January 2014 | refreshedmag.com
from the publishers of the Christian Examiner Real life. Real community. Waiting for Maggie Couple overcomes infertility through adoption
Balancing faith, families, music and the love of surfi ng Disney’s animator of heroines
MARK LARSON THE CHISOMO IDEA DAVID JEREMIAH Saying ‘hello’ has Building communities Security system: become a lost art in Malawi A hope that endures
San Diego’s inspirational lifestyle magazine 2 REFRESHED | January 2014 Welcome to the contents premiere issue of Refreshed, San Diego’s only inspirational FEATURES lifestyle magazine. 5 Waiting for Maggie Couple overcomes infertility through adoption San Diego County is home to scores of periodicals serving a wide 7 Open adoption seeks to honor birth mom, variety of niche markets. While these adoptive families local magazines offer an extensive 16 Just for kicks range of interests, none serves the 17 Community news community with an editorial philoso- phy that embraces a contemporary 18 Disney’s animator of heroines lifestyle within a framework of faith. Mark Henn talks about creating Disney’s leading ladies, We’ve decided to change that by his Christian faith, and his work on Frozen taking our 25 years experience in 5 publishing the Christian Examiner 20 Switchfoot: Fading West newspaper and making a rather radi- Balancing faith, families, music and a love of surfi ng cal change in order to produce a full 23 Downey-Burnett duo expand faith-based stories on TV, fi lm color magazine that focuses on bring- 23 Joni Eareckson Tada sings movie score ing our readers hope, encouragement, inspiration, and practical solutions to 24 The Chisomo Idea the complexities of life. San Diegans take Jesus to Malawi’s poor, fi nd He’s already there To that end, we aim to offer in- 35 San Diego Christian College moves to new Santee campus formative and thought-provoking columns, inspirational articles, hu- man interest stories, and intriguing accounts about life in the local com- munity, as well as occasional features on nationally-known personalities. If you have been a reader of the Christian Examiner newspaper, we in- vite you to become a regular reader of this new publication and to share cop- ies with your friends and neighbors.
Your feedback desired Tell us what you think. Visit www. refreshedmag.com/survey.html and complete the reader survey. Your 18 feedback on this fi rst issue will help us as we plan future issues. COLUMNS
Your stories wanted 8 Dean Nelson | In Plain Sight Do you know someone who has endured deeply challenging life situ- 10 Jon Huckins | Viewpoint ations and, through faith, has perse- 12 Phil Cooke | Perspective vered through their hardship? Tell us 14 Mark Larson | On the Mark 10 about it by sending an email to info@ 30 Al Menconi | Al’s Analysis 36 refreshedmag.com. 31 Michael Foust | Purposeful Parenting Thank you for embarking on this 32 Janice Thompson | On the Money new journey with us. 33 David & Lisa Frisbie | Marriage Matters Lamar & Theresa Keener 34 Kimberly Ruby | Here’s to Good Health Publishers 36 David Jeremiah | Inspired Living 38 Joanne Brokaw | That’s Life! 38
January 2014 | REFRESHED 3 EMPLOYMENT OPPORTUNITY - COUPLES NEEDED Download a digital version of Refreshed magazine for Do you have a heart for abused children? These children need you! convenient viewing on your Our Christian ministry is hiring couples who will work together serving favorite digital device. children who have suffered from abuse and neglect. Training provided. $49,000.00/yr. per couple. Rent, utilities, and meals are refreshedmag.com paid for. These live-in positions also provide medical/dental benefits, paid holidays, and paid vacation. A couple will be allowed to have their own child (a maximum of 1) living with them in the ministry. Call (951) 302-2317, ext. 213 / iÃÃ>>Ê>ÞÊ-iÀÛViÃÊUÊÜÜÜ°{`ÃwÀÃÌ°À} Thessalonika Family Services is an Equal Opportunity Employer
VOLUME 1 | NUMBER 1 PUBLISHERS Lamar & Theresa Keener EDITOR Lori Arnold PROOFREADER Lis Trouten AD SALES Cynthia Quam-Patterson CONTRIBUTORS Joanne Brokaw, Phil Cooke, Michael Foust, David & Lisa Frisbie, Jon Huckins, David Jeremiah, Mark Larson, Al Menconi, Dean Nelson, Kim Ruby, Janice Thompson ADVISORY BOARD Mark Rasche, Nelson Keener, Carl Schreiber, Brandon Ruby Copyright © 2014 Selah Media Group Refreshed is an in de pen dent, faith-based magazine published monthly by Selah Media Group. It is distributed in bulk, free of charge, to hundreds of locations throughout San Diego County. For a 1-year mail subscription, send $24.95 to the address below or visit refreshedmag.com. Refreshed welcomes story ideas. All unsolicited material is subject to the approval of the publishers and is not returned. Viewpoints expressed in Refreshed are those of their respective writers, and are not necessarily held by the publishers. Reasonable effort is made to screen advertisers, but no endorsement of the publishers is implied or should be inferred. The publishers can accept no responsibility for the products or services offered through ad ver tise ments. The publisher reserves the right to refuse any ad ver tis ing. ADDRESS ALL CORRESPONDENCE TO: P. O. Box 2606, El Cajon, CA 92021 E-MAIL [email protected] PHONE/FAX (619) 567-7811 AD SALES (619) 609-0921
4 REFRESHED | January 2014 Waiting for Maggie
Couple overcomes infertility through adoption by LORI ARNOLD
he phone rang and Rebekah Kennedy braced herself foroor thetheh message on the other end. Three years of near-monthlynthly Tturbulence, ongoing processing sessions with a therapist, anandnd spiritual wrangling with her Creator led her to this moment. With the receiver expectantly to her ear, Rebekah heard the all-l-- too-familiar refrain: Motherhood eluded—again. “I felt that hope had died,” Rebekah said of their failed in vitroo fertilization treatment. Her next comment, though, prompted an audio double-take. “That was a good thing!” she said. “I felt crushed and de- feated. I just wanted to give up. The good thing was, though, that I was able to express my feelings and pour them out to God. I didn’t feel like I had to hide them. I truly believe that God met me then; when I was brutally honest and held up my hands in surrender.” For Rebekah and her husband, Shawn, the three-year jour- ney through infertility stretched them as never before. “For a while I lost sight of God’s goodness and I felt utterly defeated,” she said. As the couple tried desperately to make sense of their inabil-- ity to conceive, they spent time with a Christian therapist, readad books—and the Bible—together, and prayed. “It took me a little while, but I regained sight of God’s goodnessness aandndnd held tight to that,” she said. “My hope is in Christ’s ultimate goodnessoddnessss andandd plan. It is my hope to bring Him glory in all circumstances.” One of the things Rebekah learned to do was approach Godd openlyopepenly aboutabbouout her pain. “I felt very little emotion or anger towards God, but was simplymplyl oovercomeveercr omo e
RUDYANTOJanuary 2014 WIJAYA | | REFRESHEDTHINKSTOCK IMAGES5 with sadness,” she said, adding that their counselor helped them to understand that their God was big enough to handle anger. “I decided that that summer I would focus on feeling and expressing my emotions toward God and the whole situation,” Rebekah said, adding that the Psalms became a constant companion. “It was hard, because my tendency is to push those feelings down until they blow up in my face. It was very helpful to ex- plore them.” Shawn, community pastor at Exis- tence Church, was sorting out his own emotions, learning how to balance the very public profi le of being a pastor with the intensely personal need for self-pro- tection. “It certainly is a challenge discerning when to share and when to hold back,” he said. “Overall, I think we did pretty good. As for coping with personal pain, I have a series of very close friends inside and out- side the church who I go to for support.” During the process, Shawn said he clung to Romans 8:28, even as he used “I don’t think we would have come to physically and emotionally, to bring his own pain to minister to others. adoption with an open heart if not for home their fi rst child. “Mind ninjas work their magic when going through the grieving process well,” “Some people aren’t comfortable pre- you least expect it,” he said, adding, Rebekah said. “Of course, grieving isn’t a paring or celebrating before an adopted “Without my faith it would have been one-time event. We will grieve in differ- child arrives because of the fear of a failed hard to see the good that God was work- ing in my disappointment.” ent ways for the rest of our life; but the adoption,” she said. “Shawn and I talked His wife agreed. majority of the sadness has passed.” about that. It is a real possibility. In fact, “We really feel that God is in the busi- Having worked through much of the we know several families that experienced ness of redemption and that our story grief, the Kennedys eagerly pursued the that heartache. We decided, though, that would turn out better than we could have future. infertility had already robbed us of so expected, even if it wasn’t how we pic- “A few months before we put in our much joy we were going to march forward tured it,” Rebekah said. “We just had to application, both Shawn and I felt that and embrace the excitement.” trust him to write our story. the Lord had guided us to open adoption In April, just weeks after fi ling their and would use it to bring redemption in application, they were matched with a Looking to adoption our lives, our child’s life, and her birth birth mother and attended an ultrasound That openness to God led the Kenne- mom’s life,” Rebekah said. “We were ner- appointment. Their daughter Maggie dys to open adoption, a process in which vous but excited by the opportunity.” was born in July. the birth mom remains a part of the ba- Nearly a year ago, the Kennedys fi led “We are so grateful to have been there by’s new family long after legal proceed- an application with the Adoption Center when she was born,” her adoptive mother ings are fi nalized. of San Diego. Together they prepared, said. “We took her home two days later.”
6 REFRESHED | January 2014 Open adoption seeks to honor birth mom, adoptive families Sarah Jensen has never forgotten the community.” her young classmate, who was adopted Practically, that can include con- at 9 months. necting them with a crisis pregnancy “She didn’t know where she was center, referring them to doctors or before that age,” Jensen said. “She had safe housing, and providing one-on- a small scar on her leg and she didn’t one clinical counseling to birth par- know how she got it. I dunno … even ents and their families. when I was young, it just didn’t seem The center also provides resources From crisis to joy right to me.” to parents seeking to adopt. Sarah Jensen, who has served as di- Years later, she “Most of our families have experi- rector of the Adoption Center of San Di- still doesn’t know enced years of pain and loss in trying ego since 1993, sees similar redemptive the source of her to become parents,” she said. “We also stories unfold every year. fascination. have support groups for waiting fami- “There is joy in adoption,” said Jen- “It’s funny. I lies. I’m accountable to them, plus, sen. “Everyone that we work with is in had no connec- they meet the other couples and share crisis, adopting parents and birth par- tion to adoption their fears and joy of adoption. Many ents. Yet through faith, courage and love but I recall every couples are discouraged and worry they walk an unknown path called open adopted kid I ever Sarah Jensen that it could take years to adopt.” adoption and everyone is blessed—espe- knew,” she said. Jensen said she is a fan of open cially the child.” It’s not surprising then that Jensen adoption because it eliminates much Even after 20-plus years in the fi eld, has been involved in adoption work for of the stigma and pain for birth par- Jensen said she is still amazed at the re- more than 20 years, most of that time ents and their children. silience of birth mothers. as director of the Adoption Center of “These women make the most loving “Open adoption is a loving choice,” San Diego, a secular nonprofi t that sacrifi ce I can imagine and they should she said. “These brave young women provides counseling, education and be honored,” she said. “Yet most birth love their babies. They choose life and open adoption facilitation. mothers I know are met with scorn. How then they choose the kind of life they “We do adoptions differently at the could she ‘give up’ her baby?” want for their precious baby. Our fami- Adoption Center,” the director said. The sacrifi ce is not lost on the Kenne- lies embrace the idea of developing on- “Adoption is an internet business these dys, who just spent their fi rst Christmas going, lifelong relationships with the days. But for me, adoption is intimate. as parents and remain in contact with birth family. These babies always know So I work with prospective couples and Maggie’s birth mom. the truth. They were loved by their birth birth parents that are in our community.” “I don’t think I, or we, would have family, and the adopting family. Much of Jensen’s work involves had such a successful adoption experi- “No secrets, no shame,” she said. helping women in crisis pregnancies. ence if I hadn’t been able to surrender “These children know they are loved “They’re afraid and confused,” she my feelings and experience to the Lord,” by their birth parents.” said. “We are able to answer their Rebekah said. questions, meet with them personally For more information, visit www. Paying it forward and help them by offering resources in sdadopt.org. With their grief and uncertainty now tempered by giggles and coos, the Ken- nedys are fi nally in a place where their redemption story offers tangible truth to The Law Office of others. William A. Hannosh “It was my hope that in sharing our joy the congregation could see how God FAMILY LAW was taking the broken pieces of our life ELDER ABUSE LITIGATION and making a beautiful picture,” Shawn CIVIL LITIGATION said. “He could do it for them, too! “Adoption has defi nitely made me Proudly serving San Diego’s Christian community more sensitive to people who are experi- (Legal services also offered in Spanish and Arabic) encing grief in various ways. I can enter 343 E. Main Street, Suite 202, El Cajon into their experience and provide real encouragement, now that I have tasted 619-244-9835 | hannoshlaw.net it myself.” ■
January 2014 | REFRESHED 7 in plain sight
DEAN NELSON
Serving with simple tools
There is never a convenient time for He and I nodded to each other as he of Red Bull, the energy drink. a washing machine to stop working, but walked past, and then he disappeared on “You won’t sleep for a week if you this time was particularly inconvenient. the other side of the vending machine. drink that without any food,” I said. I needed some particular clothes for the Several minutes went by, and he didn’t He went back through the store and next day, so my wife and I did what we come back out. came out with a can of soup. used to do when we were in college or “Go see what he’s doing,” my wife As we headed to my car to get a were newly married: We went to the lo- suggested. sweatshirt for him, I asked if he needed cal Laundromat. “You go see what he’s doing,” I said. I anything else. The closest one to our house is in a didn’t really want to know. “What I could use are some socks,” neighborhood shopping area. We went After a couple of moments of stand- he said. I had just washed about 10 pair. there on a Saturday night, and by the off, I went to see what he was doing. So I gave him a sweatshirt and a time we were pulling the last loads out On the other side of the dryers, we were the only people of the vending ma- in the entire place. About 15 minutes chine was a lost and I just gave him what I had at the time. before closing time we saw what I pre- found table piled pair of socks. I didn’t go all Blind Side sumed to be a homeless man walk in. with clothing people had left in the dry- on him and bring him into my home ers. The man was trying on jackets. and have him sleep on my couch and We nodded at each other again, and I teach him how to play football and went back to folding my stuff. have a movie made about our rela- “He’s fi ne,” I said to my wife. tionship. I just gave him what I had at Cal Thomas A few minutes later the man walked the time. out, wearing a jacket that was clearly When Moses told God that there was too small for him. no way he could be God’s messenger to As we loaded stuff into our car, I the Pharaoh, God asked Moses, “What UÊ £Ê >Ì>ÞÊ noticed how cold it was. Yes, weather do you have in your hand?” Moses had a -Þ`V>Ìi`Ê in San Diego is largely perfect, but that shepherd’s staff. That was all God need- ÕÃÌ night, about this time of year, it was ed. That, and a willing servant. around 40 degrees. That’s really cold if UÊ ÝÊ iÜÃÊ When Jesus told the disciples to you’re sleeping outside. >ÞÃÌ feed the 5,000, they said there wasn’t “We should fi nd that guy and see if enough to go around. Jesus asked the he has warm enough clothes,” my wife UÊ *ÀviÊ disciples essentially the same thing said. This time I didn’t hesitate. I found `ÛV>Ìi that God asked Moses: What do you him leaning against the back of the have? It turned out to be more than adjacent grocery store, overlooking a enough. canyon. /ÊÃV i`ÕiÊ >Ê/ >ÃÊ That night at the Laundromat I had a “I saw you in the laundry place, and vÀÊÞÕÀÊiÝÌÊëiV>ÊiÛiÌ]Ê sweatshirt, some socks and a Vons card. I’m wondering if you’d like warmer VÌ>VÌÊ >ÀÊ>Àð What do you have in your hand? clothes,” I said. (619) 881-2851 “I’m fi ne,” he said. >ÀJ>À>ÀðV “Seriously—I have a sweatshirt that I Dean Nelson is the just washed that would be warmer than founder and director of that jacket. And since we’re right here the journalism program at a grocery store, could I get you some- at Point Loma Nazarene thing to eat?” University. His most Eventually he came into the store recent book is “God Hides www.SpeakersGroup.net with us. I told him to get whatever he in Plain Sight: How to wanted. He settled on a large container See the Sacred in a Chaotic World.”
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January 2014 | REFRESHED 9 viewpoint
JON HUCKINS
Women, childbirth and what it means to be fully human again
My wife, Jan, was eight days past her birthing event. A women is able to grow still very much with us. We just need to due date when the fi rst signs of labor a baby inside of her body—with a TINY have the eyes to see it. fi nally kicked in about 5 a.m. Being bit of help from a man—have a full One of our dear friends and neigh- past your due date is no fun (keep in grown baby come out of her body and bors is a couple weeks out from her mind, I’m a dude talking here, so I re- then offer it all the resources it needs… due date. After losing her fi rst baby a ally have no idea how hard it really is) with her body. few months into her pregnancy, these as you start to wonder, one, if this little There is something sacred to this moments leading up to arrival seem creature will actually EVER arrive and, and I don’t think it gets celebrated or a little extra sacred. Having lost our two, if your labor will have to be initi- near the attention it ated by powers outside of your control, should. namely lots of drugs and stuff. After When God created our fi rst baby, Ruby, decided to make humanity, we were I got a glimpse into a rightly ordered her triumphal entry on the very LAST made in God’s image. creation. I saw—quite tangibly—the day before we would had to make some The very nature of hard choices about the road forward, God was inscribed on way God created us to function… we were praying baby No. 2 would come us as God had serious along a bit sooner. plans for the role hu- As the contractions strengthened, mans would play in the Creation Story. fi rst baby at fi ve months along, Janny we celebrated that this was the real There was no sin. No fallenness. No understands the mental, emotional and deal and Janny locked into this sacred, vision for us to become subservient to spiritual weight of carrying a baby to super-human state of focus and deter- the constructs that would be assembled term after such a tragedy. mination like I’ve never encountered. around us. In fact, to be fully human As such, Janny transformed our Strong. was to be quite divine. upstairs bedroom into a little haven of Steady. Of course, we know there was a blessing, encouragement and renewal. Quiet. break in the Story. Selfi shness, infi del- With candles lit and soft music stream- At peace. ity and violence started to corrupt what ing quietly through the space, she in- It was surreal. Of course, I was a was originally created to be in perfect vited this woman over for a facial. Hav- ball of anxiety, fear and anticipation union with God. ing gotten her friend settled into this wrapped in the cloak of a “secure sup- While our faith tradition affi rms the space, Janny started to reveal a series of port partner.” About 80 percent of her reality of sin, it also affi rms the reality surprises that turned an ordinary facial laboring happened at home when we fi - of God’s image and design being cen- into an experience with the divine. nally got in the car to head to the birth- tral to who we are as humans. After the One of our other friends came in ing center. Trying not to hit the breaks, Reformation (think John Calvin, Martin the room with her harp and began to speed without getting a ticket and keep Luther and a lot of angry church folk), play next to the bed. Then, one-by-one, my mouth shut, we pulled in and got all this portion of our tradition didn’t get women from our faith community came settled in for the grand arrival. as much press, but it is just as true as into the room and offered blessings Again, surreal. ever. over mom and baby. Instead of leaving Confi dently instructing a hand- after their blessing, most stayed and ful of us on how to support her, Janny A sacred space began massaging her feet and arms and was stoic. Not long after we got to the That brings me back to what I saw belly. birthing center, our little Rosie arrived and experienced in that birthing center. Tears were shed, burdens were car- in my arms—quite literally!—and we I got a glimpse into a rightly ordered ried together and the hope of new life snuggled as a family of four for the fi rst creation. I saw—quite tangibly—the became palpable. time. way God created us to function … and it As I began to process what had just was remarkable. It was worship. It was Sacrifi cial love unfolded in front of my eyes, I was a reminder that the God who created us I often talk about the idea of a thin struck by the sacredness of the whole hasn’t given up on us. No, in fact, he is place; a physical space where heaven
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…rightly ordered '/,$ s WWWGOLDTRUSTSTORECOM humanity isn’t about %THAN !LLEN 3HOPPING #ENTER s #LAIREMONT -ESA "OULEVARD s 3AN $IEGO #! who holds the most power, but who is most The willing to give it away tree of knowledge for the sake of another. begins with and earth seem to collide, a place literacy where God’s kingdom is made real. In this instance, it was a place where ,ITERACY &IRST