The American Legion Magazine [Volume 29, No. 1 (July 1940)]
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This is a BLUE RIBBON Country Count your blessings. nation over the backyard fence with your next door neighbor, are This is the best place on earth t you? Your street still rings with the laughter of Your ballot is louder than the thunder of dic- children, doesn't it? tators, isn't it?... You can have all the butter you want on your toast, can't you? . And You can belong to the fraternal order of your listen to whatever you like on your radio? choice, can't you? And go wherever you want to and stay out as late as you like? There's You've never been hit in the teeth with the been no need for blackout or curfew in butt of a musket, have you, and kicked into America, has there? the gutter, just because someone didn't happen to like the color of your skin, or the texture Your God is still mightier than your Govern- of your hair, or the shape of your cheek bones? ment, isn't He ? In short — you're still your own man! Chin up, You haven't heard of anybody starving in con- and face to the wind ! centration camps over here, have you? * * * A knock at the door doesn't send shivers up Let us hold fast to our faith in America; and your back, does it? never forget that this is You aren't afraid to discuss the state of the —A Blue Ribbon Country! PABST BREWING COMPANY 'Published by the makers of Blue Kibbon Beer in appreciation of the opportunity of In response to numerous requests, special reprints of growing up w ith America— from a tiny brew- ery on hill in Milwaukee, this page have been prepared. Copies suitable for a 96 years ago, into an institution w hich, today, serves the Nation. framing may be obtained by writing to Pabst Brewing Company, Milwaukee, Wisconsin. Copyright 1940, Pabst Brewing Company, Milwaukee DOWN WENT McGINTY — but he's out of the dog bouse now I THE prospective bride was worried. "Darling," she confided, if I marry you, I'll lose my job." "But, sweetheart, can't we keep our marriage a secret?" "Yes, but suppose we have a baby." "Oh, we can tell the baby, of course." AS AN IRISH temper, Mc- "NO MORE CLOTHESPINS will / QUICK Ginty plunged to save it. SPLASH! be weariu' on my nose," snapped Has he a chance? Is the pipe worth Mrs. McGinty. "Sure and it's good saving? Maybe some of the caked-in riddance to an ugly-sniellin' pipe!" bite and smell will get soaked out. And plop the pipe went in thewater! "Now, Judge, this is what I mean" THE blitzkrieg type of warfare, opines Chester Martin of Los Gatos (Cali- fornia) Post, is terrifically unfair to the generals. They have no safe place to hide in. r - ! "It was left here by the last tenant" FROM Norwich, Connecticut, Legion- naire John VV. McKenzie sends one about casting a show the Fletcher Post was going to put on for two nights. "I want eight of your most handsome Legionnaires to take the part of Grena- dier Guards," said the young lady who had come to Norwich to direct the show. "What do they have to do?" asked Commander John Bowman. 7£^^,,. UNCLE WALTER S DOG HOUSE "Merely be dressed in fine uniforms; EVERY TUESDAY NIGHT NBC * PRIZES FOR YOUR "DOG HOUSE ' EXPERIENCE they will not have {Continued on page 2) JULY, 1940 When Purchasing Products Please Mention The American Legion Magazine ^Bursts and Tf>uds Take \jife a \jitfle Easier (Continued from page i) to say a word during the whole show." "Not a word?" "No, not a word." "Splendid I will give you eight Past Post Commanders." "Why Past Commanders?" piped up one of the assembled buddies. "Because," said Commander Bowman, "it will be two nights we can have those birds with us and make them keep their mouths shut!" 'I was a sucker to take off mv hQ4 mask!" AYOUNG lieutenant, a middle-aged major and an elderly general were holding forth in the general's office, as Chet Brewer, Past Commander of Man- hattan (Kansas) Post, tells it. The topic of kissing was being disposed of, specifi- cally as to whether kissing your wife was GIVE YOURSELF A BREAK effort or pleasure. The lieutenant said that with him it was ninety percent If you're between 35 and 40, the chances pleasure and ten percent effort. The major allowed that with him it was fifty- are you've passed your physical peak. Then fifty. The general admitted to ninety pleasure. it pays to watch what you eat, conserve your percent effort and ten percent The sergeant on duty began shuffling the energy, exercise regularly. And if you drink papers on his desk, whereupon the what's your idea —never take "one too many". general said, "Sergeant, on this important matter?" Enjoy a whiskey you know Js extra- "Well, General," replied the sergeant, it can't be the way you say it is, or smooth, extra-light, extra-fine, Seagram's 5 you'd have me do the work for you." Crown— whiskey in its "smoothest" form. & ant/4e gfuxe Seagram-Distillers Corp., Offices: New York COST AT NO EXTRA gram's S Croft* Metric* '— Wtti&en WHISKEY IN ITS "SMOOTHEST" FORM . "Car 62 —Car 62 —Go to Main l Seagram's 5 Crown Blended Whiskey. 72 /2% grain neutral spirits. 90 Froof. and State at once . Riot" The AMERICAN LEGION Magazine When Pi-rchasinc Products Please Mention The American Legion Magazine — M-ECIOhT YOUR : ; .; Wartime Service INSIGNIA ON THIS LEGION AUTO EMBLEM only $400 I COMPLETECOMPLE' POSTPAID The large illustration — upper left — shows the Navy insignia . Smaller illustrations at left show the Marine Corps MARINE CORPS DIVISION (ARMY) INSIGNIA SERVICE (ARMY) INSIGNIA emblem, and two of the many Army emblems available. This distinctive American Legion-Service auto emblem is made for the three branches of the service Army, Navy, and Marine Corps ... If desired, the Army type auto emblem can be supplied with either your Division insignia or your branch of the service emblem— see small illustrations at left . Brilliant and colorful, this distinctive new auto emblem conveniently attaches to either license plate . Dur- able, lasting, and fully guaranteed . Only $1 each, complete, postpaid. Emblem Division, American Legion 777 North Meridian Street, Indianapoli s', Indiana I am enclosing a $1 bill for one of those new Legion-Service auto emblems. / have checked below the service insignia which I want on my auto emblem. 1 I Navy Insignia (Army) Division 1 Insignia 1 Marine Corps Insignia {Army) Branch of Service Name Street City Serial number of my I9b0 Legion membersh JULY, i 9+o When Purchasing Products Please Mention The American Legion Magazine ; CforCfodandcountry , we associate ourselves togetherjor thefollowing purposes: Oo uphold and defend the Constitution «_/oftheldnited States ofl7lmerica; to maintain law and order; tofoster andperpetuate a one hundredpercent Americanism to preserve the memories and incidents ofour association in the^reat^War; to inculcate a sense of''individual obligation to the com- munity.state andnation; to combat the autocracy ofboth the classes andthe masses; to make right the master ofmight; to promote peace andgood will on earth ;to safeguardand transmit to posterity the principles ofjusticefreedom and~democracy ; to conse- crate and sanctify our comradeship by our devotion to mutual helpfulness.— Preamble to tke Constitution ofThe American Legion. The Jlmerican July, 1940 Vol. 29, No. i LegionMAGAZINE Published Monthly by The American Legion, jfj West zzd Street, Chicago, Illinois EXECUTIVE AND ADMINISTRATIVE OFFICES EDITORIAL AND ADVERTISING OFFICES Indianapolis, Indiana ij West 48th St., New York City THE desperate character of the CONTENTS made into a virtually impregnable fighting in Europe between the COVER DESIGN base against European attack upon western democracies Hit- North and South America and the and By W. J. Aylward ler's Germany has provided the Panama Canal, just in case anyone BURSTS AND DUDS 1 American people with numerous ex- gets the notion that we won't light amples of the futility of relying RED LIGHTS AREN'T ENOUGH 6 to maintain the Monroe Doctrine. By T. H. Thomas on anything except our will to defend Legionnaire Tucker's "National what we have with every resource at BROADSIDES OF VICTORY 8 Whirligig" column from Washington our command. Norway, Denmark, By David I. Walsh appears in 232 American newspapers. Illustrations by Grattan Condon Holland and Belgium received sol- emn assurances from Hitler that he BANK JOB 10 ARED WHITE in Lampposti ana had no idea of invading them. Three By Karl Detzer Ix. Sabotage gives you a line on 1 /lustrations by J. W. Schlaikjer of these countries are functioning to- what the Fifth Columnists in America day under the swastika banner, and LF THEY COME AT US . 14 will doubtless try to do to our get- By Ray Tucker the fourth is maintaining its sov- ting-into-gear emergency program for ereignty far from its capital, with the LAMPPOSTS AND SABOTAGE 16 national defense. Barron C. Watson's conquerors in control of the southern By Ared White Ships and More Ships takes up the Decoration by Will Graven portion of the nation, as well of the role of the merchant marine as an majority of the ports of entry. TO THE LAST MAN 18 auxiliary to the Navy in peace and ii\ Fred B. Barton war. The editorial deals with the part Illustrations by Frank- Street UP TO May 10th, when Hitler's which every person who loves Amer- army began to overrun Hol- SHIPS AND MORE SHIPS 20 ica must take in proving to the world - land and Belgium, the war was a By Barron C.