THE PRIMARY SOURCE The Journal of Conservative Thought at SM Volume XVI Number 1 VERITAS SINE DOLO August 27, 1997 Tufts 2001 A Jumbo Odyssey

INSIDE: A HISTORY OF P.C. ON THE HILL COLLEGE AND YOUR WALLET BLACK AND WHITE AT TUFTS CAMPUS WHO’S WHO DIVERSITY-MAN: THE LEFT’S NEWEST SUPER-HERO YOUR REAL ORIENTATION TUFTS 2001 Don’t Just Join the Crowd

THE SOURCE

Join THE PRIMARY SOURCE RECRUITMENT MEETING: Tuesday, September 9, 8:45PM Zamparelli Room (112 Campus Center), or call Keith at 391-2466 Please feel welcome to visit our production office in Curtis Hall the weekend of September 6 Parents: What’s 30 bucks after 30 grand? Everything You Always Wanted to Know About * *But*But EveryoneEveryone ElseElse WasWas AfraidAfraid toto TellTell YouYouSMTufts Celebrating 15 years Get the finest (not to mention most forthright and telling) account of affairs at Tufts and elsewhere delivered to your doorstep. For a tax-deductible contribution of $30 or more you can receive a full academic year’s subscription (13 issues) via first class delivery.

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2 THE PRIMARY SOURCE, AUGUST 27, 1997 THE PRIMARY SOURCE The Journal of Conservative Thought at Tufts UniversitySM Vol. XVI No. 1 August 27, 1997

D E P A R T M E N T S From the Editor 4 Why we’re here. Letters to the Editor 5 Correspondence from a SOURCE favorite. Commentary 6 What two Tufts profs have in common with We’re Talking Vulva. Fortnight in Review 8 A PC speech guide, a felon with a pleasant manner, and “Labor’s Back!” Notable and Quotable 24

page 12 A R T I C L E S Cajones, Por Favor 10 by Jeff Bettencourt Jesse Helms or Bill Weld? There’s only room enough for one in this country. The Leaning Tower of PC 15 by Jessica Schupak Political correct, academic neglect— learning in a multi-culty land. A Vision Beyond Your Wallet 17 by Micaela Dawson How will students benefit from Tufts’s long-overdue wasteful-spending cuts? Green Capitalism— Fantasy or Reality? 19 by Ananda Gupta THE SOURCE’s resident libertarian finds strange bedfellows in the Sierra Club. Straight Talk on Race 21 page 15 by Colin Kingsbury Tufts has a race-relations problem? And beware of that falling sky.

SPECIAL SECTION Who’s Who and What’s What at Tufts University 11 Bumbling around aimlessly through Orientation? We’ve conveniently crammed everything you need to know about Tufts onto one page. The Wild and Correct Adventures of Diversity-Man 12 Swinging from the basement of Eaton with a firm resolve to vanquish dissent and free thought, The left’s latest and greatest super-hero! Re-Orientation 1997 14 Trust us: college is only like summer camp for the first couple of days. Here’s the schedule right from the President’s wastebasket. page 21

THE PRIMARY SOURCE, AUGUST 27, 1997 3 THE PRIMARY SOURCE FROM THE EDITOR THE JOURNAL OF CONSERVATIVE THOUGHT AT TUFTS UNIVERSITY

on’t expect to hear too many chal- American Center Director Linell Keith Levenberg Dlenging questions tossed at panel- Yugawa and African-American Center Editor-in-Chief ists on “Many Stories, One Commu- Director Todd McFadden were fabu- nity.” And don’t think any attendees of lous caricatures of leftist-academic “Why ‘No’ Means ‘No’: Respecting gobbledygook. Ms. Yugawa kind- CAMPUS ISSUES Choices” will tell Womyn’s Collective heartedly reassured the student that it Colin Kingsbury / Editor Director Peggy Barrett that they are was okay to be white while graciously quite capable of understanding snappy offering a pamphlet on “the formation NATIONAL AND INTERNATIONAL ISSUES answers to stupid questions without the of white racial identity.” Audience mem- Micaela Dawson / Editor help of the PC Sex Police, thank you bers looked on in befuddlement. Some very much. In fact, expect to see the other challenging questions were majority of freshmen observing the asked— most of some substance, none ARTS AND GRAPHICS administration’s unwritten Orientation particularly probing— until the panel- Ian Popick / Editor rules: “Sit down. Shut up. And don’t ists seemed to declare a minor victory think.” and conclude the ordeal. Yet even these PRODUCTION Walnut Hill’s PC contingent is bank- leaders- and advisors-to-be were hesi- Jeff Bettencourt / Manager ing on the fact that the Class of 2001 will tant to question the diversity gods; stu- be too dazed by its sudden entrance into dents hand-picked by the University to the ivory tower to put up much of a fight. introduce college life to freshmen had BUSINESS Nobody feels comfortable making not yet mastered the fine art of free Ananda Gupta / Manager waves— much less raising hell— im- inquiry. mediately after being thrust into an un- The multicultural mavens are well CONTRIBUTORS familiar environment. But year after year aware of the power they wield and the the Correct mistake silence for compli- intimidation that accompanies it. They Julie Rockett / Tracey Seslen ance, assuming that each class passively know that if this lackluster resistance is Michael Beethan / Aimee Peschel accepts their programming just because the most subversive behavior they elicit Nathan Holtey / Naveen Malwal nobody— except, of course, THE from an audience of highly motivated Paul Krieger SOURCE— stands athwart Orientation upperclassmen, they need not fear dis- yelling, “Stop!” sent from wary freshmen. It is this But it doesn’t sink in quite so easily. Orwellian mastery of authority that en- Even moderate-to-left-leaning Jumbos abled the PC pack to conclude its hostile Jessica Schupak / Editor Emerita who accept the core tenets of takeover of the university, entrenching multiculturalism have trouble convinc- themselves in the administration and ing themselves of the doctrine’s more faculty of virtually every elite institu- FOUNDERS Brian Kelly / Dan Marcus radical implications. This almost-sub- tion in the nation. conscious resistance manifested itself at Students that dare oppose the PC this year’s diversity panel for Explora- agenda know they are not merely going THE PRIMARY SOURCE IS A NON-PROFIT, STUDENT tions and Perspectives leaders, in which against the grain but uttering a funda- PUBLICATION OF T UFTS U NIVERSITY. THE OPINIONS EXPRESSED student after student cautiously poked at mental blasphemy that undermines the IN ARTICLES, FEATURES, PHOTOS, CARTOONS, OR ADVERTISE- the fragile ideological bubbles surround- core tenets on which leftism— and our MENTS ARE SOLELY THOSE OF THE INDIVIDUAL AUTHOR(S) OR SPONSOR(S) AND DO NOT NECESSARILY REFLECT THE VIEWS OF ing Tufts’s cultural-separatism czars. modern culture— are based. THE EDITORS OR THE STAFF. OPINIONS EXPRESSED IN EDITORI- Witnessing the spectacle, I was reminded THE SOURCE is proud to do just that ALS ARE SOLELY THOSE OF THE RESPONSIBLE EDITOR. THE PRIMARY SOURCE WELCOMES ALL LETTERS. WE of Friedrich Nietzsche’s observation that every other week throughout the school RESERVE THE RIGHT TO EDIT OR TO DENY PUBLICATION TO ANY one may long stand in the shadow of an year. We do it out of respect for what the LETTER BASED ON ITS LENGTH AND/OR CONTENT. EACH AU- idea without fully grasping it. academy used to be. We do it because no THOR IS REQUIRED TO INCLUDE HIS NAME AND PHONE NUMBER. ANY LETTER TO AN INDIVIDUAL STAFF MEMBER CONCERNING One girl noted, “The theme of our ideology is so sacred that it should be WORK PUBLISHED IN THE PRIMARY SOURCE MAY BE PUB- freshman diversity panel was being dif- accepted blindly without question or LISHED ON THE LETTERS PAGE. LETTERS OF 400 WORDS OR FEWER HAVE A GREATER CHANCE OF BEING PUBLISHED. ferent, that different is good.... But you dissent. We do it because the blasphemy PLEASE DIRECT ALL CORRESPONDENCE TO: don’t acknowledge that it’s okay not to is often the very kernel of truth for [email protected] or THE PRIMARY SOURCE, be different.” Responses from Asian- which we search. —KL MAYER CAMPUS CENTER, TUFTS UNIVERSITY, MEDFORD, , 02155. ©1997. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.

4 THE PRIMARY SOURCE, AUGUST 27, 1997 Letters

THE PRIMARY SOURCE, AUGUST 27, 1997 5 Commentary students can look forward to attending another high-profile lec- Colorblind at U. Cal. ture, this one by former British Prime Minister Margaret Thatcher. Thatcher’s Downing Street record stands on its own merit, but Two years ago, the California Board of Regents took a giant some of her greatest triumphs should be highlighted here. As leap forward in the battle for true equality when it ruled that state- maverick capitalist, she spearheaded Britain’s transition from the operated professional and graduate colleges must disregard race, dark ages of socialism to a period of unprecedented free market sex, and ethnicity in admissions policies. Predictably, the new growth, privatizing countless state-controlled operations and slash- merit-based process reduced the amount of minority applicants ing cumbersome tax burdens by as much as 40%. As Iron Lady, she admitted this fall, especially at Berkeley, Davis, and Los Angeles took on Argentina in the Falklands War and withstood an IRA law schools, where the number dropped from 946 to 685. Of the assassination attempt, proving that peace through strength is not 304 blacks who applied to Boalt Hall, fourteen were offered an exclusively American success story. And as steward of a once- admission, down from 75 the previous year. None of the fourteen faltering Conservative Party, she carried an eleven-year long chose to attend Boalt, with the sole black student in last year’s coalition until stepping down in 1990. class deferring admission until this year. Since the right-minded rarely tread the path to Walnut Hill, Despite the fact that no students have lodged discrimination Thatcher’s visit is long overdue. Last year, only James Baker charges, six groups advocating affirmative action filed complaints among Tufts’ many speakers hailed from the right side of the with the US Department of political spectrum. His mixed com- Education’s Office for Civil pany included national-health-care Rights, which then launched an guru Henry Foster, the perennially investigation into the University oppressed Maya Angelou, and class of California grad schools. One warrior Noam Chomsky, all three at complainant, the Mexican Ameri- Jumbos’ hefty expense. In light of its can Legal Defense and Education affinity for radicals, the University’s Fund, boasts suspiciously close ties decision to host the ideologically to the head of the OCR, Norma ‘deviant’ Baroness comes as a pleas- Cantu. The office will interrogate ant surprise indeed. University officials, asking non- sense like, “What is your purpose National Endowments for Waste in admissions?” and “How do you implement your purpose?” The Do West African textiles ex- feds will also interview witnesses cite you? If not, you may find it quite to learn whether “any racial bias outrageous that they’re the focus of a has snuck into” the process. The CD-ROM project costing the tax- investigation could result in Cali- payer $180,000 in National Endow- fornia losing its $1.1 billion in ment for the Humanities grant funds, federal education funds. conducted by Tufts’s own Lynda Before hitting a government Shaffer. She isn’t the only campus roadblock, the U. Cal. schools were professor flushing taxpayer money on the right track. They had finally down the research toilet, but at least begun accepting applicants on the John Brooke, another recipient of sheer basis of demonstrated aca- federally-financed NEH grants, will demic excellence as the only true NEH grant recipient Professor John Brooke concentrate on American topics. (Not measure of a student’s qualifica- that his planned study of gender, tions. Sadly, if Cantu and her comrades have their way, mediocrity race, and class in the northern front of commercial slavery will once again triumph. Big Brother should refrain from engaging warrants any federal funding, either.) Undeniably, arts and hu- in the redistributive practice of handing out grants to states in the manities play a key role in the cultural enrichment of any society. first place; the OCR’s threats to penalize California on the basis There is nothing inherently inimical about exploring America’s of trumped up discrimination charges eerily remind us why. rich history, creating a masterpiece painting, or designing a comprehensive educational web site. Professors should always Stage Right participate in fostering such appreciation among their students. But when those efforts retain their funding from a federal govern- Three cheers for Issam Fares. If not for his sponsorship of a ment whose Constitution makes no such allowance in the first Fall lecture series at Tufts, Jumbos hoping for quality speakers place, abuses tend to result. would be out of luck. So far, the generous benefactor has bankrolled Boston Globe columnist Jeff Jacoby reports that two years the appearances of world-class leaders such as former President ago, Congress reduced the budgets of both the NEH and its sister Bush and former Secretary of State James Baker. This September, agency, the National Endowment for the Arts, by 40% after public

6 THE PRIMARY SOURCE, AUGUST 27, 1997 outcry erupted over Robert Mapplethorpe’s pictures of himself The Tightest Ship in the Extortion Business engaging in anal intercourse with a bullwhip, Andres Serrano’s “Piss Christ,” and Annie Sprinkle’s masturbation sessions with Management was not the only loser in the Teamsters’ strike sex props before live audiences. That reduction may have spurred against UPS. While the corporation lost some of its most important on the NEA even further in its scheme to shock the public with its clients and millions in revenues, its employees fared little better. filthy excuses for art. Recently, Illinois State University’s Fiction The much-ballyhooed 10,000 “new jobs” UPS has promised to Collective received $25,000 to produce raunchy books such as create in the next five years are more than offset by the 20,000 S&M. Hallwalls, a Buffalo arts center, won a grant to screen We’re employees it has had to lay off to compensate for lost business. Talking Vulva, a video of dancing lesbians dressed as vaginas. The After deducting 16 strike days of lost wages, the “pay raise” its Film Society of Lincoln Center will get $60,000 for exhibitions employees take home will amount to less than the rate of inflation. like the 1997 New Directors/ New Film Series feature, Sick, the And since labor has maintained control over UPS pension funds— tale of a masochist who nails the head of his penis to a board, while so it can subsidize other Teamsters who have less generous plans, “If I Had a Hammer” plays in the background. pay off its unfunded liabilities, and finance union graft—UPS In September, the Senate will decide whether or not to retirees will enjoy annuity payments 50% smaller than those eliminate the depraved NEA once and for all. If they succeed in originally offered by management. that hard-won battle, they ought to turn their attention to the NEH. No wonder, then, that union bosses refused to let UPS Clearly, there’s quite a distinction between obscene presentations employees vote on the decision to strike. Had workers been given and scholarly research projects— even if thelatter are academi- a choice, they probably would have accepted UPS’s initial gener- cally bankrupt gestures to multiculturalism. ous offer. But a strike, even if not in the interest of workers, was But no evidence exists of a public demand very much in the interest of the union, for either endeavor. If operated under the which needed both a public-rela- proper domain of the private market, We're not tions victory (labor’s first in where public approval decides, such NEA years) as well as the economic and NEH waste would never see the clout afforded it by control- light of day. ling UPS’s billion-dollar gonna pension program. True to Provincetown Poison form, labor used intimi- dation tactics to keep its Anyone familiar with the New strike members in line. At England area knows that Provincetown, some UPS plants, pick- Massachusetts, is, put delicately, no place to raise eters beat employees a family. The city surpasses even San Francisco in the public brave enough to cross flaunting of sexual eccentricities, and nearly half its parents are their lines. In Houston, homosexual. “Queer tolerance” is a residential requisite. the head of the Police Tolerance is one thing; indoctrination quite another. Sadly, Patrolmen’s Union ordered the difference seems to have eluded the Provincetown School cops to pull over and harass Board, which unanimously consented to injecting homosexual any “scab” UPS truck drivers on “education” into the curriculum of the city’s public schools. the road. So much for the myth that Now, the school system will barrage kindergartners and high unions exist to protect workers. schoolers alike with homosexual literature, lectures, and drills on In truth, unions exist for the statements like, “Not all families contain a mother and a father.” benefit of their bosses. Barbara Zack The Provincetown Anti-Bias School and Community Project, a Quindel, appointed by a federal court seven-point plan introduced by the PTA, calls for the school to monitor corruption in the Team- system to actively seek and hire “sexual minorities.” Schools will sters’ December 1996 presidential begin this year using “alternative” curricula and teachers’ manu- election, has ruled that supporters of president Ron Carey em- als that will include books like “Rethinking Our Classrooms,” bezzled union dues to underwrite his campaign. Curiously, Quindel which includes an instruction guide headlined, “What do we say did not disclose these findings until after the resolution of the UPS when we hear ‘faggot’?” dispute, thereby protecting the union’s public image and giving it When “tolerance” meant simply to live and let live, homo- an unfair advantage in negotiations. Government–labor sexual activists worked mainly to end active persecution of gays backscratching, of course, is nothing new—taxpayers paid $22 rather than force-feeding their lifestyle choices to impressionable million for said fraudulent election—so it should also come as no children. This latest step— asking the government to usurp the surprise that a New York grand jury is investigating allegations parental responsibility of moral instruction— calls for the active that in 1996 the Democratic National Committee made unspeci- dismantling of the traditional family structure. Hopefully, P- fied “commitments” to the Teamsters in exchange for more than town’s more sensible residents will realize that child abuse $1 million to state and local party affiliates. Teamster honesty is warrants no tolerance wherever it occurs. harder to find than Jimmy Hoffa.

THE PRIMARY SOURCE, AUGUST 27, 1997 7 Fortnight in Review SM PS “Xena: Warrior Princess” star Lucy Lawless showed up Comedy is allied to Justice. unexpectedly for “Xena Night” at a Soho lesbian bar. Watch for —Aristophanes “Xena Night” at Orientation ’98.

PS Yikes: labor’s back! Thinking Hoffa is where it’s at, Denver PS Police arrested soap star Michael Nader of “All My Children” bus drivers and mechanics are in the midst of hot contract for drunk driving— with his 13-year-old daughter in the passenger negotiations. In Detroit, teachers threatened to declare a strike on seat. Actually, rumor has it that he’s being framed by Stefano as the first day of school if their contract demands are not met. And part of a secret plan to bring Henrietta and Dr. Drake Ramoré back right at home in Medford/Somerville, laid-off Tufts janitors together— but Francisco doesn’t know that Pamela is really picket, protest, and prepare a lawsuit against dear alma mater. pregnant with J.R.’s baby. Hardest they’ve worked since the capitalists allegedly won the Cold War. PS Aging sex kitten and militant animal rights activist Bridget Bardot is protesting a Moscow plan to kill thousands of homeless PS Parents of modern-day-Menudo Hanson wouldn’t let their dogs and cats. What’s the problem? All dogs go to heaven. teenagers appear on RuPaul’s racy VH1 talk show. After all, they wouldn’t want PS Beantown their kids to start Mayor Tom trying to look like Menino and Act- women. ing Governor Paul Cellucci presided PS Not-in- over the unveiling trouble-yet Rep. of a monument to Joe Kennedy Sacco and sprained a liga- Vanzetti, two im- ment in a hot- migrants wrong- and-heavy touch fully executed in football match 1927. Professor with cousin John- Bedau take note. John. Or so the CIA wants you to PS The Hilo believe. County Council in Hawaii will add PS Federal offi- $55,000 to the cials have deter- $420,000 fund al- mined that San ready established Francisco has ne- to defend police glected national health standards for clean air. Not to mention for officers against a federal lawsuit over alleged cheating on promo- VD transmission. tion exams. They featured challenging questions like, “How many donuts are in a dozen?” PS Delaware Governor Carper declared that he would support legislation doubling the tobacco tax in that state to twenty-four PS American bishops proposed re-translating the official Mass cents to discourage tikes from toking the poison sticks. At the very from Latin in order to make it more politically correct. A line least it will discourage them from voting Democrat. which currently reads, “You formed man in your own likeness and set him over the whole world to serve you, his creator, and rule PS Big Apple feminists are protesting the construction of a over all creations” would become “You formed man and woman Hooters restaurant on Broadway and 56th. It just doesn’t fit in with in your own likeness and entrusted the whole world to their care all the porn shops and peep shows. so that in serving you alone, their creator, they might be stewards of all creation.” A new Eleventh Commandment makes abortion PS The New York Post discovered eleven typographical errors on a sacrament. eight plaques in the monument park at Yankee Stadium. Serves the Bronx Bombers right for contracting Observer alums. PS Kansas ended the fiscal year a whopping $528 million under- budget. Similarly, New Mexico turned a $77 million surplus while PS Luciano Pavarotti will star in a television series wherein the Massachusetts is deliberating on how to spend its $610 million in tubby tenor travels across Europe sampling cuisine and gabbing excess revenues, tentatively earmarking it for three different with chefs at his favorite restaurants. For an encore, he will sing funds. None of them plan on returning the money to those from “Coke Is It!” while gargling lard. whom it was stolen.

8 THE PRIMARY SOURCE, AUGUST 27, 1997 PS A new study from Columbia Teachers College reveals that PS The Boston Herald is looking far and wide for a Bill Clinton traditional dating is almost dead on campuses, while casual sex look-a-like. The doppelganger will be sent to foreign countries to and alcohol-spawned affairs are on the rise. Columbia reports an conduct diplomacy while the real Bubba hides under his secretary’s unprecedented rise in student volunteers for faculty research. desk— with no drawers.

PS Postal Service Board Chairman Tirso del Junco announced that PS Former District Judge James Hogue and his wife, Kathleen, he would like to push the proposed stamp-price hike back due to the will stand trial for bilking a little old lady out of her $100,000 life unexpected revenue increase that resulted from the UPS strike. You savings. Hogue is reported to be a well-groomed African-Ameri- know your union fails you when the Post Office pulls a profit. can male with a pleasant manner.

PS In a Security alert distributed by the Department of Public PS Taylors, South Carolina, will try 21-year-old James Dawson Safety, Tisch librarians reported that an unidentified male stole for kidnapping the child he babysat. If convicted, he faces bed cash out of a drawer in a library office. They described the perp as without dessert or television. follows: “African-American male, 20-25 Years old, 5’10” tall, stocky build, short, cropped curly hair, well-groomed, and a PS Jail birds in Minneapolis are climbing the walls since officials pleasant manner.” They noticed he said “please” and “thank you” declared a prison smoking ban on August 1. Gives them nothing when he snatched the wallet. to do after anal sex.

PS Burger King is preparing an advertising campaign to regain PS In a survey conducted at the Harley Davidson Café, New public confidence after its 28-state E coli scare. It’s not the E coli Yorkers overwhelmingly voted for Howard Stern to become the you’ve got to look out for: it’s the teenage burger flippers’ greasy next recorded celebrity voice reminding them to buckle up in back hair. taxicabs. The runner-up choice was a string of incomprehensible words in Farci. PS Maine Governor King announced $110 million in new student loans to encourage more high schoolers in the state to go on to PS The Houston, Texas, City Council banned ice cream trucks institutions of higher learning. When that doesn’t work, plan B: near schools after too many kids rushed into traffic to buy the free hookers! frosty treats. I scream, you scream, we all scr—

PS Presenting the seventh annual PRIMARY SOURCE Innocuously Offensive Statements.

Expression Whom It Offends Category of Offense

Sitting pretty Ugly people Renoism Take it with a grain of salt The Spice Girls Pepper Spicism Flirting with disaster Gianni Versace Cunananism No news is good news Suck-upism One man, one vote TCU senators Tammany Hallism Southern hospitality Martha Stewart Connecticution Break the bank Madison Guaranty McDougalism Let’s blow this joint Bongs Blunting Spread the wealth The wealthy Marxism Strange bedfellows TTLGBC members Sexual elitism Bet the ranch Luckless cowboys Home-on-the-rangism Put out to pasture Old cows Hillaryism Men at work UNICCO workers Unionism Money talks The Euro Capitalism Choose Your Own Adventure Determinists SGSism Eat, drink, and be merry Depressive anorexic alcoholics Hedonism Living on the edge Bono Me2ism Take a hike Paraplegics Podiatrism To protect and to serve The NYPD Plungerism Word of mouth Tuftonians Reitmanation

THE PRIMARY SOURCE, AUGUST 27, 1997 9 Will it be Jesse or Bill? There’s only room protested the inclusion of an abortion plank in the platform, nearly severed an already enough for one of them in this country. beleaguered coalition. Despite outliberaling opponent John Kerry on environmental- ism, partial-birth abortion, and affirmative Cajones, action, Weld still managed to lose his sena- torial bid. During that same campaign, he unofficially declared war on Jesse Helms. Por Favor When asked whether he would support the right-winger as Foreign Relations commit- by Jeff Bettencourt tee chairman, ‘foot-in-mouth’ syndrome kicked in and Weld spouted off against t’s an episode right out of an Old West state, and has bent over backwards to curry Helms’s ideological views. Ilegend: reduced to outlaw status on his favor with the media by distancing himself Clearly, if Weld is unqualified for this home turf, the Sundance Kid struggles to from his own party. coveted position, Senator Helms can look take refuge south of the border. For Massa- As governor, he promised to re-insti- no further than his record to illustrate why. chusetts’ former Governor William Weld, tute the death penalty, vowed never to sign The former governor’s support of medici- who resigned earlier this month to pursue a legislative pay raise, and championed nal marijuana should be left out of the his nomination as US Ambassador to term limits. Today, Massachusetts citizens equation as irrelevant. Resorting to such Mexico, this plot strikes a familiar chord. can thank Weld not for a capital punish- transparent and infantile excuses reflects But in the turn-of-the-century stand-off, ment law— he never made good on that poorly on Helms’s own no-nonsense repu- the long arm of the law steps in and fires pledge, but for a taxpayer-funded legisla- tation as a man of backbone. several rounds of ammo into his hide. tive pay raise bill he signed which in- Alienating himself among his own Unfortunately for our modern-day creased Beacon Hill salaries by nearly fifty party and losing support among Massachu- Sundance, the road down south travels per cent. And so much for term limits; right setts’ largely Democratic voters, Weld pa- through the office of Jesse Helms, Chair- up until he turned the corner office over to thetically reached out to his one last hope, man of the Senate Foreign Relations Com- Lieutenant Governor Argeo Paul Celluci, President Clinton, for a shot at a political mittee. The conservative stalwart from Weld hinted he might run a third time. future. If Mexico doesn’t pan out, Clinton South Carolina never made any bones about Many willingly overlook these gaffes in may pacify him with India. Rumor has it his refusal to conduct Weld’s nomination light of Weld’s fiscal accomplishments, Weld may even take a stab at the White hearing. But the governor might have ca- but even this aspect of his record requires House in 2000— as Al Gore’s Vice Presi- joled him into at least entertaining the some reckoning. William F. Buckley, Jr. dential nominee. If there’s any substance to possibility, perhaps by quietly hashing it once pointed out that the state spends more this rumor, Helms should open hearings out mano a mano. now than it did when Weld took office, “an now. At least in Mexico, Pretty Boy Floyd Instead, the would-be diplomat chose increase double the inflation rate.” can’t cause any more trouble. the most undiplomatic course of action Throughout his career, Weld has will- possible: he launched an unsuccessful me- fully attempted to sabotage the Republican Mr. Bettencourt is a junior majoring in dia blitz against Helms, denouncing him on Party’s conservative alignment. The San Engineering Computer Science. national television, and then took cover Diego convention showdown, at which he under Dick Lugar’s senatorial coattails. Lugar, still nursing his own wounds after Helms unseated him as Chairman of For- eign Relations, threatened to take it out on South Carolina’s tobacco farmers. Whether or not this misguided intimidation tactic will prove successful remains to be seen. But after pulling such childish stunts, Weld could very well find himself removed from the public spotlight for good. All summer long, those expecting a real Mexican Standoff could only watch in wonder as Weld retreated from his nem- esis. But a statesman who can’t even face up to those within his own political party has no business representing American na- tional interests abroad. Weld’s record re- flects countless instances in which he has backed down on key issues in his home Former Governor William Weld Senator Jesse Helms

10 THE PRIMARY SOURCE, AUGUST 27, 1997 SPECIALA SECTION THE PRIMARY SOURCE Guide to Who’s Who and What’s What at Tufts University

Michael Powell is Tufts’s paid apologist for its affirmative action Robyn Gittleman rules the Experimental College with an iron policies. His job includes twisting numbers to make it look as if fist. She makes damn sure freshman earn their pass credit in preferential treatment isn’t admitting any students with substan- Explorations and Perspectives— Beware! dard test scores. He finds the easiest way to do this is by hiding the Office decoration bonus: Mrs. Gittleman really digs Title IX. statistics in a dungeon under his office padlocked in a steel vault bearing the sign, “Beware: radiation leak.” The Student Coalition for Investor Responsibility at Tufts Objective journalism bonus: Mr. Powell was once the focus (SCIRT) is the brainchild of since-departed activist of an Observer news story headlined, “Affirmative acronym queen Kathy “Put Down That Oppres- Action an Asset to Tufts.” sive Soda Pop” Polias. The half-baked plan’s grand objective is to make sure that Tufts Knable and Reitman form one of Tufts’s only invests in companies that recycle sorriest dynamic duos. Bobbie Knable is their coffee cups. The TCU Senate has the Dean of Students and the godmother already fallen for it hook, line, and of political correctness on the Hill. Over sinker, and the trustees look to be the the course of her reign, she has insti- next ones on the sucker block. tuted a campus speech code, been an ardent advocate of racially segregated The Ballou Receptionist is the housing, and championed racial quo- woman who sits at the front desk in tas. Dean Knable is very charming and hands out copies and outgoing as well as a master of of The Daily to passersby. Al- deception. She never returns her ways eager to direct lost souls to phone calls. signs with obscure directions, we As for Bruce Reitman, he plays are sure she will continue to main- Robin to Knable’s Batman, Dick tain her post once Tufts Review is Morris to her Clinton, Gary to her completed. After all, it’s not her Ace, Tonto to her Lone Ranger, Engels fault she’s a parasite. to her Marx, Trotsky to her Lenin. Look-alike bonus: When Reitman The Observer is Tufts’s Newspaper tried to grow a mustache last year, he of Record, founded and last read in actually looked kind of like Lenin him- 1895. We recommend perusing the self. Police Blotter to find out what TUPD is up to when they’re not illegally parked at Bridge/Metcalf is for those students who don’t Dunkin’ Donuts. Nobody’s ever figured out receive enough Marxist indoctrination in Sociol- what to do with the rest of it, but we think their left- ogy 1. Knable unplugged every Tuesday night. leaning editors (gasp!) recycle everything. Housing follies bonus: Gives some of the best rooms on campus to the biggest losers. The Tufts Daily is for those who like to write but don’t care much about grammar. Josh Goldenberg is the TCU Treasurer, which means he is the Humiliation bonus: The Daily is often scooped by the weekly person most directly responsible for funding student organizations, Observer. including this publication. Naturally, we’re quite fond of the man. A snappy dresser, a witty companion, and the greatest mind since THE PRIMARY SOURCE, Tufts’s Voice of Reason for fifteen years, is Ben Franklin, Mr. Goldenberg has the rugged good looks of Mel a bastion for lovers of liberty, and a refuge for the victims of political Gibson. He seems to be the perfect successor to Pope John Paul II. correctness.

THE PRIMARY SOURCE, AUGUST 27, 1997 11 SPECIALA SECTION

12 THE PRIMARY SOURCE, AUGUST 27, 1997 SPECIALA SECTION

THE PRIMARY SOURCE, AUGUST 27, 1997 13 SPECIALA SECTION RE-ORIENTATION 1997

Sunday, August 24 4:00 pm: Why “No” Means “No”: Respecting Choices. Date 1:00 pm: Euros invade... Come see why the EU is a lousy rape seminar followed by other tautological talks including idea. “Why Yes Means Yes” and “Why Maybe Means Maybe.” 5:30 pm: Food fair for new students: the free frisbees taste Tuesday, August 26 better than the food they serve in them. 7:30 pm: Commuters check in for a sleepover in Miller Hall. 8:30 pm: Convocation. Fire! Fire! Don’t get too comfy. 11:00 pm: Midnight Café at Oxfam Café. You’ll find no food, folks, or fun at this event. Wednesday, August 27 8:00 am: American freshmen herded into dorm rooms while Saturday, August 30 amused Euros watch. They’ve already taken the space by the Noon: ECO Beach Clean-up. Watch the legacy of Dukakis window and the good mattress. come alive. 9:30-10:30 am: Historic Tufts: campus tour for parents and 7:00 pm: International Students and Friends Ice Cream Social. freshmen. Undoubtedly the tour guide will catalogue Tufts’s This is the time on Sprockets when we lick. experience with speech codes and TuftsPIRG as highlights of Tuftonian heritage. Sunday, August 31 Noon: Lunch on the lawn: Call it Woodstock III. 11:00 am: Hillel Bagels and Lox Welcome Brunch. Rev. 1:45 pm: Matriculation. It won’t cause blindness or hairy Scotty McLennan slaps on a yarmulke for a free lunch. palms. 1:00 pm: Shopping Excursion to the Galleria Mall in Cam- 3:00 pm: Visit the Health Services Open House for some free bridge. Mallrats fans take note. condoms and syringes. 8:30 pm: College Life followed by make-your-own-ice cream Monday, September 1 sundaes. One of the only exercises that does not stress collabo- 2:00 pm: Crafts and Field Day which will feature tie-dying rative thinking and cooperative effort. and beading activities, but sans doobage. 3:30 pm: Live music and ice cream sponsored by the chap- Thursday, August 28 lains. Beam-me-up Scotty dishing it out for once. 7:15 am: Breakfast in the dining halls. We recommend you eat 5:30 pm: Labor Day Barbecue. Come show your solidarity for before you go. UNICCO. Noon: Seal clubbing on the Quad, sponsored by THE SOURCE. 7:00 pm: “Many Stories, One Community”: Many commu- Tuesday, September 2 nists, much idiocy. 8:30 pm: Classes begin. Don’t forget to sign up for some 10:00 pm: Club Night. Cheap Sox for everyone. Experimental College courses. 7:00 pm: Better start studying for Perspectives. Friday, August 29 11:00 am: Studying to Excel. To save you time, we present Friday, September 5 our tips: 3:00 pm: “Meet the Press.” Tim Russert will not be presiding, 1. Only cheat from smart kids. but come meet members of the campus media anyway. The 2. Print papers in Courier—12 point. Tufts Daily— international students fear not; mastery of the 3. Major in English. English language not necessary. The Observer— because 4. Carefully read the back of your textbooks. literacy isn’t everything. WMFO— freeform, man, freeform. 5. Begin all of your papers with “This paper is about...” or “I TUTV— try out for the Tufts soap opera “Too Much Time on feel...” Our Hands.” The Zamboni— about as funny as a “kick in the 12:30 pm: Library Orientation (fifteen minute tours)— hardly head.” THE PRIMARY SOURCE— meet the elite, if the University enough time to find the book. hasn’t muffled us by then.

14 THE PRIMARY SOURCE, AUGUST 27, 1997 Political correct, academic neglect— fill World Civ, students had to take a tag- team-taught course in which multiple pro- learning in a multi-culty land. fessors contributed their knowledge on non- Western cultures. The University recently allowed a handful of courses offered within The Leaning the established departments, Caribbean Literature, for example, to satisfy World Civ. Though the requirement is less rigid Tower of PC than at its conception, it is nevertheless peculiar that Tufts demands appreciation by Jessica Schupak for any non-American, non-European cul- ture in the absence of a Western civiliza-

elcome to Tufts where every stu- deans’ brainchild terminated, though tions requirement. Wdent— black, white, differently Knable and Reitman still hold their posts. But the World Civ requirement is only abled, or otherwise— must take four years Knable’s days of playing Big Brother one of many examples of Tufts openly of PC 101. In addition to academic penal- were not over, however. In the spring of embracing diversity for diversity’s sake. ties, failure will result in ostracization. 1993 she canceled a forum on gays in the Often the University’s multicultural agenda Freshmen will receive a taste, or rather military, according to an event organizer, encourages students to participate in ethnic a gagging dose, of PC during Orientation, because scheduled panelist Terry Jeffery, separatism. Though emphasizing differ- which features “Many Stories, One Com- then a Pat Buchanan policy analyst, was ences rather than similarities can only cause munity”— a showcase of all the diversity expected to argue against the morality of fissures in the community structure, Tufts Tufts has to offer, including the guilty homosexuality. At the eleventh hour, Knable conducts separate pre-orientation programs white guy— and “No Means No: Respect- invoked a previously unused stipulation of for minority students. Consequently, upon ing Choices”— a forum which castigates what was then called the Controversial joining up with the rest of the freshmen, men for, of all things, expressing interest in Speaker’s Policy (since PCed to “Programs participating students have already made women, and insinuates that all men have with Special Security Needs”) which barred friends within their own ethnic enclaves rapists trapped within them. Though the such programs from taking place within two and thus have little reason to develop a intensity of the indoctrination may sub- weeks of final exams. Knable’s paternalistic truly “diverse” clique. Segregated academic side, it will not disappear after Orientation. actions not only implied that Tufts students societies and similarly homogenous reli- Those in doubt should examine an abridged are too immature to entertain controversial gious, artistic, and fraternal organizations catalogue of Tufts’s recent PC history. ideas during reading period, but also ex- further promote racial separatism. The posed her political motivation, since the University most effectively institutional- Bound and Gagged debate had already dominated the campus izes racial separatism through its “culture Tufts has a long and sordid history of media for two years. houses” in which residents are chosen pri- censorship, beginning with the University’s marily on the basis of race. These houses infamous speech codes. Seven years ago Many Communities, One Story host separate resource centers with full- Dean Bobbie Knable and sidekick Bruce Throughout university literature Tufts time faculty advisors. The African-Ameri- Reitman took advantage of then-President boasts of its commitment to furthering di- can Resource Center, located in Capen Jean Mayer’s absence (he was on sabbati- versity. But the diversity Tufts craves is cal in France) to prohibit “offensive” lan- purely superficial; it seeks only to expand Continued on the next page. guage outside of the classroom. Outraged the range of ra- at the new regulation which stressed “in- cial, ethnic, clusion and diversity” over “an absolute and sexual di- interpretation of the doctrine of free versity on speech,” members of THE PRIMARY SOURCE campus and formed the Free Speech Movement to com- hold static, if bat the draconian policy. The Free Speech not contract, Movement drowned the campus in articles intellectual di- condemning Reitman for statements such versity. In the as, “It’s unconstitutional to say ‘Fags Should spirit of the Die.’ It’s not unconstitutional to post a sign crusade for that says ‘Gays Spread AIDS.’ The Consti- cosmetic vari- tution protects that. I don’t know if I want ety, Tufts in- to see Tufts protect that.” The group re- stalled a ceived significant press coverage, which is World Civili- how Mayer learned of his underlings’ du- zations re- plicitous stunt. Similarly dismayed, the quirement in president phoned Ballou and ordered the 1992. To ful-

THE PRIMARY SOURCE, AUGUST 27, 1997 15 Tufts’s ROTC affiliation, though the TCU then teamed up with Jack Schnirman to form Continued from the previous page. judiciary subsequently overturned the de- the Student Coalition for Investor Responsi- cision on constitutional grounds. If the bility at Tufts (SCIRT) which advocates that House, distributes perhaps the most offen- radicals had succeeded, the protesters would the University place what the group deems sive piece of literature on campus. The have denied many students the opportunity “ethical responsibilities,” such as recycling, African American Center Study Guide con- to afford a Tufts education, not to mention above portfolio profitability— an unsound descendingly reminds readers to go to class, serve their country. And there is still the strategy especially for an institution with complete homework before it is due, and periodic call from such “progressives” to such limited fiscal resources. take notes on 8½ x 11-inch paper. suspend the observance of Veterans’ Day. Polias and Schnirman were overshad- owed, however, by animal activist Jaime The African American Center Study I Learned It from Watch- Roth. The founder of the Human Animal ing You Mutualism Society, Miss Roth was arrested Guide condescendingly reminds Activism at Tufts trick- for breaking into a mink farm, freeing readers to go to class, complete les down. That is, adminis- several mink, and attempting to set the homework before it is due, and take trative rabble-rousing sets an farm on fire. Miss Roth even topped the example for students. Five notoriety of the previous year’s most promi- notes on 8½ x 11-inch paper. years ago, students lobbied nent radical, Carol Wan. Miss Wan threw Tufts to divest from Hydro- a public temper tantrum when the TCU Teach the Children Well Quebec, a Canadian hydroelectric project, treasury refused to subsidize the Chinese Tufts’s lack of concern for intellectual claiming that the development displaced Culture Club’s take-out orders. The infi- diversity is reflected in the professional Indians and caribou. Though the caribou nitely sensitive and spineless Senate re- behavior of its faculty and administration. received no compensation for their alleged versed the budget cut; and Wan, the Senate, The University has invited a litany of radical displacement, the Indians were paid hand- and Tufts earned biting criticism in George speakers such as Joycelyn Elders, Khallid somely and relocated voluntarily. Just last Will’s nationally syndicated column. Mohammed, and Patricia Ireland to cam- year, Kathy Polias (J ’97) lead a crusade to If Tufts were as committed to educa- pus, while it has altogether avoided ideo- make Tufts take the Pepsi challenge. She tion as it is to censorship and logical balance. Similarly, issues of this plead to have Dining Services drop its multiculturalism, it might for once rank publication routinely disappear en masse Pepsi contract in favor of more costly Coca- higher in US News & World Report than it from their distribution sites; on one occa- Cola because Pepsi conducted business in does in Mother Jones’s ‘Top Twenty Ac- sion thousands of issues were “recycled” by Burma. Had the majority of students shared tivist Schools’ list. If the trend continues, University employees while the administra- Miss Polias’s convictions, they would have 1997-8 will no doubt provide plenty of PC tion turned a blind eye and offered no expla- refrained from consuming Pepsi products, episodes to add to Tufts’s record. Fortu- nation or apology. and the University would have then cur- nately, it takes only one good class to break Some professors stand out in their will- tailed its orders. But Miss Polias insisted on the cycle— and chart a worthwhile course ingness to abuse their university posts. Re- using the powers of the administration to into the next millennium. cently dethroned Dean Liz Ammons pro- make students’ decisions for them. tested outside former President George Pepsi’s subsequent withdrawal from Miss Schupak is a senior Bush’s 1994 Fares Lecture with a picket Myanmar did not satisfy Miss Polias, who majoring in History and Economics. sign. The following semester Political Sci- ence professor Lisa Brandes attended her class, which had nothing to do with abor- tion, sporting a “defend a woman’s right to choose” pin, taking advantage of a captive audience who could not object to her politi- cal posturing. For decades professors and adminis- trators have tried to terminate Tufts’s par- ticipation in the Reserved Officers Train- ing Corps for various political reasons. To protest the Vietnam war, Tufts barred ROTC from drilling on campus, and so to this day participating students must travel to MIT. If that were not a great enough inconve- nience, many faculty and students protest the University’s acceptance of ROTC schol- arships altogether because of the Defense Department’s policy on gays in the mili- tary. In 1992, the TCU Senate voted to end

16 THE PRIMARY SOURCE, AUGUST 27, 1997 Can students expect tuition site vaguely describes the five areas for which Coopers & Lybrand recommended relief from Tufts Review? reductions— Financial Services, Institu- tional Advancement, Research Adminis- tration, Human Resources Processes, and A Vision Beyond Student Services. McGurty explained that offices such as the registrar, the bursar, and financial aid which fall under the broad Your Wallet category of student services will be exam- ined for maximum efficiency. One ex- by Micaela Dawson ample of wasteful spending already noted by Coopers and acted upon by Tufts in- o, how much will you give your Tufts Review volves security operations at the Aidekman “S college after you graduate?” The For far too long, Tufts has turned a Arts Center. As of July 1, Tufts halved the typical student will most likely respond blind eye to the reality of rising tuition. As number of student security officers and laid favorably. Schools as near as Harvard and if in response to this assessment, President off the administrative overseer, but not Boston College boast generous endowments DiBiaggio recently launched Tufts Review, without a handsome severance package. partly as a result of their prestige, but a long-overdue cost-cutting endeavor de- Indeed, the President’s letter sparingly mostly because their grads retain fond signed “to respond to the public belief that addresses loss of positions resulting from memories of their alma maters. tuition is too high.” DiBiaggio announced, this study: “We would hope that this could For Tufts students, however, the re- “We want to make sure that every penny be achieved in part through attrition. When sponse is usually less encouraging. Jum- we’re getting we are using properly.” To this is not the case, however, we will assist bos are more likely to scowl and launch carry out this effort, he contracted the those affected to seek other jobs within the into tirades about how they’ve already Higher Education Consulting Services of University or identify opportunities out- been nickel-and-dimed enough for a life- Coopers & Lybrand, which has produced a side the University.” But Tufts exists as an time, and still have no idea where all the report outlining areas to be streamlined. educational institution, not JobFind. Shuf- money goes. It’s difficult to develop a Vice President for Finance Tom fling employees within departments is no sense of loyalty toward an institution that McGurty explained that the final report is way to reduce costs and defeats the whole constantly finds new ways to rob students scheduled for release sometime in Septem- purpose of the review. blind. In addition to outrageous tuition ber or October, after the University has costs, there are student activities fees, thoroughly considered the suggestions. It’s the Faculty, Stupid study abroad application fees, and mo- Tufts will then undergo a multi-year pro- Ironically, the area most in need of nopolistic telephone, cable, food, and cess of implementing the reforms. No de- improvement, academic departments, was book prices. If you want a transcript, if tails have been disclosed, but the President you’ve locked yourself out of your dorm, issued a letter to the Tufts Community Continued on the next page. if your wallet was stolen and you’ve lost which can be your ID, if you’d like to park your car found on the within walking distance, the web along with administration’s only answer is, “more a list of fre- money please.” quently asked Meanwhile, parents currently shell questions. Un- out thirty thousand dollars a year for their fortunately, children to attend this university, a rate neither of these which is sure to increase another thou- sources of in- sand next year. Many regularly receive formation pro- Telefund calls asking for donations, even vides much while Junior is still enrolled. Fourth-year substance. students can look forward to a ten month- TuftsReview@ long blitz of SeniorFund solicitations. infonet.tufts.edu, The Princeton Review’s Best Colleges the Internet ad- even reports, “The major gripe about the dress provided [Tufts] administration is the constant for the purpose campaign for funds. Notes one junior, of submitting ‘The president has no vision beyond your questions and wallet.’” The bloodletting never ends: concerns, is dear alma mater will search hell and similarly unre- high-water for ways to hit you up for sponsive. more dough. The web President DiBiaggio experiments with efficiency.

THE PRIMARY SOURCE, AUGUST 27, 1997 17 don’t necessarily appeal to quality stu- assistance and research grants as a primary Continued from the previous page dents, either. That the seventh highest priced factor in the need for across-the-board- university in the nation only ranks 23rd on cuts. But private institutions have no busi- intentionally left off the cutting board. Of the US News and World Report scale illus- ness relying on taxpayer dollars as a bud- the 617 full- and part-time Arts and Sci- trates a major discrepancy. If Tufts hopes getary cushion in the first place. Simple ences faculty, surely some are expendable. to become student-centered and remain laws of supply and demand dictate that the competitive, it must offer more the University dips into the infinitely equally competitive tuition deep pockets of the government cash cow, That the seventh highest priced rates. Unfortunately, the fac- less is the incentive to reduce costs. Instead university in the nation only ranks 23rd ulty doesn’t see the situation of blaming Newt Gingrich for cutting stu- in quite the same light. The dent aid, students should have been de- on the US News and World Report scale Budget and Priorities nouncing Uncle Sam for providing it in the illustrates a major discrepancy. Committee’s end of the year first place. report complained that some The President issued this jaw-drop- It seems hardly necessary to continue pay- professors and teaching assistants might ping declaration: “Resistance to high costs ing 17 Ex College instructors, even on a not receive salary increases in the future. of education means that we can no longer part-time basis; or 31 Psychology profes- The faculty were disgruntled that the rely on large increases in tuition to meet sors; or 21 full-time and 31 part-time En- University decided to focus on improving our needs.” Remarkably, a university presi- glish Department faculty. Tufts could serve information technology and the physical dent finally admitted what the world be- students better by reducing the numbers in maintenance of the campus, which has yond academia has known for years. If departments less central to liberal arts cur- resulted in a salary freeze for certain fac- DiBiaggio is serious about tuition relief, ricula, such as Sociology, Urban and Envi- ulty. The committee considered this sacri- Tufts Review is a monumental step in the ronmental Policy, Occupational Therapy, fice unacceptable and promptly demanded right direction and should expand into the and Child Development. In these fields that “the University find outside sources of sacred realm of Academics. The time is alone, Tufts employs seventy professors, funding (particularly for information tech- ripe not only for a Tufts faculty and admin- who, like their colleagues in all other de- nology and capital maintenance and reno- istrative wage freeze, but for a tuition partments, are generously compensated. vation).” But the money grubbing didn’t freeze—or even better, a full-scale reduc- Between 1992 and 1996, every $1,000 stop there. Yet another faculty mouthpiece, tion. Maybe DiBiaggio will even consider tuition hike paid into Tufts by the student the Faculty Research Support and Facili- tightening his own three-hundred-thousand- was met with a $2,000 salary hike paid out ties Advisory Committee, lobbied for “a plus-dollar belt a little. to Arts and Sciences full professors. During policy of one semester of paid leave to that period, students watched tuition jump tenure-track professors after successful Miss Dawson is a senior majoring in from $23,787 to $28,497. In the ‘92-93 completion of the second-year review.” Classics and minoring in Moral Philosophy. academic year, Professor Jumbo received Academic chairs didn’t seem to an average salary of $71,883. In ‘93-94, his mind that this crack-pot scheme salary increased to $74,196, double the could cost up to $10,000 per amount at which tuition rose. The following leave. However, if Tufts contin- year, he received $75,065, but his ‘95-96 ues to yield to professors’ con- wage skyrocketed by $4,000 to $79,008. In stant campaigns for higher wages ‘96-97, it jumped another thousand. and unsound spending propos- Associate professors’ salaries climbed als, Tufts Review will experi- from $52,204 in ‘92-93 to $59,987 in ‘96- ence no progress. 97, an increase of almost eight thousand To foot the bill for exces- dollars over a span of just four years. Assis- sive salary increases, as well as tant professors’ salaries went from $41,955 administrative waste, Tufts has in ‘92-93 to $46,273 in ‘96-97, a more had to dip further into revenue ‘modest’ increase of ‘only’ four thousand generated strictly by tuition. In dollars over the span of four years. Even 1990, the University relied on non-professors are treated royally. The revenues generated by tuition University currently runs an ad on its web and fees for 45% of its opera- site for a Tufts Transgendered, Lesbian, tional budget. In 1997, that num- Gay, and Bisexual Community coordina- ber climbed to 50%. Clearly, tor who will start at a Grade 12 salary; that Tufts needs to adopt more than translates into more than $33,000 just to just a Band-Aid approach to the develop workshops and preside over the problem of reducing the colos- TTLGBC Center. sal budget. To their credit, quality professors don’t The President cited reduc- come cheap. But inordinately high prices tions in federal aid for tuition : Telefund headquarters

18 THE PRIMARY SOURCE, AUGUST 27, 1997 To libertarians, environmentalism should mean time of the law’s debate and passage. It does so by mandating a set of provisions quite a bit more than the spotted owl. which polluting companies can adhere to (at a certain cost) and claim compliance. It gives no incentive to develop technologies Green Capitalism– capable of processing clean-burning West- ern coal more efficiently, a problem over which Senator Byrd’s constituents doubt- Fantasy or Reality? lessly lose little sleep. Other examples abound. Environmen- by Ananda Gupta talists widely recognize the US Forest Ser- vice as a mouthpiece for the logging indus-

riends of the free market and of the two groups, that frame might well be the try. Environmental scholars John Baden and Fenvironment often seem to find them- misguided attempts of government to man- Alston Chase have extensively documented selves at odds with one another. Rarely do age and dictate to systems whose complex- the National Park Service’s mismanage- they pause to think about what they might ity even the smartest bureaucrat could not ment of Yellowstone through its kowtowing have in common. Both groups share a fas- begin to fathom. to politically powerful interests— for ex- cination with systems whose immense com- ample, the livestock industry’s successful plexity defies planning and prediction. Both Environmental Follies play to block re-introduction of wolves to seek to advance an agenda of which the Environmental lobbying groups often Yellowstone’s elk-heavy ecosystem. typical American is skeptical. And both turn to the government. The Sierra Club The environmental movement’s ap- belong to movements which contain fringes once asked for $50 million worth of tax- proach has thus far mirrored that of their of near-religious devotion. payer dollars to prevent the auction of opponents. They seek to become politi- several million acres of prime Northwest cally powerful, and then ensure that their Watermelons and Rapists timber land. Their attempts to sway Con- interests find their way through the politi- Epithets frequently fly on both sides. gress came to nothing, and the land was cal process unscathed. But politicians and Libertarians, following the spirit of the left logged. A few years later, trying a different constituencies are inconstant and fickle— on college campuses, have coined the term tack, it tried to place a bid for some timber and whatever charges one might level at “watermelon”: green on the outside, red on land in Oregon, hoping to prevent its de- the institution of private property, those the inside. “Watermelons” outwardly es- struction— only to be informed that, by particulars cannot be included. (Eminent pouse conservation, but really support an government fiat, logging companies alone domain, or the taking of private property increasingly totalitarian and controlling State would be allowed to bid for the land. In by government, stands as the glaring as the steward of Earth’s natural resources. fact, the Sierra Club offered the highest Conversely, those who express skepticism bid— and the power of the dollar found Continued on the next page. at poorly substantiated claims of global itself frustrated by the power of Robert’s warming or doubt the efficacy of the Endan- Rules. When land falls under po- gered Species Act are labeled rapists of litical control, it follows that Mother Nature, with dollar signs in their only those with political eyes and malice towards trees in their hearts. power will be entrusted But ideological alliance between the two is with its stewardship. not impossible. In fact, it may even be more The Clean Air than just a marriage of convenience. Act’s history shows Politically, both the environment and a similarly skeleton- the free market receive short shrift. The filled closet. two hundred additional pages of federal Touted by ersatz regulations bureaucrats compose and poli- environmental- ticians endorse every day enrage free- ists as one of the marketeers. And environmentalists are simi- most effective larly dismayed when the US Forest Service regulations in authorizes construction of massive logging American his- roads inside pristine wilderness at a net loss tory, the Act fa- to taxpayers and consumers. The common vors the continued element is the inept bureaucrat, the vague use of dirty-burning regulation, the system of patronage— all coal, much like the va- inescapable features of government, all riety in West Virginia— working to each of the two warring groups’ that being the home state of detriment. All successful coalitions require Robert Byrd, chair of the Senate a common frame of reference. For these Appropriations Committee at the

THE PRIMARY SOURCE, AUGUST 27, 1997 19 science’s standards. (The science on acid A Good Fit Continued from the previous page. rain’s effects, contrary to popular opinion, The halfway point at which libertar- is mixed: some scholars maintain that acid ians and environmentalists might meet is exception to the notion that private owner- rain, in moderate quantities, actually stimu- where questions end and answers begin. ship is always reliable.) lates forest growth rather than retarding it). Libertarians understand the answers very Environmental movements can com- Other ecological problems require well; they can refer to a broad theoretical mand significant funds, which might occa- more complex measures to protect prop- framework which encompasses property sionally suffice to counter-bribe govern- erty rights— precautions libertarians should rights and incentives and use that frame- ment agencies in charge of land steward- not dismiss as standard-fare big-govern- work to explain why government abuses ship, but their constituencies are broad and ment regulations. The English and Ameri- the environment. They also understand that diverse, in contrast to the concentrated can common-law traditions have largely tradeoffs result from any human activity. come to grips with the “fugi- Environmentalists ask the right questions. Many ecological problems require tive property” problem, They understand that ecosystems are tre- wherein an animal or bird mendously complex, with a wide variety of complex measures to protect property population does not recog- uses and possibilities. They also under- rights— precautions libertarians should nize property lines and stand that nature’s complexity defies simple thereby proves difficult to answers and pigeonholing. They see the not dismiss as standard-fare big- own. Tagging each indi- libertarian’s framework, but wince when government regulations. vidual animal is often unfea- he tries to pound the environment’s square sible. The problem of fugi- peg into a theoretical round hole. interests against whom they compete. The tive property combined with the problem Libertarians and environmentalists average environmentalist cares deeply for of non-specific pollution can stymie free- need to recognize two things: their unique Yellowstone, yet he also cares for the Chesa- marketeers. If one person owns a bird popu- perspectives on the way the world works, peake fishing grounds, the forests of the lation, and others use pesticides lethal to and their common opponent in govern- Pacific Northwest, and dozens of other birds, owners have no idea whom to sue ment. Both sides would undoubtedly find places and issues. The Oregon logger, on when their birds die from eating fruit. such a partnership quite profitable. the other hand, cares mostly for his job. Environmentalists understand these Consequently, Oregon loggers find it much problems, and look to regulation to solve Mr. Gupta is a senior majoring easier to organize and lobby, whereas envi- them: if factories cannot emit sulfur diox- in Economics and Philosophy. ronmental groups must contend with a vast ide, then there can be no acid rain, and if no array of people, all with different concerns one can use pesticides and whose livelihood does not depend on that kill birds, then no Yellowstone’s ecological integrity. one need own the birds at all. These are poor Market Follies solutions, prone to in- Both environmentalists and free efficiency and corrup- marketeers have much to learn. While bad tion, but solutions to science characterizes the environmental which the laissez-faire left’s more outlandish claims, genuine con- capitalist can offer no cerns about proper use, responsible stew- easy alternative. But, ardship, and situations where the tort sys- as in so many other tem might not deal adequately with pollu- cases, efforts at com- tion are often dismissed handily by the promise prematurely laissez-faire set. For example, non-spe- fall flat. A regulation cific source pollution, a problem in the introducing tracing el- Northeast wherein wind patterns carry sul- ements in pesticides fur dioxide from the Rust Belt into the would not diminish forests of Vermont and Maine, poses huge the incentive to inno- enforcement costs to a prospective private vate, nor would it vio- owner of those forests. Holding all of the late any rights liber- Rust Belt factories accountable only pro- tarians ascribe to the vides an incentive for each factory to take individual. But rather a free ride off of its competitors’ attempts than consider such to innovate technologies which might re- options, libertarians duce sulfur dioxide emissions. The result is and environmentalists acid rain over some of the Northeast’s most prefer to question each beautiful landscapes, certainly a measur- other’s honesty, mo- able harm to the property by mainstream tives, and character.

20 THE PRIMARY SOURCE, AUGUST 27, 1997 Tufts has a race-relations problem? which generates an editorial response. Someone takes umbrage and writes a let- And beware of that falling sky. ter, offending someone else who writes a “Viewpoint.” Repeat three times and you get the idea. Through the medium of The Straight Talk Daily, that very small group of politically- active students ignite firestorms of contro- versy. Last year Dining Services removed on Race veal from its menus largely in answer to a “Viewpoints” page campaign launched by by Colin Kingsbury confirmed radical animal-rights activist Jaime Roth. That the anti-veal crowd num- he next time you eat in Carmichael or pus of only four thousand students, a small bered at best in the dozens mattered even TDewick, look around and remember handful of students can easily raise a whole less than the fact that most students en- what you see. Tufts students today drag lot of hell. Conventional wisdom blames joyed eating veal. When the debate shifts with them less of the baggage of racism the preponderance of high levels of apathy from cows to race, however, the cost of than ever before, as the early days of Orien- among undergraduates, but don’t confuse such special-interest politicking rises dra- tation illustrate: one typically notices stu- student apathy with students simply not matically. If three students can run veal out dents of all races and backgrounds min- caring. Most Tuftonians correctly realize of Dewick, a half-dozen can create a race gling freely. Yet if the experience of recent that at least in the short run, they can relations problem. years repeats itself, this very real and sin- exempt themselves from the innumerable Lesson Four: Get ‘Em While They’re cere manifestation of diversity will last no silly debates that sweep the campus like Young. Orientation is the ideal time for longer than the average fraternity base- summer thundershowers and still graduate Tufts to impose its idea of utopia on the ment-party romance. As a new student, it with a decent education. This leaves only a student body. Some of the rhetoric reveals behooves you to examine this phenomenon relatively small, hard-line group of stu- itself immediately, but the full effect of not just in the hope of avoiding past mis- dents to set the tone for everybody, and certain programs— particularly those in- takes, but also because it forms an excellent more often than not these partisans speak volving minority students— comes much crash course in Tufts’s internal politics. for none but themselves. later. Particularly worthy of mention, and Lesson One: If I Am, Then So Are Lesson Three: Don’t Believe Every- of warning, are the social functions the You. The academic left accuses its enemies thing You Read in The Tufts Daily. The cultural centers run solely for students of a of portraying issues in dimensionless black- outside world relegates solitary misfits and specified race or ethnicity. While encour- and-white terms, yet it all too often engages malcontents to street corners, whereas The aging students to mingle primarily within a in this very activity. While incidents of Daily gladly prints any Jumbo grudge- racially homogeneous group certainly eases racism do occasionally occur on campus, holder’s rage-induced ranting on the “View- the difficult process of building social the infrequent and universally-reproved points” page. Typically the cycle begins activities of isolated individuals constitute with a small and insignificant news item Continued on the next page. no more of a race problem than the lighting of a cherry bomb during the construction of the Hillel Center several years ago hints at a terrorist problem. But the demagogue-or- be-demagogued world of contemporary academe will demonize you as a racist, blackballing your career aspirations, if you dare suggest that anything short of immi- nent race war exists here. Some Jumbos find it impossible to admit trifling prob- lems without simultaneously demanding a campaign of carpet bombing in response. In the sometimes hilarious, often tragic, and always silly game of university poli- tics, such distinctions hold no value. De- fending the status quo at an institution which spends much of its time deconstructing itself offers scant respite for apolitical profs concerned largely with studying microbes. Lesson Two: The Squeaky Wheel Gets the Grease. On a tiny suburban cam- Capen House, the “African-American” racial enclave at Tufts.

THE PRIMARY SOURCE, AUGUST 27, 1997 21 then creates even more news, editorials, mills set up by administrators and faculty Continued from the previous page. and of course, “Viewpoints.” all too willing to conjure fashionable prob- Every once in a while, some issue evokes lems demanding the involvement of dy- connections, it also discourages reaching such a high level of passion that it becomes namic and revolutionary individuals to beyond such a narrow group. Left on the institutionalized by the creation of a com- solve. In this context one instantly realizes sidelines in all of this, white students find mittee. The political pyramid peaks here, that the race debate is just another political themselves drawing friends from a pool where such committees work with slug-like tussle which allows interested power-seek- that by default consists almost entirely of speed while consuming the time and energy ers to pose attractively for the next faculty other Caucasians. of a vast number of people, all to deliver meeting or graduate school application. recommendations which in- The Final Lesson: Choose Your variably endorse more of the Friends Wisely. During the early days of The new Task Force on Race same approach. This cycle your four years at Tufts, you can expect occurred last year when a many groups and people to extend their institutionalizes the view that a cabal of students and faculty hands to you, not just to help you but to help pervasive “institutional racism” succeeded in cajoling the Uni- them. Often the most pernicious causes versity into instituting a “Task work from behind innocuous faces, and divides the campus. Force on Race.” assess the agenda of any group or indi- Call it a committee with- vidual who asks you to sign a membership out a point. One of the Task form or attend some event. Groups which Rendering the self-segregation process Force’s three preliminary recommendations claim most loudly to act in someone’s best complete, Tufts’s culture houses offer mi- called for the creation of a standing commit- interest usually advance only their own. nority students the opportunity to live in tee of faculty and students to investigate Remember that the most brutal nations of racially homogeneous settings. Just wait incidents of racial bias and hatred on cam- our century prefaced their names with until the upperclassmen return, then look pus. This approach institutionalizes the view “People’s Republic.” around the dining hall again to see for that a pervasive “institutional racism” di- Give yourself a little credit for your yourself the wonderful success of these vides the campus, yet not a single event of good judgment— it got you here, after heavily-supported programs. As goes racism in the past year here involved any- all— but accept that it takes at least a year Dewick, so goes the campus, and this is thing more than the deplorable actions of or two before things around Walnut Hill hardly the first publication to point to dining one or a few unenlightened students. Such start making sense. Spend your time wisely: halls as an example of the level of voluntary matters fall completely within the scope of four years seems like a long time today, but separation on campus. Many years of re- the University’s extant disciplinary appara- the time flies by with blinding speed. And peated experience indicate that this separa- tus and require no unique adjudicating body. if you must delve into campus politics, be tion comes not as a result of racial spite, but Lesson Six: It’s Not The Facts, sure to consider Tufts’s own journal of because of University policy. Ma’am. Combine academic social climb- conservative thought. Lesson Five: If It Ain’t Broke, Break ers with resentful students eager to tear the It. A few minority students blame amor- walls down and you get a recipe for disas- Mr. Kingsbury is a senior phous and devious forces including “insti- ter. Campus politics consist largely of ego- majoring in Economics. tutional racism” for their less-than-per- tistical and angry individuals tilting at wind- fect integration experience instead of ques- tioning the validity of Tufts’s policy. Un- derstandably, minority students may not recognize that their difficulty in making contact with the white student body de- rives not from a racial animus but from unnatural socialization patterns caused by University policy. This confusion breeds resentment towards a system which claims the moral high ground but in fact appears unconcerned with the real evils in its midst. Such student sentiments find many a sympathetic ear among administrators and faculty hungry to make a name for themselves as crusaders against racism. Nursed sufficiently, these grudges lead inevitably to either anti-social behavior or writing “Viewpoints” for the Daily. This outcome in turn creates a controversy usu- ally taken up by the TCU Senate, which

22 THE PRIMARY SOURCE, AUGUST 27, 1997 ABSOLUTE TRUTH

THE PRIMARY SOURCE, AUGUST 27, 1997 23 THE PRIMARY SOURCE NON-PROFIT ORG. Mayer Campus Center U.S. POSTAGE PAID Tufts University BOSTON, MA Medford, MA 02155 PERMIT NO. 56885

NOTABLE AND QUOTABLE Welcome to our first issue of Men Centered! … Politics is almost as exciting as war, and quite Experience teaches you to recognize a mistake We hope to provide a forum for any man on as dangerous. In war you can only be killed when you’ve made it again. campus to say anything that he wants without once, but in politics many times. —Unknown worrying about whether it is “popular” or —Winston Churchill “grammatically correct.” I know a man who gave up smoking, drinking, —THE P RIMARY S OURCE, parody, March A neoconservative is a liberal who has been sex, and rich food. He was healthy right up to 13, 1997 mugged by reality. the time he killed himself. —Irving Kristol —Johnny Carson Welcome to the very first edition of Bound/ Unbound…. Bound/Unbound was created… to I did very poorly on the SAT and even worse on The gap between us and our opponents is a provide a forum for Tufts women to express the GREs, and I am a professor of Women’s cultural divide. It is not just a difference between themselves…. Though some pieces may appear Studies! conservative and liberal; it is a difference grammatically “incorrect,” I felt it was —Prof. Ronnie Steinberg of Temple between fighting for what is right and refusing important to publish these works uncensored…. University, explaining why patriarchal tests to see what is wrong. —Bound/Unbound, April 1997 are useless for measuring women’s intelligence —Dan Quayle

The nine most terrifying words in the English I should sooner live in a society governed by the Finding the occasional straw of truth awash in language are, “I’m from the government, and first two thousand names in the Boston telephone a great ocean of confusion and bamboozle I’m here to help.” directory than one governed by the two thousand requires intelligence, vigilance, dedication and —Ronald Reagan faculty members of . courage. But if we don’t practice these tough —William F. Buckley, Jr. habits of thought, we cannot hope to solve the Let us, then, not blunt the noble impulses of truly serious problems that face us— and we mankind by reducing charity to a mechanical I do not suggest that you should not have an risk becoming a nation of suckers, up for grabs operation of the federal government. open mind, particularly as you approach by the next charlatan who comes along. —Barry Goldwater college. But don’t keep your mind so open that —Carl Sagan your brains fall out. Good writing and an obsession with politics —William J. Bennett Too often, American educators are like the are, in my view, nearly always mutually Wizard of Oz, handing out substitutes for brains, exclusive. The real destroyer of the liberties of the people bravery, and heart. —Paul Johnson is he who spreads among them bounties, —Thomas Sowell donations, and benefits. If you ask me to name the proudest distinction —Plutarch The trouble with unemployment is that the of Americans, I would choose— because it minute you wake up in the morning you’re on contains all the others— the fact that they were Suppose you were an idiot, and suppose you the job. the people who created the phrase “to make were a member of Congress. But I repeat myself. —Slappy White money.” No other language or nation has ever —Mark Twain used these words before; men had always I am a marvelous housekeeper. Every time I thought of wealth as a static quality— to be You have to take LSD. Until you’ve dropped leave a man I keep his house. seized, begged, inherited, shared, looted, or acid, you don’t know what socialism is. —Zsa Zsa Gabor obtained as a favor. Americans were the first to —David Horowitz understand that wealth has to be created. IRS HUMOR EXAMPLE A: A lawyer, a doctor, —Ayn Rand To understand your government, don’t begin and a priest were marooned on a desert island. by reading the Constitution. It conveys precious So we confiscated their homes. Common sense is the collection of prejudices little of the flavor of today’s statecraft. Instead, IRS HUMOR EXAMPLE B: What do you get acquired by age eighteen. read selected portions of the Washington when you cross Zsa Zsa Gabor with a kangaroo? —Albert Einstein telephone directory containing listings for all I don’t know, but let’s confiscate it’s home. the organizations with titles beginning with the —Dave Barry It costs more to maintain ten vices than one word “National.” virtue. —George Will It is not enough to succeed. Others must fail. —H.L. Mencken —Gore Vidal How much money did you make last year? Mail In most of mankind, gratitude is merely a secret it in. How do you explain school to a higher hope for greater favors. —Simplified tax suggestion by intelligence? —Duc De La Rochefoucauld Stanton Delaplane —Elliot, ET