THE CORD WEEKLY

Volume 29, Number 25 Thursday Mar. 23,1989 Wilfrid Laurier University Abandon all hope

ye who enter here Cord Photo: Liza Sardi The Cord Weekly 2 Thursday, March 23,1989

THE CORD WEEKLY |1 keliv/f!rent-a-car ; SAVE $5.00 ! March 23,1989 Volume 29, Number 25 ■ ON ANY CAR RENTAL ■ I Editor-in-Chief Cori Ferguson ■

NEWS Editor Bryan C. Leblanc Associate Jonathan Stover Contributors Tim Sullivan Frances McAneney COMMENT ■ ■ Contributors 205 WEBER ST. N. Steve Giustizia l 886-9190 l FEATURES Free Customer Pick-up Delivery ■ Editor vacant and Contributors Elizabeth Chen ENTERTAINMENT Editor Neville J. Blair Contributors Dave Lackie Cori Cusak Jonathan Stover Kathy O'Grady Brad Driver Todd Bird SPORTS Editor Brad Lyon Contributors Brian Owen Sam Syfie Serge Grenier Lucien Boivin Raoul Treadway Wayne Riley Oscar Madison Fidel Treadway Kenneth J. Whytock Janet Smith DESIGN AND ASSEMBLY Production Manager Kat Rios Assistants Sandy Buchanan Sarah Welstead Bill Casey Systems Technician Paul Dawson Copy Editors Shannon Mcllwain Keri Downs Contributors \ Jana Watson Tony Burke CAREERS Andre Widmer 112 PHOTOGRAPHY Manager Vicki Williams Technician Jon Rohr gfCHALLENGE Graphic Arts Paul Tallon Contributors Liza Sardi Brian Craig gfSECURITY Chris Starkey Tony Burke J. Jonah Jameson Marc Leblanc

— ADVERTISING INFLEXIBILITY Manager Bill Rockwood Classifieds Mark Hand gfPRESTIGE Production Manager Scott Vandenberg National Advertising Campus Plus gf (416)481-7283 SATISFACTION

CIRCULATION AND FILING Manager John Doherty Ifyou want theserewards

Eight month, 24-issue CORD subscription rates are: $20.00 for addresses within Canada inacareer... and $25.00 outside the country. Co-op students may subscribe at the rate of $9.00 per four month work term. CALLUS STUDENT PUBLICATIONS BOARD Chartered Accountancy is a growing profession that oilers all of the President Chris Starkey above...and a lot more! Directors The need for Chartered Accountants —Canada's most trusted financial Kirk Nielsen Gail Strachan advisers— has .never been greater. William Penny Doug Earle CA's excel in every employment sector. In commerce and finance, Barbara Smith Riyaz Mulji manufacturing and mining, hospitals, universities and government, there are Karen Bird (A.'s at the top...and on the way to it! You've come this far. Now take the next step. Reach for the rewards The Cord Weekly welcomes all comments, criticisms and suggestions from its readers. of this dynamic and challenging profession. Whether you're in arts, science, Letters to the Editor must be typed, double spaced and submitted by Friday at 6:00 pm for engineering, law or commerce, the CA profession has a place for you. the following publication. All letters must bear the author's full name, telephone and student For more information about becoming a CA, call or write Career not exceed 400 words in length. The Cord Weekly reserves the nght number. Letters must Information at the Institute. torefuse any submission. All submissions become the property of The Cord Weekly. The Cord offices are located on the 2nd floor of the Student Union Building (Nichols Centre) Wilfrid Laurier University. 884-2990 or 884-2991. The Cord Campus at Telephone Till- INSTITI ITKOr is at Kitchener. Weekly printed Fairway Press, V CIIAUri'KHDACCOHNIANI'SOI'ONIARK) The Cord Weekly is published weekly during the fall and winter academic terms. Editorial J Street Hast,'lon into M-iV opinions are approved by the editorial board and are independent of the University, 69 Bloor 183 WLUSU, and Student Publications. The Cord Weekly is a member of the Canadian Uni- (-416)962 18-41 ('lbrontoarea ) versity Press. / I•H(XMK"M>73'S (outside'lbronto) ( -416)962 Copyright © 1989 by WLU Student Publications, Waterloo, Ontario, N2L 3C5. No part of V Telefax: 8900 this publication may be reproduced without the permission of the Editor-in-Chief. The Cord Weekly NEWS 3 Thursday, March 23,1989 Arms race creates hidden losses TORONTO (CUP) -- A mother buries the for military purposes. emaciated body of her infant son under the hot Third World arms rccipicnts must pay for their Ethiopian sky. He died from diarrhea, and could weapons in hard currency. To do this, governments have been saved with five dollars' worth of mineral often use fertile, prime land to grow cash crops, salts. land that is often taken away from the hungry. A But Ethiopia is at war, and the government has net flow of about $38 billion per year from poor no time or money for emaciated children. countries to the rich ensures that Third World na- Halfway around the world, on the edge of a tions remain impoverished and exploited. lake in Labrador, a native family is disrupted by a low-flying jet fighter flying at near supersonic Military spending in the poorest countries speed from the Canadian Forces Base at Goose doubled between 1974 and 1984, and military ex- Bay. The noise and danger from these jets wouldn't penditures of developed countries are 30 times be tolerated in other parts of Canada, and endangers larger than their aid budgets for the developing the health of natives living outside the mainstream. countries. Around the world, every minute of every day, The upper class of Third World countries have tragedies occur because the world's resources are much to gain through maintaining a strong army. being funneled into expensive, high-powered kill- Soldiers represent power, authority, stability and ing machines, says Major-General Leonard technical progress. Johnston, former commandant of National Defence "Armies are also, and not coincidentally, the College and chair of Project Ploughshares, a non- means of maintaining power to enrich the leaders governmental peace organization. and a cadre of rich and corrupt supporters," said Johnston, who spoke to about 60 people last Johnston. week at the University of Toronto, said 30 children "Military expansion in the Third World helps to die every minute of every day while the world's na- maintain an environment favorable to capitalist tions spend almost $2 million a minute on arms. business interests." The world invests a trillion dollars on arms a year. But the real winners of the arms race are arms- Fourteen million children die of hunger and pre- producing countries like the United States, the ventable disease during that same time. Soviet Union, Canada and neutral nations like "The most obvious consequences of militariza- Sweden, Switzerland, Argentina and Brazil. tion is the misuse of resources, the lost opportunity "Arms sales are profitable; exports lengthen to meet human needs with the approximately $1 production runs, making domestic arms production trillion being spent on arms each year," he said. economic; they use surplus industrial capacity, and "Military spending contributes to inflation, un- they improve the balance of payments for the ex- employment, and public debt, sapping the strength porting countries." of the richest nations. But nowhere are the con- And the poor? "Just seven months' worth of sequences as severe as in the underdeveloped na- world military spending would pay for supplying tions of the Third World, some of which have be- clean water and adequate sanitation to the two bil- come economic basket cases." lion people who now lack these bare essentials of Johnston said the arms race absorbs highly health," said Johnston. qualified people who could otherwise contribute to "A single ballistic-missile submarine costs as solving the problems. About 45 million people much as the annual education budgets of 23 devel- make up the world-wide military work force, and oping countries with 160 million school-age chil- 25 per cent of global research and development is dren." When the money got tight, York went shopping

TORONTO (CUP) - When cash lions director Will Sayers. "If you the thrust to make sure that the maintain an open and informed As well, a confidential memo was tight, York University de- get a tax credit of 100 per cent, Ontario economy is international- dialogue with the provincial written by Queen's University ad- cided to operate a shopping mall people would be more generous." ly competitive." government... This dialogue has ministrators and circulated to on campus. The COU represents university The COU doesn't agree. It been fundamentally one-sided, as presidents recommended 44 per Ontario's ailing university presidents across the province. says Ontario universities are sig- our council's research and reports cent tuition fee hikes over five system desperately needs an in- The university administrators nificantly under financed by U.S. have gone largely without years, and that government grants jection of cash which must proba- also urged the government to standards. And, the 7.5 increase response," said the COU's latest increase by $375 million over the bly come from corporations and seek more transfer funds from Ot- actually represents a 4 per cent report, released March 13. next nine years. individual donors, say the pro- tawa and increase the number of increase after supplementary The same day, the COU told vince's university presidents. provincial loans and grants to stu- funding is taken into account. the Ontario government standing And the government should dents. Tuition fee increases were MCU's advisory committee committee on finance and eco- Most universities have taken restructure the lax system to en- also discussed. And the adminis- recommended that universities nomic affairs that the province's fundraising matters into their own courage more public and private trators urged the treasury ministry get a 10 per cent increase in oper- universities must get more money hands, embarking on huge donations, school presidents and to take a serious look at un- ating grants. and are prepared to raise tuition fundraising campaigns. Council of Ontario Universities derfunding. "The universities of Ontario fees and limit enrolment to get it. (COU) A officials told Ontario "There's record numbers of have made continuous efforts to Treasurer Robert Nixon last students applying to universities," Tuesday. said Rosehart. "They're going to "We're saying to the be with us for four years. The treasurer,'Look, we don't have government has a moral obliga- any brilliant ideas,'" said Bob tion to fund those students for Rosehart, president of Lakehead that period of time." University. "Somewhere in the Sayers said the meeting went tax system we should look at how well, but he is adapting a wait- we could encourage corporate and-see attitude as to its effec- and private donations to the uni- tiveness. versities." "The treasurer will have an Rosehart suggested the opportunity in the budget, and the government look at tax incentives government in the (April) throne like the credits given to those speech to address university is- who contribute to a political sues," said Sayers. party. Joe Deschenes, assistant to More widely-discussed is the Ontario Treasurer Robert Nixon formation of a "university foun- said the two sides had common dation", a non-profit provincial ground. "I think both the treasurer organization which would hold, and the COU were concerned in trust, funds, capital, stocks and about the quality of education." bonds for Ontario's universities. He went on to defend the Donors could target their contri- provincial Ministry of Colleges butions to specific schools and Universities' record, saying through the foundation, and all the 7.5 per cent increase in fund- donations would be 100 per cent ing announced last December was tax deductable. above the 5.1 per cent inflation "It would provide an enhan- rate. And, the $100 million allo- cement of private and public cated over the next 10 years for giving," said COU communica- centres of excellence is "part of The Cord Weekly 4 Thursday, March 23,1989

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YtSL W K position openings 'fl T PfOmLaWir wlusu X P TIW ?li&J — JV T JlW\T\ 1 T ALL positions close today at 4:30 pm 112 h=;^Eexecutivet / fw}W* irWrl* ■2 Central Resource Archivists

■DEAPARTMENT OF UNIVERSITY AFFAIRS WLU / ■ 1 Campus Club Business Director 50 ■ 1 Health Plan Co-ordinator S3l© dt til© IllfO BOOth

1 Tutorial Services Coordinator X -COStlim© COfltOSt! 1 University Affairs Co-ordinator .PfOflt rrizeb.Pt*i7Acf vice president financeXtußßET BSA presents

Marketing Department Open Forum // 2 Account Executives jn the Concourse — TABLE TENNIS u Applications Wed, March 29th in wlusu ll:lsamtDlpm TOURNEY

Tell us Wi*

Tuesday, March 28 in the Concourse rJn^j 11 am to 2P m \\m Like to Play? r*P§W sign up at the WLUSU Booth or Info Booth is coming -Tuesday March 14 .Jk j. to WLU J -Tuesday, March 21 Watch * for it! * ]v \. «1» <1« *x* »1* *1* «1* \L> *!» «1« «1« ' *X* *1* «X* *1* «1* «1» <1« vl* «i« «1« «X* \. «T» «T% i»T« »112» j First Year Council Presents' ICE * OMjp||TOMT APPLICANTS! J Z MEETING IN IEI

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J f/c/cefs on sale at the Info Booth Kevin McGrath BBBk J WLU $3 guests $5 sat., Apr. 1 \ vJhk appearing in the Theatre Auditorium § J Bpm'' wlu $1 -mSJw J Thursday March 30 Others $3 $ WET/DRY -ID required at the door Bpm The Cord Weekly NEWS 5 Thursday, March 23,1989 Tuition hike could reach 30% or more * SASKATOON (CUP) - Students provincial budget. However, in university. The quotas were over the next five years—even The Alberta government is at the University of Saskatchewan October 1988 the minister told U originally intended as a two-year before inflation is factored in; boosting provincial university will face 30 per cent hikes in tui- of S students that in order to in- emergency measure, but were ex- * The proposal also suggests in- and college funding by five per tion fees in 1990-91 if the latest crease funding to the university, tended last month for at least one creasing provincial university cent next year—adding $38 mil- budget request gets by the the government would have to cut more year. funding over nine years from the lion to the bottom line; * school's board of governors. other programs, increase taxes, or The maximum enrolment in current $1,545 billion to $1.92 And the board of governors at The increase is included in "mortgage your future and let the arts and science is 1700first- billion, excluding increases re- the University of Calgary upped one of two strategies the board deficit rise." year and 4300 upper-year stu- lated to inflation; tuition fees by 4.5 per cent for says it will be forced to adopt if "The arguments in the budget dents, and admission require- * University of British Columbia 1989-90; its provincial operating grant is request are very compelling. ments were raised from 65 to 73 fees will go up 10 per cent in too low. The alternative is a They (the provincial government) per cent. September for undergraduates. * Recent media reports suggested deficit in each of the next two fis- are reasonable people who should Meanwhile: Some graduate students' invoices that the Quebec Conseil des mini- cal years. know how important the univer- * A leaked Queen's University will go up 50 per cent. At Simon stres was already planning to "The four per cent which was sity is to the social and economic proposal circulating to schools Fraser University, tuition fees raise university tuition fees for indicated as a possibility by the well-being of the province," said throughout Ontario recommends will go up six and 40 per cent the 1990 school year, a report minister some time ago is not student council president Ed Zerr. increasing tuition fees 44 per cent respectively; later denied by the premier. going to be sufficient on its own Other budget options exam- to keep us out of the red," said ined included the increasing of board chair Don Whiteman. revenues through fund-raising, To avoid the fee increase, the across-the-board trimming, a New ward system passed board wants a provincial operat- hiring freeze, and deleting pro- ing grant increase of 7.3 per cent grams and activities. An increase By Frances McAneney presented one of many proposals to city council next year and another six per cent in the tuition charge for visa stu- that were abandoned in favour for a proposal pre- after that. dents was also considered. How- Students can expect better representation in the sented by Councillors Downey and Williams. Though such hikes in govern- ever, the board "recognized that next municipal election as a result of a new ward Lewis' proposal, which would have increased ward ment funding would mean tuition these measures... will not be suf- system adopted by Waterloo City Council on 4 to include a larger student population, was re- fee increases would be held at ficient to alter in any fundamental March 6,1989. jected in favour of the Downey-Williams proposal five per cent for 1989-90, they way the budget situation." The new system divides the city of Waterloo which divided the student population into two sepa- would "not restore the ability of In October, university presi- into 7 wards electing 1 councillor from each. The rate wards. According to that plan "student electors the university to provide an ade- dent Leo Kristjanson warned the Mayor and 3 regional representatives are still are not concentrated in a single ward." Because stu- quate teaching and basic research coming financial crisis at the Uni- elected on an "at-large" basis, increasing the size of dents usually live here for three or four years and program," states a recently- versity of Saskatchewan will city council to 11 members. then leave (they) do not have a permanent stake in released board report. make past cutbacks in services The concentration of the student population into the city." The report slated further that the Downey- It further states, "Such an in- seem Utopian. wards 4 and 6 will enable students to have a larger Williams proposal was the only one that was fair to crease would only maintain (the "These cuts and reductions voice in city council through their elected represen- all Waterloo residents. university's) current level of ac- will make the last three or four tatives. "We will be better able to represent our The ward system, said Lewis, may increase stu- tivity and service." years appear a Utopian era in the concerns to city council," said Wendy Rinella, dent participation in municipal elections if they Tuition fees have gone up by university's financial history," Vice-President: University Affairs at University of have a councillor who is more interested in student 13 per cent over the last two said Kristjanson. Waterloo Federation of Students. However, she concerns. years. Two years ago, the univer- continued, "I have mixed feelings (because), I think Provincial Education Minister sity's college of arts and science we get fine representation now." The long term objective of student government Lome Hepworth withheld com- introduced enrolment quotas for Stuart Lewis, Vice-President: University Affairs is to increase student voter turnout to a level in ment pending the release of the the first time in the history of the elect at Wilfrid Laurier University Students' Union, Waterloo where student concerns will be addressed.

SOME CASH' Last call for applications for 1989-90 at: I

& job ' °great experience, too! TT S 1 r WW -XLJ112t %J) o> JL I

- Typing Services Manager Editors Keystone Responsible for Q I - Infrtcentre Staff IlllUUeilUe Ola 11 yearbook -w II V&erage of campus I - Infocentre Summer Staff \j Staff and volunteers. Earns I stipend (Sept.-April). I A ji-v MgtyjKeystrnS : Production L*n. forv, 31,1989 a, 4:3 0 p.m. in WLUSU Offices Sort of an assistant editor, the production manager oversees the physical production of the yearbook for a $500 honouraria. - Wilf's Staff Photo Technician: Keystone I - Turret Staff I Responsible for the developing and printing of all I photos for the yearbook. Earns $250 honouraria plus I " uames HOOm v>tBtt commission for any outside work. I GrapMcArts Technician Apply Now! I Responsible for all graphic photo work for Student I Publications (halftones, line shots). Earns $350 I Applications Available at..... honouraria plus 40% commission on outside work. I wlu personnel office Applications close at 4:30 on Monday, I 232 King St. North March 27. Forms and more information I

.. ~ .... . „ (across' from the A.C.) . IO | are available at WLUSP. i The Cord Weekly 6 Thursday, March 23,1989 NEWS ENVIRONMENTALLY Speaking Green Week awakens WLU News Commentary ing to eat meat. The woman next they really are. And it was not un- By Alison Wearing to me leaning against her floor- til I was harassed for its con- Green Week has given me length fur and sawing into a sequences that I began to under- by Ian C. Morton new insights into the state of chicken leg was then pointed out stand the point. humanity at Laurier. as "consistent." Imagine how lucky we are to find 20 latex balloons in the Assuming the truth of a It was at this point that I de- trees We in Canada are blessed with approximately two million square a devastating tragedy. I am not choice selection of last week cided that destructive com- in kilometres of productive forest, arguably our greatest resource. Yet any way condoning their use, comments would make me a placency was a far greater crime but society and industry have put little thought into its management for let's not forget the purpose hypocritical lesbian Marxist, and than hypocrisy. We live in a of the future generations. This threatens not only the economy but also the exercise. I may have Green Week a euphemism for a world in which people produce been environment. slandered by a few self-righteous deceptive Communist plot. plastics to combat waste and The economic value of our forests cannot be underestimated. idiots last week, but gruesome The "communist" accusations write on paper to save trees. Each year this sector produces 52.3 billion worth of shipments annual- On Friday afternoon a woman ly. Net export amount to $13 billion a year, not to mention the multi- Alison Wearing, Green Week at sight of out- When it comes down to bal- billion dollar recreation and tourism industry. Forestry employs either Organizer, is neither 'Marxist livid the balloons side the Central Teaching Build- loons or people, which would directly or indirectly one million persons. pig' nor 'Lesbian hypocrite.' ing spat the word "hypocrite" in you rather see dangling lifeless- However, only a fraction of all forests are replanted. Currently an And she doesn't appreciate my face. Without a doubt, the use ly from the branches of a eighth of our productive forest is denuded of trees. In 1983 only one being called such. of balloons was a mistake, and defoliated tree? quarter of the 8,000 square kilometers harvested were replanted. Of sufficient time to mull over the these, forty percent will have perished within the first year. in- came as no surprise by Even and the idea would have undoubtedly led torture for holding such an event dustry, historically ignorant of the problem, acknowledges that there end of the week, they were my me to reject it completely. Yes, was never a threat. Put into the will be a scarcity of trees for pulp, with demand exceeding supply by favourite source of comic relief. there were alternatives. Yes, latex proper perspective, we can as soon as 1995. It doesn't take much to agitate the is harmful to the environment. certainly be grateful that our The environment of the harvested area is decimated. The techni- lingering paranoid cold warriors. And yes, that makes me a greatest concern-although quite que most often used by logging companies is clear cutting which es- I can recall watching several of hypocrite. valid, and I do apologize-is bal- sentially removes all growth from the chosen area. This practice leads Laurier's clean-cut yuppies-in- However, one thing should be loons and not death squads. to soil erosion and exposes young seedlings to the powerful rays of training frothing at the mouth in kept mind. The organizers of Green Week had a purpose, the sun, often leaving them as nothing more than little brown sticks. front of the Music Association's in peace rally-the and the cited comments prove Like the great rainforests to the south, the habitat of many wild "Nicaraguan Benefit Concert" the Chileans from Latin America Day-have a very that if nothing else, Laurier was animals is destroyed. Traditional spawning grounds of salmon are booth. If raising money to buy different set of priorities then we, temporarily shaken out of its removed due to the buildup of sill in once clear rivers. Big mammals music for an impoverished or- and understandably so. Having casual complacency. I think that I such as grizzly bears cannot survive unless vast areas of wilderness chestra constitutes being a com- witnessed the actions of the death can now leave WLU satisfied exist. munist pig (or a "leftist slut"), with my contribution squads, sobbed for relatives tor- and with Under ideal conditions it will take trees fifty years to reach har- then I guess I am guilty as what I learned in the process. tured daily, and having been ar- vest potential. Yet, the forestry industry pays little attention to charged. I still cringe at of rested for expressing political the sight siviculture (weeving, trimming, and destroying competing vegeta- A hypocritical lesbian? Only latex in the trees, in views critical of the government, but the same tion). This means little emphasis is placed unensuring that young one half of the statement is cor- breath I am relieved that they are their top priority has become plantations succecd and mature into commercial forests for tomor- rect. For some bizarre reason I only balloons, not peace. and swaying row. enjoy men enormously, (despite corpses. So as each day trie wilderness is awakened by the sound of heavy the crap a relationship normally To the Chileans, the idea of [Editor's Note: Alison Wearing road-building equipment, the buzz of chainsaws and the thunderous entails), so that leaves "hypocriti- launching a peace campaign that was almost solely responsible for scream of trees hitting the forest tloor one after another, it becomes cal." I was once labelled a carried itself outside of Laurier's the planning and organization of imperative that we direct more concern to our greatest resources and hypocrite for wearing a string of campus was the ideal way to last week's Green Week ac- ensure through proper technique, that it is available for future genera- leather around my neck but refus- remind Canadians how fortunate tivities.) tions.

TURRET TURRET TURRET TURRET LETTERMEN' S CLUB PRESENTS THIS IS YOUR OPPORTUNITY TO INFLUENCE THE DESIGN OF THE TURRET! "It's your BAR, What do you want to do with it?" Your student union will invest approximately $200 000 to renovate the Turret beginning this summer. A designer has been hired and needs all the student input we can get! Let us know what you like (or hate) about the music, decor, service, prices, etcetera currently at the Turret. We want your input!

Write down your ideas here, and return to the infocentre or attend the TURRET OPEN FORUM NEXT WEDNESDAY 11:15 in the Concourse. RNAL BASH THUR. MARCH WITH 30/89 SOUR MASH CROATION CATHOLIC CENTRE 180 SCHWEITZER RD. KITCHENER

TICKETS' $3.00 TN ADVANCE $5.00 AT DOOR

• (INCUUDING TRANSPORTATION) === DOORS OPEN AT 8:00 P.M.

TICKETS AVAILABLE IN CONCOURSE The Cord Weekly NEWS 7 Thursday, March 23,1989 NFB films showcase sexism

MONTREAL (CUP) - In classic stronger solutions than the usual Other women who located podium documentary style, happy marriage drivel. their husbands soon found their Rosemary Brown's lectures are "You can turn it around," she alimony swallowed up in legal interspersed with footage of old says. "Get in there and fight. fees. women muttering at peeling Question the decision-makers. Manitoba is the only pro- wallpaper, exhausted teen Your generation is more informed vince in Canada with an automat- mothers, ragged women pawing and better educated than most. ic court collection system. The bruised produce at donation cen- You can create a revolution." province's payment rate has in- ters, and sweatshop drudgery. When one woman complains creased from 15 to 85 per cent. The film No Way! Not Me! -- that other students ignore or On the other hand, Quebec Yes You, My Pretties, showcases malign the women's centre, governments will chase down the the former British Columbia cabi- Brown replies that apolitical husbands of women on welfare, net minister giving fresh-faced people are unrealistic. but keep the money collected as a Toronto high school students a "When someone tells me welfare subsidy. The husbands rundown on North America's they're not interested in politics, I are then able to claim their ex- rapidly growing social class, poor know I'm talking to a fool," she wives as dependents on their in- women. says. come tax, although the women Brown cautions female stu- Although Brown graphically receive nothing. dents against the 'Prince Charm- depicts the effects of women's In the film, Thomas finally ing' myth and warns them to take poverty, she doesn't elaborate on lands a secretarial job but still care of themselves: "Men are the causes. She 'lets slip' that the can't afford the 'dreamhouse' prepared to be rich. Women are Canadian economy depends on she's settled in. taught to lay around looking poverty, but stops short of over- She apologizes for returning beautiful, waiting to be swept off whelming the unsuspecting to her husband, who has curbed their feet." young minds before her. Nor does his drinking problem, and has Director Ariadne Brown mention the double dis- purchased a "little farm with a Ochrymovych's movie is part of crimination against women of pond, some ducks, maybe some the National Film Board's ethnic minorities, something she, horses." Old dreams die hard. Feminization of Poverty series, a black woman, surely must expe- "I've survived. I'm much which addresses the reasons why rience. Brown ends by reminding stronger, and no one can push me one in every six women lives in the 'kids' that a male high school around anymore," she says. poverty. dropout earns more than a female Apparently this is true, be- community college graduate. cause Joan ended leaving Single mothers are a rapidly up her Oh, those fun-loving grad students were whooping it up in the husband three months later growing social class, whether by Judge sick of "crying women" and Paul Martin Centre last week to hand out achievement awards moving back into a teen pregnancy, divorce or deser- The NFB's For Richer, For shelter. for students who were particularly involved with the Grad move- Marriage a source of poverty tion. Poorer, also directed by ment this year. Single motherhood imposes Ochrymovich, addresses the new Montreal family law lawyer "Marriage simply or 20 children, gets same the double burden of kids and recruits swelling the ranks of the Miriam Grasby blasts Qu6bec's is a source she the amount of money. And now - of the work. Few are educated or trained North American poor educated, 'atrocious' divorce and property poverty. More and more province is trying to (reverse the well enough to plunge back into white, middle class women. codes, which she calls the worst women are ending up on wel- declining birth rate and) get the workforce. TTiose that do face Exploring Toronto housewife in Canada. fare." Ontario women to have more children," unequal wages, limited access to Joan Thomas' escape from her "Women in automat- Not only do Quebec's family ically half of everything after says Rodowski. daycare, and dirty dishes in the abusive husband, the film opens get laws work against women, but the divorce. The assumption that men kitchen sink when they get home. with a still of the blonde bride Women in Quebec get province's new welfare bill does nothing," she financially support women is smiling at her white wedding, says. too, according to McGill School Over 75 per cent of divorced written into the welfare law. If a then rejoins her several years Women's groups have been of Social Work professor Lisel husbands duck out of child sup- woman lives with a man for later, moving between welfare pressuring the provincial govern- Rodowski. more port, and there are few services to than a year, she must prove he is shelters. ment since 1985 to give women Bill 37 divides welfare help women track them down. their not supporting her or her welfare "It's not fair. After the half the home and half hus- recipients into two categories, apt Even using available services, will be cut by $80 per month. divorce, my husband bought a band's pension, but several and inapt. Those physically able women rarely see much of the government And according to Susan new sportscar, and I wound up on provincial ministers to work are penalized for not par- money owed them. Moorehead, chair of Co-operative welfare," Thomas says. have successfully blocked the ticipating in community work or bill. Housing of Montreal, if high - training programs. The Despite the bleak prospects, Women's standard of living jobs, says "Maybe if I were less fat, less Rodowski, are usually low- rents don't keep women in Brown assures women they don't decreases by 73 per cent after English, and less old, they would paying, part-time, non-union shelters, discrimination will. have to sacrifice love and mar- divorce, while a man's goes up by 42 percent. pay more attention to me," says positions in the service sector and "Single women who are riage, but they'd better find a man Grasby. young, have kids, are on welfare, who will share domestic merely perpetuate poverty. Women in the film recount A marriage is no or are of ethnic or sexual responsibilities. contract the legal hell they've encountered help. Mothers with children under minorities face hidden dis- The film cut to a pudgy dad collecting child support and "The irony of contracts is that six are considered capable of crimination from landlords," says coddling a baby while his nicely alimony from ex-husbands. they're only valid while the working, but unavailable. They Moorehead. coiffed wife works at a computer. One judge told a petitioner he woman is married. After the receive $690 per month if they "They are considered finan- High school boys in the audience was "sick of women crying in his divorce, there's no protection. have one child, and $792 if they cially unreliable and lose rolled their eyes. courtroom" and he couldn't help Women have to be taught to be have over one. credibility because there's no Luckily, Brown offers her. autonomous," she says. "Whether a woman has two man around to support them." Students from across globe to meet in Argentina By Derek Hrynyshyn to make university students, as Anyone interested in April 21, 1989. Students from all fund-raising to cover costs of future decision-makers in our representing Canada as a delegate disciplines are invited to apply. transportation to the conference. Four students from Canada society, aware of the issues that to the conference should contact Costs of accommodation and will have an opportunity to par- will affect them in their own part the "Youth Building the Future" travel within Argentina will be Students wishing to represent ticipate as delegates at an interna- of the world and the world as a office, c/o Faculty of Mathe- covered by the organization for other countries, or those seeking tional conference in Argentina whole. matics, University of Waterloo, four delegates, and applicants further information, can also con- later this year. The conference is The first conference was held Waterloo, Ont., N2L 3GI by may be asked to participate with tact the above address. being held to increase awareness in 1987, in Melbourne, Australia, among young people about global as part of the centenary celebra- issues that will affect their collec- tions at the Royal Melbourne In- Windsor divestment not in cards tive futures. stitute of Technology. At the end WINDSOR, Ont. (CUP) -- The University of Wind- to wait for a sub-committee to report back to the Last August, the University of of this event, it was decided to sor's president fed protesters pizza and let them board. Waterloo was host to the second make the conferences an annual sleep in his office but refused to budge on divesting The protest comes three months after the international "Youth Building the affair. the university's pension fund of South African- Ontario government passed the South Africa Act Future" student conference. Stu- Planning for the third confer- linked shares. absolving pension fund administrators of any legal dents from around the world ence, to be held in Buenos Aires, About 23 students stormed Ron lanni's office liability in connection with divesunent. Argentina this August, is now un- gathered there to discuss impor- February 21, demanding the president bring a mo- In 1986 students voted to have the board of tant global problems, and to try to derway. Delegates have been in- tion for full pension fund divestment to the univer- governors sell all the university's short term invest- work out some solutions to them. vited from countries around the sity's board of governors meeting the following ments in companies with links to South Africa. The to For five days, the group listened world discuss human rights, day. Twenty-four hours later, their support swelling board, however, refused on a faculty association re- to by met peace, of lectures experts and in education and the role to 150 students, the demonstrators marched to the quest to divest the pension fund of South African small groups to broach issues and scientists in the arms race, and meeting. But the motion was defeated 13-3. linked stocks because they were afraid disgruntled search for Nations solutions. United control of lanni told the protestors that the university was faculty would sue for decreased returns on the The goal of the conference is Antarctica, the Moon, and space. making rapid progress on divestment but he wanted fund's investment. The Cord Weekly 8 Thursday, March 23,1989 NEWS Day-care woe increased by uncaring Tories

MONTREAL (CUP) - Prime dren in Qudbec were without day policy states that quality "may derpayed." from l'Office des Services de Minister Brian Mulroney called care as parents and teachers differ depending on each individ- The average salary for Garde a l'Enfance. an election just as his $6.4 billion demonstrated against the new ual's own values." This came un- McGill Day Care Educators is Foreign students are not al- child-care program was being dis- policy in Quebec City. The march der fire in the federal plan, which $15,570. The centres recommend ways eligible for government cussed by the Senate Committee was organized by the Quebec gave provinces leeway to it be upped to $25,000 for an Ear- daycare subsidies. "With a work on Child Care. Parliament was Inter-Regional Day-Care Coali- determine their own standards. ly Childhood Educator with a BA permit they should be granted," dissolved, the bill put on ice and and $22,000 for an educator with said Neuman, "but eligibility has tion and two trade unions. Presently, "the government opponents such as the Canadian a CEGEP diploma. been very inconsistent" Director of the McGill Uni- recommends (educator to child) Day Care Advocacy Association "The government policy will versity Daycare Centres Marilyn ratios that are too high, groups Neuman said private breathed a sigh of relief. provincial help," said Neuman. "but won't Neuman calls the that are too large and does not re- daycares should receive govern- The group attacked the plan legislation big step. recog- bring salaries up to acceptable "a It quire all educators and directors ment funds, "if they are to exist at for its lack of national quality nizes the necessity of the govern- levels." to be qualified," said Neuman. all. Daycare is a social service standards and for not creating ment to initiate an upgrading of In addition to recommenda- The new policy supports providing education and enough day care spaces for daycare services and involves tions for stricter quality control training for educators but requires shouldn't be looked upon as a families which need them. more money. The financial plan and greater financial support, only one in three to be qualified. business." The government of Quebec is good. Some groups are jump- McGill Day Care Centres want to "This leaves day care open to announced a project in November ing the by reacting so nega- see adequate training for mem- "I don't see how a daycare gun poor quality," said Neuman. to double the number of daycare tively." bers, including parents; a greater centre can make a profit without spaces in the province within five The government proposes Added Neuman: "Day care subsidy for handicapped children cutting corners or raising fees. years. The plan budgets more changing the current $4.50-a-day- educators are grossly un- and infants and increased support Someone will be exploited." money for day care worker train- per-child-subsidy it pays directly ing and experimental day care to the centre to a sum equal to 45 programs. The governing Liberals per cent of a day care centre's University day-care lousy want to create more spaces in the revenue. workplace and in schools, add Opponents say push this will SASKATOON (CUP) - If you think trying to find it has more flexible hours and is more accessible to 2,000 jobs and make it easier for up day care fees and are critical a parking spot on campus is difficult, try finding a students. parents to set up non-profit of the fact that private, profit- daycare for child. "The life of a student is different than most centres. space your making centres will receive people's, you can have very different hours. None hopes to sign an Qu6bec government funding. "People register their children when they're of the institutional daycares have different hours agreement with Ottawa if the fed- to Confedera- born," said Shelly Adams, the chair of the board of According the that fit into such a life." eral bill is re-introduced, guaran- tion of National Trade Unions the directors for the University of Saskatchewan day teeing a 50 per cent cost split. move will create two separate care centre. A recent U of S student council study offers the Even if Bill C-144 is kept on systems of day care, one for the The centre offers 60 spaces. And Adams said possibility of 60 new spaces. They would rest on an hold, Ottawa will pay up to 30 rich and one for the poor. that's not nearly enough. October 1989 referendum in which students will per cent of the as yet un- Said Neuman, "Some day vote whether on fund a new building. Said Kathie Monro, a fourth-year arts and determined price tag on the pro- cares might be forced to take in Council president Ed Zerr said the planning science student and parent, "There is a long waiting vince's day care overhaul. The more kids, thereby reducing the committee thinks the new building is a prime op- list. They said two years when I talked to them portunity to policy takes effect April 1. quality of care, or be forced to relieve the daycare problem. three years ago. I've stopped looking because I've But three months after the raise their fees. "The student population is changing, more ma- found another spot off campus." plan was announced Monique "This may occur specifically ture students, more single parents; it's not a prob- Gagnon-Tremblay, the minister in lower income areas where day Donna Nienaber, assistant director of the lem that's going to go away, it's going to get worse. responsible for the Status of care centres are not as full as daycare said that of the 60 spaces a quarter are "It's so much easier for parents going to school Women and direction of the pro- McGill." taken up by children of students and another five or to have their children on campus. The alternative is vince's day care policy, is in Neuman is also critical of the six are employees. other daycare centres in the city, however, there are trouble. government's skirting of the issue Munro said on-campus students like it because very few spots available," said Zerr. On February 3, 11,000 chil- of quality in day cares. The \ £& x j \ Improved 112 "wf) (Parkdale II Plaza) \ Vie/ 746-4220 / \ University * # pH B— BHi VALUABLE COUPON ■■ MR Mg 7 Jst» . \ & | SAVE $4.41 | //, I [\\ Typesetting ■ Transparency Service | TWO SMALL j H , ■ PIZZAS i 2nd floor Student Union Building ! "with everything"" j Fo only l^Z^r' | | 'resume,

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beef, Italian sausage, ■ - - ground . . . ■ Toppings include pepperoni, ham, bacon, . green peppers, onions. Hot peppers and anchovies upon ■ OTpj- [ozUCSt ■ mushrooms, J tfe VTICCS ITI %-W,v- ' ZUltk a CfUlCktUm-aWUnd-1 u request (NO SUBSTITUTIONS OR DELETIONS). ■ r Valid only with coupon at participating Little Caesars Not valid with any ■ ~rr ■ lLi> Ul OOH884-2990 nrU/ OOH884-2991ADDA. UTILItttl(£ asfc -for | other offer One coupon per customer Canry out only | L-UU- UZ\JUI I I UT&T I \fr) professionatfy By students! BSH HI — VALUABLE COUPON — — WtM \ The Cord Weekly NEWS 9 Thursday, March 23, 1989 What a Year! 1988-89! Obligatory Year-end Round-up rest of us plebeians. Student Pubs staff, meanwhile, By Jonathan Stover never stayed sober long enough to find the lines in the first place. 1988-89. In local politics, former WLUer Scott Piat- It was a... school year. Yep, that pretty well de- kowski fared well in a losing NDP effort in scribes it. We'll highlight it anyway, though, so you Kitchener-Waterloo. The local Liberals lost as well, can relive a few thrilling moments with the news and then had internal control seized by pro-lifers. department. Re-elected incumbent Wally McLean just kept Those of you looking for 'Question of the chugging along. His resemblance to Benny Hill Week' or the Classified section, though, are hereby certainly couldn't have hurt him at the polls. advised that they're on pages 11 and 21, respective- The province increased tuition, while the WLU ly, so go to it. I mean, who reads the rest of the Senate erased the full-time Biz Dip. MacDonald newspaper anyway? For those three or four House lounges opened three months after the masochists who do read the news section: school year began. The Co-op department was at- WLU got a faculty union at the start of the year, tacked for pandering to corporate interests over the as a group of Psychology students so rudely found interests of students, as Co-op director John out in early March, when WLUFA abused the con- Thompson didn't prove to be the equal of his stitutional right of its members to act like Bluto in Georgetown basketball coach name-alike in Animal House. Recycling never really got off the countering the press. ground on-campus, although environment- conscious students could always drop off their ac- Karen Bird turned out to be a closet wind- cumulated paper, glass and cans in the single surfing fan, while A 1 Strathdee ran away with the WLUSU blue box in WLUSU Central. The univer- presidential election. The school crest, after stag- sity recorded a profit and WLUSU sort-of recorded nant centuries (okay, it was only a few decades) a deficit, but what else is new? was changed, although not for the $300,000 Parking continued to be a problem, as did tui- rumoured cost. tion, City Council, and the aesthetic appearance of the Aird Building, which was bought from Para- WATSHOP, a student-tenant liason program, mount Studios for $89.30 by the ever-money- was approved by Waterloo Council. Exclusionary conscious Administration. The Aird Building was, by-laws which limited the number of unrelated resi- of course, the Temple of Doom in the Indiana Jones dents in any one house were struck down by the movie of the same name. provincial government. Mayor Brian Turnbull, who Beer was served in the unlicensed Campus replaced Marjorie Caroll in November, was dis- Clubs room, causing great consternation. Beer was appointed by this decision. But all of us who want Guys served in the licensed Turret, but on days when the to lower our rent by living 40 to a bungalow were Tired News toilets exploded or whenever it wasn't Thursday, no delighted, pleased and slavering at the mouth like one much seemed to care at all. Student pub staff the pot-crazed freaks that Waterloo homeowners failed in its bid to be allowed to get drinks in the think we are. say 'Sayonara' Turret and Wilf's without waiting in line like the Take a bow. 1988-89. Now get outta here! By Bryan Christophe Leblanc and Jonathan Michael Stover It was the best of times, it was the worst of times. It was the year of three Editors-in-Chief, late stories, late nights, unattended classes and painful sobriety. And Mr. Brad Lyon ingesting all of the pizza before any of the News Department could get their muck-raking hands on it. In short, it was news time, and it was damned long if nothing else. We've decided to give out a few awards to our many and several inspirations this year, so bear with us. • Toast the Editor Award goes to Liz Jefferson for doing such a fine hatchet job on a certain position swap earlier this year. You helped us keep an eye on ourselves, and maintain our journalistic integrity. Thanks, Liz. • Co-op Acheivement Award this year belongs to Mr. Sean Stokholm for excelling in his investigation of the WLU Co-op Department. John Thompson, director of Co-op, never sounded better. • Toxic Waste Award for, you guessed it, lan C. Morton and his wonderful, insightful polemics about what is killing us every day. Thank you lan, we all rest much easier knowing that every damn thing we touch will either kill us, or has killed someone else. • The Pseudonym Awards to Nick Norway, Vladimir Bronstein, Guy Cabellero, a host of NCAA basketball coaches, Ralph Kramden, Bill Speaker demands PLO recognition Needle, Freddy Finland, Earl Camenbcrt, J. Jonah Jameson and many By Tim Sullivan must was never a valid point of policy. others too numerous to mention. sistent Middle East view, and must be abandoned U.S. Attorney • The Hapless Victim Award to all WLUSU types, Tories every- The former "Rights of everyone must be now," Clark stated. Canada where, anyone who likes the Razorbacks, ALL administrators of Uni- General believes that respected," was the opinion of Clark examined several his- rest versities nation-wide, government (esp. the Tory variety), the co-op should should follow the of Ramsey Clark, "even if you do torical instances when the strong the world and recognize department, all WLUSU types, bands who like to drink in the not like the person or group abused their position over the Palestine's right to exist. Campus Clubs Room, TAMIAE, the Marketing Department, the demanding the right." weak. This inevitably led him relatively low-key speech Editors-in-Chief (the whole triumvirate), WLUFA, all WLUSU types The Ramsey Clark was Deputy into the Middle East. "If any- a shouting match for a and a legion of other individuals we have mercilessly harassed this turned into Attorney General under U.S. where on Earth peace should be a University of year. Thanks for the laughs. short time when President John F. Kennedy and tried, it's in the Middle East," professor attempted to • Waterloo The Verbal Diarrhea Award to Karen Bird, who was always willing Attorney General under President Clark opined, "but not as things correct Clark. She claimed that to talk and talk and talk whenever a reporter's notebook or tape re- Lyndon B. Johnson, and he spoke are now." were equally corder came within a continent of her. Not that she ever said much, the Jews to about sixty people at the Uni- He explained that to achieve "Palestinians" and shouted out the but the effort was admirable. versity of Guelph last Thursday. in that heated area, a derivation of name • peace Biblical the The Private Investigator Award to Bill Casey, Detective, who blew Mr. Clark has been very con- Nations-sanctioned peace went on to say the lid off so many scintillating scoops that we can't even begin to list United 'Israel'. She that troversial during his long career conference coupled with Israeli was not as as Clark them here. It would be like writing down everything Karen Bird says Israel rich as a lawyer in the United Slates, recognition of Palestine as a legit- claimed. Clark responded by in an interview... and is currently representing the imate nation. In this case, Clark challenging her to visit Gaza or • The Little Happy Person Award will be shared this year by Frances Palestinian Liberation Organiza- stated, nations have a right West Bank to see the irriga- McAnency and Cori Ferguson-Cusak. The year would have been a lot both the tion. to the land, so both nations tion systems and military power different without the both of you. Clark was in charge of im- possesses. • to Karg, should own the land. Israel And the Our Favourite Fuehrer Award Tony our bestest plementing much of the prog- pal we felt like dab- Clark was sharply critical the Clark concluded by stating and all-around drinking buddy for those times ressive legislation on equal rights Hey, joking! Still United States' refusal to formally that both Israel and Palestine bling in some fun-loving and friendly fascism. just in the U.S. during the 60's. He pals? recognize Palestine, and its con- have only to gain should peace be calls himself a hopeless op- tinual financial support of Israel. achieved. They will stop losing In summation, it's been a swell year, and we hope that you've en- timist—he believes world peace equally critical of lives when the shoot- joyed reading the news section as much as we enjoyed putting it to- He was and money is possible if the strong recognize Canada's contradictory foreign ire raised gether. Actually, we hope you enjoyed it more, because otherwise ing stops. Many an was the rights of the weak. "The old policy, but gave External Affairs during Clark's hour of speaking you're a crazed masochist who should be locked up. saying that 'the strong do as they Minister Joe Clark top marks for and forty-five minutes of ques- See va in Hell, or Scarborough, whichever ccmes first. please and the weak suffer as they his attempt to develop a ccn- tions and answers. The Cord Weekly 10Thursday, March 23,1989

THE CORD WEEKLY Report card time again Why should we pass judgment on the elected (or appointed or ac- claimed) student officials on this campus? Well, it is our responsibility to the fee-paying students to analyze the performance of the individuals charged with spending all of that cash we give them. And who are we to judge? Maybe no-one, but our vantage point from down the hall is a little less cloudy than that of most students. So, here are the results of a year of eavesdropping and observing.

Karen Bird: Where was Karen? The overwhelming theme of the Karen Bird presidency was one of non-existence. What did she do? What were her stands on things? We can't remember. On the positive side, Karen was great to get quotations from, even though they often made no sense once analyzed. The Dwight D. Eisenhower of WLUSU will not be missed much. Grade: C- Wendy Watson: We try not to think of Wendy Watson because when we do the one image that keeps popping back into our minds is of her running out of the SUB after the Frosh Week over-budgeting scandal broke. She's probably a very nice person, and she is in charge of ordering the wine for the Volunteer Dinner, but other than that her contributions have been limited this year. Grade: D+ Jill Archer: It was touch and go for a while with Jill, but she pulled her marks up with a commendable effort in the second term. Real life lessons taught in 'Rude-gate' We got several letters to the editor thanking her for her efforts on Editor, The Cord: Tue seal hunt is far from the textbook pricing and securing the loan for the student-run play this slaughter of cute, furry baby seals work WATSHOP, the On- wants to term. Her with the municipal election, It seems that WLUFA LETTERS that Greenpeace' paints it to be. Task Force, bus discounts out out going Student Housing and pass take the ivory lower mentality Let's look at the real picture. An- shadowed things like the Health Plan and an occasional lack of direc- of Laurier. Some practical as op- TO THE nually, 1000's of parasite bearing B to theoretical lessons can tion. Grade: posed seals descend on the ice floes and Chris Gain: Chris has plodded along this year doing a respect- be learned from Rude-gate and its coast of Labrador and Newfound- although to To see you EDITOR able job managing the WLUSU coffers and he had be aftermath. if have land. They eat up the schools of at point to get cheques signed on time, he did manage to material, feel free to held gun mastered the fish that the humans of New- getting financing for the SUB elevator. He also spear- multiple-choice exam be- play a part in take the Right on Barbara! You had foundland depend on for their proposals, which headed the much-needed Turret Re-development low: some valid points to make. There livelihood. The fish that aren't in A new policy for WLUSU is were a long time coming. investment is, however, one point I would eaten are infested by the parasites on tap for next year, due largely to his efforts. All in all, he did a rea- 1) The "Real Life" lesson to be like to add. in the seals and rendered useless. sonable job in an unreasonable position. Grade: B learned from this entire episode While your example of the As a result, the catch is no good, she, and do at WLUSU? Heather Francis: Who is what did she is: working mother no doubt and faced with no viable employ- Officially, Marketing. just too it, it hap- her tide was Vice President: It's bad a) If I didn't see didn't portrays a slice of reality, the ment, the people of the outposts of a job at promoting the Student Union. Can any- she didn't do much pen. message may get misconstrued. go on welfare, and you know who one name things on by WLUSU? W.O.W. nights with running over- five put b) The offense of Most people have to work to pays for that. Condemning the marketing. She class is original bands were only one of the casualties of poor time while teaching a support themselves and their de- seal hunt simply because it isn't killed the weekly WLUSU page in The Cord earlier in the year. It punishable by interruption. pendents. Women are no excep- pretty is foolhardy and wasn't until Student Publications approached her that the page was c) Contrary to popular belief, the tion. But, as Gloria Steinem dangerous. reinstated so students had some idea of what was happening at WLU. main purpose of a proctor is not pointed out in her essay, "Why do Laurier should be careful in the Marketing involves much more than just glossy posters - it involves to prevent cheating; rather it is to women work?" (1983) women future when choosing supporters market research to find out what the consumers (us) actually want. prevent roving bands of people must not persist in maintaining for their events, so as to avoid ms Maybe someone should have pointed that out to her. Grade: F from entering the exam room. only the passive defense of "we low-brow elements like Green- Murray Jose: About the best thing that can be said for Murray is d) There is no noticeable dif- work because we have to." peace. that he's a nice guy. Unfortunately, nice guys finish last. The enter- ference between an exam in prog- Steinem writes: tainment this year has been poor; special events have been unoriginal; ress and an ordinary lecture. "A job as a human right is a Kirk Stouffer and Murray has been nearly invisible throughout most of it. If it e) Honest mistakes require no principle that applies to men as Honours Fishing weren't for some hard work by select BSA members things might apology. well as women." have been a lot worse. He was consistently bullied by the full-time 112) All of the above. A woman's right to hold a job WLUSU staff, and never really got going during his term. And that is must not be contingent on her Good work, Cord! a regrettable, but all too common, occurrence. Grade: F 2) Match the person's name with need, but on basic human rights question (note Editor, The Cord, Chris Starkey: Chris's year has been disorganized and unevent- the lesson from #1 — like freedom of choice. at ancient we in is still sitting in that names may be used more for the same ful best. The typesetter gave up May Women work I was glad to pick up The the hallway outside Wilf's. A computer policy that has been talked than once): reason that men work — because -Mickey Mouse Cord last week and discover 32 about all year may be in place by May. He has little control over the they have to, and sometimes be- I -Edcil Wickham pages of great stuff. can't re- WLUSP BOD and every one of the projects they have engaged in this cause they want to. member the last time The Cord yearremain undone to this day. His activities within WLUSU, not in- -John Weir quality -Doug Lorimer had so many pages, and cluding frosh week, have been minimal. His participation and contri- Kimberley Williams pages at that! The layout of the bution rate to the Operations Management Board were so small as to paper neat especially the 3) Bonus — What other was be non-existent. What Chris's year will best be remembered for is se- Question page, and of "Real Life" lessons can students Greenpeace commies front and back lective enforcement of policies and disregard for regulations. Grade: the front page of The expect from such sources as the course C-/D+ wonder, if all students Gov't, Banks, WLU, etc.: Editor, The Cord: Scene. I WLUSU Board of Directors: Who are these people and what do the realize how a) Might makes Right. who read paper they do? Grade: Incomplete Term Work time is 32 pages of b) Since some students are un- In regards to Green Week: much spent on copy. Good work, Cord! And remember, people get the government they deserve. trustworthy, we must protect our- Green Week seems to be a good selves by assuming all students idea, aimed at raising conscious- Kirk Nielsen are untrustworthy. ness on campus about various en- vironmental issues. The use of Bditorial opinion* are approved by The Cord Weekly on behalf of Cord staff and are c) Students are second class in cafeteria is independent of the University, the Students' Union and the Student Publications Board citizens. styrofoam cups the Reader disgusted by of Directors. a point well taken, but I must Yours Truly, protest about the presence of en- WLUFA's behaviour EDITORIAL BOARD Norman Wormald vironmental terrorists Green- an organization of Cord, Cori Ferguson, Editor-in-Chief Bryan C. Leblanc, News Editor peace. This is Editor, The Jonathan Stover, Associate News Editor Brad Lyon, Sports Editor blundering buffoons who take Neville Blair, Scene Editor Kat Rios, Production Manager rights severe actions against anything There seems to be some dis- Basic human they think is a sin against the en- crepancy as to what, if anything, The Cord Weekly is published during the fall and winter academic terms. Officei are considering happened during P249 exam Building, Wilfrid Laurier Univer- vironment without the located on the second floor of the Student Union at of 3rd, sity, 75 Univeraity Ave. W., Waterloo (519) 884-2990. The Cord Weekly is a member long term results of their actions. on the evening March of Canadian University Press and the Ontario Community Newspaper Association. Editor, The Cord: Their opposition to the seal hunt 1989. This doesn't really bother Copyright 1989, WLU Student Publications. No part of The Cord Weekly may be in Newfoundland is a prime ex- reproduced without the permission of the Editor-in-Chief. Re: Letter by Barbara McDonnell ample of this Celluloid bravado. The Cord Weekly 11Thursday, March 23,1989 The best of times, the worst of times Something that most students who bitch about Question the Cord do not realize is the amount of time and effort that goes into every issue. Behind the scenes From the some of the most talented people at Laurier, and in Editor's Desk the community, work together to bring you what is arguably one of the better student newspapers in the country. people Week Since the who work up here rarely get of the any praise, except at the annual WLUSU Volunteer Thanks to the BSA and Marie Gilkinson for Dinner, I would like to take this space to show my trying to bring innovative entertainment to the gratitude to all who've made my job as editor a school. You guys did your best. Also, thanks to Where's the best place to hide an Easter egg? little easier. Emmanuel Patterson from UW, Lyle Halcro from By Kat and Sarita The section editors and production manager of Phil's Grandson's Place, Marlene Batchelor at the the Cord have worked very hard to try and get the Centre in the Square for providing us with com- information you want to see out to you every week. plementary tickets to review the shows around They donate at least thirty hours a week to this pub- town. And to Bill Banham from WEA Music, Jud lication on top of their school work. Although Meraw and Steve Blair from CTI, Marianne we've had disagreements, I still believe they are to Krajacic from Capitol-Emi and Maureen Shea from be commended for efforts above and beyond the Virgin Records thanks for continually supplying us "Up your bum." call of duty. with up-to-date information from the entertainment Joanne Mackie Every Tuesday night a great team of copy world. 3rd yr Communications editors and production assistants straggle in to take Our Golden Hawk teams have provided us with the ideas of the editorial board and turn them into reason to stand up and be proud. Thanks to every reality. Good design and layout can make even the athlete who gets out there and fights for the reputa- most poorly written story something that people tion of the school, every fan who supports them, want to read and it is because of this element of the and every coach that leads them. Throughout the staff that things look good. And thanks to the dedi- year coaches and athletes alike have been available cated core of production volunteers who do it for for comment in our stories, and have helped fled- nothing more than a piece of pizza and a chance to gling reporters mature into insightful com- see how awful everyone looks by five in the morn- mentators. And special thanks to the Hawkey ing. Hawks for giving us something to write about in Writers and photographers have had to put up March. Way to go guys. You'll remain champions "Under Mark Gibson's bed." our eyes. with last minute phone calls from desperate section in Jason Walker events. hardships endured, editors begging them to cover They've writ- Despite the the late nights, Ist yr Geography ten stories only to never see them in print. They've the screaming fits and the ulcer I have probably de- gone to venues only to find out they weren't on veloped since May, I am proud of the Cord Weekly. guest lists. But despite all this, they've hung in to It has continually improved since we first came into the end and submitted top quality material to fur- our jobs with no training and only some under- ther the cause of student journalism. standing of what we were supposed to be doing. With regard to the movers and shakers of the To everyone who whispered words of en- world, I'd like to thank WLUSU for continually couragement when there seemed to be no light at doing things that we could report on in our news the end of the tunnel, your belief in us is greatly ap- section. Without you guys we could never have preciated. broken stories like "Coin toss decides CSSC profit And lastly, the newspaper is not going to go issue". away without one more mention of these guys. Thanks to The Razorbacks for providing us with a Thanks to students like Robert Cameron for "In my jock. Would that please musical shot the arm Tuesday night as we keeping the letters section alive and always con- in every you?" put the paper to bed. I'm not sure if Sandy, troversial. Your input is always welcome, and it Kat and Smith I could have done it without that tape. John keeps a check on what we're doing. And thanks to 3rd yr Sociology the comment writers and our cartoonist, Steve Best of luck Laurier. Rest assured, I'll remem- Giustizia, for coming back on board. ber you long after I'm outta here. BLOOM COUNTY by Berke Breathed

"Inside the toilet tank." Sukie & Anne 3rd yr Sociology and 3rd yr Business

"I'd hide two." Donna Cameron 3rd yr Psychology

"Behind the stove." Azrael Wert 4th yr Morgue The Cord Weekly 12Thursday, March 23,1989 Grad ically and ecologically feasible; and educate local people in the Turret security: & me -1 know what I saw and heard implementation of such alterna- T-shirts Sweatshirts ■- but in light of the fact that the tives. The long term cost of such Start waking up proctor in charge of the examina- protection is a mere $25 per acre. Editor, The Cord: on SALE tion is, in my opinion, being un- Therefore a belated thanks to duly discredited I find I must put Phil's Grandson's Place, to the This is in response to Bobby in the Concourse pen to paper and state my views club members who helped Cremins article, 'Turret Coat on the evenings' "entertainment". organize the event, to bands who Theft'. TODAY There is no doubt that there donated their time and energy, to I was left stunned after read- was a disruption towards the end Amstel Breweries, and to every- ing the article, especially from the - March 22 31 of the exam period. Certain ob- one who bought a ticket and comments voiced by Rob noxious individuals were helped protect 1/5 of an acre of Langley. My first question to Mr. demanding entry and finally de- Langley is, when was the last

rain forest.' cided they would act like mature time Turret security were adults and wait until 7:04 pm. at Sincerely, evaluated on the job? it's time. which time they proceeded to en- Cathy Merriman Maybe ter the examination room. Their My roommate and I were at behavior was atrocious and in- the Turret just before reading excusable. Bookstore manager week and almost had our jackets I came away from the exam stolen. We were dancing when wondering who these rude people proud of students we noticed someone shuffling could be. I must say I was Editor, The Cord: through our things, so my room- shocked and very disappointed mate went over to check out what when I later discovered they were I want to express a special was happening. When she didn't faculty members. I hold only the thanks to Jill Archer and to all return immediately I went to find Mm highest regard for any WLU fac- in the survey her. She had been arguing with who participated ulty with whom I have had asso- and petition regarding textbook two guys who were about to leave ciations. I am sad to have to in- prices. I was proud of your efforts with her Laurier jacket. When she tegrate this profile into my con- and to be able to take the results stopped and asked them to give it cept of university. along to a symposium of College back, they told her to prove she My greatest sorrow, however, publishers and bookstore man- was the owner. She told them to is to view the subsequent attempt agers (25 publishers and 37 man- look at the name on the left hand by the intruders to shift the blame agers) in Toronto on Feb. 27, to side. During that time someone 600KSALE for this unfavourable event on to distribute them and use them in else picked up my jacket, took the the proctor. Putting aside the fact the discussions. As a direct result lining out and started to walk out that the latter handled the situa- of your input I feel that the deci- with it. I noticed him as I was tion in the most competent and sion to conduct a nation wide sur- walking towards our table, he was diplomatic manner, this action on vey of students regarding carrying my jacket in his hands Thursday, March 30 the part of the faculty representa- textbooks was made. So you can while wearing his own. I chased tives is the most preposterous have the satisfaction of "getting after him (both of us had to pass logic I have ever heard. the message across that it is time the security guards), yelling from What will they think of next? to listen to the students and what the top of the stairs for him to - is being said. Congratulations are give it back. He was mid-way pm Jacqui Crebolder in order, again especially to Jill down the first flight, when he 9:30 am. 5:00 Archer, and we shall all be look- turned around and handed it back ing with anticipation to seeing to me. When I re-entered the Tur- Environmentalists this done and hearing the results. ret, I was stopped because I was Teims Cash i If a greater sensitivity to the very not allowed back in after 12:30 >—n»iiifn»ii»ii»iiii»ii»wii«ii»iiiimmmmwn——m»n—nnnn»i»iin

If it could be drawn, the mind of Terry Gilliam might very well look like , THE one of the set designs for his films, j "Time Bandits," "Brazil" or, most verything. Somehow, people believed tour affords. "He's first of all a very in- recently, "The Adventures of Baron lat technology would bring happiness, teresting movie maker, as you know, but

Munchausen." t all had to do with the song Brazil ... he's an artist in the sense that all These designs are an exuberant, im- eople relieved both in technology and wonderful artists are. He's un-

possible junk heap of images from the scape to Rio." compromising ... Terry Gilliam knows 20th century; images from fairy tales and It is instructive too, to listen to Gil- exactly what he wants to see up on the myths, from the history of art and ar- iam describe how he created the look of screen. chitecture of all periods and civilizations, he film almost haphazardly. In his "I think part of his incredible stub- from a past and a future never con- lagerness to explain, Gilliam's sentences bornness and courage was asking me to templated. >ile up on one another, words tumble do the film in the first place, because it His imagination is highly unusual, >ut. would have been so much easier a ride highly volatile — though he claims he "In the case of Brazil," he begins, "I for him if he had had (an actor with) a name, which I'm not. does not dream and finds his own films :ept saying this takes place everywhere bankable uncompromis- to be disappointingly normal. His n the 20th century -- so begin with that. "But that's part of his extraordinary film- sensibility is unmistakably that of a Jo you get clothes from the '40s, tech- ing attitude. He's an call cartoonist, with a natural predilection for lology that's a bit like the '80s and '90s, maker, and don't think it's fair to extreme caricature, cruel humour, the )ut also a bit like the '30s, so you start him just an art director." grotesque and dark. nixing things. And some things happen Neville says he was "quite stunned In person, he is a friendly, ust because we got some old teletype and bowled over" by Baron Mun- enthusiastic man with a loud, frequent nachines really cheaply. It's all very chausen. And Sting, whose appearance laugh. It becomes obvious his ex- simple. in the film marks perhaps the shortest yet uberance is not singularly driven by the "I'm a cartoonist, so I see things in of his screen appearances, says the mania of a studio-funded promotional extreme forms. In Mom's apartment in movie made him feel like a child, and he tour. He has jokingly referred to his new 3razil, those ducts are going through did not want it to end. film, The Adventure of Baron Mun- intique tapestries, they're going through Perhaps all it takes then is the faith of fairy-tale chausen, as the fourth in a trilogy. mtique mirrors ... people just put them in a child to accept and enjoy the Despite his off-handedness however, where it's easiest for the guys who put sensibility of Gilliam's latest film.

there are themes which unite his small ;he ducts in - not the best place aestheti- His next project, Gilliam says, will be canon: the failure of technology to ;ally. a relatively quick one in comparison to satisfy fundamental human needs and "It was always about that -- aesthetics his earlier films, whose concepts and problems, the horrifying prevalence of being secondary to people wanting scripts demanded long, labour-intensive

consumer capitalism and cultural things -- people wanting the services, preparation. poverty, and the tight-rope walk between whether it be telephones, televisions, His subject is "Watchmen," which he fantasy and reality. wanting those things more than living in describes as a comic cult in America "The main character in every film," a beautiful place." whose symbol is a happy face bes- Gilliam points out, "is a dreamer or a Gilliam fervently believes our culture mirched by a splash of blood. It seems or someone fantasizer who invents his is intellectually and aesthetically im- an appropriate starting point for Gil- worlds, own either in his dreams (Time poverished. He speaks of a recent visit to liam's wicked sense of cruel fun. Bandits), or as a way of escaping (Bra- the Metropolitan Museum of Art in New Set in Manhattan, the film will actual- zil) or ultimately as the world he chooses York. "If you look at the history of paint- ly be shot in London — a satisfying twist to live in - which is the Baron Mun- ing and imagery and visual art, the world for Canadians who are weary of having chausen." is a much richer place. Years ago, people their cities serve as stand-in for movies However, Gilliam's treatment of seemed to accept far more amazing set in the United States. dreaming throughout the trilogy has been things than we've got even in Baron Gilliam himself is clearly pleased both cynical -- as in Brazil, whose Munchausen." with this notion. protagonist retreats into madness as a Now, Gilliam says with a derisive "I like the idea of trying to force way of escape - and unapologetically snort, "we've got used car salesmen on London into a mold that looks like Man- optimistic « as with Baron Munchausen. TV, we've got deodorant ads ..." In his hattan," he says, then adds, "Don't know The apparent discrepancy does not view, people in general have become how I'm going to do that." disturb Gilliam. "That's just the way I obscenely lazy, accepting only what the He'll find a way. am," he says with a grin. "All these modern media gives them in its multiple things are just part of the dialogue I'm guises of advertising, television, glossy ] carrying on with myself... magazines and rock videos. "I don't think Brazil is a cynical The Adventures of Baron Mun- ending, nor do I think it's a pessimistic chausen is intended, in the director's ending. I think it's, under the circum- words, "to amaze the new generation like I stances, the most optimistic ending films used to amaze me .. When I was a could come up with - it's a genuine way ikid, films blew me away time and time

out. I mean, I've seen some mad people 'again - and they tended to be spec-' OF who are far happier than I am." jtacular films and extraordinary adven- The links between Gilliam's films are itures and that's really what I set out to more than thematic, however. They are 'do in this one. In many years, I've wedded by expert art direction and set icrammed all the films of my youth into design, which fuses form to content. Gil- lone film here." liam designs each film personally, with Gilliam cites "the Wizard of Oz," the collaboration of his art directors. i"Pinocchio" and"The Thief of Baghdad" Brazil was a 20th century junk heap i- "one of the most memorable films in of technology, costume and architecture, |my life" - as antecedents to Baron Mun- an uneasy amalgamation for a world chausen. which was to represent a fable of North 1 However, it may very well have been American society. [this attempt to cram too many ideas into One of the terms applied to Gilliam's I the film that is particularly responsible] art design was retro- ■for its failings. The structure is highlyi tech: forcing together technology from i episodic, the characters reduced to the the future (or at least the present) with I broadest of caricatures, all the energy ab- that of the past. A perfect example were [ sorbed by the monumental set design, the computers in Brazil, which were out- i One criticism sometimes leveled at moded teletype machines hooked up to i Gilliam is that he is primarily an art video monitors. [ director, and only secondary a director of The foreignness cf the world in Brazil i people. tricks us into thinking it is a future vi- Actor John Neville, who brought his sion. It is not. The technology in Brazil J classical stage training from Stratford to is regressive, superfluous and faulty. i Gilliam's fairy-tale, feels this appraisal is And this is Gilliam's statement of the [ unfair. role of technology in our century. i"I can say this since he's not present "I chose that look because it was at a • here," Neville says, with all the genuine time when progress was the answer for ! candour a studio-funded Dromotional tiSHIIIIBIIIIIIHIIIIIB ADVENTURE BARON MUNCH NESUA The Cord Weekly 14 Thursday, March 23,1989

FIGURE OUTI

ALL

CANADIAN HISTORY. Match each picture with its name: One proud Canadian. Stationary Mash Machine. Belt-driven keg scrubber. Sturdy Oak Keg. Horseless beer wagon. Frozen stiff and loving it. Stairway to Heaven. Magic beer tap. Copper brew kettle. Monument to good taste. The Cord Weekly 15 Thursday, March 23,1989

"The rarest of these specialists is an authentic genius - a person capable ofhaving seemingly good ideas not in general circulation. 'A genius working alone," he says, "is generally ignored as a The Scene lunatic.'" . K urt Vonnegut Frozen Ghost melts frigid Turret crowd got rolling powerful By Todd Bird with the "Yum Bai Ya" from their debut album. If you figured that your school work was more important The band rocked the sur- than attending the Frozen Ghost prisingly large Turret crowd with concert at the Turret Wednesday, such hit songs as "Pauper In Para- March 15th, you definitely made dise", "Promises", "Better To the wrong choice. Try", "End Of The Line", and the popular "Round and Round" and

Frozen Ghost, winner of "Should I See". . 1987's "Most Promising Group" Juno award, consists of original Frozen Ghost was in fine members singer Arnold Lammi form. Only five songs into the set, on acoustic guitar, and bassist they lured the masses onto the Wolf Hassel.' dance floor. Lammi's unique vo- cals and crazy sense of humour, The two-member band recent- combined with Phil X's guitar ly expanded their roster. New style, highlighted the show. lead guitarist Phil X joined Mediocre studio tracks such Lammi and Hassel for their sec- as "Step By Step", "Suspended ond album, Nice Place To Visit', Humination", and "Mother Na- they are currently touring the ture" all came alive on stage U.S. and Canada as a six-member through a tight mixture of raun- unit with Pier Bordeleau on key- chy guitar, acoustic percussion, boards and guitar, John Bouvette saxophone, and keyboard tex- on drums and John McCarthy tures. playing saxophone and key- boards. After playing a set of fourteen songs, Frozen Ghost came back Lanni and Hassel are former onstage to play two encore members of the defunct Canadian pieces. The first of the two was a band Sherrif but Frozen Ghost do well-received country "Swing not intend to ever perform any your partner" instrumental featur- Sherrif songs in concert despite ing one of the best arrangements the success of the departed out- of the night, and the second was fit's single "When I'm With You" an extremely energetic version of in North America. The band was "Hard Day's Night" that would dissolved when Lammi, principle have made even Mr. Lennon writer, quit the group. proud. Warming up the Turret: Lead singer of Frozen Ghost, Arnold Lammi, were able to draw enough folks So, for those of you who Coming off a gig the night be- to the licensed gymnasium to make the performance a real concert. Even though the group didn't play the over Ghost last fore in Shawinigan, Quebec, the passed Frozen Sherrif hit, "When I'm With You", during the set, their energetic performance and imaginative music week, you missed of the best group finally strode onto the one seemed to please all those in attendance. Photo by Marc Leblanc concerts at WLU this year. stage just after 10:30. ~*ie ball 'Spirit of Radio' now a memory By Brad Driver The Smiths, R.E.M. and so on. songs to major movie sound- Groups like these and others pro- tracks; even The Clash hit the vided endless and untried tireless yuppie market by releasing all of The other night CFNY was material that allowed the Spirit to their albums on CD. premiering Madonna release off a program an entire day of music her new album. I guess it wasn't without repeating any songs. At problem until then that I realized The The is that there are the same time, campus stations not enough bands filling the void Spirit of Radio really was dead. across North America picked up left behind by these newly creat- on the same fresh energy that was Simply Mumbling rites in my ed mega-groups. put, the last emerging in the music industry, head, couldn't help but feel there's hardly any talented prog- I and suddenly new wave became sorry for the station. CFNY has ressive alternative bands left out the ultra-cool format. there today. Don't me wrong. received a lot of bad press over get not saying there aren't at the past few months, and yet it I'm any all, but they're certainly not to be would seem that nobody has When I started working at the taken the time to find out exactly found in the same numbers as station back in 1986, I noticed they were 10 years ago. why these changes have taken two trends that were beginning to place. It's too easy just to scream affect new wave alternative that they've sold out to Top 40 music. It seemed that all of the And that is why, until recent- hits. Having worked at the station groups were either on their way ly, CFNY's ratings were slowly for almost three I thought years, up or on their way out fast. Most dropping. New wave music was I stop the change of format and the maybe could shed some light on that surfaced during no longer very new or exclusive of the bands "agony of repeats", I have to a situation that has left most that didn't anymore; people were getting this era died. Those wonder what kind of music it is listeners feeling angry and out in their nation-wide un- tired of hearing "Tainted Love" rode they want to hear. I can't deny the cold. radio exposure all the "Mirror the Bathroom" derground and in that it's very sad to see The Spirit over and over again. It became To begin with, it's important way to the top. Groups like U2 of Radio fade into an adolescent apparent that it wasn't a question to realize that it was new wave and R.E.M. are now heard on al- memory, but its time has come of whether or not to change, only and punk rock music that created most every station on the dial. and gone. Telling them to stop when and how to do it. CFNY, not the other way around. Even ex-Bauhaus crooner, Peter the change is kind of like yelling In the early 80's there were Murphy, can be heard on CHUM- at the gas bar attendant that gas countless undiscovered bands like FM. New Order and Echo and the When I think of all those prices are too high. There's really U2, The Clash, Depeche Mode, Bunnymen were lending their people petitioning the station to not much they can do about it. The Cord Weekly 16 Thursday, March 23,1989

Whistling Elk and Ruby Plenty world of fantasy for her readers to money, is Lynn V. Andrews. Chiefs) were actually adapted indulge in. Also included on this list are the Page from his deceased aunts, Agnes, Several other charges of fac- renowned writers Rev. John The Other and Ruby. tual contradiction have been fired Crazy Horse and Bill Turtle. Steve Coyote, part-Cheyenne at Andrews from very reputable Andrews only comment to by Kathy O'Grady writer and counselor told New Indian organizations and Col- those who disbelieve her stories, Age Journal that Andrews' writ- leges. A warning has even been is that, "I am just offering my ing contains, "a ring of false- issued by the American Indian teachings. They are things I have Medicine Woman, Flight the publicized lawsuit filed against ness." He revealed that although Council, informing innocent learned in my initiation as a white of woman. Seventh Moon, Crystal Woman, Andrews by a former boyfriend. Andrews claimed her teacher readers about "So-called Medi- If people don't believe it, People." they Jaguar Woman, and Star Woman. He claims to have co-written Agnes Whistling Elk was Cree, cine It states that several don't believe it...". Well falsely mis- Lynn Andrews, I By Lynn V. Andrews Andrews first four books (as fic- she refers to katchina spirits, people have V. don't believe the Native peoples it. tion). Recently, however, her for- which is a Hopi term. Later in her represented If any of you wish to read commercializa- Andrews is the Beverly Hills mer boyfriend withdrew this novel Medicine Woman, when resulting in the Andrews' books and judge for exploitation of al- yourself not Shaman of the 80's. Her novels claim in favour of a monetary repeating the lessons of Agnes tion and an whether or she is a ready misunderstood culture. hoax, are fascinating but are they fac- settlement outside of court. Whistling Elk, Andrews uses you can purchase her books on list of authors who tual? I think not. Nevertheless, Meanwhile, Andrews is Lakota terms. It is clear then, that First the at Pages on Queen Street in have exploited the Native peoples or three of Andrew's books were on making large sums of money Andrews has not met a Cree med- Toronto, order them from purpose and the New York Times non-fiction from her novels and her "initia- icine woman but has created a for the of fame Wordsworth Books in Waterloo. best seller list. She has just com- tion" workshops. For just $325, pleted a series of five books con- you too can participate in a week- taining "first-hand" descriptions end of "processes, ceremonies, This guitar says 'thank you' of esoteric practices from Native and to facilitate healing initiations As Scene Editor for the year and beauty to our Tuesday nights. tape selection that effectively American Indians. In her books, personal growth." me a 'rockabilly' and Call wuz, let extend a heartfelt Might I also stroke the egos of sterilized any music Andrews enters the world of Na- fishy that me skeptic, but this sounds very mucho gratias and other Spanish in the vicinity. tive Indian spirits with her guid- (and expensive). So far, Andrews salutations to all those who con- Bryan Leßlanc: for prolific beer ing teacher Agnes Whistling Elk. has made over $100 000 on her and tributed to the section and made it consumption guitar playing The stories are fantastically seminars alone. Andrews is en- the bastion of fine entertainment long after lesser gents would have bizarre yet Andrews claims that joying her newly gained fame and journalism that we here at the hit the sack. everything she has written is true. additional wealth by residing in Kurd Weekly pride ourselves on. Jon Rohr: for keeping a level Her stories reveal how she be- her Beverly Hills home, Hats and shoes off to Dave Lack- head when all about him had not came the student of an Indian laboriously devoting her time to ie, Kathy O'Grady, Sarah Wel- only lost theirs but failed to report Medicine woman who taught her writing and lecturing, "teaching stead, Jordan Lay, Steve Burke, it to the police. to use her special powers to speak the Medicine Way." Cori Ferguson, Todd Bird, Mike Tony Burke: a valuable Liver- with the spirits of other worlds. Not only do her stories sound Shirley, Kirk "Buzz" Nielsen and pudlian presence all year long She became the "first white mem- extremely far-fetched (paralleling Steve Howard (currently on who will be taking the Scene into ber of the Sisterhood of the Carlos Castaneda's experiences - sausageassignment in Toronto). the Nineties.,..or the Seventies Shields," a group whose goal is to Tales Power and his other in of Many thanks to our produc- whichever comes first. preserve the magic rites of their works) but her factual material tion staff who put up with all the The Girl From France: for novels, ex- cultures. In her she de- does not mesh with her "true ranting and raving: Kat Rios and our crackerjack photo staff whose long-distance laughter and letters scribes scenes of terror as she has periences." Her books definitely Sandy Buchanan - displaying the numbers include Michael Myc, of support. challenging power struggles with contain geographical errors: she Sardi, patience of saints - along with Liza Marc Leßlanc, Jamie And, of course, thanks to all other shamans and is constantly claimed to have visited the their assistants: Sarah, Bill Casey, Alien, Peter Wood et al. of you in our viewing audience by potent spirits Winnipeg! confronted from Canadian Tundra in Andre Winner and others. "Honourarv Irishmen Medals": who made the whole thing pos- the beyond. Andrews former boyfriend My gratitude to copy editors, Jon Stover: for literary per- sible; Where would we raving books have recently claimed that her Native Andrews also Shannon Mcllwain and Keri formances above and beyond the socialists have been without you? gained attention from a highly teachers in her stories, (Agnes Downs who added a little grace call of sanity. Bonus points for a (Probably at home sleeping). KINKO'S I IS WORKING

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— — The Cord Weekly 17Thursday, March 23,1989 Rebels fun but easily forgettable

By Tony Burke similarity to those four saintly Irishmen.

The smoky, subterranean depths of Phil's It wasn't until DeSadist interrupted one song to Grandson's Place offered a warm respite from the tell one of his jokes that I finally shook the U2 winter elements Wednesday evening as I stopped in comparisons. Where Bono generally drawls on to awaken the circulation in my limbs. about his holier-than-thou political ideals, I was greeted by a swarm of under-aged chil- DeSadist's banter was mostly comprised of inter- dren, clothed in bizarre apparel, pushing and shov- esting uses for feminine hygiene products. Very ing to get closer to an empty stage. My curiosity disgusting, but infinitely more entertaining. piqued, I decided to linger a while and discover the The reputation surrounding this man's displays object of their adulation. of abuse toward his audience is almost legendary, Before long, the strains of the opening chords of but this night, the mob decided to throw the first "Helter Skelter" cut through the polluted air, and I punch. looked up to see...The Beatles? No. Surely this "You shithead!", someone shouted. Barely fazed, Desadist retorted "Hey, don't talk "That's bull shitter not bull fighter", he like that to someone who could be your father." The quipped. Who could this excuse for a band departed the stage after only fifty minutes following the delivery of their anthem, Lydon rotten John be? "Fuck Me Dead". Did this select offering inspire the crowd to cheer for more? Not really. They must be U2,1 thought. preferred to yell insults at the fleeing band for not However, the vocalist of this four-man band playing "Surfin' On Heroin". Perhaps, God forbid, didn't resemble Bono at all. His hair was red and if they cheered the Rebels may have come back to spiked. He wore a ruffled shirt and a tiny matador's play it! jacket ("That's bull shitter not bull fighter", he Thrust out onto the street by the departing quipped). Who could this excuse for a rotten John masses I found myself wishing I had happened Lydon be? As soon as the band launched (well, slouched) The audience preferred to yell insults at into "Bomb The Boats" I knew that the singer was the fleeing band for not playing "Surfin' none other than the venerable Mickey DeSadist of On Heroin". Perhaps, God forbid, if Hamilton's own Forgotten Rebels. they cheered the may Posing for pictures with pre-pubescent teeny- Rebels have to boppers, telling jokes, and occasionally singing, come back and play it! DeSadist and his band, guitarist Jeff Campbell, bas- sist Mike Lumen, and drummer Damian McGhire, upon the establishment during the "adult" show performed a minuscule set comprised of songs from which was slated to take place later that evening. I their catalogue of four albums and three EP's along assume it would have been longer in duration and with a worthy rendition of "Ziggy Stardust". But, attended by a more mature crowd. But, then again, despite the familiarity of such favourites as "In the Forgotten Rebels don't lend themselves out to Love With The System" and "Elvis Is Dead", I appeal to an intellectual gathering. could not shake the overwhelming feeling of They're rather fun, but easily forgettable. Sarah McLachlan displays complex, melodic 'Touch' By Dave Lackie melodies that emphasize the vast, career out of music, she replied, Canadian tour in April. Sub- necessary; the music speaks for emotive range of her voice. Her "Well, it was always a dream. It sequent American and European itself. Touch is an artistic A number of interesting musi- voice soars and plunges, unravel- was always something I'd hoped tours are planned, as well. achievement that displays cal acts have emerged lately from ing a musical script that reveals to get into but didn't know quite Sarah McLachlan may find it tremendous potential for a Cana- Vancouver, including Moev, more of a story through music how." difficult finding words to describe dian artist whose best work may Colin James, The Grapes of than through the lyrics. McLachlan will embark on a her music but perhaps none are be yet to come. Wrath and, most recently, singer- The debut single, "Vox", is a songwriter Sarah McLachlan. beautiful piece that twists and or would he simply vanish from existence like a soap bubble to our turns, taking the listener on an *jx>p-* McLachlan first came A attention through college and emotional roller coasterride. ping? CBC radio and Music, who the singer what Much I asked Could we commission body- included her first video, Vox, on to write the prompted her song. lifts for the entire Star Trek cast? regular rotation. She agreed to a by JonathanStover "I can't tell you that. It's pri- Does Shatner have real hair, phone interview from Vancouver Bill vate." MindNo-one enditsthe oftether in the history of the reading assigned in all my and what is it the real hair at if so, to give us a glimpse of this new 1 I discovered that McLachlan's work for courses. If this was all Stephen of? Has Leonard Nimoy joined Canadian artist. songwriting is very personal and 'orange.' Not Milton, not - the "Melting Face Society", of she prefers to leave her songs to Born and raised in Halifax, Shal Nettwerk in 1985 in Vancouver, that feature sad and spent and hoary syringe/ If the Razorbacks, with ear blache to go around shooting pro- when her former band, The Octo- McLachlan standing on a rock Crying out for Lady Brach."), but lifers, or can I only wound them? ber Game, opened for one of the beside a lake. Mb® stadium, would anyone hear? If pTo-lifers had higher on-thc- label's more successful acts, "German Shane directed it," The Tillsonburg District As- Better yet, if a low-yield average child abuse figures than Moev. The band were so im- says McLachlan. "That's the best i tally if|jj§m >ff in pro-choicers, would that make pressed by her vocal talent that that I can say. I'm not that that stadium, would the stock of them wrong, or would they have they approached her to front their pleased, but only because my Tillt ition whatever record company signed to answer a skill-testing mathe- band. Only seventeen years old at ideas didn't come across the way for Community Living. Arc they the Razorbacks suddenly go matical question as well*' the time, a dif- McLachlan had I wanted them to." bout through the roof? ficult time convincing her parents the quality of community life in The next single from the al- Green Week is over. Next rotate the Sky Dome the lirst that the opportunity was both mine "Steaming", a power- year, Week!!! lime, it won't stop going, but in- worthwhile and valid. Nettwerk bum will be on sale at K-Mart? Plaid vaguely reminis- stead keeps gong faster faster continued to keep in touch with ful track that is The new sub-compact car, Was Ringo Starr a human and cent of Sinead O'Connor's music. until it screws itself into the her over this next several years. Festn hoice being, or actually a drum machine song Sarah ground at In late 1987, she accepted an of- This was the first that of personalized striping kits. Sort covered in flesh-coloured latex like the house the end wrote and was created out of of Carried Is there a fer of a solo contract with the ever of like building models when you and sent back to Liverpool 1961 Major and error". She played it covering label, which led to her debut al- "trial were a kid, although I was more in a last-ditch effort to sabotage League Baseball rale lyrics began eventuality to bum, over and over until partial to Star Wars kits than to the And can the pro- such an as to what Touch. songwriting Beatles? to take shape. The ugly automobiles. Admittedly, ducers of The Terminator be sued team wins the game if the whole long time for McLachlan's music has been process takes a the Festiva probably does arrive for plagiarism if this is true? stadium disappears, or is it just finds it difficult noi rain- described as a cross between Kate Sarah as she at the factory in a Revell model Recorded in the books as a Bush and Joni Mitchell, with a to doodle when she's writing out? marked classical influence. The songs. Elvis lias left the building, and songs display intricately woven When asked about making I es of strike? Would he go on strike too, so have L Sec you next year. j The Cord Weekly 18Thursday, March 23,1989 If Lewis Carroll fronted the Kinks: Robyn Hitchcock By Mike Shirley rent band, the Egyptians, bit more subdued and the tunes "Freeze" takes a swipe at David its strength. Robyn Hitchcock and Hitchcock has remained true to less memorable than the previous Byrne and "Autumn Sea" features the Egyptians are still to strange Queen Elvis his ways. album; there's nothing as catchy a hilarious monologue in the for mainstream acceptance. It ap- Robyn Hitchcock and the Egyp- Hitchcock has been praised by as "Balloon Man" or "Flesh Num- bridge. Peter Buck plays guitar on pears that the band is destined for tians his followers and vilified by his ber One" on Queen Elvis. four tunes and a string quartet perpetual cult status, but given A&M Records detractors for his oblique ap- However, the album still adds some psychedelic spice to a popular culture's tendency to proach; lyrics like "Butter delivers. "Madonna of the couple of tracks. homogenize and pander to the engines pack a swallow/ Piston in Wasps" and "One Long Pair of This album in unlikely to win lowest common denominator, Cult artists are a strange you shatter inches bell", and titles Eyes" are pleasant little ditties. Hitchcock any new fans despite there are worse places to be. breed. Some, like Alex Chilton, like "Point It At Gran" tend to do shun their early success and it. His melodic sense, however alienate all but their most loyal makes his lyrics palatable. Im- Top Ten Cord Weekly Flagellations fans. Others, like Lou Reed, agine Lewis Carroll fronting the 5. Elvis has left the building! soften their message and become Kinks and you'll get the picture. [By The Captain, his Tribbles, 9. Draw mustaches on the Hawks Elvis has left the building! more commercially successful. Queen Elvis is Hitchcock's and Finnegan, from the home of the Week. 4. Shine your black dress And some grow more popular follow-up to Globe of Frogs, (his office of the Enterprise] 8. Draw mustaches on anything shoes without ever deviating from their major label debut). If anything else that isn't moving or playing a with it. 3. Take it to John Weir's office original game plan. Robyn has changed, it's that there's not lO.Look at the pictures—and 12-string guitar. to Slowly. - and read it Hitchcock falls into the latter one reference to fish a major fine-quality, beautifully 7. Enjoy while in hot tub. Towel him.

Whether with his old - 2. Pin up the centerfold—will it category. preoccupation on the whole reproduced pictures they are at off with it while exiting the hot be Colin James? The group, the Soft Boys, or his cur- record. The lyrics are perhaps a that. tub, but then reenter the hot tub to Razor- remove the front-page picture backs? Colin James? The Razor- from your vital areas. backs? Colin James and the 6. Keep copy in can for all pur- Razorbacks?...well, you get the Test your knowledge on Bondage poses. But be careful in there. idea. Some of those classified ads are 1. Trade it one-up with an Ar- By Stover. Jonathan Stover. 19705. early the in cycle mean buggers. chaeology student for his degree. Bond the off finished Fleming, by pirited actor to play effort 1. Name the first British super-spy relatively a Gun, \ James Bond. dis- Golden the with Man The 10. 2. This American president's publicly-declared Scottish. is Bond 9. habit of reading James Bond thrillers catapulted Love. with Russia To in boots poison-toed of pair a nearly Lenya them from cult status to bestseller lists in the United with Bond in did Lotte and 1985, States. Who was the Bondian chief executive? in One Number to went Kill" A to "View Duran's name; same for 3. Who did current Bond Timothy Dalton play in Duran the of flick Bond the for Die" Jobs students sang the 1980 film-bomb Flash Gordon? Bonus: along Let and "Live and wrote McCartney Paul 8. with Dalton, another contributor to Flash Gordon Oops! reaction. nuclear a dampens reactor would later, for good or ill, contribute to the Bond a into rods control lowering reality, In pile. uranium Students for screen oeuvre. Who was this significant other? its into lowered are rods control its more the cal 4. True or false: Sean Connery wore a hairpiece in criti- to closer and closer gets which reactor nuclear Jobs top his 1972 then-swan song as Bond in Diamonds are a of on battle No Dr. evil the and Bond 7. Forever. 19705. early and 1960s late the during vision as Templar, No job is too big or too small for your 5. Two authors other than Ian Fleming have as- tele- British on Saint, the known better played sayed "real" Bond novels—that is, novels which Simon adventurer amateur Moore 6. local Canada Employment Centre for were not film adaptations. Name them. estate. Fleming's lan by approved Students. All types of work and workers 6. Before he played James Bond, Roger Moore did as adventures, written Bond's James of raconteur available — skilled and unskilled — preparation playing this amateur official the currently is Gardner John writer are some by British spy- adventurer-detective on television. Name the British while Sun, Doctor in Bond at hand his by the hour, day, week or month. character. tried Amis Kingsley author British Acclaimed 5. 7. The climactic scene of Dr. No, the first James Thumper. Bond movie, contains a struggle between the title and Bambi named killer-beach-bunnies clad villain and Sean Connery over top of the boiling bikini- of couple a by pool swimming a in dunked waters of a nuclear power station's cooling system. gets he where one including scenes, some in shows However, that final battle scene also contains a it and hairpiece, a wear indeed did Connery 4. After April Ist we are open basic scientific mistake which sets most science Again.Never Say Never 203 King St. W. majors' teeth on edge. What is the mistake? Bond, James with bout return second Connery's at Kitchener screenplay Semple 8. A number of famous pop singers and bands have Sean for the write later would 744-8151 assayed Bondian title songs. Name, respectively, Lorenzo screenwriter Gordon Flash Bonus: flop. the ex-Beatle and his title song; the only number DeLaurentis-produced Dino the in Barin Prince one single spawned by the Bond films; and the swashbuckling the of role the assayed tonDal 3. singer who played the villainous fe- famous opera U.S. the boost high a giving novels, in with in sales them male Russian assassin To Russia Love. Fleming's praised Kennedy F. John late The 2. S&HIRE 9. What nationality is James Bond? Royale. Casino of adaptation made-for-television Barry SIA STUDENT 10. The first James Bond novel by Ian Fleming was 1950s the in Nelson, TV-actor American 1. Canada Casino Royale. What was Fleming's last Bond Answers ■ ■ Qovvnmant of Canada OowmnmW du Canada novel entitled? ■"" ■ IMMT of Stata tor Youth MUM aOaf ala Jaunawa X Charaat Jaan J. Charaat \Jaan z / •NEED ACCESS TO A COMPUTER? •NEED TO LEARN SPREADSHEET OR WORD PROCESSING? QgnptS Ml •WANT TO ENTER YOUR OWN DATA APPLIED TRAINING CAN HELP YOU NOW! WE PROVIDE Vl&linigr •Self-directed training Ia •Flexible Scheduling

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- The Cord Weekly 19 Thursday, March 23,1989 Hands perform, hands applaud in new Rush concert video By Steve Burke Although the majority of the Director Larry Fordan, who From one of the biggest con- footage is comprised of songs has worked on the recent Pink cert attractions of all time comes from the band's last two studio Floyd and Amnesty International one of the most exciting and en- releases, Hold Your Fire and tours, pieces the fragments to- tertaining concert videos in recent Power Windows, the concert also gether in a fast-paced, staggering years —"Rush: A Show of features older favourites such as display of lighting effects, crea- Hands". For the price of little "Tom Sawyer", "Closer to the tive video projections, on-stage more than a ticket, viewers may Heart", "The Spirit of Radio", and antics and musical virtuosity. witness the visual and musical a medley of "2112", "La Villa Cameras draw back to capture the spectacle Rush have become Strangiato" and "In the Mood". panorama of lasers, and roving, famous for world-wide. Shot over Consumers and critics vary in multi-coloured beams of light. two nights in Birmingham, En- their responses to Rush's con- Backdrop cartoons and film gland, the 90 minute video cap- stantly shifting music career. footage from behind the band ex- tures the highlights of the band's Their live performance, however, pand to fill the screen on "Force two hour show. The film also fea- continues to draw a legion of Ten", "Manhattan Project" and tures most of the songs on Rush's loyal followers and fellow "The Big Money". Tight camera latest live album of the same title. musicians such as U2. "A Show shots from an infinite number of When fed through a stereo, the of Hands" is an attempt to in- angles focus on the intensity and audio track produced by front corporate the technical wizardry playful expressions of the per- man Geddy Lee not only comple- and musical chemistry from the formers. While the Toronto trio ments the album —it virtually re- perspectives of the audience and take their music seriously, they oiled machine, the cameras cap- drum solo. places it. the performers. use their show as an opportunity ture a missed cue by guitarist "A Show of Hands" is worth to act spontaneously—laughing, Alex Lifeson, focussing on at least the cost of renting to see running around the stage, and vocalist Geddy Lee's confused, some of these moments. Anyone Comedy Quest at Laurier dancing in front of the drum set. amused expression, and the who has seen Rush perform There are no self-gratifying guitarist's attempt to tear out a would no doubt want to purchase By Cori Cusak "behind the scenes" tour broken string. their own copy. It surpasses the episodes, no melodramatic In spite of these episodes, the earlier "Exit...Stage Left" concert The Crystal Comedy Quest rolled through Laurier last Saturday adolescent anecdotes, or dramatic video stands out as a showcase night on the hunt for the best comedic talent on university and college film, and the "Grace Under Pres- black and white segments. From for the breath-taking talents of campuses in Ontario. sure" show broadcast by Mush- the opening Canada's most accomplished and music in bringing place went Scott Donald, a year humble theme of the experience First honours to Mac 4th Business respected musicians. The show's student and the MC for WLUSU's Just Joking series. He was "Three Blind Mice/Three to the screen. The eyes of the Stooges", simply three instrumental numbers, in- cameras awarded a Nike gym bag, Nike Air Trainer running shoes, a frisbee the video and ears of the micro- cluding "YYZ", reveal the con- phones and painter hat. MacDonald's student oriented stand up routine also reveals what it was like to be become those of the a centration and skill of Lee's bass earned him chance to participate in a television special to be aired there. audience. It is a show of eyes and a work, guitar sometime this summer. While the show is generally Lifeson's influential ears. Of hands performing, hands style, and Neil Peart's legendary MacDonald's competition consisted of Winter Carnival Talent known for running like a well- applauding. A Show of Hands. Night winner Ernest Finkelstein, and a group called Troupe De Jour. Finkelstein's routine was a continuation of his Talent Night show, while Troupe De Jour played out several short political skits. The featured act on this year's tour were the winners of the first Inside Track Crystal Comedy Quest, Corky and the Juice Pigs. Playing before a packed house, the Juice Pigs had everyone clutching their sides and By Dave Lackie recorded in Vancouver last fall. Astbury says cryp- tically, my gasping for air by the end of their forty minute performance. '"Fire Woman' is about 67 crazed Firehorse lady". The Cult are planning tour for The three man troupe, consisting of Phil Nichol, Joe Costa and a to the Track. April/early May....The Ayatollah/Salman Shawn ??????, represent a new breed of humour; fast paced, off-beat Welcome final edition of Inside late and slightly schizophrenic. Corky and the Juice Pigs will stop at noth- Billy Idol has issued a libel writ against the News Rushdie controversy has been having its repercus- ing to get the loudest laughs. From their best known skit, "Two Game of the World following a story last December which sions in the music industry. Matt Johnson of The Show Hosts Meet In The Street" and its variations, to a rendition of alleged that he behaved outrageously and indecent- The, who has long had an interest in Islam has Solid GoldDancers that is guaranteed to have the homophobics in the ly in front of handicapped children at a Muscular issued a statement in which he sympathizes with audience squirming in their seats and looking for the nearest exit, Dystrophy charity event in California. Idol, who the Moslem position but appeals for freedom of Corky and the Juice Pigs are impressive. Hell, they blew away the has been fund-raising for the Muscular Dystrophy thought and expression. Johnson said this week that Laurier crowd. Association for several years, says he has received his song "Sweet Bird of Truth", written three years And on a surprising note, they were even called back for an en- an open invitation to take part in the next ago, prophetized the U.S. attack on Libya and the core—something that does not happen for most comedy acts. event—despite claims in "News of the World" that loss of the American jet in that "disgraceful and by recent If Corky and the Juice Pigs manage to secure an evening here next he would be cold-shouldered them. Idol's man- misguided adventure". He said, "In. weeks, say year, by all means check them out. You probably won't get a chance agement they have received letters from key with the ominous unfolding of the Salman Rushdie people event confirming to see any finer, or more bizarre, Canadian comedic talent. involved in the that the al- saga, I have been both horrified and amazed to see If they weren't outstanding, the Crystal Comedy Quest wouldn't legations were false. Chairman Oliver Shokouk said another of my songs burst into life on the world have asked them back as the featuredact for a second year. "the entire article is filled with outrageous lies" and stage before my eyes. 'Armageddon Days Are Here added that "Billy has always been kind and accom- (Again)' from my forthcoming album, Mind Bomb, modating to all". A spokesman for Bill Idol said, again refers to the clash between Islam and the "The newspaper made no attempt to contact Idol West, but this time about the way institutionalised over the allegations and when asked who their religions and vest interest have combined with sources were, they refused to comment...T/je Cult global ignorance to pervert the original messages of return this week with a new single, "Fire Woman", the Prophets and exploit the fundamental spiritual taken from their forthcoming album, Sonic Temple, yearning of humanity...l deeply sympathize with which is due for release April 10. The flipside fea- the Moslem position but no matter how obnoxious tures "Automatic Blues" with the 12-inch addi- Rushdie of his books is to them, surely freedom of John Casablancas, President of Elite Agencies* Offers his tionally containing "Messin' Up The Blues". All thought and expression is a God-given birthright. In Training Method To Bring Out The Best In World Famous tracks were written by lan Astbury and Bill Duffy You Whatever Career You Choose! this day and age, no man has the right to destroy and are produced by Bob Rock who has previously life"....And that's it for this year. Thanks to Lee Pr 112 1 d 11" worked as an engineer with the likes of Bon Jovi, Carter, Cori and Neville for their help this year. Aerosmith and Kingdom Come. The album was Have a great summer!

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Only $499 for for - long gone. So I guess what and MAY!! 7466 details and ap- Send resume and a 6735 pa e Resumes $5 Der nuh I'm trying to say a two weeks. Celebrate the pointments! with photocopy of qualifica- LL' Draft codv alwavs neepcpATCTv cCCg big sigh, is that without year's end with BUST — £ons II l 0 Beechwood Mav book a kbachelor or you guys I just couldn't LOOSE! HOLIDAYS. BOY SCOUT: Next ume Homes Association, one Kwt detav bedroom apt. to sublet for getby! AP. Call Rob 747-2828. BE PREPARED! Peaches. Waterloo, OnL N2L 6C6 louay, «8Sooj-ijjj.H" Duh summer. Call 746-6867. The Cord Weekly 22 Thursday, March 23,1989 SPORTS Hawksfall to Yeomen in final Clock strikes 12 on "Cinderella" Hawks By Brian Owen

Oh the pain! The Hawkey Hawks' bubble finally burst. The dream of a National Championship came to an abrupt halt for the Hawks last Saturday afternoon when the York Yeomen topped the Hawks 5-2 in the CIAU hockey final before a full house at Varsity Arena. The strongly pro-Laurier crowd watched in agony as York goalie Mark Applewhaite continually stoned the Hawk snipers with brilliant saves to help the Yeomen clinch their second consecutive national title. Applewhaite was awarded the tournament MVP's trophy for his outstanding efforts between the pipes. The game was not typical of the Hawks' play in the past several weeks, as they trailed the Yeomen for the entire game. In the un- familiar role of having to come back, the Hawks seemingly lost their usually effective offensive attack against the fired-up Yeomen squad. The crucial point of the game, the one that eventually sunk the Hawks, came when Applewhaite robbed sniper Greg Puhalski on a powerplay midway through the second period. While laying prone in his crease, Applewhaite stabbed Puhalski's attempt, and preserved the then 3-2 lead. York scored the next goal early in the third frame to go ahead 4-2. Laurier had reached the finals by riding a string of 13 consecutive victories that included defeating the Yeomen three straight in the playoffs, twice in the divisional semi-final, and finally in the OUAA final. However the Yeomen's aggressive beginning in the final game made the differnce as Greg Rolston, Luciano Fagioli and Bill Maguire vaulted York to an early 3-0 lead putting Laurier behind the eight ball for the remainder of the game. Fifteen minor penalties were assessed in the opening frame for overzealous behavior. The Hawks notched their first goal of the game with 59 seconds left in the first period on a Brent Bywater marker. Taking a soft pass from Puhalski in the corner, Bywater buried a quick shot behind Ap- plewhaite for the powerplay marker. Dan Rintche then drew Laurier within one goal on a shorthanded effort from Tom Jackson at 5:27. Rintche was stopped three or four times by Applewhaite, but kept hacking away at the side of the crease until the puck finally went in. The momentum was starting to swing in Laurier's favour by the end of the second period; however it was Applewhaite's brilliance that prevented a complete shift of the game's tenor. York poured on the pressure at the start of the third period to seal the fate for the Hawks. Curtis Coyne and Brian McDonald scored The year in review in cliches goals minutes apart for the Yeomen to put the game out of reach. York's perseverance and abundant enthusiasm thwarted attempts by By Brian Owen ashamed about. Only two teams from the entire the Hawks to get back in the game, as the Yeomen simply outhustled country have the exclusive privilege of playing in Laurier, continually beating them to loose pucks. I think the old cliche "it was a memorable year" the most prestigious hockey event in the university The game was, obviously, a huge disappointment for the team. is a well worn adage often overused by the sports circuit. The lone condition in the final match is that Although not heavily favoured to win the tournament or even media to best describe a team's history of events "one team has to win and one team has to lose", favoured to get out of their own division, the loss in the final game during the past year. However, this overworked thus leaving one team with a bitter taste in its fell hard on the determined band of individuals who expected to once phrase really does apply to the 1988-89 season of mouth. The fact that the loss comes from a team again defeat the York squad. the Hawkey Hawks. they have beaten three straight in post season play Dan Rintche, perhaps, best summed up the feelings of the Golden It was a season that was supposed to be the makes it more difficult to swallow than the regular- "Rebuilding Year" for coach Wayne Gowing. With sized pill. loss of last year's nucleus to graduation there was The Hawks even had some players selected as look better little hope of getting out of the tough Central Divi- all-stars. Rookie defenceman Peter Choma was The Hawks can forward to even sion for post-season play. But his troops chosen for the second team OUAA All-Star squad things next year with all but four players "rebounded" and "played with character" to knock and a candidate for the Rookie of the Year. Dan returning from this year's squad.... off "perennial powerhouses" in York and Western Rintche and Steve Handy were chosen for th**. to advance to the divisional, OUAA and National CIAU National tournament team. finals. This is something that Gowing hopes for All in all, it was a interesting year covering the every year, but the outcome certainly depends on Hawkey Hawks. It was the first time that I had done Hawks: "It was a tough loss but we still have lots of pride for going the team of each given year. any reporting of any kind of any sporting team. I al- this far. It was hard to take after beating them all year." The season shot its "ups and downs" at the ways have been and always will be an athlete. But The team should hold their heads high. They compiled a 14-1 Hawks. The loss to the RMC Redmen one week through several major sports injuries my competi- after January 21st beginning the streak by beating the UQTR and subsequent triumph over the UQTR Patriotes, tive years are behind me. Enter the role of reporter. Patriotes in Montreal. The Hawks had a lot of character bouncing the top ranked team in the country the next, made I don't profess to be walking library of sports back from such a poor start and mid-season slump. many loyal supporters of the team feel like they had knowledge but I do know a little about the game of to get off the rollercoaster ride to stop their break- hockey. After several unsuccessful attempts of Ice Chips: Mark Applewhaite was named tournament MVP. He is fast from coming up. catching on with the varsity squad here at Laurier, I graduating this year, after using up his five years of However the Hawks finally "turned things have enjoyed being around the team atmosphere eligibility....Laurier placed two members on the tournament all-star around" after the win in Montreal over the again in another capacity even though it was per- team—Steve Handy on defence, and Dan Rintche at forward. It was a Patriotes. They began a string of six victories that haps the biggest knock to my ego in years watching fitting tribute to Handy who is also graduating this year....Other all- lasted right up until the Western Mustangs ended and not playing. Also, since I know most of the tournament team members included Alberta's Stacey Wakabayashi, the string witli a win over the Hawks in the last players personally following the team has been an and York's Greg Rolston on the forward line, and the Yeoman's Bill game season in London. But the Hawks felt this easy job. Maguire on defence....Wakabayashi was named most valuable player was but a minor setback to their plans. They ran off But on to "bigger and better things". I was in the nation....Laurier's Peter Choma just missed out on CIAU Rookie another series of six wins through the playoffs, and selected for the position of Sports Editor at the of the Year honours, as he was beaten by Moncton's Eric were unbeaten until the national final last weekend Cord for next year, another role that will take some Galarneau....Moncton's coach, Len Doucet, also took home some when destiny and Mark Applewhaite refused them time to adjust to not only watching competitive hardware, winning coach of the year over York's Graeme Wise and a perfect post-season record. sports again but putting together a sports sec- Alberta's Clare Drake....The Golden Bears won the most sportsman- Losing the National final game is nothing to be tion....but heck it looks great on a resume. like team award. The Cord Weekly sports 23 Thursday, March 23,1989 Overtime goal lifts York over Alberta By Oscar Madison culminated a rink long rush by Kent Brimmer. Shots for the peri- The York Yeomen only won od were 14-5 in favour of Al- five post-season hockey games. berta. Fortunately two came of them In the second period, York this weekend in the national came out flying, with Fagioli championships. scoring on another powerplay op- 57 On the weekend, at the CIAU portunity seconds into the finals, the Yeomen ousted the stanza. Until this point, Krill in number one ranked team in the the Alberta net had been rather nation for the second straight shaky, allowing the three goals on week, as they defeated the Al- only six shots. Golden Bears berta 4-3 in double Then, the Yeomen were bitten overtime on Thursday evening. by the penalty bug. York took Goaltender Mark Applewhaite several needless penalties, and was the story of the game, as he Alberta responded. Wakabayashi would turn out to be all weekend, scored two more goals, to com- turning away 51 of Alberta's 54 plete his hat-trick, both on the shots, while making some power play. At 7:58, the most stupendous, unbelievable and valuable player in Canada potted Laurier can be proud of its fans. Last weekend at the CIAU hockey finals in Toronto, not only did generally superb saves. York, a goal into a gaping crevice in the Hawk supporters outnumber all other team's fans, but they were the best behaved. Well Done!!! meanwhile, fired only 33 shots at net. His third of the evening came Cord Photo by Chris Starkey. the Golden Bears' goalie John at 12:20 off a rebound from a Krill. point-shot. Hawks thrash Moncton for finals' berth By Brian Owen Maurice potted markers behind goalie Michel Drolet, all stemming from sloppy defensive play. However, the speedy Frenchmen weren't going For the first time in their history the Hawkey to let the Hawks roll all over them. They responded Hawks reached the CIAU National hockey with three goals in the second ten minutes of the championship final game with a win over the frame to lift themselves back in the game. Going Moncton Blue Eagles 8-4 at Varsity Arena last into the dressing room after the end of the first peri- Thursday evening before a strong contingent of od, the Hawks suddenly realized that they were The first 17 minutes of period was score- Laurier supporters. playing a contender. The score was tied at 3-3. the The third game were rather uneventful. less, as neither team had any The Hawks opened the game with an aggressive However Maurice, Puhalski and Rintche added York had several close chances, sustained pressure, and there blitz on the Blue Eagles. Seemingly unaccustomed three early second period markers to negate any including two or three by big were few good scoring chances. to the rough stuff, Moncton lost its edge in finesse, swing of momentum to the Moncton side. By 10:19 winger Luciano Fagioli, but Applewhaite, as he had in the and resorted to defensive tactics to dodge the Hawk of the period the Hawks had built a 7-3 lead from couldn't capitalize until 17:46 first and second periods, kept bodychecks. which they never looked back. Drolet most likely the when all-star winger Greg Rol- Yeomen the game, making hadn't seen this much rubber all season. He had the in ston converted a pass from some scintillating saves. As expected the Hawks came out flying, notch- best goals against average in the country with 2.14 York captain Bill Maguire to open ing three goals on solid forechecking in the first ten until he had met the Hawks. the Overtime, scene 1, saw both scoring with the man advantage. minutes. The Moncton defence didn't know if it Brad Sparkes and Maurice, picking up a hat teams almost win the game on was coming or going, the result of trick, closed out the Hawk scoring two occasions. Three minutes a barrage of in the third peri- Things happened fast and Laurier wingers pressing the Eagles into od. Moncton added one more for a into the frame Applewhaite made making goal final score furiously in the last two minutes, mistakes. Tom Jackson, Greg of 8-4 the Hawks. several big saves in succession, Puhalski and Mike in favor of 'hough, as Alberta tied up the while two minutes later York hit score reopened a one before York the post behind Krill. goal lead. The Golden Bears' fine winger Stacy Wakabayashi Overtime, scene 2, was short- cashed in 50 seconds after Rol- lived. At the 2:08 mark, Joe ston's goal, with a powerplay Resko tipped in a Curtis Coyne shot from the slot. The Yeoman's shot for the win. lan Ferguson closed out the scor- Applewhaite, surprisingly ing in the first period with one enough, was named MVP of the minute left, on a scramble that game. Attention Laurier women! The newlyformed Cross- Country team wants you! By Fidel and Raoul Treadway

There may be women competing in cross country meets for WLU next year, ifPeter Grinsberg has his way. Grinsberg, who has been working as a sports psychologist at WLU for three years and is in charge of the Waterloo Track Club, has provided the initiative to start the program, according to Women's Athletic Co-ordinatorCookie Leach. In the opinion of Grinsberg, the WLU track and cross-country ef- forts over the past few years have been fragmented at best simply be- cause the school does not possess adequate facilities. The women's program has been non-existent. With the very fragile foundation to build on, Grinsberg is not ex- pecting to build an extremely successful team in a few short years. His goal is to create a good team atmosphere for women middle- distance runners at WLU, while providing an alternative for women who may be interested in aerobics or swimming. At the same time, though, there will be situations provided for good runners who attend Laurier to build on and improve their talents. For any interested athletes, there will be a meeting on Tuesday March 28 at 4:00 in the WAA Lounge at the Athletic Complex. For rurther information, contact Peter Grinsberg at WLU. The Cord Weekly 24 Thursday, March 23,1989 sports Here's a "Cookie" who never crumbles: Marion Leach

By Serge Grenier In those days, the Lady Hawk ketball in her hometown Univer- "I don't want to be a babysitter," fought for the other places. That basketball teams were, in one sity of Windsor while acquiring she says, adding that she feels she is no longer the case." "I am doing right now what I word, anemic. Losses by scores an Honours B.P.H.E. (Bachelor can have a greater impact on her The future success of her want to be doing with my life." of Physical and Health Educa- charges in a looser atmosphere. team depends on building links One of the lucky people who Cookie tried revamping tion). After teaching high school Looking back at thirteen years with high schools through the can make that claim in this age of the lifeless Lady Basket- of coaching varsity volleyball, Sun Life Tournament and hosting too many people feeling dis- there are regional ball Hawks... certain players that championships. She enchanted with their jobs is come to mind as far as having a would like to intensify her WLU's Women's Athletics Co- lasting impact on their teams. The recruiting focus on the K-W area of 100-20 were the rule ordinator and head women's vol- rather name she remembers most from due to the proximity and quality than the exception. Tired of leyball coach, Marion "Cookie" being her early years is Mary Rafferty, of local talent (three players on Leach. "Ninety per cent of the a perennial OWIAA doormat and who could combine a strong work the current roster are locals). time, the job is fun, but the other unable to get funding for a full- ethic and a love of the into game While she hopes her team will ten per cent can wear you down." time coach, she actively pursued a dynamic performer. Latter-day return to playoff contention in a After thirteen years of holding admission into the OCAA vintage memorable players in- couple of years, her crystal ball both positions, things have (Ontario College Athletic Associ- clude current assistant coach Ruth sees great things for women's changed in the women's athletics ation). This move was met with MacNeil (talented, with charac- teams in the next five years. She program at Laurier, even if Leach mixed feelings by the province's ter, very coachable) and Allison confidently predicts is still the only female staff mem- community colleges, who didn't McGee (pure talent and an OWIAA ber of the athletic department. really know how to respond as no coachability). basketball and soccer championship the next From four sports and a $4500 university had applied for admis- As with a number of coaches, in five years as well as the development budget, the women's athletics sion to a college league before. Leach's very first team at WLU is of a strong women's program now funds nine sports But, before the final meeting the one she has the fondest cross coun- try team. Cross country is the on a constant basis (as many as which would rule on this request, memories of. "I just took over the only new Lady Hawk twelve at one point) and com- Intramural Director Gary Jeffries job from the previous coach, who team she can foresee mands a budget of over $50,000. came to her and offered his ser- was extremely respected by the will emerge in the next few years. The major turning point in the vices as women's basketball for one year in Windsor, she was players, and I had to prove myself coach. When WLU throws recent development of the back to school for one year to get to them. We had a lot of fun that Cookie current strength Leach a party, women's program at Laurier The of the her Bachelor of Education and year, partly because I was closer retirement how women's would she like to came with the appointment five basketball program can- play varsity volleyball. The next in age to them then." be remem- not to one bered? "I helped years ago of current Athletic be attributed person's two years were spent teaching at Volleyball in the OWIAA the women's program Director Rich Newbrough. "It work, but the appointment of Jef- Toronto's tough Eastern Com- West has changed in her opinion grow at WLU and I as cared about the I was an incredible shot of life in fries coach is seen as the first merce ("thank God I wasn't too over the last thirteen years. kids coached." step this direction. would not So far, it would be hard to my arm," reflected Leach with in "I naive before I went there") before Players are now much more ag- dis- have hired he did not com- agree on those two points. the perspective of time in her him if being hired for her current job at gressive offensively and the gap favour. Newbrough gave her mit himself to do the recruiting Laurier. between East and West is closing. P.S.: How did she acquire her complete autonomy to run the and the other work necessary to "It used to be the case that Water- nickname Cookie? Scots are Given the choice between women's program as she saw fit make a strong team." loo would be first and the rest renowned for giving people teaching and_she responded to her en- Leach's interest in having a in high school or univer- nicknames that have absolutely sity settings, Leach definitely pre- hanced responsibilities strong basketball program at OWIAA volleyball has un- no relation to the person. Her if fers the university setting. She en- enthusiastically. Her first order of Laurier is easily understood dergone major changes in mother simply looked at her business was to do something you know that her real back- joys the greater informality of when she was born and nick- university as compared with the about WLU's women's basket- ground is in basketball. She 13 years.... named her "Cookie" on the ball team. played four years of varsity bas- rule enforcement of high school. spot. CAMUUMSS 112 Unlimited train travel in Canada for the unlimited imagination.

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Take the train. There's nothing quite like it! Anne, Lenore make waves at B.C. Ottenbrite grabs bronze By Janet Smith and Raoul couver. The championships were place finish. Treadway attended by the best swimmers Doucette, for her part, did her from across Canada. To qualify, best time in the 100 metre butterf- A year of intense training, each competitor had to swim ly, coming home in 1:058 perfecting of technique and races that were under the national minutes which was good for a splashing around in pools across standard as set by the CIAU. ninth place finish. She also swam this fine province and nation "We had fun and hope to do it the 2(X)m butterfly, and the 100m finally came to an end on March again next year", said Ottenbrite, freestyle events, placing tenth and team. Thunderbirds. 4th and sth, as Laurier's best fe- who led WLU's contingent by 16threspectively. In overall team competition, male swimmers travelled to Brit- bringing home a medal. She fin- "British Columbia is a really the University of Toronto Blues The results at the nationals are ish Columbia for the CIAU ished third in Canada in the 200 great place and we were lucky to demonstrated why they were the capstone of a very successful championships. metre Individual Medley, to grab have the Cl's there," Doucette ranked number one in the nation season for Ottenbrite and Anne Ottenbrite and Lenore a bronze. She also placed fourth commented. She is in her second for much of the year, as the Lady Doucette. Both ladies captured Doucette, the leading members of in the nation in the 100 metre year of a Physical Education de- Blues stroked away with the team medals at the OWIAA the Lady Hawks' swim team, breaststroke. Her time in the gree, and both she and Ottenbrite title with 533 points. Alberta fin- championships held at Laurier in represented Laurier admirably at event was 1:13 minutes, while in will be returning to Laurier next ished second with 439.5 points, mid-February, and both had the meet hosted by the University her specialty, the 200 m breast- year to anchor what should be a followed by McGill, Montreal, qualified for the CIAU's in com- of British Columbia in Van- stroke, she took home a fifth much more experienced swim Calgary, Laval and the host ÜBC petitions before Christmas. J.A.F.A. "rocks" intramural curling to take title chance to learn the sport, old major upsets when 7th-ranked JeffTomlin. Dave Siefker of the Outsliders By Kenneth J. Whytock players a chance to fine tune their Team From Hell defeated 2nd- Fourth place went to Widgy- claimed victory over Louise Kir- skills, and all players a chance to ranked Outsliders, and when 4th- win and spares Karen Whytock On Thursday, March 16, Widgy, who overcame the Team take part in a game steeped in ranked J.A.F.A. beat lst-ranked and William Penny of Bedspins. when the Laurier Golden Hawk From Hell by a score of 6-5. tradition—a tradition of fun, of Widgy-Widgy. Regular season teammates of Hockey team was taking to the Widgy-Widgy, who ended the competition, of good sports- The championship game was season Bedspins, Andrew Steffen, and ice against Moncton, the Laurier regular in first place, con- manship, and a tradition of the between J.A.F.A. and the Albert sisted of Brown, Paul Beck were unable to attend. Intramural Curling teams were Michael Dan taking to the ice for their fina*, The organizers of the curling sudden death games of the sea- season would like to thank eight teams, four- The intramural curling finals were spiced up by some major upsets, son. For these George Bere and Louise Kirwin teen weeks of regular season play despite the fact that the league was established merely to give the com- looking purchase and three weeks of playoffs cul- for after the of petitors the prizes, Kelvin Johnston for minated on this night. a chance to test their skills, and enjoy some athletic support.... The regular season began on hosting the party, and the spares October 20 and required each' that showed up when called upon member to spend their Thursday after game drink. Street Alkies. J.A.F.A. took the Keaney, Rob Maxwell, and Ken in order to make a game. Thanks nights between 10:00 pm and Regular season play allowed early lead by scoring four points Whytock. Team From Hell was to spares: Kristen Hawkins, Wil- 12:30 am at the K-W Granite teams to test strategies, switch in the first end but then Albert made up of Steve Bollenback, liam Penny, Mike Spadafora and Club. Such a sacrifice of Turret positions, and compete for Street responded to the challenge Cheryl Smith, Ann Marie Karen Whytock. Laurier In- time has never been heard of be- playoff places. The playoffs were and shut down all further J.A.F.A Tseretopoulos, and Jeff Whitting- tramural curling is for fun and no fore; but approximately 30 people the test as to whether all that scoring. By the last end the Al- ton. experience is necessary, only did it, and two of the members, practice could help a player with- bert Street Alkies had tied the The battle for the basement commitment. If you wish to join Rob Maxwell and Ken Whytock, stand the pressure of a must win score 4-4. Gerry Lamont, skip of was between Bedspins and Out- next year check with the in- never missed a night. The regular situation. The two previous J.A.F.A. had last shot and was sliders. George Bere, Debbie tramural office in the A.C. in ear- season play gave new curlers a weeks of playoffs had seen some forced to use it to win the game Byers, John Leermakers, and ly October. and take the championship. The 1988-1989 Laurier In- tramural Curling Champions, from the team J.A.F.A., are: Gerry Lamont, Helen Paleochoritis, Rich Spriggs, and John Todd. Second place was claimed by the Albert Street Alkies: Evelyn Chisamore, Kel- vin Johnston, Craig Moore, and Kathy Walsh. The battle for third place was also very close with 8.8.C.'s (Business-Biology Connection), who before the playoffs were ranked sth, taking the bronze. Members included: John Bus- narda, Joel Price, Judy Schneider, and Robin VanDelande. Dream- team, which ended the regular season in sixth place and had defeated 2nd place Outsliders to get to this game had a team con- sisting of Eric Aspila, Terry Thrower, Stephen Hughes, and ENTREPRENEURS 112 25th Anniversary If your trying to raise capitial for your business save yourself months of USEDBOOK SALE looking in the wrong places. Order Canadian Federation of University Women

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. . . .. r- r .« First United Church as well from negotiating financing „ ...... government assistance as the ... K,n & Wlll,am Waterloo private sector such as banks and venture capiatlists. 9 StreetS A must for any entrepreneur. 418 pages. $69.00. Donat© Books Call To order, send cheque or Visa number and expiry date to 885-4669; 578-9583; 742-5055 Canadian New Ventures, 221 Front Street East Suite 1, Supports scholarships and community projects The Cord Weekly 26 Thursday, March 23,1989 TSN cleans up in CIAU coverage Comment by Lucien Boivin portunity to refer to a player's lost control of the game. Hebscher was short, sweet and York was referred to in home town or previous team. WLU's team uniforms may profound. "I like them (the voluminous detail, while the Those of us who couldn't They were prepared for the worst have caused some dissension on uniforms)." Oh well, can't please Hawks were known as "the other make it down to Toronto for the (both have worked on Maple Leaf the set of Global's Sportsline. Jim everyone now, can we! guys." CIAU hockey nationals last week radio past), Tatti, usually the straight man, CTV's illustrious broadcast- broadcasts in the but Maybe, just maybe, the could still follow the madcap ac- seemed to enjoy the games. Wat- did not like the Hawks' uniforms. ing crew did an interesting job. ex- tion of the Laurier Hawkey ters was merciless on the referee "Get some new uniforms, guys. It's too bad the colour man perts of the larger world of media Hawks through the magic of tele- of the WLU-Moncton match-up, Turn out the lights." The reply wasn't from one of the participa- will take a little more notice of vision. It's always nice to know all but accusing him of having from the normally snarky Mark ting schools. As it turned out, the Hawkey Hawks in the future. the big boys from the media take a look at university sports once in a while, and to hear what they have to say about varsity hockey. Are drugs problem for WLU athletes? on a The friendliest voices the tube, not expectedly, belonged to By Wayne Riley lance. Skiing, for example, is just as dirty as any other sport. CKCO-TV's smiling duo of Wayne Kooyman and Jeff Blood doping can now be caught through the aging of red blood On Monday, March 13 the WLU Track team was subjected to Hutchison. Kooyman went.as far a' cells. The testing done picks up athlete profiles and can pick up 1 part 30 minute seminar on the evils of illegal drugs and the testing proce- as saying "way to go Laurier" on per million of a substance in the body. To catch blood doping, blood dures used to detect their use. the air after the Hawks won the testing and urine sampling will be done. a minute video steroids. OUAA championship. I guess it The presentation started off with 15 about So far the biggest snag in getting conference-wide testing for uni- makes up for Pete James' un- University athletes from all over Canada in hockey, wrestling and versity athletes implemented is the University of Western Ontario. interviewed, abashed rooting for Western on swimming were as well as coaches and doctors regard- The Mustang officials refuse to accept testing of their football players use side effects. The athletes felt the use of CFPL-TV. Their coats may have ing steroid and the because they feel that they are clean. Steps are being taken to get was cheating, steroids were not needed to improve. changed from red to grey, but steroids and that Western to accept testing, or they will be forced to drop out of the at large drug they are still homers by nature. This same film was shown a seminar in Alberta the CIAU. TSN is winning more and week before with favourable feedback. Seventy five percent of a University of Toronto Physical Educa- more kudos for its increased presentation drug testing procedures A on the followed. The tion class came back with steroids one day after they were ask to get coverage of CIAU sports (after was a Canadian team from the Uni- presentation made by drug tester some if they could. At the CIAU track meet, 36 people were tested all, you can only show Speed was Cross versity of Waterloo, and associated with the Canadian randomly, one per event. One person was tested a second time but Week so many times in one Country Ski team. How testing took place and what testing is were results were not available. week) and the team it assembled the major topics brought forth. In Norway, where he went with the ski for the CIAU semi-finals dis- team, five banned substances were found in the Canadian medical The major point of the seminar was that it is up to the athlete to played excellent professionalism. box. 222's (codeine), Tylenol and cough syrup are among the banned make sure that they are not on a banned substance. If you are caught, The duo of play-by-play man substances on the list. you are banned from sports for two years and after two years you Paul Romanuk and colour man must go through two drug tests at your own expense ($6OO-$800) be- The onus is on the athlete to inform officials ahead of time that a Bill Watters may not have seen fore you can return to the sport. substance is being used that may be on the list, but that they are using any of the four semi-final teams The last point to to an ailment and not enhance performance. Ironically enough, of the seminar was that it is illegal inject some- play before, but they showed they it cure thing into FOR EVERY BANNED SUBSTANCE THERE IS A LEGAL SUB- the bloodstream, but you can inject cortozone directly into did their homework and gave the the STANCE TO SUBSTITUTE FOR IT. injury if the shot is documented. A list of over 125 banned sub- uninitiated a sound background stances was then shown to the athletes and the meeting was ad- on the teams, not missing an op- Even some of the less prominent sports are coming under surveil- journed.

What's Happening at... I ¥¥ <[ L : Come one...Come all J I : to the always-popular i I

from 60's, 70's, 80's I W.L.U.S.P.

; Meetingi Saturday: March 25 /89 I General 0 ￿ Gary Buck's Country Showcase ! ; THE AGENDA ITEMS WILL INCLUDE: featuring I k * Ratification of President, I A' Cherney I ￿ Mark Hand ; (feature performer on CBC's Tommy Hunter Show) * J Ratification of Directors, < I ￿ Tony Karg J I < ￿ Annie Quong p ? booking ofJ 150 people or more, I ; Dave Wilmenng < 112 fl .J * Monday thru Friday ■ Membership clause ; J -course requirements for members * PHONE MERV at 884-0220 I j The meeting will be held in the Turret's Willison \ "WATERLOO I Lounge at 2:30 sharp on Friday, March 31. < ri t < /?TTi\ Where warm and < friendly hospitality is a tradition All Students Welcome! ' AAA A A A Random rantings on sports snippets By Brad Lyon companied by several oranges Waterloo Siskins and Stratford petition—Anne Ottenbrite and we came close on a couple of oc- and bananas. Not only did such Cullitons. Oh well, what can you Lenore Doucette. Anne came casions—-this year in hockey, and After spending the better part stupidity endanger Rob Dopson do? home with a bronze, a fourth and last year in football and soccer, I of a weekend in Toronto watch- in the Laurier nets, but it slowed a fifth, while Lenore grabbed a think we all have to be pretty ing university hockey, and after the game down. You know, it's Continuing on in the area of ninth and a tenth. Not bad for a proud of our school's athletic perusing some of the local dailies really scary when a trained police stupidity, there is a story else- school that doesn't even have an achievements. We're one of the with reference to sports spec- force can take lessons from where in today's Cord that dis- eight lane pool. smallest varsity competitors in tacles and happenings, I want to WLU's Supercops on how to cusses the issue of drugs in uni- It would have been really nice Canada, yet we compete admirab- use this, my last chance to spout secure a hockey game. versity sports. The CIAU has if we had been able to win a na- ly with the "big boys". I guess off as Sports Editor, to comment blacklisted over 100 different tional championship in some this is what Tuffy Knight wanted on the wacky world of sports. Beef number two. Where has drugs for athletes who are partici- sport during my four years here at for this school two decades ago the local television media been all pating in various varsity sports. WLU. But, we didn't, and al- when he came to WLU to coach First of all, who was paying season for university hockey? Some of the drugs include cough though I'm disappointed because basketball and football. the Metro Toronto police who There are two universities in this syrup and tylenol. Geez, I'm sure were supposedly acting as fine city with two very good that by outlawing cough syrup, sports fans security at Varsity Arena on the hockey teams. Yet to listen to the powers that be are going to Sayonara weekend? Nobody, obviously. Wayne "and now we along with really influence the outcome of The last regular paper of the Bosco for making my life, and Two weeks ago at the Bubble, you go t0..." Kooyman, Jeff races. Give me a break. year - finally! A time to look the lives of my writers a little every fan entering the arena was Hutchison and Steve Young, back, reminisce, reflect and all easier. forced to undergo a body search you'd think the Kitchener But things aren't all bad. I that rot. It's been a good year in Finally, I would be remiss if I for alcohol and any other poten- Rangers were the only hockey think the students, staff and facul- Laurier sports. didn't say thanks to some of the tially damaging substances. team town. There was no video ty at WLU deserve a warm round in And you, the students, faculty people around the office who CIAU's, nothing. Hell, coverage Hawkey of applause for their support of At the of the Hawks and staff of Laurier knew about it have listened to my problems how do you think York's fans got this season whatsoever, until they the Hawkey Hawks over the past all because of a group of dedi- over the year, and helped out cabbage into the arena nationals, And few weeks. This past weekend we a frigging hit the of course. cated volunteer writers who gave when things got rough. You all final game on Saturday. to top it all off, CKCO had the had by far the best and most vo- for the up their valuable time to cover know who you are. said a cabbage. It hit the nerve to get some fdm footage of cal fan support (and we didn't Yes, I these sports. second goal, ac- the Junior game between the need fruits and vegetables). On ice after York's B I'd like to extend well- Thursday night, our fans filled the some deserved thanks to all my writers entire arena. At Brock two weeks over the year. Serge Grenier did ago, the number of Hawk fans Tiptoe through the everything that an editor could tulips filling the various nooks and ask; Scott Morgan kept me up to crannies at the Thorold Arena Qtart&ac'f&x& v""V By Sam Syfie date on goings-on within the was certainly a welcome sight. world of the A.C.; Brian Owen is ■Wednesday March 29thl 1. What is the maximum number of clubs a golfer may use in one my successor in this job; Shelley And we certainly must con- round? certainly brightened my I RAZORBACKS I gratulate the Hawkey Hawks, Burns How many stitches are there in the seams of a tennis ball? days around the office; Mary 2. themselves. After starting very ■with the Winchesters! 3. What is the theme of the Harlem Globetrotters? Anne deßoer got smart, and gave song slowly before Christmas, Wayne on writing news; Jeff Dragich 4. What is the Italian game thatresembles lawn bowling? Gowing's charges came alive in up I•••••••••I was the who ans- 5. What sport is played on the largest field? the middle of January, losing only only person wered my ad for writers; and I Wednesday April 5th 6. Who won the first overtime championship game in NFL history? two games after January 21. Un- 7. Who was the first boxer to hold the world heavyweight title three fortunately one was the national finally, who can forget Stephan I GRUESOMES I Latour, the only writer I know times? finale, but for a team that wasn't with HOUSE OF KNVES® who gets more excited than the I 8. In what sport are stones thrown at a house? even supposed to get out of its players at the games he covers. I 9. What's the traditional hour for a bullfight to begin? division, they can be darned others, like proud of their efforts. Above all know there are 10. What diceroll in craps is known as "Big Dick"? Wayne Riley, Joe lannandrea, things look even better for next I EVERY FRIDAY 3-7 p.m. Stumper: Who was the last white world heavyweight boxing Janet Smith, Sarita Diaram, and i year, as only four Hawks will be champ? Dan Howe, and my crew of | BLACK CAT BONE I lost to graduation. It's just too photographers, notab- LIVE BLUES bad I'm graduating, too, so I sports most JAM ly Brian Craig. You all deserve a won't be around to witness anoth- something. Johansson Ingemar Stumper: Polo 5. er charge to the nationals. day off or Ten 10. Bocci 4. Thanks are also extended to pm 5:00 9. Brown Georgia Sweet 3. At the same time as the hock- the Athletic Department and es- Curling pecially the coaches and John 8. Zero 2. ey team was winning, we can't Ali Muhammad 7. Fourteen 1. forget two other Laurier athletes Colts Baltimore The 6. Answers who represented our fair institu- tion in national com-

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MISSILESBy Andy Tomec Ross, a professor of international studies at Simon "In principle, centrist Democrats in the.U.S. Reprinted from The Peak Fraser University. Congress are disposed towards putting this kind of University Canadian Press "The Germans went first, and the Soviets had (arms control) agreement into place. This is not be- Barbarossa (the Nazis' surprise invasion of the cause they are mushy-headed liberals. I would argue they For almost five hours, the U.S. Air Force bomb- Soviet Union) to contend with. The Japanese went that are hard-headed realists. Why? Be- cause they want er flew over the Canadian Arctic, starting at the first, and the Americans got Pearl Harbor. In don't a cruise missile threat devel- Beaufort Sea, then heading south along the Mack- nuclear warfare, the conventional wisdom goes: oping against North America - as it eventually will when the Soviets enzie River valley to the Primrose Lake air 'you go first or you don't go at all'." get their own program up to speed. North America weapons testing range in northeastern Alberta. The instability this new philosophy adds to an is virtually indefensible." (In an interview It is March 2, 1989, and strapped to the belly of already unstable nuclear world is compounded in February, Igor Lobanov, an official at the B-52 bomber so its guidance system can be yearly, as both superpowers race to modernize their the Soviet Embassy in Ottawa, ack- nowledged checked is the new U.S. "stealth" cruise missile nuclear inventories. Whether they become faster, the Soviet Union was developing its which has just successfully undergone its first test more accurate, or more invisible, the common own cruise missile program.) over Canada. denominator between new systems is an increased If the Soviets come up with their own equivalent of the stealth A month earlier, political life imitated the art of capability for surprise attacks. cruise, there will be substantial pres- destruction on February 1 when the Canadian As a faster, more accurate and more invisible sure in the U.S. Congress to spend more money on government approved an amendment to the 1983 version of an already dangerous predecessor, the a comprehensive early warning system around U.S. Cruise Missile agreement, clearing the way for six stealth cruise becomes exceedingly difficult to jus- borders. tests of the new stealth cruise missile over Cana- tify as anything but a "first-strike" weapon. "We, as Canadians won't be immune to that dian territory. Even groups like the Ottawa-based Canadian pressure," Ross says. "We may get drawn into Touted as "a major breakthrough" in weapon Centre for Arms Control and Disarmament, which levels of defense expenditures which would make any. prime minister technology, the stealth cruise (AGM-129A in mili- supported original cruise testing, say Canada will blanche. Worse yet, if we're not willing to defend tary parlance) is the latest innovation in the be guilty of complicity in creating a new first- the northern approaches to the continent Pentagon's controversial cruise missile program. strike weapon if stealth cruise tests proceed. ourselves, there is always the danger that the Americans Like the stealth bomber and the rumoured And the modernization continues. "Stealth tech- will do it for us." stealth fighter, the stealth cruise has a radar- nology actually represents the second stage in a If the rationale against Canada's involvement absorbent plastic hull which makes it invisible to three-stage development program," says Peter Ram- with new cruise development is clear, the rationale for radar detection. As well, the special exhaust system sey, coordinator for End the Arms Race. "At this supporting the Americans is less so. The tradi- tional cools hot gasses before they can escape into the air, point we're still dealing with subsonic missiles. But argument that we are supporting our NATO allies has lost its making infrared detection difficult. what's on the drawing board now is a supersonic credibility, says Ramsey, since the Improvements in the missile's "terrain contour cruise missile which incorporates stealth technol- cruise is a bilateral issue, not covered under the um- mapping system" - a computerized eye that checks ogy." brella of the NATO agreement. terrain against a digitized map to see if the missile Canadian government officials have admitted "The elite in this country believe that any kind of has drifted off course --also make the stealth cruise that the stealth missile has first-strike capacity but support for the U.S. is equal to our commitment more accurate. they argue it would take about five hours for a sub- to NATO, but I think there's a growing body of A missile fired from Winnipeg and aimed at the sonic cruise to reach Moscow, while intercontinen- public opinion in Canada that says our relationship pitcher's mound at Olympic Stadium in Montreal tal ballistic missiles take only 20 minutes. to NATO is questionable at best, and that we would be considered to miss if its nuclear warhead "I think that by trying to test the three com- shouldn't be engaging in bilateral agreements with hits home plate instead. ponents separately, the Pentagon thinks it can get the U.S. just because we're a member of NATO." But technological innovations don't always around the criticism that it's a first-strike technol- Ross asserts that even if Canada wanted to back equate with security. In the Orwellian world of ogy," says Ramsey. out from testing the new cruise, it has very little nuclear strategists, nominally "defensive" weapons The American cruise missile program was ability to do so. The Americans are only dependent like the cruise take on a distinctly offensiverole. originally justified with the claim that it couldn't be on Canada for 20 per cent of their exports, while 80 Cruise missiles are targeted at the vulnerable used in a first-strike role because its speed (about per cent of Canadian trade goes to the U.S. This command and control centers which are crucial to the same as a commercial airliner) made it easy to gives Canada precious little leverage with which to an enemy's ability to retaliate: political leadership, shoot down. risk American annoyance if we "just say no." launch centers, satellite control centers or early- Even if we accept the dubious American claim "Leverage?" he quips. "Leverage is a verv dif- warning radars. that the stealth cruise will not be used in a first- ficult word to use, juxtaposed to Canada. Leverage Like the proverbial bully with a glass jaw, each strike role, in the short-term, the weapon could do is not something we really possess. One can have a superpower stands poised with weaponry capable far more damage on the arms control front than it capacity to persuade, one can make arguments of blowing the other (and likely the rest of us) off could on a nuclear battlefield. about the United State's enlightened self-interest in the map, but they are increasingly becoming aware With the Soviets being an estimated seven to ten not developing these systems, but leverage - no of their own vulnerability to a surprise attack. years behind the Americans in the computer tech- that's not Canadian." A few dozen well-placed surprise shots at Soviet nology critical to producing similar weapons, a sud- Canada should limit itself to quiet diplomacy, or American command and control centers could den leap in American capability may poison arms persuasion, lobbying and "making the best argu- blind and disarm an opponent seriously enough to control negotiations by convincing the Soviets that ment we can as to why this isn't in the best interest "win" a nuclear war, some expert analysts predict. the Americans are seeking nuclear superiority. of the United States," says Ross. The Soviets call this "changing the nuclear cor- The real problem for arms control negotiations is Canadian peace groups, however, disagree. relation of forces," Americans call it "counter that professional military in the U.S. and the Soviet "The real issue here is the willingness of the Cana- force." Both countries have implicitly accepted it as Union are looking for an arms control agreement dian government to get involved in the arms race,"

part of their nuclear battle plan - if only to deter that will "de facto" disguise some dimensions of su- says Ramsey, noting the Ministry of National the enemy from doing the same to them first, they periority, says Ross. Defense's stubborn resistance to the thaw in super- claim. For the U.S. Air Force, the cruise missile is one power relations. of the programs to be protected. But if the U.S. Canadian peace activists are outraged not only at Former defense minister Perrin Beatty's 1987 Congress goes ahead with the stealth cruise and the the federal government's approval of the new tests white paper on defense still paints the world in B-2 stealth bomber, a clear signal is sent to the but also with the speed the decision was made. Cold War terms, calling the Soviet Union an Soviet Union that Americans are not interested in agreement was finalized a "ideological, political, and economic adversary The mere 12 hours genuine strategic balance. after the Ottawa announced it considering the whose long-term aim is to mould the world in its was Says Ross, "It will be extremely difficult if sig- issue. "Clearly the government made this quick and own image." nificant numbers of these (stealth) weapons are pro- dirty," says Green Peace official David Kraft. "This "Even the people of the United States are begin- duced to convince the Soviets that an arms control is not the first time we've seen an attempt to slide ning to change their thinking, with the rising agreement will be worth the paper it's written on - by a debate, or dodge critical Canadian public deficit, climate, Union's and the Americans haven't tucked a couple the new world the Soviet opinion." that decision to unilaterally withdraw troops from away for some late-night emergency in 2003." and the INF treaty. It seems like our own Frank Kennedy, an executive for End the Arms Such a negative perception on the Soviets' part Europe, government is going 180 degrees in the opposite Race, a Vancouver-based coalition of 230 com- could tip the balance in the Soviet political system direction," Ramsay says. munity groups, expressed similar feelings in an back towards elements, says. more hard-line he "We're going against world public opinion and angry telegram to Brian Mulroney's office. If the Americans are serious about arms control, coordinating our activities with what the United "This is not representative of the Canadian Ross argues, they should resist the temptation to States government wants," he says. people's opinion and is unacceptable in a demo- seek immediate strategic advantages in exchange "The wants to into a new re- cracy. This decision should be reversed now," he for long term insecurity. He feels it is possible, and government enter u/rntp in oiron/Ana'c Kaof infaraof lationship with the United States, and part of that