LETTER TO THE EDITOR my shaver might have gone to a litres of this to one litre of the soft as Issue: May 2005 footballer; somebody who do not know your face stuff. You must be careful Copy date for the next issue is; Dear Editor, the meaning of work, or if professional how you use it, one squirt in the bowl 23rd May 2005 How many people take any notice of footballers do regard playing football is enough. Any more squirts and the copy@.net adverts ? I mean, we are bombarded “work”, well, they only “work” one kitchen is inundated with foam. I have Tel. 01366 728233 with them all the time. We get them on and a half hours a week. When I played been using this for many years now. the television, in newspapers and football on a Saturday afternoon, a few And my hands are still as rough as my magazines, and even on the radio. At years ago, it was after I had worked face. Please Help Hod And was suggested that a ‘PROJECT least we don’t get them on the BBC sixty hours in a saw mill, and that By the way, there is a brand of sauce LINUS UK’ blanket, size 36 inches At Last here are the answers to programmes, and with the ITV there is included Saturday morning. that is called H.P. Sauce, and on the Eunice By Supporting square, should be included in the Sir Royston’s Bird Quiz which no choice, you have to pay whether you bottle there is a drawing of the Houses This Very Worthwhile Craft section of the show. The appeared in the February watch their programmes or not. I As I do ninety nine per cent of the of Parliament. Who do they think they blankets entered will be donated to edition suppose you could try not to buy washing up in our house, I do like to are kidding? Any school boy would tell Cause the local branch of PROJECT 1 Robin products that were not advertised on TV use the best washing up liquid you can you what the H.P. stands for. LINUS after the show. 2 Swallow but that would be nigh on impossible. buy. “Hands that do dishes are as soft PROJECT LINUS UK. 3 Razor Bill as your face says the brand, I won’t say Sun Cream, (should it be called anti Many people have supported the 4 Moorhen Some time ago, I was given a voucher, which one. Do anyone believe that? I sun cream?). This is sold in various Produce Show over the past three 5 Snow Bunting (20 quid I think) to spend at a shop don’t think it would make my hands strengths. So what strength should I Project LINUS began in 1995 in the years by entering knitted Jumpers in 6 Duck called Comet, not in outer space, but soft, and as for my face, let’s not talk use when sunbathing in the garden? USA after a small child stated that her the craft section which, after the 7 Mallard somewhere in Bishops Lynn. Sorry, about it. No, I could not use this soft as My dear wife seems to know when she ‘security blanket’ had been a great show, have been sent to ‘Children in 8 Spotted Fly Catcher King’s Lynn; can’t get used to the name your face stuff. Anyway it’s advertised smears it on my nose. When serving in help to her in getting through some the Ukraine’. It is hoped that maybe 9 Arthur’s “Dr Who” Merlin change. Anyway, what should I buy? I on TV, and I try not to buy anything the RAF, and in Palestine and Egypt, rather intensive cancer treatment. It some new faces ( as well as the 10 Yellow hammer ended up with an electric shaver. Very that is advertised on the telly. But after they never told us what strength to use. takes it’s name from the ‘Blanket regular entrants) will be encouraged 11 Nightingale pleased I was with it, the first one I ever considerable research on my part and I wonder, if I had asked my Flight Toting Character’ from the ‘Peanuts’ to enter this year as we are now, 12 Storm Petrel had, but after I had been using it for considering cost and performance, I sergeant what sort of reply I would comic strip. through ‘Project Linus’, supporting 13 Fire Crest some while, I happened to be glancing have found the perfect washing up have received. Of course, we had never through the Argos catalogue, where I needy children in the UK also. 14 Field fare liquid. You have to go to Tesco to get heard of the stuff in those days. Do our The idea is that people hand make espied my lovely shaver was advertised, it. (Yes, alright, I know Tesco is soldiers in Iraq use it? 15 Gannet blankets (knit, crochet, quilt, hand or or promoted, by a professional advertised on telly but not this Yours Sincerely. PICTURE BELOW: - Some of the 16 Sand Piper machine sew) and donate them to the footballer. particular product). It is called Tesco children that benefited from the 17 Partridge M Grumps project which then passes them on to I was appalled. To think that perhaps a Value washing up liquid. It costs 13 jumpers donated from last years 18 Kestrel children who are seriously ill or tiny proportion of the money I paid for pence a whole litre. You can buy 18 show. 19 Starling traumatised and will benefit from 20 (Gossiping) Stone Chat having a ‘cuddly’ or ‘security blanket’. 21 Turtle Dove The blankets need to be in ‘child 22 Wood Pigeon NORTHWOLD NEWS friendly’ colours and, if knitted or 23 Black Cap done in crochet, they need to be of a DAILY DELIVERIES OF 24 Dipper tight pattern to avoid risk of small 25 Siskin NEWSPAPERS AND MAGAZINES fingers or medical equipment getting 26 Ruff snagged in them. The use of buttons or FOR A FRIENDLY RELIABLE SERVICE 27 Hen Harrier other embellishments should be 28 Grey Lag CALL DEREK OR CHRIS ON avoided as these can come off and be 29 Turn Stone swallowed. 01366728409 OR 07714588918 30 Kittiwake At the PRODUCE SHOW AGM it OR CALL IN AT: 31 Green Shank 32 Great Skua FIVE STAR FRUIT AND VEG, Church Diary 33 Corn Crake 34 Hobby BROOKVILLE st May 1 All Saints,. 9.30 am Holy Communion 35 Knot St Andrew’s Northwold. 11am Holy Communion

MUNDFORD ROAD, How many did you get right, or May 8th Christ Church, Whittington. 9.30 am. Holy Communion TEL: 01842 878741 more important, How many Woodside Gardens St Andrew’s, Northwold. 11.am Matins didn’t you get right? Ed. AFTER HARVEST PRICE CHANGES FOR YOUR FAMILY th May 15 . All Saints, Wretton. 9.30am Service of the Word Layers Mash/Pellets ...... 25kg £6.00 FRESH FREE RANGE EGGS HOME Mixed Corn...... 20kg £4.50 PRODUCED St. Andrew’s, Northwold. 8am Holy Communion ...... 25kg £3.50 Thanks Extra large £1.60 doz. nd Wheat Bunny brunch mix 20kg £6.50 Large £1.50 doz. May 22 Christ Church, Whittington. 9.30am. Service of the Word Horse & Pony Mix ...... 20kg £5.50 Medium £1.40 doz. St Andrew’s, Northwold. 11am Holy Communion Jane and I would like to thank all our Horse & Pony Nuts ...... 20kg £5.50 Pullets eggs (small) 60p doz. Hamster Mix...... 20kg £7.00 friends and neighbours for the cards and WHILE STOCKS LAST May 29th St Andrew’s, Northwold. 9.30am. Benefice Holy Communion Guinea Pig Mix ...... 20kg £7.00 get well messages we received during Valumix Dog Food...... 15kg £10.00 Also available from our Woodside Garden Café, a my recent spell in hospital. th Gold Dog Food .. 20kg £11.50 wide range of meals and snacks, and savoury & fruit pies to TAKEAWAY. June 5 All Saints Wretton. 9.30am. Holy Communion Hay ...... Large Bale £3.00 St Andrew’s, Northwold. 11am. Holy Communion Straw...... Large Bale £2.00 OPEN EVERY DAY 7.30AM-6.30PM Charlie Askew

Page 12 secondary school because of lack of Little Normans using props effectively” Inside this issue: “If you put the sand in first there is This interesting item was money. At primary school, school Northwold Pre-School “Relationships between staff, children no room for pebbles nor golf balls. sent in by Pam Eyles. We fees, books and uniform cost about and their parents are robust” Project Linus cover The same goes for life. If you spend 50,000 CFA (£50 $100) a year. At Everyone is settling into Bird Quiz answers can no doubt all learn all your time and energy on the small Church Diary secondary school these cost about the Summer Term and at The only action required pending the something from it stuff, you will never have room for 250,000. At the moment Prof. Ako has last the children can next inspection, was regarding the The life of a beer can 2 the things that are more important to already arranged for the top three wear their sun hats. condition and cleanliness of some of Northwold News 3 you. Pay attention to the things that Playground Project The Life Of A Beer Can students at Ossing Secondary School Preparations are well the older toys and making better use are critical to your happiness – give underway for the Carnival.The children to receive 50,000 CFA a year. If you of floor space.This have been Neighbourhood Watch 4 time to the family- play with the always enjoy making their costumes When things in your life seem almost would like to help, all you have to do recognised, and new toys have been children - say hello to the neighbour - and items to attach to the float. Rita’s Ramblings 5 too much to handle, and 24 hours in a is contact Prof. Ako at purchased and the classroom re- have a day out with your partner – [email protected] and he will send arranged.Overall an excellent Our Past According to 6 day are not enough to fit in all you take some family exercise together. We have finally received the full report you the details. I can absolutely inspection.A credit to everyone POG want to do, remember the sweet jar Time may come when it is too late to following our Ofsted inspection earlier guarantee that all the money will get to involved, well done! River Watch 7 and the can of beer. enjoy your family. Cleaning the in the year. Everyone was very pleased the child's family. In return you will Classified adverts A professor stood in front of a garage can be left till another day. with the excellent results, a few quotes get an annual picture of the child and a Can we remind you that if you wish Northwold School 8 philosophy class. Wordlessly, he put Learn to set your priorities in the from the report follow:- copy of his/her report card and a letter. your child(ren) to attend the Pre- on the table before him a large, empty right order – always take care of the sweet jar and proceeded to fill it with You might well end up following the School in the near or distant future, golf balls first then the pebbles and “The premises are warm and you must contact us to register them. Keith MacLeod 9 golf balls. He then asked the students child all the way through his/her the rest is sand”. welcoming to children and have a We are currently running 8 sessions if the jar was full. They agreed it was. school years and develop a real Visit to Ossing, Cameroon 10 One of the students wanted to know range of activities to promote per week and 5 of these sessions are The professor then picked up a box of relationship with him/her. One about the beer. children’s development” now full and a waiting list is in Northwold Pre-school 11 pebbles and poured them into the jar. drawback is that the bank charges £20 “I’m glad you asked”, replied the “Staff support children well in their operation.To register please telephone He shook the jar slightly and the to transfer any amount so it is not very professor. “The beer just goes to play and learning” the Pre-School (01366) 728804 or pebbles rolled into the open spaces efficient to send just £50. If a few show that no matter how full your “Links between Pre-School and home Tina Billmen (01366 727090) or you people combine together they can all between the golf balls. He asked the life is you can share what you are are good” are always welcome to come and see send the money for the same £20. students if the jar was full. They doing with others – like giving “Good emphasis is put into equality of us at the Pre-School. Mon & Friday Northwold might want to consider agreed it was. someone a lift – or just spending opportunity” 9am – 12 noon or Tues, Wed, Thur adopting Ossing as a twin village. The Village Life Team The professor then picked up a box of some of your relaxation with “Staff use spontaneous moments to 9am – 3pm, term time only. sand and it filled up any spaces. The enhance learning” someone who is alone. Taking a cup question was again put to the students Thanks to Frank and Mary for this “Staff enjoy helping children to make of tea, or a can of beer with another Editor asking if they thought the jar was now very interesting article. Ed. progress, by making learning fun and Tina Michael Parfitt takes no longer than on your own and full. They agreed it was. [email protected] then neither of you are alone” Tel. 728233 The professor then picked up two cans A.M. Stannard of beer and poured the contents into Author unknown.

the jar. The students laughed. PAUL’S Deputy Editor “Now” said the professor, “I want you Hamish’s Bowls Club Football Bouncy Graeme Whiting to recognise this jar represents your TAXI’S [email protected] Pontoon Castle Hire life. The golf balls represent the Tel 727425 important things – your family, your Suitable for The last Pontoon of the Season was Ages 1 to 10 years health, your friends, the things that, if won by Mrs B. Gould with 01366 Advertising all else was lost, and only they Huddersfield Town. There was only [email protected] remained, your life would still be full” one winner with a prize of £ 52. 50p Andy’s Cars

“The pebbles are the next things that 385885

Circulation Manager matter – your job, your house, your I think the Bowls Club owe Hamish a Local Runs Taxi Hire Mark Elwes car”. thank you for all the time and work he Tel. 01366 500675 Airports, etc. [email protected] “The sand is everything else – the Mob. 07748 412627 Tel. 728795 puts into this small stuff”. project. Ed. Committee

Chair Ray Gribble Derek Johnson Carol Sharp PROPERTY & LANDSCAPE MAINTENANCE Antique Restoration & Traditional Upholstery Tel. 728227 All aspects of antique furniture restoration including French Interior & exterior painting, wood or UPVC facia boards polishing, cabinet repairs and traditional upholstery Secretary Guttering repaired, cleaned, replaced ------Position vacant Roofing repairs, damaged tiles replaced Traditional Upholstered Furniture

Treasurer Chimney pots & cowlings fitted Footstools, Sofas, Chairs made to commission Chimney stacks and general re-pointing ------Geoff Bartram Blocked drains & sinks cleared Tel. 728673 Picture Framing & Mirrors General plumbing & drainage An extensive range of mouldings including hand painted The views expressed in submitted items are not Roof, patio & driveway pressure washing and gilded finishes necessarily endorsed by Northwold & Whittington Trees & conifers trimmed or removed Antique and Reproduction Prints for sale Village Life. Whilst we endeavour to ensure that all Hedges, bushes and ivy trimmed Vine House, Church Road, , King’s Lynn information contained in the newsletter is correct, Fencing & decking, landscape maintenance 01366-500387 we cannot be held responsible for errors. The Editor reserves the right to refuse or omit items www.raygribble.co.uk without explanation. TELEPHONE 01842 810816

Page 2 Page 11 In January of this year, Frank and Mary Fendick visited Mary’s Home Village, Ossing, in Northwold Village The Cameroon. The Story Concludes Northwold News Jim Booty Playground Project Reports on activities, news and events in and around Northwold We then went to a bank to change our was just chaos and fighting between the girl was running around trying to The playground project is money. There was one teller who rivals. Mary had to decide whether to remove her burning clothes. The driver Parish Council 1, 0. progressing well. New members and worked very slowly and kept shouting take a taxi or a bus and, if a bus, which tried to get back in the bus to save his During the last three months the 0, Northwold 2. ideas always welcome. Next meeting at the people waiting to sit down. We one. The taxis are saloon cars which wife and child but he only got badly Community Car Scheme has at the sports and Social Club at 7. 30 were advised that we would have to fill officially carry four people in the back burnt. By the time we left Mamfe all pm on Tuesday, 24th May, 2005. in a form so we should go up and ask seat and two beside the driver (in but one passenger had died. Two days organised 54 journeys, totalling Gooderstone 0, Hockwold 1. 1369 miles at a cost to the scheme Weeting 0, 1. Dates for your diary: Car Boot sale at for one. We filled in the form, which practice, on shorter journeys, there are later the authorities brought a digger the Village hall on Saturday, 14th included mother's maiden name, and often three people beside the driver and and and buried the bus with its of £ 286. 70p. Hockwold 1, Wimbotsham 0 May at 8.00 am until 12 noon. Stall eventually got to see the teller. He sometimes someone riding on the contents. Shortly after the scene of the A large number of potholes was Holders from 7am. 11 Pitches inside ripped up the form and called for a luggage in the back.) The taxis charge fire we came across a checkpoint and I reported to the Highways Stoke Ferry 1, 0. at £8 and 10 outside at £5 will be bank messenger to take us to a local 6,000 CFA per person to Mamfe and thought "These are the men that didn't authority. Re surfacing of the A Gooderstone 1, Hilgay 2. allocated on a first come first served dealer. Euros are very much in demand get there in about four hours. The buses stop the driver carrying petrol together basis. Contact Caroline Whiting on by business men and the teller charge 5,000 CFA and take at least five 134 from Beckfield to Wimbotsham 0, Northwold 0 Whittington roundabout has 727425. There will be a playground hours. Mary was advised by a girl stall and all proceeds to go to the going to her school reunion not to take started, and will last until June. Northwold 0, Hockwold 1. project. Tea and Coffee and bacon a taxi as they were too dangerous. She The Annual Parish Meeting will Methwold 0, Weeting 3. Hilgay rolls will be available at a small cost. rd decided to take a "Brothers" bus rather be on May 3 at 7 pm. Some 1, Wimbotsham 0 Also there will be a family disco at than an "Ali Baba" bus. This turned out yobbish behaviour has occurred Stoke Ferry 0, Shouldham 1. the Sports and Social Club on to be a bad decision as two "Ali Baba" Saturday, 9th July. Family ticket £10, buses filled up and left before us. Our lately, such as kicking footballs into pensioners gardens. Parents FINAL . Hockwold 1, Adults £3.50, Child £2, under threes luggage was wrapped in plastic bags in free. Any support will be most order to keep the dust out. A boy also have been told and we hope such Shouldham 2. welcome as this project will benefit came round selling face masks for 100 nonsense is stopped. all the children now and in the future. CFA (10p). We later regretted not with people". Thank you for all your continuing obviously had an arrangement with the buying one. We sat drinking beer and We arrived at Mamfe at 12 midnight The Village Hall support. dealer. Mary did not trust the dealer not listening to the music until the bus and hired a guy with a handcart to take The Committee is applying for a grant Quote of the month. to give us counterfeit notes so we eventually filled and left at 6.30 pm. us the 500 meters to Mary's cousin's to help pay for damp proofing and re eventually changed our money (some While we were at the park we learnt May I, through the newsletter, house. He banged on the door until he plastering of the main hall. By Paul Ayres when he saw his 2,600 Euros) in Mamfe where she that a bus coming the other way had eventually woke the caretaker who let express my thanks to Kelly and all could get advice on whom to trust. caught fire and that everyone had been mother Brenda on the front of the other kind people who stopped to us in. We were badly in need of a the last issue. We needed to get to the motor-park at killed. shower. The last time we were in Small Schools Football assist me following my accident in Mile Four and it was difficult to get We had not travelled very far when Mamfe, in 1997, we had given the the High Street. Everyone was most Tournament kind and helpful. taxis to come up the rough track to the there was a loud bang. We had a cousin £900 in order to build a shower, “It Could Have Been The Annual 6 a side football A letter has been sent to the Parish hotel. The hotel owner kindly got her puncture. They took about 30 minutes toilet and kitchen. Nothing had been tournament took place on the Worse. They Could Have driver to take us to the park where we to change the tire and then we started done so we remained with our dust. We Council drawing their attention to the booked on a mini-bus to Kumba. These off again. We were coughing from the tried sleeping on the floor and on the Fendick Field, Northwold, with Put You On Page Three” dangerous state of the pavement in buses are Japanese vehicles with four dust all the way. After a few hours we couch and then went back to the park at nine schools competing. Results: the area near the Lych gate of the church. Roots from a tree have rows carrying four people crammed came across the scene of the bus fire. 5 am. We got a taxi at 6 am and arrived This is page three, which is normally together and two more people on the The roof of the bus was still burning at Prof. Ako's house in Ossing half an forced their way through the tar-mac Gooderstone 0 Northwold 1. occupied by Jim. We have no plans and made the surface most unsafe. seat beside the driver. The luggage is and inside the skeletons were sitting hour later. The journey had taken from Weeting 0, Stoke Ferry 2. at present to publish a picture of loaded on top of the bus with some in side by side, one with a baby in her Tuesday night to Saturday morning. At him, unless of course we have a real Thank you once more to all who Hockwold 4, Hilgay 0 helped. the back. The roads vary from excellent arms, as though they had not tried to age 74 I found it a bit stressful. Mary demand from his adoring fans. new roads where people kill each other get out. One large skeleton had his had a quick shower and took a taxi Yours sincerely, Shouldham 3, Methwold 0. by going too fast, through tarmac roads head near a cracked back window. He back to Mamfe in order to get her hair Ed. Mr Arthur Robson full of pot holes to mud (laterite) roads had obviously tried to break the done and outfit made for the 40th some of which have been graded since window with his head. I apologize for reunion of her school that afternoon. In the rainy season (when they are deep in not taking a picture. I was afraid of the evening we went to the reunion mud) and some that are still full of offending someone, although one lady dance. MARK ROBERTS BRIAN WATERS deep holes. We left Limbe at 12 noon said to me, "Why you not take To top it all, on our return from YOUR LOCAL MILKMAN and arrived at Kumba at about 2 pm. picture?" We found out later that the Cameroon, we both had to spend three Plumbing & Heating We then had to take a taxi to the other driver was smuggling petrol from days in hospital with malaria. Plumbing & Heating • Boiler Replacement side of town to the motor-park from Nigeria. Some petrol had leaked on to TEL : 01366 728024 which the buses and taxis left for the exhaust and caused the fire. A Central Heating Installation DEPOT : 01284 754720 Mamfe. passenger shouted "Fire" and the driver WOULD YOU LIKE TO MAKE A Bathrooms/Showers • Water Softeners When we arrived at this park there had turned his head around and had REAL DIFFERENCE TO A gone into the ditch beside the road. The ALL WORK & MATERIALS GUARANTEED Northwold ~ Foulden were crowds of people trying to snatch CHILD'S LIFE FOR JUST £50 A REFERENCES AVAILABLE out luggage so that we would go on bus turned on its side with the door YEAR? ~ Methwold their bus or taxi. At Limbe the buses against the ground. The only door left Telephone Methwold Hythe was the driver's. He and three I met many intelligent young people 01366 727344 had taken people in turn. Here there passengers managed to get out. One who had had to leave primary or Mobile 07887 646587

Page 10 Page 3 The Parishes of St. Andrew’s, Northwold, All Saints, Wretton with Stoke Ferry & Christ Church, Whittington Reader: Keith MacLeod, West Barn, Road, West . Tel. (01366) 500960 or 07766766137 email: [email protected]

our own language. Fishy Business Suspicious Vehicle descriptions then contact the Police Keith MacLeod’s Monthly Report Please be aware of the people who are So are you going to vote? Can you find A red Astra with a blue tailgate, immdediately, use 999 only if The General Election will be upon us as her new self – accepting Christianity visiting the villages in a van selling fish. enough certitude (not just in the mere registration number N345SAY has appropriate. you read this. However, as I write it, after years of spiritual apathy – will They will show you a sample of good words and Manifestos of the parties and been seen driving around farm Any information can be passed the campaign has only just started – the undoubtedly raise eyebrows. quality fish but what they sell you will their leaders, but in what they mean, in buildings where quad bikes are anonymously to Crimestoppers on strangest start to such a campaign that I not be of the same quality. This does not what they seem to want to make of life – stored in the area. 0800 555 111. can remember – the long phoney I wonder how many of us have never let, apply to our regular Fish vendor(s). their own and ours) that you can be Please keep an eye out for this campaign when everyone knew the not the lack of, but the possession of These are one off people out to swindle exuberant in choosing to vote (or vehicle and report anything eventual date, but it had not been certitude (whether for our Christianity or you so have no truck with them. choosing as a political act not to vote – Early warning announced – and then just as we came for our belief in our chosen political Likewise people selling any kind of suspicious to the Police on 01553 to actively abstain). How fantastic it Would you like to join our e mail up to the formal announcement came the party) translate itself into actual goods dirt cheap at the door. The 691211 or Crimestoppers on 0800 would be if we could have a General early warning system. I have a lot of illness, death and funeral of Pope John enthusiasm or exuberance – and we too product is either poor quality or stolen. 555 111. Election in which every one on the Roll contacts but I could do with plenty Paul II, followed the next day by the often excuse ourselves by claiming to be So don’t get caught. voted or abstained out of positive more. Briefly all it entails is knowing marriage of the Prince of Wales and the British – the never failing excuse for our conviction, not negative posturing or has your e mail address. Then when I get Duchess of Cornwall and then the birth lack of action, emotion or anything Telephone scam A team of bogus officials tactical gerrymandering. How of a first son for the Liberal Democrat visible to anyone else. If you receive a telephone call telling been targetting the warnings from the Police I marvellous if we could all vote for what leader. Also, after years of publicised, you that you have won a sum of money Area and may well move to our area. immediately circulate them round the we believe is right, not for what will be but behind doors warring between Blair During the Royal Wedding in St and that all you have to do to claim your The three males, all in their 20s, are village so that people are aware of to our personal benefit. For example is and Brown, there they are, day after day George’s Chapel, the Creed – the winnings is to transfer money to the using aggressive selling techniques in anything they should be on their it wrong that we are signed up to the working together wreathed in smiles and statement of the fundamentals of organisers, then promptly put the phone an attempt to obtain victims bank guard for. If you want to join all I 1951 United Nations Convention on Blair promising to be effectively a lame Christian belief – was sung by a Russian down. No other advice is required. details. The advise you not to miss need is a small e mail from you so Refugees (ie asylum seekers)? If it is duck Prime Minister if re-elected. Contralto – it was the Creed by the out on a special offer for a phone that I can take your e mail address off not wrong, then it is almost certainly Mowers and Sheds Russian composer Grigoriev. It was related product. it and put it on my list. This has right and our only concern should be to This is the time of year for lawn mowers It’s not clear that politics was much in sung in Russian – rather it was chanted Once again you are advised not to proved very effective to date. If you ensure that we can recognise a refugee etc to go missing. Don’t leave your lawn evidence during this period! There has in Russian. Actually I not like the divulge your bank details to anyone are already on my list please ignore when one presents himself. Vote, but do mower out if you aren’t using it, and been a considerable absence of words ‘sung’ or ‘chanted’ in the context. this. If you aren’t sure I can soon vote out of conscience, not out of keep your shed locked at all times so unless you are entirely happy they conviction. The Tories probably, on She ‘delivered’ it with such power that pragmatism. Vote for principles of that people can’t see what you have are genuine. If you are approached check for you. balance, agree with what Mr Flight, Vice anyone paying attention (which is more truth and compassion, not for short-term inside. by anyone fitting the above Mick Parfitt Chairman of the party, was heard to say than the cameraman did!) could not but gain, whether for you or even for your in a private gathering about plans to cut be gripped. This was not a mere country. taxes, but can’t bring themselves to say statement of belief; this was an

so, or possibly do not quite know how to assertion, an affirmation, a testimony - To do this, you will have to look beyond Comfort Inn say so in an attractive and convincing defying any listener to deny it. It was the electioneering, this acting and way. Labourites either love Brown’s done with so much power that it seems posturing that we demand of our Road, Northwold. economic success, but can’t quite see as though her whole body was going to political leaders and representatives. 2 Course Sunday Lunch £8.50 themselves going back to Old Labour come out of her mouth, not just words

I offer, in the comfort of your own home, independent financial advice and are terrified of him becoming leader and notes. If Jane Fonda was first on financial planning and products from the majority of the market 3 Course Sunday lunch £10.50 Having lectured my readers, I am left OR, on the other hand, love Blair’s (at attracted (which obviously she was not, place. My aim, for both new and existing clients, is to provide a with my own lack of certitude – I will personal service without obligation. least till recently) political success, but but please come along with me) to Weddings and all celebration parties catered vote, hopefully with exuberance and can’t stomach New Labour and its not- Christianity by this performance, then it from my heart – but I am not quite sure for really-Socialist leanings. We all love is so easy to understand why she was how to apply that to the choice before the humourousness of Charles Kennedy, ‘moved by it, fascinated by it and helped For Bookings me! So I have no option but to do some but can’t be sure that there is enough by it’. real work – I have to find out what the depth in his party and its policies. It would not be possible to leave this Tel. (01366) 728888 parties are going to do with British discussion without paying a short visit to Society and to the rest of the world. An Appointed Representative of Sesame Ltd which is authorised and regulated by the Financial Services Authority. It all rather reminds me of Jane Fonda, a Rome and Carol Wojtyla’s funeral. Given that for the very most part there life long, born and bred atheist, always That man had been a little like are only differences of degree between METCALFE following her own path, who, now in her Grigoriev’s Creed – his life had been a the major parties, I am left to consider Holistic Therapist 60s, has become a Christian, but cannot statement, an affirmation, evidenced by COPEMAN & PETTEFAR Nija Levis whether there are specifics that one or say why! She says ‘I’m still not ready his whole being, right up to those last IHBC IIHHT C&G BABTAC Over 17 years experience other of them are offering, which I find SOLICITORS - T H E T F O R D to defend it [Christianity] or analyze it days when he spoke to the world silently morally unacceptable. or anything, but I have become moved just by being there. More than words

We are an established East Anglian firm offering a Massage - Reiki - Kinesiology by it, fascinated by it and helped by it – had always come from him. Many of us I wish I could finish this with a friendly, efficient and personal service in all areas of the and I’m not even sure what it is. But I disagree with aspects of and some of his rendering of the Russian Creed by the law from a modern and conveniently located office in a am humming with reverence and going words, but his life and his presence were to treat lady who sang at the Royal Wedding. town with free parking. at it in my usual full-bore way.’ As a never less than Holy. Many of those In my mind I am rehearsing it again now Headaches : Stress/Tension : Muscular Pain : Fatigue reporter in Time Magazine has recently who wept in St Peter’s Square and in If you are moving house or wishing to plan for the future and I am yet again convinced and written, Jane Fonda has never let a lack Krakow and watching their TV screens Insomnia : Depression : Emotional Stress : Poor Circulation excited. by making a Will, or require legal advice, then please of certitude translate into a lack of around the world were not Roman

call in and see us. enthusiasm, and she understands that the Catholics. I suspect that many were not Keith MacLeod Ring for Advice or Appointments exuberance with which she broadcasts Christians – but God speaks to us all in Licensed Lay Minister Telephone (01842) 756100 Northwold (01366) 727243

Page 4 Page 9 As usual we It was good to see many members of reluctant to publish this date as this worked hard to bring history to life. have begun the the community at this event. A thank usually invites rain but we hope for Bath was an important town in Roman summer term you also to the hard working P.T.F.A. a fine day and congratulate Lucy Rita’s Ramblings times because of the thermal springs with a flourish. who served refreshments for players Hogan who is the May Queen. and we felt we really had to visit the Before I relate to and visitors. Roman Baths. What a complex! It you what we As a school we are taking part in a The official harbingers of spring have country – finally arriving four and a must have been a real treat to laze have done so far and what we intend to Next week we are having another ‘off pilot programme called ‘Links’ to been spotted here in Little . I quarter hours after setting off. As around the warm mineral rich waters do I would like to express our thanks curriculum’ day when the children help parents and children to have know one swallow doesn’t make a soon as we turned into the drive we protected from the elements by a to Ken Cookson who has sponsored will work in their school families to time together during the school day summer but when they sit on the were greeted by a vista of well-tended vaulted roof. I was amazed at the our column in Village Life until his design and build a town using lego, to work together. Already this is power lines delighting us with their gardens gently rising to the front of the intricacies of the methods for diverting retirement. On behalf of us all I wish work on developing the grounds with proving very successful and is beautiful song it is hard not to be hotel. After parking the car (round the the water here, there and everywhere. him and Mrs Cookson a long and volunteers and the county grounds greatly enjoyed by parents and optimistic about the summer months to side of the hotel) we made our way to The actual baths are testament to the happy retirement. staff and have time for some additional children. come. Then this morning, while I was the main entrance and were greeted by quality of roman architecture, as they sporting activities. hanging the washing out in the a smartly turned out member of staff have survived basically intact. As I The first Thursday of term was the As you will no doubt realise after sunshine, I heard the distinctive call of who directed us towards reception. strolled around I wondered how many Football Tournament. Northwold This term we are also offering more reading this article, the term is very the cuckoo. My neighbour reminded Our room was very pleasant – of our own buildings would still be played very well, winning two games extra curricular activities, a drama busy but we are always pleased to me of the old saying that whatever you although the view out of the window standing in 2000 years time. On the losing one and drawing another. group, a running club, a netball club, provide new and exciting are doing when you hear the first comprised a building site (as the hotel way out visitors are invited to sample Hockwold Primary were the overall art club and friendly football matches. opportunities for the children and cuckoo call, will be what you spend is being updated at he moment). I was the waters but we had been warned in winners but the main reason behind to invite you to share them with us most of the summer doing! On that amused to discover that the bathroom advance that it tastes awful - the tournament is that children can This half term is especially busy for when possible. I would like to take basis I will be very clean and we will had a remote speaker (complete with absolutely nothing like that provided have fun together and enjoy playing pupils and teachers as the End of Key this opportunity to invite any have a warm and sunny summer! Our volume control) from the radio/TV; by Anglian Water. football. Stage Assessments take place. We member of the community to our resident blackbirds are busy raising the however, it meant that I didn’t have to

will, as usual be providing breakfast next ‘Charities Morning’ on Friday next generation and gathering miss any of the news the following Until next month take care and make Congratulations to Callum Peate, the for Year Six pupils to help them to feel 27th May. We look forward to nourishing food to feed to their young. morning while I was getting ready for the most of every opportunity given to captain this year and to all the team at ease before the tests begin. This has seeing you then. While I was gardening this week I breakfast. you, and dedicated players who stayed after been very popular in previous years found several of those ugly chafer school to develop their skills. A and helped to reduce the stress that grubs. I carefully placed them in the Bath itself was a delightful town. special thank you to Tony Waring and these tests can be for some children. Marion Dawe open (where I could keep an eye on Neither of us had been there before Rita rd them) and, sure enough, the blackbirds and, as we wanted to make the most of Ryan Spindley who refereed the On May 3 we are celebrating May games for us. Day with our usual festivities. I am came and gathered them in their beaks the weekend, we had booked into the before flying off. They must have theatre to see ‘The Birthday Party’. I thought they were dining at the Ritz must confess that the play made no because they kept coming back for sense to me whatsoever – nevertheless, TPF more. At one point I looked up and it was an enjoyable evening out. Property there were 3 birds waiting for the next During the day we had walked into juicy morsel to appear! town and marvelled at the houses Maintenance made of Bath stone and the Services Way back in the dismal days of winter extraordinarily wide streets. You we were lucky enough to win a could almost expect to see Mr Darcy Interior, Exterior Decorating, weekend stay at a top hotel, in Bath, in or Jane Austen walk out of the door Carpentry, Wall & Floor Tiling, a prize draw at Christmas. A couple and take a horse drawn cab. As the Wooden & Laminate Flooring of weeks ago we left the dogs with weather was sunny and warm we took

Mum and headed west in the car. the open top bus tour and were treated Traffic bulletins on the radio to many a tale of times past. I don’t Call Tim suggested there were traffic jams on know how many of the stories were the direct route so we set off across based on fact but the guide certainly 01366 728 881

Page 8 Page 5 O u r P a s t car. They were an odd couple really, he football and became the last body to be the only signs may be bubbles or a (After dark would you get the River Watch By Ivor Hook According being a small man with ‘10 to 2 feet’ transported to the church by his mates surface disturbance. Other days willies?) was the spitting image in every respect on the parish hearse ( an ancient but moving shadows and shapes can To POG Aka of Charley Chaplin. Florry on the other ornate wooden handcart , later The days are noticeably longer and an betray the presence of really large There is still much waiting to Mike Coley hand was ( beneath her sweet little old ‘appallingly’ given to the school so that evening wander alongside the river is specimens in the long ribbon weeds. happen. Every day something new or lady exterior ) something of a moaner kids could use it to ride on when now an ideal time to fully enjoy the The strong flow is deceptive for a different can be seen and enjoyed. At How pathetic it is to see that we have and regularly gave Albert quite a hard collecting bundles of old upper reaches of our . narrow river. It is strange how certain home even my compost heap has only one shop in the village now, albeit time ( probably deservedly so ) His newspapers ). fish are attracted to different places. now become a source of pleasure as one that’s combined with the Post response to her when she went a little New life is all around. Most trees and The most inaccessible spots – the with careful attention it will soon Office and tries hard to cater for most too far was to go upstairs and urinate in Maggie Rolph ran the Tobacconist/ bushes are in leaf again. The Winter is overhanging willows and submerged provide me with a supply of red of our needs. There were however her clean linen drawer, satisfied that she Sweet Shop in the High Street opposite almost forgotten. Flies and insects bushes always provide shelter for the worms to use as bait in the months to shops of every kind previously, to the would then have something substantial the Methwold Road junction. Her have reappeared to herald fine weather perch family. They just love the maze come ! extent that some people ( with the to moan about. daughter Conny and Husband Fred although a luckless few will soon end of underwater branches. A shoal of exception of wartime ) never left the Smith took it over later and ran it as the up as food for the fish who have all place, or even felt the need to do so. large dace are stationed mid stream in Ivor Chrissy & Sid Filby ran the ‘Top kind of shop where you could buy all but completed their spawning. The the shallows lined up facing the full Perhaps a quick trip by bus to Shop’ as a general store, situated manner of things. Fred was a driver on occasional trout will certainly be flow until disturbed. These places are market on a Saturday opposite the church. It had previously the big red ‘Eastern County’ busses that seeking out his favourite flies as all noted for when the new fishing afternoon may have been the exception belonged to ‘Harrison & Christmas’ were garaged by the ‘Top Road’ near daylight comes to an end. In the fading season begins next month. CLASSIFIED to prove that particular rule. who gave the shop its name. They were the petrol station. light his feeding is often both seen and Milliners and ran it almost as a little heard. The banks and pathways of the ADVERTS Apart from the Eight shops that were department store, the shop having two Lew Jones sold an assortment of non- The rabbits who in winter were often riverside are returning from sticky only evident by their droppings are still in business at that time, a number main rooms. I’ve often wondered if the edible goods from his timber built mud back to grass. Now is the time of of them had already ‘been and gone’ by now regularly seen. Their cosy name ‘Top Shop’ came from the fact workshop between the Council and real growth with the seasonal the time that I came on the scene. burrows have perhaps become less that they dealt in hats, dressing peoples Swedish Houses on Methwold Road. combination of wet and warmth. As D.E.T. T.V. Service - Repairs to These included Billy ‘Phippy’ Bovils inviting. The new warmth also means ‘top’ as it were. Chrissy was leader of He was also the local Cobbler / Barber. always there is a backdrop of wild TV’s, VCR’s and Microwaves. Fast sweet shop, renown for his meticulous that other animals can be more easily the Girl Guides and was ably assisted fowl but only the geese are still reliable service. John Clifford. 01842 adherence to always giving the correct by Winny Bloomfield who was Brown Len Catlin was the butcher who’s shop spotted.; The friendly field mice will 878486. weight, to the extent that he would engaged with their noisy courtship. pay you a visit if you stay still long Owl to the Brownies. was next to Cawstons. I started work The aggressive males relentlessly actually bite a sweet in half rather than here and served my apprenticeship, first enough. (Sometimes when fishing I chase the poor females who must just let the bag weigh too much. Percy Cawston ran the ‘Drapers / under Lens Son ‘Peter’ then directly have found these same fellows feeding long for peace and quiet! Alas, the Feeling Stressed? Why not treat ( this despite the old skinflint having, by General Store’ opposite the Beeches under the boss himself .( Peter Catlin in my ground bait bowl and within yourself (Or someone else) to a all accounts a mouth full of black controversial cormorants are also ever that had previously been situated across wasn’t a popular man and was called minutes of being tipped out they have relaxing massage by a fully qualified stumps and discoloured fangs, lovely ) present-their enormous appetites can the road in the lower floor of Sycamore by many, ‘Farouk’ after the Arab King returned for second helpings!) A timid Therapist. Fully BABTAC recognised deplete a whole fish stock in a matter House. This was the first shop in the of that name, after all they could almost family of hedgehogs have and insured. Gift vouchers available. Spinks the butchers had a shop where of days. Their black shapes circling village to open ( back door trade only ) have been twins to look at ) condescended to wake up and begin Body massage £17.50p (1 hour), our post office is today and a bit further on a Sunday morning. Blocks of ice overhead look really menacing. When their quest for food. A solitary deer along Mr Fox ran Moore’s butchers spotted I always hope they will soon Back massage, £12.50p (half hour). cream were the comestibles Eventually Peter and his wife Joyce has been spotted but in an instant it has Contact Shelly Farrow on 01366 shop ( a few years later I actually of choice and ‘Korky’ ( as he was moved back to her home in have an urgent calling to fly away and disappeared as if by magic. 388835 or 07881 904099. worked with old George Moore at the affectionately known ) would trundle Scarborough, where they opened a leave our river alone.

Meatmarket in Brandon ) And finally, off singing his own little song to Hotel. That was great as far as I was Sometimes only noises are evident. Haylocks had a shop at ‘west end’ himself “ vanilla, vanilla, the lady concerned because old Len was as It is still the close season for river The welcoming early morning and E.G. Dack where they sold Pork from the farm. killer “ different as chalk and cheese to his fishing so I now spend my time merely evening serenade of birds is back. The bombastic offspring. He was a real looking and watching. It must seem Approved Electrician high pitch bark of a fox is heard. 25 years Experience There was a Greengrocers opposite the Tom & Queenie Bowers ran a ‘Spar’ Tradesman and a Gentleman who rather comical but to slowly creep Intermittent rustling in the Wesleyan Chapel and Gotobed had a Small Jobs Electrical shop at no 1 Methwold Road, which taught me many things, including about and keeping very low to avoid undergrowth and plops into the water general store in the ‘West End’. Shops Tel. 01366 728118 was a big step up from the little shop attitudes that have benefited me the skyline with good polarised glasses also prompt the imagination and add to often describe themselves more Mobile 07766637077 they had at the end of Odd Fellows throughout my working life. you can often locate fish. Sometimes the intrigue as to who else is out there. specifically, e.g. as ‘Drapers,’ to set Row, facing Common Drove. Tommy them apart from simply ‘General had previously made his name as a Many of you will remember me from Stores’, which on their own came to boxer and later, as well as the shop he those days I’m sure, with my clean GARY BOYCE refer to an emporium where almost ran both Building and Undertaking white coat and rosy cheeks, pedalling QUALITY RETAIL AND CATERING BUTCHER, est. 1985 anything could be purchased, including businesses. the old trade bike with its big basket NURSERIES 25, High Street (next to Fire Station) groceries, tools and sometimes paraffin. and little front wheel, through the Why not visit our walled in garden Methwold, Thetford, Norfolk Tel 01366 728512 (or Fax 01366 728883 anytime) Mrs Carr ran the small Post Office/ village and as far a field as nursery for all your Summer Bedding, Basket Plants and As for the shops that were still in Prime Barley Fed Beef (11/13 months old), Pork, Lamb, direct from the farm Grocers shop opposite the memorial Gooderstone. Fuchsias. Orders taken now for your summer hanging (locally). All our meat is prepared to the highest standard & cut to customer’s operation when I was growing up, we cross, and her assistant was Miss baskets and Pots, or have your own basket filled at requirements. Norfolk pork sausages made by Mr Dennis Self, formerly of had quite a selection that between them, Waters Butchers, Stoke Ferry. Wicket. The village phone box stood Well that’s merely a glimpse at the unbeatable prices. Baskets ready for sale, end of May. offered everything that could be We also offer a delicatessen counter of traditional cooked hams, also home cooked outside and the Postman was Mr Fish shops we had and the people who ran Fresh Flowers Available. quiches, pork pies, Cornish pasties, sausage rolls, scotch eggs and much more. On the desired. who lived at Lancaster Cottages where them sweet side of the pastries we offer a Find us situated between Northwold and Foulden, just 15 Opening times are: Albert & Florry Goymour ran a he was something of a ‘radio ham’ in So again I say, Til next time, large selected of Curtis of Lincoln cakes. minutes from Watton British bacon, unsmoked and smoked, dry Monday 9am-1pm Newsagents in the High Street, most his spare time ( this led to some with cured - no added water. A range of Tuesday 8am-1pm, 2pm-5.30pm people collected their papers but he English and continental cheeses plus our Wednesday 8am-1pm overactive imaginations thinking that Best Wishes Pog would deliver to outlying properties in Tel 01842878288 usual range of cooked meets, once again Thursday 8am-1pm, 2pm-5.30pm he must have been a spy ). His son cut to your requirements by our team of Friday 8am-1pm, 2pm-5.30pm his, already by that time ancient Morris Victor sadly died after a game of Est. 1962 friendly staff. Saturday 7.30am-1pm

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