SEMESTER 2 WEEK 9 22 SEPTEMBER 2010

One Nation? Australia's Race Problem

Arts Hole: Washington Faking It: 21st Speech Preview of the SUDS Major Profile: US Comedian Jamie Kilstein 2 the aussie flag doubles as a This Week's: CONTENTS HONI SOIT, EDITION 21 cape, right? Most Inspiring Speech on YouTube: Phil Davidson running for Stark County Treasurer. Worst Moment: Spilling fried rice on the floor. Lots of it. 22 SEPTEMBER 2010 Best moment: Popcorn. It makes noise and then you can eat it. Most unexpectedly over-used phrase in this edition: “Fuck cabinet”.

The Post 03 Pristine Ong quacks with the best of them. 10 Letters. Lots of them. Katherine Connolly gets her spice on in Glebe. The Uni-Cycle 04 David Mack speaks Greek with the USU President David Mann assures us that directors of the SUDS Major. 11 everything is above board on Board. Joe Smith-Davies checks out all the Georgia Flynn looks at the Korean Film Festival singles in town and tells you which ones coming to town. are A-OK. Bridie Connellan discovers a USyd student who’s Chris Martin thinks that Washington discovering the bare bones of Spain. in person is better than the album or Naomi Hart rides a chariot of fire through the night sky, adorned05 the city. with the silver tears of the hallowed moon as she defends HECS with her barbed whip of justice and flaming torch of education. The Mains Nina Ubaldi did some cartoon stylings. 12 Monica Connors examines where to The Usual Suspects 06 draw the line in the sand between racism When it comes to stuff USyd students like, Morris and patriotism while Diana Tjoeng hungover owl. Schmengy knows all the right answers. explores what it’s like to be young and Rachael Hart had a gun pulled on her in Northern ethnic in Australia today. She also talks Ireland. Really. about Power Rangers. Joe Smith-Davies finds himself in some The Soapbox 14 unwanted spotlight. 07 Rob Chiarella is biased about newspaper Molly Schmengy has come to hate the things bias. THE HYPOTHETICAL: people love. Because of you. Would you rather Carmen Culina has the shakes. The Profile Tom Marr and Sam Elliot get into a Have all your food blended together into 08 Arghya Gupta spoke to US comedian Jamie Kilstein chocolate fight. something that can thickonly bestraw consumed through a about using laughs to motivate the lazy Left. OR Daniel Ward teaches Gillard a skill or two. 15 The Arts-Hole Have all of your meals sprinkled with much too 09 much cinnamon? Monica Connors and Tom Clement review More Usual Suspects 16 FAQs the Science and Med Revues. Joe Smith-Davies gets you in the mood Hannah Lee does the deed with Alice Creed. for a themed 21st party. Ian Mack thinks someone is watching him. How much cinnamon is too much cinnamon? Paranoid much? For the first few weeks it burns. You get used to the pain, but not the flavour. Joe Payten challenges Paul the Octopus. And probably loses. What’s included in the blend? Everything that would be on the plate, plus condiments. So dessert and mains would be separate, but steak and mustard SRC 17 would become bedfellows. Bletchley Park 20 The Garter 21 - 23

EDITOR-IN-CHIEF Diana Tjoeng EDITORS Bridie Connellan, Carmen Culina, Naomi Hart, Henry Hawthorne, Ben Jenkins, David Mack, Joe Payten, Anusha Rutnam, Joe Smith-Davies Woohoo! Midsemester is finally here! Too REPORTERS Georgia Flynn, Monica Connors, Hannah Lee, Chris Martin, Rob Chiarella, Tom bad I already superglued my eyes shut. #canthandlemoretutereadings Marr, Sam Elliot, Daniel Ward 1 hour ago CONTRIBUTORS David Mann, Nina Ubaldi, Rachael Hart, Molly Schmengy, Morris Schmengy, Arghya Gupta, Tom Clement, Pristine Ong, Katherine Connolly, Ian Mack, James Colley CROSSWORD Benny Davis

DISCLAIMER Honi Soit is published by the Students’ Representative Council, University of Sydney, Level 1 Wentworth Building, City Road, University of Sydney, NSW, 2006. The SRC’s ion costs, space and administrative support are financed by the University of Sydney. Honi Soit’s editors and the SRC acknowledge the traditional owners of this land, the Gadigal people of the Eora nation. Honi Soit is written, printed, and distributed on Aboriginal land. Honi Soit is printed under the auspices of the SRC’s directors of student publications: Mel Brooks, Tim Mooney, Alistair Stephenson , Andy Thomas and Cherissa Zhou. All expressions are published on the basis that they are not to be regarded as the opinions of the SRC unless specifically stated. The Council accepts no responsibility for the accuracy of any of the opinions or information contained within this newspaper, nor does it endorse any of the advertisements and insertions. The Post the Committee meeting were unable 3 Dear Honi, In Defence of to provide a viable description of how they envisaged initiatives to engage EDITORIAL My letter is in response to Jared and Ruby. I hesitate in writing here, College students in social justice issues, such as This week Honi turns 21. If you shower us with clean, white beaches here. Pun! (Sorry for that Dear Ellie, Humanitarian Week or The Hub or the presents and affection we so desperately pun). As Australia has experienced increased because tone can be really difficult to CONTENTS I find your letter about colleges very charity/volunteering policy formulation, crave then we promise to definitely give you migration, cultural identity has become more communicate, and that is no triviality narrow minded and xenophobic. I am would occur next year. Why would you less paper cuts. If you don’t shower us with confusing for everyone. For some, this has when the topic is something as personal not a college student nor have ever close down a new program when it was presents, we promise to definitely give you meant a shift to fierce nationalism that can and sensitive as gay marriage. I hate the seek to exclude rather than include, while been one, but I feel the wider university achieving its aims? I sincerely hope that more paper cuts. And sue you. antagonism and hurt which has marred others have tried to negotiate an idea of community is too fast to condemn. the progress made this year in terms of this social conversation. But seriously, we’ve reached our 21st edition Australian identity that is fluid and hybrid providing an environment of increased and in homage we’ve got a ‘Faking It: 21st rather than fixed. It’s fine for people to But I have a few things to say. How can one say that ignoring such a awareness of and participation in social Speeches’ on p6 and a ‘Soundtrack to a argue and disagree about this - in fact, it’s deep rooted part of the culture of our justice initiatives on campus will be able Themed 21st Party’ on p16. Our two features great. What we need is to keep testing and university, whether you agree with it to continue in the face of such non- this week swim through the murky waters of questioning the assumptions we make about The first is this: The callous lovelessness or not, contribute to a more diverse consultative and aggressive management. race relations and ethnic identity. Despite what ourselves, and especially about others. with which Christians have treated those publication? Surely eradicating your we project to the world, it’s definitely not all Diana Tjoeng who are homosexual is sinful. It appalls pet peeve would just help narrow the Yours sincerely, God. Christians seek to represent Jesus to the diversity of the university in at least its Kath Wilson As a female I was horrified by your fortnight of the Verge Festival. Why can’t world. And we screw it up, royally. Every most read publication. Science/Arts V calling all Women’s girls bitches, Sancta the Union Board justify the funding for day. girls ‘slutty Catholic ones’ and college a single week of events centred around I feel colleges should be given some girls as overall ‘trophy-wives-to-be’. humanitarian and social justice ideas? To illustrate: Jesus said to consider others credit for the input they have had in 184 Reasons These gross generalisations are insulting By reducing the diversity of the events better than myself. I am proud and forming the university into what it is Readers may have seen a letter by ‘Mel’ as the majority of females at college are and campaigns at uni in this way, I really self-preoccupied. Pride is the rebellion today. Sydney University is unique in (Honi, Week 5) in which she criticises high achieving, intellectual individuals. wonder what the USU is for. (‘sin’) that God detests most. Jesus said 12 its heritage, size resources and financial the “complaining” and “whinging” short For the record, there is this crazy thing to care for the poor and sick. I rarely do position. Many of the student resources announcements that I have given at the where female collegians compete in sport Alex Houseman’s article in last week’s this, and only when it is convenient for such as facilities available, excellent beginning of a few of our PHIL1013 as well. We’re pretty good at it. Surely as Honi mentioned the Union Board me. Jesus said to love those who mock teachers and professors and computer lectures regarding tutorial overcrowding. an Arts student you can appreciate the alienating members and centralising me. Instead, my pride pricks up and I get systems have been funded by endowment Frustrated by the sheer insouciance self-deprecating mentality behind this decision-making. He also pointed out defensive. Jesus hung out with the people or pledges from ‘Mac Bank minions’ of of her comment, I saw it necessary to belittling discourse... or at least come up that the supposed failings of some who the religious gurus (Pharisees) had past and present. Without these, much of submit the following response: with more interesting slurs. Committees could be attributed to the rejected as “sinners”. The Church is the current situation we take for granted, complete inaction of Committee Chairs. often Pharisaical, alienating the kinds 14 being the highest ranked university Mel, I feel that your energies would Although I disagree that colleges are He appears to be spot on. With the USU of people that Jesus probably would be in Sydney, would not have occurred. be far better spent being concerned minorities, since they have been an committees dissolved, decision-making so hanging out with. Either cope with someone who prefers with the waste of the hour of what is integral part of the University from centralised, and the Board disregarding beer over a vodka red bull or piss off to arguably our most valuable medium of the beginning, what is the point of our referendum on Fair Trade coffee, I am sorry for all this, because I have, we any other university that doesn’t have learning. In a tutorial room of twenty- free media if not to promote the voice I can’t help feel but that the Board is have, often butchered Jesus’ words by the colleges. plus strangers, Arts students know what of minorities or the marginalised? disconnected from its members and way we live. it is like to be too terrified to speak, to So instead of embarking on a useless doesn’t even care about it. Quite simply, Luke Martin endure unengaging pseudo- discussions crusade about colleges and admittedly if the USU hopes to attract more than 15 Secondly, although there is diversity Engineering 2 and awkward silences. dull and rarely witty banter of Paul’s just Scubar regulars, the USU Board amongst Christians, and there is not boys, why not put your pen to better needs to sort out its priorities. It should 16 Letter of one monolithic Christian voice, I think At the start of this semester, my first use? If you must, I’m sure we’d all love start by reinstating the Committees and No Justice? the Week! Jared’s right, and Christians shouldn’t philosophy tutorial had 32 students – to hear your opinion on the Madigral the Convenor positions. be exempt from public criticism. (Just Dear Honi, with not enough tables to go around. Society’s latest hymn. quietly, somehow I don’t think we ever I am one of the USU Social Justice Though tute sizes in UK universities Yours, would be. I’m fairly confident that until Convenors this year. I suspect that many average 6 to 8, it is quite shocking that Ellie, perhaps it’s time to meet some Jack Hammett the day Jesus returns, we’ll still be the students on campus have no idea what an alleged ‘World Class University’, college students. You’ll find the majority Science/ Arts II that means. And thanks to our inclusive our Sydney University, can tolerate of us are decent citizens. Alternatively, butt of every joke.) Please DO hold us to and open-minded student union, they undergraduate tutorials having twice the you can just buy me that Vodka Redbull. account for our lovelessness in the way 17 we’ve engaged in this discussion. Heck, probably never will. size of the average Year 12 class in my How To Do A Hot public high school. The provision of Felicity O’Neill God certainly does. 20 The Social Justice Convenorship was tutorials has become a mere formality, a Commerce (Liberal Studies) III EU Boy added to the Convenorships program tick-in-the-box, a carefully coordinated But I do not think that the Christian at the end of last year with the aim and well organised weekly waste of time. Dear Honi, view of marriage is inhumane. I see of “working with relevant clubs and That is why we strongly support the More Union Re: Georgia Flynn’s disappointment marriage as something instituted by staff towards raising the awareness following petition: at not being able to do Hot EU Boy God, in which a man and a woman are of marginalised and disadvantaged Troubles from her tutorial. May I make a few united by God, under God and for God. To speak plainly, that understanding of groups associated with the University As a student of PHIL 1013 (Society, Self Dear Honi, suggestions? As a Hot EU Boy myself, marriage isn’t exactly inclusive of my Community”. It was a Board Initiative. and Knowledge), I am disappointed at the size I am a USU member. I own an access I make one observation, and several married friends who don’t believe there Despite constantly-shifting KPIs and of my tutorial. I feel that it will not lead to card and I always will. The Union is suggestions as to moving forwards. IS a God. Does that mean they can’t get a hostile work environment, I and quality discussions and that it makes the genuine the lifeblood of this campus. But after married?? No! As Ruby noted, there is a the other Social Justice Convenor involvement or engagement of all the students hearing about what has happened to the Observation: Hot EU Boy is probably difference between the legal institution have: hosted talks on climate change, in the class very difficult. In Philosophy, above Social Outreach Committee and Social just as interested in sex as you are. Or of marriage and the Christian institution reconciliation, youth activism all other subjects, group sizes must be much Justice Convenors I am growing more maybe I’m just projecting. Suggestions: of marriage. and refugee rights; organised the smaller in order to properly conduct meaningful and more concerned about the direction Despite the mutual interest in sex, Hot collaboration that was Humanitarian and inclusive philosophical discussions. I will be of our USU. EU Boy will need two things from you. Thirdly, Jesus wasn’t on about politics Week (I hope you noticed it!) and; very concerned if something genuine is not done 1) Become a follower of Jesus. 2) Marry and legislating to legally enshrine His re-established a focal point for social by the administration of this subject. The USU Social Outreach Committee Hot EU Boy. With these two simple steps way of life. He had a bigger agenda; justice activities going on at Sydney Uni and the Social Justice Convenors were in place, you can do Hot EU Boy as you know, saving humanity and stuff. (usydhub.org). Nathan McDonnell recently abolished by unilateral order of often as you please! (Disclaimer: Upon I genuinely believe that as the One by The petition’s 184 signatories the USU Board. This is an utter shame completion of these steps, Hot EU Boy whom and for whom we were made, that So we were surprised, shocked, And the 100 or so students that don’t as the Social Justice Convenors organised will become the only Boy you do. The the way Jesus calls us to live is the best, disappointed and frustrated to be bother to turn up to tutes. Humanitarian Week; a week-long festival one. The only. That’s the way it is with and intended, way for us to live. I don’t casually informed at a meeting of the for raising awareness about social justice Hot EU Boy.) Best of luck. force it on my friends, but I do think Social Outreach Committee that the issues and getting more people involved More College that living with Jesus as Lord of my life Board had decided that there would be in humanitarian campaigns both in Richard Glover Dear Honi, is better – forgot “morality”, I’m talking no more Social Justice Convenors and no Australia and around the world. Without Arts V I was deeply offended by Ellie’s (Arts “better” in terms of joy, satisfaction, DISCLAIMER more Social Outreach Committee due to the Convenors and with the dissolution IV) letter in last weeks edition of Honi. deep peace and contentment. But I don’t Honi Soit is published by the Students’ Representative Council, University of Sydney, Level 1 Wentworth Building, City Road, University of Sydney, NSW, 2006. The significant changes to the Convenor and of Committee positions, Humanitarian Not only did her baseless rant contain understand the logic that I should expect SRC’s ion costs, space and administrative support are financed by the University of Sydney. Honi Soit’s editors and the SRC acknowledge the traditional owners of this Committee programs. Week is simply not going to happen in Love mail? Hate mail? Life fail? land, the Gadigal people of the Eora nation. Honi Soit is written, printed, and distributed on Aboriginal land. Honi Soit is printed under the auspices of the SRC’s directors a number of generalisations, it was also someone who doesn’t know Jesus to live the future. of student publications: Mel Brooks, Tim Mooney, Alistair Stephenson , Andy Thomas and Cherissa Zhou. All expressions are published on the basis that they are not to extremely sexist. I enjoy a high level of We were not consulted. We were not like Jesus is their Lord. You come to Jesus be regarded as the opinions of the SRC unless specifically stated. The Council accepts no responsibility for the accuracy of any of the opinions or information contained participation in University life for many SEND IT ALL TO even informed following the decision as you are; then he commences heart within this newspaper, nor does it endorse any of the advertisements and insertions. reasons other than ‘CV stacking’ and am We have had the ‘This is life?” and at Board. And the Board Directors at [email protected] renovation. Not the other way ‘round. by no means alone in this regard. ‘Christ’ weeks, we just finished a I agree that Christians shouldn’t have 4 The Uni-Cycle www.honisoit.com OPINION USyd Student Unearths Ancient The State of the Union like to thank them for their collaboration with the Union on this issue. Current USU President David Mann explains the latest workings of the Board. Remains in The past few months have definitely companies are looking to offer Regarding elections, it is unfortunate been a tumultuous time for the Union. 100% Fair Trade options in the that last week a former board director Spain Fair trade, elections, the White Paper future – this will be something the chose to violate the board’s rules of Bridie Connellan on a USyd student and the University’s controversial plans Union will be following closely. confidentiality on this specific issue – who went roamin’ in Spain. Ye dig? around the student experience (Philips • Revise and re-weigh the current however it is important to clarify two KPA report), to name a few, represent criteria used to evaluate coffee things. An archaeology student of the University some very significant challenges facing tenders so that Fair Trade suppliers of Sydney has played a crucial role in the the Union Board. At the same time, the aren’t as disadvantaged in trivial The former director was party to a excavation of an ancient Roman theatre, Union is continuing to experience one of areas of the criteria such as request that the board seek independent unearthed in the present-day province its best years: we’ve reached our highest promotional benefits and signage. legal advice regarding the candidates of Burgos, Spain. Joining educational membership level since VSU, we have a • Assess and troubleshoot the cost and the executive elections. We sought organisation ArchaeoSpain, Object range of new on-campus partnerships, differential between 100% Fair this independent legal advice, which the Arts and Design student Yasmin Smith we celebrated our biggest Verge and Trade and non-Fair Trade Coffee board followed. We also commissioned spent the month of July mapping and O-week festivals yet and we have an in- competitors when the coffee tender an independent consultant who digging the site alongside a field crew principle agreement with the University re-opens. recommended that no one be expelled of archaeologists from both Europe around long-term funding. from the board. In line with best and the United States. As a relic of This is not the referendum. However, practice, the board formally received the former Roman settlement Clunia, In this piece, I would like to take this Fair Trade supporters shouldn’t view and adopted this report (and disciplinary the site proved a regular goldmine of opportunity to inform the student body this as a loss either. This outcome is a actions contained within) in August. historical intrigue, as Smith and her about the outcomes of the Fair Trade positive translation of the referendum group catalogued hundreds of artifacts referendum and the elections. that represents a partnership between Secondly, the Electoral Working from the 9000 seat theatre. the Union and Fairly Educated as well Party began amending the electoral At the August board meeting, the as a commitment to ensuring that the regulations this month so that future referendum on Fair Trade in its pure Union can make the most sustainable elections won’t be subject to the same form was voted down. Does this and informed transition to Fair Trade problems. The returning officer and mean that nothing will be happening coffee in 2013. Establishing the FTWP a representative from the Australian on fair trade? Absolutely not. The and elevating Fair Trade to a compelling Electoral Commission will sign off on board resolved to establish the Fair factor in the tender means that the 2012 these changes that will come to board Trade Working Party (a clause in the board, pending the quality of the tender in October. These changes will be referendum) to: applications against a new coffee criteria looking to dramatically increase the • Investigate making Fair Trade and the cost to the Union, would be accountability of candidates, especially products readily available on foolish to act against the clear majority in relation to the spending cap, and campus by assessing the current/ support given to Fair Trade on May 12, increase the access of low SES students Archaeology. No bones about it. new Fair Trade options on the 2010. to the opportunity to run for board. market – the current Fair Trade ArchaeoSpain director Mike Elkin is coffee market is mostly small We applaud the enthusiasm and effort of For more info visit our blog @ www. thoroughly pleased with the result of boutique companies, but larger the Fairly Educated Team and I would yourunionboard.blogspot.com. the dig, and claims students such as Smith have played a crucial role in recent discoveries throughout Spain and The Hallyuwood Insider Italy. “Yasmin and the other program Georgia Flynn reports on the Korean compelling process of differentiation. participants have learned not only how Film Festival in Australia. Perhaps no one exemplifies this trend to conduct an excavation but also how to interpret the archaeological clues On 1 October, under the auspices of the more acutely than the doyen of South discovered,” he says. “Over the past few Consulate-General of the Republic Korean cinema, Bong Joon-ho, whose years, our joint Spanish-international of Korea, Hallyuwood will arrive in film, Mother, will be screened on the crews have uncovered priceless Sydney. For five days, the Dendy Opera opening night of the Film Festival. information about Spain’s ancient Quay cinema will join the ranks of New past.” With the metropolis of Clunia York’s Museum of Modern Art and the Set in a small rural town, Mother considered by archaeologists as one of Cultural Centre of Nigeria, by hosting its chronicles the experience of a woman Spain’s most intriguing Roman cities of nation’s first Korean Film Festival. This whose dim-witted son is accused of Mother, a film by Bong Joon-Ho, will be the first and second centuries, the theatre festival has been sponsored by Sydney murder on the basis of questionable screened on the opening night of the festival. is a valuable source of archaeological University’s Faculty of Arts with Gender testimony reminiscent of To Kill a Film Festival in Australia is the critical data as the field team begins to excavate & Cultural studies lecturer, Dr Jane Park, Mockingbird. By focusing primarily on the discussion of Korean Wave cinema. Apart debris layers from ancient looters in the heavily involved. mother’s descent into unbridled violence and carnality, Bong Joon-ho has moved from the films themselves, there will be Q stage area, in an attempt to “fill some of and A sessions with Director Lee Hae- the chronological gaps in our theories”. “There are a number of other benefits away from his previous engagement jun, Producer Moo Ryung Kim, Professor by having a regular Korean Film Festival with the typically Hollywood genres. In Hong Joon Kim, and Sydney Uni’s own in Australia,” says Festival Marketing contrast, The Host (2007) filled the gaping film expert Dr Jane Park. Director Kieran Tully. “Such as reducing absence of monster films in the cultural A CLASS the demand for illegal downloads of landscape of South Korea, by dropping In the spirit of education, the Film Korean cinema and providing a platform a tadpole monster into the Han River of Festival will also culminate in an for Korean artists to express themselves.” Seoul. award ceremony for emerging Korean ABOVE filmmakers involved in the Australian film Nonetheless, there is no doubt that Certainly, the other films that will be Honi will be running a special feature industry. “Our Young Korean Filmmakers cinema is the primary focus. Hallyuwood screened during the course of the Film in Week 12 showcasing the leading in Australia award session will provide USyd students to watch for 2010. is a name coined to mark a growing Festival reflect a growing introspection. opportunities for film students in Australia The categories for excellence will renaissance of South Korean cinema, The winner of Best Film at the Asia Pacific Screen Awards, Secret Sunshine (Lee with a Korean heritage,” says Mr. Tully. span culture, art & design; science, emerging from a contemporary history medicine and innovation; politics and Chang-dong, 2007) portrays the journey “Overall we hope to introduce those that defined by successive military coups and business; community; and sport. of a woman after the death of her have not discovered the magnificence the tight stranglehold of censorship. If you or someone you know is of Korean cinema or the wonders of It was not until 1987, when the husband and son. Similarly, Lee Hey- excelling in any of these fields drop Korean culture to it and hopefully they dissatisfaction of the populace spilled jun’s Castaways on the Moon, which bears us a line at aclassabove2010@gmail. will embrace it.” into the streets in a rather spectacular the dual distinction of being the final com and give us the low-down in 100 series of protests, that Korean cinema film of the festival as well as having its words or less. Successful individuals The Korean Film Festival in Australia became an important vehicle of director in attendance, is about a man on will be interviewed, photographed a deserted island, who is forced to grow will run from October 1 to 5, 2010. and have their profile published opposition. Tickets are available online through black bean noodles from scratch. as part of this end-of-year feature www.moshtix.com.au and www.koffia. celebrating student leadership and In the twenty-first century, the Korean com.au. achievement. film industry has been engaged in a A significant aspect of the Korean 5 OPINION What’s more, if you’re in a profession THAT'S WHAT that is likely to earn less, is in high What the HECS demand, and produces an indisputable good for society you have to pay less. SHE SAID Naomi Hart defends education that is accessible but not for free. And even on top of that, if you never Many planks of the Australian Greens’ and attend classes – students are free to reach that earning capacity, then you education platform merit praise. The pay the same amount as if university was never have to pay a cent. That means foundational premise of the party’s free: niente. both that there are gradations between education policy is that there should lawyers on the one hand and teachers be universal access to high quality Of course, attending university is not and nurses on the other, and between The best hearsay, gossip and rumours on campus. education. According to their official cost-free as a holistic enterprise. But lawyers who work in huge firms on policy document, the Greens will use the costs which students cannot defer astronomical salaries and those who slum SULS: BACK TO A TWO- their leverage in both houses to fight meeting, like transport, housing and it in community legal centres. HORSE RACE to increase funding for universities, food, would still exist if university was increase academics’ salaries, expand the free. Currently, universities and the There are enduring concerns that Until recently, third year Commerce/ number of places available and get more governments use the fees that people pay students are under the burden of debt Law student Alfred Lee was rumoured indigenous Australians, refugees and (either upfront or by way of repayments after they graduate. Again, the debt is to be forming a third ticket to challenge hicks into tertiary classrooms. of their debts) to provide student loans paid back incrementally according to the two already established under James and subsidies for housing, current how much you earn, so those who can’t Mack (current Public Forums Director) and There’s one more critical pillar. deficits of which are the authentic afford to pay aren’t required to do so. Geoffrey Winters (current Vice President Emblazoned across the Education page source of student poverty. Preventing Moreover, the loans are interest free. [Social Justice]). Apparently Lee’s plans of the Greens’ website is a lightning the government and universities from That means that there’s no penalty fell through when he couldn’t find an rod for student activism: “FREE UNI, charging fees at any point would whatsoever for paying the loans back appropriate presidential candidate. NO HECS DEBT”. In their policy hamstring them in their efforts to later rather than earlier – so former document, they expand: they believe provide such services. That would make students are free to take time off to travel Interestingly, it now seems like this tango to that “all people are entitled to free … attending university more difficult for or raise a family before they enter the the top may pitch undergraduate student education” and they will work to provide more people. workforce, or to work in low-paying jobs against graduate student. James Mack “free university education”. If they for a few years before hitting the high was elected to his current SULS position had their way, the government would Given that a system of optional deferred end of town, without incurring any extra largely through the support of his 2nd year “abolish fees for educational services at payments doesn’t impoverish students, liability. grad peers and he has recruited a number public universities for Australian students what’s the virtue in collecting the tab of other 2nd year grads for his ticket. and forgive HECS debts and FEE-HELP at a later date? It’s that tertiary study Perhaps it’s the case that the threshold On the other hand, fourth year Arts/ debt incurred at public universities”. confers immeasurable benefits. Those for when graduates have to start repaying Law student Geoffrey Winters is popular Despite its intuitive appeal, fee-free benefits are felt across society but are their HECS debt is currently set too amongst the undergrad cohort and has tertiary education is a regressive indisputably concentrated in those low, or that the required repayments for mostly pulled candidates from this pool. allocation of resources that will make who attend university. While you’re at certain income-earners are too onerous. universities more cash-strapped and uni, you have access to special loans, That’s a reason to tinker with the figures, Diana Tjoeng less accessible. Australian unis currently transport concessions, unique welfare but not to scrap the approach wholesale. operate under an optimal system, where benefits and the street cred of being a If the people who financially benefit the students are not required (but may, for a student. most from attending university never discount) pay their fees upfront. If they have to pay a dime, two things could choose not to, the government extends More importantly, university graduates happen. People who never attend uni them interest-free loans which they are have, on average, far higher earning or never earn enough to repay their only required to repay incrementally if capacity into the future than people HECS-HELP debt would have to pay their annual income reaches a certain who never grace the Quad, the UTS more for unis. Alternatively, the overall level, which may be never. This is the Tower, the UNSW whatever and amount of money directed towards HECS-HELP system. their equivalents at other unis. The unis could shrink, meaning that course HECS-HELP system is sensitive to this quality drops or unis offer fewer places, Nobody disputes that a person who advantage as it requires those for whom diminishing the calibre and accessibility wishes to pursue education beyond high that advantage is realised – that is, for of tertiary education that everyone school should have the opportunity to people who do in fact go on to earn agrees are paramount. do so. Wealth should not be a discrimen a lot – to make annual contributions of who gets to go to uni. That is an to supporting the tertiary system from excellent reason to not demand that which they derived that benefit. Making students pay their fees before or during university free would mean that instead, FACT! study. But let’s be clear: the fact that at that cost would be shouldered by some point in the future, students will everyone – including those who can’t Black and white are actually have to pay those fees (or part of them) afford to go to uni or miss out by a colours. is not a barrier to entering uni in the handful of marks, and who never derive first place. When people are students, it that benefit from it. That’s why it’s literally could not be cheaper to enrol in regressive. By Nina Ubaldi.

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APPLY NOW FOR 2011 sydney.edu.au/internationalhouse Phone: +61 2 9950 9800 6 The Usual Suspects www.honisoit.com STUFF USYD STUDENTS LIKE #88 Trivia Wanderlust 21st SPEECH Brows are furrowed deeper than the Rachael Hart got caught in the give their son a gun, particularly Well, this is a fine mess you’ve got yourself Mariana Shelf. The tapping of the crosshairs. in a community still healing from into. Who would’ve thought that a moment communal pencil perceptibly increases Guns. I’m not interested in trying violence, and secondly, that the boy of boozy opportunism could have such dire in frequency, striking the table at near- to shoot them. I feel nervous when brought a weapon, even a fake, into a consequences? Actually, let’s ignore that hummingbird wing speed. Schooner standing in front of a disabled cannon. church. The pastor, I thought, looked question and focus on more pressing matters. glasses are gripped with the crushing But when a gun was unexpectedly equally astonished. But then, he fell Don’t think about why you hurdled clumsily force of an anaconda’s jaws. Then a pointed at me in Northern Ireland backwards, his head thrown back, over the velvet rope, past the sign proudly voice breaks the suspension bridge levels on Christmas Morning, 2008, I his tongue lolling out, pretending announcing “Dave’s 21st . Invite Only” or of tension – “I’m pretty sure Eric the Eel experienced incredulity rather than fear. to die! The congregation laughed, what compelled you to insist that you were was from Equatorial Guinea.” There is and the pastor suggested another member of the congregation that the “making a speech” when the bouncer politely a collective sigh of relief. Question 13 of A friend invited me to spend Christmas boy could “shoot”. Kneeling down, asked you to leave. It’s too late for that now. “Round 1: Marvelous Miscellany” is in with his family in Randalstown, a blue eyes intent on his target, the The mic has been thrust into your clammy the bag. Bring on Question 14. sweet, sleepy place an hour northwest of Belfast. Like many towns in boy cried, “Bang!” His nominated palm. The noise in the room has dropped victim melodramatically gasped his to an expectant murmur. You’re on. First The trivia night is tailor-made for the Northern Ireland, it possesses complex stories of the past, from its origins as last breath. The boy knelt again, and and foremost, Honi advises you to open your USyd student. It allows us to indulge an iron mill to the “troubles” of the “shot” someone else, then another. The mouth. It only gets easier from there. in feelings of intellectual superiority if twentieth century. Driving around the congregation laughed and clapped, we remember the capital of Botswana area, my friend described the places encouraging the performance. Once the mouth is open, it is accepted from that World Pol lecture a month where police would check cars, or wisdom that some utterance should issue ago, whilst being in close enough bombs had exploded while he was a Then, to my horror, his eyes met mine forth. This utterance should serve the proximity to the amber nectar child. and I realised I was the next target. function of “breaking the ice”. In the absence of mental degradation to Would I pretend to die if “shot”? Did of an actual ice sculpture to provide physical be regarded as a socially Religion is an important part of all these I want to play along? How could I get accompaniment to this verbal gesture, the acceptable activity. Trivia stories, so I was eager to accompany out of it? “Bang!” yelled the boy... I speechmaker is faced with two options. You jamborees are an undeniably the family to church on Christmas stuck out my tongue, rolled back my can either go balls out or go balls out. The appropriate forum for a bit morning. The pastor began by inviting head and slumped in my chair. distinction may be entirely semantic, but is of harmless banter in the the children to show their new toys I still don’t advocate giving children nonetheless important. If one goes balls out, form of team names, whether subtle and to the congregation. A little girl firearms, but admit that as the literally, the night will end fairly abruptly but pop-culturally aware (“Jim’s Mowing”) enthusiastically waved her teddy. Two congregation applauded, I felt a warmth with the consolation that the convention that from people connecting, creating or blatantly obvious (“Jim Likes To Chat sisters proudly displayed their dolls. one should imagine the audience naked has shared moments in safe spaces. Target Up Girls You’re Trying To Get With Their four-year-old brother stepped up, been thoroughly subverted. HAHAHA”). pulled a realistic (although fake) rifle off of this boy’s gun, I was struck that his back, knelt down, took aim at the people constantly construct the present Going balls out metaphorically usually Someone once said that variety is the pastor and yelled, “Bang!” together, and in Northern Ireland, involves a question: “What can you say about that doesn’t always have to be built in spice of life (probably Mark Twain, this bloke?” and an answer, “He’s an absolute reference to the past. perhaps the most quotable man in I was shocked: first, that parents would fucknugget/fuckcabinet/some amusing history) and trivia nights are never short of a bit of existential paprika. Much CHARLTON LAWYERS like fingerprints, no two trivia nights are exactly the same. Although the rounds format is generally a constant, IMMIGRATION LAW the intervals between rounds really let the quizmaster earn their stripes. Some STUDENT VISA plumb for the heads-tails option, which is always a big hit amongst Simon Says CANCELLATION devotees. Others go for the battle of jokes, a sure-fire winner for the aspiring • Are you in breach of your comedian/casual racist. My favourite is student visa conditions? Famous Faces, where I can put countless minutes of NW, Grazia and Zoo perusal • Do you have grounds to in supermarket queues to good use. seek a revocation of your visa’s cancellation? There is a school of thought that the advent of the iPhone will spell the doom • Do you have grounds to of the humble trivia night. Not so. In appeal to the Migration fact, rather than undermining the whole operation, the iPhone has brought Review Tribunal? trivia diehards together in defiance of knowledge ‘simulation’. Like FIFA, the We can help, but do not delay as trivia community is strongly opposed to strict time limits apply the introduction of technological aids, even to question the veracity of the We offer a free of charge initial quizmaster’s answers. The iPhone also assessment and highly competitive softens the blow of defeat. It is accepted rates for visa cancellation/refusal wisdom that the only reason that group matters and visa applications of suits in the corner won VIP tickets to Wes Carr at the Rooty Hill RSL generally.

and you didn’t was because they were Contact fingering their smartphones the whole Malcolm Charlton time. The phrase “everyone’s a winner” LLB (Melb) is much maligned, but it rings true (if G r a d C e r t M i g r L a w a n d P r a c t ( A N U ) no less cringe worthy) about trivia. If Registered Migration Agent 1067032 you don’t finish the competition with a free jug, alcohol-related paraphernalia CHARLTON LAWYERS or a renewed love of 1975’s best one hit Level 29, Chifley Tower, wonders, you’re probably Bubble Boy. 2 Chifley Square, Sydney 2000 That’s David Vetter to the rest of you. Ph: 02 92169055 Fax: 02 92169060 Morris Schmengy www.charltonlawyers.com.au 7 Top five otherwise excellent things that are fuck/noun conflation.” This approach may ruined by people who like them. precipitate a broad variety of things, some of COUNTDOWN Molly Schmengy them probably quite unsavoury, but no trace of anything resembling a Franz Josef will be left in The West Wing the room. 5

The prolonged heckling that will inevitably By far one of the best shows on television, The West Wing is beautifully crafted, masterfully plotted and follow the “fuckstick” opener presents you with loved by loud, arrogant douchebags the world over. We don’t care if you’re wearing a suit at uni: you’re not another dichotomy: do you leave the premises Josh Lyman, Sam Seaborn or even Will Bailey. What you’re actually doing is making the rest of us look meekly in a light smattering of spittle or push bad. But that’s just such a Toby thing to say. on bravely to the next phase of the operation: the anecdote. The anecdote has three essential Wes Anderson 4 components: a setting, an admirable quality the subject ostensibly possesses and a horrible Let’s face it: you don’t like Wes Anderson. But you know what? That’s totally cool. Hey, most of us incident that completely undermines said here at Honi are split down the middle. But rather than acknowledging that you don’t care for his work, virtue. If the elements are sufficiently generic, you maintain to anyone who’ll listen (for fear of being shrugged to death by hipsters) that you love his the response will generally be quite positive. ‘aesthetic’, that his films are so wonderfully ‘understated’ and then you mutter something aboutFutura . You must be careful, however, to stick to the virtue/ lack of virtue progression, rather than taking the damning character flaw/affirmation Ben Folds 3 of flaw route. There is a world of difference between a story involving Dave’s impeccable We’re not exactly sure what draws a certain type of person to the pop stylings of Ben Folds, but we can manners and an unfortunate incident of public tell you the following about them: They read Terry Pratchett, love Buffy and Firefly, own at least one urination and a story involving Dave’s casual t-shirt with a ninja on it, will try to enforce International Talk Like A Pirate Day, don’t drink often but racism, with an identical climax. when they do it’s port or something else ridiculous, can juggle and will ruin a Ben Folds concert for you.

If the anecdotal wires do not get catastrophically tangled, you are now on the Dolphins 2 home stretch. All that is needed is a grand stand finale. A thunderous “I love you”, You know what? Dolphins are amazing. We’re going to go as far as saying that no matter what you’ve moderate to heavy weeping and some mild done today, unless of course it was using echolation to find your way to class, it’s not even close to the tumescence will suffice. Less welcome are majestic beauty and intelligence of these ancient beasts. So go right ahead and whack one on the small shocking revelations concerning the subject’s of your back, champ. Hey, why not make a shitty painting while you’re at it? sexuality, criminal record and/or addiction to the soft rock stylings of Christopher Cross. French 1 Such provocative statements will incur the wrath of at least one recalcitrant uncle, Notoriously spoken by the French. whether you “Run Like The Wind” or not. Joe Smith-Davies

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Arghya Gupta talks with the provocative,Jamie left-leaning comedian and commentatorKilstein on the eve of his upcoming Australian tour.

Jamie Kilstein is by profession a comedian. ‘here’s where you’re fucking up’.” And a radio presenter. But more so than anything, he is a political commentator. When Kilstein gets up onstage, he doesn’t Kilstein is aggressively left-leaning – want to make jokes, he wants to inspire. from being a strong same-sex marriage advocate (he ran a comedy gig for the “I want to get audiences together. Let’s cause with Josh Thomas, Tom Ballard and find progressives, punks, anarchists, artists, Hannah Gadsby last year) to rabid vegan and let’s come together and figure out (“seriously, we go after cows – they’re the what the fuck we can do to change things. stoners of the animal world. Kill a tiger We have to take what we have – we’re to teach its family a lesson, and maybe I’ll creative, we’re funny, and we have to use chow down”). But unlike others with his these seemingly worthless qualities – ones mindset, he can transform the anger and that your father would say ‘fuck off, get a outrage into humour, going around the real job’ to – to get people excited. world complaining about the issues which affect us all. “If I just come on and say ‘America’s retarded’, at the end of the show no one When I spoke to Kilstein, he was on the wants to do anything. We need to send road somewhere in Kansas City – the messages to politicians to do something, “We’re creative, we’re funny, and we have to use these seemingly worthless heartland of the right-wing Westboro but that could just be me being idealistic.” qualities ... to get people excited,” says Kilstein. Baptist Church – otherwise known as Apathy from the left pool with floaties on? Probably not.” States, Howard Zinn. “I want to get audiences together. Let’s is something which concerns Kilstein a lot, But what angers him more is the attitudes “Zinn was at the forefront of the civil find progressives, punks, anarchists, especially with regards held by those who he thinks hold the key to rights movement. And his book was a best artists, and let’s come together and figure to issues affecting progression. seller for decades. Not like one which made out what the fuck we can do to change America right now, it one week and then it was off the next. such as the conclusion “A bunch of well known atheists have And the cool thing about the book is that things.” of the War in Iraq. come out against the Ground Zero centre it’s from the point of view of the people on as well. I think that’s really ironic. Like, the side.” the “God Hates Fags” group. Proving “A million Iraqis have died. Good work ‘hey guys, do you know who else wants to Kilstein’s approach to comedy is as assholes, we killed more people than restrict religion and make it so only their Kilstein explains how he is influenced by unorthodox as his ideology, he won’t use Osama bin Laden did with his planes. We beliefs are known?’ They’re doing exactly Zinn’s book (who died a week after he was local cues such as the prime material of should be sending them a cheque – like what terrorists do.” interviewed), which he says sees someone the “God Hates Fags” to fuel his comedy. an abusive father who beat the shit out of like Christopher Columbus, lauded as a Rather, he talks about the world at large, his kids, but the wife finally left him – and However, he believes the main reason for hero in mainstream America, differently. with a leftist American twist. repair the people we broke. We’re killing America’s (and the world’s) problems is “Columbus was a genocidal maniac. But people with robots there now. That’s like a that the Left isn’t doing enough. in America, we celebrate Christopher “Any issue I talk about, I will probably bad fucking science fiction movie.” Columbus Day because we get a day use Americans as the example,” says “They [the Left] don’t protest like the Tea off from work. I’m convinced if we got Kilstein, “but they’re issues we deal with Or the Muslim community centre being Party people. We’re lazy. And we’re lazy the day off, we’d celebrate a Hitler Day. everywhere. The war, the economy, human built near Ground Zero in Manhattan. because we’re right. Like, why should I Like, ‘I don’t agree with him, but the guy rights – issues that affect all of us. But “So many of these right-wing assholes have to go outside? They’re [the Right] the had policies, and you have to have a slice what I don’t want to do is go to another are coming out like ‘it’s going to be a crazies. I just want to stay home and watch of this Hitler cake!’ If you get a day off, country, and just shit on America. It’s terrorist breeding ground!’ Really? It’s a Family Guy.” people don’t question shit.” too easy. We’re dumb. We’re Lenny from community centre. Has a terrorist plot ever The Simpsons. I also don’t want to be the been hatched while a guy is in a swimming That, coupled with the collectiveness of What people might question, though, guy who goes to other countries and says the American Right. is Kilstein’s comedy. It takes in a bit of everything from this interview, and more. “What the Right lack in ideas and facts, And you would expect so from the man they make up for in picket signs and lauded as the next Bill Hicks. For those protests. They’re all on the same page. Us who saw him last time he came, it’s a Lefties are so spread out. But the Right, whole new show. If anything, those who they wake up every morning and ask each are normally cynical towards American other; ‘Hey man, are you still crazy? Good, comedians should really see Kilstein, who let’s go and be crazy together and get shit uses the other side of America to get some done!’ whereas the Left are too busy being laughs, for a whole different experience. high.” “There’ll be some material on this and that. Right now I’m just furious at the When he’s not doing stand-up, Kilstein world. But it’s a show, for anyone who has hosts a digital radio show with his wife, seen me, which is more amped. Like five journalist Alison Kilkenny, called Citizen minute songs. But rants, instead of songs.” Radio. Claiming to be like “CNN with more swearing”, the show has interviewed Jamie Kilstein is performing at guests ranging from Noam Chomsky and Manning Bar on Friday 8 October Ralph Nader to Moby and Rise Against. as part of this year’s inaugral USU But he says that his most memorable Campus Comedy Week running interview came with the historian and from October 4 to 8. Kilstein killing it at the Sydney Comedy Festival. author of A People’s History of the United The Arts Hole 9

science: sherlock ohms and medicine: cadavatar dr wattson Sherlock Ohms & Dr Wattson firmly established Though the tongue-twister sketch is Like an episode of Grey’s Anatomy, the directors worked hard to incorporate that apart from solving a Rubik’s cube fastest worthy of particular mention, most of the cast of the Med Revue were so good elements of Avatar, the film was perhaps on campus, science students can also stomp supplementary sketches were a total nerd looking it was ridiculous. Cast with both a not the most practical theme for the the yard. fest with references to X-Men, Nintendo, McDreamy and a McSteamy, Cadavatar’s Medicine Revue. As a consequence, the Pokémon and Harry Potter. Clearly head major stud factor, combined with the script was poor and we were even told in The show was a success despite devoting writer James Colley enjoys the science/ show’s burlesque, bagpipes and back flip the lyrics of the opening song that, “it was as little time to the topic of science, as the geek stereotype and this idea was certainly routines made it a thrilling production just too hard to write”. show’s pin-up, Robert Downey Jr., has to encouraged. and the best faculty revue of 2010. being sober. Aside from these fifteen minutes, Luckily, the show’s many musical directors Charles Tian and Chloe Paul made The revue’s a capella numbers like “I’m Clearly Cadavatar’s writers, headed by numbers, including “Get By With My plain the two apparent passions of a science Jaws” were excellent, though the eight-piece Vanessa Thomas, were deliberate in Friends”, “Feeling Good” and “Please student’s life: gaming and a capella singing. band which otherwise played in songs proved making this year’s show more racy and Stop Conceiving”, were so brilliantly not to be a worthy accompaniment. Not only the girl-on-girl CPR, fireman deficiency performed and choreographed that Happily, Sherlock Ohms & Dr Wattson was did they need more practice, they also looked and committed nude skits proved to be it more than made up for any of the able to overcome a shaky start and found like they had borrowed their dad’s suits. extremely popular with the audience. show’s weaker elements. The entire cast its stride in the second half of the Detective Less sexy but very funny was the video had good singing voices but Anastasia Ohms narrative. The cast were well suited to Monica Connors skit featuring Ralph from Ralph’s Café on Patmanidas in the central role of Coco their roles, particularly Samuel Jenkins who, campus. was outstanding and had full command complete with deerstalker hat and pipe, was of the stage. entertaining as the fumbling Sherlock Ohms. The show did, however, have some unfortunate weak points. Though the Monica Connors

This is literally the best revue I have seen the sketches and songs, including: albino There are a host of hugely talented the negative side of inception, Gary, in over four years. The Science Revue, mutants, the nut cracker, Nintendo 64 people in the Med Revue 2010, Cadavatar, extreme crotch headbutting, gangsta Sherlock Ohms and Dr Wattson in the Charge song, Potter v. Voldemort, QM dreams, ranging from acrobats, tap dancers and Shakespeare, manpons, the single ladies of the Light Brigade, brought amazing rapist bananas, I’m Jaws, marriage breakdancers to fantastic singers and dance and a complete lack of clothing. acting, great comic timing, a fantastic proposal, an amazing nude song, tongue bagpipes! It’s just a real shame that band and a talented group of dancers and twisters, the real side of Sesame St and none of those talents included acting or Med Revue had one of the best bands of singers together to make a great show. the list goes on. Not a single sketch died, comedy. Cadavatar was a very entertaining the season, combining strings and brass All the while coming from a completely which is a testament to the quality editing revue, but it lacked serious punch in any to form a small orchestra. But the sound unexpected source: Science. The only of the directing and writing team. of its (sans)comic sketches. tech was disappointing: all I could hear revues I’ve seen on an even keel with were the drums and piano drowning out Science ‘10 were Law ‘06 and Arts ‘06. Considering the revue got a standing Tacit homophobia, kiddy fiddling, the great string quartet moments. It truly has been a long, long time since a ovation after the finale, I feel no envy necrophilia, extreme Canadian racism, great revue. towards the directorial team for next rectal exams, yeast infections and bogan It’s also a real shame that their best jokes year’s revue: they have big shoes to fill. eugenics were just some of the more were wasted on the title and the pre-revue Admittedly the first act was slow, the horrifying parts of the revue. I am most teaser video. And, considering the marked sketches weren’t as funny and the songs Tom Clement disappointed, however, in the lack of increase in price over all other revues, it’s and dances went on a little too long. But a Fully Clothed sketch. All revues this quite hard to see how Med Revue was even I’ll admit I’m nitpicking here. The year have managed to keep the audience worth it. worst sketch of the first act was probably enthralled with a sketch where every cast the psych mice sketch, and even that got a member was completely clothed. The hearty applause and quite a few laughs. Med Revue failed in this venture, and I Tom Clement was quite thrilled with the results. The band this year was incredible, playing one of the most nostalgic sets in a long Credit must be given to the better parts, time. But what really took the cake were including: an amazing Soulja Boy parody, SCREEN THE DISAPPEARANCE OF ALICE CREED Hannah Lee was less than impressed by the British thriller.

Abductions, kidnappings and other Compston and Eddie Marsan) as they will come out of the kidnapping alive or hostage situations usually rely on a hope threatening phone calls, disturbing whether the kidnappers can bide their carefully constructed plan in order to be photos and videos will get them into her time and manage to get the money – the successful. Movies that are centred on daddy’s pockets. While the two-day plan mystery is: how does such a good story such crimes also follow a plan to reel in seemed simple enough, the tightly bound end up feeling slow and unconvincing? audiences – involving suspense, fast-paced knots of the kidnap loosen when new I’m going to blame the characters and the drama and of course, the question of alliances are established between Alice performances in the film, and argue that whether the victim will be saved, or be and each of the kidnappers, forming while each of the actors did a sufficient able to escape. Once the perfect plan of suspicions and tensions between all job on an individual basis, they failed to a kidnap starts to fall apart, things get three characters as no one is able to trust drive the story as an ensemble, which interesting. With only three characters, anyone or find the best solution to getting was super important considering the fact two days and two million pounds out with the money… oh, and alive. that they were the only three people in propelling the film,The Disappearance the entire film. In the end, the audience She got sass! of Alice Creed is a near-perfect British While the plot is tightly sealed from aren’t going to feel particularly compelled terms of the narrative, but cheats you on thriller on paper; on the screen, it’s not as inconsistencies and loose ends, it is the by any of the characters but by how the characters and acting. Hey, that wasn’t compelling as it should have been. execution of the film that lacks the plot is going to unfold. So like a shoddy part of the deal. heart-stopping excitement expected from ransom agreement, The Disappearance Alice Creed (Gemma Arterton) is a thriller of this kind. The mystery of of Alice Creed delivers what you want in abducted by two kidnappers (Martin the film then doesn’t lie in whether Alice ELECTION SPECIAL ELECTION SPECIAL ELECTION SPECIAL ELECTION SPECIAL ELECTION SPECIAL ELECTION SPECIAL ELECTION SPECIAL ELECTION SPECIAL ELECTION SPECIAL ELECTION SPECIAL ELECTIO 10 The Arts Hole www.honisoit.com sometimes feel – the “blood” dripping down the actors. Horne says, “We’ve got buckets of different blends. On top of that, STAGE quack we have all the recipes of the pus Pristine Ong ducked the blood sluice “a mash-up of A Country Practice, and the gore. Lots of Metamucil and flowing thick and fast in Quack. Deadwood and Shaun of the Dead – a chocolate and god knows what else.” romantic historical western drama noir She adds, “You come out on stage and Caution: Quack contains splattering exploitation comedy. With zombies.” scan where the pus bombs are. It keeps blood, flying intestines and Horne notes, “With something like you on your toes.” orchiectomy. Ian Wilding’s play, vampires, for example, it’s a discussion directed by Chris Mead, is the first of the individual – what happens to The challenge for the cast and crew of production to be staged in Griffin that individual in their life at that Quack is to create disorder. Horne says, Theatre’s newly renovated SBW time, whereas with the zombie genre, “Technically, on a purely performance Stables Theatre. Any stains should be it seems to make more of a social level, just to get all of those explosions easily taken care of by the washing comment. Zombies are usually used and seepings and fall-outs [writer’s note: machine parked downstairs at the to reference society and their greed she means the guts] took a long time to foyer. A word of advice though: or problems. Fanny has a line that choreograph. Everybody was working if you plan on sitting in the front says, ‘They are the catastrophe of our overtime to come up with new and row, wearing vintage dresses is not choices.’” creative ways to make these things work. advised. You’ve been warned. She got sass! It was a team effort.” For a play with so much blood, there Minister in 2010? In a tiny town in 19th century isn’t a lot of violence on stage. “You see On the heightened, slanted stage, the Australia, people are getting really a lot of threats and explosions, but no team consists of Charlie Garber, Chris Fanny Dillon: Yes, I did – though sick and developing an appetite one has inflicted them on anyone else,” Haywood, Jeanette Cronin and Horne. maybe not a redhead. I have a hope for for human flesh. Om nom nom? says Horne. “The violence that is most As Chris Mead requested of set designer the future and I could see it because Fanny Dillon wants to get out of prevalent is the stuff that’s recalled when William Bobbie Stewart, the stage is a if there are people like me around, Nowheresville, someone comes in from the outside slippery slope to hell. there’s got to be more. but the flock of zombies are closing in world and discusses what they’ve seen.” on her. Two Questions for Fanny Dillon Honi Soit: How are you liking Horne notes, “The great thing about the Facebook? Aimee Horne, who plays Fanny, says, human mind is that if you don’t see it Sure, Quack is set in the olde days “Fanny is all about doing – she’s a but you hear about it, you’ll imagine before the internet and the feminist Fanny Dillon: Facebook is awesome. I doer. She’s not about standing about it. More often than not, what you’ll movement. But that’s not stopping Fanny have heaps of friends on Facebook and and discussing it over a cup of tea imagine is far worse than what actually “I Will Survive” Dillon from hopping everyone’s really nice. It encourages while people are getting eaten. She took place.” onto Facebook and logging a survivor’s everyone to come and hang out with becomes an action hero.” Cue the gun journal. I have some questions for her. me. shots, the bloodiness and the chaos. While the play draws from the zombie genre on film, the live experience Honi Soit: Fanny, did you ever think we Go on, look her up on Facebook. As Griffin Theatre blurbs Quack as means the audience gets to see – and would have a female redhead Prime Fanny writes on her wall: Giddy up!

that morning and so there was no fresh avocado. Would we be happy to have the avocado from yesterday which had some guacamole spices in it? This news was delivered with an anxiety that far outweighed the gravity of the situation, and the guacamole avocado was Saffron perfectly nice. So, not really a hiccup Katherine Connolly had souvlaki for at all. breakfast. Weird. And, if you needed any more incentive Saffron is the new kid on Glebe’s café to give this place a try, they’re block, occupying the space left by the introducing a free coffee for uni hapless Fair Trade Café next to Well students at breakfast and lunch – what Connected. It is, thankfully, an enormous awesome icing on top of an already improvement on its predecessor. Once delicious cake. If you’re tired of Well the sulky waitress at Fair Trade told me Connected’s crappy service, or Badde I couldn’t have a muffin from the bowl Manors’ average vegetarian food, or the next to the counter because she and the teeming hipsters taking up all the space three other similarly sulky staff were on in Clipper, or you just like tasty food at their break. Saffron could not be more reasonable prices, Saffron is the place different. for you.

For a start, the service is excellent. The café is starting out in a pretty competitive spot, and everyone there is very keen to GIGITY make a good impression, which shows. get out of the house, we dare you. The service was prompt and friendly, and they let me order lamb souvlaki from Sydney Symphony the lunch menu even though it was only Fellows in Concert breakfast (and they didn’t even know I was writing this review). If the lofty sails of the Opera House have been too daunting in the past, it’s time to experience some serious My food, when it arrived, was delicious. musical high kulcha at a more The souvlaki came with a really good convenient location. The Sydney Greek salad, with cucumber, tomato, Symphony is offering a very special Kalamata olives and fetta. There was student price of $5 for this one-off concert featuring Mozart, Xenakis and a generous helping of haloumi, mint Tchaikovsky with special guest artists yoghurt and flat bread. My friend Shefali Pryor and Ying Ho. ordered poached eggs with avocado, and the eggs met her extremely exacting 23 September 7pm standard of runniness. Only one hiccup St James Church, King Street Sydney – the fresh fruit deliveryman was late ELECTION SPECIAL ELECTION SPECIAL ELECTION SPECIAL ELECTION SPECIAL ELECTION SPECIAL ELECTION SPECIAL ELECTION SPECIAL ELECTION SPECIAL ELECTION SPECIAL ELECTION SPECIAL ELECTIO 11 Hippolytus raised SOUNDS: David Mack chats with SUDS directors Pierce Wilcox and Christopher Hay ahead Tracks IN A of the SUDS major production. SENTENCE Every year the Sydney University Dramatic play is about people who don’t know how come from before you attempt to forge Society puts on a ‘major production’ to be to balance chastity and desire, and they’re the future. It’s so easy for contemporary Joe Smith-Davies samples the single staged in an off-campus, professional venue, people who don’t know how be honest directors to dismiss the Greeks as staid life and suggests some current acting as a showcase for SUDS’ best and with the ones they love. and outdated, but I’d really like to get winners. brightest. This year SUDS is staging the stuck in and understand them, and the Ancient Greek tragedy Hippolytus, as well as HONI: You’re also staging a modern work I’ve done suggests that they’re far Chromeo, “Don’t Turn The Lights a modern response created by the ensemble response to Hippolytus. How have you more exciting and challenging than the On”: This Montreal two-piece never to be performed in the second act. The two gone about devising that? stereotype suggests. stray far from their 80’s influences, and directors, Pierce Wilcox and Christopher this smooth yet somewhat unsettling Hay, spoke to Honi from Brisbane, where HAY: It’s a bit all over the place as a I also think there’s a reason that the groove is no exception. they’ve taken their production, Hippolytus process, really – there were times when I old stories keep coming back. People Raised, for preview performances at the tried to shape it very directly, and other know the Greeks: Medea, Prometheus, Katy Perry, “Teenage Dream”: Festival of Australian Student Theatre. times when the material seemed to be Herakles, Elektra. They’ve always been It may have sub-Swiftian (Taylor, not The SUDS team are the only NSW troupe generating itself of its own accord. I think fascinating and moving stories but we Jonathon) levels of intellect, but it’s still as performing at the festival, which has been that – while not ideal – is fairly typical seem to have decided that they need infectious as cooties. organised by Queensland University of of this kind of process, and it certainly rewriting by an edgy contemporary Technology’s Faculty of Creative Industries. creates interesting results. author. I’d like to cut out the middleman Bag Raiders, “Way Back Home”: and go back to the source. Although it lacks the sheer euphoric HONI: Why the decision to stage HONI: What are you hoping to achieve bumrush of “Shooting Stars”, this has Hippolytus? What elements in the play are with the response? HONI: This is the second Greek tragedy all essential ingredients of a dance floor you hoping will be particularly resonant for SUDS has put on this year after Antigone. staple. modern audiences? HAY: I would love for people to come What’s attractive about ancient Greek out of the second half having felt it theatre for student actors? Klaxons, “Echoes”: In the first single WILCOX: That question is what attracted deepened both their understanding and from the long-awaited Surfing The Void, me to the project. I was tired of plays that appreciation of the first. I think both WILCOX: Most student works tends to the boys from New Cross continue their treated this as a foregone conclusion and Pierce and I were sick of seeing furious be contemporary naturalistic drama, and interstellar odyssey, this time with spikier assumed that you had to set the Greeks on modern ‘adaptations’ of the Greeks, and actors are always looking for something guitars. a spaceship during the French Revolution we wanted to experiment with separating different. Greek drama offers a chance in order to make it ‘relevant.’ I’m hoping out the two halves of that impulse to work with remarkably complex and Kanye West, “Monster”: Featuring that presenting Hippolytus in a classical style, and seeing whether that was any more poetic text, and underneath that text a rogues gallery of music superstars: along with a contemporary response, will illuminating – if the rehearsal process is there’s a lot of raw emotion. Jay-Z and Bon Iver to name a few, the give the audience the tools to make up their anything to go by, then it looks that way most terrifying feature of this hip-hop own minds. to me. Taking the classical approach, like we Hydra is a deliriously manic verse from have, also means the actors get the Nicki Minaj, the heir apparent to Missy I think the Greeks asked exactly the same HONI: Pierce, you seem to have a opportunity to play with masks, music Elliott’s supaflydom. questions that writers ask today. They just particular interest in classical theatre. and movement, which is also a bit frame that content in an unfamiliar form. Why so? outside the norm. That wasn’t meant to Cee-Lo Green, “Fuck You”: A I think these characters are familiar and be alliterative, but I’ll take it as a bonus. somewhat incongruous name given the terribly compelling: they’re people who WILCOX: I’d quite like to be a super-rad tastiness of this slice of hot buttered are full of pride, lust, rage, and don’t know contemporary theatre-maker, but I think soul, which ascends to the heights of pop when to talk and when to stay silent. The it’s so important to know where you’ve cultural greatness for rhyming “Ferrari’ with “Atari”.

thick-rimmed specs, her quiet black Arcade Fire, “Ready To Start”: The SOUNDS t-shirt couldn’t divert the swoons of third cut from the relentlessly-lauded new Washington the “we’ll-swing-both-ways” Oxford St album from the winsome Canadians, crowd. Cuts from her debut album, I “Ready to Start” is a rich soundscape Oxford Art Factory, Sydney Believe You Liar, warmed up audience that demands repeat listening. (12/09/10) and band alike, beginning with the Sufjan Stephens, “Too Much”: Chris Martin thinks Washington is catchy “1997”. A teaser from the upcoming LP Age of simply capital. It took a few minutes for the Sunday Adz, Stephens smashes together electro blips and delicate melodies in a LHC of An afternoon show for the all-age crowd punters to work out where they stood sound. preceded this Sunday night appearance with Washington, squinting around at the Oxford Art Factory, continuing the absurdly blinding stage lights to Mark Ronson & The Business Washington’s run of sold out venues try and spot the star at the middle of International, “Bang Bang Bang”: around the east coast. The likeable but a band of misfits. The grunge-hairy The credible-producer Ronson is back uncaptivating Scott Spark had already guitarist and awkwardly bobbing with this likeable synth-infused number, managed the day’s faux pas, inexplicably bass player were just amusing visual memorable for its French chorus line and telling the tweens that talcum powder distractions from the opening songs. bearing only torso and a singing voice simultaneously retro and futuristic promo isn’t good for the vagina – a story later to disarm. In front of a reverentially Lifted by the enthusiasm of their vid. recounted by Megan Washington silent audience, her three-minute frontwoman, the group embarked between contagious fits of laughter. refrain faded into the distance, too on a genuine rock show that would The Holidays, “Broken Bones”: enchanting for this room to contain. The latest single from these Sydneysiders Come the grown-ups’ gig, Spark’s surprise the casual radio listener. Producer/drummer John Castle’s bass is a multi-layered groove that has its man-and-synth performance followed The winning pair from I Believe You drum pounded through the room and, wistful merits. Winter People, an original collective of Liar, “Rich Kids” and “Sunday Best”, seemingly, the knees of Washington energetic guitarists, delicate percussion were held back until the end of the herself. Even the balladeer pop Emma Davis, “Machines”: The and swirling violins. Hampered by an set. After a painfully long musical moments were powerful, and climaxed debut single from Davis, a USyd inattentive audience, Spark’s bizarre striptease, Washington departed with at the astonishing “Someone Else In alumnus, combines mournful vocals with appetite for digression – and his the tremendous “Cement”, warning, Mind”. a distinctive bassline. altogether more fascinating receded “We’ve only got this one more – you hairline – meant his set was just filler can’t clap any longer, ‘cause we’ve Tucked away on her record’s bonus Deerhunter, “Helicopter”: The before the main act. got nothing else.” Nothing else? After disc, Washington’s live arrangement piercing clarity of front man Chris a night with Washington, the only of this song verges on the spiritual. Cox’s vocals contrasts with an aquatic Megan Washington is the indie hipster’s disappointment is that she’s not this The lighting, smoke and mirrors cast ambience to capture the feeling of a newest dream girl. Bounding on to stage good on the album. dreamy afternoon swim. beneath trademark bowl haircut and the diminutive singer as ghostly, 12 The Mains

the doctor drought Pride of a Nation

Monica Connors takes a closer look at our national debated about how Australia sees itself as with more of an aggressive sort of White a nation and people. Border protection nationalism”. No longer something that identity, and the fine line between racism and patriotism. proved to be a key issue as a spotlight was you just put on a flagpole, come any placed on the deep-seated fears many national holiday, Australians will take the have about immigration. Both parties opportunity to wear our flag. Whether as arlier this year the United Nations the world.” promised to stop boat people, asylum a temporary face tattoo, on a t-shirt or condemned Australia’s government E seekers, international students, David tied over a sunburnt neck, wearing the as racist. Particularly critical of Australia’s Despite successful periods of migration, Jones executives and anyone else who flag now indicates even more than one’s policies on Indigenous issues and however, I find it is hard to ignore was existing in Australia in an “illegal” patriotism. Just like the Eureka flag of the especially the Howard government’s Australia’s often-dubious race relations manner. Though Liberal Party member mid-nineteenth century, the Australian Northern Territory Intervention policy, record. From Australia’s first Prime Ken Wyatt was the first Indigenous flag has been hijacked, has had it’s the United Nations Committee on the Minister Edmund Barton who said, “I do Australian elected to the House of meaning altered to suit a particular group Elimination of Racial Discrimination not think that the doctrine of equality of Representatives during this election, and is worn to promote intolerance. found that racism is “embedded” in man was ever really intended to include elsewhere, Indigenous issues did not Australia. While you may find comfort racial equality”, to the historic injustices feature. It is clear that defining a national identity in blaming past governments, Hey Hey committed against Aboriginals, the Stolen has been difficult even for the people It’s Saturday or even Mel Gibson for this Generation, the White Australia policy, What’s been made clear during this whose job it is to define it. Earlier this assessment, the ugly truth is that of the the Northern Territory Intervention, election and in recent national events, year when Tourism Australia released world’s 38 developed countries, Australia the One Nation political party, the however, is that Australians are very its “There’s Nothing Like Australia” ad is the first and only country to have 2005 Cronulla riots, the spate of violent proud people. We are aggressive in campaign showing white beaches and received this tag from the United Nations. attacks against Indians in Melbourne, defending “traditional” Australian values: kangaroos a post on the media blog and practically anything that comes out mateship and democracy but perhaps Mumbrella called it “bogan pride at its So is the United Nations right? Speaking of Andrew John’s mouth, a national most importantly, giving others a fair best”. Similarly, the previous “Where to former Sydney University student, broadband network of racial hatred go has long been prided as one of our the bloody hell are you?” campaign with Dr Tanveer Ahmed, a very different seems to have existed in Australia’s recent national traits. We like to believe that Shire-idol Lara Bingle, received criticism opinion became apparent. In his roles past. a fair go means being treated equally for promoting a ‘shrimp-on-the-barbie’ as a psychiatrist, opinion columnist for despite your race, sex or creed (unless stereotype. Dr Ahmed, who sits on the the Sydney Morning Herald and former Not everyone, however, accepts Australia your name is Dr Mohamed Haneef, of Advertising Standards Board, said that journalist with SBS television, Dr Ahmed has a racist past. Former Prime Minister course) and there is often an intensity these ads “confirm this long held image has worked in Aboriginal and migrant John Howard rejected a “black-arm with which we will verbally champion this of the carefree, white guy on the beach, communities. Like most Australians, Dr band” view of history and declared right. Professor Hage commented, “Any having a barbecue. It’s still ingrained in Ahmed believes Australia has a racist himself “offended” and “outraged” guiding value such as a ‘fair go’ is good as out international image but it’s certainly past but firmly believes that is behind us. when confronted with the term “racism”. long as it is considered an aspiration that not reflected in anyone who’s lived in Commenting on the UN’s findings, he Echoing these thoughts is Tony Abbott, we are all together working on making Sydney or Melbourne or the other major said, “I’m not one that reflexively bags out who claimed earlier this year that happen.” He added, “It is not good if cities. It’s just not what modern Australia the UN but on this one, I thought it was “Australia has rarely seen domestic some people claim it at the expense of is.” a little bit off the mark and a bit over the discrimination based on race or culture.” others or think they deserve it more than top given how diverse and how successful others.” Last week, Tourism Australia made Australia is.” Professor Ghassan Hage, who lectured at headlines with the news that they are the University of Sydney for 15 years and During the 2005 Cronulla race riots, bringing American television host Oprah Dr Ahmed states that “compared to is now head of Anthropology and Social which made international headlines, there Winfrey to Australia later this year. was a sense of such entitlement by the Accompanying her will be an entourage It is clear that defining a national identity has been Shire locals. In an example of what has of global media networks from the 145 difficult even for the people whose job it is to define become increasingly unapologetic, anti- countries that receive her show, placing it. Earlier this year when Tourism Australia released its Muslim discourse encouraged by right- Australia under arguably the biggest wing talk-back radio hosts such as Alan international scrutiny since the 2000 “There’s Nothing Like Australia” ad campaign showing Jones, a message was sent to hundreds of Sydney Olympics. Our politics and white beaches and kangaroos, one media commentator mobiles asking “every fucking Aussie in people will be, albeit for a short time, called it “bogan pride at its best”. the shire, get down to North Cronulla to commanding global attention, as will help support Leb and wog bashing day... understanding the extent to which racism let’s show them this is our beach and has an impact on our daily lives. It is most parts of the world, we have a Theory at the University of Melbourne, they’re never welcome back.” Five years likely that the new Gillard government’s tremendously diverse society and do presents an opinion more aligned with on there has been progress, with an easing response to the UN committee’s finding better than just about anywhere”. the UN’s finding. According to Professor of tensions in the Shire community; there will be swift, however social perceptions Drawing attention to Australia’s success Hage, the UN was simply “stating the has also been regress Australia-wide in may take much longer to change. in immigration, Dr Ahmed says, “We obvious” and statements such as those terms of increasing hostile displays of remain one of the most diverse, tolerant from John Howard and Tony Abbott nationalism which use the Australian flag societies in the world. We have one of confirm his belief that denial is at the very as their emblem. the highest rates of social mobility and heart of Australian racism. that’s measured by rates of education, While Dr Ahmed disagrees with the income. We have the highest rates of A new government brings opportunity for notion that Australians are “outwardly mixed marriages in the world so there’s change and throughout the campaigns nationalistic”, he concedes that after the a host of factors that really point to us as of both major parties during the recent race riots the flag “has been associated one the most diverse, tolerant societies in election many issues were raised and 13

the doctor drought The other Australians

Diana Tjoeng explores what it’s like to be young and even think of you as Asian.’” who only socialise with people of their own ethnicity. “It is as if they mistrust ethnic Australian today; some of it’s good, some of it’s When asked how he felt about this at the mainstream society and are almost rac- bad, and some of it’s just very, very confusing. time, Law responds, “On one hand, you ist against White people.” think, ‘Well thank God, because if they “ o, where are you from?” While this is just a frivolous example of did see me as what they think Asians are, “We need to reduce cultural ghettos,” how racial difference becomes evident S which I guess is the rest of my extended Nada says. “Instead of inviting people from a young age, many people have had family like maybe my uncle or grand- over and allowing them to perpetuate It’s the one question that plagues any much more malevolent experiences. mother on the street, then I’d get the shit their previous lives and communities in person living in Australia whose skin beat out of me.’ But on the other hand, Australia – merely at a higher standard does not readily burn in the sun, or Writer for The Monthly and frankie there is that conflict, in that, well I do of living – we need to push them to whose eyes are not those you see in magazine Benjamin Law recalls being want to be seen in the way I see myself, integrate with our communities so both Aussie Tourism ads. Often this question the frequent target of anti-Asian slurs and I want you to respect that as well.” cultures can learn from one another. is posed out of harmless curiosity, but growing up on Queensland’s Sunshine I think that means settling people in still the implication is usually this: Where Coast at the height of the Pauline Han- Many young ethnic Australians can country towns and not simply in Syd- do you come from? Because you certain- son era. “During that time, you’d have relate to this experience of being told ney’s west, which is under-resourced in ly don’t look like you’re from here. people more openly hurl abuse at you that their ethnicity is not noticeable, both education and transport.” out of their utes,” says Law, who recently or that they don’t seem ethnic at all, in For many ethnic Australians, cultural released a black comedy memoir about identity is an issue that keeps surfacing his life experiences. “And they always whether they want to think about it or were utes for some reason,” he quips. “One of the problems of multiculturalism has been that not. Ien Ang, a leading researcher in “Because we lived on one of the main it in itself has entrenched that distinction between those the field and former Fulbright Scholar, roads in our area, there were a lot of believes that Anglo-Australians have an people travelling through, and some- who are ethnic and those who are not.” easier time forming a cultural identity times people would just feel extremely than others. “It’s actually more of an comfortable just yelling stuff out at you. unthinking identity that they have the And I would think, ‘Oh my God…I’m what is meant to be words of cheerful Evidently, many people have begun to privilege to have,” says Ang, currently just a kid.’” encouragement. For those who view question the policy of multicultural- a Professor of Cultural Studies at the themselves as possessing multiple com- ism. Professor Ang argues, “One of the Centre for Cultural Research, University Like many others, 28-year-old Law (who patible cultural identities such as Law, problems of multiculturalism has been of Western Sydney. “When you are of a was born in Australia to Hong Kong- this is not constructive. But for others that it in itself has entrenched that dis- dominant group you have the privilege Chinese parents) found himself strug- who want to be seen as solely belonging tinction between those who are ethnic not to have to worry about your identity gling to negotiate being both Asian and to mainstream Australian-Anglo culture and those who are not.” as your identity is not contested, whereas Australian while growing up. since they don’t identify with their ethnic when you are of a more marginalised cultural heritage, or because they view a “It creates an understanding that those background you are called to question “You’d even see One Nation campaign singular integrated Australian culture as who are not ethnic, in this case the much more.” vans pulls into school which made me positive, this is a desirable outcome. Anglo-Australians, are the natural Aus- feel a little bit unsafe being Asian-Austra- tralians and all the others who are only “So as a consequence of that, you almost lian when a lot of the conversation going 21-year-old Mina Nada, a fourth year to be understood as having a particular have to deal with these kind of issues, on at the time was specifically about Arts/Law USyd student and current ethnic identity are not real Australians,” this constant questioning of where you Asian-Australians and how they were USU Multicultural Convenor, is of a she says. are coming from, this constant querying swamping the nation,” says Law. Coptic Egyptian heritage and believes that other people might have with you, that in Australia “there’s still a hard Benjamin Law suggests that the Ameri- whether it’s at school or with colleagues “I remember them [school mates] having debate to be had about how much multi- can concept of a ‘melting pot’ society, or when you’re overseas when people conversations like, ‘Yeah, if they’re go- culture we want”. He goes on to say, where many ethnic cultures contribute ask you where you’re from and they ing to come to our country, they should “My type of ethnicity is common and to form a new national culture, could be don’t want to accept what you say at face speak the language and we do need to easily palatable to people – culturally a better policy than Australia’s current value.” detain them to stop more people from White, just melanin enriched. However, multiculturalism policy of many ethnic coming and we should be able to decide there are a lot of people out there who cultures equally existing side by side This type of questioning starts quite who stays and who goes’ and that sort of are not culturally White.” without significantly influencing one early on. Just think back to your child- rhetoric, which would make me feel a bit another. hood: you’re sitting in the playground uncomfortable.” Nada has organised a number of on- with your shoelaces untied and your face campus panel discussions with high- It appears that there is a pressing need as snotty as the rest of your schoolmates. Law makes the point, however, that his profile figures like John Saffran, explor- for us to think of new ways to facilitate When that special time comes to play high school classmates never actually ing issues such as the Cronulla riots and real cultural harmony while main- everybody’s favourite role-playing game, bullied him for his race, and he was ethnic comedy in his capacity as USU taining diversity and an individual’s Power Rangers, your tiny, eager face fills lucky to belong to a group of friends Multicultural Convenor. He expressed freedom to construct their own cultural up with hope. “Wazoo!” or “Woopee!” who were willing to debate racial issues. many complex ideas about this concept identity. Whatever we come up with, or “Heaps yay!” or “Wazoo! Woopee! But through this, deeper levels of confu- of being culturally White, but his main let’s just hope that future generations Heaps yay!” you yell with glee. But sion over his identity emerged. Law points were that possessing democratic in the schoolyard will be able to choose sadly, your hopes are dashed every time, recounts, “I would point out, ‘Hey guys, values, speaking the English language just which Power Ranger they want to because chances are, if you’re ethnic I’m Asian-Australian. You’re basically and espousing Judeo-Christian mor- play, instead of having one thrust upon you never get to choose which character putting yourself behind this woman who als and ethics appear to be at the core. them by the unthinking assumptions of you play: you only get to be the Power is against me and people like me.’ And Nada voices his concern at individuals others. Ranger that corresponds to your race. they would say, ‘Yeah, but Ben, we don’t 14 The Soapbox www.honisoit.com

explicitly ideological or even partisan, Disguised Bias this is not such a problem. Neither the Rob Chiarella questions the neutrality of the news editorial. Torygraph nor the Grauniad in the UK are Mind Your Manas taken to be ‘neutral’ in their political Generally, a newspaper’s editorial will stances, and they still manage to do The average Honi reader probably doesn’t Carmen Culina investigates the be unsigned. When it is, it is often in the (some) quality journalism. When the listen to Alan Jones. And most of you stirring meditative technique of convoluted form of “responsibility for collective voice of such a paper endorses can probably see through obvious media shaking. partisanship and spot a dog whistle about this election comment is taken by...”, a particular policy position, it is less likely some maligned minority on Today Tonight. eliding the question of actual authorship. to carry an impression of authority as it But what about more respectable forms The idea of the anonymous or semi- is easier to recognise that the publication Twice a week, a group of Sydney- of propaganda? anonymous editorial is to imbue the is engaged in the public sphere as a siders meet and spend two hours opinion with the authoritative stamp of participant, not just a disinterested literally shaking out their physical, On September 9, The Australian’s editorial the publication’s identity, as though it is observer. emotional and mental energy blocks. agreed with Bob Brown that the paper being handed down from high above the Frequently touted as one of the wanted to “wreck the alliance between the fray of partisan or ideological conflict. Australia’s traditional ‘quality’ media world’s oldest spiritual traditions, Greens and Labor”. Not really surprising, Perhaps the most obvious use of this market is unsurprisingly smaller and shaking is experiencing a global though more blatant than usual. More tactic is made by The Economist, which shallower than that of the UK. The revival in a form of bio energy interesting was the rhetoric used to justify keeps most of its articles without author only real ‘broadsheets’ of national meditation developed by Balinese their argument. attribution. significance are The Australian, the Sydney energy master Ratu Bagus. At present, Morning Herald, the Age, and the Financial regular shaking groups and retreats For example, “we believe tax reform The problem here is that the editorial Review. Most capital cities have only one operate in over 20 countries, as equals lower taxes”. Taken literally, is still, at heart, just another opinion major paper. And ‘quality’ broadcasters friendly offshoots to the activities ‘reform’ can mean change in any piece. Perhaps it has been worked on often follow the narrative set by the of the Ratu Bagus Ashram Bali. At direction, although usually the term is collaboratively. Perhaps it has been broadsheets, even if the actual political first instance, shaking appears as intended to carry positive connotations. written by senior staff with more leanings of their staff are different. far from traditional conceptions of The writer argued that the Greens’ experience in actual reporting than your Witness the way the ABC led with meditation as you can get; silence is economic policies “should have no place average columnist. But it remains an stories about leaks, media speculation, substituted by pumping house music, in the national debate” – implying not so opinion piece. ‘momentum’ and other highly ‘meta’ and stillness by wildly enthusiastic much that they are bad because of their topics throughout the election campaign. limb flailing, head bopping and knee methodological assumptions or normative On one level this shouldn’t be troubling. jerking. But in many respects the underpinnings, but beyond the pale of Readers are not stupid, and there is As such, the discursive impact of end-effects (minus the pumping heart- respectable discussion. nothing wrong with anonymity per se. publications like The Australian exceeds rate) are the same, with practitioners But we have to realise that this kind of their readership. The problem is not that aiming to channel energy to connect So who exactly is setting themself up as anonymity-as-authority is a debating they are ‘biased’, whatever that even with their own fiery potential and an arbiter of what should and should not tactic designed to obscure the fact that the means, but that they are more respectable shake their way to happiness, healing be debated? author is participating in a debate. than Alan Jones. and spiritual awakening. And it may not be all talk. In a context where newspapers are For around three years I politely listened to a few shaking buddies dank pit of wank, my friend asked stream accolades about the magic for a chocolate milkshake. The of shaking without ever really ‘bartender’, after recovering from considering checking it out myself. It The Bar Fight the physical illness our naïveté was my mother’s new found ‘I love caused him, indignantly retorted, Sam Elliott likes his chocolate from the bald life’ attitude (almost puzzling in its with a condescending chortle, man, while Tom Marr prefers his milkshake sincerity) coupled with her quasi- “You mean a frappe di chocolata.” No, I from a monk. adolescent radiance after a month didn’t mean that, you fuckcabinet. I of shaking at the Balinese Ashram sagging lifeless banana? IT’S A DICK!”. meant a chocolate milkshake. Then you realise you are drinking a that finally got me curious enough to TM: Behind every great milkshake head along to a Thursday night group milkshake which you actually paid $8.00 For those who go to a modern day milk is a greater man. When you get a meet. If you can overcome the initial for. The Banana Lambada premium bar for history, maybe San Churro is milkshake from San Churro, that peculiarity of being in a community milkshake is certainly a no go at San the place. For those who go to eat, think fellow is San the Man himself, hall with a bunch of strangers who Churro. Three times in a row I have twice. As for the churros, they vary the 16th century Spanish monk are shaking, spontaneously spinning seen this poor excuse for a milkshake immensely in size, girth and rigidity who first brought the wonders of and laughing uncontrollably to loud grace my table with the temperature of (IT’S ANOTHER DICK!). Churros are chocolate-manufacturing from techno music, shaking is seriously a small nuclear reactor. And I ask how Spanish death sticks. Anyone watching the Aztecs to Europe. As you take fun. And if the testimonials of the many churros could San Churro make if the creation of these can’t help but your first sip of that dark, rich shakers themselves are anything to go churros were what we wanted? Probably notice the immense role the deep fat beverage, and its creamy froth by, it seems to have a more profound not many - think of that perpetual, slow- fryer has in their construction. This is washes upon your upper lip as if it effect than the initial endorphin moving line. Meanwhile, Max Brenner is not to mention the difficulties of San were a sun-drenched brook lapping rush. “Shaking makes me feel lighter, all about the queue; whether attempting Churro eating etiquette when ordering affectionately upon the banks of freer and there is a deep sense of to socialise, observe or just get in line, it for more than one. As you determinedly the Manzanares, you can almost contentment and gratitude,” said has it all. Because Max Brenner knows reach out for your third churro, you feel the rich, dark syrup and fluffy Sarah, a twenty-something year old as all good business men do that a queue deflect the glares of your friends hoping oozing ice cream cascading down student I spoke to after the shake. means a light at the end of the tunnel you ordered a fiesta sized plate, not the centuries, from Montezuma to An, from Belgium, said that weeks and also a perfect look at the menu churros for two. What’s this? Someone you, rising up through your straw of intensive shaking in Bali helped visible on all the tables around you. else has grabbed the other end. You like an archaeologist’s substrata her recover from terminal cancer. My reluctantly release it just as they do and rock sample. “Max has a syrupy once disenchanted mum now swears The only Q that stops me from the churro falls to the floor leaving three story too”, you vainly protest? I by it, and joyfully blasts her leafy going to Max Brenner is the strange pots of molten chocolate still half full. beg to differ, amigo. Max Brenner neighborhood with house music for thought of waiting in line for an The others just stare in horror as the is a fiction, a tissue of deceptions, an hour or so twice a day. hour to get a waffle that I could biggest churro makes its way to dessert the wool they pull over your eyes to have made myself at home, and heaven. Guess it’s fingers again. blind you from the truth: that they spared myself all the aloof hipster So consider taking your limbs and an are an underwhelming, overrated open heart along to a shaking meet up waiters and pretentious menu No one but Pol Pot would try to weak imitation of a chocolateria. for some earnest, soul satisfying fun titles. At least when San Churro justify the death of a churro. That’s - or at the very least to see how open get a bit silly with their menu, they not the issue in question. I’d be a SE: You pick up the banana after leaving minded you really think you are. use just one language. Instead, monster to argue that. But you have it on heated tarmac during the middle Max Brenner weaves a farrago illustrated the other advantage of of the day for approximately 13 minutes. For information about shaking group of pretentious pseudo-Romantic San Churro over Max Brenner: no As you peel the flaccid skin and insert locations in Sydney check out phrases, whose use is regimentally one would ever compete for the last the semi-mushy goo into your mouth you www.meetup.com/Sydney-Shaking- enforced at the ordering counter. waffle. think to yourself, “Why am I eating this Last time I entered that dark, Group/about/ 1519 Students’ Representative Council, Going Forward, Skillfully The University of Sydney Annual Election all up in my grill Daniel Ward tears up the skills banner.

The latest Times Higher Education rankings put the University of Sydney seventy-first amongst the world’s universities.

It’s alright. We were beaten by only eight campuses in California. That’s one of the fifty United States. We slaughtered the University of Southern California, the University of Califronia Riverside and the University of Rhinoplasty Venice Beach.

When Australia came sixth at the Beijing Olympics in 2008, there was national gnashing of teeth and a governmental enquiry. Try thirty- A tower of human capitalism. sixth. That’s the ranking of our top – I wouldn’t describe these things as tertiary institution, the University of ‘capital’ of any kind. Melbourne.

There are a lot of skills taught at Now consider the following exchange elections university: accountancy, legal argument, on the ABC’s Insiders program: building an electrical circuit. But on the Insiders Gillard put her finger on BARRIE CASSIDY: [W]ho will take something deeper. responsibility now for higher education? SRC

JULIA GILLARD: Higher education is A brief diversion. I have a law lecturer exactly the same split as it has been for (a supremely skilled individual) who is the last three years. Chris Evans will do wonderful but, well, slow. Painfully slow the work that I used to do … at times. He luxuriates in the factual intricacies of each case. He revels in the CASSIDY: Yes but under what banner? quaint legalese of yesteryear. But don’t worry: whatever we don’t cover in class in the GILLARD: Well under the skills banner won’t be on the exam. No wuckers. of course. Or so I would have thought. But m’ not- VOTE! Of course! The skills banner. What so-learned friends aren’t happy. They else? have quite a few wuckers. Laments one: Polling Booth Times “I actually want to learn all this stuff!” Since that interview Chris Evans has and Locations 2010 become the Minister for Tertiary “You what?!” Education. Turns out there was another banner after all. “It might come up in a job interview.” Polling Wed. 22nd Thurs. 23rd Location Sept. 2010 Sept. 2010 But I like the original banner better. It’s Saddening to think this was the first more honest. time I had ever heard someone in an Australian educational institution say, Fisher 8:30-7:00 8:30-5:00 GILLARD: Well if we step back, I “I actually want to learn all this stuff!” mean we created deliberately a human Even more saddening that my first time Manning 10:00-4:00 10:00-4:00 capital portfolio, the Department of should be haunted by the spectre of a Employment, Education and Workplace job interview. Cumberland 11:00-3:00 11:00-3:00 Relations. But what other attitude is possible in a SCA 12:00-2:00 No polling Poetry. The human capital portfolio. country where the PM puts the entirety Engineering No polling 12:00-2:00 of undergraduate education under the It’s funny – despite the overtly capitalist ‘skills banner’ of the ‘human capital Conservatorium 12:00-2:00 No polling language, I can’t help thinking of portfolio’? Soviet-style five-year plans. Triumphant Jane Foss 8:30-6:00 8:30-6:00 graduates marching straight from Teachers often joke about how we the sandstone halls, skills in hand, to shouldn’t care if something is on the their government-sanctioned places exam – “it’s all about the ‘thirst for in the factories of tomorrow. Cultural knowledge’,” they quip. If education is learnings for make benefit glorious all about ‘skilling’ us (and people who Pre-Polling will also be held outside the nation of Australia. All under comrade assume ‘skill’ is a verb haven’t quite SRC’s Offices, Level 1 Wentworth Building, on Julia’s loving gaze. mastered the skill of grammatically accurate self-expression), if it’s all about Tuesday 21st September from 10am-3pm. Call me old-fashioned, but I thought making productive workers of us, then tuning engines was a ‘skill’. But reading why bother with anything that isn’t on Plato? Analysing a John Donne poem? the exam, because our transcript is the Proving Fermat’s last theorem? Are ultimate measure of our ‘skill’, isn’t it? those mere ‘skills’? With a PM who can’t tell the difference Broadening the mind, asking the between ‘skilling’ and learning, I’d say important questions, discovering the we’re lucky to be as high as thirty-sixth. Paulene Graham, Electoral Officer 2010 Students’ Representative Council The University of Sydney beauties and mysteries of the universe ELECTION SPECIAL ELECTION SPECIAL ELECTION SPECIAL ELECTION SPECIAL ELECTION SPECIAL ELECTION SPECIAL ELECTION SPECIAL ELECTION SPECIAL ELECTION SPECIAL ELECTION SPECIAL ELECTIO 16 The Usual Suspects www.honisoit.com

been hilarious at the time, but we gave up HONI'S SOUNDTRACK TO . . .. partial cApiTALiSation a long time ago. A SPORTING before, you are now. A THEMED 21st Heartfelt Parent’s Speech CHANCE Getting into costume David Bowie - “Changes” Getting the Invite Chic - “Le Freak” As the ‘rents get all misty eyed over the Joe Payten channels Paul the Flight of the Conchords - “Friends” Your wardrobe may not be as extensive baby and the bath water, everyone sighs in Octopus, and accurately predicts the There it is, nestled between the 4 “V.I.P” as Ken’s in Toy Story 3, but with a bass- collective relief that they weren’t named outcomes of all this weekend’s key invites to Sugarmill’s 15 Days Shooting- line as infectious as this, any old duds feel by a celebrity. Zowie Bowie, anyone? football fixtures. free celebrations and an offer to do funkified and miraculously in theme. Roosters vs. Titans postgraduate investment banking in The Cake NRL Preliminary Final Botswana. Stevo’s 21st Invite. Whistle Finding the Right Address Cat Stevens - “The First Cut is The along to this charming ditty as you gaze Bloody Beetroots - “House No 84” Deepest” Todd Carney, despite being possibly the upon the glittering speck of gold dust You’re in the car, music pumping, banter Was going to search for something biggest dickhead in the league, astounded amongst the endless Facebook dross. flowing; primed to party. But this street including the phrase “If it comes out doesn’t look familiar. Surely there used to us again, turning in one of his most dirty,” but thought better of it. incredible performances of the year and Further Guest List Inspection be an old squatter’s shack? Bloody Clover completely justifying his winning of the Bill Withers - “Who is He (And What Moore and her urban renewal. Gift-Giving Dally M medal, as his team romped is He To You)?” The Rolling Stones - “You Can’t the hapless Titans. Braith Anasta’s The sinister bass-line and deeply Matey McBlokebloke’s Speech Always Get What You Want” torn hamstring will prevent him from suspicious tone of Billy W capture the Slim Dusty - “Duncan” Don’t worry mate. A non-refundable appearing in the final, much to the relief mood perfectly as you discover that God, he’s good with a yarn. And although subscription to The Economist. The other of the team and its fans. 1st Year Beachball Hookup, Painfully Slim preaches moderation, you can’t help guys may have got a trip to Mexico, but Awkward Tute Guy and your estranged but sink a few schooies when the doyen of you’ll to be able to read about the dire Tigers vs. Dragons cousin are all in the attending column. dirty anecdotes is on the mic. outlook of the peso and laugh at their folly. NRL Preliminary Final

Buying The Present Cringeworthy Friend’s Speech Drunken recollections When Benji Marshall’s shoulder Julian Casablancas feat. Santogold - Ronan Keating - “You Say It Best Edit Piaf - “Non, je ne regrette rien” dislocated after he ran into a stiff breeze “My Drive Thru” (When You Say Nothing At All)” Although a Spice Girls, Blink 182 or Metallica early in the first half, the Tigers’ inert Retail experts tell me that this song puts This King of Sop standard performs a song may encapsulate your opening 21 orbits attack gave them little hope. In what shoppers into a trance only broken by similar function to the incidental music more appropriately, Piaf ’s famous regret-me- could only be described as a rout, the copious expenditure. So if you weren’t played at the Oscars when things are not fits your maturation into Centrelink card- Dragons put the Tigers to the sword, going to shell out that $50 for cologne/ going to Halle. Yes, that one time on carrying Arts student perfectly. Gasnier running in three tries in the cufflinks/lesser-known variety of Absolut MSN on a Wednesday evening may have Joe Smith-Davies second half and placing his team under huge pressure for the clash against the Roosters next week. the reduction of anti-social behaviour would argue that in a post-9/11 Collingwood vs. St Kilda are causing our city to become more world surveillance measures and the AFL Grand Final ‘fortress-like’. Surveillance and the securitisation of our city is a positive step aesthetics of security seem to be a towards preventing violent acts. And The nation is grieving with the realisation defining characteristic of post-modern when violent acts have occurred we are that they will have to suffer the gloating urban life. all aware and appreciate the role of of their intolerable Collingwood- CCTV in providing the crucial evidence supporting friends for the next year. Our city is heading down the path that in the policing of such matters. The Pies’ three-goal victory sends Mick many other major world cities have Malthouse out on a high, and will bring Ian Mack is watching you. taken. Consider the United Kingdom, Proponents of CCTV in Sydney also Nathan Buckley in under immense where one out of every five surveillance argue that it promotes interaction and pressure for 2011. St Kilda were left Big Brother enjoyed a few high rating cameras in the world is located. A integration in public spaces such as to rue their missed opportunities, most seasons. The audience got a kick out university study in London revealed that the Rocks, Circular Quay and Darling disappointingly characterised by the of watching a small group of carefully an average Londoner is captured by close Harbour by increasing citizens’ sense of wildly erratic kicking of Nick Riewoldt, selected individuals live and interact to 300 CCTV cameras a day. CCTV is safety. If a place in the city is perceived who finished the game with a horrific with one another. Much of the very quickly becoming an integral part as safer, then that could lead to the space 1-14. contestants’ personal lives were on show of crime control policy and social control being used by a broader segment of the for the world to see and any privacy was theory. public for a wider range of activities. But Manchester City vs. Chelsea almost impossible to maintain. But, this is all at the expense of public spaces Rd 6, English Premier League like any good television show, Big Brother In Sydney, as the invisible is becoming becoming increasingly private spheres of eventually joined the land of the lost. increasingly visible, we are seeing regulation, restriction and surveillance. The combination of Drogba’s brilliance Reality TV itself though, has not died, what some call the ‘disappearance and Essien’s brutality saw Chelsea and perhaps the Big Brother phenomenon of disappearance’. Our capacity to Indeed, issues other than privacy might comfortably account for City. Losing lives on albeit in a new incarnation: our maintain a level of privacy in public is be at stake when public spaces are placed three players to horrific injuries, city is the new Big Brother house, and being eroded. under video surveillance. For the Big including a gruesome dislocated ankle we, as inhabitants, have emerged as the Brother contestants, knowing they were courtesy of Chelsea’s Ghanaian enforcer, new stars. The proliferation of CCTV Of course, some may argue that once being watched may not have suppressed the Mancunians could do little to stop the across Sydney has provided the cameras you’ve stepped into the public sphere their eccentricity, but it undoubtedly Cote d’Ivoire star, Drogba turning in a that now capture the daily lives and there is no ‘private’. Others say if you’ve played into their minds and shaped their spectacular hat-trick. interactions of its citizens, feeding the got nothing to hide then you’ve got conduct within the house. In our city, footage back into a central recording nothing to fear, right? Only those who perhaps these surveillance measures And for no reason other than this is the studio. are causing trouble are truly affected by are having a similar affect. Many of most absurd thing to ever emerge from the expansion of surveillance measures these cameras don’t even have recording Phil Gould’s mouth, I will leave you with And as for privacy, well, we have about in our city. There might be some truth devices. Just the presence of the camera, this pearl of wisdom: as little hope in maintaining that as did to this, but to what extent are we trading some argue, reinstates the idea in our the eccentric Big Brother ‘stars’. our privacy for our safety or security? mind that we are being watched and “When you go to the video store to hire should shape our conduct accordingly. a movie, they sort them into groupings If, when walking through the city, you With the increasing paranoia of In this sense, CCTV and surveillance of action, drama, thriller, comedy, feel like you are being watched, that’s communities, perhaps this is a promote a self-regulated city. educational, R-rated, fiction, non-fiction, because you are. A shadow follows you welcomed change. The integration documentary and new releases. I bet you around every corner, into every shop, of digital technology into the urban We are witnessing the rise of defensible could find a Wests Tigers DVD in every and onto every bus or train. network has increased dramatically in space in Sydney through security- one of these categories.” a post-9/11 world, where pervasive oriented design. The unforgiving eyes Let’s face it, urban design measures fears have facilitated what some call of CCTV and surveillance measures are He really didn’t put any thought into that focused upon crime prevention and the ‘securitisation’ of cities. Many reinventing the state of our city. analogy. ELECTION SPECIAL ELECTION SPECIAL ELECTION SPECIAL ELECTION SPECIAL ELECTION SPECIAL ELECTION SPECIAL ELECTION SPECIAL ELECTION SPECIAL ELECTION SPECIAL ELECTION SPECIAL ELECTIO SRC President's Report 17 President's Report Report of the SRC President, Elly Howse // [email protected]

I’m always being asked, “What exactly housing, or the right to live and study in does the SRC President do? How come a society that is free of discrimination you spend so much time in the office / based on gender, race, religion, SRC / at uni?” I always seem to give transgender status, sexuality, (dis)ability rather long-winded and complex answers and age. to those questions, because no matter how much I explain it, I can’t sum up Being SRC President is a really big in a few sentences what the role of SRC job. It’s really easy to underestimate it President entails. because it seems like you never get quick fixes or solutions to problems, and so Firstly, it’s true – I have no social life. then it can be really easy to flippantly say I spend a huge amount of time either “Oh the SRC hasn’t done anything for in the SRC offices or on campus years” or “The SRC President is shit”. you can see how something that sounds somewhere having meetings, talking to Unfortunately the SRC is part of a huge I think one thing our uni lacks is any very basic and boring could potentially staff and students etc. Just to give you an bureaucracy that exists in our university, sort of clear system to deal with student- have a huge impact on students’ idea of what’s involved, I sit on over 20 and thus you can start to understand student (and student-staff) grievances like wellbeing and the general university committees, boards and working groups, why it sometimes takes months, even bullying, harassment, discrimination, community. most of which meet pretty regularly. years, of working on the same thing to complaints and disputes. Where do As the core representative for all get the outcome you really want. Being students go when they experience this? Being SRC President is not fancy. undergraduate students (32,000 of them) SRC President is about being patient They usually come and see the SRC It’s hard work, not many people at the University of Sydney, I’m the first and willing to put in 60 hour weeks for (as we’re independent from the uni and acknowledge the effort you put in, some person who’s called whenever anyone an organisation, a student body and completely confidential) or, unfortunately, parts of the student population slander ever wants to know anything about us a university that you love. Being SRC many students just ignore it and hope it you and the SRC, you give up on seeing undergrad students. And yes, before you President is about listening and talking goes away. If the university has a project family and friends, and you sometimes roll your eyes, I am actually a student – with students regularly to find out how to designed to assist staff complaints and spend whole weekends reading apologies to my lecturer whose classes I make our student experience even better. dispute-handling, why isn’t there one submissions, policies and official-looking haven’t come to for a few weeks! solely focused on students? university documents. A lot of the stuff I do may seem really Secondly, I’m also responsible for boring. For example, the uni is having a This is one thing I’ve been working on But I wouldn’t go back and change a running the SRC itself, an organisation big overhaul of major policies and rules, for awhile and speaking to people about, thing. I have truly loved every moment that has a budget of $1.4 million, particularly the Coursework Rule. I get so I suggested to the VC on Friday at a of representing such a fantastic group employs more than 15 staff, has many the ‘exciting’ (read: dry) task of being on meeting that we could have a separate of students, and thank you to those of different student activist departments, a working group that is drafting the new Workslate project that investigates you who email me to tell me I’m on has an amazing second-hand bookshop version within the next month. Another student complaints and suggests possible the right track and doing a great job. It and prints the lovely newspaper you’re thing that I’m excited to be involved in solutions. One solution is to have a means a lot! Thanks also to the peeps out reading right now. The SRC has weekly before my term ends in 2 months is a Dean of Students model – someone there who email / tweet me suggestions or fortnightly meetings of the SRC possible new Workslate project by the who is essentially an ombudsman for about things I could be looking at. You’re Executive (depending on how busy we Vice-Chancellor’s office. So you probably any student complaints, whether they keeping my ‘To Do’ lists very long… all are), monthly Council meetings and heard all about the Green Paper, White be towards a staff member or a student. weekly collective meetings as well. It’s Paper and Strategic Plan earlier in the Then students will have a really clear The SRC is an amazing organisation my job to facilitate all of that, but I also year? The Workslate program is all the path to follow if they need to make a representing and helping an awesome facilitate collective organising on campus tasks the VC has collated that need to complaint or they feel uncomfortable undergraduate student body. So make for students’ rights, whether that be be done in order for the university to about bullying, harassment or sure you vote this Wednesday 22nd and the right to a fair university education, achieve its strategic goals. discrimination. The VC seemed to see Thursday 23rd September in the SRC transport concessions, welfare, low-cost the point of a project like that, so I’ll keep you updated on how it goes. But elections and support the organisation that supports you!

SRC Honi Soit 'Opinion Competition' Get involved! Come along to a collective... Women's Collective: 1pm Thursdays, Holme Women's Room. WIN $1000 Now open for entries! Queer Collective: 2pm Mondays, Queer Space Holme Buildin Available to all Sydney Uni undergraduate students! Environment Collectives: Competition closes 5pm (EST) TUESDAY 5th October 2010. Student Enviro Action Collective (SEAC): 1pm Mondays, Botany Lawns See the back cover of this edition of Honi Soit for details, Climate Action Collective: 1pm Mondays, Chancellors Lawns or visit www.honisoit.com 18 SRC Help www.honisoit.com Did you know?

You have 15 working days to appeal a mark or plagiarism decision To get help with an academic appeal Contact SRC HELP... Phone: (02) 9660 5222 email: [email protected] www.src.usyd.edu.au SRC Reports 19 General Secretary's Report Report of the General Secretary, Donherra Walmsley // [email protected] So it’s week 9, assessments are piling up, changes do not, however, go far enough. Sunday especially are currently a joke, but the sweet relief of the misleadingly The age of independence (how old you and we need an SRC next year that will named “mid” semester break is almost must be to automatically qualify for continue to work with the University on here. Remember that if you’re struggling Youth Allowance) is only being lowered addressing this issue. with your assessments, think you’ve been to 22 – most students have finished their This year the SRC tried to get HECS marked unfairly, need help applying undergraduate degrees by that time! places for Summer and Winter School. for special consideration or special We need a strong National Union to Sydney University is the only Group arrangements, the SRC has caseworkers continue to fight for further reforms to of Eight university to charge full fees available to help you out, so drop by. Youth Allowance and other forms of for Summer and Winter School, and website up and running, which is income support in the coming year. This year has been a really big one this year they refused to change that. incredibly exciting. The editors all worked for the SRC, and we’ve achieved a lot This year we also got library opening They did, however, triple the amount of very hard to put together such a quality of exciting things. At the beginning hours extended during Stuvac and scholarships available to students who product, and it’s been fantastic being of the year, we ran Noodle Day to exam period, despite the University’s want to undertake Summer or Winter part of such an enthusiastic team who’ve draw attention to the inadequacy and reluctance to believe that students School. I don’t think that’s enough. The consistently put in so much effort to make inaccessibility of Youth Allowance, needed to be up studying so late. The University should provide HECS places, sure that the SRC moves into the 21st which was a huge success. Over 700 University is also looking to create 24 and I believe that with a strong SRC century. students attended, and changes to Youth hour study spaces on campus, which it next year, they can be convinced to do The SRC has achieved so much this year, Allowance eventually passed through the will do in its redevelopment of Carslaw so. After all, admitting that there was I hope that next year’s team will be able parliament, thanks to many hours (years) and PNR, which should begin next something wrong with the system this to build on our successes and continue of lobbying by the National Union of year. These are great wins for students, year is the first chink in the armour. fighting for high quality, accessible Students and campus activists. The but we need more! Opening hours on a This year we also got the Honi Soit education at this university. Women's Report Report of the SRC Womens’ Officer, Rosie Ryan // [email protected]

Last week was the 18th Ernie Awards, the a ‘precious gift,’ and saying that women Presenter Genevieve Jacobs, who asked annual awards night for sexist behavior should only be elected on merit which is Tanya Plibersek, “Do you feel bad that which aims to point out the most blatant why there aren’t many. He took out both other people are raising your children?” incidents of sexism from our politicians, the political Ernie for 2010 and The Personally, I think that this category lawyers, sporting stars, celebrities and Clinton, for repeat offenders. should have gone straight to Bettina organisations. Every year women from Arndt for her crusade against women Men’s magazine FHM took out the throughout the community gather in who don’t consent to sex with their Media Award for publishing the “Are NSW Parliament and hold a ‘boo off ’ partner whenever it’s demanded. you man enough for her” quiz which from the hundreds of nominations gave men 10 points for having sex with a Clive Palmer appeared on Q&A telling that have flooded in throughout the woman after she’d said no. Tanya Plibersek that, “you shouldn’t get have this year been awarded to young, year. The night is a chance to reflect too excited in your fragile condition.” For university educated men. Not only that, on the year that was and publically hold The Clerical Award went to St Paul’s this he shared the Industrial Silver Ernie but because of wealth and connections up sexist community figures for some College for the “define statutory – pro- with the Former David Jones CEO Mark these are the men who will go on to pretty outrageous statements, and it’s a rape-anti-consent” facebook group. McInnes. be the wealthiest and most influential timely reminder that while we may have Tanya Plibersek, the pregnant Member The overall winner of the 2010 Ernie people in our courts, corporations’ and progressed we’ve got a way to go before for Sydney, has copped more than her Awards, and recipient of the Gold communities. these awards become redundant and share of sexist comments about her Ernie went to our very own St Paul’s we’re scrambling for nominations. condition in recent times, with two Maybe this year the message from Ernie College. It’s pretty disturbing that the Awards is aimed to our generation, that This year Tony Abbott was shortlisted comments winning Ernie awards. The awards, which generally are thought we’ve got to be looking to our own social in five categories, and won two, for Elaine, for remarks least helpful to the of as going to your stereotypically circles and educational institutions when comments about women’s virginity being sisterhood was given to ABC Radio backward 60 something Aussie bloke, challenging sexism in our society. Education Report Report of the SRC Education Officer, Gabriel Dain // [email protected] New Government, New Rules been split into three ministries: MP In terms of the make-up of parliament, Both the Greens and the ALP, and Peter Garrett will take Childhood university students should expect a most of their elected MPs, have signed Development (primary and secondary lot of progressive change from having the Vote For Students pledge from the A lot of exciting things have been education), Senator Chris Evans will the Greens in the balance of power. National Union of Students, which happening in the world of politics lately. take Tertiary Education (that’s us!), Their policies include increasing formalises the government’s support We have a new government, borne of and Senator Kim Carr will take Post- Youth Allowance to a living wage, and of increasing funding for universities, collaboration between two parties and tertiary Education. Whether this set up repealing Voluntary Student Unionism, creating a more equitable system of a handful of independents. We have a is more conducive to positive change is which would bring student organisations student income support, supporting new rulebook, so to speak, as a hung yet to be seen, but the fact that we now back from the financial hardship they independent student organisations parliament work very differently to what have a Minister who is dedicated to have experienced for the past 4 years. and delivering affordable student we are used to. We have a new cabinet, Higher Education will make lobbying, Labor has taken action on these issues in accommodation. Though it will be no and the implications for university negotiation and campaigning much the last 3 years, and with the Greens at easy ride for the SRC and NUS, it seems students are interesting. easier. My concern is that not having their side I expect that we will continue like the stars might be aligned for 3 years all stages of education under the same in that trend. of real, progressive change for university There is no longer a “Minister of ministry will make collaboration between students in Australia. Education”. Instead, the position has them more difficult.

Bletchley Park www.honisoit.com 20 DAVIS BENNY THE HONI SOIT CROSSWORD Across 8. Made up a German song (4) 1. Professional was formerly chirpy (6) 11. A barbaric talk show host? (5) 4, 23 The minimum amount needed for 14. ABC programme where you might reaction of a heckling crowd? (8, 4) pretend to learn (4, 6) 9. Notwithstanding, the fifth note is flat (4, 17. Vice yearning to surround bad start 2) makes Cruella de Ville, for one (4, 5) 10. Provisional item for a constituent part 18. Are you able to say this country’s (8) name? (5) 12. Negative 10-across to vote for Reagan 20. Ever sob about view? (7) (8) 22. How many a single is, and how many 13. Reject Big Apple after writer turns up Highlanders there can be? (4, 3) (4) 23. A modest rodent? (5) 15, 21 The fastest speed of an airport? (8, 25. One time in English, eleven in Spanish! 8) (4) 16. Also a wave (2, 4) 26. Great amounts up and out the nose (4) 19. Open extra doors wildly for cowboy

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1. What city does Jamie Kilstein reside in? 2 7 4 3 5 2. In what year was Korea’s first colour film released? 3. Which archaeologist is credited with the discovery of 4 8 7 King Tutankhamun’s tomb in 1922? 4. The Belfast Agreement was signed in 1998 on what 8 2 religious holiday? 5. Who gave the speech titled ‘I Have Never Been a 9 8 1 4 Quitter’? 6. Where was Megan Washington born? 7. In the classic version of Trivial Pursuit, what colour are 6 9 the Entertainment questions? 8. In Greek mythology, who is the father of Hippolytus? 5 2 8 RATED: we honestly don’t know how hard these things are 9. What country was Max Brenner founded in? 10. What year was HECS introduced? 7 2 5 8 6 11. What is Ben Folds’ real last name? 12. Who is Australia’s Minister for Immigration and 3 9 5 Citizenship? RATED: Easier than a 13. The food ingredient saffron is made from: sandwich. (a) the drained pericarps of a plumule (b) the dried stigmas of a crocus (c) the dampened stamens of a cyclamen 14. How old was the oldest duck ever to have lived? Mr Squiggle 15. Who originally recorded the song “Shake a Tail

Feather”?

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) 3. Howard Carter 4. Good Friday (it is also known as the Good Friday Agreement) 5. Richard Nixon 6. Port Moresby, Moresby, Port 6. Nixon Richard 5. Agreement) Friday Good the as known also is (it Friday Good 4. Carter Howard 3. ) ( 1949 2. York New 1. The Women’s Diary Women’s The The Hover Garter THE ONLY PAPER ENDORSED BY THE GIANT ANTS

ISSUE: 7/10/2011 EST: A Simpler Time Price: 45 EarthPennys Robots THE “I GOT Robots MOON CLOUD Robots Tips for ALL IN MY robots avoiding MOUTH” robots the and 10 other Pet Peeves robots crowds of flying car owners robotS Cyber Parliament Hello there gentlereaders and welcome to debates laser tax The Garter for the 7th of October, 2011. We never used to have these editorials, but now we do, so stuff you, Dave. In today’s edition of The Garter we take a sombre look at the horrifying events of 27/10/10, as well as some great pictures of my cat in a space helmet. A fierce robo-debate in a sitting that took over 6 metric hours has split the As always, enjoy! hover parliament over the controversial Dolores - Editor of The Garter Press laser tax, due for consideration in the Senate3000 in early Spacetember.

The tax, which would place a levy INSIDE the usage of lasers (both recreational and professional), has proven to be Life - p5 the most divisive issue in the House of Top 10 Tips on using fairy Robosentatives since the return of the lights to brighten up that giant sand worms. cold industrial wasteland Opposition to the much maligned tax is growing, with calls for its removal News - p8 coming from both the ground and sky Man gets shot after doing benches. the terrifying, brutal and sexy sport of The argument comes only 3 rotations The Robot too well FutureGolf.” of Moon II after another heated row Deep Blue argued fervently from atop in the Cyber Parliament about how his speaking disc, that the proposed At the height of the debate, with Tech - p10 to deal with the increasing arrivals of tax would affect many more nano- many MPs already reaching for their Review of Apple’s new Hover Boat People. industries than the powerful laser blasters, the calming face of Prime iJobs – just another wank, sector. Minister Mulchbeast was projected Prime Minister Mulchbeast threatend to or something more? from one of the holodecks, adjacent to release the wasps if - (cont page 4) “This will impact all major industries, the Electric Septre of State. be they key transportation, tourism or Critics note the stark contrast in quality Prime Minister HONI SOIT: with last year’s paper, which has Mulchbeast’s Approval “SHITHOUSE” recently been released in individual hard Rating Continues to copy editions by Penguin Classics, and Spiral ever upwards critically received as “fucking amazing”. The series has been sponsored by the Nelson Mandela Fund for Literature and Peace, and after the editorial team died A recent survey by the local university tragically in the events of October 27th, Delivering the Daily Orders from has revealed that student newspaper, 2010, a trust has been set up in their the Prime Minister’s Balustrade, Honi Soit, is this year, as a general rule, names which teaches orphans how to Prime Minister Mulchbeast’s Mulchbeast thanked the public “shithouse”. edit student newspapers. approval rating has risen for the for supporting his recent efforts to fourteenth time in as many days, replace sea water with the liquid The SRC President has been quick to following his ascension to the new from a million jars of pickles, in a defend the newspaper as a worthy Prime Ministerial throne after a speech too aurally nausea-inducing contribution to student life, citing a slimy but bloodless coup earlier this to reproduce here. survey which shows that only one month. in every thousand Garter University It is speculated that the boost may students strongly disagree that reading The ratings growth has been be linked both to the fortuitous the newspaper is a valuable use of popularly dubbed ‘Mulchbeast events of October 27th, as well their time, a percentage corresponding Fever’, not to be confused with the as the woeful performance of the exactly with current readership figures. Mulchbeast Influenza cultivated Prime Minister’s opponents, with and spread by the senior statesman opposition leader Julia Gillard’s Honi Soit has also made an appearance earlier in the year. Notwithstanding rating inexplicably dropping in this year’s Top 10 Worst Things You the difference between the two, below -10,000%, the lowest for Can Do With a Piece of Paper list, saved there is no denying the similar any opposition leader in recent from the ignominy of first place only by speed, efficacy and frenzy-inducing Australian political history. the inclusion of ‘toilet paper’, ‘paper effect of both. cutting your eye’ and ‘The Bull, 2011’.

COMMENT

player taking an outrageous Whilst many people will say Sandworm Challenge as a wedge shot from halfway that the bonus rounds don’t double-points round needs to down the court, shooting a need changing, they forget that be rethought, because we all A GAME 3000-pointer from the tee-off, we have welcomed stricter en- know how that turned out last or making the Bare-Footed forcement of laws in the past. time it was enforced. Hoverdash Across the Mine- Whether it was encouraging OF TWO field of Futurepain, it seems players to wear steel-capped What I want to suggest, like every part of Futuregolf boots during the Bear-Taming though, is an independent com- is necessary for the horrify- contest, or making them take mission to investigate the sport. HALVES ing enjoyment that only it can tests for performance-enhanc- We need a commission that With Sir Rick Brumby provide. ing laser weaponry, they were isn’t afraid to ask the tough changes for the better. questions, like, “Is it necessary To start with, the bonus rounds In light of the recent events I searing-hot lasers, we need to place the spectators’ seating have always been contro- mentioned in last week’s future- to ask, after the incidents of Of course, we will keep the just six inches above a pool of versial, and no one needs column, I think it is high time 27 October 2010, and the helmets, the kneepads, and the molten futurelava when there reminding of the last time play- we had a very close look at horrifying conclusion they flame-retardant facemasks, but is no logical rationale for do- ers competed in the Robotics- our national sport. Yes, ladies, were brought to just last week, perhaps, in the modern era of ing so?” Whilst no one is sure Building and Real Tiger Shark gentlemen and transgender whether Futuregolf needs an the sport, that’s not enough. what the future will hold for Riding Test of Character and cyborgs, I’m talking about overhaul. Futuregolf, we can be assured Fortitude, introduced by Dr. Futuregolf. Perhaps we need to necessitate that, as long as we’re in the Of course, none of us can Ivan D. Mulchbeast during his that players carry two, rather future, we can be confident terrifying reign as Supreme Whilst none of us can imagine imagine the sport without all than just one, fire-extinguishers that no one’s going to throw Commander of the FGU. Futuregolf without the clubs, of its archaic idiosyncrasies we with them, both on and off the hoverboard out with the roller blades, hoverboards or know and love. Whether it’s a the course. Perhaps the Giant rebirthing plasma.

in the world. If you are any- Why do we live in a world Let me just state my case thing like me, you long for where the simple half-and- right here. I am not some those good old days when full-flush system has been re- Johnny-hates-lasers anti- our children could fire down placed by a gradient system technology freak, but I Do Not home-styled guns with real, based off user feedback? enough is enough. We have wholesome, armour-piercing What does the “Internal Su- lost our way as a people. Require a bullets. pernova” button do!? WHAT We need to return to the DOES IT DO!? SuperToilet simple life, where you And then today, the Mail- ploughed your own fields, Clone left a package at my The simple outdoor shed raised your own cattle, LaserDoor without so much with its advanced “hole” and synced your own iPod. as a “please” or a “Hail system and delightful spider What I am saying is - in no Zarthon”. What was in it, friends was all I needed. way do I now, or will I ever, you may ask? A SuperToilet. At no point did I long for require a SuperToilet. A SuperToilet I did not need the SuperToilet’s customis- or want. able colours. I didn’t need Society is out of control. turn down a glass of orange think about it - the core-temperature seat. I juice and access to any of The streets are littered with What happened to the good never asked for symphonic 10,000 volumes of catered Oh my god. I love the discarded, destitute robots. old days when someone toilet paper! bathroom readings, as read SuperToilet. How did I Our school system is filled could go to the bathroom with the worst kinds of by Sir Ian McKellan. And of live without it? Thank you, in peace without having I mean, sure - it’s nice to space mutant. Our children course I, like many others, SuperToilet! You and you their morning constitutional be greeted every morning are running wild in the thought the HydroPump was alone make this brave new synced to the Pink Floyd with a laser show and a list streets firing death rays at the stuff of dreams - but - world bearable. track that most suits today’s of heart-felt compliments. one another without a care honestly, well - when you biological function? And, yes, I’m not one to

hellhole. The entire experience, whelmed. The supercarbonated Peddlers try to offload hunks of Never from go to lunar woe, was the stuff drink had far too many bubbles, valuable lunar lumps, there is of travel nightmares. the stewardesses were poorly- graffiti on every major crevice programmed and glitch-ridden and (and crevasse, for that matter) and Fly Me It didn’t take long for the cracks the seats were not nearly support- everyone jostles for position to take to appear in my best-laid travel ive enough. photographs that have been taken plans. For a start, getting the flight at least a zillion times before. To The was purgatory. I arrived at what I At least the hotel was nice and I thought was StarJet space terminal had a lovely view of The Great But The Sea is, well, tranquil, 1 to check in, only to be told I was Sea of Tranquillity. Unfortunately, compared to the horrors of the Moon a actually at the JetStar terminal, “Great”, “Sea” and “Tranquillity” crater of Daedalus, apparently and although they could get me are all misnomers. Why I ventured the “exquisite beauty spot of the extremely cheap flights to the out of my sleeping chamber, with Moon’s Cindy Crawford-esque Again place where large fragments of its comfortable, four out of five visage”. Well, it looked like a Russian space station MIR hit earth Earth levels of gravity, is a source fucking crater to me. Although the and “that Rosebud place where of endless regret. The Sea is abso- robo-guide was at pains to point Well, that wasn’t what I paid catchy slogan “The Moon: It’s Out all the aliens landed”, they weren’t lute garbage. Not only is this so- out its terraced interior, and cluster thousands of Virtua-dollars for. Of This World!!!” and the promise in the business of interplanetary called “marvelous mare” actually of central peaks, it was still a bowl What can I say; I was sucked in by of a stunning moon-tan that would travel. a barren, featureless wasteland, of grey dust. the fancy geostationary satellites- make all my girlbots jealous. Who but it is a hideously overcrowded, and whistles ad campaign, the knew that the Moon would be When I did finally board StarJet barren, featureless wasteland. Whilst space may be the travel such a god-awful, tourist-infested Flight 345, I was thoroughly under- final frontier, I still prefer Phuket. HENDERSON’S MOTHERFUCKING EMPORIUM OF GODDAMN WARES Step into the fucking future, cockknob, with Henderson’s Fucking Emporium of Goddamn Wares. You’ll be transported to a wonderful fucking wonderland of shit; including, but by no means limited to:

Rollerballs, Steam Powered Lasers, FutureCrocodile, Computer Poop, Spare Keys for Your House or Somesuch, Antique Dildo, Arctic Hippo, SpaceDick, The Snowdens of Yesteryear, Overalls, Undernones, CyberBasoon, Cake or Not, A Big Bag of Peaches, Dick Wolf’s Wolf, Cat Stevens’ Cat, Wayne Swan’s Balls.

Make haste or make no mistake, we will knife you up good. The Garter Press Lifestyle

still performs all functions, 11001001110011011001010 COLUMN∞ +1 including recording 3D 110110001100110001 :) movies, storing 7 million songs, paying your bills, James Scully, Pymble, 3rd THE world’s your bbq w/ our pleasuring your wife, feeding 01110100011010000110000 Quadrant, comments on new global warming kit – the Third World and the 10110111011010110010000 the recent discovery by throw out, fire up, and chow Wingardium Leviosa charm. 001111001 01101111011101 scientists, that elbows are in down! ¥89.95, 1300 423 342 ¥3299.24, call 3488 2840. 01010000001100110011011 LOOKING for double plus fact evolutionary relics of 11011100100010000001110 good woman for triple plus what were once a sixth pair of SOULLESS technology in 10001100001011010110101 good time on a quadruple fingers: “Bullshit!” he says. We which to lose your sense of 1011100110011100100000 0 plus good fun weekend at tend to agree, Mr Scully! humanity until it’s almost 11101000110100001100101 my quintuple plus good too late and you discover 00100000011101000110100 beach shack at a town which ONE Dystopia. Orwellian “Try this on for size,” says pre-industrial wisdom and 10110110011001010010000 is pretty middling I guess. or Huxleyian preferred, but Marg Watson, Balmain Sink destroy the technology in 00111010001101111001000 Call me double plus now! any old Phillip K Dick will do. Hole, 17th Floor Down, as act of catharsis. ¥7.2, 8923 0001110100 0110010011000 429 Call Joe, 9234 5289. she lines us up for her pithy 4892 01011011100111001101100 political observation of the 11000010111010001100101 NDR ROBOT named ‘Andrew’ week and then surprises us A DVD of last year’s Oscar 00100000011101000110100 with unprecedented human Best Picture, Cloudy With A all by holding out a t-shirt. 00110100101110011001011 emotion and a voice similar Chance of Meatballs. Truly a 1000100000 0110011101101 to that of Robin Williams film for the ages. 9299 1414 “Why, I can’t even check 11100100000011001100111 seeks other sentient the footy score on TV ROQUETTE BOOTS. No, 01010110001101101011001 robots and an escape these days!” complains Ben that’s no typo - I have boots 00000011110010110111101 from this B-Grade film. Psiduck, Drummoyne, Cloud made of salad. Dressing 9/A, speaking of the ample optional. coverage of the lead up to the first anniversary of October DOLORIAN – send ¥3.5m to Fashionistars THE GILLARD GOVERNMENT 27th 2010. Ben, you can find 9 Selwyn St. Wollstonecraft finally lost its grip on life the footy score up your ass. in four years ago. this week after a prolonged Have a bit of respect. and drawn out death HOOVER board – good, clean period. While this doesn’t We help you figure out what’s hot and Lucy Rose of Wollstonecraft, fun for the lads – ¥55.00, come as too big a surprise, 5th Dimension, has a ‘bright’ 9931 8923. what’s bot this season... we still mourn its flailing idea for all those ‘dim’ people

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binge, overdosing in the bread!” You’d promised us FLOATING brain in a tank – Chateau Marmont in Los something different, Lucy. allow to take control of the Angeles. The former teen free world with psi-power idol lost much of his career “Takes one to know one,” or serve crumbed with success after the infamous suggests Stevie Winters, Stevie mayonnaise, your choice. ‘Nazi Testicle’ episode, Winters, Stevie Winters, Stevie ¥6.30, 0239 8923 PVC OnePiece Flying* Coathanger Anti-Matter spending much of the past Winters, Stevie Winters, Stevie “the very fabric year in various prisons and with free super- ¥159 Winters, Stevie Winters, Stevie iPHONE 5: Second hand but rehabilitation centres. babedom ¥99 *depends on how high of the universe Winters, Stevie Winters, Stevie you throw it. itself” ¥449 Winters, Stevie Winters, Stevie Winters and Stevie Winters, of the Alpha Centauri/Haberfield Wormhole, regarding his new evil clone army. THE GARTER Picture of Dolores’ Cat UNIVERSITY* of The Week THE HOVER GARTER *Replicants sub Nexus-5 need not apply. wishes to honour the brave victims of 27 Courses on offer in 2012: October 2010 by declaring that • Meaning and Existence in Post- this today hence October 27th Poetry be known as • Skills! Skills! Skills! James Colley, Henry • Psi-Blast That Fox! Hawthorne, Ben • Doctorate in the Law of the Martian Jenkins, Joe Payten, Seas and Joe Smith-Davies • Performative Rhetoric in the Speeches Day The Right Honourable Prime Minister Ivan D. Mulchbeast Students’ Representative Council Presents ‘Honi Soit Opinion Competition 2010’

LAST CHANCE to get your entries in! Closes Tuesday 5th October!

THEME CENSORSHIP WIN $1000 “How open should society be?" Honi Soit & Annabel Crabb want to know YOUR opinion Are you a budding writer, pundit, commentator or looking for a good reason to have a bit of a rant about something? If you are super-passionate and enrolled at Sydney as an undergraduate in any discipline, then HONI SOIT wants Political Journalist, Commentator, to hear from you! Star of ABC TV What you need to do All Sydney Uni • Write an opinion piece on the theme of ‘Censorship’ Undergraduates are • Make sure it’s 800-1000 words and your own original work eligible to enter! • Submit it by 5pm (EST) Tuesday 5th October 2010 to [email protected] (Entries open 5pm 6 August 2010) • Include your full name, year, degree, faculty, student ID number, email and phone contact.

…and you’ll be in the running for a $1000 prize, generously donated by one of the University’s most supportive alumni!

So what could you write about? The door is open to ideas around the topic of ‘censorship’. Think: Internet censorship…Privacy laws…Confidentiality…Pornography…Film and classification…Google...Wikileaks…Literature… Hip-hop and rap…Media...Medical records... Bill Henson and art…and there must be many more!

www•src•usyd•edu•au All entries will be judged on their style, content, substance and writing skills by our fabulous 2010 Honi Soit editors. The final short list of 12 will be read and a final winner (and two runners-up) will be chosen by Australia’s favourite opinionista – Annabel Crabb, political journalist, commentator, star of ABC TV and author of ‘Rise Of The Ruddbot’ (Black Inc. Publishing). Finalists will be featured in Honi Soit or other SRC Publications.