EDITORIAL Any photographs we use are first ALL SAINTS’ DAY – In north-east Derbyshire and south scanned and then the originals are 1st November Yorkshire villages, children would engage Welcome to edition No 22 of returned to their rightful owners so don’t in a bout of Jolly Minering. A local variant The Bônau Cabbage Patch. be shy or fearful in sending us your In the year 835 AD the on Penny for the Guy traditions, the aim We have put a lot of effort into photographs. It would be handy though if Roman Catholic Church was to raise money for sweets and preparing this edition for you and we you wrote your name and address on the made November 1st a fireworks. hope you enjoy it. It has all the usual back of the photo (in pencil) or you could church holiday to honour features plus, hopefully, some you will attach one of those ‘post-it-notes’. all the saints. This feast Their alms song started like this: find educating or amusing. Enjoy. day is called All Saints' Day. “We're three Jolly Miners, and we're not Thanks. ( The colour cover is only temporary – we worth a pin, All Saints' Day used to be known as All revert to our usual style next edition) . - Ed DATES FOR YOUR So give us a piece of coal and we'll make Hallows (Hallow being an old word the kettle sing”. DIARY meaning Saint or Holy Person). The feast

day actually started the previous evening, THANK YOU TO OUR SPONSORS The song itself comes from an earlier the Eve of All Hallows or Halloween, time when the aim of the activity was to which has its origins in the Celtic feast of We would like to welcome our new 2nd Sept First Day of Ramadan gather coal, either for the 'bonfire hole', or nd Samhain, when people carried out sponsors to the magazine and hope that 22 Sept First Day of autumn simply to light fire to cook and 'make the th various activities to frighten away evil our association will be a long and 30 Sept Jewish New Year kettle sing'. nd spirits which were thought to accompany enjoyable one. 2 Oct End of Ramadan th the long hours of winter darkness.

9 Oct Day of Atonement Christians adopted the festival believing We would also like to express our thanks 21 st Oct Trafalgar Day and gratitude to all our sponsors without th that goodwill always conquers evil, and 24 Oct United Nations Day that Jesus, the light of the World, defeats REMEMBER, whose generous contributions this edition 26 th Oct Summer Time Ends REMEMBER of the magazine would not have been all the fear of darkness. 31 Oct Halloween possible. st On Saints' Day, Christians remember all 1 Nov All Saints Day Remember, nd We ask our readers to patronise our 2 Nov All Souls Day 'men of good will' (saints), great ones and remember the fifth of TH sponsors whenever possible and please 4 Nov Mischief Night forgotten ones, who have died through November th mention the Bônau Cabbage Patch when 5 Nov Guy Fawkes Night the ages. The gunpowder th you make your purchases. 9 Nov Remembrance Sunday treason and plot. th Saints are men and women from all ages 30 Nov Advent Day I see no reason why gunpowder treason th and all walks of life, who were 30 Nov St Andrews Day outstanding Christians. Some are martyrs Should ever be forgot. BÔNAU DEADLINES and they died for their faith. The church honours all of them. Guy Fawkes, twas his intent

he deadline for the Christmas edition of CLOCKS GO To blow up king and parliament. T All Saints' Day, together with All Souls' Three score barrels were laid below The Bônau Cabbage Patch is 25 th BACK Day are know collectively as Hallowtide. th To prove old England's overthrow. October for your articles or reports or 20 'Spring Forward' October for any amendments to your and 'Fall Back' - By God's mercy he was catched advert. that's how to With a dark lantern and lighted match. MISCHIEF NIGHT – Holler boys, holler boys, let the bells ring remember when to change the clocks. th CONTACTING US This year, 2008, we 'Go Back' early 4 November Holler boys, holler boys, God save the Sunday morning October 26 - so King. To contact The Bônau Cabbage Patch remember to put your clocks back one or The Pwll Action Committee please call hour, officially at 1am GMT (2am BST) or November 4th is known as Mischief Night in some parts of the 755665 or 755260 or 777420 or drop for some of us that will be before we go My interest is in the future because country. This was the night when all sorts your articles or reports through our to sleep on Saturday night! I am going to spend the rest of my of naughty things were done - the main letterboxes at 43 or 53 or 81 Pwll Road or life there. you can send us an e-mail at: idea being to put things in the wrong Nostalgia is a thing of the past. place. [email protected]

TO A PHENOMENAL WOMAN himself, 'Watch me make them A WALK ON THE whilst the owner was rounding up the scamper,'" she said. Earhart, who felt WILD SIDE sheep. Just as they were capturing the When I was in my last animal there was a mass breakout. younger days, a mixture of fear and pleasure, stood Shortly after they were sighted down in I weighed a few pounds her ground. As the plane swooped by, Believe it or not the Ger-Y-Coed. Where next? less, month of May turned something inside her awakened. "I did DAY 2 I needn't hold my tummy in out to be the warmest not understand it at the time," she Some of the sheep were still at large and To wear a belted dress. since 1914, where mean temperatures said, "but I believe that little red had ventured across the main road But now that I am older, were generally a few degrees above towards the park, plenty of juicy grass I've set my body free; airplane said something to me as it average. down there; surely they would be There's comfort of elastic swished by." On December 28, 1920, Just missing the rounded up today. That’s what we all Where once my waist would be. pilot Frank Hawks gave her a ride that previous edition, the thought. Inventor of those high-heeled shoes would forever change her life. "By the end of April saw a large My feet have not forgiven; DAY 3 time I had got two or three hundred black and white moth I have to wear a nine now, The animals had now been spotted on feet off the ground," she said, "I knew visiting a local drinking establishment, But used to wear a seven. which caused quite a stir that night as Pwll Road and later that day they I had to fly." reappeared back in the gardens of Elgin And how about those blasted tights -- nobody could identify it. Many thanks to Road. Some attempts were made to They're sized by weight, you see, Alan Peters of Pwll Road who informed capture these sheep but were So how come when I put them on One afternoon in April 1928, a phone me a few days later that in fact it was a unsuccessful. The crotch is at my knee? call came for Amelia at work. "I'm too male sloe emperor moth native to Italy and eastern Europe, but obviously was I need to wear these glasses busy to answer just now," she said. DAY 4 As the print's been getting smaller; enjoying a Saturday night out in good old At last no sightings that morning and it After hearing that it was important, And it wasn't very long ago downtown Pwll. appeared that they had been caught, but Amelia relented though at first she I know that I was taller. Thursday May alas after a resident departing a public Though my hair has turned to grey thought it was a prank. It wasn't until 22nd and the house thought he was hallucinating when And my skin no longer fits, the caller supplied excellent following days seeing three sheep at the top of Tyle- On the inside, I'm the same old me, references that she realized the man could only be Catherine, they were still at large. How The outside's changed a bit. much longer were they going to roam the was serious. "Would you like to fly the described as a bizarre turn of streets of the village? Since then there (Poem submitted by Pat Lewis) Atlantic?" he asked, to which Amelia events. Early that afternoon six sheep were no more reported sightings, hooray! promptly replied, "Yes!" After an The animals were believed to have come were sighted in the car park of Pwll interview in New York with the project School, where on earth had they come from a smallholding on the Trimsaran Road. 80 YEARS OF coordinators, including book publisher from? An unfortunate member of staff and publicist George P. Putnam, she was became startled by their presence and off One unusual sighting in When 10-year-old they went on a merry tour of the village. I asked to join pilot Wilmer "Bill" Stultz June was that of a wonder were they attending the school kingfisher flying from Amelia Mary Earhart and co-pilot/mechanic Louis E. "Slim" saw her first plane for some ed‘ewe’cation. Shortly later they Pwll Road towards Elgin Gordon. The team left were spotted in gardens of Elgin Road, Road, where was it going? No water at a state fair, she Harbour, Newfoundland, in a Fokker F7 they then headed west, at this stage I around there very peculiar don’t you was not impressed. named Friendship on June 17, 1928, and was totally unaware of the situation and think? One Saturday later that month I It wasn't until she saw a resident of Ael-Y-Bryn standing on observed young lads fishing in the lakes. landed in the estuary opposite Pwll, 21 attended a stunt- guard outside number 3 Thomas Terrace. I enquired any luck boys? Two mullet hours later. Their landmark flight made Well-done to Gordon Simpson! I asked flying exhibition, almost a decade and a couple of crabs came the reply, headlines worldwide. what was the problem and lo and behold further evidence of the salty conditions. later, that she became seriously there were the sheep munching away at Unfortunately British Summer Time ends interested in aviation. A pilot spotted A blue Plaque has recently been unveiled the remainder of the bluebells - yum yum! on 25th October so don’t forget to turn Earhart and her friend, who were in Pwll to commemorate Amelia Earhart’s Shortly after the council arrived and your clocks back on hour that evening. watching from an isolated clearing, and touchdown in Pwll – See Page 7 managed to locate the owner, later that afternoon other residents were involved dived at them. "I am sure he said to See you all in December. DID YOU KNOW DONALD DUCK WHAT’S A BILLION? - Your body is creating and • In 1940s, he killing 15 million red blood cells was so popular that A billion is a per second. he featured in more difficult number to - Tipping at a restaurant in Iceland is cartoons than comprehend. However, when that figure is considered an insult. Mickey Mouse. put into perspective, it is much easier to • His full name is Donald Fauntleroy understand: - Until the nineteenth century, solid Duck. blocks of tea were used as money in • A billion seconds ago it was 1976 Debuted in the Disney version of Siberia. The Little Red Hen , called The Wise A billion minutes ago Jesus had just been - A Boeing 747 airliner holds 57,285 Little Hen ; played (along with Peter crucified. Pig) one of those unwilling to help his gallons of fuel. A billion hours ago our ancestors were living neighbour. - Rubber bands last longer when in the stone-age. • Starred in Academy Award- refrigerated. winning cartoon, Der Fuehrer's Face , A billion £’s, at the rate our government about the nightmare of living in Nazi spends money, was only 8 hours and 20 Germany. minutes ago. • Present family consists of BLUE PLAQUE FOR AMELIA Pictured after being presented with a nephews Huey, Dewey and Louie,

EARHEART’S TOUCHDOWN IN cheque from Rural Council wealthy uncle Scrooge McDuck, cousin towards part of the cost of the plaque Gladstone Gander, and Grandma PICABO STREET PWLL Duck. are: • Lives with Huey, Dewey and Louie The famous Olympic skier Picabo Street, is Cllr Sian Caiach, William Jones (Pwll in a house in Duckburg. not just an athlete, she is Action Committee), David Webb (Pwll • Father's name is Quackmore also a nurse who currently works in the Intensive Action Committee), Chair of Llanelli Duck, mother is Hortense McDuck, twin sister is Della Thelma Duck. Care Unit (I.C.U.) of a Rural Council Cllr Mari Davies, Cllr Mike • 9th June 1934, date of screen large Evans. Kneeling are Huw Morgan Lewis debut, most often used for Donald's American hospital.

and John Wynne Hopkins (representing birthday. Although a distinguished • Llanelli Community Heritage) Donald built a car from spare nurse, Picabo is not parts, and still drives it (registration permitted to answer the We would like to thank Llanelli Rural number is 313); also has a boat, the telephone because too much confusion Miss Daisy. Council for the award of a grant to ensues when she answers the phone and • Clarence "Ducky" Nash provided says, " Picabo, I.C.U.” enable the funding of the plaque. Donald's voice for over 50 years, Diolch yn fawr. succeeded by Tony Anselmo in 1984. (I don’t believe it either but that’s what is says on the • Nash did Donald's voice in every Internet – Ed) th language the cartoons were translated To commemorate the 80 anniversary into, making him equally incoherent in of Amelia Earheart’s touchdown in Pwll every language. the Pwll Action Committee in SILLY QUOTES TELEVISION LAUNCH conjunction with Llanelli Community Some Quotes by Donald Duck: "You know the one thing that's wrong “Oh, yeah?” BBC 1 launched 1936 Heritage and Llanelli Rural Council have with this country? Everyone gets a “Hiya, Toots!” BBC 2 launched 1964 erected a blue plaque on the cycle path chance to have their fair say." - Bill Clinton, “Aw, phooey!” ITV 1 launched 1955 former U.S. President Channel 4 launched 1982 close to the Pwll Pavilion and opposite “Oh boy, oh boy, oh boy!” S4C launched 1982 "Life is very important to Americans."- Bob “Nothin’ to it!” where Friendship came to rest before Channel 5 launched 1997 Dole, U.S. Senator from Kansas being towed into harbour. Channel 5 re-branded itself in 2002 as Women who seek to be equal “Five” with men lack ambition.

DON’T BLAME US DID YOU KNOW

When women are angry with a man,

40% of them throw their shoes

Men can read smaller print than women; women can hear better then men.

Every square inch of the human body has an average of 32 million bacteria on it.

On average, a 4 year old child asks 437 questions a day.

No one knows why, but 90 percent of

women who walk into a department store This is a picture of a clothing label from immediately turn to the right. (I bet they do! - Ed) a small American company that sells their product in France. Here is the translation Madame Pompadour gained in power of the French part of the label: while being placed under the king.

The Papal bull was a mad bull kept by Wash with warm water. It’s a Knockout – Year unknown the Pope in the Inquisition to trample on Winter 1982 – Photo Tony Watson Use mild soap. Protestants. Dry flat. Do not use bleach.

PWLL SOCCER Do not dry in the dryer. HIGH TIDES Do not iron. CLUB Why did Moses wander around We are sorry that our president is an the desert for 40 years? Because Finishing League (Height of tides at North Dock, Llanelli) idiot. We did not vote for him. he was a man and men never Table (2007/8 season): AM HEIGHT PM HEIGHT stop to ask directions.

06 Sept 09:38 6.5 21:54 6.3 Premier Division P W D L GD Pts 13 Sept 04:45 6.7 17:00 7.2 FEET 20 Sept 08:55 7.4 21:22 7.2 Seaside 22 19 1 2 52 58 27 Sept 04:36 7.2 16:54 7.6 On average, people living

Evans & Williams 22 14 4 4 24 46 in the South of Britain 04 Oct 08:31 7.1 20:46 6.8 Burry Port 22 14 3 5 16 45 11 Oct 03:23 6.1 15:41 6.7 have larger feet than those THE ORIGIN OF Trostre 22 10 5 7 5 35 18 Oct 07:59 7.9 20:24 7.7 living in the North. 25 Oct 03:19 6.6 15:41 7.1 ‘PENGUIN’ Bwlch 22 11 1 10 4 34 Mole’s feet carried in a pocket are said to he name 'penguin' Dafen 22 9 2 11 -8 29 01 Nov 07:35 7.3 18:50 7.1 be a charm against cramp. The forefeet T Johnstown 22 8 2 12 -11 26 08 Nov 01:15 5.7 13:50 6.1 was first reported from 15 Nov 07:02 8.1 19:29 8.0 are said to cure aching arms whilst hind Hendy 22 8 2 12 -13 26 feet are supposed to be good for aching Newfoundland in a letter 22 Nov 01:33 6.2 14:03 6.6 of 1578 and was pronounced 'pin-wing' Camford 22 7 4 11 -1 25 29 Nov 06:46 7.4 19:02 7.1 and painful legs. with reference to its curiously rudimentary Pwll 22 5 6 11 -13 21 (Time shown is GMT) – Thanks to Llanelli Rural Council wings. As early as 1588, the term was

Gorseinon 22 7 0 15 -25 20 "Ninety per -cent of what we worry being applied to the southern birds which FULL MOON DATES : we know as 'penguins' today, and which Trallwm 22 4 2 16 -30 13 about never happens, yet we worry also have rudimentary wings (not white 14 Oct 08 09 Feb 09 07 June 09 and worry. What a horrible way to 13 Nov 08 11 Mar 09 07 July 09 heads which is what the Welsh claim the 12 Dec 08 09 Apr 09 06 Aug 09 go through life! What a horrible bird was named after - pen gwyn 11 Jan 09 09 May 09 04 Sept 09 thing to do to your colon!" (Leo F Buscaglia) meaning 'white head' in Welsh ). PWLL OF YESTERYEAR RAINY DAYS The longest recorded game was 1,680

hours – more than 70 days. The average British

shower last for 2½

hours and is most When you are thirsty, it's too likely to occur at 7am late to dig a well. in the morning. The least likely time for rain is 3pm.

The old countryman’s saying “If rain begins at early morning light, ‘twill end ere day at noon is bright”, is almost WHAT SOME KIDS always true. WRITE

The official wettest place on earth is shared by two places: Mawsynran in India and Mount Wai-‘ale-‘ale in Hawaii. Pine is an example of a carnivorous Both have an average of 39 feet per year tree.

which compares quite favourably with Crib Coch in Snowdonia – Britain’s Our school is ventilated by currants.

record holder – with a mere 14 feet. The adder is a poisonous snack.

It is more likely to rain at the weekend An octogenarian is an animal which has

Photo – Warren Leyshon than during the week. This is caused by eight young at birth.

pollution building up during the working Stradivarius is an imaginary prehistoric week making it more likely to rain after 5 animal. days. In parts of America it is 22% more likely to rain on a Saturday than on a The Philistines are islands in the pacific.

SANITATION Monday. The natives of Macedonia did not believe The invention of the The Minoans evolved the Nobody really knows where the saying in Paul, so he got stoned. flush toilet is widely first-known form of “raining cats and dogs” came from but it attributed to the In 1957, Eugene O'Neil won a Pullet flushing toilet in Crete does date back to the 18 th century. London plumber around 2000 BC. Their Surprise. Thomas Crapper, who Earlier examples are “raining dogs and version was a simple The President of the United States, in patented a U-bend polecats” or the Welsh expression “bwrw stone cistern, gravity fed having foreign affairs, has to have the siphoning system in with water from a stream that was released hen wragedd a ffyn” – meaning “raining old women and sticks”. Stay dry. consent of the Senate. the late 19th century. Before him, Sir John into the pan by pulling a lever. These early

Harington, godson of Queen Elizabeth I, plumbers went on to use a system of The difference between a king and a ended his career after being ridiculed for the interlocking clay pipes, sewers and manhole president is that the king is son of the same invention. He never built another one, covers. father, but a president isn't. though he and his godmother both used MONOPOLY theirs. On the Orkneys archaeologists have found To collect sulphur, hold a deacon over a flame in a test tube Britain's claim to have invented the water evidence of attempts to clear foul water that date to 4800 BC. Waste was simply The original version closet was, however, recently upstaged by was played on a China where, apparently, a 2000-year-old directed into a passing stream. round board. toilet was discovered, complete with running water, a stone seat and armrest. The most landed on Would a fly without wings be called They show you how detergents Archaeologists are said to have found the square is Trafalgar take out bloodstains. I think if latrine in the tomb of a king of the Western a walk? Square. you've got a T-shirt with Han Dynasty (206 BC to AD 24), who bloodstains all over it, maybe believed he would need the convenience in It is the best-selling board game in the your laundry isn't your biggest his afterlife. world, licensed or sold in over 80 countries and produced in 26 languages. problem. PWLL OF YESTERYEAR TYMOR NEWYDD, CYFLE NEWYDD well gennych wrando ar farn eraill, mae croeso i chi wneud hynny hefyd. Wedyn ‘Croeso Medi, fis fy serch’, medd Eifion bydd cyfle am sgwrs a chlonc dros Wyn, gan fynd ymlaen i sôn am gwpanaid o de. Beth am roi cynnig arni? bleserau’r mis hwn. Mae’r bardd yn Dewch aton ni am bythefnos i weld sut

canolbwyntio ar nodweddion byd natur byddwch chi’n mwynhau cyn penderfynu ym mis Medi ond mae yna bethau eraill ydych chi am ymaelodi. hefyd sy’n cael eu cysylltu â’r mis hwn. Rydym yn cwrdd yn Festri Libanus ar • Dyma pryd mae’r flwyddyn bnawn Mercher o 2 – 4 o’r gloch am ddeg academaidd yn dechrau gyda wythnos. Cynhelir y 5 cyfarfod cyntaf ar phlant yn mynd i’r ysgol am y tro 24 Medi, 1 Hydref, 22 Hydref, 29 Hydref cyntaf, yn newid dosbarth neu a 5 Tachwedd. Y gost am 10 cyfarfod

ysgol neu’n mynd i’r coleg. gan gynnwys benthyca llyfrau’n rhad ac

• Dyma pryd y bydd oedolion am ddim, cwpanaid o de a bisgedi yw £5. hefyd yn meddwl am ymuno â Bargen! Os hoffech gael mwy o fanylion, dosbarthiadau nos i ddysgu sgìl neu os ydych chi’n awyddus i ymuno â ni neu iaith newydd. cysylltwch â Bethan Clement ar 01554 750864. Er ein bod ar drothwy’r gaeaf, mae llawer yn gweld y tymor hwn fel dechrau

blwyddyn a chyfle i ddechrau rhywbeth o’r newydd. Beth amdanoch chi? Beth am ymuno â dosbarth neu gymdeithas newydd y mis hwn?

CAKES & Oeddech chi’n gwybod fod dosbarth ALES "Gentlemen sitting examinations may darllen a thrafod llenyddiaeth Gymraeg request and require Cakes and Ale." wedi bod yn cwrdd yn Festri Libanus ers Here is a true Cola and burgers were judged the dros deng mlynedd ar hugain? Yn ystod story someone found regarding exams at modern equivalent, and the student sat y cyfnod hwn, rydym wedi darllen pob Cambridge University. It seems that A hithau’n flwyddyn darllen genedlaethol there, writing his examination and happily math o lyfrau, yn straeon, nofelau, during an examination one day a bright eleni, dyma gyfle gwych i ddechrau neu slurping away. dramâu, cofiannau a barddoniaeth. young student popped up and asked the Rydym wedi dysgu llawer oddi wrth ein ymestyn eich diddordeb. Dewch ymlaen, proctor to bring him Cakes and Ale. Three weeks later, the student was fined gilydd, rydym wedi trafod a dadlau, ond rhowch gynnig arni! £500 for not wearing a sword to the The following dialogue ensued: yn bwysicach na hynny, rydym wedi cael Edrychwn ymlaen at gael estyn croeso examination. llawer o hwyl a mwynhad yng nghwmni’n cynnes iawn i chi. Proctor: I beg your pardon? gilydd. Student: Sir, I request that you bring me Mae croeso cynnes i unrhyw un ymuno â LEAPLINGS Cakes and Ale. SPIDER ni. Does dim ots os nad ydych chi’n

Proctor: Sorry, no. darllen llyfrau Cymraeg fel arfer. Since, technically, a year consists of Byddwch yn gallu benthyca’r llyfrau i gyd 365 days and approximately 6 hours, Student: Sir, I really must insist. I request If you wish to live and thrive yn rhad ac am ddim ac fe gewch ddarllen every four years these hours amount to a and require that you bring me Cakes and Let the spider run alive. gymaint neu gyn lleied ag y mynnoch full day. In order to synchronize the Ale. rhwng y dosbarthiadau. Nid gwers neu Gregorian calendar with the astronomical

At this point, the student produced a copy ddarlith yw’r dosbarthiadau. Fe gewch year, a leap day, February 29, is added of the four hundred year old Laws of Have patience. All things chi wybodaeth am gefndir y llyfr a’r awdur to the 28-day month once every four Cambridge, written in Latin and still change in due time. Wishing dan sylw ac wedyn bydd cyfle i drafod a years. As such, leap years are always nominally in effect, and pointed to the cannot bring autumn glory or mynegi barn. Mae croeso i aelodau evenly divisible by four. Persons born on section which read (roughly translated): cause winter to cease. gymryd rhan yn y drafodaeth ond os yw’n a leap day are called “leaplings,” HOLY understand life. CAPEL Rhif ffon 01554 758023 am fanylion pellach. TRINITY Our church in Pwll is named Holy Trinity LIBANUS CHURCH – a reminder of our God who is CHAPEL CYMORTH CRISTNOGOL / CHRISTIAN mysteriously “three persons in one God”. AID July of this year Some of you may have seen in the Oedfaon y Sul ollowing the collection at the United is a very F sanctuary of Holy Trinity Church a copy am 10.00 y bore Service and the house to house important month for Anglican Churches of an ancient Icon of the Trinity painted in th th collection our Treasurer, Leslie Evans, for it marks the 14 Lambeth Conference. the 14 century by Andrei Rublev. In the Ysgol Sul :- Ysgolion Sul y plant yn ail- The Lambeth Conference is a gathering has again been able to send a cheque for Icon, three persons who appear to be ddechrau mis Medi ar ol gwyliau’r haf. £1,000 on behalf of the Village. Also a of all the bishops of the Anglican exactly the same but dressed in different Communion throughout the world. It Un Oedfa Gymun y mis a’r Suliau yn big thank you to the Collectors who gave colours, sit around a table and share a up their time to cover as many houses as happens every ten years under the common chalice. The fourth side of the amrywio. they could. Thank you to everyone who presidency of the Archbishop of table is empty and anticipates the Cynhelir Cyfarfodydd arbennig:- Canterbury. The first conference took continue to support the poor of the Third invitation for you and me to partake in Diolchgarwch a’r Nadolig. World and for your generous donations. place in 1867 in Lambeth Palace but as this feast – which, of course, we do Sul y chwiorydd yn flynyddol. the Anglican Communion has grown, so through the Eucharist Sul y dynion yn flynyddol. Anyone interested in more information or has the number of Bishops (now who have a little spare time, we would be But it reminds me that at the heart of the Suliau plant ac athrawon yr Ysgol Sul. amounting to about 800) and so in latter Suliau dan arweiniad yr aelodau. more than glad of your help. Contact No. years it has taken place in the University Godhead is a model for humanity. We 01554 758023. are all human beings (that Christians Suliau o Fawl. of Kent at Canterbury. Sul Undebol Capeli Cymraeg Llanelli a’r believe are made in the image of God) SUPPORT FOR ROMANIA . The last few decades have been although we dress differently. And we Cylch – Sul olaf mis Mehefin A BIG THANK YOU is not enough for enormously difficult for the Anglican need to recognise that our choice of GWEITHGAREDDAU’R FLWYDDYN:- your response to our appeal for clothes Communion. There have been many dress is inevitably conditioned by culture, Cymdeithas Ddiwylliadol - Bydd y for adults and children at the beginning of disagreements, notably about the education, history, geography and so Gymeithas yn ail ddechrau ym mis Medi June. We were overwhelmed, it was ordination of women to the priesthood many other factors both within and bob pythefnos ar nos Lun am 7 o’r gloch amazing and so generous. Over 80 bags (and now episcopate) and over issues to beyond our control. The challenge is for yn y festri. of clothing were taken to the depot at do with homosexuality and particularly us to sit around the same table, Cawsom amrywiaeth diddorol o Llanishen together with medical supplies, homosexual clergy. All this reached a recognize each other as brothers and siaradwyr a brethyn cartref yn ystod y several bicycles and bedding galore. climax just a few years ago with the sisters of the same human family and to tymor diwethaf. Since then we have had several Crown appointment of Jeffrey John as accept the places from which each of us Dewch i ymuno a chymdeithasu, mae children’s cots, single bed mattresses Bishop of Reading (who subsequently come and learn from each other. croeso cynnes i bawb. turned down the post) and then the and large toys. We had to arrange a It is my hope and prayer Dosbarth Llenyddiaeth - Bydd y special collection as we do not have consecration of Gene Robinson (who dosbarth yn ail gychwyn ym mis Medi, lives with his male partner) as Bishop of that the Lambeth storage facilities, but the Charity was Conference will do exactly pob prynhawn dydd Mercher, am 2 o’r more than pleased to receive these items New Hampshire in the USA. gloch am10 wythnos. this and so encourage us and accommodated us. The real issues here are much bigger all to grow and develop as Dewch i gymdeithasu a mwyhau darllen a Our next collection will be at Harvest that the domestic squabbles of an archaic we share truth and understanding. thrafod llenyddiaeth Cymraeg dros towards the end of September beginning institution. They are to do with the fisoedd y gaeaf. of October when we will be sending rice creation of a global village. As the world Cewch groeso cynnes i ddosbarth gets smaller, so we find that very different Holy Trinity Church Dates for the Diary poblogaidd iawn dan arweiniad Bethan and pasta and tins of meat and fish. people are living nearer each other. 2008 : Clement. There will not be another clothing When we step back from the situation, it Cymorth Cristnogol collecting this year. We are always ready is hardly surprising that the world view of Friday 12 September @ 17.00 - Jumble Sale Pwyllgor Cymorth Cristnogol yn cwrdd yn to take bicycles, even ones that need the Bishop of Juba in the Sudan should in the Church Hall y Festri. repair, and toys for the children in the Sunday 05 October - Harvest Thanksgiving be so different from that of the Bishop of orphanages are always welcome. Three Services Estynnwn groeso cynnes i ddarllenwyr lorries left the depot on 10 th July and a Dallas. This isn’t so much about the Tuesday 07 October @ 19.00 - Harvest Bone Cabej i ymuno yn yr oedfaon a’r further consignment went a week later. church or the Bible but about culture, Supper in the Church Hall gweithgareddau. education, history, geography which Friday 14 November @ 18.00 - Christmas affects the way we interpret scripture and Fayre FA – FOUNDING part. Gill Coldwell and Gwen Rosser learn a different part of a big play. When MEMBERS Jones exhibited a mounted photograph of we finished the activities we all performed a woodland scene, Gill also produced a the play in the courtyard watched by The Founding members of homemade bottle of lemonade, Anne visitors to the castle. The Football Association were: Messer displayed a poster for the mad hatter’s Tea party and Jennifer Congdon Surbington - school knitted a soft toy. Barnes -school Blackheath -school Charterhouse - school PWLL SCHOOL REPORT Percival House - school Kensington - school A DAY IN CAREW CASTLE War Office – Gov Crystal Palace - club Sean James and Alfie Hopkin of year 5 Blackheath – club report on the day when the junior children The Crusaders - club travelled back 500 years. Forest - school

th King Richard III and his men! n Friday 13 June, the juniors went to O Carew Castle in Tenby. We were split Never lend your car to anyone to The title was: Henry Tudor Vs Richard III into four groups. Before we entered the whom you have given birth. th (Battle of Bosworth). Owen in year 6 was castle, we had to wear old 16 Century King Richard and Joe Lewis was Henry clothing they are called Tabards. Tudor, who later became King Henry VII. PWLL W.I. After the Battle we took part in the great festival of Carew castle of 1507. This festival was held by Sir Rhys ap Thomas Alice in Wonderland, T’ai Congratulation to Mabel Binnie who had and it was said that it took him 22 years Chi and Chitty Chitty to organise. We took part in jousting Bang Bang first prize for her flower arrangement in a tea-cup, also winning first prize for her which is when you have one opponent and you have to knock him/her off their Question: What do the above have in photograph of a woodland scene. Congratulations to Eve Lake who won 3 rd horse. Then we did the Sword Fighting. common? Finally we had a feast and we had our prize for her tea cosy. Hopefully next year Answer: Members of Pwll W.I. have more members will take part. own dinner ( our packed lunch). taken part in these activities during the In June Anne Tovey spoke about her last few months. involvement in T’ai chi and then members

In June members visited the National took part in some of the movements We all put on our tabards before we finding it a most relaxing and enjoyable entered the castle. Botanic Gardens of for the ‘Show within a show’ to celebrate Women’s experience. July saw members visiting We went into the castle and we were met Day. There were various women’s the Wales Millennium Centre in Cardiff by the servants’ manager. Then a lady organisations with their own stalls for the stage production of Chitty Chitty named Lady Eva came out. She told displaying information and the various Bang Bang starring Aled Jones. everyone to do some jobs so each group activities they are involved in. Sir Gar Are you interested in joining the W.I. and took part in a different activity. Some of Federation of Women’s want to take part in varied and enjoyable us went down to the kitchen where we Institutes had a marquee with displays activities? Members meet every 2 nd and prepared some food for the feast. Others promoting the work of the W.I movement. 4th Wednesday of the month. The first were busy rebuilding a wall in the castle.

This year the theme for the numerous meeting after the summer holidays will be A group made shields out of clay and a th competitions was ‘Alice in Wonderland’. on Wednesday 10 September in Pwll final group took part in a drama. We Outside the entrance to Carew castle. The following Pwll W.I. members took Community Centre at 7 until 9 o’clock. changed activities every half hour. When we did the drama every group had to After the feast we headed off to the shop. GOODBYE YEAR SIX I have made a new friend called Jacob. There were lots of history books and Joe said I will really miss Mr Thomas.” gifts. We also learned about the historic Sadly time has come to say farewell to Alex Roberts said,“I will really miss building that is Carew Castle. pupils of year 6 who will be leaving for everyone here at Pwll School “. Alex said their secondary school. Kate Thomas she had chicken tikka baguette for lunch After the shopping, we all went to the and Ieuan Williams report on their in Glanymor. Alex said” My form teacher toilet for the journey back to our school. feelings about the challenges which lie ahead. is Mrs Parry”. We took off our tabards. When we reached the bus, we went to school. It Jamie Jones says, “I feel great to leave was home time and we all enjoyed our There are twenty one children in year 6 but also sad to say goodbye to my friends trip! this year. Nineteen of us are going to like: Alfie, Josh Morris, Bradley and Glanymor. Joe Lewis will be starting in Natasha. Jamie said that the food in Queen Elizabeth High School, Glanymor was lush and he also says a Carmarthen and Ieuan Rowe in Coedcae thank you to the teachers at Pwll school. Ashley and Peter with their unicycle in School. We interviewed Joe Lewis, Ieuan Williams also said that the food in the junior yard. here’s what he said: “Well I have mixed Glanymor was lovely. He also said that emotions, but a little nervous”. He has he got lost a couple of times but he Ashley and Peter were clowns in the made new friends, their names are Alexi, eventually found his way around the circus. After school they were performing Stephan and James. Joe has been on a school. He said that he will miss at 5 0’clock and there was another few trips to the school. At the moment the everybody. performance at 7.30. Ashley was able to school is having a lot of building work and Kate Thomas said: “I have many juggle 5 balls at the same time. He said the new school will be open in September memories of my time at Pwll School. that he has been performing in the circus 2008. He said” I will miss the teachers From Mrs parker’s green stool to the since he was 5 years old. He also could and my friends, I will really miss, Miss tests in year 6. Glan-y-mor is great, I got balance things on his head. He put a Davies who has been with me since I metre stick on his head and kept it lost but it was ok once I got back with the started school”. vertical without it falling. On the last day crowd. The lunch is lush. All the staff are We were taught to make stained glass Ashley brought in his unicycle which is a We have had two day visits to Glanymor really helpful. I am a little nervous but window designs with clay. bike with a seat and just one wheel and in order to meet new friends and get to there is no need to be. Getting on the bus

pedals. He was able to ride this bike and know the teachers. We interviewed Joe is cool and I made loads of new friends

juggle balls at the same time. Peter Rees-Bedington, here’s what he said: “I like Penny and Jodie. CIRCUS CHILDREN JOIN US am excited, happy and a little nervous. balanced on the balancing board in the Thank you everyone who has helped us He said “I will miss my friends and the hall during Friday’s assembly. over the years. From everyone in year 6. Josh Williams and Alfie Hopkin of year 5 teachers, but report on two children who visited our We enjoyed their company and were glad that they came to our school. Lots of us school recently from the American circus . went to see them in the circus and

The boys from the circus were called thought that they were really good. They said that they would be leaving after their Ashley Martinez and Peter Pavlov. They show on Sunday and that they were were from Uncle Sam’s Great American going to Liverpool the next week. Circus. Ashley was from Columbia and

Peter was from Lincolnshire in England although his father was from Bulgaria.

They were here for a week when the circus was in Pwll. They travel around the Sometimes I think the surest sign country and join different schools every that intelligent life exists week. They were both in years 3 and 4 elsewhere in the universe is that when they were with us. Ashley said that none of it has tried to contact us. he has lost count of how many schools he has been to!

GOODBYE MISS DAVIES Christmas concerts and making lanterns THANK YOU MISS NANGLE INTERVIEW WITH MRS COLLINS and many other things. She remembers As we all know this term is the end of Father Christmas coming to school and Bethan Osborne of year 5 interviews an era at our school. Sadly Miss Mrs Collins has been our head teacher giving the children (and the teachers!) a student teacher Miss Nangle. since January this year. We decided to Davies our deputy headteacher is present each. Also she can remember a retiring after many years at our interview her to see how things have been concert when they dressed up as back to school. Recently Emily Williams and going. She said that these last two terms front dolls. have been extremely busy with a lot of Natasha Toal of year 5 spoke to Miss things going on in the school. She has Davies about her memories of her time We can remember when we were in Miss experienced St David’s Day in school for at our school. Davies’ class and she couldn’t find her the first time when she has learned new glasses. We looked everywhere for them. songs. We have launched the PPP (Pwll In the cupboard, in the shop, the toy Miss Davies said that she came to our Playground Project). This is a project about school as a pupil. She said that she was boxes, she even looked in her bag and improving our playground. Lots of the taught by Mrs Evans in the Welsh class desk drawer. The funny thing was she children have got involved and we have had in the infants. The infants and juniors was wearing them! So she put on her lots of jobs. These jobs have included log were separate schools at the time. Miss spare pair and was wearing two pairs at keepers, designers, safety officers, market Lewis was headteacher of the infants and the same time! researchers and others. Market researchers Mr Aubrey was the junior headteacher. have been asking pupils about what they All the other classes have similar stories would like in our playground and how it can At the time there was a toilet block at the to tell about Miss Davies. We know be improved. We have also been bottom of the junior yard and if it rained Miss Nangle with our class on her last day. because we’ve been talking a lot about approaching businesses to see if they can you would get wet. It happened to Miss her recently. Miss Davies you have been help us with our plans and ideas. Davies. She said that when she went a lovely teacher and we will really miss Miss Nangle has been teaching years 5 back up to the infants she got locked out you so much. Please come back and visit and 6 for 7 weeks this term. She is from Mrs Collins also said that the Prince’s trust and one of the cooks let her back in. The because we know the school will not be Dublin in Ireland and is on her final have helped us completely change the school garden. Wooden benches have been children used to have a bottle of milk and the same without you. teaching practice before she hopefully they would often put it by the fire to put in and lots of flowers have been planted. By Emily Williams and Natasha Toal. becomes a teacher. Miss Nangle says warm. It really looks very nice! Mrs Collins is very that she has enjoyed teaching in our keen to start Read, Write, Inc in the school and that the children have been BOBBY BUSTERS QUIZ school. It is a programme to help us with nice and friendly. She particularly our spelling, reading and writing and is a fun The bobby busters quiz took part on the enjoyed the junior visit to Carew Castle, way of learning. Mrs Collins also said that th Pembrokeshire especially when we made 9 of June. Burry Port Junior School held as a head teacher she missed being with bread down the cellar. the children. (By Lewis James and Tilly the quiz in their school and we went there. Our team was an all boy team Miss Nangle likes travelling and meeting Alderman) which included Josh Williams, Josh new people and working with children. Morris, Ieuan Williams & Zayn Ibrahim. She is hoping to teach children in New GOVERNORS THANK MISS We were winning after the first two York. She will be teaching in elementary DAVIES rounds but lost it all at the end to schools. Most of us think that her Irish Pembrey who will now play in the final in accent is really cool. We’ve also enjoyed On behalf of the governors, staff, children the college. All the teams taking part her lessons as they’ve been fun and and parents, past and present, I would like were part of the Glan- Y- Mor family of interesting. She told us about the sport to wish Miss Davies a long and happy

schools, which included Pwll, Pembrey, hurling and we had a game in the yard. Retirement. You will be missed by all. Remember you will always be a most Trimsaran & Burry Port and Parc Y We also had a look at Irish money and Miss Davies has loved working with welcomed visitor to the school. Life is full of Tywyn. We came third out of six teams she spoke Irish to us. children – we all know that because of new beginnings and retirement is one of the the way she has been with us all. She and we would have loved to play in the We hope that Miss Nangle keeps in touch best! Enjoy every moment Miss Davies. said that she has particularly enjoyed all final and win again!!! and we wish her good luck in the future. Llongyfarchiadau a dymuniadau gorau. By Josh Morris and Josh Williams (Year 5) the friendship throughout the school over Congratulations on your Retirement. the years she has been teaching in our (Reporter: Bethan Osborne) school. She has fond memories of many What ever can go wrong will go Anne Messer Chair of Governors

wrong. CAPEL We have discussions on this and that CONFIRMATION LADYBIRDS BETHLEHEM Cover many subjects, or just have a chat There will be a Confirmation in the CHAPEL But whatever it is, at the end of the day The bright scarlet Parish on Sunday 24 November at We feel enriched as we go away. ladybird is a luck- 10.30am in St Mary’s Church, Burry Port. bringer, probably Confirmation classes will begin on Some things we have done to raise some because it is traditionally money Thursday 11 September in the Vicarage. Services are as follows:- associated by its colour We've sold jams and pickles, preserves The children’s group will be from 4-5pm with fire. It is a sign of good fortune if one and the adults group from 7.30-8.30pm. WELSH service at 3.30pm on 1st, 2nd, 4th and honey lands on a person's hand or dress. It They will continue each Thursday and 5th Sunday of every month. Made quilts and crafts and various cards must, however, be allowed to fly away of evening (with the exception of half term) Baked cakes and buns and apple tarts. its own accord, and must not be brushed until 20 November. The groups will look ENGLISH service at 3:30 pm on the 3rd off. It is permissible to speed it onwards at the basis of the Christian faith and are Sunday of every month. We've held concerts - choirs invited to by a gentle puff, and by the recitation of open to everyone. There is no sing the rhyme which runs, CHILDREN'S Sunday School held during In fact, you name it, we've done commitment required to be confirmed at English service EXCEPT in July and everything the end of them and they are open to Ladybird, ladybird, flyaway home. August. For Bethlehem it's all worthwhile people having been confirmed years ago Your house is on fire and your children And done I must say with "enormous that might appreciate a refresher course are gone. Jesus Christ said "let the little children come style". too! to me" and this is also how we feel at Bethlehem. We love our children and try to So now I'm off for a cup of tea MOTHERS UNION SOME OF MY FAVOURITE WORDS nurture them in learning more about Jesus Some biscuits, or maybe, I'll have a through a more modern way of story telling. coffee Mugwump, chubby, dunk and whoa, As Minister I ask that you who read this will But whatever we do, in the end consider bringing your children (no matter Swizzle, doom and snoop, All of us here regard each other as a what age) to our Sunday School – it’s Flummox, lilt and afterglow, friend. always so good to see families in the Gruff, bamboozle, whoop congregation. For more information please (Bernice Lewis) And nincompoop. feel free to ring me - Rev Carys Awen The Pwll Sunday School and Burry Port Jones 01554 771252. Wallow, jungle, lumber, sigh, Out of clutter, find Simplicity. Sunday Club express their sincere thanks Ooze and zodiac, We are fortunate to have a welcoming From discord, find Harmony. to Pwll Mothers’ Union for the fantastic Innuendo, lullabye, sisterhood who meet every TUESDAY In the middle of difficulty lies food that they made for the end of term th morning at 10.30am. Its open to anyone Opportunity. Party on 19 July at the Vicarage. The Ramp and mope and quack who wishes to meet friends/strangers- And paddywhack. Pwll Mothers’ Union will restart for a new please don't feel too shy to come along and programme of events on Monday 1 join them for a coffee/ tea and chat. September 2008 with a Corporate Moony, undone, lush and bole, I was delighted to receive this poem written Communion in Holy Trinity Church at Inkling, tusk, guffaw, by one of our faithful members both in Waspish, croon and cubbyhole, Sunday services and sisterhood, and 19.30. New members and visitors always SPEEDWELL welcome. Further Details from Margaret Fern, fawn, dumbledor having read it I felt it was definitely worth a Among the Welsh peasantry, And many more... place in our chapel article. Howells, Branch Leader on 750025. great virtues are attributed to

the Speedwell. The plant has diaphoretic, alterative, THE SISTERHOOD. diuretic, expectorant and tonic properties, ALUMINIUM CANS CROW

and was formerly employed in pectoral and Holy Trinity Church continues to save One's bad, nephritic complaints, haemorrhages, and On Tuesday mornings of every week diseases of the skin and in the treatment of aluminium cans to raise money for the Two's luck, The company of others we gladly seek wounds. Modern herbalists still consider church funds. Since we started we have Three's health, Our aim is to do some good that an infusion of the dried plant is useful in raised over £800. If you have any we Four's wealth, The name of our little band is - The coughs, catarrh, etc., and is a simple and would be very grateful, please speak to Five's sickness, SISTERHOOD. effective remedy in skin diseases. Elaine Unsted on 750209. Six is death. THE CENTIPEDE PEDESTRIAN v able to row across in about an hour after Marriage is when a man and DRIVER almost capsizing once. A centipede was happy woman become as one; the Seeing what happened to the first two quite, There's a man trying to Until a frog in fun trouble starts when they try to women, the third woman prayed: 'God, decide which one. cross the street. Said, “Pray which leg please give me the strength, the tools comes after which?” As he steps off the curb and the intelligence to cross the river.' a car comes screaming around the This raised her mind to such a pitch, Poof! ... She was turned into a man. He corner and heads straight for him. She lay distracted in a ditch checked the map, hiked one hundred Considering how to run. A WOMANS LOOK IN THE The man walks faster, trying to hurry yards up stream and walked across the (Anon) across the street, but the car changes bridge. MIRROR lanes and is still coming at him. If at first you don't succeed, do it the way Age 3: Looks at herself and sees a So the guy turns around to go back, but your husband told you to!' Queen! the car changes lanes again and is still

Y GYMDEITHAS Age 8: Looks at herself and sees herself coming at him.

as Cinderella/Sleeping Beauty By now, the car is so close and the man TEARS ON Bydd Y Gymdeithas yn ailddechrau am Age 15:Looks at herself and so scared that he just freezes and stops MONDAY dymor yr hydref ar 15 Medi. Cynhelir y sees Fat / Pimples / UGLY in the middle of the road. cyfarfodydd ar nos Lun yn Festri ("Mam I can't go to school The car gets real close, then swerves at Libanus am saith o’r gloch. Mae rhaglen looking like this!") the very last possible moment and stops Two white shirts on the washing line amrywiol yn cael ei threfnu gogyfer â’r Age 20: Looks at herself and next to the man. Were flapping high and drying, When on the clothes peg next to them flwyddyn. Mae’r siaradwyr yn cynnwys sees "too fat/too thin, too The driver rolls down the window. It's a short/too tall, too straight/too A small sock started crying; Lyn Davies, clerc y dref, ac wrth gwrs squirrel. It says, "Not as easy as it looks curly" - but decides she's bydd cinio Nadolig i ddiweddu’r tymor. is it." And as its tears splashed to the ground going anyway. Like rain drops, pitter-patter, Dewch aton ni i fwynhau’r siaradwyr Age 30:Looks at herself and sees "too A shirt said: 'Why the weepies, sock? gwadd ac i gael paned a chlonc mewn Whatever is the matter?' fat/too thin, too short/too tall, too THREE awyrgylch gartrefol. Dyma raglen rhan straight/too curly" - but decides she WOMEN 'I'm sorry,' sniffed the sock, looking gyntaf y tymor. doesn't have time to fix it so she's going From one shirt to the other,

anyway. Three Women 'But how would you feel if the wind 15 Medi – Noson Agoriadol were hiking Had carried off your brother?' 29 Medi – Noson yng nghwmni Lyn Age 40: Looks at herself and sees "too fat/too thin, too short/too tall, too through a forest Davies, clerc y dref straight/too curly" - but says, At least, I'm when they came 13 Hydref – Gwasanaeth Diolchgarwch upon a large raging, violent river. clean" and goes anyway. DID YOU KNOW 3 Tachwedd – Noson yng nghwmni Alun Needing to get to the other side, the first Age 50:Looks at herself and sees "I am" An estimated 18 Lenny, swyddog cyfathrebu woman prayed: 'God, please give me the and goes wherever she wants to go. percent of the world's 24 Tachwedd – Y Nadolig – tamaid i strength to cross the river.' Age 60:Looks at herself and reminds population is prone to aros pryd herself of all the people who can't even Poof! ...God gave her big arms and sleepwalking. While most cases simply 1 Rhagfyr – Cinio Nadolig see themselves in the mirror anymore. strong legs and she was able to swim consist of sitting up in bed, there are a Goes out and conquers the world. across in about 2 hours, having almost number of documented cases of eating, drowned twice. bathing, and even driving and committing

Age 70: Looks at herself & sees wisdom, murder while sleeping. The sleep laughter and ability, goes out and enjoys After witnessing that, the second woman prayed: 'God, please give me strength disorder is more common in people with Kindness is the oil that takes the life. and the tools to cross the river' high levels of stress and anxiety and friction out of life. Age 80: Doesn't bother to look. Just puts among those with a family history of on a purple hat and goes out to have fun Poof! ... God gave her a rowboat and sleepwalking. with the world. strong arms and strong legs and she was THE GARDENING LONGEST GOD CREATED THE Lord, give me the 30 years the mule CLUB RIVERS IN MULE… refused, the 15 years the dog refused, and the 10 years the monkey rejected." WALES " ou will be mule, Here are just a few flower Y And it was so. garden ideas to get you working constantly from his is a list And so God made Man to live 20 years started creating your own T dusk to dawn, carrying of the longest heavy loads on your as a man, then marry and live 30 years beautiful garden. like a mule working and carrying heavy rivers in Wales. Rivers only partly in back. You will eat grass and lack • Consider using flowers and Wales are in italics . intelligence. You will live for 50 years." loads on his back. Then, he is to have plants that grow naturally in the area. children and live 15 years as a dog, River Severn 220 miles In this way, you will not be adding The mule answered, "To live like this for guarding his house and eating the River Wye 135 miles invasive species, the flowers will 50 years is too much. Please, give me no leftovers after they empty the pantry; River Dee 70 miles more than 20." And it was so. then, in his old age, to live 10 years as a grow easily without much River Towy 68 miles monkey, acting like an idiot to amuse his maintenance. River Usk 56 miles Then God created the • grand children. Plant a lot of flowers. This may River Teifi 50 miles dog, and told him, "You seem like a simple flower garden will hold vigilance over River Taff 40 miles idea, but all too often someone will the dwellings of Man, to Life is too short to worry about life plant just a smattering of flowers. whom you will be his being too short. Think of how much more beautiful a greatest companion. You garden can be when the flowers are will eat his table scraps There's a fine line between fishing in abundance! and live for 25 years." IRISH WEDDING CUSTOM • and just standing on the shore like Plant a mix of both perennials an idiot. And the dog responded, "Lord, to live 25 and annuals. Perennials are great years as a dog like that is too much. Magic Hanky. This custom involves because they will come back year Please, no more than 10 years." And it having the bride carry a special hanky after year, and each year there will was so. that with a few stitches can be turned into be more and more. But there are SPEED a christening bonnet for the first baby. certain annuals that are just too God then created the With a couple of snips it can be turned CAMERA beautiful to not include in your monkey, and told back into a hanky that your child can garden! HOTSPOTS him, "You are carry on his/her wedding day. monkey. You shall • Intersperse garden statues and The Country’s top 100 speed cameras swing from tree to other garden decor all about your dished out a million penalty points tree, acting like an APACHE WEDDING flowers. between them last year, with the most idiot. You will be PRAYER flash happy nabbing a speeding driver funny, and you shall live for 20 years." While having a plan is a good place to every two minutes. Now you will feel no rain, And the monkey responded, "Lord, to live start -- tall flowers in back, short ones in For each of you will be shelter These 100 cameras raised more than 20 years as the clown of the world is too front, etc. -- it can also be amazingly fun to the other. £18 million in the past twelve months much. Please, Lord, give me no more to plant your flowers at random, then Now you will feel no cold, from 312,995 fixed penalty notices - that's than 10 years." And it was so. waiting to see what you get. just shy of one million penalty points For each of you will be warmth to the

added to drivers' licences. Finally, God created Man and told him, other. "You are Man, the only Now there is no more loneliness,

The top speed camera hotspots in UK rational being that walks For each of you will be companion to the are: the earth. You will use other. Friends are those rare people your intelligence to have Now you are two bodies, who ask how we are . . . then 1 Wiltshire 42,417 mastery over the But there is only one life before you. wait to hear the answer. creatures of the world. Go now to your dwelling place 2 Essex 35,859 You will dominate the earth and live for To enter into the days of your 3 South Wales 35,213 20 years." togetherness Don't cry because it's over . . . 4 Leicestershire 32,549 And may your days be good and long smile because it happened. 5 Greater And the man responded, "Lord, to be upon the earth. Manchester 29,805 Man for only 20 years is too little. Please, LINE I WISH I HADN’T SAID THAT! 2012 – 4 YEARS TO GO DRINKING POEM DANCING • There’s nothing wrong with Maya people were masters of The horse and mule live thirty years A big thank pregnancy. Half the people mathematics and And never know of wine and beers. you to everyone wouldn’t be here today if it wasn’t calendars and they The goat and sheep at twenty die who sponsored for women being pregnant. – were keeping track Without a taste of scotch or rye. the Pwll Line Dancers. Recently a fund Sarah Kennedy of time using three The cow drinks water by the ton raising event was held at Cross Hands. • Reports that say that something separate calendars. And at eighteen is mostly done. The evening included line dancing, hasn’t happened are always For predictions The dog at fifteen cashes in auction, raffle and buffet. Together with interesting to me, because as we about the beginning Without the aid of rum or gin. members from Pembrey and Kidwelly we know, there are known knowns; and end of the The modest, sober, bone-dry hen raised £1765 for the Macmillan Cancer there are things we know we “world” they used Lays eggs for noggs and dies at ten. Support Group. It was a very successful know. We also know there are “Long Count” calendar. And on But sinful, ginful, rum-soaked men evening. known unknowns; that is to say December 21st 2012, the Long Count will Survive three-score years and ten. we know there are some things be at the point zero which Maya predicts And some of us, though mighty few Also a big thank you to John our we do not know. But there are as the end of time and beginning of the Stay pickled 'til we're ninety-two. instructor and Disc Jockey. Diolch yn also unknown unknowns — the new world. The Mayas were very ~ Charles Duffy fawr iawn. ones we don’t know we don’t accurate in their predictions and they Line dancing at Pwll C.P. School every know.– United States Secretary predicted invasions on their soil and the Monday 6:30 – 8:00pm. All welcome. of Defense Donald Rumsfeld. World Wars. Never make a decision you can

2012 is expected to be year of great get someone else to make. • I want the Nobel Peace Prize positive change. It is not the end of the Men are like fish. and I’m going to fight for it. — world! Back in 1899 something was Neither would get in trouble if Ronaldinho identified called Schumann Cavity WHAT SOME they kept their mouths shut. Resonance. It is the heartbeat or • KIDS WRITE For God’s sake, go down to frequency of the Earth. Since its reception and get rid of the discovery till 1986 this heart beat There are three lunatic there. He says he’s got a frequency was constant 7.8 Hertz per kinds of blood machine for seeing by wireless. second. From 1986 it started to rise vessels, arteries, vanes and caterpillars. Watch him- he may have a razor dramatically and in 1998 it was reported LETTER TO THE on him.– Editor of Daily Express to be 10 hertz per second. On the other Artificial insemination is when the farmer about Logi Baird 1925. does it to the cow and not the bull EDITOR hand magnetics of the earth are dropping dramatically and it is expected they will When you breathe you inspire. When • Mark my words, in 50 years reach zero point in 2012. Maya calendar you do not breathe you expire. (That’s Many thanks once again there’ll be one of these in every and other calendars end in 2012, but it is true). for the recent copy of The Bônau city in the US. –The American not the end of the world just beginning of Heredity means that if your grandfather Cabbage Patch. Brilliant as ever! “The Senator who saw a telephone in the new one since every 26000 years didn't have any children, then your father Bricklayers Report” was a classic. the 1920’s. Earth goes through a grand cycle of probably wouldn't have any, and neither

Thank you once again. evolution. • would you, probably Mrs VB Who the hell wants to have a St. Malachy, (d. 1148) Irish Bishop and The amount of education you have Swiss Valley, Llanelli computer in their own home ? — Seer, produced an accurate list of future Ken Olsen President Digital determines your loot in life.... (Wrong !) popes, which began with Pope Celestine Equipment 1977 II in the year 1143. The prophecy is Last year many lives were caused by

concerned with the succession of the accidents. (True). Popes and there will be one more Pope You cannot push anyone up the Ancient Egypt was inhabited by after the current Pope Benedict XVI ladder unless he is willing to I like cats, too. Let's mummies and they all wrote in according to the prophecies of St. climb himself. exchange recipes. hydraulics. Malachy.

ORIGIN OF GOLF Pwyll would make amends by taking his SWEDEN BICYCLES place for a year, and fighting one of his In 2006, the Chinese neighbours. Pwyll agreed to this, and it Sweden has the In 1839 Kirkpatrick claimed to have invented was arranged that Arawn would look after least number of Macmillan made the golf, citing as evidence while Pwyll was away. Before they murders annually. first bicycle in four thirteenth century Scotland, but the parted, Arawn used his magical powers There is a hotel in Sweden built entirely paintings. Professor Cui idea did not catch on until the 1860s, to swap their appearances so that no one out of ice; it is rebuilt every year. Lequan also asserted that the rules for would know of the substitution. when bikes made by Michaux in Paris the Chinese sport of ‘Hitball’, written in Sweden has the lowest birth rate (1 in were imported into Britain. By the 1890s In Annwvyn, Pwyll marvelled that no one 1282, differed little from those drawn up 100). bicycles were everywhere, and inventors saw through his disguise, not even the at St Andrews in 1754. The Scots remain were falling over themselves trying to Queen. Although she was the fairest Until 1965, driving in Sweden was done utterly unconvinced. improve them. In the late 1830s, when woman that Pwyll had met, when it came on the left-hand side of the road. The Queen Victoria had just come to the time to sleep, he did not touch or speak conversion was done on a weekday at throne, about 500 patents were applied to her throughout the night. By day there 5:00 p.m. This was supposed to prevent for each year. Sixty years later, as her was friendly affection between them, but people from waking up in the morning reign drew to a close, this had increased DID YOU KNOW each night Pwyll was as chaste as on the and forgetting which side of the road to drive on. to 25,000 every year. The first electronic mail, (e-mail), was first. sent in 1972 by Ray Tomlinson. It was Pwyll's time in Annwvyn passed in also his idea to use the @ sign to hunting and other pursuits, but eventually HOW DO YOU PLEAD If you can't be a good example separate the name of the user from the the time came to fight Havgan, Arawn's MR COCKCHAFER? you'll just have to be a horrible name of the computer. fractious neighbour. They met in the warning. middle of a ford, and Pwyll felled him with In 1889, Kansas undertaker Almon B. During the Middle Ages, Strowger wanted to prevent telephone one mighty blow. As Havgan lay dying, pest control was quite rare, operators from advising his rivals of the he reproached Pwyll, asking him to at and people had no death of local citizens. So he invented the least complete his work with a death effective means to protect automatic exchange. stroke. Pwyll knew that this was a trick - HOW TO CATCH A UNICORN Arawn had warned him that Havgan their harvest from the

would gain magical strength at a second Cockchafer. The Cockchafer or May Bug Long, long ago a fable blow - and so he refused. In this way, as it is commonly called has a ferocious was told that although Pwyll was victorious and united all of appetite and in large enough numbers the Unicorn was PWYLL – PRINCE OF DYFED Annwvyn under his kingship. can destroy large areas of crops. This impossible to hunt gave rise to events that seem bizarre down, it was so At the year's end, Pwyll and Arawn met Pwyll was out hunting from a modern perspective. impressed by the as they had agreed, and Arawn changed in the woods one day, presence of a lovely them back to their original forms. They In 1320, for instance, cockchafers were when he came upon a virgin that it would run bade each other farewell, and rode back brought to court in Avignon and stag being attacked by up to her and submissively lay its head in to their own realms, eager to see how the sentenced to withdraw within three days a pack of strange- her lap. Marco Polo's editor Colonel Yule year had passed. On returning to his onto a specially designated area, looking dogs with snow- affirms that the Unicorn was supposed to kingdom, Arawn noticed that the Queen otherwise they would be outlawed. white hair and red ears. be attracted not by the lady's beauty or seemed very surprised when he made Pwyll drove them off Subsequently, since they failed to chastity, but by the perfumes of her love to her. He asked her about this, and and set his own hounds on to the stag, comply, they were collected and killed. dress. Legend has it that it is impossible she said that it was unexpected, since he but then another hunter rode up, the to catch a Unicorn by force. The only way hadn't touched her for the last year. "I owner of the red-eared pack. He was to capture one is for a maiden to wait have a firm friend in Pwyll," Arawn angry that Pwyll had driven his dogs off alone where Unicorns are known to thought, as he explained the substitution and taken his rightful quarry. Pwyll Those who bring sunshine to the frequent. When the Unicorn sees the to the Queen. Likewise, Pwyll found that apologised, and asked if he could offer lives of others cannot keep it for maiden, it will run up and lay its head in his country had benefited greatly from any compensation for his discourtesy. themselves. her lap - at which point the hunters hiding Arawn's rule. Thereafter Pwyll was known The hunter introduced himself as Arawn, nearby can easily capture it. as the Chief of Annwvyn. a King from Annwvyn, and he asked if

LANCASTER It is known that there are 17 largely I’VE LEARNED... Ichthyologists have known for a long time BOMBER FLYPAST complete Lancasters remaining in the that this isn't true, and in 2003 Dr Phil Gee, world but only two are still airworthy – I've learned that no n July 12 th this of the School of Psychology at the O The City of Lincoln operated by The matter what happens, University of Plymouth, published research, year, the residents of Battle of Britain Memorial Flight and one or how bad it seems which blew it out of the water. Fish have a Pwll were treated to operated by The Canadian Warplane today, life does go on, and it will be better memory span of at least three months, and a rare and wonderful sight when a Heritage Museum which is known as tomorrow. I've learned that you can tell a can distinguish between different shapes, Lancaster Bomber flew low over the “Mynarski Memorial Lancaster”. lot about a person by the way they colours and sounds. village on its way to perform a flypast handles these three things: a rainy day, In the Plymouth experiments, goldfish were during Kidwelly’s Carnival. Lancaster Mark III - Specifications: lost luggage, and tangled Christmas tree trained to press a lever to gain a food lights. At about 3:20 on the Saturday afternoon reward; when the lever was fixed to work a drone could be heard in the eastern sky Crew: 1 pilot and up to 6 crew I've learned that regardless of your only for an hour a day, the fish soon learned as the Avro Lancaster bomber Power: 4 x 1620 hp Rolls - relationship with your parents, you'll miss to activate it at the correct time. A number approached the village. It flew low over Royce Merlin Engines them when they're gone from your life. of studies have shown that farmed fish can the houses towards Burry Port where it Max Speed: 272 mph I've learned that making a 'living' is not easily be trained to feed at particular times banked to the left and flew over the Cruising Speed: 200 mph the same thing as making a 'life.' I've and places, in response to an audible estuary towards the Gower before Service Ceiling: 24,700 ft learned that life sometimes gives you a signal. banking again and then heading towards Range: 2,530 miles second chance. Kidwelly to make the first of four flypasts. Span: 102 ft Length: 69 ft 6 inches I've learned that you shouldn't go through At Kidwelly the Lancaster named “City of Height: 20 ft life just being a doormat. You need to be PWLL Lincoln” made four low flypasts before Armaments: 8 x .303 inch machine able to throw something back. I've commencing its journey homeward, again learned that whenever I decide NEIGHBOURHOOD guns in nose, dorsal POLICING TEAM passing low over the village before and tail turrets plus one something with an open heart, I usually disappearing in the eastern sky as it 22,000 lb bomb or up make the right decision. I've learned that The priorities of the team: made its way home to its base at RAF to 18,000 lbs of smaller even when I have pains, I don't have to Coningsby, Lincolnshire. bombs. be one. 1. Anti-social motorbike riding in the Maengwynne area D I've learned that every day you should uring World War II the Lancaster was 2. Speeding in Pentrepoeth Road (The Lancasters used by the Dambusters and reach out and touch someone. People the most successful bomber used by the specified above were a special variant of the and Denham Avenue love a warm hug, or just a friendly pat on Royal Air Force and the Royal Canadian standard Lancaster specially modified by Lancaster 3. Anti-social behaviour and Air Force. The Lancaster had speed, designer Roy Chadwick to accommodate the special the back. I've learned that I still have a lot Upkeep weapon developed by Barnes Wallis). criminal damage in Pwll Pavilion ceiling, and lifting power that no other to learn. I've learned that people will aircraft of the day could match. Weighing forget what you said, people will They hold regular meetings in the Pwll 35,240 pounds empty, the Lancaster was forget what you did, but people will never Pavilion so that the public can meet them capable of taking off with an additional forget how you made them feel. My wife ran off with my best and discuss their problems and concerns. 33,100 pounds of fuel and bombs; in (Wise words submitted by Pat Lewis) friend last week. other words it could almost carry its own The next meeting has been arranged for Oh! I miss him! Friday 26 th September. weight again.

The Lancaster carried 64% of the As we went to press the dates of the GOLDFISH MEMORY October and November meetings had not tonnage dropped by the RAF and RCAF during the war. The "Grand Slam" - a been arranged. Keep your ears and eyes VALUE OF PI eeping a fish in a small 22,000lb special purpose bomb designed K open for these dates closer to the time. bowl is clearly an act of to penetrate concrete and explode below PI = 3.14159 26535 89793 monstrous cruelty, and so a The meetings start at 7 pm and are open the surface to create an earthquake 23846 26433 83279 50288 myth has arisen which allows to everyone. No appointment is effect - could only be delivered by the 41971 69399 37510 58209 pet owners to feel less guilty: that fish - in necessary. Lancaster, and the Lancaster was thus 74944 59230 78164 06286 20899 86280 most versions, specifically goldfish - can't chosen for special operations such as the 34825 34211 70679 82148 08651 32823 remember anything which happened more "Dambusters" raid and the attack that than a few seconds ago, and therefore Earth is full. Go home. sank the German Battleship Tirpitz. never get bored with their tiny homes.

REMEMBRANCE WE WILL REMEMBER THEM BÔNAU HUMOUR Something a train-spotter would have in

SUNDAY his pocket: "A magnifying glass." th – 9 November They shall not grow old as we who are Family Fortune Something you put out for the birds: left grow old. Answers: "Worms." Remembrance Sunday Age shall not weary them, nor the years is the day traditionally put condemn. A way to prevent snoring: "Put a pillow At the going down of the sun and in the Something you lose over his face." aside to remember all those who have morning, when you get older: "Your purse." given their lives for the peace and A word used to describe a very hot day: freedom we enjoy today. On this day, We will remember them. A sport that involves throwing something: "A very hot day." people across the nation pause to reflect "Tennis." A song from 'The Sound Of Music': on the sacrifices made by our brave Service men and women. Something you would play with in the "Dancing Queen." For your tomorrow we gave bath: "A bazooka." The National Service of Remembrance at our today. Someone who works early hours: "A the Cenotaph in Whitehall is a unique Someone you wouldn't swear in front of: burglar." "Yourself." expression of national homage devoted Something made to be wheeled around: to the remembrance of those who have A country where Arabic is spoken: "A hammer." given their lives in war. It was originally "Nigeria." A reason for kneeling: "To be beheaded." conceived as a commemoration of the THE VILLAGE I LOVE Someone or something whose existence war dead of the First World War but after By Kay Pascoe (for her mother) A nickname for a slim person: "Slimmy." has never been proven: "Hitler." the Second World War the scope of the A measurement of liquid: "Paint." ceremony was extended to focus on the Why I love Pwll? “Let me count the A number you might have to memorise: nation's dead of both World Wars, and in ways”. "Seven." Something that's nice to wear next to 1980 it was widened once again to your skin: "Pants." Something that makes you close your extend the remembrance to all who have I love the hills which join the bottom to eyes: "Dark." A famous Dick: "Carrot." suffered and died in conflict in the service the top, of their country and all those who mourn The quirky intersecting lanes between. Something that comes in pairs: "Rabbits." A wild animal that's native to Britain: "A bear." them. The woods with gloomy lowering trees, A way of toasting someone: "Over a fire." The Graig so starkly brown or ferny The service at the Cenotaph is framed to Something that Father Christmas does green. A Boy's name beginning with the letter J: ensure that no-one is forgotten. The when he comes to your house: "Feeds I love the sea, wild, dangerous and "Gerald." wreath laid by The Queen and the other your pets." wrinkled, tributes placed on the Cenotaph are An instrument you can play while walking The jagged rocks, ancient, hard and cold. Something that comes in 7's: "Fingers." dedicated to all who have suffered or in the street: "A cello." The village viewed from rattling noisy A vocalist known by only one name: died in war. Members of the Cabinet, A type of oil: "Sewing-machine oil." train, "Michael Jackson." Opposition Party leaders, former Prime Seems carved in strata primitive and old. A word beginning with Z: "Xylophone." Ministers and certain other Ministers and A yellow fruit: "Orange." Fond memories of childhood are vivid in the Mayor of London are invited to attend A slang word for a girl: "Slag." my mind, An animal beginning with B: "Bullfrog." the ceremony, along with representatives Though passing years take unrelenting An animal with horns: "A bee." of the Armed Forces, Merchant Air and Something associated with Liverpool: toll. Navy and Fishing Fleets, and members A medieval weapon: "Hand-grenade." "The Yellow Brick Road." Most of all I love the people that I know, of faith communities. High Still there, some gone, yet deep-locked in Something made of wool: "A sheep." A boy mentioned in a nursery rhyme: Commissioners from Commonwealth my soul. "Little Red Riding Hood." countries also attend the ceremony and Something a bridegroom might wear: "A (© Kay Pascoe ) lay wreaths at the Cenotaph. dress." Something associated with Queen

Victoria: "Her husbands." Someone you wouldn't expect to see in a

strip club: "Animals." Something you hide in your socks when The G reatest Gift God gave us Think like a man of action, act you go swimming: "Your legs." is 'Remembrance' like a man of thought! An animal with a long tail: "A rabbit." A place you would keep a pen: "A zoo."

The Bônau Cabbage Patch is published and issued by The Pwll Action Committee. The editors are: Peter Kent (53 Pwll Road - 755260) & Jeff Williams (81 Pwll Road - 777420). Please submit your reports, articles etc to either editor or any other committee member. Hand written reports are OK – we’ll type them up for you. Please ensure you include your name, address and telephone number so we can contact you just in case we need clarification or we can’t read your writing! You can also contact the magazine by e-mail at: [email protected]. Copyright exists on all articles and photographs published in this magazine. Closing date for submissions of articles, reports etc for the Christmas edition is 25 th Oct 2008 - amended adverts by 20 th Oct 2008. Any views and opinions expressed in this magazine are not necessarily the views and opinions of The Pwll Action Committee.