“You Can Be a People Person” Allan Pole on Saturday Evening, February 20Th, 2021

“You Can Be a People Person” Allan Pole on Saturday evening, February 20th, 2021

Theme: The key is to develop an appealing personality that causes others to respond to you.

Text: Philippians 2:3-11

Here’s a thought: Ralph Waldo Emerson observed, "The reason why anyone refuses his assent to your opinion, or his aid to your benevolent design, is in you. He refuses to accept you as a bringer of truth, because you have not given him the authentic sign."

I recommend to you the book “Be a People Person” by John C. Maxwell. I would like to share with you some things I learned from him, from the Bible, from the Holy Spirit and from my own relationships and observations.

The greatest leaders have it - that special quality which cause people to be drawn to their magnetic personalities. Extraordinary entertainers exude what we think is something extra, something beyond our grasp. We all have the potential to cultivate this quality that makes the difference between personality and personality plus. What quality would draw others to us? We can summarize it in one word: charisma.

Charisma can be a difficult subject to discuss because most people think it is a mystical, elusive, undefinable quality that you either have or don't have. Webster's dictionary defines "charisma" as: An extraordinary power in a person, group, cause etc. which takes hold of popular imagination and wins popular support.

The Bible describes charisma differently in the person of Jesus Christ. The Apostle Paul summarizes the best people person that has ever lived in Philippians 2:3-11: 3 Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. 4 Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others. 5 Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus: 6 Who, being in very nature God, did not consider equality with God something to be grasped, 7 but made himself nothing, taking the very nature of a servant, being made in human likeness. 8 And being found in appearance as a man, he

humbled himself and became obedient to death - even death on a cross! 9 Therefore God exalted him to the highest place and gave him the name that is above every name, 10 that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, in heaven and on earth and under the earth, 11 and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father. NIV

According to Philippians 2:3-11 a person with charisma is one who has: C - Charity (2:3a) H - Humility (2:3b) A - Altruism (2:4) R - Radiance (2:5) I - Identity (2:6) S - Servant's Heart (2:7) M - Mouldability (2:8) A - Approval (2:9-11)

C - Charity (2:3a - Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit)

Put simply, charismatic people are helpers. They are out to see others profit - they carry the gift of grace. In fact, the Greek word for gift is "charisma" (singular) or “charismata” (plural), meaning "gift or gifts of grace." God has freely bestowed upon us spiritual gifts because of His grace toward us.

In Romans 12:4-6 we are reminded: 4 Just as each of us has one body with many members, and these members do not all have the same function, 5 so in Christ we who are many form one body, and each member belongs to all the others. 6 We have different gifts, according to the grace given us. NIV

Note the context here is a description of the variety of gifts that are given for the sake of helping others. There is no charisma in seclusion. You can't walk into a room and have charisma by yourself!

People have problems. Many are like the beleaguered guy who, in desperation, went to a psychiatrist for help. He told the doctor, "Every time I get my act together, the curtain falls down." He needed more than mercy and concern; he needed help. You will find that if you are good at solving problems, people will

want to be around you.

What can you do to help people with their problems? First of all, encourage them to face their problems. Too often people would rather flee them, fight them, or forget them.

Second, encourage them to solve their problems. Use the following acrostic to teach yourself to help people with difficulties: T - Tell them it takes time. E - Expose yourself to their problems in order to relate to them. A - Assure them of your confidence in them. C - Creatively show them how to deal with their problems. H - Offer hope to them through the process.

A young lady boarded the bus after the lights had gone out. A tall man standing near her asked if he could help her find a strap to hold on to.

"Thank you," she replied, "but I have already found one."

With all the self-control he could muster he snapped, "Then I wonder if you would mind letting go of my necktie!"

"No man is an island unto himself." This is certainly true for followers of Jesus. Yes, we are called to love the Lord our God. Our call extends also to love our neighbour as ourselves. It is no coincidence that the Old English word for love is charity, for love is made evident by her deeds.

According to Philippians 2:3-11 a person with charisma is one who has: C - Charity (2:3a) H - Humility (2:3b - In humility consider others better than yourselves)

A proud person will look down on other people, feeling a sense of superiority. People will not follow or identify with a snobbish personality who is conscious of status and position.

We have some stereotypical images of charismatic people, but Jesus was not a flamboyant person. In Matthew 13:53-56 we read: 53 When Jesus had finished these parables, he moved on from there. 54 Coming to his hometown, he began teaching the people in their synagogue, and they were amazed. "Where did this man get this wisdom

and these miraculous powers?" they asked. 55 "Isn't this the carpenter's son? Isn't his mother's name Mary, and aren't his brothers James, Joseph, Simon and Judas? 56 Aren't all his sisters with us? Where then did this man get all these things?" NIV

Jesus did not try to prove Himself to people by flexing His spiritual muscles. His miracles were not done to impress or wow people. They were done out of a heartfelt concern for the needs of others. Even with the aura that surrounded Him and actually stunned some people, He was still a very common looking man of very humble means.

In a society that cries out for flashiness and glamour we are called by God to humility. This is not to say we are to be unnecessarily drab, uncreative or sloppy. It is to say that our motivation for anything we say or do should be to make Jesus famous, not ourselves.

According to Philippians 2:3-11 a person with charisma is one who has: C - Charity (2:3a) H - Humility (2:3b) A - Altruism (2:4 – look to the interests of others)

One who walks with God will inevitably become more considerate of the needs and interests of others. As we come to understand the heart of the Father, we will see the importance of reaching out to other people.

People with charisma show concern for people's deepest needs and interests. This doesn't mean charismatic people are mushy or patronizing, but when you are around them, you sense their interest and care and leave them feeling that you are valued and respected.

At any gathering you will find two types of people - those who arrive with an attitude of "Here I am!" and those who possess an attitude of "There you are!" It doesn't take long to notice that people flock to the "There you are!" people.

Be more concerned about making others feel good about themselves than you are in making them feel good about you. In other words, don't try to sell other people on you, try to sell them on who Christ can make them.

If you need to develop greater concern for others in your life, increase your exposure to hurting people. We see Jesus' sense of concern in Matthew 9:35-

38: 35 Jesus went through all the towns and villages, teaching in their synagogues, preaching the good news of the kingdom and healing every disease and sickness. 36 When he saw the crowds, he had compassion on them, because they were harassed and helpless, like sheep without a shepherd. 37 Then he said to his disciples, "The harvest is plentiful but the workers are few. 38 Ask the Lord of the harvest, therefore, to send out workers into his harvest field." NIV

Here's the sequence: Jesus went, saw, felt and cared. It's only when we go and expose ourselves to various situations that we will see enough to develop the concern necessary to move us to action. Only when we go and see will we feel and do.

According to Philippians 2:3-11 a person with charisma is one who has: C - Charity (2:3a) H - Humility (2:3b) A - Altruism (2:4) R - Radiance (2:5 – Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus)

An accurate gauge of our spiritual well-being is our attitude. Is our outlook Christ-like? Do we see others and the circumstances surrounding us as the Lord would see them?

Genuine faith in Jesus cannot be faked. Ralph Waldo Emerson wrote not only, "What you are speaks so loud I cannot hear what you say," but also, "The reason why anyone refuses his assent to your opinion, or his aid to your benevolent design, is in you. He refuses to accept you as a bringer of truth, because you have not given him the authentic sign." Yes, some people will reject Christ in you, but please don't let it be your misrepresentation of Christ that turns people away.

In John 14:8-10 we jump into a conversation with Jesus and His disciples: 8 Philip said, "Lord, show us the Father and that will be enough for us." 9 Jesus answered: "Don't you know me, Philip, even after I have been among you such a long time? Anyone who has seen me has seen the Father. How can you say, 'Show us the Father'? 10 Don't you believe that I am in the Father, and that the Father is in me? The words I say to you are not just my own. Rather, it is the Father, living in me, who is doing his work ..." NIV

Jesus has shown us what it is to be fully God and fully human. Philippians 2 explains that He decided to set aside the privileges of His deity to assume the limitations that come with being a man. As a man, He modelled for us what it is to commune with the Father and to be filled with the Holy Spirit. The by- product of this intimate relationship with the Father was a life that radiated the Father's attributes. Therefore, Jesus could announce, "If you have seen me you have seen the Father."

Similarly, our call as followers of Christ is to walk so closely with Him that His traits ooze through our pores every day. In each situation where we do not radiate His attitude, we dare not justify our independence, but repent and draw closer to Him.

According to Philippians 2:3-11 a person with charisma is one who has: C - Charity (2:3a) H - Humility (2:3b) A - Altruism (2:4) R - Radiance (2:5) I - Identity (2:6 – Who, being in very nature God, did not consider equality with God something to be grasped)

Jesus displays a good understanding of His identity in John 13:3-5: 3 Jesus knew that the Father had put all things under his power, and that he had come from God and was returning to God; 4 so he got up from the meal, took off his outer clothing, and wrapped a towel around his waist. 5 After that, he poured water into a basin and began to wash his disciples' feet, drying them with the towel that was wrapped around him. NIV

The Lord models for us the freedom that comes with a good understanding of who we are in relation to our Heavenly Father and fellow man. If we are secure in the Father's love and in the Father's plan then we will not have to climb the corporate ladder. We will not have to step on others to make ourselves feel better.

The Bible tells us we should not think higher or lower of ourselves than we ought to think. If we are tempted to think poorly of ourselves, we should meditate on the Scriptures that remind us that we are made in the image of God, that we are fearfully and wonderfully made. If we walk around with our

head in the clouds, somehow thinking that we are better than the next person, then we must dwell on those passages that point out our sin and shortcomings. We are sinners saved by God's power and unmerited favour.

James and John, along with their mother, asked Jesus to grant them seats of honour at His right and left. This request was just the tip of the iceberg, for the twelve disciples were continually arguing among themselves as to who was the greatest among them. Each seemed to be driven to outdo the others.

It is not wise to compare ourselves with others. There will always be someone better looking, stronger, more talented and more intelligent.

Our identity must come only in who God has made us in Jesus Christ. As we develop in understanding our identity we will walk in ever-increasing poise and confidence.

When you walk in a room do you size people up and compare yourself with them? Do you need to have people know how smart, talented or wealthy you are?

A wealthy woman was interviewing an applicant for a job on her household staff. "Do you know how to serve company?" she asked.

"Yes, ma'am, either way," replied the young girl.

"And what do you mean by `either way'?" asked the woman.

The girl explained, “Why, so they will come back or so they won't."

The passage we looked at in John 13:3-5 goes on to explain that Jesus did not simply enjoy His identity for His own sake. In the confidence that accompanied His identity He took on the humble task of washing each of the disciples' feet.

What was Jesus modelling for us in His willingness to serve? He was showing us that in the kingdom of heaven the way up is down. He told us and showed us that whoever wants to be the greatest among us must be the servant of all. We have woven into our sinful nature a warped perspective which believes that if we are going to be big in the kingdom we must be big shots. The Lord's promise still holds true today: acts of kindness done with the sole intent to bless God and to bless others will one day be rewarded.

I like the way the New King James Version translates Psalm 32:8-9: 8 I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will guide you with My eye. 9 Do not be like the horse or like the mule, which have no understanding, which must be harnessed with bit and bridle, else they will not come near you.

If you are determined to be a strong-willed child of God you are destined to travel down a rough road. Our Lord cannot be outsmarted or outmanoeuvred. Our disobedience will result in direct discipline or painful consequences.

Picture yourself as a child sitting around the dinner table with a house full of guests. A beautiful roast has been served, with each person enjoying a delicious serving. You would like seconds and you spot one more piece on the serving plate calling your name. As you lick your lips and prepare to plunge your fork into that last slice of meat your eyes catch the glare of your mother. Her face shouts at you, "Don't you dare take that last piece of roast beef!" You quietly rest your fork on your empty plate and smile at one of your guests across the table. This is being guided by the eye!

Charismatic people have the ability to be sensitive to changing situations. They are adept at reading the mood, feeling and spirit of any situation. Most people have the ability to feel something, but they aren't sure how to react to it

or express it. Charismatic people not only feel it, but they know how to react and express it.

Charismatic people devote themselves to a cause - that takes discernment and determination. If you are to become more sensitive, you must be willing to take a risk. Take the initiative to ask the Lord for direction, find a need and take action. People who are overly sensitive to the point that their feelings are always hurt will withdraw from others and never take a risk. The charismatic person will risk getting out of his or her comfort zone in order to make others feel comfortable.

Are you prepared to be moulded and shaped by the Holy Spirit? Do you need to have the last word in an argument? When was the last time you admitted you were wrong and asked for forgiveness?

We read about our Lord in His youth in Luke 2:52, “And Jesus grew in wisdom and stature, and in favour with God and men.” NIV

Jesus began His earthly ministry in a humble way, as a baby born in a manger. It took time for Him to establish credibility among people and His unbroken fellowship with the Father brought joy and pleasure. Sure, there were many who were turned off by Him, but millions over the centuries have embraced Him as their Lord and Saviour.

Jesus clearly has not entered in a popularity contest, but by virtue of who He is and what He does He wins the approval of many. The Word of God prophesies that one day every knee will bow and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is the King of kings and Lord of lords.

By virtue of the fact that we have Jesus living in us we too will enjoy the approval of God and some people. It is the attractiveness of the Holy Spirit in us that some will admire who we are and what we do. What will we do with this approval? I hope we will graciously and thankfully respond, then point them to the One who is worthy of all our praise!

A Japanese magazine has a picture of a butterfly on one of its pages. Its colour is a dull grey until warmed by one's hand. The touch of a hand causes the special inks in the printing to react, and the dull grey is transformed into a flashing rainbow of colour.

What other things can be thus transformed from dull grey by the warmth of your interest and love? Your family? Our church? Our city? This old world is hungry for the touch of someone who cares - who really cares! That someone can transform your home, your entire life. His name is Jesus!

Each one of us has certain abilities that will increase the charisma of our personality. You don't have to make a strained effort to become something that is not consistent with your basic nature. However, if your desire is to become a people person, then you need to develop an appealing personality that causes others to respond to you.

The key is to develop an appealing personality that causes others to respond to you.