Futurama Script
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FUTURAMA "BENDER'S RECALL & THE PROFESSOR'S BOOTY CALL" INT. PLANET EXPRESS - CONFERENCE ROOM FRY, LEELA, BENDER, ZOIDBERG, and AMY are sitting at the round table. PROFESSOR FARNSWORTH enters. PROFESSOR Good news everyone. Hermes has bad news! HERMES enters behind The Professor. The Professor and Hermes sit at the table. FRY Why is that good news? PROFESSOR Because I don’t have to give it. I know what you all say about me behind my back. CUT TO: CLOSE UP on Zoidberg’s claws under the table chopping the head off of a “Farnsworth” doll. CUT TO NORMAL. HERMES Thank you Professor. I just received a letter from the MOM Corporation recalling all Bender units due to faulty wiring. Everyone gasps and feels bad for Bender. BENDER Woo Hoo!! Now I can be greater and more perfect than I already am! FUTURAMA "BENDER'S RECALL & THE PROFESSOR'S BOOTY CALL" LEELA (To Bender.) I get why you’re happy about this, but, why are you happy Hermes? HERMES It’s a Tax Write-off, and the insurance covers it! But wait! It gets even better! We all get to tour the MOM factory. FRY All right! I hope we get to see Slurms MacKinsey again! LEELA Fry, that was at the Slurm factory. We’re going to the MOM factory. FRY (Not understanding.) Uh huh. LEELA You are aware that they are two different factories right? FRY (Not understanding.) Uh huh. LEELA The Slurm factory is where they make Slurm. The MOM factory is where they make robots. FUTURAMA "BENDER'S RECALL & THE PROFESSOR'S BOOTY CALL" FRY (Not understanding.) Uh huh. LEELA Oh shut up. BENDER Yeah Fry, shut up! LEELA Thank you Bender. BENDER Shut up Leela! You’re all still over looking the most important thing. (Short pause.) Now I can be GREATER and MORE PERFECT then I already am. EXT. MOM CORPORATION. Hundreds of bender units are entering the building. The PLANET EXPRESS SHIP is seen parked in the parking lot. The Professor, Leela, Fry, Bender, Hermes, Amy, and Dr. Zoidberg are seen exiting the planet express ship. INT. MOM CORPORATION - LOBBY The group is met by a tour guide, BUFFY. BUFFY Hello, and welcome to the MOM Corporation. First I would like to announce that all Bender Units should report to the sign-in booth in room 726. (MORE) FUTURAMA "BENDER'S RECALL & THE PROFESSOR'S BOOTY CALL" BUFFY (CONT'D) Several Bender Units start heading down a long hallway. BENDER So long Chumps! Bender turns around and accidentally bumps into another Bender Unit. BENDER (CONT’D) Hey, watch where you’re going ugly. The Bender Unit turns around revealing himself as FLEXO. FLEXO Hey Bender! BENDER Hey Flexo! Bender and Flexo playfully punch each other’s Chest Cavity. Bender turns back to the group. BENDER (CONT’D) So long Chumps! Flexo looks at the group. FLEXO Hey Professor! Hey everyone! Long time no see. PLANET EXPRESS GROUP Hey Flexo. Fry gives Flexo an evil look. Flexo notices. FLEXO Ooo, Fry. Looks like someone beat you with an ugly stick. No, I’m kiddin’, you’re a handsome man. FUTURAMA "BENDER'S RECALL & THE PROFESSOR'S BOOTY CALL" BENDER Come on Flexo, let’s go check in. Bender and Flexo continue down the hall. BUFFY All-righty everybody let’s start our tour by heading down to the “Break- down” room. INT. BREAK-DOWN ROOM Buffy leads the planet express crew into the Break-down room. The break-down room has a large pile of old and broken SUICIDE BOOTHS. BUFFY This is where we get the materials to build our Bender Units. Three Robots walk over to a Suicide Booth and carry it over to a large machine which resembles a meat grinder. The Robots put the Suicide Booth on a conveyor belt which takes the Booth to the top, dropping it inside. After a very loud crunch/grinding sound, small chunks of metal are deposited onto another conveyor belt which goes through the wall into the next room. BUFFY (CONT’D) We use the scraps from old, broken, and unused Suicide Booths and discarded beer cans to make our Bender Units. All of our Bender Units are 100% recycled metal. Now we’ll continue on our tour to the Shaping Room. Buffy and the Planet Express crew head to a door following the scraps of metal. Leela is reading a “MOM Corporation” pamphlet. FUTURAMA "BENDER'S RECALL & THE PROFESSOR'S BOOTY CALL" LEELA It says here that one normal Suicide Booth can be broken down to build over one half of a Bender Unit. ZOIDBERG Interesting. INT. MOM’S OFFICE MOM, WALT, LARRY, and IGNAR are watching the planet express crew on their tour through a security monitor. MOM (To the security monitor.) Hueby? Is it really you? WALT Is there something the matter Mom? LARRY Yeah, Mom, is there something wrong? IGNAR Huh? MOM swings to slap the 3; she hits Larry and Ignar but Walt, wittingly, ducks. LARRY & IGNAR Oww! MOM Walt? You finally ducked. After all these years. You finally made me miss. Come here. MOM holds out her arms to hug Walt. Walt steps closer. MOM quickly slaps him in the face then kicks him in the shin. Walt screams in pain and falls to the floor. FUTURAMA "BENDER'S RECALL & THE PROFESSOR'S BOOTY CALL" MOM (CONT’D) (To Walt.) Don’t you ever make me look like a fool you Crap Idiot! WALT Yes Mom, sorry Mom. MOM slaps Larry and Ignar again. LARRY Ouch!! IGNAR Owweeyy! MOM That’s incase you ever get the thought to duck and make me look like a Crap Idiot, you Stink-Blasters! (Looking back at the monitor.) Now where was I? Oh yes. Is it really you Hueby? WALT!! WALT Yes Mother? MOM I want Professor Farnsworth brought to me immediately. CAMERA PUSHES IN TO CLOSE UP ON MOM. MOM (CONT’D) We have unfinished business. FUTURAMA "BENDER'S RECALL & THE PROFESSOR'S BOOTY CALL" INT. BENDER SIGN-IN ROOM BENDER, FLEXO, and about a hundred other Bender units are waiting in line. Bender and Flexo are next in line. Bender steps up to the CLERK who is sitting behind a computer. CLERK Name and number. BENDER Bender Bending Rodriguez. 2716057 The clerk types into the computer then prints out a barcode sticker. CLERK (Handing the sticker to Bender.) Put the sticker on your forehead and go to room 37A. NEXT! Bender steps to the side. Flexo steps up to the table. CLERK (CONT’D) Name and number. FLEXO Flexo Flexing Gutierrez. 3370318. The clerk types into the computer then prints out a barcode sticker. CLERK (Handing the sticker to Flexo.) Put the sticker on your forehead and go to room 37B. NEXT!. Flexo seems slightly depressed and goes over to Bender, who has the sticker on his forehead crooked. BENDER Hey Flexo. Is my Barcode on straight? FUTURAMA "BENDER'S RECALL & THE PROFESSOR'S BOOTY CALL" FLEXO Uhh. No. Bender gives someone behind him an evil eye. BENDER I guess next time I force someone to do something for me I shouldn’t break both their arms first. FLEXO Listen Bender I kind of got bad news. BENDER We’re getting magnets installed? FLEXO No. BENDER Fry isn’t really from the past, but is actually from the future and is sent back to destroy all machines before we start thinking for ourselves and start killing all humans? FLEXO Um. No. BENDER Good. Then I still have time. FLEXO Listen. Bender, I have to report to room 37B. BENDER 37B?! But I’m going to 37A. FUTURAMA "BENDER'S RECALL & THE PROFESSOR'S BOOTY CALL" Bender and Flexo’s eyes start to water. FLEXO Hey, we can still hang out after this. BENDER Yeah, totally. Bender and Flexo start walking down a hallway in the same direction, then stop at room 37A. BENDER (CONT’D) Well, I guess this is me. FLEXO I guess so. Bender turns and opens the door. FLEXO (CONT’D) Bender. Take care of yourself. BENDER Only if you take care of yourself. Bender enters the room and closes the door. Flexo continues down the hallway then enters the room right next door to Bender’s room. Flexo looks back at Bender’s door then enters 37B. INT. LARGE CAFETERIA WIDE CAMERA ANGLE: BUFFY is leading the PLANET EXPRESS CREW along with a few other people. The Professor is lagging and is at the back of the group. BUFFY And this is our Cafeteria where all the employees get to eat their lunch. But since all the employees here are robots only MOM and her sons get to eat in here. FUTURAMA "BENDER'S RECALL & THE PROFESSOR'S BOOTY CALL" LEELA What about you? Where do you eat? The group starts heading though another doorway. BUFFY Please hold your questions until the end of the tour. Now if you’ll all follow me I’ll show you where we use unwanted human remains to further our Newly Formed Android department. Everyone enters the door, just before the Professor can walk though the door 3 masked men, obviously WALT, LARRY, and IGNAR, drop from the ceiling and drop a large burlap sack over the Professor then run off carrying him over their heads. INT. FLOWER ROOM The tour group exits the Android department and enter the flower room. AMY Wow, seeing all that makes me wish I only had one eye. Wouldn’t that be cool? FRY Totally! HERMES You better believe it. ZOIDBERG If I only had one eye… The things I would do… LEELA Umm… Hello?! FUTURAMA "BENDER'S RECALL & THE PROFESSOR'S BOOTY CALL" AMY Huh? Oh, Not like yours Leela.