poem: 1 name: anger date: september 15 2005 by: richard brenner anger anger is like a flame. it can easily be doused, but if unchecked it can consume everything in its path. anger is caused by pain. learn to let it go, to relax, or it will burn freely. anger is a powerful force. it can be used and it can use you only yourself can choose which will happen. anger is a dangerous force. it can break strong bonds, of any sort. anger is helpless without you. remember what your anger has done, it was you that did all that not your anger. anger is a formidable foe. it knows your every weakness, most know nothing of it�s. anger is only temporary. it won�t last forever, but your consequences will.

learn to control your own anger before it learns to control you. one cannot win this battle alone. but with others, the battle can be won. don�t be afraid to ask quickly control your anger before it gets to your loved ones and friends. anger is a temporary rage. it will pass in time but what you did because of it will not. remember that.

------poem: 2 name: rage date: september 15 2005 by: richard brenner rage man�s rage, it builds up, and the more it does, the harder it�s to stop. it keeps filling up, but will not cease. it fills so much, that reason can�t breath, it becomes hard to think clearly. only one thing on mind, the only thing you can see, is getting even with them, whatever it may be. you take a step back, the mind a frenzy, with all with failures, they committed against thee. your fist in the air, ready to strike, to return the that pain, that they have issued again and again. the fist leaves its place, its target locked on, between the eyes, right at the skull. moments before impact, your mind screams �wait!� too late.

contact was made. perfect was the hit, shoving their nose, clear into their skull. he looked at you dazed, then fell to the floor, where he shall lay ever more. you ran away fast, fast as the wind, dodging glances of strangers you passed. your life is scarred, no hope for you now, rage has claimed you, and though your victim is free, but you must live the penalty. to live a half-life, forever tainted by blood. to see what your rage unchecked has done, only to realize that it was you, yes, only you that made this horrible sin a reality.

------poem: 3 name: stutter date: september 15 2005 by: richard brenner stutter these words, these words come out, come out of nowhere, out of nowhere they appear, they appear so foolish, so foolish i sound, i sound like a retard, like a retard i keep going, i keep going needlessly, needlessly you insult me, you insult me about my problem, of my problem. is there any way out, is there any way out of this madness, of this madness with my speech, with my speech that i repeat, that i repeat without control, without control no matter what i do, no matter what i do it doesn�t end, it doesn�t end as far as i can see, as far as i can see you are losing interest, you are losing interest so i�ll shut up, i�ll shut up in a minute, in a minute i�ll leave, i�ll leave bye, bye.

------poem: 4 name: liar date: september 20 2005 by: richard brenner liar we all know them, you know who you are, they that say �i shall change the world,� but fails to change even their own clothes, some intend to do as they say, but in the end lose their way, others purposefully lie, to raise themselves and feel high, only to fall flat on their face, as when they tell untruths, and play with people�s lives, they break two valuable thing in life, one is called people�s respect, an important thing that is hard to regain, the other is called people�s trust, unlike respect, it is unrepairable, so be warned all, to who this applies, take heed, for you are playing with a force, that should not to be reckoned with, so be honest and commit to your goals, take this word of advice from a learn-ed man, whose trials he�s failed, and himself has been a liar. ------poem: 5 name: lost date: september 21 2005 by: richard brenner lost please help me, do you have a map? let me see, cause i need to find, a way out for me, because my life is in jeopardy, three days i wonder, what will i be, a man of luck, free of this catastrophe, or will i be a grease spot, on someone else�s machinery, my future uncertain, it�s a mystery, so i say again, please help me, is their any way to be free, or am i stuck here, for all eternity, now answer me, can i see that map, or must i fight it from ye, ah, the way out, please forgive thee, on with my life, i must be on, so i beg thy pardon, as i must leave, i felt i was lost, but that was not so, for as i was talking to you, you were guiding me, out of the catacombs of sorrow, and into the into the warm fields of life i see, i owe a great debt, a great debt to you, that i shall pay back fairly soon, thanks for the help, till we meet again, thank ye. ------poem: 6 name: alone date: september 27 2005 by: richard brenner alone i feel so alone, in an eternal shun, i�ve felt rejected before, but never like this, all ignores, none cares, alone in a sea of people, hatred grows toward them, why must i endure this pain, going day to day fighting thoughts, that says to end it all, when others live free of this condition, of this constant depression, they say there�s help, but it isn�t for me, my life is never going to take that fatal plunge, if the world hates me, so be it. i�ll stick it out, if for nothing else than to piss them off. but i know that there is someone out there, at least one person who will care, who overlook my tainted past, and will be with me, be a good friend, and i�ll no longer be alone. ------poem: 7 name: love date: october 04 2005 by: richard brenner love feel it flow, all around, from your crown, to the ground. feel it grow, as it flows, it will build, and surround, as you know, for this one, i would do and perform, many volumes untold. for this love, that i feel, i must do as she feels, to be her servant, to be her lover, to be her knight, but last but not least, to be her friend. as for this one girl, this lucky girl, i would be hers. ------poem: 8 name: the western front date: october 6-11 2005 by: richard brenner the western front they said it would be exhilarating, they said we'd be unstoppable, they said it would be �a walk in the park.� that we would be home, before christmas. little did we know that those were but guesses and lies. we never thought that we'd be stuck in trenches, where our bodies would be slowly rotting away, that our battles would have no victorious ending. they never said that i�d have to leave my friends. leave my friends for dead, or worse yet; to have to watch them painfully slip away, unable to do anything, aside from ending their misery, from the misery of the trench, the trench with the stench of death, that horrid stench, which came from this accursed mud, mud littered with shattered dreams and splattered blood, was as pungent as the smell of the gunpowder, that lofted through the morning air. we lived and died in this. this crack of death and disease; was but the start of our problems. only a few yards away, laid the opposition, eager to unite us with our fallen friends, we were ready to return the favor. with guns mounted all around, we readied our attack, occasionally, our opponent would launch large shells, though they were useless, as most did nothing more than punch into the earth. so we just prepared ourselves, we prepared for the invasion to come, for our unwelcome guests to arrive, to greet them with our rifles, and invite them to trip over our barbed wire, but just like bad memories, they kept on through. they kept trying and dying. and today we returned the favor. our blind and misguided generals, forced us out onto high ground, ordering, �over the top men!� we listened and obeyed. so we traversed the land where no-man belongs, and ran past our fallen comrades. a grim reminder of attacks failed and lives lost, just to be welcomed by our former guests. who graciously set up traps for us, and took many into an eternal rest. but, this wouldn�t be my fate. a hidden mine decided to take my leg from my body. so, here i lay waiting to depart, i�m ready to go. hoping that i�ve done what�s right. here, laying beside me, my friends, more fortunate than i, with many bullet holes, all placed evenly across their chests and heads, with the last bit of life�s essence pouring out. out onto the ground, to pool where they lay. mixed with friend and foe alike. they left with only moans, but i will join them soon, and leave all my worries behind me, in this muddy and bloody crater. do not forget me, nor what my friends and i did, don�t let a horrible war like this, ever happen again. to ever take the lives of those, whom we�ve fought and died for.

"lest you forget." ------poem: 9 name: evil, odd, insane date: october 16 2005 by: richard brenner evil, odd, insane it�s so boggling, how people�s minds are narrow, that if you don�t agree, then you are evil, odd, or insane. on that matter, what is evil, odd, or insane? if our mind�s views are different, then are you or i evil, odd, or insane? in that matter, are we both, or is neither evil, odd, or insane? and what if we are, why would we be evil, odd, or insane? for that matter, if is it truly so, is there any way around being evil, odd, or insane? the fact of that matter, is that all of us, no matter who you are, are a little bit evil, odd, or insane. so i say to �live and let live,� ignore the matter of others being evil, odd, or insane. for whatever the matter, none wants to be called, evil, odd, or insane. ------poem: 10 name: memo to my creator date: october 25 2005 by: richard brenner memo to my creator all these thoughts are confusing me, they won�t stop. they only get stronger. someone help me, i can�t keep this up. someone tell me how to live. what is the value of life, to see the morning sun, ready to begin it�s task, or the birds that sing it up each day. and let us not forget the morning commuters, they look like they know what to do, can they tell me how to live? i ask, they ignore, i inquire, they dismiss. as it appears, they don�t know how to live. there must be something, some meaning to this perfect balance, of noon sun, and flowers, that makes me refuse to leave. surely someone can tell me how to live. i went to a building with a cross on sunday, to find out if they knew, know enough to tell me how to live. i asked, they responded. they said if i want to know, listen to the signs that our creator sends, and to never give up. because in the end they say, only the creator can tell me how to live. so i write this mental note to you, creator of all things, whoever you may be, and request guidance, can you answer my question? can you tell me how to live? ------poem: 11 name: superman date: november 03 2005 by: richard brenner superman by: richard brenner you are not the man of steel or the man with the strength of many, hell, you�re not even able to stop speeding bullets, or stop careening trains with your hands, but to your kids, you are, the one and only, dad, the real superman. and though we try, and fail non-stop, we learn all we can from you, we must to build up our own super-arsenal, and take up your tools when you become weak and weary. that takes a real superman, to give up his life, to help others in need. it is now up to us, youth of the world, to continue a sacred cycle, of father and son. and to remove the cycle of hate, that consumes up all. the only this difficult goal can be achieved, is by father teaching son, son teaching friend, to respect one-another, and to forgive one-another. to bring on that brotherly love, that�s lost in rage and grudges. only then can true supermen emerge, maybe not strong supermen, but moreover real supermen, free of the tangle of negative feelings, that we must endure day to day. free to do as he does, and to say as he says, without the pain, of �going against the grain.� ------poem: 12 name: a little something to be grateful for. date: november 13 2005 by: richard brenner a little something to be grateful for. some say i am lame, but lame is not in my name, and my name not part of that game, the game that has no name, yet everybody has their fun, to run through the flames of youth, with no stop into the flow of fools, into the waterfall of despair, while few that are �smart,� stay at the cliff side, and watch other people take the ultimate ride. they look like they have fun, until we all hit the bottom, we will never realize that� we all think that we�re superior to ones we deem �inferior,� but the truth is that we are all inferior, but to the one who created us all exterior and interior, he gave us a chance to prove all our worth, we all screwed up long ago, but he has thankfully given us all a scapegoat, his son free of all our sin, suffered a death that none at all would call lax, just so we could all be with him, and be safe from the menace that lies within. ------poem: 13 name: this land date: november 19 2005 by: richard brenner this land i am disgusted at this hypocritical land. for a world that is supposed to be caring, and the people, who are supposed to be understanding, to just leave a girl, a girl who is innocent and hurting, in the pain, that the world gave her to start. i am disgusted at this world, that turned their back, on a woman who had a hard life, from one mistake to the next, falls into despair, unable to escape. i am disgusted at this place. the place where it all ended, where the final plea was made, unheard to all, except her loved ones, who she never knew, that the world kept quiet, till it was too late. the act was done, another victim claimed, i hope your happy, world, one day, your horrid fun, will return to haunt you. ------poem: 14 name: too late date: december 07 2005 by: richard brenner too late why did i ignore, when you were in danger? why didn�t i do anything, when you were aimed on? why didn�t i respond, when he murmured �die?� why did i wait, when he came to you? why did i watch, when pulled the trigger? why didn�t i react, when i heard the sound of the cap? why was i phased, when you hit the floor? why did i cry, when i saw you lay still? why didn�t he shoot me, when he shot who i lived for? why am i still here, when you are not around? ------poem: 15 name: too late date: december 09 2005 by: richard brenner jeopardy how long must we wait, for our stuff to get done, cus� every thought i think, goes down the drain. what�s wrong with me, this isn�t working out, i can�t feel for you, i have too many problems of my own, to feel sorry that you broke a nail. come to me when you really need help, and i, actually will help with the problem. don�t patronize me, by giving me condescending tasks, lest you miss me when i leave. i care for you, don�t get me wrong, but i am not your man servant. a friendship is a democracy, a friendship can�t be a monarchy, with one at the other�s thought. we are going to lose this thing if it keeps up, no matter what i do you seem to fuck it up. maybe it is my fault, if so please tell me, so we can avoid, this seeming unstoppable, fallout we are going to. i am sorry to yell, cuss, and lose my temper, but this is just frustrating me to no stop. i am going to go crazy unless something is done, let�s work together to end this problem, and put this searing wound heal, so we can get back to being friends, and call this all history. ------poem: 16 name: forgiveness date: december 15 2005 by: richard brenner forgiveness i long to see you again, to feel that warmth from before, i can�t get over this emptiness, the whole day seems wasted, because i can�t feel you anymore, i can�t get rid of this love for you i�ve always had, i can�t remove this feeling of being bad, for leaving you though you tried, to talk some sense into my stupid mind, and to guide me from the lies. however these efforts were in vain, and i left you for some unnamed wrong, now i ask you to forgive me, though you have every right to deny, i humbly come to your knees, please forgive me. ------poem: 17 name: isolated date: january 01 2006 by: richard brenner isolated this feeling won�t leave this utter blankness, let it end, let me see my friends, so it will leave, and i can return, back to my state of happiness again. i�d almost do anything to escape this, unending unforgiving feeling of isolation, free me from the grips of insanity, return me to my beginning, lest i fall off the end. remove this agony, take me from this place, this place of disappointment, this place of depression, this place of restrictment, and this place of isolation. save me from the insanity of this land, foreign to me, old and dying, let me come back, to my home paradise. back to my personal paradise, where my life may have hardships. but i also have friends to support me, and i them, instead of a family that lets down, deceives and condescends. this all may not be true, but i got ache, an ache in my heart, for this all to leave, for me to return, and resume my life. someone help me, for i am longing, to go home. ------poem: 18 name: knife date: january 02 2006 by: richard brenner knife

(note: this here is dedicated to anyone who has ever felt lonely, rejected, or hated. some words of confidence that one day you may need to hear. show this to anyone who is feeling like life is not worth living.) feeling down again huh? rejected again eh? i know, i�ve heard it all, �why bother?� or �don�t tell me, how to control �me�� you keep hearing, that it is bad, that it is wrong, that you shouldn�t. i tell you now, i was once suicidal, i understand, how you feel, about how those above, don�t even faze you. however for you my friend, i give you a reason: live for the person, who cared enough, to show this to you, for this person, the one who cares, would rather you live, and call you a friend, than to see you die, and call you dead. this is my message to you, the rhymes end here, live life out till the day you die, do not rush such a thing, it is your choice, but i must let you know, someone this minute cares, that may not just be it, but that friend can help you, so you don�t feel so rejected, and can thus leave the knife where it lay. ------poem: 19 name: but is it right? date: february 19 2006 by: richard brenner but is it right? this is my hand, this is my writing, this is my right, this is my plight, this is my fight, this is my live, but is this right? but is this right? is this right? or should it not be, my right? my plight? my life? what are they to me? what are they to me? are they to me? what they should be, should i be worried? or should i be eased? should i be worried or eased? should i be worried or eased? about those rights that belong to me, and are they my rights, or are they privileges, are they reserved for someone greater? or are they for me? are they for me? ------poem: 20 name: the expressions of nothingness date: february 19 2006 by: richard brenner the expressions of nothingness crazy i feel, about this calmness, unusual i feel, about this normal, odd it is, after the excitement, comes the rush, after the rush, comes a waterfall, after the waterfall, comes a bath, after the bath, come in here, talk some sense, into this thing, into this ball, into this head, and this guy, who thought hi, and got low, through this drape, drape of red, he saw something, he saw blue, then he jumped, he jumped through, then he swam, swam in green, then he moved, moved to brown, then got out, went back home, but he fell, through the ground, he kept on, picked up speed, but through this, he didn't scream. he hit water, broke his fall, and that is, all i recall. ------poem: 21 name: guitar date: february 20 2006 by: richard brenner guitar shred man, feed that beat, it�s the best there, feel it grow stronger nonstop, just when you expect it won�t end, it levels off right there, then guides you down, to your feet, hammer it man! ------poem: 22 name: smoldering date: march 09 2006 by: richard brenner smoldering spark. ignition. it lights, it�s begun, it grows, soon it will consume all, but for now it is quant and small, and is but a flame. now the flame develops, expanding rapidly, never stopping, now one room is aflame, a flame that will consume all, for now, however, it is but one room aflame. out the room crawls the flame, no longer quant, no longer a flame, but a fire it becomes, now consuming all, a flame has grown, and became a raging fire. the fire is now stripping, stripping all of their possessions, that it�s yellow fingers will touch, brighter, and stronger it grows, soon now, everyone will know, how you left a flame glow, and let a fire free to flow. now noise adds to this light, and this new scene is quiet the fright, the room that was once a living room, is now a smolder storage room, for little one�s bed room, just up above. collapsing noises, of hope fall�n apart, now replaced with fear, of life burn apart, of spouse and kids trapped, in once a living space, has become an eternal dying place, just because you left one flame, smoldering. ------poem: 23 name: departure date: march 13-19 2006 by: richard brenner departure today is the day you left, you left this place in a distress, and though you left in tardyness, you still left. tis the first day after, all is calm, all is quiet, elaryer, a little noise, of friend with fun in tail, and though we shared joy and food, the absence has it's problems, and i am beginning to miss. missed days i have, but the days before i miss, for wish i do now, for the days now, for you to return now, for the pain of absence to stop now, for now, however, i sit, waiting in sorrow, waiting for you, to reurn. ------poem: 24 name: left date: may 24 2006 by: richard brenner left left behind, tossed aside, purpose done, now a-hung, live spent, money went, what�s said is said, what�s done is done, and now it�s gone before the dawn over now, left here �lone feelings burn, they hide inside, for don�t you know, that if they know, it�ll just make it worse. this is the cry, of a person, who had no chance, and left in the open. this sounds cruel and indeed is, but it happens, almost every day. i tell you now, leave not yours, for they�ll fell pain, of a kind only less than hell, and with this i end, my hands tied, yet another victim, of a never ending crime. ------poem: 25 name: the beach date: june 15 2006 by: richard brenner the beach in the boats we hide heads down low, fearing our lives are nearing their close, avoiding the bullets that wiz in long rows, as me and my boys a-looked our woes. hearing the guns growing ever a-louder, as an ally looked into holes made by the latter, then the teeth of my friend began to a-clatter, as our safe gate fell and we all ran a-scattered. we ran on the sand as long as we could, no matter the strife we followed directives, although some fell (as we all thought we would), yet we succeeded and claimed the objectives. many since then would have died, so that one single flag would rise. ------poem: 26 name: the beach date: june 15 2006 by: richard brenner i'll be moving through the black, i'll be moving, through the white, i'll be moving. through the red, i'll be moving, through the blue, i'll be moving. through the blood, i'll be moving, through the pain, i'll be moving. through the trials i'll be moving, through the battles, i'll be moving. through the greed, i'll be moving, through the wrong, i'll be moving. through the danger, i'll be moving, through the disaster, i'll be moving. through the love, i'll be moving, through the hate, i'll be moving. i'll be moving for my god.