Scottish Life

March 2018 Volume 15 Issue 2

Scottish National MEMBERS AREA 24 HOUR HELPLINE WEBSITE News WWW.GASCOTLAND.ORG username: member

GA SCOTLAND 0370 050 8881 password: 125tep5 SCOTTISH LIFE

Hello Fellowship, What an amazing response again this month from all over When Anyone, Anywhere, At Any Scotland. The commitment shown to the Scottish Life is very Time, Reaches Out much appreciated. Please accept my apologies for the delay in For Help, printing and many thanks to Angie for her assistance. I hope I Want the Hand of everyone is looking forward to a great summer this year One Day GA and at a Time. Please keep your contributions coming for the June Gam-Anon edition which will incorporate the theme of ‘A New Life’ Always To Be EDITORIAL There; Many Thanks and have a Happy New Day-Pam And For That I Am Responsible.

Useful Numbers as of 01/06/2014 Citizens Advice Scotland Debt Advice Centre Aberdeen 01224 569 750 Aberdeen 01224 523 738 Dumfries 0300 303 4321 Dumfries 0800 019 1278 Dundee 01382 307 494 Dundee 01382 431 167 Edinburgh 01315 548 144 Edinburgh 0131 200 2360 Falkirk 01324 626070 Falkirk 01324 506735 Glasgow 0141 552 5556 Glasgow 0808 801 1011 Inverness 0844 4994 111 Highland 0800 090 1004 Perth 01738 450580(1) Perth 01738 450580 Saltcoats 01294 467 848 Saltcoats 08001383328 What to take with you to the Citizens Advice Bureau www.cas.org.uk/bureaux You should not delay seeking advice even if you haven't got all the information listed below. In some cases there may be only a limited time in which to take certain action. It is important that the adviser who deals with your problem has as much information about your case as possible. (It may take longer to deal with your case if you cannot provide the relevant information)

Debt/money problems  Details of your income G.A. Scotland Website  Details of all those that you owe money to (creditors) Members Pages  Copy of original agreements Username member Password 125tep5  Copy of any court papers  Proof of income  Wage slips/benefit/tax credit details  Details of household expenditure/bills (food, utilities, etc.)  Copy of the latest correspondence you have received

Housing problems

 Tenancy agreement/letters from your landlord (for rented accommodation)  Mortgage details (if applicable)  Title deeds (for owner occupiers)  Proof of income  Wage slips/benefit/tax credit details

If you have any relaxing pictures that you would like to see on the cover of the Scottish Life please send them in with your story.

If you are affected by someone else’s gambling then Gam-Anon can help. Gam-Anon meetings are for the friends and families who have been affected by a gambling problem. You are not alone. Gam-Anon can help and support the partner, relative or friend of any compulsive gambler. Our gambling and its consequences, sometimes affects those around us. Gam-Anon provides support and encouragement for the families and friends of compulsive gamblers, and helps them to understand the problem and to help overcome it.

Please email: [email protected] (or contact the G.A. office)

Literature

o Deviations along the road to Recovery o GA Manual o GA Handbook (orange) o Who Am I? o Towards Recovery In Prison o Unity Checklist o The 12 Steps Of Recovery o Towards 90 Days o Newcomers Handbook o Beyond 90 Days o The 12 Steps Of Unity o Sponsorship Booklet o Climbing The 12 Steps Please ask your group Secretary for any literature you require

WEBTEAM

Every Group Secretary should now have their group’s new email address: [email protected]

This allows group emails to be sent anonymously and members do not need to use their own personal email addresses which could identify them or their workplace.

As Group Secretaries change then only the password needs to change for the new secretary as they take over the address. This means that there will be 1 address only for each group and the office can easily manage the mailing list. The email account can be set up on any smartphone, tablet, pc, mac or even on any browser via webmail.

It is important that your group has this set up, please check with your Secretary if this

has been set up and working otherwise your group may not receive important information.

Email [email protected] if you still require your groups email to be set up.

VENUE CHANGE

Shawlands Thursday Meeting Will Be In New Premises Pollockshaws Methodist Church 74 Shawholm Crescent Pollockshaws Glasgow G43 1LH From 8th Feb 2018

NOTICES

Volunteers Required For Therapies.

Many of you know our friend Chet who mans the Live Chat from Michigan, U.S.A. Chet attended Gamblers Anonymous in Scotland for many years and helped many people in their recoveries.

His meeting is a small one and he is looking for volunteers to attend the meeting via FaceTime to do a therapy for the benefit of the members there. A few members have already taken part and it is well worth it. INTERESTED IN HELPING? All you need is an ‘Apple product, internet connection and a bit of time to give back. Get in touch. Have a great weekend. Alan (Perth)

Conference Call Meeting Sunday Evening from 7pm-8pm

For Compulsive Gamblers Who Cannot Attend A Regular Meeting Due To Working, Living Abroad, Living In Outlying Areas. Or Geographically Due To Transport Issues Cannot Attend Meetings.

The Meeting Is Not For Members Who Don’t Fancy the Idea of Going to a Meeting and Would Prefer To Dial In;

Those Members Will Not Be Given Any Info on the Meeting

(This Will Be Explained At the Time of Asking)

The Editor reserves the right of refusal on all submissions and may shorten/amend articles where appropriate. Views and opinions reflected in articles in the Scottish life (GA) are not necessarily the aims and ideals of GA or the Editor. !

Life - Poem by Charlotte Brontë

LIFE, believe, is not a dream So dark as sages say; Oft a little morning rain Foretells a pleasant day. Sometimes there are clouds of gloom, But these are transient all; If the shower will make the roses bloom, O why lament its fall ?

Rapidly, merrily, Life's sunny hours flit by, Gratefully, cheerily, Enjoy them as they fly !

What though Death at times steps in And calls our Best away? What though sorrow seems to win, O'er hope, a heavy sway ? Yet hope again elastic springs, Unconquered, though she fell; Still buoyant are her golden wings, Still strong to bear us well. Manfully, fearlessly, The day of trial bear, For gloriously, victoriously, Can courage quell despair!

‘There is no other way to change something or someone for the better Except to occupy it first; the only person you can occupy is yourself. That is why the only person who can change you for the better is you. Without your decision to change and Your commitment to change, You will not change’

Lewis Partick Tuesday

I started gambling just before I was about to become a dad, nearly eight years ago, as I wanted more money to support the family. I was going to the bookies every day and I very quickly got hooked on roulette machines which made things a lot worse. I was lying all the time, stealing money and had numerous credit cards maxed out to the limit. I wasn’t sleeping properly and eventually I had to confess as I had nothing left and didn’t know what to do.

My wife Louise was obviously angry and upset but decided to stick by me as long as I got help. Eventually I came to Gamblers Anonymous and realised I HAD HOPE and that there are a lot of people similar to me with the same problems. Unfortunate- ly I didn’t do things correctly and was still very selfish and wanted to do it my way. This was obviously foolish as I had a couple of gambles which made me feel awful. I nearly lost Louise and our daughter Erin.

Now being two years free of gambling I know what I have to do to continue having a great life. I have to be a good father, son and friend. I have learned that so long as I am honest, willing and open minded I have a chance. G.A. is a great support to me and I thank everyone who has helped me A Day at a Time

______

Michael- Dennistoun Tuesday

I recently returned to Gamblers Anonymous after over a year out the door and a sustained period of ‘full on’ gambling. I sat in G.A. rooms’ years ago and heard the horror stories from members, and thought: wow, I’m not that bad; I only lost a few quid; he is ‘aff his heed! etc. However, I have proved that once I leave G.A., I cross the invisible line into nonstop gambling. I became “that bad”. My life was on hold from the time I left the fellowship, as the urge to gamble was too strong and I needed to perform whenever I had the means. Fast forward nearly a year and I have a normal life. It’s brilliant. I can afford a coffee at work; concentrate when reading a book; look to the future and I have my ambition and motivation for life back. All I’ve been asked is to do is commit myself to G.A, and make it a part of my life. I attend a couple of meetings a week and speak at nearly every one. I need to remind myself of eighteen months ago-running about with the petrol light on for months at a time and heed bursting. That’s not how I want to live my life. I want to take part in life and control my own destiny. Life is too short. My desire to not gamble and for G.A. is very high at the moment. I need to keep speaking and being honest with myself to keep it this way.

‘You need to make a commitment, and once you make it, then life will give you some answers’

Paul Perth

Hello everyone, great to see so many contributions coming into the Scottish life after it was discussed at the national meeting in December... excellent effort from all groups, a fellowship I’m proud to be a part of. I was just wanted to write a wee note to let the magazine know how I was doing, I had written into the Scottish Life two years ago-struggling to get my head around going back gambling after a good few years of recovery and wasn’t sure how I was go to get back on track!

Well two years on and I have amazing things happening in my life. it’s no coincidence that my recovery has been its best in years, down to hard work, listening and learning in meetings and not letting my ego think I know it all after a bit of recovery. I can’t thank Gamblers Anonymous and everyone involved in the fellowship enough. I have attended meetings all across Scotland last year and have got out my comfort zone by putting my hand up and sharing and it is doing my recovery the world of good, I’m working at the steps and not jumping from step to step or two stepping as some people would call it.... but most of all I’m trying to do more of step twelve.

I plan on continuing into the New Year with the same mind set and if I can better my recovery a day at a time and help as many of my friends in recovery- it will be a great year.....

______

STEP3. Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of this Power of our own understanding. (Climbing the Twelve Steps)

This step is only possible after the ADMISSIONS of step one and the WILLINGNESS of step two. If you cannot yet give yourself fully to GA then look again at the first steps and talk about your reluctance in the meetings. A firm foundation is essential for a strong recovery.

Decisions, decisions, I had spent my life avoiding them, and now I was being asked to hand over my whole life to something, but what was it? I had absolutely no idea. I knew that I had stopped gambling for the first time in my life by sharing and listening in the GA room. The problems I had caused had not gone away, but there was definitely SOMETHING outside of me that was helping me one day at a time. So I took a chance, and decided to let this SOMETHING into my life. I was nervous and expected to get hurt and laughed at, but it did not happen. All I had done was to make a decision. Nothing had changed except my attitude. I was on the way!

DECIDE to let go and to believe that there is a better way of life possible through the Recovery Programme.

Alan Saturday Morning Rutherglenl

My Gambling Life

I had done it again, I had lost one hundred and twenty pounds in the bookies, I was sure the machine was going to pay out. I had won five hundred pounds on previous occasions and was sure I was going to win again. But no, I lost all my bill and food money that was supposed to last me for the next two weeks. I was a broken man with tears streaming down my face. It was January 1st 2016.

The start of a new year and I was in real financial hardship because of my gambling. It was on fixed odds betting terminals that I had lost my money within the bookies, but I also bet on horses and greyhounds. I even bet on football, golf, basketball and ice hockey. This I would do online with different gambling sites. I would bet online any time of the day or night on these sports, as well as on slots, blackjack and roulette. It was becoming a full-time job to me, and it made me feel terrible both physically and mentally.

I knew I had to do something about my gambling; I had maxed out three credit cards and had four pay day loans on the go. I googled Gamblers Anonymous, phoned the helpline and was advised to get to a meeting. It happened to be right round the corner from my house, which was quite ironic that during my years of gambling I had walked by the G.A. office thousands of times [n my way to the bookies.

My first meeting was on a Tuesday night. The people were very welcoming and offered me the hand of friendship. They were all so happy and content while I was a nervous, quivering wreck. I got through my first meeting and was told to keep coming back. I had a great sense of relief talking to fellow compulsive gamblers about my life.

I had hope in my life for the first time in many years and felt really good inside.

I’ve been attending G.A. for twenty months now and have learned that gambling is an emotional, mental and spiritual illness which I can arrest A Day at a Time. I’ve sorted out my debt, my daughter is back in my life and I’ve stopped smoking and drinking. I’ve joined the gym and embarked on a college course all thanks to G.A. God grant me the Serenity to accept the things I cannot change. Courage to change the things I can. And the Wisdom to know the difference

My name is Alan, I am a compulsive gambler and I have no gambling to declare.

‘When you're surrounded by people who share a passionate commitment around a common purpose, anything is possible’

Step Three: The only requirement for GA membership is a desire to stop gambling.

1. In my mind do I prejudge some new G.A. members as losers?

2. Is there some kind of gambler whom I privately do not want in my G.A. group?

3. Do I set myself up as a judge of whether a newcomer is sincere or not?

4. Do I let language, religion (or lack of it), race, education, age or other such things interfere with my carrying the message?

5. Am I over impressed by a celebrity? By a doctor, a member of the clergy, an ex- convict? Or can I just treat this new member simply and naturally as one more sick human like the rest of us?

6. When someone turns up at G.A. needing information or help (even if they can’t ask for it aloud), does it really matter to me what they do for a living? Where they live? What their domestic arrangements are? Whether they have been to G.A. before? What their other problems are?

STEP THREE: Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of this Power of our own understanding.(The Twelve Steps) Here is where the door to the Recovery Programme is starting to open. The first two steps asked you to believe and accept. Step three calls for willingness to do something, and to turn away from self- will. This is the way to a faith in G.A. that works. The conclusions of Step one and Step two require acceptance. Step three requires positive action. Like all the remaining steps, Step three calls for affirmation action; for, only by action is self-will, which has always blocked the entry of God or a Higher Power into our lives, cut away.

Faith alone cannot accomplish this step. Therefore, our problem now becomes just how and by what means shall we be able to let this Power in. The effectiveness of the whole G.A Programme rests upon how well and earnestly we have tried to come to the decision of turning our will and lives over to the care of God, as we understand Him. This step is extremely difficult. No matter how much one desires, how can a person turn his will and his life over to the care of a God of his understanding? Fortunately, those who have tried with equal misgivings can affirm that anyone can begin to do it. A beginning, even the slightest, is all that is needed. Once we have acted with willingness, results will happen. Self-will may attempt to assert itself from time to time, but we can persist in our new attitude. Perhaps this sounds ridiculous, but let us examines how practical it really is.

Every man and woman who joins G.A. and intends to remain in the fellowship has, without realising it, made a beginning to Step three. Is it not true that in all matters of gambling, each has decided to turn his or her life over to the care, protection, and guidance of Gamblers Anonymous? Willingness has been evinced to cast out one’s own will and one’s own wishes about the gambling problem in favour for those suggested by G.A. All willing new members feel that G.A. is the only safe way to restore sanity and a normal way of life. This is turning your will and life over to a Power greater than yourself.

Suppose the urge to gamble cries out, as it certainly will? Do you not depend upon G.A. and its meetings to arrest this urge? Yes, of course. Many of us have the idea that we can handle all other problems and maintain our great egos. Thus our spiritual development is handicapped. This kind of thinking takes no real account of the facts. The more we become willing to depend upon a Higher Power, the more independent we actually become. Many, perhaps all of us, have been slaves to gambling. To free ourselves, we practice the Twelve Steps of Recovery. It is really a means of gaining independence through the love of God and mankind.

Let’s examine, for a moment, this tale of dependence at the level of everyday living. Every modern house has electric wiring carrying power and light to the interior. We are delighted with this and accept this dependence. We trust nothing will ever cut off the supply of current. This makes us feel comfortable and secure.

Consider, too, the polio sufferer confined to an iron lung, dependent totally on the motor to keep the vital life force within him. Yet, the moment our mental or emotional independence is questioned, how differently we behave. We all claim the right to decide for ourselves what we shall think and just how we shall act.

When problems arise, we’ll listen politely to those who advise us but all the decisions are to be ours alone. No one is going to meddle with our personal independence in such matters. There is no one we trust. We are certain that our intelligence and will power will be sufficient and guarantee us success in the world we live in. This type of thinking sounds good, but, how well does it work? Take a good, long look in a mirror. This should be the answer for a compulsive gambler. Each compulsive gambler has had his or her, own fatal encounter with self-will. They have suffered enough under its weight to be willing to look for something better; otherwise, they would not be in G.A., having admitted defeat, acquired faith, or have made the decision to turn their will and lives over to a Higher Power.

Once the willingness has been acquired, they are the only ones who can make the decision to exert themselves. Trying to do this is an act of their will. All the steps, in order to conform to their principles, require sustained and personal exertion; so, we trust to God-will. It is when we try to make our will conform to God’s will that we begin to use it correctly. Once we have come into agreement with these ideas, it is really easy to begin to practice Step three. During times of emotional disturbance or indecision, we can pause, ask for quiet, and in calmness simply say, “God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.”

Davey;

I arrived in Gamblers Anonymous twenty-seven years ago. My first meeting was in Parkhead Church, next door to the Prince Charlie pub, where I stood outside with a packet of crisps and a bottle of coke when I was a kid while my dad was inside having a quick drink ‘Won’t be long’ were the last words he always said- words I was to use in later days of my gambling.

I was brought up with gambling in my family, but it was always something to pass the time, like fun card schools, oh sorry games for the younger ones, small coppers, but all just fun. Horse racing came in the form of the Grand National, also a bit of fun, excitement, call it what you want but all the family joined in, no harm in a bit of fun. That’s all I thought gambling was at a young age, but as I was growing up I started putting horses on with my auld man every Saturday with paper money I earned, same again, just a bit of fun. That’s where I started to hear all the jargon for your horse, being a certainty, get in there ya good thing; this thing canny get beat; it could win wae a monkey oan its back’ followed by yer joking; that Donkey dun me for a treble, should have backed the favourite. There was always an excuse. I started gambling more and more, as I was getting older. I didn’t bother about playing football or going out with the lads, all be it I was a bit on the short side to get into pubs and clubs, even though I tried. At eighteen I still had my boyish good looks but at 5’ 4” with my Cuban heels on it was always an early bath for the wee man.

So Shawfield here I come, free bus from Bridgeton Cross, it doesn’t get any better than that, even though I always paid a kids fare. On the smoke filled bus with auld men and their tips getting spouted out at the top of their voices. Number wan in the first race is a cert wance that hare goes and if it traps the rest have nae chance! That was yer tipster for the night, but it didnae matter- most nights at the dogs ended the same way with me up the road skint. What happened to that cert, well I looked for another one, then another one. Once my wages were done I had to borrow money off of anyone who would lend me some at the time. I never went to banks as there wasn’t anything in it, so it was always people like my auld man, brothers, workmates, anyone. It just became the norm. By this time I was in the betting shop every day, with or without money hoping to get lucky with a tap. all that mattered was the bet, if I had a bet on I always felt I had a chance. A chance of what, I think now, but I know it was just the chance to have another then another, even at that stage there was no way I was in control. It started to get noticed in my home, my work, all my new pals seemed to be in the bookies, as the other ones must have thought this guy’s a chancer always on the tap and never got any money to go out. But it didn’t bother me, it was all about the gambling for me, whether it was the dogs, football, the horses, card schools, pool, snooker, I gambled on everything.

‘You always have two choices: your commitment versus your fear’

As it progressed I started borrowing money, it was lying about the house-it was stealing because it never got back in time. So I was told I had to get help to stop gambling or I was out the house. I probably convinced my mother I would stop by myself, and I did for a very short time. but it didn’t last long, I missed it as I knew I would. I thought I could just put a coupon on and that would be ok. No more horses or dogs because I knew more about football, that was my thinking, guess what? Yer right, I was back where I started. It was just a lifestyle I’d got used to-work all week, gamble, tap people and get skint.

I met Donna, my partner, in work and we seemed to get on well. She knew a good thing when she seen one. Her mum used to say, “He’s a nice boy”, same again her mum knew a good thing when she seen it. That was soon to change. The first night out with Donna was in a club called Panama Jacks where there was a fun night to raise money for the local football team. I was responsible for selling the tickets- yes I gambled all the money and was lying my way through it again, eventually got that sorted and moved on. First time I got Donna involved with my gambling was at Shawfield. Most other guys were taking their girlfriends out for a nice meal, the pictures, or a show, but not me, Shawfield here we come. I remember it like it was yesterday. The only reason was I got a turn that night and I treated Donna to a pie and Bovril and a black hack back home (no free bus required).

Through the weeks and months we didn’t go out much due to me being skint so we would normally just get a carry out which Donna paid for, as I would make up some excuse for having no money again. Life changed when Donna became pregnant with our daughter Cheryl. We got a house together and moved in, so I started to put money in the house for food, coal etc. But I couldn’t sustain that with my gambling, so that’s when the lying just became the norm. Donna waiting at home on a Friday for the pay packet- I would arrive home at all hours, most of the time drunk and skint or with some money I had borrowed just to see Donna alright. But I was always behind the eight ball because I had borrowed from so many people; my head was all over the place. It started to affect me more and more; my moods were all over the place. By this time you could tell if I had won or when I was skint. I got involved in stealing from work and doing lots of things of an antisocial nature and with this came the reputation. Anything that was going on in work that was in the way of dodgy I was always the first to get pulled up- hence the nickname of Shady.

Eventually my gambling and my behaviour cost me my job, so I had to face the music with Donna and that’s when I got the ultimatum (or choice) to do something about my gambling or go. I promised I would stop. Unemployed I went down to the social to get a giro- I felt so embarrassed to be signing on, it’s not the nicest of places. I had always worked, and this just felt like I had failed, a looser. I used to go to work with a shirt and tie, not that I was better than anyone else but that’s how it felt.

‘Mature love is composed and sustaining; a celebration of commitment, companionship, and trust’

I had to start looking for a job with no reference because I had been sacked. I got the odd bit of casual work and the giro-then the work would dry up so, back to the lies and all that time on my hands. I started to gamble the giro, got caught out and threatened with being thrown out again, tears, snotters, the lot. I said I would stop this time and get my act together; yet again I couldn’t sustain that. I started stealing money from my daughter, using bill money, same again I thought I was borrowing it; it is strange how you think when you are in the desperate stages of gambling.

I still remember the day I got caught out, it was the week before Donna’s twenty-first birthday, I had won some money a few weeks before this and gave it to Donna’s dad telling him what a birthday Donna was going to have. But me being me I got the money back off him and gambled it as I thought to have a better birthday than I had planned, yes, you are right, I blew the lot. The day it all came out and I still tried to lie my way out of it, as I knew the result of my actions no doubt this time.

So down to my parents on a Sunday as usual, all the grandkids were there, but as I walked in there was a strange atmosphere. All the kids were put upstairs and I sort of knew what was happening. Cheryl was in her buggy and Donna was taking her out when she asked where everyone was. My dad said ‘I’ve got something to tell you, David has been gambling, haven’t you son’. I stood up and said it was a lie, and Donna backed me up and said I hadn’t been gambling for ages and that it wasn’t true. ‘Is it Davy’? I said yer right Donna. Then I found out my younger brother had told the auld man all about me doing all the money in and that I borrowed the debt money I was supposed to have paid on the Saturday morning. Hackney dogs had been my downfall again. I still lied through my teeth that night, and told Donna I had been out looking for a job as I had left the house at 10:30am that and didn’t get home till 7:00pm. Unknown to me, Donna had been on the phone to my dad in tears-he said at the time that I had been gambling as I hadn’t turned up with the debt money. I had been grilled by Donna and still denied everything. It all came back to bite me that Sunday, Donna put Cheryl back in the buggy and told me it was all over.

As Donna was walking out the door my auld man said there is a place that can help him. Donna sat down, we were both in tears, and I was faced with a choice; go to G.A. or get out the house.

Really there was only one option. Those few days were probably the worst of my life, left with all that guilt, remorse and feeling no good. That’s how I was before going to that place. Thanks G.A.

Wee Davy

Does anybody really think that they didn’t get what they had because they didn’t have the talent or the strength or the endurance or the commitment?

Scott - Ardrossan GA

“Quick Quid, Wonga, Wage day advance, Tooth fairy Finance and the other ten pay lenders I have but I have no money to gamble... what can I do? Maybe I can borrow from a friend? Oh no I can’t because I already told him “The wedding needs a bigger deposit than I thought and they won’t hold the date for us so could you please lend me five hundred?” “Of course Scott happy to help” “Thanks mate!” Nah can’t ask him as I still owe that.

Already had Vanquis, Aqua and Ocean and all the other shitty credit cards but they were included in my trust deed I didn’t pay and was forced to go bankrupt. What about my parents- nah they can’t afford to lend me money. I know what I’ll do, genius, I’ll use my dad’s credit card; he won’t notice a few ten pound deposits coming off. And he didn’t... at least not until there were over a hundred of them and his card was maxed. So yeah I’m stuck and I’m desperate to bet, I’m due a bonus! Surely! I’m out of options... I’m going to have to wait till payday and its only three days away. Ok I’ll just wait ‘till then and I can watch YouTube a lot players for strategy.

It’s the twenty-fourth and it’s half past one ... I’m getting so excited! I can’t wait for this money to arrive. How much will that Montezuma bonus pay this time? Will I get the 10x retrigger? It’s definitely due! The money is in and I’m so excited for this bonus to hit, there is nothing in the world that equals the excitement I feel right now-Nothing. Ok let’s go-fifty quid to start. Lost, dammit ok its due let’s go again. Fifty in Shit.

‘The successful person has the habit of doing the things failures don't like to do. They don't like doing them either necessarily. But their disliking is subordinated to the strength of their purpose’

One hundred in- Come on, how many spins before a bonus, surely its due. Two hundred in- This is getting dangerous now; I need that money back, Ok let’s increase the spins to four pound. Imagine the bonus I’ll get from that. Ok I’m starting to sweat a bit here; my heart rate is through the roof and I’m four hundred down. Ok... all or nothing four hundred deposited. Six pound spins all of morning... come on. Shit... what am I going to do? Calculator out so I can work out exactly what I need to just survive this month. I can afford to miss my child maintenance payments, she doesn’t really need it. The car insurance can wait. I can survive on rice. Oh and the money I owe my friend, he’ll understand my wages got paid into the wrong account. Ok Scott... last three hundred, Yes! Bonus on a six pound spin-Come on! Eighty pound win... surely not, I mean I’m due. What a rip off, must be rigged. Spin, spin, spin until nothing left, completely skint. Heart rate through the roof, Sweating; out of options. There must be a payday lender left I haven’t used. It’s five am and I’m applying for payday loans... nothing. I’m done... What can I do? Shit... I don’t want to do this anymore, never again! Never again! What if I just close my eyes and disappear?

‘Anyone can dabble, but once you've made that commitment, Your blood has that particular thing in it, and it's very hard for people to stop you’

Ok two hours sleep before work tomorrow. Wake up and for a minute I forget what has just happened, I’ve calmed down, I’m a bit cloudy from lack of sleep.

Then like a ton of bricks. Oh crap... I’ve lost everything and I can’t afford to get to work. What am I going to do? I’m beat. I’m exhausted and broken.

“Mum, I need to talk to you... I’m sorry and need help”

______

Paul ‘BUT’

‘But’ was always used in my day to day life-not now... A lot of places we would like to go, a lot of places we would like to experience, a lot of things we would like to do and we just stop at ‘but’ and we build a case. I was reading something the other day it said ‘but’ is an argument for our limitations and when we argue for our limitations we get to keep them.

‘But’ will cause you to procrastinate, ‘but’ will cause you to hide out behind fear, ‘but’ will cause you to come up with all sorts of excuses that you can come up with to invalidate your action and stop you from acting on your dream.

My dream is to stop gambling forever, to win my wife back and learn to be happy while living within my means. I want to learn I don’t need to be as successful as my parents and brother to be happy and content with life.

My name is Paul I’m a compulsive gambler and I’m determined to change my life and help others to do the same. A fellow member advised me to email this across to you guys. I frequently attend the Dunfermline meetings.

Many Thanks

‘Nobility of spirit has more to do with simplicity than ostentation, Wisdom rather than wealth, commitment rather than ambition’

Help Yourself Just for Today

 Just for today I will try to live through this day only and not tackle my whole life problem at once. I can do something for 12 hours that would appal me if I felt that I had to keep it up for a lifetime

 Just for today I will be happy. This assumes to be true what Abraham Lincoln said, that: "most folks are as happy as they make up their minds to be."

 Just for today I will adjust myself to what is and not try to adjust everything to my own desires. I will take each day as it comes and fit myself to it

 Just for today I will try to strengthen my mind. I will study. I will learn something useful. I will not be a mental loafer. I will read something that requires effort, thought and concentration

‘______

Tam Blackburn I received my fifteen year pin back in February this year and I wanted to say a heart- felt thanks to Gamblers Anonymous as a whole but in particular to my base meeting, Blackburn Monday. If someone had told me that back in January 2003 I would still be about and had not gambled I would have told them they were having a laugh. My life has changed so much in that time. Fiona and I were on the verge of separating and she had threatened to leave me with our two year old son on a number of occasions and at one point she did briefly but the false promises and crocodile tears brought her back. She had also left literature for me as well as trying to get me along to a Gamblers Anonymous meeting.

Fast forward fifteen Years and Fiona is my best friend. We spend lots of time together and more importantly we communicate about how we are and what we are thinking. We spoke more in the first three months of me attending G.A. than in the previous twelve years. I think about how coming into the rooms and stopping gambling and you’re left with you and all the baggage with that.

‘You always have two choices: your commitment versus your fear’

So coming into the fellowship and not gambling was going well, it was the character defects that I found most challenging. I had to look at me; the lies, the half-truths and Ego were just some of the issues I had to address. With the knowledge of those that had come before me they were able to point me in the right direction and keep me on the straight and narrow. When I was doing ok they would say I was doing ok and when I wasn’t they would also tell me. Right from the beginning of my G.A. career I have attended two meetings every week, I have visited meeting in the U.S.A. and down south and I don’t think we ap- preciate how lucky we are in central Scotland. I have travelled to meetings all over the country and have met some fantastic people on my journeys. I have heard some incredible stories of success and some not so successful and I suppose that is one of the reasons I meet attending meetings. I know within myself that I am a compulsive gambler and will be forever, I also know that I still have a bet in me, I have seen members good friends go back gambling and I do not want that for me or my family.

I started taking calls on the helpline after about eighteen months through the door and that has been fantastic for my recovery. More recently I have become involved in the Live Chat. I have seen the high numbers of people that go online and then get the chance to speak to another gambler and help them get to a meeting.

The WhatsApp G.A. Scotland and the ‘Meet and Greet’ have been a huge successand new members are getting more support now than ever before. I mentioned at the start of this article my base meeting so I will start by thanking all Blackburn members, however, a couple of years ago now we set up the beginners meeting and that has been a great addition to our meeting. The new members who are coming and sticking around have been tremendous so a big thanks to them for helping me. I would also like to thanks all the visitors that attend the Blackburn meeting, those that come most weeks and those that are less frequent visitors, you all bring something different to our meeting; again, I would like to thanks you all.

Finally, I would like to thank my family and in particular Fiona. Without their support and help I know I would not have been as successful as I have in abstaining from gambling.

My name is Tam and I am a compulsive gambler, no gambling to report.

‘Commitment means that it is possible for a man to yield the nerve centre of his consent To a purpose or cause, a movement or an ideal, Which may be more important to him than whether he lives or dies’

Peter Dundee Thursday

My name is Peter and I am a compulsive gambler

As most of the people reading this will know, our road to recovery includes a se- quence of steps which are spiritual in nature. I am at a point on my virgin journey through this enlightening and lifesaving programme where I feel the willingness, strength and ability to do something which I always felt unable to do in the past-Take responsibility for my own behaviour.

My dad has been dead for twelve years; nevertheless I still have a lot to say to him. I popped up to his grave in Aberfeldy last Sunday. I read a few suitable prayers and then this: I see this as a start, the beginning of a series of things, which in an addiction-free world, would have been said while he was still alive.

Hi Dad.

I have come to see you today in order to forgive you for all of the unacceptable behaviour and actions which you showed towards myself(and other family members) during my formative years in Aberfeldy- I would also like to thank you for the work you did to provide money to enable us all to live during this period.

I would like to apologise for my behaviour as a child.

I always felt the need to escape from the atmosphere created by your alcoholism so I built a dream world for myself as a form of escape; this helped me to deal with our lack of emotional connection. I now realise that you too had an illness which made you act the way you did. It was not through a lack of love for us or neglect that you displayed negative behaviour towards your family members.

I understand that hurt people, hurt people and that you too were treated badly by your father.

All of my actions were/are down to ME and were/are MY way of coping.

I will pray for you.

Craig – Blackburn Monday I’ve pondered where to start with this article for a while now, and after much consid- eration, I felt it right to use my first ever Scottish Life article to pay some sort of homage to the place that has me where I am today. What do I mean by that? Well, nearly five months ago I attended my first Gamblers Anonymous meeting at Blackburn Monday, and that now natural feeling of the hand of friendship was ex- tended to me in the car park before I even entered the room. I drove into the car park that night, convinced I was entering a cold, dark, dingy and lonely environment full of losers and boozers. I stepped out the car, shook someone’s hand and by the time I entered the building had hope I was entering something quite different to that. Upon entering the room, that hope was realised. A warm, welcoming, fun filled environment, littered with laughter and smiles and men and woman who seemed comfortable in their life. Where was the lack of manage- ment I had in my life? Where was the pain? Where was the guilt? All I could see was what I would learn was recovery. I wanted some of it. I left the meeting that night with hope. I’d attended the beginners, and answered fifteen of the twenty questions, which on reflection should have been more. I’d heard a therapy which didn’t relate to my type of gambling, but I could still relate to the individual sharing. We shared similar character traits-the majority of them defects. That said, this individual has turned their life around, as had many others by the sounds of things? How? I wanted to find out for myself. I immediately opened up contact with a few members from my meeting and got along to another meeting later in the week. Again, the room was warm and full of recovery and more ‘strangers’ were offering their hand of friendship. I was already sensing this was the place for me. I got stuck in. I was told to get to two meetings a week, and that’s what I did. Slowly but surely the pain of my destruction just weeks or months ago seemed to be dwin- dling. The love and enjoyment of my home life seemed to be growing again, to the point where my parents felt like they had a son again and I felt like I had parents. In addition to that, for the first time in months, I felt like I was being a partner to my girl- friend again. Nearly five months down the line, my recovery is coming on leaps and bounds. I’ve never wavered from at least two meetings a week and on occasions have exceeded that. My application across all areas of my life including family engagement and work has changed immeasurably, all as a result of the recovery I am building in G.A.

‘You can do anything you decide to do. You can act to change and control your life; And the procedure, the process, is its own reward’

There may only be a letter of a difference, but within five months, I feel as though I have transformed myself from living my lie, to living my life. Someone in G.A. said to me ‘your life doesn’t need to have started on the day you were born; your life can start any time’. I firmly believe that my life began truly on the 6th November 2017. I’ll continue to take my recovery One Day at a Time, and ‘Just for today I will not gamble’. My names Craig, I’m a compulsive gambler and I’ve got no gambling to report. ______

Gambling (Taken from the big blue GA book-Sharing recovery through Gamblers Anonymous)

Gambling, for the compulsive gambler as defined by the fellowship of GA: “Any betting or wagering, for self or others, whether for money or not, no matter how slight or insignificant, where the outcome is uncertain or depends upon chance or skill constitutes gambling. Compulsive gambling, very simply, is gambling which is beyond the emotional control of the gambler” ______

April 1st Reflection For The Day from the G.A. Blue Book

If we don’t want to slip, we’ll avoid slippery places. For the gambler, that means shunning poker parties and race tracks and anywhere that gambling is taking place. For me, certain emotional situations can also be slippery places; so can indulgence in old ideas, such as a well-nourished resentment that is allowed to build to explosive proportions.

Do I carry the principles of the Gamblers Anonymous program with me wherever I go?

Today I Pray

May I learn not to test myself to harshly by “asking for it,” by stopping in at the casino, the bingo hall or the track. Such “testing” can be dangerous, especially if I am egged on, not only by a craving for the old object of my addictions, but by others still caught in addiction whose moral responsibility has been reduced to zero.

Today I Will Remember

Avoid slippery places.

Day Group Address Time Comments Secretary Email Glasgow Parkhead Congregational Church, 77 Westmuir Street, Enter Ravel Row Mon 10:00 - 12:00 *[email protected] (Parkhead) Glasgow, Glasgow City G31 5EW Side Moray College, Moray Street, Elgin, Moray IV30 1JJ Side Elgin 18:30 - 20:30 [email protected] Entrance Beside Room, Separate From Main Entrance Dunfermline Touch Community Centre, 30 Mercer Pl, KY11 4UG 19:10 - 21:15 Beginners 18:30 [email protected] Edinburgh Methodist Church The Square Centre, 25 Nicolson Square, 19:15 - 21:15 [email protected] (City Centre) EH8 9BX Greenock The Salvation Army Hall, 57 Regent St, Greenock PA15 4NP 19:15 - 21:15 [email protected] Beechbank Community Centre, Wester Mavisbank Ave, Airdrie 19:30 - 21:30 [email protected] Airdrie, ML6 0HE Ardrossan Civic Centre, Cumbrae Room 150 Glasgow st, , KA22 8EU 19:30 - 21:30 [email protected] Blackburn Blackburn and Seafield Church, 41 East Main St, EH47 7QR 19:30 - 21:30 [email protected] Carlisle Church of Scotland , Chapel St. CA1 1JA 19:30 - 21:30 [email protected] Clydebank Radnor Parish Church, Radnor Park Spencer Street, G813AS 19:30 - 21:30 (off Killbowie Rd) [email protected] Cumbernauld Greenfaulds Meeting Rooms, Lochinvar Rd, G67 4AR 19:30 - 21:30 *[email protected] Dundee St Andrews Parish Church, 2 King St., Dundee, DD1 2JB 19:30 - 21:30 Gam-Anon 19:30 [email protected] Glasgow Gam-Anon 19:30 Anderston Kelvingrove Parish Church 759 Argyle St, G3 8DS 19:30 - 21:30 [email protected] (Anderston) (Big Monday ) Glasgow Blessed John Duns Scotus R C Church, 270 Ballater St G5 0YT 19:30 - 21:30 (Wee Monday ) [email protected] (Gorbals) Hurlford The Thistle Pub, 2-4 Riccarton Road, Hurlford, , KA1 5AQ 19:30 - 21:30 Rear of Thistle Pub *[email protected] Enter off Glasgow United Free Church, Crofrtfoot Avenue,Croftfoot, ,G44 5HH 19:45 - 21:30 *[email protected] Carmunnock Road Tue Glasgow Community Central Hall 292-316 Maryhill Road, G20 7YE 14:00 - 16:00 *[email protected] s Edinburgh Colinton Mains Parish Church, 223 Oxgangs Road North, 19:00 - 21:00 *[email protected] (Oxgangs) Edinburgh, EH13 9ED Whitehill Neighbourhood Centre, 9 Hunter Road, Whitehill, Hamilton 19:30 - 21:15 Beginners 1st Half [email protected] Hamilton, ML3 0LH Glasgow St Columbkille's Hall 2 Kirkwood Street Rutherglen G73 2SL 19:30 - 22:00 Room 5 [email protected] Glasgow Our Lady of Good Counsel, Craigpark, G31 2JF Beginners 19:30 - 21:50 [email protected] (Dennistoun) Off Alexandra Parade 18:30 - 19:15 Ruthrieston Community Centre, 532 - 536 Holburn Street Aberdeen 19:30 - 21:30 [email protected] Aberdeen AB10 1LL Coatbridge St Andrews School, Sports Community Centre, ML5 5EA 19:30 - 21:30 *[email protected] Benview Centre, Strathleven Place, Dumbarton, Dumbarton 19:30 - 21:30 [email protected] Dunbartonshire G82 1BA Falkirk Trinity Church, Manse Place, Falkirk FK1 1JN Falkirk 19:30 - 21:30 Steps Meeting [email protected] Please park in street (not church) Glasgow Partick Burgh Hall, Burgh Hall Street, Glasgow, G11 5LW 19:30 - 21:30 . Beginners 19:30 *[email protected] s (Partick) Next to Peel Street Ralston Community Centre, Allanton Ave, Paisley, Beginners Meeting Paisley 19:30 - 21:30 *[email protected] s Renfrewshire PA1 3BL 19:30 Perth Perth Methodist Church, Scott St. Perth PH2 8JN 19:30 - 21:30 Gam-Anon 19:30 [email protected] Edinburgh Wester Hailes Healthy Living Centre, 30 Harvesters Way, Wed 12:30 -14:00 [email protected] (West) Edinburgh EH14 3JF Glasgow Partick Burgh Hall 9 Burgh Hall Street , Lanarkshire G11 5LW 13:00 - 15:00 *[email protected] Glasgow Parkhead Congregational Church 77 Westmuir St G31 5EW 17:00 - 19:00 Enter Ravel Row [email protected] Inverness Raigmore Recreation Centre, 4 Woodside Terrace, IV2 3YW 18:30 - 20:30 [email protected] Glasgow Molendinar Community Centre, 1210 Royston Rd, G33 1HE 19:00 - 21:00 [email protected] (Blackhill) West Linton Castle Craig Hospital Blyth Bridge West Linton, Scottish 19:00 - 20:30 [email protected] (Castle Craig) Borders EH46 7DH Glasgow Beginners 18:30. Neighbourhood Centre 6 Daisy St Glasgow, G42 8JL 19:15 - 21:15 [email protected] (Govanhill) Gam-Anon 19:15 Glasgow Partick Burgh Hall 9 Burgh Hall Street , Lanarkshire G11 5LW 13:00 - 15:00 [email protected] Coatbridge St. Bartholomew's Chapel Hall, 5 Teviot St, ML5 2NS 19:30 - 21:30 [email protected] Kilmarnock Kay Park Parish Church & Halls, 2 London Rd, KA3 7AA, 19:30 - 21:30 [email protected] Kirkcaldy St Bryce Kirk, Saint Brycedale Avenue, Kirkcaldy, KY1 1ET 19:30 - 21:30 [email protected] Peterhead The Rescue Hall, 25 Prince St, , Aberdeenshire AB42 1QE 19:30 - 21:30 [email protected] Entrance Ravel Row Thu Glasgow Parkhead Congregational Church, 77 Westmuir St, G31 5EW 14:00 - 16:00 [email protected] side

Cumbernauld Abronhill Community Centre, 2 Larch Rd, G67 3AZ 19:00 - 21:00 [email protected] 8th Glasgow Pollockshaws Methodist church 74 Shawholm Cresent 19:15 - 21:30 NEW VENUE [email protected] Feb (Shawlands) Pollockshaws Glasgow. G43 1 LH. Dundee St Peter Pauls Church Hall, Milton Street, Dundee, DD3 6QN 19:30 - 22:00 Gam Anon 19:30 [email protected] Erskine Erskine Bridge Hotel, Erskine, , Renfrewshire PA8 6AN 19:30 - 21:50 Floor 5, Room 1 [email protected] The Ally McLeod Hospitality Suite, Somerset Park, Tryfield Entrance via Ayr 19:30 - 21:30 [email protected] Place, Ayr, KA8 9NB Summerset Road East Kilbride East Mains Baptist Church, Maxwell Drive, , G74 4HG 19:30 - 21:30 Beginners 19:30 [email protected] Edinburgh Gam-Anon Meeting City of Edinburgh Methodist Church, 25 Nicolson Sq EH8 9BX 19:30 - 21:30 [email protected] (City Centre) 19:30 Salvation Army Community Church, Main Street, Falkirk 19:30 - 21:30 [email protected] Stenhousemuir, FK5 3JP Glasgow Community Central Hall 292-316 Maryhill Road G20 7YE 19:30 - 21:30 Gam-Anon 19:30 *[email protected] (Maryhill) Glasgow (Off Main Street) St Columbkilles Church Hall, Kirkwood Street, G73 2SL 19:30 - 21:30 *[email protected] (Rutherglen) Room 5 Hamilton Eddlewood Public Hall, Strathaven Rd, Hamilton ML3 8BG 19:30 - 21:30 [email protected] Kelso North & Ednam Parish Church, 42 Bowmont St TD5 Kelso 19:30 - 21:30 [email protected] 7JH (Blue doors on Bowmont Street facing the car park) Livingstone St Andrew's Church, 126 Victoria St Craigshill EH54 5BJ 19:30 - 21:30 *[email protected] s Kilmaurs The Cabin, Townhead, Kilmaurs, KA3 2TY 20:00 - 22:00 Nxt to Wheatsheaf [email protected] Kirkintilloch 29 Townhead, Kirkintilloch, , East Dunbartonshire G66 1NG, 20:00 - 22:00 AR Centre *[email protected] Glasgow Parkhead Congregational Church 77 Westmuir St G31 5EW Beginners Fri 10:00 - 12:00 *[email protected] i (Parkhead) Enter Ravel Row Side 09:00 - 10:00 Dundee Saint Andrew's Parish Church, 2 King Street, DD1 2JB 18:30 - 20:00 Joint Steps Meeting [email protected] Dumfries Dumfries Activity And Resource Centre, 70 Burns StDG1 2PS 19:00 - 21:00 *[email protected] Edinburgh Opposite Kwik Fit & GDS Church, Edgar Hall, Chesser Ave, Edinburgh EH14 1TB 19:00 - 20:30 *[email protected] (Gorgie) RBS Beginners Meeting Glasgow Anderston Kelvingrove Parish Church 759 Argyle St, G3 8DS 19:30 - 21:30 [email protected] 19:30 Gam-Anon 19:30 Glasgow (City Renfield St Stephens Centre, 260 Bath Street, G2 4JP 19:30 - 21:30 Beginners 18:45 - *[email protected] Centre) 19:25 Motherwell St Brendans Church, Barons Rd,l, Lanarkshire ML1 2NB 19:30 - 21:30 [email protected]

Sat Glasgow Dennistoun New Parish Church, 9 Armadale St, G31 2UU 09:00 - 11:00 *[email protected] Ruthrieston Community Centre, 532-536 Holburn St AB10 Aberdeen 09:45 - 11:45 *[email protected] 7LL Edinburgh Beginners Meeting Colinton Mains Parish Church 223 Oxgangs Road EH13 9ED 10:00 - 12:00 [email protected] (Oxgangs) (Separate Room) Glasgow Gam-Anon 10:00 Reuther Hall,Victoria St, Rutherglen, Glasgow G73 1DS 10:00 - 12:00 [email protected] (Rutherglen) Beginners 9-10am Hamilton Ferniegair Hall 150 Carlisle Road , Lanarkshire ML3 7TX 10:00 - 12:00 [email protected] Kirkcaldy Pathhead Parish Church, Harriet St, Kirkcaldy, Fife KY1 2AG 10:00 - 12:00 [email protected] Sun Glasgow Partick Burgh Hall, 9 Burgh Hall Street,, Lanarkshire G11 5LW 11:45 - 13:45 [email protected] Inverness St Mary's Hall, St Mary's Ave, Inverness IV3 5AD 13:00 - 15:00 [email protected] Glasgow Community Central Hall 292-316 Maryhill Rd G20 7YE 18:00 - 20:00 Steps Meeting *[email protected] (Maryhill) Edinburgh St Andrews Church, Easter Rd, Edinburgh, EH6 8HT 18:30 - 20:30 Joint Steps Meeting [email protected] (Leith) Door Opposite Tesco Car Park - Glasgow St Columbkille's Hall, 2 Kirkwood Street,, G73 2SL 19:00 - 21:00 Steps Meeting *[email protected] (Rutherglen) * Group Secretary has not yet set up email address for their group - Please ask Secretary to contact [email protected] as group will stop receiving emails. Please contact [email protected] if any information is incorrect. This information is used to update website etc. and needs to be accurate.

Many Thanks to You for using YOUR TIME to read and contribute to the Scottish Life

YOU HAVE NOT LIVED ……SOMETHING FOR TODAY UNTIL YOU SOMEONE WHO CAN HAVE DONE…… NEVER REPAY YOU

God Grant me the Serenity To Accept the Things I Cannot Change Courage to Change The Things I Can And the Wisdom to Know the Difference

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Gamblers Anonymous Scotland Website

‘Never above you; never below you; always beside you’