The WALRUS The time has come, the Walrus said, to talk of many things: Of shoes and ships and sealing wax, of cabbages and kings. - Lewis Carroll

Vol LXIX No. 6 St. Sebastian’s School April 2016 4th Quarter/Final Exam Advice finish the entire school year strong. once exams do arrive and the school By Sam Cullen ‘17 Moving on to a more specific year begins to close, time manage- Spring Break has come and note, the fourth quarter can feel a lot ment is one of the most important gone, and the sun now remains in the more rushed and chaotic than other aspects of finishing the year. Making sky until 7PM. And so, students and quarters. Luckily, our school didn’t a study schedule that balances with faculty throughout St. Sebastian’s have a lot of snow days this year, so all your extracurriculars and athletics have started to ask the annual ques- we aren’t racing against the clock to can be difficult, but if you proportion tion of “Where has the school year make up on missed days, but most your time for studying well, you’ll gone?” Yes, we are now barreling classes do become squeezed for time be just fine sitting for your exam that towards that period of oblivion and at the end of the year. After break, the day. digression known as “summer.” But workload tends to pick up as classes Despite all this advice for before we all become too caught up work to cover all the material with finishing up the year strong, even if in the daydreams of sleep, sunshine time to review for finals, but consis- you don’t end the year on the high and snow-cones, we have to face the tent effort and caution will make the note you were seeking, the best part Mike Calabro’16 addresses admitted students, sharing how St. inevitable “grind” of fourth quar- course load for the fourth quarter a lot about the summer, besides the care- ter and final exams (gasp!). And Sebastian’s has made him a man of “courage, honor and wisdom.” less hectic. And when you inevitably free lifestyle, amazing weather, and for those of you new to this school feel overwhelmed with work, think leisure activities, is that you know community, or those of you who about the three-month long rest period there will be another year to start Admitted Students Night have forgotten what it feels like to do following this mere 2-month long fresh and rebound. With the excep- homework while the sun is still out, quarter, and everything will eventually tion of the seniors, who are literally By David Korzeniowski ‘16 captain of the Harvard Crimson ten- take note. work out. taking their final exams in early nis team. In addition, a current parent Now, don’t get me wrong, SENIOR EDITOR Despite the difficulties of April, the vast majority of students Mrs. McKenzie spoke about St. the coming spring weather is amaz- the academic year, I can’t emphasize here will be back next year, along Recently at St. Sebastians Sebastian’s from her point of view. ing and quite literally a miracle in enough the approach of the daunt- with another new grade of students. was an event all current students All four speeches were fantastic. I comparison to the dark days of win- ing final exams. Yes, they are long, So, don’t lose your sanity when it remember well: Admitted Students have no doubt that countless students ter, but the sun can also be an issue difficult and panic-worthy. But finals comes to exams, either. With the Night. I’m sure each and every one and parents in the audience were sold when it comes to academics. It is in- are doable, in fact, every student at St. enormous resources and help avail- of us can remember at least bits and by what the speakers had to say. To credibly easy to tell yourself that you Sebastian’s student has to get through able at our school from teacher to pieces from both this event and the put icing on the cake, the best public need to “take advantage of the warm finals, so if you personally can’t stand advisors to all your helpful peers, ev- open house. For prospective students, speaker in history, Mr. Burke, deliv- weather” after winter, and then go finals, at least that pain will enjoy erything will work out fine so long as these are a couple of major ways that ered his speech to end the night. He outside for a while at the end of the company. In all seriousness, final you put in at least some effort to help they and their parents can get a taste ensured that every student that came day. Still, while fresh air and relax- exams are not that awful, with a little yourself. But seeing that you have of St. Sebastian’s. As always, this to St. Sebastian’s would be known ation are essential to everyone’s well- practice and review, final exams are made it this far in the school-year, I year’s Admitted Students Night failed and loved. As a senior who heard the being, don’t let this influence you as actually quite easy. Unlike most other highly doubt anybody at our school to disappoint. same thing from him six years ago, I a student. The sun and warm weather tests, you’ve already prepared and doesn’t want to put in the effort to After the sea of small, blue- can assure you that he was not lying. aren’t going anywhere any time soon, been tested on all the material in final succeed. So, in effect, congrats! You blazered kids and their parents made Many of these admitted so don’t let the weather inadvertently exams. In fact, you already know will eventually make it through the their way into the church, our Assis- students have also been touring the become an excuse from academic all the problems on exam. In reality, fourth quarter and final exams. And tant Headmaster Mr. Nerbonne wel- school the past couple weeks. They work. Now, while you might say that final exams are more about “mind if all else fails, you can count on the comed the students and their families, follow around kids in the grade that this is obvious, I can tell you that it is organization” and review prepara- fact that from June to September, and Father Arens led the group in they’re entering to get a taste for the easy to lose academic focus as both tion than learning. And while I know you’ll have time to sit by the pool or prayer. Next, one of our most talented school and the community. A lot of the social and physical environment most of you won’t follow this advice, beach and do whatever you choose singers, Will Evans ‘17, sang a won- these kids know that they’re coming begins to turn towards the summer. due to the far-off nature of finals, a (within legal limits), or you could derful song the help of Mr. Grohman. to St. Sebastian’s, but some don’t as But this quarter is the last quarter, slow trickling of review well before explore your individual passions and Then came the speeches. I still of yet. So, if you see any new kids it is the only thing you can control the exam will go a long way towards further your individual potentials. remember the speeches that I heard at touring the school, be sure to engage and the only thing that matters at this reducing your stress, and improving But honestly, in the middle of July, both the Open House and Admitted with them. Ask them where they’re point, so it’s incredibly important to your scores, at the end of May. Now, either option is acceptable. Students Night. For most prospective from, what sports they play, etc. I can students and families, this the part assure you that this will only help of the night that impresses them the their view of the school. most. To hear praise of St. Sebas- Overall, admitted stu- tian’s from current students as well as dents night was a huge success, alumni makes the greatness of Sebs for St. Sebastian’s once again real for them. This year’s speakers impressed. Thank you to all the were Gabriel Twohig ‘21 and Mike students and teachers who made Calabro ‘16. The alumnus that spoke this night rewarding for our visi- tors on campus. was Connor Haughey ‘12, current Certamen Night En- tertains, As Always By Rafael Twohig ‘19 round had 20 normal questions for The end of the year is fast approaching, but that doesn’t mean it’s time to slack off. Get ready to grind, each match. Alongside each of these st build a fort of books like this kid, crush it during exam week, and earn your summer vacation. On Thursday March 31 , Latin stu- set questions were two bonus ques- dents in grades 9-12 participated in tions a team would earn if they gave the competitive and fun Certamen the correct answer to the set ques- night. Leading up to the trivia of tion. The competing student who Senior Service Starting Up Certamen night, the competitors were simultaneously slapped his hand on treated to snacks. After eating, each his desk while raising his hand was a great opportunity for St. Sebastian’s students from every grade visits the team was directed to the room where allowed the chance to give the correct By John McManmon ‘16 seniors to put a great cap on their Pine Street Inn, the largest homeless they would compete in the prelimi- answer to the asked question. Hav- HEAD WRITER education before they head off to shelter in Boston. Arrows and their nary trivia round to earn a spot in the ing personally completed this round, college. Another rewarding part of parents help the cooks at the Inn and lower or upper division finals. This I can say it was intense through- out. Eventually, when the “playoffs” This spring, the seniors will the program is the discussion groups. prepared vegetables for meals for year both the lower and upper divi- wrapped up, the winning teams in finish up their non-AP classes and Every Friday morning, a group of the homeless. In high school, Sebs sion groups were packed with serious the upper and lower division headed begin their service placements. St. seniors will meet before the school students get to participate in even heavy hitters. Orvin Pierre, Nate Ko- to Ward Hall for the finals. The final Sebastian’s provides this amazing op- day to discuss their service place- cho and Connor Bertsch (just to name more service opportunities. Trips was significantly different than the portunity to the seniors to spend the ments, what they have learned, and to the Paulist Center are a hallmark a few) were set to let Certamen night know their special Latin skills. In the earlier round. Consisting of a straight end of their career as Arrows helping reflect on their time volunteering. of junior year. Every weekend, Mr. series of forty questions and legit upper division, Andrew Elcock sought others and making a difference in This provides a chance for seniors Eaton will take a group of juniors to devices to buzz in for a question, the to become the Sonny Huang of Certa- their community. to gain a different perspective on the the Paulist Center, a homeless shelter, second round was built for an adren- men night. Though there are certainly The program is run by program, as well as learn about what and assist the staff there. One of the aline-inducing matchup. Unsurpris- Mr. Eaton, who organizes and helps their fellow Arrows are doing daily at most popular volunteer events is the other excellent Latin scholars in the ingly, this round did not disappoint us reach out to different schools, their placements. field day hosted by St. Sebastian’s for upper division like Paul Keady, Greg and produced a sometimes hilarious, hospitals, or nursing homes that have This service project is a cul- Pope John Paul II Catholic Academy, Dematteo and Jimmy Ryan, only their occasionally rowdy competition that had Sebs students volunteer there for mination of hundreds of hours spent an elementary and middle school combined might could face up to the ended with a team consisting of Will the past few years. The best aspect by St. Sebastian’s seniors throughout in Dorchester. Students from all superhuman Andrew Elcock. With Evans, Stewart Smith and Andrew about the program is that you have their time at the school. The value grades help run events like dodgeball, these students (the lower division Elcock winning the upper division. your choice of programs to serve at. of service was instilled early on soccer, and capture the flag early in composed of Latin I and II students, Owen Mrtin, ConnorBertsch, Jack You can, for example, work at a VA in our middle school years. Trips the summer. These volunteer op- and the upper division of Latin III, Dumouchel, and Ryan Mullen tri- hospital if you feel strongly about to volunteer at Cradles to Crayons portunities culminate in our specific, IV, and V discipuli) prepared to make umphed in the lower division. While serving veterans, a nursing home if provides middle school students a dedicated placements as seniors. their mark, the first round was set to Certamen night presented a chance you want to take care of the elderly, great opportunity to donate sup- The Senior Service program begin. for students to display their many or an elementary school if you enjoy plies to disadvantaged children. The will surely be a great way to end our Both the upper and lower skills in a relatively relaxed manner, working with children. Having days Chop-a-thon at the Pine Street Inn is career as Arrows and to serve our division had six teams. In each divi- one must not forget the huge effort by where you spend time learning both also another popular service oppor- communities. sion, there would be three matches the students to make this Certamen in and out of the classroom provides tunity. Every year, a large group of between two teams. This earlier night something to remember. NEWS SPORTS

Editors Say Goodbye (Bring Does Not Appear in Photo: UConn women v. Sebs? Tissues) Classics Day Chariot Race Page 4 Page 3

Page 2 THE WALRUS April 2016 What is the Class of 2016’s Legacy? Jake Loughborough ‘16 and close to the speaker for it to work. was working. QUOTES of Back in sophomore year, a group of Finally, I believe that the Brendan Lutch ‘16 2016ers decided to play music on a Class of 2016 will be remembered FEATURE WRITERS bluetooth speaker while Mr. Thomasy for constantly being underestimated. As senior exams com- played a history movie for the class. People in the school community mence, and the time that the Class This happened a few times, with often set low expectations for us in of 2016 spends on campus slowly the speaker hidden in backpacks, a wide variety of situations. A lot of the MONTH bookshelves, and even Mr. T’s infa- people talk about how we’re not an dwindles, many people are wonder- ing what those sixty-two boys will mous podium. This innocuous prank athletic grade, but the sports teams at leave behind. What will they be re- provided many with laughs, and even this school have performed very well “Extreme Unction: literally, membered for? Will the future arrows Mr. Thomasy might look back at it under the leadership of 2016. Many look upon them favorably? and laugh as well. people have heard horror stories of To answer this question, one Another well-known prank misbehaving classes we’ve had such ‘the final oiling.’” must first consider all the important that was pulled in the era of 2016 as Mr. Shea’s seventh grade reli- moments in St. Sebastian’s history was the brain-child not of any of the gion, where the three-strike system that this senior class has had a hand students in the current senior class, became broken to the point that it -Mr. Ferguson in. Most notably, one must think of but rather a former faculty member was renamed the nine-strike system. the ski team’s unprecedented three- by the name of Ms. Byrne. Every- Or Mr. Jenkins’ eighth grade English peat behind the leadership of captains body knows that the school day can class. I’m not 100% sure what hap- Jack Brugger and Matt Aisenberg. No be long and tiring, especially if you pened in there, but I do know that team in Sebs history except for the failed to get enough sleep the night he left the school the very next year. “Sully, I wouldn’t mind you ski team has ever won three consecu- before. Nobody knew that better I don’t blame the people who infer tive NEPSAC championships, and than Brendan Lutch on the last day from these tales that we’re a rowdy these two seniors received varsity of school before Christmas break class, but that’s simply not the case. kidnapping me.” letters for each one of these title freshman year. Fatigued by his busy The Class of 2016 is a grade filled years. Basically, Matt Aisenberg and schedule, and perhaps ready to start with very bright kids, many of whom -Chris Potvin ‘16 Jack Brugger have brought more to vacation a little early, Brendan gave enjoy joking around. This attitude has St. Sebastian’s athletically than the into his fatigue during his last-period caused tension and friction with some Tampa Bay Lightning’s Brian Boyle, Biology class and fell asleep. Notic- of the teachers at our school, but who was a part of a regime, led by ing this, Ms. Byrne hatched an idea: it’s also created many laughs, and a Mr. Didge, that won back to back rather than punishing the sleeping classroom environment that students “I read picture books up until New England titles. student, she decided to prank him. look forward to entering. I believe Thinking beyond the realm She instructed the entire class to qui- that people will look back on the of sports, the Class of 2016 will etly leave the room and she shut the Class of 2016 and realize that they 7th grade, no joke.” likely be remembered for pranks lights off. Unlike the other students didn’t give them enough credit. and practical jokes played on other in the class, she stayed in the room As we say goodbye to the members of the school community. and waited for him to wake up. When Class of 2016, we say goodbye to -Paul Keady ‘16 The most notable series was pulled he did, he was led to believe that the kids who gave Mr. Moore the off by this year’s seniors was what he’d been sleeping for much longer nickname “Big Daddy Moore.” We people call the “Thomasy Bluetooth than he actually had because Ms. say goodbye to the kids who brought Prank.” Most people are familiar with Byrne told him that he’d missed the home a surprising amount of trophies the concept of a bluetooth speaker: Christmas Carol assembly. This joke for academic contests such as the “I was shocked at how you at- you can play music on it without any was ruined, however, when Brendan Brain Bee. We say goodbye to a class plugs, so you don’t need to be very spotted a classmate of his looking that did its best to help the school tributed your shortcomings into the window to see if the prank community grow and prosper. to your inability to read.” -Mr. Lynch to Matt Eldridge ‘16

Untitled, Unmastered: A Review of Kendrick’s Spring is finally here, and along with spring comes The Masters, and The Masters means Ale- Surprise Album jandro Soto’16 won’t be in school for the week. By the way, doesn’t Paul look perfect on page 3? By Miguel Espinosa ‘16 | 09.06.2014” were performed on the The Colbert Report or Tonight Show HEAD WRITER Top Ten Things About Spring prior to the album’s release. really enjoy it, but you need to stop ticular event always flies under the His style is never flashy; From the beginning, Kend- By Patrick Dufour ‘18 lying to yourself. There is not a more radar, but it really is a must watch. whenever he performs on stage or rick prophetically warns against the welcomed trait of spring than no Nothing’s better than watching the One of the greatest seasons releases a music video, Kendrick self-destruction of mankind in “un- snow. Yes, spring technically already most talented players get drafted of the year, spring encompasses all Lamar always dresses simply. In my titled 01 | 09.18.2014”. He explores began before our last snowstorm, but by the Jaguars. Seriously, once in that the typical St. Sebastian’s student personal experience of following the his balance of stardom and staying everyone knows spring doesn’t start awhile the player may even cry, no has come to love. The warm weather, loyal to his hometown in “untitled till the Masters. Jim Nantz said that not because they were drafted, but rapper, Kendrick usually dons some spring sports, and close end to the 02 | 06.23.2014”. In “untitled 03 | so it must be true. because the Jaguars drafted them. variation of a plain T-shirt, jeans, and school year are all on the minds of 05.28.2013”, Kendrick stirs con- 6. Student Council Elec- This year may be a little bit worse white shoes combination. He under- the St. Sebastian students. Such a troversy by calling out the “white tions- They come once a year and because Dictator Goodell stole the stands that the value of an artist rests popular and exciting season, it was never disappoint. The school wide Patriot’s first round draft pick, but at not in how he presents himself, but man’s” attempts to profit from his ca- difficult to pick only ten things to elections not only embody what it least we get to watch him be booed rather, in the work that he produces. reer. He continues rapping about the love about spring, but that is why means to be an American, but what for two hours. Such modesty characteristic of Ken- clash between his old and new lives they leave these things to the profes- it means to go to Sebs. Our nations 2. The NBA Playoffs: drick best describes his latest album, in “untitled 04 | 08.14.2014”, and he sionals. After careful deliberation future politicians come before us Wow, this is a weird one to have on untitled unmastered. highlights social inequality in “un- I present to you the official Top 10 and attempt to convince us to give here. It feels like just yesterday Kris I think Pitchfork.com best titled 05 | 09.21.2014”. Kendrick then Things to Love About Spring: them our vote. For all we know we Humphries was the franchise player. describes untitled’s release as being urges to people to love themselves 10. Longer days: There is are electing the future President of In the long climb back to the top, the “the complete inverse of Kanye in “untitled 06 | 06.30.2014.” “un- nothing worse than the winter, when the Untied States, and I encourage Celtics are finally relevant again. In West’s recent The Life of Pablo”. titled 07 | 2014-2016” is divided into the sunlight continues to dwindle everyone to take part in this spirited their first real chance in the playoffs, three parts to highlight the emotional down, even at one point going down Unlike TLOP’s heavily anticipated St. Sebastian’s tradition. its going to be interesting to see how roller coaster of his career. Finally, at 4pm. If we wanted to live in release as advertised by Kanye’s twit- 5. The Summer: This may good the new Celtics team is and “untitled 08 | 09.06.2014” discusses Alaska with our future Vice President ter, untitled unmastered was a sur- sound stupid to you, but allow me to how far they can go. With an upcom- Sarah Palin, with only a couple of prise album. After all the buzz made the economic struggle experienced by help explain this one. Most teenagers ing top 4 pick in the draft, things hours of sunlight a day, believe me, by Kanye, it took myself a while many African Americans. Kendrick are constantly looking to the future. can only get better from here. This we very much could. The couple to discover that Kendrick released also acknowledges his own success Therefore, the entire spring you get to spring, be sure to tune in and see if added hours of sunlight each day something of his own. in the track, despite inherent setbacks think about the impending summer. the Celtics can shock the world and makes a big difference, and there is Untitled unmastered is a due to race. Each day gets longer and warmer win a title. so much more time for activities, and compilation of tracks that failed to Untitled unmastered touch- going into the summer. So the ability 1. The Masters: A tradi- outrageous fun. make Kendrick’s 2015 album, To es upon subjects that matters most to track the upcoming summer during tion unlike any other…The Masters 9. Baseball is Back: No, I to Kendrick (his personal life, social the spring is always on the St. Sebas- have come to represent spring. The Pimp a Butterfly. All eight tracks are am not one of those baseball hardos, inequality, etc.). He raps with heart, tian student’s mind. Without a doubt Azaleas in full bloom, surrounded by uniformly named “untitled,” and are who will defend their sacred pastime and because he does so, listening to summer is the best season, and it is lush green grass, Augusta is always followed by a number indicating their at all costs, but I will give it credit the album is definitely worth your no coincidence that the second best an incredible sight. Add in the great- respective order on the album. The where credit is due. There is noth- time. Untitled captures Kendrick at season comes just before it. est players in the world and dramatic date in which the track was produced ing like the Opening Day. One of his rawest. His choice to release it 4. Less Homework: For this finishes, the Masters will never dis- is also included in the name. (For ex- the few events that symbolize the without much anticipation speaks to one, no teacher will agree, but the appoint. Also you cannot forget the ample, the second song in untitled is start of spring, Opening Day is the his dedication towards the album’s school year only gets easier towards beautiful pipes of Jim Nantz, which “untitled 02 | 06.23.2014”). Some of starting line, for what will be a 162 artistic value, and not its monetary the end of the year. Yes, there may always seem to say the right thing at tracks may sound somewhat familiar; game marathon to October. Even to a one. It’s a refreshing contrast when be a tough couple weeks at the end, the right time. While some non-golf- aspects of Kendrick’s memorably non-baseball fan, there is something considering most of the other artists but the workload does steadily de- ers may believe this is a sham for the electric performance at this year’s special about Fenway Park on a in the music industry. While un- crease. That means less time in your number one spot, I ask you to watch Grammys were taken from “untitled warm spring night. Baseball fore- titled unmastered may be simple in bedroom doing homework, and more some clips from this years Masters, 05 | 09.21.2014”. Others such as “un- shadows the good that is to come in its name, the work itself stands out time on the fields and outdoors. and if that doesn’t work, there is the remainder of spring, and of the titled 03 | 05.28.2013” or “untitled 08 among other music. 3. The NFL Draft: This par- something wrong with you. year. 8. Warmer Weather: I think most New Englanders can agree THE WALRUS that at times the cold brutal winter A St. Sebastian’s Publication is too much. Therefore, gradually Senior Editors: Greg DeMatteo’16, Owen Finnegan’16, Paul Keady’16, David being introduced back into a warmer Korzeniowski’16, Jimmy Ryan’16 climate is greatly appreciated. The Apprentice Editors: George, John, Paul, and Ringo, and Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds morning attire for coming to school can change from a winter jacket and Head Writers: Matt Aisenberg’16, Cole Aldrich’16, Miguel Espinosa’16, Matt Karpowicz’16, winter hat to no jacket at all. That is John McManmon’16 less opportunity for you to get your Editors Emeritus: Jack Adams’ ‘15, Edgar Escobar ‘15, Ryan Lee ‘15, Angus O”Rourke ‘15, hat swiped by a particularly sneaky John Ryan ‘15 teacher, who continues to remind you Faculty Advisor: Mr. Dan Drummond not to wear a hat in school. TThehe WalrusWalrus isis thethe officialofficial studentstudent newspapernewspaper ofof St.St. Sebastian’sSebastian’s School.School. TheThe WalWal-- 7. No Snow: Yeah, this may rusrus seeksseeks toto provideprovide newsnews andand entertainmententertainment forfor thethe St.St. Sebastian’sSebastian’s community,community, asas wellwell be repetitive, but this last snow- asas toto provideprovide anan openopen forumforum forfor studentsstudents toto offeroffer opinionsopinions onon issuesissues relatedrelated toto world,world, nana-- storm really got me fired up. Snow tional,tional, andand schoolschool affairs.affairs. TheThe opinionsopinions expressedexpressed hereinherein dodo notnot necessarilynecessarily reflectreflect opinopin-- is the worst, plain and simple. Yeah ionsions ofof thethe facultyfaculty advisorsadvisors oror seniorsenior editorseditors ofof TheThe WalrusWalrus oror ofof St.St. Sebastian’sSebastian’s School.School. Correspondence to The Walrus should be addressed to The Walrus, c/o St. Sebas- I know its fun to tell your friends Correspondence to The Walrus should be addressed to The Walrus, c/o St. Sebas- tian’stian’s School,School, 11911191 GreendaleGreendale Avenue,Avenue, Needham,Needham, MA,MA, 02492.02492. SeniorSenior EditorsEditors andand productionproduction Everyone knows about Kendrick’s new album, but what and relatives from outside New staffstaff reservereserve thethe rightright toto reject,reject, edit,edit, oror admitadmit anyany oror allall submissions.submissions. ToTo submitsubmit anan article,article, England that its awesome and you visit the Walrus page, found on the student portal of our beautiful school website. you may not know is that he recently changed into a llama visit the Walrus page, found on the student portal of our beautiful school website. April 2016 THE WALRUS Page 3 Your 5 Senior Editors, Signing Out Greg DeMatteo All good things must one-day end, and now the final chapter in the story of my time as Editor- in-Chief of the Walrus is being written, as my editors work tirelessly this final weekend to complete our final issue. In the year 3546, when historians look back at past few millennia, our time as editors will be remembered with the invention of the wheel, Virgil writing the Aeneid, and 7th period AP Greek I as some of the shining moments in mankind’s history. When I look back on the roughly two hours I spent editing the Walrus since last May, I am still amazed at how little I know. For instance, when working on the April Fool’s issue just one week or so ago, I had absolutely no idea how to add a textbox, so I had to ask Paul for help. Another time, I was attempting to correctly format the Rare Questionnaire, but I couldn’t figure out how to create a table with the correct number of rows or columns. Dave helped me with that one. Over the course of the year, I ran into many other similar problems that Dave, Paul, and Jimmy had to help me with, so I want to thank all you guys for putting up with me. Owen never did anything to help, since he’s worse than I am at editing. In closing, I will leave all you students, parents, teachers, staff, and members of the St. Seb’s community who are heartbroken at our departure with the oft quoted words of Dr. Seuss: “Don’t cry because it’s over. Smile because it happened.”

Owen Finnegan After eight complete issues, hundreds of hours spent in the Walrus lab, and one mental breakdown, it is time for me to finally say goodbye to this crazy newspaper. As with all things related to Sebs, I have a hard time letting them go. Therefore, I have decided that I will not let the Walrus slip from my grasp. Senior year has already taken my student council and drama club presence, and I refuse to have the Walrus meet the same unfortunate fate. Therefore, I have made the executive decision to shave my head, grow to seven foot four, and spend a few years in Milwaukee, Wisconsin. That’s right, ladies and gentlemen, I have decided to become Daniel Drummond. Between drilling The Odyssey into terrified freshman and teaching the mysterious, extremely exclusive senior Shake- speare class, I will devote the remainder of my time faculty advising the Walrus. I will usher in a new era of marine mammalian greatness. In all seriousness, I will miss the Walrus. For all you five new editors, although I don’t know who you are yet, cherish the “Walrus Weekends.” Although at first they will be grueling and mentally taxing, you will soon come to love the grind, and you will treat each issue as your own baby. I actually have eight babies now, all sitting on my desk in my room. I kind of feel like a Dug- gar. Remember, as with all good things, take the Walrus seriously, but don’t be afraid to have some fun with it. At the end of the day, you will want to hold something in your hands that you can look at and say “I’m proud of this.” That’s about all I’ve got. To the readers, thank you for reading and appreciating the Walrus, although they are often left strewn about the upper library. To the writers and editors, be sure to continue the line of journalistic excellence that has been instilled in the Walrus staff for so long. And finally, thanks to everyone else for making my time here so sweet. God bless, and Go Arrows.

Paul Keady

I can’t believe you guys trusted me to write for and edit this newspaper. Peep the quote from me in the Quotes of the Month. That’s no joke. I’ve been playing you guys for the past four or so years. My reading comprehension level is that of a small child and somehow someone has al- lowed me to be a part of this great newspaper. Whoever that person is, thank you. Anyways, the joke is over now and my time with the Walrus is coming to a close. I’ve never considered myself much of a journalist or writer. In fact, I consider myself very far from both of those things. However, I gave the Walrus a try, and it has been a great experience. The highlight of my journalism was definitely my ski team article. Before that article, I was used to sitting down by myself and writing random useless information, but for this ski article, Ms. Rynne urged me to sit and talk with her. So after an informative interview, I whipped up the article, and weeks later I got a shoutout from Coach Rynne at the sports awards assembly. Most pleasantly surprised I’ve been in my entire 17 years. I’m really blanking, so I’m gonna call it there. Thanks for the support. ‘Preciate cha. David Korzeniowski Cue the sad music. Whip out the Kleenex. It’s time for us to say goodbye. I know, I never thought this day would come either. But don’t worry, you guys will be fine. You’re in good hands. We have yet to decide who the new senior editors will be, though, so I guess I’m just hop- ing that you’ll be in good hands. Will I miss the Walrus? Absolutely. In all seriousness, this has been one of my favorite extracurriculars. I started writing freshman year, and I’ve had a lot of fun. This, combined with the communications club, has helped my writing and communication skills. I want to do some- thing in communications or broadcast journalism for my profession, so this newspaper has been invaluable to me. Thanks to Mr. Drummond for keeping this thing rolling for however many years it’s been. I have some more space to fill, so I’ll just keep writing. I think the funniest article I’ve ever read in the Walrus was Will Kenney’s “Why I Love Frozen More Than You.” That was hilarious. I remember the first article I wrote for the Walrus was a Point/Counterpoint. It was Lance Armstrong vs. Manti Te’o. I bet you can guess which one I wrote. To all the younger guys who are hesitant to join the Walrus, do it. If you don’t like it, you can stop. But chances are, you will. It will help your writing get better and better. It gives the school a chance to read your work. It’s a lot of fun. To the new senior editors, whoever you may be, embrace the grind. Yes, you’ll have to come in one weekend a month. Yes, you’ll have to track down a ton of late articles. But you’ll enjoy it. I guarantee it. So with that, I say goodbye. Adios. Ciao. Au Revoir. Jimmy Ryan The time has come, the Walrus said, to sign off as editor. I don’t want this sounding like a chapel speech or yearbook page, but that’s probably what it’s gonna be, because that’s what things are like as a senior at the end of the year. I can honestly say this was one of the best parts of the year. Yeah, it was grueling, and yeah, it took a lot of time from the weekends, but...well, I don’t really know what to say after the “but.” So what made editing the Walrus so special, you ask? Maybe it was spending time with Korzo, Owen, Saul, Greg, and Mr. Drummond. Maybe it was the culmination of my efforts as a writer (and cartoonist). Maybe it was the fact that Owen and Dave took the brunt of the work. Maybe it was just one of those things that I can’t really explain. Anyway, I think I’ll take a page from Dave’s book and encourage all the younger guys to try out the Walrus. Or the Quiver. Or the Journal. Or just find something you haven’t done before and give it a try. Go do something cool. It might be hard, but if it’s not hard is it really worth doing? It’s weird to say, but I think the busier I am with school stuff like the Walrus, the more inter- esting things are, and ultimately the more fun I have. Walrus Weekends, tracking down late articles, sitting at the computer contemplating what should go where, joking about ridiculous quotes or wild celebrity look-alikes, all of it was awesome. Huge thanks to my fellow editors and good luck to all the guys who will work on this paper in the future. Before I break down and cry and have trouble getting home safely, I think I’ll wrap this up. It’s tough thinking about leaving this all behind. I don’t really have the words to express a proper good- bye. I couldn’t think of a good Star Wars or Lord of the Rings quote to end on, so I think I’ll steal from the Sound of Music: So long, farewell, auf wiedersehen, goodbye. I leave and heave a sigh and say goodbye. Goodbye! Stay Classy, St. Sebastian’s Page 4 THE WALRUS April 2016 Casey’s Cinematic Corner “Batman vs. Superman: Dawn of Justice” danger to planet Earth. So, let’s get By Casey Kelly ‘16 into the review. trailers, the movie didn’t seem like The movie is pretty long it would be that amazing to me. It’s FEATURE WRITER (two and a half hours long to be spe- not because of the idea of good guy Despite our president’s cific.)Two and a half hours may not vs. good guy for the Captain America warnings about how bad Batman v. seem like much time, but it is when Civil War trailers seem to be way Superman: Dawn of Justice was, I about thirty minutes are somewhat better than any of the trailers for this still decided to review it. Before giv- decent action scenes that make the movie. As for the redeeming quali- ing you my opinions on the movie, movie worth maybe a glance and two ties of these movies, I guess the one I should warn you that I don’t know hours of a narrative that was pretty big fight scene is the only thing that much about superheroes or the dif- boring. After realizing that I spent might make this movie worth it. ferences between the DC and Marvel two and a half hours to see one fight Overall, I wouldn’t suggest worlds. The movie made no sense that was just okay makes me realize watching this movie while it’s in the- to me. Batman is a good guy who that I pretty much wasted some time atres. Just wait till it gets on Netflix helps fight bad guys, and Superman on this film. As for the acting, Ben or go on Youtube and just Google the is a good guy who also helps fight Affleck played Batman and Henry fight scene. The movie itself doesn’t bad guys. So, why are they fight- Cavill played Superman, and neither really explain what’s going on before This month, open yourselves to a little culture, read some ing each other if they are both good did a fantastic job in all honesty. A lot the fight, so it doesn’t matter if you poetry, and become a better person by it. You’re welcome. guys? Watching the movie, however, of their potential to act was robbed just watch the fight. I would give this cleared up my confusion. The story by the director Zack Snyder. Many movie one Casey head since it seems is that Superman fought some guy people attribute the failure of this like it may have had some potential named Lex Luthor, and, in doing so, movie to the director since a lot of at some point, but now it just seems O Captain my Captain! destroyed a good portion of Metropo- the narrative seems pretty confus- like a huge failure to make an inter- lis. Since Superman just messed up ing and doesn’t really make much esting movie. The worst part about the city and apparently hurt people in sense. With the director failing to this movie is that it may take away National Poetry Month put together the movie in a way that from people’s interest in Captain the process, Batman has a beef with the faded art of poetry has been seemed natural and logical, the movie America Civil War, which looks like By Joe O’Donnell ‘19 him. Batman attempts to stop Super- slightly revived. This month also man since he feels as though he is a just seemed really forced. Even in the a way more spectacular movie. National poetry month, which takes place in April, was solely reminds us of what poetry can founded for awareness purposes. mean. It can tell a 1,000 page National poetry history month affects book in 20 words. No such form many people. National poetry history of literature that is even related month will probably be introduced to to poetry exists. Some people say someone through an institution like a that the over-abundance of poetry school such as St. Sebs. during this month overwhelms I want to talk about how people. national poetry month might be What is interesting brought to one’s attention at St about national poetry month is Sebastian’s. During this month, St how it started. The idea was in- Sebastian’s furthers the purpose of fluenced by black history month. national poetry month by mak- The objectives of both ideas are ing it known to their students. In very similar. It all was started in the first corporate chapel of April, 1996 by the Academy of Ameri- Owen Finnegan ‘16 recited a poem can Poets. As the event has aged, in front of the school, firing the so has its popularity. Through first shot of national poetry month time, the idea drew attention to at St Sebastian’s. And like a war, things like the government and the poetry comes in very fast like educators. bullets. Some classes might make An intriguing point of Before this movie came out, Mr. Drummond worried aloud that it would be terrible. Any- this month more known than national poetry month is how way, make sure to see Captain America to restore your lost faith in superhero movies. others, depending on the subject. April is the month. What is the The freshmen have felt the wrath significance of April? With the of poetry in the second half of the help of educators, poets, and year in writing class, since the sec- authors, April was established as UConn Women’s Basketball or Sebs ond half’s curriculum is primarily national poetry month because focused on poetry. Various poetry that was the time of year that they assignments have thrown their thought would attract the most Varsity Basketball: Who You Got? focus toward that area of literature participation. more than the average amount. National Poetry Month Next I want to talk about has had success in reviving the By Matt Karpowicz ‘16 what national poetry month can lost art of poetry. Classroom cur- mean to others. To many people, riculum has had more poetry in it HEAD WRITER the need to keep the ancient art of than when the event was started, poetry alive is vital. Bill Clinton, showing an impact. The impact who has a major effect in the birth encourages the idea of a month of this event, said that it would dedicated to poetry even more. be tragic to see an ancient art I would predict that poetry will VERSUS such as poetry, one of the things be encouraged more and more that people did a very long time as time goes on, in order to have contested than I expected. That night ago and still do now, slip away. poetry around for generations to I took the question to Twitter, where Through national poetry month, come. it was an even 50-50 split, with 22 people thinking a team of high school boys would beat the 4-time reigning champs, and another 22 thinking it Underwood 2016: House of would be the other way around. It was then that I knew this needed to Cards Season 4 Review be put to the people, the Walrus faith- ful, and hope that they see things the I think that season 4 was the By Phil the Filler Writer best season of the show thus far. The first way I am. This past week, the Uni- 100 prospect in the country Jermaine 5 or 6 episodes still dealt with the Frank versity of Connecticut’s women’s First, let’s go to the Tale Samuels to a season low 14 points, 8 WARNING: The following vs. Clare showdown, a conflict that is basketball team clinched their fourth of the Tape: the projected starting of which he got on foul shots. So he article contains spoilers regarding the infuriating for most viewers. However, House of Cards consecutive national championship lineups based on number of starts this made three shots against them. I think series and the events after a near-death experience, Frank that transpire in season 4. with an 82-51 victory over the 4th year, and the players’ heights. Plansky would hold Brianna Stewart comes to realize his need for his wife, God, I love House of Cards. I and vice versa. He agrees to put her on seeded University of Syracuse. While UConn Women’s to similar numbers, and with our other started this show last year, after Season UConn’s success in the women’s best defender Will Phelan taking their the ticket as VP for the 2016 election. I Moriah Jefferson 5’7 3 had been released. I binged watched also loved the character of Will Conway, game is certainly not new (this is second best player Moriah Jefferson, I the entire 39 episodes in about a week. th Kia Nurse 6’0 a young Republican who gains more and head coach Geno Auriemma’s 11 just don’t see where their points would I immediately erected a shrine to Frank more traction heading up to the elec- Gabby Williams 5’11 championship at the school), this is come from. Also, we could throw out Underwood in my room. In the center tion. He reveals his true colors as a cold, the first time we have seen any such a smaller and more athletic lineup that of the shrine was a calendar on which Morgan Tuck 6’2 th unapologetic politician, just like Frank. dominance. This team outscored its could be something like Phelan, Plan- I counted down the days to March 4 , Brianna Stewart 6’4 Also, the show was startling realistic in opponents by 40 points a game, the sky, Calabro, Tommy Seidl, and Harry 2016: the release date of season 4. the final four episodes. Frank and Will The date is March 3rd, and I’m second highest average margin of Carlson, and full court press them, and have to team up to deal with a terror- Sebs Boys furiously researching when exactly sea- victory in history, behind only the I don’t know that they could handle all ist organization that wreaks havoc on Will Phelan 6’2 son 4 will come out on Netflix. Finally, American soil. 2014-15 UConn Huskies the previous that pressure. I find out that the 13 episodes would year. This team doesn’t just win, it Will Plansky 5’11 Another thing to consider is So, what were the highlights? come out at 3 AM Eastern Time. No Obviously, the final scene of the season dominates. They have won 122 of Ryan Colgan 5’10 the coaching matchup. UConn coach joke. What an obscure time. Oh well. I was just absurd. I don’t think I slept for their last 123, and every single win Dana Tate 6’6 Geno Auriemma has won over 1000 go to bed at 8:00 PM, and I set my alarm a week. However, my favorite scene, by has been by double digits!!! Absurd. games and 11 championships in his for 2:45 AM. I hop out of bed like a kid Matt Karpowicz 6’8 far, was when Frank brought a threaten- That’s bananaland. career at UConn, but how many AP on Christmas Day. I crack open a Coke, ing Cathy Durant into the oval office And as we are wont to do classes does he teach? G-Mo would grab a bag of popcorn, and watch the The first thing that jumps for a little talk. I won’t give away what in 2016, we can’t just appreciate a outsmart him easily. The game would first episode. After a disturbing opening happened, but the acting and dialogue out obviously is the height difference. scene, I knew that the show I so desper- team’s success for what it is, we must be over before it started. sent chills down my spine. If you haven’t We are taller at every position except ately craved was back again. I watched draw up crazy hypotheticals and In all seriousness, this would watched this show, get on it ASAP. for one of the shooting guard spots, all of season 4 in 3 days. rank teams and compare them and be an awesome game to see played and for the most part it’s not even all that fun stuff. Many times when out. What the UConn women have close, with our bigs a combined 10 such hypotheticals are thought of, done in the past four years and since inches taller, and our point guard 7 they end up being incredibly one- the turn of the century is unrivaled inches taller than our counterparts. sided. So when none other than Mike in any sport across any level, but I’m Also, weights are not listed, but Mullowney asked me recently if I taking my guys. I really do think that we definitely have them beat in the thought we would beat the UConn we’re bigger, faster, and stronger than strength category. When you consider women’s team, I looked at him them. And if we played at home, in that we can bring big guys like Aus- like he just asked me if BC could front of Henry’s? Forget about it. tin O’Shea, Jonathan Pace, and Kevin handle Quinnipiac’s speed through Boland off the bench to give them a the neutral zone (spoiler alert: they Prediction: Player of the Game Dana taste of what Sebs football is like, I couldn’t). “We. Would. Murder. Tate leads the way with 22 points, 14 like our chances inside Them.” The student lounge erupted, rebounds, and 4 assists. Colgs goes 4/5 One concern some might and I mean erupted. Chirps were from three, O’Shea hits about 4 elbow have for us would be whether or not being hurled at me from all sides. I jumpers, and Plansky and Phelan put we could stop Brianna Stewart, to was pretty confused. I thought this the clamps on Stewart and Jefferson. which I have two words: Will Plan- was a no-brainer, but apparently not. Geno Auriemma puts himself in a sky. Plansky was our best defender I was outnumbered about 7-2, with mental pretzel trying to learn about all year, routinely guarding the other only Paul Canavan in my corner, who standard deviation. team’s best player and shutting them argued that “women have smaller down. Last year against Rivers, brains” and thus lost all respect. Sebs 82, UConn Women 63 Plansky and Mike Calabro com- House of Cards is just another reason we all love Netflix. But apparently this was more hotly bined to hold league MVP and Top April 2016 THE WALRUS Page 5 Red Sox 2016 Preview: Can New Additions Carry Sox to Playoffs?

By Will Fox ‘18 years that the Sox have him for. The Red Sox will wield one of the best defensive outfields The return of Boston Red in all of the MLB, highlighted by Sox baseball wasn’t exactly met with Mookie Betts and Jackie Bradley Jr. the greatest weather this year, but Mookie could eventually become a nevertheless the squad will suit up franchise player for Boston, as he has to begin the 2016 campaign on April the bat and the glove to prove it. He 5th, one day late due to cold tempera- will start the season batting leadoff, tures. As is the case almost every where he thrived last year. He will year in Boston, new signings and most likely play right field to start, as familiar heroes give the Sox potential Jackie Bradley will be handling cen- for a run in the playoffs, even after ter field. Bradley brings a potential two very down years. A new Direc- gold glove to the outfield, but he will tor of Baseball Operations in Dave need to step up his offensive play if Dombrowski will try to begin his he wants to maintain his spot in the time at the helm on a positive note, lineup. The outfield will be comple- a year the Sox desperately need to mented with utility man Brock Holt, After some disappointing seasons, the Sox hope that the new additions to the team bounce back from a last place finish veteran addition Chris Young, and can help them give David Ortiz the final season that he deserves before he retires. in the AL East in 2015. The good Cuban defector Rusney Castillo. news? The Sox went from worst to Castillo has potential for huge power first in 2012-2013. They could do it numbers but has yet to find his swing again. Kid to Know: Trevor Yandow ‘17 since coming to America. Brock The biggest news of the off- Holt can pretty much play any posi- His premier athletic build assist and a great defensive effort. season for the Sox was the signing of tion, which will be valuable in case By James Orscheln ‘17 and of both strength and speed has In addition to indoor soccer, Trevor ace David Price. While many point of injuries. Chris Young will be used helped him grow into one of the top thrives at JV lacrosse where he is cur- out the ridiculous amount of money Thomas Wasynczuk ‘17 minimally, but a good season in New Spikeball players ever, and he was rently tied for first in both goals and Price is now owed over the course York last year could mean at least Perhaps you’ve heard quoted saying “I could beat anyone.” assists (through 3 practices). of seven seasons (217 million!), a some contribution from the 32-year- of him. Perhaps you’ve met him. The combination of his height and proven head of the pitching staff is old. Chances are you have. Regardless, speed helps him reach every ball, and Off the playing field, one of the most important pieces to The infield will be led, as you all know who I’m talking about: he has perfected his shot so he quite Yandow loves Mr. Williams’ class, a contending team, a pitcher the Sox usual, by second baseman Dustin Pe- Trevor Yandow (‘17). Much like how simply cannot lose at Spikeball, mak- and is a big fan of his advisor, Mr. have been lacking since their release droia. Pedroia bids for a gold glove DJ Khaled talks about the fabled ing it his favorite activity. In other Wilbur. His favorite movie ever is of Jon Lester. Owner John Henry almost every year, but what the Sox “they,” to some Trevor is merely a sports, he managed the varsity soccer Interstellar (probably the 4th or 5th isn’t exactly financially challenged really need from him is the offensive myth that you hear about. We are team this past fall, although some best Christopher Nolan movie, but either. So, while questions arise as to numbers. He will be batting out of here to assure you that like “they,” all that’s a discussion for another time), whether Price is worth the price, the would say he deserved to play on the the two hole this year, so his offen- he likes Kendrick Lamar, and used to most important question mark is his you hear about Trevor is true, he is team, because he was more talented sive production would take the pres- play the trombone. He was in a 5th ability to perform in a Boston market just very difficult to track down, but than the entire team combined. His sure off of aging DH David Ortiz in dominated by pressure and expecta- we were able to capture an exclusive incredible soccer skills are put to the grade musical production of Aladdin, his final season. Ortiz has shown that tion. The good thing is that Price interview with him. test every weekend at Forekicks in and broke his arm by falling off his he can still be an offensive weapon has experience pitching in the AL First off, we took his results Norfolk, where he is a part of one of swing set when he was 3. His second even at his age. He seems like he can East, one of the toughest divisions in of the fitness test, and they are as fol- the true hidden gems of St. Sebs, the grade teacher was Mrs. Rovzar, and continue his success for one more baseball, due to stints in Toronto and lowed Slippery Salmon indoor soccer team. his younger brother Dennis is in the year before his announced retirement. Tampa Bay. Price will be familiar Height: 6’ 0” Trevor plays forward, center attack- 8th grade at Sebs. Trevor attended the All Sox fans would love to see Ortiz with most of the batters he has to ing mid, and all-star for Slippery, and Carroll School (not the one for the ride off into the sunset after this year, face within the division, especially Weight: 130 lbs so far this season has racked up a blind) prior to his arrival at Sebs in hopefully after bringing one more Josh Donaldson, Edwin Encarna- 9th grade, which led to his nickname championship to Boston. Shortstop grand total of 1 assist, coming against cion, and Troy Tulowitzki (three of Bench Press (Reps of 225): 10 from Mr. Wu, “Trevor school.” He Xander Bogaerts has yet to prove the best team in the league, Pasta. his former teammates from 2015). roots for Syracuse, who is much bet- that he can be a consistent shortstop Slippery Salmon pulled off perhaps Price also supplies a fear factor that 40 yard: 4.5 (official) year in and year out, but a stellar year the biggest upset since Florida Gulf ter than UVA in basketball, and often has been missing in Boston since last year in which he almost won the Coast beat Georgetown a few years argues with Pete Rowe at lunch. He aces like Pedro Martinez and Josh 100 yard: 9.34 (unofficial) batting title is a great sign for his back in the NCAA tournament, and has three siblings and a pet dog, and Beckett. The Sox will look to Price blossoming talent. Hanley Ramirez Trevor played a vital role, endur- once traveled to Australia, where he as a steady, consistent ace who can Sources: Trevor Yandow will begin his experiment at first base ing through a broken ankle to net an bought a souvenir towel which he give them an added advantage every this year, which will either be hilari- uses to dry off when he goes swim- five games. The other four starters ously disastrous or a huge surprise. ming. behind Price are quite a drop off from While first base is one of the easier the status of the ace. Clay Buchholz, positions to learn, Hanley has shown Perhaps the greatest quality although talented, is very inconsistent that he isn’t a defensive talent from of young Trevor is his life-size fat- and injury prone. He will need to his endeavors last year in left field. head of Tom Brady in his basement. stay healthy for the majority of the There is no doubt that Ramirez can He has more Nerf guns than any season in order to perform like he has hit, but his defense could be a prob- other person in the greater Boston in the past. Rick Porcello may have lem this year, especially with David area, and a seemingly endless supply been one of the worst signings of the Ortiz occupying the DH spot for one of lemonade and Chex Mix (which year last year, but if he can regain his more year. 2015 breakout Travis 2014 form, he will be a decent option he never eats). The day he learned to Shaw did manage to beat out Pablo in the middle of the rotation. Joe pour drinks, he drank way too many Sandoval for the starting third base Kelly brings the heat with a high 90s glasses of apple cider, and felt sick to job. Shaw offers a powerful bat and fastball, but will need to rediscover his stomach (true story, he was only decent defense, but so does Sandoval, his control if he hopes to move up in 3 years old at the time). That’s about so the competition for third could the rotation in future years. Steven all you’ll ever need to know about last the whole season. A little rivalry Wright features a knuckleball that this mysterious fellow, dominant could do Sandoval good, as many is mediocre at best, but offseason Spikeball player, and Carroll School questioned his motivation and ability collaboration with Tim Wakefield, alumnus. If you ever see Trevor in after last year’s decrease in produc- one of the best knuckleballers of all the hallway or around campus, make tion. The Sox have three options at time, could set him on the path for a sure to give him a wave, and unlike catcher. Blake Swihart is the most more permanent spot on the pitching gifted offensively, Christian Vazquez Trevor Yandow, aka the Trevor-ending Story, is going to be a se- “they,” do not stay away from him. staff. Wright won’t be around for too is the mostly gifted defensively, and nior next year. Get to know him so you’ll have a powerful friend. long however, as he will eventually Ryan Hanigan is the most gifted in be relegated to the bullpen by young terms of pitcher-catcher relationship. gun Eduardo Rodriguez, who will be If Dave Dobrowski could add all starting the season on the disabled three up and divide by three, he prob- Latin Club Conquers Classics Day Again list. Overall, David Price gives a ably would. Vazquez will start the much needed boost to the rotation, if another chariot came close our that still we are Sebs and we’re bet- season on the DL, but he and Swihart but inconsistencies behind him could Paul Keady ‘16 chariot, Henry’s would scare it back to ter than you. Last year, we swept should play the majority of the sea- spell trouble for the Sox this year. its place. Also, Sebs kept the energy ever single academic competition: son. The Sox will have to choose in The bullpen was boosted by SENIOR EDITOR level high at the costume contest. The upper level certamen, lower level the future whether to go with defense star pickup Craig Kimbrel, one of the costume contest is basically a series certamen, and the manuscript chal- or offense in their catcher. Both will On thursday April 7, 2016, best closers in baseball. His arrival of classics-themed skits. Most of lenge. Certamen is Latin trivia. A fetch considerable value in the trade a legion of St. Sebastian’s Arrows not only means that the Sox will have them are extraordinarily dry, but we Holy Cross student asks three teams market however. boarded a Michael J. Connolly & a dominant option in the ninth inning, always spiced it up. Some of our best of four a question about the Latin In terms of the playoffs, the Sons yellow school bus on its way to but Kimbrel also allows the Sox to performances were Pat McLaughlin’s language and culture, and the first Red Sox will need a lot of factors to Classics Day. For those of you who rest Koji Uehara and Junichi Tazawa, “Living in a Raeda down by the Tiber” person to slap the table and answer point their way if they hope to win don’t know, Classic Day is an event two relievers who were punished by (a reinterpretation of Chris Farley’s correctly earns points for his or her the AL East. Their main competition Latin Club attends at Holy Cross every overuse last year. Koji will feature “Living in a Van down by the River”) team. The manuscript challenge will be the Toronto Blue Jays, who spring to celebrate the classics. Back his patented magic ball splitter, and if and R-O-M-A (a Roman twist on isn’t nearly as intense. Well before were in the ALCS last year. If the in its hay day, the majority of Sebs he even comes close to his 2013 self, the dance classic Y-M-C-A). Many the event, we choose a manuscript Sox can’t overcome the Jays, they would show out to the event and sim- the eighth inning-ninth inning combo Arrows considered Classics Day their of a famous Latin text and compose will most likely still contend for a ply dominate academically, physically, of him and Kimbrel could be scary. favorite day of the year and the peak a document analyzing the piece. Wild Card position at least. How- socially, spiritually, and emotionally. Tazawa will most likely work the ear- of camaraderie and Sebsness. But For the past two years, these aca- ever, the prospects of a one game The highlight of this event was the lier innings, with Robbie Ross Jr. and unfortunately, the rowdiness and en- demic events have been our special- playoff will motivate them to push to chariot race by far. For years we were Tommy Layne filling out the rest of tertainment reached its tipping point, ty. Classics Day has changed, but it win their division. Whether they can undefeated. It was almost unfair. We the pen. Carson Smith, a new arrival, and for the past couple years we’ve is still a good time and a great stage or not will depend mostly on their had D1 athletes consistently pull in- will start the season on the disabled showed up with a much smaller cadre to display St. Sebastian’s excellence rotation and offensive firepower. The nocent scrawny middle-schoolers to list, but is considered one of the best of classics scholars. And even with this in the field of classics. Sox have the tools, now all they need victory. Our fan section was rowdy young relievers in the majors. He tiny group, we’ve managed to prove is the performance. to say the least. On the chariot course, will hopefully develop over the five

April showers... Favorite Poem David Ortiz is... 2017-2018 Sebs Rate this year’s President? Walrus 1-10 ‘16 Mike Mullowney May flowers, right? I don’t read The greatest Not Jack Bresnahan 0 Paul Canavan Non-existent Catullus 51 My father Desisto -3.7 RARE Patrick Muldowney June flowers Pass Not white Desisto 2.5 Cole Aldrich What? *shrugs* A good player Who’s in that grade? 6

Matt Barron I’m not doing this Get away Hispanic No idea Decent QUESTIONNAIRE Cam Aldrich ...suck? Chilling and Fat Digan 2.3x3 Killing Page 6 THE WALRUS April 2016 POINT / COUNTERPOINT Batman Superman

Ryan Mullen ‘19 V. Drew Dorsey ‘19 Batman. Bruce and everyday even though those After speaking to the writer The Man of Steel, should make one uneasy when man’s traits is that he doesn’t Wayne. Protector of the people very people viewed him as the who is writing about super- the Last Son of Krypton, the Batman is around, whether just step in to help when of Gotham. Has defeated the bad guy for many of his super- man, he even secretly told me Metropolis Marvel, whatever he is protecting you or not, gunshots are being fired, or a insane Joker, powerful Bane, hero days. Overall, Batman is that he would rather talk about you call him, Superman, has you never know what is going horrible monster unearths. No, and many other villainous crimi- a strong, good-willed, wealthy, batman because he is the supe- been rivaling Batman on the through his head. Superman consistently acts nals all while being seen as the hard-working, kind yet tough rior superhero. I agree. big screen since 1978 when the Another reason why against natural disasters, such enemy of the citizens of Gotham superhero who will risk his life Batman is from first Superman movie was aired. Superman trumps Batman as fires (Batman vs Superman: for a long time. As a young for others as seen in many of his earth while Superman was sent Finally, a colossal thirty-eight in my mind is that Batman The Dawn of Justice) or floods boy, seen in the new Batman v. other movies. It is truly difficult here from a different planet years later, the hero of metropo- hardly even fits the dictionary (Man of Steel). He tries to save Superman movie and past Bat- definition of a superhero: to capture Batman’s heroic im- and is an alien that should not lis and the psychopathic bil- everyone he can, no matter the man movies, Batman or Bruce lionaire of Gotham finally got to Su·per·he·roˈ age in only a few words. be trusted. Batman wears all situation. Wayne’s parents are murdered meet face-to-face, and it wasn’t so͞ opərˌhirō/ Lastly, the main Superman. Clark black, a mask, a cape, and has in front of his own eyes, and this pretty… for Batman. Noun reason why Superman is ten Kent. Destroyer of human life, many other cool features to his is when he originally discovers There are many A benevolent fictional charac- times the hero of Batman is specifically Gotham. Defeated suit and Clark Kent at some the Batcave. Bruce is a wealthy reasons why Batman will never ter with superhuman powers, because of his importance Zod after he brought him earth point decided that what he man who has created an empire thrive over Superman, and hey, such as Superman. in the final fight against Lex where he attack the human race. wears is something a superhero for his other identity, Batman, it’s expected. It is not easy to Now, I’m not even Luthers horrible creature As a baby, his parents sacrificed would wear. No mask, a cape such as the powerful and deadly themselves so that he may live reign supreme over the stron- going to mention that last part birthed out of the crash site not nearly as cool as batman’s, of the definition, I don’t want Batmobile and also renovations a life and eventually go on to do gest being on Earth, a Kryp- of the Kryptonian spaceship. and other low quality attach- tonian warrior. Right off the to destroy Batman too quickly. Superman and Wonderwoman to the cave. great things, but disappointed ments to his suit. Bruce Wayne bat, Superman fits the concept I am, however, going to focus battled the creature valiantly, Batman has no many in the fact that he worked is CEO of Wayne Enterprises, of a superhero far better than on the words, “superhuman while Batman watched on. superpowers, but is only a man as a fisherman and other various lives in a nice house that he Batman. Coming from humble powers,” powers that Batman Superman, sticking to his true that after much hard work and odd jobs for quite some time. received from his ancestors, beginnings, Superman was born simply does not possess. The roots, even left the battle for dedication has become an above Clark is a man who writes for has a bat cave with a entrance with his powers. He worked hard only thing remotely superhu- a moment to save Lois, who average human being. The the newspaper and in his spare in water, and a bat mobile that to hone them to his liking and man about Batman is amount foolishly got trapped underwa- technology that has been created time protects his girlfriend is pimped out with a black began his legacy as a savior of of weight he effortlessly ter. Finally, in his most heroic in his Batcave is some of the and usually kills anyone that tint, weapons, and can also mankind. On the other hand, as moved in the intense training move to date, Superman thrust most advanced and he is able to threatens her. The only reason he sneaky fly. Clark Kent writes those who have seen the recent montage midway through the the kryptonite bladed spear do this with the help of his butler is able to do the things he does for a newspaper and is often film know, Batman is simply a movie. Five hundred pound into the creature, knowing full Alfred. Batman/Bruce has never is because he was handed super seen getting yelled at by his mentally imbalanced business- squats and weighted pull-ups well what it would cost him, had anything handed to him and strength, the ability to fly, laser boss because he leaves his man with an unlimited budget. are no joke. Even with mas- his life. Meanwhile, might I worked to reach his position, vision, bulletproof skin, and job at random times without After spending what must be an sive amounts of strength, Bat- add, as Superman sacrificed growing up with no parents man is still no superhero. If other unfair abilities. As a fellow informing anyone, lives in unfathomable amount of money his life to destroy the monster, and also most likely slightly on top of the line gadgets and John Smith from Ohio found Batman sat back and contin- Sebs student said Superman is an apartment with his girl- traumatized from the event. Bat- cars, Bruce Wayne takes to the some of Batman’s gadgets ued to watch. just a “boy scout.” Superman friend, and that’s about it. As man’s main objective is to make streets to find vengeance for in the dumpster and started In summary, Super- clearly always has to try and do a superhero and also a human his hometown Gotham a safer parents’ death. After watching beating up petty thieves, man edges out Batman as the what is right, but usually ends up being, Bruce/Batman is more place for the men and women Batman vs Superman: The Dawn does he become a superhero true hero of Batman vs Super- hurting some innocent people. admirable overall. who try to live their life each of Justice, it is fairly clear that too? Batman simply doesn’t man: The Dawn of Justice by “The Bat” cleans up Gotham deserve the title of a superhero quite a bit. Batman’s mental only because of a form of because he spent his money instability, and like of true PTSD, shockingly evident when on some knives and a fancy superhero characteristics open Superman mentions the name car. In addition to Batman’s the door, and Superman’s will Celtics Fight for Playoff Bid “Martha” (Mother of Bruce faults, Superman is also a tre- for saving lives and ultimate and his Father’s last words). It mendous hero himself. One of sacrifice blow the door off its By Ryan Curran ‘18 of fifty three straight home victories is this mental instability that the most admirable of Super- hinges. and further displayed the truth that the As the Boston Celtics that the Celtics have the ability to beat Celtics are a team to look out for this approach their final regular season the Cavaliers, but that the Cavaliers post season. games, I would like to examine the are the stronger team. The Cavaliers Before the Celtics can look possibilities of their postseason play. have a much better record as well, at any of the Western Conference Currently, the Celtics are in a cluster but a lot can happen in the playoffs. opposition, however, they must get somewhere in the middle of the Anybody can beat anybody in the through the Eastern Conference. In Eastern Conference. With only a few NBA playoffs. The winner is simply the first round they will most likely be games left, the Celtics could end up the team who wants the victory more. playing the Miami Heat or the Char- being the third seed in the Eastern My unbiased self would look at what lotte Hornets. With the recent Celtics Conference or even the sixth seed. both teams have done this season and play and my personal confidence in In the standings, they are pick the Cavaliers to beat the Celtics my home team, I would predict the surrounded by teams such as the in six games, but I am not going to Celtics to be victorious against either Atlanta Hawks, Miami Heat, and listen to my unbiased self. I am offi- of those teams. Barring an upset where the Charlotte Hornets. If the stand- cially predicting the Celtics to beat the lower seeds are victorious against their ings remain steady throughout the Cavaliers in seven games. higher seeded opponents, the Celtics last few tests of the season, then the If the Celtics make it this far will move on to face the infamous Will the Celtics make the playoffs? Read the article and you Celtics will most likely end up being then they could be playing a number Cavaliers. may just find out. Just read it already...he worked really hard. the fourth or fifth seed in the East. of teams in the Eastern Conference The Cavaliers, led by many Even though they haven’t been the Championship. There could have been the NBA Finals just one series away, year, so even though I do not believe Boston fans’ least favorite player, Leb- most consistent team this year, the an upset, and the Celtics could have but this is where I am pulling the plug that they will win it all this year, I do ron James, are a top three basketball Celtics, if they bring their “A game,” played a different team in the semi- on my hopes and dreams for the Celt- believe that they will be taking home team in the NBA this year. The Celtics are a team that is capable of beating finals and play the Cavaliers in the ics this year. They are very good and the NBA championship within the next would have to play their absolute best every single team in the league. Just finals. They could also be playing the will be a surprise to many in the post- three years. The Celtics have a lot of game to be able to trump the Cavaliers two games ago they beat the Warriors Toronto Raptors or the Atlanta Hawks. season, but I do not believe that they young talent and are certainly a team in a seven game series. This year the at the Warriors’ Oracle Arena. Their The Celtics will be coming off of two are destined for the NBA Finals. Ever to look out for this postseason and for Celtics have played the Cavaliers three victory snapped the Warriors’ stretch great series with the ultimate goal of since Brad Stevens has taken over the next few years to come. times and have lost twice, suggesting they have gotten better and better each Celebrity Look-Alike

Harry Kelleher ‘16 Roger Federer April 2016 THE WALRUS Page 7 Beyond 1191 Greendale Ave. LeBron, Cavs: Love/Hate Relationship By Jake O’Neil ‘17 and Cleveland. Fans must also take into is still putting up elite numbers, and account the coaching change that the Cavaliers own first place in the Michael Hartman ‘17 took place in Cleveland, with the Eastern Conference. A deep run ap- firing of David Blatt and the hiring of pears likely. However, the Cavaliers As many of you know, former NBA player Tyronn Lue. At will have to face either the Spurs LeBron James returned to his home this point in LeBron’s career, how- or Warriors in the NBA Finals, and state of Ohio to play for his former ever, it seems that LeBron is the true their chances of even winning a game team, the Cleveland Cavaliers, for leader of whatever team he plays for. in either potential series are slim to the 2014-2015 season. This was This raises a question: can LeBron none. The Cavaliers are a good team, clearly a huge addition for Cleveland, galvanize his team and bring home but Golden State and San Antonio as LeBron had been greatly missed the trophy, or will he be so set on have just been on another level. For by the city ever since he left to play winning that he will forget that he’s a second straight year, the odds are for the Heat in 2010. LeBron James not the only player on the team? that LeBron will take a backseat to UPDATE: Boston College lost to Quinnipiac by a score of 3-2 wasn’t the only player Cleveland It’s somewhat hard to figure Stephen Curry and his seemingly grabbed, either. They also grabbed out exactly what’s going on with unstoppable Golden State team. Minnesota Timberwolves star Kevin LeBron. In one game, he’ll be acting To be fair, the Cavaliers Love, a three-point shooting and as both a coach on the court and car- were without Kyrie Irving for 5 of the Frozen Four Heats Up rebounding power forward who was rying the team on his back to victory. 6 games against Golden State in the was that Quinnipiac was able to only 25 years old at the time. Now The next day, however, rumors will NBA Finals last year, and they were By Jack McLaughlin ‘16 knock off an extremely talented BC with an all-star combo of LeBron swirl that LeBron complained yet without Kevin Love for all 6. These FEATURE WRITER team. While BC made a late push in James, Kyrie Irving, and Kevin Love, again and wants out of Cleveland are two key players that clearly give the third period, Quinnipiac domi- the Cavaliers could finally put behind (Side Note: Who wouldn’t want out a major boost to their team. However, With the Frozen Four being played this past Thursday evening in nated most of the game. Quinnipiac’s them the 4 dreadful previous seasons. of Cleveland? We hear you, LeBron). Golden State is a better team than strong penalty kill, goaltending, and It seemed as though the Cavaliers The whole situation is somewhat of it was last year, and San Antonio is Tampa, North Dakota and Quinnipiac will be headed to the champion- overall execution caused the Eagles had the Larry O’Brien trophy in their a mess. However, it pales in com- an incredible all-around team with to fall. In the first period, Quin- hands before the season even started. parison to what D’Angelo Russell exceptional big men. In order for ship. Quinnipiac shocked a lagging BC team as they went up early yet nipiac’s fore-check was relentless, However, they did not predict the is going through. The question the Cavaliers to win the NBA Finals causing BC defensemen to turn the absolute explosion that would come becomes, if LeBron is planning on (if they get there in the first place), needed some late saves in order to hold onto their 3-2 lead. puck over and make bad plays. These out of Oakland in the form of the dumping the Cavs like Iggy Azalea is they will need to have an exceptional turnovers led to Quinnipiac’s first Golden State Warriors. Just when it going to dump Nick Young (Swaggy game plan against either the Warriors North Dakota is also headed back to the championship for the two goals. seemed like LeBron would finally P)? can they at least succeed this or the Spurs. They will have to shut This performance almost gave win a championship for his dedicated season? The answer has to be no. down the Warriors outside shooting, first time since 2005. In their game against Denver, UND took 2-0 lead Mike Mullowney a heart attack as fans in Cleveland, the Cavaliers Despite a weak Eastern Conference, and they will have to get in Steph it left the entire BC fan base dumb- were beaten by the Warriors in six a distracted and disjointed Cavs team Curry’s head to make it more difficult going into the third period and even- tually pulled out the win, 4-2. The founded. All year they had dominated games. This was a devastating sight probably couldn’t beat the Raptors, on the Warriors incredible shooting teams and seemed like a sure-shot for Cleveland sports, considering Heat, or Celtics to make the NBA offense. If they play San Antonio, difference maker in this game seemed to be North Dakota’s first line of for- to win the National Championship, the Cavs have never won the NBA finals. However, we don’t exactly they will have to figure out how to however they did not perform early Finals. The last time the Indians buy into the rumors that LeBron is stop the Spurs’ great offensive front- wards. Drake Caggiula, a forward on the first line, netted the first two goals on in Thursday game. won was 68 years ago, and the ready to jump ship. After all, most court and figure out how to score on Even though Quinnipiac Browns have never even appeared of them come from ESPN, which the best defensive team in the NBA. in order to boost UND to the final. Denver’s effort throughout pulled out the win, they did so with- in the Super Bowl before. It’s just also believes that Tom Brady is the No matter which team it is the Cavs out their best player, Sam Anas. All sad, really. However, LeBron still scum of the Earth. Off the court, he play, they have a difficult playoff the game was impressive, however it proved too little too late. Their top year he has been their leading scorer has time to win a championship for has not given any evidence that these road ahead of them, and LeBron and best offensive threat. He took a the Cavaliers. In order to do so this rumors are true. On the court, LeBron James will need to step up in a major line which is usually productive, was sluggish and unable to get on the hard hit in his first shift and was not year, he’ll have to step up big time, has been a leader and a key player, way if he wants to finally bring home the same for the rest of the game. considering the top 3 teams in the even coaching his teammates from a championship for the Cleveland board in this game. Midway through the third, Denver got a lucky break This matchup for the Na- Western Conference are all teams the sideline. Despite not being the fans. tional Championship between North that are arguably more talented than NBA’s best player this year, LeBron as their top defenseman fired a shot that bounced off the opposing players Dakota and Quinnipiac should be stick which tied the game. pretty interesting. With a convinc- While there was only 8 ing win over BC, Quinnipiac seems shots total from both teams in the like the hot team that can continue first period, this game proved to be a their momentum moving forward. defensive battle. North Dakota in par- However, North Dakota has been ticular was able to clog the shooting there before and their coach has the lanes and block shots in the defensive experience whereas, with Quinnipiac, zone. Because of this, it opened up this would be their first. With the tal- North Dakota’s opportunities in the ented roster that Quinnipiac has and offensive zone. with their momentum going into this The most surprising result game, my prediction to win would be Quinnipiac by a score of 3-1. Bruins Playoffs: So You’re Sayin’ There’s a Chance Finally, on April 5th, as I By Neil Melley ‘18 am writing this article, the Bruins are The Bruins have not been playing the Carolina Hurricanes. It’s in the playoffs since the 2013-2014 looking like the Bruins are going to season. This is a surprisingly shock- have to win this in order to certify ing statistic considering the fact that themselves a spot on the list of teams they had won the Stanley Cup in the battling for the cup. The Hurricanes 2010-2011 season and then lost in have scored a late first period goal to the Stanley Cup finals to the Chicago put themselves up 1-0. The second Blackhawks in the 2012-2013 season. Is LeBron the greatest baller of all time? Does he need a championship with Cleveland? period remains stagnant, no scor- In the beginning of the 2016 season, ing from either of the two teams. How should we view him? By the looks of it, LeBron himself is contemplating these very the two words “Bruins” and “play- Finally, early in the third period, Loui questions too. offs” did not seem like words that Eriksson is able to net his 29th goal could be used in the same sentence. of the season to tie the game up 1-1. In the win/loss column next to the Good, it’s looking like a comeback Looking Back at the Madness team “Boston Bruins,” the letter “L” now. Regulation time ends and it seemed to overshadow the number remains a tie. The overtime point By Matt Aisenberg ‘16 one winning 66 to 63. Once again, all Many people projected that Oklaho- of times the letter “W” appeared. four of the 1 seeds kept rolling and ma was going to win this game also. ties the Bruins with the Philadelphia HEAD WRITER The B’s were not having as good of a Flyers for second in the wild card in advanced through the second round Finally the tournament was start to the season as they would have to the third. coming to a close and what a way for the Eastern Conference, but a win One of the most watched wanted to. would be a good boost for the Bruins sporting events in the country just Finally, it was time for the it to end. By far the best final game However, as the season to put themselves ahead of the Flyers. took place this past month. This event sweet 16. In this round it starts to I have ever seen. It all came down began to progress, the Bruins started Overtime ends and so the game will was of course March Madness. Peo- get a little more serious and teams to UNC versus Villanova. UNC was begin to set their eyes on winning projected to have the upper hand and showing signs of improvement. The be decided in a shootout. Notable St. ple from all over the country watch Bruins entered the All-Star break this and follow it very closely, even it all because there are only a few was known as the better team from Sebastian’s Alumnus, Noah Hanifin, rounds left. UNC continued their the start between these two. However with a record of 26-18-5, placing exits from the bench and waits at cen- those who do not normally follow them fourth in the Atlantic Confer- basketball. This is mainly because domination and beat Indiana by this did not seem to faze Nova. The ter ice for his turn to end the game in ence and first in the Eastern Confer- half the country enjoys gambling on 15. Notre Dame beat Wisconsin by game got off to a rather slow start, the shootout. With a nifty backhand ence wild-card race. The season was it and making brackets for it. One of a mere 5 points. 1 seed UVA beat both teams did not score much at goal, he is able to put the puck by starting to look hopeful again. the best parts about the tournament Iowa State by 13 points. The two first and were turning the ball over Tuukka Rask and win the game for is that every team has a chance, no upset teams, Gonzaga and Syracuse, a lot. UNC began to take the lead at The season started to the Hurricanes. Although this loss is matter what seed they are. Anything had an absolute battle that ended up the end of the first half. When the dwindle, and wins became necessary bitter and does put the Bruins playoff can happen. with Cuse beats Gonzaga by only 3 half ended, UNC was up by 5. Then, for the Bruins’ chances of survival contention in serious jeopardy, it is Like every year, the small points. The 1 seed Kansas had at the beginning of the second half and a shot at the Stanley Cup play- always nice to see Hanifin being able bracket starts out with 68 teams and no problem beating Maryland by UNC seemed to be pulling away go- offs. The month of February was a to score a goal in the big leagues. then works its way down to 1. The 16. Nova killed 3 seed Miami by 23 ing up by double digits at one point. strong month for the Bruins. They Now the Bruins are tied first round this year consisted of points. Then, in a surprising one that Nova then battled back and took the won eight of the fourteen games with the Flyers for the second place wasn’t that close, Oregon beat Duke lead. They would not go down after 8 big upsets. Probably the biggest and snatched a point for an overtime wild card spot and tied with the Red by 14. Even though Oregon was a taking the lead for the rest of the of the upsets was when one of the loss. The chances remained prosper- Wings for third place in the Atlantic 1 seed and Duke a 4 seed this game game. Every time they seemed like favorites to possibly win the tourna- ous for the spot in the playoffs as Division, all with 91 points. But, the ment Michigan State lost to Middle was definitely supposed to be a little they were going to pull away, UNC the Bruins continued their winning closer. Finally, Oklahoma beat Texas would hit big shot after big shot and one downside is that the Bruins only Tennessee by the score of 90 to 81. streak into the month of March. The have two more games remaining in The other big upsets were Northern A&M by 14. stay in the game. At the end of the B’s earned twelve points in their first Next, as you might have game, UNC seemed the season as opposed to the four Iowa beating Texas in a close 3 point seven games of March, five of those games for the Flyers and the three battle, Yale topping Baylor, Wichita guessed, was the elite 8. None of to be making a push for the lead and games being wins. The season started games for the Red Wings. With the State over Arizona, Hawaii beat- these 4 games were close at all, even Nova seemed to be losing all their to become optimistic again after the lack of opportunities for the Bruins ing Cal, Gonzaga over Seton Hall, though a few of the scores might say momentum. It looked as though UNC something else. The most surprising was going to take the lead and then team’s rocky beginning. But, these to pick up points throughout the rest AR-Little Rock topping Purdue, and wins did not last long. then shocker SF Austin blowing out one was the upset of 10 seed Cuse get the win. Down 3 point with 4 of the season, a Bruins playoff spot beating UVA and stamping their seconds left UNC’s Marcus Paige hit The Bruins then went on a seems to be a sort of myth for Boston West Virginia by 14 points. Also, not five game losing streak, a group of surprisingly, all four of the number 1 ticket to the final four, which not a lot one of the best shots in the history of fans. costly loses during the end of the sea- seeds survived the first round. of people thought was going to hap- march madness to tie the game at 74. It has been awhile since son. These loses dropped them down The second round did not pen. UNC beat Notre Dame by 14. At this point Nova called a timeout we’ve been able to see the Bruins in the rankings and added much more come with many surprises besides Oklahoma topped 1 seed Oregon by and everyone thought that the game battle it out in the playoffs and have two. The first and probably the 12. was going into OT. However this was pressure on to their next few games serious success against their oppos- biggest one was when number 11 Both games in the final four not the case with one of the greatest at whether or not they’d be able to ing teams. And so, it appears Boston Gonzaga killed number 3 Utah by were pretty much a joke. Syracuse’s finishes ever Nova’s Kris Jenkins continue playing past the regular is going to have to retire their Bruins 23 points. Utah just did not come to Cinderella run ended as UNC beat hit an unbelievable game winning season. The last five games became jerseys for a couple of months and play and got flat out embarrassed in them by 17. Then Oklahoma got 3 with 0 seconds to make Villanova must wins for the Bruins if they were put their Red Sox baseball hats back that game. Then, Wisconsin topped absolutely embarrassed by Villanova the 2016 college basketball national wishing to salvage themselves from on again. Go Sox. Xavier, who was a 2 seed, in a close losing to them by 44 whole points. champions. the past losing streak. ARROWS Updates Vol LXIX No. 6 St. Sebastian’s School April 2016 Spring Sports Season Starts with Snow ing challenges and to help them live ed by the younger players. By Andrew Elcock ‘17 up to their potential. On the JV-side, Sailing, facing flagging a crop of juniors provide a backbone membership, took the radical step of Every year, as the weather for the team, led by Coaches Digan merging with a girl’s team to revive starts to warm up and the snow and Diggs, and the team seems set for interest and fill the boats. Thus far, begins to melt, students break out victory. they are only the second team in Sebs their lacrosse sticks and baseball bats Baseball, led by Connolly, history to do so, with the first spot and head out to the fields, at long last Piacenza and McCann, and managed going to the swim team. The team back outside for their sports. But by Joe O’Malley and Matt Karpow- is led by junior John Petro, who has although spring sports may have icz (member of the basketball 1,000 been a member for years. A range of begun, it still feels like winter. The point club), has their own quality young kids fill out the ranks, totaling season began strong after spring group, including juniors Tommy five total students from Sebs. The break, with a series of beautiful days Seidl, Blake Gallagher, and Timmy team is led by Ms. Rynne and Fr. and lively practices. A snow storm DiFiore, and seniors Sean Harrington Arens, both of whom have coached on April 4th, however, put a halt to and Mike “Doug” Calabro. The the sailing team for years. Unfortu- practice for a while, and the practice snow hit the team hard, as they’ve nately, due to inclement weather, the season has just begun to pick back The greatest student council candidate of all time: Pedro. been confined to the gym for practice team has not yet hit the water, and up. Nonetheless, even after only a in the batting cages, and they were have mostly worked out in the weight couple weeks, it’s clear that this year A New Era: StudCo Election Season forced to postpone their upcoming room. is shaping up to be one for the record game against Dexter indefinitely. Finally, the Ultimate team, Campaign would envy. He had the books. From lacrosse’s formidable By Stevie Karol ‘17 As such, the team has not faced off also known as the Ultimate Frisbee most Student Council experience out starting lineup to sailing’s exciting On Monday, April 11th, the against another school in a real game, team, also known as “The New of anyone running, and he used this and radical merger with Ursuline but their practices look promising. Kids on the Block, But Not, Like, annual St. Sebastian’s Student Council Academy, the season ahead looks “proven leadership” to his advantage. The JV team is the definition of a the Band.” The team was founded elections were held. In stark con- bright. Even the plucky newcomer Clad in an elegant tuxedo and reading squad, coached by Steve “Living by spanish-turned-science teacher trast to last year’s elections, this year to the scene, the Ultimate team, has from a binder given to him by the Legend” Thomasy, Stefan “The Mr. Brown, who played the sport in presented multiple people competing a veteran squad ready to win an ISL United States Capitol itself, O’Malley Puppetmaster” Cressotti and Andrew college. The team is primarily made for the positions of President and Vice title or two. delivered his proposals and jokes with “Literal Pitching Machine” Beaule, up of seniors, with one junior and President, while Evan Reddick ran un- The lacrosse team’s lineup aplomb. Eliciting near-constant laugh- and headed up by seniors Jimmy a few sophomores. Burgeoned by opposed for Secretary. For President, couldn’t be more threatening. With a ter from that morning’s no-doubt tough Ryan and Matt Eldridge. their age and experience, and led by brave Sophomore Matthew Wolpe ran slate of juniors already committed to crown, he left the podium with some Golf is a relatively senior captain Owen Finnegan, the team has against Juniors Andrew Elcock, Will college for the sport, including Mikey of the audience in tears from laughing, team, and as such underwent relative- made use of their limited practice op- Evans, and Joe O’Malley. For the po- Connolly to Dartmouth and John Pi- others in tears from his awe-inspiring ly little change this year. Varsity has portunities to grow into a superiorly sition of Vice President, Sam Cullen, atelli to Cornell, the lax team is pre- reforms, and some in tears due to their only one empty spot, and prevailing athletic team. With Ultimate rapidly Sam Gordon, and Thaddeus Kennedy pared to win. And so far, they’ve just utter sadness that all of their choices consensus is that, although tryouts growing within the ISL, the team done that, beating Phillips Exeter in battled it out. are currently ongoing, the spot will now has the opportunity to claim for president quoted Donald Trump at a nail-biting 7-6 game and Roxbury The much loved tradition be filled by sophomore Mario Oliva, the title of “Best in League” if they least three times. Latin. However, they’ve got a tough was no doubt one of the most competi- who was injured the previous season. beat challengers Nobles and Milton After O’Malley, Sopho- set of games coming up, including tive in the School’s history, evident Seniors Alejandro Soto and Robert Academy. more Matthew Wolpe attempted to games on the road against Nobles and through the pre-election polling Lemone both won an ISL all-league Despite the rocky start, the spread his high ratings amongst the Groton in the near future. Coaches and the positive reactions to every honor last year, and the golf team spring season is already looking to be sophomore class into the rest of the Weihman and Martin are working speech. Candidates fought over seems poised to win the ISL this year one of the best in recent memory. school. Despite his apparent underdog hard to prepare the team for the com- Donald Trump jokes, battled with Mr. under their leadership, and augment- status and low early polling numbers, Sullivan to keep controversial remarks the Wolpe Campaign gained traction in speeches, and competed against heading into the election, and he soon friends for the ultimate student leader- became slated as a serious threat to the ship position this school has to offer. O’Malley Campaign after an impres- The morning of speeches sive showing amongst younger voters began with a bold Trump mockery and the superdelegates (Mr. Lawler, by Andrew Elcock. He promised the Mr. Cleary, Ms. Gilman, and Mrs. students a greater variety of after- Atwood). During his entire speech, school snacks, more freedom on their Matt Desisto stood beside him holding cellphones, and an “absolute win- a poster of his long-lost-twin, Kenny ner” as their supreme, red baseball from We’re the Millers, as Wolpe ran hat-wearing ruler. Andrew did a through his strategic case for why the dutiful job capturing the Trump-ego, student body should elect someone as and proved himself to be a serious inexperienced and young as its leader. contender for the crown. Following After the Presidential candidates were Andrew’s well-received remarks, Will through, the three Vice Presidents Evans presented a similar speech, Yes, we know this picture is from two years ago. Nonetheless, spring teams hope for successful presented their speeches. Sam Cullen, where he pledged to construct a wall recently dethroned from his leadership seasons, but first they have to hope the weather gets as nice as it looks in these photos. between the Spanish and Latin depart- position in the Neuroscience Net- ments (and “force the Spanish depart- work, was first in line. He delivered ment to pay for it”), before presenting Let’s Groove: 70’s Dance Review a largely adlibbed speech. While the some major reforms for school dances. written material was intended to be a young David Bowie.” - Everyone quintessentially dad about the 70s Will’s comments about the wall landed serious, his ad libs about “constantly at the dance. dance; the music just reminds you that him in some hot water and a Spanish Matt Wolpe ‘18 and twitching” and how the student body “Z guy..It’s Sebs. Buncha at one point, perhaps during prehis- Department representative, who has should vote for him “under no cir- sweaty guys, a few gals… I don’t toric times, your parents were high asked to remain nameless, was “not Jack Kerwin ‘18 cumstances” turned even his speech know what more I could ask for.” schoolers, too. It’s a night to relive a pleased” with the remarks. Neverthe- into a hilarious and quite memorable -James Orscheln, Junior past that we never lived through. A less, Will Evans held his own amongst As the sun began to set one. After Cullen, the other Sam took In the weeks prior to this night to celebrate the 70s dance and tough competition that was only get- Friday evening, the legendary St. his place at the podium. Using his annual gathering, some called for a everything so uncomfortable and ting tougher. Sebastian’s 70’s dance once again “incredible powers of manipulation,” change in the decade of the dance. quirky about it. After Evans, Joe O’Malley struck Needham and the surrounding he showcased reforms including a Some proposed 60s, others 50s This year’s dance, as several took the stand. Joseph O’Malley en- greater Boston area. Boys and girls middle school dance, and adding water Some even wanted to venture back to students remarked, was a banger. But tered into the race with high approval lined up on Greendale Avenue, with bottle-fillers. the early 30s, where voiceless songs it will only be topped by next year’s ratings and an even higher energy $8 crumpled up in their palms, ready After Sam Cullen and Sam reigned superior over the music remarkable showing, where Sebs will level behind his campaign, evidenced for the night they had been anticipat- Gordon, Thaddeus Kennedy took marketplace. But the student council usher in newcomers to the 70s dance through steady polling numbers that ing for 364 days. the stand. Before he said anything rallied together and realized that the but hold true to the same values that only suffered a dip during Decem- When the sun finally set, at all, the crowd began to laugh at 70s dance is the only decade that can make the 70s dance lit. Every. Single. ber of last year. O’Malley energized the disco balls hung like cheap chan- Thad’s confused look. Although his ever be celebrated at Sebs. Year. Count on it. 70s dance in a young and older voters alike, forming deliers. The DJ banged classic joints reforms were serious and his jokes There is something so couple. a coalition that even the ‘08 Obama from The Bee-Gee’s “Stayin’ Alive” sparse, Thaddeus perhaps drew more to Michael Jackson’s “Billie Jean” all laughter from the crowd than any the way to Gloria Gaynor’s classic other candidate. He, too, proposed a “I Will Survive.” Yes Gloria, you middle-school dance in his record-long will survive and so will this banging seven-minute speech. classic. To make the night even more After some mudslinging legendary, the 70’s dance appeared to and political jousting, the O’Malley have topped previous records, with and Kennedy campaigns came out on a 4:1 guy-girl ratio. This tops the top. No one could compete with the previous 30 year low of an 11:1 ratio, intricate wit of Thaddeus, or the flashy which we just can’t complain about. showmanship of Joe. This election With that being said, some memora- was truly an unpredictable and con- ble quotes from students and faculty troversial one (perhaps even a parallel alike need to be recognized. to our current Presidential Election), “The dance? Zoney time and this election day will go down guy, I had a blast.” - David Labow in infamy as the day two brave men A snapshot of what you might have seen at the 70’s dance, although, based on eyewitness (sophomore class VP). overcame all odds and cruel slander “Guy, I looked and felt like testimony, there may be more girls in this photo than actually attended the dance. to become supreme rulers of the elite Lacrosse: Baseball: Spring W (scrimmage) @ W (Scrimmage) Season Loomis Chafee 14-8 vs. BH 6-1 W vs. Exeter 7-6 Varsity W vs. Nobles 1-0 Blake Gallagher: W. vs RL 8-5 Results No Hitter L @Nobles 6-8