Bingewatchenspiel Song Lyrics

WHAT A PURIM (to the tune of WAP)

I said certified chag, Social distanced synagogue What a Purim, With fantastic dialogue! Nu? Nu? Nu? Nu? Yeah you’ll leave here saying “what a Purim!” Bring your laptop and your zoom for this web aired Purim. You don’t have to leave your room for this web aired Purim.

You’ll meet Esther and Uncle Mord Haman’s gonna be untoward King Ahashveros and his guards Whole Megillah? You won’t be bored Ratchet up, we’re gonna boo While we watch Haman attempting a coup Read in Hebrew, wear a nice crown As we take a ride to Shushan town.

We’ll warn you now that you’re advised To dress up, wear a disguise If you don’t wan na be a schmuck You’re gonna camouflage We will scream “Chag Purim” When Esther goes and becomes Shushan’s queen She will save Jewish Shushanim From a plot which is really obscene

Haman lies, real bad guy, save the day Mordechai, See it all at C to the B and I We’ll tell you all about it you don’t have to ask us why Because pure evil is never justified Get a grip and watch this skit Even though it’s a recording don’t you dare skip Watch us dance and laugh and sing C’mon let’s go, let’s do this thing.

Now get your grogger and your costume And say “what a purim!” Eat a lot of hamantaschen And say “what a purim!” We will read the scroll of Esther Then say “what a purim!” So come on down to Shushan And holler “what a purim!”! GO THE DISTANCE (to the tune of Go The Distance from Hercules)

I have often dreamed of a fnal scene Where there’s no cliffhanger, and no impending doom Yes an episode where the plot’s resolved I could turn off the TV and walk right out of this room

I'll be there someday, I can go the distance All those episodes, I’ll be right here on this seat I’ll watch every scene ‘til I gain ffteen I will go the distance ‘til the series is complete

But the shows are long, and I grow so tired Sometimes I doze off and I miss some turn or twist I don’t understand the next episode But I read the recaps - and learn everything I missed

Here in quarantine, I can go the distance Plow through every scene, no I won't accept defeat It's a long long show, and the King’s a shmo, But I’ll go the distance ‘til the queen has Haman beat

EYE OF THE TIGER KING (to the tune of Eye of the Tiger)

Single now, back on the apps Did my time, took my chances Went the distance, cause in love I’m a sap Just a man and his will to survive So many times it happens too fast Your ex-wife rewrites the story Don't lose your grip on the dreams of the past You must fght just to keep them alive I’m the king of the tiger And I’ll fnd a new wife Rising up to the challenge of that Vashti And I’ll pick from competitors This very night And I’m watching them all with the Eye of the Tiger King… DING DONG THE TIGER KING WILL DIE (to the tune of Ding Dong the Witch is Dead)

Guard 1, Guard 2, Guard 3: Ding-dong! The king will die Which old king? The Shushan King Ding-dong! The Shushan King will die Make up an evil plan, use your brain and kill that man Make up a really evil plan He’ll die and away he’ll go Below, below, below Yo-ho, let's open up and sing and ring the bells out Ding-dong's the merry-oh, sing it high, sing it low Let them know the Tiger King will die!

Guard 1: As a Guard of Shushan City, In the county of Babylon, We’ll kill the king most regally

Guard 2: You can bet it’s going to be illegally. Then he

Guard 3: Then he

Guard 2: Will be

Guard 3: Will be

Guard 2: Most morally, ethically

Guard 3: Spiritually, physically

Guard 2: Positively absolutely

All Guards: Undeniably and reliably DEAD!

I’m Haman-19, Haman-19, I’m the king’s right hand man I serve the king, I’ll do anything But really I’m in command

I’m Haman-19 (nineteen) and there’s no vaccine (vaccine), stay tuned for this tale of woe So don’t touch that dial (that dial), Stay for a while (a while), ‘Cause I’m gonna steal the show

I’m just off the boat from old Wuhan Challenge him if you dare Cause if I can make it in Shushan He’ll make it anywhere

I’m Haman-19 (nineteen) and I have just seen (just seen), the king has a special friend An octopus who ... is also a Jew That invertebrate’s life must end!

OCTOPUS TEACHER SONG (to the tune of Octopus’s Garden)

I'd like to be Under the sea But this octopus has gotta help his niece

Perhaps it’s odd For a cephalopod But for the good-of-the-Jews this madness has to cease

We would be so happy You and me If Esther tells that Tiger King the truth

I’d like to be under the sea But the Jews of Shushan need my expertise

Tell the king that you’re a Jew And then that mullet man will know what to do!

I’d like to be under the sea But the Jews of Shushan need my expertise (oh yeah) This octopus has gotta teach his niece! I WILL SAVE THE JEWS (to the tune of the Friends theme song)

So no one told you life was gonna be this way You are a Jew, one who Cannot go MIA It’s like the road ahead seems so unclear And it hasn't been your day, your week, your month Or even your year, but I will save the Jews (Or he’ll start a civil war) I will save the Jews (We have been there before) I will save the Jews (I will have to come through)

THE KING WILL HANG HAMAN (to the tune of Over the Rainbow)

So the King will hang Haman Way up high And the Jews will be saved By Esther and Mordechai Somewhere over the gallows Bluebirds fy And we’ll all boo for Haman 19 until he’s died Someday we’ll get him out of here When Haman will have disappeared we’re happy The Haman-19 will be gone He won’t ruin 2021 He’ll be behind me Somewhere over the gallows Haman-19 will die That’s the dream that I dreamed of Once in a lullaby PURIM BINGEWATCHENSPIEL (to the tune of The Brady Bunch Theme)

Here's the story of Haman-19 He was a virus with three corners on his hat. He was plotting, to kill the Hebrews But all his plans fell fat.

Here's the story, of the good Queen Esther, Yes her skill at chess protected all of us She was counseled, by her loving uncle He was an octopus.

Esther married Tiger King A-hash-u-er-os And she even knew before her big reveal That this cast would somehow make a movie And that’s how we became the Purim BingeWatchen Spiel.

Binge-Watchen Spiel, BingeWatchen Spiel We hope you liked the Purim BingeWatchen Spiel!