SHAAREI ORAH Newsletter the Sephardic Congregation of Teaneck • 1425 Essex Road, Teaneck NJ, 07666 • 201-833-0800 •

בס״ד SHAAREI ORAH NEwSlEttER The Sephardic Congregation of Teaneck • 1425 Essex Road, Teaneck NJ, 07666 • 201-833-0800 • www.sephardicteaneck.org

Zmanim & Services Rabbi Haim Jachter

PARASHAT The Great Sephardic Yihud Controversy VAYISHLACH

Friday Night Many of the greatest Sephardic authorities of the prior generation, Rav Ovadiah Yosef (Teshuvot Yehva e Da’at 5:62), Rav Shalom Massas (Teshuvot Shemesh UMagein 1: EH: 4 and 3: EH 34), Rav Ezra Shir Hashirim 4:05 pm Attiah (Teshuvot Alei Ezra, Hiddushei Halacha section page 83), Rav Ovadiah Hadayah (Teshuvot Yaskil Candle Lighting 4:14 pm Avdi (7 EH 10) and Rav Ben Tzion Abba Shaul (cited by Rav Yitzhak Yosef tehumin 31:255) all agree Minha 4:15 pm that Sepharadim should continue to follow their age-old tradition to defer Yihud until after the wedding. According to Sephardic tradition since the time of the Radbaz (Teshuvot 1:45 and number 931), followed by Kabbalat Shabbat / a Sephardic Hatan and Kalah do not retire to the Yihud room for a few minutes after the Huppah. Arvit Arguments of Hacham Yitzchak Yosef: Hacham Yitzhak Yosef, the son of Hacham Ovadia Shabbat Morning and the current Sephardic Chief rabbi, champions the traditional Sephardic approach in an essay printed in Tehumin volume 31. Among his arguments is that the Hatan and Kallah locking themselves in the Heder

Yihud after the Huppah is unseemly (Mechu’ar). Moreover, he argues that since Yihud completes Nisu’in Shaharit 8:30 am (the second portion of the marriage ceremony) according to the Rambam, Tur and Shulhan Aruch a couple Latest Shema 9:17 am are married after Yihud, requiring the Kallah to cover her hair. Customarily, a Kallah does not cover her Minha 4:00 pm hair during the wedding celebration. Arvit 4:59 pm Havdala 5:09 pm However, Hacham Yitzhak has much to explain. The Berachot for Nisu’in are recited at the Parent Child Learning 7:00 pm Huppah. Delaying Yihud for hours after the Birchot haNisu’in recited beneath the Huppah appears highly irregular. Hacham Yitzhak counters, though, that these Berachot are ones of praise to Hashem for which Weekly Schedule the process need not be completed soon after their recital (unlike Berachot recited over a Mitzvah). Another questionable side of Hacham Yitzchak’s argument is that the Berachot at the end of the Shaharit wedding banquet/Se’udah seem out of place if Yihud is not completed. Hacham Yitzhak counters, that for this regard, Sepharadim abide by the Rishonim who regard the Hatan covering the Kallah with his Tallit as Sunday 8:00 am the completion of Nisu’in.

Mon/Thu 6:20 am Response of Rav Shlomo Levy: In response to Hacham Yitzhak’s article, Rav Shlomo Levy, the highly respected Rosh Kollel of Yeshivat Har Etzion (and son-in-law of the eminent Rav Haim David Tue/Wed/Fri 6:30 am HaLevi, the deceased Sephardic Chief Rabbi of Tel Aviv) penned a respectful rebuttal that appears in Tehumin volume 32. Rav Levy defends the what he presents as the current trend of Sephardic couples Minha/Arvit retiring to the Yihud room after the Huppah. He notes the difficulties in Hacham Yitzhak arguments. Moreover, he offers a compelling reason to change the age-old Sephardic practice. Rav Levy Sunday 4:10 pm notes that Ashkenazic practice does not accept such a large break between the Berachot of Nisu’in and the completion of Nisu’in, as defended by Hacham Yitzhak. In the contemporary setting Sephardic couples will most often wish to honor some Ashkenazic guests with the recital of one of the Sheva Berachot.

Ashkenazim, argues Rav Levy, would be unable to recite these Berachot if Yihud is delayed until Hatan and Kallah go home after the wedding. This did not pose a problem in prior generations when Sepharadim and Ashkenazim were hardly as integrated as they (Baruch Hashem) are currently. A change in the practice regarding the timing of Yihud enables Ashkenazim to recite Sheva Berachot at a Sephardic wedding.

In addition to Rav Levy’s point, we should note that Rav Mordechai Willig cogently argues that the obligation for the Kallah to cover her hair only after the wedding is consummated. His logic is as follows The Halachot of hair covering are derived from the Sotah (Ketubot 72a). The rules of Sotah, in turn, apply only if husband and wife had previously consummated their marriage (Sotah 24b). Thus, the married woman’s obligation to cover her hair applies only after the marriage is consummated.

Conclusion - A Suggested Compromise: Rav Yitzhak Yosef in the Tehumin essay describes the passion with which his father Rav Ovadia felt about this issue. On the other hand, many Kallot (especially Ashkenazic women) and their families very much want to conduct a Yihud after the Huppah. This can sometimes lead to conflict when planning a wedding.

Rav Yosef Sharbat, the Rav of the Sephardic Congregation of West Orange, New Jersey, suggests a compromise to resolve such conflicts. Conduct a “Yihud” but in a manner not defined as Yihud according to Halacha. This involves leaving the door unlocked and not designating Eidim to stand outside the Yihud room. In fact, Rav Sharbat made this suggestion to the Mesader Kiddushin Rav Eliyahu Ben- Haim of Yeshiva University at his wedding. Rav Ben-Haim consented and this is what was done to the satisfaction of all involved.

Congregation Shaarei Orah is an inclusive kehillah, all are welcome regardless of edah or level of observance. בס״ד SHAAREI ORAH NEwSlEttER The Sephardic Congregation of Teaneck • 1425 Essex Road, Teaneck NJ, 07666 • 201-833-0800 • www.sephardicteaneck.org

Announcements

 Our heartfelt Condolences to our rabbi emeritus Rav Ely Allen Shlita, upon passing of his father Albert Allen z"l. Kevura was in Israel. Rabbi Allen's Israel number 058 402 8538 and American number in Israel 929 322 8612.

 Kiddush this Shabbat is sponsored by the Kiddush Fund.

.יהודא לייב בן זאב , Seudah Shelishit this shabbat is sponsored by sponsored by Ezra and Vivian Ghazal in memory of Vivian’s father

 Thank you to the Kiddush Fund for sponsoring Kiddush last week and thank you to Joyce and Carmi Mizrahi for sponsoring Seudah Shlisheet last week.

 Triple Match for Shaarei Orah for #GivingTuesday: Shaarei Orah invites you to participate in #GivingTuesday 2018. Matching Funds available one week only. In honor of #GivingTuesday when people around the world unite to celebrate a day of giving, we have received a pledge from a group of generous donors who will be providing a TRIPLE MATCH of #GivingTuesday donations made to Shaarei Orah from Tuesday, November 27th through Tuesday, December 4th. Use this opportunity to support our kehila, expand our wonderful programming, help provide security and help us grow. Use this opportunity to make a new donation and arrange payment plans for your outstanding balance. Matching funds will be donated to Shaarei Orah for all NEW donations and the first payment on all NEW balance payment plans (excludes existing monthly payment plans). To participate in #GivingTuesday visit http://www.sephardicteaneck.org/form/donation.html. You can also mail in checks to Shaarei Orah, 1425 Essex Road, Teaneck, NJ 07666. Please reference #GivingTuesday on your payment. For more information and to set up your new payment plan please contact [email protected] (201) 833-0800.

 Thank you to everyone who donated baby and children’s clothing, hat, coats and shoes to Jewish Federation of Northern New Jersey’s Mitzvah Day. I was able to drop off 14 large bags from Shaarei Orah which will go to Yad Leah, whose mission is to help alleviate poverty in Israel by providing new and lightly used clothing to lower income communities in Israel. Amy Elfman

 Parent child learning is sponsored by anonymous in honor of our Kehila.

 Happy Birthday to Eliyahu Nissim Cohen (21 Kislev), Hallel Cohen (21 Kislev), Bracha Esther Jachter (Nov 23), Yoni Leibowitz (15 Kislev), Dvir Levy (Nov 25), Sarah Negari (20 Kislev), Kim Steiner (Nov 27).

 Come and participate in our wonderful classes. See details below.

Shaarei Orah Inaugural Dinner

SAVE THE DATE: Dear Members and Friends, It is our pleasure to announce that the Inaugural Shaarei Orah Dinner will take place on Sunday, March 10, 2019, at 5:00pm at Congregation Ahavath Torah in Englewood, New Jersey. We are very excited to recognize the exceptional dedication and meaningful contributions of our Honorees and Awardees.

Our Dinner is also an opportunity to celebrate the past, present and future of our wonderful Synagogue and Sephardic community. We hope you will join us in expressing our gratitude to our outstanding Honorees and Awardees and to celebrating Shaarei Orah as the center of the Sephardic community in Teaneck. We look forward to personally greeting you on March 10, 2019! Congregation Shaarei Orah is an inclusive kehillah, all are welcome regardless of edah or level of observance. בס״ד SHAAREI ORAH NEwSlEttER The Sephardic Congregation of Teaneck • 1425 Essex Road, Teaneck NJ, 07666 • 201-833-0800 • www.sephardicteaneck.org A Story – The Wise Man Dvar Torah by Rabbi Zelig Pliskin

There was once a wise man to whom The Torah states: people would always go and complain about the same problems every time. One day he told "And (Jacob) commanded (his messengers) saying: This is what them a joke, and everyone roared in laughter. you should say to my master, to Esau -- this is what your servant Jacob said: 'With Lavan I have dwelt and have been delayed until now" (Gen. 32:5). After a couple of minutes, he told them the same joke and only a few of them smiled. What lesson can we learn from this? The Ohr HaChayim explains that Jacob's intention in relating this to Esau was to show his brotherly love When he told the same joke for the for him. When two people love each other, one shares with the other all the third time no one laughed anymore. things that happened to him. This includes both the good things and the misfortunes. Sharing this information is a sign of closeness and for this The wise man smiled and said: reason Jacob told Esau about both the good and the bad that he had experienced. “You can’t laugh at the same joke over and over. So why are you always crying about This is an important principle for someone who wants to become the same problem?” close to another person. When you open up and share your life experiences, it helps develop friendship and closeness. It is possible to be acquainted with

someone for many years without really knowing him. When you share Moral of the story: Worrying won’t solve personal information with others, you gain an emotional connection. While your problems, it’ll just waste your time and one must be careful not to relate information that would constitute loshon energy. hora (gossip) or that could cause difficulties, a deep level of communication is a prerequisite for closeness.

Source – Aish.com Wisdom of The Week by Ezra Ghazal

A strong marriage is when two people take turns being strong for each other in the moments when the other feels week

Weekly Riddle Time to Smile

Which word in the dictionary is spelled incorrectly? A bank is a place that will lend you money if Answer is located on the back sheet, guess before you look!!! you can prove that you don't need it.

ALLERGY NOTICE

Please be aware that we have children with serious, life-threatening, nut allergies in our synagogue. Due to concerns for nut allergies, Congregation Shaarei Orah is a “nut aware” facility. Accordingly, all food for both public and private events, including our Shabbat youth groups, may not contain nuts or nut products of any kind (this includes products that "may contain" nuts or that were "processed in a facility" that also processes nuts). While each parent is primarily responsible for the safety of his or her children, we do ask that you do not send your children to Shabbat groups with snacks and candy from home and to refrain from bringing in and distributing any food in the synagogue that contains (or may contain) nuts. Your cooperation in keeping our children safe is appreciated. Also, candy used for any simha, such as bar mitzvah candy bags, must also abide by these guidelines. If you have any questions about what products are safe and what are prohibited, kindly contact the office at [email protected], prior to bringing into the synagogue. If your child has life threatening allergies of any kind, please let the office know ASAP so we can alert the congregants and youth leaders to help minimize the risk of any harm.

There will be a blood drive at Keter Torah, 600 Roemer Avenue, Teaneck, on Sunday, December 2, from 9:00am– 2:00pm. To schedule an appointment, visit https://donor.cbsblood.org/donor/schedules/drive_schedule/48548 or call 201- 251-3703.

A night of inspiration and Music with Rav Moshe Tzvi Weinberg and Zusha. Join us for an evening of chizuk, music, Torah, and light on Motzei Shabbos Chanukah, December 8th at Congregation Keter Torah, 600 Roemer Ave., Teaneck at 8PM. Open to men and women of all ages. Tickets can be purchased at https://www.eventbrite.com/e/motzei-shabbos- chanukah-w-rav-moshe-tzvi-zusha-tickets-51300795059.

PROJECT EZRAH ANNUAL DINNER- Saturday, December 15th, Congregation Ahavath Torah, 240 Broad Avenue, Englewood, NJ, 8pm. Support Your Neighbors And Friends By Attending The Project Ezrah Dinner at www.ezrah.org or 201-569-9047.

CCSA welcomes any family member with a loved one suffering from addiction and substance abuse issues to our local support group, which meets every other Wednesday evening in Teaneck. The group is free of charge and is facilitated by clinicians specializing in addiction. For more information and the location of the meeting, please email [email protected].

*** Answer to the Weekly Riddle – Incorrectly.. ***

WEEKLY SHIURIM @ SHAAREI ORAH

 Rabbi Jachter: - Shabbat morning Pre-Sha’harit Humash Shiur at 8:30am - Shabbat afternoon shiur on Hilchot Shabbat: 40 min before Minha - Thursday evenings at 7:30pm at 315 Churchill Road on Torah & Science.

 Rabbi Michael Chernlck: Hilchot Yom Tov, Tuesday night, 8:15 pm

Shaarei Orah Contact Information

Thank YOU for joining Tefilot @ Shaarei Orah. Please mail all donations & payments to: Shaarei Orah – 1425 Essex Road, Teaneck, NJ 07666 or online at www.sephardicteaneck.org Tizku L’mitzvot!!! To sponsor any event, send a donation card, place an ad in the newsletter or to receive our weekly newsletter by email please contact [email protected] or call 201-833-0800. Shorashai Orah, the sisterhood of Shaarei Orah contact: [email protected] RABBI: Rav Haim Jachter - [email protected] President: Joshua Murad - [email protected] Vice President: Shlomo Levy | Treasurer: Isaac Dayan | Secretary: Blanche Silver | Gabbai: Shalom Shushan Billing questions contact: [email protected]

Congregation Shaarei Orah is an inclusive kehillah, all are welcome regardless of edah or level of observance.