Lettitor

The life of a lowly intern had the honor of interning at one of the to prove your worth to the right people. Asking for feedback is good, but door is shut forever—and it’s important Icity’s leading news publications at the The truth of the matter is that most actually learning from it is even better. to know when it might be open next. end of my two-year journalism diploma of your superiors are not going to be all Internships usually last for only a month I spent a few months freelancing at program. A few hundred articles, a bit of that invested in the work you’re up to. I or two, so higher-ups might not consider the end of my internship. As soon as some luck, a lot of words, and 12 months later was lucky enough to intern at a place that it worth their time to ensure that you’ve staff members went on vacation and a and I’m now working there full-time as allowed me to write my own articles, but actually got everything down pat. temporary, part-time position opened up, a staff writer, partially overseeing the I have heard some horror stories about Sometimes it’s quicker for them to just I was the person they called. I did that for newest crop of journalism graduates interns being used solely to deliver coffee. If fix up your work themselves than it is to another few months before being offered as they start their own internships. the place you’re working at isn’t giving you explain exactly what you did wrong, but full-time. While the freelancing pay wasn’t To say that I learnt a lot in the four work that flexes the skills you’ve studied, if you can prove that you’ll act on those all that consistent (when is it ever?), I took weeks I spent on the bottom rung a year or doesn’t have you, you know, actually criticisms, they’ll likely appear more whatever jobs they offered me, because I ago would be an understatement, but it’s learning anything, it may be time to let often—making you better at the job in knew being someone they could rely on was only now that I’ve experienced both sides your professors know about the situation. the long run. Ultimately, it’s making what would lead to that eventual phone call. of the system that I’ve really gotten a grip If you are put on actual work, there are the job easier for those above you that Organizing, training, and supervising on how internships work, and exactly how a few things to keep in mind as you go about will put you in their good books. interns is work, so doing everything to turn them into full-time employment. your business, and rule number one is to Don’t seem too eager. It might sound you can to minimize that work, along So listen close, students, because keep yourself from becoming an annoyance. a little counterintuitive, but one of the with creating quality content, is what this information could come in handy This means keeping the questions short most unattractive things you can do in will keep you around in the long run. a few months down the line. and to the point, taking it into your own an internship is beg for a position once No matter what career you’re hoping hands to figure out (certain) problems as your time is up. Schedule a professional Cheers, to find yourself in, most students will they show up, and only chiming in on the meeting with your immediate superior find themselves in an intern-like position office discussion if you’re positive that a (even in “professional meeting” means shortly after graduation. While it’s definitely joke is going to land/a piece of information going for a coffee one afternoon) to have a not the most impressive position to have is important to share. Workers spend a serious discussion about your prospects in Chandler Walter on your business card (please oh please serious portion of their lives in their offices, the company once the internship is done. don’t get business cards while interning) and the last thing they want is an added Sometimes they may not have an opening internships are an extremely valuable way annoyance buzzing around the space. at the time, but that doesn’t mean that the

OO The Other Press has been Douglas College’s student newspaper since 1976. Since 1978 we have been an autonomous publication, independent of the student Angela Ho union. We are a registered society under Rm 1020 – 700 Royal Ave.  theotherpress.ca Business Manager the Society Act of British Columbia, governed by an eight-person board Douglas College  Jacey Gibb [email protected] of directors appointed by our staff. Distribution Manager New Westminster, BC V3L 5B2    /theotherpress Our head office is located in the New Lauren Kelly  604.525.3542 /DouglasOtherPress Westminster campus. Graphics Manager OO The Other Press is published weekly Elizabeth Jacob during the fall and winter semesters, and Production Assistant Chandler Walter Rebecca Peterson monthly during the summer. We receive Editor-in-Chief Assistant Editor Cara Seccafien our funding from a student levy collected  [email protected]  [email protected] Illustrator through tutition fees every semester at registration, and from local and national Colten Kamlade Kwiigay iiwans Lauren Kelly Staff Reporter advertising revenue. The Other Press is a Layout Manager Graphics Manager member of the Canadian University Press  [email protected]  [email protected] Greg Waldock, Jillian (CUP), a syndicate of student newspapers McMullen, and Katie that includes papers from all across Czenczek Canada. Jake Wray Caroline Ho Staff Writers News Editor Arts Editor OO The Other Press reserves the right to Analyn Cuarto  [email protected]  [email protected] choose what we will publish, and we Staff Photographer will not publish material that is hateful, Jessica Berget Brittney MacDonald Jerrison Oracion, Ed Appleby, obscene, or condones or promotes illegal Opinions Editor Life & Style Editor Veronnica MacKillop activities. Submissions may be edited for  [email protected]  [email protected] Senior Colomnists clarity and brevity if necessary. All images Jason Gokho Ing, J. Savage, used are copyright to their respective Mercedes Deutscher Klara Woldenga Eric Beaudoin, Megan Jewell owners. Social Media Coordinator Humour Editor Contributor  [email protected]  [email protected] Have an idea for a story?  [email protected] OO BC voting age could drop to 16 OO New Westminster to consult with residents on cannabis rules OO Royals place second in men’s basketball national championship News And more!

Douglas College Intramurals Photos by Analyn Cuarto Analyn by Photos

Analysis: Indigenous groups lead latest anti-pipeline protest ööLand claims, Indigenous rights at forefront of Kinder Morgan controversy

Greg Waldock Nations organized the protest, helping to arrange the time and location Staff Writer and performing songs and dances during the event, emphasizing the ndigenous leaders were among important role Indigenous activists Ithe loudest and most prominent and governments have played in of the thousands of people to the ongoing pipeline debates. attend an anti-pipeline rally in They are among six First Nations to Burnaby on March 10 and 11. file a court challenge against the Trans Over five thousand people Mountain pipeline, alongside the City

appeared to protest the controversial of Vancouver and the City of Burnaby. Photo via Ian Harland on Stop Kinder Morgan on Burnaby Mtn Facebook page Trans Mountain project, which is The potential negative environmental supported by Kinder Morgan, the federal impact of the project is at the forefront “Enough politics, just build the pipeline,” Columbia, the federal government has government, and the Alberta provincial of many anti-pipeline arguments, as counter-protesters included former approved the progression of the Trans government. The project, along other well as Indigenous land claims along the gas and oil employees and residents Mountain project. A BC supreme court with other proposed pipelines in the proposed pipe route and the ongoing legal of towns that could be financially judge granted Kinder Morgan an interim province, has been the source of a dilemma between Alberta and British harmed by the collapse or delay of the injunction March 9 forbidding protesters wide array of interrelated debates and Columbia for the responsibility of clean up project. Frequently-cited arguments from coming near their facilities for a discussions in British Columbia for in case of a spill. These issues, and others, were the financial profitability of the number of days. Though the injunction pipeline, Kinder Morgan’s history of a number of years now. The laying of were raised once again at the protest. initially only lasted until March 14, this environmentalist funding, and the pipelines has raised issues as diverse A follow-up pro-pipeline protest shows that some BC officials are willing to large amount of safety regulations as environmentalism, Indigenous land was held immediately after, drawing let the Trans Mountain project continue. rights, and provincial sovereignty. around two hundred activists in defense that keep existing pipes secure. The $7.4-billion project is expected to Members of the Musqueam, of the ambitious Kinder Morgan Though legally challenged by continue after legal disputes are settled. Squamish, and Tsleil-Waututh First project. Running under slogans such as cities and First Nations around British news // no. 4 theotherpress.ca

BC voting age could drop to 16 ööGreen Party leader makes third attempt to lower voting age

Jake Wray promises to reduce hip and knee replacement lineups frankly because News Editor it’s targeting a demographic.” It’s important to engage youth in our democracy,” Premier John Horgan said he o you think 16-year-olds are Green Party leader Andrew Weaver is open to the idea of lowering the mature enough to vote? D voting age, according to CBC News. Green Party Leader Andrew Weaver “If you start voting as soon as you does. He introduced a private member’s can, you will probably vote for life,” bill in the legislature March 13 that he said. “If you put it off and put it off would lower BC’s voting age to 16. This and put it off, you might never get into is Weaver’s third attempt to lower the a voting booth, so I’m going to look voting age, according to CBC News. at Mr. Weaver’s proposal and talk to Weaver said lowering the voting the house leader and see if it fits.” age will increase voter engagement Anastasia Gaisenok, executive among young British Columbians. director of Check Your Head: The “I believe, and a growing number Global Youth Education Network, said of nations across the world believe, that in an interview on CBC’s The Early it’s important to engage youth in our Edition that lowering the voting age democracy precisely at a time when they could significantly change BC politics. are learning about it in schools,” Weaver “It will change the political told CBC News. “And we know that if you landscape over time,” she said. “I think vote in your first election, you are more this will encourage more young people to than likely to become a lifelong voter.” run for office and vote for politicians who Increasing youth voter engagement represent their needs and perspectives.” is crucial, Weaver said, because youth She said she believes 16 and issues tend to be neglected as politicians 17-year-olds would embrace the focus their attention on older voters. right to vote, if they received it. “When we look at election “Given the opportunity, [they] campaigns right now most people participate and express their typically campaign to the demographic opinions and are prepared to take they know that will vote. Which is action on them,” she said. the 65-to-74 [age group], 75 per cent Scotland, Brazil, Argentina, and of them turn out,” he told CBC News. Austria all have a voting age of 16. “That’s why we hear election campaign Cuarto Analyn by Photo City of New Westminster to consult with residents on cannabis rules ööCity responsible for retail regulations

Colten Kamlade Staff Reporter

ew Westminster, like many Nother cities in BC, is working to put in place the necessary bylaws to regulate the sale and use of cannabis as the Trudeau government strives to have recreational use of cannabis legalized by July. A regulatory framework recently announced by BC’s NDP government already outlines many of the cannabis restrictions that will be enforced. Despite the provincial regulations, New Westminster still has many decisions to make as to how they will proceed. Some questions regarding cannabis sales, non-medical cannabis production facilities, business licensing regulating, public consumption, and personal Cuarto Analyn by Photo cultivation are yet to be answered. email interview with the Other Press. conducting, Coté did not elaborate. same areas as tobacco smokers. Cannabis In response to this, the City “At this point, it looks like the City The federal government planned to use, however, will be prohibited in of New Westminster is planning will be proposing regulating cannabis legalize cannabis by July of this year, but areas that children frequent, such as to hold consultations so the public retail in a very similar fashion that the their cannabis legislation is currently parks, playgrounds, and community can have their say in how cannabis City regulates private liquor stores.” tied up in the senate chamber. It’s beaches. Those who are interested in is regulated in their city. The exact dates of the public unclear whether the Liberal government cultivating cannabis for themselves will Jonathan Coté, mayor of New consultation have yet to be will meet their July legalization deadline. be allowed to grow up to four plants. Westminster, outlined the kind of finalized, according to Coté. According to the Province of British To ensure that businesses selling responsibilities the city was being “The City is planning on conducting Columbia website, the minimum age cannabis don’t pop up in the city before given and the kind of solutions public engagement on this topic in the for cannabis possession in BC will be the drug is officially legalized, New that are being considered. spring and I believe a town hall meeting 19, as is consistent with tobacco and Westminster has approved a zoning “The main responsibility being is being scheduled in May,” he said. alcohol laws. Adults will be able to carry amendment bylaw to clarify that the delegated to municipalities when it When asked for further a maximum of 30 grams of non-medical drug is currently illegal to sell. comes to cannabis legalization is how details about the kind of public marijuana in public, and they will be retail will be regulated,” he said in an engagement the city was planning on able to use the substance in most of the Sports Photo via CCAAsportACSC Flickr Royals place second in men’s basketball national championship ööDouglas lost the title to Seneca Sting in close final match

Eric Beaudoin compete for a national title since 1993. in transition. Obviously, we will have to to take the largest lead of the game by do a better job…it’s a national final, you’re 13 points while holding off the physical Contributor The game opened with dominance by the Nomads, who outscored and going to have to play your game,” he said. Royals offence. Capitalizing on steals outplayed the Royals on both sides of the and going back in transition was the game Seneca adopted to maintain the The Royals men’s basketball team traveled court. By the end of the first half, the score Final gap and hold off the Royals to win to Laval, Quebec to compete in the was 45-34 for Montmorency. Nomads’ Canadian Collegiate Athletic Association player Alix Lochard recorded 17 points in The Seneca Sting took home the CCAA the CCAA National Championship. Men’s Basketball National championship the first half alone while the Royals top National Basketball Championship title Reese Morris was named Player March 13 to 17 after winning the British scorer was Reese Morris with six points. at the Montmorency arena in Quebec by of the Game for Douglas after Columbia provincial title earlier this During the halftime break, a score of 86-73 over the Royals March 17. accumulating 20 points, with seven year. Eric Beaudoin, a journalism student Coach Enevoldson rallied his team. “We finished second in the country rebounds and three assists. Kameron at Concordia University, attended “I said nothing inspirational but just and we lost to a team that hit more shots Johnson was also strong, scoring 18 the national basketball tournament factual. The first half got away from us, than us tonight, so hats off to them,” said points, five rebounds and four assists. in Laval and provided coverage of we missed a few layups and we get those Royals Coach Joe Enevoldson post-game. Coach Enevoldson addressed the Royals’ final two matches. and maybe we’re not down 11. We stayed The game got off to a slow start for what this game means to his our course and did what we did,” he said. the Royals, who allowed themselves to get mostly-veteran squad. With the reality check the Royals’ down by 13 points a mere three minutes “Initially it will be disappointing. Semi-final coach had instilled on them, the Douglas into the game. A reactive timeout was Obviously, you get this close and team came out looking like a new and enough to shift the momentum in favor of you’re up one at half. But ultimately The Douglas College Royals stunned re-energized team. The Royals scored 17 the Royals. They took the lead by the end at the end of the day, the guys will the hometown favorite and defending unanswered points in the third quarter of the quarter after an incredible 18-point look back at it, and will have had a national champions Montmorency to take their first lead of the game and run. A back and forth battle ensued in the memorable experience,” he said. Nomads 93-87 in semi-final action at a five-point lead into the final quarter. second quarter with the halftime score The Royals fought hard throughout the 2018 CCAA National Basketball The Royals never let the Nomads get eventually being 35-34 in favor of Douglas. the tournament, facing only teams Championship in Quebec. within four points in the fourth quarter It did seem, however, that the with higher rankings. They beat the “Oh, my goodness, it feels despite the many scoring chances and Seneca Sting were breathing new life second-seeded SAIT Trojans on day great!” Royals Head Coach Joe fouls. Whenever the Nomads scored, after halftime. They gapped the Royals one and followed that with a stunning win over the top-seeded Montmorency Enevoldson said after the game. the Royals responded immediately. Nomads, which paved the way to play The excitement didn’t stop there The game eventually ended with the The guys will as guard Grant Campbell expressed Douglas Royals winning 93-87. the other top seed, Seneca, for the title. look back at it, The loss marks the fourth time the his feelings after the game. Player of the Game for the PACWEST champions Royals finished “I am speechless right now. I’ll let Douglas Royals was Kameron Johnson, and will have who recorded 33 points, and Player second at the National Championship, you know when it all sinks in,” he said. of the Game for the Nomads was had a memorable dating back to 1993. For Seneca, however, The win allows the Douglas Royals the win marks their first-ever National to move on to play for the CCAA National Alix Lochard, who scored 26. experience,” ­ Title since their inception in 1967. Championship title against the Seneca The focus now turns to the gold The Douglas Royals will travel College Stings from Ontario. The last medal match between the Royals and - Royals’ head coach back to British Columbia as 2017- time the Royals were in this position Seneca Sting to which coach Evevoldson Joe Enevoldson 2018 PACWEST Champions and was in 2008, when they won in Quebec. has already shifted his attention. silver medalists at Canadian College This will mark the fifth time they will “Seneca really looks like they can go basketball’s highest level. Have an idea for a story?  [email protected] OO ‘Munchkin: Rick and Morty’ card game review OO Creative Writing Department presents ‘Pearls 37’ OO ‘Ready Player One’ is packed with references Arts And more! Artist Spotlight: Emilie Crewe öö‘Tributaries’ video installation

Jillian McMullen memories and the cultural histories of the people who have chosen the Staff Writer Fraser River area as their home. In an interview with the Other milie Crewe, a Vancouver-based artist, Press, Crewe remembers becoming

may not have grown up in the Lower Cuarto Analyn by Photo E obsessed with archival material while Mainland, but it has become her home gathering content for her video. since moving here after grad school. collaged into nine windows.” 40 hours of content she collected “When it was commissioned, I When the City of New Westminster put Crewe spoke with a variety of was added to the archives Crewe started doing a lot of research in New out a call to artists looking for works that different New West residents, including consulted at the onset of her project. West, starting with the New West would convey their own feelings of what Chief Rhonda Larrabee of the Qayqayt The Be/Longing exhibition is the Museum and Archives,” said Crewe. home meant, she jumped at the chance First Nation, and politician Fin Donnelley, culmination of over a year’s worth of “I was pulling a lot of files that had to to add her voice. Her experimental video who swam the 1,325 km length of artist collaborations with the City of do with industry and the Indigenous collage Tributaries, which was first the Fraser River in 1995 and 2000. New Westminster, which commissioned band that is in the area, which is the screened late last year, is now part of Be/ “I collected tons of different stories the works that make up Be/Longing in Qayqayt band. I tried to gather as many Longing, a new exhibition at the Anvil from different people. I would find people celebration of Canada’s sesquicentennial. stories I could that had to do with the Centre’s New Westminster Museum. by word of mouth. People I contacted It opened on February 18 and will run in past and present of the Fraser River. The title references a river, but would suggest, ‘Oh, you should talk to the museum until October 8. Considering “I wanted it to feel like a Crewe describes it as “more of a nod this person,’ or, ‘Go check out this thing, its proximity to the Douglas College contemporary version of a scrapbook to the concept of paying tribute to a go to this place.’ It turned into a summer campus (and free admission), there’s no where you might see different larger entity.” The video documents of collecting over 40 hours of footage.” need for residents to travel all the way to pictures and stories throughout,” New West residents, narrating the She narrowed her footage down downtown to appreciate art—it’s alive and she said. “That’s why the video is to a 12-minute video, but the full thriving in the City of New Westminster. Canadian Screen Awards logo via Academy.ca Canadian stories recognized at the Candys ööRecap of the 2018 Canadian Screen Awards

Jerrison Oracion In film, Maudie won Best Film, In drama, Anne got Best Drama and won three awards including Best Local and every other award for which it Best Supporting Actor in a Drama for Newscast, and they were recognized Senior Columnist was nominated, sweeping the show R.H. Thomson’s portrayal of Matthew for their coverage of the BC provincial with seven awards. It also won Best Cuthbert. However, the shows with election last year, where they were the anada has a lot of unique stories told Actress for Sally Hawkins and Best the most awards are Orphan Black first station to project the results. through film and television. These C Supporting Actor for Ethan Hawke. and Vikings with three each. Orphan Finally, the Canadian Screen Awards stories are diverse and talk about different Ava received two awards including Black also won Best Actress in a Drama gave out special awards including the aspects of Canadian life. Last year, a the First Feature Film Award and Best for Tatiana Maslany, who has won the Academy Board of Directors Award to lot of these stories were shown around Supporting Actress for Bahar Nourian. award for every season of the show. Margaret Atwood; the Academy Icon the world and they were recognized in Nabil Rajo won Best Actor for Boost, In miniseries, Alias Grace won Best Award to Rick Mercer Report, which the 2018 Canadian Screen Awards. and it is a film to watch for when it Miniseries and is tied with Cardinal with will end next month; the Earle Grey The award show this year was becomes more widely available. six awards. Alias Grace was also awarded Award to Clark Johnson, who made hosted by The Beaverton’s Emma Hunter In comedy, Kim’s Convenience won Best Actress in a miniseries for Sarah many contributions to the Canadian and Murdoch Mysteries’ Jonny Harris. Best Comedy after a very successful Gadon, and Cardinal was awarded Best entertainment industry and was They were so good at hosting it this second season and received three awards Actor in a Miniseries for Billy Campbell. in a lot of shows, most notably The year that I think both should host it in total, also winning Best Actor in a The Baroness von Sketch Show Wire; and a lifetime achievement again next year. Hunter did a segment Comedy for Paul Sun-Hyung Lee and received Best Variety Show and swept award to Peter Mansbridge. called This Time Next Year where she Best Supporting Actor in a Comedy for the awards with five wins. It’s a great You can watch most of the winning predicted Canadian content in the Andrew Phung. It’s tied with Schitt’s show, though not a lot of people watch films and shows on DVD, Blu-ray, future, and in another part Harris read Creek, which won Best Actress in a it because it airs in the summer. and streaming services to see how the acceptance speeches from some of Comedy for Catherine O’Hara. In local news, CBC News: Vancouver diverse these Canadian stories are. the people who did not get an award. issue 24 // vol 44 arts // no. 7 ‘Lion in the Streets’ play review ööIntimate, diverse stories weave together in classic Canadian play

Caroline Ho Arts Editor

ion in the Streets sweeps Laudiences along in an emotionally tumultuous adventure of intertwining stories and deeply-buried truths. The latest production from the Departments of Theatre and Stagecraft & Event Technology, written by Judith Thompson and directed by Claire Fogal, opened on March 16. Lion in the Streets tells a colourful ensemble of stories, and at the play’s heart is nine-year- old Isobel, a First Nations girl adopted into a Portuguese family, on a quest Tanya Tagaq to national to discover what has happened to her. favourite The Tragically Hip to hit Along her search for truth, she uncovers indie acts like Cœur de pirate and Feist, a myriad of other secrets—forgotten, the score comprehensively showcases repressed, and tucked out of sight. Canadiana in many of its diverse forms. The play boasts an impressive Lion in the Streets is as much a array of characters, with many of its play worth watching as it is a montage Photo of Scalato and Isobel by Dahlia Kerr 13 student and alumni actors playing multiple roles over the course of the show. With the exception of Lion in the Streets will the indomitable Isobel, a lot of the run until March 23 in the characters appear in only one or two the outside, struggle in the play are Laura C. Muir Performing scenes, yet their limited moments on to confront their inner demons. completely comical, even though the Arts Theatre. Tickets can stage are enough to intimately introduce Thompson’s script masterfully material they grapple with should be still be bought online at audiences to their circumstances and weaves together these many personal sombre. Other scenes are utterly and https://lioninthestreets2018. build up the audience’s emotional scenes, letting each of them linger long agonizingly horrific, as characters face investment into their personal struggles. brownpapertickets.com/. enough to truly touch the audience situations that are embarrassing or There’s Sue, for example, the weary before transitioning seamlessly to downright heart-wrenching. However, wife and mother who wishes to keep another story. Separately, the tales the play’s ambience of faint surrealism of stories worth telling. Isobel’s quest her family together. There’s Joanne, all have their own charm; taken allows its moments of absurdity to reaches the heart of issues that are who conceals beneath her pragmatism as a whole, with Isobel’s character reach full hilarity, while also allowing direly in need of examining and a hopelessly, tragically picturesque flowing through each, they’re a these moments to intermingle and bringing to light—coming to terms wish. There’s Rodney, the research mosaic of what it means to be alive. overlap with periods of solemnity. with trauma and abuse, acknowledging assistant haunted by an overbearing The play also manages to balance The score of Lion in the Streets the darker realities of humanity, and boss and the tantalizing, turbulent absurd hilarity and moments of raw uses exclusively Canadian music, which reconciling the broader disconnect memories of a childhood friend. These trauma, with just enough magical enhances the play’s local and national between who we think we are and who characters along with the others in the realism to make it work. Some scenes familiarity. From Inuk throat singer we believe we’re supposed to be. play, composed though they seem from Chairman of the Board: It’s f*ing SCIENCE! öö‘Munchkin: Rick and Morty’ card game review

Ed Appleby few years ago, so I’m going to focus on what’s different—and, in my opinion, Senior Columnist better—with this version. First of all, this version is absolutely brutal! Traps are much more frequent and can have devastating effects, including losing ihilism is a fascinating thing. When large amounts of your treasure, being Nyou accept that the world is just big unable to help or be helped until you and uncaring and that nothing you do go up in level, or being affected by the has any meaning or effect on this cold last two traps that were in play. There world, it means you have to take the were many moments where I felt like simple hedonistic joys where you can, I wasn’t just playing against the other even if it means turning your friends and players, but the game itself as well. families into viscous piles of space snot. There is also a sharp increase Munchkin: Rick and Morty in complexity with this version. Players (2017) is a PVP game for three to six start out with random character cards people designed by Casey Sershon and that already add rules specific to each published by USAopoly/Steve Jackson player, and the effect of equipment Games. In the game, players take can change if it is paired with certain the roles of characters from the Rick classes, allies, or other equipment. and Morty cartoon as they adventure The new allies can add their own through the universe, kicking in doors effects to the game, and one-off cards and fighting monsters. Other players can can add huge unexpected bonuses Illustration by Ed Appleby help or hinder as you take on all kinds to either you or the monster. you trying to rhyme in order to boost fan of Rick and Morty, or any fan of of creatures from Amish Cyborgs to There is also a much higher the effectiveness of one-off cards. Munchkin. As to how a non-Rick Evil Morty. Victories increase your level level of randomness in this version This version also introduces a new and Morty fan would respond to the and gain you treasures, while defeats compared to other versions of type of creature called a parasite, game, let’s just say I have watched have all sorts of nasty repercussions. Munchkin—some classes have you whose strength is randomized. a grand total of two episodes and I The first player to reach level 10 wins. trying to predict dice outcomes for I would highly recommend thought the game was great—even I reviewed Munchkin (2001) a combat bonuses, while others have Munchkin: Rick and Morty to any though I didn’t get all of the jokes. arts // no. 8 theotherpress.ca Creative Writing Department presents ‘Pearls 37’ ööBook launch event takes place March 23

Caroline Ho will include works of poetry, fiction, personal narrative, and screenwriting. Arts Editor Every Pearls edition and book launch is a surprise thanks to the diverse writing his Friday, the Creative Writing styles and range of presenters, said Bhat, Department offers the perfect T who spoke to the Other Press through distraction from academic papers and email. This year’s launch promises to lab reports: A free evening of readings be just as unique: Pieces that will be by Douglas College student writers. presented include an excerpt from On March 23, the department will be Chlöe Rowat’s story, which involves launching Pearls 37, the latest edition a haunting of cephalopods; a poem of its annual anthology of student by Andy Field about a hummingbird writing. Pearls accepts submissions from encounter; and a script that starts off all Creative Writing classes, written said Bhat. “Attending the launch is further creativity, said Bhat: “Hearing with a musical number in a mental over the past fall, winter, and summer an opportunity for students not only the successes of other young writers hospital, written by Jenny Brown. semesters. The best among these works to encourage their peers, but also can be a real source of inspiration.” Bhat said that attending the event, are selected for publication every March to witness the breadth of creativity, (Shameless self-promotion: Inspired whether as a presenter, a writer and celebrated at the book launch event. talent, and skill at Douglas College.” writers can also consider submitting published in Pearls, or a fellow This year’s Pearls launch will feature Along with readings that are hilarious, their own work to the Other Press’ student, is a great opportunity 10 presenters sharing their writing, terrifying, quirky, pensive, deeply own creative writing section!) to reflect on one’s achievements in addition to readings from the moving, and everything in between, The Pearls 37 book launch is at 7 and one’s journey as a writer. winners of the Maurice Hodgson previous Pearls launch events have also p.m. in the Douglas College Studio “For most students featured in Pearls, Creative Writing Award, according to boasted delightful refreshments and Theatre, on the fourth floor of the New this is their very first publication and Shashi Bhat, Douglas College Creative a fantastic community of supportive Westminster Campus. Copies of Pearls first public reading—in some cases, the Writing instructor and editor of fellow writers and readers. 37 can be purchased at the event or at firsts of many in their writing careers,” EVENT magazine. The presentations It’s also a chance to motivate and foster the campus bookstore afterwards. Promotional image for ‘Ready Player One’ via Warner Bros. ‘Ready Player One’ is packed with references ööFrom sci-fi and horror to ’80s classics Veronnica MacKillop on the poster. Fans assume this Harley Quinn and Deathstroke games like Sagat and Chun-Li. car belongs to protagonist Wade’s When Parzival enters the OASIS, we Other video game characters include Senior Columnist OASIS character Parzival, since see a shot of a Suicide Squad version Battletoads and Overwatch heroes. the licence plate says his name. of Harley Quinn walking in with eady Player One is one of the most Deathstroke. This is probably just a fun Horror legends talked-about movies of 2018, and R Willy Wonka Easter egg, but maybe we’ll see them So far, we’ve seen Chucky and is set to release April 27. Fans can The latest trailer features a version of more than once throughout the film. Freddy Krueger, both in the battle expect a fantastical virtual reality world “Pure Imagination” from Willy Wonka Another version of Harley Quinn is scene of the trailer—the first time created by Steven Spielberg, adapted and the Chocolate Factory. The OASIS seen with the Joker in another clip. we’ve ever seen the two in a movie from the novel by Ernest Cline. is just that—pure imagination. It could together. Horror fans can only hope Since OASIS, the world created also be a nod to the rumour before Gene Christine that there will be some interactions in this film, is a virtual reality, it gives Wilder’s passing that he was going to The bad guys in the OASIS are IOI between the spooky favourites. the filmmakers a lot of creative license play OASIS creator James Halliday. (Innovative Online Industries), to include references to other fantasy and we can see one the baddies Gundam: Anime mecha and sci-fi worlds, just like the book ’80s and ’90s references getting out of Christine, the evil Gundam from the popular Japanese does. Here are some of the references The franchise released some posters car from Stephen King’s film of the series of the same name is also expected you can expect to see in the film imitating ’80s movies such as The Lost same name. It’s only fitting for a to play a larger role in the film, since based on the trailers and posters, and Boys, The Matrix, Beetlejuice, and villain to be driving Christine. the original Gundam is seen in the what they’ll mean for the movie. Labyrinth, to name a few. The official trailers and is central in the poster. movie poster is riddled with even more King Kong Gundam’s inclusion may help the movie The Iron Giant old-school references, with Wade and In another trailer shot, we see King gain popularity in Japanese markets. One of the first things spotted in the other characters imitating poses and Kong leaping from a tall building trailer was the giant robot from the costumes from The Breakfast Club, overlooking the OASIS, so hopefully These are not even half of the 1990s film of the same name. Since he is Star Wars, and Say Anything. These he’s an actual character in the film. references and Easter eggs from Ready also in the poster, and quite central, he references could mean that RPO is Some fans are hoping for a Kong Player One, and it’s fair to assume they’re might have a sizeable role in the film. following some similar storylines versus Gundam fight to play out. saving some for the film’s release. A from ’80s movies, with a twist. movie jam-packed with sci-fi, fantasy, The DeLorean Video game characters and more ’80s references than Stranger The car from Back to the Future The trailers show plenty of characters Things is sure to be a memorable one. can be seen both in the trailers and from the popular Street Fighter Have an idea for a story?  [email protected] OO Studying tips

OO Great inclinations

OO When sh*t hits the fan Life & Style And more! The dangers of Crisis Pregnancy Centres ööWatch out for these deceptive anti-abortion clinics

Lauren Kelly and South Fraser Pregnancy Options and informed of corelative links between Health clinics, many being located in the Centre (Surrey). CAPSS is a registered abortion and breast cancer, which have Lower Mainland, advertise themselves Graphics Manager Canadian charity, and they accept never been scientifically proven. This as pro-choice, sex-positive, and donations from the public to continue experience echoes those of many others available to people of all ages, genders, regnancy is often unplanned. their work. Their clinics can also be seen who have left these centres upset and hurt and orientations. Additionally, many Depending on the circumstances, P advertised on large posters in SkyTrain after expecting support and information women’s centres, such as the Elizabeth what to do next can be an easy choice Bagshaw Women’s Clinic, Everywoman’s for the pregnant person, or it can stations such as Lougheed Town Centre . regarding their options moving forward. Health Centre, and Willow Women’s be incredibly difficult. It’s the latter Crisis Pregnancy Centres promise If you are pregnant or know someone Clinic, offer counselling as well as a group who can fall victim to clinics to provide support and discuss all of the who is, these centres should be avoided, options available to help the pregnant even if an abortion is not desired. Many wide array of health services. Do your labelled “Crisis Pregnancy Centres.” person decide how to move forward. other clinics in the Lower Mainland can research and find the clinic that fits These centres can be found However, what is less clear is that they will provide you with better, more legitimate your needs and location best, instead of throughout North America. In Canada, not refer anyone to an abortion clinic, nor information. The Options for Sexual one that will forward their own agenda 70 of these centres are run by the will they offer positive information about above your happiness and comfort. Christian charity Canadian Association abortions. They focus strongly on the of Pregnancy Support Services (CAPSS). risks of abortion, with some of those risks Thirteen of these centres are in BC, being overblown, and some unsupported with four of them being right here in They focus strongly on the risks of by factual evidence. In 2012 , CTV sent an the Lower Mainland: Crisis Pregnancy undercover reporter posing as a pregnant abortion, some overblown, and some Centre of Burnaby & New Westminster woman to Surrey’s South Fraser Pregnancy (Burnaby), Pregnancy Concerns Option Centre, and she reported that she unsupported by factual evidence.” (Coquitlam), Crisis Pregnancy Centre was shown an image of a botched abortion of Vancouver & Richmond (Vancouver),

#DOUGLIFE Share your photos with us on Instagram using the hashtag #DougLife, for a chance to be featured in the paper! Photo via the ‘Vancouver Sun’

Photo by Nathaniel Christopher

This week’s post is by @studentlifedc #SaveTheRio The importance of saving an iconic cultural space By Mercedes Deutscher, Social Media Coordinator

Vancouver, BC March 2018

“There are many performers who simply wouldn’t be able to get a foot on the stage again without the Rio.” - Tyler James Nicol “Unique, Pleasant hub for comedians and musicians, fell victim to a $14 million interdisciplinary, buyout and now sits empty while developers plan out how tall the welcoming, historic, new condo building will be. Benny’s Bagels in Kitsilano struggles with necessary.” a faint heartbeat as they await news on their closing date. While the –Devon Scott Vancouver Playhouse still stands as one of the city’s civic theatres, its theatre company was forced to bail in 2012, leaving the venue for “A home for strange shows.” traveling or corporatized acts. –Tyler James Nicol “To an artist, the Rio is an invaluable part of Vancouver’s arts and “Megachurch for Vancouver Indie Filmmakers.” – entertainment culture. I can’t actually think of a place other than the Joel McCarthy Rio where you can see a concert, a beloved movie, and a top-notch improv show all in the same week! It’s a special place that celebrates asked local artists to describe the Rio Theatre in five words. all forms of talent in our city,” Scott said. All tell different stories, but all still ring true. As for me, I could only use one word: Extraordinary. “The City of Vancouver profits so goddamn much from the big American film,” said McCarthy. “They should invest in one of the few It was 2012I when I first stepped into the Rio Theatre. places that give emerging filmmakers a voice and help build up the I was barely 16 and rarely left the seclusion of my home in Delta. I was careers of our local creatives. If our dollar swings high again and the on my high school’s spoken word poetry team, and we were there to service industry crumbles again, we have nothing here.” support a teammate through the individual youth championships. I met artists from all over BC in a shroud of red and black, and exited Performing arts have become more competitive as a result. While to a line of people waiting to see a late-night screening of The Rocky unaffordable condos lie vacant across the city, artists face long wait Horror Picture Show. times to produce their works in the dwindling number of venues, especially if they need more than five feet of stage space. Joel McCarthy, a local indie filmmaker, has a similar story. “The first time I went to the Rio was to see Rocky Horror Picture show “The unique position of a full stage with a full-sized screen really gives for the first time. It was a perfect blend of party and movie watching. It a lot of options other venues aren’t built to support,” said Nicol. “There was like nothing I’d ever experienced before, but I was in love.” are many performers who simply wouldn’t be able to get a foot on the stage again without the Rio.” “I finally got to see one of my all-time favourite bands (The Church) in concert,” said Devon Scott, bass player of local band River’s Divide, I wasn’t alone in my desire to save this Commercial and Broadway on her first visit to the Rio. “As soon as I entered the door, I was gem. Something has to be done to save this venue. So, we mobilized, immediately enamoured with the atmosphere of the place. It was and the #SaveTheRio movement was born. amazing to me that a theatre that can hold so many people can feel so intimate and personal.” A petition was started online and managed to collect over 20,000 signatures within five days. With a community behind her, current My love for the Rio has been magnified over the years by local improv owner Corinne Lea’s offer to buy the building was accepted. and burlesque troupes; celebrities like Drew Lynch, Vanessa Carlton, and Greg Sestero; late night movies (that you can’t catch at Cineplex) However, Lea must have $3 million dollars by early April in order to be with friends and lovers; beer and grilled cheese sandwiches. approved for the down payment on the building.

For those who have contributed to arts at the Rio, the connection runs Over 2,000 backers have donated approximately $180,000, according deeper. to the Save The Rio Theatre Indiegogo page. Local businesses have donated gift certificates and Rio mainstays (like The Fictionals Comedy “I performed there with my band River’s Divide last year, and the and Geekenders) have offered their shows for private events in experience was unforgettable,” said Scott. “Getting to perform at the exchange for #SaveTheRio donations. Those looking to invest larger venue gave me the true scope of the historic value of the theater. Not sums into the Rio have been advised to contact Lea privately, and such only that, the staff were so wonderful to work with. It felt like a family.” donations have not yet been disclosed to the public.

“Watching the Rio grow with its shows has been fascinating,” said Tyler The fight to save the Rio has attracted the attention of big Hollywood James Nicol, whose various works include burlesque performances. names, such as Kevin Smith and Ryan Reynolds. Both have publically “The ‘green room’ (which is red, by the way) in the back went from advocated for the theatre to be saved and donated money to the storage space, to tiny but efficient dressing room, and now has a cause. renovated basement dungeon that I have seen personally filled with a few dozen half-naked glorious maniacs. It is the definition of an “‘I’m really excited to see celebrities using their voices to bring intimate performance space while still having the seating capacity to attention to the Rio Theatre,” said McCarthy. “I feel like they are draw in shows from all over. fighting for us. So many people make it big and stop giving a shit about where they’ve come from and it’s inspiring seeing the “The Rio will always have a big place in my heart. I had the hometown endorsements of Ryan Reynolds and Kevin Smith. I’ve for sure become premiere of both of my feature films there and have thrown more a bigger fan of their’s in the process.” events there than I can count at this point. There is no place remotely like it for indie film events; it is such an integral building for the people “I think it’s amazing!” said Scott. “Though I am not surprised to see in the indie community here. I’ve had a lot of experiences in my life highly-regarded people in the entertainment industry stepping but one of the best feelings in the world is going to an event you’ve forward to attract attention to this issue. Without venues like the Rio worked so hard on to organize and seeing the lineup for that event go Theatre, perhaps many of them wouldn’t be where they are today.” past the sushi restaurant. It’s heartwarming to see that many people are there to support and enjoy independent film.” “Nothing gets people moving faster than attention back from celebs. It’s a rallying call from a bigger grandstand than most of us can All this in mind, when I heard that the property was up for sale, manage,” said Nicol. my heart sunk, as did the hearts of the lovers of the iconic venue. On March 30, Smith is teaming up with the Rio for “An Evening with Kevin Smith In Vancouver.” There will be shows at 7:30 p.m. and 9 “I’ve been thinking about the worst-case scenario p.m., with tickets ranging from $40 to $200. All proceeds from the and it breaks my heart,” said McCarthy. “You could shows will go directly into the #SaveTheRio campaign. burn down every building in Vancouver but the Rio and I would be less sad than if they tore We won’t know until April whether or not the Rio will be purchased down the Rio. It’s been such a huge part by Lea and saved from developers. For now, all we can do is wait with of my career I would feel pretty lost.” hope that the Rio will be saved.

I thought back to other fallen “Just take notice of what makes the city beyond the buildings filling venues in the Vancouver the skyline,” said Nicol. “The heart of this city is a diverse group of arts scene. Seven Dining wonderful and complicated folks who need spaces to be creative. We Lounge, a Mount need ruling to keep public performance spaces in our lives.” life & style // no. 12 theotherpress.ca Photo by Analyn Cuarto Analyn by Photo Finding fashion ööWhat it means to develop a personal style

Brittney MacDonald believed that fashion simply wasn’t my in fashion—stuff that I would find in to is “what do you feel attractive and bag. My body is fairly disproportionate thrift stores, or randomly in independent comfortable in?” If you like the way you Life & Style Editor in terms of the torso to lower body shops. I liked the idea of not looking look, confidence can make any outfit ratio, and I have broad shoulders with like everyone else—a remnants of my work—I know that sounds cheesy, it don’t need to tell you that bodies a narrow waist. This made finding days as a little punk/goth high schooler. sounded just as cheesy in my head, but come in all shapes and sizes—that’s I clothes really difficult, so I kind of Through experimentation I learned it is true! Also, never listen to people obvious. That fact can also make it jsut gave up on it and relegated myself what I wanted my body to look like, and who tell you that you shouldn’t dismiss extremely difficult when you want to to hoodies and jeans. The difficulty what fabrics I enjoyed wearing. It was certain styles as things you “can’t be fashionable, but the current trends of dressing myself contributed to all about the personal for me, mostly wear.” They’re saying it to tell you that sway towards something that may an overall self-consciousness that because I am a baby, and everything you shouldn’t be so self-conscious, not be flattering on you or something prevented me from fully exploring I wear has to be comfortable. but it just comes off as dismissive. you wouldn’t feel comfortable in. the wonderful world of fashion. What came much later was the Wear what you want and what However, being fashionable and It wasn’t until I began designing ability to adapt current trends to suit you’re comfortable in—just don’t limit being on trend are two very different costumes for various events that I what I wanted to wear. Currently, yourself to hoodies and jeans or say things. It is always possible to be realized that dressing up and having though I appreciate fashion trends, I that fashion isn’t for you. Fashion is stylish, because style is user defined. pride in what I wore made me feel better generally don’t employ them unless for everyone, it’s just that some people So then the question becomes and more confident in general. I began they fit what I’ve come to realize is haven’t discovered their version of it yet! “what is a personal style and how do testing the waters with what I liked, my way of expressing myself to the you develop one?” For the longest time I though not things that were necessarily world at large. What it comes down Studying tips ööStraight from the mouth and minds of our students! Katie Czenczek Grewal also explained why getting started early was the best option, Staff Writer “Don’t cram! You won’t be able to ask professors questions about the things hether it was because you were you are unsure about if you do it at staring at the sunshine outside W the last minute. That is my strategy.” or at the guy flicking dandruff all over However, to all of those your binder, staying focused at school crammers out there, Mariia is tough, and you might need help Spatar had different advice. getting back into study mode. With “I don’t prepare; I just hope for exams coming in less than a month, the best. Usually I try to read, but it can seem daunting to get back into if I don’t have the time I just guess. the groove, especially when you have a You have to be able to make educated final worth 40 per cent of your grade. guesses from time to time.” In order to help you return from Seongbin Moon gave a happy your daze, I have compiled a list of study medium to bridge the two suggestions tips from your fellow Douglas College as he explained, “Well, normally students to help you out. Note: We at I only prepare for midterms and the Other Press do not guarantee that finals two weeks before.” these tips and tricks will get you that

When asked what kinds of Cuarto Analyn by Photo solid A+ you’ve been dreaming about, strategies he used to prepare for exams, so please use with caution, and don’t Moon said, “You can’t do too much for explain things to each other, to get gossiping and then it takes too long.” come crying to us if it backfires. Tears math and science courses aside from help with doubts about questions.” One other suggestion is to practice make everything socially awkward. practicing. So I use the study guideline Bola echoed this, giving a strategy active memory retention strategies. In an interview with the Other handouts, homework assignments, and for compiling notes together. Something as simple as chewing gum at Press, Douglas College student Gagan such. Sometimes I even do practice “We compare our notes with each home while you’re studying and again Grewal stated that you’re already behind exams profs post on Blackboard.” other’s, and then go onto the lecture while you’re taking your exam can be if you’re only starting to study now. As far as group study sessions notes. It helps us to not miss anything.” enough to help you retain information. “You need to start studying on go, Loudeen Grewal, Kiranjeet Nagi, I asked the girls if they ever get Well, there you have it, folks! the first day. Keep up with the quizzes and Simran Bola have you covered. distracted when working together, Some studying tips from your and readings and you’ll be fine when Nagi recommended studying with to which they laughed before Bola fellow classmates. Good luck with the exam comes around,” she said. other people because then “you can admitted, “Yeah, sometimes we start your finals and get to studying! issue 24 // vol 44 life & style // no. 13 Great inclinations ööThe essentials (and non-essentials) to casual weekend hiking

Jacey Gibb Any tightly-sealed water bottle will do here, but if you’re feelin’ real fancy, Distribution Manager you can splurge for a hydration pack or camel back (essentially a backpack reat inclinations is your go-to with a pouch for water and a tube source for diving into the world G running out of the back, for easy on- of casual hiking in and around the the-go drinking). Just know that most Lower Mainland, because hiking hydration packs cost upwards of $50, is not just for assholes anymore. and those are for the tiny starter ones. Some people think that in order to enjoy hiking, you need to spend Backpack hundreds of dollars on specific doodads In most hiking scenarios, your Hershel and gadgets, but hiking is actually backpack will suffice, so don’t worry. impossibly minimalist. Aside from the But if you have back problems or find initial investment of our first item, yourself planning for an overnight trip, everything else is likely something a proper hiking backpack will make you already have laying around the a world of difference. Clip-ons across apartment. My advice? Get out there the abdomen help distribute weight and give hiking a few tries before going from the pack, mesh-netting along hog-wild at Mountain Equipment Co- the back reduces pooling of delicious op. Try a few trails, venture out with back-sweat, and wider shoulder straps different hiking partners, and see means that they won’t dig into your what you think. If you decide hiking’s delicate human meat. Again, this is not for you, then no real loss; if you one of those items that can quickly add eventually find yourself heading out up on the budget, with most smaller for hikes every other weekend, then name-brand backpacks starting around it might be time to upgrade a few $80, but also worth investing in. things. Here are a few items you’ll need even for the most basic of trails. Bear bell They cost less than $5, which is a Hiking boots small price to pay to avoid run-ins This is undoubtedly the most with those lumbering forest giants. important investment. For years I Some people argue that loud talking hiked in everything from Converse to can be as effective, but on the off (shudder) flip-flops, and I struggled chance that you and your co-hikers to understand why my feet felt like run out of “Marry, Fuck, Kill” ideas, a they’d been shattered into a million bear bell can happily fill the silence. pieces. Hiking boots are light-weight, flexible, and give you tons of ankle Treat for afterwards support so you can avoid rolling your Okay, this is hardly an essential, but it’s ankle. Hit up MEC, shell out a couple a welcome addition—especially if you hundred on quality hiking boots, and challenge yourself with more difficult you’re basically good to go. Just make hikes down the line. After a grueling sure you get something that’s water- ascent and equally grueling descent, proof or water-resistant, since most imagine how blessed it would be to arrive Illustration by Cara Seccafien local hikes can get pretty soupy. back at the vehicle, crumple into the car A reliable go-to contact you’re going, who you’re with, and what seat, and have your favourite chocolate Water bottle Here’s one thing that doesn’t require time you expect to be finished. Even bar waiting for you. You haven’t tried Don’t act like you’re too cool to stay a trip to MEC, and it’s one of the if you’re bringing your phone on the an Oh Henry! until you’ve tried an Oh hydrated. Besides being a delicious, most important items on our list. hike, reception is notoriously scattered Henry! after hiking for three hours. thirst-quenching beverage, water is Unfortunately, things can go wrong at higher elevations, or the further you also quintessential for any sort of when you’re out exploring the mostly- go from civilization. If something does physical activity. Most sources online okay outdoors, so make sure your go wrong, make sure there’s someone recommend having at least one litre bases are covered. Before departing, who knows all the details and can of water for every two hours of hiking. make sure you text someone where contact search and rescue right away. When sh*t hits the fan ööHow to keep in control of your life

Megan Jewell and unfortunately can’t make it on time yes, you might be able to see a friend, How is being busy any different? You because everything is in the wrong but when school gets overwhelming can’t do everything at once. You can’t Contributor place. Save yourself the hassle and pure and you’ve been wearing the same always be there for your friends, go anxiety—pack your bag and set your outfit for three days, making plans with to every party, attend every family ttending school can be extremely clothes out the night before. Putting someone and letting them down again is get together, and consistently pick up overwhelming—with assignments, A everything aside for the next day gives seriously stressful. You bail, you feel bad, extra work shifts. It’s overwhelming tests, and maintaining your overall you a sense of satisfaction and also lets and your friend might be hurt or feel and exhausting. Just accept that some grade average, there’s days when you you sleep in a little in the morning. unimportant. The fact is that sometimes things are going to have to go ignored. experience such mental and emotional in life you simply have to put yourself burnout that there’s just no hiding it. Resist making demanding first. When you can’t remember what Write everything down Here’s some helpful suggestions for social plans day it is, I doubt you’ll want to remember Whether you highlight everything in when life is running you to the ground. Have you ever been at home or studying that you promised a friend a night of your planner or write everything down and someone texts you saying, “Are partying before your 9 a.m. class. as a note in your phone, just make sure Prepare the night before we still on for tonight?” You can’t bail you stay organized in some sense. I We all know what it’s like when you because you already have three times, Acceptance applaud those people who don’t ever wake up and your stuff is everywhere, but you also want to sit in the shower for Imagine someone carrying two litres of write anything down and still seem to with clothes, food, assignments, and 45 uninterrupted minutes? When your water in both hands. Add some books always be on top of their responsibilities. everything else you need to accomplish life is school and work, or sometimes just on their head. Add some extra weight on Write out your week, your work your goals for the day just scattered school, it’s very hard to be as attentive their shoes. Add a heavy belt. Eventually schedule, and a lists of errands you can to the wind. It’s even better when you as you were when you had more free you’d look at this person and be like do on your day off—but just make sure wake up late on a very important day, time. Yes, you might text people, and hey, you should let go of that weight. you make time for yourself as well. Have an idea for a story?  [email protected] OO White bunnies, fake beards, and harmful lies OO Stop complaining that the movie wasn’t as good as the book OO Millennials, let’s stop shitting on Gen Z Opinions And more! Comedy isn’t dead, and PC culture didn’t kill it ööMaybe it’s the comedy, and not the audience, that needs to improve

Katie Czenczek It highlights a more tolerant and aware society, where harmful stereotypes Staff Writer are no longer sources for acceptable forms of humour. Anyone remember olitical correctness has not that stand-up routine where Michael killed stand-up comedy. P Richards—better known as Kramer I might be stereotyping a little, but from Seinfeld—said the n-word about maybe there’s a reason that the majority 50 times? Even in the early 2000s that of people making these statements are wasn’t okay, well before modern “PC straight, old, white men and not those culture” was making headlines. belonging to marginalized groups. In fact, if people are looking for After all, it is Jerry Seinfeld, Mel Brooks, something to blame, then they can “Larry the Cable Guy,” Bill Maher, look no further than social media. and Chris Rock who have made these Twitter, Instagram, and Facebook statements publicly. Seinfeld and Rock have made it that much easier to drag went as far to say that they will no longer someone publicly, which can explain perform at colleges and universities why these comedians have noticed because they’re PC cesspools. more critiques of their content. Okay, they didn’t say cesspools, Yes, comedians need to be able to but they did mention that political flirt with the line between funny and correctness is the reason why. offensive, and it is okay to mess up every However, is it really PC once in a while. However, with social culture that’s causing their lack of media giving the everyday person a popularity with younger audiences, voice to call out things they didn’t like or are they just out of touch? about a show, comedians need to be Using “politically correct” college less offended by people calling their students as scapegoats for why a jokes offensive. Do I think that PC joke didn’t land is like asking a girl culture can go too far at times? Yes, I’ll

out on a date and then calling her Illustration by Cara Seccafien admit that there are times when people a whore for saying no—you can try use it as censorship for what a person and get rejected, but you can’t throw lives of the comics themselves. Acts but they’ve also all been done before. can and cannot say. However, as it is a tantrum about it afterwards if it such as Eddy Murphy during the ’80s Overall, being a comedian is a that person’s right to say something fails. It’s not the audiences’ fault that highlighted some of the experiences tough gig. It must be frustrating having offensive, it is also another person’s right they didn’t find an insulting joke of Black people living in America in multiple people criticize the material to respond back and say it’s not okay. funny. Rather, it’s on the comedians a funny—yet informative—way. No you’ve worked hard to create. However, Good comedy, in my opinion, for not knowing their audiences. comedian has ever broken new ground there is a difference between PC culture doesn’t come from a person in a position What was acceptable as a joke 50 by telling a Holocaust joke or any killing comedy and being washed up, of power demeaning a marginalized years ago is not going to be acceptable variation on the old trope, “a woman, gay so maybe it’s time for comics to check if group of people, it’s instead intelligent today, and I think that’s a good thing. man, and Asian guy walk into a bar…” what they’re saying is funny rather than and often provides a glimpse into the Not only are these jokes inappropriate, pointing fingers at younger generations. White bunnies, fake beards, and harmful lies ööParents should stop lying to kids about the Easter Bunny, Santa, and the Tooth Fairy Jessica Berget under the Christmas tree, I was crushed. in their parents, and lead them to I thought if she was lying about this, “abject disappointment” when they Opinions Editor what else could she be lying about? It finally discover that it’s not real. didn’t take me long to figure out that Some parents claim that telling o you remember how old you she was probably lying about the Easter children about the existence of these were when you realized that D Bunny and the Tooth Fairy as well, characters gives them a better sense of Santa, the Easter Bunny, and the which disappointed me even further. imagination. However, I would argue Tooth Fairy were not real, and that Of course, a little white lie never that passing on the tradition of telling your parents were liars? I do. hurt anyone; lying is justified in some your kids that all their gifts are from a

Easter is coming up at the end of Photo by April Martinez via Huffington Post cases, but to lie about something so fictional character who watches their the month, which means the annual insignificant as the existence of a every move is only going to limit their road on the Santa, Easter Bunny, Tooth tradition of parents lying to their kids magical being that you know is not imaginations more, and probably freak Fairy debate. Instead of telling them about the existence of a rabbit who real for so long, knowing your kids them out. You are telling them what to whether they’re real or not real, they ensures they’re on their best behaviour are eventually going to discover the believe, instead of them deciding for tell their kids that it’s just a story—or, all year and then rewards them by truth anyway, is outrageous to me. themselves what they want to believe. when they’re a little older—a metaphor. hiding chocolate in their house is upon I can’t help but think that lying to Kids are smarter than some people This allows them to still experience the us yet again. I remember these times your child about anything from a give them credit for. I think if you were fantasy-like wonder of the holidays and as a child well, but I also remember the young age will only forge distrust to ask where they think their gifts come the world without outright lying to them. disillusionment of finding out that none between a child and their parent. from or telling them that some people As fun as it is to believe in of the fantastical characters I believed In fact, in one study this has proven believe in Santa and the Tooth Fairy and these characters when you’re young, in so fiercely were real, which makes to be true. In an article published by whatnot, instead of passing on an old I don’t think risking your child’s me wonder, is it worth lying about? Lancet Psychiatry, psychologists Kathy story that has been told for generations trust is worth such a big, white lie. I was eight years old when I decided McKay and Chris Boyle suggest that as a fact, it would allow them to broaden There are other ways to experience to stay up late on Christmas Eve to find lying to kids, even about something their imagination and teach them to childhood whimsy without lying to out for myself if Santa was real or not. as fun as the Easter Bunny or Santa be more critical in their thinking. your kids about imaginary beings. When I saw my mom putting presents Claus, could undermine their trust Some parents have taken the higher issue 24 // vol 44 opinions // no. 15

Humans without humanities ööThe unseen importance of the liberal arts

Jason GokHo Ing drops in the number of humanities with an argument. These skills were The Bureau of Labor Statistics majors. After all, why would necessary to sort through software supports this claim, as it predicts 1.1 Contributor someone pay an arm and a leg for a engineering principles and simplify million employees will earn a living in degree that won’t get them a job? these concepts for the public. sales by 2022, compared to software he calling of the humanities is to Although the job market may Butterfield believes that while engineers who will experience only make us truly human in the best “T appear hopeless for art majors, recent learning to program is important, the three per cent overall job growth. sense of the word.” - J. Irwin Miller developments within technology and backbone of a successful tech company Although technical degrees such as We have all heard the social business have proven that a humanities relies on an individual’s ability to think computer sciences are often seen as stigmas surrounding majoring in the major may be worth its price after all. critically and understand human nature. superior compared to more artistic humanities. The field is synonymous Stewart Butterfield, the CEO These skills cannot be automated majors, the importance of a humanistic with low starting salaries and a high of Slack Technologies obtained his and are the focus of many humanities approach cannot be understated. unemployment rate post-graduation. bachelor’s degree in philosophy majors, such as English and History. While it is important for individuals With university fees increasing from the University of Victoria and a Butterfield’s way of thinking is far to understand the specifics of software over 40 per cent in the past decade master’s degree from Cambridge in from unusual. In fact, jobs that highlight development, understanding how , the thought of pursuing a costly philosophy. This multi-millionaire the ability to relate to consumer within humans think and operate is an degree that provides minimal financial believes that majoring in philosophy the tech industry are in much higher invaluable skill to possess. After all, security seems foolish to many. was beneficial because it helped him demand than occupations that focus any product within any industry was As a result, colleges across the to write clearly and follow through solely on technical knowledge. designed for humans by humans. country are now seeing significant

Stop complaining that the movie wasn’t as good as the book ööThey’re two different mediums and should be treated as such Jessica Berget adaptation. However, we must consider on, what the characters look like, the that the way we interpret a book as settings, and so on, while the other Opinions Editor we read them is never going to be the is a visual adaptation based on the same as the way other people interpret understanding of whoever created it. t happens with every book that it. We imagine events and characters Books also include meticulous gets turned into a movie. People I from a novel based on our personal details that may make sense to us as we

compare the two works word-for-word Photo illustration by Lauren Kelly experiences and our own biases, so the read them, but will not translate well and cry “not true to the novel” when way a book is understood is going to be onscreen for obvious reasons. Movies any scenes, characters, or lines aren’t every single scene from the book? different depending on the person. are fast-paced and must get to each included in the film adaptation. Many Books and films are two different When someone makes a movie important plot point in a timely manner people will claim that the movie is not mediums for storytelling, and they based on a book that doesn’t fit our to develop the story for the audience, as good as the book because of these shouldn’t be compared. Movies interpretation of the book, that so a lot of scenes and fluff are going to absences, but they’re two different show what’s happening on the doesn’t mean that it’s wrong, it’s just be cut as a result. If you made a movie forms of story-telling, so it should be outside, while books show what is different from our understanding—a that was totally and completely true obvious that they won’t be the same. happening on the inside. They are different perspective. to the book, it would be a seriously I’ll admit, it’s an easy thing to the same story told in different ways, Of course the movie is not going to long movie. It took me more than a complain about—even I have done it and they should be appreciated as be as good as the book. Books and films couple weeks to finish The Half-Blood with one too many Harry Potter movies. two different art forms as well. are two completely different mediums; Prince, so could you imagine how Our love and loyalty for the books often one forces you to imagine what is going long the movie would be if it included get in the way of appreciating the film

Millennials, let’s stop shitting on Gen Z ööMaybe think twice before retweeting those ‘edgy’ Tide Pod think pieces

Rebecca Peterson Man, that all sucked, didn’t it? minds, but I haven’t. I remember all the that darkness with positive action. I dumb shit we got up to. I was there for think of the American students who Assistant Editor Anyway, let’s talk about Gen Z. Who is Gen Z? Well, they’re the the planking, the owling, the cinnamon marched last week, many participating challenge, parkour. I was there for wizard’s despite real threats of suspension and illennials, we aren’t kids anymore. new kids on the block, so to speak—22 staffs and Edward 40-Hands (and if my academic punishment, to demand Literally, none of us are kids—the and under, the bulk of whom are M parents are reading this, I was only there youngest among us will turn 22 this year. passing through their teenager phase a better future for their country. for those things after I turned 19). We We are officially adults, even if we don’t right now. You might know them by My long and beleaguered point is never ate Tide Pods, but that doesn’t feel like it, and even if Baby Boomers their meme culture, their use of the this: Humans, as a species, are afraid of internet as part of their life essence mean we weren’t absolute fucking idiots. change. The fear is lodged somewhere seem to think we’re all still teenagers. (we grew up with the internet—they Teenagers are not a species made deep in our lizard brains. Older people Isn’t it annoying how older were born into it), and, of course, the to last… there’s just too many hormones have been complaining about younger generations have treated us? Remember infamous Tide Pod phenomenon: A and too few brain cells. Honestly, it’s people since the dawn of recorded how adults used to bemoan our texting, joke from an online community of a miracle that any of us made it into history, and we know that because social media, video games, and music neuro-atypical people about intrusive adulthood. It’s easy to look back and it was part of recorded history—yes, as portents of the end times? Didn’t it thoughts that spiraled out of control. laugh. However, if the goal is to improve believe it or not, they had edgy hot bother you how they would maintain Millennials said they wished that Tide on the wave of humanity that has gone that we all just want trophies for take Op-eds back in Ancient Rome. Pods were edible because they look before us, I’m not sure copying the showing up (even though, as it has I don’t know if it’s possible to break behaviour of the adults we hated as been pointed out, they were the ones edible. Gen Z said, “Challenge accepted.” the cycle entirely, but I do believe it’s giving us participation medals to begin In the months that followed, Gen Z teens is the right way to go about it. possible to do better. We should. We with)? How they ridiculed us for our received an avalanche of ridicule levied I tend not to think of Tide Pods have to. If we don’t, we will become immersion in technology (yet, who’s at them from all sides: Left and right, (too much) when I look at Gen Z. I see obsolete, and we will be held accountable helping Grandma with her Wi-Fi every old and not-so-old. “I weep for the next a generation of passionate teenagers for that by the ones who will follow Sunday)? As the Bard, William (Smith), generation,” scoffed many Millennials. dedicated to social justice, born after us. They’ve shown us that they into a world of disillusionment and have that power, and that gives me a once said: “Parents just don’t understand.” Well, my fellow Millennials, you may have blocked the memories from your post-9/11 nihilism and combating lot of hope for the next generation. reative riting C ExcerptW from “Ghost,” a short story created equal By J. Savage, Contributor By Brittney MacDonald, Life & Style Editor

i. in a perfect world all exits would be beautiful. Ghost switched the comm system to the internal channel, making sure only her fellow pilots would hear. It made the feed harder to tap into if they stayed off the main wave, the ii. clint shook someone else’s hand when he left. master control could switch their radios back anytime they had to issue direct orders. there is a hole shaped like all the things he’ll never “Burst pattern, search and destroy.” The order was direct and short. do. i wet my hands with soap. i put on red gloves to It told the others to move all around the station, to find the enemy and clean his knife one last time. all you need to separate take them out quickly. “Radio coordinates when you find them.” fat from flesh is a clean knife and clean-looking hands. “Understood,” Angel replied. The hanger doors opened slowly, dragging out every unbearable second. iii. there are a lot of things clint will never tell me and “Four and Seven, take the left. One with me on the a lot of things i’ll never get to yell at him for. there was right. Circle around, keep in radio contact.” so much anger it was like i could take a clam knife and shuck out his eyeball. now we hold our maybes like twin It was with that that the four ships left the hanger, each one flying off in a different empty shells and understand nothing. direction. Rabbit and Watcher veered off to the left and out of sight. Ghost immediately took the right, higher angle, knowing Angel preferred the lower sub levels. iv. the day he left was the day i ignored him. The Mercury Three was fluid, slicing through the sky like needled silver. Ghost scanned every nook and cranny, trying to also pay close mind to where the soldiers v. there are only two sizes of bone, old and new. flew in case they were quicker to pick up coordinates. But all they did was go after you don’t see the old bone so much because you the obvious. Attacking the battle ship rather than defending the station itself. She are living in them. they are the physical necessity took a deep breath, continuing her search and hoping the others were alright. we use to mourn: our shelter, our fire, the very “Mercury Four confirmed sighting. Calling team to concrete floor. you don’t even have to think about coordinates axis head nine, sector three.” loss when it has grown into everything around “Alright Watcher, I got you,” Ghost replied. “Do not engage till Mercury you. so permanent a part of us we forget it was Seven approaches. Everyone switch to light rounds, get them away from the even there to begin with. station before you bring out anything bigger. Mercury One position?” “Axis sub five, sector one oh one,” Angel replied almost instantaneously. vi. new bone snaps part at the knife. the spine is “I’m sector one fifteen, meet and follow me in,” Ghost ordered. just a zipper and we are undressing our dinner. “Confirmed.” new bone quivers with the pain of now. new bone “Mercury Seven status?” Her stomach was in her throat as breaks so easy. most people request them removed, she awaited the reply, each second that passed one more moment but: one day the pinbones we swallow outgrow our that Watcher risked being spotted without any back up. stomachs and do all the remembering and grieving we had no time for. “On approach already Ghost,” came Rabbit’s voice over the comm. She breathed a sigh of relief as she moved her ship out towards the v. the poem is a poor replacement for a goodbye. coordinates given. Out of the corner of her eye she saw the Mercury One move in to fly beside her. “Mercury Three and One on approach, arrival in two.” “Confirmed, engaging now.” Watcher’s voice was calm and collected, like he wasn’t The Old Trunk about to enter battle with an enemy that he had seen kill so many before. But such By Elizabeth Jacob, Production Assistant was his way. The teen was an expert at compartmentalizing. He’d be scared later. Ghost and Angel moved quickly, their team mates coming into view as they It was suffocating. No other word describes it more appropriately. Crammed in approached the opposite side of the ship that they had been searching. Without words, the backseat of an auto rickshaw with my grandfather’s leather trunk at my feet and my each knew what they were to do. Mercury One and Three split off from their parallel backpack protectively bundled in my arms, I felt vulnerable to the elements that I have path, coming around to flank the group of fighters that Watcher had discovered. landed within. I wrapped my shawl more tightly around my neck and picked up the straps Ghost’s arrival was seamless. The Mercury Three like a scalpel cutting through the of my canvas backpack to avoid the army of raindrops that had silently created a pool of folds of flesh. Her fingers tightened on the globes, the controls turning red as her ship water beside me which inevitably became my passenger along for the ride. I have never felt fired on the enemy fighters, trying to herd them away from the station walls. The so small, yet from landing in this country not a mere four hours ago it crept on me that combat was chaotic, Ghost saw flashes of her team mates, but focused her attention this place can do that to you. The make shift tarp that was attempting to cover the open more on avoiding enemy fire and not crashing. The comms were open. She heard windows was utterly useless as constant raindrops assaulted us from all sides while sprays from nearby lorries left us meandering through pothole riddled puddles on the street. every scream and curse the others uttered, but nothing sounded immediate. Ghost continued to fire on the enemy ships. Crying out when one managed to Glancing around the interior of the auto, I could see the leather tearing at the get a shot in over her right wing. The ship was linked to her mind, every dent and seams on the seats, the rust eating away at the metal handle bars and the pasted images graze she felt as her own. The pain called her back, made her fly more with instinct of gods and goddesses fading into the layers that were under them creating a divine rather than logic. The Mercury Three darted around erratically, moving with speed décollage. Looking out at the view that my champion driver, Rattan, was navigating and grace in a pattern no one could predict. It was the advantage of the Mercury through was surreal. Distorted speckled drops of red and water were splattered onto series. The pilot’s reflexes controlled everything; there was not response time because the windshield which the small wiper futilely cleaned away but was immediately there was no steering wheel. The ship simply went where the pilot willed it. bombarded with another wave of glistening red drops. We had been making good Ghost caught sight of a fighter on her tail. She corkscrewed and darted around the time so far, so the traffic jam ahead with its bejewelled ruby lights was a sight that others trying to rid herself of the determined ship, but it was to no avail. The enemy Rattan had anticipated and mentioned. Suddenly, my silent puddle of a passenger fighter sent out shots mid chase that Ghost was barely able to dodge. She screamed in spilled over the edge of the seat and slipped into oblivion into an already soaked floor frustration as she tried to circle around to catch the other’s back end. The enemy pilot as Rattan slammed on the breaks as we entered as a tile into this Tetris traffic puzzle. was fast, realising her intent and burning out his own engines on full blaze to avoid the nose of the Mercury Three. Ghost felt a stabbing pain shoot up her spine as he caught The torrential downpour was relentless however the air that it created was one over the back of her hull. Tears fell freely down her cheeks as she arched like a strung fascinatingly toxic as we were stranded as an island within a sea of never-ending islands. bow and tried to ignore the ache. She screamed again, this time in pain as he managed to If I could bottle up any smell and re-immerse myself in its fragrance it would be this hit the same spot once more. Lining it up perfectly with the intention of weakening her smell of warm wet earth, the smokiness of traffic pipes, and the undertone scents of craft’s integrity. Ghost turned the gauge of the painkillers up before letting the Mercury mouth-watering food savories from nearby vendor carts. This noise is another factor that Three fall into a nose dive. The ship followed just as she had expected. The B-pilot I would love to record but I veto the idea of reaching into my backpack for my camera waited, watching with careful eyes and hiccupping breaths before another ship made for fear of the rain against the lens but I feel it is more to the fact that I do not want to miss being in this moment. The rain continues to rap against the rickshaw and within its way into her path. She didn’t have time to see what it was, only if it was ally or not, these small confines the noise echoes loud and thunderous. Cars and rickshaws are which it definitely wasn’t. She turned the Mercury Three ever so slightly, grazing past continually honking as if performing a mediocre jingle while drivers swear and even the other ship in her streamlined craft in a way she was sure the other fighter couldn’t my dear Rattan has participated in this chorus of curses at some invisible power who is accomplish. Ghost pulled back, bringing the front of her ship up in a sudden climb just clearly to blame for putting us all in this uncompromising position. Sitting trapped and as the enemy crashed into the ship she had flew past full on. Ghost watched as both drenched, I breathe deep this fragrance of chaos. In all my years I have never felt more ships exploded and burst into silent flame. Pieces from each craft forced outward like awake and more alive. I look down my sodden shoes which are resting on the stenciled fireworks. The teen watched with a soft gasp, unable to make herself deny the beauty of it. ‘S’ and ‘R’ of my leather trunk. I wonder what he would think of me being here, in his “Wow,” she whispered eyes wide. She raised a hand to push back her visor, getting hometown. I recall the photo of the carved wooden doors with its vivid mosaic stained the full effect of the impact through the windowed roof of the Mercury Three. glass windows above the entrance and the metal name card that is imbedded on the right “Ghost?!” Angel’s worried cry cut through the younger pilot’s reverence. side of the door that mirror the same initials that my feet are currently resting upon. “I’m fine,” Ghost replied; all childhood wonder erased from her voice. “Status?” ~~~~ The comm channel switched suddenly, but no words came in over I bring my hand up to knock on the door and pause, realizing there is no turning the speaker. Only a bell to tell them to head back; It was over for now. back. I breathe in that welcoming perfume from the rickshaw and knock. I hear a shuffle from the inside and I wait. Wait to speak the words that have been uttered by pen and not by lips, locked away in a letter within that trunk whose words bleed truth of forgotten moments. I wait until the door finally opens and I gaze upon the person I have read so much about. Who would have thought I had her eyes? Have an idea for a story?  [email protected] OO Ottawa man suffers hypothermia after holding door open for several hours OO Entertainment page! OO Comics! Humour And more! Vancouver’s saltiest woman attacked by horses öö‘They were everywhere, I’m so bitter,’ says woman

Klara Woldenga leaving Ridder to solve the problem herself. However, despite her efforts, Humour Editor the horses refused to budge. “I tried so many ways to get them aley Ridder, local Vancouver to leave; I was swearing at them, trying resident, has lived in the Kitsilano H to shove them with my stupid salt for over 40 years. She has spent the broom, but their dumb faces just kept last 30 of those years running her on licking the dumb lamps,” said Ridder. successful salt lamp store, Sacred Salt. “I thought once they finished the lamps “I’ve been told over and over that I’m they would leave, but they just started just so salty,” said Ridder. “So I thought, licking me after all the lamps were gone.” ‘Why not surround myself with what Ridder tried talking shit behind I am?’ I’ve made quite a living selling their backs by ranting about horses my stupid salt lamps to stupid idiots.” on social media, but they refused to Ridder’s peaceful, salty existence take the hint to leave her alone. was interrupted last Wednesday “I even blocked all the horses on when, around 3 p.m., a large team of Facebook and Twitter, but that did horses—brown in colour and hungry in Photo illustration by Lauren Kelly nothing. They’re just too smart for me.” motive—flooded into her small store. Eventually, Ridder got a reply on said Stradtler. “I had just finished get them to exit the building by “Suddenly, they were everywhere!” her Facebook post; a friend suggested shooing a bunch of hungry horses telling them to “Get the hell of the said Ridder. “They shoved their way that she call a horse whisperer. away from a Kitsilano grocery store.” building.” The horses listened, pouring into my store through the windows and “My first thought was ‘Who is Upon arrival, Stradtler forced out of Ridder’s store and onto the through the front door. They even bust this stupid person, I don’t remember his way into the store and quickly unsuspecting Kitsilano streets, leaving in through my Employees Only door, having any dumb Facebook friends,’” got the large animals’ attention. the store saltless, but still standing. which didn’t make any sense to me said Ridder. “But then I thought “I yelled ‘Hey! Horses!’ and “Stupid goddamn horses,” said since I haven’t even hired any horses.” it was actually a good idea.” they listened,” said Stradtler. “They Ridder, “Now my windows are broken, The horses then began licking Ridder contacted Jackson always listen when you say that. and the salt lamps are gone until every salt lamp in the store, Stradtler, local horse guy, and within They know what they are.” my next shipment comes in. I guess absorbing their mineral content while 10 minutes he was on the scene. Stradtler then proceeded to use I’ll just go back to arguing on the simultaneously freaking everybody “Luckily, I was already in the area,” his highly-trained horse skills to internet until I get everything fixed.” out. Customers quickly fled the scene, An interview with the man who designed every college website ever ööThe beauty, grace, and practicality behind the online school experience

cancellation alerts from two years ago. Greg Waldock The stuff real students care about. Bitter Student G: What about course listings? had the opportunity to sit down Tuition fees? Clubs? Iand chat with Chuck Branksy, C: Oh right, those. I don’t know why founder of web development company anybody would care about that kind of Convolution Inc., and designer of every thing, but we had to add them. Course single college website on the entire listings are behind three drop-down planet. We arranged to meet in a quiet menus with vague names and organized New Westminster café to talk about by department. There is no convenient his life as one of the most successful search engine, and course summaries (and loathed) developers ever. are as brief and unclear as possible. Tuition fees really aren’t a priority. Greg: Hi, Chuck. Take us through People only pay those once a semester, your design philosophy—what so obviously we don’t need to clearly drives the website layouts? and openly show the many different Chuck: Hey, great question. I really expenses colleges tend to have. Clubs are wanted college websites to capture to never, ever be listed, anywhere, under the art and elegance of school into every single page of the website websites, I skin endangered any circumstances. We don’t want to and you’ve got yourself a winner. We animals for fur coats and sell bureaucracy. First, we looked at what accidentally start a school community. students want. After all, they are never go into actual detail, though, ecstasy to high schoolers. It’s so the people we’re building this for. like explaining the realistic class important to have hobbies. G: How else do you decide what sizes for each course, or what kind to put on a college website? of activities the campus has. It’s not At this point, Chuck began to smell G: What do students want the most? C: We like to use key phrases students C: Stock photos of people in white the website’s job to accurately display strongly of brimstone and sulfur, and enjoy reading over and over again. “Small relevant information—lazy students cackled deeply as he ripped open a shirts throwing a Frisbee on the quad. classrooms,” “one-on-one instruction,” Underneath that, we have a link to can hunt it down for themselves. portal to the black Hell from whence “active campus life,” and “orientation he came, leaving behind only the the alumni donation page, a picture of week volunteer opportunities” are the volleyball players mid-jump, and exam G: What do you do on your downtime? echoing screams of frustrated college best ones. Throw any number of them C: When I’m not designing college applicants and a $50 service fee. humour // no. 18 theotherpress.ca Ottawa man suffers hypothermia after holding open door for several hours öö‘I’m so sorry everyone,’ says man Klara Woldenga danced their way into the store as Marven continued to keep the door open. As Humour Editor time went on, he began experiencing the first signs of hypothermia: Extreme ar windshields, sidewalks, and little shivering and mental confusion. Cold ladies aren’t the only casualties “I knew something was wrong,” said of this never-ending Ontario winter. Marven. “Using my free hand, I looked Jamie Marven, Ottawa resident, was up the signs with my WebMD app, it was hospitalized last week with a severe case pretty neat! WebMD also told me that I of hypothermia after holding a grocery have cancer, which wasn’t quite as neat.” store door open for four continuous hours. Despite these newly-discovered Last Thursday afternoon, Marven facts, Marven continued to stand his headed to the Stop N’ Shop grocery ground and hold the door, as he believed store to pick up some milk—his stopping to go inside was rude. The entire second dairy run of the day. incident lasted over four hours, as many “I run out often because I use of the people heading inside refused to it a lot,” said Marven. “I use it for go in first, trying to allow either Marven cereal, as well as all things that are not or another person to go in before them. cereal… that’s basically everything, “Continuing to hold the door now that I think about it.” was just the right thing to do,” said Before entering the store, Marven Marven. “Keeping it open is what John noticed a woman behind him also A. Macdonald would have wanted. Illustration by Cara Seccafien heading towards the entrance. Instead He didn’t come all the way from was then that Janice Franklin, the holding the door, the paramedics were of going inside, he held it open and let Scotland and invent Canada just so store owner, called an ambulance. able to take Marven to the hospital. her go in first. Unfortunately, the woman I could close a door and be rude.” “I knew right away something After spending a week in the was followed by her two children, 12 By the time everyone had entered was wrong,” said Franklin. “The hospital, Marven has successfully teenagers, a man and his 16 dogs, the the building, Marven was experiencing second I realized no one was politely recovered and returned home. local high school football team, and the more severe signs of hypothermia holding my door open I called 911.” “I’m sorry for the trouble I entire high school clown team (which such as slurred speech and shallow The ambulance came quickly, but caused,” said Marven, “But I can’t arrived in a single car). According to the breathing. Soon after, he fell to the the paramedics became delayed as they say that it won’t happen again. reports, the Ottawa Conga Group also ground and passed out due to an were confronted with the unexpected Doors don’t keep themselves open, arrived for their monthly shopping event. extremely low core body temperature, task of holding the door open as everyone except for those automatic doors— Over a hundred conga members allowing the door to finally close. It exited the building. After four hours of and I don’t understand those.” Man recovers after Twitch account unwittingly streams his internet activity for hours ööIt’s cool, I’m totally not hurt by it or anything,’ says Twitch user when he walked away from the computer, Jillian McMullen you could see everything. His bedroom is Staff Writer covered in them. Small ones, big ones— he even had a few in display cases.” imothy Wallace, Delta resident Last weeks solutions Table 1 Another user, named and self-described graphic T-shirt T -Scarcasmo-, claims the highlight G H I J T A B L E A M I enthusiast, is recovering in the hospital of the stream came when Wallace after discovering that his Twitch was getting ready to go out. A I D A H A V A I L T E N account had been streaming for a total “He was belting to some Whitney. of 15 hours without his knowledge. His S T E M S K I N D M O M S Like, hairbrush-microphone in hand, injuries included torn ligaments in running around his room in his his leg from a swift laptop-slamming S E T E L F E P E E tightie-whiteys, performing to the leap, hand lacerations from the teddy bear audience he had lined S A S S A F R A S N C proceeding trip over computer wires, up,” he said. “He really does have a and, most significantly, deep social W A S I N T O S U M S T R beautiful voice though. I’ve never contusions to his fragile, fragile ego. heard a man hit high notes like that.” The event occurred about three A N T I G O N E T I P T O E It was after the last triumphant days ago, after Wallace livestreamed note of “I Will Always Love You” that N O R E L E V E C H E S T an extended Overwatch session. After Wallace realized what was happening. As six hours of gameplay, Wallace was E N E N O E C L A I R a steady stream of comments flooded the exhausted and a little disoriented. His man’s laptop, the ensuing notifications eyes had been severely strained after N W T R O B B tipped him off to the audience that staring at a screen so many hours that he wasn’t lined up on the edge of his bed. P A G O A L G S L I C E S could not see that his laptop’s recording The Other Press received analytics button was never turned off. Followers A L T O C A R E E N O L A from Twitch showing that the broadcast watched as the man went about his was Wallace’s most watched stream day, not realizing his actions were S P H I N C T E R A R I D since joining the service. In fact, the still being broadcast to the internet. man’s audience grew almost three- T H E N E T H E R L A N D S One such follower, identified online fold overnight. When presented as by the username Fancy-Cat*~*~**~*, A N G S E N S A T E O y with the data, Wallace said he was describes the stream as “surprising.” uncomfortable with the increased “Wallace usually acts pretty tough in audience and planned to take a few his livestreams—you know, lots of agro weeks away from the internet. yelling and trash talk—so I was shocked “Things like this blow over, by the dude’s stuffed animal collection,” I think. I mean, nothing lasts she said. “Normally, the background forever online, right?” is hard to see because it’s blocked, but ntertainment 1 2 3 4E5 6 7 8 9 10 11 DOWN SUDOKU 1. Sphere 12 13 14 15 2. __ vera No. 378 Very Hard Previous solution - Tough 3. Theatre Department production 172986345 16 17 18 19 running from March 16 to 23: 1st 58495723861 word 836541279 20 21 22 23 4. Motto 359164782 5. 2nd word of 3-down 247 24 25 6. Neither's partners 264879153 7. Pet stylist 194718352496 26 27 28 29 30 31 8. Sablefish (2 wds.) 621497538 9. Unforgiving and unstoppable 3 1 7 987235614 32 33 34 35 36 10. Beginning 543618927 11. Silt deposit 37 38 39 14. Get in the way of 615 To complete Sudoku, fill the board 18. That woman by entering numbers 1 to 9 such 40 41 42 43 44 21. Above (2 wds.) 18 2 that each row, column and 3x3 box 23. Option-giving conjunction contains every number uniquely. 45 46 47 26. Omelette ingredients 27. __-_-Lago, Trump's resort 391 For many strategies, hints and tips, 48 49 50 28. TransLink's 95, 96, and 99 visit www.sudokuwiki.org 29. 3rd word of 3-down 53 9 51 52 53 54 55 56 57 30. 29-down en français (fem.) If you like Sudoku you’ll really like 34. Limp 26 ‘Str8ts’ and our other puzzles, Apps 58 SUDOKU59 60 61 35. Convene © 2018 Syndicated Puzzles and books. Visit www.str8ts.com 36. Old video game console (abbr.) The solutions will be published here in the next issue. 62 63 64 65 38. Street surface 39. Above, as a poetic contraction Previous solution - Tough 66 No. 378 6 67 68 41. I, IIVery Hard 42. 4th word of 3-down 43. Atomic No. 53 172986345 ACROSS 33. Chicago's airport 59. Stuns 46. Swedish furniture giant 1. Soothing salve 34. Froths 61. Classy 47. Tore 5. Common verb suffix 37. Old name for influenza 62. Usual prayer ending 58495723861 49. College-level high school classes 8. Companion of phys. and 39. Pseudonym of Obi-Wan 63. First name of first program chem. Kenobi in Episode IV Chancellor of Germany, 1871 51. Defrost 836541279 12. And others: Et __ 40. Largest city in Yemen 65. SkyTrain line 52. City where all roads lead 13. Edible seaweed 24(var. sp.) 66. Where BC is relative to 7 53. Alphabetic sequence 359164782 15. Alphabetic sequence 41. Prefix meaning "bone" Alberta 55. Apparel/swimwear brand, 16. $1 coin's creature 44. Late martial arts master 67. Dine division of Quiksilver 264879153 17. Descendents of floppy Bruce 68. Unit of force 56. Major US sports channel disks: CD-__ 45. Unit equal to 1.6x10-19 J 57. Sneaker or loafer 718352496 19. Church recess 46. Understands the 194 64. This newspaper (acr.) 20. Slow, in musical notation meaning of 22. Ancient Greek playwright 48. Laboratory glassware 621497538 24. Medical professional 50. 3.14159 (acr.) 51. Certain brass instrument 987235614 25. Small carnivores from musician 3 1 7 South Africa 54. Town in Belgium, site of 543618927 26. In the midst of conflict major battle in WWI 31. Equiv. of mL 58. Tube for watering, often 32. Gadot of Wonder Woman in gardening 615 To complete Sudoku, fill the board by entering numbers 1 to 9 such 18 2 that each row, column and 3x3 box contains every number uniquely.

391 For many strategies, hints and tips, 53 9 visit www.sudokuwiki.org If you like Sudoku you’ll really like 26 ‘Str8ts’ and our other puzzles, Apps

© 2018 Syndicated Puzzles and books. Visit www.str8ts.com The solutions will be published here in the next issue. Comic by Ed Appleby Comic by B Brophy Comic by Ed Appleby Comic by Neuclear Jackal Comic by Max Foss