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Loving Boys I 1 Loving Boys is the first they play in their boys’ lives, the sexuality of multidisciplinary, cross-cultural study of boys, and how boys in paedophile sexual relations between men and boys ever relationships perceive the friendships and sex to be published in the English language. The they share with their older friends. Volume author eschews both the common Judeo- Two will take up the aspects of man-boy love Christian belief that man-boy contacts are which cause rational concern, sexual morally wrong and the traditional psychiatric oppression vs. liberation, and finally what premise (never honestly tested) that they are takes place during sexual contacts between unnatural, perverted and harmful for boys. men and boys. Instead, he examines ethnological, historical, behavioural and cultural records to show what other peoples (and our own ancestors) thought Dr. Edward Brongersma is one of about this phenomenon at different times: Holland’s most distinguished jurists. In 1946 how their societies rejected it or put it to work he became a member of the Dutch Upper in a constructive way. He cites nearly 200 House of Parliament, or Senate. Four years examples of man-boy sexual behaviour taken later he was arrested for having sexual contact from published sources and private with a 16-year-old boy – under an archaic law correspondence in English, German, French, which he helped repeal in 1971. After release Dutch, Italian, Spanish, and the Scandinavian from 10 months in prison, he rebuilt his languages. All of this allows him to expose to shattered law career and returned to the the clear light of reason contemporary Senate in 1963, where he was chairman of the arguments against allowing men and boys to important Judiciary Committee from 1968 love each other sexually. until his retirement in 1977. The Queen This first volume covers how boy- knighted him into the Order of the Dutch Lion lovers think of the boys they love, the roles in 1975. 2 3 Printed by Krips Repro Meppel, Netherlands Global Academic Publishers 80-50 Baxter Ave. Suite 500 Elmhurst, NY 11373 U.S.A. The passage from Dennis Kelly’s Size Queen on page 158 is quoted by kind permission of Gay Sunshine Press. The passage from Iris Murdoch’s The Nice and the Good on pages 206 and 207 is quoted by kind permission of Penguin Books, Ltd. Copyright Edward Brongersma 1986 Except for brief passages quoted in a newspaper, magazine, radio, or television review, no part of this book may be reproduced in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying and recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the publisher. First edition published December, 1986. Cloth-bound library edition: ISBN 1-55741-000-3 Soft-cover student edition: ISBN 1-55741-001-1 4 Contents of Volume 1. INTRODUCTION / 8 AUTHOR'S PREFACE / 10 Chapter One / 14 Different Aspects of Sex / 15 Sex for Procreation (15) Sex as Expression of an Emotion (18) Sex Just for Pleasure (20) Sex in Surrender to the Forces of Nature (22) The Aspects of Sex in Relation to Children / 24 Sex for Procreation (24) Sex as Expression of Love (25) Sex Just for Pleasure (26) Sex in Surrender to the Forces of Nature (30) Summary / 31 Chapter Two / 32 Sexual Variety in Men / 32 Anatomical: The Organs (32) Physiological: Function of the Organs (32) Psychological: Attraction (33) The Importance of the Partner's Sex (34) The Importance of the Partner's Age (40) Attraction to Children / 43 A Common Phenomenon (43) The Different Forms of Child-Love (44) Man/Girl (45) Woman/Girl (46) 5 Woman/Boy (47) Man/Boy (51) Man/Boy Relationships / 52 Boy-Love and Pseudo Boy-Love (52) Boy-Love and People with Different Orientations (57) History and Ethnology of Boy-Love (60) Ancient Greece and Rome (60) Western Europe and America (64) The Arabs (66) India (66) China and Japan (67) The So-Called Primitives (67) Boy-Lovers in Relation to Women (70) Variety in Age Preferences (72) Small Children (72) The Prepubertal and the Mature (73) The Importance of Puberty (74) Hair Growth (77) Lasting Friendships and Casual Meetings (78) Absence of Reliable Research (79) Personality Traits of Boy-Lovers (84) Old Age (85) Attraction of Social Opposites (86) Questions for Research (86) Importance of the Partner's Pleasure (87) Origins of Boy-Love (89) The Number of Boy-Lovers (91) Chapter Three / 94 Physical Maturity / 95 Growth of Genitals (95) Ejaculation (98) Psychosexual Development / 100 Elements of Cognition (100) Importance of Puberty (104) The Experience of Maturation / 105 Penis Size (105) Erections (113) Ejaculations and Wet Dreams (115) Orgasm (121) The Bloom of Youth (123) Rites of Initiation / 124 Operations and Blood Offerings (125) Circumcision (127) In Western Society (130) The Beginning of Sexual Relations / 134 6 The Outlets / 137 Masturbation (137) Deterrence (139) Guilt Feelings (142) Fantasies/Methods/Frequencies (145) Beginning (151) Sex With Girls (154) Beginning (155) Disparity Between Boys and Girls of the Same Age (160) Sex With Other Boys (167) The "Homosexual" Phase (167) Special Friendships (177) Fear of Homosexuality (182) Sex With Men: An Impossible Love? (189) The Parents (191) Adult Lovers vs. Peers (194) Willing Boys (197) Bisexual Behaviour (207) The End of the Affair (211) The Boy as Seducer (215) Appendix: Penis Size vs. Age / 224 Bibliography / 225 Contents of Volume Two / 270 About the Author / 272 7 Introduction by Vern L. Bullough ALMOST no subject of scholarly investigation arouses more controversy than the subject of paedophilia, i.e. erotic relations between adults and minors. It almost immediately brings to mind an image of a man with a huge penis trying to shove it into a tiny orifice of a mortally terrified child. Inevitably the frightened child is scarred for life, unable to adjust to a normal sex or family life. Undoubtedly there are some men who literally rape small boys (or girls), and there are children involved in sexual relations with adults who are emotionally if not physically wounded for the rest of their lives. But man/boy-love, at any rate, is a far more complex subject than a simple horror story. It has a long history, and sometimes, as among the ancient Greeks, it was regarded as the highest form of love. More to the point, there are people and organisations today who still regard paedophilia as an ideal form of sexuality, benefiting both the boy and the adult. Obviously such a belief is debatable, but each person has to arrive at his or her own conclusions. Personally I believe a child is not mature enough to make a decision for himself or herself about sex with an adult, and it would be very difficult for many young people to avoid coercion if confronted with such a situation. Still, it is not clear when a young person becomes adult enough to consent to sexual activity. Probably most of us in society feel quite different about two teenagers engaging in sex with each other than we do about an adult involving himself or herself with a teenager ten or twenty years younger. We draw more of a distinction, however, between an adult male having sex or being otherwise involved with a teenage boy than we do with a teenage girl and we are more likely to punish the case of boy-love than girl-love (girls, for example, are commonly allowed sex with other females and can sometimes marry as young as fourteen – boys must wait until 16, 18 or 21 years of age for any legal sex). Some people feel that there should be no distinction between sexual activities involving a boy and sexual activities involving a girl, and it is this inequality of outlook – in other words, discrimination against boys – which this book seeks to change. From experience I know there is a large audience for such a sex book, since there are many people out there who have felt 8 ostracised and cut off form society and have gone underground rather than confront a hostile society. Few of them regard themselves as the vile, dirty, dishonest adults so often portrayed in the popular media. Yet no one seems willing to defend them. Obviously this book speaks for them and to them, but it would be unfortunate if they are the only readers of this book, since there is a real need for all elements in society to know more about the motivations, the drives and the impulses of those who identify themselves or are identified by others as paedophiles. This book attempts to do just this. Its author is a distinguished Dutch lawyer, a retired member of the Dutch Parliament who in 1950 was arrested, tried and convicted for having sex with a 16-year-old boy. He spent 11 months in prison as a result. Unlike many convicted of such activities, he managed to put his life back together on his release, win reinstatement to the bar, re-election to the Dutch Parliament, and in 1975 as a reward for his services, the Queen made him a Knight of the Order of the Dutch Lion. He is, however, still a paedophile and he has spent much of his life in writing about and researching the subject. The final result of his scholarship is this book. It is what might be called a lawyer’s brief. It is not a dispassionate look at both sides of the case, but instead the brief of a committed advocate trying to establish his cause. Negatives are recognized, but dealt with. Definitions are closely drawn such as the difference between pseudo paedophiles and true paedophiles, the first turning to youth when there is no other alternative, the second truly interested in boys and not necessarily for sexual purposes.
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