Le Lumero Honi Soit Qui M Aly Pense
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eN .,ir,,- 2 6 .. n.s Noveitre 1950 -5 ve br LvNu re2-retsN WIX Le lumero de la 3 .1. - ci ) C- K Q. &( c aopre iM.H Honi soit qui m aly pense - SO -- -'--mIo -6; THE FIRST VOO DOO So Howie Schwartzman called me up the other day and said, "John, you used to work on Voo Doo, write us an editorial about the old days," and I said, "sure, Volume XXXIV November, 1950 No. 6 Howie, there's nothing I'd like better to do." For those were the days, you know, the good old days, right after the great war, if I remember right - way VOO DOO back in '45-48. M. I. T. HUMOR MONTHLY ESTABLISHED In those days things were different. Winters were 1919 Winters then, none of this slushy stuff we have now. SENIOR BOARD I remember one time the Charles River froze up so damn tight that if it hadn't been for the sixty feet HOWIE SCHWARTZMAN General Manager of snow on top of it, the State of Massachusetts sure RIP TODD Managing Editor could have announced it as a new super highway. DAVE FINDLAY Business Editor BOB SCHWANHAUSSER Yes sir, in the good old days Tech was Tech where Associate Editor Men were MEN. None of this sissy humanities stuff JUNIOR BOARD they hand you now. You can't eat it; you can't drink it; you can't sleep with it; what good is it? None of CHUCK WHITNEY Literary Editor these easy schedules either. Classes straight through RANDY PAULLING Art Editor nine to five. For lunch a man had vitamin pills with MAURY DAVIDSON Features Editor BILL DUNN Publicity benzedrine chaser. Each classroom had two lecturers Manager ALLAN HOFFMAN Make-up Editor talking on different subjects at the same time. A man JOE VAN HORN Joke Editor who couldn't write with both hands couldn't last a BILL CHANDLER Advertising Manager week. NICK BADAMI Oh, I don't want you to get the wrong impression, GENE KOCH Co-Sales Managers we had fun too, all right. No doubt about it, Fun ROBERT L. HARDY Treasurer was Fun - Phos knows that. We used to play tricks JERRY HATHAWAY Office Manager on our favorite professors. I remember one prof who STAFF ASSOCIATES was particularly good-natured. One day as a joke, we pulled out his fingernails. What a laugh! Then JOKES ART Jack King John Medal Jack Freidenthal Dave Lissner there was the freshman we ground up and had served Larry Lewin Manny Rotenberg Fred Cohen in Walker for hamburger. Imagine the look on every- Stan Silverman Bob Hayfield Leonard Gross John Luger Charles E. Lenz John Annese body's face when we told them what they'd eaten! Jack Halsell Dick Locarni Charles Mather Those were the days. Ernie Sanlovenzo Charles B. Kurz Sheldon Herskovitz Jack Winfrey Lee Karney John Roof Ah, yes, memories, memories. Things aren't what Len Schwartzman Horatio de Garcia MAKE-UP they used to be, the younger generation is going soft. LITERARY OFFICE Bill Moffatt Parties were Parties back then. A man always brought Dick de Neerguard Stan Benjamin Bill Rice Bill Schlesinger at least two dates to a party because it was a sure Miguil Rivas Jr. FEATURES Bob Garvin Joseph lannicelli thing one of them would pass out before ten-thirty. Carl Schiff man SALES James Eyer Drinking was for Harvard dilettantes, the he-men at Dave Kessel John Meader Howie Briscoe Dimitre Tatistcheff Tech took morphine with a needle, Sherlock Holmes Tol Twitchell E. S. Carlson Phil Hallof Bill Whittington Frank Cruickshank George Stevens style. We used to scare the girls by turning a few TREASURY Manuel Liverman rattlesnakes loose on the dance floor when the lights Bill Wollenberg John Medgyesy George Bromfield Paul Shannon John Clegg were out. For chaperons we always got somebody from Marty Greenfield Dick Ahrons ADVERTISING John Crowe the deaf, dumb, and blind institute. Oscar Kaalstad PUBLICITY Joseph Cahn Yep, I'm an old timer now like Phos, and remember Charles Abbott Jack Taub Bob Chapman how things ought to be. I won't moralize, though Robert King Tom Moore J. M. Knight it does seem to me that in the old days Morals were' OFFICE CAT: PHOSPHORUS Morals - and nothing more; and I do want to say that times haven't changed completely. Stuff like Copyright, 1950, by the VOO DOO Senior Board. Published by the Senior Board for the Students of this in print is proof that Bull is still Bull. the Massachusetts Institute of Technology J. D. C. L. Office: 303 Walker Memorial, Cambridge 39, Mass. Office hours: 4:30 to 5:30 P.M., Monday through Friday Published monthly from October to May. Twenty-five cents a copy. Subscription: $2.00 for Eight Issues. 53.00 in Pago Pago. thanks to Chick Kane, Director of the Alumni Our Entered as second class matter at the Post Office at Cambridge, Mass. Fund, for his- many helpful ideas and for the cover, which he drew back in '24. It was banned for being too suggestive. Have times changed? Congratulations to Maury Davidson and Joe Van Horn on their election to the Junior Board. I Harding, nor the Honorable James Curley. Making the local constabu- lary the butt of its jokes. Cutting the Fire Department's hoses. Bah!" The cat stroked his belly with partially extended claws, against the lie of his fur. There were cats, too, cats with great thermal ca- pacity for the Winter, and with a good strong under-fur odor for the Spring term. Phos permitted himself a tiny smile, until his thoughts returned to that dread- WH R Icame ful Activities Ball with the tailless in, and its all a little disheartening. Manx kitty, and the smile was "The shades of yesteryear, "said replaced by his usual expression Phosphorus, "haunt me. You un- of gall and wormwood. derstand why 1 am occasionally "My heroes," and he made as somewhat bitter." He drained his if to spit. "Every year you know can of beer and reached for an- it all, and then you come here and College." A knife sang past the other. "You miserable pack of acquire a sense of humility and cat's head and parted his mustache. dirty-minded, yelping puppies," he leave the place ruined. No mo-re "Some of you learn. I suppose added quietly. confidence. Bums. Milquetoasts. it can't be helped. Things may "A long time," he said. "Lo and No moral fibre. Nothing remains have progressed from Mercer Run- woe, a long, long time it has been. except trained pulp. After four abouts to Willy's Jeepsters, from And yet, looking about me - with years you retch when you touch Raccoon coats to duffel coats, from some revulsion, peons - I wonder lemonade, and your sluts find gin to gin, from garter to girdle. what deep changes there have been, sweeter pasture at Calvin Coolidge The broads have changed their if any. I remember my first days appearance a little from time to here, green and callow, full of time, but never in essentials. Plus ca myself and the search for life, love, change, plus c'est la meme chose!" and a modicum of classroom wis- Phos extended his rough tongue in dom. Pah!" The scarred and the French manner, and savored grizzled cat wiped his mouth with his lips. the back of his paw, and carmin- "Whoever threw that knife," ated. he said," I congratulate you. I "At least presidents come and believe that you at least belong to go," he grunted," William Barton that gentle brotherhood which has Rogers of the splendid beard, Karl learned to bear its liquor like T., who came to the Institute for gentlemen and its children like world travel, education, and a ladies. As a matter of fact, friends, career, and Jimmy, who wanted you're not quite as black as I paint to have his picture on the wall of you. Some of you are pretty bright, Course XV corridors." I. % and get to be major generals and Phosphorus thought back to the millionaires and the like." The air hammers with which the new 0: door flew open and the general presidential garage had been erect- manager dropped in, heavily, a ed, and fixed the world with a glassy stare in his eye, and in bloodshot eye. O0 fn his hand a torn brassiere. "Tech men are always the same. "I tear her battered ensign The student endureth. Wise guys. down!" he shrieked. Razz McKinley. Taft. Teddy Cco "That," said Phos, "sounds like Roosevelt. Roosevelt. Truman. the place Nothing sacred. Neither Warren RVG/RVWT after glass the new beer that's both light gan dry The F. & M. Schaefer Bamwing Co., New York OUR H A N D HAS N E V EER LOST ITS S K I L L 1, A 4115 v 49 VOS - BOOINGS .. Phos presents on these pages a taking pity on the poor girl's plight we attended one of the double selection of VOOdoings dating all releases her, while the lovers are feature programs which are a the way back to those days when a asleep, from her spell and awakens weekly event at Keith's Memorial. Republican smiled in public, and her. She, reclining on the moss, You know how it is-you see last there was a turkey in every pot and recounts her dream, the conver- week's show and then next week's, two quarts in every baby carriage. sation being as follows: and walk out feeling exhausted.