PET LOSS 1 Utilizing Individual Psychology to Understand
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Running head: PET LOSS 1 Utilizing Individual Psychology to Understand Attachment and Pet Loss A Literature Review Presented to The Faculty of the Adler Graduate School _____________________ In Partial Fulfillment of the Requirement for The Degree of Master of Arts in Adlerian Counseling and Psychotherapy ______________________ By Jenelle L. Pangborn Chair: Rachelle J. Reinisch, DMFT Reader: Meg Whiston, PhD _____________________ September 2019 PET LOSS 2 Utilizing Individual Psychology to Understand Attachment and Pet Loss Copyright © 2019 Jenelle L. Pangborn All rights reserved PET LOSS 3 Abstract A large number of households in the United States have pets and consider their pets part of the family. Pets are a source of unconditional love, affection, and support. Many people are very attached to their pets, and when their pet dies, they experience intense grief. While grief over the loss of a pet is common, this grief often goes unrecognized, which can cause feelings of shame and anger and result in unresolved grief. Mental health professionals can help people cope with grief associated with pet loss by normalizing the grief, recognizing the important role pets hold within families, teaching coping skills, and utilizing Adlerian concepts such as social interest, encouragement, and the crucial Cs. Keywords: Pet loss, grief and loss, pet attachment, pets, disenfranchised grief, Individual Psychology, Adlerian PET LOSS 4 Acknowledgments I would like to acknowledge my friends and family for all their support through this journey. Thank you to everyone who was there to grieve with me after Horton died. My partner, Nathan Wiebold, thank you for being patient and understanding and encouraging me to keep going when I felt overwhelmed and needed help moving forward. I am grateful for my dad who believed I can do anything I put my mind to, and for my mom, who always pushed me to go for what I want and to take chances. Without both of you, I would not have the courage to be imperfect. I want to thank Meg Whiston for being my reader. A special thank you to my chairperson, Dr. Rachelle Reinisch. She encouraged me through this whole writing process, and she was always there to calm my anxieties about this Master’s Project. Without her understanding and caring attitude when Horton died, I don’t know if I would have had the courage I needed to choose this topic for my project. PET LOSS 5 Dedication I dedicate this paper to my dog, Horton; he was best friend and my baby. Horton died October 19, 2018, a month before his 12th birthday. My dad taught me at a young age that a dog can “choose” you. I didn’t know what that meant until I met Horton. I went to a pet store not planning to adopt a dog; I just wanted to play with some cute puppies. Horton “chose” me that day, and after that connection, I had to have him. Before I left the store, I had named him and was trying to figure out how I could adopt a pug as a poor undergrad college student who lived in a rental that didn’t allow pets. With the help of my sister and my mom I managed to adopt Horton. Horton was a happy, loyal, smart, and stubborn pug. He was trained, but only did things on command if he thought it benefited him in some way. Thankfully, he was very food motivated. Horton loved attention of any kind; he would wag his tail at the sound of my laugh and loved everyone, but he always chose me over anyone else. He was silly and loved to wear costumes and clothes because of the attention it got him. When I was gone for more than a day, he would race around the room at his top speed to celebrate, but then, he would pout and refuse to sit with me for the next half hour to show he was mad at me for leaving him. Horton always knew when I was upset and would immediately come to me and wouldn’t leave my side until I was feeling better. Horton loved life and was always happy to do whatever as long as he was with his people and had someone to snuggle or play with. I could go on forever about all the ways he was special and how he impacted my life in so many ways. I know I will always miss him, and I was lucky to have many people in my life who mourned Horton with me. PET LOSS 6 Table of Contents Attachment Theory ......................................................................................................................... 9 Anxious ..................................................................................................................................... 10 Avoidant .................................................................................................................................... 11 Secure ........................................................................................................................................ 12 Pet Ownership, Families, and Attachment .................................................................................... 13 Physical Benefits of Family Pets .............................................................................................. 14 Psychological Benefits of Family Pets ..................................................................................... 14 Social Benefits of Family Pets .................................................................................................. 16 Pet Loss ......................................................................................................................................... 17 Grief and Loss ........................................................................................................................... 19 Denial. ................................................................................................................................... 20 Anger..................................................................................................................................... 20 Bargaining. ............................................................................................................................ 21 Depression............................................................................................................................. 22 Acceptance. ........................................................................................................................... 22 Attachment and Loss................................................................................................................. 23 Anxious attachment and loss. ............................................................................................... 24 Avoidant attachment and loss. .............................................................................................. 24 Disenfranchised Grief ............................................................................................................... 25 Coping with Loss ...................................................................................................................... 27 Children................................................................................................................................. 29 Adolescents and adults. ......................................................................................................... 30 Individual Psychology .................................................................................................................. 31 Social Interest............................................................................................................................ 32 Encouragement ......................................................................................................................... 32 Goals of Misbehavior ................................................................................................................ 33 Undue attention. .................................................................................................................... 33 Power. ................................................................................................................................... 34 Revenge................................................................................................................................. 34 Inadequacy. ........................................................................................................................... 34 Crucial Cs.................................................................................................................................. 35 Connection. ........................................................................................................................... 35 PET LOSS 7 Capable. ................................................................................................................................ 35 Count. .................................................................................................................................... 36 Courage. ................................................................................................................................ 36 Discussion ..................................................................................................................................... 36 Implications for Practice ........................................................................................................... 38 Recommendations for Future Research .................................................................................... 47 Conclusion ...................................................................................................................................