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I Gave Cheapass Games $______For This Game! to Learn More, Read the Last Page of This Document, Or Visit Game Details: Europe. Summer. 1997. You and your “friends” have discovered two problems with a common Players: 3 to 6 solution: mad cows in England and unexploded Game Type: Card Game bombs in France. Game Length: 30-45 Minutes What You Get: Unexploded Cow has two decks: a 12-card Mad cows are thick on the ground in England, “city” deck, and a 69-card “cow” deck. The cards are found in and they’re selling cheaper than dirt. So you’ve a single free PDF file, and instructions for making your own decided to spread them thick on the ground in cards are on the last page of this document. France too, by giving them a patriotic pep talk and setting them loose in the no-man’s land What Else You Need: You will need one 6-sided die, and some money. You need to be able to give every player behind the Cordon Rouge. €5000, in denominations no smaller than 100. If you must, you can use play money instead of the real thing. The upside? You’re ridding England of insane We suggest using the following setup for each player. cows and their tainted meat, ridding France of You will find a suggested full bank recipe on the last page. unwanted leftover bombs, and (just maybe) mak- Starting Money ing some money on the side. The downside? Denom Qty Eventually someone’s going to catch you. €100 5 €200 5 So round up your herd, drive them through the €500 3 Chunnel, and set them loose in La Belle France. If €1000 2 Total: €5000 you’re lucky you’ll make a little money before Greenpeace shuts you down. The Basics: You and your opponents will be building herds of cows, marching them through dangerous farms filled with unexploded bombs, and blowing them up for money. Unexploded Cow is one of the most popular Cheapass This is a zero-sum game, so there is no bank and no Games of all time, and we are thrilled to bring it to you in need for a banker. Every dollar lost by one player will be won this new free edition. We have modified these rules quite a by someone else. bit, including tweaks to the money values, some changes to Hint: To “win” at this game, you simply need to finish with the core game, and a new role for the city deck. more money than you started with. Some players will win more We hope you enjoy playing this new edition as much as than others. To prove how awesome you are, you should keep we enjoyed waiting ten years to make it. track of your wins and losses over several games. Unexploded Cow is © and ™ 2001, 2011 James Ernest and Cheapass Games: www.cheapass.com. This Cheapass Game is free. That’s right, free. You can print it, copy it, and share it with your friends. Obviously, if you like it, we’d appreciate a dollar or two in return. We think this is the best way to get great games into your hands, so please help us make it work. Yes! I gave Cheapass Games $_________ for this game! To learn more, read the last page of this document, or visit www.cheapass.com. How to Begin: Shuffle the 12 City cards and put them in On your turn, you may rearrange your field as much as the middle of the table, face down. Shuffle the main deck you want. However, you can not rearrange someone else’s and deal a starting hand of three cards to each player. Put field, so when you play a cow on someone, it must go at the deck in the middle of the table, next to the city deck, either end of the line (your choice). with space for a discard pile beside it. If this is the first game of the evening, give everyone €5000. If you play again, you should start with whatever money you finished the last game with. You can borrow more money whenever you run out, as long as you keep track. Everyone pays an ante of €500. This becomes the pot. Determine randomly who will go first. Play will proceed Swap any number to the left. of cows in your field with cows in one other player’s field, cow for cow. On Each Turn: You will usually do three things in the fol- lowing order on your turn: Draw, Play, and Roll. Sometimes you will also turn over a new city card. Events: Events have immediate effects and describe exactly what they do. Like cows, events have a “price” which New City Card: At the beginning of your turn, if there is no goes to the pot. You may also be instructed to give money to face-up City card, turn over the top card of the City deck. other players, or take it from them, as a result of an event. This card represents the town you are currently visiting. Because some events bring cows into your field, they You will do this at the beginning of the game, and on any often say that this cow has “no extra cost.” This is just a turn after a player has taken the previous City card. reminder that you don’t have to pay the usual price of the When no City cards are left, the game goes into Sudden cow, just the price of the event. Death, described later. When an event says “you,” it’s referring to the person who played it. Draw: Draw two cards from the main deck. If you must draw, but the deck is empty, reshuffle the discard pile and Make a Bomb Roll: After you’ve finished playing cards, replace the deck. you will roll the die to discover if anyone’s cow finds a bomb. Note: You cannot reshuffle until you need to draw a card. This roll is automatic and always happens at the end of your Some cards let you go fishing in the discard pile, so you have to turn, even if you have already rolled (due to Night Shift), leave the discards available for as long as possible. and even if you have no cows in your field. Roll the die and begin counting around the table with Valerie the rightmost cow in your field, and proceeding to the left. Continue beyond the end of your field, clockwise around the table, into your neighbor’s field if necessary, and so on around the table until you reach the cow of the correspond- ing number. That cow finds a bomb and, unless something can prevent it, that cow explodes. Exception: When you roll a 6, rather than exploding cow number 6, you pass the die to the player on your left. That player makes a bomb roll, counting from his rightmost cow, in the same fashion. If he rolls a 6, this process repeats. A single roll can count all the way around the table, but Play Cards: There are two kinds of cards, cow cards and can only count each cow once. This means that if you roll a event cards. You can play as many cards as you wish. number greater than the total number of cows in play, but Cows: Every player has a line of cows in front of him, not a 6, then nothing explodes. called his field. You may play a cow into any player’s field, When a cow explodes, its owner earns a little money. including your own. A cow played in another player’s field Discard the cow, and take the dollar value of the cow from immediately becomes the property of that player, unless the the pot. If the pot can’t afford to pay you for your cows, you cow is a Spy (described later). take what you can get, and discard the cows anyway. When a cow is played, the owner of that field must pay Some cows cause more harm than good. If a cow is the price of the cow into the pot. (This is the number under worth negative money, he will cost you money when you “price,” not the larger dollar value of the cow. The large buy him and when he blows up. If you blow up one of these number on the right is the reward when the cow explodes.) cows, you will have to pay the big red value into the pot. Unexploded Cow is © and ™ 2001, 2011 James Ernest and Cheapass Games: www.cheapass.com. Mechanic: These cows can defuse bombs, which means they can decide not to explode. If you use this ability, you collect €100 and keep the Mechanic. It’s rare that you would want to use this ability, but you’ll figure out when. A Mechanic can use his ability only once per turn. Marcus Lucius Earning the City Card: If you are an expert cow exploder, you will earn the respect and admiration of the cities you are helping. These cards, in turn, let you do things This cow can defuse a This cow can pass a like draw more cards. bomb instead of exploding. bomb to another cow To collect the current city card, you must blow up your If you do this, collect 100. in the same field. own cow on your own turn. You can do this with the usual bomb roll or by any other means. When you take the city, follow its instructions right General: Upon finding a bomb, these cows can hand that away.
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