-der. Or at ance in returnin~ to my awn least how to g.o about it. There's hmne-my own wo:dd, as you a pointer ia that, Bru. I wouldn't put it. Please arrange a meet­ be surprised if she bad some use­ ing witllout delay. ful ideas ab.ut yeur AWC pmb­ Yours sincerely, lem as well." Henrietta Maugham :Biittersby. Bru sneezed. "That is ridicu­ lous, Man. At the thne when the Having received this, Smith de­ Henrietta-Man was removed &om cided there were not geing to be you.r planet, your ances~rs were any mere letters. The personal only at the steam-engine st-age of touch was needed. development." It had been surprisingly diffi­ "And do you know what kind of cult to obtain the Ract specifica­ stage that is? No, you don't, be­ tions of the AWC coordinators' cause it happened so llmg ago on original instructions. Baffiingly, Psit that you've forgotten all about iru had not even thought of it. It's the stage when everything checking what Smith, or any oth­ works, Bru. It's the stage of ex­ er Teuan technician, considered pansion, of certainty, of supreme most obvious. confidence. God's in his heaven The coordinators had been giv· and all's rigl£t tvith the world. en control of Psit's weather. But It's the stage of common-sense." before a machine would do any· Bru didn't say anything. He thing, it had to be givoo not mere· £ouldn't, having no clear idea of ly the power to do it but also a what Smith was talking about. motive for doing it. A weather 'We accept a situation/' Smith HUMANOID SACRIFICE 99 said patiently. "By 'we' I mean you with the same general answer as and me, though I'm not as ready I do, but I'd still have to translate to accept things as you are. We it into practical terms. And yet she know that a certain job is going to helped, Bru. It was her idea to 'go mean a lot of time and trouble to higher authority' to get your with the tools and components order to robots canceled." available, and even more time and "Higher authority?" trouble if we make new tools and "Kni. He's not your boss ex­ components-so we don't do it. actly, but he rates you and the ro­ The men and women of 18 50 went bots know all about that. He only right ahead and did the job some­ h.as to tell his robots ·to tell your how, and if it wasn't a success robots that I'm to be allowed to see they did it again. In 1850 my Henrietta. Probably the robots own city, San Francisco, \Vas be­ will check with you because they ing built of wood. When it burned think that way, but when you con­ down it was rebuilt in . steel, brick firm that Kni's directive overrides and reinforced concrete ..." yours-" Bru began to see a faint glim­ Bru became agitated. "I do not mer of light. Kni had told him wish to apply to Kni, Man." that Earthmen were good at re­ ''You have to. As Henrietta also pair jobs because, unlike Psitians, said, I can obviously exert suffi­ they were temperamentally at cient pressure to have this done. home with the idea of repair. Ap­ If you want your coordinator put parently what Smith was saying right, get on the line to Kni." was that this predisposition in "If I do, can you make any favor of repair or replacement guarantee that-" rather than adjustment and read­ "No. No guarantees, Bru. justment had been stronger in That's where your race and mine 1850 than it was in 2203, even differ. You make things and ex­ among Earthmen. pect them to work, and to give you "Do you know how to restore your due, they usually do. We try AWC to its former efficiency?" something to see if it works." Bru asked directly. "But you have a plan?" Smith replied: "After Henrietta "Oh, sure. Your AWC coordina­ and I have had a little chat, I'll tor is built to work on the princi­ tell you." ple that weather control is the ''You're not seriously telling me only thing that matters and that that you need the Henrietta-Man's weather control means averaging assistance?" · out all extremes." "No," said Smith. "Not seri­ "That's a very loose way of ously. Probably she'd come up putting it." 100 FANTASY AND SCIENCE FICTION "True. The coordinator also "You might as well face the knows that it was built by an or­ fact," he said, "that it'll be at ganic race which is sensitive to least three months before you clima-tic changes and wants them meet other human beings. And six to be as smooth as possible." months before you get back to "That's even more loose." Earth." "But no less true." Smith "What I wrote to you still ap­ grinned suddenly. "You now have plies," she said coolly. ''I'm not everything necessary to under­ going to take what you say as any stand exactly what's happened guide to present-day conduct, Mr. and what to do about it. Now I Smith. When we meet other . . . want to see Henrietta." Terrans, as you call them, I shall The blankness of Bru's gaze have an opportunity of judging showed that he was going to see " Henrietta. She stopped, because it sud­ denly began to rain heavily. In a Smith took Henrietta out for a few seconds the rain changed to walk. He had put on slacks and a hail. white shirt. She was in her black They star.ted to run for the one brocade dress. tree in sight, the only shelter The temperature was slightly within reasonable distance. Hen­ over a hundred. rietta, hampered by her long The complexities of ·the city skirts, could not run very well. seemed to hurt her eyes. She was Without ceremony Smith lifted clearly relieved when he led her her and carried her. away from it into fields where When he set her down in the the grass, though thick and yel­ shelter of the tree, she said breath­ lowish, was undeniably grass ·of a lessly: "Thank you, Mr. Smith. sort, and the bushes, though pur­ But you might have asked me ple and capable of slow locomo­ whether I wished to be-" tion, looked not unlike bushes. "You're wet through as it is. "I hope you understand, M.r. Lucky I had some clothes made Smith," she said composedly, for you. You'll be able to change "dtat my apparent acceptance of when we get back." the situation does not imply ac­ "Never, Mr. Smi·th. I have al­ ceptance of other things you no ready told you ..•" Curiosity doubt have in mind." got the better of her. "Did you ac­ "What," he asked innocently, tually make those garments your­ "do you think I have in mind?" self?" She turned her nose in the air, 'With the help of a textile ro­ blushed, and said nothing. bot, yes." HUMANOID SACRIFICE 101 "The mechanical men can do They turned back to the city. things like that?" ''You don't feel any resentment "Robots can do far more than against the Psitians ?'' Smith just make clothes, Henrietta. They asked. "For pulting you off that can-" sailing ship and bringing you "Mr. Smith, I have not yet giv­ here, I mean?" en you permission to call me Hen­ "k would be poiA_.ess to do so. rietta." I understalld I'd have died other­ "It's all right, thanks, I don't wise. And it will certainjy be in­ need it. As I was saying, Henri­ teresting to see what 'banges etta, robots can do far more than have occuned in 350 years." that. An electronic co~trdinator "Even if you don't believe any­ controls the weather here." thing anybody tells you?" "It seems to be making a singtc­ "'I have said all that bas to be larly poor job of it," she said said on that su~t, Mr. Smith." tartly. , "That's why I'm here. To .fix it. IJru waddled· hebind them, I don't think that'lt pllesent much puffing. "Why could we not come of a problem. Then we can be on .b.ere by car?" he asked plaintively. our way. The next ship in the "Because I don't want the ro­ general direction of Earth-I've bots tg know what's goiag on," said already checked on it-leaves in Smith. "Just on general princi­ three weeks' · time and it11 be ples." manned by Picors, who are rather They stopped. Henrietta, in her like crocodiles with heads like black dress, stiH loOked to Smith sheep. It's possible, but very un­ rather like an m•r-iguing parcel likely, that there'll be other hu­ marked NOT TO BE OPENED mans on board. From Pica we'D be UNTIL CHRISTMAS-IF able to get a tender to New ltalia, THEN. another planet in the same system For several seconds they and a Terran colony. You'll meet watched silently. They were at humans there and there's a regu­ the delivery yard wheR the raw lar service to Earth." materials for AWC were supplied. "And it'll take three montlas to The huge building which housed reach New Italia?" the IWlin Tfan AWC depot and He nodded. "Look, the hail has the area coordinator was a quarter stopped. Want to go right back?" of a mile away. In front of it were "Yes, please. Until you repair stacks of steel bars, plate glass, ce­ the weather machine I do not ment bags, and other raw materl· think I shall go for any more als which AWC used. Small chuclc­ walks in the country." ling robotrucks ran about, unhur- 102 FANTASY AND SCIENC"! FICTION riedly carrying the materials into coordinator then reached a sim­ the building. ple, predictable conclusion. It "It doesn't matter where the must be the organic race which stuff is stacked?" Smith said. had built it which was now inter­ "No. The ro'hotrucks have a fering with its efficiency. The co­ limited capacity for analysis. 'Fhe ortliootor then set out to kill everv Awe plant takes what it wants." Psitian in this area." · "But latelv it hasn't been ta·k­ "Kill us!" Bru went into a ing much?"' paro"}'sm of sneezing. "On the contrary," Bru said, "It's no use refusing ta believe "the intake has been unusually it. A machine doesn't care who heavy. Does that affect your con­ built it. The Awe COf>rdinator is clusions?" autonomous. Any implied loyalty "Not really. If the intake here to the Psitians is subordinate to stopped altogether, the co~Jrdina­ the necessity for rigid weather tor could get anything it needed control. The coonHnator, know­ from the other AWe depots." ing you were ·attacking its prime Henrietta paid no attention to function, tlecidetl to try to ltill the conversation, being unable to you. Then, when all the Psitians speak Psitian. She watched the in this area were dead, it could busv robotrucks with mild curios­ control the weather to its heart's ity.· She had had the sense to re­ conteut." alize that for quite a while she "Weather variation doesn't kill would have tQ observe things with­ us." out trying too hard to understand "No, but the coordinator does­ them. n't know that. You built into it the "Yesterday," Smith said, "I absolute necessity of ensuring asked Henrietta what to do about minimal climatic variation, on a the coordinator. She said the long-term basis. When you started machine was punishing you far interrering, it thought: 'The Psi­ interfering with it. And that to put tians are now my enemies. In order it right you'd have to show it that to attain long-term control, I must the criminal had been caught and kill the Psitians. At the moment it punished. That's you, Bru." seems necessary to act only in this Bru said : "That is nonsense, area, "because only in this area has Man." there heen interference.' It com­ Smith sighea. "Machines are municated with the other cO&rdi­ simple, Bm. Awe's sole reason for naters, which of course came to existing is to recerd and ocmsol the same conclusion. They are the weadler. Yeu staRed interfer­ waitiBg w see wllat happens.'' ing with Its operatien. This area Bru wasn't sneezing any more. HUMANoiD SACJUFICB 103 1'here seems a possibility, Man, "How?" that you may be right." "Give it dead bodies. It can "Of course I'm right. A Psitian analyze. It will know what they or an Earthman whose job is, say, are. The coordinator isn't a pathol­ assembling grass-cutting machines ogist. It won't know how or why realizes that other things may be the bodies died. Fortunately, you more important than grass-cutting Psitians don't care what happens machines-food and drink and to your bodies when you're dead warmth, for instance. A robot . . . Collect all the dead bddies built for one specific job recog­ in Tfan for a week and bring them nizes nothing else. You'd expect here." the AWC coordinator to get on "That could be done. You really with its job in the face of difficul­ think .•.?" ties caused by a horde of termites, "The coordinator hasn't the say. Well, to the coordinators slightest idea how many Psitians you're nothing more than ter­ there are. It wants to return to mites. If you leave it alone, it'll minimal variation the moment it leave you alone. If not-" can. It knows· that for reasons "The remedy?" Bru said anx­ which seemed excellent, it tried to iously. "There is a remedy?" kill off the organic population of "Well, first, never interfere with Tfan. It shouldn't be difficult to AWC again. Put up wit}l the convince it that it has succeeded." monotony. That's built into the "What are y~ talking about coordinator. That's what it wants." all this time, Mr. Smith?" Henri­ "Yes, yes. But to restore it?" etta asked. "Give the coordinator a human "Only the weather," said Smith. sacrifice." "What!" "So you solved Bru's little prob­ "Humanoid, we'd say. A hu­ lem," Kni said. "Good. I thought manoid sacrifice. This is the coor­ you would. Bru is not a very dinator's only intake, the only way clever person." of communicating with it except "No," Smith agreed. "You Psi­ for the weather signs it collects. tians differ less in character than And since it decides what to col­ most other races. But there are al­ lect for itself, that's no way to in­ ways differences in intelligence fluence it. Not giving it any stores and imagination." might in the end convince it that Kni was no longer interested in all the Psitians in Tfan were Bru. "I arranged two passages on dead. A better, quicker way is to the Picor ship as you requested. show it that its measures have been You will be delighted to learn successful." that there are two other Earthmen 104 PA'N'I'AS\' AND SCI&M

THE SHORTEST SCIENCE FICTION LOVE STORY EVER WRITTEN

Boy meets girl. Boy loses girl. Boy builds girl. --jEFFREY RENNER S~ ho8 not spoiled Rock, er, Robert Bloch; he has not lost the common touch-although rumors to the effect that he invented it '.Jre, perhaps, exaggerated. In order, therefore, to convert into a triad the duet of articles which he wrote for us about aspects of Science Fiction fandom in times past, tt was needful only for us to obtain the services of a comely grisette. She smiled, she plied him with potables, she put the quesnon to him . . . and a mere eight months later the subappended monograph appeared. It is one of three on the subject of that singular microcosm peculiar to our particular literary genre; and will be, we are sure, at least as interesting to the ma.fority of readers who do not form a part of it as to the minority who do. Part of the phenomena of SF fandom is its conventions­ the part Bob Bloch writes about here. It was at one such that we were politely accosted by (as his card revealed) a Corporation Man in hotel uniform of dark suit, white shirt, Sincere tie, who politely inquired of us what was going on. We told him. "Science Fiction . . ":' he said, musingly. Then, still not quite clear, but nonetheless impressed, he said, "You don't know how unusual it is to see a group of people who are so obviously intet'ested in and so obviously enjoying what they are doing/" Let Mr. Bloch show ycu why.

THE CONVENTIONAL APPROACH

by Robert Bloch

THE FIRST CoNVENTION IN THE reports I didn't miss much. United States was held in Phila­ There were only 55 people delphia during the month of May, present. I understand they spent 1787. Contrary to popular rumor, most of their time just sitting I did not attend (I seldom go any­ around and yakking about a Con­ where in May) and according to stitution or some such nonsense. 105 106 FANTASY AND SCIENCE PICTIOK Oh, I guess they did have a mas­ the other magazines which came querade ball-l've seen pictures of into the field during the next half­ the affair and almost everybody dozen years. was wearing ridiculous costumes, Without going into morbid de­ with wigs and knee-breeches-but tails on the subject, which I have the whole thing looks like a drag to covered at length elsewhere in my me. I mean, with only 55 attend­ monumental historical survey ees, how could they possibly break (The Decline of the North, South, even on the deal? I'm sure they East and West, pub. by Stealth, lost money, and the proof of it is 19 58) it is sufficient to note that a that they've never held another science fiction fandom . came into Constitutional Convention since. being. Teen-agers in partieular Science FictioJZ Conventions, flocked to the field. In some of the on the other hand, are a howling larger communities-notably New success; 21 of them have been held York, Philadelphia, Chicago and in the past 24 years, and most of Los Angeles-informal "clubs" them have made a buck. Which sprang up, with regular meetings only goes to prove the superiority and meeting-places. The coming of free enterprise as opposed to of the Thirties saw the advent of governmental interference, my the "fanzine," an amateur publica­ friends, and if I am elected- tion devoted to various aspects of But we're getting ahead of our the science fiction field. These ef­ story, if any. forts multiplied during the De­ Science fiction, as we know it, pression Decade, circulating was a minor snarl in the Roaring amongst the readers through sub­ Twenties-a decade which wit­ scriptions and mailing-lists and nessed the rise of such notables as spreading interest to an increasing Pretty-Boy Floyd, Legs Diamond, number of fans. The artificial Dutch Schultz, Frank Nitti, Al­ apartheid between professional phonse Capone and Hugo Gems­ editors, writers and readers was back. It was Gemsback who, in breached as early as 19 3 3, when a 1926, produced the first "scienti­ 17-year-eld fan magazine publish­ fiction" magazine, Amazing Sur er graduated to the editorship of" ries. Not only did readers find his the professional science fiction publication; they also found its magazine, Wonder Stories. In the letter-column, and through the let­ foHowing years, many fans, whose ter-column, one another. "Fans" of first editorial or auctorial efforts this sort of fiction were soon ex­ appeared in the amateur press, changing views and opinions, col­ "crossed over" to commercial mar­ lecting artwork and hardcover kets. When teen-age fanzine pub­ books in the genre, and reading lishers like Jerry Siegel and Joe nu OONVENTIONi\L i\PPilOi\CH lOi Shuster could soar to success on the level, the concept of the "World sturdy back of their creation, Su­ Science Fiction Convention" be­ perma1z, there was incentive for came a reality, and the infant idea others to pursue fantasy and sci­ first saw the light of day on July ence fiction with more than the 2nd, 1939, in New York City. casual interest of the average read­ Here, in the modest confines of er of western or mystery stories. Caravan Hall, a meeting-room in There were other factors, too, a midtown office building, some which contributed to the develop­ 200-odd (plus a few very odd) ment of fand"m as a permanent fans and professionals convened in-group. The Depression itself (if under the chairmanship of one you wonder why I capitalize it, Samuel Moskowitz, a name notal­ it's because you didn't live through together unknown to science fic­ it) was a nightmare for penniless tion circles, or even squares. adolescents. In fandom they All was not sweetness and light could achieve· almost instant iden­ -there had been bitter feuding tity and status as publishers, edi­ between various factions of fan­ tors, writers, artists, correspond­ dom regarding the staging of the ents, critiCs, club-members and event, and disaffected elements club-leaders. They created their appeared to upset the decorum of own historical frame of referenBuck Rogers" atmosphere. vention "traditions" had been es­ But their recognition, however tablished. disdainful and distasteful, nailed First and foremost, a portion of down one thing; science fiction the expenses were defrayed by fandom was a national phenome­ means of an auction-artwork, non, of national interest. manuscripts and magazines donat­ Once established, the World ed by professional publishers in Science Fiction Convention be· the field were sold to the highest came an annual event. The second bidder. Since many fans were, and was held in Chicago, the third in are, avid collectors, this practise Denver. There was a hiatus during has resulted in a considerable the war years, but in 1946 the af­ source of revenue to the amateur fairs were resumed and have con· organizations staging a Conven­ tinned on a once-a-year basis. tion. What are Science Fiction Con· The second tradition centers ventions really like? All I can do is around the entertainment, which cite a few of my own impressions, has since followed the general pat­ based on attendance at eleven of tern laid down by New York in these gatherings from '46 through 1939-an address of welcome, '62. introduction of the famous and in­ The 1946 Convention was famous, speeches by notables, a held, kicking and screaming, in scheduled program and a Conven­ Los Angeles at a hall called the tion Banquet. Park View Manor, so-called be­ Again, by today's standards, cause it overlooked MacArthur there was nothing earth-croggling Park, a spot well worth overlook­ about the program. The prindpal ing under any circumstances. The entertainment was a showing of attendance was small; 12 5 people the old silent UFA film, Metrop­ and Forrest J. Ackerman, who col· olis, which didn't offer nearly as lapsed before my arrival and took many weird effects as the fannish to his bed. The rest of us stayed up baseball game the following day. to listen to A. E. van Vogt and E. The Banquet cost the enormous Mayne Hull, to attend a Masquer· THE CON\'1NTIONAL APPROACH 109 ade Ball which has since become halls, Banquet-room facilities, an important feature of every bars, smoke-fiUed rooms and other subsequent Convention and to en­ indispemable adjuncts including gage in the casual camaradie non-nmctiening ele\tators and un­ which is perhaps the most attrac­ available room-service. Also the tive feature of these get-togethers date had been advanced to Labor fur fans and pros alike. I shared Day Weekend, in recognition of the podium at the Banquet with the fact that many fans were no Ray Bradbury and Leigh Brackett, longer teen-agers who hitch-hiked among others, and for the first time to the "Con" but full-gr~twn, re­ in my own career as a fan and as a sponsible (and irresponsible) professional writer, met a sizeable adults who had to reckon with group of fellow-readers and fel­ regular working-schedules. High­ low-chirospastics. light of the New Orleans program It was all so enjoyable that I was the introduction of two brand­ needed two years in which to re­ new science fiction movies, The cover, but in 1948 I flew to To­ Da1 The Earth Stood Still and ronto as Guest of Honor, along When Worlds Collide, both of with Bob Tucker. Again attend­ which were speoially previewed ance was small, the program infor­ for the Convention audience mal, the setting modest. But we alone; in the case of the former, were in Canada; Conventions had the producers rented the largest already begun to take on -.a truly theatre in town for the occasion. international aspect, and fans in Science Fiction Conventions were London were beginning their an­ graduating to the Big Time, and nual gatherings. And a general the local press-coverage no longer procedure was being crystallized; waxed facetious about kids in pro­ each year fan-groups from various peDer-beanies waving zap-guns. cities would attend and make a bid As a 'matter of feet, there was a for their community as the follow­ boom in the field, both in maga­ ing year's Convention-site. Con­ zines and book-publication, and in ventions were financed by a small Chicago, in 1952, the echoes re­ membership fee ($1 then, $3 to­ sounded through the Morrison Ho­ day) plus proceeds from the auc­ tel, where more than I ,000 at­ tions. tendees assembled for a dazzling The following two years I de­ affair. Somehow I got trapped into voted to my hobby (raising pedi­ serving as Toastmaster at the Ban­ greed vultures) but in 19 51 I was quet, which allowed me the pleas­ off to New Orleans. By now, Con­ ure of introducing Guest of Honor ventions were being held in official Hugo Gemsback, the man who­ hotels, complete with meeting- in a large measure-wM responsi- 110 FANTASY AND SCIENCE FICTION ble for it all. I was also privileged American fan to the British gath­ to hear science expert Willy Ley ering. assert that he'd.never seen a flying In 19 53 I went to the Conven­ saucer, and to remedy that lack by tion in Philadelphia; in '54 it was letting By with a saucer at him. San Francisco, and in '55, Cleve­ The turnout of notable fans and land. 1956 brought the Conven­ professionals was impressive, the tion back to New York again, and program (which included the first in 1957 it became a true "World" science fiction ballet) exciting, affair in London-with over 50 and the four-day nonstop schedule American fans chartering a plane of parties beggared description­ and flying across to attend. I didn't to say nothing of some of the hosts. make the scene, being busy with From '52, World Science Fiction my new hobby (necrophilism) hut Conventions became truly impres­ I was in Los Angeles in '58 and De­ sive events, calling for tremendous troit in '59. During the next two effort and dedication on the part years I was occupied with a small of the fan-groups sponsoring them. entertainment project (geeking and requiring the services of many canaries) but 1962 found me in people to provide stimulating pro­ Chicago, and subsequently in an gram-fare. Also inaugurated were iron lung after the lavish hospital­ a series of annual awards for the ity. Conventions have enabled me year's "best" in the field-novel, to hurl insults as a speaker and short story, artist, magazine, dra­ Toastmaster, participate in panel matic presentation, fan-magazine, discussions and playlets, witness etc.-affeetionately dubbed "Hu­ the premiere of the world's first gos" in honor of Gernsback. I have science fiction opera, see rare films, one of these trophies on my desk; attend the fabulous art shows it's an impressive piece with a gold which are now a regular annual plaque set in a wooden base, from feature, buy special memorabilia which rises what is either a silver at auctions, ogle thechicks at the rocket or an elephant's supposi­ Masquerade Balls and "Fashions of tory, I'm not quite sure which. the Future" style-shows, hear first­ But I'm proud of it, and the E. E. rate talks by first-rate scientists, Evans Memorial Award which has meet fans and publishers and art­ also been bestowed in recent years. ists and editors and fellow-writers Along with the awards has come from all over the world, catch a another annual institution-the glimpse of many cities I might not Trans-Atlantic Fan Fund which, otherwise have visited, and­ by popular subscription, alter­ above all-enjoy the stimulating nately brings a British fan to an company of people who share kin­ American Convention or sends an dred interests in one of the world's THJ!. CON'Vt!NnONA'L APPRO~ lll most unusual and engrossing hob­ attendance in their teens continue bies. (No, I'm not talking about to appear in their forties, and such sex: I understand that its inventor, redoubtable professionals as An­ Isaac Asimov, plans to cover this thony Boucher and E. E. Smith, subject in a forthcoming issue.) Ph.d. have declared and demon­ Thanks to Conventions, I've strated that the dream of their found lifel&ng friends; many of lives is to move on from one Con­ them people I only see once ever.y vention to another in a continuing few years, but with whom-when euphoria of tape-recording, flash­ we meet again, three thousand bulb popping, autograph parties, miles away from our last encoun­ interview .sessions, and relaxed ter-! can pick up a conversation conviviality. in mid-sentence and continue as Actually, as I've stated before in though we had only been momen­ the past (I only state before in the tarilf interrupted. future when writing a time-travel­ This is not an isolated, subjec­ ing story) the C&nvention is a min­ tive reaction; witness the fact that, iature world of make-believe all its in addition to the Worl'd Conven­ own; a three-ring circus that comes tions, there have been a continu­ to a different town for a three-day ing· series of regional gatherings stand just once a year, not for for many years-the ESFA and profit but for pleasure and partici­ Philadelphia Conferences and pation. There's nothing compara- Lunacons in the Ea5t, the annual 111e to the unique quality of the Midwescon in Cincinnati, the Science Fiction Conventions, and Westercons on the Pacific Coast. I guess that's why I like them­ Some fortunate fans who started they're so unconventional.

CONVENTION NOTE

The next World Science Fiction Convention will be held on Labor Day weekend in Oakland, California. Membership fee for attendees is $3.00. Address: Pacificon II, P. 0. Box 261, Fairmont Station, El Cerrito, Oalifomia. Not the least curious-but perhaps the fii08t ooerlooked-thing about the Wandering Jew is that he was obviously not a Jew at all, but, as his name (a name no Jew has ever borne or would ever bear) indicates, a Persian. What brought him to Jerusalem or what prompted him, on that misfortunate day, to speak the taunting words (in one version of them), Go-why dost thou tarry?, we mwt leave to students qf the strange and copious legend . • . legend which, Heaven knows, in times past, formed part of the very fabric of Jew-hatred. Not so, however, in Mr. Ballard's haunting story, which will, we wager, cause you to look more closely at many an Old Master. And perhaps at a very few New ones.

THE LOST LEONARDO

by J. G. Ballard

THE J)ISAPPBARANCB-OR, TO loss of yet another over-publicised put it less euphemistically-the masterpiece, hut in fact the news theft of the Crucifixion by Leo­ of its disappearance was received nardo da Vinci from the Museum by the world with genuine con­ of the Louvre in Paris, discovered sternation and outrage. From all on the morning of April19; 1965, over the globe thousands of tele­ caused a scandal of unprecedented grams poured in daily at the Quai proportions. A decade of major art d'Orsay and the Louvre, the thefts, such as those of Goya's French consulates at Bogata and Duke of W ellingum from the Na­ Guatemala City were stoned, and tional Gallery, London, and col­ the panache and finesse of press lections of impressionists from the attaches at every embassy from homes of millionaires in the South Buenos Aires to Bangkok were of France and California, as well strained to their not inconsidera­ as the obviously inflated prices gle limits. paid in the auction rooms of Bond I myself reached Paris over Street and the Rue de Rivoli, twenty-four hours after what was might have been expected to ac­ being called 'the great Leonardo custom the general public to the scandal' had taken place, and the 112 113 atmosphere of bewilderment and fine arts-1 was, and am, a direc­ indignation was palpable. All the tor of Northeby's, the world-fa­ way from Orly Airport the news­ mous Bond Street auctioneers­ paper headlines on the kiosks bla­ by and large coincided with those zoned the same story. of the general public. As the taxi As the Continental Daily Mail passed the Tuiledes Gardens I put it succinctly! looked out at the crude half-tone illustrations of da Vinci's effulgent LEONARDO'S CRUCIFIXION masterpiece reproduced in the STOLEN newspapers, recalling the im­ £5 Million Masterpiece Vanishes mense splendaur of the painting, from Louvre with its unparalleled composition and handling of chiar.oscura, its Official Paris, by all accounts, unsurpassed technique, which to­ was in uproar. The hapless direc­ gether had launched the High tor of the Louvre had been recalled Renaissance and provided a bea­ from a UNESCO conference in con for the sculptors, painters and Brasilia and was now on the car­ architects of the Baroque. pet at the Elysee Palace, reporting Despite the two million repro­ personally to the President, the ductions of the painting sold each Deuxieme Bureau had been alert­ year, not to mention the countless ed, and at least three ministers pastiches and inferior imitations, without portfolio had been ap­ the subject matter of the painting pointed, their political futures still retained its majestic power. staked to the recovery of the paint­ Completed two years after da ing. As the P-resident himself had Vinci's V-irgin and St. Anne, also remaliked at his press conference in the Louvre, it was n<~t only one the previous afternoon, the theft of the few Leonardos to have sur­ of a Leonardo was an affair not vived intact the thousand eager only for France, but for the entire hands of the retouchers of four world, and in a passionate plea he centuries, but was the on}y paint­ enjoined everyone to help effect ing by the master, a,part from the its speedy return (despite the emo­ dissolving and barely visible Last tionally charged atmosphere, cyni­ Supper, in which he had handled cal observers noticed that this was a composition with a large land­ the first crisis of his career when scape and a huge gallery of sup­ the Great Man did not conclude porting figures. his peroration with 'Viva La It was this latter factor, per­ France'). haps, which gave the painting its My own feelings, despite my terrifying, hallucinatory power. professional involvement with the The enigmatic, almo5t ambivalent lH PANTASY AND SCII.NCJl PicnON expression on the face of the d-ying Bourbon Pretender in Notre Dame Christ, the hooded serpentine eyes would hne required such an elab­ of the Madonna and Magdalene, orate smoke-screen. these characteristic signatures of At the first opportunity I raised Leonardo became more than mere my doubts with Georg de Stael, the mannerisms when set against the director of Galleries Normande huge spiral concourse of attendant with whom I was staying during figures that se~med to swirl up my visit. Ostensibly I had come to into · the distant sky across the Paris to attend a conference that Place of Bones, transforming the afternoon of art dealers and gal­ whole image of the crucifixion into lery directors who had also suf­ an apocalyptic vision of the resur­ fered from thefts of major works of rection and judgment of mankind. art, but to any outsider our mood From this single canvas had come of elation and high spirits would the great frescoes of Michelangelo have suggested some other motive. and Raphael in the Sistine Chap­ This, of course, would have been el, the entire schools of Tintoretto correct. Whenever a large stone is and Veronese. That someone cast into the turbid waters of in­ should have the audacity to steal ternational art, people such as my­ it was a tragic comment on man­ self and Georg de Stael immediate­ kind's respect for its greatest ly take up our positions on the monuments. bank, watching for any unusual And yet, I wondered as we ar­ ripple or malodorous bubble. rived at the offices of Galleries Without doubt the theft of the Normande et Cie in the Made­ Leonardo would reveal a good deal leine, had the painting really been more than the identity of some stolen at all? It& size, some 15 feet crack-pot cat burglar. All the dark­ by 18 feet, and weight-it had er fish would now be swimming been transferred from the orivinal frantically for cover, and a salu­ canvas to an oak panel-pre~lud­ tary blow had been struck at our ed a single fanatic or psychopath, official establishment. and no gang of professional art Such feelings of revenge obvi­ thieves would waste their time ously animated Georg de Stael as stealing a painting for which there he moved with dapper, light· would be no market. Could it be, footed ease around his desk to perhaps, that the French govern­ greet me. His blue silk summer ment was hoping to distract atten­ suit, well in advance of the sea­ tion from some other impending son, glittered like his smooth bril­ event, though nothing less than liantined hair, his svelte rapacious the re-introduction of the mon­ features breaking into a smile of archy and the -coronation of the roguish charm. niB LOST LEONARDO 115 "My dear Charles, I assure you, dear Charles, I just do not know. categorically, the confounded pic­ It's a eomplete mystery. Everyone ture has actually gone-" Georg is as baffied as you are." shot out three inches of elegant "In that case it must be an in­ chalk-blue cuff and snapped his side job." hands together "-puff! For once "Definitely not. The present everyone is speaking the truth. crowd at the Louvre are beyond What is· even more remarkable, the reproach." He tapped the tele­ painting was genuine." phone. 'This morning I was "I don't know whether I'm glad speaking to some of our more dubi­ to hear that or not," I admitted. ous contacts-Antweiler in Mes­ "But it's certainly more than you sina and Kokoschka in Beirut­ can say for most of the Louvre­ and they are both mystified. In and the National Gallery." fact they're convinced that either "Agreed." Georg straddled his the whole thing is a put-up affair desk, his patent leather shoes by the present regime, or else the twinkling in the light. "I had Kremlin itself is involved." hoped that this catastrophe might "The Kremlin?'' I echoed in­ induce the authorities to make a credulously. At the invocation of clean breast of some of their so­ this name the atmosphere height­ called treasures, in an auempt, as ened, and for the next half an it were, to dispel some of the magic hour we spoke in whispers. surrounding the Leonardo. But they are in a complete fuddle." The conference that afternoon, For a moment we both contem­ at the Palais de Chaillot, offered plated what such a sequence of no further clues. Chief Detective­ admissions would do to the art Inspector Carnot, a massive markets of the world-the price of gloomy man in a faded blue suit, anything even remotely genuine took the chair, flanked by other would soar-as well as te the pop­ agents of the Deuxieme Bureau. ular image of Renaissance paint­ All of them rooked tired and di­ ing as something sacrosanct and spirited; by now they were having unparalleled. However, this was to check up on some dozen false not to gainsay the genius of the alarms each hour. Behind them, stolen Leonardo. like a hostile jury, sat a sober­ "Tell me, George," I asked, faced group of investigators from "Who stole it?" I assumed he Lloyds of London and Morgan knew. Guaranty Trust of New York. By For the first time in many years contrast, the two hundred dealers Georg seemed at a loss for an an­ and agents sitting on the gilt swer. He shrugged helplessly. "My chairs below the platform pre- 116 tented an animated scene, chat­ tographs had been taken the Jut tering away in a dozen languages time the picture was removed for and flying a score of speculative cleaning, and after a brief bout of kites. questioning it transpired that this After a brief resume, deliver-ed had been completed only two days in a voice of sepulchral resigna­ before the theft. tion, Inspector Carnot introduced At this news the atmosphere of a burly Dutchman next to him, the conference changed. The hun­ Superintendent Jurgens of the In­ dred private conversations ceased, terpol bureau at The Hague, and coloured silk handkerchiefs were then called on M. Auguste Pecard, returned to their breast pockets. This merely confirmed that the se­ I nudged Georg de Stael. "So curity arrangements at the Louvre that explains it." Obviously the were first-class and that it was ab­ painting had disappeared during solutely impossible for the paint­ its period in the laboratory, where ing to have been stolen. I could the security arrangements would see that Pecard was still not en­ be less than fool-proof. "It was not tirely convinced that it had gone. stolen from the gallery at all. • •. • • the pressure panels in the The hubbub around us had re­ floor surrounding the painting started. Two hundred noses once have not been disturbed, nor have again were lifted to scent the trail. the two infrared beams across its So the painting had been stolen, face been broken. Gentlemen, I was somewhere at large in the assure you it is impossible to re­ world. The rewards to the discov­ move the painting without first erer, if not the Legion of Honour dismantling the bronze frame. or a Knighthood, then at least This alone weighs eight hundred complete freedom from all income pounds and is bolted into the wall tax and foreign exchange investi­ behind it. But the electric alarm gations, hovered like a spectre be­ circuit which flows through the fore us. bolts was not interrupted .••" On the way back, however, I was looking up at the two Georg stared sombrely through the life-size photographs of the front window of the taxi. and reverse faces of the painting "The painting was stolen hom fastened to the screens behind the the gallery," he said to me pen­ dais. The latter showed the back sively. "I saw it there myself just of the oak panel with its six alu­ twelve hours before it vanished." minium ribs, contact points for He took my arm and held it tightly. the circuit and a mass of chalked "We'll find it, Charles, for the graffiti enscribed over the years by glory oj; Northeby's and the Gal­ tlhe muewn labor.atories. The pho- leries Normande. But, JDf God. 'ftD LOST LEONARDO 117 111f God, the man who stole it was Only Georg de Stael seemed a thief out of this world!" able to maintain his interest in the search. Now and then he would So began the quest for the miss­ put through a call to London, re­ ing Leonardo. I returned to Lon­ queSting some obscure piece of in­ don the next morning, hut Georg formation about an anonymous and I were in regular contact by buyer of a Titian or Rembrandt in telephone. Initially, like all the the late 18th Century, or the his­ others on its trail, we merely lis­ tory of some damaged copy by a tened, ears to the ground for an pupil of Rubens or Raphael. He unfamiliar foot-fall. In the ctowd­ seemed particularly interested in ed auction rooms and galleries we works known to have been dam­ waited for the indiscrete word, for aged and subsequently restored, the give-away clue. Business, of information with which many pri­ course, was buoyant, every mu­ vate owners are naturally jealous seum and private owner with a of parting. third-rate Rubens or Raphael had Consequently, when he called now moved up a rung. With luck to see me in London some four the :renewed market activity would months after the disappearance of uncover some distant accomplice the Leonardo, it was not in a of the thief, or a previous substi­ purely jocular sense that I asked: tute for the Leonardo-perhaps a "Well, Georg, do you know who pastiche Mona Lisa hy one of Ver­ stole it yet?'' · rocchio's pupils-would be jetti­ Unclipping a large briefcase, soned by the thief and appear on Georg smiled at me darkly. "Would one of the shadier markets. If the it surprise you if I said 'yes'? As a hunt for the vanished painting matter of fact, I don't know, but I was conducted as loudly as ever in have an idea, an hypothesis, shall the outside world, within the trade we say. I thought you might be in­ all was quiet and watchful. terested to hear it." In fact, too quiet. By rlghts "Of course, Georg. So this is something should have material­ what you've been up to." ised, some faint clue should have He raised a thin forefinger to si­ appeared on the fine filters of the lence me. Below the veneer of galleries and auction rooms. But . easy charm I noticed a new mood nothing was heard. As the wave of of seriousness, a· cutting of con­ activity launched by the displaced versational corners. "First, Charles, Leonardo rolled past and business before you laugh me out of your resumed its former tempo, the office, let me say that I consider painting became just another on my theory completely fantastic the list of lost masterpieces. and implausible, an, "Exactly. After all, the present the figure of Ahasuerus stood treatment makes no sense. If among the throng on the crowded you're still skeptical, look at these canvas. The unusual feature was others." 122 FANTASY AND SCIENCE. FICTIOS Standing up, we began to go know all this is still hypothesis, but through the remainder of the pho­ what other explanation can you tographs. In each of the others, find?" the Poussin, Holbein, Goya and Shaking my head, I went over Rubens, the same figure was to he to the window, letting the noise found, the same dark saturnine and movement of Bond Street cut face regaroing the cross with an through Georg's heady specula­ expression of compassionate un­ tions. "Are you seriously suggest­ derstanding. In view of the very ing, Georg, that the black-robed different styles of the artists, the figure of Ahasuerus is promenad­ degree of similarity was remarka­ ing somewhere on those pave­ ble. In each, as well, the pose was ments below us now, and that all meaningless, the characterisation through the centuries he's been completely at odds with the leg­ stealing and retouching paintings endary role of Ahasuerus. that represent him spurning Je­ By now the intensity of Georg's sus? The idea's ludicrous!" conviction was communicating it­ "No more ludicrous than the self to me physically. He drummed theft of the painting. Everyone the desk with the palm of one agrees it could not have been sto­ hand. "In each case, Charles, all len by anyone bounded by the six paintings were stolen shortly laws of the physical universe." after they had been cleaned-even For a moment we stared at each the Holbein was looted from the other across the desk. "All right," I Herman Goering collection by temporised, not wishing to offend some renegade S.S. after being re­ him. The intensity of his idee fixe paired by concentration camp in­ had alarmed me. "But isn't our best mates. As you yourself said, it's al­ plan simply to sit back and wait most as if the thief was unwilling for the Leonardo to turn up again?" for the world to see the true image "Not necessarily. Mast of the of Ahasuerus's character exposed, stolen paintings remained lost for and deliberately painted in these ten or twenty years. Perhaps the apologias." effort of stepping outside the "But Georg, you're making a bounds of space and time exhausts large assumption there. Can you him, or pethaps the sight of the pl'Ove that in each case, apart from original paintings terrifies him so the Leonardo, there is an original -" He broke off as I began to version below the present one?" come forward to him. "Look, "Not yet. Naturally galleries Charles, it is fantastic, but there~ are reluctant to give anyone the a slim chance it may he true. This opportunity to show that their is where I need your help. It's ob­ works are not entirely genuine. I vious this man must be a great pa- THE. LOST L!.OK\RDO 123 tron of the arts, drawn by an ir­ have spoken to Leonardo? To resistible compulsion, by unas­ Michelangelo, and Titian and suageable feelings of guilt, towards Rembrandt?" those artists painting crucifixions. Georg nodded. "And someone We must begin to watch the sale else too," he added pensively. rooms and galleries. That face, those black eyes and that haunted For the next month, after profile-sooner or later we'll see Georg's return to Paris I spent less him, searching for another Cruci­ time in my office and more in the fiximz or Pieta. Cast your mind sale rooms, watching for that fa­ back, do you recognise that face?" miliar profile which something I looked down at the carpet, the convinced me I had seen before. image of the dark-eyed wanderer But for this undeniable convic­ before me. Go quicker, he had tion I would have dismissed taunted Jesus as he passed bear­ Georg's hypothesis as obsessive fan­ ing the cross towards Golgotha, tasy. I made a few tactful en­ and Jesus had replied: I go, but quiries of my assistants, and to my thou shalt wait until I return. I annoyanee two of them also vague­ was about to sav 'no', but some­ ly remembered such a person. Mt­ thing restrained me, some reflex er this I found mvself unable to pause of recognition stirred drive Georg de Stae'l's fancies from through my mind. That handsome my mind. No further news was Levantine profile, in a different heard of the missing Leonardo­ costume, of course, a smart dark­ the complete absence of any clues striped lounge suit, gold-topped mystified the police and the art cane and spats, bidding through world alike. an agent ... Consequently, it was with an "You have seen him?" Georg immense feeling of relief, as much came over to me. "Charles, I think as of excitement, that I received I have too." five weeks later the following tele­ I gestured him away. "I'm not gram: sure, Georg, but ... I almost won­ CHARLES. COME IMMEDI­ der." Curiously it was the re­ ATELY. I HAVE SEEN HIM. touched portrait of Ahasuems, GEORG DE STAEL. railier than Leonardo's original, This time, as my taxi carried me which seemed more real, closer to from Orly Airport to the Made­ the face I felt sure I had actually leine, it was no idle amusement seen. Suddenly I pivoted on my that made me watch the Tuileries heel. "Confound it, Georg, do you Gardens for any sight of a tall man realise that if this incredible idea in a black slouch hat sneaking of your's is true this man must through the trees with a rolled-up 124 PANT.UY AND SCI£NC1t PIC'nON canvas under his arm. Was Georg maritan's face reminded me of de Stael finally and irretrievably Ahasuerus. Just then I looked up out of his mind, or had he in fact across the crowded auction room." seen the phantom Ahasuerus? Georg sat forward. "To my amaze­ When he greeted me at the ment there he was, sitting not doorway of Normande et Cie his three feet away in the front row of handshake was as firm as ever, his seats, staring me straight in the face composed and relaxed. In his face. I could hardly take my eyes office he sat back and regarded me off him. As soon as the bidding quizzically over the tips of his fin­ started he came in hard, going up gers, evidently so sure of himself in two thousands of francs." that he could· let his news bide its "He took the painting?" time. "No. Luckily I still had my wits "He's here, Charles," he said at about me. Obviously I had to be last. "In Paris, staying at the Ritz. sure he was the right man. Previ­ He's been attending the sales of ously his appearances have been 19th and 20th Century masters. solely as Ahasuerus, but few paint­ With luck you'll see him this after­ ers today are doing crucifixions in noon." the bel canto style, and he may For once my incredulity re­ have tried to redress the balance turned, but before I could stutter of guilt by appearing in other my objections George silenced me. roles, the Samaritan for example. "He's just as we expected, He was left alone at 15,000-ac­ Charles. Tall and powerfully built, tually the reserve was only ten­ with a kind of statuesque grace, so I leaned over and had the the sort of man who moves easily painting withdrawn. I was sure he among the rich and nobility. Leo­ would come back today if he was nardo and Holbein caught him Ahasuerus, and I needed 24 hours exactly, that strange haunted in­ to get hold of you and the police. tensity about the eyes, the wind of Two of Carnot's men will be here deserts and great ravines." this afternoon. I told them some "When did you first see him?" vague story and they'll be unobtru­ "Yesterday afternoon. We had sive. Anyway, naturally there was almost completed the 19th Cen­ the devil's own row when this lit­ tury sales when a small Van Gogh tle Van Gogh was withdrawn. Ev­ -an inferior copy by the painter eryone here thought I'd gone mad. of The Good Samaritan-came Our dark-faced friend leapt up up. One of those painted during and demanded the reason, so I his last madness, full of turbulent had to say that I suspected the au­ spirals, the figures like tormented thenticity of the painting and was beasts. For some reason the Sa- protecting the reputation of the THI. LOST LEONARDO 125 gallery, but if satisfied would put some petty princeling or mer­ it up the next day." chant-king. The Leonardo is un­ "Olever of you," I commented. traceable. He kept open house, Georg inclined his head. "I beggars and goats wandered thought so too. It was a neat trap. through his studio at will, anyone Immediately he launched into a could have got in and posed. But passionate defence of the painting the others were more select. The -normally a man with his obvi­ Ahasuerus in the Holbein was ous experience of sale rooms would posed by a Sir Henry Daniels, a have damned it out of hand­ leading banker and friend of Hen­ bringing up all sorts of details ry VIII. In the Veronese by a about Vincent's third-rate pig­ member of the Council of Ten, ments, the back of the canvas and none other than the Doge-to-be, so on. The back of the canvas, Enri Danieli-we've both stayed note, what the sitter would most in the hotel of that name in Ven­ remember about a painting~ I said ice. In the Rubens by Baron Hen­ I was more or less convinced, and rik Nielson, Danish Ambassador he promised to be back today. He to Amsterdam, and in the Goya b~· left his address in case any diffi­ a certain Enrico Da Nella, finan­ culty came up." Georg took a sil­ cier and great patron of the Prado. ver-embossed card from his pocket While in the Poussin by the fa­ and read out: "'Count Enrique mous dilettante, Henri, Due de Danilewicz, Villa d'Est, Cadaques, Nile." Costa Brava."' Across the card Georg closed the note-book with was enscribed: 'Ritz Hotel, Paris.' a flourish. I said: "It's certainh· "Cadaques," I repeated. "Dali is remarkable." · nearby there, at Port Lligat. An­ "You don't exaggerate. Danile­ other coincidence." wicz, Daniels, Danieli, Da Nella, "Perhaps more than a coinci­ de Nile and Nielson. Alias Ahasu­ dence. Guess what the Catalan erus. You know Charles, I'm a lit­ master is at present executing for tle frightened, but I think we have the new Cathedral of St. Joseph at the missing Leonardo within our San Diego? One of his greatest grasp.'' commissions to date. Exactly! A Nothing was more disappoint­ crucifixion. Our friend Ahasuerus ing, therefore, than the failure of is once more doing his rounds." our quarry to appear that after­ Georg pulled a leather-bound noon. pad from his centre drawer. "Now The transfer of the Van Gogh listen to this. I've been doing some from the previous day's sale had research on the identity of the fortunately given it a high lot models for Ahasuerus-usually number, aftu JOme tlnee do!ien 126 FANTASY AND SCHiNC:I FICTION 20th Century paintings. As the suite and left Paris for the south. bids for the Kandinsky's and Le­ "No doubt he's expert at side­ ger's came in, I sat on the podium stepping such traps. What now?" I behind Georg, surveying the ele­ asked. gant assembly below. In such an "Cadaques." international gathering, of Ameri­ "Georg! Are you insane?" can connoisseurs, English press "Not at all. There's only a lords, French and Italian aristoc­ chance, but we must take it! In­ racy, coloured by a generous spector Carnot will find a plane. sprinkling of ladies of the demi­ I'll invent some fantasy to please monde, the presence of even the him. Come on, Charles, I'm con­ remarkable figure Georg had de­ vinced we'll find the Leonardo in scribed would not have been over­ his villa." conspicuous. However, as we moved steadily down the cata­ We arrived at Barcelona, Car­ logue, and the flashing of the pho­ not in tow, with Superintendent tographers' bulbs became more and Jurgens of Interpol to smooth our more wearisome, I began to won­ way through customs, and three der whether he would appear at hours later set off in a posse of po­ all. His seat in the front row re­ lice cars for Cadaques. The fast mained reserved for him, and I ride along that fantastic coast­ waited impatiently for this fugi­ line, with its monstrous rocks like tive through time and space to ma­ giant sleeping reptiles and the terialise and make his magnificent glazed light over the embalmed entry promptly as the Van Gogh sea, reminiscent of all Dali's time­ was announced. less beaches, was a fitting prelude As it transpired, both the seat to the final chapter. The air bled and the painting remained untak­ diamonds around us, sparkling off en. Put off by Georg's doubts as to the immense spires of rock, the its authenticity, the painting huge lunar ramparts suddenly giv­ failed to reach its reserve, and as ing way to placid hays of luminous the last sales closed w~ were left water. alone on the podium, our bait un­ The Villa d'Est stood on a take.n. promontory a thousand feet above "He must have smelled a rat," the town, its high walls and shut­ Geor·g whispered, after the attend­ tered moorish windows glistening ants had confirmed that Count in the sunlight like white quartz. Danilewicz was not present in any The great black doors, like the of the other sale-rooms. A moment vaults of a cathedral, were sealed, later a telephone call to the Ritz and a continuous ringing of the established that he had vacated his hell brought no reply. At this a pro- THE LOST LEONARDO 127 longed wrangle ensued between Suddenly, Georg clenched my Jurgens and the local police, who elbow and pointed through the were torn between their reluctance window. to offend an important local dig­ "Charles! There he isl" nitary-Count Danilewicz had Lowering my \vindow as the evidentlv founded a dozen scholar­ drivers cursed each other, I looked ships fo~ promising regional artists out into the dim cabin of the adja· -and their eagerness to partake cent car. Sitting in the back seat, in the discovery of the missing his head raised to the noise, was a Leonardo. huge Rasputin-like. figtU'-e in a Impatient of all this, Georg and black pin-sl:i"ipe suit, his white I borrowed a car and chauffeur cuffs and gold tie-pin glinting in and set off for Port Lligat, promis­ the shadows, gloved hands crossed ing the Inspector that we would in front of him over an ivory-han­ return in Wn.e for the com:msreial dJe.d cane. As we edged past I airliner which was due to land at caught a glimpse of his great satur­ Barcel~Jna from Paris some two nine head, whose living features hours later, presumably carrying matched and corrobor-ated ex-actly Count Dani.J.ewicz. "No doubt, these which I had seen repro­ hewever," Geerg remarlted softly duced by so many hands upon so as we moved off, "he travels by IIMlny canvasses. The dark eyes other transport." glowed with an intense lustre, the What excuse we W6uld make to black eyebrows rearing from his penetrate the private menage of high forehead like wings, the Spain's most distinguished painter sharp curve of the beard carrying I had not decided, though the pos­ the sweep of his strong jaw for­ sibility of simultaneous ()De-man ward into the air like a spear. shows at Northe~y's and GaHeries Elegantly suited though he was, N~rmande might have appeased his whole presence radiated a tre­ him. As we drove down the final mendous restless energy, a power­ approach to the familiar tiered ful charisma that seemed to extend white villa by the water's edge, beyond the confines of the car. For a large limousine came towards us, a moment we exchanged glances, bearing away a recent guest. separated from each other by orrly Our two cal's passed at a point two or three feet. He was staring where the effective width of the beyORd me, however, at some d.is­ road was narrowed bv .a nexus of tant landmark, some invis:lble hill­ pot-holes, and for a ·mODient the crest forever silhouetted against heavy saloons wallowed side by the horizon, and I saw in his eyes side in the dust like two groaning that expression of irredeemable re· mastodons. morse, of almost hallucinatory de· 128 PANTASY AND SClENC& PICTION spair, untouched by self-pity or The painting had suffered no any conceivable extenuation, that damage, though the first cursory one imagines on the faces of the glance confirmed that a skilled damned. hand had been at work on a small "Stop him!" Georg shouted into portion. The face of the black­ the noise. "Chades, warn him!" robed figure once again looked up­ Our car edged upwards out of wards to the cross, a hint of hope, the final rut, and I shouted perhaps even of redemption, in its throagh the engine fumes: wistful gaze. The brush-work had "Ahasuerusl Ahasuerusl" dried, but Georg reported to me His w.Ud eyes swung back, and that the thin layer of varnish was he rose forward in his seat, a black still tacky. arm on the whulow ledge, like On our feted and triumphant some imm811Se baH-crippled angel retu.m to Paris, 6eorg and I rec­ about m take flight. Then the two a:mmeRded that in view of the cars surged apart, and we were hazards already suffered by the separated from the limousine by a paiRting no further attempts tornado of dust. Enchanted from should be made to clean or :restore the placid air, for ten minutes the it, and with a grateful sigh the di­ squall seethed about us. rector and staff of the Louvre By the time it subsided md we sealed it baek into its wall. The had managed to reverse, the great painting may not be entirely by limousine had vanished. the ·hand of Leonardo da Vinci, but we feel that the few additions They found the Leonardo in the have earned their place. Villa d'Est, propped agai.Jast the No further news w-as heard of wall in its great gilt frame in the Cowtt DanilewiCl:, but Georg re­ dining room. To everyone's sur­ cently told me that a Professor prise the bou.se was found to be Henrico Daniella was reported to completely empty, though two have been appointed director of manservants who had been given the Museum of Pan-Christian Art the day off testified that when they at Santiago. His attempts to com• left it that mor.11ing it had been municate with Professor Daniells lavishly furnished as usual. How­ had failed, but he gathered that ev-er, as Georg de Stael remarked, the Museum was extremely anx­ no doubt the vanished tenant had ious to build up a large collection his own means of transport. of paintings of the Cross. **I········**************! MARKET PLACE : If •~********************* • NEW CONCEPT of learning self-hypnoslsl Now BOOKS-MAGAZINES on tape or recordl Free Literature. McKinley-Smith Co. Dept. 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130 CLifTON FADIMAN, writer and editor, judge of the Book-of-the-Month Club, writes: "Each of us has hu own 8J>ecial e•cape-reading. Mine is science fiction. To my mind Fantasy and Selena Fiction regularly supplies the finest the field has to offer in the way of short fiction ."

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BASIL DAVENPORT'{ writer Sta rs of the entertainme nt world . .. notables in and editor, judge o the Book-of-the-Month Club, the news . . . d istinguished authors and editors writes: "I have been a fan - all owe much of their success to imagination. Sa of science fiction all my life, and of The Magazine of when they want relaxation or stimulation in read­ Fantasy and Science Fiction ing, they turn naturally to the finest works of for all its life. F&SF gives us some of the best writing imagination; tales of science fiction. And they in the field, and the field find such stories-exciting, fast-pace d and ex­ is nne of great importance., ceedingly well written- in THE MAGAZINE OF FANTASY AND SCIENCE FICTION. Here they HUGO GERNSIACK, find curre~t top-notchers such as Robert Hein· pioneer in science fiction publishing, writer and editor, lein, Arthur C. Clarke, Theodore Sturgeon and Writes : "Plus ,a change, plus Isaac Asi mov; plus unexpected fantasies from c'est Ia mtme chose-is a French truism, lamentably wri ters famous in othe r fields, such as Stuart accurate of much of our Palmer and Mark Van Doren. As a bonus, F&SF latter day science fic tion. Not so in the cyclotronic Magazine has a unique record of find ing stimulating new ofFantasyand Science Fiction talents-such fine writers a s Mild red Clingerman, which injects sophisticated isotopes, pregnant with Richard Matheson and Chad Oliver first appeared imagination, into many in these pages. . . . In a word, here is the best of its best narratives." of fantasy and science fiction. ORVILU PRESCOTT, literary critic and author, Book Review Editor for the New at better newsstands everv month York Times, writes: .. People who think that their literary 40c By subscri ption $4.50 a year I .Q. is too high for them to enjoy the Magazine of Fantasy and Science Fiction 347 East 53 Street New York 22. N. Y. don't know what they are missing. The number of well­ writlen, ingenious and enter­ taining stories it regularly publishes is astonishingly high."

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