Rewriting the Single Woman’s Narrative in Two Original Scripts: A Professional Problem

by

Page Petrucka, M.A., B.S.

A Dissertation

In

FINE ARTS (THEATRE)

Submitted to the Graduate Faculty of Texas Tech University in Partial Fulfillment of the Requirements for the Degree of

DOCTOR OF PHILOSOPHY

Dr. Norman A. Bert Chairperson of the Committee

Dr. Linda Donahue

Dr. Bill Gelber

Dr. Allison P. Boye

Dr. Michael Stoune

Mark Sheridan Dean of the Graduate School

December, 2014

Copyright 2014, Page Petrucka

Texas Tech University, Page Petrucka, December 2014

ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

I wish to give a special thank you to Dr. Norman Bert, the chairperson of my committee. His tutelage and mentorship have been unwavering, and his support has been invaluable. He taught me how to be a playwright, and I am forever in his debt.

I would also like to thank the members of my dissertation committee, Dr. Linda

Donahue, Dr. Bill Gelber, Dr. Allison Boye, Dr. Michael Stoune. Each member has aided me on my journey through this doctoral program. I am thankful for the opportunity to have worked with such dedicated individuals.

I am grateful to the amazing cast and crew of Blood is Thicker Than Roswell,

Kristen Rogers, Lori Uebelhart, Andria Baisley, and Jared Strange. This play was made possible because of their dedication, support, and friendship.

And finally, I wish to thank my parents Paul and Marbeth Petrucka, siblings, in- laws, nieces, nephews, Holly Bradford, and Sondi Mitchell, whose encouragement, support, and love made all of this possible.

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TABLE OF CONTENTS

ACKNOWLEDGMENTS ...... ii

ABSTRACT ...... iv

LIST OF FIGURES ...... v

I. AN INTRODUCTION TO THE NARRATIVE ...... 1

II. THE SIGNIFICANCE OF NARRATIVE ...... 12

III. WRITING THE NARRATIVE ...... 36

IV. PRODUCING THE NARRATIVE ...... 58

V. EVALUATING THE NARRATIVE ...... 80

WORKS CITED ...... 94

APPENDICIES

A. THE CALENDAR ...... 97

B. BLOOD IS THICKER THAN ROSWELL ...... 189

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ABSTRACT

In certain therapeutic practices, it is believed that sharing narratives or life stories with those who will listen is vital to the development of a healthy sense of being.

However, the societal held belief of individuals or groups often overrides real and truthful narratives. And once societal beliefs are formed, changing these perceptions can be a difficult endeavor.

So it is with single women. They have long been written about and perceived by society as “less than,” bitter, angry, sad, immoral, or even too perfect or saintly.

However, as a single woman, these are not the narratives I have experienced in my own life.

This study is one that examines single women in contemporary stage works. I question the narratives present-day playwrights are perpetuating in regards to single women. I also compare these narratives to those that existed in the first half of the 1900s.

My findings illustrate that in some cases, literary single women today have not outgrown their 1940s counterparts.

Therefore, in an effort to establish a more favorable and accurate view of single women, I have written two plays with single female protagonists. The Calendar and

Blood is Thicker Than Roswell both incorporate some of my experiences as a single woman. And both present modern, strong, single women I recognize, relate to, and understand.

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LIST OF FIGURES

Figure A, Front of Advertising Postcard ...... 61

Figure B, Back of Advertising Postcard ...... 61

Figure C, Advertisement in Festival Program ...... 67

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CHAPTER I

AN INTRODUCTION TO THE NARRATIVE

A few years ago, as a requirement for one of my doctoral courses, I was asked to read The Glass Menagerie (1944) by Tennessee Williams. It had been years since I first read the play, but during this particular reading, I was (and consequently still am) a single, middle-aged woman attending graduate school. In a speech offered by the character of Amanda, I was reminded of what the general worldview of single women was during that time period. She says:

I know so well what becomes of unmarried women… I’ve seen such pitiful cases in the South – barely tolerated spinsters living upon the grudging patronage of sister’s husband or brother’s wife! – stuck away in some little mousetrap of a room – encouraged by one in-law to visit another – little birdlike women without any nest – eating the crust of humility all their life! (16)

It was this particular reading of this particular play that opened my mind. The more I thought about it, the more I realized I had heard similar negative connotations throughout my own life. I started examining single female characters in plays and found that

Williams wasn’t the only playwright to offer such a bleak outlook for single women. In her play The Old Maid (1934), playwright Zoe Akins offers a description of just such an old maid. The play’s protagonist is Charlotte, an unmarried, middle-aged woman. Akins describes her in the stage directions:

Charlotte, looking much more than fourteen years older, has passed into a different generation; wearing a severely plain dress, she sits near the fire, knitting. Her hair, now gray, is drawn tightly back from her colorless face in which even her once fine eyes and bright lips have grown indistinct; and she is the typical old maid in appearance as well as manner; harsh, and inclined to be tyrannical. (121)

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Indeed, these sketches, and the many more like them, would make any young woman fearful of the taboo associated with being single.

It is these descriptions of single women and the desire to find out how they are represented in theatre today that have led me to this professional playwriting problem.

The focus, then, is both to evaluate and also to contribute to the current status of single female characters in contemporary playwriting practices. Being both single and a playwright, I have a particular vested interest in these characters and their portrayal in plays. Just who are these single women? How have they been represented over the years?

How have they changed, particularly since the feminist movement of the 1970s and beyond? Are the single women we see depicted on stage today accurate portrayals of contemporary single women? As I seek answers to these questions, it is also my desire to add my own contributions to single female characters through my two plays The

Calendar and Blood is Thicker Than Roswell.

As feminist literary criticism emerged in the 1970s, the movement sought to alter the general worldview of women, regardless of ethnicity, sexual preference, or age. It also shed light on the way women were represented in literature. With respect to the theatre, this criticism evaluated “…women’s status on stage – in the stories productions told…” (Dolan xiv). This evaluation was necessary because according to feminist Jill

Dolan, “…theatre’s contents, forms, and structures both reflect and shape women’s lives ideologically and politically” (xiv). The hope, then, was that future stories told from the stage would help to “…bring female emotional reality into the theatre” (Chinoy 174).

Women of different races, ethnicities and sexual orientation began to gain notable recognition as they shared their “emotional reality” with audiences, and as they did this,

2 Texas Tech University, Page Petrucka, December 2014 their stories “…affirmed for women the truth of their inner lives and gave them a sense of the validity of their perceptions” (Chinoy 174). But how did single women fare, in the wake of feminist criticism?

Single women today are not the bitter spinsters, old maids, or cranky librarians of the literary past. However, perhaps in part because “Single women… lack a feminist social movement or identity politics specifically related to singleness” (Reynolds 61), these standby stereotypes still make frequent appearances in contemporary plays. Jill

Reynolds, author of the book The Single Woman, explains: “The importance for a woman of finding and keeping a man is extremely well embedded in western culture.” Married and divorced by the time she turned twenty-five, Reynolds unexpectedly found herself single again. She continues:

I was not unhappy, and I had a strong network of friends and an active social life. Yet it seemed to me that the kind of experiences that I and other single friends had were not well represented in the media and that there was little public awareness or understanding of the lives of single women. (4)

Reynolds makes two powerful observations in this statement. She tells readers that the media (theatre included) does not accurately represent single women, nor does the general public truly understand who they are.

I have often found this to be the case in my own life. Many around me, including my own family members, don’t completely know how to relate to me as a single woman.

Add to this the religious pressures I experience as a member of The Church of Jesus

Christ of Latter Day Saints. I was raised on the motto “Family First” and was groomed from a young age to become a wife and mother. This was not only an expectation, but a commandment as well. To better clarify this concept, the following quote was written and

3 Texas Tech University, Page Petrucka, December 2014 published in 1995 by the LDS church’s first presidency, entitled “The Family: A

Proclamation to the World.”

The first commandment that God gave to Adam and Eve pertained to their potential for parenthood as husband and wife. We declare that God’s commandment for His children to multiply and replenish the earth remains in force. We further declare that God has commanded that the sacred powers of procreation are to be employed only between man and woman, lawfully wedded as husband and wife.

Faithful members of the church are to stay morally clean, marry a suitable spouse, and bear and raise children. As the years passed and I watched siblings and friends find suitable companions, I realized that my own life was shaping up to be very different from the one I always imagined I would have. But unlike what my playwriting predecessors wrote, I didn’t see myself as a “barely tolerated” individual, nor did I frequently exhibit

“harsh” or “tyrannical” behavior. My life is full and exciting. I have traveled to exotic places, pursued greater educational opportunities, and am continually in pursuit of crafting my theatrical skills. Despite the fact that I remain unmarried, I do not consider myself an old maid or a spinster.

The definition of the word “single” is ever changing and can be inclusive or exclusive, depending on the parameters one wishes to adapt. Indeed, women may be in long-term relationships without participation in official civil unions legalizing the partnership. In that sense, they can technically still be considered single. There is also a question on whether or not to include in the single category widowed or divorced women, with or without children, who were married at some point, but are currently unattached.

Additionally, women who are in same-sex relationships but are not married, either because of legality or choice, may also take issue with the label of “single.” Age is also a consideration for inclusion in this socially defined group. The twenty-one year old

4 Texas Tech University, Page Petrucka, December 2014 unattached woman may not carry with her the same stigma that a forty-year old unattached woman does. Taking all this into account and in an attempt to include as many women as possible, I wish to define single women as those who are in their thirties and beyond, with or without children, who may have been in previous long-term relationships, but are currently not in long-term, sexual relationships, whether by choice or by circumstance.

Single women appear now to be more prevalent than in years past, and the number continues to climb. As reported on July 31, 2012 on the United States Census

Bureau website, 44.1% of the population in the United States is single, with 53% being women 18 and older (United States). Furthermore, the “…number of one-person households in the USA has increased so that there are now more of these than there are households of married couples with children…” (Reynolds 8). We are a group that is growing, a group that is continually in flux, and a group that continues to be represented in the media, at times with prejudice, and at times with accuracy.

Some may say that today there exists more awareness, recognition, and understanding of single women, and perhaps this is true in certain genres of media. Often, when I discuss this topic with acquaintances, many remind me of the great television characters who paved the way for single women everywhere, especially in the 1970s.

They refer to Rhoda, Mary Richards (Mary Tyler Moore), and Laverne and Shirley.

These were all women who had jobs, supported themselves, but were for the most part without long-term partners or companions. In film, we saw many of these characters as well. In the 1980s, we saw strong, independent women, some with children, some without, experiencing life without attachment. Some of these movie characters include

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Ripley in the Alien franchise, Sarah Connor in the first two Terminator films, and CC

Bloom in Beaches. These were characters that exhibited strength and charisma, pushed past fear, and got exactly what they wanted. None fit the stereotype often associated with single women.

During the 1980s, several playwrights wrote single female characters without the assumed stereotypes. Wendy Wasserstein and Beth Henley are two playwrights who come to mind. Both frequently wrote strong female characters, sometimes with relatable narratives, sometimes not, sometimes good, sometimes questionable, but never bitter spinsters or old maids. Incidentally, both playwrights won Tony Awards and Pulitzer

Prizes for their plays. Two more examples of strong, single women can be found in the play Steel Magnolias by Robert Harling. Two older women, both widowed, are best friends, and show singleness in a fresh, comedic light.

Personally, I view Wendy Wasserstein’s character of Heidi in The Heidi

Chronicles as the quintessential example of a contemporary single woman. She is self- sufficient and well educated. She experiences the ups and downs of life, lives true to her own beliefs, and by the end of the play, finds her own happiness without ever having married. For her, this includes adopting a baby, which actually mirrors Wasserstein’s own choice to adopt a child while remaining single. This is not to say that Heidi’s story is without conflict. As a feminist, Heidi faces much opposition, especially from Scoop, her on-again, off-again love interest. In regards to Heidi’s feminist position, he says to her,

“…that’s why you ‘quality time’ girls are going to be one generation of disappointed women. Interesting, exemplary, even sexy, but basically unhappy. The ones who open doors usually are” (Wasserstein 39). Heidi wonders if the feminist movement will ever

6 Texas Tech University, Page Petrucka, December 2014 bring about the kind of fulfillment women are seeking. She realizes that she may not see the change in her own lifetime, but states, “I hope our daughters never feel like us”

(Wasserstein 24). Heidi continues: “And maybe, just maybe, things will be a little better”

(Wasserstein 74). This narrative is a refreshing view of single women, and in relation to my own experiences as a single woman, one of the most accurate I have seen portrayed in theatre.

With these Pulitzer Prize winning plays and playwrights and the recognition they garnished, society seemed primed to welcome the new narrative of single women.

Dramatic conflict could be based on different character traits, different plots, and different thought than had been written previously. However, in the decades that followed

The Heidi Chronicles, in some cases, single female characters appear to have reverted to their pre-feminist images. Why, then, do some playwrights continually write single women as Williams and Akins did?

Another question to consider is why should this narrative even be in question?

Isn’t it true that these characters are fictional, not real people? Then again, isn’t art a reflection of life? Should there be a greater consideration by playwrights to write these single female characters with greater accuracy and greater “emotional reality?”

Author Gabrielle Schwab believes there is a connection between the arts and the development of identity. She writes:

Each of the arts uses its own materials—sounds, colors, images, words— in order to generate feelings and sensations that affect a recipient’s conscious and unconscious perception and thought. And each uses its particular arsenal of conventions in order to experiment with the boundaries of form and its capacity to alter perception. It is therefore no coincidence that literature and the arts in their widest sense may play a pivotal role in affecting a person’s sense of self or, respectively, a

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culture’s particular use of feelings, sensations, consciousness and form. (Schwab 166)

From this statement, we can surmise that it is possible that the arts, even the stories we tell, may play a part in both individual and cultural identity. Author Samantha Vice agrees with Schwab’s assessment. Says Vice, “… it is literature that characteristically provides us with the … stories by which we so often do explore life and ourselves and when we do compare ourselves to narrative, it is to such stories that we typically turn”

(Vice 99). In essence, not only does literature offer narratives for us to compare ourselves to, but it can also be the building blocks that we use to form our identities. This becomes a problem when the thought, or the narrative, shared from the stage is false or inaccurate, because then the misconceptions spread from playwright to director to actor to audience, and continue to prevail in our society. In his book Narrative Therapy, Stephen Madigan explains this phenomenon:

A knowledge practice viewed as truth within a cultural discourse sets standards for the specifications of the individual, around which the individual shapes his or her life. Once an individual becomes integrated into society’s discourse, certain cultural truths are assumed and privileged, thereby restraining the construction and acceptance of alternatives. (47)

In other words, we believe what we hear. If the narratives around us are saying single women are bitter, angry, sad, and lonely, that is what we may potentially believe of ourselves. As Madigan explains, once the paradigms have been established, it is difficult to break out of them and re-construct new narratives.

While changing these paradigms may be difficult, it is not impossible, and I believe it is a worthwhile endeavor, which is why I have chosen to utilize my role as a playwright to seek to change single women’s narratives in contemporary playwriting practices. In the next chapter, I will be discussing more research associated with the

8 Texas Tech University, Page Petrucka, December 2014 narrative self and its impact on the development of identity. Scholars Stephen Madigan,

Jill Reynolds, James A. Holstein, Jaber F. Gubrium, Michael White, and David Epston have written about these findings at length. I will cite their research and extrapolate the link between narrative and identity. Additionally, it is necessary to include a look at single woman characters contained in plays written since Wendy Wasserstein’s The Heidi

Chronicles. The three plays I reference are vastly different and have been selected based on the award-winning status of both play and playwright. I want to investigate what change, if any, has taken place in the single women’s narrative over the past thirty years.

The first play to be examined was written in 1996 by Irish playwright Martin McDonagh and is entitled The Beauty Queen of Leenane . In it, we see the ultimate bitter spinster,

Maureen. She is nasty and vicious, and she will go to any lengths to be with the man she loves. The play won multiple awards on both sides of the Atlantic.

Moving into the twenty-first century, the second play to be addressed is August:

Osage County, written in 2008 by playwright and actor Tracy Letts. This play was also a multiple award winner and has recently been made into a film starring Meryl Streep and

Julia Roberts. Two of the single female characters are sisters, one is engaged and the other is dating someone secretly. However, their narrative tells single women that we don’t have the luxury of being picky if we want lifetime companionship. The final play,

Rapture Blister Burn by Gina Gionfriddo, was a 2013 Pulitzer Prize nominee and finalist.

I chose this play due to its frequent comparison to The Heidi Chronicles by critics. In this play, a single woman and a married woman both have regrets about the paths their lives have taken, and in a strange twist of events, they switch places. The end result is a surprising and unfortunate narrative for single women.

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Chapter III offers a detailed account of the playwriting process I underwent to write The Calendar and Blood is Thicker Than Roswell, two plays that I believe incorporate honest and emotionally realistic portrayals of single women. My first play,

The Calendar, is partially autobiographical, detailing many of my own accounts with dating and searching for a potential spouse. It speaks to the suggestions frequently made to single people by self-help books and well-meaning friends and family members intended to help singles join the ranks of the married. I have heard all of these suggestions over and over again through the years. Look, don’t look, join a health club, join a dating web site, volunteer in the community, go to a dance. None of these suggestions have ever born fruit for me. Instead, I have found my happiness elsewhere. In almost a response to these common misconceptions, I wanted my protagonist Kate to have experiences similar to my own. They are comical, heartbreaking, heartwarming, and true. I also wanted to show the full, interesting life that can be led and the growth that can be achieved without spouse or offspring.

My second play, Blood is Thicker Than Roswell, chronicles three sisters, all single. These characters are conglomerations of single women I have met and known over the years. The three sisters depict distinct stages of singleness. The eldest has never married but has lived her life exactly as she wanted to. The middle sister married young, had four children, and is now divorced. Her children and her sisters are her main focus now. The youngest sister has chosen career over marriage but is finally at a point where she is ready to have both career and spouse. Their story centers around belief, life, death, and family ties. The play seeks to portray a family unit defined without significant others, and it shows the strength that can be found through the bonds of sisterhood.

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Chapter IV chronicles the production process for Blood is Thicker Than Roswell.

It was first performed abroad at the 2012 Prague Fringe Festival in the Czech Republic.

Six months after production, the play won the Texas Educational Theatre Association’s

(TETA) playwriting award for 2013, and it was performed again in Houston, Texas during TETA’s annual conference. One of the roles had to be recast, and other changes needed to be made to accommodate participation in the conference. Additionally, the cast and I participated in a talk back session with the TETA audience members, which proved to be both an insightful and rewarding experience.

In the final chapter, I use the same judging criteria introduced in Chapter II to evaluate the characters of my own creation. This allows me to evaluate my own effectiveness in changing the narrative of single women. In addition, I address how these narratives could be strengthened or improved in future rewrites. It is my hope that the stories I create offer examples of the “emotional reality” I have experienced as a single woman. As audiences see my plays, I hope they are able to gain a greater understanding of what it means to be single. I hope, as Dr. Reynolds states, that audiences are able to see single women not as stereotypes and “…not fixed by category membership, rather

[as] variable, dynamic and mobile” (150).

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CHAPTER II

THE SIGNIFICANCE OF NARRATIVE

Recently I learned the term “self-narrative” from a colleague of mine at Texas

Tech University. What he shared with me was insightful and thought provoking. He stated that we all have stories, or narratives, that delineate who we are and elucidate the paths we have taken in life. This concept in and of itself was nothing new to me, but the follow up thought he offered was; it is our responsibility to own our narratives and not hide from them.

As I thought about this in relation to theatre, I realized that all of the plays I write share a little piece of myself with the world. My protagonists are often strong, independent, single females, whose experiences reflect many of my own. And while the characters are fictitious, their stories help to express the narrative I have come to know as a single woman. Because of my writing, I am afforded the opportunity to both own my narrative and share it with audiences who read and see my plays. Interestingly, my characters and their experiences are in direct opposition to many of the single female characters seen on stage today.

As I have studied the self-narrative in relation to therapy and psychology, I’ve discovered a few suppositions that serve as the basis to narrative therapy, which is by definition “…the notion that problems are created in social, cultural, and political contexts… that often serve to obstruct and marginalize the very lives of those whom therapists purport to treat” (Madigan xii). One supposition is that the practice of storying our lives can offer meaning and understanding to an individual or group. Another supposition is that often, the existing, dominant narrative held by society is in contrast

12 Texas Tech University, Page Petrucka, December 2014 with actuality, and may have a negative impact on the development of self. A third supposition is the understanding that the only way to break the cycle of the harmful narrative is to re-story.

These suppositions can also be applied to single female characters in playwriting.

In this chapter, I explain these ideas in greater detail and discuss their significance. I also discuss the role of the playwright with regards to the presentation of emotional reality.

And finally, I analyze the narratives of female characters in four separate plays that span a thirty-year time frame. The purpose of the analysis is two-fold: to highlight the existing written narrative and to see what changes, if any, have occurred for single women in plays since the 1940s.

The first supposition in self-narrative therapy is the notion that we all have stories to tell, no matter how grand, small, interesting or mundane. These stories, however, are uniquely ours. It’s necessary to own and share our narratives because “… in order to make sense of our lives and to express ourselves, experience must be ‘storied,’” (White

10). Our stories can offer clarity, afford understanding, teach lessons, or provide entertainment to those who will listen. It is not surprising, then, that the practice of storying is essentially “…constructing [our] identity in the telling…” (Reynolds 75).

Michael White and David Epston, pioneers in the self-narrative vein of therapy, agree with this line of thinking. In their book Narrative Means to Therapeutic Ends, they state:

If we accept that persons organize and give meaning to their experiences through the storying of experience, and that in the performance of these stories they express selected aspects of their lived experience, then it follows that these stories are constitutive – shaping lives and relationships… (White 12)

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Stories give meaning to experiences when they are performed, or shared, and therefore, they have the power to give shape to the lives of both those who tell and those who listen.

The second supposition is in relation not to our own individual stories, but to those narratives society tells about us, which may or may not be correct. These are referred to as “dominant narratives” (White 14). It is these dominant narratives that permeate society, and often are in contradiction with our own lived experiences (White

15). I can attest to this, because it is precisely how I felt as I read Amanda’s speech in

The Glass Menagerie, referenced on the first page of Chapter I. Williams implies that spinsters, or unmarried women, live off of the begrudging help of relatives because they are unable to fend for themselves. They have no home of their own, no income, and no proper place in society. Williams first published this play in 1945. It is safe to assume that this was a possible societal view of single women in the mid 1900s. But to verify this claim, we need only to look four years later at a statement made by Simone de Beauvoir in her book The Second Sex (1949): “A woman alone… is a socially incomplete being, even if she earns her living; she needs a ring on her finger to achieve the total dignity of a person and her full rights” (444).

Societal views, or dominant narratives, do have an impact when it comes to the development of identity and social acceptance. We believe what we hear, if we hear it loud enough and long enough. In their book The Self We Live By, James Holstein and

Jaber Gubrium discuss the link between society and self. They explain, “Self and identity are not something ‘given’ in some psychological sense, but they are ‘bestowed in acts of social recognition. We become that as which we are addressed’” (Holstein 51). We really

14 Texas Tech University, Page Petrucka, December 2014 do care about what others think of us and how they view us. Thus, dominant narratives affect the way we see ourselves, and therefore the way we story our lives.

Dominant narratives can be a benefit or detriment in the development of self.

Society may have great things to say about a person or a group of people. However,

“…when society turns against the individual, when social reflections are disparaging, if not damning, the implications for identity can be disastrous” (Holstein 55). Holstein and

Gubrium utilize the common term “labeling” to describe the phenomenon.

When people consistently negatively label an individual… the label becomes the category by which the person is known. Through ongoing interaction, the individual comes to accept the identity and label, seeing himself or herself through others’ associated eyes. Such individuals come to see themselves in the negative terms society assigns to them, and they develop the consequent self-concepts and negative self-feelings. (Holstein 53)

When a woman who is single repeatedly sees herself represented as a spinster, old maid, or any one of the various stereotypes that reflect the “dominant cultural context,”

(Madigan 30), this skewed narrative may become the lens through which she views the rest of her life. This is what she comes to believe of herself, and her actual lived experiences are then “restrained and pushed back” (Madigan 30), overtaken by the dominant narrative.

The solution, then, is the third supposition posed by the theorists of narrative therapy. We must “re-story.” As we make a conscious effort to reconstruct certain narratives, in my case the narratives of single women, we can then begin to re-shape outcomes or end results, breaking away from the negative stereotypes that have dominated our culture. In therapy practices, this means working to explore other outcomes rather than those deemed appropriate by society.

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As we story ourselves, those stories provide the moral horizons for evaluating who and what we’ve become… it provides us with worlds and identities of our own making, the narrative particulars of which are as limitless as our imaginations. (Holstein 231)

Jill Reynolds agrees with this summation, specifically in regards to single women. She, however, believes single women themselves need to work to change the rhetoric.

…women who are on their own have to do rhetorical work in presenting their self-narrative in order to deal with a dominant cultural storyline of marital and family relationships that leads progressively to a valued end- point. (Reynolds 95)

In doing this, we break from the perpetual cycle of the sad, bitter, single woman to one who has much to offer, who leads a full life, who has a career, a home, friends, and adventure. This process of re-storying brings into focus the truth of what so many of us have come to know and experience as single women. As Reynolds explains,

“…identification of such variations in framing can encourage the listener or reader to

‘begin to question dominant frames’ and allow for the possibility of other stories to be told” (Reynolds 95).

But do we truly have the power to change the way society views a particular group of people? Dr. Madigan explains the conundrum:

The answer to this question … may depend on who is telling this story, from what set of ethical beliefs they are telling the story from, and with what authority they are telling it. The conclusion is often our realization that not all stories told are equal. (Madigan 31)

It is Madigan’s belief that attention must be given to who is speaking and with what authority he or she is speaking it. We must also acknowledge that the person telling the story may or may not have shared ethical beliefs with the target audience, and therefore is not an authority on the matter.

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The above thought begs the question, what responsibility do playwrights hold when it comes to authentic, emotionally realistic representations of an individual or group? Playwright and screenwriter Theresa Rebeck reminds us, “Who owns the stories, owns the culture” (Rebeck). After all, it is the written word that is carried from generation to generation, and it is the written word that offers a glimpse into culture, period, and sociality. In the theatre, it is playwrights who hold that power. “The theatre artist who selects which aspect of life to reflect from the stage has always been the playwright” (Craig 3). Sam Smiley, in his book Playwriting: The Structure of Action, explains, “The ideas in a drama, the meanings derived, proceed from thoughts… If a play’s ideas begin in a playwright’s mind and successfully end in an audience’s, the trajectory of thought necessarily occurs in the play” (151). Smiley makes no mention of authority or ethical beliefs, only the sharing of thoughts and ideas which first begin in the playwright’s mind and transfer to audience members. However, there is no way to control what messages audiences walk away with, for they bring to every production their own set of ideas, experiences, prejudices, and values. Likewise, audiences rarely know anything of the playwright’s beliefs or worldview. They know only what is presented before them on stage. They see the “…perspective, the point of view, the tone, that the author brings to [the play]” (Longman 26).

If I am to acknowledge and accept the line of thinking as explained in the previous paragraphs, then I must also accept that it is my responsibility as a playwright and a single woman to change the narrative. I can speak with authority, because I myself am a single woman. I must re-story single women in order to provide audiences with a more accurate narrative than is commonly presented on stage. This is precisely the reason

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I have written, and will continue to write plays with single female protagonists. As

Reynolds states, doing so gives “… voice to women’s experience[s], and frame[s] more positive accounts of the richness and variety of single lives” (4).

By way of review, the three suppositions that have been discussed up to this point are first, we story our lives in order to give meaning to our lives and develop our identities. Second, the existing dominant societal narratives that relate to us may clash with the truths we have come to know. And third, we have the power to combat the dominant culture context through re-storying. In the theatre, those that hold that power are the playwrights.

These considerations are critical when analyzing single female characters in contemporary playwriting practices. If who we are is bestowed on us by society, and society is telling us we are bitter, sad, or second rate when “compared to married people”

(Reynolds 153), then it is possible we may begin to feel this way about ourselves. Indeed it is difficult to defend ourselves from this pervading influence when society is continually barraging us with negative images, literature, social media, and cultural discourse.

There are many examples of stage plays with narratives that demonstrate singleness is something to be avoided rather than embraced. In her book Women Pulitzer

Playwrights, author Carolyn Casey Craig comments on the narrative many previous

Pulitzer Prize winning plays reiterated. She states:

The idea that, for women, almost any marriage is better than none has enjoyed a very long run in American drama… [M]arriage represents the lesser of two evils was to become one of the most pervasive themes in prize-winning American plays. In drama as in life… marriage is usually… the pivotal event in a woman’s life. (Craig 6)

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As previously discussed, Zoe Akins’ The Old Maid won the Pulitzer Prize in 1935. The play’s protagonist Charlotte is an old maid incarnate, and is described by her own daughter, Tina, as “…a sour old maid who hates me because I’m young – and attractive – and alive; while she’s old and hideous and dried up – and has never known anything about love” (153). Another example comes from Pulitzer Prize winning playwright Zona

Gale. Her play Miss Lulu Bett (1920) originally had the protagonist remaining single throughout the play. But due to letters of complaint from audiences, she rewrote the ending, because seeing Miss Lulu “get her man” (Craig 32) was looked upon much more favorably than the sad, lonely life of the single woman.

The above examples give voice to some of the common narratives and “dominant frames” of single female characters in plays. Helen Krich Chinoy, in her book Women in

American Theatre, reveals more of these common, clichéd traits:

According to a study of Pulitzer Prize plays up to the 1940s, a woman was conceived as someone whose sole motivation in life is the search for romantic love; she is emotional rather than rational in her deliberations, rarely works at a job, almost never becomes a successful career person, is physically passive and is either totally selfless or sinfully selfish. (xiv)

This was the standard for female characters prior to the 1940s. While this quote doesn’t specify that the women are single, it does state that the women’s motivation is to find love. We can extrapolate that the inference to searching for romantic love means the search for companionship. And if the search is successful, the women are able to leave the unsavory label of “single” behind, in favor of the more socially accepted label of

“married.”

These characteristics are said to be common among female characters prior to the

1940s, yet I have discovered that they still exist today in contemporary plays, seventy

19 Texas Tech University, Page Petrucka, December 2014 years later, and forty years after the seeds of feminism took root. In order to illustrate my discovery, I will be utilizing the following set of questions adapted from the previous quote as a rubric for examining single female characters in the plays I have mentioned in

Chapter 1: The Heidi Chronicles, The Beauty Queen of Leenane, August: Osage County, and Rapture, Blister, Burn.

1. Is the character’s sole motivation to find romantic love? 2. Is she more emotional than rational? 3. Does she have little in the way of career aspirations? 4. Is she either totally selfless or sinfully selfish?

In the final chapter, I will be asking these questions of the characters in my own plays, in order to determine if I have successfully broken the dominant societal frame in an attempt to allow new stories to be told.

Playwright Wendy Wasserstein’s The Heidi Chronicles was produced in 1988. It originally ran Off Broadway, but then moved to the Broadway stage in 1989. The play won both the Tony Award and Pulitzer Prize that year, along with several other notable awards. As I have stated previously, I believe the play’s protagonist, Heidi, to be the quintessential single female character for the modern world. Interestingly, Wasserstein discussed why she began writing female characters in the manner she did. She states,

“You know, I think the whole idea of women ‘vixens’ and femme fatales would be a masculine idea… because it ‘ain’t so.’ And so the truth of the matter had not been written” (Craig 189). In her estimation, women had been written with such inaccuracy that she felt it necessary to step in and write the truth. Though Heidi’s character wasn’t totally autobiographical, she did embrace some of the qualities and values held by

Wasserstein.

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Following the above line of questions, first we must determine if Heidi’s sole motivation is to find romantic love. While Heidi does see a man on and off for years, she admits he is stringing her along and she should just move on. Says Heidi, “He’s a creep.

But he’s a charismatic creep… When I need him, he’s aloof. But if I decide to get better and leave him, he’s unbelievably attentive… But you see … the problem isn’t really him.

The problem is me. I could make a better choice” (23). As Heidi continues, she expresses what she is working for as a member of the feminist movement. She says,

But I keep allowing this guy to account for so much of what I think of myself. I allow him to make me feel valuable. And the bottom line is I know that’s wrong. I would tell any friend of mine that’s wrong. You either shave your legs or you don’t... I hope our daughters never feel like us. (23)

It is in that last sentence that we learn Heidi’s true motivation. Her hope is that the feminist work she is doing will make the world a better place for future generations of women, and that these women will feel more worthwhile than she did. That is Heidi’s hope for the future, her sole motivation. Not the search for romantic love.

I believe the above quote can also be used to answer the second question of the rubric; is the character more emotional than rational? Heidi, in a moment of brutal honesty, explains that she understands all too well how poorly she is treated by her love interest. She allows him to validate how she feels about herself. She recognizes that if things are ever going to be different, she needs to be the one to make the change. She does move on and away from him. It is that decision, to “make a better choice,” that proves she is not driven by emotion. Instead, it demonstrates clear, rational thinking.

In regards to her career aspirations, Heidi is a college professor who teaches art history. She chooses this career path because, as she states, “I’m interested in the

21 Texas Tech University, Page Petrucka, December 2014 individual expression of the human soul” (15). We learn the driving force behind her choice to become an art historian in a speech she makes on the steps of the Chicago Art

Institute. To passersby, Heidi exclaims:

This museum is publicly funded by our tax dollars. “Our” means both men and women. The weekly attendance at this institution is sixty percent female. The painting and appreciation classes are seventy percent female. Yet this “great” cultural center recognizes and displays only two female artists. And its current offering, The Age of Napoleon, includes not one female artist. (25)

Throughout the play, Heidi teaches about little known, talented female artists, and participates in several demonstrations, because she believes in the equal treatment of women. Her character is not passive, nor does she have little in the way of aspirations.

She is successful, career oriented, and driven.

As to the final question, Heidi does not appear to be one extreme or another. She is neither totally selfless nor sinfully selfish, but instead exhibits moments of both. One moment of selfishness occurs when her dear friend Peter confides in her that he is gay.

Her response in return is to hit him in the arm and say “And that’s for not being desperately and hopelessly in love with me” (30). This comment, while a joke between

Heidi and Peter, also expresses a hint of bitterness. I can say this with complete confidence, due to the fact that I share this experience with Heidi. I know of the bitterness and selfishness that emerges when this information is revealed by a loved one, and the hope of companionship with this individual is shattered. In direct opposition, Heidi’s selflessness strikes a chord when, at the play’s end, she adopts a baby girl. When asked if she is happy, Heidi responds, “Well, I have a daughter. And I’ve never been particularly maternal. I’m not real practiced at sharing. But, there’s a chance… And she’ll never think she’s worthless … And maybe, just maybe, things will be a little better” (74).

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These examples, when juxtaposed with the character analysis rubric, reveal why I believe Wasserstein was absolutely on the right track to re-storying the dominant framing of single women. As previously mentioned, two additional playwrights who achieved success in re-framing single women include Beth Henley (The Miss Firecracker Contest) and Robert Harling (Steel Magnolias). Their characters showed single women as more than stereotypes. However, as strides were being made in changing the narrative, some playwrights continued to write the exhausted narrative of old maids and bitter spinsters as seen in the early twentieth century. It is important to note, however, that these stereotypical characters are not limited to works by American Playwrights. Irish playwright Martin McDonagh’s The Beauty Queen of Leenane presents audiences with one of the most bitter, evil, insane single women ever to step on stage, demonstrating that the existing dominant narrative regarding single women can be found in other countries and cultures as well.

The Beauty Queen of Leenane was published in 1996. It opened in Ireland and after touring the country for a few months, transferred to London’s West End. That year, it received an Olivier nomination for best play. Two years later, it moved to New York where it received six Tony Award nominations and garnered four wins. The play also won the Drama Desk Award for outstanding play and multiple other awards in recognition of both the play and the playwright. The nominations and awards are proof that the play was considered a success in both Europe and the United States. Referred to as a “gothic dark comedy” (McDonagh cover), this play is the story of Maureen, a lonely, angry woman left to care for her nagging mother after both of her sisters married and moved away. Her life is anything but happy.

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As we begin with Maureen’s sole motivation, we learn quickly that it is undoubtedly romantic love. Several of her statements reveal her position on companionship. She expresses that this life, with her mother monopolizing all of her time and energy, was not the life she thought she would have. She has been unable to pursue any kind of romantic relationship because of her responsibilities. In her forty years, she’s only ever kissed two men. Both her resentment of the situation and her desire to find romance comes to light in an argument with Mag, her mother. She says:

Sometimes I dream … Of anything. Other than this… I have a dream sometimes there of you, dressed all nice and white, in your coffin there, and me all in black looking in on you, and a fella beside me there, comforting me, the smell of aftershave off him, his arm around me waist. And the fella asks me then if I’ll be going for a drink with him at his place after… I say ‘Aye, what’s stopping me now? (McDonagh 17)

It seems as though this is what she has always wanted, both to be rid of her mother and to find companionship. The constant care she is required to provide for her mother is keeping her from settling down with anyone. But still, she hopes and dreams of a life free from her mother. Another example of this is in a dark exchange between mother and daughter.

MAG The fella up and murdered the poor oul woman in Dublin and he didn’t even know her. The news that story was on … That’s a fella it would be better to avoid outright.

MAUREEN Sure, that sounds exactly the type of fella I would like to meet, and then bring him home to meet you, if he likes murdering oul women.

MAG That’s not a nice thing to say, Maureen.

MAUREEN Is it not, now?

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MAG Sure why would he be coming all this way out from Dublin? He’d just be going out of his way.

MAUREEN For the pleasure of me company he’d come. Killing you, it’d just be a bonus for him.

MAG Killing you I bet he first would be.

MAUREEN I could live with that so long as I was sure he’d be clobbering you soon after. If he clobbered you with a big axe or something and took your oul head off and spat in your neck, I wouldn’t mind at all, going first. Oh no, I’d enjoy it … (9-10)

For the next question, we do not need to look very hard to determine that Maureen is driven by her emotions and her poor mental state rather than rational thinking. She confesses that anyone else living with her mother would be driven mad, and admits to spending a month in an institution when she was twenty-five: the result of a nervous breakdown. But perhaps the clearest example of her emotional state is the scene in which she learns of a letter from a love interest that her mother intercepted and destroyed. In her anger, she pours boiling hot oil over her mother’s already withered hand, clearly the result of previous torture. None of this behavior typifies rational thinking.

As to the third question, we know little of Maureen’s career aspirations, other than a reference to a stint in her twenties when she cleaned offices in England. She hated the work. Then, as her sisters were either married or getting married, she moved back home to Ireland. She was the only daughter unattached, and therefore the responsibility of being her mother’s caregiver fell on her shoulders. That became her work. She exclaims to her mother, “… I’ve had to be on beck and call for you every day for the past twenty year” (16). For Maureen, there was no time in her life for anything else.

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Finally, as to the question of Maureen being totally selfless or sinfully selfish, consider the final events of the play. Maureen has been invited to move to America with

Pato, a love interest. Word of this comes in the form of a letter, which is intercepted and destroyed by Mag before Maureen is able to read it. However, Mag slips up and accidentally reveals a few of the details of the letter. She stops talking until Maureen tortures her, forcing Mag to tell her everything. As Mag is screaming in pain, Maureen runs around the house fretting about what she should wear to meet Pato. She realizes this is her chance to marry, and rushes off to find him. Unfortunately, she is too late. In the next scene, we see the results of Maureen’s second breakdown. She rambles on about meeting up with Pato and agreeing to join him in America. This, of course, is completely fabricated. Her mother’s body falls from the rocking chair to the floor with obvious damage to the skull. Maureen, fire poker in hand, looms over the lifeless body. A sinfully selfish act, all because she was unable to finally be with the man she loves.

From this analysis, we can conclude that Maureen’s narrative resembles those found in Pulitzer Prize winning dramas prior to the 1940s. This single woman is driven by the dream of romantic love. She is overly emotional, has no career aspirations, and kills her mother to be rid of her.

Our next analysis of single female characters takes us into the twenty-first century. In 2007, Tracy Letts’s play August: Osage County premiered on Broadway after a short run at the Steppenwolf Theatre Company in Chicago. It was nominated for several

Tony Awards in 2008, and won for Best Play, Outstanding Actress and Best Director.

Additional awards that year included the Drama Desk, Outer Critics Circle, Drama

League, and New York Drama Critics’ Circle Award for Best/Outstanding Play. In

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December 2013, a movie adaptation of the play was released in theatres, starring Meryl

Streep and Julia Roberts (both nominated for Oscars, Streep for Best Actress and Roberts for Best Supporting Actress). The play has been praised by critics and audiences alike, and is now considered one of America’s great contemporary dramas.

In this play, the single female characters play supporting roles to the rest of the cast. Indeed, their plights are not at the heart of the story. But when viewed through the lens of identifying dominant societal frames, we can see that Letts, like McDonagh, does little to re-story the narratives of single women. Instead, he too falls into the convenient trap of the worn out, overused narrative. For this comparative analysis, I will be referencing the characters of Ivy and Karen, sisters and daughters to Violet, the story’s protagonist. Ivy is secretly seeing someone and Karen is engaged to be married.

Ivy is the middle of three daughters. She is quiet, unassuming, and the only remaining daughter still living close to home. It is not known whether her sole motivation is to find romantic love, however, we do learn that she hasn’t had much success with dating due to the limited number of available and/or quality men in Osage County. Karen, however, confesses freely that she spent too many years wishing and dreaming of finding romantic love. She says:

I think I spent so much of my early life thinking about what’s to come, y’know, who would I marry, would he be a lawyer or a football player, would he be dark-haired and good-looking and broad-shouldered. I spent a lot of time in that bedroom upstairs pretending my pillow was my husband and I’d ask him about his day at work and what was happening at the office, and did he like the dinner I made for him and where we were going to vacation that winter… and things work out differently than you’d planned. And you punish yourself, tell yourself it’s your fault you can’t find a good one… How had I screwed it up, where’d I go wrong, and before you know it you can’t move forward… because you can’t stop thinking backward. I mean, you know… years! Years of punishment and self-loathing. (59)

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Karen is sharing a 1950s version of a stay at home wife who cooks and cleans for her husband and tends to his every need. When she was young, she believed in and wished for that particular vision to come true. But she is also explaining what happens when those dreams don’t come to fruition and the bitterness that emerged in her own life the longer she remained single. This monologue is a very familiar, outdated narrative of women, their dreams, and the end result when those dreams are not fulfilled.

Next to analyze is the second question of the rubric: can either of these two women be considered more emotional than rational, like their single female predecessors in plays prior to the 1940s? Beginning first with Ivy, we learn quickly that she is the sole daughter living near her parents’ home. She is quiet, unassuming, and harangued constantly by her mother. Violet frequently speaks about Ivy’s singleness, how she needs to dress better or wear her hair differently in order to find a man. But she is secretly seeing someone: her first cousin. With the taboo and stigma associated with dating family relations, it seems that this act of dating her first cousin is one driven not by rational thinking, but emotions, and perhaps even loneliness. Says Ivy, “I have lived in this town, year in and year out, hoping against hope someone would come into my life” (130). No one did. It was then that she realized she was in love with her cousin. In a wild turn of events, Ivy learns that her love interest is actually her half brother, and not her first cousin. Initially, she is shocked to learn this. But in another decision made not rationally but emotionally, she still chooses to be with him.

Karen, on the other hand, appears at first glance to think rationally. She discusses a prior love interest who treated her badly, and who she made the decision to walk out on.

She claims that she came to the realization that “…I don’t need anything else, I can live

28 Texas Tech University, Page Petrucka, December 2014 my life with myself” (60). It was then that she finally found Steve, her fiancé. She reiterates the old adage “…you only really find it when you’re not looking for it” (60).

Later in the play, Steve is found with Karen’s fourteen-year old niece Jean, and the two are groping each other and smoking marijuana in the dark. While most rational single women I know would leave this man in a heartbeat, Karen makes excuses for his behavior, tries to place partial blame on the niece, and still insists on marrying him, and then going on a honeymoon. Her final words in the play are “ Come January… I’ll be in

Belize. Doesn’t that sound nice?” (121). These lines demonstrate Karen’s unfortunate lack of self worth, proving that for her, it’s better to be married to a self righteous abuser than to remain single.

Next in our analysis is the question of career aspirations. We know almost nothing about Ivy’s employment situation, only that she does have her own place, which implies that she has some sort of income. Also, when she makes her plans known that she intends to run away with her cousin/brother, she states that she’ll figure something out once they are away from Osage County. She does not provide details on her career of choice, but is able to support herself, which is a good thing because her cousin/brother is unemployed and utterly unable to hold down even the most menial of jobs.

Karen explains that she threw herself into getting her real estate license when she was in the midst of learning to live with herself. She seemed successful, because she says that she “…sold a lot of houses” (60), which is how she met Steve. She is overly impressed by Steve’s career but overinflates his own importance. She tells everyone that

Steve had a very important meeting that he willingly cancelled in order to attend her father’s funeral with her. I have to wonder if once they are married, will Karen continue

29 Texas Tech University, Page Petrucka, December 2014 in the career path she threw herself into, or will she, as soon as she is able, dump it in order to embrace the 1950s wife and mother image she described in the earlier quoted monologue?

After all is said and done, after all the irrational, emotional choices and desperate searches for romantic love are made by these two, can either one be considered either totally selfless or sinfully selfish? While this final consideration may not be as blatantly obvious as it was for the character of Maureen, in the end, both can be considered sinfully selfish. As previously explained, Ivy eventually learns from her mother that her cousin and love interest is actually her brother. She responds, “Why did you tell me? Why in

God’s name did you tell me this?” (134). It’s clear from that statement that she would much rather have not known the truth. When her family pleads with her to break it off, she refuses to. She responds, “I won’t let you change my story,” (134) and leaves. In certain cultures, such a relationship is considered illegal. From a religious perspective, sibling incest is a moral sin. And, psychiatric theorists believe that incest between a brother and sister may result in a slew of emotional and physical issues. “Its occurrence has been associated with many harmful effects including… depression and sexual problems” (Bass 87). Yet Ivy chooses to maintain this relationship, regardless of the familial, societal, physical and emotional issues that such a relationship has proven to have. Karen, too, exhibits selfish behavior when she learns what her fiancé has done with

Jean. She says to her angry family members, “You better find out from Jean just exactly what went on in there before you start pointing fingers... ‘Cause I doubt Jean’s exactly blameless in all this” (121). It raises the question: is she that desperate to finally be

30 Texas Tech University, Page Petrucka, December 2014 married that she can excuse away an adult male’s inappropriate behavior with a fourteen- year old girl?

What kind of message or narrative do these characters leave with audiences, when it comes to single women? One is that we must be willing to throw away any amount of dignity or self-respect in order to not be alone anymore. Another is that after a certain age, there are no better romantic choices out there for us other than our own family members or child molesters. Bottom line, the narrative Letts has written for single women is jarring, frustrating, and insulting.

The concluding play in this analysis of single women and their narratives is one written by playwright Gina Gionfriddo. Gionfriddo has achieved success as both a playwright and screenwriter, writing for the immensely popular series Law and Order, and currently for the Netflix series House of Cards. As a playwright, her work has won several awards including the Obie Award and the Susan Blackburn Prize. Her most recent play Rapture, Blister, Burn earned a Pulitzer Prize nomination in 2013 for Best Drama.

Some critics have noted the similarity between this play and The Heidi Chronicles.

Gionfriddo states in response to the comparison:

I did not set out to rewrite “Heidi” or to talk back to “Heidi,” but no one is ever going to believe that. Both plays depict a female academic just over 40 with a successful career as an author. Both women, Wasserstein’s Heidi and my Cathy, regard their personal lives as lacking (neither has a romantic partner or children) and find themselves re-examining the feminist movement to sort out how they could have come so far and still wound up unsatisfied. (Gionfriddo, Times)

I include this quote here because Gionfriddo herself recognizes that there may be merit to the comparisons made between the two protagonists. However, I feel it necessary to point out that I do not believe Heidi found her life “lacking” because she didn’t marry. This can

31 Texas Tech University, Page Petrucka, December 2014 be supported by a comment she makes to Scoop. “I mean, why should some well- educated woman waste her life making you and your children tuna fish sandwiches?”

(17). Heidi dates, she looks, but she doesn’t settle. Cathy, however, does.

Rapture, Blister, Burn is the story of two friends who chose different life paths years ago, and are now regretting their choices. Catherine remained single and became an academic, professor, and writer, while Gwen married Catherine’s ex-boyfriend Don and became a wife and mother. The play begins as the two meet up again and through a series of events, decide to switch places in order to live out their unfulfilled dreams.

The character of Catherine is an interesting one to say the least. When put under the microscope for examination, it appears she is an anomaly. Her past self is in direct opposition with her present self. For example, when we examine her sole motivation, years ago it was to become an academic. However, she is now regretting those decisions:

“I don’t think a person should be alone to face the things you have to face between middle-age and death. And I don’t think friends are enough… I think that’s what romantic love is for” (97). In her desire to embrace romantic love, she resumes her relationship with Don, a lazy, former college professor now turned dean with no ambition or motivation to do any more work than he is required to do. Knowing these things about him, she tells her friend Gwen “I want this” (91). The forty-year old Catherine wants romantic love, and is willing to give up her apartment in New York, her money, whatever it takes, in order to have it.

To the question of Catherine being more emotional than rational, we need again to revisit Catherine’s past. Twenty years ago, Catherine was overseas studying and Don asked her to come home, presumably so that their relationship could progress. Catherine

32 Texas Tech University, Page Petrucka, December 2014 said no, because to her, it was more important to finish the work she was doing. This exemplified the behavior of a person, perhaps even a selfish person, more driven by reason than emotion. But at the play’s end, when Don wishes to go back to his wife,

Catherine responds, “I want a flawed, tired marriage to cushion my falls. I am ready and willing to embrace mediocrity and ambivalence, you’re just not letting me” (131).

Before, she was unwilling to give into the emotional pull of marriage. Now, after twenty years of being alone, she is groveling to take Gwen’s leftovers.

Regarding the question of career aspirations, as has previously been stated,

Catherine is, and has always been, career oriented. There is no question that she had clear career aspirations, and is now reaping the rewards of her success. Her friend Gwen said of her, “The notion that a woman can only find fulfillment as a wife and mother? That happens to be true for me. But it’s not true for Catherine… all women do not fit one mold” (34). However, Gionfriddo spends the majority of the play hinting that now, twenty years later, Catherine regrets her decisions, yet she doesn’t come right out and say it. An example of this is in an exchange between Catherine and her student Avery.

AVERY You cannot tell me that your achievements are not a way better destiny than, like, potty training and cutting crusts off bread.

CATHERINE I can tell you that I’m not sure… My mother is going to die soon and I find myself wondering if there isn’t some… wisdom in the natural order. In creating a new family to replace the one you lose. (35)

While Catherine’s actions do not support the notion that she plans to sacrifice her career for marriage, they do demonstrate that she questions the choices she made. Catherine admits that if she stays with Don, she will have to take a step back in the relationship. She tells Avery, “Maybe men aren’t hard-wired to follow women” (47). Don admits that he

33 Texas Tech University, Page Petrucka, December 2014 wouldn’t have married her years ago: “You work harder and you’re a couple IQ points smarter. I wouldn’t have stuck around for that” (75). Even with this insight into Don,

Catherine is still willing to trade lives with her friend, take on the responsibility of raising

Gwen and Don’s young child, and accept Don regardless of his lazy, misogynistic attitude towards their relationship.

Moving on to the final question of the rubric, Catherine’s desperate desire for companionship seems to push her into the category of totally selfless, as is demonstrated in the last two scenes of the play. Gwen regrets leaving Don and her family. Don also is unhappy with the arrangement. They discuss their situation, and as a result, decide to reunite. Don tells Catherine he is leaving her to go back to Gwen and instead of becoming angry with Don, Catherine tries to accept all the blame. She tells Don, “I think this is my fault… I’m a pusher… I will never push you to do anything ever again…”

(128). She continues to try to fight for the relationship and offers concession after concession. Still, in the end, Don leaves. Catherine is broken, sad, and lost. In the play’s final scene, she admits to Avery, “I don’t want to be alone with myself after this” (136).

She doesn’t accept that she is better off without Don, even with Avery telling her she is.

“Don was worthy” (132) she says, and she believes it. Catherine’s selfless attitude made her willing to change a great many things about herself in order to have the companionship she lacked for so many years. The message then seems to be that we can either be successful and alone or mediocre and married, but we can’t have both. Because, says Catherine, “… my middle-aged observation is that… In a relationship between two people, you can’t both go first” (46).

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While some may believe that these plays, along with many others not cited, are works of fiction and should have little bearing on the development of self and identity, psychologists and theorists believe otherwise, especially when the characters represent a certain group of individuals or echo wide-spread social norms. Madigan reminds us:

…texts of literary merit encourage (in the reader) a dramatic reengagement with many of their own experiences of life. It is within this dramatic reengagement that the gaps in the story line are filled, and the person lives the story by taking it over as his or her own. (35)

This can be particularly dangerous when the story line, or dominant framing, is disparaging. The narrative of single women in plays, dating back to pre-1940s, primarily showed women whose only desire in life was to find companionship. These women rarely had careers to speak of, were driven more by their emotions than reason, and their personalities were typically one extreme or another. As has been presented in my comparative analysis, many contemporary plays fail to present single women as anything new and different. Psychologists believe that the way to bring about the change in dominant framing is to change the narrative. This is precisely what I, as a playwright, have tried to do, and in the next chapter, I will discuss my own personal experiments in re-storying in order to offer a more accurate and honest portrayal of life as a single woman.

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CHAPTER III

WRITING THE NARRATIVE

I am a single woman, and in spite of the religious, familial, and societal pressures that have been placed on me, I have maintained this status my entire adult life. Like anyone, my life has had its ups and downs, and all the while, I have faced them without spousal support. I do not believe, however, that the portrait of my life up to now displays one of a bitter spinster or an old maid. Even before studying playwriting, I always had a burning desire to share my story, my narrative. I relate to how Wendy Wasserstein felt, because for me, the truth of the matter of my own life had not been written (Craig 189).

The two plays I write about in this chapter are plays that reflect my own emotional reality and status as a single woman. As I discuss the writing processes for each play, I include details on the origins of the ideas, similarities I may have to the protagonists, and explanations on how rewrites strengthened the stories. I incorporate explanations on how I attempted to re-story the narrative of single women. Due to the fact that Blood is Thicker Than Roswell was the play I produced as part of this project, I pay particular attention to the challenges and successes of writing a play specifically for inclusion in a festival.

When I was in my late twenties, I had recently returned from an eighteen month proselyting mission for my church. I was working full time and actively seeking a spouse.

After encountering failure after failure, I had begun to get a little discouraged. I felt as though I was doing everything my religion was expecting of me, and didn’t understand why my efforts were not being rewarded. Each time I tried to speak with a family member or friend about my frustrations, I was given a to-do list that, if followed, would

36 Texas Tech University, Page Petrucka, December 2014 most certainly result in a marriage proposal. The ideas that populated this list included: stop spending time with friends so that I can focus primarily on searching for a spouse, don’t actively look for a spouse, because when I’m not looking is precisely when I will find him, go on blind dates, allow myself to be set up, register on a dating web site, take a class, go to a dance, read a self-help book, get a dog, walk said dog in the park, stop being picky, don’t be so independent because a man needs to be needed. My favorite, though, was advice offered to me by an ecclesiastical leader. I shared with him my frustrations of dating and my deep desire to find a spouse. His response was simple: lose weight.

One day I was shopping in a local bookstore, and while waiting in line I saw a display case holding a deck of cards that read 52 Ways to Find Your True Love, by Lynn

Gordon. I picked them up and purchased them. Why not? I’d tried everything else, hadn’t

I? Perhaps Ms. Gordon would have some shiny, new, brilliant suggestions to help me in my search. Upon returning home, I held the deck in my hand, flipped through card after card, and read the lengthy descriptions of things I was to do to find my true love. One of the cards I came across seemed startlingly familiar. It was entitled “Be Fit” on one side, and on the other, it read:

The miracle is unfolding: you’re on your sixth date with a person who bears a striking resemblance to the sweetheart of your dreams. Hand in hand, you’re hiking a romantic mountaintop meadow. Halfway up, you sink to the ground. Your chest is heaving. You’re not panting with desire, you’re huffing with exhaustion. And you’re wishing you’d done more than promise to join the gym. Remember, dating is a contact sport. It requires physical and emotional fitness, as well as a pressure valve to relieve the build-up of stress. So take a yoga class. Find a tennis partner. Don’t wait for someone else to make your endorphins kick in – jump-start them yourself. (Gordon)

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So was the case with almost the entire deck. Those 52 suggestions were simply reframed or rehashed ideas of things I felt I had already tried. “Walk a Dog,” “Learn to Flirt,” “Try one Singles Thing,” “Back to School Night,” on and on, card after card. I discovered no new information. I learned quickly that they were intended to be a source of encouragement and inspiration, not necessarily answers. Except for one card. One spoke the truth. “Go Alone.”

It was then that the idea for The Calendar was born. Like Kate, the play’s protagonist, I felt frustrated by the notion that finding a true love was in store if I only followed the suggestions on the cards. Like Kate, I wanted to prove Ms. Gordon wrong. I wanted her to understand that sometimes, no matter what you do, love cannot be forced, but appears at the right time, in the right place, with the right individual. But even of that there was no guarantee. And like Kate, I had to accept the reality that I may never marry, but that did not mean I couldn’t find fulfillment in my lifetime. I realized that life was about the journey, not the end result, because if I stayed true to myself, then the end result would take care of itself. I would have all that I wanted: a life rich with love, experiences, adventures, and joy. Kate needed to learn these things too. And her story, like mine, became about the journey.

Often, when I have told people some of my interesting dating experiences, they break out into laughter, or are shocked and surprised by what I share. My bad luck with dating goes all the way back to high school, and unfortunately, has not improved with time. During my senior year of high school, I visited my brother who was attending college a few hours away. My best friend and I were given permission to visit him for a weekend. I couldn’t believe my luck. Oh the college boys we were going to meet! At a

38 Texas Tech University, Page Petrucka, December 2014 dorm dance my brother took us to, I even scoped out the most perfect man. I could see all my dreams coming true with him. It was all happening so fast! We would date, marry, have four children, and live happily ever after. I didn’t mind when he asked my friend to dance, because I was the one he was going to pick in the end. I didn’t even mind when my brother’s friend, a young boy a foot shorter than I, with a huge scab covering his entire nose, asked me to dance. I started to mind, though, when my dream man continued to dance with my friend, and the only other person I danced with the rest of the night was a man with long, red, curly hair, glasses with tape around them, wearing plaid bell bottoms (so out of style), and platform shoes. After the dance, both nerd man and scab boy walked me back to where I was staying, while my best friend enjoyed a moonlit stroll and make-out session with my future husband. What I didn’t realize was that this was the beginning of the end.

A few years later, I fell in love again, or so I thought. This time with a man who was a homosexual, only I didn’t learn the news until after he had made a rather informal proposal of marriage. Things continued to go downhill. Like Kate, I encountered, or in my case dated, a man who claimed he had blown up a house. This same man also told me of how he was struck by lightning, twice. I also dated a man who got into serious trouble with the law and is now a convicted felon. I was set up on a blind date with a man missing a body part; the person setting me up failed to inform me of this little piece of information. And, while in England on a study abroad experience, I really did use a human pheromone wipe (purchased from a store going out of business) to attract the attention of a member of the opposite sex, which unfortunately backfired, causing the

39 Texas Tech University, Page Petrucka, December 2014 man to flee to the other side of the train station so he didn’t have to stand near me and smell the putrid stench of pheromones “on sale.”

The experiences of dating frustration, promises of true love, and finding joy in the journey all came together to form the plot of The Calendar. It would take almost fifteen years for this original idea to finally be organized and written in play format, under the tutelage of Dr. Norman Bert. It was Bert who taught me the importance of planning and mapping out a play before writing it. He also taught me the critical values of Aristotle’s six elements of drama, and their roles in playwriting. By the end of my first year as a doctoral student, I signed up to take summer courses, and one of these included an independent study course, where I agreed to write a complete draft of a full-length play in two months’ time. The Calendar seemed the perfect project for several reasons. The idea had been in the back of my mind for years. My stories continued to accumulate, which would fill the pages of a full-length play without difficulty. The narrative of single women like me still needed to be told. The hope, then, was that such a play would be informative, fun, and eye opening for audiences. Plus, writing it would be cathartic for me.

The arrangement with Bert would incorporate a first draft with initial rewrites, due at the end of the summer. As I had never written a full-length play before, I was ready and willing to learn the process, establish a prolific routine of writing, and meet frequently with my mentor to discuss sections of the play which were weak or needed rethinking.

As these were my own experiences in a fictionalized form, I took great pride in the fact that Kate was a lot like me. In fact, her name is a shortened version of my middle

40 Texas Tech University, Page Petrucka, December 2014 name, Kathryn. Unfortunately, this proved to be my first hurdle. After reading a portion of the play, Bert pointed out to me that the character was just too much like me. Because of this, there were few places that I, as the playwright, could take her. She would be perpetually stuck in my own reality. He explained that although it was fine to keep the real life experiences, it would be much more freeing for me to make the character different. Additionally, I didn’t really incorporate any interesting flaws into the character.

Not because I think I am flawless, but the thought never crossed my mind. According to

Christopher Vogler, author of The Writer’s Journey: Mythic Structure for Writers,

“Interesting flaws humanize a character” (Vogler 33). He continues: “Weaknesses, imperfections, quirks, and vices immediately make a Hero or any other character more real and appealing… Flaws are a starting point of imperfection or incompleteness from which a character can grow” (Vogler 33).

At the time, I was an avid follower of a television show called In Plain Sight, which aired on the USA Network. The show’s protagonist was named Mary, and her heavy sarcasm and anger mixed with loyalty and compassion drew me in and kept me watching. I wondered if Kate could take on some of these qualities. I began re-writing her with this in mind. It took several rewrites and a few more meetings with Bert, but in the end I believe I found the right balance.

With all of Kate’s now incorporated flaws, I needed to provide her with a conscience. Originally, I had intended that part to be played by Kate’s brother Rob. But as I continued to write, I determined that particular role needed to be filled by Riley,

Kate’s sister-in-law. Vogler calls this type of character the “ally.” He states:

Heroes on their journeys may need someone to travel with them, an Ally who can serve a variety of necessary functions, such as companion,

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sparring partner, conscience, or comic relief… Allies do many mundane tasks but also serve the important function of humanizing the heroes… or challenging them to be more open and balanced. (71)

Riley began to do all of these things for Kate. She served as a comic relief, but she also became a sounding board for Kate. She took Kate’s journey with her and tried to protect her along the way. Riley’s positive, fun energy balanced Kate’s pessimism and sarcasm with such harmony. As a playwright, it was a pleasure to write scenes for the two of them.

In Riley, Kate had her ally, but I felt that Kate also needed someone in direct opposition. Like so much of the play, this too was driven by my own personal experiences. Friends and acquaintances I knew throughout my twenties and thirties found success in their search for a soul mate while I did not, in spite of the fact that we were all doing basically the same things and participating in many of the same activities. I felt that

Kate should experience this as well, and so the character of Lynn was born. Sam Smiley refers to these characters as foils. “A foil is a minor character who stands as a contrasting companion to a major character” (144). Both Kate and Lynn accept the calendar challenge. Throughout the play, Kate bumps into Lynn and discovers that for Lynn, the challenge is doing exactly what the calendar promised, which seems to only heighten

Kate’s pessimism and frustration.

Apart from Kate and Riley, the rest of the cast of The Calendar (including Lynn) is an ensemble comprised of three men and three women who play multiple roles. There is also a bit of cross gender casting, specifically in the auto mechanic class scene. The ensemble is responsible for the flow of the play. I see them quickly moving the set pieces on and off different areas of the stage and filling the roles of background and supporting

42 Texas Tech University, Page Petrucka, December 2014 characters. It is my hope that actors and actresses cast in future productions of this play will find these roles equally fun and challenging to portray.

Over the years, I have been attracted to characters in plays that show growth; characters who are different by journey’s end and have changed because of their experiences. One of the strongest examples of this is Glinda in the musical Wicked. At first, audiences see her as one with little substance. She is flighty, silly, and only interested in popularity. However, by play’s end, she takes a stand, trusts her friend against the odds, and shows wisdom and leadership. Her change from beginning to end is powerful and unforgettable.

Kate, too, needed to show change. She began the play depressed, sarcastic, and negative. By the end of the play, I wanted her to have found a little bit of joy in the journey of her life, regardless of whether or not she had found true love during the calendar year. I wanted to show change through decisions Kate makes, regardless of the outcome. In Poetics, Aristotle explains that “Character is that which reveals decision, of whatever sort; this is why those speeches in which the speaker decides or avoids nothing at all do not have character” (9). The way I needed to write Kate’s change and growth was to show her making decisions. One of the strongest ways I demonstrated this was in one of the last scenes of the play. It’s Thanksgiving Day. As per the calendar’s instructions, Kate has volunteered to serve food at a women’s shelter. She sees a woman in desperate need of help and for some reason is drawn to her. She and Lynn, who happens to be volunteering at the same shelter, have a conversation about the woman.

Lynn comments that her backstory makes no difference, the only thing that matters is that she needs help.

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Kate’s empathy begins to grow, but it is at the end of the scene when we see Kate make a decision. She has previously explained to Lynn that she has saved up money to take a trip by herself at the end of the next month, to celebrate her “still singleness.” But after talking to Lynn, she decides to use the money in a different manner. In regards to the woman in need, Kate and Jane, the shelter organizer, have the following conversation:

KATE Has she been in here for very long?

JANE Not very. Poor girl. She’s been through so much. Are you ready to get to work?

KATE One second. (KATE crosses to WOMAN 1 and speaks to her.) Will you save a seat for me?

(WOMAN 1 looks up at KATE and nods. KATE smiles and then crosses back to JANE.)

Listen, I know you’re really busy, but – can we go to your office for a few minutes?

JANE Are you sure this can’t wait until –

KATE It can’t. I really want to take care of something, anonymously.

JANE (Smiles.) Alright. My office is this way.

KATE Thanks.

We learn in the final scene that Kate has generously given her savings to the woman in need, with the hope that the money will help her get back on her feet again. This unselfish act is uncharacteristic of the Kate who began the calendar journey. This

44 Texas Tech University, Page Petrucka, December 2014 conscious decision to act on behalf of someone else demonstrates the growth Kate has undergone throughout the year.

The narrative of the single woman in The Calendar is intended to confront the notion of the bitter spinster and old maid and to get the issue out in the open and not hide from it. Then, the audience can hopefully see that Kate is really not like the stereotypes of the past. She is modern, interesting, and unique.

In order to deal with the negative stereotypes as quickly as possible, I wrote dialogue between Kate and Riley in the first scene of the play where Kate expresses her fears about turning forty and remaining single. In this conversation, even Kate has fallen victim to the negative stereotype of single women.

RILEY What’s wrong? You’ve been so down. Everyone has noticed it.

KATE That’s just great. Everyone knows that I’m a depressed, single, bitter woman--

RILEY Talk to me, goose. What’s going on?

KATE What do you think?

RILEY Hm. I left my crystal ball in my other jeans, but let me take a crack at it. You had a birthday yesterday--

KATE Happy Birthday to me.

RILEY And you turned thirty-nine.

KATE Here we go--

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RILEY Which means, if my math is right--

KATE Don’t say it.

RILEY Next year you turn forty!

KATE She said it. Why, Riley? Why did we have to go there?

RILEY It doesn’t mean anything. It’s just another birthday.

KATE It’s my worst nightmare.

RILEY Why?

KATE If I get to forty still single, it will mean one thing. I’m a failure.

RILEY That’s not true! You’ve accomplished so much!

KATE But not the things I wanted to by forty.

Like many singles, Kate has given herself a timeline with expectations attached, and if those expectations are not fulfilled, she and perhaps even society will call her a failure. A similar conversation occurs a few scenes later between Kate and her brother

Rob. Exasperated, Kate tells Rob that she doesn’t want to become a “bitter spinster,” but that if she is still single at forty she will be. I included both of these conversations because that is the cultural discourse singles repeatedly hear, even today. The assumption may not have any factual truth or credibility, but it does demonstrate societal beliefs.

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“Our community of discourse is not based in truth but does involve all the rules we make up in formulating what is believed to be normal and what is not” (Madigan 49).

I have often been reminded that if I really want to know someone, I need to walk a mile in his or her shoes. The Calendar is my way of giving audiences this very opportunity. As I have previously mentioned, I have had a myriad of adventures in my lifetime, and all have made me who I am today. By giving Kate monthly challenges, the calendar takes her on little adventures to add to her repertoire of an already interesting life. But it also allows audiences to see her in different situations, and shows that Kate is unique and interesting, and should not be labeled or categorized because of her marital status. She may be sarcastic, and perhaps even a little depressed as the play begins, but she does not remotely resemble a bitter spinster or an old maid. She is funny, witty, and bold with the ability to grow and adapt to her life’s circumstances. It is my hope that by reminding audiences of the negative stereotype as the play begins, they can then see the truth of the story unfolding before their eyes and discover a different narrative for single women.

In finishing the first draft of The Calendar, I had completed my first full-length play. It was an achievement taking an idea that had been rolling around in my head for so many years and forming it into a cohesive story. However, the play remains a first draft. I believe it could benefit greatly from a workshop. Placement of scenes may be stronger if rearranged. The ensemble’s dialogue could be improved through improvisation exercises with actors. Additionally, it would be advantageous to bring in sample audiences and have them answer questions before and after the play. The questions could be centered on

47 Texas Tech University, Page Petrucka, December 2014 singleness, societal attitudes, and whether or not the play offered a more accurate portrayal of single women today.

My second play Blood is Thicker Than Roswell (hereafter referred to as Roswell) was conceived in a very different fashion from The Calendar. This play’s journey began in 2011, when it was suggested to me that I write a play specifically for production in the

Prague Fringe Festival. I intended to complete a study abroad program in Prague, Czech

Republic the following summer, and the Festival coincided with my time overseas. The notion of writing and producing a play for a fringe festival was an exciting one, so I began working through the details of writing the play, getting it accepted into the

Festival, and preparing it for production. Bert agreed to another independent study class where I could write the play with his assistance, while Dr. Linda Donahue, faculty advisor for the Prague study abroad program, agreed to supervise rehearsals and play production while in the Czech Republic.

Next, I had to line up a creative team. The application to the festival required names of actors and director, and details of lighting, staging, and sound requirements.

After a series of fortunate events, I finally settled on a committed cast and crew, and could trust that they would make every effort to make this play a success. I chose a cast of actors already intending to study in Prague the following summer. The director I chose is a talented and trusted friend. Although she would not be going to Prague, she would rehearse with us right up until the time we left and oversee a dress rehearsal before we left the country. One additional team member was recruited to serve as dramaturg and assistant director. He would be studying abroad with us, and could pick up where our director left off.

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With creative team in place, my next task was to come up with an idea for the play. The application to the Festival did not require an attachment of the entire script, but did ask for a play summary of 150 words, and an even shorter summary for the Festival program. I started thinking about things that interested me. I also thought about what was pressing on my mind at the time, and what would make for a good story with conflict, emotion, and humor. I mulled over my actresses, their personalities, and how we as a cast meshed together. I also took heavy stock in the fact that this was a traveling show, and we would have little in the way of set pieces. I would be able to request basic set pieces such as a chair, a table, a lamp, and so on, but I couldn’t get too elaborate with my requirements. Props would have to be minimal so they could be transported in suitcases.

The Festival provided a stage manager to work lighting and sound for a reasonable fee, but the lighting capabilities were extremely limited. All these considerations had to be ever present in my mind as I created and wrote the story of Roswell.

The idea for the play surfaced due to the simple fact that Lubbock is a mere three- hour drive from Roswell, New Mexico. This location, as many will remember, is the place of the alleged crash in 1947 where some claimed to have seen extraterrestrials and a spacecraft of unknown origin. I am a huge science fiction fan and have always been intrigued by the story of Roswell. I don’t know if I believe it, but I enjoy the mystery and debate surrounding it. As I was going to play one of the characters, I decided that my role would be one of a believer in the incident. I shared this newly hatched idea with another one of the actresses, and she scoffed at the notion of incorporating Roswell into the play.

Clearly, her role had to be one of a disbeliever. Thus, the conflict for my play was born.

The story would involve three sisters. The eldest would be a believer in everything from

49 Texas Tech University, Page Petrucka, December 2014 religion to Roswell. The youngest sister would be a scientist, driven only by what is tangible. And the middle sister would be easy going, caring, and the go-between for the other two.

Once all of this was in place, I began finalizing the details of the play. As required by the Festival, it needed to run no longer than sixty minutes, so I settled on four scenes, each running approximately fifteen minutes long. I did research on Roswell, New Mexico and the crash itself. Plus, I wanted to incorporate nuances of astronomy, so I researched star and constellation names and legends. Each of the sisters would be named after a star or constellation that resembled her personality and life story.

Talitha Borealis is a star in the front, right paw of the Ursa Major constellation.

The name’s meaning is in direct reference to a scripture in the New Testament. The Book of Mark, chapter 5, speaks of the death of a young girl. Christ comforts the mourning parents, and miraculously brings the young girl back to life. Verse 41 reads, “…Talitha cumi; which is, being interpreted, Damsel, I say unto thee, arise” (King James Version,

1979). Because of this religious connotation, I felt that this would be an appropriate name for the eldest sister, the believer. Additionally, I liked the sound of the name, and decided to shorten it to just Tali (although her full name on the character page is Talitha Borealis).

Gemma Ariadne is both the brightest and the middle most star in the Northern

Crown constellation, also known as Corona Borealis. Because it is the brightest, many refer to Gemma as the “white jewel of the star,” or the “gem of the Northern Crown.”

The mythical woman Ariadne is also known as the goddess of weaving. She evidently had four children with her husband Dionysius. I appreciated these little details, and decided to incorporate them into the middle sister’s story.

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Mira Ceti is the name for a binary star system. Mira means “wonderful” or

“miraculous.” It pulses and leaves a wake behind it as it moves. But for me, the most attractive facet about this star is that scientists have noted that it appears to be changing ever so slowly over the years. I formulated the backstory that this sister didn’t start out as an unbeliever. However, due to unfortunate family events, her belief in God and religion waivered, and she turned to science for answers. Like the star, Mira left a wake behind her when she left home, making it so that she and Tali are continually at odds with each other.

With this background information in place, I worked to tie in more of the sisters’ histories to the events surrounding the Roswell crash. I took a road trip to Roswell in order to acquire materials, props, and costumes to aid in this endeavor. I was able to locate fun little props that could possibly be used during the play. They were compact, sturdy (for the most part), and could easily be seen by audiences, especially the five-foot blow up alien affectionately named Bob. Some items I specifically sought out for use in the play. For example, I knew I wanted Tali to wear a brightly colored t-shirt that bore the phrase “I believe,” and sure enough, I found exactly what I wanted.

Dates and crash specifics had to be incorporated. This was done through the sisters’ father character. Although deceased at the time of the play, his backstory had a great impact on the sisters, especially Tali. I mixed factual events with fictional, and revealed them to the audience through Tali’s bridal shower game “This is Your Life,” which was really just a retelling of the Roswell event from their father’s perspective.

Before actually writing the dialogue of the play, I completed a play scenario under the direction of Bert. The purpose of a scenario is to organize the play’s plot, flesh out

51 Texas Tech University, Page Petrucka, December 2014 scene and character breakdowns, and determine a completion date. It was a painstaking exercise, but helped the writing process tremendously. In addition, it gave me exactly what I needed to complete the application for the Prague Fringe. I was able to write a clear, concise summary in 150 words: a requirement for the application process. It read:

Talitha Wilmar believes wholeheartedly in her father’s claim to have seen a flying saucer over his home near Roswell, New Mexico sixty-five years ago. Her youngest sister, Mira, doesn’t share her blind faith, which has caused a noticeable rift between them. Unable to take sides is middle sister Gemma, labeled by her sisters as the family’s official referee and peacemaker.

The play begins as Mira returns home expecting a bridal shower to celebrate her recent engagement. But her sisters have their own agendas. Gemma’s is a noble one: for the three to spend quality time together and mend fences. Tali, however, sees this as an opportunity to finally convince her sisters in the existence of life beyond the here and now.

An unforgettable journey ensues as the three sisters travel back to Roswell to search for common ground among them. Instead, they find something truly out of this world.

I included this summary, as well as a shorter, sixty-word summary in the application and sent it off in October, 2011. It would be two months before I heard back confirming my acceptance into the Festival, but by then, the play would be written in its entirety, ready for read-throughs and additional rewrites which would begin the very next month.

There was one more piece of research I had to complete before I began writing. I know very little about science, and I needed to find someone willing to aid me in writing the technological jargon I would have to incorporate into Mira’s dialogue. Most fortunately, Lori Uebelhart (the actress playing Mira) has a brother who is an aerospace engineer and employed by MIT (Massachusetts Institute of Technology). She wasn’t sure exactly what he did for them, but believed it revolved around satellites. She arranged for

52 Texas Tech University, Page Petrucka, December 2014 me to have a telephone conference with him, and during that discussion I gleaned extremely useful information to help not only with the “tech talk,” but also in developing

Mira’s character more fully. I learned that Scott Uebelhart is not a scientist, but an aerospace engineer, and that the two are very different. I learned that he works with telescopes, not satellites, and this was incorporated into the play as well. And for the

“tech talk,” he allowed me to use some of the phrases from his dissertation and master’s thesis in the play. In fact, Mira’s explanations about what she does are simply the titles of

Dr. Uebelhart’s writings. For example, when Gemma asks Mira to explain her job, Mira states, “My work focuses on the non-deterministic design and analysis of parameterized optical structures during the conceptual design of telescopes…” The phrase was perfect. I am grateful to Dr. Uebelhart and his willingness to work with me, as well as his permission to use language from his own research.

The actual writing process of this play was done very much like the writing of

The Calendar. I would complete a scene, submit it for review, and then meet with Bert to discuss his thoughts. Often during these discussions, he would let me know if there were any gaps in the plot or if the characters’ dialogue was inconsistent. I would take these notes to heart as I wrote and re-wrote scenes. One of the biggest hurdles I needed to overcome was getting out of the way of these characters. I knew there would be a lot of contention between these three sisters, but many times, as I would write, I would think of how mean they were being to each other, and then rework the dialogue to make it softer or nicer. Bert picked up on this right away and reminded me that these characters needed to work out their issues without me stepping in, even if it’s difficult for me to write. And

53 Texas Tech University, Page Petrucka, December 2014 he was correct. I finally let them say what they needed to say but kept everything as real and believable as possible.

Growing up in a large family with strong personalities, I learned that during an argument, someone would inadvertently say something so absurd it would cause the anger to be abated for a time. I couldn’t have the sisters fight the entire play. They would need a bit of a reprieve now and then. So I found ways to break things up and add little moments of humor in the dialogue. One of these moments occurs in the third scene. Mira is frustrated with both Gemma and Tali. She tells Gemma she’s tired of her changing the subject while she and Tali are fighting. Out of nowhere, Tali asks Mira a question completely out of context.

GEMMA What I was going to say…

MIRA There you go again!

GEMMA What?

MIRA Changing the subject!

GEMMA Because I’m hungry and I would really like to eat something. Would that be alright with everyone?

TALI Yeah, I’m kinda hungry.

MIRA Me too.

GEMMA I swear! You kids are drivin’ me crazy!

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TALI I just have one more question to ask Mira...

GEMMA Here we go...

TALI Why don’t you believe in aliens?

I wouldn’t find this out until the performance, but Tali’s line inserted right at that moment afforded everyone a very necessary break, and it consistently received a big laugh from audiences.

The play was completed in December, 2011, but we would not begin rehearsals until late March, 2012. This gave me a few months to complete final rewrites. It also gave me an opportunity to have a few read-throughs with director and cast, and meet individually with my dramaturg. Read-throughs were particularly helpful, because it allowed me to hear the words of my play out loud, as read by actors other than myself.

The script was in very good shape to begin with, so not much had to be changed during this time, just minor word replacements and dialogue tweaks. In the next chapter, I will discuss rehearsals and production in greater detail, and I will include details on the coordination between my director, my dramaturg, and myself.

I stated in the first chapter that the characters in this play were designed to be without significant others. This meant, for all intents and purposes, the three sisters would all be single throughout the duration of the play. However, I created them to be in various stages of singlehood. Tali has never married; Gemma is divorced with four children; and

Mira has been single for years and is only recently engaged to be married. The sisters’ ages range from thirty-five to forty, placing all of them in the previously established definition of single women.

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Unlike the narrative in The Calendar, I wanted the play to focus on something other than being single. My desire was to portray the narrative as accepted, without societal or even familial pressures. I do not believe this weakens my case for changing the narrative, but it does express my desire to portray singles not defined by their search for companionship. These three women are unique, complete, and even successful in their chosen paths. Their family dynamics and varied belief systems are the root of the conflict, not their marital status.

This is not to say companionship is never mentioned. On the contrary, the women do discuss men on a few occasions. However, none bemoan being single. Tali mentions that she wishes she would have had the chance to have kids, but her only comment regarding companionship is “I gave up that pipe dream a long time ago” (25). Gemma, on the other hand, married young and divorced her husband a year prior to the time the play takes place. She discusses making appearances in “certain social circles” (25) but doesn’t seem to be in any hurry to marry again. Her focus now is raising her four boys. Mira is a successful aerospace engineer and put career before marriage until now. We know little about her fiancé other than he works with Mira, and the two have been dating for an unspecified time.

Instead of the conflict centering on singleness, I chose to have it be about belief, and then see how the sisters deal with their differences with each other minus partners or companions. Belief is a broad topic, so I narrowed it down to belief in God, religion, the after-life, and the unknown. I pit Tali, the blind believer, against Mira, the engineer who needs everything to be tangible, and then let Gemma attempt to sort the two of them out.

Their issues are regular, every day issues, found in all types of family units. There is

56 Texas Tech University, Page Petrucka, December 2014 fighting, love, understanding, and frustration. But by the end of the play, no one is trying to change anyone else’s mind. There is simply acceptance.

The idea for The Calendar was originally hatched during a time in my life when I was tenaciously searching for a spouse. All those ideas and experiences were so true and real for me. But as time pressed on, my focus changed, and I settled into the notion that I may possibly remain single for years to come. It felt very freeing to accept this about myself. In addition, it opened up a new world to me, a world where I only answered to myself, and I could live my life and pursue the career I had been dreaming of. It was during this particular phase in my life that I wrote Roswell. Hence, Tali’s character reflects many of the attitudes I currently hold. I have given up the pipe dream of a house with a white picket fence, a spouse, and several children. I would have liked to have these things, but my experiences in the past twenty years have been so rich and fulfilling that I honestly would not trade them. I am content with myself, my immediate family, my hobbies, and my goals. This is my narrative, and in turn, Tali’s as well.

Writing both of these plays has been an enriching experience. I have found particular enjoyment incorporating single female characters into them, and watching their journeys play out before the eyes of readers and audiences. Their narratives, while different, are reflective of truth and accuracy in regards to singlehood, as I have witnessed in my own lifetime.

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CHAPTER IV

PRODUCING THE NARRATIVE

In order to complete a dissertation in playwriting at Texas Tech University, students must have a play produced as part of a theatre’s season. This can be achieved either through the assistance of the university or through another reputable theatre or festival, provided it meets with faculty approval. It was my great pleasure to have Blood is Thicker Than Roswell included in the Prague Fringe Festival’s 2012 season of plays, and for me, it was an experience like no other. This chapter is dedicated to the chronological events of Roswell’s production process, my experiences as both the creator of and actress in the play, thoughts by the cast and crew in regards to the play’s narrative, audience responses, and the highlights and learning experiences of producing a play for an international play festival. As Roswell also won the Texas Educational Theatre

Association’s Playwriting award in 2013, I include details from that event as well.

On December 1, 2011, I received an e-mail from Steve Gove, co-producer of the

Prague Fringe Festival, notifying me of my play’s acceptance into the Festival. Included in the e-mail was a contract I was required to sign and return, instructions on wiring money to the Festival to cover the cost of production, and a link to attach a photo and complete a program detail form for the Festival brochure. We were initially scheduled for three performances, but due to scheduling conflicts while in Prague, our play was only able to be performed twice. Through a series of e-mail negotiations with Mr. Gove, the final decision was made that our play would have two performances: June 8 and 9, 2012.

I signed the contract, wired the money, had pictures taken with our cast, and completed the program detail form in the matter of a week. All we had left to do was acquire

58 Texas Tech University, Page Petrucka, December 2014 advertising materials and ready the show for performance, which wouldn’t happen for another several months.

In early 2012, I met with Kristen Rogers, the play’s director, to discuss the script and my purpose in writing it. It was important to me that she understood what I, as the play’s creator, was hoping to achieve through production. I purposely made all three of the play’s characters single during this particular time in their lives. I wanted singleness not to be the central focal point of the play, but to be an accepted, ordinary aspect of their lives. And, I wanted the three of them to find a way to lean on each other in spite of their differences. When asked to share her thoughts about the play’s narrative, Rogers stated the following:

What I love is that none of them [the sisters] is necessarily defined by her relationship status. It is certainly a part of who they are, but it is NOT what the play is about… So often, when a single woman appears in a play or a movie, she seems reduced to a stereotype, meant to stand for all single women in some way. None of the characters in this play are forced to carry that burden. They are complete human beings struggling with faith, loss, and family relationships. They are all real and flawed, but they are not flawed BECAUSE they are single. (Rogers)

Rogers was most definitely the ideal person to guide Roswell through rehearsals and into production.

We opted not to rehearse the show too soon before production, so we scheduled only a few preliminary read-throughs, with rehearsals set to begin in March. These read- throughs were essential for me as playwright. It gave me an opportunity to hear the written words spoken by the actresses themselves. I could hear how everything sounded.

If some of the dialogue didn’t sound as fluid as I would have liked, I could change it as needed. We also invited our dramaturg Jared Strange to these rehearsals, and his contribution was extremely helpful in these early stages of the production.

59 Texas Tech University, Page Petrucka, December 2014

Strange and I met after one of these initial read-throughs. He stated that there were very few changes he would recommend to the script, and wondered how he could best serve me as the play’s dramaturg. Because of my dual role as both playwright and performer, I was concerned that I would have difficulty performing both tasks simultaneously. While on stage, I wanted to act. I didn’t want my focus to wane in the slightest. I also didn’t want to get into the habit of saying “I’ll just change that line later” should an issue arise. We concluded that Strange would serve as my eyes and ears during rehearsals. He would take detailed notes. Afterwards, I would put my playwright’s hat back on and, along with our director, the three of us would discuss any issues in the script and/or dialogue. Additionally, this would give Strange a taste of the direction Rogers was taking us, since he would serve as director once we were in Prague.

Another task requiring our consideration was advertising our play while in

Prague. After speaking with a past attendee of the Prague Fringe, I learned that the best way to advertise for our production came by way of postcards with dates and times of performances. The plan was to distribute them to participating venues and pass them out during Festival events and even other play productions. They could also be conveniently and safely transported internationally. After viewing examples of these cards (provided by students who had previously attended the Festival), I decided that I would use the cards not only as a form of advertisement, but also as a program for the play. With the help of a fellow doctoral student, we settled on an appropriate design and layout. One side included a picture of the cast with the play’s title, and the back provided play details, cast list, and a clever caption written by our dramaturg. Figures A and B show the front and back of our postcard.

60 Texas Tech University, Page Petrucka, December 2014

(Figure A)

Figure b

(Figure B)

We printed a thousand card, sure that it would be enough for our needs.

Specifications for our venue were sent to me via e-mail. Our space was to be on the fourth floor of the Malostranská Beseda building, the central hub for Festival activities. It had been previously used as an art studio, and 2012 was the first year it

61 Texas Tech University, Page Petrucka, December 2014 would be included as a location for productions. It was a large space with restrooms and a dressing room. The stage consisted of a seven inch raised platform, ten feet by six and a half feet. Set walls were dark black curtains, giving the stage a proscenium feel. Lighting capabilities were limited to cold and warm washes; a simple sound system would be provided; forty-two chairs would be set up for seating. With this preliminary knowledge in hand, we were ready to begin our rehearsal process.

In March of 2012, we had our first official rehearsal. Because our stage in Prague was small, we were able to rehearse practically anywhere. We marked the size of the stage with masking tape in both the former Annex Lounge of the Texas Tech Department of Theatre and Dance and our director’s living room, the two primary locations of rehearsals. This helped us get a feel for just how small the space was and how to best negotiate our blocking. Originally, we had thought we would use a couch, chair and a table. But with the new knowledge of the dimensions of the stage, the set pieces had to be reduced. We ended up using only three chairs, set in different configurations for each of the scenes. This also made it easier for Festival producers to provide us with our basic set requirements.

Roswell has only three characters. I wrote it to be an ensemble piece. In order to make this production successful, it was essential that the actresses develop trust and empathy for each other and their characters. Rogers knew this was a necessary component. She informed us that during the course of the rehearsals, she would have us improvise three scenes, all entirely feasible based on the script I had written. At first, I was nervous at the suggestion. What if the other actresses took my characters down a road I didn’t fully agree with? What if they said things during the improvisations I felt

62 Texas Tech University, Page Petrucka, December 2014 were entirely out of character? It was in these moments of panic I had to remember the words of Constantin Stanislavski. In his book Creating a Role, he states:

[The playwright] is confined within the narrow limits of a play. These limits are fixed as to time, and very brief it is too. What can he say in that brief time? And he has much to say. So this is where he looks to the actors for help. What the playwright does not have the time to say about the past and the future the actors should fill out. (161)

I had to put my faith in my director and actresses, and trust that, as they helped to expand

Gemma and Mira’s stories, Tali’s story would become complete in the process.

Letting go and allowing the other actresses fill out the past and future of these characters was made easier once I knew Andria Baisley and Lori Uebelhart understood

Roswell’s narrative so clearly. We talked at length about my vision and creative intent for the play. At times, the sisters discuss relationships both past and present, but singleness is not viewed by any of them as an issue or a problem. Instead, the play narrows in on family relationships, belief and faith. In a later discussion, Uebelhart made the following statement about the single women in Roswell:

The play does not shy away from each woman's journey with men. One relationship has ended in divorce, one sister is about to enter marriage, and the oldest sister has never found a partner. Roswell is a beautiful character study, so each unique situation is discussed casually and informally between the characters. (Uebelhart)

Baisley was particularly struck by the familial support the sisters offered each other by play’s end:

This play is very much about family. I think there is a great misconception within society that to have a family you must have a marriage, have a child, have your own house…etc. Which is why I think Blood is Thicker than Roswell is so important. You have a play that is not only highlighting a single woman, but showcasing the familial support OF that single woman. (Baisley)

From these statements, it was clear to me that I could trust my cast and crew completely,

63 Texas Tech University, Page Petrucka, December 2014 and I had no doubts that this play’s narrative would be told with complete integrity.

The three different improvisations Rogers suggested we experiment with were

Mira’s moving away from home to go to college, the sisters planning Gemma’s wedding, and the fight Tali and Mira had after their father died. It was only the last one I refer to directly in the script. Tali and Mira discuss what happened the last time Mira visited.

TALI

You told us at our father’s funeral that you don’t believe in God.

MIRA That is not what I said.

TALI That’s what I remember.

MIRA Well, you’re wrong.

TALI Then what did you say?

MIRA That I didn’t know what I believed.

TALI But you were raised--

MIRA I know how I was raised. Things change, though.

These lines made for a strong foundation for the improvisation exercise. From a both a playwriting and acting perspective, this particular improvisation was the most beneficial of the three. While the improved scene was difficult to act out, it brought up raw, honest emotions and allowed us to take our characters to a time and a place they had been avoiding. Losing their father was difficult and painful, but it was also when their relationships changed forever. As a playwright, should I choose to expand the script,

64 Texas Tech University, Page Petrucka, December 2014 incorporating this and other possible past events as flashbacks may offer a more complete story, rounding out rough edges and filling in the gaps audiences only get brief glimpses of.

We rehearsed the play for about a month, mostly in the former Annex lounge and

Rogers’ home. We were even able to schedule a few rehearsals on the Maedgen

Laboratory Theatre stage. To my great relief, I had no issues switching back and forth between playwright and actress when necessary. During rehearsals, Rogers and Strange took playwriting notes, on breaks I would jot down ideas or thoughts I had relating to the script. After rehearsals, I would meet with my creative team and we would discuss the play. But while I was on stage, I was free to become Tali, free to develop relationships with the other two actresses and their characters. I trusted Rogers completely with my script, and let her direct us as she saw fit.

I did find it interesting that often during rehearsals Rogers would ask us, “Why do you think your character says that here?” Or she would inquire, “What do you think your character means by this?” My internal answer would always initially be, “Because that’s what the playwright chose to write.” This answer, however, was not sufficient for someone trying to create a role. There had to be thought behind the lines. Like

Stanislavski, Uta Hagen explains the importance of thought when acting. In Respect for

Acting, she writes:

The circumstances given by the author of the play must be dug out of each word he has set down. They can determine or condition our conflicts, can supply our motivations, and specify the nature of our actions… The imagination of the actor can’t really begin to work until he has found them, filled them in, rounded them out, and extended them fully. (158)

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As a cast, we did this. We determined motivations and conflicts, based on the circumstances I had created as a playwright. And surprisingly, I did not disagree with the actresses’ or director’s choices. They opened my eyes to so much I had not even considered when I originally penned the words. This may not be what most playwrights encounter when producing a play, but for me, it was both exciting and rewarding.

At the beginning of May, 2012, I received an e-mail from Mr. Gove with a link to an electronic version of the Festival program. These programs would be distributed in

Prague before and during the week of the Festival. Each play was given its own page for advertisement purposes. Because the plays were listed in alphabetical order, ours was near the front. The advertisement included a picture, location, date and time of performances, and a description of the play in both English and Czech. Figure C on the following page shows Roswell’s advertisement in the program.

Roswell’s genre was classified as “text based.” This was to help to clarify to attendees the type of production it was, as some of the shows at the Festival were music or even dance based. Many appeared to be experimental or avant-garde, and the mix of productions included puppet shows, mime, improvisations, musical revues, and stand-up comedy routines. The Festival seemed to offer a little something for everyone. It was ironic to me that in such a setting, my normal, straight play could be considered

“unusual.” Roswell was different because it was not avant-garde.

Before traveling overseas, we opted to have a dress rehearsal in Lubbock. This would give the cast a chance to perform in front of a live audience. It would give

Rogers an opportunity to give final directing notes to the cast. And it would help our dramaturg make the transition to assistant director by witnessing Rogers’ vision of

66 Texas Tech University, Page Petrucka, December 2014

(Figure C) the play. We invited students, friends, and faculty to the performance, which was held on

Friday, May 11th, 2012, at 8:30 pm in the Maedgen Laboratory Theatre.

Due to the fact that this dress rehearsal was at the end of the semester, many had prior commitments, so our audience size wasn’t huge. We had approximately forty-five attendees, just about the capacity of our little space in Prague. Two faculty members

67 Texas Tech University, Page Petrucka, December 2014 came in support of the play, and the rest of the audience was comprised of students and friends in the theatre department. From an acting standpoint, I felt that this performance was a necessary step in preparation for Prague. We (the performers) discovered potential laugh lines, found new levels of emotion, strengthened our chemistry on stage, and helped each other through stumbled lines and props that went awry. These included a very unruly blow-up alien who decided to make an entrance when he wasn’t supposed to, and headbands with bobble head aliens on them that broke apart in the middle of the play’s final scene. These headbands were important because of their mention in the script. Fortunately, all those months ago I had purchased a few spare headbands in

Roswell, New Mexico. It was good to learn, however, that these were fragile and needed to be handled with care.

From the perspective of the playwright, I couldn’t have been happier with the response from the audience. Granted, these were people I would call my friends. But I believe they were truly invested in the characters and their story. At play’s end, the cast and crew stayed in the Lab Theatre for a while to visit with audience members. Some praised our performances and the show’s direction. One faculty member stated that while this genre isn’t his preferred “style of theatre,” he congratulated me on acceptance into the Festival and wished us all the best. I noticed that there were some members of the audience who were overcome with emotion. I talked to each of them and they expressed to me how moved they were by the story. They felt that the dialogue was authentic and real, funny, and sad at the same time. They truly cared about these characters.

This was precisely the feedback I had hoped for. The play made an impact. It brought about laughter and tears. It caused some to think about their own life experiences

68 Texas Tech University, Page Petrucka, December 2014 and relationships. Regardless of their singleness, the characters were appreciated and relevant. The narrative I anticipated sharing was, at least for this audience, welcomed and accepted.

It would be almost a month before we would perform Roswell again. We didn’t begin pick up rehearsals in Prague until about two weeks before the performances. Again, the small size of the stage played in our favor, and we were able to rehearse in one of the rooms of our rented flat without difficulty.

The Prague Fringe Festival ran June 1 - 9, 2012. Roswell’s performances were the final two days of the festival, so our heavy rehearsals occurred during that week. While this decision seemed to make the most sense logistically, it also somewhat limited our ability to attend other Fringe productions, advertise our own play, and participate in

Festival activities.

One activity we could not miss, however, was held on Sunday, June 3rd. It was a kick-off event called “Fringe Sunday.” Festival participants were all invited to perform a sixty-second blurb from their perspective productions, in order to generate interest and potential audience membership. Not every production was represented in the event, as some participants were still traveling. We arrived early to ensure seating. The event took place one floor below where Roswell was to be performed, so we took the opportunity to investigate our space. The cordoned off area for our stage was as described, but there seemed to be a lot of open space apart from the stage and seating. The simple lighting was hung, and the black curtains creating the proscenium stage were placed accordingly.

There were no side entrances for wings, and the audience would be able to see people coming and going. Entrances would have to be made from the rear of the stage, and props

69 Texas Tech University, Page Petrucka, December 2014 had to be placed behind the rear black curtain. No changes would have to be made in the script to accommodate this setting, only adjustments to blocking and placement of props.

Before and after the event, we met many actors and performers from all over the world. We also exchanged postcards with other festival participants. Our cast formed a friendship with a performing company from England called Precious Cargo, and we agreed to support each other’s upcoming productions. Fringe Sunday lasted about ninety minutes, and we were introduced to several different productions, all of which appeared to be unique and interesting. For Roswell’s sixty-second blurb, I selected the following portion of scene two:

TALI Everyone hurry and pack an overnight bag. We gotta get on the road pretty quick.

GEMMA Oooo - a road trip! Where we goin’?

TALI That is a surprise! But I will tell you this, we’re takin’ the RV!

MIRA Tali, is this a surprise I’m going to enjoy?

TALI You’re both gonna love it.

MIRA How long of a drive are we talking?

TALI Not too long.

GEMMA Will we get cell phone reception where we’re headin’? In case the boys need to get a hold of me.

TALI Oh yeah. Come on you two, let’s get going.

70 Texas Tech University, Page Petrucka, December 2014

MIRA I guess a little road trip will be nice. At least it’s not to Roswell. It’s not to Roswell, is it?

TALI Roswell? No.

MIRA Tali? Where are we going?

TALI I can’t say, because it will blow the surprise.

MIRA I don’t believe it.

GEMMA Did I miss something?

MIRA We’re going to Roswell.

GEMMA We are?

TALI I didn’t say that!

MIRA You don’t have to.

GEMMA Wait, where are we going?

MIRA I’m not stepping foot onto that RV until you tell me where we are going.

TALI I really don’t want to--

MIRA Tali. Are we going to Roswell?

TALI (Sheepishly) We’re going to Roswell.

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The banter between the three in this section is fast paced and fun. It offers a glimpse into the unique characterizations of the sisters. Judging by the laughing and applause afterwards, Roswell seemed to be well received by the other attendees.

We rehearsed daily during the week before our opening. Strange offered suggestions and critiques consistent with Rogers’ vision of the play, and this made the transition between directors comfortable and seamless. Additionally, during this week we advertised the play as much as possible. I attended fourteen of the thirty-seven productions featured that year. I brought postcards to all the performances, handed them out to audiences, and talked to other cast members, all in an effort to generate interest in

Roswell.

On the day of our first performance, Festival producers gave us a four-hour block of time in the early afternoon to rehearse in the space. This also gave us a chance to meet our stage manager, discuss lighting, practice sound cues and finalize entrances and exits.

Our stage manager was knowledgeable and professional. She knew the ropes well, as she had worked for the Festival for several years prior.

After negotiating the technical aspects of the production, we ran through the play in its entirety. This included sound cues, light cues, entrances and exits. It helped us to work out all the hitches and allowed us to get comfortable in the space. Afterwards, to my surprise, the stage manager commented on how much she liked the script and our performances. She also said she would be mentioning the play to her friends, and planned to invite them to come to the next performance.

Doors opened at 5:00 pm, but most of the audience didn’t arrive until around

5:20. We didn’t have a full house, but many of the seats were filled, and we were pleased

72 Texas Tech University, Page Petrucka, December 2014 with the attendance. That first performance was so thrilling for me. To take a seedling of an idea and turn it into a play, to do all the work associated with getting it produced, and then to have the rare occasion to perform it internationally, was beyond what I could have hoped and dreamed. I don’t recall any flubbed lines or blocking, I only recall the incredible feeling of pride and gratitude to all those who helped make this possible.

Audience response was similar to what we’d experienced in Lubbock. After the performance, I visited with those who attended, and so many expressed their love for the story and the characters. Once again, some audience members were overcome with emotion. They expressed their appreciation for the true-to-life family dynamics and the delicate balance between drama and comedy that the script offered. We were also praised for the strength of the acting ensemble.

The next night, audience size was about the same. Members of Precious Cargo were in attendance, along with Festival co-producer Carole Wears and other friends we had made during the week. Buoyed up by the positive responses from the night before, we performed without any problems. We all thoroughly enjoyed being on stage together.

In the final scene, one of the alien headbands broke again, but this time we were prepared to adlib through it. The audience seemed to be deeply invested in the story. They laughed at all the right places, and I even heard a few sniffles at one point.

Afterwards, I again met with people overcome with emotion. One sweet man from the Precious Cargo cast couldn’t even talk through his tears. I was unable to visit with Mrs. Wears at that time, but I met up with her later. Her comment was one I will never forget. She said to me, “That was one of the most lovely shows I’ve ever seen at the Fringe.” After ten years of producing the Festival and viewing hundreds of shows, she

73 Texas Tech University, Page Petrucka, December 2014 felt that mine was one of the most “lovely.” I felt honored and thankful to have received such a compliment.

As I review the comments made by audience members in Lubbock and Prague, and the individual thoughts shared with me by our stage manager and the Festival co- producer, I am convinced that Roswell was on the right track in creating a re-imagined vision of single women. While these comments do not appear to be directly related to the single woman’s narrative, an argument can be made that there exists an indirect correlation. Take Rogers’ comments, for example:

The funny thing is, I never really thought of this play as being about ‘the single woman’ - which is a good thing, I think. It's a story about sisters. It just so happens that none of them (at this particular moment) is actually married… How nice is this? The single woman is not portrayed as some crazy old cat lady, nor a spinster librarian, nor a man-hating lesbian. These are three very ‘normal’ women (whatever that means) at different stages in life and career, trying to connect with and understand each other. In some way, this makes all of them very relatable. (Rogers)

Lovely, emotional, moving, and funny are all words that tell me that the single woman’s narrative does not always have to revolve around searching for a spouse. Single women can have careers, challenges, trials, successes, but they do not need to be viewed as incomplete if they never marry. They can be flawed, human, religious, or scientific, and still be, as Rogers says, relatable.

Performing a play I created in the Prague Fringe Festival has been one of my greatest theatrical experiences to date. It was thrilling to present a narrative that brought laughter and tears to audiences, both nationally and internationally. But every experience is a learning one, and there are elements I would reconsider if given the opportunity to write for the Festival again. From a playwriting standpoint, I would perhaps create a play with greater international accessibility. While I believe the narrative of single women,

74 Texas Tech University, Page Petrucka, December 2014 family dynamics, and relationships presented in the script are universal, the location and references to both Lubbock and Roswell are not. This future play could occur in a non- specified setting, one that any audience could understand and relate to. In order to overcome any potential language barriers, I may consider incorporating a movement or even music element into the production. I would, however, maintain the balance of drama with humorous elements, because that combination appeared to be the most well received of the Fringe shows.

From a production standpoint, I would most certainly offer more performances, preferably in the middle the Festival week. It would give more observers a chance to see my work. I would rehearse the week before the Festival opened, and leave the first few days open to attend productions other than my own. I would also print up posters in addition to the postcards. I would get my play on a recommendation email, sent out by

Festival co-producers before the opening of the Festival. And, I would see if I could get the play produced in another location first, so I could incorporate quotes and reviews of the play into the advertising materials.

A few months after my return from Prague, the Texas Educational Theatre

Association (TETA) was accepting play submissions for their upcoming conference.

Winners would receive a cash award and an opportunity to perform the play at the TETA

Conference in January, 2013. Plays could not exceed sixty minutes in length. The deadline for submission was October 1, 2012, and winners would be notified sometime in

November in order to prepare for the January performance.

Roswell seemed the perfect play to submit. I would not have to make any changes to the script, as it was already the right length. Plus, it contained appropriate location

75 Texas Tech University, Page Petrucka, December 2014 references that could be understood without difficulty by Texas audiences. I would have to recast the role of Mira, as Uebelhart was out on maternity leave, but the rest of the cast and crew agreed to participate in rehearsals and performance should my play win.

On October 31, 2012, I received an email from David Crawford, chair of TETA’s

PlayFest, notifying me that my play was one of two winning submissions. I was officially invited to perform Roswell on Saturday, January 26, 2013, in Houston, Texas. Crawford also attached critiques from three different anonymous evaluators, and encouraged me to consider them, should I choose to do any rewriting.

Evaluations of the script followed Aristotle’s six elements of tragedy, and categories included structure, character, thought, diction, melody and spectacle. I was pleased to see that the evaluations spoke clearly, albeit indirectly, to the strength of the play’s narrative, for my strongest scores were in character development. Comments included “All characters are believable and relatable,” “I liked the characters and thought they were well developed,” and “I enjoyed the interaction between the sisters and there were some very funny lines… The characters were vivid.”

Remarks in other areas included “Dialogue was very solid,” “Clear dialogue and direction,” “Some very good moments between the characters,” “I liked the structure of the play,” “All actors changed through the course of the play at a great pace,” and “The language flow was written well, there were no awkward moments in speech…” However, the evaluators did offer some suggestions to strengthen the script. One felt as though the aspect of religion in the play should either be fully explored or left out entirely. Another didn’t care for the ambiguity of whether or not Mira actually saw the mysterious lights in

76 Texas Tech University, Page Petrucka, December 2014 the sky in the final scene. The final evaluator questioned the link I was trying to suggest between aliens and religion.

I was surprised to receive such positive comments in the category of spectacle.

Because Roswell was conceived as a traveling show, the sets were intended to be simple, so my written stage directions didn’t mention embellishments or adornments. But this didn’t bother the evaluators in the least. They commented that they had no problems

“visualizing [the] play on the stage.” The limited set allowed them to “visualize the flatness of the land and the magnificence of the sky.” I appreciated all of these comments, and should I expand and rewrite Roswell in the future, I will weigh them heavily to see if they fit into my vision of the play.

Deciding who should fill the vacant role of Mira wasn’t difficult at all. There would be no better person to take over than the woman who had been with us on this journey from the beginning. It took a bit of convincing due to her other commitments, but in the end, Kristen Rogers graciously stepped in to play Mira.

Pick up rehearsals didn’t start until the beginning of January, giving Rogers ample time to memorize her character lines. Our stage size was considerably bigger than in

Prague. This meant we could move about the stage a little easier; however, we still kept the same basic shape and movement to our blocking. If I had access to a run crew and transportation capabilities, I may have considered adding additional set pieces and props, but I knew they were not necessary to tell our story.

The morning of our performance, we were given the space for a few hours to meet our stage manager, set our lighting and sound cues, and run the play. At 12:00 pm, our performance began. We had approximately 100 people in attendance, our largest to date.

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Once again, the audience was very responsive, with lots of laughs and audible sniffles during the play’s final scene. Afterwards, David Crawford brought me back onto the stage, awarded me with a certificate, and invited the audience to stay for a talk back session with the cast and playwright.

Questions were directed mostly to me, due to the fact that I was the playwright.

Originally, I intended to write them all down so I could reference them later; however, they came in fast and furiously, and I had little time to make any notes. Most of them had to do with acting (how do you cry on stage, how do you keep a straight face when something funny is said, etc.), but there were a few about playwriting. One audience member wondered how I went about incorporating such funny lines into very dramatic moments. I responded by stating the importance of keeping the situations real and authentic, and that we could all relate to family arguments that turn funny at the drop of a hat.

After the talk back, I visited with audience members, and many continued to offer positive reviews and even thanked me for writing the play. One woman pulled the other cast members aside and wept uncontrollably as she related the similarities in her own life to the ones she had seen portrayed in Roswell. She was overwhelmed with emotion, but so glad she chose to attend that day. She spoke of her favorite aunt, a single woman, who passed away from cancer when she was young, the same age Mira was when she lost her mother. She and I visited later in the day, once she had regained control of her emotions.

She thanked me for writing the play and encouraged me to keep writing and submitting my work to festivals and conferences.

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I feel honored to have had the opportunity to perform Roswell on two different continents, in front of two very different audiences. What is even more thrilling for me, though, is the realization that this story has a universality to it. The subtle message that single women can be successful in careers, in relationships, and in life was welcomed and appreciated.

One final note concerning the production of Roswell: I wish to make mention that the success of this play should be credited to the quality and commitment of director and performer Kristen Rogers, dramaturg Jared Strange, and cast members Andria Baisley and Lori Uebelhart. Without them, this process would not have been as successful or as enjoyable. I consider myself fortunate to have worked with such a fine group of individuals, and I appreciate their sacrifices in order to bring Roswell to life.

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CHAPTER V

EVALUATING THE NARRATIVE

The status of women has slowly been changing over the past several decades, due in part to the feminist movement that began in the 1970s. Feminist criticism brought into the public’s eye an awareness of women from different races, backgrounds, and sexual preferences. It has identified inequality in the general workforce as well as in the theatre community. In spite of these changes, however, the narrative of single women as expressed in contemporary playwriting practices has received very little attention. The dominant social framing of single women has remained almost frozen in time as the dramatic portrayal of these women continues to resemble their 1940s counterparts. They are presented as women desperate for companionship, overly emotional, and stereotypically selfish or selfless. They also contribute little to the working world.

An examination of the self-narrative approach to therapy practices has revealed that in order to change a negative narrative, we must “…re-experience, re-live, re-create, re-tell, re-construct, and refashion our culture” (Bruner 11). In other words, we must re- story. As we re-story, we help transition from inaccurate societal beliefs and stereotypes towards emotional truths and realities.

I wrote Blood is Thicker Than Roswell and The Calendar as an endeavor to re- story the narrative of single women. In this chapter, I utilize the rubric introduced in

Chapter II as a mode of evaluating the single female characters in both of my plays. From

The Calendar, I examine Kate, the story’s protagonist. From Roswell, I evaluate Tali, the oldest of the three sisters. She is the character I wrote for myself, and the one I most identify with. As a reminder, the established rubric is as follows:

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1. Is the character’s sole motivation to find romantic love? 2. Is she more emotional than rational? 3. Does she have little in the way of career aspirations? 4. Is she either totally selfless or sinfully selfish?

After the assessment, I will also express what changes, if any, I would make to the narrative in future rewrites and why.

Kate, the protagonist in The Calendar, is a single woman approaching forty. She is emotionally exhausted from hearing society’s suggestions for finding a spouse, and reaches her breaking point after encountering a calendar that guarantees true love in one year’s time. She accepts the challenge, but not because she expects the guarantee to work.

Instead, she sets out on a journey to prove the calendar creators wrong, and teach those around her that no one can put a timetable on finding true love.

Is Kate’s sole motivation to find true love? Prior to the calendar challenge, we don’t know what her life’s motivation has been. There is perhaps a clue that she has been looking for romance for a while, in an exchange between herself and sister-in-law Riley.

KATE Someone, some stranger, guaranteed I’d find a soul mate in a year if I did twelve things.

RILEY Maybe those are twelve pretty amazing suggestions.

KATE Don’t you think I’ve tried them all by now? You, of all people, know that I have read every book, followed every piece of advice--

RILEY Climbed every mountain, forged every stream.

KATE --Followed every rainbow, and I still have not found my dream.

When it comes to romance, it appears from this exchange that Kate has tried it all before

81 Texas Tech University, Page Petrucka, December 2014 and has come up empty handed. This may not have been her life’s motivation, but it certainly demonstrates it has been a focus. However, once she finds the calendar in the bookstore, she sets out to prove the calendar creators wrong. She says:

I’m tired of the false hopes that appear on web sites, commercials, and now even on a calendar. This time I have a chance to speak up, sort of. Guarantees and promises don’t work. I’m going to do this, get my money back, and prove to them once and for all that no one can put a guarantee on love. (20)

When her brother questions her motives, she responds, “I am going to follow these twelve stupid steps and get my money back at the end of next year” (22). It is this motivation that prompts Kate’s yearlong journey that takes us through the rest of the play. Kate’s sole motivation is not the search for romantic love, but in fact the opposite.

She intends to prove that after all the suggestions, changes, and promises, love’s timetable cannot be forced or even predicted. It happens when it happens. And for some of us, it takes a very long time.

The next consideration is the question as to whether or not Kate is more emotional than rational. It appears that purchasing the calendar in the first place was an emotional decision, prompted by frustration rather than logic. She rationalizes the purchase, and tries to turn it into a rational, logical course of action. Kate claims the purchase was made in order to prove a point. However, when it comes down to it, she confesses to her brother that she doesn’t want to be a “bitter spinster” by the time she is forty.

Another action driven by emotion is found in Act I Scene VI, when Kate takes a kickboxing class led by her sister-in-law Riley. Kate attempts to use the workout as an opportunity to open up to the men also attending the class. She works out next to a man who is clearly not interested in her, but she attempts conversation anyway. As the scene

82 Texas Tech University, Page Petrucka, December 2014 progresses, the man kicks Kate in the arm and doesn’t even realize he has done so. This angers her, and in retaliation, she places a well-aimed kick at the man’s nether region and levels him. Later, Riley asks Kate what happened, and she responds:

It’s not about the fact that he kicked me. It’s that he didn’t even notice what he’d done. He was so interested in gawking at every other woman in the room, especially you... he made physical contact with me, coincidentally a woman also, and didn’t even know it. I was that insignificant. (46)

There is no doubt that this is a reaction driven by emotion, not logic.

However, when we consider the events of the final few scenes of the play, we see a woman who is equally capable of making rational decisions as well as emotional ones.

She plans to take a solo vacation in the final calendar month to celebrate her still- singleness, and mentions this to others. She volunteers at a woman’s shelter on

Thanksgiving and meets a woman who has fallen on hard times. She learns of a program where community members can financially sponsor these women in order to help them get back on their feet. Kate is drawn to this woman for some reason and decides to give the money she would have spent on her vacation to the woman in need. Some may argue that this too is a reaction driven by emotion. Personally, I see it as a choice made by a rational woman: a woman who has grown over the past year, who decides to do better things with her money rather than spend it on a frivolous trip with no purpose other than to thumb her nose at the calendar makers. This is a logical choice for Kate, and it demonstrates that she is not a slave to her emotions.

As for her career aspirations, we learn in the first scene of the play that Kate is an apartment manager. She appears to be successful, as she owns half of a twin home while her brother owns the other half. She also owns a convertible car, although we don’t know

83 Texas Tech University, Page Petrucka, December 2014 the make and model. There is no mention in the play of her experiencing any financial hardships. And, she is able to offer a generous financial contribution to the woman in the shelter near the end of the calendar year. Kate is most definitely a contributing member of

America’s working class. We don’t know if being an apartment manager can necessarily be considered an “aspiration” as per the rubric. Nevertheless, it is the career she has maintained and is supporting herself with.

The last question to address is whether Kate is sinfully selfish or totally selfless.

As I examine the events of the play closely, I do not see Kate as one extreme or the other, as signified by the rubric. She is more middle ground, capable of being both selfless and selfish. She actually begins the play as somewhat of a selfish woman and then slowly becomes someone a little more selfless. Kate is one who changes, perhaps even improves, with time. One example that has already been referred to is the vacation she was planning on taking in the month of December. This final calendar quest was initially intended to fulfill a selfish notion; a way to demonstrate that she was still single and celebrating that fact. But by taking the money she would have spent and donating it to someone in need, the quest turned into an act of total selflessness.

Another example of this change is the remote control principle Kate refers to in

Act II, Scene II. Riley asks Kate what she is looking for in a spouse, and their conversation progresses as follows:

KATE You know, a long time ago, I made one of those lists with all the qualities I was looking for in a guy. But it’s changed over the years. Gotten considerably smaller. Now it just says one thing.

RILEY What’s that?

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KATE He has to be willing to share the remote control.

RILEY I think your expectations are way too high.

KATE They are not! If he shares the remote control, it means he is willing to compromise in life.

RILEY Where did you come up with that one? Rob doesn’t share the remote, and he’s a wonderful husband.

KATE But I’ve been single most of my life. I’ve had sole possession of the remote. And I’m not relinquishing that power completely. He’s got to share.

The change in Kate’s attitude towards the remote control can be witnessed in the final scene of the play. While standing in line at the bookstore to return the calendar, she meets a man named Justin. The two seem to click, and then the conversation turns to “deal breakers.”

KATE How do you feel about sharing the remote control to your TV?

MAN 3 (JUSTIN) With my kids? Are you kidding?

KATE What about sharing the remote with, say, another adult? How do you feel about that?

MAN 3 (JUSTIN) I’m not sure. How do you feel about NOT sharing the remote?

KATE I’m not sure. Being single, did you ever imagine deal breakers?

MAN 3 (JUSTIN) Sure did. (Pause.) How do you feel about dogs?

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KATE I’m not sure. How do you feel about people who are not sure about dogs?

MAN 3 (JUSTIN) I’m not sure.

This playful exchange, while intended to bring the “deal breakers” to the foreground, also demonstrates a willingness to compromise with the right person. A quality that would once clearly eliminate a potential spouse doesn’t seem as important when other, more important puzzle pieces seemingly fit rather nicely. Kate begins with a non- compromising attitude towards the remote, but upon meeting someone she has chemistry with, becomes a little less selfish and a little more open-minded. These examples demonstrate that Kate is neither sinfully selfish nor totally selfless. Like most of us, she falls somewhere in the middle.

Does Kate’s narrative resemble that of a single female as written in plays pre-

1940s? She claims she is motivated to take the calendar challenge by frustration and retaliation of sorts. But secretly does she hope to find true love? That’s what her brother thinks, and tells her as much. She confesses that she doesn’t want to be a bitter spinster.

But is she already? Granted she is unhappy as the play begins. She is also sarcastic, but not overly so. And she is self-deprecating enough to take on a challenge that will, in her mind, likely result in failure. She appears hopeful at times as she begins to meet men from scene to scene, but as each attempt turns sour, she becomes more and more resigned to the fact that she will still be single by year’s end. She is successful in her career, and does not exemplify one extreme characteristic or another. Instead, she possesses elements of both selflessness and selfishness, rational and emotional behavior. It is for these reasons I believe Kate is not a reincarnation of the single female character from the

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1940s, but is one who has evolved in order to share a different narrative.

Roswell is a story about three single sisters who must set aside their personal beliefs in order to pull together during a family crisis. As I have previously expressed, my intent was to write a play where singleness was accepted; where societal or even familial pressures to get married do not exist. I wanted to create a world where three adult siblings could interact with each other without spouses or significant others. Instead, I focused the play’s conflict around belief: belief in religion, science, and even extra terrestrials.

Tali is the oldest of three sisters, all single, and all in their mid to late forties.

Middle sister Gemma, lives a few hours away in Albuquerque, New Mexico. And youngest sister Mira lives several states away in Pasadena, California. The three of them have not seen each other in a few years, since their father’s funeral. Tali offers to host a bridal shower weekend for Mira, giving the three an opportunity to put their differences aside and spend some time together.

Tali’s sole motivation in this play has nothing to do with romantic love. The sisters do talk of dating and men; however, Tali all but admits that for her, that ship has sailed. And incidentally, she is fine with it. Her motivation is centered on her sister Mira, who Tali believes has lost her way when it comes to faith and belief. The death of their parents seems to have been the catalyst that pushed Mira away from all things religious.

This caused a rift between the two. But now Tali is battling a life-threatening illness, and she cannot die without at least trying to convince Mira to get back some of the faith she had as a young girl, faith that when Tali eventually dies, they will see each other again.

This is what is driving Tali throughout the majority of the play, not the search for romantic love.

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As to the next consideration in the rubric, I do not believe it can be said of Tali that she is more emotional than rational. She is perfectly capable of both, and demonstrates this throughout the course of the play. In her rational mind, Mira has lost her faith, and the only way to get it back is for Tali to inundate her with images, stories, and locations that will remind her of who she once was. Mira hates the town of Lubbock, so Tali brings her back to remember the good times they had together. Mira loathes

Roswell, so they take a trip together to prove that it really is a magical place. Mira doesn’t believe in life after death, so Tali tries to find some way of convincing her of it.

For Tali, these are all seemingly rational, logical actions that will aid in her quest to help her sister.

While Tali is not overly emotional throughout the play, she does exhibit moments of tenderness and love. One of my favorite emotional moments between Tali and Mira is in the final scene of the play. During the following exchange, Tali tries to change Mira’s mind about life after death.

TALI I got a question for ya. What happens when a star dies?

MIRA It depends on the size of a star.

TALI Okay, let’s say a big star. Huge. What happens when it dies?

MIRA It causes a supernova.

TALI What’s that?

MIRA It’s when the star explodes in a very violent, powerful, spectacular manner. Like Fourth of July fireworks. But a whole lot bigger.

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TALI Then what happens?

MIRA It leaves behind a black hole...

TALI What about the little particles left behind, after the explosion?

MIRA Have you been watching the Discovery Channel?

TALI Maybe.

MIRA Then you don’t need me to tell you.

TALI Yes, I do. Come on, now.

MIRA After a star erupts and causes a supernova, the material and matter left behind begin to form new stars.

TALI Now, that is interesting, isn’t it?

MIRA What do you mean by that?

TALI A star dies, but in a sense, it doesn’t, really. Kind of like us. We are born, we live, we die, but a part of us lives on, whether it’s through our offspring or if we don’t have any kids, through memories. So we don’t ever really go away. That’s a pretty neat little system, isn’t it?

Tali begins this discussion by reaching out to Mira in scientific terms she can understand.

However, it becomes emotional and powerful when Tali uses the star analogy to remind her sister that life really does continue, even after death. This is a rare moment of emotion for Tali, but one that shows she is adept and able to act both rationally and emotionally.

Career aspirations for Tali are not mentioned in the play primarily because of the

89 Texas Tech University, Page Petrucka, December 2014 constraints on the script length, which does prove to be a challenge when analyzing this particular aspect of the rubric. However, I did create a colorful character history for Tali before writing the play. Included in this character history are previous educational pursuits, current employment details, and even hobbies. In order to utilize all the points of the rubric, I wish to include her character history in this analysis. Should I ever choose to expand the script, I intend to work these pieces of information into the dialogue.

Tali received her associates degree from a local community college and became a medical transcriptionist. She chose this type of employment so she could work from home and care for her ailing father. After his death, she continued to live in her childhood home. At present, she earns enough to support herself, but her interests lie elsewhere. She spends hours on the Internet both in search of UFO sightings and in communication with other believers in extra terrestrials. She faithfully attends the annual Fourth of July

Celebration in Roswell, New Mexico, which commemorates the 1947 sighting near

Roswell. And she writes fan fiction for her Roswell on-line community. Her passion for all things extra terrestrial may not necessarily reflect a career aspiration as listed in the rubric. But then again, her search for life outside this solar system is an aspiration as real as any career, and perhaps may one day lead to something more lucrative for her.

As to the final question of whether Tali is excessively selfish or selfless, at first glance, it appears she exemplifies overly selfish behavior, especially when it comes to her sister Mira. In the first scene of the play Tali initiates a game she calls “This is Your

Life,” which is really a retelling and somewhat fictionalized account of the Roswell incident: a story she knows Mira despises. Tali tries to trick Mira into taking a trip to

Roswell by labeling it a “surprise.” And, she attempts to fill the role of wedding planner

90 Texas Tech University, Page Petrucka, December 2014 until Mira states unequivocally that her help is not necessary in the slightest.

However, upon closer examination of Tali’s life, we learn that her mother died when she was just a teenager. Tali had to grow up very quickly and took on a parental role of sorts for her younger siblings. As she grew older, she became the primary care giver to her ailing father, sacrificing career and possibly even relationships to do so.

And now, knowing she is battling a life threatening illness of her own, she feels it necessary to help Mira get back some of the faith she once had, so she will know that death really isn’t the end. Tali is not sinfully selfish or totally selfless. Rather, she demonstrates moderate behavioral moments of both.

Tali is a strong, independent woman. Her motivations lie within the family she was born into. She is complete and whole, despite never marrying or having children. She exercises rational and emotional thought, and like most people, has moments of selfish and selfless behavior. Her narrative, different from those offered pre-1940, demonstrates that women do not need to be married in order to live a full, happy life.

As I conclude this look into the narrative of single women from a playwriting perspective, I wish to add a few final considerations about the two plays I have written.

Beginning first with Roswell, I do wonder if in my attempt to make singleness a non- issue it winds up being completely overlooked by audiences and readers. I set out to create a world where stereotyped single women do not exist, and one where women can be whole and complete without a spouse. But in so doing, will audiences miss this subtle message? Perhaps. And perhaps because of this, in future rewrites I will consider incorporating more dialogue centered around how each of the women feels about being single, or the circumstances that led them to their current single status. Gemma was

91 Texas Tech University, Page Petrucka, December 2014 married for a time and is now divorced. Is she enjoying the dating world again? Does she wish to marry again in the future? Why or why not? Mira is engaged to be married, but clearly put her career first until now. Why was her career so important to her? What sacrifices did she make in her personal life to become an aerospace engineer? Tali is perfectly content not ever having married, but never explains why. All of these questions and considerations can most certainly be used as a foundation to further develop the narrative of single women in Roswell. Perhaps, as the sisters share these answers with audiences, the single woman’s narrative will move from the background to the foreground while still maintaining the fact that for them, singleness truly is a non-issue.

The Calendar is a play intended to be about a single woman’s journey, not the end result. Kate was meant to find other, unexpected things throughout the calendar year that would give her fulfillment and joy, but not necessarily a spouse. For months, I wrestled with the question of whether or not Kate would finally meet someone. Either way, the play’s ending could be problematic. If she doesn’t meet anyone, will audiences be left feeling unsatisfied? If she does meet someone, does the very act of her marrying undermine the narrative I am attempting to alter?

In the end, I chose to have Kate meet someone she eventually marries. However, I am not convinced that this is the most suitable choice for her. Perhaps I will not discover what the right ending is until this play is up on its feet. Regardless, Kate’s life changed for the better, and she was a happier person in the final scene of the play. She made new friends, tried new things, stretched herself, and realized that one does not have to be married to be happy. Had she not learned this life lesson first, she may not have seen

Justin as a possibility.

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In the future, whichever ending I choose to incorporate should not negate the clear and present messages The Calendar offers to audiences. No one can put a timetable on true love. No promises, guarantees, or even advice offered by those with the best intentions can speed the process. Single and married alike are welcome to enjoy the benefits of the human experience. And we are all entitled to lead full, rich, and exciting lives.

Single women today are not the single women of the early 1900s. Our lived experiences tell stories with narratives that are vastly different from our predecessors.

This examination of our narratives provides readers with an awareness of the inaccuracies in representation. It also suggests to playwrights the need to write the realities and truths we understand with greater accuracy. And hopefully, it will eventually lead to an adjustment to the portrayals of single women on the theatrical stage.

As I continue to write and perform in the theatre over the coming years, I will carry on my efforts in re-storying single women. Our stories need to be heard. Our truths need to be known. I enthusiastically look towards the day when the most interesting thing about me is not my marital status, but the culmination of my career choices, exciting adventures, and my incredible relationships with extended family and lifelong friends.

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APPENDIX A

THE CALENDAR

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THE CALENDAR

by Page Petrucka

Copyright 2013, Page Petrucka

98 Texas Tech University, Page Petrucka, December 2014

CAST OF CHARACTERS

KATE: Woman, thirty nine.

RILEY: Woman, late thirties. KATE’S sister-in-law.

WOMAN 1: Sandy (KATE’S assistant), ensemble.

WOMAN 2: Lynn (Bookstore clerk), ensemble.

WOMAN 3: Customer 1, Jane, ensemble.

MAN 1: Rob (KATE’S older brother), ensemble.

MAN 2: Customer 2, Tenant, ensemble.

MAN 3: Mac (Mechanic Instructor), Lance, ensemble.

SCENE Minimal set pieces should be used to ensure quick scene changes. The play should be fluid and move quickly from scene to scene, without the use of blackouts.

TIME Present day. December. Utah.

99 Texas Tech University, Page Petrucka, December 2014

ACT ONE

SCENE ONE

(A few set pieces resembling an office are set stage left. A large screen visible to the audience is upstage center, and set on stage right is a couch with a few other small set pieces resembling a home. In the downstage right corner of KATE’S house is a small table, a laptop and a chair. These three pieces will remain in this spot during the length of the play. KATE enters, dressed in business casual attire, carrying a briefcase. She crosses stage left to her office. WOMAN 1 as SANDY is on stage.)

SANDY (Excited.) How was your lunch?

(KATE gives WOMAN 1 a look but says nothing.)

Oh no.

KATE Sandy, I have officially retired from set ups. No more. I’m done.

SANDY Why? Isn’t it better to keep your options open?

KATE Let me try to help you to understand something.

SANDY Okay.

KATE Come in here and sit down. When you buy a pair of shoes, do you usually look at them before you buy them?

SANDY (Confused.) What?

KATE Just answer the question.

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SANDY Well, yeah.

KATE Do you try them on?

SANDY You do recall shoe shopping with me, right?

KATE I do. You wear them around the store for a good ten minutes before you decide if they are comfortable enough.

SANDY (Still confused.) Where are you going with this?

KATE What other things do you look for when you shop for shoes?

SANDY I usually need a certain shoe for a certain outfit, so I look for the right color and the right style. I want them to look good and feel good.

KATE They have to look and feel good to YOU, right?

SANDY (Unsure.) Yes...

KATE Let’s say I know you are going out tonight. I decide I’m going to provide your shoes for you! Isn’t that nice of me?

SANDY I guess...

KATE It is. Really nice. So, I hand you a shoebox and tell you that you HAVE to wear what’s inside. But here’s the catch. You can’t open the box and put on the shoes until you are heading out the door.

SANDY They’re not going to match my outfit. I know your taste in shoes.

KATE Doesn’t matter.

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SANDY What if they are totally uncomfortable?

KATE Sorry, you gotta wear them. For at least three hours.

SANDY (Thinking.) What if I hate them?

KATE That is just too bad. You have to wear them.

SANDY (Firm.) I wouldn’t do it.

KATE Exactly. So why should I go out on any more blind dates?

SANDY Wow. I didn’t see that one coming.

KATE Understand now?

SANDY I do, actually.

KATE Good. Thanks for playing along.

SANDY You’re welcome. But from now on I’m going to be very afraid of any gifts you give me. Oh, hey, don’t you have that appointment in like fifteen minutes?

KATE What?

SANDY Remember you said you had to leave early today because you had an appointment?

KATE (Remembering.) Right! My "appointment." I’m going to get going now, so I’m not late for my "appointment."

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SANDY I’m totally glad I reminded you.

KATE So am I. Thank you.

(MAN 2 as TENANT enters in a huff.)

TENANT (Angrily.) Where’s the manager?

KATE That’s me. What’s the problem?

TENANT My friend got a boot on his car last night and I need you to do something about it.

KATE What would you like me to do about it?

TENANT (Sarcastic.) Oh, I don’t know. Let me think about it. Ah, take the boot off?!

KATE Why did he get booted in the first place?

TENANT I don’t know! He came over last night to hang out, parked in visitor parking, and then got a boot.

SANDY That doesn’t seem right.

TENANT No, it doesn’t!

KATE I find that hard to believe. He got a boot while parked legally, in visitor parking.

TENANT He was practically there. He was two stalls away.

KATE So, he wasn’t parked in visitor parking and he got a boot.

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TENANT All the visitor stalls were taken!

KATE Not my problem.

TENANT Oh, come on!

SANDY Your friend kinda parked illegally.

TENANT Yes, but--

KATE (Feigning sympathy.) I’m so sorry! Can’t help ya.

(KATE has her things gathered, and is getting ready to leave the office.)

TENANT Come on! It’s Christmas! My friend doesn’t have an extra fifty bucks!

KATE Who does? Listen, there really isn’t anything I can do about it. Sandy, I’m heading out for my "appointment." I’ll see you tomorrow.

SANDY See ya boss!

TENANT How do you live with yourself?

KATE It’s not easy, I gotta say. But I manage.

(Lights fade at the office and come up center stage as KATE crosses to her home. Her cell phone rings, and as she answers it, she flops down on her couch.)

KATE Hello? Yes, I’m home early. Because I’m sick--well, not really sick, just tired. Bad day? Sure. Bad week, bad month, bad year, bad decade. No, I don’t want to talk about it. No. I just want to lie here on the couch and look at the back of my eyelids.

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(A knock is heard offstage.)

Why are you knocking? I said I’m not here.

(The doorbell rings, and another knock.)

UGH. You’re getting out your key, aren’t you? Come on, don’t open the door. I really want to be alone right now.

(RILEY enters talking on her cell phone. She stands at the end of the couch where KATE’S feet are.)

Hello Riley, my dear sister-in-law and friend. Why don’t you come on in?

(The two continue to talk on their cell phones, even though they are in the same room.)

RILEY You’re home early from work. You’re never home early from work. Let’s go shopping or something. It might cheer you up!

KATE I don’t want to be cheered up.

RILEY Then let’s go get something to eat. I’m buying.

KATE You mean my brother’s buying. (RILEY taps KATE’S legs to get her to move them. RILEY sits at the end of the couch, and KATE puts her feet back up.)

RILEY Same thing. Look, I spent the morning cleaning, taught my class at noon. And NOW I’m ready to spend the rest of the day with my favorite sister-in-law.

KATE I’m your only sister-in-law.

RILEY If you keep up this negativity, I’m going to hang up on you.

KATE You wouldn’t dare.

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RILEY Oh yeah? And why not?

KATE Because I’m hanging up first.

(KATE makes a grand gesture of hanging up the phone. RILEY acts shocked.)

RILEY I can’t believe you did that! I cannot BELIEVE you would hang up on family.

KATE Believe it.

RILEY What’s wrong? You’ve been so down. Everyone has noticed it.

KATE (Sitting up.) That’s just great. Everyone knows that I’m a depressed, single, bitter woman--

RILEY Talk to me, goose. What’s going on?

KATE What do you think?

RILEY Hm. I left my crystal ball in my other jeans, but let me take a crack at it. You had a birthday yesterday--

KATE Happy Birthday to me.

RILEY And you turned thirty-nine.

KATE Here we go--

RILEY Which means, if my math is right--

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KATE Don’t say it.

RILEY Next year you turn forty!

KATE She said it. Why, Riley? Why did we have to go there?

RILEY It doesn’t mean anything. It’s just another birthday.

KATE It’s my worst nightmare.

RILEY Why?

KATE If I get to forty still single, it will mean one thing. I’m a failure.

RILEY That’s not true! You’ve accomplished so much!

KATE But not the things I wanted to by forty.

RILEY I know.

KATE And with Christmas coming up next week... I just feel so alone. Before you say "you’re not alone," I really am. Yes, I have family and friends, thank goodness for that. But every night I climb into bed and curl up to a purple foam pillow. And that, of course, makes everything better, doesn’t it? If I have a bad dream in the middle of the night, I wake up to a dark, empty room with no one to put their arms around me and tell me everything is going to be okay. And in the morning when my alarm goes off, I reach over, hit the snooze, and instantly acknowledge that I have to face yet another day... alone.

(After a long pause, RILEY starts to speak.)

RILEY Every night, I climb into bed absolutely exhausted from picking up after three kids.

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KATE You only have two.

RILEY Your brother included.

KATE Fair enough.

RILEY No interrupting.

KATE Sorry.

RILEY You’re forgiven. I climb into bed to a snoring husband who happens to have all the covers on his side. I turn out the lights, grateful that it is the end of the day and I can finally get some sleep.

I awake in the middle of the night to a teenager who has just thrown up all over the bathroom and is terribly sick. I get her taken care of, get the bathroom cleaned up, and head downstairs to start a load of laundry.

Now I’m REALLY tired. In fact, I’m too tired to go back upstairs, so I fall asleep on the couch, and somehow, I don’t mind. Then, at the crack of dawn, I hear Rob running around upstairs yelling at the top of his lungs "Where’s my wife? Where’s my wife?" See, he hasn’t bothered to look downstairs for me. Both the girls wake up, your niece is feeling much better by the way, and all three run downstairs and find me on the couch. Rob says, "Now that we’re all up together, how about a nice big breakfast!" The girls agree, and I get to cook and clean for the rest of the morning.

(Pause.)

KATE That doesn’t happen every night.

RILEY No, it just happened last night, but it made a great story, didn’t it?

KATE The point is, you have three people to share your life with.

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RILEY The point is, that no matter what your life situation is, it’s tough. It’s not all peaches and cream when you’re married with kids.

KATE I never said it was.

RILEY No, you didn’t.

KATE HA! Got cha. Anyway, I was just trying to say that with a family, it isn’t lonely.

RILEY You don’t have to be alone to feel lonely. I even feel it sometimes.

KATE Really?

RILEY Yeah! So, there. Got cha back. And you’re right. There are a lot of people who love you.

KATE Crap.

RILEY What?

KATE I am feeling all warm and fuzzy. (Sarcastic.) Like my heart just grew three sizes today!

RILEY Jerk.

KATE My brother’s really lucky to have you.

RILEY I’m the lucky one! Now come on, let’s paint the town red.

KATE I’m really more of a black girl, myself.

109 Texas Tech University, Page Petrucka, December 2014

RILEY Whatever. You’re driving. And we’re putting the top down. Even if it is December.

KATE Fine by me.

(Both exit stage right.)

110 Texas Tech University, Page Petrucka, December 2014

ACT ONE

SCENE TWO

(Items resembling a bookstore are set center stage, with a checkout counter slightly off center left. WOMAN 2 as LYNN is standing behind the counter ringing up purchases. She has big hair, colorful glasses, and wears vibrant, colorful clothing. Next to the counter is a stand of calendars. MAN 2 and WOMAN 3 are standing in line ahead of KATE and RILEY. RILEY is holding a few items to purchase, and KATE is standing with her.)

RILEY Don’t you just love bookstores?

KATE They’re alright.

(RILEY’S cell phone alerts her.)

RILEY Hang on, I’m getting a text. It’s Rob.

(RILEY reads the text and responds. KATE, a little bored, notices the rack of calendars. She begins to look through them.)

KATE Calendars. Hm. Let’s see what we have here. Landscapes, kittens, mountains, cookies...

(KATE looks at one, and puzzles over it.)

"The Calendar of Love." What is this? "Twelve easy steps to help you find the love of your life. Guaranteed, or your money back." Are you serious?

RILEY You want to join us for dinner? Rob’s picking up pizza.

KATE Yeah, thanks.

(RILEY goes back to texting.)

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KATE (cont’d) Can you believe this? These people are actually guaranteeing you’ll find love if you follow some stupid suggestions. Which I’m SURE I’ve already tried.

RILEY Plain cheese, right?

KATE Yeah, this is ridiculous.

RILEY Extra sauce?

KATE Yes! Riley, look at this.

RILEY (Putting phone away.) What is it?

(During the conversation, KATE and RILEY are moving closer to the sales counter.)

KATE It’s a calendar that guarantees you’ll find your true love, your soul mate by following twelve steps, one each month it looks like.

RILEY Sounds interesting. Are you going to try it?

KATE Am I going to try it? You’re kidding, right?

(The two have reached the front of the line, and LYNN addresses them.)

LYNN (New York dialect.) Hi, and thank you for shopping Buy Rite Books. How can I help you today?

(RILEY hands her items to LYNN, but continues to address KATE.)

RILEY No, I mean, why not? Can’t hurt, can it?

112 Texas Tech University, Page Petrucka, December 2014

LYNN Oh, this is a terrific book. I just loved reading it. I really think you’re gonna enjoy it.

(RILEY turns to LYNN and the two of them have a conversation, leaving KATE to complain behind them, almost to herself.)

KATE That’s not the point. It’s just... INCREDIBLE...that someone would put a guarantee like that on a calendar.

RILEY You think so?

LYNN Oh yeah. It’s best when you read it curled up on your couch in your jammies, with a warm, fuzzy blanket and a large cup of tomato soup.

RILEY I love tomato soup!

LYNN Oh, honey, so do I!

KATE (Still fuming.) I can’t believe your store would have the gall to sell something so... so...

LYNN Especially with those salty crackers!

KATE OFFENSIVE!

RILEY (To Kate.) You want it for Christmas?

KATE NO I don’t want it for Christmas. I want you to understand how utterly preposterous this whole thing is.

LYNN There you go. Thank you so much for coming in today. Enjoy! (To KATE.) I see that you have in your little hand our latest and most popular item!

113 Texas Tech University, Page Petrucka, December 2014

KATE What, this?

LYNN Oh yes. I believe you are holding the very last one.

KATE Seriously?

LYNN I bought one myself just yesterday. I knew we’d sell out of them. I’m so excited to give it a try!

KATE You’re kidding.

LYNN No, I’m not. So will this be everything for you today?

KATE I’m not wasting my money on this piece of crap.

LYNN It does have a money back guarantee.

KATE That’s not the point.

LYNN Sure it is! Just save your receipt and if at the end of next year you have followed all the steps and have NOT found your true love, well then just bring it back for a full refund. You’ve got nothing to lose, honey.

(Both LYNN and RILEY look at KATE.)

KATE You know what? I AM going to buy it. And I’m going to prove to these calendar people and the two of you that no one can put a guarantee on love.

LYNN (In sort of a whisper.) Well, not with that attitude--

KATE How much?

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LYNN That will be twenty-two fifty.

(KATE takes her wallet out and slams the money on the counter.)

KATE There you go. See you in a year.

LYNN Thank you SO much for shopping with us today. Enjoy the calendar, and happy holidays!

(KATE and RILEY cross down center as lights fade on the bookstore setting.)

RILEY Are you okay? Why did you get so upset back there?

KATE Someone, some stranger, guaranteed I’d find a soul mate in a year if I did twelve things.

RILEY Maybe those are twelve pretty amazing suggestions.

KATE Don’t you think I’ve tried them all by now? You, of all people, know that I have read every book, followed every piece of advice--

RILEY Climbed every mountain, forged every stream.

(Pause.)

KATE --Followed every rainbow, and I still have not found my dream. And for someone to guarantee something like this. Something that has so many variables, so many tiny puzzle pieces. No one has the right to make that kind of promise.

RILEY You’re right.

KATE I’m going to prove them wrong, Riley. Wait and see.

115 Texas Tech University, Page Petrucka, December 2014

ACT ONE SCENE THREE

(As KATE stands center stage holding the calendar as the bookstore behind her moves off. RILEY and LYNN have both exited. KATE crosses to her couch. She begins reading from the calendar.)

KATE "Twelve ways to find your true love. Guaranteed." I love that. GUARANTEED. Simply do exactly what the calendar suggests each month, and in one year you’re sure to find the love of your life." "It’s important also to keep a journal..." I knew there’d be a catch. "...of all your experiences. Record your adventures, write down names of people you meet, and take lots of pictures." I hate writing!

(KATE continues reading.)

"If you don’t like writing, try typing, or even keeping a video journal." A video journal?

(Looks at her computer, then back to the calendar.)

"Start recording your thoughts tonight. After all, there is no time like the present. And remember, a life without love is no life at all." I hate these people. I seriously hate them! Video journal, huh? What am I going to say?

(Reading again from the calendar.)

"And most importantly, believe."

(KATE starts laughing.)

Wow, that’s cheesy. I mean, I like cheese, but this is like rotten, stinky gouda cheese. It’s saying believe, but not what to believe in. What, believe that I’ll no longer be single next year? Believe that these people really have my best interests at heart? Or believe that in one year’s time, I will be reimbursed exactly twenty- two dollars and fifty cents? I’m going with the latter.

(KATE continues to look at the calendar when a knock is heard at her front door.)

Come in.

(MAN 1 as ROB enters.)

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ROB Hey sis. Riley asked me to come grab you for dinner.

KATE Thanks Rob.

(ROB notices the calendar.)

ROB What’s that?

KATE (Embarrassed.) Nothing.

ROB It’s not nothing, what is it?

(KATE tries to hide the calendar.)

KATE It’s just a calendar.

ROB If it’s just a calendar, then why are you trying to hide it?

KATE I’m not trying to hide it.

ROB Yes you are. What’s the big secret?

(ROB takes the calendar from KATE, but KATE keeps trying to get it back from him.)

KATE Give it back or else.

ROB Or else what?

KATE Or else-- I’m going to tell Mom.

ROB (Laughing.) You haven’t used that line in forever. You must really not want me to see it. (Reading from the calendar.) "Twelve easy steps to help you find...

117 Texas Tech University, Page Petrucka, December 2014

KATE Quit reading it!

ROB ...the love of your life." What is this crap?

KATE I told you, it’s a calendar.

(ROB hands KATE the calendar.)

ROB It’s more than that. Come on, spill it.

KATE Okay, fine. It’s this stupid thing I picked up at the bookstore today.

ROB If it’s so stupid, then why did you buy it?

KATE Because.

ROB Because, why? Come on, what’s this all about?

KATE UGH. I don’t know. I just… saw it and I got really, really angry.

ROB Why?

KATE Because it has a guarantee on it! It promises that you will find your soul mate by the end of next year.

ROB That’s ridiculous.

KATE I know!

ROB You still haven’t answered my question. Why did you buy it?

118 Texas Tech University, Page Petrucka, December 2014

KATE To prove these idiots wrong. I’m tired of the false hopes that appear on web sites, commercials, and now even on a calendar. This time I have a chance to speak up, sort of. Guarantees and promises don’t work. I’m going to do this, get my money back, and prove to them once and for all that no one can put a guarantee on love.

(Pause.)

ROB You sure this is the only reason you’re doing this?

KATE (Sheepishly.) Yes.

ROB You know, in the past few years, I’ve seen you try thing after thing, hoping to finally find someone. I think you’re doing it again.

KATE That’s not it!

ROB Come on.

KATE I want to prove these people wrong!

ROB I think secretly you’re holding out hope that this will actually work. Riley told me what you guys talked about today.

KATE What?

ROB Your birthday next year. Being forty and single.

(KATE is quiet.)

I think you’re putting too much pressure on yourself. There’s nothing wrong with not being married at forty.

KATE I don’t want to be an old spinster!

119 Texas Tech University, Page Petrucka, December 2014

ROB A what?

KATE A spinster. Old maid. Menace to society.

ROB You’re not any of those things.

KATE But I feel like it! I might as well get an old rocking chair, learn to crochet doilies, and put a "beware" sign on my front porch.

ROB You’ve been watching Little House on the Prairie again, haven’t you?

KATE Maybe.

ROB You’re imagining the worst. People don’t think of you like that. If you want to do this, fine. Just make sure you’re being honest with yourself.

KATE I am being honest.

ROB Fine. If that’s what you believe.

KATE It is.

ROB Just one more thing. I don’t know why it has taken you so long to find him. Or for him to find you. Whatever. All I know is you are a great person, and someday, right time right place, you’ll meet each other.

KATE You can’t be sure of that.

ROB Can too.

KATE How?

120 Texas Tech University, Page Petrucka, December 2014

ROB Because I’m your big brother. That’s how.

KATE You’ve been using that line for too long.

ROB And I don’t see it stopping in the near future. Are you sure you want to go through with this?

KATE Yes I am. I am going to follow these twelve stupid steps and get my money back at the end of next year.

ROB Well, if that’s what you want.

KATE It is what I want.

ROB Okay, fine.

KATE Fine.

ROB You are so stubborn.

KATE You are!

ROB I know you are but what am I?

KATE Man, we sound like we’re twelve!

ROB Come on. Pizza’s getting cold.

KATE I’ll be over in a minute.

(KATE makes sure ROB is off, then she goes over to computer and fiddles with it a little. She pushes a

121 Texas Tech University, Page Petrucka, December 2014

few buttons and adjusts it to start recording. She hits a button and starts talking.)

Hi. I’m Kate. (She hits a button and stops. She mocks herself.)

Well, I’m master of the obvious! What am I doing?

(She looks again at the calendar, and steels herself for what she is about to do. She hits a few more buttons and tries it again.)

How do I start? Captain’s log, star date 12345. Dear Diary. Hello one and all!

(She hits a few buttons and begins again. From here on out, she utilizes the computer and the audience as listeners.)

Welcome to my video journal. Keeping one has been thrust upon me, as I would prefer not to be doing something so "tweeny." But here we are. Everybody knows the three-strike rule in baseball, right? Three strikes, you’re out? I think the same can be said for marriage. I hit that third strike several years ago. That’s why I am thirty-nine and still single. Let me explain.

Did you know that ninety percent of the male population only dates ten percent of the female population? It’s true. I learned and lived that statistic as a freshman in college. What that means is the remaining ninety percent of women only have ten percent of the men to fight over. I’m in that ninety percent. Strike one. Strike two happened for me when I dropped the bouquet at my brother’s wedding. To try and cancel the effects, I attempted to catch another bouquet at a friend’s wedding six months later. I caught it! And then dropped that one too. Strike three, I’m single!

Years later, the ominous power of that frustrating statistic and those stinking bouquets continue to loom over me like a thick, black, storm cloud. These days everyone has a solution to finding true love. Today, I saw a calendar that guarantees success. Ridiculous, I know. But that’s why I’m talking to you. I bought it. And I’m going to prove to these hopeless, clueless romantics that love finds its way when and if it wants to. And there isn’t anything anyone can do to change that.

In order to get my money back at the end of the year, I have to follow twelve steps, one every month, and open myself up to meeting men. Let’s see what January has in store, shall we? Month one. Go to a dance! (Sarcastic) Now there’s a new idea. Oh, I am so excited! A wallflower at fifteen, and again at thirty-nine! Wo hoo! This is going to be so great.

122 Texas Tech University, Page Petrucka, December 2014

(More serious.)

I wonder if I can get Riley to go with me…

123 Texas Tech University, Page Petrucka, December 2014

ACT ONE

SCENE FOUR

(KATE crosses to stage left as her apartment furniture is removed and the stage is set for a dance. There are minimal set pieces brought on such as a table for refreshments and a disco ball of lights with 80s music in the background. RILEY enters stage left and joins KATE. She is dressed in 80s attire, and her hair is very large. From both stage right and stage left, MAN 1, 2, MAN 3 as LANCE, and WOMAN 1 and 3 all enter and begin mingling.)

KATE Wow, Riley. Those are some serious bangs to heaven.

RILEY I know! Took me long enough.

KATE Aqua net?

RILEY What else?

KATE Listen, thanks for being here with me.

RILEY Are you kidding? And miss a night celebrating my favorite decade? Here’s your pencil thin necktie, by the way.

(RILEY hands KATE a sparkly, thin necktie, typical of the 80s. KATE puts it on.)

KATE Thanks. Where did you get this? It looks like one Rob used to wear.

RILEY It IS the one Rob used to wear.

KATE Vintage. No, wait. I take that back. That makes me feel old. Shoot, I can’t say "classic" either.

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RILEY Just put on the tie and stop thinking about how old it is.

KATE Is Rob okay with this?

RILEY He doesn’t even remember wearing it--

KATE No, I mean you coming to the dance.

RILEY He knows why I’m here, and he is glad I’m looking out for you.

KATE I can’t believe I’m actually at a dance. And 80s dance, no less.

RILEY Technically, an "over thirty" 80s dance.

(MAN 2 crosses over to talk to the women. He is wearing sunglasses.)

MAN 2 Hey, home-girls.

RILEY (Excited.) Hi!

KATE Can you see with those on?

MAN 2 I like to wear my sunglasses at night. (Laughing.) This is a really RAD dance, isn’t it?

KATE It is definitely RAD.

(MAN 2 attempts to use 80s terminology.)

MAN 2 You ladies are looking fine.

125 Texas Tech University, Page Petrucka, December 2014

RILEY Oh my gosh! FINE! I haven’t heard that in forever.

KATE You have a "choose life" t-shirt!

MAN 2 Yes, but do you remember what group--

RILEY Wham!

MAN 2 Almost.

KATE Wham UK!

MAN 2 That’s correct! Ding Ding Ding! Ladies and gentlemen, we have a winner!

(MAN 2 and KATE laugh together.)

Not many people remember that little old fact.

KATE Please, don’t say "old."

MAN 2 I’m sorry. That "little" fact.

KATE Much better.

RILEY Kate, I’m going to get some punch, I’ll be right back.

MAN 2 Hold up there little lady, how about a private dance?

RILEY Me? Dance with you?

MAN 2 I wanna dance with somebody. (Laughs, alone.) You remember that Whitney Houston song?

126 Texas Tech University, Page Petrucka, December 2014

(RILEY holds up her ring.)

RILEY I remember, but I’m sorry, I’m already married. I’m here with my wonderful--

MAN 2 Oh, come on, Eileen!

RILEY My name’s not Eileen, it’s Riley. And, no. Thank you. But my friend here--

MAN 2 Do you really want to hurt me?

RILEY I might.

MAN 2 That’s cool. I understand. I know that you girls just wanna have fun. I’ve got my eye on a little red corvette over there. Could I at least get your number?

RILEY 867-5309.

MAN 2 Funny. That’s the third time I’ve gotten that number tonight. Later, gater.

(MAN 2 crosses back to the crowd.)

KATE Wow. That was--

RILEY I’m sorry.

KATE Entertaining! He really thought he was something, didn’t he? Let’s give him a hand for remembering all those 80s songs.

(KATE and RILEY clap sarcastically. LYNN enters, dressed in red. All eyes are on her, and MAN 2 crosses to her. RILEY notices.)

RILEY Hey, isn’t that the woman from the bookstore?

127 Texas Tech University, Page Petrucka, December 2014

KATE Where?

RILEY The lady in red. (Realizing.) Huh. That’s funny.

KATE I have an idea. Maybe we could not talk in song titles. What do you think?

RILEY Works for me.

KATE It does look like her. How did she wind up here?

RILEY She bought the calendar too, remember?

KATE Right! (Noticing MAN 3 as LANCE.) Wow, Riley. Look at that guy!

RILEY Which one?

KATE The hunky one. And yes, I did just say "hunky." Oh! He’s heading over here.

(LANCE crosses to KATE and RILEY.)

RILEY Just be cool. He’s going to ask you do dance. Be cool.

LANCE Hi there.

RILEY (Jumping down his throat.) I’m married, bub. So if you are here to ask me to dance, then the answer is NO.

LANCE (To Kate.) Actually, I came over here to tell you that I used to have a tie just like that.

RILEY Really? Great. Well, if you’ll excuse me...

128 Texas Tech University, Page Petrucka, December 2014

(RILEY leaves to join the crowd and starts talking to LYNN.)

KATE It’s actually my brother’s tie. Shocking that he kept it this long.

LANCE I’m Lance.

KATE Hi, Lance. I’m Kate.

(They shake hands.)

LANCE Fun dance, isn’t it?

KATE It certainly brings back a lot of memories.

LANCE Did you get a chance to play Pac-Man yet?

KATE The arcade game? No, I didn’t see it. I loved that game.

LANCE Yeah, it’s just down the hall over there. But this guy is hogging it. He’s got his quarters lined up on the machine so no one else can play.

KATE I forgot we used to do that!

LANCE I think my favorite game was Mrs. Pac-Man though. I was just so glad that that little yellow guy found someone to love...

(LANCE starts to get a little emotional.)

KATE (Awkward.) Are you okay?

LANCE Yeah, yeah. Sorry about that. Things are just a little tough right now. Being single.

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KATE I understand. Believe me.

LANCE I’m not just single, I’m broke, too.

KATE That happens sometimes--

LANCE It seems that all the women I want to date are expecting me to spend money.

KATE I’m sure it’s not ALL women--

LANCE (Interrupting.) And I just don’t have it! I’m sorry. You don’t need to hear my life’s story. You came here to have a good time, I’m sure. Right?

KATE Right.

LANCE It’s just that I’m in litigation right now, because this family is suing me. And they have every right to!

KATE Litigation?

LANCE And then last week I got struck by lightning. Can you believe that? Struck by lightning! How many people do you know who can say THAT?

KATE (Thinking.) One.

LANCE That’s exactly what I mean!

KATE I’m sure everything is going to be fine.

LANCE I blew up a house!

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KATE Excuse me?

LANCE A house. I blew it up. Accidentally, of course. And thank goodness no one was home.

KATE How did-- how?

LANCE I work with odor removal for homes, and the chemicals I was using got too close to the fuel line in the house and something ignited and everything, well, blew!

KATE (Shocked.) I’m glad no one got hurt.

LANCE It’s just a miracle. An absolute miracle. I tell you, I feel so terrible about it.

KATE I’m sure.

LANCE And since I got struck by lightning last week, I’ve been having triple vision. You know what that is?

KATE I can guess.

LANCE I see everything in triple! Before I came over here, I thought there were six women talking, and three of them had on the same tie.

(KATE realizes she has to get out of there, and tries to signal RILEY. She starts searching for excuses to leave.)

KATE I’m so sorry about everything, but I really--

LANCE I know I just met you, but I really feel like I can open up to you, talk to you, you know? Is that okay?

131 Texas Tech University, Page Petrucka, December 2014

KATE Is it okay? I suppose--

LANCE That is very sweet of you. I knew you’d be sweet.

KATE Listen, I--

LANCE You don’t mind if a guy doesn’t have a lot of money, do you?

(KATE realizes this is her chance.)

KATE As a matter of fact, I do. He’s got to be loaded. I know. I’m very shallow.

LANCE You are? Boy did I peg you wrong. I don’t understand why money is so important. It’s the root of all evil!

KATE Because, because... I’m a material girl, Lance. A material girl. And I have to go. Good luck with everything. Excuse me.

(KATE leaves LANCE and crosses to RILEY. She pulls her away from the crowd and downstage.)

RILEY How’s it going with the hottie over there?

KATE We gotta get out of here.

RILEY Why? It’s too early! The night is still young.

KATE The night may be young, but that conversation I had over there just aged me by ten years.

RILEY What happened?

KATE Remember the song Burning Down the House?

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RILEY Yes.

KATE That song has a very literal meaning to him.

RILEY Huh?

KATE Love with him would most definitely be a battlefield. I’m talking explosives, debris, the works.

RILEY Got it. Let’s go. Wait, let me say goodbye to Lynn.

KATE Who?

RILEY Lynn, from the bookstore. You know she really is very funny. I think you’d like her.

KATE I’m going to wait outside then.

RILEY See you in a sec.

(RILEY crosses to LYNN to say goodbye. KATE crosses to her computer, and takes off her tie.)

133 Texas Tech University, Page Petrucka, December 2014

ACT ONE

SCENE FIVE

(The set for the dance is struck while KATE records her thoughts on her video journal.)

KATE I came home after the dance and googled Lance. Turns out he was telling the truth. The guy really did blow up a house! And of all the women on that dance floor, he singled ME out. Gosh, I feel lucky.

(The screen displays February’s calendar quote. "This month, stop and smell a new you! Buy a new perfume or cologne. Try it out! Love will undoubtedly be in the air.")

February was an interesting month. It is, of course, the month that contains a single person’s favorite holiday, Valentine’s Day. The calendar said to try out a new perfume. And, of course, my fabulous sister-in-law had this brilliant idea.

(KATE leaves her computer and crosses upstage. RILEY enters, bringing her a hat and gloves. They are outside, and it is cold.)

RILEY I’m telling you, this is going to work.

KATE Human pheromones?

RILEY Yes!

KATE In a wipe?

RILEY That’s the beauty of it! You can carry these little packets with you wherever you go. When you see someone attractive, just casually wipe it on and you are ready to go!

KATE What if they smell horrible?

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RILEY They don’t. The package says that they don’t really smell like anything.

KATE How is it gonna work if it doesn’t smell?

RILEY I think it works kinda like dog whistles. Humans can’t hear them, but dogs’ ears are more sensitive, so they pick up on the sound.

KATE I don’t even know where to go with that analogy. Riley, I’m really not sure about this—

(MAN 3 enters and crosses center stage. He is bundled up, waiting outside for a train.)

RILEY There’s a guy now!

KATE I wonder why he’s just standing there.

RILEY He’s probably waiting for the train. Now’s your chance.

KATE I don’t want to get on the train.

RILEY I’m not asking you to get on the train. Just stand by him and use this!

KATE Okay, okay. Fine. I feel like such an idiot.

(KATE crosses over to MAN 3, and casually uses the wipe. After it is applied, she has a puzzled look on her face, not sure about the wipe. She pockets the wipe and wrapper, and looks at MAN 1 and smiles. After several seconds, MAN 3 sniffs and looks at the bottom of his shoes. Not finding anything there, he then turns to KATE. He looks directly at her, then turns away quickly and exits the stage.)

(KATE’S jaw drops.)

135 Texas Tech University, Page Petrucka, December 2014

KATE What? Where’d he go? Riley?

(RILEY crosses to KATE.)

RILEY What happened?

KATE I don’t know! (RILEY notices a bad smell, and reacts.)

What’s the matter with you?

RILEY Did you smell the wipe before you put it on?

KATE No, you told me they were fine. Wait, I’m starting to smell it.

RILEY Where’s the wipe?

KATE In my pocket, hang on.

(As KATE pulls the wipe out, both she and RILEY react badly to it.)

Oh my gosh, that’s evil!

RILEY It’s so bad. My eyes are watering.

(KATE pulls out the wrapper and looks at it.)

KATE Where did you find this?

RILEY (Skirting the question.) It was on sale--

KATE You bought me a human pheromone wipe that was on sale.

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RILEY I’m sorry!

(KATE starts to gag a little. She examines the wrapper.)

KATE AND, it’s expired!

RILEY What are you talking about? Perfumes don’t have expiration dates.

KATE Well, apparently human pheromones do. The expiration date was three years ago! Look!

RILEY Oh no! Oh, Kate...

KATE I think I’m gonna be sick.

RILEY I’ll be right back, I’ve got some bottled water in the car and we can try and wash it off.

KATE Let’s just go home.

(KATE starts to exit with RILEY, but RILEY stops her.)

RILEY No. I can’t have that smell in my car. We have to try and get it off first.

KATE I guess I’ll just stand here, then, and try not to be sick.

RILEY Be right back. So sorry!

KATE Just hurry.

(KATE hunches over and coughs a little as RILEY exits. She walks back over to her computer and

137 Texas Tech University, Page Petrucka, December 2014

gains her composure.)

Truly, no words can describe the smell. It was awful. I kinda don’t blame the guy for running away. Although, I did notice a couple of stray cats hanging around my house for a few days afterwards. Oh, I’ve got to tell you about March.

(KATE hits a few buttons on her keyboard, and the March slide appears. "March forward! Find a local chapter of a national organization and attend a meeting. Embrace diversity, and diversity will embrace you!")

I had so much fun with this one. Ever heard of the LARPs? To get back at Riley for the pheromone wipe incident, I made her come with me. To a Live Action Role Player gathering.

(KATE takes a few steps back and RILEY joins her on stage.)

RILEY I know I said I’d do anything for you, but isn’t this a little extreme?

KATE More extreme than buying an expired human pheromone wipe, on sale?

RILEY Alright, alright. Tell me what you found out about these LURPs.

KATE LARPs. And it stands for Live Action Role Player. LARPs are organizations that select a genre or time period to reenact, using costumes and props. They’re all over the world, apparently. This particular group is partial to the medieval time period.

RILEY Of all the community groups you could have picked, why this one?

KATE You know how much I love the medieval times.

RILEY Then watch Camelot and call it good!

KATE Where’s your sense of adventure? Romance? Fantasy?

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RILEY This is just so embarrassing. These people probably think it’s real!

KATE You’re probably right. Isn’t it great?

RILEY Sarcasm?

KATE A little. Actually, no. Mockery.

RILEY They know we’re coming?

KATE They know I’m coming. You’re a surprise.

(MAN 1 and MAN 2 enter with swords and hints of medieval attire. MAN 1 approaches KATE.)

MAN 1 Alas! Me thought I heard a fair maiden.

MAN 2 But lo! It is two fair maidens. Are thou in distress, mistresses?

RILEY (To KATE.) Do you mind if I sit this one out? I’m a little uncomfortable here.

KATE (Smiling.) Oh, alright.

RILEY Just one fair mistress I’m afraid. Have fun!

(RILEY exits.)

KATE (To MAN 1.) Are you Nathan?

MAN 1 I know not hence where you have heard such a name. Ere which you may know me hereafter as Lord Wallace of Chester.

(MAN 1 makes a deep bow.)

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MAN 2 And I am called Sir Geoffrey of Bromwich. M’lady.

(MAN 2 bows as well. KATE awkwardly bows in return, but is clearly having fun.)

MAN 1 And are you the one who is known as Kate?

KATE I am.

MAN 1 But where is your frock? The ring of flowers placed atop your gentle flowing locks of hair?

KATE I am afraid I forgot... They were torn from me asunder, whilst I was chased by angry wolves.

MAN 2 Wolves have not been about our good countryside in months. I shall defend your honor and seek out the vicious beasts.

MAN 1 Ho, friend. It is I who should find and destroy the beasts, since I, alone, am he whom Kate first sent message to.

MAN 2 While that may be as it may, I cannot place thee in danger. Send me forth to do the bidding.

MAN 1 I will not. And thou mayest cease to contradict my will.

(The men begin to draw swords on each other.)

MAN 2 I seek only to protect thee, and place myself in the path of danger--

MAN 1 That’s bull! I saw her first!

MAN 2 I did! I pointed her out to you!

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MAN 1 You wanna do this?

MAN 2 Oh, it’s on.

(They begin fighting, and KATE enjoys the spectacle. MAN 1 accidentally injures MAN 2.)

Ouch! I can’t believe you did that. This really hurts, you know.

MAN 1 I’m sorry. Just, whatever you do, don’t tell mom, okay?

MAN 2 I’m gonna! She said for you to be more careful, remember?

MAN 1 Hey, why don’t you hit me? Get back at me, and then we’re even. Okay?

MAN 2 Dude, I can’t even lift my arm. You’re so going to be in trouble.

(MAN 2 starts to walk off, nursing his injured arm.)

MAN 1 (To KATE.) Sorry. I gotta go and help my brother out.

KATE No problem. Take care Wallace.

(MAN 1 starts to exit.)

MAN 1 Yeah. You too. (Calling to his brother.) Chester, wait!

(MAN 1 exits. KATE goes back to her video journal, and addresses the audience.)

KATE Oh, that was priceless! For the first time in my life, I had two men fighting over me! With fake swords. And both of them still live with their mother. Yeah, it really wasn’t that funny.

141 Texas Tech University, Page Petrucka, December 2014

ACT ONE

SCENE SIX

(KATE types a little, and then stands up. On the screen, we see the month of April, with the statement "Take a class at the local gym. Ask someone out. Stretch those dating muscles!")

(The ensemble enters, and begins stretching to get ready for the kickboxing class to begin. RILEY enters, and hands KATE some workout shoes and a headband.)

RILEY Are you ready for this?

KATE As I’ll ever be.

RILEY It’s about time you take one of my classes.

KATE So, how does this work?

RILEY The most important thing is to just follow my lead. We’ll get to the kick bag stands eventually, but I’m going to start us with floor work. Stand near the back if you’re a little self-conscious.

KATE Back it is. Are there a lot of guys in your classes?

RILEY Half and half.

KATE Hey, you know what would be really awesome?

RILEY What?

KATE If we got ice cream after.

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RILEY Kate!

KATE I’m just putting it out there.

(KATE and RILEY cross to the ensemble. All look fit and ready to go.)

And I don’t stand out like a sore thumb at all.

RILEY You’ll be just fine.

KATE That remains to be seen.

RILEY Good luck!

KATE Thanks.

(We see, but do not hear, RILEY as she takes control of the class. She stands at the front of the group as they begin with a slow jog. The ensemble is in a diagonal with KATE and MAN 2 upstage, facing the audience. KATE attempts to do the jogging, and to catch the attention of MAN 2.)

KATE (To herself.) Come on Kate. You can do this.

(KATE turns to MAN 2.)

Hi.

(MAN 2 doesn’t hear her. He’s more interested in RILEY.)

I’m Kate. First time here.

MAN 2 Uh huh.

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KATE Do you like kickboxing?

MAN 2 Not as much as I like the teacher.

(RILEY has now advanced from a slow jog to punching. Jabs, uppercuts, and so forth.)

KATE You do know she’s married, right?

MAN 2 Don’t know, don’t care. Just like the view.

KATE (To herself.) You’re a real gem, aren’t you?

(Everyone does a punching routine.)

Wow. I like this punching. Very satisfying.

MAN 2 Huh?

KATE Nothing. I just, like this punching. Feels good.

(MAN 2 hasn’t heard this. He’s too interested in RILEY. It doesn’t go unnoticed by KATE.)

Guess I’ll just talk to myself for a while.

(RILEY now switches to front and side kicks. The class follows.)

Kicks now. Okay.

(KATE tries this a few times.)

This could become not fun in a few minutes.

(After a few kicks, MAN 2, while looking forward, kicks KATE and knocks her off balance. She is taken aback by this. She sends visual daggers towards MAN 2, but he is oblivious.)

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Excuse me.

(MAN 2 doesn’t answer.)

I said, EXCUSE ME.

MAN 2 (Brief glance.) You’re excused.

KATE No, you kicked me.

(No response.) I said, you just kicked me!

MAN 2 What?

KATE Seriously? You have no idea what I just said, and you have no recollection of your foot making contact with my body?

(MAN 2 ignores her and keeps working out, staring after RILEY.)

(KATE fumes. She begins kicking again, and after a few kicks with the group, places a well-timed, well- placed kick between MAN 2’s legs.)

(MAN 2 falls to the ground in pain.)

MAN 2 Hey! What was that for?

KATE Oh, did I kick you? Gosh, I didn’t even notice. I was so busy working out my frustrations.

(KATE leaves the class and crosses stage left. RILEY realizes what’s happened, and gestures for another member of the ensemble to come to the front and guide the gym class. They jog slowly off stage right as RILEY crosses to KATE.)

145 Texas Tech University, Page Petrucka, December 2014

RILEY Hey.

KATE Hey.

RILEY That was an exciting class! Good kick.

KATE Good teacher.

RILEY So, what happened back there?

KATE He kicked me. He kicked my arm. I just wanted to repay the kindness.

RILEY Are you hurt?

KATE My arm? No, I hardly felt it.

RILEY I guess I don’t understand then.

KATE It’s not about the fact that he kicked me. It’s that he didn’t even notice what he’d done. He was so interested in gawking at every other woman in the room, especially you. He made physical contact with me, coincidentally a woman also, and didn’t even know it. I was that insignificant.

RILEY That’s not true.

KATE Maybe not. But that’s how it feels.

RILEY I’m sorry.

KATE Me too.

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RILEY I happen to know a lot of other people who would give up their right arm for you. You know, to replace your injured one. Me included.

(KATE and RILEY smile at each other.)

KATE Thanks. You know, other than kicker man, I was kind of enjoying class. It felt good to let out some steam.

RILEY I’m glad you enjoyed, well, some of it.

KATE I did. I’m sorry I haven’t made an effort to come before now.

RILEY It’s okay. So, month four down. Not quite halfway through. How are you feeling about your quest?

KATE How am I feeling? HA! That’s a good one. Let’s see…

(KATE looks at her ring finger.)

Still single. With eight long, excruciating months to go. I’m feeling terrific!

RILEY Oh good. And here I was worried that you’d be feeling a little down…

KATE Down? Oh no. Never better.

RILEY Liar.

KATE Ice cream?

RILEY Ice cream!

END of ACT ONE

147 Texas Tech University, Page Petrucka, December 2014

ACT TWO

SCENE ONE

(Stage left is set like a classroom with six chairs and a table or podium for the teacher. On screen, we see the calendar displaying the month of July, and the suggestion to attend a life skill course taught at a local community center. There is also a quote that says, "Grow your mind, grow your love life.")

(KATE’S computer, chair, and small table are in the downstage right corner of the stage. KATE enters stage right carrying a car repair book and a legal pad. She sits at her table and hits a key on her keyboard.)

KATE I’m a little behind, so let me catch you up. I’m now halfway done with my calendar challenge, pilgrimage, whatever. The last two calendar suggestions were, as expected, complete and utter failures, and I have pictures to prove it.

May’s calendar quest was to attend a sporting event, and during the event, try to do something out of the ordinary. I chose to attend a baseball game. And while I did see a lot of men at the event, most were a little too involved with their concession stand food to notice me. I did try to catch a foul ball though! In fact, here’s a picture.

(Kate fiddles with her computer, like she is attaching an image. A picture of KATE appears on screen of her at a baseball game, getting hit in the head by the foul ball.)

As a follow up, here is a picture of me in the emergency room getting stitches in my head.

(Another picture appears on the screen of KATE in the hospital. Both photos appear to be self-photos taken with her cell phone.)

June wasn’t much better. The calendar said to do a good deed for a neighbor I don’t know very well. It just so happens that the single guy that lives across the street was going out of town and needed someone to watch his dog for a week. I offered. I haven’t been around dogs much, but I didn’t think it would be a problem. Surprise! I’m not a very good dog whisperer. Not only that, I am most certainly NOT a dog person. So, things didn’t work out between us.

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(An image appears on the screen of KATE with the dog all over her and the neighbor’s house torn apart. Another image appears of the neighbor coming into his distressed home.)

Back to July.

(July’s slides appear on the screen again.)

This month I am supposed to attend a community course that teaches about a life skill. I figured, car repair! Lots of guys take those classes, right?

(As KATE finishes her lines, WOMAN 1, WOMAN 2, WOMAN 3, MAN 1, and MAN 2 enter stage left, and take their seats in the classroom. All are dressed as women.)

(KATE hits a button on her computer, picks up a notebook, and crosses to the classroom. She stops short when she sees it is filled with women. All turn and stare at her as she enters.)

WOMAN 1 I don’t believe it. More competition.

WOMAN 2 I know, right?

MAN 1 Totally lame.

KATE Is this the car repair class?

MAN 2 You got that right, girl.

WOMAN 3 (Nerdy.) Welcome to class.

KATE Thank you.

MAN 2 Not quite what you were expecting, huh?

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KATE No, not quite.

WOMAN 2 I can’t believe there are no guys in here!

WOMAN 1 This is such a waste of time.

WOMAN 3 I’m here for some real hands-on practice. There’s only so much you can get from reading the textbook.

KATE Where’s the teacher?

(MAN 3 as MAC enters from stage left and takes his place at his podium or desk. He is middle age, southern, and wearing a blue mechanic jumpsuit.)

MAC Right here. Hello everyone. Well now, look at all you pretty gals. Y’all are especially pleasin’ to the eyes.

(MAC laughs at himself.)

I’m Macintosh Jackson, but you can call me Mac. This is the first night of an eight-week basic course called "Car Repair Made Easy." If y’all could take your seats, we’ll get started.

(The women take their seats.)

Oh, I have a real quick question I want to ask. How many of y’all are single?

(Everyone hesitates, but then all hands go up.)

Oh, we’re going to have some fun in here.

WOMAN 1 What’s that supposed to mean?

MAC Nothing, nothing. Now, I need for you all to understand something. Fixing cars is a lot like romancing a woman--

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MAN 1 Excuse me, what kind of class is this?

MAC Please hold all your questions until the end of class. Tell you what. Let’s start with a visualization exercise. Open up the mind. I want all of you to think about your favorite kind of car. And now, I want you to close your eyes and picture it. Go on, close em’ tight!

(All the women hesitantly close their eyes.)

Everybody got an image in mind? Good. Now, I want you to picture the kind of man you want to be with. And does he look anything like me?

(KATE begins to gather her things to leave.)

KATE That’s it--

MAC What?

MAN 2 Are you teaching this class just to pick up on women?

MAC No--

WOMAN 3 I read the entire text before coming to class, and it says nothing about visualization exercises!

WOMAN 2 I bet you don’t even know how to fix cars.

WOMAN 1 I’m outta here.

MAC Wait!

(Everyone starts to leave. MAC panics.)

MAC Ladies, please. I’m sorry! Please don’t go. If you all leave, then I won’t get paid, and I need the money. Wait!

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(The women stop to hear his sob story.)

MAC Please. I’m real sorry. That was stupid.

MAN 1 Do you start all your classes this way?

MAC No! I swear! This is just the first time I’ve taught it—as a single man.

(MAC becomes very emotional.)

MAN 2 What’s the matter with him?

(MAC sits down and spills his guts.)

MAC My divorce just went through yesterday. See, my wife left me. All my friends kept saying I gotta get out there and date again. Since it’s only single women that take my class, I thought I could get some of you to go out with me.

KATE No single men ever take this class?

MAC In my eight years of teaching, I never seen a one. They’re probably off takin’ a gardening class or something, to meet women.

(The women look at each other in defeat.)

WOMAN 1 If I can’t meet anyone, I’m gone.

WOMAN 2 Me too. Anyone else?

WOMAN 3 I really want to learn to fix my car! Save some money in this down economy.

MAN 1 I’m still thinking...

MAN 2 So, you’re divorced?

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MAC Yeah-- but, wait. Ladies, hang on. If you leave, y’all will be out the registration fee. It’s non-refundable! You don’t want to be throwin’ your money down the crapper--

(The women are all thinking about what to do.)

I know I started our class badly. But, I really can teach you something here. And I won’t be a jerk again. Well, I’ll try not to be a jerk again.

MAN 1 What do you think ladies?

(After a few beats, the women agree to stay and start taking their seats again.)

MAC Thanks so much! Y’all won’t be sorry.

WOMAN 1 I already am.

MAC Okay. First things first...

(KATE leaves the classroom and goes back to her computer. She hits a few buttons to start the recording.)

KATE That was unexpected. A room full of women with the same idea. And one guy with his own agenda. Too bad that twenty-two fifty isn’t gaining interest.

(KATE hits a button on her computer to end the video journal entry.)

153 Texas Tech University, Page Petrucka, December 2014

ACT TWO

SCENE TWO

(The classroom is now struck, and set center stage are a few tables and chairs for a speed dating session. There is also a speed dating sign on an easel for the audience to see.)

(KATE and RILEY enter from stage right.)

KATE Thanks for coming along, Mom.

(RILEY pinches KATE’S cheeks.)

RILEY I just wanted to be sure you got here safe and sound, honey. Now I’ll be right outside in the station wagon—

KATE Riley!

RILEY Sorry. I couldn’t resist. Okay, we’re going to try and be positive here, right? It’s got to be better than what you did last month.

(During KATE’S next speech, images on the screen display pictures of the August calendar experience. "If music be the food of love, play on!" Attend a concert, enjoy the music, and meet new people!")

KATE Sure. What could be worse than attending a concert where ninety-nine percent of the audience is fourteen years old, and they refer to you as grandma?

RILEY They called you grandma? You didn’t tell me that. All you said was the concert started three hours late.

KATE Because four warm-up bands had to play first. The music was so loud I was shoving toilet paper in my ears. No chairs. My legs hurt so bad from standing that I finally sat on the floor, only the wall right behind me had yellow laffy taffy stuck all over it so I couldn’t really lean back.

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RILEY (Laughing.) Why didn’t you tell me?

KATE It’s all on my video journal. I have a picture on there of me at the concert.

RILEY Am I going to get to see it ever?

KATE Someday. Hey, how about over there?

(September’s calendar quest appears on the screen. It says "Time to speed date! And just as the leaves begin to change, so will your love life." "How far we travel in life matters far less than those we meet along the way.")

RILEY Looks good. I love this! It’s so-- covert. I look like I’m texting, but actually, I’m taking pictures of, let me see if I remember what you said, all the losers you’re about to meet. Did I get that right?

KATE You did.

RILEY Kate, what if--

KATE (Warning her.) Riley.

RILEY Fine. They’re all a bunch of losers. So, what are you looking for, anyway?

KATE I was thinking about that earlier today. You know, a long time ago, I made one of those lists with all the qualities I was looking for in a guy. But it’s changed over the years. Gotten considerably smaller. Now it just says one thing.

RILEY What’s that?

KATE He has to be willing to share the remote control.

155 Texas Tech University, Page Petrucka, December 2014

(Pause.)

RILEY I think your expectations are way too high.

KATE They are not! If he shares the remote control, it means he is willing to compromise in life.

RILEY Where did you come up with that one? Rob doesn’t share the remote, and he’s a wonderful husband.

KATE But I’ve been single most of my life. I’ve had sole possession of the remote. And I’m not relinquishing that power completely. He’s got to share.

(WOMAN 1, MAN 1, MAN 2, and MAN 3 all enter and gather by the sign.)

(KATE and RILEY look over the men. WOMAN 2 as LYNN enters, and all the men look her over. She crosses to RILEY and KATE.)

LYNN Well hello there, Riley!

RILEY Lynn! How are you?

LYNN Magnificent. I’ve been so busy though.

RILEY Lynn, I want to officially introduce you to my sister-in-law, Kate.

LYNN Pleasure.

KATE Hi, Lynn.

LYNN Aren’t you just LOVING the calendar you bought? It is totally working for me! I’ve met so many men, and been on a gazillion dates.

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KATE (Lying.) Yes. It’s been great.

LYNN I knew it would bring you success. I just knew it. I called it, didn’t I? Didn’t I?

KATE (Sarcastic.) You sure did. I have a question for you though.

LYNN Shoot.

KATE What community course did you take in July?

LYNN A horticulture class. I figured all the men would be taking THAT one to meet other women.

RILEY Did it work?

LYNN Are you kidding? Like a charm! There were fifteen guys in there, and I was the only woman! I’ve been seriously dating three of them for the past couple of weeks.

KATE So then why are you here tonight?

LYNN You know the answer to that question. We gotta do what the calendar suggests. Every step.

KATE Right, right. Of course.

LYNN Anyhow, I’ve always wanted to try one of these things. I hear they’re a hoot.

(WOMAN 3 enters as the spokesperson for the event. She gets everyone’s attention.)

WOMAN 3 Hello everyone! And welcome to Speed Dating. Has everyone signed in already?

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(Everyone mumbles in agreement.)

WOMAN 3 (cont.) Perfect. Now remember, there is no pressure here tonight. It’s all about having fun and meeting lots of new people. Women, you will stay seated, and every two minutes the men will rotate from table to table. Ask lots of questions, have great conversations, and make some love connections!

(Everyone cheers with excitement except KATE and RILEY.)

Women, get to your tables!

RILEY That’s my cue. Good luck!

(RILEY takes her seat off to the side. KATE sits at the table center stage, and LYNN sits at another table.)

WOMAN 3 Ready, GO!

(WOMAN 3 rings a bell for the event to begin. MAN 1 comes over to sit at KATE’S table, while MAN 2 sits at LYNN’S. MAN 3 stands by WOMAN 3 and visits with her.)

MAN 1 Hi there! I’m Michael.

KATE Hi, Michael. You know, it’s funny. You look so much like my brother!

MAN 1 Really?

KATE It’s uncanny.

MAN 1 He must be pretty awesome then.

KATE Yes, he is.

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MAN 1 Alright, let’s get right to it. How much do you weigh?

KATE Excuse me?

MAN 1 Look, I’m athletic. You can clearly see that. Taking care of the body is important to me. I can’t see myself with anyone who isn’t willing to do the same. How much work I have to do to get you in shape is going to depend on how much you need to lose.

KATE I don’t know you at all Michael, and that’s not even information I share with my best friend.

MAN 1 It’s nothing to be ashamed of. Lots of people are overweight. Nothing I can’t fix.

KATE So, you’re saying I need to be fixed?

MAN 1 Everybody needs some fixing. You’re still single, aren’t you?

KATE I don’t believe it’s because of my weight.

MAN 1 I wouldn’t be so sure.

KATE You know what? I’m done here. You can leave now.

MAN 1 They didn’t ring the bell yet.

KATE Ding ding! Oh! That was it, I heard it. Times up! Better go.

MAN 1 I was just trying to help.

KATE Well, thank you for that. Bye bye now!

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(Just as MAN 1 stands up to leave, WOMAN 3 rings the bell.)

WOMAN 3

Okay everybody! Switch places!

(MAN 1 stands off to the side while MAN 3 sits at LYNN’S table. MAN 2, who was sitting with LYNN, now joins KATE at her table.)

(KATE tries to be pleasant to the next man.)

KATE Hi, I’m Kate.

(MAN 2 looks at LYNN.)

MAN 2 Hi.

(Pause.)

KATE What’s your name?

MAN 2 Hm?

KATE Your name. What is it?

MAN 2 Oh, it’s John.

(MAN 2 isn’t very forthcoming with information.)

KATE This is the first time I’ve tried speed dating.

(MAN 2 is not listening to KATE, but instead, staring at LYNN.)

MAN 2 Mm-hm.

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KATE So, John. Did your mother dress you this morning? John?

MAN 2 What?

KATE She did, didn’t she?

MAN 2 Yes, yes, she did.

KATE She probably dresses you every day.

MAN 2 (Looking at KATE.) Huh?

KATE Am I right, John?

MAN 2 (Chuckling uncomfortably.) You are! You’re right.

KATE Tell me about yourself.

MAN 2 Oh no, you go right ahead. Fine with me. Just keep on talking.

KATE Well, I’m worth approximately three hundred million dollars, I own a dozen homes throughout the world. But my favorite home is a refurbished castle in Scotland overlooking a beautiful loch. Doesn’t that sound wonderful, John?

(MAN 2 hasn’t heard a word.)

MAN 2 Sure does. Go on.

KATE Of course, none of that really matters if I don’t have someone to share my life with.

MAN 2 (Interrupting.) I’m sorry, Karen--

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KATE Kate.

MAN 2 Kate. Right. I’m sorry, but I think I’m in love. With (Pointing to LYNN) her.

KATE (Not surprised.) Really?

MAN 2 I know it’s sudden. We just met right here, a few minutes ago. But sometimes that’s how it happens. BAM! And you know it. Love knocks you right over the head.

KATE Good for you, Jim.

MAN 2 John.

KATE Whatever. That’s great. Go and get her!

MAN 2 But I haven’t heard the bell yet.

(WOMAN 3 rings the bell.)

WOMAN 3 Time to switch again everyone!

KATE There’s your cue, Jack.

MAN 2 John.

KATE Jesse. Don’t waste another minute.

MAN 2 You’re right, Kylie.

KATE Kate.

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MAN 2 I’m going back over there. Good luck to you!

KATE You too, Sam.

(MAN 2 crosses over to LYNN and sits back down, so that MAN 1 doesn’t get a chance to talk to her. MAN 3 rotates to KATE’S table.)

(WOMAN 3 rings the bell again.)

WOMAN 3 Round three begins-- now!

MAN 3 Hey. Nice to meet you.

KATE You too.

MAN 3 Be honest, are you having a good time here?

KATE I’m not, really. No.

MAN 3 I’m not either.

KATE Wow. I finally have something in common with someone here tonight.

MAN 3 (Laughing.) I’m Greg, by the way.

KATE Kate.

MAN 3 Kate. Good name. It suits you.

KATE Thank you, Greg. And that’s a very solid name. Very trustworthy.

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MAN 3 Good to know. My parents did well.

KATE They did indeed. So what do you do for a living?

MAN 3 I’m a police officer.

KATE You’re too nice to be a cop.

MAN 3 You’re only saying that because I don’t have my uniform on. If you could see me in my blues--

KATE I might like to. I like a man in a uniform.

MAN 3 Really? That’s exactly what my wife says! In fact, that’s what first attracted her to me. Not my charming personality, if you can believe that.

(KATE is surprised by this revelation.)

KATE Your wife?

MAN 3 Yeah! (Pointing to WOMAN 3.) That’s her right there.

(MAN 3 waves proudly at WOMAN 3, who gives KATE the evil eye.)

She begged me to come here tonight because she wasn’t sure if enough guys were going to show.

(KATE is visibly disappointed.)

KATE That was very good of you, Greg.

MAN 3 Thanks.

(WOMAN 3 rings the bell.)

164 Texas Tech University, Page Petrucka, December 2014

WOMAN 3 Alright everyone! Before switching again, we’re going to take a short break. Please get up, stretch your legs, hit the restrooms. Because we’re coming back here in just a few minutes. Make em’ count!

(MAN 3 crosses over to his wife and gives her a big hug. MAN 2 and LYNN visit with each other. MAN 1 tries to talk to MAN 3 and WOMAN 3. RILEY crosses to KATE.)

RILEY (Referring to MAN 3 and WOMAN 3.) Why are those two hugging?

KATE Because they’re married. It’s a shame too. Of the bunch, he really was the best one.

RILEY What was wrong with the other two?

KATE Well, it appears Lynn has found the love of her life, right here, tonight, during speed dating.

RILEY Oh. And the other one?

KATE After asking me how much I weigh--

RILEY (Shocked.) He did NOT!

KATE He basically offered to be my personal trainer.

RILEY I don’t believe it.

KATE It’s almost funny. No, wait, not almost. It IS funny. It’s hysterical. This is what happens to me when I try to date.

(KATE starts laughing maniacally.) This is awesome. I’m so going to get my money back in December!

165 Texas Tech University, Page Petrucka, December 2014

RILEY Okay, I think we’re done here.

KATE No, I want to see what else happens! What other ridiculous men am I going to meet tonight? I’m so excited!

RILEY Yeah, no, we’re going home now Kate. Say bye to all the nice crazies.

KATE Bye everyone! Bye Mr. Your the nicest man here but you’re married. Bye Lynn and Hank, may you be very happy together--

(RILEY starts dragging KATE off.)

And farewell Mr. I’m looking for Barbie but I’m not anywhere close to being Ken! It’s been really great everyone. Really, really, really, really great.

(RILEY and KATE exit.)

166 Texas Tech University, Page Petrucka, December 2014

ACT TWO

SCENE THREE

(The speed dating set is rearranged into what resembles a soup kitchen setting. On the calendar, we see the month of November, and the phrase "Show how thankful you are for everything by serving those who have nothing. Volunteer your time, you’ll be thankful you did.")

(WOMAN 3 as JANE enters wearing an apron. MAN 3 enters with KATE, and hands her an apron.)

MAN 3 (Pointing to JANE.) You’re gonna want to talk to that woman over there, and she’ll get you all set up.

KATE Thank you.

(MAN 3 exits. KATE begins to tie on her apron. JANE approaches.)

JANE Hi there. You here to volunteer?

KATE Yes, I’m Kate.

JANE Jane.

(They shake hands.)

Thanks for coming early.

(JANE eyeballs KATE.)

You ever volunteer at a shelter before?

KATE This is my first time.

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JANE Hopefully it won’t be your last. No better way to spend the holidays than helping out people in need.

KATE What can I do?

JANE There’s something I have to take care of in the back, so hang out here for a minute or two. If people start showing up, greet them, and let them know we’ll be eating around twelve.

KATE Sounds good.

(JANE exits. WOMAN 1 enters, dressed in ragged clothing. She doesn’t make eye contact with KATE, and takes a seat at one of the tables. KATE approaches and tries to talk to her.)

Hi there.

(WOMAN 1 does not respond.)

I was just talking to, Jane is it? Do you know her?

(WOMAN 1 continues to look down.)

She said that we’ll be eating around twelve. Can I get you anything while you wait? Some water, or something?

(WOMAN 1 shakes her head no, and continues to avoid eye contact. KATE sits down across the table from her. Both are quiet.)

This is my first time here. How about you?

(WOMAN 1 shakes her head "no", but doesn’t look up.)

I’m not going to be cooking though, don’t worry. I mean, my cooking is as bad as my luck with men.

(WOMAN 1 looks at KATE.)

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KATE (cont.) I’m sorry. That was really insensitive. I have a bad habit of putting my foot in my mouth. That probably surprises you, because I don’t look that flexible.

(KATE is really awkward here, but she’s trying.)

So, I dated a guy once that had only one ear.

(WOMAN 1 has a surprised look on her face.)

He was a blind date. Although a better definition would have been a deaf date.

(WOMAN 1 smiles a little.)

Well, if there’s anything you need, just let me know. My name’s Kate.

(KATE crosses away from WOMAN 1, right as WOMAN 2 as LYNN enters with MAN 3.)

MAN 3 It’s so good to see you! Here’s your apron, and Jane will be back in a minute.

(MAN 3 hands the apron to LYNN. She takes it and starts to put it on.)

LYNN Good to see you too, honey!

(MAN 3 exits. LYNN notices KATE.)

Kate! How are you, darling?

(KATE is pleased, but not surprised to see LYNN.)

KATE Good, how are you?

LYNN So good. It is wonderful to be here on Thanksgiving, isn’t it?

KATE It is.

LYNN I love volunteering at women’s shelters. Have you ever—

169 Texas Tech University, Page Petrucka, December 2014

KATE First time, I’m sorry to say.

LYNN Don’t be sorry! It’s just good that you’re here now. Believe me, they can use all the help they can get.

(WOMAN 1 exits.)

KATE I wonder what her story is.

LYNN Does it matter?

KATE No.

LYNN She needs help, and that’s why we’re here.

KATE How long have you been volunteering?

LYNN Ten years, give or take.

KATE I’m impressed.

LYNN Oh, it’s nothing. I just wanted to return the favor.

KATE What do you mean?

LYNN A while back, things weren’t so great for me. Wow, it seems like a lifetime ago. I was living in New York at the time. I was young, and my so-called husband wasn’t very good to me. I didn’t know how to handle it. Anyway, long story short, I finally left him. I went to a shelter, and that’s when things started to change for me.

KATE How so?

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LYNN Someone sponsored me. I never found out who. The shelter coordinated everything. Whoever it was got me set up in a little apartment, paid rent for a few months, and gave me an allowance. I was able to get back on my feet again. I never looked back. Someone gave me a second chance, and I took it.

KATE I had no idea.

LYNN Of course you didn’t. How could you? But, here we are! It really makes me happy to give back, you know?

(KATE is quiet.)

How has the dating been going?

KATE I’m still single with no prospects, if that’s what you mean.

LYNN Have you enjoyed yourself?

KATE It’s been alright, I guess. I really had fun last month.

LYNN The old folks home?

KATE Yeah. What a riot. Come to think of it, I did get two marriage proposals out of that visit!

LYNN (Laughing.) See, you ARE having some success!

KATE I’m still visiting there, actually.

LYNN Good for you.

KATE How about you? Are you still seeing that guy you met at the speed dating event?

171 Texas Tech University, Page Petrucka, December 2014

LYNN (Holding back.) Oh, a little. He’s very nice.

KATE (Assuming.) Still looking too, huh? You know, I knew this would happen. I knew that in spite of whatever I did, whatever steps I followed, I’d still be the same--

LYNN But you aren’t.

KATE Of course I am.

LYNN I beg to differ. You’re telling me that you’re the same person that you were a year ago?

KATE Well, I’m still not married.

LYNN I’m not talking about your marital status. I’m talking about you. (Frustrated.) Boy, you’re a tough nut to crack. I thought you’d have figured all this out by now.

KATE Figured what out?

LYNN You really don’t look this dense, I gotta say.

KATE Excuse me?

(Pause.)

LYNN Forget it.

KATE No, wait. What do you mean?

LYNN Honey, this is one thing you gotta figure out for yourself.

(A few beats as KATE thinks about what LYNN said.)

172 Texas Tech University, Page Petrucka, December 2014

LYNN (cont.) So, we have one more month. The calendar says for December, we get to celebrate. How are you gonna do that?

KATE My fortieth birthday is on December 29th. My plan is to return the calendar, get my money back, and then fly down to Vegas for a few days. I’m going to rent the honeymoon suite, because I figured that’ll be the only time I’m ever going to see the inside of one of them. Then just get room service and spa treatments until it’s time to come home.

LYNN Alone?

KATE Yeah.

LYNN Well, as long as it makes you happy.

KATE I don’t know if it makes me happy. What about you? What are you going to do?

LYNN (Still hesitant.) Me? Just, have a family party, of sorts.

KATE Sounds like fun. A big party?

LYNN Yeah. Pretty big. Are you sure you want to celebrate your birthday alone?

(KATE sees WOMAN 1 come back in and take a seat. JANE also enters and crosses to LYNN and KATE.)

JANE Lynn! So good to see you!

LYNN You too, sweetie.

JANE Can you head into the kitchen? We need some help in there.

173 Texas Tech University, Page Petrucka, December 2014

LYNN Sure thing. (To KATE.) See you in there, girl.

(LYNN exits. KATE looks at WOMAN 1, then talks to JANE.)

KATE Has she been in here for very long?

JANE Not very. Poor girl. She’s been through so much. Are you ready to get to work?

KATE One second.

(KATE crosses to WOMAN 1 and speaks to her.)

Will you save a seat for me?

(WOMAN 1 looks up at KATE and nods. KATE smiles, and then crosses back to JANE.)

Listen, I know you’re really busy, but-- Can we go to your office for a few minutes?

JANE Are you sure this can’t wait until--

KATE It can’t. I really want to take care of something, anonymously.

JANE (Smiling.) Alright. My office is this way.

KATE Thanks.

(The two exit together.)

174 Texas Tech University, Page Petrucka, December 2014

ACT TWO

SCENE FOUR

(The previous scene is struck, and the couch from KATE’S home is brought back on. KATE enters and crosses to her computer. On the screen appears the calendar quotes for December. "It’s time to celebrate! Your successes, your challenges, the people you’ve met, the romance you’ve kindled. Treat yourself. You deserve it!")

(KATE sits at her computer and stares at the screen when a quick knock is heard and RILEY enters. KATE turns around.)

KATE Hey! Where’s Rob?

RILEY He’s coming. I just wanted to talk to you for a sec, without him.

KATE What’s wrong?

RILEY Nothing! I wanted to check on you. Make sure you’re doing okay.

KATE I’m fine. I’m just trying to wrap things up here.

RILEY Journal entry?

KATE Last one before I take this thing back.

RILEY How’s it going?

KATE I haven’t started it yet. I’m still trying to figure out exactly what I’m going to say.

RILEY This past year has been a blast for me. Any chance the two of us can keep having fun, little adventures together?

175 Texas Tech University, Page Petrucka, December 2014

KATE (Smiling.) Maybe. Some were fun, for sure. A few were, let’s say less than ideal.

RILEY Which was your favorite?

KATE I think sponsoring that woman last month. I don’t know when I’ve felt so good. I talked to Jane, the woman in charge, about her, and she says she is doing great. She’s really turned her life around.

RILEY You did that.

KATE I just financed it for a few months. She did all the hard work herself.

RILEY Are you upset that you didn’t get to take your solo trip to Vegas?

KATE Not at all.

RILEY Good for you. What about your least favorite?

KATE I didn’t enjoy getting hit in head with a flying baseball and going to the emergency room.

(The two laugh together.)

RILEY That was a rough night, to be sure.

KATE And I know I’m never letting you buy me perfume again.

RILEY Oh my, that was terrible. I’m still sorry, by the way.

KATE And I’m still never going to let you forget it. What about you? What was your favorite?

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RILEY I loved that 80s dance!

KATE You know, I do regret not playing that Pac-Man game before we left.

RILEY If you had started playing, I never would have gotten you home.

KATE True. Very true.

RILEY You didn’t meet the man of your dreams--

KATE I didn’t think I would.

RILEY Today is your fortieth birthday.

KATE That it is.

RILEY Was it worth it, anyway?

KATE That’s a good question.

(MAN 1 as ROB enters, bringing a gift wrapped in a garbage bag.)

ROB How are you, sis?

KATE Let’s see. My brother and sister-in-law slash best friend are taking me to the most expensive restaurant in town for my birthday dinner, where they will not only feed me but shower me with tons of gifts. I guess you can say I’m doing pretty well.

(RILEY sees the garbage bag.)

RILEY What’s in the garbage bag, honey?

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ROB It’s a little pre-dinner present.

RILEY But you wrapped it in a garbage bag.

ROB It’s the gift that counts, not the wrapping job. Here you go. I saw it today, and had to get it for you.

(ROB hands the gift to KATE.)

KATE Thanks, Rob.

(KATE opens the gift.) It’s a new calendar!

ROB Not just any calendar. It’s "Billionaire Bachelors of the Month." Just take a look at any of those guys, and you’ll be happy you’re still single.

KATE This is really nice of you.

RILEY You old softie.

ROB Since you’re taking that other one back today, I thought you could use another one.

KATE Thank you.

ROB No problem. (Looking at his watch.) Reservations are in a little bit. We better get going. We’ve got a few more things to pick up. Right, hon?

RILEY Right! (To KATE.) See you there at six?

KATE You got it. Wait.

178 Texas Tech University, Page Petrucka, December 2014

RILEY What?

KATE Thanks. Love you guys.

(ROB and RILEY smile and exit. KATE goes back to her journal. She sits for a moment, and then begins.)

This is my last video journal entry. It marks the end of my year long calendar adventure. The one that guaranteed true love in twelve months or less, but not more. The one that I knew wouldn’t work. It’s been an interesting year. Last month, Lynn said that I had changed, that I wasn’t the same person. I’m not sure why she said that. I don’t feel any different, honestly. I set out to accomplish something, and I did it. That doesn’t constitute change. I did prove that love happens when it happens, if it happens. No one can force it, or demand it, or even promise it.

(Looking at her watch.)

I gotta get to the bookstore. So, say goodbye to the calendar of love, and hello to the billionaire bachelors!

(KATE exits with the old calendar.)

179 Texas Tech University, Page Petrucka, December 2014

ACT TWO

SCENE FIVE

(KATE’S home is struck except for her computer station. The bookstore sales counter is brought on. WOMAN 1 stands behind the sales counter. MAN 2 is at the counter doing a return, followed in line by WOMAN 2 and WOMAN 3. KATE takes her place at the back of the line, which is moving very slowly.)

(WOMAN 1 speaks to everyone in line.)

WOMAN 1 I’m doing my best here, okay? We’re down one sales person and two registers. If you could just be a little more patient, I’d appreciate it.

WOMAN 2 I’ve been waiting here for ten minutes!

WOMAN 1 I realize that, but getting angry isn’t going to make things go any faster.

MAN 2 (Turing to WOMAN 2.) Wait your turn.

WOMAN 2 I AM waiting my turn, but yours is clearly taking too long. We’re never going to get out of here, I swear.

(KATE goes to the counter, in front of everyone.)

WOMAN 3 The line is back here.

KATE I know that, I just have a question.

(KATE interrupts MAN 2’s transaction.)

Excuse me--

MAN 2 Back of the line, lady.

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KATE I’m not cutting. (To WOMAN 1.) You said you’re down one sales person. Where’s Lynn?

WOMAN 1 She’s on her honeymoon.

KATE She got married?

WOMAN 1 Yeah, last week. Great party. Anyway, that’s why we’re a little understaffed now.

KATE Well, good for her.

MAN 2 Can we get back to my transaction now?

KATE Sure.

(WOMAN 1 and MAN 2 continue, and KATE goes to the back of the line. KATE is thinking out loud.)

Married. Oh, THAT was the big party she was talking about. I wonder why she didn’t tell me.

WOMAN 3 (Sarcastically.) One will never know.

KATE Excuse me?

WOMAN 3 Why what’s her face didn’t tell you about getting married.

KATE I didn’t realize I was saying that out loud.

WOMAN 3 Oh, you were.

KATE (Annoyed.) I’ll try to keep it down.

181 Texas Tech University, Page Petrucka, December 2014

WOMAN 3 You do that.

KATE I will.

(KATE checks her watch as she waits. After a moment, MAN 3 enters, and gets behind KATE. He is nice looking, and about KATE’S age.)

MAN 3 (To KATE.) Hi.

(KATE turns to him. Slight pause.)

KATE Hi.

MAN 3 This the line for returns?

KATE I hope so. Otherwise I’ve wasted the last five minutes.

(Pause.)

MAN 3 Been waiting here long?

KATE About the last five minutes.

MAN 3 Five minutes, right. You just said that. Sorry.

(The both laugh a little.)

KATE It’s no problem. I have to warn you though, the people in this line are especially cranky.

MAN 3 Then I am definitely in the right line.

KATE You’re cranky too?

182 Texas Tech University, Page Petrucka, December 2014

MAN 3 Oh yes. I know you can’t tell, but I’m furious. Absolutely livid.

KATE You hide your emotions quite well, I must say.

MAN 3 Years of practice.

(Another pause.)

KATE You said you were making a return?

MAN 3 Yeah, this stupid calendar thing.

(MAN 3 holds up the Calendar of Love.)

How about you?

KATE Same stupid calendar thing.

MAN 3 You’re kidding?

KATE (Showing the calendar.) Nope.

MAN 3 Well, what do you know about that. You’re single? I find that hard to believe.

KATE It’s true. A year ago I was single, and look at me! A year later, and I’m still single.

MAN 3 Me too! You know, it was actually my kids that bought this for me last Christmas. My wife passed away about five years ago, and, well, I haven’t really dated since.

KATE I’m sorry for your loss.

183 Texas Tech University, Page Petrucka, December 2014

MAN 3 Thank you. It was touch and go for a while, but we’re hanging in there. Anyway, the kids thought it would help me, you know, get back in the saddle again. I have to admit though, I was so mad at that stupid guarantee.

KATE I know!

MAN 3 Right? Who puts a guarantee on finding love? It’s ludicrous.

KATE Yes! You know, I knew I’d still be single by the end of the year.

MAN 3 I just find that so hard to believe.

(MAN 3 changes the subject quickly.)

I almost didn’t make it in here today, though. I woke up this morning and was this close to burning it in my fireplace. There’s really nothing quite like fire therapy. But, that would be like burning a twenty-dollar bill, which is a crime, as you well know.

KATE I know all about it. I once flattened a penny on a railroad track.

MAN 3 You rebel.

KATE You don’t know the half of it.

(Pause.)

MAN 3 Did you do every one of the steps?

KATE I did. Everything the calendar said. How about you?

MAN 3 Almost everything. But I’m still getting my money back today! You’re not going to rat me out, are you?

184 Texas Tech University, Page Petrucka, December 2014

KATE If you can live with yourself--

MAN 3 I can, trust me.

KATE What months did you miss?

MAN 3 Oh there were a few. And one I only sort of did. Remember the dance we were supposed to attend?

KATE Oh yeah. January.

MAN 3 Well, I went to this 80s dance--

KATE You’re kidding?

MAN 3 Nope. I loved the 80s, so I thought I’d give it a try. But when I got there, I heard that there was a Pac-Man game in one of the hallways. I ran out to my car and got all the change I could find, and then lined those quarters up along the machine--

(KATE starts laughing.)

What’s so funny?

KATE That was YOU hogging the game!

MAN 3 Yeah. Were you there?

KATE I was! I really wanted to play the game, too. Don’t like to share too much, do you?

MAN 3 Not when it comes to electronic devices.

(Pause.)

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KATE How do you feel about sharing the remote control to your TV?

MAN 3 With my kids? Are you kidding?

KATE What about sharing the remote with, say, another adult? How do you feel about that?

(This becomes a bit of a stand off.)

MAN 3 I’m not sure. How do you feel about NOT sharing the remote?

KATE I’m not sure.

(Pause.) Being single, did you ever imagine deal breakers?

MAN 3 Sure did. How do you feel about dogs?

KATE I’m not sure. How do you feel about people who are not sure about dogs?

MAN 3 I’m not sure.

(The line they were standing in has moved, but KATE and MAN 3 haven’t. MAN 1 enters, and approaches the two of them.)

MAN 1 Excuse me, are you two in line?

KATE Well, we were.

MAN 3 You can go ahead of me. It’s fine. But, I don’t want to speak for the lady.

KATE Sure, go ahead.

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MAN 1 Thanks.

(MAN 1 crosses to the counter.)

MAN 3 You know, I’d really like to know your name.

KATE It’s Kate.

MAN 3 I’m Justin. Nice to meet you.

KATE You too.

(They shake hands. A short pause.)

MAN 3 Kate, I’m not sure I want to return this calendar now.

KATE I’m not sure I want to, either.

MAN 3 Any chance I can get you to join me for some hot chocolate, or something?

KATE I think I could make time for that.

MAN 3 I’d really like to hear more about why the remote control is so important to you.

KATE And I’d like to know why you love dogs so much.

MAN 3 One more question. How do you feel about fire?

KATE It is a little chilly. I could stand a little fire, somewhere.

MAN 3 You could?

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KATE Yeah. I really could.

MAN 3 Well, perfect. Shall we?

(They start to walk off together.)

KATE Oh, can you give me just a minute?

MAN 3 Sure. I’ll be right out here.

KATE Thanks.

(MAN 3 exits. KATE crosses to her computer and begins to type.)

Calendar journal Appendix A. I failed. I didn’t return the calendar. I burned it instead. (Smiling.) That was a great fire. I don’t have any pictures to post of that, but I do have some others. Hope you like em’.

(KATE stands up to exit, and wedding pictures of her and MAN 3 appear on the screen. They continue as music cues and lights fade.)

END OF PLAY

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APPENDIX B

BLOOD IS THICKER THAN ROSWELL

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BLOOD IS THICKER THAN ROSWELL

by Page Petrucka

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CAST OF CHARACTERS

TALITHA BOREALIS WILMAR (TALI): Female, forty, single. Older sister of Gemma and Mira. Southern dialect.

GEMMA ARIA WILMAR: Female, thirty-eight, divorced. Younger than Tali, older than Mira. The middle sister. Southern dialect.

MIRA CETI WILMAR: Female, thirty-five, engaged. Tali and Gemma’s youngest sister. No dialect.

SCENE The action of the play takes place in Tali’s home in Lubbock, Texas, and at an RV park in Roswell, New Mexico.

TIME July, 2012.

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SCENE 1

(TALI’s home. A couch and end table sit off center, right. Behind and to the left of the couch is a kitchen table and three chairs. A laptop computer and stacks of paper cover the kitchen table. On stage left by the suggested front door is a blown up figure of an alien.)

(GEMMA sits on the couch crocheting while TALI works on her computer. TALI is wearing a florescent t-shirt with a picture of an alien and a quote that reads, "I BELIEVE.")

GEMMA I’m telling you, you should re-think that t-shirt.

TALI She’ll be fine with it.

GEMMA No she won’t. You know how she hates all of that stuff.

TALI I don’t get it. She’s an aerospace engineer. Space, aliens, they kinda go together.

GEMMA Not to her, and you know it. And you should probably move your little friend by the front door.

TALI Who, Bob?

GEMMA It has a name?

TALI Come on, Gemma. He ain’t hurtin’ nobody.

GEMMA And on account of what happened the last time she came home, I think it would be a good idea to avoid the subject of religion.

TALI Religion is a big part of who I am, and it’s important to me.

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GEMMA I know it is, but she made it abundantly clear that it’s not to her. Not anymore.

TALI Well, it should be.

GEMMA You can’t tell her that, Tali.

TALI I don’t want to have to turn my world upside down just because my sister is visiting.

GEMMA This isn’t just a visit. It’s her bridal shower.

TALI Which I am throwin’!

GEMMA I’m just sayin’--

TALI I know you’re just sayin’, and I know you’re tryin’ to keep the peace--

GEMMA That’s my job, isn’t it? Look, this weekend is about her. Try to remember that, okay?

(TALI gives in.)

TALI Alright, alright. I’ll change my shirt and move Bob.

(Pause.)

GEMMA You gonna tell her?

TALI Holy cow, Gemma. She’s not going to want to come home ever again!

GEMMA (Patiently.) You’ve kept if from her long enough.

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TALI I know I have.

GEMMA So you’ll tell her?

TALI Yeah.

GEMMA Before the weekend is out?

TALI (Exasperated.) I will!

GEMMA Good. Now, why don’t you let me in on what you’ve got planned for all of us this weekend.

TALI Not a chance. It’s a surprise. But this is going to be one weddin’ shower unlike any other.

GEMMA I hope this is the first and last for her. Divorce is not a pleasant thing, I tell ya.

TALI Speakin’ of, you’re not goin’ to worry about your boys this entire weekend, are you?

GEMMA No, I won’t. DeWayne and I have set down some ground rules.

TALI Can he be trusted to keep them?

GEMMA He better be. But I will contact the judge again if I have to. Those boys mean the world to me and I don’t want my idiot ex-husband puttin’ them in harm’s way again.

TALI I don’t blame ya.

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GEMMA And if I have to drive all the way back to Albuquerque to oversee the setting of one more broken limb--

(Seeing that GEMMA is getting frustrated, TALI interrupts her.)

TALI What time is Mira supposed to get here?

GEMMA What time is it now? (Looks at watch.) Oh gracious, could be any minute.

(GEMMA starts to gather up her crocheting.)

I’m so happy she’s finally settling down.

TALI Me too. Wasn’t sure if she would be able to love anything as much as she loves that job of hers.

GEMMA What is it she does again? She’s tried to explain it to me at least a dozen times.

TALI She works with, um, satellites.

GEMMA But what does she do with them?

TALI Well, she, you know, she checks them.

GEMMA Checks them for what?

TALI To make sure that they are sending the proper vibrations through the earth’s atmosphere--

GEMMA Girl, you have no idea what she does either, admit it.

TALI Fine, I don’t know. But it is somethin’ to do with satellites.

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(A noise is heard outside, and MIRA enters, calling out.)

MIRA Hello? Anybody home?

(GEMMA throws the scarf she’s been crocheting over to TALI and gestures for her to put it on in order to cover up her t-shirt. MIRA enters with a suitcase and backpack.)

GEMMA Oh, honey! Get over here and give me a hug!

MIRA Hi, Gemma. How are you?

GEMMA Doin’ just fine, how are YOU?

MIRA Great.

(TALI crosses to MIRA and hugs her, too.)

TALI Hey there, little sis. Good to see you.

MIRA You too, Tali.

(Awkward Pause.)

TALI I wish you would have let me pick you up at the airport. It’s only a few minutes away.

MIRA I know it is, but I told you on the phone, I wanted to get a rental car.

TALI You didn’t need to spend the money, you could’ve used mine...

MIRA I didn’t want to put anybody out. It’s really no trouble at all, Tali.

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GEMMA Never mind all that, let’s see your ring!

(MIRA shows off her wedding ring.)

Oh my laws, how beautiful!

TALI That thing is huge.

MIRA It’s not that big.

GEMMA Come and sit down on the couch, girl. Take a load off.

TALI I’ll take your bags into the study.

GEMMA Forget about that Tali, come and sit with us.

(TALI brings a chair over to sit by the other two. She is a little quiet while GEMMA and MIRA catch up.)

MIRA It is really good to see you both.

GEMMA I can’t believe it’s been three years since we’ve been together!

(Uncomfortable pause.) Alright, out with it. We want to know all about your honey.

MIRA Josh? I’ve sent you pictures.

GEMMA I know, but we’ve only seen how he looks. What’s he like?

MIRA Well, he’s a scientist...

TALI Like you.

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MIRA I’m not a scientist. I’m an engineer.

TALI That’s basically the same thing.

MIRA No. To say that we’re the same is like saying the Hubble telescope has exactly the same function as the International Space Station.

GEMMA That reminds me. Neither of us seems to understand really what you do. Would you mind explainin’ it to us one more time?

MIRA My work focuses on the non-deterministic design and analysis of parameterized optical structures during the conceptual design of telescopes--

(Long pause.)

TALI That’s kinda what I was thinkin’ you did--

GEMMA No it isn’t! You said she works with satellite vibrations.

MIRA Satellite vibrations? Where’d you get that?

TALI I thought I heard you say somethin’ to that effect.

MIRA No. Not even close. But that barely scratches the surface of what I do. I’m also analyzing the conditioning, reduction, and disturbance of large order integrated models for space-based telescopes--

(GEMMA and TALI are very confused.)

GEMMA Well, that’s wonderful. Isn’t it, Tali?

TALI Yeah. Really great.

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GEMMA (Changing the subject.) Anyway, tell us more about Josh.

(MIRA notices TALI is wearing a scarf.)

MIRA I will, but first, Tali needs to tell me why she’s wearing a scarf during the month of July in Texas.

TALI No reason. Gemma is making it for me, and we were checking the length.

GEMMA That’s right, I wanted to be sure it was long enough.

MIRA It’s kinda silly for you to keep it on.

TALI Actually, I kind of like it--

MIRA It’s 100 degrees out.

TALI Maybe I should take your bags to the guest room now.

MIRA Tali, why don’t you tell me what’s on your t-shirt. Is it an alien?

TALI Why would you say that?

MIRA Because there is also a blow up one by the front door. This must be your very special way of putting out the welcome mat for me.

GEMMA She was gonna change, Honey, but we got to talking.

MIRA You don’t have to defend her.

GEMMA I’m not defending her. I’m just tellin’ you the way it is.

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(TALI takes off the scarf and MIRA sees the t- shirt.)

TALI Ok, you got me. My t-shirt has an alien on it. And yes, I have placed Bob by the front door.

MIRA You named a blow-up alien Bob?

TALI And it’s not a special "welcome mat," it’s just me. I wear t-shirts, and I have a blow-up alien. Sue me.

MIRA I thought maybe you would grow out of that... eventually.

TALI If you mean grow out of believing in something as life-altering and ginormous as what happened to Daddy...

MIRA I’m not going to get into this with you right now, Tali.

TALI Get into what?

MIRA You know exactly what.

GEMMA Tali, remember what we were just talking about?

TALI Look you two, Daddy saw something--

MIRA When he was five years old!

TALI Yeah, but Granddaddy saw it too, and so did a lot of other people.

MIRA It shocks me that you still believe in this.

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TALI And it shocks me that you don’t. Come on! You work with space crap. You have to be seein’ things out there that you can’t explain.

GEMMA I would really like to hear more about Josh.

MIRA I work with telescopes. Not space crap.

TALI So in all the times you’ve looked through your little telescope, you and your scientist buddies--

MIRA I told you, I’m not a scientist, I’m an engineer.

GEMMA I bought a pineapple upside down cake for tonight. Tali, would you mind getting it out of the fridge?

TALI Well, you and your little "engineer" buddies must have seen something you can’t explain.

GEMMA How about an ice cream sundae?

MIRA If you knew the slightest thing about engineers, which apparently you don’t, and of course why would you--

GEMMA Okay girls, time out.

(Both are quiet.)

It’s been a long time since we’ve all seen each other. It would be really great if we could set aside our differences and celebrate our sister gettin’ married. Which would mean that I don’t have to spend the rest of our time together being your referee.

MIRA Sounds good to me.

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TALI Sorry, Gemma.

GEMMA I have a great idea. Tali, you said you had a little bridal shower game to play, right?

TALI (Hesitantly.) I do.

GEMMA Laws, I could go for a fun game right now. Why don’t you go get it?

TALI I don’t think that Mira will want to play it.

MIRA A game sounds great, Tali.

TALI Well, if you’re sure. Be right back.

(TALI leaves to get the game.)

MIRA You always have to do that, don’t you?

GEMMA Break up your fighting’? Yep. It’s a dirty job, but someone’s got to do it.

MIRA I don’t know why she always has to--

GEMMA Hold it right there. You’re just as guilty as she is. Man, you two can push each other’s buttons. You’re too much alike.

MIRA We are not!

GEMMA Oh yes you are. That’s what Daddy used to say, anyway.

(Pause.)

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MIRA I miss him, Gemma.

GEMMA I know you do, Honey.

MIRA The house doesn’t look any different.

GEMMA You know Tali. She doesn’t really like change. She’s pretty happy with things the way they are.

MIRA That’s what I was afraid of.

GEMMA I know how hard it must have been for you to come home, Honey.

MIRA I never want to fight like that with Tali again.

GEMMA My goodness, that was ugly! But we can laugh about it now, right?

(GEMMA sees that MIRA isn’t laughing.)

No? Too soon? Alright, no laughing.

(TALI enters with a stack of pages and a bag.)

TALI I think I got everything we need. Are you two sure you want to play this?

MIRA We’re sure.

GEMMA Bring it on!

TALI Alright, we’re goin’ to play a little game called "This is Your Life."

GEMMA Oooo, fun!

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(TALI starts to hand out scripts.)

TALI This is a story I wrote about Mira’s life, and in here are some props we can use as we read. I hope you like it. Everybody line up here. I’ll read the opening narration.

GEMMA Is this a play?

TALI More of a movie script, really.

GEMMA Well alrighty, let’s get started.

TALI Okay. (Reading from the script.) Thirty-five years ago, Mira Ceti Wilmar was born into this world.

GEMMA This is so sweet!

TALI Sh!

GEMMA Sorry.

TALI She joined a family with two older sisters who would love and protect her throughout the rest of her life.

GEMMA Awwww.

TALI Her parents, Mary and Adam Wilmar, who incidentally both died way too young…

GEMMA Amen.

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TALI …were thrilled to be bringing home this little wonder. In fact, that’s where her name came from. She was named after Mira Ceti, the star in the night sky. And the meanin’ of her name is "wonderful."

MIRA (Surprised.) Tali, this is actually very nice of you--

TALI But to really get to know her and her family, we need to go way back in time. Sixty-five years ago, to be exact. To the year 1947. The place, Roswell, New Mexico.

MIRA Wait a second.

(TALI keeps going.)

TALI Stephen Wilmar... (She stops reading for a second.) Mira, you read Grandaddy’s part.

MIRA Tali--

(TALI takes a bandana from her prop bag and hands it to MIRA.)

TALI Here. Tie this around your neck.

(She begins reading again.)

Stephen Wilmar, and his five-year old son, Andy--

GEMMA I want to read Daddy’s part!

TALI Sure. Here, put this on.

(TALI takes a baseball hat from the bag and gives it to GEMMA to wear. She continues to read.)

Stephen Wilmar, and his five-year old son, Andy, were driving through Roswell late one night in early July, on their way back home to Lubbock, Texas.

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GEMMA (Reading.) "Gee, Daddy. I’m sure tired from all this driving."

(MIRA reads from the script, none too enthused.)

MIRA "Don’t worry son, we’ll be home in a few short hours."

GEMMA "The stars are sure bright tonight, huh Daddy?"

MIRA "They sure are."

GEMMA (Pointing.) "What’s that, Daddy?"

MIRA "What’s what?"

GEMMA "What’s that in the sky?"

MIRA "That’s strange. I’ve never seen anything like that before."

GEMMA "Is it an airplane?"

MIRA "No."

GEMMA "Is it a weather balloon?"

(MIRA stops reading.)

MIRA Tali, Dad didn’t know what a weather balloon was when he was five.

TALI Keep readin’, we’re getting to the good part.

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MIRA (Continuing.) "No way can that be a weather balloon. Son, I think we’re seeing ourselves a real, live, unidentified flying object." I don’t believe this.

GEMMA "Wow!"

TALI "The following is pure speculation. But it’s how things might have happened if our protagonists had actually encountered these special visitors."

GEMMA "Daddy, stop the truck! There’s something in the road."

MIRA "Stay here, son. I’m going to get out and talk to them."

(TALI pulls alien eye shaped sunglasses out of the bag and puts them on. She attempts to talk like an alien.)

TALI "Greetings, earthling."

MIRA Seriously?

GEMMA That’s not your line, honey.

MIRA I know, but--

TALI "We come in peace."

MIRA Tali, none of this ever happened.

TALI I know, I said it was pure speculation.

MIRA This has nothing to do with my life!

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TALI Sure it does! Now keep reading.

(MIRA tries to keep calm.)

MIRA "Welcome to our planet. I’m Stephen."

TALI "Stee-Ven. I am known as Beta Ophantus Botien."

MIRA "Beta Oph-- How about I just call you Bob?" Tali--

TALI Keep reading.

MIRA Absolutely not. This is ridiculous.

TALI What’s wrong with it?

MIRA What’s wrong with it? Are you kidding me?

TALI I thought it would be fun!

GEMMA I’m having a good time.

(GEMMA sees how upset MIRA is, and quickly changes her tune.)

Tali honey, even though it was fun, knowing how your sister feels about extra terrestrials, it probably wasn’t the best idea to write a little skit about it.

TALI But you both said you wanted to play a game.

GEMMA We did. But I don’t think either of us had any idea where you were gonna go with this.

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MIRA How could we? And how did my birth turn into a science fiction story?

TALI I thought it was important to include it.

MIRA Well you thought wrong.

TALI Okay fine. I have some other games we could play.

GEMMA Great idea.

MIRA I don’t think so.

TALI Why not?

MIRA You know what I just realized? I’m really, really tired.

GEMMA Already?

MIRA Yes. I think I’m going to get ready for bed.

TALI But you just got here.

MIRA I know, but we’ll have plenty of time to visit tomorrow. Which guest room am I in?

TALI Your old room.

GEMMA Need a hand with your bags?

MIRA No, I’ve got them.

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(MIRA goes for her bags, and starts to exit.)

GEMMA Let us know if you need anything, alright?

MIRA Will do.

GEMMA Glad to have you home!

MIRA Thanks, Gemma.

(She exits.)

GEMMA Turnin’ in isn’t such a bad idea. Maybe I’ll get ready for bed, too. How about you?

TALI I’m gonna stay up for a little while.

GEMMA But not too long, you hear? We’ve got a big day tomorrow!

TALI Sure.

GEMMA ‘Night, Sweetie.

TALI ’Night.

(GEMMA exits. TALI cleans up the props and scripts. Lights fade.)

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SCENE 2

(TALI’s house, the next morning. GEMMA is sitting on the couch crocheting. MIRA enters with a bag of pastries and hot drinks.)

GEMMA Hey you!

MIRA Hi, Gemma.

GEMMA You’re up early.

MIRA Habit. I usually go for a five-mile run every morning.

GEMMA Not today?

MIRA Nope. Today I went straight for the pastries.

GEMMA You just bring those puppies right over here!

(MIRA crosses to the couch and shares breakfast with GEMMA.)

MIRA If I remember right, Tali isn’t much of a cook.

GEMMA She’s gotten a little better, but not much.

MIRA You’re up early, too.

GEMMA Habit as well. Mothers of four don’t get much of a chance to sleep in. It’s a luxury, and comes in a limited supply.

MIRA How are my handsome nephews doing?

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GEMMA Doin’ just fine. Busy as ever. They are all involved in some kind of sport, which makes DeWayne so proud.

MIRA They’re coming to the wedding, too, right?

GEMMA Sure are. We wouldn’t miss it.

MIRA Good.

GEMMA I really am happy that you’re getting married, Hon.

MIRA Me too. You’ll love Josh.

(Pause.)

You don’t happen to know what Tali has planned today, do you?

GEMMA Nope. She wanted it to be a surprise.

MIRA I don’t think I can take any more surprises.

GEMMA I know you hated that story last night, and I’m sorry. But her heart is in the right place.

MIRA She just doesn’t get it. She doesn’t get me.

GEMMA Maybe not. But you don’t really get her either, do you?

MIRA No, I don’t.

GEMMA Just try to this weekend, okay? Try to go with the flow, no matter where it leads us.

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MIRA I don’t know what this family would be like without you.

GEMMA I know, I know. I’m a gem. Just like my name.

MIRA Center star in the Northern Crown.

GEMMA I don’t know how Daddy convinced Mamma to name us all after stars, but he did. Amazingly, they all kinda fit us, don’t ya think?

MIRA They do. You know, Gemma is not only the middle star in the crown, but the brightest too. Some call it the jewel of the night sky.

GEMMA Alright, that’s enough.

MIRA It’s true! I love looking at that star.

GEMMA What, through your fancy telescope?

MIRA You mean satellite?

GEMMA (Confused.) But you said last night--

MIRA I was kidding. Yes, my telescope.

(TALI enters.)

TALI Hey, you two.

GEMMA Mornin’, Tali. Mira’s got pastries!

TALI You do?

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MIRA I do. Come have some.

TALI You don’t have to tell me twice.

(TALI crosses to the other two and grabs a pastry.)

Did you both sleep alright?

GEMMA Like a baby.

MIRA Just fine.

TALI Good. Because you’re both gonna need it.

MIRA Speaking of which, what’s on the agenda?

TALI On account of my game being such a bust last night--

GEMMA Come on now, Tali.

TALI I thought we could forgo any other games...

(TALI crosses to the table and grabs paper and a pen, then returns to her chair.)

...and help you plan your weddin’!

GEMMA That’s a wonderful idea.

MIRA What do you mean?

TALI (Writes.) Well, you’re getting married in October, right?

214 Texas Tech University, Page Petrucka, December 2014

MIRA Right.

TALI That doesn’t give us much time to plan everything. Have you decided on a location? I’ll bet there are some beautiful churches in Pasadena.

GEMMA (Warning her.) Tali.

MIRA (Uncomfortably.) No church, we’re going to have it outside. In a garden.

GEMMA What about colors? I was thinking of --

MIRA (Interrupting.) We already have our colors picked out.

GEMMA You do?

TALI What are they?

MIRA Mint and coral.

TALI Really?

MIRA Yes, really.

TALI When did you decide on colors?

MIRA Quite a while ago.

GEMMA But you just got engaged.

MIRA Officially. But we’ve been talking about marriage for at least a year.

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(Pause.)

MIRA I told you both--

TALI No, you sure did not.

MIRA I didn’t?

GEMMA We had no idea.

MIRA Oh. Well, yes, we picked out the colors.

TALI Fine. Let’s move on to the bridesmaid dresses. There are only certain styles that really look flattering on me.

GEMMA I’m a little picky, too.

MIRA Wait, wait. You both were planning on being bridesmaids?

TALI Of course! You don’t have any other sisters besides us, do you?

MIRA No, but--

TALI Then what’s the problem?

MIRA It’s going to be a very small wedding. Josh is having just one groomsman and I’m having one bridesmaid.

GEMMA Just one? Well, it should be Tali. She’s the oldest.

TALI No, Gemma, if she’s just gonna have one it should be you.

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MIRA I didn’t think either of you would want to be.

TALI Why not?

MIRA Well, because we hardly see each other. And our lives are so different...

TALI But we’re family.

MIRA I know, and that’s why I want you to be there.

GEMMA So, who did you ask?

MIRA One of my friends from work. In fact, she’s the one who introduced me to Josh.

(TALI and GEMMA are quiet for a moment.)

TALI Are there any wedding plans we can help with?

MIRA Josh and I pretty much have it covered. We’ve already booked hotel rooms for all of you. We’ll have a nice, simple ceremony with the reception later that night. Neither of you have to do a thing. It’ll be like a vacation for you both.

(Another pause before before MIRA speaks again.)

You know what? Why not have two more bridesmaids. Let’s go shopping for some dresses today.

(GEMMA and TALI protest.)

GEMMA No, no, don’t worry about it, Honey.

MIRA I just didn’t think that either of you--

TALI Forget it. Doesn’t matter now.

217 Texas Tech University, Page Petrucka, December 2014

(MIRA tries to lighten the mood.)

MIRA You can bring another guest if you’d like! Gemma, I know the boys are coming, but if you would like anyone else to join you...

GEMMA You mean like a date?

MIRA Aren’t you dating again? I mean, you’ve been divorced, what, a year now?

GEMMA I have been makin’ appearances in certain social circles, but no one special as of yet. I will say that it did feel good to dump DeWayne’s last name, and become a Wilmar again.

MIRA And how about you, Tali? The most eligible bachelorette in all of Lubbock, Texas? There’s got to be someone you have your eye on.

TALI What, me? I don’t think so. I gave up that pipe dream a long time ago.

GEMMA What about Steve?

MIRA Steve who?

TALI Steve nobody.

GEMMA Steve Jackson.

TALI I am not seein’ Steve Jackson.

GEMMA Yes, you are!

TALI We have lunch once in a while is all.

218 Texas Tech University, Page Petrucka, December 2014

MIRA Who’s Steve Jackson?

TALI I said, he’s nobody.

GEMMA (To Mira.) They dated in High School.

TALI We went on one date.

MIRA Why don’t I remember him?

GEMMA Because you were only ten when it happened, and Tali made me swear on my life never to tell anyone. But, Honey, it’s been long enough, don’t you think?

MIRA (Excitedly.) What? What happened?

TALI Now is not the time to be sharing the most humiliating experience of my life.

MIRA Oh, now you’ve got to tell me, Gemma.

GEMMA It’s time to come clean, so to speak.

TALI You tell this story, and I will leave.

GEMMA Oh no, you won’t.

MIRA Come on, Tali. Think of it as an early wedding present.

TALI An early wedding present? Really?

MIRA Yes!

219 Texas Tech University, Page Petrucka, December 2014

TALI (Gives in.) Fine. Tell the story.

MIRA Thank you.

TALI But hurry it up! The sooner you start talking, the sooner I can get my pride back.

GEMMA Alright.

(GEMMA dives right in.)

Steve had heard that Tali had a huge crush on him, and he kinda liked her too, so he asked her out on a date. Tali was so excited! Well, being the cowboy that he was, Steve thought it would be a really great idea to surprise Tali by taking her 4- wheeling in his brand new, shiny red truck. Tali had no idea that’s what they were going to do.

MIRA I thought you liked 4-wheeling?

TALI Not this time.

GEMMA You’ve heard the old expression "don’t spit in the wind," or "you can catch more flies with honey?" What are those things called again?

MIRA Colloquialisms.

GEMMA Right. Well, Tali learned a new one that day. "Never go 4-wheeling with a full bladder."

MIRA Oh no.

GEMMA Oh yeah. Poor thing! She kept telling him to head home, but he really wanted to see what his new truck could do, so he kept hitting those bumps as hard as he could. That leather seat never saw it coming.

220 Texas Tech University, Page Petrucka, December 2014

MIRA That’s hysterical!

GEMMA I know!

MIRA What happened with Steve?

GEMMA He felt so sorry for Tali, on account of it was kinda his fault for not telling her before hand what they were gonna do. He kept trying to ask her out again, but Tali just ignored him.

TALI Of course I did! I was so horrified by what happened...

GEMMA And the truck, well, it was never the same after that.

MIRA How did you meet up again?

GEMMA He’s her pharmacist. He got divorced about five years ago, started asking Tali out about three years ago, and they finally had their first date about two months ago.

MIRA Does he ever talk about it?

TALI We try to avoid the subject as much as possible. He does slip in an apology every now and then though.

MIRA Sounds like he really likes you. Maybe another Wilmar wedding is on the horizon.

TALI I don’t think so.

MIRA Come on, Tali. Life is too short!

(TALI and GEMMA pause uncomfortably.)

221 Texas Tech University, Page Petrucka, December 2014

TALI What time is it? (Looks at watch.) Holy cow, we gotta get a move on!

MIRA What for?

TALI Our next bridal shower adventure. Everyone hurry and pack an overnight bag. We gotta get on the road pretty quick.

GEMMA Oooo - a road trip! Where we goin’?

TALI That is a surprise! But I will tell you this, we’re takin’ the RV!

MIRA Tali, is this a surprise I’m going to enjoy?

TALI You’re both gonna love it.

MIRA Are you sure?

TALI Of course I’m sure!

MIRA I’m just a little leery of your surprises.

TALI You gotta trust me, little sister. Anyway, I got the RV stocked up and gassed up.

MIRA How long of a drive are we talking?

TALI Not too long.

GEMMA Will we get cell phone reception where we’re headin’? In case the boys need to get a hold of me.

TALI Oh yeah. Come on you two, let’s get going.

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MIRA I guess a little road trip will be nice. At least it’s not to Roswell.

(TALI tries not to give it away.)

It’s not to Roswell, is it?

TALI Roswell? No.

MIRA Tali? Where are we going?

TALI I can’t say, because it will blow the surprise.

MIRA I don’t believe it.

GEMMA Did I miss something?

MIRA We’re going to Roswell.

GEMMA We are?

TALI I didn’t say that!

MIRA You don’t have to.

GEMMA Wait, where are we going?

MIRA I’m not stepping foot onto that RV until you tell me where we are going.

TALI I really don’t want to--

MIRA Tali. Are we going to Roswell?

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(Long pause.)

TALI (Excited.) We’re going to Roswell!

MIRA Why? Why would you do that? You know how much I loathe that place!

TALI Almost as much as you loathe bein’ home in Lubbock, I know.

MIRA I don’t loathe being here.

TALI Yeah, you do.

GEMMA You kinda do, Sweetie.

MIRA Fine. I hate it here, too.

GEMMA Why do you hate it?

MIRA Oh, I don’t know. How flat it is? No, maybe it’s the wind that never stops blowing. No! I got it. The never ending supply of dirt and dust in the air.

TALI It does have nice sunsets, though.

GEMMA Sure does.

MIRA Anyway, we aren’t talking about Lubbock.

TALI No, we’re talkin’ about Roswell. Honestly, I just don’t think you’re giving it a fair shake.

MIRA I don’t want to go to Roswell!

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TALI This is why I didn’t want to say anything.

MIRA If you knew I wasn’t going to like it, then why did you plan it anyway?

TALI Because it’s not really about the location, right? It’s about us bein’ together!

GEMMA You might have thought to pick a less controversial spot, though.

TALI Alright, hang on. Let me explain.

MIRA I’m not going...

TALI Let me explain! Twenty years ago Daddy took us all on that road trip to Roswell for the opening of the UFO museum, remember? And do you remember how excited he was about it? Well, that RV park we stayed at is still there. Daddy’s not here to walk you down the aisle. But it would be a real nice tribute to him if we could go back to the place he loved so much and spend some time together.

(Pause.)

GEMMA That’s actually a real nice idea.

MIRA Gemma?

GEMMA Well, it is!

TALI Besides, I already paid for the camping spot, Mira.

MIRA I’ll reimburse you.

TALI It’ll be just like old times.

225 Texas Tech University, Page Petrucka, December 2014

MIRA I don’t want to relive the "old times."

GEMMA Honey, let’s just do this. I know it isn’t your favorite place, but it was Daddy’s.

MIRA I know it was, but--

TALI Gemma, you think we can bring that cake of yours along?

GEMMA I don’t see why not.

MIRA I haven’t even agreed to go!

GEMMA You know, I think a road trip is just what this family needs.

TALI I promise, I won’t bring Bob.

MIRA Why not? He’d fit right in.

TALI So I can bring him?

MIRA I was kidding.

TALI Oh. Just checkin’.

GEMMA What do you say, Mira?

(MIRA pauses before she gives in.)

MIRA Fine. Let’s go to Roswell.

(TALI attempts to contain her excitement as the lights fade.)

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SCENE 3

(RV Park in Roswell, New Mexico, later that afternoon. The stage is set with a table only. GEMMA and MIRA enter carrying camp chairs to set around the table. GEMMA also has with her a checkered table cloth.)

MIRA Well, Tali’s driving hasn’t improved with time.

GEMMA You are so right.

MIRA She doesn’t drive large vehicles much, does she?

GEMMA How could you tell?

MIRA Simple deduction. Taking into account both preliminary variables and parametric uncertainties, and also considering disturbance-input and performance-output--

GEMMA Whoa, Whoa, Whoa, there, Sister! You made absolutely no sense just then.

MIRA I didn’t even say anything yet.

GEMMA Let’s keep it that way. I don’t know how you do what you do. All that science talk--

MIRA Engineer talk.

GEMMA You’re real sensitive about that, ain’t cha?

MIRA As a matter of fact, yes. Engineers and scientists are two very different kinds of thinkers.

GEMMA What’s the difference?

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MIRA Honestly? Scientists figure out the why. Why something is the way it is. Engineers don’t bother with the why. They take the data given them, and make sense out of it.

GEMMA That sounds kinda fun.

MIRA It is. I love it.

GEMMA So, let me see if I understand this. As a scientist, Josh figures out why, and as an engineer, you figure out... everything else!

MIRA Huh. I never thought of it that way, but, yeah.

(TALI enters.)

GEMMA Sounds to me like a match made in heaven.

MIRA Let’s just call it a match, alright?

TALI Come on, Mira. There’s nothing wrong with your sister saying the word "heaven."

(GEMMA changes the subject quickly.)

GEMMA Everything hooked up?

TALI Yep. It was nice of the park manager to help us out. You know, when I camp I usually just use a tent. I haven’t taken the RV out in a while.

MIRA You don’t say?

TALI What do you mean by that?

228 Texas Tech University, Page Petrucka, December 2014

MIRA I’m saying I know just how you felt when you went on your first date with Steve Jackson.

GEMMA (Changing the subject.) I think I would like to sit at this table here in this lovely RV park and relax for a while. How does that sound?

MIRA Sounds good.

TALI I’ll sit in a minute. My legs need to stretch a little.

(TALI looks around.)

Things sure haven’t changed much around here.

GEMMA This is the same park we stayed in twenty years ago?

TALI Yep.

GEMMA I don’t remember it. Wish I did. They say pregnancy does that to you. They also say you forget more after each kid. After four, I’m lucky I can remember my own name.

(They all laugh.)

TALI (To Mira.) You and Josh gonna have kids?

MIRA Eventually.

GEMMA Have you talked about how many?

MIRA One, maybe two.

GEMMA You gonna wait long?

229 Texas Tech University, Page Petrucka, December 2014

MIRA Not too long, no.

TALI On account of your biological clock is tickin’ away?

GEMMA Tali!

TALI What? Mine’s been on snooze for the past twenty years. In fact, I think the power went out on my biological clock during that terrible lightnin’ storm 6 years ago and it’s been stuck blinking on midnight ever since.

GEMMA Still, you could have a little more tact with your sister.

MIRA Not the most delicate way of wording it Tali, but yes, I want to take advantage of my remaining childbearing years.

TALI I wish I would have had the chance to have kids.

MIRA Come on Tali, you still have time.

TALI No, I don’t think that’s what God intended for me.

(MIRA shifts uncomfortably at the mention of God.)

Okay little sis, knock it off.

MIRA What?

TALI I’m tired of you squirming every time I mention something religious.

MIRA Quit bringing it up, and I’ll quit squirming. You know how I feel about it.

TALI Oh I do. It is forever burned into my memory.

230 Texas Tech University, Page Petrucka, December 2014

GEMMA Tali, I thought that we were gonna void certain subjects.

MIRA It’s alright, Gemma. (Takes a moment.) I’ve already apologized for the way I told you both last time I was home.

TALI Well, maybe you need to apologize again.

MIRA You are so unbelievable!

TALI You told us at our father’s funeral that you don’t believe in God.

MIRA That is not what I said.

TALI That’s what I remember.

MIRA Well, you’re wrong.

TALI Then what did you say?

MIRA That I didn’t know what I believed.

TALI But you were raised--

MIRA I know how I was raised. Things change, though.

GEMMA What changed, Sweetie?

MIRA Nothing. Never mind.

TALI Typical.

231 Texas Tech University, Page Petrucka, December 2014

MIRA What do you mean by that?

TALI I mean that every time we are about to have a deep, meaningful conversation, you shut us out.

MIRA That’s not true. We talk all the time.

TALI No we don’t. And especially not about the real nitty gritty stuff. Safe stuff. "How was your day?" "Fine." "How was yours?"

GEMMA Tali’s got a point, Hon. You do kinda keep us at a distance. Almost like you have to protect yourself from us.

MIRA Not from you.

TALI From me?

MIRA (Exasperated.) NO! Not you either.

GEMMA Then what?

(MIRA doesn’t answer.)

You know, it seems to me that this all started when you were about eleven, when Mamma was, declining.

MIRA That was almost twenty-five years ago.

GEMMA I know. It was also when you and Tali started fightin’ like cats and dogs.

MIRA We were fighting long before Mamma got sick.

GEMMA No, Sweetie. You used to practically worship your big sis.

232 Texas Tech University, Page Petrucka, December 2014

MIRA What are you talking about?

GEMMA She was always, and I mean, ALWAYS watchin’ out for you. Daddy picked the perfect star to name her after. Talitha Borealis: the compassionate healer.

TALI Lookin’ back, I don’t think I was very compassionate after Mamma died. I kinda tried to take over for her.

MIRA Yes. You did. The problem was, I didn’t need another mother. I needed a sister. My big sister. I needed you to be just you.

TALI I didn’t realize that at the time.

MIRA Of course you didn’t. You never asked. You just barked out orders, and rules, and punishments. I couldn’t talk to you anymore! And I certainly couldn’t talk to God.

TALI Is that where all of this came from? Why you stopped believing?

MIRA I don’t want to talk about this anymore.

TALI Come on! We’re actually getting somewhere!

MIRA Stop pushing me, Tali.

TALI I not trying to push you, I just want you to open up!

MIRA (Exploding.) What do you want me to say? Ok, fine. I used to pray. I used to believe in God. But that was before Mom died. I couldn’t understand why an eleven-year old had to lose her mother. I kept looking up at the sky for some kind of sign that she was still there, still watching over me. And you know what? I saw nothing. I saw no sign of life, of Mom, of God. Nothing.

TALI Just because you can’t see something doesn’t mean it’s not there.

233 Texas Tech University, Page Petrucka, December 2014

MIRA Once something is gone, it’s gone. You can’t get it back.

TALI Funny, that sounds exactly like what you said at Daddy’s funeral.

GEMMA (Calmly.) I think it’s my turn to chime in here, if ya’ll don’t mind.

(No response from either.)

Mira, we all went through a terrible ordeal. Losing a parent at such a young age isn’t something you get over. You learn to live with it, sure, but you don’t ever get over it. Now, I don’t pretend to understand everything about religion. I’ve had doubts myself on occasion.

TALI Not you too, Gemma!

GEMMA But one thing I’ve come to believe is that there has to be something greater out there. I mean, just look at the Grand Canyon! Something that breathtaking doesn’t happen on it’s own, I tell you what.

(Pause.)

I don’t have to see you every day to know that I love you, and to know that I’ll see you again. Maybe it’s the same with Mamma and Daddy.

(All sit quiet for a moment.)

So, is anyone else hungry besides me?

MIRA Gemma, why do you always do that?

GEMMA Do what?

MIRA Change the subject!

GEMMA You weren’t saying anything.

234 Texas Tech University, Page Petrucka, December 2014

MIRA I was thinking!

GEMMA Well, I was uncomfortable!

MIRA I had more to say!

GEMMA So, go ahead. Nobody’s stopping you.

MIRA (Thinking.) I can’t remember what we were talking about.

TALI You were mad at Gemma for always changing the subject.

MIRA That’s right!

GEMMA Why?

MIRA Because it drives me crazy!

TALI She can’t stand it when we fight. She especially can’t stand awkward silences.

MIRA I know!

GEMMA Hey! Hold up right there. I thought you both appreciated it when I played the peacemaker.

TALI Most of the time, yeah.

GEMMA What I was going to say...

MIRA There you go again!

235 Texas Tech University, Page Petrucka, December 2014

GEMMA What?

MIRA Changing the subject!

GEMMA Because I’m hungry and I would really like to eat something. Would that be alright with everyone?

(Short pause before TALI and MIRA agree.)

TALI Yeah, I’m kinda hungry.

MIRA Me too.

GEMMA I swear! You kids are drivin’ me crazy!

TALI I just have one more question to ask Mira...

GEMMA Here we go...

TALI Why don’t you believe in aliens?

(MIRA tries to remain calm.)

MIRA Tali, let me be clear. I do believe that life exists on other planets.

TALI You do? I knew coming here was the right idea!

MIRA (A little too loudly.) However, I do NOT believe in extra terrestrial visitations.

TALI Shhh! Are you crazy? You can’t say a thing like that here in Roswell!

236 Texas Tech University, Page Petrucka, December 2014

MIRA (Growing louder.) Aliens have not visited our planet. I mean, the thought of it is laughable.

TALI Then you are laughing in the face of our daddy.

GEMMA She is not. She’s voicing her opinion.

TALI Do you agree with her?

GEMMA Well, now, I’m not quite sure. I believe that he and Granddaddy saw something. What it was, though, I don’t rightly know.

TALI (Pouting.) I know exactly what it was.

MIRA You do not.

TALI It was a flying object in the sky. The unidentified kind. In other words, a UFO.

GEMMA Hey you two. Remember how we were going to get ready for dinner? And before anyone jumps down my throat, yes, I did just change the subject.

MIRA You don’t always have to intervene when Tali and I are arguing.

GEMMA Yes, I do. I sure do. I may not have been able to keep the family I created together on account of my no good ex-husband, but I sure as hellfire am goin’ to do everything in my power to keep us together. Now, I am ready for dinner. Tali, what is on the menu?

TALI Pork and beans.

MIRA What?

237 Texas Tech University, Page Petrucka, December 2014

TALI It’s what we ate twenty years ago here in this RV park. Daddy cooked it himself.

MIRA You remember the menu?

TALI I remember a lot of things about that trip.

GEMMA I don’t know if I can stomach that tonight.

MIRA Let’s go into town. I’ll buy.

TALI You can’t buy! It’s your bridal shower.

MIRA Oh no. I’ve been to bridal showers. This little trip of ours doesn’t resemble one in the slightest.

TALI But the RV. I just got everything hooked up!

MIRA We’ll hook it all back up when we’re done.

TALI What if the manager’s gone by then? Who’s gonna help us?

MIRA I’m an Aerospace Engineer. I build telescopes. I think I can plug in an RV.

(MIRA starts to exit, anxious to be leaving.)

Come on, old ladies. Let’s move.

(MIRA is off.)

TALI Did she just call us old?

GEMMA That she did.

238 Texas Tech University, Page Petrucka, December 2014

TALI I don’t know if I should be offended by that or not.

GEMMA Why not? You’ve gotten offended by everything else she’s said since she got here. (Lowering her voice.) And I am getting tired of waiting. Are you going to tell her, or not?

TALI (Defensively.) I am! I will!

GEMMA What are you waitin’ for?

TALI I haven’t found the right moment. Besides, I don’t want it to ruin our trip.

GEMMA I can’t believe you just said that.

TALI She only comes home once every few years, and I don’t want her miserable the whole time she’s here.

GEMMA And just where have you been the past twenty-four hours?

TALI I will tell her. Just give me a little more time.

GEMMA You’ve got until we go to bed tonight. After that, I’m talkin’.

(GEMMA stands up to exit. TALI doesn’t move.)

What’s the matter now?

TALI I don’t want her feelin’ sorry for me.

GEMMA She’s gonna feel that regardless.

TALI Then she’ll feel obligated to help me, and that’s the last thing I want.

239 Texas Tech University, Page Petrucka, December 2014

GEMMA I don’t think you’re giving our sister enough credit.

TALI Maybe not. I just wish... (Pause.) I wish she could believe.

GEMMA Nothing is goin’ to convince her that little green men crash-landed here--

TALI Not that. I wish she could believe in what comes next.

(Both are quiet for a moment.)

GEMMA Come on, you. Let’s help Mira with the RV so we don’t have to eat your pork and beans.

TALI They’re good!

(GEMMA grabs TALI’s hand and helps her up.)

GEMMA No more whinin’. Up you get.

TALI (Standing.) I do not whine.

GEMMA Oh yes, you do.

TALI I do not! I may pout a little, but I don’t whine.

(They both exit.)

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SCENE 4

(Later that evening. The three sisters are sitting in their camp chairs looking at the stars. Each is sipping on a drink. TALI wears a glow-in-the-dark headband with antennas.)

TALI Goodness. Those stars are gorgeous tonight.

MIRA Not going to argue with you about that.

GEMMA (Lightheartedly.) And my work here is done.

MIRA She’s right. They’re incredible. I wish I had my telescope with me.

TALI I don’t have a telescope, but I do have another headband to wear. Interested?

MIRA You bought two of them?

TALI Sure, in case one breaks. Always good to have a spare.

GEMMA I’ll take it!

(TALI hands GEMMA a headband.)

TALI Here ya go.

(GEMMA puts it on.)

GEMMA This is kinda cute. Maybe I should get some for the boys, as a souvenir.

TALI They only cost a buck fifty. We can get more tomorrow. Anyhow, there’s one more gift shop I want to hit before we head back home.

(All look up at the sky.)

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MIRA Too bad we can’t have a campfire. I would love some s’mores right about now.

GEMMA Please don’t talk about food.

TALI You shoulda had the pork and beans.

GEMMA Enough with the pork and beans! (To MIRA.) And you! I can’t believe you ordered them, too.

MIRA I’m as shocked as you are. I was all ready to order a big, thick steak, but something came over me. And I hate to admit it, but they were really good.

TALI I know!

GEMMA Honestly, how can a restaurant mess up something as basic as a chef salad, but get pork and beans right?

MIRA The universe is full of mysteries.

GEMMA (Looking up.) Boy, Tali, you were right. Those stars are amazing.

TALI Mira, I know you’re used to seeing things up close and personal when you look through your uber powerful telescope, but when you look at stars like this through the naked eye, what do you see?

MIRA Knowing what I do about space, it’s practically impossible to set all of that aside in order to see the smaller picture.

TALI You mean, you don’t let yourself dream about what might be out there, or what’s waiting for us years from now?

MIRA I think about possible future findings, sure. But none of them involve little green men.

242 Texas Tech University, Page Petrucka, December 2014

TALI I’m not talking about that.

GEMMA What do you see, Tali?

TALI I see magnificence, wonder, magic-- but not in the wand waving sense of the word.

(Pause.)

I’ve never told you both why I love this place so much.

GEMMA I just assumed you love it because it reminds you of Daddy.

TALI That’s one of the reasons, sure.

MIRA I’m almost afraid to ask this, but why do you love Roswell, New Mexico?

TALI When we were here with Daddy last time, he and I stayed up late one night, just to talk. Ya’ll had gone to bed already. We sat in our camp chairs and looked up at the sky. Talk about a dreamer. Daddy was a star-gazer in every sense of the word. He new the name of practically every star, planet, and constellation.

GEMMA He made such a wonderful science teacher. Every high schooler that came through his classroom just adored him.

TALI Anyway, while the both of us were looking up, we saw the most amazing thing. A little light, smaller than your average star, zipped instantaneously from one side of the sky to the other. (GEMMA and MIRA both listen intently.)

Daddy said something to the effect of "Tarnation, did you see that?" The little light then started to make its way back across, but only got about half way. Suddenly, it began to move in a rapid, zig zag pattern, up and down, back and forth. We couldn’t believe what we were seeing! That light zipped back to where it began, over to the other side of the sky, made a few more zig zags, and then it was gone.

243 Texas Tech University, Page Petrucka, December 2014

GEMMA Are you kidding me?

TALI No I’m not.

GEMMA You never said anything about it!

TALI It was something special I shared with my dad. It was our "thing." I didn’t want to analyze it or debunk it, I just wanted it to forever remain what it was to us that night. A gift from God. A reminder that we are not alone in the universe. That there is so much more out there that we can’t understand, explain, or see. We just have to trust.

GEMMA Mira honey, what do you think it was?

TALI Don’t answer that! I do NOT want to know what scientists OR engineers think. I want that memory to remain just like it was for as long as I’m livin’.

(Uncomfortable Pause.)

GEMMA Speakin’ of...

TALI Gemma!

MIRA Speaking of what?

TALI Gemma, I asked you--

GEMMA It’s a perfect segue into what you need to tell our sister.

MIRA Tell me what? What are you talking about?

GEMMA Tali has some news for you.

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TALI Seriously, Gemma?

GEMMA Now, it ain’t the best news...

MIRA What’s wrong?

TALI (Getting frustrated.) This ain’t exactly how I wanted to bring this up--

GEMMA Quit stalling, and spit it out.

TALI I have cancer! Okay?

MIRA (Shocked.) What?

TALI Doctors found it about a month ago.

MIRA You have cancer? I don’t believe it.

GEMMA It’s true, honey.

MIRA Okay, wait. What?

TALI I’m sorry to tell you about it like this.

MIRA Hang on. Let me wrap my head around this.

(MIRA thinks for a moment.) We know a lot more about cancer now than we did when Mamma had it.

TALI It ain’t breast cancer. It’s ovarian cancer.

245 Texas Tech University, Page Petrucka, December 2014

MIRA Oh.

TALI I had surgery right after they discovered it--

MIRA You had surgery? And you didn’t tell me?

GEMMA Told ya she was gonna be mad.

MIRA You bet I’m mad! I should have been a part of this. I mean, you’re my sister for crying out loud.

TALI Your sister who’s not even a bridesmaid at your wedding?

MIRA That was insensitive of me. I shouldn’t have...

TALI Don’t worry about it.

MIRA I AM worrying. What did the doctors say after the surgery?

TALI They got what they could, but I begin chemotherapy next week.

GEMMA She was supposed to have started the chemo by now, but she made them put it off.

MIRA Why did you wait?

TALI I didn’t want it to get in the way of our time together. This weekend isn’t about me, it’s about you, and your getting married and everything.

MIRA What, I mean, how much--

GEMMA She has enough time. We’ll be at your wedding. Don’t you worry about that.

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MIRA That’s not what I mean.

TALI My chances of survival? Miracles can happen, can’t they?

MIRA Miracles?

(GEMMA gets teary.)

GEMMA It ain’t the best diagnosis, but we’re gonna fight it, right Tali?

TALI Yeah. Of course.

MIRA What can I do?

GEMMA You can go on and get married, that’s what you can do.

MIRA There’s got to be something else.

TALI Gemma’s right. You got a future to plan with Josh. I’ll stay around as long as I can.

MIRA How long will that be?

TALI Do any of us really know how long we’ll be around? The only thing to be done is the best we can with the time we got.

(MIRA rounds on GEMMA.)

MIRA Why didn’t you tell me any of this?

GEMMA She wanted to do it in her own way and her own time. She was afraid you’d feel sorry for her.

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MIRA (To TALI.) Of course I feel sorry for you! I know what’s coming. We all do.

(Pause.)

Tell me about the treatment they are prescribing.

TALI The first batch of chemo will take about a month. Then they’ll check and see if anything’s changed. Chances are I’ll have to have at least two rounds of chemo.

GEMMA I’m going to spend my weekends here for the next month. DeWayne’ll take the boys.

MIRA But what about during the week?

TALI I’ll be fine.

MIRA No, you won’t.

TALI Yes, I will. What other choice do I have?

(They are all quiet for a moment.)

GEMMA I hate to break the mood, but my chef salad has taken a turn for the worse. Will you both excuse me for a bit?

MIRA Sure, Gemma.

(GEMMA exits. TALI and MIRA are quiet.)

TALI I’m sorry I didn’t tell you about this earlier. I should have.

(MIRA doesn’t answer.)

What’cha thinkin’ about?

248 Texas Tech University, Page Petrucka, December 2014

MIRA Would you consider coming to California for your treatment? You can stay with Josh and me.

TALI Thanks, but no. All my doctors are here, and we have everything all set up for next week.

MIRA I don’t want you to go through this alone.

TALI I haven’t had anyone to rely on in a while. I’m used to it. I’ll be fine.

MIRA This is more than just a flu or a cold. You need someone here--

TALI I’ll figure something out.

MIRA This is ridiculous! You can’t be sick.

TALI Why can’t I?

MIRA Because you’re my indestructible, stubborn big sis. How could this happen to our family? AGAIN!

TALI This is no one’s fault, Hon. It’s just the way of it.

MIRA I’m not ready for you to go.

TALI I’m not ready for that either! You know me, I never go down without a fight. But I ain’t gonna live forever. None of us are.

(Both are quiet.)

I got a question for ya. What happens when a star dies?

MIRA This is not the time for a science lesson.

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TALI Don’t you mean an "engineer" lesson?

(MIRA gives her a look.) Come on, tell me.

MIRA It depends on the size of a star.

TALI Okay, let’s say a big star. Huge. What happens when it dies?

MIRA It causes a supernova.

TALI What’s that?

MIRA It’s when the star explodes in a very violent, powerful, spectacular manner. Like Fourth of July fireworks. But a whole lot bigger.

TALI Then what happens?

MIRA It leaves behind a black hole...

(MIRA stops.)

TALI What about the little particles left behind, after the explosion?

MIRA (Realizing.) Have you been watching the Discovery Channel?

TALI Maybe.

MIRA Then you don’t need me to tell you.

TALI Yes, I do. Come on, now.

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MIRA After a star erupts and causes a supernova, the material and matter left behind begin to form new stars.

TALI Now, that is interesting, isn’t it?

MIRA What do you mean by that?

TALI A star dies, but in a sense, it doesn’t, really. Kind of like us. We are born, we live, we die, but a part of us lives on, whether it’s through our offspring or if we don’t have any kids, through memories. So we don’t ever really go away. That’s a pretty neat little system, isn’t it?

(Both are quiet as they look up at the stars.)

MIRA What’s that up there?

TALI Where?

(MIRA points to the sky.)

MIRA That light up there. The movement is really erratic.

TALI What light?

(MIRA helps her out.)

MIRA Right there. See it?

TALI Oh, yeah.

MIRA Look at how it’s moving. (Her head moves quickly.) Wow, that was fast! What is that thing?

(MIRA stands and tries to follow the light. TALI looks briefly at the sky, but then back at MIRA.)

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Is this like what you saw with Dad?

TALI Kinda, yeah.

(TALI watches MIRA.)

MIRA I can’t believe I don’t have any of my instruments. Gemma is missing this. (Calling.) Gemma! Gemma, get out here!

(MIRA is getting very excited.)

Look at that zig zag! I’ve never seen anything like this. Gemma! You’re missing it!

TALI Amazing.

MIRA There it goes again!

(MIRA’s head moves as she follows the phenomenon once more across the sky. Then, just as quickly as it began, the light is gone.)

It’s gone. What WAS that? Tali, that was incredible!

TALI I know!

MIRA Gemma!

(GEMMA comes running out, frustrated, buttoning her pants.)

GEMMA I swear you two are just like my kids. I can’t get a moment’s peace even in the bathroom.

MIRA You missed it! We just saw the most amazing light in the sky.

GEMMA What are you talking about?

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MIRA It was like what Tali saw with Dad.

GEMMA You’re kiddin’ me.

MIRA I wish you could have seen it! I gotta call Josh. I have no clue what that was, but maybe he does. I’ll be right back.

(MIRA exits.)

GEMMA Well, what do you know about that? We come back here to the same spot, and not once, but twice you get to see an unidentified flying object!

TALI I didn’t.

GEMMA What do you mean?

TALI I didn’t see it. She pointed it out to me, but I didn’t see anything.

GEMMA What kind of game are you playing?

TALI I’m not playing a game!

GEMMA Then are you gonna tell her?

TALI Tell her what? That she didn’t see anything? I don’t know that.

GEMMA But you just said...

TALI Just because I didn’t see anything doesn’t mean she didn’t. In fact, I think she did.

GEMMA That just don’t make any sense.

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TALI Sure it does. Think about it for a second. You believe her, don’t you?

GEMMA Sure I do.

TALI But you weren’t right here with us to see for yourself.

GEMMA I was kinda in the middle of something.

TALI I know! But you believe her. And you believed me when I told my story, right?

GEMMA I guess I did.

(MIRA starts to enter.)

TALI Ok then. Just don’t say anything to her, okay?

GEMMA Your secret is safe.

(MIRA enters carrying her phone.)

MIRA It went straight to voice mail, I’ll have to talk to him about it later. Don’t worry, I don’t want to debunk this. I just want to investigate it a little further.

(Pause.) Tali, that was amazing.

TALI I know.

MIRA You would have loved it, Gemma.

GEMMA That’s what I get for trying to eat better.

(Pause.)

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MIRA I’ve been thinking. I have almost a month of vacation time coming. I’ll just take it now rather than after the wedding. I can stay with you during your first round of treatments. If you need me to stay longer, I can just take a leave of absence.

TALI You certainly will not! You are right in the middle of all your planning’--

MIRA Josh can handle it. I can coordinate a lot of it over the phone, anyway.

TALI I’m not gonna have you--

GEMMA Tali, quit bein’ so darn’ stubborn and let your sister help you out.

TALI I don’t want this to ruin your wedding.

GEMMA No wedding is gonna be ruined if Mira decides to spend some time with her sick sister.

TALI Gemma--

GEMMA I think it’s a great idea.

MIRA Then it’s settled. I’ll have to make a quick trip home and pack some things. When is your first treatment?

TALI Wednesday.

MIRA I’ll be back before then. You won’t have to worry about a thing besides getting better.

(TALI is overwhelmed.)

TALI Thank you, Mira. You too, Gemma. You don’t know how much this means to me.

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MIRA I know you’d do the same for me.

TALI I would. I really would.

GEMMA Mamma and Daddy would be so proud.

TALI I really miss them.

MIRA Me too.

GEMMA How about a toast?

MIRA Great idea.

(Each grabs her perspective drink and lifts it in the air.)

GEMMA To family.

MIRA AND TALI To family.

(They all toast and drink together.)

MIRA Hey, I got a game we could play.

GEMMA What?

MIRA Name that constellation.

GEMMA I do believe you would win that one, Mira.

TALI Wait now, I know a lot of them, too.

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GEMMA Yeah, but you don’t look at them through a satellite that detects the earth’s vibrations, do you?

TALI I am never going to live that one down, am I?

MIRA I hope not. Not for a long, long time.

(All three smile at each other.)

Alright. See that cluster of stars up there? Name it.

GEMMA The big dipper.

MIRA Close.

TALI The little dipper.

MIRA What else?

TALI That’s right. What else?

(The sisters talk and laugh as the lights fade.)

END OF PLAY

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