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Single-At-Midlife Women and Their Accounts of Their Sexual Lives

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Single-At-Midlife Women and Their Accounts of Their Sexual Lives University of Calgary PRISM: University of Calgary's Digital Repository Graduate Studies The Vault: Electronic Theses and Dissertations 2016 Single-at-midlife Women and Their Accounts of Their Sexual Lives Moore, Jennifer Andrea Moore, J. A. (2016). Single-at-midlife Women and Their Accounts of Their Sexual Lives (Unpublished doctoral thesis). University of Calgary, Calgary, AB. doi:10.11575/PRISM/27792 http://hdl.handle.net/11023/2948 doctoral thesis University of Calgary graduate students retain copyright ownership and moral rights for their thesis. You may use this material in any way that is permitted by the Copyright Act or through licensing that has been assigned to the document. For uses that are not allowable under copyright legislation or licensing, you are required to seek permission. Downloaded from PRISM: https://prism.ucalgary.ca UNIVERSITY OF CALGARY Single-at-midlife Women and Their Accounts of Their Sexual Lives by Jennifer Andrea Moore A THESIS SUBMITTED TO THE FACULTY OF GRADUATE STUDIES IN PARTIAL FULFILLMENT OF THE REQUIREMENTS FOR THE DEGREE OF DOCTOR OF PHILOSOPHY GRADUATE PROGRAM IN PSYCHOLOGY CALGARY, ALBERTA APRIL, 2016 © Jennifer Andrea Moore 2016 Abstract Despite the burgeoning research interest in single women’s lives, few studies have examined the sexual lives of midlife women who are without a committed sexual partner. What is little understood then is how midlife women who are single understand their sexuality and their sexual relationships. Adopting a social constructionist framework and a discourse analytic perspective, this study explored the accounts of 21 women who identified as “women alone,” were in “early midlife” (aged 35-50 years), and lived in cities and towns across Canada. The women were interviewed using a semi-structured format, either in person, by phone, or by Skype, and the interviews were audio-recorded and transcribed. The analysis examined the varied and contradictory discourses of heterosexuality that the participants used to account for their sexual practices and position themselves as sexual subjects. Study results suggest that cultural changes of recent decades have entailed shifts in the discursive environment beyond the cultural resources identified by Wendy Hollway in the 1980s, i.e., “male sexual drive,” “have and hold,” and “permissive sex” discourses. Women understood their sexuality in terms of a “compulsory sexuality” that is produced by the permissive sex and “sexological” discourses and constructs sex as integral to women’s lives. For single women, this means remaining sexually attractive and youthful according to the standards of the day, a subject position that is at odds with their positioning as “maturing” women. Being positioned as “celibate” or “sexually inactive” was a “troubled” identity, and the participants navigated this tension by drawing on two “emerging” discourses, “caring sex” (i.e., “good” and “fulfilling”’ sex that includes feelings and practices of care, respect, and reciprocity) and “New Age spirituality” (i.e., compatibility, intimacy, and soul mates). Together, these discourses provided a discursive space for women to account for their sexual subjectivity outside of committed romantic relationships in a way that allowed them to be both “sexual” and “moral women.” Women’s single and midlife sexual subjectivity is discussed in the context of contemporary “postfeminist discourses” that construct female sexuality as active and empowered. ii Acknowledgements I would like to express my heartfelt gratitude to my academic advisor, Dr. Lorrie Radtke, not only for her research expertise and analytic genius, but also for her unfailing kindness, understanding, and encouragement throughout my academic training. Lorrie, you are an exemplary researcher, instructor, and mentor, and as far as I am concerned you have no equal. I also owe a considerable debt to Dr. Hank Stam who has been a caring and enthusiastic supporter over the years. The pair of you have been wonderful. Thank you! Also my thanks go to my committee members who have helped guide this project to completion, Dr. Liza McCoy, Dr. Barbara Schneider, and Dr. Maria Gurevich. Your feedback, thoughtful suggestions, and reassurances were much appreciated. I gratefully acknowledge all the amazing women who participated in the interviews and who generously shared their adventures in dating, love, and sex. The stories they shared were at times heartwarming, heartbreaking, and inspiring. I appreciate that they trusted me enough to share the truth, even when it wasn’t “pretty.” I will ensure that their insights will be used to inspire and educate other single and midlife women. I would like to thank all my gorgeous colleagues and friends from graduate school who supported and loved me when my energies were failing, and who pointed the way forward when I was at risk of losing my way: Basia Ellis, Brianne Collins, Michaela Zverina, Dane Burns, Brenda Nguyen, and Angela Grace. Most importantly, I give big love and appreciation to my mother, Sally Dorothy Moore, who has been a patient, kind, and loving presence from beginning to end. I never would have dreamed of embarking on this expedition without your encouragement and I share the PhD with you. iii Table of Contents Abstract ................................................................................................................................ ii Acknowledgements ........................................................................................................... iii Table of Contents ................................................................................................................ iv List of Tables ..................................................................................................................... vii CHAPTER 1: INTRODUCTION ........................................................................................ 1 1.1 Introduction ............................................................................................................. 1 1.2 Situating My Research ............................................................................................. 2 1.2.1 Women's Sexuality at Midlife ..................................................................... 2 1.2.2 Single-at-midlife Women and Sexuality ..................................................... 5 1.3 Theoretical and Analytic Approach ......................................................................... 9 1.3.1 Social Constructionism ................................................................................ 9 1.3.2 Discourse Analysis .................................................................................... 13 1.3.3 Neoliberalism ............................................................................................. 16 1.4 Methodological Considerations ............................................................................. 18 1.5 Reflexivity ............................................................................................................. 19 1.6 Chapter Overview .................................................................................................. 21 CHAPTER 2: WOMEN’S SINGLENESS AND SEXUALITY ....................................... 23 2.1 Introduction ........................................................................................................... 23 2.2 Discursive Constructions of Women's Singleness ................................................ 23 2.2.1 Sexuality of Single Women ....................................................................... 26 2.3 Young Women's (Hetero)sexual Relationships ..................................................... 27 2.3.1 Missing Discourse of Desire ...................................................................... 27 2.3.2 Young Women Negotiating Discourses of (Hetero)sex ............................ 30 2.4 Women as "New" Sexual Subjects ........................................................................ 35 2.5 Study Rationale ...................................................................................................... 39 CHAPTER 3: METHOD ................................................................................................... 41 3.1 Participants ............................................................................................................ 41 iv 3.2 Procedure ............................................................................................................... 43 3.3. Data Analysis ........................................................................................................ 45 3.4 Ensuring Quality .................................................................................................... 46 CHAPTER 4: DISCOURSES OF SEX AND SEXUALITY ............................................ 51 4.1 Hollway's Discourses of Sex ................................................................................. 51 4.1.1 Summary .................................................................................................... 57 4.2 Sexological Discourse ........................................................................................... 57 4.3 "Caring Sex" Discourse ......................................................................................... 61 4.4 "New Age Spirituality" Discourse ......................................................................... 64 4.5 Holding Men Accountable for "Good Sex" ..........................................................
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