PWLL OF YESTERYEAR

If you have any old photographs of Pwll that you would like to share with other readers of this magazine please send them to

Peter Kent, 53 Pwll Road, Pwll, Llanelli, SA15 4BG. Your photo will be scanned and returned. Alternatively you can e-mail them to [email protected]

DIARY DATES

To contact The Bônau Cabbage Patch or The 23 rd Sept First Day of autumn

Pwll Action Committee please call 755665 or 25 th Sept Jewish New Year hat can we say to the th W 755260 or 777420 or drop your articles or The local police rely on 4 Oct Yom Kippur st readers of this magazine except a very big reports through our letterboxes at 43 or 53 or us, the public to come forward and provide 21 Oct Trafalgar Day th thank you!! You have all been digging deep into 81 Pwll Road or you can send us e-mail at: them with information so they can provide a 24 Oct United Nations Day th your pockets and purses once again to support better service. It also keeps them in the loop of 26 Oct Summer Time Ends our summer raffle so generously. You really are [email protected] st what is really going on in our community. You 31 Oct Halloween st a very kind hearted group of people. The raffle Any photographs we use are first scanned and can contact them in several ways, all are 1 Nov All Saints Day th nd took place on 19 June and a list of the prize then the originals are returned to their rightful confidential, and each will be investigated. You 2 Nov All Souls Day th winning tickets is printed on page 18 of this owners so don’t be shy or fearful in sending us can notify them either by telephone, email, 4 Nov Mischief Night th magazine. your photographs. It would be handy though if Bobby Box etc. as follows: - PCSO 8017 Dan 5 Nov Guy Fawkes Night th This edition of the magazine has all the usual you wrote your name and address on the back Brown telephone number 101 or e-mail 9 Nov Remembrance Sunday th features that you seem to enjoy. If there is any of the photo (in pencil) or you attached one of dan.brown@dyfed-powys.pnn.police.uk or at 30 Nov St Andrews Day those ‘post-it-notes’. feature that you would like to see in the our local Bobby Box which is situated at Pwll magazine that isn’t already there let us know Post Office. You can also follow Dyfed Powys and we’ll see what we can do. Police on Twitter at www.twitter.com/dafyddP or be their friend on Facebook at Once again we also have to thank our advertisers without whose generosity the PWLL RESIDENTS & BÔNAU magazine would not be possible. TENANTS www.facebook.com/dafyddP DEADLINES ASSOCIATION We hope you enjoy the read as much as we The deadline for the have enjoyed producing it for you. The Pwll Residents Association meet on the You can't talk your way out of a autumn edition of The Bônau Cabbage Patch last Monday of every month in the vestry of situation you behave yourself into. th THANK YOU TO OUR SPONSORS Bethlehem Chapel. is 24 October 2014 - Dr Stephen Covey for your articles or We would like to welcome our new sponsors Do please go along as everyone is welcome to reports or 20 th October to the magazine and hope that our association express their views and thoughts on what they 2014 for any amendments to your advert. will be a long and enjoyable one. think should be improved in the village. LOCAL We would also like to express our thanks and NEIGHBOURHOOD gratitude to all our sponsors without whose POLICING TEAMS generous contributions this edition of the Always be on the lookout for magazine would not have been possible. conspicuousness otherwise it's Local Neighbourhood NEIGHBOURHOOD We ask our readers to patronise our sponsors hard to tell if someone is Policing Teams hold regular WATCH & POLICING whenever possible and please mention the inconspicuous. Partners and Communities TEAM Bônau Cabbage Patch when you make your Together (PACT) meetings in our area. PACT purchases. meetings are a chance to discuss problems in he Neighbourhood Watch & T our community and help to set the priorities for Policing Team hold regular local police action. Our meeting (HELP - meetings in Pwll Pavilion so that the public can Hengoed, Elli, Lleidi wards) is held in Llanelli WE’RE ON THE WEB WINTER IS meet them and discuss their problems and Town Hall on the second Wednesday every two concerns. COMING - months as follows: Don’t forget that you can Meetings (open to all) are held every CLOCKS GO view all previous editions Wednesday between 11am - noon BACK of the magazine on the web. We also October 8 th @ 6:30 th Your local neighbourhood watch co-ordinator is have over 400 old and new photographs Don’t forget to turn December 10 @ 6:30 John Edwards. You can contact John on your clocks BACK one of interest to Pwll residents there. Take 775534. You can contact your local Police hour before going to Community Support Officer Dan Brown by a look by pointing your browser to: th Everyone is welcome to attend the meetings bed on Saturday 26 October. British Summer and contribute towards the setting of police phoning 101 or by e-mail at:: th Time officially ends at 2:00am on Sunday 26 priority actions for the area. www.pwllmag.co.uk October. [email protected] DAI AND THE establishing the National Health Service. On 5 GUINNESS WEIGHTS AND BEAR July 1948, the government took over MEASURES responsibility for all medical services and there Guinness is a popular Irish Dai and his friend were was free diagnosis and treatment for all. dry stout that originated in The following exhibits

walking through the In 1951, Bevan was moved to become minister the brewery of Arthur the weights and woods when they of labour. Shortly afterwards he resigned from Guinness (1725–1803) at measures, which every spotted a vicious looking bear. Dai immediately the government in protest at the introduction of St. James's Gate, Dublin. Physician should employ, opened his bag, pulled out a pair of trainers and prescription charges for dental care and Guinness is one of the most so that he may know certainly what proportions started putting them on. Dai's friend looked at spectacles. Bevan led the left wing of the successful beer brands to use when necessary. Dai and said, "You're crazy! You'll never be Labour Party, known as the 'Bevanites', for the worldwide. It is brewed in able to outrun that bear!" next five years. In 1955, he stood as one of the almost 60 countries and is Weights and Measures of proportions: available in over 100. 20 grains of wheat make a scruple "I don't have to," Dai replied. "I only have to candidates for party leader but was defeated by Annual sales total 850 million litres (1.5 billion 3 scruples make a drachm outrun you." Hugh Gaitskell. He agreed to serve as shadow pints). 8 drachms make an ounce foreign secretary under Gaitskell.

In 1959, Aneurin Bevan was elected deputy A feature of the product is the burnt flavour that is derived from roasted unmalted barley, Fluid measures are arranged thus: leader of the Labour Party, although he was Four podfuls make one spoonful already suffering from terminal cancer. He died although this is a relatively modern MADE IN WALES - development, not becoming part of the grist Four spoonfulls make one eggshellful ANEURIN BEVAN on 6 July 1960. His wife, Jennie Lee, died in Four eggshellfuls make one cupful 1988 from natural causes at the age of 84. until the mid-20th century. For many years a 1897 - 1960 portion of aged brew was blended with freshly Four cupfuls make one quart Four quarts make one gallon brewed beer to give a sharp lactic flavour. Although the Guinness palate still features a Four gallons make one pailful Aneurin Bevan was born characteristic "tang", the company has refused Four pailfuls make one grenn (a large earthen- on 15 November 1897 in A hangover is the wrath of to confirm whether this type of blending still ware vessel) Four grenns make one mydd Tredegar, Wales. His upbringing in a poor grapes. occurs. The draught beer's thick, creamy head working class family gave him first-hand comes from mixing the beer with nitrogen when Four mydds make one myddi (a hogshead) experience of the problems of poverty and poured. It is popular with Irish people both in Also used are the following: disease. His father, David Bevan, was a coal Ireland and abroad, and, in spite of a decline in miner and his mother, Phoebe, was a consumption since 2001, is still the best-selling Two eggshells make a half pan seamstress. Aneurin was one of ten children NEWS OF THE WEIRD alcoholic drink in Ireland where Guinness & Co. two halfpans make a pan and did very poorly at school. His academic makes almost €2 billion annually. Two pans make a phioled performance was so bad his headmaster made A minister in India's most populous and Two phioleds, a cupful The company has had its headquarters in him repeat a year of his education. politically crucial state, Uttar Pradesh, has said Two cupfuls, a quart bureaucrats can steal a little as long as they London from 1932 onwards. It merged with When he was 13, Aneurin left school and began work hard - sparking national outcry in a Grand Metropolitan plc in 1997, and is now part The following are conjectural measures working in a local Tytryst colliery where he soon country whose ruling class has long been mired of the British-based multinational alcoholic dependant on the Physician's judgement: became a trade union activist. He won a in corruption scandals. drinks producer Diageo. Four grains of wheat make a pea scholarship to study in London and it was Four peas, one acorn during this period that he became convinced of Four acorns, one pigeon's egg the ideas and ideal logy of socialism. The pink-and-gold-coloured "Pour Elle" bank Four pigeon's eggs, one hen's egg

It was during the General Strike of 1926 that card, part of a cut-price summer offer by Paris- Four hen's eggs, one goose's egg Aneurin Bevan emerged as one of the main based lender Societe Generale, promises to NEWS OF THE WEIRD Four goose's eggs, one swan egg leaders of the South Wales miners and in 1929 "simplify" women's lives with up to €200 (£160) (Source: Welsh Herbal Medicine by David Hoffman) he was elected as Labour Member of of handbag theft insurance and a dedicated A 50-year-old man in New York was killed Parliament for the Ebbw Vale constituency. Five hotline for up to two electrician, locksmith or when, driving an all-terrain vehicle, he virtually years later he married the ex Independent other handyman callouts per year. decapitated himself on nearly invisible wire Labour MP Jennie Lee who was born in Fife, strung across a road as one of a series of Scotland and, who, before the 1931 General booby traps he had installed to protect his woman who said her husband was cheating Election, represented the constituency of North A marijuana plants. NEWS OF THE WEIRD Lanarkshire. on her was arrested after she allegedly jumped on his back and forced his mouth apart with her apan and Korea seem to be the birthplaces During World War Two, Aneurin Bevan was one fingers. The woman told deputies she had J A black bear went in and out of a chocolate in the quest for youthful and beautiful skin, of the leaders of the left in the House of found out her husband was cheating on her and store in a Colorado town several times early with the latest "elixir" being snail mucus - Commons. After the landslide Labour victory in she'd told him not to come home. As they one July morning, but he used the front door applied by specially bred live snails that the 1945 general election, Bevan was argued, somehow her fingers "ended up in his and didn't break a thing. He did, however, steal slither across customers' faces. appointed minister of health, responsible for mouth," the deputy wrote. some treats.

KEBAB HARK, HARK THE DOGS DO BARK the Anglo-Norman word for listen . The Australian Taxations Office: proclamations book in Chester from the early

Kebab is a Middle Eastern Hark, hark the dogs do bark 19th century records this as O Yes, O Yes! For the purpose of making a dish of pieces of meat, fish, or declaration under this The beggars are coming to The term "Posting A Notice" comes from the act vegetables roasted or grilled on Subdivision, the Commissioner town of the town crier, who having read his message a skewer or spit originating in may: Some in rags and some in to the townspeople, would attach it to the door the Eastern Mediterranean and a) treat a particular event that actually jags post of the local inn. Some newspapers took later adopted in Central Asia happened as not having happened; and And one in a velvet gown. the name "The Post" for this reason. and by the regions of the former b) b) treat a particular event that did not Mongol Empire and later actually happen as having happened and, The "Hark, hark the dogs do Town criers were protected by law, as they Ottoman Empire, before if appropriate, treat the event as: bark" rhyme dates back to 13th century sometimes brought bad news such as tax spreading worldwide. England. The origin is seeped in history. increases. Anything done by the town crier was i) having happened at a particular time; and done in the name of the ruling monarch and In American English, kebab with no qualification Wandering minstrels or troubadours and ii) ii) having involved harming a town crier was considered to be refers to shish kebab cooked on a skewer, beggars went from city to town singing their particular action by a treason. The phrase "don't shoot the whereas in Europe it refers to doner kebab, songs (some in rags and some in jags and one particular entity; and messenger" was a real command. sliced meat served in a pita. In the Middle East, in a velvet gown). Messages of dissent to the c) treat a particular event that actually however, kebab refers to meat that is cooked common people were often found in secret happened as: over or next to flames; large or small cuts of meanings to the words of their ballads. In this i) having happened at a time meat, or even ground meat; it may be served way the propaganda of the day was safely different from the time it Right now I'm having amnesia and on plates, in sandwiches, or in bowls. passed from one community to another. These actually happened; or secret messages could lead to plots and deja vu at the same time. I think The traditional meat for kebab is lamb, but ii) having involved particular uprisings against the royalty, clergy and I've forgotten this before. depending on local tastes and religious action by a particular politicians of the day. prohibitions, other meats may include beef, entity (whether or not the goat, chicken, pork or fish. Like other ethnic event actually involved Even further back in time, in Saxon England, foods brought by travellers, the kebab has any action by that entity). professional storytellers, called 'scops', would remained a part of everyday cuisine in most of also travel around the country telling stories for the Eastern Mediterranean and South Asia. It is their living. During outbreaks of the Bubonic THE KINGDOMS OF MEDIEVAL also popular among Western youth as a snack HYWEL DDA (880 - Plague strangers were looked upon with horror! after a night-out. WALES Dogs barking alerted the townspeople to 950) strangers in their area, hence the words "Hark,

Hywel Dda (Hywel the hark the dogs do bark..." Good) (c.880 – 950) was a King of Deheubarth (basically South Wales) who eventually came to TRY AND MAKE SENSE OF IT! rule most of Wales. He THE TOWN CRYER became the sole king of Seisyllwg (Ceredigion) in 920 and shortly thereafter established A town crier, or bellman, is an Donald Rumsfeld, Deheubarth, and proceeded to gain control over the entire country from Prestatyn to Pembroke. officer of the court who makes American secretary of defence: public announcements as "Reports that say that Hywel is highly esteemed among other required by the court. The crier something hasn't happened are medieval Welsh rulers. His name is particularly can also be used to make public always interesting to me linked with the codification of traditional Welsh announcements in the streets. because, as we know, there law, which were thenceforth known as the Laws Criers often dress elaborately, by are known knowns; there are things we know of Hywel Dda. The latter part of his name ( Dda , a tradition dating to the 18th we know. lit. “Good”) refers to the fact that his laws were century, in a red and gold robe, just and good. The historian Dafydd Jenkins white breeches, black boots and We also know there are known unknowns; that sees in them compassion rather than a tricorne hat. is to say we know there are some things we do punishment, plenty of common sense and not know. But there are also unknown recognition of the rights of women. Hywel Dda They carry a handbell to attract people's unknowns - the ones we don't know we don't was a well-educated man even by modern attention, as they shout the words "Oyez, Oyez, know." standards, having a good knowledge of Welsh, Oyez!" before making their announcements. The word "Oyez" means "hear ye," which is a Latin, and English. call for silence and attention. Oyez derives from PORT & THE A Hoggit is a round-bottomed decanter which stated that it would not work due to sea water BISHOP OF can only stand up when resting on a wooden seeping in under the railway embankment and NORWICH support placed on the table to the right of the also the area flooding on a regular basis. Of host or hostess. As it cannot be put down, it is course the local authority ignored this and passed directly from one guest to another and stocked the lakes on several occasions wasting ver the centuries travels round the table in one continuous thousands of pounds, one O movement without stopping until it returns to its day 27 cormorants could be several customs and base at the head of the table. seen sitting on the platforms, rituals have developed around the serving and (Source: Taylor's Port) they must have thought by enjoyment of Port. Perhaps the most known is gosh this is a good café! "Passing the Decanter". By the time you read this article the summer After the third stocking of the Tradition dictates that the port decanter should will be nearly over but at the time of writing this lakes the authorities gave up. be placed on the table to the right of the host or report, end of July we had experienced a Today, shrimps, crabs, and hostess. It should then be passed to the left, SWEDISH SINGING TOAST fabulous spell of really hot weather so I must mullet are now a common travelling round the table from guest to guest in give credit where credit is due and congratulate sight. I do have a photograph a clockwise direction until it comes back to its Apparently saying "cheers!" or "bottom's up!" Vantage Weather Services for their early of the area before excavation starting point. The decanter travels clockwise isn't enough anymore. Swedes sing when they predictions, it is about time they got it right! started but unfortunately because most people are right handed. toast. The Spiritmuseum in Stockholm is a However there was a tiny blip back on the 10th there was not sufficient room for the picture in museum focused on the "Swedish people's of May where wind speeds of 61mph were this edition but will appear in the next one. If a guest fails to pass the decanter on to his or bittersweet relationship to alcohol". The recorded at RAF Pembrey resulting in a her neighbour, it will come to a standstill. One very unusual sight this summer was that of museum has archived more than 9,000 dreadful day, very unusual for the time of year. a cat carrying a half grown rabbit, rather a large This usually happens because a guest does not snapsvisor , or drinking songs. Here's one Since the first edition of the Bônau back in June snack don’t you think, never seen that before. notice that the decanter is there, does not example from the museum's web site: 2003 the village has had many new residents If you have been wondering about those loud realise that they should pass it on or, more so here is a blast of the past. rarely, hopes that no one will notice so that they Herring and Sill bangs around mid- afternoon well they are can have a second glass. You can give us herring Back in 1999 our great lakes were excavated actually explosions of unexploded shells over at And you can give us sill and the sand today forms part of Machynys golf Whitford beach, sometimes you can see a puff Guests waiting further down the table for the But you will still be erring course, but not previously mentioned during the of smoke immediately after the noise so no decanter to arrive may become impatient. Unless you also will excavation the sand was temporarily stored need to be alarmed! However, it is considered bad form to demand Give us a glass of Akvavit opposite my home, (see photo) some residents that the decanter be passed on. Instead, the See you all at Christmas. That sure smells sweet were unaware of the huge pile, but one resident person who is preventing the decanter from To Swedes in heat of Pwll the late Byron Bowen phrased it as continuing its journey round the table is asked It gives the fish its feet Vesuvius! On one occasion while watching politely ‘Do you know the Bishop of Norwich?’ It makes the dish complete... television I was actually looking up at a This is a gentle reminder to get the decanter bulldozer spreading the sand so you can moving again. If the meaning does not sink in, (Swedes in heat?? I'll leave you with that image. – Ed) imagine the height it was, the following week, SIMPLE LOGIC the less subtle alternative ‘Is your passport in the whole mountain of sand (Vesuvius) was order?’ may be used. transported along where the cycle track exists he barrister defending Dai The origin of ‘ Do you know the Bishop of today. T Norwich? ’ is attributed to Henry Bathurst who (who was accused of was Bishop of Norwich from 1805 to 1837. burglary) tried this creative Bishop Bathurst lived to the age of 93 by which The Hundred Years defence: time his eyesight was deteriorating and he had War lasted 116 years. developed a tendency to fall asleep at the table "My client merely inserted his arm into the towards the end of the meal. As result he often The Koi Carp can live window and removed a few trifling articles. His failed to pass on the Port decanters several of more than 200 years arm is not himself, and I fail to see how you can which would accumulate by his right elbow to but the average lifespan is between 25 and 30 punish the whole individual for an offence the consternation of those seated further up the years. committed by his limb." table. A bon vivant said to possess a "Very well put," the judge replied. "Using your prodigious capacity for wine consumption, he piece of string is twice as long as half its was sometimes suspected of using these A logic, I sentence the defendant's arm to one frailties to his advantage. length. year's imprisonment. He can accompany it or

not, as he chooses." The idea of the excavations were to have The need to invoke the Bishop of Norwich can, The most popular pub name in Britain is The International fishing lakes with many of course, be avoided by the simple expedient Dai smiled, detached his artificial limb, laid it on of using a Hoggit. Red Lion competitions to be held, but local residents the bench, and walked out. KOSHER FOOD SOME STRANGE REMEDIES (from Welsh MEDICAL MAXIMS

Herbal Medicine by David osher food is food K Hoffman) He who goes to sleep TRY AND MAKE SENSE OF IT! that meets Jewish supperless will have no dietary laws, or need for Rhiwallon of kashrut . The word How to be Merry Department for Culture, Media and Sport for Myddfai. kashrut comes from a If you want to be at all times merry, eat saffron the new Licensing Act: Food or drink supplied Hebrew word for "fit" or in meat or drink, and you will never be sad; but A supper of apples - breakfast of nuts. on or from any premises is 'hot' for the "proper." Though many unfamiliar with the beware of eating over much, lest you should die purposes of this Schedule if the food or drink, or A cold mouth and warm feet will live long. concept assume "kosher food" is "healthy food," of excessive joy. any part of it:- it actually refers to any food that has been To the fish market in the morning, to the (a) before it is supplied, is prepared in adherence to Jewish law, or To Cure Envy butcher's shop in the afternoon. heated on the premises halacha . Conversely, foods labelled as "Jewish" If you should never be in an envious mood, Cold water and warm bread will make an or elsewhere for the aren't necessarily kosher. drink as much as would fill an eggshell of the unhealthy stomach. purpose of enabling it to juice of the herb called wild clary, and you will A good portion of kosher food regulations, and be consumed at a not fall into an evil temper. The qualities of water: it will produce no temperature above the perhaps the laws that are some of the most well sickness, no debt, and no widowhood. To preserve chastity ambient air temperature known among non-Jews, has to do with It is no insult to deprive an old man of his and, at the time of particular animals that cannot be consumed — If you should always be chaste, eat daily some pig probably being the most well known. of the herb called hart's tongue, and you will supper. supply, is above that never assent to suggestions of impurity. temperature, or According to the Torah, cloven hoofed, cud- An eel in a pie, lampreys in salt.

(b) after it is supplied, may chewing mammals can be kosher. Cows, deer, A strange diagnostic of pregnancy An ague of fever at the fall of the leaf is always be heated on the sheep and goats, for example, may be kosher, Whosoever would know whether a woman be of long continuance, or else fatal. premises for the purpose while pigs and rabbits, for example, never are. with boy or girl, let him observe her sitting and Only certain birds may be considered kosher - standing, and if she moves her right foot first it A kid a month old - a lamb three months. of enabling it to be consumed at a chicken, duck, goose, and turkey. signifies a son, but if the left, a daughter. Supper will kill more than were ever cured by

temperature above the For seafood or fish to be kosher, it must have A strange diagnostic of virginity the Physicians of Myddfai.

ambient air fins and easily removable scales, like tuna, carp If you distinguish between a wife and a virgin, temperature." A light dinner, a less supper, sound sleep, long and herring. Shellfish generally, and lobsters, scrape some jet into water and give it to her to life. shrimp and clams specifically, are not kosher. drink. If she be a wife, she will without fail pass water, but if a virgin she will not have a more Do not wish for milk after fish. oole Lighting Limited: Instructions: P urgent call than usual. To sleep much is the health of youth, the

The switched main live is generally a single To silence a cock sickness of old age. black wire and this is connected to the brown UK CITIES STARTING WITH S If you should wish a cock should not crow, It is more wholesome to smell warm bread than wire(s) on the fitting. On a wall light this should anoint his crest with oil and he will be mute. to eat it. be a single red wire. The neutral is generally Salford / Salisbury / Sheffield / Southampton / To expel reptiles in the stomach two black wires and these are connected to the St Albans / St Davids / Stirling / Stoke on Trent / A short sickness for the body, and short frost for If a snake should enter a person's mouth, or blue wire(s). On a wall light this should be a Sunderland / Swansea the earth, will heal; either of them long will there should be any other living reptiles in him, single black wire. The mains earth wire(s) must destroy. let him take wild chamomile (in powder) in wine, be connected to all green/yellow wire(s) or till it is thickened, drink the same and it will Whilst the urine is clear, let the physician beg. earth terminal on the fitting. When completed ensure that there are no bare or loose strands relieve him of them. Better is appetite than gluttony. of wire exposed, and cover all exposed areas of NEWS OF THE WEIRD A way in which a thing may be seen, which is invisible to others The bread of yesterday, the meat of today, and terminal blocks with insulation tape. the wine of last year will produce health. Take the gall of a cat, and a hen's fat, mixing The Czech Republic approved Lukas Novy's them together. Put this in your eyes, and you Three men that are long lived, the ploughman official government ID photo even though he will see things which are invisible to others. on dry land, a mountain dairyman and a Not only am I redundant & was wearing a kitchen colander on his head. fisherman at the sea.

superfluous, but I also tend to use Novy had successfully explained that his When choosing between two evils, I The three feasts of health: milk, bread and salt. more words than necessary. religion required it since he is a "Pastafarian" - a member of the Church of the Flying Spaghetti always like to try the one I've never God will send food to washed hands.

Monster. tried before. (Source: The Book of Iago ap Dewi)

PWLL ATHLETIC F.C. TECHNICAL THE MACHINE A WOMAN'S POEM SUPPORT INSIDE YOU

Pwll AFC held they're Your heart beats 101,000 He didn't like my casserole 2013/2014 annual dinner presentation at EJ's Customer: Hi, this is times a day. During your And he didn't like my cake. cafe bar & restaurant this year. A total of 83 Celine. I can’t get my lifetime it will beat about 3 He said my biscuits were too hard... diskette out. billion times and pump Not like his mother used to make. people attended. It was a great evening and about 800 million pints (378 Pwll AFC would like to thank their sponsors - Tech support: Have you I didn't perk the coffee right million litres) of blood. A S&S Autos, Celtic School of Motoring, A&P tried pushing the Button? He didn't like the stew, Potatoes, Martin Ward and Flares Accessories normal heart beats 70 to 80 I didn't mend his socks for attending. Pwll AFC would like to say a big Customer: Yes, sure, it’s really stuck. times a minute. Over 70 to 80 years, it gives a The way his mother used to do. thank you to Stewart Moore of Stewart Moore few billion beats. It is the powerful machine I pondered for an answer Builders as well. inside you.

Tech support: That doesn’t sound good; I’ll I was looking for a clue. Trophies were awarded to: make a note. A heart consists of two pumps, each made of Then I turned around and smacked him, two chambers. The right atrium squirts oxygen- Just like his mother used to do. Gavin Evans - Top Goal scorer. Customer: No, wait a minute… I hadn’t inserted depleted blood from the body into the right Mike Morgan – Hat trick. it yet… it’s still on my desk… sorry…. ventricle, which pumps it to the lungs. The left Gavin Evans - 2 Hat tricks. atrium squirts aerated blood from the lungs into A modern pioneer is a woman who Lee burns - 3 Hat tricks. the left ventricle, which pumps it out to the Dean Thomas - 4 Hat tricks. Tech support: Click on the ‘my computer’ icon body. With each heartbeat, the two small atria can get through a rainy Saturday Young player of the year - Rhys Harris. on to the left of the screen. contract together, then the two large ventricles, with the television on the blink. 2'nd team players player of the year - Wayne Customer: Your left or my left? making the beating sound. Francis.

2'nd team player of the year - Stuart Jones. A typical athlete’s heart churns out 6 to 8 gallons (25 to 30 litres) of blood per minute. In Tech support: “Your password is the small 1'st team players player of the year - Marcus comparison, the best man-made heart can NEWS OF THE WEIRD James. letter ‘a’ as in apple, a capital letter ‘V’ as in pump about 2.6 gallons (10 litres) per minute 1'st team player of the year - Marcus James. Victor, followed by the number 7.” and lasts for about 200 million beats – or about Clubman of the year - Ryan Davies. Customer: “Is that 7 in capital letters?” 5 years. uthorities in the United Arab Emirates Thank you all for attending and making it a great A heart is difficult to imitate because it is a soft, A night. wet, contractile muscle – unlike any technology arrested a couple on a flight from Egypt when ustomer: “I can’t get on the Internet.” C developed thus far. A man-made heart is a an X-ray machine revealed they were Tech support: “Are you sure you used the right battery-powered motor that either drives a smuggling their 1-year-old baby in a carry-on password?” piston, or drives a fan blade that sits immersed bag. Officials said the baby boy did not have a LEFT HAND DRIVING Customer: “Yes, I’m sure. I saw my colleague in a hydraulic fluid, moving a rotary valve. A visa, passport or any other official documents COUNTRIES allowing him to travel to the UAE. do it.” good man-made heart, it seems, is hard to find.

Anguilla, Antigua and Barbuda, Tech support: “Can you tell me what the "When customs officials saw the baby inside Australia, Bahamas, Bangladesh, password was?” the bag at the X-ray scanner, they were Barbados, Bermuda, Bhutan, Bophuthatswana, stunned," a police official said. "This machine is Customer: “Five stars.” Botswana, British Virgin Islands, Brunei, Your conscience may not keep you from very dangerous for anyone, let alone a baby in a bag to pass through. A case will now be Cayman Islands, Channel Islands, Ciskei, doing wrong, but it certainly keeps you Cyprus, Dominica, Falkland Islands, Fiji, raised against the mother and father, they both Tech support: “What anti-virus program do you from enjoying it. Grenada, Guyana, Hong Kong, India, have visas to come to the UAE, but they have use?” put the life of their child at risk." Indonesia, Ireland, Jamaica, Japan, Kenya, Lesotho, Macau, Malawi, Malaysia, Malta, Customer: “Firefox.”

Mauritius, Montserrat, Mozambique, Namibia, Tech support: “That’s not an anti-virus Nepal, New Zealand, Pakistan, Papua, New program.” A woman visiting a Kentucky Walmart found Guinea, St. Vincent and Grenadines, WHERE’S THE GLUE? Customer: “Oh, sorry… Internet Explorer.” herself in a sticky situation. Seychelles, Sikkim, Singapore, Solomon Islands, Somalia, South Africa, Sri Lanka, St How come when you mix water and flour The woman went to use the store's bathroom Kitts and Nevis, St. Helena, St. Lucia, Surinam, together you get glue...and then you add eggs when she realised she was stuck to the toilet Swaziland, Tanzania, Thailand, Tonga, Trinidad Customer: “I have a huge problem. A friend and sugar...and you get cake? seat. It was later discovered the seat was and Tobago, Uganda, United Kingdom, US has placed a screen saver on my computer, but covered in Super Glue. The woman was stuck Where did the glue go? Virgin Islands, Venda, Zambia, Zimbabwe. every time I move the mouse, it disappears”. inside the restroom for nearly an hour.

CAPEL LIBANUS Ni fydd Ysgol Sul dros yr haf ond byddwn yn BÔNAU 2014 MIDSUMMER RAFFLE MEET THE TEAM PROTECTING YOU fed CHAPEL ailgychwyn ar 7 o Fedi pryd y bydd y plant yn RESULTS dechrau paratoi ar gyfer ein hoedfa Cynhelir oedfaon bob ddiolchgarwch. Dewch â’ch plant i’r Ysgol Sul Ticket No Prize No Prize: PC Michelle Fuge joined the Police Force in bore Sul am ddeg o’r gloch er mwyn iddynt gael y cyfle amhrisiadwy o 4180 1 £30 ASDA Voucher April 2002 as a PC. She has always worked in gydag Ysgol Sul i’r plant. gymryd rhan yn yr oedfa hon. 3829 2 £30 Tesco Voucher Llanelli covering Felinfoel, Llwynhendy and

Bydd trefniadau mis Awst fel a ganlyn: Bellach, mae Barbara Marshall wedi 2483 3 £30 Morrison’s Voucher Llanelli main station. She has been in 1702 4 £30 Lakeland Voucher neighbourhood 3 Awst dim oedfa ond oedfa ym penderfynu rhoi’r gorau i’w swydd fel 2829 5 Bottle Whisky policing for six mhabell yr Eisteddfod ysgrifenyddes Libanus. Mae ei dyletswyddau wedi eu rhannu’n bennaf rhwng y diaconiaid 2059 6 Bottle Whisky years. In that time Genedlaethol - pawb yn eu she has covered seddau erbyn naw o’r gloch newydd. Gweithiodd Barbara yn ddiflino yn y 4236 7 £10 M & S Voucher swydd ac mae’n dyled yn fawr iawn iddi. 2578 8 £10 M & S Voucher Bigyn, Elli/Lliedi 10 Awst Sul yr Aelodau and Hengoed. PC 17 Awst Oedfa Gymun Dymunwn ymddeoliad hir a hapus iawn i chi 1705 9 Sports Massage Barbara ond gwyddom y byddwn yn parhau i 0021 10 Ladies Cut & Blow Dry Michelle Fuge 24 Awst Sul yr Aelodau currently covers the bwyso’n drwm arnoch am eich cyngor a’ch 3046 11 2 litre Demijon Cider 31 Awst dim oedfa yn Libanus Hengoed and cymorth. 2621 12 2 litre Demijon Cider Bu mis Mehefin eleni yn fis pwysig iawn i Elli/Lliedi areas of 0212 13 ½ Bottle Whjisky aelodau Libanus. Ar 8 fed o Fehefin, cafodd Llanelli. 2918 14 Bottle Wine Deryth Davies, Linda Sidgwick, Cathryn CYMORTH CHRISTNOGOL / 4514 15 Bottle Wine Clement a Bethan Clement eu derbyn yn CHRISTIAN AID ddiaconiaid newydd i’r Eglwys. Yna, ar 25 ain o 1092 16 Bottle Wine PCSO Dan Brown joined Dyfed Powys Police Fehefin roedd ein haelod hynaf, sef Mrs Not much news over the summer but we are 1828 17 Bottle Wine in April 2006, where he started in the Force Nathalie Lewis yn dathlu ei phen-blwydd yn 99 very pleased to announce that a cheque for 2035 18 Bottle Wine Communication oed. £1,200.00 has been sent to Christian Aid from 0205 19 Bottle Wine Centre at Police the Village. The money comes from the United 2957 20 Wood Turning Headquarters as a Ar ddydd Sul y 6ed o Orffennaf, cynhaliwyd Carol Service, the United Service at the 0259 21 Wine Rack call handler - taking gwasanaeth plant arbennig i ddathlu ei phen- beginning of Christian Aid Week and the Stall at 2422 22 Hand Knitted Lap Warmer 999 emergency calls blwydd. Cafwyd peth o hanes bywyd diddorol the W.I. Fayre in May. Thank you for supporting 2543 23 Large Cuddly Toy and 101 non- Nathalie gan y plant ac yna traddodwyd all three events. The next occasion will be the 1504 24 Photograph Album emergency calls. He anerchiad i’r plant gan Cathryn Clement yn first Sunday in December when this year's also joined as a seiliedig ar hoff flodyn Nathalie, sef blodyn y 3838 25 Ladies Toiletries Carol Service will be held at Holy Trinity Church Special Constable in dioddefaint ( Passiflora ). Tynnwyd sylw at 4197 26 Ladies Toiletries at 10.30am on Sunday, 7 th December. Look October 2006 serving arwyddocâd pob rhan o’r blodyn anhygoel hwn i 2855 27 Small Cuddly Toy forward to seeing you then and thank you once in Ammanford police ddioddefaint Iesu ar y Groes. Gorffennwyd yr 1790 28 Mystery Prize again. If you would like to help or need further station. Dan took up the post of PCSO in oedfa drwy gyd-ganu hoff emyn Nathalie - ‘Wel 3276 29 Explorers Kit information on the work of Christian Aid the October 2008 covering the Llandysul area of dyma hyfryd fan, i droi at Dduw’. Yn dilyn y 2376 30 Game & Puzzle Book contact numbers are 01554 772441 or 01554 Ceredigion. He transferred in October 2009 to gwasanaeth cafwyd parti i’r plant a chwpanaid o 758023 Llanelli where he now covers the Hengoed de a chacen i’r oedolion. Diolch i Nathalie am y nfortunately, the “Data Protection Act” ward which includes the areas of Sandy, parti ac i Barbara am y gacen pen-blwydd U prevents us from detailing the winner’s names, Furnace and Pwll. hyfryd. ROMANIAN AID FOUNDATION addresses or telephone numbers but please be assured that all winners have received their PCSO Robert (SOUTH WALES) prizes. Kindred is originally The last lorry left at the end of July and we We would like to thank the following: from Derbyshire and were able to include shoes, clothing, bedding - The very kind people who donated the prizes. moved to and toys which will be put to very good use in We had a terrific response from you all and Carmarthenshire in the region of Dorohoi which supports 1500 because of the response managed to have a 2000. Robert had needy families. Although we have not arranged draw with a total of 29 prizes! worked numerous a specific date for the collection of goods, we jobs in customer will accept these at any time – please ring one - All the people who helped us sell the tickets. service before joining of the numbers below. A sincere thank you for Without your help and determination we would Dyfed-Powys in 2012. remembering us. not have made as much money as we did. Robert says “I enjoy working within a customer focused environment as it allows me to carry Please contact us on 01554 810640, 01554 - All the very kind hearted people who bought out my desire to help people. Being a PCSO 758023 or 10554 759771. the raffle tickets. The draw made £930.00 - Nathalie a phlant yr Ysgol Sul enough to cover the cost of one edition of the allows me to work closely with my community Thank you. magazine. where I can truly make a difference." After all, whatever we decide to buy, we presumably intend to devote some of our time to use and to maintain in some shape or form. So it would seem that the more possessions we LLANELLY OF YESTERYEAR own, the more we are owned by those very possessions.

HOLY TRINITY CHURCH Clearly society’s current perspective is a far different one from that which Jesus taught. In the Gospels we learn of Jesus urging his As I start to write my listeners and us, not to store up treasures for piece for the Bônau ourselves on earth, where moths and rust Cabbage Patch magazine for this coming destroy and where thieves break in and steal, autumn, I am mindful of the fact that the re- but to store up treasures in heaven, because ordering programme that I have spoken of in where our hearts are there will we be also. And the last two editions of the magazine has still that we are not to worry about our physical not come to a completion, and that although the wellbeing, indeed to look at God’s creation majority of the building work has been about us, and to see how the birds of the air are completed, we are still awaiting a final approval fed, and how the flowers of the fields are so from Welsh Water, before we can connect the beautiful, and that since they, as part of his new facilities to the mains sewerage. However I creation are cared for, then how much more so remain optimistic that by the time that you read will we be, by our heavenly Father. But Jesus’ this that all will be completed. command is not just an instruction for us to not

care about anything, blindly believing that The whole process of planning and building and everything will turn out all right in the end, it is the frustrations experienced over delays that not an instruction for us not use our God given inevitably occur, are of course a reminder to us brains, to care and provide for ourselves and of the pace of life which we experience in our others, after all, Jesus actually urges us to western world today. Everything is expected to consider, to think about the birds, who certainly happen instantly, gone are the days of our demonstrate a lifestyle of building a home and ancestors, who would commence building a of caring for their offspring.

large church or cathedral, full well knowing that they would not see its completion in their own We need to understand that the command for lifetime. Just indeed as our desire for instant us not to worry is because we are created in gratification has emerged, so too has our God’s own image, and since God is Spirit, we seemingly insatiable desire for consumerism. too are more than mere physical beings. We Gone are the days of buying an item which one need to avoid falling into the trap of materialism would hope to keep for a lifetime, now we are which simply puts human life on a par with all urged to throw it away in favour of the latest other animal life. Life is intended to be far more model, even if it does still work perfectly well. I than just a physical existence through food, was amazed to see on a recent television clothes and possessions. So when Jesus says programme, people camping out overnight ‘Do not worry about your life, what you will eat outside the Apple store in America in order that or drink; or about your body, what you will they might purchase the very latest i phone, the wear.’ He follows it immediately with the minute it was launched. Even more incredible question, ‘Is not life more than food, and the was the fact that many of those interviewed did body more than clothes? He raises a question not really know what advantage the latest which he then proceeds to answer by telling us phone had over the previous model, they just to ‘seek first our Father’s kingdom and his needed to possess it. It seems that we now live righteousness, and all these things will be given in a society which is controlled by consumerism to you as well’. The priority for life in all its and an insatiable desire for material fullness, as our creator intended it to be for us possessions. But perhaps it is worth is to seek Him first, to know Him. And it is considering whether it is we who have control through his Son, Jesus Christ that we have over our possessions or whether in fact those access to our Father, just as we find in the possessions end up, in a sense, controlling us. beginning of John’s Gospel where we read that (1: 12-13) ‘to those who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God – see Appendix.) The local industries are chiefly PWLL W.I. So don't let anybody fool you that the W.I. is children born not of natural descent, nor of connected with the working of copper, silver, just 'Jam and Jerusalem'. If you want to find out human decision or a husband’s will, but born of lead, iron, and tin; while there are also Our President, Eve more come along and see for yourself what is God. extensive potteries, chemical works, brick and Lake, welcomed on offer. We meet every 2nd and 4th

tile works, saw mills, flour mills, maltings, and members to the first Wednesday from September to July in Pwll So the next time you are tempted to go out and breweries. The port is a convenient outlet for meeting after the Community Centre from 7- 9 pm. buy the latest this or that, I would urge you to the produce of the South Wales coal fields. Summer break. We consider just how important whatever it is really Llanelly forms one of the Carmarthen District of talked about the Everyone welcome is to your life. Parliamentary Boroughs (Carmarthen and milestone events which Croeso cynnes i bawb

Llanelly), which returns 1 member. took place over the Yours in Christ, Summer. Sir Gar

Carmarthenshire Federation of Women's I love being married. It's so great Institutes was represented in the National Michael to find that one special person you WORLD CUP FACTS Eisteddfod in Llanelli and also W.I. members from all over Carmarthenshire celebrated the want to annoy for the rest of your Priest in Charge of the Parish of Burry Port W.I. Centenary Baton Handover events in life. and Pwll. different venues.

July was very busy month in the W.I. calendar.

Almost 100 members from the Illtud group Total Host Winning enjoyed a meal at the Masala Restaurant in Year Goals Nation Nation Llanelli. This was a successful fundraising DID YOU KNOW OLD LLANELLI event to raise money for the S.G.C.F.W.I. to attend the National Eisteddfod in Llanelli in 1930 70 Uruguay Uruguay August. In the W.I. marquee different Liechtenstein is the 1934 70 Italy Italy demonstrations took place - rag rugging, sugar world’s leading craft, encaustic art, silk painting, jewellery, exporter of false teeth. 1938 84 France Italy pewter and flower arranging. All the W.I. lthough the word "earthling" today conjures 1950 88 Brazil Uruguay groups were represented with their individual A banners and photographic displays. visions of science-fiction stories, it is actually West 1954 140 Switzerland the Old English word for a farmer. Germany Members enjoyed a meal in the Cornish Arms 1958 126 Sweden Brazil Burry Port on the last meeting before the Goosebumps are actually caused by a Summer break. They also attended the different muscle. It is called the arrector pili muscle. 1962 89 Chile Brazil venues in Laugharne, Carmarthen and (Extract from Gazetteer of the British Isles by John Llangennech to celebrate the Centenary Baton In the 1920s, several groups lobbied for a Bartholomew - 1887) 1966 89 England England Handover. In Llangennech members had a calendar with 13 months, each with four weeks. 1970 95 Mexico Brazil cheese ploughman's followed by entertainment The new month would have come between West West with the Loughor town band, a sketch by Bryn June and July. And to reach 365 days, the plan Llanelly.-- parl. bor., seaport, market town, and 1974 97 Germany Germany W.I. and poetry readings by Wilma Morris. One was to add "January 0." par., Carmarthenshire, on river Lliedi and on of our members Eve Lake performed an 1978 102 Argentina Argentina Burry Inlet, 11 miles NW. of Swansea and 225 amusing monologue. Well done! The baton was The Earth's North and South Poles flip polarity miles NW. of London by rail - par., 17,952 ac. 1982 146 Spain Italy displayed at the National Eisteddfod from 2nd - on a semi-frequent basis, having done so more (98 water) and 2413 tidal water and foreshore, 4th August before travelling to Llandovery and then 20 times in the past 5 million years. That 1986 132 Mexico Argentina pop. 27,779; bor., 2163 ac., pop. 20,122; town, onward to Powys Radnor. means that with the next flip, all compasses will pop. 19,760; 3 Banks, 3 newspapers. Market- West 1990 115 Italy be pointing South rather then North. days, Thursday and Saturday. This town has Germany In September there will be the return of the popular 'Go Green' event. There will be lots of gained great commercial importance through 1994 141 USA Brazil he number 4 is the only number with the informative ideas on cooking, interactive T the rich mineral resources of the same number of letters as the meaning of its 1998 171 France France discussions on gardening and money saving neighbourhood, and also through its name. convenience for maritime traffic. ideas. The County organise many different 2002 161 Japan Brazil events throughout the year which include walks, Four excellent docks have been erected for the 2006 147 Germany Italy indoor bowls, tenpin bowling, kayaking, accommodation of shipping - the Llanelly or canoeing, quizzes, book club and also visits to I have my doubts about disbelief. New Dock, the Copper Works Dock, the Lead 2010 145 South Africa Spain the Abergavenny Food Festival and Denman Works or Pemberton Dock, and the College just to mention a few! Carmarthenshire Dock. (For shipping statistics, 2014 171 Brazil Germany RECOLLECTION OF PWLL c1949 Looking back, it does not seem that long ago, REMEMBRANCE PWLL ROLL OF HONOUR how the years go by and how different village SUNDAY Reading Sheila Thomas’ life is now from those days, Pwll was such a – 9 th November article in the last edition of close community. We had our school concerts the Bônau, reminded me of in the former Community Centre, it was always Remembrance Sunday the times I had a ride home packed as it was for all the social events held is the day traditionally put from school at lunch time on Mr Jones, there. It is nice to look back but we must move aside to remember all Penywch’s milk cart. The pony’s name was forward with the times and accept the changes those who have given Polly (Polly Jones I called her) she was a lovely in our community and life. their lives for the peace and freedom we enjoy pony. We used to sit among the milk churns, (Article by Elaine Unsted) today. On this day, people across the nation with Mr Jones or Lucy, his daughter on the pause to reflect on the sacrifices made by our reins. (What would health & safety say today?) brave Service men and women.

I lived at Bryngobaith, next to the church where The National Service of Remembrance at the my grandmother had a grocers shop – “Siop Cenotaph in Whitehall is a unique expression of Hiorns”. That also brings back memories, I national homage devoted to the remembrance used to sometimes “help” in the shop, I of those who have given their lives in war. It remember scooping loose dried peas from a was originally conceived as a commemoration large sack, weighing them and pouring them of the war dead of the First World War but after into a brown paper bag, cutting big slabs of the Second World War the scope of the butter and lard to weigh on squares of ceremony was extended to focus on the greaseproof paper, fresh yeast sold by the nation's dead of both World Wars, and in 1980 ounce in the little triangular sweet bags and it was widened once again to extend the glass jars of sweets lining the shelves. CAPEL BETHLEHEM CHAPEL remembrance to all who have suffered and died The bread was delivered to the shop daily by in conflict in the service of their country and all two brothers - Jim and Gwynfor of Rees the Pan dderbyniwch y rhifyn nesa o Fonau those who mourn them. Cabbage, fydd bwrlwm yr Haf tu cefn i ni, a Bakers, sweets were delivered by Beatons and The service at the Cenotaph is framed to Williams the sweet shop Market Street. General gweithgareddau yr Hydref yn nesau. (Above: Harold Williams commemorating Remembrance ensure that no-one is forgotten. The wreath laid Sunday) groceries came from Thomas Jones and James Mae wedi bod yn haf o gynnwrf gyda by The Queen and the other tributes placed on & Williams. Eisteddfod yr Urdd, Wimbledon, Llangollen, the Cenotaph are dedicated to all who have I sometimes used to get one Llanelwedd, Seiclo, ac i gloi y cwbl Eisteddfod suffered or died in war. Members of the 1914 – 1918 World War I penny for carrying a packet Genedlaethol Sir Gaerfyrddin. Cabinet, Opposition Party leaders, former of Corn Flakes over to her Prime Ministers and certain other Ministers and Nid oes yr un cyffro wedi bod yn ein capel. Y A E Bullock, Ben Davies, D W Davies, William house for Miss Thomas the Mayor of London are invited to attend the gwasanaethau yn mynd ymlaen o Sul i Sul, a'r Evans, W T Griffiths, T Harries, Alfred Horne, (sister to Mr Griff Thomas, ceremony, along with representatives of the gynulleidfa yn lleihau wrth golli aelodau Evan Jenkin, Jack Knill, Gwilym Lewis, Isaac head of the Boys Grammar Armed Forces, Merchant Air and Navy and ffyddlon. Lewis, Reginald S Lewis, Bob Lloyd, John School) on the other side of Fishing Fleets, and members of faith Owen, Ismael Peregrine, C James Saunders, J the church and similarly to Llongyfarchiadau i'r rhai sydd wedi dathlu eu communities. High Commissioners from Thomas, William Thomas. naw deg penblwydd eleni, ac i'r rhai sy' n dathlu Commonwealth countries also attend the Mrs Evans on my way to school, she lived opposite the school. yn y misoedd nesa. ceremony. 1939 – 1945 World War II Bydd gwasanaethau Cynhaeaf a'r Nadolig yn If my grandmother locked the shop and was in cael eu cynnal yn tymor y gaeaf, Bydd manylion the house Tom the Cobbler, Marged Penllech yn hwyrach yn y flwyddyn. Gobeithio cael eich PRAYER Hugh Bonnell, Melville Charles, Elfed Daniels, and Cyril Penllech would call her from over the cwmni ar y Suliau hynny. Harry J Davies, Tudor Elli Gay, Conrad garden hedge. Cigarettes were in short supply “Let us commemorate Hughes, Heber Jenkins, Gwyn Jones, John R in those days and Cyril kept a keen eye on Gan ddymuno pob bendith a iechyd i chi gyd. and commend to the Jones, Ken Williams, Alec Williamson, W when they were delivered to the shop, he used loving mercy of our Heavenly Father, the Williamson. to shout over the garden hedge “A ydy,r’ fags Shepherd of Souls, the Giver of Life wedi dod Lizabeth?” Everlasting, those who have died in the service

Shoe repairs were done by of our country and its cause.” There are special people in our Tom the Cobbler who had his You cannot accurately determine the lives who never leave us .... even workshop near the present pet depth of a puddle until you step in We must not forget! after they are gone. shop. He did a wonderful job it. despite the fact that he was Ensure that the sacrifices made in conflict blind. are never forgotton.

DUMBEST DEATHS IN SPICEY TIPS PWLL CRICKET CLUB th Giant flying foxes, which are a type of bat, that HISTORY (updated to 26 July) live in Indonesia have wingspans of nearly six

feet.

Grind black peppercorns over sliced strawberries. ATTILA THE HUN: One of the LETTER TO THE most notorious villains in history, Attila's army This surprising combination Division Three - First XI - Fixtures had conquered all of Asia by 450 AD-from brings out the best in both ingredients and P Pts EDITOR Mongolia to the edge of the Russian Empire-by creates a refreshing breakfast starter. Squeeze Drefach 12 217 destroying villages and pillaging the some orange juice over the fruit first for added Merthyr Tydfil 12 216 Cimla 12 193 countryside. bite. Pwll 12 181 Dear Stuart, How he died: He got a nosebleed on his Pontyberem 12 151 Sesame seeds are a rich source of vitamins wedding night. In 453 AD, Attila married a Britton Ferry Town 12 146 Many thanks for the spring edition of Bônau and minerals. Toast them lightly and sprinkle young girl named Ildico. Despite his reputation Morriston 12 116 Cabbage, greatly enjoyed as always. I over salads and cooked vegetables. They go for ferocity on the battlefield, he tended to eat Margam 12 100 especially enjoyed Anne’s article and nice to extremely well with a mix of thinly sliced carrots and drink lightly during large banquets. On his Baglan 12 98 see a photo of Lady Howard Stepney. I and courgettes that have been sautéed in wedding night, however, he really cut loose, Pontardawe 12 65 remember seeing her around Pwll when I spent gorging himself on food and drink. Sometime sesame oil. summer holidays in Pwll – 70 plus years ago!! during the night he suffered a nosebleed, but was too drunk to notice. He drowned in his own Treasure your supply of turmeric. Mix Hope donations for the raffle are going well and Division Three – Second XI - Fixtures this year I have remembered in time to blood and was found dead the next morning. powdered turmeric into a paste with lime juice P Pts to anoint skin ulcers and other sores. contribute a prize. Drefach 12 179 Best wishes T YCHO BRAHE: An important Morriston 12 178 This recipe was popular in Victorian times. Cimla 12 159 ME Danish astronomer of the 16th Bake four large beetroot very gently for 2 to 3 Baglan 12 150 century. His ground-breaking hours. Cool, peel and slice thinly. Then sprinkle Merthyr Tydfil 12 134 research allowed Sir Isaac Newton them with sugar, salt and 2 teaspoons of Margam 12 115 LEGEND OF THE to come up with the theory of ground cardamom seed. Moisten with Pwll 12 93 gravity. MOONRAKERS vinaigrette and serve well chilled. Britton Ferry Town 12 92 How he died: Didn't get to the bathroom in time. Pontyberem 12 89 The legend of the Wiltshire In the 16th century, it was considered an insult This is a great spicy onion chutney that goes Pontardawe 12 55 moonrakers is well known, but to leave a banquet table before the meal was with almost any kind of meat course in Indian while the outline of the story is over. Brahe, known to drink excessively, had a cooking. Slice an onion into wafer thin rings and well documented, filling in the bladder condition-but failed to relieve himself toss in a bowl with salt, the juice of half a BATS details largely depends on which before the banquet started. He made matters lemon, a big pinch of hot paprika and a pinch of book you read. worse by drinking too much at dinner, and was cayenne pepper. Leave for 30 minutes. The story is simple, though, and its message too polite to ask to be excused. His bladder Bats emit ultrasonic clear. finally burst, killing him slowly and painfully over the next 11 days. sounds to communicate A pair of Wiltshire men, engaged in smuggling with each other. brandy, hide a barrel of the contraband from the Frog-eating bats identify edible frogs from excise men in a nearby pond and when they HORACE WELLS: Pioneered the THE MOUSE ON THE BARROOM poisonous ones by listening to the mating calls return at some later time, in the dark, they are use of anaesthesia in the 1840’s. of male frogs. Frogs counter this by hiding and caught in the act of raking the barrel back to FLOOR How he died: Used anaesthetics using short, difficult to locate calls. land. ome Guinness was spilt on the barroom to commit suicide. While S African heart-nosed bats can have such a keen They immediately claim that they are trying to experimenting with various gases during his floor, sense of sound that they can hear the footsteps rake cheese - the reflection of the moon - from anaesthesia research, Wells became addicted When the pub was shut for the night. of a beetle walking on sand from six feet away. the pond and the excise men, amused by the to chloroform. In 1848 he was arrested for Out of his hole crept a wee brown mouse, apparently simple-minded rustics, leave them to And stood in the pale moonlight. Bats always turn left when exiting a cave. spraying two women with sulphuric acid. In a it. letter he wrote from jail, he blamed chloroform Bats sleep during the day and feed at night. The moral of the story is that, despite their for his problems, claiming that he'd gotten high He lapped up the frothy brew from the floor, The place that bats sleep in is called the earthy accents, Wiltshire folk are not as slow- before the attack. Four days later he was found Then back on his haunches he sat. "roost." witted as some would believe and, to this day, dead in his cell. He'd anaesthetised himself with And all the night you could hear him roar, chloroform and slashed open his thigh with a "Bring on the goddamn cat!" Vampire bat saliva has been responsible for people born in the county are proud to call razor. many advances in research into stroke themselves moonrakers. recovery. DAI AND THE FROG 4 A woman in her late 20s from Bristol claimed UP the vibration function on her BlackBerry Bold DAI AND HIS Dai walks into The 9900 phone had stopped working whilst she In the corner CLONE Colliers' Arms and asks the was using it as an adult toy. between Northwest ai was very, landlord if he'll give him a 5 A 40-year-old construction worker said his 46th Street and 15th D free beer for an amazing trick. The landlord iPhone 4S had fallen out of his back pocket Avenue, in Ballard, very rich and agrees. Dai pulls out a hamster that begins when he pulled his jeans down before sitting on Seattle, wedged deciding that he dancing and singing. the toilet. Not realising, he went about his between a shop and a fitness club, lies a little had everything he

business and flushed the chain. The phone cottage. wanted in life except a companion equal to "That is amazing!" says the landlord and gives himself. So Dai went to a bunch of scientists didn’t flush, but underwent serious water Surrounded by towering concrete walls on three him a beer. and paid them to make an exact clone of damage. sides, the hundred-year-old house belonged to himself. The scientists went to work and a few "If I show you something else, will you give me late Edith Macefield, a stubborn old woman, 6 A man in his 30s claimed he’d been filming days later came back with a clone of rich Dai. another beer?" The landlord agrees. who famously turned down $1 million in 2006 monkeys from the car window in Longleat The clone was a perfect copy in every way refusing to sell her home to make way for a Dai pulls out a small piano and a frog. The Safari Park with his HTC One X when a except for one fault, he couldn't stop swearing. commercial complex. In doing so, she became same hamster plays the piano while the frog monkey climbed on the roof and snatched it. dances and sings. something of a folk hero cheered by Ballard After a while Dai could take the swearing no 7 A couple re-enacting the "I'm King of the residents who were tired of watching the blue- longer and took the clone to the top of the Multi The landlord, completely amazed, gives him World!" scene from Titanic lost their phone over collar neighbourhood disappear under Storey Car Park in Llanelli. He looked around to another beer. the side of their cruise ship, whilst trying to take condominiums and trendy restaurants. make sure the coast was clear before pushing A customer, who's been watching the entire a photo of themselves. the clone over the edge. The publicity surrounding her case was so time, offers to buy the frog for a large sum, and 8 A pyrotechnician was setting up a show for widespread that it forced the Just as he did a policeman stepped out from Dai agrees. the National Fireworks Championships in developers to build the five- the shadows and arrested him. " What are you "Are you nuts?" asks the landlord. "You could Plymouth and, after leaving his iPhone 3GS storey building around her 108- arresting me for?" asked Dai. "For making have made a fortune out of that frog." within the "blast zone", it was nowhere to be year-old farmhouse. In 2009, abusive clone falls" said the policeman. found when he returned post-show - having Macefield’s iconic house "Can you keep a secret?" asks Dai. "The been fired 3,000ft into the air before exploding became inspiration for the 2009 hamster's a ventriloquist." in a stunning display. Pixar movie Up . "We know what happens to people (Source: Amusing Planet) 9 A lady in her 20s from Liverpool admitted who stay in the middle of the road. she’d thrown her HTC Desire X at her They get run down." boyfriend, whom she’d discovered was - (Aneurin Bevan) cheating, but it missed him and hit a wall, MOBILE PHONE breaking the handset. INSURANCE CLAIMS WRIGLEY’S 10 Rather than paying £60 for a ticket to see

The top 10 claims in full: Blur at their sell-out Hyde Park shows, one NEWS OF THE WEIRD customer tried to film the event on his iPhone Although it has its 1 A farmer in Devon claimed from up a nearby tree - he got a little too excited origins in the USA, The Wrigley Company (a as the band came on stage, and dropped his subsidiary of Mars Inc.) has a long and proud In December, a 38-year-old man, apparently his phone had disappeared UK history and considers itself just as much a fed up with his girlfriend’s demands that he inside the back end of one of phone on to the ground below. British company as an American one. continue accompanying her at a shopping mall his cows when he’d been in Xuzhou, China, threw himself off a seventh- Wrigley’s Spearmint gum was first launched in using the torch on his iPhone while assisting floor balcony, to his death. A witness reported the UK in 1911 and by 1925 business had the cow during calving. The phone later made the man yelling that the girlfriend already had reached such a level that it was decided to build an appearance, but was damaged. “more shoes than she could wear in a lifetime, a Wrigley factory in the UK itself. The first [that] it was pointless buying any more.” 2 A lady in her early 40s from Nottingham NEWS OF THE WEIRD factory opened in 1927 in Wembley, North Following increasingly-heated exchanges, the claimed she’d baked her Nokia 6303i into a London. Victoria Sponge she’d been making for her man dropped her shopping bags and leaped daughter’s birthday. It didn’t endure the heat of Police who were called to a home in Charleroi, In 1970 the factory and UK head office were over the railing. gas mark 5. USA, in February arrested Linda Newstrom, 49, relocated to Plymouth in the South West of for allegedly swinging a baseball bat at her 21- England. Today, almost 500 people are now 3 A lady in her 30s claimed she’d been walking year-old son, Jeffrey, because he had come employed in the UK and Ireland. her Cocker Spaniel on Barry Island beach, home drunk. (She missed on the first two With around 25% of chewing gum produced in Monday is an awful way to spend Wales, when a seagull swooped down and took swings but connected on the third.) Newstrom Plymouth exported overseas, the UK factory 1/7th of your life. her Samsung Galaxy from her hand. told police, "I brought him into this world, and I'll plays a key role in Wrigley’s business take him out of this world." development across Europe. IT’S JUST A JOB WHATS IN A PUB'S NAME

PWLL OF YESTERYEAR A list of names for jobs or veryone loves an “Olde professions that are no E longer common occupations. Worlde” pub with its oak Often these job titles are beams, horse brasses and incorporated into the root of roaring log fires. people's surnames and form a useful guide to Nevertheless, no matter how old the pub itself, help trace ancestry. the name on the sign outside is probably the most historic thing about the place.

Pitman Coal miner Porter Door keeper The idea of the pub sign came to Britain at the Ripper Seller of fish time of the Roman invasion. Wine bars in

Roper Maker of ropes or nets ancient Rome hung bunches of vine leaves

Saddler Maker, repairer or seller of outside as trading signs but when the Romans

saddles came here, they found precious few vines in the inhospitable climate. Instead, they hung up Sauntere Salt maker Scrivener Professional writer bushes to mark out the inns and the names The Bush or The Bull & Bush still survive today. Shrieve Sheriff Slater Roofer It would be centuries before the first Spittleman Hospital attendant recognisable pubs opened. Religious houses Tanner One who cures animal ran the earliest true inns to cater for pilgrims hides into leather and knights on their way to the Crusades in the

Tapley One who puts the tap in an Holy Land. Ye Olde Trip to Jerusalem, whose

ale cask cellars are carved from the rocks beneath

Tasker Reaper Nottingham Castle, is just such an example.

Thatcher Roofer Established in 1189, it claims the title of the

Tinker Travelling salesman oldest pub in England and was a stopover point

Travers Collector of bridge tolls for forces on their way to meet with Richard the

Tucker Cloth goods cleaner Lionheart. Other signs on this theme are the

Turner A person who turns wood Turk’s Head, Saracen’s Head and Lamb & Flag

on a lathe – the lamb representing Christ and the flag the

Wainwright Wagon maker sign of the crusaders.

Webster Weaver Wharfinger Owner of a wharf Even after the Dissolution of the Monasteries in Wheelwright Maker or repairer of the 16th Century, some of the names denoting wheels religious connections survived, such as the Whitesmith Tinsmith Mitre, the Ship (symbolising the Ark) and the Whitewing Street sweeper Anchor (the Christian faith). However, many of Wright Workman, especially a the landlords thought it more politic to show allegiance to the monarch and hastily adopted construction worker titles like the King’s Head or the Crown. Henry

Yeoman Farmer who owns his own VIII who ordered the Dissolution is,

land unsurprisingly, the most popularly depicted

monarch.

Anyone who caught the public imagination was likely to be immortalised such as Lord Nelson or

Marriage still confers one very special Wellington and even loveable rogues like Dick Turpin get a mention. privilege - only a married person can

Above: Moreb Farm get divorced. (Source: Britain Express © Elaine Saunders)

BILL FROST DID YOU KNOW SURNAMES pronounced. This lead to different spellings for the same name. Spelling continued to change (1948 - 1935) and evolve until the beginning of the 20th inety-five percent of owadays, a century when it became fixed - in large part due THE FIRST MAN TO N N all text messages are surname is a to the standardization required by the Social FLY? Security Administration in the United States. So delivered within ten hereditary fixed seconds. name that you share with your family members. as you are looking for your surname history, It is very plausible that a you may consider researching possible spelling The use of a surname was originally adopted in Welshman from Saunderfoot, Pembrokeshire variations. Don't assume your surname was On average, left handed people die 9 years order to distinguish two individuals with the beat the Wright Brothers in making the first man always spelled the way it is spelled today. sooner than their right-handed counterparts. same first name, and, at first, these last names made flight in a machine that was heavier than were not passed down to the next generation. air. In some quarters it is recognised that Bill ou have a twenty times more chance of Frost had beaten the Wright Brothers by Y In Europe, the first surnames were first used MOST POPULAR NAMES 2013 several years. being killed by a great white shark than you do about eight hundred years ago. People of winning the Euro Lottery. developed individual surnames which, over Girls Boys Frost was a local carpenter and use his skills time, became names that were passed down and knowledge to build a flying machine from Olivia 1 Oliver from generation to generation. Emily 2 Jack bamboo bound together, and covered by fabric. Surnames usually originated from one of the Sophia 3 Charlie What actually happened on a September day in DAI AND THE five following sources: (although the same Lily 4 Harry 1895 has been the subject of debate and JEWELLER surname may have multiple meanings from Isabella 5 Oscar conjecture. According to legend, there is no Dai walked into a different sources in different places) Isabelle 6 Thomas doubt the machine actually flew as it took off Amelia 7 Jacob jewellery store in Llanelli from the local landmark, Stammer Hill before it From the first name of father used with either Isla 8 Ethan hit a tree. one Friday evening with a a suffix or prefix (which differ from country to Sophie 9 Noah beautiful young girl at his country) to identify the person as "son of." This extract is taken from the actual Patent Ava 10 James side. He told the jeweller he Examples: O'Brian, McDonald, Fitzgerald, description ( in principle, to have resembled a was looking for a special Anderson, Gillette ('ette' - son of Giles), Jones, (Source: babycentre.co.uk) vertical takeoff craft):- ring for his new girlfriend. Olsen (son of Olaf) Perez (son of Pedro) "The flying machine is propelled into the air by The jeweller looked through From living near a place or landmark. two reversible fans revolving horizontally. When his stock and brought out a Examples: Hill, Kirk (near the church), Muir sufficient height is gained, wings are spread £5,000 ring. Dai said, ‘No, I’d like to see (near the moor), Stone (near a large stone). I don't suffer from insanity; I enjoy and tilted by means of a lever, causing the something more special.’ every minute of it. machine to float onward and downward. When From the person's occupation. Examples: low enough the lever is reversed causing it to At that statement, the jeweller went to his Fischer (fisherman), Smith (a person who rise upward & onward. When required to stop special stock and brought another ring hammers metal), Taylor (a tailor or clothing the wings are tilted so as to hold against the over… ‘Here’s a stunning ring at only maker), Wagner (a person who made wagons). ROCKALL wind or air and lowered by the reversible fans. £40,000' the jeweller said. From a distinguishing and sometimes The steering is done by a helm fitted to the front Rockall is a very The young lady’s eyes sparkled and her unflattering nickname describing the of machine." small, unremarkable whole body trembled with excitement. Dai person's looks or personality. Examples: In an interview he gave to the Western Mail in Barret (deceitful person), Peele (bald-headed), and uninhabited seeing this said, “We’ll take it...” rocky island located 1935, Frost told the story of his passion to be Power (poor), Reid (red-haired). The jeweller asked how payment would be around 480 km off the the first person to fly. The article quotes Frost From an ornamental or decorative word - a as claiming he did succeed in his mission. made Dai stated, “By cheque. I know you west coast of mainland Scotland. At just over need to make sure my cheque is good, so I’ll name that simply looks and sounds nice that 25 metres wide by 21 metres high, the extinct Others are not so sure because of the absence may describe a natural feature. These write it now and you can call the bank volcanic plug doesn’t seem to have any of documentary proof. surnames were simply acquired when a person Monday to verify the funds and I’ll pick the outstanding features of particular interest. Yet, Whatever the truth of the events there is no without a surname needed one. Examples: ring up Monday afternoon,” he said. this tiny island has been at the centre of an doubt Bill Frost was an early pioneer of Stern (Star), Engle (Angel German). international dispute for over half a century. aviation. His “Flying Machine” provided the link Monday morning, the jeweller phoned Dai... Until the last hundred years or so when the Four nations - the UK, Ireland, Iceland and between the aeroplane and the airship. ”There’s no money in that account.” spelling of a surname became standardized, Denmark, have all stalked claim on the island. the same person's surname could be spelled Why would anyone be so keen on a piece of “I know,” replied Dai, “But let me tell you differently from record to record. Before the rock in the middle of nowhere? The answer lies Sibling rivalry is for kids! about my weekend!” 19th century, when many people were illiterate, in the vast tracts of surrounding fisheries and the names on records were written by clerks the huge oil and gas reserves hidden in the and priests the way they heard the name surrounding seabed. (Source: Amusing Planet)

GRAVE TIMES design allows people to either pour out the YOUR HEALTH • Lean Beef and Veal contents, or scoop them out, depending on • Tofu It's a bit much, isn't it, personal taste and the contents of the jar. Jars HIGH FIBRE FOOD • Beans (Mature Soy Beans, Kidney to be sacked for are also easier to stack than bottles, as they allegedly going about classically have flat tops, taking up less space Beans, White Beans, Lima Beans, he advantage of your work with a than bottles, which must be stacked in large T Fava Beans, Black Beans, Mung cheerful, happy racks. eating foods that are Beans) high in fibre is that they • Eggs (particularly the whites) demeanour. That's what happened to 59-year- The primary disadvantage of a bottle is its old Ray Loxton of Shepton Mallet. Sacked for help to keep you fuller • Yogurt, Milk, Soymilk, Nuts and narrow neck, which makes it unsuitable for thick for longer and regular. being happy. OK, so he's a gravedigger and or chunky solids. A jar, on the other hand, is not Seeds (Pumpkin, Squash, was photographed in the local newspaper The following foods are Watermelon seeds, Peanuts, ideally suited to liquids, because the wide neck all good sources of dietary fibre… standing in a freshly dug grave, grinning fit to makes it easy for the liquid to slop out. For Almonds, Pistachios, Sunflower • Wholemeal, granary and softgrain burst, and apparently giving a jaunty salute to drinking, many people prefer to use bottles, seeds, Flaxseed, Mixed nuts). the camera. Not appropriate, some not-yet- varieties of bread because jars can slop their contents onto the • dead readers complained: the man is consumer when he or she tries to take a sip. Jacket potatoes, new potatoes in insufficiently, er, grave. They would have their skins and baked potato skins Great minds discuss ideas, Average preferred someone dressed all in black, Historically, bottles and jars were made from • Wholegrain breakfast cereals, eg. minds discuss events, Small minds scowling and carrying a scythe, I think. porcelain and glass. Many cultures have a rich Weetabix, branflakes, unsweetened discuss people. tradition of ornamental containers, some of muesli, Shreddies and porridge (Source: Sunday Times 1.12.2013) which can be seen on display in museums. oats - Eleanor Roosevelt (1884 - 1962) Today, materials like plastic may be used as • Wholemeal pasta and brown rice well, with plastic bottles and jars being less • Beans, lentils and peas prone to breakage. Metal, wood, and natural BRITISH PROTECTED NAME JAR OR BOTTLE? materials like gourds can also be fashioned into • Fresh and dried fruits – particularly bottles and jars. (Source: WiseGeek) if the skins are eaten CHEESES Jars and bottles are • Vegetables – particularly if the skins distinguished by their openings. There are 10 British A jar has a wide mouth, are eaten • Protected Name typically of the same width of Nuts and seeds Cheeses currently the jar or very close to it. A bottle, on the other NEWS OF THE WEIRD • Wholemeal flour being produced hand, has a neck, which is much narrower than with a further 3 the body of the bottle, with a lipped mouth to Authorities recently declared that Indian having been facilitate pouring without spilling. Both jars and HIGH PROTEIN FOODS registered but not currently in production. There guru Ashutosh Maharaj died of a heart bottles have a wide range of uses, and they are three schemes in operation - all of which attack. But his followers refuse to believe he's have been around for centuries in their basic Protein is a macro nutrient composed of guarantee to the consumer that they have been dead. Instead, they insist that he's merely in forms. amino acids that is necessary for the proper made to a specified recipe - and each product a state of "samadhi", which is the "highest growth and function of the human body. While Bottles are used primarily to store liquids. They must display on its packaging the appropriate plane of meditation." the body can manufacture several amino acids are not effective for solid storage because of logo. The ten protected cheeses are:- So they've decided to freeze him, to help required for protein production, a set of the narrow neck, which makes it difficult to pour preserve him until he decides to wake up. essential amino acids needs to be obtained out the contents of the bottle, let alone get 1 - Beacon Fell Traditional Lancashire They considered embalming him, but Swami from animal and/or vegetable protein sources. something inside. Thick liquids such as ketchup 2 - Dorset Blue Cheese Vishalanand (a spokesman for the group) and other sauces may also be packaged in 3 - Exmoor Blue Cheese said, "somebody told us that his chances of The following foods are all good sources of high bottles, and there are a wide variety of bottle 4 - Single Gloucester revival were less if we did it." protein... designs available, from bottles designed to 5 - Staffordshire Cheese • keep their contents carbonated to bottles with (Actually, I'm guessing his chances of revival are about Turkey and Chicken Breast (to a 6 - Swaledale Cheese traps for sediment. Bottles may be corked, the same whatever they do). lesser degree the legs and thighs) 7 - West Country Farmhouse Cheddar stoppered, or sealed in other creative ways, like • Fish (Tuna, Salmon, Halibut, 8 - Blue Stilton Cheese 9 - White Stilton Cheese with a marble which pushes against a rubber San Francisco has a serious public urination Snapper, Perch, Flounder, Sole, Cod) 10 - Dovedale Cheese gasket as long as the contents of the bottle stay problem. That is, too many people using carbonated. • Cheese (Non fat Mozzarella, Low doorways and the sides of buildings as A jar, on the other hand, can be used to store urinals. One solution now being tried is the Fat Cottage Cheese, Low fat Swiss liquids or solids. Jars are classically cylindrical, PPlanter. The basic idea is that it's a urinal Cheese, Low fat Cheddar, You can go anywhere you want if you although they may also be made in the form of that channels all the waste liquid directly into Parmesan, Romano. look serious and carry a clipboard. squares and other shapes. Like bottles, jars can an adjacent planter full of bamboo, and the • Pork Loin Chops, Pork Sirloin be sealed in a wide variety of ways, and their bamboo filters and purifies it. Roast, Ham, Bacon. FRUIT FLY ELIMINATION MOST RELIABLE Phil Wood (BBC Radio Manchester): + CAR 2013 What's 11 squared? Contestant: I don't know. Got fruit flies? Ugh. All it takes Below is the list of the Phil Wood: I'll give you a clue. It's two ones with is one piece of rotting fruit, and top ten most reliable These comical responses a two in the middle. you can find yourself with a maddening fruit fly cars 2013 taken from were all aired on TV and Contestant: Is it five? infestation in your kitchen. Even if you throw out the Auto Express radio, captured for ever for the world to see and (Answer: 121) your produce and clean your kitchen, the fruit Driver Power customer satisfaction survey, hear. flies may persist. The best way to control fruit which asked owners to rank their cars in many They were compiled for satirical magazine flies at this point is to get rid of the breeding different categories, including how reliable they Richard Madeley (Richard and Judy): adults. You can make a simple vinegar trap to are. Private Eye's "Dumb Britain" - which gathers the most ridiculous show answers every week. On which street did Sherlock Holmes live? catch and kill fruit flies that just won't go away. 1 Toyota Yaris hatchback Contestant: Er... Fortunately, fruit flies aren't very bright. The 2 Subaru Forester SUV Alex Trelinski (Late Show, BBC Midlands): Richard: He makes bread. adults spend all their time focused on two 3 Honda Jazz hatchback Contestant: Er... What is the capital of Italy? goals: mating and laying eggs on rotting fruit. 4 Hyundai ix35 SUV Richard: He makes cakes. Contestant: France. They use their sense of smell to find fermenting 5 Skoda Yeti SUV Contestant: Kipling Street? Alex: France is another country. Try again. produce, and will fly to their target with little 6 Toyota Prius hybrid hatchback (Answer: Baker Street) Contestant: Oh, um, Benidorm. regard for their own safety. That's why a 7 Vauxhall Agila hatchback Alex: Wrong, sorry. Let's try another question. vinegar trap is so effective. The trap is designed 8 Toyota iQ city car In which country is the Parthenon? to lure the fruit flies in, and to prevent them from 9 Honda Accord saloon Question (BRMB Radio): escaping. 10 Skoda Superb hatchback Contestant: Sorry, I don't know. Alex: Just guess a country. What religion was Guy Fawkes? To make a vinegar trap for fruit flies, you'll need Contestant: Paris. Contestant: Jewish. just a few things (and you probably already (Answers: Rome and Greece) Host: That's close enough. have them in your home): (Answer: Roman Catholic) • a glass or cup THE EQUATOR IN • a plastic bag large enough to fit over ECUADOR Anne Robinson (The Weakest Link, BBC2):

the glass Oscar Wilde, Adolf Hitler and Jeffrey Archer Phil Wood (BBC GMR): • Although the equator a rubber band runs through hundreds of have all written books about their experiences What 'K' could be described as the Islamic • scissors places, one country that in: Prison or the Conservative Party? Bible? • apple cider vinegar takes particular pride in Contestant: The Conservative Party. Contestant: Er... (Answer: Prison) its unique geographical location is Ecuador. In Phil: It's got two sylla-bles... Kor...

Pour a small amount – an inch or so – of apple fact, the official name of Ecuador - the Republic Contestant: Blimey? cider vinegar into the glass. The cider vinegar of Ecuador literally translates to "Republic of Phil:Ha ha ha, no. The past participle of run... Jeremy Paxman (University Challenge, BBC2): Contestant: Silence has a nice, fruity aroma that fruit flies simply the Equator". Its capital city of Quito, lies smack cannot resist. Using the scissors, snip the in the middle of the imaginary line. What is another name for "cherrypickers" and Phil:Okay, try it another way. Today I run, corner off the plastic bag. This should created a yesterday I... The Equator was discovered and mapped out "cheesemongers"? hole just large enough for fruit flies to pass Contestant: Walked? by a French geodesic expedition team that was Contestant:: Homosexuals. through, but not so large that it will be easy for Paxman: No. They're regiments in the British (Answers: Koran) led by an explorer named Charles-Marie de La them to escape. Army who will be very upset with you. Comdamine in the year 1736. La Condamine Place the bag over the glass, and position the spent 10 years in Ecuador taking hole you've cut over the center. Push the measurements and proved that the world is not snipped corner down into the glass so the bag perfectly round, but that it bulges at the equator. forms a funnel in the glass, but doesn't touch In 1936, the Government of Ecuador built a The Bônau Cabbage Patch is published and issued by The Pwll Action Committee. The editors are: Peter Kent (53 Pwll Road - 755260) & Jeff Williams (81 Pwll Road - 777420). Please submit your reports, articles etc to either editor or any other the vinegar. Use the rubber band to secure the monument to commemorate the 200th committee member. Hand written reports are OK – we’ll type them up for you. Please ensure you include your name, address and bag to the glass. anniversary of the first geodesic expedition of telephone number so we can contact you just in case we need clarification or we can’t read your writin g! You can also contact the the French Academy of Sciences. This was magazine by e-mail at: [email protected] Place your vinegar trap in the area where you replaced by a 30-meter tall tower topped by a th see the most fruit. If you have a heavy fruit fly Closing date for submissions of articles, reports etc for the Winter edition is 24 October 2014 – globe five feet across in 1979. The monument amended adverts by 20 th October 2014. infestation, you might want to make several lies inside a park named “Mitad del Mundo” or vinegar traps, and place them around your Any views and opinions expressed in this magazine are not necessarily the views and opinions of The Pwll Action Committee. “Middle of the World”. A thick yellow line runs http://www.pwllmag.co.uk kitchen and in other rooms where fruit flies are through the grounds that supposedly marks the Copyright exists on all articles and photographs published in this magazine. All photos and articles copyrighted © by their respective present. precise position of the equator. owners.

WALES OF YESTERYEAR Medieval Cantrefi of Wales

A Cantref (plural Cantrefi) was a medieval Welsh land division, particularly important in the administration of Welsh law. Land in medieval Wales was divided into cantrefi, which were themselves divided into smaller cymydau. The name "cantref" is derived from " Cant" ("a hundred") and " tref" ("town" in modern Welsh but formerly used for much smaller settlements).