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'It's All Just a Game, You Know, a Stupid Power Game': Memoir As a Practice

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'It's All Just a Game, You Know, a Stupid Power Game': Memoir As a Practice University of Wollongong Research Online University of Wollongong Thesis Collection 1954-2016 University of Wollongong Thesis Collections 2015 ‘It’s all just a game, you know, a stupid power game’: Memoir as a practice in self-surveillance Angela J. Williams University of Wollongong Follow this and additional works at: https://ro.uow.edu.au/theses University of Wollongong Copyright Warning You may print or download ONE copy of this document for the purpose of your own research or study. The University does not authorise you to copy, communicate or otherwise make available electronically to any other person any copyright material contained on this site. You are reminded of the following: This work is copyright. Apart from any use permitted under the Copyright Act 1968, no part of this work may be reproduced by any process, nor may any other exclusive right be exercised, without the permission of the author. Copyright owners are entitled to take legal action against persons who infringe their copyright. A reproduction of material that is protected by copyright may be a copyright infringement. A court may impose penalties and award damages in relation to offences and infringements relating to copyright material. Higher penalties may apply, and higher damages may be awarded, for offences and infringements involving the conversion of material into digital or electronic form. Unless otherwise indicated, the views expressed in this thesis are those of the author and do not necessarily represent the views of the University of Wollongong. Recommended Citation Williams, Angela J., ‘It’s all just a game, you know, a stupid power game’: Memoir as a practice in self- surveillance, Doctor of Philosophy thesis, School of the Arts, English and Media, University of Wollongong, 2015. https://ro.uow.edu.au/theses/4749 Research Online is the open access institutional repository for the University of Wollongong. For further information contact the UOW Library: [email protected] ‘It’s all just a game, you know, a stupid power game’: Memoir as a practice in self-surveillance A thesis submitted in (partial) fulfilment of the requirements for the award of the degree Doctor of Philosophy from UNIVERSITY OF WOLLONGONG by Angela J. Williams, Bachelor of Creative Arts & Bachelor of Communications and Media CI Hons. SCHOOL OF THE ARTS, ENGLISH AND MEDIA 2015 Certification I, Angela J. Williams, declare that this thesis, submitted in partial fulfilment of the requirements for the award of Doctor of Philosophy, in the School of the Arts, English and Media, University of Wollongong, is wholly my own work unless otherwise referenced or acknowledged. The document has not been submitted for qualifications at any other academic institution. Angela J Williams 30 November 2015 Part One: Page i of 323 Table of Contents Certification i Table of Contents ii List of Abbreviations iii Abstracts iv Acknowledgments vi Part One: Thesis Introduction 1 Chapter 1: Research Background: Understanding memoir as self-surveillance 5 Chapter 2: Methodology: Examining memoir as self-surveillance 28 Chapter 3: Creative Contexts: Three case studies 46 Kate Holden, In My Skin (2005) 48 Ahn Do, The Happiest Refugee (2010) 60 David Hicks, Guantanamo: My Journey (2010) 75 Chapter 4: Exegesis: Snakes and Ladders: A memoir (2015) 92 Conclusion 115 Bibliography 118 Part Two: Creative Work Creative Work: Snakes and Ladders: A memoir 123 Part One: Page ii of 323 List of Abbreviations 9/11 Terror attacks on New York on 11 September 2001 ABC Australian Broadcast Corporation AKA Also Known As CCTV Closed Circuit Television CCG Community Compliance Group CS Corrective Services CSI Corrective Services Industries (inmate employment scheme) ICRC International Committee of Red Cross KLA Kosovo Liberation Army KY Kathleen York House Rehab LeT Lashkar-e-Taiba (Army of the Righteous) MIN NSW Prisoner Administration Number NA Narcotics Anonymous NATO North Atlantic Treaty Organization RIP Rest in Peace US United States of America VLU Video Link Up (between courts and prisons) Part One: Page iii of 323 Abstracts Thesis abstract This research examines the process of writing a memoir as an example of self- surveillance, combining a thesis and creative component. The thesis explores how the process of writing a memoir can be understood by examining the analogous practice of surveillance. Supported by a research background that ranges across critical, literary and cultural theory, the Methodology gives a dichotomous ‘problems and solutions’ framework for using textual and discursive analysis to unpack the functioning of narrative identity within three contemporary Australian case studies: Guantanamo: My Journey by David Hicks (2010), In My Skin by Kate Holden (2005), and The Happiest Refugee by Anh Do (2010). To discover if memoir can be seen to function similarly to surveillance, the surveillant functions, classification and risk mitigation, are examined to uncover the ‘problems’ in the case studies. These functions are discovered through the memoirist’s shift into the ‘narrator’ role and the self-protective aspects that come into play as they position themselves as ‘subject’. Expanding on this understanding, the thesis then asks if writing a memoir provides similar results to surveillance, or how the case studies demonstrate ‘solutions’. It does this by exploring the outcomes of discipline, shown by the shifting ‘narrative identity’ of the narrator/subject, and resistance, to be discovered through their positioning to discursive forces and their ability or inability to challenge and intersect with these. The final chapter of the thesis takes an exegetical stance to the creative work Snakes and Ladders: A memoir, applying the same ‘problems and solutions’ framework to understanding and strengthening my own creative practice. Creative abstract: Snakes and Ladders: A memoir I used to be a heroin addict, criminal and all round not•nice•girl. In 1996 I got out of prison for a drug-fuelled crime and promised myself I’d never go back. In 2010 I broke that promise after going to the police as a victim and finding out I hadn’t followed up paperwork from the first time. Snakes and Ladders looks at prison in NSW from both the inside and the outside, showing what it’s like to get caught up in the system again after thirteen years of fighting to escape from cyclic disadvantage. My book breaks out of the walls of the prisons and explores the paths that led to my original crime, including an abusive childhood, struggles with addiction Part One: Page iv of 323 and unhealthy forms of sex work. This compelling story of accountability, tragedy and redemption shows the reality of contemporary women’s prisons, and in some ways can be imagined as a step-by-step instruction guide for how to break out of dangerous cycles of addiction and criminality. In 2003, after getting clean off drugs, I left that world of crime and addiction behind and went to university. Seven years, two degrees and a lifetime later, I forgot to look right as I crossed a road and was hit by a Postie on her motorbike. When the police came to take my statement they arrested me for an outstanding warrant for time I hadn’t served back in the ’90s. I’d just finished a First Class Honours degree at the University of Wollongong. Snakes and Ladders tells the story of the six weeks I spent in prison and the following ten months on home detention. In the process of telling this story, I weave vignettes and memories from my early life that reveal the relationships and complications that led to the original crime. But I also explore the people and situations that allowed me to break free from a life that was going nowhere. Snakes and Ladders blurs the line between creative non-fiction and critical writing, applying an academic understanding of power and discourse to the social structures that most actively embody these concepts. It takes you inside four different prisons, the maximum security Mulawa Women’s Correctional Centre in Sydney, the two medium security prisons at Berrima and Emu Plains, and the collaborative panopticon that Corrective Services and I built in home detention. ‘It’s all a game, you know, a stupid power game which only works ’cause we play along,’ I write in Chapter 2. This book is about how I worked out the rules of the game and found a way to follow them. Part One: Page v of 323 Acknowledgments To the Australian Postgraduate Award for funding this research. Thesis To Kathy (not her real name) for listening to me rant about the Panopticon in the ‘safe cells’ at Mulawa Women’s Correctional Centre, and helping to set off the spark of this project. To the Creative Arts Faculty (now the School of English, Arts and the Media) at the University of Wollongong for taking a chance on me when I hadn’t even finished high school, and in particular Associate Professor Alan Wearne, who told me at my initial interview that my history would help, giving me something to write about. To my first year CACS (Critical Theory and Creative Practice) students from 2011-5 for helping me get the basics of critical theory solidly engrained and to Dr Joshua Lobb for having me sit in on so many of his literary theory classes and sending me away with my brain racing with ideas. To my Honours supervisor, Dr Nicola Evans, for helping me first find my feet in research, and Dr Kate Bowles who talked through that theory from so many different angles. To Dr Ruth Walker who led me through the first steps of writing such a massive research project. To Dr Sally Evans for listening to me rant until it started to make sense and Dr Pip Newling for helping me nut out the abstract for my creative work.
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