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5-10-1961

Kenyon Collegian - May 10, 1961

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Recommended Citation "Kenyon Collegian - May 10, 1961" (1961). The Kenyon Collegian. 2157. https://digital.kenyon.edu/collegian/2157

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speech at Kenyon I ment I than 1UU colleges ner of a 1957 Academy Award here IN THE RENOVATOR Letters to the Editor 2 Renovator Cops Award 3 Faculty in Washington 3 HI JjllljWlWrtr The Last Laugh 4 Words of Wisdom 4 Survey Ranks Kenyon First 5 New Books 5

H U A C 6 From the Lunch Box 6 7

Kenyon Goes Co- ed 8 The Best of Hika 8 James Reston Praises Us New Library 9 Rugby Team Replaces Gentlemen Renovation 9 I wish to congratulate you for your marvelous last issue Never Published daily by the Faculty twice a year have I come across such fine re- porting in a collegiate newspaper Your staff is evidently a very smooth- running and well trained organization Letters To The Editor Throughout the past twenty- one years as an alumnus of Ken- yon I have wondered how you Dear sirs the locust onslaught upon Salt manage to put out such a wo- As the preceeding Renovator Lake City in 1847 if only the nderful publication Grammar and edition did not deem fit to include soul of Brigham Young could be punctuation have been flawless a representative student criticism docked before the HUAC pictures have been clear and of the activities of the HUAC Objective discrimination was tasteful and the editorials have and more specifically of the cel- used by that small band of be- been most provocative and pe- luloid Operation Abolition hum- leaguered Renovator reporters in rtinent ble duty pricks one to tender an their review of the impact of the I can only say to you keep up opinion on these matters which celluoid OA One apt and suc- the good work I would like to he judges to be more or less cinct recark pursuant of the dis- see more articles on organizations representative of much student cussion in consequence of this at Kenyon for this has been a sentiment and thought on these small masterpiece was that it field in which you have especially vital not to say explosive issues was a fruitless ploughing of the excelled Freedom and liberty of the Amer- sea from which no real notion Enclosed is money to cover the ican people Cherished privileges of the truth emerged Brethern cost of forty copies of your last invidiously and insidiously un- no sea has ever yielded a more issue Im sure all my friends dermined and abrogated by the meagre harvest believe me Fel- would want a copy so please rush underhanded Machiavellian tac- low Americans the odalisks of them to me tics of the HUAC Bah Does our free- thinking society are James Reston not every red- blooded American deeply rooted in proud traditions grasp the significance of the work among which are enumerated the EDITORS NOTE Past copies that this body has so magnificent- cardinal virtue of freedom of of the Renovator may be obtained ly accomplished in the past dec- thought Only through the un- simply by filling out the blank ade that with pride it upholds stinted efforts of this epochs fore- below and by sending 20 cents to Our Democracys most venerable most statesman has this virtue our office Archons excluded and time- honored institutions been kept intact more glossy and McCarthyism Noble Republi- spangled today than in the pagan Please send me back issues cans and Rightist Democrats days BM We must never for- of the Renovator Vols all today we are summoned to get men to rally round the flag issues I pay 20 each before you do that rally be- defend the bullrushes of our but Name State mighty fortress against the hind the benevolent soft spok- dreaded Red the vilest nox- en kind hearted brethern of Address iousest scourge and parasite that HUAC Country Date has bombarded the fair land since Meade Alcorn hUK IHt ItLtPHUINt COMPANY RENOVATOR COPS NATIONAL PRIZE 1 7 r 1 1 The Renovator was honored re- I cently at the annual convention of the College Newspaper Asso- ciation which won First Place for best coverage of campus And for best stile Spelling consist- ently correct with no tipografical errors Mr Rupert Richards in accepting the award for the Col- legian stated that The staff

The competition featured thirtythi- rtytwo other college papers frum around the coontry In a comparison of total advertising profits for the year the Renovat- or led oil with 11186708403 for a total salary to editors of r 11187507229 the remainder be- V V t ing transferred to the Contineg- ency fund of the Stuedt Council appreciates this award more than I can say I I Jim and Al campus barbers were credited with total advert- I VaVS V sing of 181 inches for a total IM payment of 88409 to lead the field among Renevatar advetisers Thwarted by crusading opponents of discreet literate corruption the un- salaried There is nothing I can add remnants of Kenyons fourth estate divided the last of their ill- which would adquately cover all gotten gain the inviduals responsible for this The biology department and the Pre- Med club took up more news SEVEN space than any other source with FACULTY MEMBERS a total of two articles and 142 letterstothee- ditor LEAVE FOR WASHINGTON especially Fred Kluge Leading Renovator reporter for Seven members of the Kenyon Rep Gordon Smearer from a the year has not been determined faculty enjoyed an unusual break nearby Ohio district a member It is currently a close race be- in routine last week They were of the HCNA greeted the profes- tween Professors Ritcheson and in Washington DC by invitation sors expansively by telling them Thornton and Dean Edwards of Representative Frank Wilters that their recently published D Pa chairman of House The Ranivler is also honrod the statements about the HCNA film Committee on Non- American Af- Opposition were to get your prize for Most Wishy- Aberration fairs HCNA Making the trip fine examples of non- Washy editorials in a Year American were Gerhard Rollit Associate activity He asked second year in a row then each if Professor of English Paul Snoup he knew that the Kenyon College Assistant Professor of Political Faculty had been listed as a front Science Warndon Lanner Pro- organization of the international Youll Find fessor of History Erwin Feld- Intellectualist conspiracy berg Instructor of English Paul Mr Feldberg speaking for the English By Ford Hosiery Tortoise Professor of Economics group refused to answer the ques- F Oink of Top Siders Robert Professor tion on the grounds that it was Classics and Carlton Thorbes xenophobic Professor Rollit ad- Desert Boots Professor of Biology The invita- ded that whatever the Faculty tions which quaintly bore the might be it was most emphati- Bass Weejuns decorative Latin word subpoena cally not a riot Only at the meaning of which is remote Representative Wilters resumed were delivered April 20 by per- the questioning asking Professor LEMASTERS sonal messenger showing the es- Tortoise if he knew how many Mount Vernon Ohio teem in which the faculty mem- card- carrying Intellectualists there bers are held by Mr Wilters Cont on Page 10 Col 3

HAS W UC uuu vv ta w i speech at Kenyon ment than 100 colleges ner of a 1957 Academy Award here

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Seen from left to right are the four lovely finalists for Dance Weekend Queen Contest They are Linda Lust escorted by Charles Rae Richardson Figgie Flogger escorted by Norman Vincent Dubiel Marsha Pitts escorted by Ali Babba Twitterpo and Sophia Buggs escorted by Johnny Boyle LAUGH Words of Wisdom THE LAST One of any Kenyon mans great Last Tuesday morning the Kenyon Student Assembly voted to do away experiences here is that moment with the payment of all salaries to the editors of Kenyon publications during the orientation week of With malice towards none the Renovator takes this opportunity to thumb his freshman year when a meta- its nose at the wretched Student Body of this foul place and to say to hell phorically minded administration with you Jack weve got ours begins to tell him what college What difference does it make life is all about We reprint be- to us the preservers of Kenyons esffssSsSijij low excerpts of that speech a fine literary tradition if paltry As I see you before me you sum is taken from our coffers crewmen of the Class of 196 I more loot we would We have than wonder how many of you maties care to to you im- reveal the will be able to steer the old ship poverished and nearly illiterate straight on the sea of life that is people who are reading this now keep the old basketball dribbling But fact is since you stu- the that on the eternal court that is dunk dents have felt it your duty to rise a few shots in the hoop of suc- up and smite those who have cess that is keep your tail wag- to your we brought light darkness ging in the worlds kennel feel it our duty to retaliate by ex- what I wonder sea- you unknowing thats posing to souls men the true financial conditions of your newspaper How many of you will set the You have been led in your ef- old sails straight bring the old forts to render us penniless by cruiser through the old gale with one Bat McClaw who spoke to flying purple and white colors you nonsensically in terms of Im salt sure folks that all you hundreds of dollars McClaw young captains courageous can weather the old storm claimed to know the exact figures to hell with you Jack and all the rest involved in the weve got ours Some of you I know will scu- case but now the Renovator is ttle the old ship foul up the old to to you Bribes 2950 proud present accurate rigging be torpedoed run a- records of our financial situation Distribution 984 ground on the scholastic sandbar Legal directly from the books of our fees 3678 Some of you wont have the treasurer in an effort to show to Total liabilities 8498 chowder to stay on deck guiding you that we do indeed have the Perhaps it may seem strange to the old rudder when the old last laugh the more observant of you that storm is at its worst Thats show some of our sur- For the year 1961 minus month liabilities are biz To quote that great poet of small or some of of May prisingly that the sea Captain Eprhraim Ish- Income our liabilities are surprising Per- mael Baile- Hai mit us to explain Subscriptions S 4550 negli- who venture forth from Advertisements 9830 Our publishing costs are Not all simple port Newsstand sales 13214 ble for the reason that we Are sort College funds 11900 are blackmailing our printers of the a gung- ho gung- ho gung- ho Gifts grants etc 42325 The result has been remarkable drop of bi- mind and quite Total income 131819 in the cost our weekly Have quite the Liabilities editions the heart of to finish they start Publishing costs 541 The payment bribes to the what gung- gung- ho 210 campus police constitutes one of gung- ho ho L Overhead Photography costs 135 Cont on Page 7 Col 3 Cont on Page 7 Col 3

rurc inc iLLLrnuiNL uuivitminy 5 II SI i SI I l il SI I I I I H B i ll ffif El i il iilUHin i l i i l SurveyRanks illlilillil ii i lilii i i i i i liran i i mi u hi ii i i ai si i l l ii i ii i I m 1 warn I 1 HI S 1 I i 111 lifiisii HI 5 11 ll I I 11 i I IIIIH iili lli I I I i i in ililll IS kii1 Kenyon First III bit mm I 1 II illi if FLASH FLASH FLASH As we went to press the Chicago Tribune Mount Vernon News Columbus Star and Knox- County farmers Alert announced the results of their recent college rating liill survey KENYON HAS BEEN RANKED FIRST The results of the survey

1 KENYON COLLEGE 2 Bowling Green 3 OSU 4 Calcutta Friendship Institute 5 Arthur Murray Studios 6 Central High School Little Rock 7 Denison mm 8 Yale iiiiiiiiifiiiitiiiiii 9 Harvard 10 Princeton

In commenting upon its place- eSzZK I iHiiiIW ment of Kenyon the committee observed The redeeming virtues r1 of this intellectual oasis compel Vjlu llKI II mU fiiiiSliS us to overlook such minor flaws J as the utter lack of facultystu- dent Tf- iiiii W to wuHiiiitiliiiiiiiiiiiiiliijiiililii- relations the state of virtual i iiriiiiiniliiiilliliiiiiii riiililllliiiliiii ii civi- lwar between Kenyon and DAS EWIGE WEIBLICHE ZIEHT UNS HINAN agree this years Dance Mount Vernon number of books Weekend judges Taking time out from more serious endeavors to survey in library size of library dormit- rnapshols of young eligibles the judges met in secret to reach their ories political life social life in- final solution which will be revealed tonight tellectual life and all that kinda stuff 2 Its distinguished alumni Few colleges can claim a graduate Such academic nonsense pales president more important none OFF THE PRESS by comparison to the schools can claim Paul Newman LIBRARIES DO WE NEED good points which include 1 Its none but Kenyon Indeed it of- THEM by F E Based sense of charity We have never Lund ten seems as if Kenyon does the on personal experience at Ken- encountered a school with a phil- claiming for everyone else Is yon College anthropic sense equivalent to with chapters on there anyone in Gambier who did fund- raising make- Kenyons Indeed we have never brochure not know Paul Newman anyone up 10 pages of Abortive Li- even heard of a college that mani- who was not his intimate friend brary Plans fests its concern for lower- ranked did not rehearse with him party institutions by annually contribut- PARLIAMENTARY PRO- with him do his shirts cut his CEEDURE by G H Roelofs ing the cream of its faculty mem- Is any fraternity to hair there basso profundo bers to other schools In Septem- which he did not belong Subtitle ber we are told Gambiers Route Its Finger Snapping Time 1 looks like Wilderness Road illustrated with sound track 3 The architectural sense Among favorite campus pastimes Kenyons deep concern for con- IM NOT IN THIS BUSI- is the game Professor Professor tinuing expansion Student at- NESS FOR MY HEALTH by vho pirated the professor Con- titudes clearly indicate that the Restaurateur Trippito Some ceded some teachers resign other college allows nothing utterly chapters included are How leave on sabbatical but at such nothing to stand or march in to Sneak By Duncan Hines a warm and human place as Ken- the way of such improvements Why I Charge For Forks yon the distinction between the Administration officers explain Matches Are Expensive two has long been forgotten Call that all minor complaints deaf- PEEKABOO WE SEE YOU it a resignation leave of absence ening dormitory noise closet- size The Kenyon Police Force sabbatical what have you the rooms 50 men to a bath- reminisces about decades of Lund missionaries all disappear room will be solved by the new bad timing Full of witty an- into the gaping gold- plated maw library whose construction is a- ecdotes ribald quips just of second rate state universities waited with a zeal surpassing that seems to bubble over never to be heard of again accept in legend Cont on Page 9 Col 2

111 wuc vm- i uuaiutc iruuuwaiu speech at Kenyon ment than 100 colleges ner of a 1957 Academy Award here HELP UNALCOHOLIZE COMMITTEE WAGES BATTLE HERE FROM THE A film called Operation Pro- hibition has been shown on several campii in the hinterlands surrounding Kenyon The film is published distributed and spon- sored by the HUAC Help Un- The New Plagarism Alcoholize Cenyon One can immediately see the bankruptcy of In a college where originality is purported to be valued the mentality that produced this highly where students are expected to employ their own film by the way they spelled minds to the utmost we find that the students here are rely- Kinyen The organization has ing less on themselves and more on the reference work that many members who are connec- others have done1 Consider any number of the Mickey ted with WCTU which has Mouse papers that Kenyon students hand in They are many members who belong to pock- marked with footnotes2 riddled with an infintesmal churches which belong to the number of esoteric quotations1 Not only do students rely National Council of Churches of on quotations but as James Conant has pointed oue many Christ which is allegedly pinko of them actually have had the audacity to take the quotes that Therefore the HUAC is pink the author being read has himself quoted and use them as or at best dupes their own This is the the highest most blatant form of Not only is the organization mental prostitution Its bad for the soul4 pink il is also facist Several of What can be done about the plagiarism that our teachers its members are seen wearing have sanctioned because quotation marks and typed numbers academic gowns at specific times to be during the school year Any in- are dotted neatly after it What is done about the formed liberal knows that an brain- picking that crawls on every paper in the guise of academic gown is just a full scholarship What really is the real effect that this type of length black shirt As further this type sanctioned robbery5 proof several of these persons have been known to study the Yet we can perhaps take this argument to a quasi- logical Betula Betulacoae Which any extreme Emerson may have had something there when he Botanist knows is a said Next to the originator of a good sentence is the first a BIRCH Need we say more quoter of it1 On the other and perhaps more relevant The pictures which were col- hand7 we can not ignore Al Smiths declaration that the lected to form this documentary great man is the man who does a thing for the first time are alleged to have been taken during Fall Dance Weekend It 1 See John F Larkys book on The College and the Mind consists of pictures of obviously 2 The word footnote it should be pointed out has been often mis- spliced film clips showing Ken- used Footnote as Webster 2a makes clear is a note at the yon students studying going to foot of any page wheresoever indicated classes frequenting the library 2a Webster Daniel The Footnote in American Contemporary Usage and acting in a sober manner Holmer- Laski and Co 1951 It further insults our intelli- 3 Contrary to popular belief it shoufd be indicated Bergan Evans gence by showing peaceful order- considered this important that quote is not even in the most ly scenes in the Coffee Shop colloquial sense a proper spnonym for the aftermentioned The classic scene is one of wait- 4 It is interesting if not significant to note that Conant here employs ers rioting in protest to measures the same phrase that Rickover used in his speech to the nation which prohibit their working Fri- Rickover had said It is bad it is disgusting See his book day and Saturday evenings Sat- Conant and Change urday and Sunday mornings 5 See John F Kennedys Profiles in Courage These waiters were obviously 6 Emerson here may have been patting himself on the back As a dupes of the HUAC Help fight student he quoted incessantly receiving the highest marks in all types of Non- Alcoholism bibliography technique See Penn Warrens Emerson Tragedy Learn the real facts about of the Mind dance week ends Get your copy 7 Although this phrase at first glance or even second glance of In Search of Sobriety from strikes ones eye as being perhaps awkward it was employed and Bob Wineglass and re- quite successfully at that by Edmund Wilson member its better to be an free- 8 Smith a New Yorker said this before the election of 1928 at a thinking drunk than an HUAC cocktail party given to him by the YMCA See Bob Kennedys dupe new study What Happened to Al rurc inn i llltmuinl uuivitminy I Last Laugh Cont from Page 4 Col 2 our major expenses We suspect that very few of you know just LUNCH BOX what goes on in the luxurious Collegian office in the post- dance hours of the college social func- tions All this must be paid for Occasionally the Renovator is sued for libel by the Kenyon Kokosing faculty To handle such emer- Picnics gencies we have on hand a battery of Harvard- trained legal Probably the greatest objection to the new fraternity experts They have served us well system comes from the Independents They suggest there- If you should care to do a bit fore that instead of renovating Leonard Hall all classes begin of arithmetic you would find that next year at 1130 In referrence to this Jess Falkenstein was we have earned ourselves a tidy quoted as saying profit of 122321 to dispose of as The plan will never succeed because the we wish Salaries are given only to baseball team doesnt like it Furthermore Denison Univer- the staff writers 84700 per man Perhaps this is you sity is too far away and if the river overflowed what were it wouldnt speaking of Mr McClaw The matter to them anyway What would happen then The editors use the remaining funds to crucial problem that faces the Pan- Hellenic Council is wheth- enliven their vacation periods in such play spots as er Capri the river will be rennovated If it is classes will have to Havana Miami and Steubenville be held on the trestle Therefore we must accept the plan So we feel safe when we say of the baseball team that the efforts of the Student Assembly mean very little to us Since this is true however the Chapel will have to remain We publish this information to where it is Unfortunately this cannot be done because the you only because we know that nothing to Chapel isnt where it is now and probobly ever be can be done change wouldnt this set- up there again So we have an enviable the whole added complication Also food college administrative system is for the baseball team would have to be supplied by the rotten to the core with Renovator Chaplain and the Registrar If the Pan- Hellenic Council gets cash Some day we may leap hungry they can all go to the picnic But since the river will into our grave laughing but for present at least we can say be renovated all baseball games this week will be the moved to to you all lump it boys the Chapel and the congregation will be moved to the river for a picnic with the Pan- Hellenic Council The Independents Wisdom however who you will recall objected strenuously to the Cont from Page 4 Col 3 plan in the first place will have their picnic in the power- Pause I always pause ra- house ther liked that sort of like the old- time sea- chanteys isnt it What has been forgotten in the whole thing nobody knows Yes some of you will fall over- One thing is above all however quite inevitable someone will board become the flotsam and have to clean up the picnic And who and here is the crux jetsam of the collegiate sea but of the problem who is going to clean up the Sunset Club Im confident fellow voyageurs most of years Last Thursday Mrs Roller was quoted as saying I that this armada rather will attain the old harbor with the like the Village Inn Mr Tritterfool immediately afterwards aid of an old lighthouse like me was quoted as saying I like Ike but they cant throw my Itll be rough I realize that To antiques into the river The immediate result of all this quote that great poet of the sea was that the registrar was given a written reprimand by the Captain William Shakespeare not everyone can endure the fish Judicial Board for draining the river The long- range effect hooks and harpoons of outrage- was to put everybody in the registrars office on academic ous fortune but youll get probation for 3 weeks and girls have to be out of the river there Happy sailing galley before the Independents slaves Thus is must be concluded that Mr Trittertool should feed the registrar the registrar should join the baseball team and The Peoples Bank the Pan- Hellenic Council should merge with the Independ- ents Secondly the Judicial Board should hold its meeting Member of Federal Deposit Insurance Corp in the power house and Mrs Roller should blow up the Sun- set Club Any other solution would be nonsensical Gambier Ohio 7

rt uuuwaiu wui speech Kenyon ment I than 1UU colleges c i n t a here at KENYON GOES COED 3L ERIES SHUTS DOWN The recent announcement that Kenyon will become co- educational has had many far- reaching effects The decision to immediately begin admitting women students was due in a large part to the recent Tribune survey Marengo Tribune that is which stated o that although Kenyon is the best liberal arts college in the central part of Knox County its students rank among the horniest in the United States This latter fact was attributed to the lack of femin- iKa ine companionship on campus To alleviate this reprehensible con- dition Dean Thomas J Edwards by I A S Quasimodo announced last week that Ken- yon would allow the first able- I bodied girls who applied to enter AND YOU the college and finish out the academic year Although some In the late summer of that year I and you walked through meadow of the girls feared with Kenyons the moo- cow endlessly being on a hill the plan might And watched the not be on the level the college Rocking jump over the moon was swamped with applications must some and the girls have begun to in- Surely this be revelation flower vade the campus For the hand that drives the Is the force that drives the greeness Correspondence has been com- Of my youth And yet that same hand ing in fast and furious Among That felled the tree before us the more noteworthy letters were Carved its name on puerile bark proclamations from the student While it slouched to Bethlehem in bodies of Western College for Fearful symetry burning bright Women and Lake Erie College for Women denouncing the action Then in the meadow I thought I kept proclamations from the male stu- the universe alone dents at Denison and Ohio Wes- Now I ask you with my eyes leyan supporting the action and if you liked what I the tired muse an irate telegram from one Gracie have written Lanier of Mansfield in complete opposition to the new ruling You say you like the newness and clarity Of my objective correlative coming of girls Due to the the But you have promises to keep major additions were made two And like a pagan in age outworn to As is already the curriculum Fall a patient co- a done in many ed schools etherized in sex with added course the on a chair lab will incentive of a four- hour asleep be offered to all who are inter- ested At press time seventeen professors including the entire English department had offered to teach the course A course in charm taught by Mrs Roller will also be offered Director of Ath- letics Dr F M Falkenstine an- KOUSOULAS nounced that wrestling will be added to the intramural program CLEANERS Inc The girls have already begun 2 East Gambier St Worleys forming their own clubs The Amount Vernon Ohio Virgin Club will hold its meet- STORE FOR MEN ings in the Lewis Hall telephone booth Of course the girls have their fan clubs Two of the first Dorothys Lunch to appear on campus were the 102 South Main Street Johnny Kushan Fan Club which Gambier now defunct Red replaces the BEER and FOOD L Buttons Fan Club and the M Cont on Page 10 Col 2 8 rurc inn illlthuinl uuivitminy IIBRAR Y FUNDS GIVEN TO NEW RUGBY SQUAD F President Edward Grund electrified his audience when he dis- closed to the RENOVATOR last week that an international rugby team is being formed on Campus a move unprecedented in Kenyons entire 25- year history sure you agree Im will that Heading renovation plans at Ken- yon this is the biggest thing to hit the College is Omar Squeeze Hathaway Mr Hathaways ac- Campus since the bonfire of 49 complishments include the Silver commented the ebullient Grund City Opera House Lackawanna Railroad Station Goober Texas past captain of the Washington Ellis Island Beltsville Chicken and Lee Rugby Club The only Farms and Palestinian Refugee Camps reason I came here in 1957 was His most recent contract included the rather broad super- to form a rugby squad but I had vision of the Chinese commune no idea that I could ever swing system this international deal he said A smile stretched from ear to ear We have been granted ad- STUDENTS CHEER RENOVATIONS mission into the International Rugby Conference I managed to schedule only five games for our ARCIIONS ERECT SHIBBOLETH first year to commence next Sept- Due to ember but I did get us some considerable concern about the ever- increasing academic and social competition We will play Edin- banality of Kenyon College the administration made a deft maneuver to burg U of London Cambridge curb tendencies in this direction Oxford and Hiram Perhaps Weekend Offer the most significant move by the Board was its Grund proceeded to petrify the The Campus Police announce attack on the housing problem Ken- Renovator staff when he announc- that they will cooperate with at the yon Likening capacious Leonard ed that the 1 million allocated students this weekend for a very modest payoff Also and Hanna Halls to tenements for the construction of a new li- prices will be cut for all fac- Mr Fund feared for the students brary would be immediately re- ulty members caught between welfare Mr Fund a channeled into the support of the 800 and 900 and duplicate frequent prizes will be to visitor to the fraternities said He new team I am sure that the awarded anv co- eds who are able to leave continued I certainly wouldnt student body will sympathize after the weekend want this school to turn into a with me he said As as I far slum area am concerned the formation of a Survey rugby team is far more important Architects were quickly found Cont from Page 5 Col 2 than the erection of a new library and after a thorough study of the We can think about building a of VE Day and the Second Com- situation plans for improvement new library some other time and ing though the actual date of were drawn up The obvious so- I just had to cash in on this gold- library completion seems less cer- lution to the whole problem was en opportunity It was a now or tain than either of those events to house more students in the never situation 4 Devotion to the liberal arts same area giving to the commun- idea Despite ity a certain rapport never known Asked why so much money reports that Ascen- sion di- before Fraternal activities were vould be needed to organize and and Mather are clearly vided that meet to be enriched by some new first maintain the team Grund flip- the twain never a floor observers who were de- pantly replied Rugby that continuing warfare exists balls are lighted with the prospect of living expensive Next asked who the between the two despite reports of gut majors courses in basic with seldom- seen friends team coach will be the abashed etc we cannot President walked away dilettantism but The furnishings of the rooms believe that development of the were most tastefully designed This ap- whole man is a of confused scribe then basic article and to be decorated in plush ply- proached Darrol G Harding Kenyons faith wood and Byzantine blue A par- Harding is the newly appointed All this leads us to the un- ticularly delightful feature was Director of Athletics following alterable conclusion that Kenyon to be the installation of twin stalls the recent dismissal of Flip Salk- College despite problems of in South Hanna bathrooms All enstein for ungentlemanly be- dwindling faculty academic snip- in all however consistency of havior both on and off Campus ing a few lost illusions and a few decor was the artistic keynote I asked who the rugby mentor illusions that ought to be lost re- ill opinion ran in favor be and Harding shied away mains a bastion of quality edu- Student like a of Mr bold movement horse in a fire He finally cation It is hoped but by no Funds although answered I think the selection means assured that the fort will Mrs Fund was some Cont on Page 11 Col 1 be held Cont on Page 11 Col 1 9 to obtain informa- Kenyon Goes Co- ed In an effort tion from the top the Collegian 1 Cont from Page 8 Col interviewed President F Buck Stanton Evans Fan Club their Lund who stated Going coed motto Id like to get liberal with Why didnt somebody tell me that conservative Their president remarked If he can get cute with Dr Baker hes cute Faculty Leaves PickupQ- Cont from Page 3 Col 3 Xgm mmmm enough for us The uick Club announced that in are Gambier He said he knew CLOSED I in rill the interests of respectability it none but Mr Snoup asked to would change its name to the for an hour and a half RESTAURANT speak and Poetry Club This club is plainly delivered such a thorough analy- going from bed to verse sis of the situation illustrated by incomprehensible blackboard dia- Most of the students were in grams that he was subsequently favor of coed dormitories but administration was against cited by the Committee for Co- the Congress the proposition To effect a com- nfusion of promise a committee was ap- Under questioning Professor pointed and came up with the Oink admitted that he had once following plan Men will be been in San Francisco He also allowed in womens rooms from admitted that he had once been noon to midnight women will be a member of an organization ad- allowed in mens rooms from vocating peace Congressmen midnight to noon shuttle buses Smearer stated taken separate- Ripleys Believe it or not will be provided from 1150 PM ly none of these disclosures is to 1210 AM In an effort to damning but taken together we brighten up the womens dorms have a clear picture a sort of the BacktoNa- ture Club has be- mosaic showing the insidious in- gun planting flowers in what fluence of Intellectualism in our were formerly used as pots colleges A six- man detachment was dis- The meeting was interrupted patched with four gross of erasers repeatedly by the audience where to remove the porno from the some persons were heard to be walls of the library rest room and clanging pots upon kettles MANUFACTURING library annex but only after an Ohio State graduate student had PRINTERS compiled all the lewd remarks PATRONIZE THE and pictures for his masters CO thesis on Moral Values of the ADVERTISERS Depraved College TVIan

ALL TOGETHER NOW ONE TWO THREE chimes Kenycns ROTC drill team participating in recent Mount L Vernon Bismarck Day Parade The blood and iron boys led by Oberhauptmannleutnanteroffizierkapitan Von GeorgesundQuon- setHausen report A gut time vas had by enough 10

rurt mr irirrnuiNL UUIVirAINY Rugby loom irom raqo 3 iol ij might meet with the disapproval NEW YORK Leather Goods Repairing 0f some students but the man we UNIVERSITY have chosen is Dicky Phlinger Hell be the first to admit that he never was much of a lacrosse announces the 3rd QUALITY conch but rugby is not lacrosse

I nodded but demanded more JUNIOR YEAR IN LUGGAGE information as I congenially applied a full hammer lock I called Otterbein late yetserday AND and asked to talk with Phlinger but it seems that he is presently LEATHER employed as a housepainter in 1961 62 jelloway I was told that he suffered a nervous breakdown at of the GOODS the end of his last year and has incoherent ever since He University of Sao Paulo been 8 South Main St had to take a job where communic- is not ation important For Information write Mount Vernon Ohio Director Junior Year in Brazil This brings up the question of Washington Square College Phlingers worth as a rugby of Arts and Science New coach a sport in which communi- York University New York 3 N Y cation is usually required To Luggage Wallets this Harding suggested Maybe the shock of another abortive athl- rvv- 11 year xryjAr etic here would cause him n n n jpcWWWWWrmwwwiwM rlllll IITm j to snap out of it Besides I hear that he is pretty good with sign language Grund who says that his presi- dental career at Kenyon is now a complete success was last seen iortifying his house As we went to press a handful of students apparently in favor of a new library were collected on his front lawn enjoying a cross burning Some had already started to attack the house with battering rams and crude catapults Cries from within the househ- old resembling Lets sit down and talk this thing out peacef- ully and from outside vulgar cries of Lets renovate him were heard

Renovations Cont from Page 9 Col 3 what bewildered at the presence fclMiiiiiiniim m I mmmmmmmmm nmiiiirwnirMiiOTtiimtiwM SSS of a piece of timber on her doors- SttMjrHl HttfArtf- Xt ft lt i I tep Franz there was the big- tl gest thing on our alls front porch I just cannot understand what those white trash are up to Winter Weekend saw several I A G I J X X I now creations which were indi- O RA ative of student approbation One ji partcular an erection of the Archons was a subtle abstraction f Mr Funds artistic sensitivity Everything was well summed up in the inspiring cry 2468 We dont want to renovate 11

Woodward win- 100 colleges his wife Joanne speech here at Kenyon ment than ner of a 1957 Academy Award li it L I orce ft J nave n

Decidedly not In fact most executive jobs are on the ground Of course all officers may apply for pilot and navigator training if they meet the eligibility requirements There will always be a peed for piloted aircraft And it is foreseeable that in your working lifetime there will be piloted spacecraft piloted and navigated by Air Force officers But right now there is also a big future for college- trained Air Force officers on the ground New and exciting technical jobs are opening up Important administrative positions must be filled as World War II officers move into retirement How can you a college student become an Air Force officer First theres Air Force ROTC Then for college graduates men and women in certain fields there is Officer Training School The graduate of its three- month course wins a commission as a second lieutenant Other ways are the Navigator Train- ing program and the Air Force Academy Some benefits tbat go with being an Air Force officer Starting salary plus allowances compare with the average in equivalent civilian jobs Then theres free medical and dental care thirty- day vacation the chance to win graduate degrees at Air Force expense and liberal retirement provisions No Air Force officers do not need wings to move up Theres plenty doing on the ground Perhaps you could be one of these young executives in blue Ask your local Air Force Recruiter Or write Officer Career Information Dept SC13 Box 7608 Washington 4 DC if you want further information about the navigator training or Officer Training School programs US Air Force Theres a place for professional achievement on the Aerospace Team

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