How to beat stress...with SEX - Trans and HIV positive - #20biteen

BGT finalist La Voix

1 £3.50 4playTV // FIVE

The Greatest Artist to Ever Be // NINE

Double Minority // THIRTEEN

A Education // SIXTEEN

Comedy Animal // EIGHTEEN

Our Healthy Minds // TWENTY TWO

Bisexuality - Not Just a Phase? // TWENTY FOUR

Trans, Queer, and HIV positive // TWENTY NINE

What’s the Deal with ? // THIRTY

Stress and Your Sex Life // THIRTY SIX

2 Contents Letter from the editor To my dear reader,

Christmas has come around and our first issue has arrived. It’s here, it’s queer, and it’s certainly not one that you want to miss!

London needed a magazine for the young, the fun, and the quirky, and we are here to fill that gap.

Queer London is not just a magazine, but a lifestyle. Being loud and proud while looking at the best events, current issues, and sexual tips and tricks.

Our first issue includes an exclusive interview with our cover girl QUEEN, La Voix. She lets us in on life as a commedian.

As well as this we attended the Body Worlds exhibiton, seeing each and every organ you can imagine!

As well as the fun, this issue also looks at some of the problems being faced within the LGBTQ community at the moment: biphobia, racism, and more.

And don’t worry, we did not forget to get hot and steamy! Does stress affect our ability to climax? Do think they are immune to STDs? We made sure to dive deep in.

I hope you love the issue, and I’ll be sure to catch up with you in the next one, Monique

3 Our esteemed contributors...

Jakub is fun and irreverent. He has a passion for all types of journalism - especially the arts. Mary is passionate filmmaking, music and food. She likes to write about important issues like health and equality.

Alina is a passionate fashionista - you’ll never catch her out of style. She LOVES photojournalism.

Caitlin is an out and proud , who loves writing about polictical issues in the LGBTQ community. 4 4 PLAY TV

Have you ever sat down in front of your laptop or a TV and wondered why most of the stories are about straight white characters? Then, maybe you started to wonder if there are any shows out there about queer characters of colour, about their lives and their struggles?

One day, Stevii Campbell, 30, asked herself the same question. Now she’s the CEO of Mayfive Creative Arts Production, as well as the director and producer of 4playTV.

“Well to be fair, like, one day I just thought to myself, let me just look on YouTube,” says Stevii. “I wanted to see like a lesbian web series with black people, like myself…” She found a few but she thought to herself “Shit! Like, we don’t have a London one!” Stevii then got heavily involved in the LG- BTQ community and approached her friends who were in the filmmaking industry saying, “Hey, I’ve got an idea!”

5 (Cast members from 4 Play TV

4playTV is a web series that looks screen. Stevii says, “I wanna see being a straight male, at first got into the lives of four black, more people from my commu- involved just because he was . All of these main char- nity in Hollywood film, like in big looking for something to do. “Four acters still come from different films, for them to have the same young characters who’re all wom- backgrounds so the issues and opportunities.” She is a part of en and gay? I was quite intrigued struggles they have vary. Each the LGBTQ forum and says that by that because I thought it was of the characters has their own she gets involved whenever she something different. We don’t unique aspect to themselves, can. Stevii is a community per- really see these situations hap- they each have their own drive. son, a “people person” but not pening,” says Lakbir. “We usually They all have their reasons and only to the LGBTQ community. see a lot of men or young male circumstances that makes them While she identifies as gay, she characters as the main protago- do what they do. Some of them is also trying to support whenever nists.” are struggling with their sexual- and whoever she can – it doesn’t ity and others with the cultural all come down to her sexuality. He says that in every episode of values of a society that doesn’t “These are just people, the same 4playTV you can see the different condone their lives and loves. as other people,” says Stevii. struggles and issues the char- They’re dealing with a variety of She has also focused her atten- acters are facing. Sometimes it issues throughout the first sea- tion on young people involved might be a family member not son which has been out for quite in gangs, which will be shown in approving of the character being some time and is available on the upcoming second season of gay, the transition of a trans- YouTube. 4playTV. gender character like in the new season, or even the street life of Stevii made the entire first season However, this show is not only London and its life of crime. of 4playTV independently with a about being queer. Stevii wants friend. “Making sure there was the series to be known for her Season two of 4playTV is due in crew, making sure, like, the cast creative art and not her identity. early 2019, with more struggles was there. But this game was re- “I’d like to be on TV, I’d like to and more tackling of the issues ally different than the skill that I’m be spreading the message, I’d that some had overcome and working now. I’ve learned a lot on like to be doing things like, you others still have to face. Stevii my journey.” know… workshops. I’d like to proudly says, “We’re gonna be have places where people could coming into the New Year defi- The purpose of this particular feel included.” nitely with 4playTV.” ∎ web series is for the LGBTQ viewers to feel proud of who they Lakbir Tari, 24, the sound opera- are and to feel included on the tor for season two, says that he,

6 7 8 The greatest artist to ever be.

A bold statement isn’t it?

It’s also an undisputable one.

It’s no mistake that this artist’s work has been attributed to de- ities since the inception of the term ‘beauty’ and that history’s most adored sculptures and paintings are mere interpretations or attempted copies of this artist’s original work. 9 We are of course talking about real flesh. What is just as difficult health the exhibition also features nature and we invite you to is controlling the urge to read, displayed organs of smokers and explore the unique beauty be- listen and learn exactly how this obese individuals, so if nothing stowed literally within us while particular piece of what makes seems to be motivating you to maybe even learning something you human functions. stop smoking or start exercising about these intricate constructs then perhaps a personal view we call our bodies. And the breadth of featured of what your lungs, spleen and pieces of us is truly impressive, heart might end up looking like if There is no better place for this the functions of all our major you don’t might be the push you than Body Worlds right in the organs and systems are coher- need. heart of London. This unique ently explained. So much so that exhibition features an astounding we found ourselves reading and Some disclaimers are in order number of expertly preserved listening to every little piece of however. Firstly (and this should and dissected real human bod- information presented as did al- go without saying) do not go if ies, formerly belonging to individ- most everyone we talked to after you are particularly squeamish uals who donated them for scien- the exhibition, even many kids or if you have a particular fear of tific research and education. had fun learning about the human death. This exhibition displays body. real human body parts. One Right now you might be pictur- specific body part that’s promi- ing some sort of macabre horror The exhibition will be additionally nently displayed is the penis so show or the basement of a de- compelling to those interested if for some reason you aren’t fully ranged psychopath but that is far in mental health as subjects into seeing many of those then from how this exhibition is por- such as dementia and stress this is something you might want trayed; it is impossible not to be are explored in detail with visible to avoid. And lastly you should be filled with respect when confront- comparisons between bodies warned that this exhibition does ed by exhibit after exhibit pains- of healthy minds and those who also feature a dead fetus with- takingly shaped to reveal to you suffered from mental illness. And in a woman who died during a some specific part of yourself in while we’re on the subject of pregnancy which we understand 10 some people might find distaste- ful.

By now you’ve probably decided if this is the kind of day out for you or not but for those on the fence for whatever reason wheth- er its the £25 ticket price tag or the possibility that you might end up being repulsed by what you see; there is a free alternative for those who might want to dip their toes into the themes explored in Body Worlds and their particular methods of presentation.

This is the Wellcome Collection, and no that is not a typo. The main aim of which is to chal- lenge how we view health. This is mostly done through temporary exhibitions (some past exam- ples range from an exhibition of artwork and poetry created by former residents of the Bed- lam asylum to a showcase of the history of dentistry to what’s currently on; ‘living with build- ings’ an exploration of the effects our urban surroundings have on our physical and mental health.) however the main star here is the Wellcome collection itself which features mummified bodies and human cross-sections preserved in formaldehyde among many other weird and wacky artefacts mister Wellcome managed to collect along his travels including medieval sex toys and Charles Darwin’s skull pummelled whale- bone walking stick.

Overall Body Worlds is an incred- ible experience and a must see for anyone who can stomach it if for other reason than the fact that it’s one of the few places where you can get an anatomically cor- rect ‘I (heart) London’ jumper. ∎

11 12 Double Minority

While against people in the LGBTQ community is a huge issue, it also appears there is a large amount of against BAME LGBTQ people, this time coming from within their own community. Monique Reynolds-Blanche talks to queer people of colour about the issue.

Fifty-one percent of Black, Asian “It doesn’t surprise me at all. If because it’s something I’ve and minority ethnic people have anything, I’m surprised the figure always reckoned with, and felt I faced racial discrimination with- isn’t higher,” says Jason Okun- had to reconcile that with being in the LGBTQ community, ac- daye, a 21-year-old policy officer black and Nigerian,” he says. cording to the campaign group who is proudly both black and . Many people from gay. He grew up in a British Nige- “Whilst I’m just minding my busi- BAME backgrounds face a differ- rian community, where he attend- ness, white will often ent experience within the LGBTQ ed church hall parties, eating his come up to me either assum- community than their white peers, favourite Okele and Jollof rice. ing I’m a drug dealer or know and are considered a double a drug dealer, or asking if they minority. “My sexuality is also important can sample my ‘big black cock’. 13 14 Whenever I tell them to get lost, Black Pride promotes unity and the retaliation of racist insults and inclusion of all types of people no degrading comments is disgust- matter their background. ing.” Sarauniya Shehu, who goes by If the same racism that takes the name Sas, also attends Black place within the LGBTQ commu- Pride each year. “UK Black Pride nity, was being used in a work is the only Pride I acknowledge,” environment, or in public spaces, the 24-year-old, Bi/Queer black it would be considered as a hate woman said. crime. The racism against queer BAME people is appearing to be “It is extremely refreshing to be ignored. It seems that it is easier in a space where you are not the to get away with saying racist minority in either sense. I feel like things within a community behind being queer often means you are closed doors, as there will be no expected to drop your cultural serious consequences. background, as it is not seen as compatible. It is hard to be Black BAME people are starting to find in queer spaces and it is hard to their space within the LGBTQ be queer in Black spaces, and it community, but it’s been an uphill often feels like you are only show- climb. For example, the gay dat- ing part of yourself depending on ing app Grindr has been known where you are.” for its overt racism against black and minority ethnic people, mak- To solve the issue of being ste- ing it a safe space only for white reotyped or feeling unwelcomed, gay men. Sas now attends a number of different events like Black pride “Online dating apps are an easy that welcomes LGBTQ people of way to discriminate against ra- all ethnic backgrounds and pro- cialised people of course, be- motes unity. These include BBZ, cause they’re convenient and you which is a collective that hold can call someone a ‘nigger’ or exhibitions and turn ups, usual- demand that they ‘fuck you like a ly being South London based; thug’ at the tap of a finger,” said Black Femme Film, who do film Okundaye. showings and hold after parties that are safe spaces for femme But this September, the app people; and Pxssy Palace, a launched a campaign called monthly club event. ‘#KindrGrinr’ with the aim of pro- moting inclusivity, protecting the “If you’re a full-on clubber, Pxssy BAME community and stopping Palace is the place to be.” Sas racism on the app. explains, “There is something fantastic about seeing same sex In addition, the last 10 years have couples dancing to dancehall, seen lots of new events for BAME bashment and afrobeats togeth- queer people to connect and be er. It’s the meeting of the two comfortable with the people who parts of my identity – I no longer surround them. UK Black Pride feel like I have to only show part was launched in August 2006 as of myself.” ∎ an alternative to .

15 A Queer Education

16 As new advice suggests that pri- things than the physical side,” she thoughtful. mary classes should be teach- points out. “You don’t really get ing children about LGBTQ iden- taught about how relationships While considering her own ide- tities, we ask two queer women work.” as for the perfect RSE lesson, to cast their minds all the way Chloé recalls something that back to their own school days. This lack of understanding affects was helpful: “In one of the talks, all young people, regardless of they had set up a box in which This month, The Royal College of sexuality or , and people anonymously submitted Paediatricians has made a rec- indeed, the government has com- their questions beforehand,” ommendation that children should mitted to make Relationship and she recalls. “I think something be taught about LGBTQ identities Sexual Education (RSE) compul- like that helps enormously in the and terms from as early as prima- sory in all schools from 2020. In a kind of situation where ignorance ry school. This comes as Scot- 2017 statement, the Department is jumped on mercilessly.” She land becomes the first country in for Education (DfE) highlights cur- thinks teachers should try and the world to incorporate LGBTQ rent issues like underage sexting, consider what questions students issues across the school curric- and the importance of teaching actually have. ulum. So what exactly do queer “how to recognise, understand adults remember from their own and build healthy relationships.” Considering neither woman sexual education lessons? learned anything about their Emily thinks this side of RSE is sexual identities from school, “I just remember, like, wooden perhaps particularly relevant to do they at least have memories sticks, and having condoms, and queer youth: “It’s a very confusing more significant than trying to put that was about it really!” giggles time,” she says, “Because obvi- a condom on something it wasn’t Emily, 29, who is gay. ously you’re lead towards men designed to stretch over? and women together, and no one That’s the first thing Chloé, 28 tells you how to be gay.” It can be “I think the only time they showed and identifying as queer, men- isolating too: “I remember when I us actual genitals was when they tions too: “The classic condom- was growing up, I don’t really re- did a gruesome slideshow on on-a-banana trick.” member my friends talking about infected ones with STIs,” Chloé emotions,” she adds, sounding reminisces. “It scarred everyone.” Neither of them recall learning an- ything about being LGBTQ, about the terminology or the issues, in any of their school lessons. In fact, they both sound a little surprised at the suggestion. But looking back, do they think they would have benefitted from it?

“I think exploring LGBT issues would absolutely have been a good idea,” says Chloé. “Kind of clearing up common misconcep- tions and pointing out that there is a big grey area between gay and straight. It’s not either or.”

Emily agrees that it would proba- bly have helped, but is less con- cerned about matters of identity. “It’s more the emotional side of

17 18 Comedy Animal

On a cold November night, Roar with Laughter annual comedy gala brought thousands of people together for two purposes… saving wild- life and to just have a laugh on a Friday evening.

Buckets are passed through the crowd, and cash pours semi-finalist of BGT. A glamor- into them. In London’s Eventim Apollo, the Zoological ous diva who is not only hilarious Society of London (ZSL) is raising money with the help of but also has a voice so interest- Jennifer Saunders, Harriet Thorpe, and a very special drag ing that it cannot be unheard. queen. La Voix, says about her comedy, The line-up this year included Lee Ridley more known as “It’s very current, it’s very fresh, the ‘Lost Voice Guy’, the winner of Britain’s Got Talent 2018 it’s very off the coast and it’s very (BGT), Nish Kumar, Ronni Ancona, Shazia Mirza, Mo Gilli- new.” She adds, “You know, we gan, Rob Deering, La Voix and Lewis MacLeod. can all have a laugh about each Tatiana Arias, 20, a film student of London Metropolitan other and things and situations in University says, “I literally cried with laughter, my stomach the world and different scenarios hurt from all the laughing!” What was her favourite act? we find ourselves in. I think it’s Tatiana had never seen a doing live stand-up, all so easy in this day and age to so if she had to pick one performance of the night, it would get too scared about what to say be La Voix – in her beautiful blue and sparkly gown – the without upsetting someone or

offending someone. I think what my show is… it just pops that bubble and lets you be able to talk about anything and anyone… and it’s all tied with diva songs, I think it’s just a very relaxed way of doing comedy.” She was inspired from an early age, by her family. Her father would play diva performers like Barbra Streisand, and Shirley Bassey, who La Voix did an impersonation of during the event.

La Voix said she was a huge fan of ‘Lost Voice Guy’. She says it

19 was the first time she got to meet presence on social media, I think a fellow BGT contestant and that you have a duty to make sure that he was hilarious and lovely to you’re, you know, keeping aware- meet. ness of these causes.” ∎

Hosts Jennifer Saunders and Harriet Thorpe were dressed as wildcats the whole show. La Voix found it hilarious as she thought they’re just going to wear that for the opening but “they brought no other clothes so they had to stay in these faux fur costumes from beginning to the end.”

Lewis MacLeod and Ronni Anco- na performed after the interval as Donald and Melania Trump. They got booed immediately as they stepped onto the stage “Because they’re obviously dressed as Trump and Melania.” According to La Voix, that was one of the most hysterical acts throughout the night because it was so politi- cally current and “just hilarious”. La Voix has been doing events like this for years, and thinks that it is important to support “char- ities across the board.” Weeks before she did a comedy spot at the Palladium for Ten: A Decade of Dreams breast cancer fund- raiser.

“When you have any sort of voice, whether it’s from the TV, theatre or even if it’s just a strong

20 21 By Jakub Jozefowicz poor mental health however it is still hugely important for those But maybe the time has come for fortunate enough to be healthy that to change. to be aware of the issue due to the likelihood of them eventually Progress in the acceptance of interacting with someone in need our community brought with it in- and to help and encourage them terest, one manifestation of which do something about it. is the charity ‘Stonewall’ and their recent study titled the “Health And never feel like the problems Report” exposed some statistics are too minor to be taken seri- which can’t be ignored. A survey ously. The NHS recommends of 5000 LGBT Brits aged 18 - 24 reaching out if any of the follow- found that a shocking 52% had ing often apply to you: You feel suffered from depression and tired or lack energy, feel tearful, 62 from anxiety in the last year. shut yourself away from people, Furthermore in that year one in no longer want to do things you eight people had attempted to usually enjoy, use alcohol or take their own life and 46% of drugs to cope with feelings, harm trans people have thought about yourself or have thoughts about suicide, and to top it all off an self harming, have thoughts of apparent 16% said they drink taking your own life. almost every day. Finding professional help can be And what we found from private as easy as talking to your GP, but interviews seems to support fortunately there are many other these statistics. Almost everyone options available to us. appears fine on the outside but many of us have dark secrets One notable help organization is such as a reluctance to wear ‘Mind’ which has a specialised shorts for the fear of revealing the branch for the LGBT community innumerable self harm scars on full of very experienced indi- the thighs or some things even viduals and a handy hotline for more extreme like a transgen- anyone that just needs to talk to der man revealed to us that he someone who knows what they’re wants to join the army because talking about from the comfort Our he doesn’t truly value his life to of anywhere and without the things less serious but just as im- need to go out and wait in count- portant to acknowledge and tack- less queues and fill out endless Healthy le such as a difficulty to wake up stacks of paperwork. and get out of bed each morning Minds likely stemming from depression. Lastly while the services for men- And lets not forget the drinking tal health provided by the NHS An ominous illness seems to be habits we seem to uphold; we’re have been widely criticised there plaguing our community. We not saying if you drink you are are promises of improvement in pride ourselves on our un- self medicating, but make sure the works and new initiatives for matched positivity and accept- that’s the case. helping gay and bisexual men ance, yet it seems we ignore with their mental health issues our internal issues and brush Now while the numbers are high and making the services more off problems without second this of course does not mean inviting and accessible to them. ∎ thought. that we are all suffering from 22 23 stand nature, flirting with delicacy and sensuality, with the bonus that you can’t accuse her as be- ing blockhead.” Not Just a Phase? And there is so much fun in a By Aliana Stefania Ivanovici relationship between two bisexual women: “You will end up cooking Bisexuality is probably not a twice as many meals and you will taboo - not anymore. More and share a much larger wardrobe.” more people recognize this without being People might wonder – are we ashamed or uncertain of what hearing more about bisexuality to say. And many of those are today because women are now women who care about what their able to express themselves, more family and friends might think. free from traditional conservative and religious beliefs? Or was People often think that bisexuality bisexuality just undiscovered and is a temporary phase – something now it’s being scrutinized without to do with the madness of youth, fear? or a desire to be a ‘modern’ twen- ty-first century woman. Well, the surprise is that bisex- uality really has more and more Maybe people are mistaken. Or prevalence among women – and maybe the dilemma of bisexual- this is proven by research. There ity is born only of the desire of a are now three times more wom- woman to be considered a free en who recognize their bisexual spirit, and somehow a modern identity than in the past years, person who goes along with the and are also three times more latest social trends. than men. Among the usual talk over a glass of wine with Anne, 27, a customer Perhaps that is because society’s service assistant and a bisexual views women in relationships with woman, says: “It’s simply how I women so differently to men in function normally. I am attracted relationships with men. Even the by women, just as much as men, image of two women kissing is because I admire and love the widely considered to be beautiful curves of a woman, just as I ad- and sexually charged. mire a man’s virility and wisdom”. Even Katy Perry’s song ‘I Kissed She does not know for sure a Girl’ has an explanation: The whether it is a choice that comes woman is looking more and more in time with maturity, but she is to discover her own identity, her certain that: “a relationship with a own sexuality, without fear, espe- woman is intense.” cially as society no longer judges at all. And this is nothing about A relationship with a woman being in the center of attention, leads to another level of attraction showing off or behaving childish and love, because two women in order to make it look interest- can share the same vision or, as ing. This is about finding and she says: “She can fully under- discovering your inner self. And 24 there are other clever ways to do that anyway. How does she feel now? “Looking in the past, I am very Carmen, 25, an architecture stu- proud of myself, I may have dent at University College Lon- suffered but I’ve learned from don, says: “I had a few relation- this experience and soon I will ships with men, the most serious also get my architecture de- relationship lasted 4 years. After gree. My family has supported the lovely start-up period that me throughout everything and probably exists in most relation- I had the opportunity to meet ships, of course we both gave amazing people who have strengthened my beliefs but our masks down and we started also expanded my life per- to show up gradually the way we spective. I don’t believe in co- actually were as human beings - incidences, I think everything living together. Inevitably, sooner happens for a reason.” or later, no matter how good an ‘actor’ you might try to be - the It is said that bisexuality char- truth comes out.” acterizes the modern woman. Is it because they become saf- She said: “We find out that we did er, more free, unprejudiced? not fit together. I wanted to evolve Or are women no longer afraid professionally while trying to have to say what they like, what they a nice relationship with him. One love, what they want and who of my main goals was to build up they are? Are women pushing my career and this changed him the limits? a lot. Later on after we broke up, I realized he was trying to wash my Carmen said that she started brain out but fortunately he didn’t going out in different groups of manage to.” people and that was when she found out she was also attract- He used to say that I don’t ed to women: “I was happy to need evolve in my career life discover myself and if this was because I was good both meant to be my destiny and financially and professional- deeply engaging in a relation- ly. He kept discouraging me ship with a woman, well I said every time I was explaining why not, what do I have to him why I would like to study lose?” more and get into the indus- tr y.” So why not see bisexuality as totally normal? Bisexual She added, “He was abusing women are clearly affectionate me emotionally but thanks and dedicated to one another Lord I was ambitious and real- when they enter a relationship istic enough to be aware of my knowing and understanding potential and what I was capa- their orientation. ble of. You know what people say: love yourself, know your Is bisexuality just a modern worth. Confident in myself, I trend, a way for someone to finally opened my eyes and I stand out, or is it just like any figure out I was in a toxic rela- other - normal- tionship so in the end we went ity? ∎ on different ships.” 25 Advert

26 Trans, Queer and Dealing with HIV whilst being both trans and queer has of- ten placed Eli in the midst of HIV positive awkward doctor appointments. “A doctor or someone will just We speak to a young man who has lived with HIV throughout most of assume my sexuality without his life, having to tackle not only the stigma of having HIV, but having asking me, because they don’t HIV as a queer . want to make me uncomfortable,” he says. By Monique Reynolds-Blanche er groups in society with HIV, it does not mean the trans com- Being referred to as the wrong National HIV testing week is kick- munity should be left out of the gender delegitimizes someone’s ing off from the 17th of Novem- discussion. identity and can cause a lot of ber, raising awareness of HIV in stress or anxiety. This can result the UK and encouraging people Eli Fitzgerald is a 19-year-old in trans male and females not to get tested. HIV has always dis- Queer Trans HIV activist; he wanting to attend checkups con- proportionately impacted minority works to raise awareness and cerning their sexual health. communities this has continued campaign around the topic of HIV “If terminology was friendlier, into this decade. A 2017 Public within the trans community. trans and non-binary people Health England report on trends would be more open to talking in HIV diagnoses across the UK “I feel that HIV is still seen as this about sexual health and therefore showed that 27,000 Black Afri- super scary disease that only improve their wellbeing,” Eli says. cans were seen for HIV health cis-gendered gay men can get - care in 2017, along with 36,710 and this just isn’t true at all,” says Jess Bradley from the Action for White gay men, and 123 trans Fitzgerald, who grew up with HIV. Trans health committee com- people. He spends his time travelling mented at the hearing of par- around Europe, attending HIV liament’s equality committee in And although the amount of campaigning events, his most re- 2015 about the unequal treatment trans people contracting HIV is cent trip being to the Netherlands that trans people receive from significantly lower than the oth- for #AIDS2018. the NHS. “A lot of GPs deny 27 healthcare to trans people, ille- “It’s 2018. We need to change mation leaflets, we make sure gally, based on the fact that they our approach to how we teach the language in the leaflet is right don’t agree with the choices that about HIV, we need to change and has trans-friendly terminolo- they’ve made,” said Bradley. what we say and we need the gy.” educators to actually understand the facts and the truth about HIV The Terrence Higgins Trust is Eli routinely shares his different and how it can affect anyone,” he a British charity that works year experiences as a queer trans says. round to raise awareness for HIV. man on his twitter page ‘@pos- Each year the charity produces a itive_aaron’, keeping it real and “Whilst I understand that HIV can campaign in aid of National HIV sharing all of the issues he has to be a ‘difficult’ topic to talk about testing week. face on a day-to-day basis. that doesn’t mean that we should be avoiding talking about it,” says Sparrowhawk explained how this He has shared a story from 2017, Eli. “HIV positive trans people year’s campaign featured a wide when he was admitted to hospital do exist and we are here and we range of people. “Twenty-seven after he stopped taking his HIV deserve to be listened to and different models were used in the medication. Instead of doctors treated just like anyone else living campaign this year from all dif- enquiring about Eli’s mental with HIV.” ferent communities, this included health, doing a full assessment both trans men and women. We on him and finding out why he Alex Sparrowhawk from the had to make sure that the cam- stopped taking his medication, Terrence Higgins Trust, agrees paign related to people that it is they assumed that the issue had that there is a need to represent going to affect.” to be the fact that he was trans all types of people when talking and HIV positive. about HIV. Eli agrees. “I think personally a “It got to the point where no mat- lot of the negative experiences ter how loud I shouted or howev- “We make sure we are being of being a queer trans man living er many medical words I used, inclusive, focusing on all of the with HIV is having to often justify they didn’t believe or understand LGBTQ community, promoting who I am, having to retell my life that these ‘problems’ was not good sexual health along with story to just kind of get health- what was wrong with me,” he HIV,” he says. care professionals to just slightly tweeted. understand the situation.” ∎ “If we update our patient infor-

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29 What’s the Deal with Biphobia? If the internet is to be believed, #20biteen is going to be the year of the bisexual, and some would say it’s about time. In anticipation of the approaching New Year, we speak to three different people about what it’s really like to be out there and bi.

30 #20gayteen is on its way out, So what’s the truth about bipho- by bisexuality.” and it’s been an amazing year for bia? Is it disappearing, or just LGBTQ representation. And with changing? Lyra, 31, is a bisexual trans shows like The Bi Life from E!, woman, who navigates the world and celebrities like Tessa Thomp- “When I do broach the subject of with intersecting LGBTQ identi- son and Janelle Monáe publicly my bisexuality with more heter- ties. “I identify as queer most of as being attracted to onormative gay folks, I find the the time,” she explains. “This is both men and women, it might main response I get is incredulity because ‘queer’ represents a lot seem like bisexuality – that and disbelief that I’m really bi.” more aspects of my identity than most misunderstood of sexual Amy, 38, has been out as bisex- just my sexuality.” She adds: “In identities – is finally entering the ual and polyamorous since 2013. ‘straight’ circles, I use the bisex- mainstream. But is that really the “Coming out has been a gradual ual label because I think bi rep- case? process,” she says. “I still don’t resentation is super important.” mention my sexuality at work Bisexual people have long faced unless someone actually brings One of the biggest issues faced casual prejudice in both the up the subject of relationships. In by the is straight and LGBTQ communities, which case, I will be open about judgment from monosexuals – and it is an issue we have only it.” people who identify as hetero recently begun to face up to. The or homosexual – when dating. Independent Community Advisory Amy came out after the end of a The pervasive myth that bisexual Board for Pride in London stated monogamous marriage to a man. people are more likely to cheat in their 2017 report that, “Bi peo- She feels that her immersion in ‘because they have more options’ ple, despite forming the largest the polyamorous community has has lingered as a quieter, more component of the LGBT popula- come with more acceptance: insidious form of prejudice. tion, remain marginalised within “Within the LGBT world, I have that community and in society at experienced only a little biphobia, Lyra has also found other prob- large.” but I think that is because I mainly lems when dating: “As a trans mix with other bi and queer and woman who is proudly fat and In fact, it was only this year that polyamorous people who are proudly gender non-conforming, Pride in London had its first ever much more open to alternative I find a lot of preconceptions are Bi Pride float. lifestyles and are less threatened made about my bisexuality,” she 31 says. “A lot of the time I only date “I’ve felt that attitudes towards gender and then another has not other queer and bisexual people bi men are slightly different,” he ‘gone straight’ or ‘gone gay’ but because I know that, with them, adds. “I’ve often heard people is expressing fundamental part of I will not have my gender ques- say that they’re gay but in deni- their bi identity,” says Lyra. Amy tioned as a result of my sexuality, al.” has very similar feelings: “Charac- something I can’t be sure of with ters in TV shows are often con- monosexual people.” Amy echoes this: “From conver- sidered straight until they have a sations I’ve had with male bisex- same sex relationship, at which Her hopes for future changes ual friends, they have encoun- point they are gay,” she points in perception also capture the tered far more biphobia from gay out. dangers faced by trans people men, who often refuse to date around the world. “I would like to them, than I have with lesbians.” David, however, thinks that things feel that I do not need to fear for And it’s often no better trying to are getting better: “I’m actually

my life when dating monosexual date straight people: “Straight cis quite pleased with more recent people due to the bi or gay panic men have a tendency to fetishise representation of bisexuality as they feel dating a trans person.” bisexuality in women whereas a normal thing,” he says, before they are often disgusted by bisex- adding, “I think this is very recent Bisexual men also face their own uality in men,” Amy explains. in my opinion, and I never felt bi- unique set of challenges and sexuality was portrayed very well . David, 30, has been How would Amy, Lyra, and David before.” He would also like to see out as bisexual for two years. He like to see things change in the bisexuality recognised as a more describes the difficulties of that future? ‘legitimate’ sexuality in society. coming out process: “I knew I wasn’t gay, but definitely wasn’t Accurate media representation is LGBTQ representation has straight either, and bisexuality a big issue: “I’d like wider ac- improved enormously in recent was less prominent in my early knowledgement in the media that times, but if 2019 really is going life.” bi people exist and that a per- to be ‘the year of the bisexual’, son who dates someone of one there’s still a lot of work to do. 32 33 34 Advert

35 STRESS How it affects your health... and sex life Stress is a huge problem in everybody’s life. It can hit at work, in your private life, and in your relationships. But what can you do about it?

“Orgasm is the key to freeing up by worries, the intimate area cannot stress. Whatever happens with your enjoy pleasures at maximum capac- partner when using sex toys, the act ity. Ironically, the best solution to itself will give you an extraordinary overcome this deadlock is precisely psychic feeling”, says Joanna Ha- the action. lus, 27, a freelance Psychotherapist How to beat stress: who graduated from Metropolitan Can a stressed person have a suc- University, London. cessful career or a happy quality sex life? “If a stressed person chooses “Stress appears when the per- to have around emotional guards, son does not find himself in real well-trained people in various fields, -Eight hours of sleep life. When someone else does he can develop by being supported, everything for themselves, they a successful career.” -Healthy food and don’t think that they’ll ever manage lifestyle to do something for themselves. Psychotherapy can help a lot. To- gether with the Psychotherapist, the -Sexual relationships, After marriage, both men and person learns what’s going wrong at least once every two women realize that there is no one and how to put it right. days around to help them. The more they are protected from the rhythm and Stress can also decline significantly -Exclusion of brain the responsibilities of life, the harder with sex. Generally, it’s just that the excitations and the it will be to get used to”, says Halus. sex partner needs to have a lot of intake of vitamins and patience. Obviously, the first at- minerals, especially The effects of stress are diverse - tempts at sexual intercourse may be magnesium headaches, dizziness and vomiting, a total failure. But with patience and -Getting pampered - hair and teeth fall, lack of erection, understanding, the stressed person Massage at least 1 per lack of orgasm. can get on the right track. week and anti-stress But what – exactly – is stress? “The Here are two examples: The man tea. misunderstanding of the responsi- who cannot get the erection and the bilities to be respected causes a woman who cannot reach orgasm. special tension in the body,” says In both cases, the lack of relaxation Halus. “When you do not under- is the culprit. And in both cases, stand what you have to do or when, the Psychotherapist is the missing for personal reasons, you do not piece in the emotional puzzle of the respect anything you have to do, subject.” says Joanna. the inner conflict appears.”

One of Halus’ patients, Cara, 23, a studio manager in Shoreditch, con- fessed: “I say I do not understand a task, instead of realizing and doing it.”

Then why is this happening? “From comfort and carelessness”, says psychotherapist Joanna.

When looking from another perspec- tive - when your mind is “invaded” 36 Be you.

Be proud.

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