When Ministers Leave

Volume XLI, Issue 28, March 26, 2014 www.hillschurch.org WHEN MINISTERS LEAVE The Hills Church is always moving. Church life is a river of the faithful: families holding babies and toddlers being baptized, and kids running around at community hour, and teenagers getting confirmed smiling at each other, brides and grooms sharing hopes, and if you look again there are always families hovering together, mourning the loss of a beloved member. Ministers are pastors and teachers, called to share lives, relying on God’s grace. As we experience church life we often remember special marker moments as well as the special ministers in our lives. In church we hear these personal memories all the time: I was married by Jack Wallace… Craig Adams officiated at my father’s funeral… I came when Matt was here…when I needed him, Pash just showed up at the ER… it was Judy’s visit and prayer that assured us that we were not alone in our time of struggle...Karin’s ministry has allowed us to discuss issues we had overlooked...it was important to have my son/daughter confirmed by Jim. This week Jim Brommers Bergquist ends his ministry at the Hills Church, and heads to Orinda, CA to answer his call to be Senior Minister there. As happy as we may be for Jim and the opportunity this new call represents, many of us are sad that Jim and Ingrid, Harper and Ellis are leaving. Saying goodbye is hard. Jim’s ministry has reached the hearts of many, opening up powerful experiences of faith in community. Whether preaching, unloading pumpkins or roofing houses in Belize, Jim has shown many of us a love for God and church. When a minister leaves, his or her departure may evoke other changes in our lives. Sometimes change in church feels a lot like loss in families. Many of us go through life with a file drawer filled with loss. Perhaps a friend or family member died suddenly; perhaps a childhood move left a good friend behind. Saying goodbye often echoes previous loss: an end of a marriage, job loss, or children growing up and moving on. Recognizing these echoes, and asking for God’s grace, can help heal us. One of the ways a church can model resilience is for us to acknowledge that life is filled with both joy and sorrow, and we can find God in both. As hard as we may try to keep sorrow out of our portfolio, we do not have control over every factor of our lives. Change is inevitable. People will move on or away. Children grow up. The river of life of a congregation moves along. The United Church of Christ professional code of ethics for ministers sets clear guidelines for ministerial transition. A minister is called by a congregation to care for members of a congregation, for a time. When a minister leaves his or her position, both the minister and the congregation must acknowledge the change in the dynamic, for new life to come for both. In the liturgy of farewell, the minister acknowledges the deep relationships of church life, and then accepts the healthy boundary of letting go of pastoral responsibility, and congregation agrees to release the minister. Our job now is to thank Jim from our hearts, for the blessing of his ministry. The Ministers A GRATEFUL GOODBYE FROM JIM BROMMERS BERGQUIST As I sit to write my farewell Day By Day article, part of me feels like there is very little left to say. Yet there is another part that feels like I’ll never have enough time or space to say all that I want or need to. In my resignation letter to the congregation, and in a separate letter to families and youth, I tried to explain the various pieces that opened me to accept the Sr. Minister position at the Orinda Community Church. In subsequent gatherings, and in my exit interview with an enlarged Pastor/Parish committee, I’ve attempted to clarify any points, and answer any questions that have come up. Ultimately, it comes down to the fact that I felt ready for a new challenge; and with all the transitions going on at the Hills Church, it seemed that it would be best for me to explore that possibility in a new location. As I’ve said good-byes these last weeks, I’ve realized again and again how many wonderful people there are in this church, and how much potential resides in this congregation. I have frequently been reminded of the power of relationship, as I’ve had time to reflect on how I have been changed as a person because of so many of you. And it’s meant a great deal to hear that I’ve had an impact on some of your lives as well. I am proud of the many initiatives we have started together over the last seven years, and I hope that many will stay part of the fabric of the Hills Church. Some will run their course, others will continue to flourish, and other new ideas will spring up from church members and a changing clergy and staff. My biggest hope is that the energy and momentum continues to grow, that people of all ages make an effort to get to know the children and youth of our church, and that there is a continued emphasis on finding ways to build community, and avenues for service, in the life of the Hills Church. This Sunday will be my last as minister to the Hills Church, and I leave full of many emotions. What I will hold on to is gratitude: for the people I’ve had a chance to work with over these years, for ways you’ve let me minister with you, for times of authenticity and realness, for laughter and creativity, for egg hunts, retreats, and service trips, for children and youth, for parents, for people who took a risk and taught Church School, or mentored Confirmands, and for the many memories and friendships I take with me. On behalf of me and my family, I offer my deepest thanks. Jim 2 SURPRISES IN THE PAST She’s fair and petite, never was more than five feet tall. Her apartment at North Hill overlooking woods is full of lovely things…beautiful needlepoint and exquisite figures of angels and the Nativity, which she keeps out all year. She explains how she made them, starting with a cardboard form, then molding features and shapes using fabric soaked in paste, which, when dried, were sprayed with specially formulated gold paint. As a homemaker she lived more than fifty years in Wellesley where she raised her two daughters. She was active in the Women’s Association, loved doing the luncheons and dinners. A typical Wellesley lady? Well, maybe, but there are some surprises in her past. “I wasn’t like other girls. I liked walking in the rain rather than in the sun. I liked frogs and toads and wiggly things,” she explained, pointing to her frog collection. Helen Collyer grew up in New Jersey and entered Teachers College in Hudson, NJ, studying biology. As the term neared its end, arrangements were made to care for the department’s live specimens over the summer. Always willing to do her share, she volunteered to care for a four foot long black snake. Snake-sitting has its challenges, but she was up to the task. She got her grandfather to make a 4 x 6 terrarium that she kept in the house. And, since snakes have to eat, she arranged with a family friend who owned a warehouse, to trap live mice. These she collected and hand fed to her snake. And since she saw her charge as one of God’s creatures, she would pick it up and stroke it, and even admitted talking to it. While thus engaged as a care-giver, she came down with a case of strep. This was before penicillin, so she was quarantined for four months. This meant she had to stay in her house on the second floor the whole time. The snake was on the third floor. Her mother would prepare her meals on a tray, which were taken up by her dad, who also dutifully delivered mice. Once a week, someone from the hospital would come in surgical mask and rubber gloves to draw blood (hers, not the snake’s). She met her future husband, Harry James Collyer, at the Methodist church. He was a recent graduate of Tufts University with a degree in chemical engineering who worked in the area and lived at the YMCA. Once when he came to call, she was in the middle of a care-giving chore, and greeted him with the doorknob in one hand and the snake in the other. Fortunately, he had a sense of humor and a liking for adventure, so the relationship survived. Theirs was a happy marriage. She was always a homemaker – that’s the way he wanted it from the beginning. He loved jokes and kept a large collection of them. He would carry 3 x 5 cards with key joke words so that he could always bring a good laugh to friends and co-workers. Once he was assigned to work abroad, so they lived seven years in lovely Chester, England. During this time, his work also took him to Paris and Milan, where they were provided with apartments, and so she went along. Great sadness came with the loss of her adult daughter from diabetes – and later, the passing of her husband.

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