MOST READ MOST TRUSTED SEPTEMBER 2015

A ROYAL RECORD PAGE 56

HOW TO GREEK BOOST FERRY LEARNING DISASTER PAGE 70 PAGE 78

TIPS FOR A HEALTHY BEDROOM PAGE 102

WORRY: IT’S GOOD FOR YOU! PAGE 27

WHEN TO BUY ORGANIC PAGE 40

BE NICE TO YOUR KNEES ...... 30 MIND-BENDING PUZZLES ...... 129 LAUGHTER, THE BEST MEDICINE ...... 68 ALL THE CRITICS SAY “YEAH!” THE REVIEWS ARE IN... “ SPECTACULAR CELEBRATION!” Richard Ouzounian, Toronto Star “FABULOUS, FUNNY “ONE OF THE BEST & FANTASTIC! MUSICALS I’VE EVER SEEN. DON’T MISS THIS ONE!” sKINKY crazy BOOTSgood.” i Jennifer Valentyne, Breakfast Television Steve Paikin, TVO

AEW N MUSICAL BASED ON A TRUE STORY “A FEEL GOOD SHOW. YOU LEAVE THE THEATRE WITH A BIG SMILE ON YOUR FACE Photos by Cylla Von Tiedemann and a bounce in your high-heeled step!” Carolyn MacKenzie, Global TV NOWN STAGE O ROYAL ALEXANDRA THEATRE 260 KING STREET WEST, TORONTO 1-800-461-3333 MIRVISH.COM ALANINGO JR.M AJ BRIDEL & GRAHAM SCOTT FLEMING Contents SEPTEMBER 2015

Cover Story 56 Mighty Monarch On September 9, Queen Elizabeth II becomes the longest-reigning ruler in British history. A Canadian look back. STÉPHANIE VERGE

Society 62 Cash-Strapped Payday loans are a lifeline for low-income Canadians—but at what cost? CHRISTOPHER POLLON FROM THE WALRUS

Science 70 Know Better New ways to improve your ability to learn. DANIELLE GROEN AND KATIE UNDERWOOD

Drama in Real Life 78 Ship Down P. A Greek family fight to survive when their ferry | 70 goes up in flames. KATHERINE LAIDLAW

Humour 86 The Endless Steps David Sedaris on becoming obsessed with Fitbit. FROM THE NEW YORKER

Perspective 94 Race Under Fire Police have interrogated Desmond Cole more than 50 times—all because of the colour of his skin. FROM TORONTO LIFE

Health 102 More Than a Place to Sleep Seven tips for a healthy bedroom. JACQUELYN PHOTOGRAPHY MITCHARD WITH ADDITIONAL REPORTING BY BY LICHFIELD ARCHIVE /

SAM ISLAND DANIEL VIOLA FROM AARP THE MAGAZINE GETTY IMAGES

ADDITIONAL MEDIA IN OUR TABLET VERSIONS rd.ca | 09 • 2015 | 1 Vol. 187 | No. 1,121 SEPTEMBER 2015

RD Classic 1 0 6 The Effie Economy During the Great Depression, one woman’s generosity paid dividends. HENRY MORTON ROBINSON FROM 1947

Editors’ Choice 112 Artificial Intelligence How the creation of imitation vanilla forever changed how we eat. MARK SCHATZKER FROM THE DORITO EFFECT

4 Editor’s Letter 7 Contributors P. | 8 Letters 112

READER FAVOURITES VOICES & VIEWS

10 Finish This Sentence 12 A Fresh Start 16 As Kids See It DIY detergent creator Melissa 24 Points to Ponder Power wants everyone to have 68 Laughter, the Best Medicine access to clean clothes. 92 @ Work SARAH LISS 110 Life’s Like That The RD Interview 127 That’s Outrageous! 18 Father Figure 129 Brainteasers Consummate showman Alan LAFOND 131 Trivia Quiz Thicke on family values, reality 132 Sudoku TV and why America can’t get 133 Word Power enough of Canadians.

136 Quotes SARAH LISS DOMINIQUE

2 | 09 • 2015 | rd.ca JASON GORDON 20 P. y Love Letter to Letter Boots y Love | M BELIEVE IT’S NOTIT’S BETTER BELIEVE MONICA A cat fanciercomesclean. Department 12

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| 3 Editor’s Letter

Steps to a Nimble Mind WHEN MY SONS WERE IN HIGH SCHOOL, they would sometimes complain about the amount of homework they were given. I’d reply that I had likely forgotten more facts in my lifetime than they had yet to learn in theirs. They didn’t appreciate my lack of sympathy, but they got the point: keep at it, because there is a lot to learn. Today, when friends ask if I have thought about what I will do come retirement, I say I hope to travel and take Spanish and Italian classes. What I don’t mention is that I would also like to learn about woodworking, electronics, mechanics, zoology—the list goes on and on. Researchers say it becomes harder to pick up new things as we age, that our brains lose some of their plasticity, their ability to retain new information and re- trieve it when needed. I’m fine with being slower when the time comes, but I am determined to maintain an active interest in the world around me for as long as possible. Until then, I will follow the advice laid out by Danielle Groen and Katie Under- wood in “Know Better” (page 70), a piece about the latest research on preserving and improving our abil- ity to learn as the years advance. Here’s to keeping our minds in shape.

Send an email to [email protected] ROGER AZIZ

Published by the Reader’s Digest Magazines Canada Limited, Montreal, Canada Christopher Dornan Chairman of the Board Robert Goyette Editor-in-Chief

Executive Editor Dominique Ritter Art Director Annelise Dekker Deputy Editor Stéphanie Verge Senior Editor Sarah Liss Assistant Art Director Danielle Sayer Assistant Editor Megan Jones Contributing Editor Samantha Rideout Photo Director Patrice Larose Proofreader Line Abrahamian Researchers Erica Rae Chong, Graphic Designer Pierre Loranger Alyssa Favreau, Rudy Lee, Leslie Sponder, Daniel Viola Project Manager Lisa Pigeon Copy Editors Chad Fraser, Amy Harkness Associate Editor, Digital Marci O’Connor Production Manager Lisa Snow Rights/Excerpts Coordinator Pierre Charlebois Publisher Karin Rossi

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6 | 09 • 2015 | rd.ca Contributors

ANDRE MAYER JENNY BONAR (Writer, “What, Me (Illustrator, “The Effie Worry?” page 27) Economy,” page 106)

Home base: Home base: Toronto. Previously Calgary. Previously published in The Globe and Mail published in Uppercase and and cbcnews.ca. Worrying can be Applied Arts. In my work, I aim beneficial. As a writer, I’m working for warmth with textures and colour. to a deadline on a constant basis. I always use traditional painting My anxiety about finishing on time methods to help convey that home- keeps me sharp. I am not an inces- style look. This story reminded sant worrier, but the most ridiculous me of why our relationships within thing that preoccupies me is that our communities are so important. people will notice when my shoes I think we are more fulfilled don’t match my belt. together than we are on our own.

ERICA LENTI JASON GORDON (Writer, “13 Things (Photographer, “A You Should Know Fresh Start,” page 12) About Confidence,” page 125) Home base: Toronto. Previously Home base: Toronto. Previously published in Forbes Magazine and published in Maisonneuve and The New York Times. On set I like This. I have a tendency to second- to fool around. Having your photo guess myself. Working on this piece taken can be awkward, so you might has opened my eyes to some ways I as well have a good time! My dream can change that. To boost the con- subject is actor Patrick Stewart. fidence I do have, I surround my- His work on ending violence against self with encouraging loved ones. women has helped many—and When they are busy, dancing in my maybe I can get a photo of him underwear also helps. holding a phaser, one last time.

rd.ca | 09 • 2015 | 7 Letters READERS COMMENT ON OUR RECENT ISSUES

THANK YOU FOR BEING A FRIEND Recently, I celebrated my 100th birthday with a wonderful gathering of friends, neighbours and four generations of family. A few days prior, the latest issue of Read- er’s Digest had arrived in the mail. I got to thinking about the many years I have been a subscriber and about the hundreds of issues I have enjoyed over that time. The first Canadian I signed up with Reader’s Digest when issue, February 1948. the English edition first came to Canada in February of 1948. There was a big promotion: a lifetime subscription for $35. In those days, $35 was a lot of money. When I mentioned to a co-worker I had decided to go for it, he told me I wouldn’t get my money’s worth. Well, I guess I fooled him—and likely the Reader’s Digest people, too—by living to be 100 (and counting)! I have received a copy of the magazine every month for more than 67 years. It was the best $35 I ever spent! Reader’s Digest has gone everywhere with me—around the house, to the cottage, in the car on long drives. When I’ve finished with each issue, I pass it along to a local nurs- ing home or hospital. I have glaucoma now, but with the aid of magnifying glasses, I try my best to make my way through the maga- zine. I would dearly miss my faithful old friend if it didn’t arrive in the mail every month. VERA COX, Brampton, Ont.

8 | 09 • 2015 | rd.ca down flights of stairs, onto concrete. There was absolutely no shock ab­ sorption upon landing—just small, solid wheels on pavement. It doesn't take a rocket scientist to see that this can be harmful to young bodies. PATRICIA HAMILTON, Vancouver

TO THE LETTER Since Robert Goyette became the editor of Reader’s Digest, the Editor’s EQUAL TREATMENT Letter has been the page I look for­ Thank you for the article “Barbies or ward to the most. I always enjoy the Cake” (May 2015). What the writer variety of subjects he chooses and tries to teach her daughter is very the way he writes about them with true. I wish everyone would realize candour and intensity. that the colour of a person’s skin A year ago, I relocated from Mont­ doesn’t matter. We are all human real to Victoria. While many things and deserve respect! have changed, one thing remains DEE MILLER, Cambridge, Ont. a constant—I still receive Reader’s Digest every month! PARENTAL CONCERN “Sweet Summer Memories” in I love Reader’s Digest, but your re­ the July 2015 issue was particularly cent article “Wheels of Fortune” touching, and I thank you for bring­ (July 2015) disturbed me. I believe ing back my own memories from skateboarding to be a dangerous long ago. I hope Mr. Goyette sport that can leave some of its par­ remains editor for many years. ticipants injured and in chronic CELINE LEVAQUE, Victoria pain. I used to shudder every time I watched my son and his friends Published letters are edited for length jumping off of high railings and and clarity.

We want to hear from you! Have something to say about an article you read in Reader’s Digest? Send your letters to [email protected]. Please include your full name and address. Contribute Send us your funny jokes and anecdotes, and if we publish one in a print edition of Reader’s Digest, we’ll send you a free one-year subscription. To submit, visit rd.ca/joke. Original contributions (text and photos) become the property of The Reader’s Digest Magazines Canada Limited, and its affiliates, upon publication. Submissions may be edited for length and clarity, and may be

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rd.ca | 09 • 2015 | 9 FINISH THIS SENTENCE

The title of my auto- biography would be…

…What the …Gullible’s Hell Was Travels. I Thinking? TAMARA SANDIN, WHITE ROCK, B.C. SHERYL BULLARD BOOTS, AMHERSTBURG, ONT.

…Fathers Can: Single …Damaged Dad of Six Goods. WENDY MAC ALONEY Survival BRUENS, TRURO, N.S. Guide. ANDREW SWIFT, PETERBOROUGH, ONT.

…Don’t Be So Nice. …Why Hairdressers Swear NICOLE SEGUIN-ANDREIJEFF, in the Staff Room. CALGARY BRENDA DEDRICK, LADYSMITH, B.C.

Visit the Reader’s Digest Canada Facebook page for your chance to finish the next sentence.

10 | 09 • 2015 | rd.ca BLIMEY

WEEKNIGHTS 7:30 VOICES & VIEWS

DIY detergent creator Melissa Power wants everyone to have access to clean clothes A Fresh Start BY SARAH LISS

PHOTOGRAPHY BY JASON GORDON

!!AS A SINGLE PARENT raising clothes were a “luxury” her family a young boy in London, Ont., in was forced to forgo. the late 1990s, Melissa Power tried “Laundry was something that to ensure her son, Brett, never shouldn’t wait, but it did,” she says lacked for anything. Then in her now. “I have never, ever forgotten early 20s, Power was fortunate that feeling of humility.” enough to always have a job—at More than a decade later, Power, one point she managed a McDon- 39, is happily married to Scott ald’s franchise; at another she Boughner, a youth mentor. In addi- worked at a pharmacy. But even tion to 19-year-old Brett, their with a full-time salary, there often brood includes six-year-old Char- wasn’t enough to cover food, rent lotte and two-year-old Hunter. And and bills. Certain basics had to be although she’s in a secure two- put on hold to pay for other costs— income household, Power says, one of Brett’s soccer tournaments, “I still have the single-mom mind- for instance—and at times, clean set: where can I cut costs?” ➸

12 | 09 • 2015 | rd.ca Giving back is a family affair for Melissa Power, whose six-year-old helps grate soap for her DIY laundry suds. ReadeR’s digest

That lingering frugality prompted a vital resource. Rose,* a 60-some- Power to begin making all-natural thing regular, has struggled with job- laundry detergent (out of borax, lessness; she finds employers are washing soda, baking soda and often hesitant to hire older workers. grated soap), and reminders of her Having access to proper laundry past inspired her to use the DIY facilities, regardless of her economic product to help others. She started circumstances, has been a boon— small: in the summer of 2014, she especially when she’s job-hunting. came up with the idea of holding “It was quite humbling to attend a free event at a local laundromat, my first laundry event,” Rose says. where people in the community Being unable to properly wash your could drop by and do a few loads clothes, she explains, can be morti- using her homemade suds. After fying. “I always feel ashamed and she posted the plan on Facebook, gross, and people look at me like I’m a friend connected her with Vince nothing. But when I get to do my Clayton, the owner of PJ’s in down- laundry, I feel like a million dollars.” town London. He agreed to host the The events have been equally day—and waive his fee. transformative for Power, who’s par- That August, Power launched the layed her sideline into a full-scale first For the Love of Laundry. “I had social enterprise. In April, she left no idea what I was doing,” she says. her job in a vet clinic to focus on “I made up posters on my computer running the business. She now sells and handed them out to Children’s For the Love of Laundry soap on- Aid, Ontario Works, food banks, the line, at farmers’ markets and in a Salvation Army and other social local boutique, using the proceeds agencies.” The simple strategy to help offset her expenses. (While worked: on the day of the event, two certain laundromats and sponsors hours before PJ’s doors were set to help cover costs, Power frequently open, there was a lineup down the pays for the events out of pocket.) street. Power kicked things off early, She wants to move toward a cou- and the laundromat was packed for pon-based system in the future, the next five hours. which would allow users to wash Since then, For the Love of Laun- and dry on their own schedules; dry has become a monthly occur- ultimately, she’d like For the Love rence, taking place at various of Laundry to go national. For now, London-area laundromats. For though, Power is happy to be help- many, the events—which attract an ing her own community, one load average of 50 people at a time—are at a time.

14 | 09 • 2015 | rd.ca *Name has been changed. F ACK- C CL

SC A Before the routine sets in and the weather gets cold, go through the kids’ wardrobes. Sort what’s outgrown and what’s worn out. Then make a list of what you need for back-to-school shopping. T T TI T For more information on who your donations benefi t, and to schedule a free pickup, go to valuevillage.com/donate. As Kids See It

“Is he going to check the eyes in the back of your head, too?”

MY THREE-YEAR-OLD grandson, WHILE MY SON, Jonathan, 5, and Jonah, was visiting at the same time I were walking through the Royal as a couple of our good friends. When Alberta Museum, we came upon a one friend asked what the boy’s name recreation of caveman paintings. was, my grandson told him, “Jonah.” When I explained to him that the “Tell him your whole name,” first humans communicated through I prompted. drawings, he yelled out, “The world’s “Oh, no, Grandma,” he said. first emojis!” LORA BESTWIFE, Edmonton “That’s my trouble name.” CAROL COMM, Medicine Hat, Alta. CLASSROOM FAIRNESS I recently ran into an old student of mine, who said, “I always liked you. You never had favourites. You were mean to everyone.” AND ONE FOR THE KIDS LOIS HENRY, via Internet

Q: What did one plate say to the other plate? Do your children make you chuckle? A A: Dinner’s on me. funny kid story could get you a free year’s

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16 | 09 • 2015 | rd.ca IT’S THE BEST WAY TO GET FROM A TO Z.

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*Certain features shown are optional and not offered on all models. ^As good as 13.7 L/100 km (21 MPG) city and 9.4 L/100 km (30 MPG) highway rating. Based on 2015 EnerGuide fuel consumption ratings. Government of Canada test methods used. Your actual fuel consumption will vary based on driving habits and other factors. Use for comparison purposes only. Ask your retailer for EnerGuide information. THE RD INTERVIEW

Showman Alan Thicke on family values, reality TV and why America can’t get enough of Canadians Father Figure

BY SARAH LISS ILLUSTRATION BY AIMÉE VAN DRIMMELEN

The new season of Unusually Thicke, the reality show and sitcom hybrid built around your family life, premieres this month. Would you say it’s closer to I Love Lucy or Keeping Up With the Kardashians? We fall kind of in the middle—like a cross between Here Comes Honey Boo Boo and Curb Your Enthusiasm.

Though it owes a debt to classic sitcoms like, well, Growing Pains. Familiar sitcom de- vices were crucial to our concept: tell two stories in a single episode and have them inter- sect, peak in certain places and include elements of conflict and

18 | 09 • 2015 | rd.ca resolution. It was important that one kind of laughter and fun. I think of us [on the writing staff] had paid enjoyment of entertainment in your his dues in sitcoms. environment is important—it doesn’t matter whether you’re in Kirkland Your cred in that area is unimpeach- Lake or West Hollywood. able: you worked with Norman Lear. I produced two Norman Lear series, Over the years, you’ve become one of I worked with him on a screenplay Canada’s most recognizable exports. that never got made, and I wrote the Why are Americans so fascinated theme songs for his shows The Facts with our culture? of Life and Diff’rent Strokes. When my One thing that makes us unique is son Carter was applying to university, the fact that, a generation ago, we the most impactful letter of recom­ were influenced not only by Ameri­ mendation he sent in was written by can sitcoms and movies but by Brit­ Norman. All these years later, good ish comedy. We saw Monty Python relationships pay off. and Marty Feldman and Benny Hill long before the Americans did. You’re both a star and an executive There’s a sense of absurd perform­ producer on the show. What’s it like ance art we bring to comedy, to to produce your day-to-day life? the great fascination of Americans. The biggest challenge is to be real, by definition of being a reality show, and You’re also known as America’s fa- to be amusing, by definition of being vourite dad. What lessons have you a sitcom. Beyond that, the toughest tried to impart to your three sons? thing has been protecting the family. I don’t have deep dark secrets or I don’t want to embarrass my wife or crazy behaviour patterns. The Jason my son or myself. Seaver character from Growing Pains and the Unusually Thicke character You grew up in Kirkland Lake, are pretty close to each other. If I Ont.—not exactly a showbiz could sum up what I hope they’ve capital. How did you cultivate learned: kindness, a work ethic, sin­ your taste for entertainment? cerity, love. I’m a pretty corny guy. My grandmother, my mother Work hard and be nice. That would and my father were interest­ be on my gravestone. That would be ing, funny people. They ap­ my epitaph. preciated the entertainment business and had their favourite per­ The third season of Unusually Thicke formers. So I was surrounded by that premieres this month on Slice.

rd.ca | 09 • 2015 | 19 DEPARTMENT OF WIT

A cat fancier comes clean My Love Letter to Boots BY MONICA HEISEY FROM I CAN’T BELIEVE IT’S NOT BETTER ILLUSTRATIONS BY AGATHE BRAY-BOURRET

!!WE ALL HAVE TO ASK our- cat?” The answers to those questions selves difficult questions in life. are, respectively: no, yes, probably “Should I have said that to my boss?” and definitely not. But guess what? “Will Damien ever forgive me?” This is my article, so here’s the truth: “Was that milk actually expired?” my cat is great, I love her so much, “Does anyone want to hear about my and you’re going to hear about her.

20 | 09 • 2015 | rd.ca Naturally Flavoured Club Soda with a HINT of Lemon and Lime. Refreshingly Unsweetened and Low Sodium. Join the Club!

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Her name is Boots, she’s orange I found the barf on a windowsill, and white, and though I’m waiting too late. It was very crusty. I spent on confirmation about this from a 10 minutes cleaning it off, and recent Cat Facts Institute/ when I went upstairs, Boots was BuzzFeed official poll, sprawled on my bed- it seems likely she’s side table, having one of the top five knocked all the ob- fluffiest muffins in jects on its surface North America. A to the ground, where convenient thing they lay, splayed out about kitties is that, beneath her. And you while they are not as know what? I just blindly loyal as dogs, rubbed her tummy their temporary inter- for a bit because you est in you is just as can’t be mad at a cat easily bought with for not being a person. treats and the right Animals are a bit gross kind of rubs. Buy this and that’s that. interest—it leads to In this vein, I re- purring. Cat snuggles cently bid farewell to feel so great precisely the following: hair-free because cats make You know what? black clothes; hair-free you work for it. You can’t be mad lifestyle in general; Of course, it’s not all at a cat for not sleep between the sweet bedtime cud- hours of 6 and 7 a.m.; dles. Boots is a barfer. being a person. peeing while not being She loves to barf. Sec- Animals are a stared at by a furry ond only to sleeping bit gross and companion; keeping and being casually that’s that. glasses of water or perfect, barfing is bracelets or basically maybe her favourite anything on tables; activity. But she is a a stress-free attitude lady and often barfs discreetly— toward whether or not doors and behind cupboards or under beds windows are ajar; friends with aller- or, once, inside a mug on a high gies; suitcases used for any purpose shelf—which means our life to- other than as a cat bed; my dreams gether is one long game of Find of being a hand model. But I can’t the Barf. I am bad at it. Yesterday stay mad at that baby.

22 | 09 • 2015 | rd.ca 

Well, I guess we’ve reached the cat. But I am sorry to tell you, that part in the piece where I admit that cat is gonna get called all kinds of I consider my cat my baby. It’s just crap, and you won’t even realize a classic literary device. Remember until one day you are headed to the when Charles Dickens bathroom and utter did it in Great Expecta- the out-loud-to-no- tions? You remember, one phrase, “Hey, “Before I could answer Booter-Beet, I’m (if I could have an- going to pee. Wanna swered so difficult a come?” At the mo- question at all), she ment I am using all of repeated, ‘Love her, the following to refer love her, love her! If to my girl B: Boots, she favours you, love Bean, Burger, Bean her. If she wounds you, Burger, Beet, Booter- love her. If she tears Beet, Bun, Bun Baby, your heart to pieces— Cat Head, Cheeseball, and as it gets older and The Baby and Butt- stronger, it will tear bag. That list is not deeper—love her, love exhaustive. Cat life her, love her!’” That changes you. was about Bubbles, his At the moment I will not apologize elderly female tabby. I refer to my cat for being a cat fancier. As with a good as Boots, Bean, Nor will I apologize friend, so with a good for Instagramming so cat: you don’t have to Burger, Beet, Bun many pictures of The stick to its original and Cheeseball. Baby. The way I see name. Sure, you took That list is not it, I’m just giving the some time to think of exhaustive. Internet what it wants: the perfect moniker more cat content. The for your new buddy. World Wide Web is You found the ideal basically a 50-50 split combination of quirky/cute/wink- of cats and porn, and I wouldn’t ingly allusive, and now you are the have it any other way. Love you, proud owner of Wes Anderson, the Boots. Looking forward to cleaning cat. Jem, the cat. Aunt Linda, the your barf in the near future.

© 2015 BY MONICA HEISEY. I CAN’T BELIEVE IT’S NOT BETTER: A WOMAN’S GUIDE TO COPING WITH LIFE IS PUBLISHED BY RED DEER PRESS. REDDEERPRESS.COM

rd.ca | 09 • 2015 | 23 Points to Ponder BY CHRISTINA PALASSIO

My second marriage, though far It feels like our story is validated at from perfect (how can it be when last and is out there for the world to I’m a part of it?), has proven a see. We were too scared as children calmer place than my first. Some to speak out, so to give our testi­ part of this, I’m convinced, has to monies to the commission was lib­ do with how much better I am at erating and emotional. biting my tongue and pretending to be a good partner, even when Y TOM-LINDLEY,CIND executive I’m feeling not quite amazing. director of the Indian Residential School Survivors Society, after the Truth and Reconciliation Commission released its report Writer LEAH McLAREN, in Chatelaine on residential schools

I’ve been a stand- up comedian for 28 years, and not once have I been “heckled” with sexual threats. I also don’t know of any other male comics who have been sexually threatened. Yet most female comics get that within their first week.

Comedian BRENT BUTT, on Twitter 25, 2015; MAY (McLAREN) QUOTES: ARTS. THE PERFORMING CENTRE FOR OF OAKVILLE (BUTT) COURTESY PHOTOS: 23, 2015. (BUTT) MAY 6, 2015); (JUNE THE GUARDIAN (TOM-LINDLEY)

24 | 09 • 2015 | rd.ca PHOTOS: (SMULDERS) © CBC; (HAYDEN) © THOMAS KING; (GIROUX) © NHL ARCHIVES (BALSILLIE) MAY 8,2015; (HAYDEN) MAY 17, 2015; (BEJAR) MAY 25,2015 (BATA) THEGLOBE ANDMAIL(MAY 7, 2015); (GIROUX) SPORTSNET (MARCH 27, 2015); QUOTES: (SMULDERS)HOLLYWOODCHICAGO.COM (MAY 4,2015); (PARÉ) MAY 10, 2015; the team. andyoushow make upto tryouts Where I’m from—Hearst, Ont.—you climate change, cannot we afford it. That iswasted material, andwith ket ashamed to be ofthemselves.… inthewastebas-and thenit[all]goes anoutfitbuy with to apairgo ofshoes You shouldwhojust tell thepeople to potential character development. choices that don’tshut any doors tire arc out set before you… to make cisions that are onanen- notbased it’s tricky to make de- performance character hasn’tyet. written been So television… often thearc ofyour It’s tricky puzzle working avery in captain

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Don’t fret—your anxious feelings can have positive results What, Me Worry?

BY ANDRE MAYER ILLUSTRATION BY ANJA JAVELONA

!!OF ALL OUR MENTAL im- ogists warn that abiding nervousness pulses, worry probably gets the least can lead to both fatigue and sleep- respect. We chide overly nervous lessness, even intestinal dysfunction. people for being worrywarts; too Acute anxiety can affect your focus much rumination causes worry lines. at work or compel you to seclude It’s true that fretting in excess can yourself from others in the hopes of have significant side effects. Psychol- keeping your phobias at bay. In cases

rd.ca | 09 • 2015 | 27 ReadeR’s digest such as these, counselling is likely a person’s experiences and general your best option. disposition, says Alexander Penney, But recent research suggests wor- a psychology professor at MacEwan rying can also have some surprising University in Edmonton. benefits. It can help you identify “You often need to know some- deep-seated concerns and spur one’s entire life story, and especially you to address them. key moments in their life, to know why they focus on the worries that Tap into your triggers they do,” says Penney. To harness the productive power of When something causes concern, this impulse, the key is to keep it in it activates the amygdala (the part of check. “As with other emotions, anx- the brain associated with emotional iety is something we responses and deci- have the ability to sion making) and hip- shape to some extent,” Worry can help pocampus (the area says Charlie Kurth, an you identify deep- connected to memory assistant professor of consolidation). Maybe philosophy at Wash- seated concerns you’ve inadvertently ington University in and spur you to walked into a dodgy St. Louis. address them. neighbourhood, or One approach is to you’re at a party and increase your self- just spotted your ex- awareness and notice physical man- girlfriend. Your central nervous sys- ifestations of worry. Once you clue tem may trigger the release of the into what your body is telling you, stress hormone cortisol, causing you can try to disarm your anxiety— your heart rate to spike. or, at the very least, better prepare It’s unsettling, sure, but the first yourself for a stressful situation. inkling of anxiety serves us well, says Rather than focusing your energy Kurth, because it can heighten our on the fact that you’re anxious, awareness of potential danger and says Kurth, it’s helpful to address the force us to gather more information source of the anxiety itself. about the situation to better address the uncertain threat we face. Instincts help face threats In that dodgy neighbourhood, What most worries you? Is it danger you might try to find a better-lit, to your family? Personal failure? more populated area, or else flag Fiery death? The things that spark a cab. At that stressful party, you fretfulness are largely determined by might plan a stealthy escape or

28 | 09 • 2015 | rd.ca 

devise a line of conversation that tended to report higher levels of might make a run-in with your worry and rumination. former flame less excruciating. A 2012 study published in Frontiers in Evolutionary Neuroscience found a Fret more, live longer correlation between both high intelli- Given its problem-solving benefits, gence and anxiety and the depletion worry may also be a sign of increased of the nutrient choline in one area of brainpower. During his graduate the brain, suggesting the two traits studies at Lakehead University in may have evolved in tandem. Lead Thunder Bay, Ont., Penney explored author Jeremy Coplan told Science- the connections between emotional Daily that worry may prompt many of disorders and intelligence. Using a us to avoid threatening situations, sample group of undergraduate which likely means those people have students, he and his colleagues found a higher survival rate. So if you’re a that those with higher verbal apti- nervous Nellie by nature, take heart: tude—a greater vocabulary and it’s possible all that worry may be a ability to articulate complex ideas— key to evolutionary success.

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Tips on caring for those most essential of joints Be Nice to Your Knees BY SAMANTHA RIDEOUT

!!KNEES HAVE AN IMPORTANT One way to give your knees love job to do: they support the body’s at any age is to strengthen the mus­ considerable weight while enabling cles that act like shock absorbers a great deal of its movements. And for them—namely the hamstrings as any structural engineer will tell (behind the thigh) and the quadri­ you, it isn’t always easy to combine ceps (in front of the thigh). Sammy strength and flexibility. Knees are Margo, a chartered physiotherapist among our largest and most com­ based in London, England, also rec­ plex joints, but they’re also some of ommends working on your core and the easiest to damage. Problems in building up gluteal muscles (located this area can lead to chronic pain, around the legs and buttocks). more frequent injuries and, ultim­ “They basically steer, control and ately, a loss of mobility. That’s why support the legs,” she explains. An keeping those joints healthy can exercise that works all of these mus­ make the difference between a good cles at once is stair climbing (or quality of life and a poor one, espe­ step­ups, which, as the name

cially as we get older. suggests, consist of stepping up MASTERFILE

30 | 09 • 2015 | rd.ca MENTAL HEALTH | WHAT YOU WANT TO KNOW SPECIAL ADVERTISING FEATURE Depression is not a typical part of aging.

Depression is the most common mental health problem in older adults with up to 1 in 5 seniors experiencing symptoms. In long-term care homes that statistic increases to up to 40% of residents experiencing depression.

It often goes undetected and unmentioned. Older adults are less likely to talk about feeling Depression can be treated successfully depressed. They may not be aware of the changes in when acted on quickly and properly. their mood, thinking, and behaviour, or they may be ashamed of having mental health issues. It’s important to realize that depression isn’t a personal weakness or an inability to cope. And depression is not a typical Know the risk factors and triggers. part of aging. It’s a medical illness that can—and There’s no single cause of depression, yet there are risk should—be treated. Because without treatment, such factors and stressful events that can trigger its symptoms: as counselling, therapy and sometimes medication, it • Family history doesn’t usually get better on its own. • Long-lasting illness that causes pain and disability • Changes in the brain from illness (e.g., stroke, Parkinson’s, Alzheimer’s, lupus) Watch for the symptoms: • Persistent sleep problems (too much or too little) • Feeling sad, lonely or anxious • Certain medications (e.g., corticosteroids, • Feeling guilty or having regrets narcotics, benzodiazepines, progesterone) • Loss of pleasure from your favourite things • Loss of a loved one, separation, or divorce • Sleeping problems (too much or not enough) • Caregiving for a family member with a serious • Problems thinking and focusing • Less energy / feeling tired or slow health condition • Feeling unwell / more aches and pains / irritated • Moving to a smaller place, an apartment, • Changes in eating habits or weight or a nursing home • Thinking about suicide or death • Social isolation • Financial crisis

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Look for our brochures in-store. Shoppers Drug Mart is proud to launch our Seniors Mental Health Support Program brochures created together with the Public Health Agency of Canada and the Canadian Coalition for Seniors’ Mental Health. shoppersdrugmart.ca ReadeR’s digest and down on a stair or a stool). An easy way to figure out what kind Ascending a flight of stairs has the of arch you have is to wet your foot added bonus of being a low-impact and step on a piece of cardboard. If activity, and one that helps with most of your footprint is visible, you cardiovascular fitness. likely have low-arched feet, whereas Footwear can be a if only a bit of it friend or a foe to your shows up, you proba- knees. High heels, for bly have high arches. example, force the Finally, if your joints to endure ap- 6,000 knees have already proximately 25 per The number of steps a day suffered some wear cent more pressure that lowers the risk of and tear—from compared to going mobility issues in people arthritis, for exam- barefoot. When it who have or are at risk ple, or from past in- of knee osteoarthritis. comes to finding juries—you might healthy shoes for prefer low-impact everyday walking, look for cushioning exercises for your fitness regimen. and a good fit. Consider your foot Swimming and cycling are great, shape: people with high arches might as is Nordic walking—the trekking want extra padding to compensate poles offer extra support, particu- for a lack of natural shock absorption. larly when you’re going downhill.

normally stay on antidepressants for News From at least two years after they start to feel better. However, a study of 424 the World of patients in remission, from the United Kingdom, found Medicine that a treatment called mindfulness-based cog- nitive therapy (MBCT) Mindfulness resulted in approxi- Therapy as mately the same success Effective as Drugs rate (between 53 and 56 People who’ve suffered per cent) as medication. from clinical depression have MBCT combines the rational

a high risk of relapse, so they problem-solving approach of LEVI BROWN; (PROP STYLIST) PHILIP SHUBIN

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34 | 09 • 2015 | rd.ca that mysterious dent a sign your aging parent needs help

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Charting the rise of COPD Out of Breath BY SAMANTHA RIDEOUT ILLUSTRATION BY TRACY WALKER

!!IN 1952, A NUMBER of publi- currently have a habit of lighting up. cations (including Reader’s Digest) But because of the long-term effects reported on early evidence linking of smoking, we still face the public cigarettes and lung cancer. By 1964, health aftermath caused by ciga- the U.S. Surgeon General declared rettes in their heyday, when roughly cigarettes a health hazard, kicking half the population smoked. One off a downward trend in the smok- major consequence is the increased ing rate that continues to this day. prevalence of chronic obstructive Only about 16 per cent of Canadians pulmonary disease (COPD).

THE SMOKING RATE

Canadian smoking rates have been declining since the 1960s. As such, there’s been a levelling off in new lung cancer diagnoses, and a similar trend is anticipated for COPD over time.

Women Men Source: Propel Centre for Population Health Impact, University of Waterloo in Ontario

36 | 09 • 2015 | rd.ca Reduces the look of scars through moisturization. Also relieves pain. This product may or may not be right for you. Always read and follow the label. © Johnson & Johnson Inc. 2015 READER’S D IGEST

COPD is an umbrella term for gen may affect the way the body chronic diseases that cause shortness breaks down cigarette smoke, lead- of breath, coughing and mucus in the ing to a greater accumulation of airways. Cigarette smoke is the prin- toxic metabolites. cipal cause in 80 to 90 per cent of Studies suggest COPD is underdi- COPD cases. Other risk factors agnosed and undertreated. This include workplace exposure to cer- indifference may be related to the tain dusts (e.g., inhaling coal or stigma around smoking. But many grain residue), childhood respira- picked up the habit in their teens, tory infections and a rare genetic some at a time when cigarette defect that weakens the lungs. companies were still marketing to These conditions progress slowly, impressionable youth. Better public increasingly affecting your breathing awareness of this disease could pre- over time, and can eventually become vent more young people from fatal. The two most common types of following suit, so it’s worth working COPD are chronic bronchitis, an in- to dispel the cloud of shame. flammation of the lining of the bron- chial tubes; and emphysema, which AN UNDERDIAGNOSED is when the air sacs in the lungs CONDITION weaken and eventually rupture. At last count, there were about The most reliable way to diagnose 832,100 Canadians with COPD, a COPD is with spirometry, in which a number that’s been climbing since machine gauges lung function. Here’s a the 1950s. It’s currently the country’s comparison between test results from fourth leading cause of death, after a random sample of Canadians and cancer, heart disease and stroke. people who have a formal diagnosis. Women die from COPD at a dis- proportionately higher rate than men: the number of deaths each year is roughly equal between the genders, even though there have always been fewer female smokers. In recent years, COPD has rivalled breast cancer as a primary threat to the lives of Canadian women. Scien- tists suspect women are more vul- Airflow nerable because their lungs are obstruction found in Diagnosed typically smaller and because estro- spirometry with COPD

38 | 09 • 2015 | rd.ca Source: Statistics Canada SUNDAY, SEPTEMBER 13TH 2.5KM OR 5KM WALK

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Organic options that should top your shopping list Clean Cuisine BY ALEX MLYNEK FROM BEST HEALTH

!!WHY BUY ORGANIC? Food Blueberries produced in this way tends to have On the Shopper’s Guide of the En- a lower impact on the environment vironmental Working Group (EWG) and is often grown under more con- (which ranks fruits and vegetables scientious conditions. It may also contaminated by pesticides from benefit your health. A meta-analysis most to least), blueberries grown in of more than 300 studies published the United States come in at No. 14, last summer in the British Journal of while imported ones land in 24th Nutrition found that food from or- place. There’s another reason to go ganic crops contained, on average, green: “Organic blueberries tend to 20 to 25 per cent more antioxidants be smaller because they don’t get and had lower levels of toxic metal as much nitrogen fertilizer,” says and pesticides. The downside is that Mary Ruth McDonald, research these products can be expensive. program director of plant produc- Knowing which organic foods offer tion systems at Ontario’s University the greatest benefits can help you of Guelph. There are more antioxi-

tailor your purchases to your budget. dants in smaller blueberries. ISTOCKPHOTO

40 | 09 • 2015 | rd.ca Sometimes food can really speak to kids.

*© 2015, Trademark of Kellogg Company used under licence by Kellogg Canada Inc. 42 of multiple residues onour bodies. don’tknowbecause we theimpact applesof domestic andimported It’s choosing organic worth varieties agency’s maximum residue limit. theless consistently stayed underthe tiple pesticides, never but thefruit apple crops contained traces ofmul- The CFIA’s latest report that noted Apples find local—and cheaper—options. whenyouin season, may able be to it’s waiting until worth peachesare at timesoftheyear, some pricey be uce Dozen” list ofpesticide-heavy prod place ontheEWG’sin second “Dirty sits fruit thefuzzy multiple residues: have shownthat peachescan carry Food (CFIA) Inspection Agency theEWG andtheCanadianBoth Peaches Reade . Since theorganic version can |

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- - cent research out oftheUniversity the animals and,according to re- munch on.That diet ishealthier for they’re biologically designedto plants, which, unlike corn,are what where eat they grass andother Organic cows roam inpastures, cade ofenvironmental problems. offacas andset shown to kill bees insecticides, which have been cows istreated neonicotinoid with to conventionallycorn fed raised effect ofeatingeffect pesticidesover time.” ing “thecumulative andinteractive time, hesays, should measur we be trarily levels ofonepesticideat set a research. Rather than tracking arbi- ment, says it’s anarea of inneed Guelph’s plant agriculture depart a professor intheUniversity of sustainable production food and Martin,Ralph C. Loblaw chair in edible part ofabanana part edible not does Thanks to theprotective the peel, Bananas contain many pesticides. Nev beef. For one, of thetype ertheless, traditional grow- sons to choose organic to choose sons ing practices large use There are several rea- amounts ofchemicals, Beef putting thelocal envi- tion workers at risk. ronment andplanta-

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ISTOCKPHOTO  That’s of Toronto, makes the meat better for us. Scientists have found that, compared to their conventional counterparts, meat and dairy funny. from grass-fed cows have a higher ratio of omega-3 to omega-6 fatty acids (the former reduces inflam- mation; the latter exacerbates it). Finally, because organic beef doesn’t contain antibiotics or growth hormones, it’s less likely to have been exposed to drug-resist- ant bacteria. Dried herbs and spices Read the labels on the herbs and spices in your pantry. If the ones you use most often are imported into Canada, consider buying them organic. Imported dried spices are often irradiated, says Sarah Rams- den, a Vancouver Island-based cer- tified nutritional practitioner. “This increases the shelf life,” she ex- plains, “but it reduces the nutri- That’s tional content of the food.” Reader’s Digest. Potatoes Although potatoes do score well Don’t miss the punchline. when it comes to complying with the maximum residue limit, the rd.ca/subscribe CFIA reports that spuds have traces of multiple pesticides. “Potatoes have a few persistent pests,” says McDonald. This may explain the need for chemical spraying. As is the case with apples, buying organic in this category is a good choice. ReadeR’s digest

Dairy “Organic is a great option for dairy, especially butter,” says Rams- PERFECT den. Organic dairy cows spend part of their WITH spring and summer outdoors, where they graze on CAKE grass and other greens; while in the cooler AND A months, they are fed organic feed (which WHOLE is better for bees because LOT MORE. it doesn’t involve the For more great milk pairings use of neo- nicotinoids). and delicious recipes to make One hundred everything from pie to pizza visit per cent grass-fed butter can be expensive and hard to find. Ramsden stocks up in the summer and early fall, closer to when cows have access to pasture, and freezes it for use throughout

the winter. ISTOCKPHOTO IT’S LIKE THE ICING ON THE ICING ON THE CAKE. SPECIAL FEATURE

Book IN PARTNERSHIP WITH Club

BOOK OF THE MONTH Taking Flight Paula McLain explores the life and loves of the infamous Beryl Markham in Circling the Sun BY PAULA MCLAIN REVIEW BY MARK HAMILTON

With her imaginative piece of historic fiction Circling the Sun, author Paula Mc- Lain dives into the world 384 pages, $32 (hardcover) of real-life heroine Beryl Release date Jul 28, 2015 Markham, whose notoriety stretched far beyond her record as Beryl’s earliest memories capture the first woman to guide an aircraft the coming of age of a strong-willed across the Atlantic, in 1936. While tomboy marked by fearless encoun- Beryl’s historic take-off and landing ters with the unforgiving landscape act as triumphant bookends, Circling and wildlife of Africa. Abandoned the Sun is far more interested in the by her mother and left with her fa- life and loves that came before her ther, a racehorse trainer, Beryl lives epoch-defining flight. for adventure. Spending her days Raised in Kenya (or “Kenya before exploring and hunting, the young it was Kenya,” as recited in a sus- Beryl dreams of a future as a war- penseful truth-or-dare-style parlour rior, gender roles be damned. game with powerful consequences), The0 2 th century, however, has dif- ferent ideas, and Beryl enters an admirable life of revolutionary protest against the constraints placed on the women of her time. Fighting for her right to love freely, train prize-winning horses (at the time, strictly a man’s pursuit), and later take flight over an unconquered, seemingly insurmountable ocean, Beryl provides McLain with a protagonist overflowing with character.

While Beryl’s historic An extraordinary take-off and landing act memoir about grief, as triumphant bookends, new motherhood and what it means Circling the Sun is far to be a family. more interested in the life and loves that came before her epoch-defining flight.

Told through even and evocative prose dappled with cinematic descriptions of Beryl’s beloved Af- rica, Circling the Sun profiles an unforgettable trendsetter whose numerous accomplishments are well worth another look.

Join the Club A unique coming Get more great book recommendations and reviews with the Reader’s Digest & of age novel that is Penguin Random House Canada Book Club. warm, wise, tender and touching from VISIT READERSDIGEST.CA/BOOKCLUB Giller Prize winner Elizabeth Hay.

SCAN WITH LAYAR TO READ AN EXCERPT FROM OUR FEATURED BOOK! CULTURE

Acclaimed memoirist Ian Brown contemplates aging in Sixty Mid-Life Sentences BY SARAH LISS

In February 2014, Ian Brown celebrated his 60th birthday by sharing a post on his Face- book page. Written earlier that morning, the note found the Toronto author and journalist reflecting on his feelings about reaching the milestone. In Sixty: The Beginning of the End or the End of the Beginning? he parlays that social-media monologue into his sec- ond memoir (it follows 2009’s The Boy in the Moon, a moving portrait of his disabled son) and a broader look at mortality, longevity and legacy. Sept. 22.

This month’s hottest books, music, movies and TV

TWO YEARS, EIGHT PURITY MONTHS AND 28 NIGHTS Jonathan Salman Rushdie Franzen Part fable, part speculative fiction, Drawing on his part magical realism, Rushdie’s knack for depicting new novel is entirely the squabbles and enchanting: the rifts of dysfunc- award-winning tional American author imagines families, Franzen a near-future details the short- New York overrun comings of a free-spirited young by mischievous woman seeking out her long-lost

genies. Sept. 8. father. Sept. 1. (RUSHDIE) © SYRIE MOSKOWITZ

48 | 09 • 2015 | rd.ca CANOE COUNTRY: DEPRESSION THE MAKING CHERRY OF CANADA Beach House Roy MacGregor For this fifth studio A master of Canadiana, album of lush, bucolic MacGregor shares his dream pop, the Balti- own memories of pad- more duo adopts an in- dling and portages in a creasingly minimalist chronicle of how canoes approach—and adds a helped found—and con- touch of whimsy in the tinue to shape—our form of a cover clad in country. Sept. 8. red velvet. Aug. 28.

SICARIO WHY NOT ME? A recent con- Mindy Kaling tender for the Palme In her follow-up to 2011’s d’Or at the Cannes film Is Everyone Hanging Out festival, this nail-biter Without Me? Kaling mines from Quebec director her neuroses for a collec- Denis Villeneuve stars tion of autobiographical Emily Blunt as a sparky essays about everything agent recruited to help from Hollywood’s rigid bring down a Mexican beauty standards to matters drug lord. Sept. 18. of the heart. Sept. 15.

EVEREST LOVE CHILD A superb cast (Jake Gyllenhaal, Robin Wright This popular per- and John Hawkes) and iod drama about the smart script elevate this goings-on at a Sydney real-life story above hospital and home for the typical action- unwed mothers in the adventure flick. Those 1960s aired in Australia with a fear of heights last year; now the CBC or extreme weather brings the first season might want to steer to Canadian airwaves.

PICTURES © UNIVERSAL © NBC; (EVEREST) (KALING) clear. Sept. 18. Airing now.

rd.ca | 09 • 2015 | 49 6 FOR MONTHS PRINT FREE DOWNLOAD SUBSCRIBERS! &EAD R UP

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Apple and iPad are trademarks of Apple Inc., USE YOUR iPAD AND DOWNLOAD registered in the U.S. and other countries. OUR APP NOW BY SCANNING App Store is a service mark of Apple Inc. THIS PAGE WITH LAYAR. Get the Crisp Finger Sandwich recipe inside! Greek BREADBeef Pitas SERIOUS APPLE- Grilled Italian GOUDA Sandwiches MELTS UP YOUR SANDWICH GAME THIS MONTH WITH THESE CREATIVE RECIPES 1. Arrange bread on baking sheet; spread Apple-Gouda tops with half of the butter. Broil 4-6 in. (10-15 cm) from the heat for 1-2 minutes Melts or until lightly toasted. 2. Turn bread over; spread tops with re- Grilled cheese is a go-to meal in our maining butter. Layer with the mozzarella family for an after-school snack, quick cheese, apple slices, and Gouda cheese. lunch, and even a fun treat on trips. Broil 3-4 minutes longer or until cheese These sandwiches are a grown-up is melted. version of something we all love. —CHERYLIN BIRKHOLZ, NUTRITION FACTS: 1 open-face sandwich MARYSVILLE, CALIF. equals 332 calories, 22 g fat (14 g saturated fat), 75 mg cholesterol, 453 mg sodium, 18 g carbohydrate, 3 g fbre, 15 g protein. PREP / TOTAL TIME: 15 MIN. MAKES: 6 SERVINGS

6 slices seeded whole grain bread 1 /4 cup (50 mL) butter, softened, divided 6 oz (175 g) fresh mozzarella cheese, sliced 1 large apple, thinly sliced 6 oz (175 g) smoked Gouda cheese, sliced

Sweet or tart? Try diferent varieties of apples! Greek Beef Pitas 4 whole pita breads, warmed A local fast-food pita Additional chopped tomatoes and restaurant inspired me to cucumber (optional) make my own Greek-style sandwiches at home. 1. In large skillet, cook beef, onion, and Add olives if you like. garlic over medium heat 8-10 minutes or —NANCY SOUSLEY, LAFAYETTE, IND. until beef is no longer pink and vegetables are tender, breaking up beef into crumbles; drain. Stir in oregano and 1/2 tsp (2 mL) PREP / TOTAL TIME: 25 MIN. salt. MAKES: 4 SERVINGS 2. In small bowl, mix yogurt, tomato, 1 pound (500 g) lean ground beef cucumber, dill, and remaining salt. Spoon (90% lean) 3/4 cup (175 mL) beef mixture over each 1 small onion, chopped pita bread; top with 3 tbsp (45 mL) yogurt 3 garlic cloves, minced sauce. If desired, top with additional 1 tsp (5 mL) dried oregano tomatoes and cucumbers. Serve with 3 remaining yogurt sauce. /4 tsp (4 mL) salt, divided 1 cup (250 mL) reduced-fat plain Greek yogurt NUTRITION FACTS: 1 serving (calculated without optional toppings) equals 407 calories, 1 medium tomato, chopped 11 g fat (4 g saturated fat), 74 mg cholesterol, 1/ cup (125 mL) chopped peeled 2 851 mg sodium, 40 g carbohydrate, 2 g f bre, cucumber 34 g protein. 1 tsp (5 mL) dill weed 1 garlic clove, minced 1 /4 tsp (1 mL) crushed red pepper flakes 1 loaf (18 oz or 560 g) Italian bread, unsliced 6 oz (175 g) provolone cheese, sliced 1 /3 lb (170 g) hard salami, thinly sliced 6 oz (175 g) cheddar cheese, sliced 1 /3 lb (170 g) deli roast beef, sliced

1. In large skillet, sauté peppers in oil just until tender. Sprinkle with salt and pepper. Meanwhile, in small bowl, combine butter, mustard, chives, garlic, and pepper flakes.

2. Cut bread into 1/2-in. (1 cm) slices, leaving slices attached at the bottom. Cut loaf through the two centre slices, separating loaf into two halves. Cut off Grilled Italian Sandwiches and discard end slices. Place each loaf I made this for a family gathering and on heavy-duty foil coated with cooking everyone raved about it. It's a fun recipe spray. Spread butter mixture between to grill for a crowd and can be adjusted every other slice. Alongside buttered according to everyone's favourite slices, insert cheese, meat, and peppers, sandwich fillings. using provolone cheese and salami in —TAMMY KRIZ, MARSHALL, MINN. one loaf and cheddar cheese and roast beef in the other.

PREP: 30 MIN. GRILL: 10 MIN. 3. Wrap each loaf tightly in foil; place MAKES: 12 SERVINGS on grill rack. Grill, covered, over indirect medium heat for 8-10 minutes or until 1 small sweet yellow pepper, cheese is melted. Using a serrated knife, julienned separate sandwiches. Or, to bake sand- 1 small sweet red pepper, julienned wiches: Bake foil-wrapped loaves at 1 small green pepper, julienned 350°F (180°C) for 20-25 minutes or 1 tbsp olive oil until cheese is melted. 1 /8 tsp (0.5 mL) salt Dash pepper NUTRITION FACTS: 1 sandwich equals 1 /2 cup (125 mL) butter, softened 364 calories, 23 g fat (12 g saturated fat), 1 tbsp (15 mL) prepared mustard 65 mg cholesterol, 862 mg sodium, 2 tsp (10 mL) chives, minced 23 g carbohydrate, 2 g fibre, 17 g protein. CRISP FINGER SANDWICH

I love snacking on this delicious sandwich 3 tbsp (45 mL) alfalfa sprouts with its crisp English cucumber. I have also Dash coarsely ground pepper made batches of these for parties and showers, using a small party loaf of whole 1. Spread toast with cream cheese. wheat or sourdough bread. Top with cucumber, sprouts, and pepper. —MELISSA SELIN, BOTHELL, WASH. NUTRITION FACTS: 1 sandwich equals 136 calories, 6 g fat (3 g saturated fat), PREP / TOTAL TIME: 10 MIN. 15 mg cholesterol, 323 mg sodium, MAKES: 1 SERVING 13 g carbohydrate, 2 g f bre, 7 g protein. e1 wholeslic wheat bread, toasted 2 tbsp (25 mL) reduced-fat spreadable garden vegetable CALLING ALL Send your HOME COOKS! cream cheese Share your favourite recipes 1 recipes! /3 cup (75 mL) thinly sliced English at tasteofhome.com/submit. cucumber COVER STORY

On September 9 at 5:30 p.m. GMT, Queen Elizabeth II becomes the longest-reigning ruler in British history. In honour of that milestone, a truly Canadian look back at highlights from her 63 years, 218 days on the throne. Mighty onarch M BY STÉPHANIE VERGE 1952 LONG LIVE THE QUEEN Princess Elizabeth is at a fishing lodge in Kenya with her husband of four years, Prince Philip, when she learns her father, King George VI, has died in his sleep at the age of 56. Suddenly finding herself Queen and head of the Commonwealth, she immediately boards a plane back to England.

1953 THE CORONATION On the day that 27-year-old Queen Elizabeth is officially anointed and crowned, 900 members of the Canadian Forces are among the mili- tary guarding the parade 1957 A FIRST CANADIAN TOUR route or taking part in the Though the then-princess had travelled procession to Westminster across Canada with Prince Philip in Abbey. Back in Canada, “God 1951, her first visit as Queen comes six Save the Queen” has been years later. In Ottawa, she declares translated into French for Parliament in session and becomes the coronation festivities so the first reigning monarch to make Quebec royalists can join in. the Speech from the Throne.

JUST LIKE GREAT-GREAT-GRANDMA

Queen Victoria: JUNE 20, 1837–JAN. 2, 1901 (23,226 DAYS, 16 HOURS AND 23 MINUTES).

Became Queen at 18. Queen Elizabeth II:

FEB. 6, 1952–PRESENT (23,226 DAYS, 16 HOURS, 24 MINUTES AND COUNTING).

Became Queen at 25. PARLIAMENT ARCHIVE/CP

rd.ca | 09 • 2015 | 57 READER’S D IGEST

1959 THE OPENING OF THE ST. LAWRENCE SEAWAY In Canada for a whopping 45 days (her longest tour on record), QEII visits all of the provinces and territor- ies. She takes the opportun- ity to officially open the St. Lawrence Seaway to com- mercial traffic—in the pres- ence of Prime Minister John Diefenbaker and U.S. Presi- dent Dwight D. Eisenhower.

1967 CANADA TURNS 100 AND THE WORLD COMES TO EXPO 67 Arriving at Montreal’s Île Notre-Dame by sea on the royal yacht Britannia, the Queen and Prince Philip head straight to the Great Britain pavilion, followed by lunch at the Canadian headquarters and a tour of the exhibition by minirail. The royal The Queen tours the couple later spends the night at her name- Indians of Canada sake digs, the Queen Elizabeth Hotel. pavilion at Expo 67.

Though God hath raised me THE LONG high, yet this I count the glory GAME of my crown, that I have reigned with your loves.* During the Queen’s I say to you that it is my wish six-plus decades on the throne, that in the years before me I there have been may so reign in Canada and seven popes, 11 be so remembered. Canadian prime SPEECH FROM THE THRONE, 1957 ministers and 11 *Lifted from a 1601 speech by Queen Elizabeth I governors general. AP ARCHIVE/CP

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DEEP SPACE TRANSMISSION

The Queen and her 13 MARCH 2013 communications I AM PLEASED TO TRANSMIT MY PERSONAL BEST WISHES, team released AND THOSE OF ALL CANADIANS, TO COLONEL CHRISTOPHER 32 messages and HADFIELD AS HE TAKES COMMAND OF THE INTERNATIONAL statements in 2013, SPACE STATION ON WEDNESDAY. OUR THOUGHTS AND BEST one of which was WISHES ARE WITH HIM AND THE ENTIRE CREW, AS ARE OUR addressed to su- PRAYERS FOR AN EVENTUAL SAFE RETURN TO FAMILY, perstar spaceman FRIENDS AND FELLOW CANADIANS. ELIZABETH R.* Chris Hadfield: *The R stands for “Regina,” Latin for “Queen”

1976 THE MONTREAL OLYMPICS 1982 CANADA In July, the Queen opens the Olympic Games GAINS IRREFUTABLE in Montreal. It’s a family affair: her daughter, INDEPENDENCE Princess Anne, is a member of the British With a beaming Pierre equestrian team. (More than three decades Elliott Trudeau at her side, later, Princess Anne’s daughter, Zara, will Queen Elizabeth signs the follow in her mother’s footsteps and com- proclamation of the Con- pete at the 2012 London Olympics.) stitution Act in Ottawa. With this document, Can- ada now has the power to amend its own constitu- tion without appealing to the British Parliament. /CP STAR RON BULL/ TORONTO

rd.ca | 09 • 2015 | 59 A SOVEREIGN’S SWAG

Accepting presents big and small during state visits and life milestones is just part of the job. Here, some of the notable gifts given to QEII by Canada.

During the ceremony, one of the beavers peeked out of its tank.

In the 17th century, the Crown granted the Hudson’s Bay Company the right to exploit resources around Hudson Bay. The fee? Two elk skins and two black beaver pelts to be presented to the British royalty during a so-called Rent Ceremony upon visits to Canada. On July 14, 1970, in Winnipeg, rather than offer Queen Elizabeth the animals in their customary form, HBC gave her two live beavers that hammed their way through the proceedings. The frisky pair was later placed in the care of the London Zoo.

A committed equestrian, the In addition to horses, corgis and dorgis (a breed Queen—who still rides at the she introduced that’s a cross between a corgi age of 89—has been presented and a dachshund), the Queen has a passion for with several horses over the jewellery. A wardrobe staple: the Williamson years. Between 1969 and 1986, Brooch, fashioned from a pink diamond given at the annual Trooping the to her by Canadian geologist John Thorburn Colour ceremony, she rode a Williamson as a wedding present. Williamson black mare named Burmese later offered her 203 white diamonds from his given to her by the Royal mine in what is now Tanzania, and the whole

Canadian Mounted Police. was used to form the jonquil-shaped bauble. CANADIAN PRESS

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1994 FROM SEA WHAT’S IN A NAME? TO SHINING SEA Queen Elizabeth and Prince Philip kick off a Elizabeth the Second, by the Grace of God, 10-day coast-to-coast of the United Kingdom, Canada and Her other visit in Nova Scotia, Realms and Territories, Queen, Head of the then travel cross- Commonwealth, Defender of the Faith country to the Com- monwealth Games in Victoria. They also make a quick trip north to Rankin Inlet to watch Inuit dan- cers before flying to Iqaluit, Nunavut.

2002 FACING OFF AT CENTRE ICE During her Golden Jubilee tour, the Queen wins over sports fans when she drops the ceremonial puck at a game between the Vancouver Can- ucks and San Jose Sharks. Hockey royalty Wayne Gretzky and Cassie Campbell look on.

2010 HER FINAL TOUR? In year 58 of her reign and visit No. 22 to Canada, Queen Elizabeth fetes the navy’s centennial, the country’s 143rd anniversary and the dedication of the Canadian Museum for Human Rights in Win- nipeg. Less auspicious in hindsight: during a walkabout of the Waterloo, “I’m going home to Ont., headquarters of tech firm Canada tomorrow.” Research in Motion, she is gifted a WHEN LEAVING CALIFORNIA white BlackBerry Bold. FOR BRITISH COLUMBIA, 1983 AND MAIL /CP JOHN LEHMANN/ THE GLOBE

rd.ca | 09 • 2015 | 61 SOCIETY

Payday loans are a lifeline for low-income Canadians—but at what cost? CASH- STRAPPED BY CHRISTOPHER POLLON FROM THE WALRUS

62 | 09 • 2015 | rd.ca MASTERFILE REAdER’S dIGEST

IN APRIL 2014, I met Mark Collins and Sarah Ferdinand* in McBride, a mixed-income area in New Westminster, B.C. Both Collins, 40, and Ferdinand, 34, are on government disability. Ferdinand was laid off from her call-centre job when the company closed eight years ago; physical ailments have hindered her ability to work since then. Collins, who has trouble walking, hasn’t been employed since 2007.

Like more than 96 per cent of Can­ strategy is to taper down the amount adians, they have a bank account— reborrowed each month, pay it in full a requirement for the direct deposit and combine their GST cheques with of their monthly disability cheques, money from their families to eventu­ which total just over $1,500. But ally settle the debt entirely. their lifeline is the Money Mart near They are among the more than where I met them. At this payday­ 198,000 British Columbians who lending store, the couple take out took out a combined 858,000 payday small short­term loans on an ongo­ loans in 2014. Every year, more than ing basis, at annual percentage rates two million Canadians turn to such in the triple digits. Such advances businesses. Since payday lenders first are designed to tide customers over appeared in Canada in the mid­1990s, until their next paycheque arrives, at at least 1,770 storefront operations which point the entire debt is settled. have sprung up across the country. In exchange for preauthorized debit A market exists for these services— for the principal, plus fees, clients in particularly small loans ranging from B.C. can walk away with up to 50 per $100 to $1,500 that can be turned cent of their next paycheque in hand. around quickly and without a conven­ In practice, that’s not always how it tional credit check. But in serving this works. For Collins and Ferdinand, the market, are payday lenders preying on last five years have been spent on the vulnerable, low­income Canadians? payday­loan treadmill—a metaphor that conjures the image of a gerbil on USING FUTURE PAYCHEQUES as col­ a wheel. Typically, each $100 to $400 lateral for loans dates back at least to they borrow triggers a crisis. They the American Civil War, when shady are able to pay the money back, plus entrepreneurs followed Union armies, fees—$23 for every $100 loaned—at advancing funds to impoverished sol­ the end of the month, but they must diers in exchange for a cut of their borrow more to eat and pay rent. Their earnings to come. Around this time,

64 | 09 • 2015 | rd.ca *Names have been changed.  salary lenders appeared in the United as collateral. Then, as now, the ser- States, providing advances at annual vice was not geared toward the very rates exceeding 500 per cent a year. Be- poor. It has always been marketed to ginning in 1906, the Canadian govern- low- and moderate-income house- ment passed usury laws that protected holds—albeit those with minimal consumers. Banks began to lend cash, savings and limited access to credit. and consumer-finance companies Canada’s era of payday lending granted modest loans, charging inter- began in 1996, when Pennsylvania- est of 28 to 35 per cent annually. based Dollar Financial Group Inc. The boom that followed the Sec- (now known as DFC Global Corp.) ond World War changed the way bought Edmonton chain Money Mart. everyone thought about borrowing. Founded in 1982, Money Mart had “Most of our grandparents grew up grown to more than 180 outlets across in a time when you had to be fiercely the country by that point. Between independent and look after your- 1999 and 2005, the number of payday- self,” says Scott Hannah, president loan outlets increased by 149 per cent and CEO of the Credit Counselling in Toronto, Vancouver and Winnipeg. Society, Canada’s largest not-for-profit The industry thrived in a regula- debt-counselling service. “These les- tory vacuum. Successive federal gov- sons were not passed on.” In the span ernments refused to enforce a 1980 of a generation, many Canadians went usury law that made it a criminal of- from relying on savings for emergen- fence for lenders to charge more than cies to relying on credit. 60 per cent annual interest. Hannah In the 1980s, with the popular- calls the period between 1996 and ization of credit cards, which were 2007 the “Wild West” era for payday much cheaper to administer, North lending in Canada. “We saw that the American banks largely abandoned annual interest rates charged in many small loans. For those who could not cases were at or near 1,000 per cent,” access conventional credit, some- he says. Credit cards must present in- thing new emerged. In 1991, James terest as an annual percentage rate, Eaton of Johnson City, Tenn., a vet- or APR, which represents what bor- eran of the credit-bureau business, rowers would owe if they didn’t pay opened a retail store called Check their debts for a year. Payday loans Cashing Inc. While his principal can be confusing. A $23 fee on a $100 business was cashing paycheques two-week loan seems to indicate an without the delay of a bank hold, interest rate of 23 per cent, but in Eaton started offering small loans credit-card terms, it is close to a 600 and accepting future paycheques per cent APR.

rd.ca | 09 • 2015 | 65 ReADeR’s D IGesT

When regulations finally arrived, that made payday loans illegal. Bill they were prompted by disgruntled cus- C-26, which received royal assent in tomers. One day in 2002, a Vancouver May 2007, changed the Criminal Code courier named Kurt MacKinnon com- to exempt payday lenders from crim- plained to a legal secretary at boutique inal sanctions, provided that provinces law firm Hordo & Bennett—now Hordo enacted their own regulations. Seven Bennett Mounteer (HBM)—about provinces have introduced legislation; the fees charged at the lenders he used, New Brunswick is taking steps to do including Money Mart. “If Money so. (Newfoundland, Quebec and the Mart’s practices were unlawful, as territories have not followed suit.) alleged, then it was likely that the Collins and Ferdinand were part practices of the entire industry were of the first class-action suit, against unlawful,” says HBM’s Money Mart, which managing partner, was settled in 2010 for Mark Mounteer. $24.75 million. They In January 2003, the Within a were pleased to hear firm launched a class- generation, they’d get more than action suit against ev- Canadians went $400 back, but soon ery payday lender in from relying learned that the settle- the province. The Su- on savings for ment would be split. preme Court of Brit- emergencies The first part would ish Columbia rejected to relying be paid out in cash, this approach but on credit. with an option to get allowed HBM to pur- the other half immedi- sue actions against ately—as Money Mart individual companies. vouchers. To receive In 2005, the firm dropped all defend- the second payment in cash, they ants except for Money Mart, which would have to wait three years. In July had become Canada’s biggest pay- 2013, the couple walked into the local day lender. This was the first of at Money Mart. They argued for half an least 25 class actions the firm spear- hour, but came out with a cheque. headed. The basis of the suits was always the same: fees charged in ex- ON A FRIDAY NIGHT in March 2013, cess of the Criminal Code interest Tamara Vrooman, the president and limit of 60 per cent were illegal. CEO of Vancity, Canada’s largest com- Regulating the industry meant con- munity credit union, went undercover vincing the federal government to to a payday-loan store in Vancouver, alter the section of the Criminal Code prompted by internal research that

66 | 09 • 2015 | rd.ca  suggested 15 per cent of members eas, he notes—presumably “because were using the service. The visit made they have found these branches to be her realize how varied the industry’s marginally or not at all profitable.” clientele is, and she came to see the For its part, the Canadian Bank- demand for payday services as an ers Association (CBA) disputes the opportunity. Vancity designed a short- idea that low-income Canadians are term loan at interest rates akin to a underserved. All those who meet the credit card—in this case, a 19 per cent criteria can access cheaper credit APR. It would require a credit check options. But higher-risk cases often and income, but a member could pay don’t qualify—which may lead them it back over two to 24 months. to turn to payday lenders. “We are In March 2014, Vancity launched in the business of making loans to Fair & Fast, which offers sums between people who will pay them back,” says $100 and $2,500. In the program’s first CBA’s president, Terry Campbell. nine months, the credit union pro- When he lost his call-centre job in vided more than 700 loans, saving 2007, Collins’s life changed. Although clients an estimated $1 million in in- he had been with his bank for nearly 30 terest and fees that would otherwise years, he felt abandoned after he be- have gone to payday lenders. came unemployed. When we spoke in Efforts like these need to ramp early February of 2015, his tone was up, says Jerry Buckland, a profes- upbeat—until I asked about his plan to sor in Winnipeg and the author of be debt-free. He and Ferdinand had Hard Choices: Financial Exclusion, been able to pay Money Mart as hoped, Fringe Banks and Poverty in Urban but in January, their computer had Canada. Buckland believes main- crashed and they’d needed $100 for stream banks need to do more to repairs. With no other option, they had help the people who line up for pay- gone back to borrow more. “It wasn’t a day loans. A disproportionate num- big deal for us,” he said. “When we get ber of bank branches have closed our tax return in April, we’ll use that to in lower-income urban Canadian ar- pay them off, and that will be that.”

© 2015 BY CHRISTOPHER POLLON. THE WALRUS (JUNE 2015). THEWALRUS.CA

SHORT SUMMARY

In three words I can sum up everything I’ve learned about life: it goes on.

ROBERT FROST

rd.ca | 09 • 2015 | 67 Laughter THE BEST MEDICINE

ONE NIGHT, WHILE WE were out for supper at a Mediterranean res- taurant, my sister-in-law had a THE BEST JOKE question about one of the appetiz- I EVER TOLD BY CAROLYN TAYLOR ers. When the server showed up to take our order, she asked, “Where I think it’s time for me to cut back do you get your mussels?” on the therapy. The other day, The young waitress blushed, someone cut me off in traffic and looked sheepishly at her biceps and made a rude gesture. I leaned out quietly answered, “Cross-training?” the window and yelled, “Who are DAN GRABKE, Yellowknife you really angry at?” Watch Carolyn Taylor in the up- MY GRANDMOTHER started walk- coming all-female comedy Baron- ing five miles a day when she was ess von Sketch Show, airing on 60. She’s 97 now, and we don’t know CBC in the summer of 2016. where the hell she is. Comedian ELLEN DEGENERES

THE EASIEST TIME to add insult to injury is when you’re signing some- body’s cast. Comedian DEMETRI MARTIN

I ALWAYS BRING my wife morning tea in my pyjamas, but is she grateful? No. She says she’d rather have it in a cup. Comedian ERIC MORECAMBE

I KNEW I WAS destined to be a Do you find laughter therapeutic? Send us psychologist and not a magician an original joke, and it could mean a free when I pulled a habit out of a rat. year’s subscription for your household. reddit.com See page 9 or rd.ca/joke for details.

68 | 09 • 2015 | rd.ca HAVE SOME FUN . LAUGH A TON. d k bl dd l k l lk b d l

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Get laugh-all-you-want protection, with Always Discreet for sensitive bladders. Because hey, pee happens. For coupons and your free sample,† go to alwaysdiscreet.com.

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From lowering the radio volume to snacking on fish, the latest research on how to improve your ability to learn Know Better BY DANIELLE GROEN AND KATIE UNDERWOOD ILLUSTRATIONS BY SAM ISLAND

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ReadeR’s digest

“If you have neurons that are bigger, stronger and can make better connections to other neurons, they’re going to be able to do their job more effectively,” Raji says. Plenty of Chowing down on fish seafood is rich in omega­3s—you can pump up your brain can complement your salmon with Millenniums ago, humans were oysters, trout and even sardines. Fish doing pretty well for themselves, but may be the secret to heftier brains, but it’s when they settled around the variety remains the spice of life. basins of large rivers that civiliz­ ations really started to flourish. Think of ancient Egypt, Mesopota­ mia, the Indus Valley: “Humans got much smarter and more sophisti­ cated when they lived closer to riv­ ers,” says Dr. Cyrus Raji, a resident It’s possible to become a radiologist at UCLA. virtuoso at any age So it’s not entirely surprising If you dream of appearing onstage that in a 2014 study published in at Carnegie Hall but worry that the American Journal of Preventive a lack of childhood cello lessons Medicine, Raji and his colleagues has thwarted your musical ambi­ discovered consuming fish can ac­ tion, some good news: researchers tually enhance the physical size of at the University of Chicago have the brain. Examining 260 subjects determined that absolute, or “per­ in their late 70s with no cognitive fect,” pitch—the ability to identify defects, the researchers found that and reproduce a note after hearing the hippocampus—the learning it—may be learned into adulthood. centre of the brain—was 14 per It’s often assumed that early mu­ cent larger in those who ate baked sical training is necessary to encode or broiled fish on a weekly basis than notes or scales in our brains. But in those who did not. The omega­3 according to senior researcher How­ fatty acids contained in fish also ard Nusbaum, a psychology pro­ improved the performance of neur­ fessor at the University of Chicago, ons in the brain’s frontal lobe, an “We may not be so limited to these area that is crucial for executive narrow biological windows.” In fact, functions like short­term memory adults with a higher auditory working and task planning. memory (that is, an innate knack for

72 | 09 • 2015 | rd.ca  remembering sounds in general) recognizing the words on a page by significantly improved their ability sight—possibly meaning that the to recreate near-perfect notes dur- note you’re making will leave a last- ing simulations in Nusbaum’s lab. ing visual impression in your brain. This finding refutes earlier theories Writing “Pick up chicken breasts” that suggested perfect pitch is an on a paper grocery list also takes innate quality. “The most important longer than, say, tapping a chicken way to become a better musician at emoji on your smartphone, and that any age is to practise playing music,” time differential could have an effect Nusbaum says, “but having perfect on retention as well. Your Grade 3 pitch won’t hurt.” teacher may have been onto some- thing when she made you write lines.

Writing longhand trumps typing on a keyboard Even the hardest of hearts Though advances in technology can be taught how to melt have encouraged us to veer away In all likelihood, you’ve had a less- from such old-fashioned ana- than-pleasant encounter with log techniques, when it comes to a narcissist at some point. Notoriously absorbing new information, jotting selfish and vain, people with this things down by hand is markedly personality type are known for their more effective than pounding away inability to feel empathy. But there’s on a keyboard. hope for them yet! In 2014, research- According to findings published in ers at England’s University of Surrey the periodical Advances in Haptics and University of Southampton de- and co-authored by a researcher at veloped an encouraging workaround Norway’s University of Stavanger and for those who lacked compassion: a neurophysiologist from France’s encourage them to adopt the Aix-Marseille University, the physical perspective of the sufferer. act of writing—not typing—activates When lead researcher Erica Hep- both our brain’s sensorimotor and per and her colleagues showed language centres. That element subjects a video of a woman of motor memory is involved in describing her experiences of

rd.ca | 09 • 2015 | 73 ReadeR’s digest physical violence, watching alone played the war-themed Medal of failed to trigger an appropriate Honor: Rising Sun, but organizing a response. But when they prompted bunch of falling blocks seems more participants to put themselves in soothing than blasting bad guys away. the woman’s shoes, even those who scored as “high narcissists” expressed genuine concern and sympathy. So the next time a callous acquaintance refuses to see your side of things, take heart: it appears that, with a little guidance, even the A varied gait may help least tender among us can improve you relearn how to walk their empathetic abilities. After a traumatic brain injury, the smallest tasks, from feeding oneself to walking, can seem like Herculean endeavours. But certain findings suggest that a few simple steps—liter- ally—might help affected parties get back on their feet. Tetris can make you In a study from Baltimore’s Ken- a better driver nedy Krieger Institute and Johns Hop- In May 2013, a study out of Montreal’s kins University, subjects were asked to McGill University revealed that playing alternate their regular walking Tetris can improve the amount of infor- patterns with more complicated mation older adults could take in with- ones—by exercising on a split-belt out moving their eyes or heads (known treadmill. Participants who were as useful field of view, or UFOV). exposed to belts that alternated After six 90-minute sessions over between moving at the same speed three weeks, participants improved and different speeds were able to their UFOV and quickened selective resume their movements more easily attention (the ability to focus on one than counterparts whose belts con- piece of information in a larger field sistently moved at different speeds. of data) by nearly 72 milliseconds. So if you find yourself in a situation That’s a nice boost, since improved where you’re trying to relearn basic UFOV has been associated with movements, the key may lie in random better task performance—especially alternation. This information should behind the wheel. Researchers saw be a boon to those engaged in post- similar results after participants traumatic physical rehab.

74 | 09 • 2015 | rd.ca 

WENDY SUZUKI ON HOW EXERCISE CAN BOOST OUR BRAINS

1. The hippocampus is critical for learning new concepts; it’s also Ditching cigarettes can one of only two brain structures mend brain matter where shiny new neurons are born Add this to the laundry list of in adulthood. Aerobic exercise not reasons smoking is terrible for your only stimulates the burst of new health: the habit can affect the brain cells, but more neurons part of the brain that’s crucial for survive when you exercise. conscious learning. In a major study 2. The hippocampus has also been released in February 2015 by Scot- implicated in imagination. When land’s University of Edinburgh and you strengthen that structure the Montreal Neurological Institute through exercise, you enhance at McGill University, researchers a core component in the act of creativity. You start thinking analyzed recent MRI brain scans of outside the box more. more than 500 subjects, all of whom had been examined as children in 3. Increased exercise improves our 1947. They discovered that smokers attention. If you can’t focus, you had a demonstrably thinner brain may not be able to remember how to perform a new skill. cortex than those who had refrained from lighting up. 4. You don’t need to be a triath- “The cortex is involved in every- lete. In some subjects, eight weeks thing that requires higher-order of moderate exercise twice a week cognition: attention, mathemati- was enough to elevate mood and cal reasoning, logical reasoning, activate their brains. our capacity to juggle a lot of con- 5. You can broaden your notion of cepts at once,” says lead researcher what constitutes exercise. Walking Sherif Karama, assistant professor up the street is aerobic. Dancing of psychiatry at McGill. “[In old to your favourite song is aerobic. age,] smokers end up with a lower If you really want to be practical, speed housework is a great work- level of cognitive abilities than non- out, and you’ll be done faster. smokers, even when you account for initial IQ.” Wendy Suzuki teaches at New York But not all is lost: if a person University and is the author of ditches the cigarettes, the cortex Healthy Brain, Happy Life. can begin to repair itself. “For every

rd.ca | 09 • 2015 | 75 REAdER’S dIgEST

JEOPARDY! WHIZ 7,000 cigarettes you smoke—that’s ARTHUR CHU’S TOP FIVE roughly one pack a day for a year— MEMORY TRICKS you need to have stopped smoking for almost a year for that area to 1. Practise tasks in an environment recover,” Karama says. “But if people that’s as similar to the real situation quit for long enough, their cortex as possible. (If you play along with Jeopardy!, stand up, have a buzzer does appear to come back to where in your hand and wait until the end it should be for their age.” of the clue to answer.)

2. Mnemonic devices are helpful in cementing memory, though it’s ideal to practise enough that you no longer have to rely on them.

3. If you’ve memorized things in a Getting caffeinated may certain order or structure—like a boost long-term memory list—switching that up can improve your recall. Mainlining espresso will keep you very alert, but recent research 4. Strong mental images can help suggests that it’ll also help your long- cement information in your head. term memory. In 2014, scientists Whenever I need to remember the from Johns Hopkins University pub- name of someone I’ve just met, for lished the results of a test in which example, I make up a dirty joke in my head involving their name to participants were given either a ensure I’ll remember it the next placebo or 200 milligrams of caffeine— time around. about as much as one strong cup of coffee—once they finished studying a 5. Rituals and habits—like tying a tie series of pictures. The next day, after and driving a car—stick in our brains much better than facts. If a pattern being shown more photos, the caf- of behaviour becomes automatic, feinated group fared much better than you can rely on your reflexive ac- their non-jittery peers at recognizing tions much more than if it’s some- details that were similar (but not thing you have to think about. identical) to the old series. That skill—known as pattern sep- Arthur Chu, an American culture writer, appeared on Jeopardy! in aration—suggests “a deeper level of 2014. He won nearly $400,000 in memory retention,” researchers said. total and was known for his haphaz- So the moment you learn something ard method of question selection. new, consider making a beeline for Tim Hortons.

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“The visual word-form area does not care how the word sounds, just how the letters of the word look together,” he says. The take-away: rather than spending time sounding out various Mental photographs syllables, it may make more sense could cement new words to take a mental photograph as you Conventional wisdom (and Hooked find out the meaning of your newly on Phonics) suggests that the best acquired noun, adjective or verb. way for reluctant readers to improve their skills is to phonetically spell out smaller segments of what’s on the page. But according to a study pub- lished in The Journal of Neuroscience earlier this year, the key to how our brains absorb new words may be Turning down the radio purely visual. can turn up your recall Researchers at the Georgetown Uni- Kids today may be able to simultan- versity Medical Center in Washington, eously text, update Facebook, post pho- D.C., worked with 25 people who were tos on Instagram and talk to friends in shown a collection of 150 meaning- person, but older adults pay big time less groupings of letters and asked to for multi-tasking in ambient noise. commit them to memory. Initially, A recent study out of the Georgia participants responded to the gibber- Institute of Technology demonstrated ish as, well, gibberish. But using fMRI the dulling effects of blaring music on scans, the scientists discovered that our recall—senior-citizen participants after subjects spent time learning the remembered 10 per cent fewer names information, the area of their brains when prompted with faces by scien- that corresponds to visual word forms tists. Our associative memory already became activated—they began inter- tends to decline with age, but throw preting the “words” as though they some background beats into the mix were words. and our brains get seriously muddled. In a statement released by George- Though classical music and smooth town University, Maximilian Ries- jazz may help you relax while enhuber, the senior author of the reading, they’re not going to make study, suggests that this information things any easier when you’re trying to may mean humans respond less to remember whether your sister’s phonemes than to actual shapes. brother-in-law is Brent or Bruce.

rd.ca | 09 • 2015 | 77 DRAMA IN REAL LIFE

When the Tsonas family boarded a Greek ferry for a vacation, they never dreamt they would end up fighting for their lives SHIP

DOWNBY KATHERINE LAIDLAW PHOTOGRAPHY BY JANET REIDMAN

78 | 09 • 2015 | rd.ca Natasa Tsonas, at home on Corfu, is haunted by her ill-fated voyage at sea. ReadeR’s digest

I HAVE TO SAVE MY FAMILY! The thought looped around and around as Natasa Tsonas stared at the burning wreckage. She stared at her two sons, Dimitri, 14, and Sempastian, 11, who were shocked into silence; she stared at the panic on her husband Nassos’s face. But she couldn’t breathe, couldn’t shake the feeling that she was being choked. And she couldn’t move, either. Frozen, Natasa stood on the upper deck of the ship she’d boarded four hours earlier and braced for an explosion.

It was pitch-black on the top level families on Corfu once she turned 17. of the Norman Atlantic, the kind of It was during her fourth sojourn on middle-of-the-night darkness where the Greek island that she met Nassos it’s impossible to make out anything Tsonas. She initially brushed off his more than a metre away. All black, advances, but his persistence eventu- save for the balls of fire blasted across ally won her over (it didn’t hurt that he the sky by the cold wind. Flames was tall, dark and handsome). When rained down around Natasa, her fam- Natasa returned the next year, they ily and the hundreds of people who became a couple, and her departure were screaming, crying and shoving at the end of that summer was painful. their way to the top of the ship—and, Within nine months, Natasa had they hoped, to safety. Natasa recalled mapped out a different future for the movie Titanic, in which children herself. She would leave school— were rescued first and adults were she was in her final year of an governed by principles, even when international relations degree at the faced with death. But that night— University of Toronto—and move to December 28, 2014—she saw only Greece to be with Nassos. It sounded chaos. The car ferry transporting her crazy, even to her, but it felt right. family from Igoumenitsa, Greece, Natasa expected her parents to to Ancona, Italy, was burning up in lock her in her room; instead, her the middle of the Adriatic Sea with mother said, “If this is what’s go- 499 people on board, and it was ing to make you happy, go and try utter pandemonium. it.” Two weeks after that, she was on a plane back to the island. THOUGH NATASA WAS BORN and Twenty-one years later, the couple raised in Toronto, she began spend- and their two sons were climbing ing summers visiting friends and their aboard an Anek Lines ferry bound

80 | 09 • 2015 | rd.ca 

En route to Italy in December 2014, the Norman Atlantic went up in flames.

for Italy, just after midnight. The away had seemed more enticing. Nas- crossing was familiar—the Tsonases sos had suggested travelling to Baden- make the trip each year to meet with Baden, in Germany, where they’d be suppliers or pick up inventory for the able to swim in hot springs and relax at leather-clothing store they co-own. a spa. So they’d take the ferry to Ancona They had sprung for the pricier of the and from there, fly to Baden-Baden. two ship lines that travel from Corfu, Shortly after boarding, the group spending 800 euros for a family cabin tucked in for the night. Four hours and to store their car below deck, later, at 5:30 a.m., Nassos and Na- but were switched to the Norman tasa were awoken by a vague an- Atlantic, a lesser vessel. nouncement over the ship’s speakers. The Tsonases had planned the trip When Nassos stepped into the hall- after much consideration. The previous way to see what was going on, fel- month, at home on Corfu, Natasa’s best low passengers alerted him to the friend had died of cancer. Mourning the fire. He rushed back to tell his wife. loss, Natasa and Nassos hadn’t made “Natasa, we’re going outside,” he any plans for their boys’ Christmas va- said. She brushed it off: “If it was any- cation. In the past, they’d used those thing serious, we would have been two weeks to take holidays abroad, but told.” But Nassos insisted, so Natasa this year they couldn’t muster the en- woke up their sons. At the last min- ergy to plan an elaborate trip. Still, as ute, she decided to grab her purse.

ITALIAN NAVY/HANDOUT the break drew closer, the idea of getting “If Mom’s going to save anything, it’s

rd.ca | 09 • 2015 | 81 ReadeR’s digest going to be her cigarettes,” Sempas- Nassos pulled their sons into a hug tian joked. It was also where she kept and told them they loved them. the family’s passports. From where they stood, the The smell of smoke filled the Tsonases could see a single lifeboat corridor outside their cabin, and the and a long line of passengers waiting family was swept up in the melee— to jump on board. Natasa watched, hundreds of people were moving horrified, as a woman ran for the toward the ferry’s upper deck. “Let’s boat, lost her footing and plum- go to the top of the ship, so at least if meted off the edge, into the churn- it goes down, we’ll be able to swim,” ing sea. Suddenly, flames shot up Nassos said. through two holes in the top deck. The queue scattered and more than 50 people broke away, running from the fire and straight toward them. THE LIFEBOAT WAS “We’re going to get trampled!” Natasa MEANT TO BE THEIR screamed. “Move back!” ROUTE TO SAFETY, Once the horde had passed, BUT THEY WEREN’T Nassos saw an opening. He grabbed SURE THEY’D MAKE his wife and sons, pulled them IT OUT ALIVE. through the flames and sent them over the railing onto the small orange lifeboat—their one shot at getting off It was then that the severity of the ship. Minutes later, the vessel their situation finally registered: was full and heading into the water they were on a boat in the middle to fend for itself. The family had put of a wild sea in the dead of night, their lives in the hands of strangers and that boat was on fire. “I’m call- whose faces they couldn’t even make ing my parents,” Nassos said to his out in the darkness. wife. “You’re going to make them sick,” Natasa replied. Her husband NATASA LIFTED HER HEAD from looked at her. “It might be the last between her knees and wiped her phone call I ever make.” Their sons, mouth. The lifeboat bucked, send- wide-eyed and tearful, overheard ing a violent jolt through the peo- his quiet words. “Mom, what can we ple who sat hip to hip on its metal do?” Dimitri asked softly. Pray, she benches. Partially sheltered by said, reminding them of Saint Spyri- a plastic cover from the furious don, the patron saint of Corfu and swells, passengers threw up as the performer of miracles. Natasa and boat lurched through the night.

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It was still so dark that Natasa couldn’t the cargo ship. After the vessels were see past Sempastian, huddled across tied together, the Piraeus dropped a the aisle less than a metre away. She long, narrow rope ladder. A few men was wedged in between Nassos and had begun the slow haul up, swinging Dimitri, vomit puddled around their precariously in the wind, when the feet. No one spoke. lines tying the lifeboat to its rescuer The sky began to brighten shortly snapped, sending the smaller craft after 7 a.m., an hour or so after the further back into the waves and per- lifeboat had been lowered into the ilously close to the ship’s propeller. water. For two more hours, the small craft rose and fell, jerking so wildly that Natasa felt like she was on a roller coaster without a restraining THE TSONASES device—but with both a stomach STRIPPED OFF THEIR flu and a hangover, multiplied by CLOTHES AND 100. Her legs soon became webbed HUDDLED TOGETHER, with cuts from banging against the WRAPPED ONLY IN benches. Lightning cracked and TOWELS AND SHEETS. water sloshed around, soaking the travellers. This was meant to be their route to safety, but in that moment, Once the boat was resecured they weren’t sure they would make it with new ropes, it was the Tsonases’ off the sea alive. turn. Natasa knew she had to send “There’s a boat! We’re going to be her sons up the ladder—to safety saved!” a fellow passenger yelled or to die. Dimitri would go first, in at around 9:30 a.m. Natasa looked case one of his parents needed to around, taking note of a bearded assist him. As Natasa watched Dimitri Georgian priest sitting near her climb the ladder, one slippery rung at family. The lifeboat soon knocked a time, she thought, for the first time, against the side of the Spirit of that maybe they were at the end of Piraeus, a freight ship from Singa- their ordeal. The teenager made the pore that had answered the Norman climb, a three-minute feat that, for Atlantic’s distress call. his parents, felt like forever. Natasa Within minutes, men aboard the followed, and then Sempastian. For freighter tossed down spools of thick Nassos, watching his younger son black rope to the lifeboat below, ascend was agonizing. “If he didn’t where crew members and passengers succeed, I was ready to jump after used the cords to secure their craft to him, to do whatever I could.” Not long

rd.ca | 09 • 2015 | 83

 herself, overwhelmed when her hus- As the months march forward, band had completed the treacherous it gets a bit easier for the family to climb up the rope ladder, and she leave home. “I always thought trav- didn’t want anyone to know. elling by ship was the safest way, That night, exhausted after hours but it’s not that simple,” says Na- spent providing statements to the tasa. “Someone told me ships aren’t police, Natasa and 30 or so survivors required to have enough places in a climbed aboard a bus to the airport. lifeboat for the number of passen- The Tsonases stayed overnight in gers. If that’s the case, I’ve been lying Athens before returning to Corfu. to myself all this time.” As for Nassos, After Natasa and her family there’s not a day that he doesn’t think finally arrived home, she worried most about that night. about her sensitive eldest son, Dimi- tri. But it was Sempastian who was It is estimated that up to 27 people afraid to leave the house in the weeks died on December 28, 2014. Among that followed. He was terrified to go to them was Ilia Kartozia, the Georgian school, to go anywhere. In February priest who had been sitting near the 2015, two months after the sinking of Tsonases on the lifeboat: he had the Norman Atlantic, the family was slipped while climbing the ladder to booked on a ferry trip. But the night the Spirit of Piraeus and had fallen to before they were to leave, Nassos pan- his death. More than 400 others were icked: the sky was an ominous grey rescued in an international offshore and the water was rough. The family operation that involved Italian and wasn’t going anywhere. Greek ships and helicopters. While the The next month, Natasa, Nassos official manifest listed 478 passengers, and their sons walked onto a ferry— the prosecutor investigating the tra­ Dimitri had to write exams in Ioan- gedy later said it was possible nearly nina, a city on the mainland. They sat 500 people had been on board. At least white-knuckled as two hours ticked 16 passengers remain missing, and the by. The voyage went smoothly. cause of the fire is still unknown.

COUNT YOUR BLESSINGS

Until I feared I would lose it, I never loved to read. One does not love breathing.

HARPER LEE

rd.ca | 09 • 2015 | 85

HUMOUR

How David Sedaris walked past Fitbit fascination into gadget- induced exercise fanaticism

The Endless

FROM THE NEW YORKER StepsILLUSTRATIONS BY GRAHAM ROUMIEU

rd.ca | 09 • 2015 | 87 ReadeR’s digest

I WAS AT AN Italian restaurant, listening as a woman named Lesley talked about her housekeeper, an immigrant who earlier that day had cleaned the bathroom countertops with a bottle of very expensive acne medication: “She’s afraid of the vacuum cleaner and can’t read or write a word of English, but other than that, she’s marvellous,” she said as our antipasto plate arrived.

Lesley pushed back her shirt accept a package or give them direc- sleeve, and as she reached for an ol- tions or just listen patiently as they ive, I noticed a rubber bracelet on her talk about birds, which happens from left wrist. “Is that a watch?” I asked. time to time when I’m home. “No,” she told me. “It’s a Fitbit. You I was travelling when I got my Fit- sync it with your computer, and it bit, and because the tingle feels so tracks your physical activity.” good, not just as a sensation but also I leaned closer, and as she tapped as a mark of accomplishment, I began the thickest part of it, a number of pacing the airport rather than doing glowing dots rose to the surface and what I normally do, which is sit in danced back and forth. “It’s like a the waiting area, wondering which of pedometer,” she continued. “But up- the many people around me will die dated, and better. The goal is to take first and of what. I also started taking 10,000 steps a day, and once you do, the stairs instead of the escalator and it vibrates.” avoiding the moving sidewalk. I forked some salami into my “Every little bit helps,” my old mouth. “Hard?” friend Dawn, who frequently eats “No,” she said. “It’s just a tingle.” lunch while hula hooping, said. She A few weeks later, I bought a Fit- has a Fitbit, as well, and swears by it. bit of my own and discovered what To people like Dawn and me, who are she was talking about. Ten thousand obsessive to begin with, the Fitbit is a steps, I learned, amounts to a little digital trainer, perpetually egging us more than 6.5 kilometres for some- on. During the first few weeks I had one my size—five feet five inches. It it, I’d return to my hotel at the end sounds like a lot, but you can cover of the day, and when I discovered I’d that distance in the course of an taken a total of, say, 12,000 steps, I’d average day without even trying, go out for another 3,000. especially if you have stairs in your “But why?” my partner, Hugh, house and a steady flow of people asked when I told him about it. “Why who regularly knock, wanting you to isn’t 12,000 enough?”

88 | 09 • 2015 | rd.ca 

“Because,” I told him, “my Fitbit “Really?” I said to her. “You can’t thinks I can do better.” go five minutes without eating?” Fitbit also helps satisfy my insane Around her were other cows, all of need for order. I’ve been cleaning the which seemed blind to her condition. roads in my area for three years now, “Do you think she knows there’s a but before the Fitbit, I did it primarily baby at the end of this?” I asked Maja on my bike and with my bare hands. after she’d returned. “A woman is told That was fairly effective, but I wound what’s going to happen in the deliv- up missing a lot. On foot, nothing ery room, but how does an animal escapes my attention: a potato chip interpret this pain?” bag stuffed into the hollow of a tree, an I thought of the first time I had a elderly mitten caught in kidney stone. That was the embrace of a black- in New York in 1991, berry bush, a mud- back when I had no coated matchbook at “BUT WHY ISN’T money or health insur- the bottom of a ditch. 12,000 STEPS A ance. All I knew was You can tell where my DAY ENOUGH?” that I was hurting and territory ends and the MY PARTNER couldn’t afford to do rest of the nation begins. ASKED. anything about it. The Since getting my Fit- BECAUSE MY night was spent moan- bit, I’ve seen all kinds of FITBIT THINKS ing, then I peed blood, things I wouldn’t nor- followed by what looked mally have come across. I CAN DO like a piece of gravel Once, it was a toffee- BETTER. from an aquarium. coloured cow with two What might I have feet sticking out of her. I thought if, after seven was rambling that afternoon with my hours of unrelenting agony, a crea- friend Maja, and as she ran to inform ture the size of a full-grown cougar the farmer, I marched in place, envi- emerged, inch by inch, and started ous of the extra steps she was getting hassling me for food? Was that what in. Given all the time I’ve spent in the the cow was going through? Did she country, you’d think I might have seen think she was dying or had instinct a calf being born, but this was a first somehow prepared her for this? for me. The biggest surprise was how When I returned to the field several unfazed the expectant mother was. For weeks later, I saw mother and child a while, she lay flat on the grass, pant- standing side by side, not in the lov- ing. Then she got up and began graz- ing way I had imagined but more like ing, still with those feet sticking out. strangers waiting for the post office

rd.ca | 09 • 2015 | 89 ReAdeR’s dIgest to open. Other animals I’ve seen on I LOOK BACK ON the days I averaged my walks are foxes and rabbits. I’ve only 30,000 steps and think, Honestly, stumbled upon deer, stoats, a hedge- how lazy can you get? Now I’m up to hog and more pheasants than I could 60,000, which is 41 kilometres. Walk- possibly count. ing that distance at the age of 57, with Back when Maja and I saw the completely flat feet while lugging a cow, I was averaging 25,000 steps, or heavy bag of garbage, takes close to around 17 kilometres, a day. Trousers nine hours—a big block of time, but that had grown too snug were sud- hardly wasted. I listen to audiobooks denly loose again, and I noticed my and podcasts. I talk to people. I learn face was looking a lot things: the fact, for ex- thinner. Then I upped ample, that in the days it to 30,000 steps and of yore, peppercorns started moving further WHY IS IT SOME were sold individually, afield in the English PEOPLE CAN and, because they were countryside. “We saw MANAGE A so valuable, to guard David in Arundel pick- FITBIT, WHILE against theft, the people ing up a dead squirrel OTHERS GO who packed them had with his grabbers,” the OFF THE RAILS to have their pockets neighbours told Hugh. AND ALLOW sewn shut. “We saw him outside At the end of my first Steyning rolling a tire IT TO RULE 60,000-step day, I stag- down the side of the THEIR LIVES? gered home with my road”; “… in Pulbor- flashlight, knowing I’d ough dislodging a pair advance to 65,000 and of Y-fronts from a tree branch.” there would be no end to it until my Before the Fitbit, I was in for the feet snap off at the ankles. Then it’ll evening after dinner. Now, though, as just be my jagged bones stabbing into soon as I’m finished with the dishes, I the soft ground. Why is it some peo- walk to the pub and back, a distance ple can manage a thing like a Fitbit, of 3,895 steps. There are no street while others go off the rails and al- lights where we live, and the houses low it to rule, and perhaps even ruin, I pass at 11 p.m. are either dark or their lives? dimly lit. I often hear owls and the While marching along the road- flapping of woodcocks disturbed by side, I often think of a TV show I the beam of my flashlight. watched a few years back—Obsessed,

COPYRIGHT © 2014 BY DAVID SEDARIS. THE NEW YORKER (JUNE 30, 2014), NEWYORKER.COM

90 | 09 • 2015 | rd.ca  it was called. One of the episodes was devoted to a woman who owned two treadmills and walked like a hamster on a wheel from the moment she got up until she went to bed. Her family would eat dinner, and she’d observe them from her vantage point beside the table, panting as she asked her children about their day. I knew I was supposed to scoff at this woman, to be, at the very least, entertainingly disgusted, the way I am with the people on Hoarders, but instead I saw something of myself in her. Of course, she did her walking on a treadmill, Walking 40 kilometres, or even run- where it served no greater purpose. ning up the stairs and back, suddenly So it’s not like we’re really that much seemed pointless, since, without the alike. Is it? steps being counted and registered, In recognition of all the rubbish what use were they? I lasted five hours I’ve collected since getting my Fitbit, before I ordered a replacement, ex- my local council named a garbage press delivery. It arrived the following truck after me. afternoon, and my hands shook as I Then my Fitbit died. I was devas- tore open the box. Ten minutes later, tated when I tapped it and the little my new master strapped securely dots failed to appear. Yet I felt a great around my left wrist, I was out the sense of freedom. It seemed my life door, racing, practically running, to was now my own again. But was it? make up for lost time.

IT’S YOUR MOVE Self-pity will fulfill all the prophecies it makes and leave only itself.

STEPHEN FRY

Even if you’re on the right track, you’ll get run over if you just sit there.

WILL ROGERS

rd.ca | 09 • 2015 | 91 @ Work

“Looks like we’ve been bumped from the financials to the obituaries.”

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Police have interrogated Toronto writer Desmond Cole more than 50 times— all because of the colour of his skin RACE UNDER

FIREFROM TORONTO LIFE

rd.ca | 09 • 2015 | 95 ReadeR’s digest

he summer I was nine, I was born in Red Deer, Alta., and my teenage cousin Sana we moved to Oshawa soon after. came from England Throughout my childhood, my par- to visit my family in ents were constantly lecturing me Oshawa, Ont. He was about respecting authority, work- tall, handsome and obnoxious, the ing hard and preserving our family’s kindT of guy who could palm a bas- good name. They made it clear that, ketball like Michael Jordan. I was although I was the same as my white his shadow during his stay, totally peers, I would have to try harder in awe of his confidence. and achieve more just to keep up. One day, we took a road trip to Niag- I wanted to ignore what they said ara Falls. Just past St. Catharines, Sana about my race, mostly because it tossed a dirty tissue out the window. seemed too cruel to be true. Within seconds, we heard a siren. A In high school, I graduated valedic- hush came over the car as a police of- torian of my class. In 2001, I earned ficer strode up and asked my dad if he admission to Queen’s University in knew why we’d been stopped. “Yes,” Kingston, Ont. I was enticed by the my father answered, his voice shaky. scenic campus—it looked exactly like My dad isn’t a big man, but he always the universities I’d seen in movies. cut an imposing figure in our house- When I told my older sister, who was hold. This was the first time I realized studying sociology at Western Univer- he could be afraid of something. sity in London, Ont., she furrowed her “He’s going to pick it up right now,” brow. “It’s so white,” she bristled. That he assured the officer, as Sana exited didn’t matter much to me. I wasn’t the vehicle. The cop seemed casually going to let my race dictate my future. uninterested, but everyone in the car At Queen’s, I was one of about 80 thrummed with tension. After Sana black undergrads out of 15,500. In returned, the officer let us go. When second year, when I moved into the we drove off, my father finally ex- student village, I started noticing ploded. “You realize everyone in this cops following me in my car. At first I car is black, right?” he thundered at thought I was being paranoid. I tried Sana. “Yes, Uncle,” Sana whispered, different routes, but no matter which his head lowered. That afternoon, one I took, there was usually a police my commanding father and cocky cruiser in my rear-view mirror. cousin had trembled in fear over a I had my first face-to-face interac- discarded Kleenex. tion with the Kingston police a few My parents immigrated to Canada months into second year, when I from Sierra Leone in the mid-1970s. was walking my friend Sara, a white

96 | 09 • 2015 | rd.ca  woman, home after a party. An officer “There’s been some suspicious ac- stopped us, then turned his back to me tivity in the area,” he said, shrugging. and addressed Sara directly. “Miss, do Then he said I could go. you need assistance?” he asked. Sara When I was 22, I moved to Toronto. was stunned. “No,” she said twice— There, I thought I could escape bigotry once to the officer and once to reas- and profiling and just blend into the sure herself that everything was all crowd. I saw diversity in the streets, in right. The fact that my mere presence shops, on public transit. The idea that could cause an armed stranger to feel I might be singled out because of my threatened on Sara’s behalf shocked race seemed ludicrous. My illusions me at first, but shock quickly gave way were shattered immediately. to bitterness and anger. The cops stopped me anywhere MY SKIN IS THE DEEP BROWN of a they saw me, particularly at night. well-worn penny. My eyes are the Once, as I was walking through the same shade as my complexion, but

ON A GOOD DAY, I LIKE THE WAY I LOOK. AT OTHER TIMES, WHEN PEOPLE POINT OUT HOW DARK I AM, I WANT TO DISAPPEAR. laneway behind my neighbour- they light up amber in the sun. On hood pizza parlour, two officers ap- a good day, I like the way I look. At proached. “Don’t move,” I whispered other times, particularly when peo- to myself, struggling to stay calm. ple point out how dark I am, I want When they asked me for identifica- to disappear. When I walk down the tion, I told them it was in my pocket street, I imagine that strangers view before daring to reach for my wal- me with suspicion and fear. This let. If they thought I had a weapon, phenomenon is what the African- I was convinced that I’d end up be- American writer and activist W. E. B. ing beaten, or worse. When one of Du Bois described as “double con- them—a white man who didn’t look sciousness”: how blacks experience much older than me—returned my reality through their own eyes and identification, I summoned the cour- through the eyes of a society that age to ask why he was doing this. prejudges them.

rd.ca | 09 • 2015 | 97 ReadeR’s digest

Some view Toronto as a multi- demand identification and catalogue cultural utopia where the colour of our race, height, weight and eye col- your skin has no bearing on your our. The police have never provided prospects. That kind of thinking is any evidence to show how carding ridiculously naive in a city and coun- reduces or solves crime. They’ve try where racism contributes to a self- also failed to justify carding’s exces- perpetuating cycle of criminalization sive focus on black men. The To- and imprisonment. Areas where ronto Star crunched the numbers black people live are heavily policed and found that in 2013, up to 27 per in the name of crime prevention. We cent of people carded were black. At account for 9.3 per cent of Canadian that time, I was 17 times more likely prisoners, even though we only make than a white person to be carded in up 2.9 per cent of the populace at Toronto’s downtown core. large. Black people are also more fre- In April of this year, the TPS quently placed in maximum-security revamped their carding policy,

WHEN I ARRIVED IN TORONTO IN 2004, I SIMPLY WANTED TO ESCAPE MY SUBURB AND THE BIGOTRY I’D FACED IN KINGSTON. institutions, even if the justice sys- announcing that they’d rebranded the tem rates us as low-risk to reoffend: cards as “community engagement re- between 2009 and 2013, 15 per cent ports,” implemented a plan for racial of black male inmates were assigned sensitivity training and eliminated to maximum-security, compared to carding quotas for officers. But when 10 per cent of inmates overall. you look at the fine print, little has About a decade ago, the Toronto changed. Under their new procedures, Police Service (TPS) established police do not have to inform civilians carding, a controversial practice that that a carding interaction is voluntary, disproportionately targets young that they can walk away at any time black men. According to police par- or even why they are being stopped. lance, it’s a voluntary interaction Worst of all, the top-secret database with people who are not suspected of where police have been storing this a crime. Cops stop us on the street, information will still be used.

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Toronto mayor John Tory, who represents one vote on the seven-member Toronto Police Services Board, vowed in early June to fight for an end to police carding. Tory was a stubborn defender of the practice mere days before he reversed his position and came out against it. Those of us who want carding to end are looking for actions to back up the mayor’s words.

I HAVE BEEN STOPPED, if not always carded, at least 50 times by the police in To- ronto, Kingston and across southern Ontario. By now, at age 33, I expect it could hap- pen in any neighbourhood, day or night, whether I am alone or with friends. These interac- “How are you doing this evening?” tions don’t scare me anymore. They one of the two officers asked from the make me angry. car. “I’m okay,” I replied, trying to stay When I arrived in Toronto in 2004, calm. “What are you doing?” the offi- I simply wanted to escape my sub- cer continued. “Walking,” I said. When urban hometown and the bigotry he asked me if I lived around there, I I’d faced in Kingston. For the first replied that I didn’t have to disclose few months, I crashed at a friend’s. I that information. My mouth was dry didn’t have much money, so I spent and my heart was racing—I didn’t a lot of time wandering downtown, usually refuse police requests during marvelling at the diversity I saw. I was confrontations. “Could you tell me enjoying an anonymity I had never what street we’re on right now?” the experienced. One night, I set out, cop asked. I was quaking with rage. journal in hand, to find somewhere “Anyone can tell you that,” I shot back, to write. Less than a minute into my trying not to raise my voice. “There’s a

MARKIAN LOZOWCHUK stroll, a police cruiser stopped me. street sign right in front of you.”

rd.ca | 09 • 2015 | 99 ReadeR’s digest

My parents would have been table, to make sure no one accuses furious—they’d taught me to politely me of skipping out on the bill. If the answer any questions I was asked. cops approach, I immediately ask if But I’d lost patience. I demanded I am being detained. My eyes follow to know why I was being stopped. every police car that passes me. It has “We’ve had some break and enters become a matter of survival in a city in this area recently,” the officer where, despite all the talk of harmo- replied. “Well, unless you think I’m nious multiculturalism, I continue to the culprit, I have the right to walk stand out. in peace.” The officer seemed taken aback. He quickly wished me good I WAS CARDED FOR the first time in night, and they drove off. I was so 2007. I was walking my bike steps shaken I could have sat down and from my apartment when a police cried, but I realized the street I was officer approached me. “It’s illegal

I WOULD MUCH RATHER WRITE ABOUT SPORTS OR MUSIC THAN CARDING. BUT I TALK ABOUT RACE TO SURVIVE. living on was no longer a safe place to ride your bike on the sidewalk,” to stand at night. he said. “I know, officer, that’s why I have come to accept that some I’m walking it,” I replied. Then the people will respond to me with fear cop asked me for ID. After sitting or suspicion, no matter how irration al at the computer inside his car for it may seem. After years of needless a few minutes, the officer returned scrutiny, I’ve developed habits to and said, “Okay, you’re all set.” I still check my own behaviour. I no longer don’t know what he saw when he ran walk through upscale stores like Holt my name. Over the next seven years, Renfrew because over-attentive em- I was carded at least a dozen times. ployees usually tail me. If I’m paying Another afternoon, as I smoked a cash at a restaurant, I will hand it to cigarette outside a community centre the server instead of leaving it on the in the city’s west end, a policeman

© 2015 BY DESMOND COLE. TORONTO LIFE (JUNE 2015). TORONTOLIFE.COM

100 | 09 • 2015 | rd.ca  sat in his car, glaring at me and race for attention or personal gain. scribbling notes. After five minutes, I I would much rather write about walked over. “Is there a problem, of- sports or theatre or music than ficer?” I asked. The cop, a 30-some- carding and incarceration. But I talk thing white guy, asked, “Oh, are you about race to survive. lost? You look like you’re lost.” His Last winter, I asked the cops if I could response was so ridiculous I almost look at my file. I was furious when they laughed, but instead I just repeated told me the only way I could see that that I was fine. After a brief pause, the information was to submit a Freedom officer replied, “Really? ’Cause you of Information (FOI) request. Each seemed lost.” I had to remind myself one can take months to process. One that I wasn’t going crazy. Whether it of my friends, a law student at Toron- was motivated by ignorance, train- to’s Osgoode Hall, had his FOI request ing, police culture or something else, approved in March 2013, and he is still the officer’s behaviour sent a clear waiting on some information. When message: I didn’t belong. he saw his file, he learned that over the years cops had labelled him as “Jamai- WHEN I WAS A BOY in Oshawa, my can,” “Brown East African” and “Black parents always greeted black stran- North African.” They said he was “not gers we passed on the street. As an police-friendly,” and that he believed adult, I have taken up this ritual in he was being racially profiled. Toronto—it’s an acknowledgement I have no idea what I’ll find in my of a shared (if unwanted) experience. file. All I can say for certain is that After years of being stopped by over the years, I’ve become known to police, I’ve started to internalize police. That shorthand has always their scrutiny. I’ve doubted myself, troubled me—too many black men wondered if I’ve done something to are “known” through a foggy lens of provoke them. It’s exhausting to have suspicion we’ve done nothing to to justify your freedoms in a suppos- earn. Maybe if they really got to know edly free society. I don’t talk about us, they’d treat us differently.

ACROSS THE UNIVERSE

For small creatures such as we, the vastness is bearable only through love.

CARL SAGAN

rd.ca | 09 • 2015 | 101 HEALTH

Seven ways to boost your well-being in the bedroom

MORE THAN A PLACE TO SLEEP BY JACQUELYN MITCHARD ADDITIONAL REPORTING BY DANIEL VIOLA FROM AARP THE MAGAZINE ILLUSTRATION BY TOM FROESE

COMMON SENSE DICTATES there While steering clear of these things are things you should avoid doing may be best, the room where you in the bedroom. Devouring takeout sleep can serve as more than just a ha- instead of eating a proper dinner, for ven of intimacy and solace. It can also example, or using the space as an be the staging ground for effortless office (with glowing computers and practices that help build a healthier, chiming phones), or watching a hor- sweeter life. Here, seven ways to get a ror movie before trying to doze off. boost inside your bedroom.

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READER’S D IGEST

STRETCH WHEN YOU WAKE don’t let every new freckle or bump Start your day right by loosening up. create panic. If the area isn’t caus- Sleeping in one position all night can ing immediate distress and there’s reduce circulation, which may cause no personal or family history of skin aches, pains and kinks, especially as cancer, wait a few weeks and see if it you age. Stretching—tailoring move- goes away, says Barankin. ments to target problem areas, such as the feet, legs or back—can get that DO YOUR DUSTING blood moving and leave you feel- Chores may be boring, but reduc- ing rejuvenated. But don’t be too ing the amount of dirt in your space aggressive. “The less warmed up you can benefit your health in a big way. are, the lighter the stretching has to According to Dr. Darryl Zeldin, scien- be,” says Toronto personal trainer tific director of the National Institute Kathleen Trotter. And don’t feel the of Environmental Health Sciences need to complete a full yoga routine in North Carolina, dust contains all before breakfast. Two or three min- sorts of allergens—from dust mites utes is enough to make a difference. and mould to animal dander—which “Something is better than nothing,” can trigger reactions. Endotoxin, a Trotter says. “Don’t let the fear of not substance found in the cell walls of doing a perfect stretch stop you from bacteria, also lives on particles in doing any stretch.” dust and can cause airway inflamma- tion and heighten the risk of asthma, STARE AT YOURSELF—NAKED even in people who weren’t previ- Most of us avoid gazing at our bare ously susceptible to attacks. Zeldin bodies no matter how fit we are. But recommends vacuuming at least taking a long look doesn’t make you once a week and getting rid of clut- Narcissus—in fact, experts recom- ter. Investing in allergen-proof pillow mend it. Dr. Benjamin Barankin, and mattress covers also helps. the medical director of the Toronto Dermatology Centre, says that self- STAY ACTIVE, SEXUALLY assessments, done once a month, If you are having more sex, chances can help us feel more comfortable are you have a healthier heart. Sci- in our skin and allow for the detec- entists at New England Research tion of potentially harmful moles, le- Institutes followed 1,165 middle- sions and spots. “If they don’t look aged men over approximately 16 like or act like your other spots,” years, quizzing them about their sex he says, “have your dermatologist lives and monitoring their health. or family doctor review them.” But They discovered that those who had

104 | 09 • 2015 | rd.ca  sex once a month or less had more late body temperature,” says Turner, incidences of cardiovascular disease noting that it is beneficial for the me- than those doing the deed at least tabolism. Should you feel the need to twice each week. Keep it up, fellas. wear something, make sure it is light, loose and covers a minimal amount CARVE OUT QUIET MOMENTS of skin. To get quality sleep at night, try a bit of mindful meditation during the day GET A GOOD NIGHT’S REST and before dozing off. A 2015 study When we snooze soundly, our bodies from two American universities split experience a welcome dip in the stress 49 people with poor sleep quality into hormone cortisol in the earlier stages two groups: one took a sleep educa- of sleep, which affects how we process tion class, and the other completed sugar, protein, fat, minerals and water. a mindfulness awareness program A lack of proper rest—less than seven that focused on contemplating in- to nine hours a night—can slow your the-moment thoughts, emotions and metabolism, raising your appetite and experiences rather than worrying making you liable to overindulge in about the past or future. The re- the kinds of high-carb, high-fat foods searchers found that, at the end of that lead to belly fat, such as cake and six weeks, the mindfulness group ice cream. Both immediately and over showed less insomnia, depression, time, sleep debt slows you down men- anxiety and fatigue than their coun- tally. While some people may boast terparts. Don’t worry, sleep happy. about how well they get by on very little shut-eye, Michael Breus, a clin- HEAD TO BED UNCLOTHED ical psychologist in Arizona who blogs According to Natasha Turner, a and writes under the name The Sleep Toronto naturopathic doctor and the Doctor, warns against establishing author of The Supercharged Hormone such a deficit. Losing four hours of Diet, if you sleep in pyjamas, you are sleep each night for a week can have doing it wrong. Studies have found the same effect on our reaction time that clothing—specifically anything as having a blood-alcohol level of 0.05 tight or warm—raises body tempera- per cent. Breus advises tightly wound ture at night, resulting in lower levels adults to make sleep a “clean” ritual: of melatonin, which is essential for turn off the TV and the computer at deep, recuperative sleep. “You want least an hour earlier to catch those your body to work a little bit to regu- too-precious Zs.

COPYRIGHT © 2013 BY AARP, AARP THE MAGAZINE (JULY 22, 2013), AARP.ORG

rd.ca | 09 • 2015 | 105

RD CLASSIC

During the Great Depression, one woman’s generosity paid dividends The Effie

EconomyBY HENRY MORTON ROBINSON FROM 1947 ILLUSTRATION BY JENNY BONAR

“ANY APPLES TODAY?” a cheery voice asked at my studio window. “Winesap, Wealthy, Northern Spy? Can’t you use a bushel?”

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I stepped out into the haze of an There were other generosities, al- October noon to take a look. At first ways unobtrusive. Our baby was not glance, the woman seemed older than doing well, so Effie financed my wife’s the world’s aunt. Her face was wrin- trip from Woodstock, N.Y., to New kled with twice my years (I was then York City for a medical consultation. an arrogant 26). But the most remark- We were not the only recipients of able thing about her was the light that her kindness. Effie’s soul was a house burned in her brown eyes. of many mansions, jammed with I followed the woman to a small people she had befriended. One day truck with “Euphemia’s Apples” she read in the paper that a pregnant painted on its side. She plied me mother travelling from San Francisco with samples, and I ended up buy- had arrived penniless in New York ing a bushel of red-cheeked Wine- only to learn that her husband had saps. On credit, of course. Cash was been killed in an accident. Effie cashed the one thing in the world I lacked a $500 bond and sent her the entire just then. I had a wife, a baby, am- amount. A lifelong correspondence bition—everything but money. “Pay with an intelligent and grateful human me whenever you like,” said Effie, being was Effie’s recompense. climbing into her truck. Effie was not a rich woman. Her in- All pretense of payment was come, derived from investments she dropped during that desperate au- had made while running an interior tumn while our funds, food and fuel decorating shop in New York, had ebbed to alarming lows. Effie stopped never exceeded $200 a month. The by frequently, always bearing some 1929 crash reduced this to a pittance, gift: a jug of maple syrup or a jar of which she eked out by peddling her peaches. She guessed that my work apples. But even when her funds were was not booming and could clearly see lowest, she always managed to help I was too young, too inexperienced, to someone less fortunate. make it boom. Well, there was noth- ing she could do about that. But she ONE OF EFFIE’S CARDINAL principles could do something about my wood- was never to lend money. She pre- pile—and she did. One day before ferred to give it outright. Surprisingly Christmas, she rode up in her small often, the money came back. Many truck. The back was covered with pine times I saw her come out of the post boughs, and under the holiday camou- office waving a cheque. “Bread cast on flage was a half cord of seasoned rock the waters,” she’d say triumphantly— oak sawed into just the right lengths adding, with a touch of rue at the wast- for my drum stove. ing years—“ever so long ago.”

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In dealing with sensitive customers “Here, darling,” I said, “is the nego- like me, Effie tried to conceal her gen- tiable part of what I owe you.” erosity under the guise of a business Tears were in her eyes as she arrangement. For instance, her father, handed back my cheque. “Don’t give who had been a painter, had written it to me all at once,” she pleaded. his autobiography. In the trough of my “Why not, Effie?” worst financial crisis, Effie dug out the Her face was very old, tired and dusty manuscript and offered me a fee beautiful as she said, “Give it back as I for editing it. Not until after her death gave it to you—a little at a time.” I think did I learn that she had sold another she believed there was magic in the bond to pay me for this job. slow discharge of a love debt—some Effie’s chief delight was conver- secret talisman that would shield her sation—or, rather, a against death until the kind of Scheherazade account was closed. storytelling. I would The simple fact is, I sit enthralled while Whenever I saw never repaid the whole she depicted the lives another person in amount to Effie, for she and loves of people financial straits, died a few weeks later. At she had known in I was moved to that time, it seemed my Paris, Rome or New debt would forever go York, furnishing her help them. unsettled, but a curious discourse with heroes, thing began to happen. heroines and villains. Whenever I saw an- One day she told me her own story. other person in financial straits, I was At the age of 30, she had dared break moved to help them—as Effie had the taboos of her day by having a helped me—by small outright gifts of secret love affair. Five years later, her money. I can’t afford to do this always, lover died. The remainder of her life but in the 10 years since Effie’s death, was spent “in unmourning remem- I have indirectly repaid my debt to her brance” of her short-lived happiness. a dozen times. This memory gave Effie her special The oddest part of the whole affair is sympathy for young husbands, wives this: people I help often help others and lovers. later on. By now, the few dollars Effie had given me have been multiplied a YEARS PASSED BEFORE I was able to hundredfold. So the account can never return the money Effie had given me be marked closed, for Effie’s love will from time to time. She was ill then and go on compounding interest in hearts had aged rapidly in recent months. that have never known her.

rd.ca | 09 • 2015 | 109 Life’s Like That

FAIR WARNING

imgur.com

I LIKE MY MEN LIKE I LIKE MY… I RECENTLY VISITED a friend in hospice who knew his time was at Cheese: Sharp. Good with wine. hand. He had kept his morale and Easily moulded. sense of humour right to the end. As Flights: Smooth. Minimal baggage. I was getting ready to leave, I held With an emergency exit plan. his hand for a moment and thanked him for being a lifelong buddy. He Light bulbs: Efficient. Bright. On smiled and said he would put in a sale at Walgreens. “good word” for me. When I ex- Thesaurus: Resourceful. Good with pressed my gratitude, he replied, words. Magniloquent. “Don’t thank me yet. I don’t know who I’ll be talking to.” Wine: Perfectly aged. On a case-by- DANIEL KLEIN, Gatineau, Que. case basis. In the cellar.

Facebook timeline: Candid. Like- Are you ready to share your sense of able. Without babies. humour? Send us an original joke! See McSweeney’s Internet Tendency page 9 or visit rd.ca/joke for details.

110 | 09 • 2015 | rd.ca Moving?

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EDITORS’ CHOICE

How the creation of imitation vanilla forever changed how we eat Artificial Intellıgence

BY MARK SCHATZKER FROM THE DORITO EFFECT: THE SURPRISING NEW TRUTH ABOUT FOOD AND FLAVOR PHOTOGRAPHY BY DOMINIQUE LAFOND

THE FOURTH TIME HANK KAESTNER visited Madagascar, he got stuck in an elevator. Kaestner always visited in spring; he always stayed at the Hilton; and over those four visits, the hotel elevator performed very much like the nation’s economy. The first three times, it had run smoothly; now it was stuck. To lovers of milkshakes, chocolate, ice cream and cake frosting, this was grave news.

rd.ca | 09 • 2015 | 113 ReadeR’s digest

Kaestner was a spice buyer for being crushed by a steamroller. The McCormick & Company, a profes- government was destroying its buffer sion as glamorous as spying but with stock. It wanted the price to go even better food. One week he might fly higher. It doubled. to Brazil to buy a few tons of cloves; This was distressing news for the next he’d go on an allspice ex- McCormick. Vanilla was a major pedition in the Mexican jungle and profit centre. The company could get swarmed by killer bees. He once make as much money off a few hun- held a private meeting with the king dred tons of vanilla beans as it could of Tonga. Kaestner loved his job for from 10,000 tons of black pepper. two reasons: he loved spices and he Everyone loves vanilla. Nothing im- loved the amazing places they grew. proves cake frosting or lifts French And among all of those places, Mad- toast like a few dark drops of pure agascar was special because of what vanilla extract. It’s flavouring royalty: grew there: vanilla, which Kaestner better than caramel, better than al- calls “the most magical spice.” mond and better than toffee. Now the island nation was in trou- ble. The problems started in Feb- ruary 1975, when the president of Madagascar was assassinated. Less WAS THERE than a year later, the country’s new AN EASIER WAY leader, a military man named Didier TO MAKE VANILLA? Ratsiraka, nationalized banks and THE ANSWER WAS industries and declared the country INGENIOUSLY SIMPLE: a Marxist republic. Within months, FOOL PEOPLE. embassies were closed and tourism shrivelled. At the formerly luxe Hil- ton, there were burnt-out bulbs in the Everything about vanilla extract lobby and North Koreans, brought in was perfect except for one thing: the to do security, walking the hallways. price. Even under non–Marxist repub- Vanilla production was devas- lic conditions, the stuff was expensive. tated. By 1979, Madagascar was ex- Making it requires cultivating vanilla porting just over a quarter as much orchids, pollinating the blossoms by vanilla as it had in 1976. Back in his hand, waiting for the beans to ripen, office at McCormick headquarters in picking them at just the right time, Hunt Valley, Md., Kaestner received boiling them in water, “sweating” them a package containing photos of a in hot chests or tanks, setting them out great swath of cured vanilla beans every morning to bake in the sun until

114 | 09 • 2015 | rd.ca  they’re dried, then conditioning them asked the same question. Wilhelm in closed boxes for months. Haarmann possessed a strange inter- At this point, the beans—which are est in pine cones. He believed they now as moist as a raisin and as long were hiding a secret: the potential and dark as a cigarillo—are shipped to produce an almost magical white to Europe, then to New York and then powder that could make pastries, to an extraction plant, where they’re drinks and chocolate taste better. chopped into tiny pieces and alcohol The powder itself was no secret. It is passed over them continuously in had been discovered years earlier by a process of steeping that can take a Frenchman who had purified and more than a day. Finally, the brew is filtered vanilla extract until he’d been held for weeks so it can settle. It takes left with a crystalline substance that a year and a half to go from orchid smelled potently of vanilla. The new blossom to extract, a single ounce substance became known as vanillin of which costs as much as a shot of (pronounced VAN-illin). But then, good single-malt whisky. for nearly two decades, nothing. The Now there was a dark cloud hang- mystery of vanilla was no longer a ing over vanilla. Prices were going up. mystery, but no one could do much Supply was dwindling. A home gour- about it because vanillin could be met or a high-end pastry chef might made only from vanilla extract. And tolerate expensive extract, but Mc- since vanilla extract was already ex- Cormick had customers who prod- pensive, vanillin was said to be worth uced ice cream, yogourt, beverages, more than its weight in gold. chocolate and pastries and ordered Haarmann, however, knew some- vanilla extract by the gallon. What thing others didn’t. Years earlier, in were they going to do? his hometown of Holzminden, a phar- In 1978, two years after Kaestner macist had been experimenting with a got trapped in that elevator, McCor- substance he’d scraped from the inner mick asked a question: is there an bark of pine trees. He filtered, pressed, easier way to make vanilla? There boiled down and purified the gooey was. And the answer, though spectac- material until he was left with crystals ularly complex, was also ingeniously he described as “white, silky-sheened, simple: fool people. very delicate.” When the pharmacist squirted acid on these crystals, an ex- ONE HUNDRED AND SEVEN years traordinary reaction took place. The earlier, a German chemist at the air became perfumed with vanilla. Frederick William University (now the Was it possible to produce this Humboldt University of Berlin) had precious and exotic substance from

rd.ca | 09 • 2015 | 115 ReADeR’S Dige ST something as ordinary as pine trees? so much of what we think of as fla- Haarmann got his hands on the phar- vour is actually aroma—scent, bou- macist’s remaining stash of pine crys- quet, odour and so on. A great deal of tals and, in his laboratory, pulled off what characterizes the food we love a chemistry miracle. He turned pine is no more substantial than perfume. crystals into vanillin. And it is explained by a phenomenon known as “retronasal olfaction,” or back-of-the-nose smelling. Retronasal olfaction happens MUCH OF WHAT WE when an aroma enters your nose not THINK OF AS FLAVOUR through your nostrils but through IS AROMA. THE NOSE’S your throat. It is fundamentally dif- GREATEST TALENT IS ferent from nostril smelling, engag- RECOGNIZING THE ing other parts of the brain. Of all the VALUE OF FLAVOUR. senses, it is both the most intense and, curiously, the most unknown. Almost no one has any idea that the In 1875, after collecting 20 kilograms nose’s greatest talent is appreciating of pine cones in the Black Forest, flavour. (The people who come clos- Haarmann opened Haarmann’s Van- est are wine aficionados.) illinfabrik. What had formerly been the This is how it works: when you eat exclusive domain of a tropical orchid food, the combination of chewing was now being produced in a factory and heat releases “volatile aromatic in Germany. Pine cones went in one compounds”—wafting food vapours, end, and vanillin came out the other. basically, like the ones you see eman- Haarmann’s company would even- ating from burbling pots and grilling tually figure out how to make vanil- steaks in vintage cartoons. As you eat, lin from clove oil, which was even these aromatic gases float up or are cheaper, and would go on to manu- exhaled into the nasal cavity (situated facture a synthetic flavouring found in above the roof of your mouth), the violets that is still used to create fruit ceiling of which is dappled with mi- flavours. His flavour business grew to croscopic pouches that catch odours. be so successful that Holzminden be- These pouches are so tiny that came known as the City of Fragrances. whole molecules don’t fit inside them, only parts of molecules. When a re- THAT PROBABLY SOUNDS ODD. A ceptor is “stimulated,” it sends a signal city that makes flavours becoming through the human body’s most direct

famous for fragrances. That’s because conduit of nerve fibre to the olfactory ALL PHOTOS: (FOOD STYLIST) DANIEL RAICHE; (ASSISTANT) PASCALE MÉTHOT; (RETOUCHER) PATRICK LAVOIE

116 | 09 • 2015 | rd.ca

ReadeR’s digest bulb, an ancient-olive-shaped piece The tongue is far from useless, of the brain that hovers over the nasal however. It senses what are called the cavity as though it, too, is trying to get “basic tastes”: sweet, salty, sour, bitter in on the smelling action. and umami (savoury). Actually, it isn’t A single molecule can have lots just the tongue. There are taste recep- of different parts and, therefore, tors on the roof of your mouth and in stimulate many different receptors. your throat. Sweet things, like sugar, A single receptor, similarly, can be stimulate sweet taste receptors, which stimulated, to varying degrees, by dif- produce the universal pleasure known ferent kinds of molecules. There are as sweetness. Acids stimulate sour re- around 400 kinds of smell receptors, ceptors. And that’s how it works for bit- but the combination of signals—each ter, salty and umami. combination represents a different The flavour industry has not forgot- aroma—is, at present, incalculably ten about the tongue. The discovery of huge. But we know this much: we are umami rivals vanillin for its influence capable of distinguishing more than on the food business. That happened a trillion aromas. in 1908, when a Japanese chemist The brain, fortunately, is expertly named Kikunae Ikeda wondered what talented at cataloguing them. The it was that gave dashi (a Japanese fish aromatic compounds emanating stock) an irresistible savoury quality. from bacon, for example, trigger a After manipulating seaweed through combination of smell receptors that a aqueous extraction, he discovered person remembers as “bacon.” When the fish stock’s inner secret: a crystal- that person walks into a diner at line substance called glutamic acid. 9 a.m. and is struck by the scent waft- The next year, Ikeda began produc- ing off of the sizzling flat-top grill, it ing a commercial form of glutamic sets off an experience that is as much acid known as monosodium gluta- analytical as it is emotional: “bacon.” mate under the brand name Aji-no- When it comes to sensing food aro- moto. Today, Ajinomoto Group is the mas, the human tongue is as useful as world’s leading producer of MSG (not the big toe. If you plug your nose and to mention a whole lot of seasonings), dump an ounce of vanillin on your and it’s worth more than the company tongue, you will taste only a very mild Haarmann co-founded, which is now bitter flavour. It’s not until you inhale called Symrise. through your mouth and then exhale It might be conceptually helpful to through your nose and vanillin mol- separate taste and aroma to under- ecules reach the nasal cavity that the stand how flavour works, but it is the silky tropical scent tingles your brain. combination of the two that we find

118 | 09 • 2015 | rd.ca  so stirring. Without the mouth, food “rummy,” “smoky” and “watermelon.” is nothing more than a fleeting scent. They are, nevertheless, essential to And without the nose, it’s dismally the experience of authentic vanilla. simple. When a person eats bacon, re­ They give it what flavour scientists ceptors in the mouth sense saltiness, refer to as “depth,” “structure,” “body” sweetness and umami, while the nose and “dimension.” On its own, vanillin senses its sweet, roasty, smoky, porky is a blast of sweet cotton candy—fun volatiles. In the mind, they combine to but simple, a good­looking dim­wit. form a blend that is vivid and insepar­ By the late ’70s, with Madagascar able—and deeply pleasurable. now in the business of destroying its own vanilla beans, vanillin, however BY THE MID-’70S, the world was simple, was starting to look like a awash in Haarmann’s wonder powder. pretty good option. For McCormick, Vanillin was cheap, it stored easily, the situation was bad. It wasn’t much and it didn’t come from a politically of a flavour company; it was mainly unstable former French colony. Ev­ an herb and spice company, which it erything about vanillin was perfect still is today. It dabbled here and there except for one thing: quality. with chemical flavourings, but it was a pipsqueak compared to multinational flavour behemoths like Givaudan, Haarmann & Reimer and International THE REAL MONEY Flavors & Fragrances, which could WAS IN COMPLEXITY. pump out huge quantities of vanillin. IN 1978, MCCORMICK Vanillin was a commodity. The real SET ITS SIGHTS ON money was in true vanilla extract. CREATING “COMPLEX” The real money was in complexity. FAKE VANILLA. And that’s what the company set out to achieve. In 1978, McCormick set its sights on “complex” fake vanilla. Vanillin may have been vanilla’s The team featured a young food biggest secret, but it was by no means technologist named Marianne Gil­ its only secret. Vanilla contains hun­ lette, who had a master’s in nutrition dreds of other aromatic compounds. from the University of California, Da­ Not a single one of these comes any­ vis. In one room, Gillette assembled where close to the dominance or like­ a “trained descriptive panel” of ex­ ability of vanillin, and some of them pert sniffers and tasters who special­ don’t smell very vanilla­like on their ized in identifying flavour notes in own. These notes include “woody,” food. They sniffed and tasted pure

rd.ca | 09 • 2015 | 119

 vanilla extract and scribbled down This ominous pair of words is the notes, which Gillette then took to a name of the technology that blew the flavourist—a professional concocter flavour door off its hinges in the ’50s. of flavour chemicals—who pulled out Before gas chromatography, there bottles filled with the exact synthetic was no good way to separate out, for matches of “vanillin,” “woody” and example, the multitude of aromas in “rummy” and blended them. A day vanilla. Beyond vanillin and perhaps later, the sensory panel would con- a few others, flavour scientists could vene again. Gillette would have them only stare in wonder at a bottle of compare the latest fake vanilla with extract. With gas chromatography, pure extract, and the sensory panel you could put a drop of extract in a would proceed to rip into it. machine (a gas chromatograph), and over the next couple of hours, the individual compounds would come marching out the other end. The ma- IT WOULD TAKE chine even produced a printout that JUST 96 GRAMS OF displayed each chemical as a peak. A RESINOUS TO GIVE big peak meant there was a lot of that NIAGARA FALLS A particular chemical, and a tiny peak LEATHERY NOTE meant there wasn’t much at all. FOR AN HOUR. By the time of the resinous mys- tery, McCormick had already ana- lyzed the bejesus out of vanilla and After two years, the flavourist’s used the results to create a chemical artificial vanilla started smelling like “map” of the flavours inside. But the a pretty good match for real vanilla, sensory panel’s resinous finding was but something was missing. There a revelation, nonetheless. The map was a gaping aromatic hole in the was incomplete. Somewhere in vanil- middle of fake vanilla. The profes- la’s chromatogram, there was a small sional sniffers called it “resinous.” peak everyone had been missing. Gillette came back to the flavourist This time, instead of scouring the and said, “There’s not enough resin- printout for peaks, the flavourist ous.” And here the flavourist drew a pulled up a stool next to the gas chro- blank. There was no match in her ar- matograph. As each compound came senal of flavour chemicals. Just what out the other end—woody, beeswax, the heck was “resinous,” anyway? The rummy, smoky—she sniffed, careful panel described it as “leathery.” not to burn her nose on the hot gas, It was time for gas chromatography. hoping resinous would eventually

rd.ca | 09 • 2015 | 121 READER’S D IgEST appear. For nearly an hour, there vanilla secret and six years after Hank wasn’t so much as a peep. Then, a Kaestner got stuck in that elevator, fleeting, leathery wisp. Resinous. They McCormick began selling Imitation checked the printout. The peak was so Vanilla Flavor. small it looked more like a valley. Whereas vanilla extract featured But for resinous, the jig was up. A hundreds of compounds, Imitation McCormick chemist named Patrick Vanilla Flavor had around 30, and Hoffman cranked the sensitivity on not one of them was made from van- the gas chromatograph way up and illa beans. Vanilla had been chemi- ran the vanilla profile over and over. cally decapitated and its production He got different flavourists—some outsourced from Madagascar to sub- male, some female—to sniff the out- urban Baltimore. Only the chemists put. The suspect was apprehended. knew about it. To a person licking Once resinous had been captured an ice cream cone, it tasted exactly in a bottle, McCormick identified its the same. According to Gillette and chemical makeup using a different every member of her sensory panel, technology called mass spectrom- it was a “perfect match” to pure etry, which deduces unknown sub- Madagascar vanilla extract. Industry stances by measuring, among other agreed. Many customers switched to things, their mass-to-charge ratio, Imitation Vanilla Flavor and never which includes the molecular weight. switched back, even when the price (It’s like trying to figure out what’s of real vanilla came back down. inside a mysterious suitcase by heav- A century after Wilhelm Haarmann ing it off of a hotel balcony.) stepped into that German forest, a And boy, was resinous ever potent. fantasy that began with pine cones According to Hoffman, who would was realized. Fake vanilla was cheap go on to become McCormick’s direc- and available by the gallon—and it tor of technical sciences and is now didn’t taste fake anymore. retired, it would take just 96 grams of resinous (close to 3.5 ounces) to give AND THAT, LADIES AND gentlemen, Niagara Falls a discernible leathery is how industry has accomplished note for an hour. what you might call the great flavour It wasn’t long before McCormick migration. One after another, humans was in the resinous business. In have captured the chemicals that char- 1982, four years after Gillette and her acterize foods like apples, cherries, colleagues first set out to crack the carrots and beef and moved their

© 2015 BY MARK SCHATZKER. THE DORITO EFFECT: THE SURPRISING NEW TRUTH ABOUT FOOD AND FLAVOR IS PUBLISHED BY SIMON & SCHUSTER

122 | 09 • 2015 | rd.ca  production from plants was discovered in grape- and animals to factories. fruit, and by 1970 the Coca- In 1965, there were fewer Cola Company was adding than 700 of these chemi- the compound to Fresca. cals. Today, there are over The age of human-made 2,200. Recent additions flavour had dawned. It are “mustard horseradish was now possible to fool wasabi,” or 2-(methyl thio) people into experiencing ethyl acetate; “raw potato” mintiness without a single (2-ethoxy-3-ethylpyrazine); leaf of mint. You could and “balsamic” (Sclareol). create the vivid sensation But don’t think of it as a list. of passion fruit with just It’s more like a vocabulary, a few drops of liquid. In because these chemicals 1986, the chemical secret EDITORS’ are mixed and blended CHOICE of hazelnuts was out of the in almost endless com- bag, and five years after binations to produce knock-offs that that, white truffles lost their historic keep getting more complex, layered monopoly on 2,4,6-trithiaheptane (the and convincing. “vanillin” of northern Italy’s rarest and None of it would have happened most expensive ingredient). without gas chromatography. The first For thousands of years, the flavour commercial gas chromatograph unit of orange could be experienced only went on sale in 1955, and soon delta- via the seasonal, perishable spheres of dodecalactone, which had been found fibre, juice, vitamins, minerals and an- in butter, was being added to margar- tioxidants called oranges. Now you ine. A “green note” called leaf alcohol could order “orange” by phone and paved the way to better fake straw- add it to soft drinks, Popsicles, yogourt berry, a flavour that got even more or gum. Name any food—raspberries, convincing in 1964 with the addition chicken, pineapples, tomatoes, blue- of a sweet-smelling substance called berries, even tacos—and there were Furaneol. That same year, nootkatone chemicals that imitated it.

GRIN AND SHARE IT

The smile is the shortest distance between two people.

VICTOR BORGE

rd.ca | 09 • 2015 | 123 Peanut butter and jelly › Summer and baseball › Batman and Robin › Canada Day and fi reworks ›

Reader’s Digest and Sweepstakes

Things that are always better together.

To fi nd out more, please visit us at readersdigest.ca/sweeps GET SMART!

13 Things You Should Know About Confidence BY ERICA LENTI

If you boost your self-assurance, bad vibes result in what is called you’ll accomplish more, says “negative self-efficacy.” 1Stanford University professor Albert Bandura. Confident individuals, he A fear of failure can increase explains, view difficult tasks “as your self-doubt. Louisa Jewell, challenges to be mastered, rather 3the president of the Canadian Posi- than as threats to be avoided.” tive Psychology Association, says the best way to ramp up your con- To help achieve this mindset, fidence levels is to do the thing at 2 Bandura recommends putting which you’re afraid of failing. That ISTOCKPHOTO yourself in a good mood: stress and way, it becomes less daunting. ➸

rd.ca | 09 • 2015 | 125 ReadeR’s digest 

Some people are wary of In certain situations, knowing success—with achievement what others expect can boost 4come unknowns. To counteract 9confidence, says Hunt. So don’t be this, Jewell suggests focusing on afraid to ask your boss or your col- the tangible and visualizing suc- leagues what you should be aiming cess and its upsides. for to achieve your goal.

Compassion is a necessary pil- Take it one step at a time lar of self-esteem, Jewell says. and create deadlines to 5Make sure you cut yourself some 10reach personal milestones. If, for slack in the event that you make instance, you are trying to become mistakes, and remember that set- a poised public speaker, gradually backs are part of being human. address larger groups for longer periods over time. Women are more likely to lack confidence. A 2012 Norwegian If you needed another excuse 6study measured how well univer- to haul yourself to the gym, sity students predicted they would 11a 2013 article in the Journal of do on an exam: 37 per cent of Physical Activity and Health de- women underestimated their scribed how being active can in- scores, as opposed to only 15 per crease self-esteem levels and lead cent of men. to more ease in relating to peers.

Bruce Hunt, a Toronto public- It’s okay to be cocky. A speaking expert who teaches collection of studies in the 7confidence, says a supportive 12Journal of Personality and Social social circle can provide the posi- Psychology found subjects who tive reinforcement integral to were overly confident in their building self-esteem. In short, abilities to complete tasks were make—and keep—nice friends. more respected and more likely to be perceived as competent. Consider finding role models who share your gender, age, But be careful not to tip over 8race or professional background. into self-satisfaction. The Being able to see those mentors 13upside of a mild lack of confidence “do what we want to do makes us is that we keep pushing ourselves think maybe we can achieve it, too,” to improve, “to push the envelope,” Jewell explains. says Jewell.

126|09 • 2015|rd.ca That’s Outrageous! FOOD FOR THOUGHT BY DANIEL VIOLA

A SENSATIONAL FLOP maker Wyke Farms have Maybe it was the previ- insured his nose for ous month’s seismic ac- £5 million. The invest- tivity; maybe it was the ment was worth it. imminent full moon. But Pooley has been grad- Matt LeDoux, president of ing cheeses for Fishermen’s Wharf seafood 25 years—monitor- market in Charleston, Ore., ing merchandise for credits plain old hunger. Why else defects throughout would a harbour seal (a creature production and that sticks to the water and avoids saving huge quantities from being humans) have heaved itself from thrown out. To keep his palate un- the ocean in May and flopped into impeachable, Pooley tests cheeses LeDoux’s market? The animal ini- only in the morning and avoids spicy tially pawed at a bag on the floor but foods (steer clear of that pepper jack). abandoned it when it realized the vessel contained none of the fresh VEGETABLE PERIL salmon that scented the air. Then The small German town of Ludwigs- the seal—dubbed Flash by locals— lust is not where one expects to find retreated, empty-flippered. Asked a gang armed with knives. So when why it didn’t stick around for a police received a call in May reporting meal, Flash glanced at a discarded just that, 12 officers in six cars rushed coffee cup and said, “Ark ark ark ark.” to the scene. But instead of blade- wielding baddies, they found a group LEGENDAIRY NOSTRILS of asparagus harvesters, work tools in Nigel Pooley has a nose for cheese. hand, on their break. Police inspec- The 69-year-old from the English tion press officer Klaus Wiechmann town of Shepton Mallet is so attuned says the situation was resolved to the subtleties of fermented quickly and peacefully; luckily, no

PIERRE LORANGER milk that his superiors at the cheese asparagus spears were brandished.

rd.ca | 09 • 2015 | 127 MORE GREAT READS THIS MONTH Rd.ca/ September

FOOD Perfect Preserves: 12 Steps for Canning Success

HEALTH HOW WORRIED SHOULD WE BE ABOUT OUR CELLPHONES?

RD CLASSIC Justice Delayed: Joseph Salvati spent 30 years behind bars after being sentenced to life in prison with no possibility of parole. He was innocent— and the FBI knew it all along.

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Newsletter (JARS, CELLPHONE) ISTOCKPHOTO; (SALVATI) JASON GROW

128 | 09 • 2015 | rd.ca Brainteasers

Challenge yourself by solving these puzzles and mind stretchers, then check your answers on page 132.

BY MARCEL DANESI

THE COMPLETE SET (Moderately difficult) In each column there are two dominoes. Each of these pairs obeys a certain rule, so that together they make a set. Among the options below, which other pair of dominoes belongs to this set?

A B C

CRYPTIC EQUATIONS (Moderately difficult) Each letter in these equations stands for one of C + L = Z the seven numbers listed below. No two letters have the same numeric value. Match each let- Z – H = E ter to a number to make the equations work. A x H = Q 2 4 5 6 7 8 11 Q —: A = H

rd.ca | 09 • 2015 | 129 REAdER’S dIGEST

WHAT’S NEXT? (Moderately difficult) Which object comes next, logically, in the sequence?

A B C

TRIANGLE HUNT (Difficult) THE MISSING LINK (Easy) How many triangles can you What number is missing from the square? find? Note that a triangle can be made up of smaller segments, including other triangles. 2 3 5 2 1 0 2 9 6 3 ? 0 3 6 2 1

130 | 09 • 2015 | rd.ca

131

2015 • 09 rd.ca | |

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with cleanliness. 15. Thai.

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132

2015 • 09 rd.ca | |

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Answers

Brainteasers:

Word Power

Whether you find it a pleasure or a chore, shopping is a fact of life. See how many of this month’s retail terms you’ve learned while spending your dollars.

BY CRYSTAL BELIVEAU

1. flog—A: act rudely 6. shrinkage— 11. appurtenances— toward a customer. A: lost stock. A: accessories. B: damage merchandise. B: decline of B: clothing tags. C: sell aggressively. customer base. C: online sales. C: decrease in buying 2. cosset—A: pamper. power due to inflation. 12. float—A: cash to B: make to order. begin the sales day. C: browse. 7. cupidity— B: customer unlikely A: narcissism. 3. sundries— to buy anything. B: overspending. A: contraband products. C: legless mannequin. C: greed. B: miscellaneous items. 13. upsell—A: place C: Styrofoam stuffing. 8. catchpenny— an item at eye level. A: cashier’s till. 4. showrooming— B: push a more B: intended for quick, A: buying a product expensive product. cheap sales. solely to impress C: auction above C: expensive purchase. your peers. market price. B: returning a product 9. gleanings— after using it. A: bargains. 14. dicker— C: examining a product B: advice from A: buy in instalments. in a store before buying previous buyers. B: window-shop. it online. C: items collected C: negotiate. bit by bit. 5. pop-up— 15. sybaritic— A: door greeter. 10. popinjay— A: fond of luxury. B: store that opens A: chatty shopper. B: inclined to buy temporarily. B: person given to in quantity. C: daily markdown vain displays. C: easily influenced promotion. C: impatient patron. by advertising.

rd.ca | 09 • 2015 | 133 ReAdeR’S dIGeST Answers

1. flog—[C] sell aggressively; as, 9. gleanings—[C] items collected Apple unleashed an ad blitz to flog bit by bit; as, This weekend’s estate- its new watch. sale gleanings added up to a rocking chair and two side tables. 2. cosset—[A] pamper; as, The boutique’s sales strategy was to 10. popinjay—[B] person given to cosset customers with attention vain displays; as, Check out that and free samples. loud jacket Raj bought—he’s turning into a real popinjay. 3. sundries—[B] miscellaneous items; as, Layton came back from 11. appurtenances—[A] accessor- the corner store with pens, soap ies; as, The computer comes with and other sundries. appurtenances, namely a printer and mouse. 4. showrooming—[C] examining a product in a store before buying 12. float—[A] cash to begin the it online; as, Before deciding sales day; as, The cashier’s float which appliances to order, let’s was too small to give me change go showrooming at the Bay. for my $50 bill.

5. pop-up—[B] store that opens 13. upsell—[B] push a more expen- temporarily; as, Hurry to check out sive product; as, When I took my the new pop-up because you never watch in for repair, the salesperson know when it will close. tried to upsell me on a new model.

6. shrinkage—[A] lost stock; as, 14. dicker—[C] negotiate; as, The local bookstore is in danger Want a good deal on a car? Take of shutting down due to too much my husband. He loves to dicker shrinkage from shoplifting. over prices.

7. cupidity—[C] greed; as, 15. sybaritic—[A] fond of luxury; Aleksandra’s cupidity for shoes as, My ex’s sybaritic lifestyle nearly was insatiable. bankrupted us.

8. catchpenny—[B] intended for VOCABULARY RATINGS quick, cheap sales; as, The catch- 7–10: fair penny world of fast fashion creates 11–12: good new looks weekly. 13–15: excellent

134 | 09 • 2015 | rd.ca

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I DON’T KNOW I have to listen to WHAT IT’S Michael Jackson’s LIKE IN YOUR BUSINESS, BUT IN “Man in the Mirror” MINE, IF YOU’RE before every game. NOT GETTING BETTER, YOU’RE It started in college. GETTING PASSED. CHRISTINE SINCLAIR MIKE BABCOCK

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PHOTOS: (MUSK) © SPACE X; (SINCLAIR) CANADA WALK OF FAME/PAUL BEAULIEU; (MURRAY) © STRAIGHTWAY RECORDS. QUOTES: (MUSK) THE TELEGRAPH (JAN. 4, 2014); (McADAMS) MARIE CLAIRE (JUNE 12, 2015); (SINCLAIR) HUFFINGTONPOST.CA (JUNE 5, 2015); (BABCOCK) SPORTSNET (© 2015); (WORKMAN) THE GLOBE AND MAIL (MARCH 11, 2014); (MURRAY) TWITTER (JAN. 27, 2015).

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