January 2014 | refreshedmag.com
from the publishers of the Christian Examiner Real life. Real community. Waiting for Maggie Couple overcomes infertility through adoption
Balancing faith, families, music and the love of surfi ng Disney’s animator of heroines
MARK LARSON THE CHISOMO IDEA DAVID JEREMIAH Saying ‘hello’ has Building communities Security system: become a lost art in Malawi A hope that endures
San Diego’s inspirational lifestyle magazine 2 REFRESHED | January 2014 Welcome to the contents premiere issue of Refreshed, San Diego’s only inspirational FEATURES lifestyle magazine. 5 Waiting for Maggie Couple overcomes infertility through adoption San Diego County is home to scores of periodicals serving a wide 7 Open adoption seeks to honor birth mom, variety of niche markets. While these adoptive families local magazines offer an extensive 16 Just for kicks range of interests, none serves the 17 Community news community with an editorial philoso- phy that embraces a contemporary 18 Disney’s animator of heroines lifestyle within a framework of faith. Mark Henn talks about creating Disney’s leading ladies, We’ve decided to change that by his Christian faith, and his work on Frozen taking our 25 years experience in 5 publishing the Christian Examiner 20 Switchfoot: Fading West newspaper and making a rather radi- Balancing faith, families, music and a love of surfi ng cal change in order to produce a full 23 Downey-Burnett duo expand faith-based stories on TV, fi lm color magazine that focuses on bring- 23 Joni Eareckson Tada sings movie score ing our readers hope, encouragement, inspiration, and practical solutions to 24 The Chisomo Idea the complexities of life. San Diegans take Jesus to Malawi’s poor, fi nd He’s already there To that end, we aim to offer in- 35 San Diego Christian College moves to new Santee campus formative and thought-provoking columns, inspirational articles, hu- man interest stories, and intriguing accounts about life in the local com- munity, as well as occasional features on nationally-known personalities. If you have been a reader of the Christian Examiner newspaper, we in- vite you to become a regular reader of this new publication and to share cop- ies with your friends and neighbors.
Your feedback desired Tell us what you think. Visit www. refreshedmag.com/survey.html and complete the reader survey. Your 18 feedback on this fi rst issue will help us as we plan future issues. COLUMNS
Your stories wanted 8 Dean Nelson | In Plain Sight Do you know someone who has endured deeply challenging life situ- 10 Jon Huckins | Viewpoint ations and, through faith, has perse- 12 Phil Cooke | Perspective vered through their hardship? Tell us 14 Mark Larson | On the Mark 10 about it by sending an email to info@ 30 Al Menconi | Al’s Analysis 36 refreshedmag.com. 31 Michael Foust | Purposeful Parenting Thank you for embarking on this 32 Janice Thompson | On the Money new journey with us. 33 David & Lisa Frisbie | Marriage Matters Lamar & Theresa Keener 34 Kimberly Ruby | Here’s to Good Health Publishers 36 David Jeremiah | Inspired Living 38 Joanne Brokaw | That’s Life! 38
January 2014 | REFRESHED 3 EMPLOYMENT OPPORTUNITY - COUPLES NEEDED Download a digital version of Refreshed magazine for Do you have a heart for abused children? These children need you! convenient viewing on your Our Christian ministry is hiring couples who will work together serving favorite digital device. children who have suffered from abuse and neglect. Training provided. $49,000.00/yr. per couple. Rent, utilities, and meals are refreshedmag.com paid for. These live-in positions also provide medical/dental benefits, paid holidays, and paid vacation. A couple will be allowed to have their own child (a maximum of 1) living with them in the ministry. Call (951) 302-2317, ext. 213 / iÃÃ>>Ê>ÞÊ-iÀÛViÃÊUÊÜÜÜ°{`ÃwÀÃÌ°À} Thessalonika Family Services is an Equal Opportunity Employer
VOLUME 1 | NUMBER 1 PUBLISHERS Lamar & Theresa Keener EDITOR Lori Arnold PROOFREADER Lis Trouten AD SALES Cynthia Quam-Patterson CONTRIBUTORS Joanne Brokaw, Phil Cooke, Michael Foust, David & Lisa Frisbie, Jon Huckins, David Jeremiah, Mark Larson, Al Menconi, Dean Nelson, Kim Ruby, Janice Thompson ADVISORY BOARD Mark Rasche, Nelson Keener, Carl Schreiber, Brandon Ruby Copyright © 2014 Selah Media Group Refreshed is an in de pen dent, faith-based magazine published monthly by Selah Media Group. It is distributed in bulk, free of charge, to hundreds of locations throughout San Diego County. For a 1-year mail subscription, send $24.95 to the address below or visit refreshedmag.com. Refreshed welcomes story ideas. All unsolicited material is subject to the approval of the publishers and is not returned. Viewpoints expressed in Refreshed are those of their respective writers, and are not necessarily held by the publishers. Reasonable effort is made to screen advertisers, but no endorsement of the publishers is implied or should be inferred. The publishers can accept no responsibility for the products or services offered through ad ver tise ments. The publisher reserves the right to refuse any ad ver tis ing. ADDRESS ALL CORRESPONDENCE TO: P. O. Box 2606, El Cajon, CA 92021 E-MAIL [email protected] PHONE/FAX (619) 567-7811 AD SALES (619) 609-0921
4 REFRESHED | January 2014 Waiting for Maggie
Couple overcomes infertility through adoption by LORI ARNOLD
he phone rang and Rebekah Kennedy braced herself foroor thetheh message on the other end. Three years of near-monthlynthly Tturbulence, ongoing processing sessions with a therapist, anandnd spiritual wrangling with her Creator led her to this moment. With the receiver expectantly to her ear, Rebekah heard the all-l-- too-familiar refrain: Motherhood eluded—again. “I felt that hope had died,” Rebekah said of their failed in vitroo fertilization treatment. Her next comment, though, prompted an audio double-take. “That was a good thing!” she said. “I felt crushed and de- feated. I just wanted to give up. The good thing was, though, that I was able to express my feelings and pour them out to God. I didn’t feel like I had to hide them. I truly believe that God met me then; when I was brutally honest and held up my hands in surrender.” For Rebekah and her husband, Shawn, the three-year jour- ney through infertility stretched them as never before. “For a while I lost sight of God’s goodness and I felt utterly defeated,” she said. As the couple tried desperately to make sense of their inabil-- ity to conceive, they spent time with a Christian therapist, readad books—and the Bible—together, and prayed. “It took me a little while, but I regained sight of God’s goodnessness aandndnd held tight to that,” she said. “My hope is in Christ’s ultimate goodnessoddnessss andandd plan. It is my hope to bring Him glory in all circumstances.” One of the things Rebekah learned to do was approach Godd openlyopepenly aboutabbouout her pain. “I felt very little emotion or anger towards God, but was simplymplyl oovercomeveercr omo e
RUDYANTOJanuary 2014 WIJAYA | | REFRESHEDTHINKSTOCK IMAGES5 with sadness,” she said, adding that their counselor helped them to understand that their God was big enough to handle anger. “I decided that that summer I would focus on feeling and expressing my emotions toward God and the whole situation,” Rebekah said, adding that the Psalms became a constant companion. “It was hard, because my tendency is to push those feelings down until they blow up in my face. It was very helpful to ex- plore them.” Shawn, community pastor at Exis- tence Church, was sorting out his own emotions, learning how to balance the very public profi le of being a pastor with the intensely personal need for self-pro- tection. “It certainly is a challenge discerning when to share and when to hold back,” he said. “Overall, I think we did pretty good. As for coping with personal pain, I have a series of very close friends inside and out- side the church who I go to for support.” During the process, Shawn said he clung to Romans 8:28, even as he used “I don’t think we would have come to physically and emotionally, to bring his own pain to minister to others. adoption with an open heart if not for home their fi rst child. “Mind ninjas work their magic when going through the grieving process well,” “Some people aren’t comfortable pre- you least expect it,” he said, adding, Rebekah said. “Of course, grieving isn’t a paring or celebrating before an adopted “Without my faith it would have been one-time event. We will grieve in differ- child arrives because of the fear of a failed hard to see the good that God was work- ing in my disappointment.” ent ways for the rest of our life; but the adoption,” she said. “Shawn and I talked His wife agreed. majority of the sadness has passed.” about that. It is a real possibility. In fact, “We really feel that God is in the busi- Having worked through much of the we know several families that experienced ness of redemption and that our story grief, the Kennedys eagerly pursued the that heartache. We decided, though, that would turn out better than we could have future. infertility had already robbed us of so expected, even if it wasn’t how we pic- “A few months before we put in our much joy we were going to march forward tured it,” Rebekah said. “We just had to application, both Shawn and I felt that and embrace the excitement.” trust him to write our story. the Lord had guided us to open adoption In April, just weeks after fi ling their and would use it to bring redemption in application, they were matched with a Looking to adoption our lives, our child’s life, and her birth birth mother and attended an ultrasound That openness to God led the Kenne- mom’s life,” Rebekah said. “We were ner- appointment. Their daughter Maggie dys to open adoption, a process in which vous but excited by the opportunity.” was born in July. the birth mom remains a part of the ba- Nearly a year ago, the Kennedys fi led “We are so grateful to have been there by’s new family long after legal proceed- an application with the Adoption Center when she was born,” her adoptive mother ings are fi nalized. of San Diego. Together they prepared, said. “We took her home two days later.”
6 REFRESHED | January 2014 Open adoption seeks to honor birth mom, adoptive families Sarah Jensen has never forgotten the community.” her young classmate, who was adopted Practically, that can include con- at 9 months. necting them with a crisis pregnancy “She didn’t know where she was center, referring them to doctors or before that age,” Jensen said. “She had safe housing, and providing one-on- a small scar on her leg and she didn’t one clinical counseling to birth par- know how she got it. I dunno … even ents and their families. when I was young, it just didn’t seem The center also provides resources From crisis to joy right to me.” to parents seeking to adopt. Sarah Jensen, who has served as di- Years later, she “Most of our families have experi- rector of the Adoption Center of San Di- still doesn’t know enced years of pain and loss in trying ego since 1993, sees similar redemptive the source of her to become parents,” she said. “We also stories unfold every year. fascination. have support groups for waiting fami- “There is joy in adoption,” said Jen- “It’s funny. I lies. I’m accountable to them, plus, sen. “Everyone that we work with is in had no connec- they meet the other couples and share crisis, adopting parents and birth par- tion to adoption their fears and joy of adoption. Many ents. Yet through faith, courage and love but I recall every couples are discouraged and worry they walk an unknown path called open adopted kid I ever Sarah Jensen that it could take years to adopt.” adoption and everyone is blessed—espe- knew,” she said. Jensen said she is a fan of open cially the child.” It’s not surprising then that Jensen adoption because it eliminates much Even after 20-plus years in the fi eld, has been involved in adoption work for of the stigma and pain for birth par- Jensen said she is still amazed at the re- more than 20 years, most of that time ents and their children. silience of birth mothers. as director of the Adoption Center of “These women make the most loving “Open adoption is a loving choice,” San Diego, a secular nonprofi t that sacrifi ce I can imagine and they should she said. “These brave young women provides counseling, education and be honored,” she said. “Yet most birth love their babies. They choose life and open adoption facilitation. mothers I know are met with scorn. How then they choose the kind of life they “We do adoptions differently at the could she ‘give up’ her baby?” want for their precious baby. Our fami- Adoption Center,” the director said. The sacrifi ce is not lost on the Kenne- lies embrace the idea of developing on- “Adoption is an internet business these dys, who just spent their fi rst Christmas going, lifelong relationships with the days. But for me, adoption is intimate. as parents and remain in contact with birth family. These babies always know So I work with prospective couples and Maggie’s birth mom. the truth. They were loved by their birth birth parents that are in our community.” “I don’t think I, or we, would have family, and the adopting family. Much of Jensen’s work involves had such a successful adoption experi- “No secrets, no shame,” she said. helping women in crisis pregnancies. ence if I hadn’t been able to surrender “These children know they are loved “They’re afraid and confused,” she my feelings and experience to the Lord,” by their birth parents.” said. “We are able to answer their Rebekah said. questions, meet with them personally For more information, visit www. Paying it forward and help them by offering resources in sdadopt.org. With their grief and uncertainty now tempered by giggles and coos, the Ken- nedys are fi nally in a place where their redemption story offers tangible truth to The Law Office of others. William A. Hannosh “It was my hope that in sharing our joy the congregation could see how God FAMILY LAW was taking the broken pieces of our life ELDER ABUSE LITIGATION and making a beautiful picture,” Shawn CIVIL LITIGATION said. “He could do it for them, too! “Adoption has defi nitely made me Proudly serving San Diego’s Christian community more sensitive to people who are experi- (Legal services also offered in Spanish and Arabic) encing grief in various ways. I can enter 343 E. Main Street, Suite 202, El Cajon into their experience and provide real encouragement, now that I have tasted 619-244-9835 | hannoshlaw.net it myself.” ■
January 2014 | REFRESHED 7 in plain sight
DEAN NELSON
Serving with simple tools
There is never a convenient time for He and I nodded to each other as he of Red Bull, the energy drink. a washing machine to stop working, but walked past, and then he disappeared on “You won’t sleep for a week if you this time was particularly inconvenient. the other side of the vending machine. drink that without any food,” I said. I needed some particular clothes for the Several minutes went by, and he didn’t He went back through the store and next day, so my wife and I did what we come back out. came out with a can of soup. used to do when we were in college or “Go see what he’s doing,” my wife As we headed to my car to get a were newly married: We went to the lo- suggested. sweatshirt for him, I asked if he needed cal Laundromat. “You go see what he’s doing,” I said. I anything else. The closest one to our house is in a didn’t really want to know. “What I could use are some socks,” neighborhood shopping area. We went After a couple of moments of stand- he said. I had just washed about 10 pair. there on a Saturday night, and by the off, I went to see what he was doing. So I gave him a sweatshirt and a time we were pulling the last loads out On the other side of the dryers, we were the only people of the vending ma- in the entire place. About 15 minutes chine was a lost and I just gave him what I had at the time. before closing time we saw what I pre- found table piled pair of socks. I didn’t go all Blind Side sumed to be a homeless man walk in. with clothing people had left in the dry- on him and bring him into my home ers. The man was trying on jackets. and have him sleep on my couch and We nodded at each other again, and I teach him how to play football and went back to folding my stuff. have a movie made about our rela- “He’s fi ne,” I said to my wife. tionship. I just gave him what I had at Cal Thomas A few minutes later the man walked the time. out, wearing a jacket that was clearly When Moses told God that there was too small for him. no way he could be God’s messenger to As we loaded stuff into our car, I the Pharaoh, God asked Moses, “What UÊ £Ê >Ì>ÞÊ noticed how cold it was. Yes, weather do you have in your hand?” Moses had a -Þ`V>Ìi`Ê in San Diego is largely perfect, but that shepherd’s staff. That was all God need- ÕÃÌ night, about this time of year, it was ed. That, and a willing servant. around 40 degrees. That’s really cold if UÊ ÝÊ iÜÃÊ When Jesus told the disciples to you’re sleeping outside. >ÞÃÌ feed the 5,000, they said there wasn’t “We should fi nd that guy and see if enough to go around. Jesus asked the he has warm enough clothes,” my wife UÊ *À viÊ disciples essentially the same thing said. This time I didn’t hesitate. I found `ÛV>Ìi that God asked Moses: What do you him leaning against the back of the have? It turned out to be more than adjacent grocery store, overlooking a enough. canyon. /ÊÃV i`ÕiÊ >Ê/ >ÃÊ That night at the Laundromat I had a “I saw you in the laundry place, and vÀÊÞÕÀÊiÝÌÊëiV>ÊiÛiÌ]Ê sweatshirt, some socks and a Vons card. I’m wondering if you’d like warmer VÌ>VÌÊ >ÀÊ >Àð What do you have in your hand? clothes,” I said. (619) 881-2851 “I’m fi ne,” he said. >ÀJ>À>ÀðV “Seriously—I have a sweatshirt that I Dean Nelson is the just washed that would be warmer than founder and director of that jacket. And since we’re right here the journalism program at a grocery store, could I get you some- at Point Loma Nazarene thing to eat?” University. His most Eventually he came into the store recent book is “God Hides www.SpeakersGroup.net with us. I told him to get whatever he in Plain Sight: How to wanted. He settled on a large container See the Sacred in a Chaotic World.”
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January 2014 | REFRESHED 9 viewpoint
JON HUCKINS
Women, childbirth and what it means to be fully human again
My wife, Jan, was eight days past her birthing event. A women is able to grow still very much with us. We just need to due date when the fi rst signs of labor a baby inside of her body—with a TINY have the eyes to see it. fi nally kicked in about 5 a.m. Being bit of help from a man—have a full One of our dear friends and neigh- past your due date is no fun (keep in grown baby come out of her body and bors is a couple weeks out from her mind, I’m a dude talking here, so I re- then offer it all the resources it needs… due date. After losing her fi rst baby a ally have no idea how hard it really is) with her body. few months into her pregnancy, these as you start to wonder, one, if this little There is something sacred to this moments leading up to arrival seem creature will actually EVER arrive and, and I don’t think it gets celebrated or a little extra sacred. Having lost our two, if your labor will have to be initi- near the attention it ated by powers outside of your control, should. namely lots of drugs and stuff. After When God created our fi rst baby, Ruby, decided to make humanity, we were I got a glimpse into a rightly ordered her triumphal entry on the very LAST made in God’s image. creation. I saw—quite tangibly—the day before we would had to make some The very nature of hard choices about the road forward, God was inscribed on way God created us to function… we were praying baby No. 2 would come us as God had serious along a bit sooner. plans for the role hu- As the contractions strengthened, mans would play in the Creation Story. fi rst baby at fi ve months along, Janny we celebrated that this was the real There was no sin. No fallenness. No understands the mental, emotional and deal and Janny locked into this sacred, vision for us to become subservient to spiritual weight of carrying a baby to super-human state of focus and deter- the constructs that would be assembled term after such a tragedy. mination like I’ve never encountered. around us. In fact, to be fully human As such, Janny transformed our Strong. was to be quite divine. upstairs bedroom into a little haven of Steady. Of course, we know there was a blessing, encouragement and renewal. Quiet. break in the Story. Selfi shness, infi del- With candles lit and soft music stream- At peace. ity and violence started to corrupt what ing quietly through the space, she in- It was surreal. Of course, I was a was originally created to be in perfect vited this woman over for a facial. Hav- ball of anxiety, fear and anticipation union with God. ing gotten her friend settled into this wrapped in the cloak of a “secure sup- While our faith tradition affi rms the space, Janny started to reveal a series of port partner.” About 80 percent of her reality of sin, it also affi rms the reality surprises that turned an ordinary facial laboring happened at home when we fi - of God’s image and design being cen- into an experience with the divine. nally got in the car to head to the birth- tral to who we are as humans. After the One of our other friends came in ing center. Trying not to hit the breaks, Reformation (think John Calvin, Martin the room with her harp and began to speed without getting a ticket and keep Luther and a lot of angry church folk), play next to the bed. Then, one-by-one, my mouth shut, we pulled in and got all this portion of our tradition didn’t get women from our faith community came settled in for the grand arrival. as much press, but it is just as true as into the room and offered blessings Again, surreal. ever. over mom and baby. Instead of leaving Confi dently instructing a hand- after their blessing, most stayed and ful of us on how to support her, Janny A sacred space began massaging her feet and arms and was stoic. Not long after we got to the That brings me back to what I saw belly. birthing center, our little Rosie arrived and experienced in that birthing center. Tears were shed, burdens were car- in my arms—quite literally!—and we I got a glimpse into a rightly ordered ried together and the hope of new life snuggled as a family of four for the fi rst creation. I saw—quite tangibly—the became palpable. time. way God created us to function … and it As I began to process what had just was remarkable. It was worship. It was Sacrifi cial love unfolded in front of my eyes, I was a reminder that the God who created us I often talk about the idea of a thin struck by the sacredness of the whole hasn’t given up on us. No, in fact, he is place; a physical space where heaven
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…rightly ordered '/,$ s WWWGOLDTRUSTSTORECOM humanity isn’t about %THAN !LLEN 3HOPPING #ENTER s #LAIREMONT -ESA "OULEVARD s 3AN $IEGO #! who holds the most power, but who is most The willing to give it away tree of knowledge for the sake of another. begins with and earth seem to collide, a place literacy where God’s kingdom is made real. In this instance, it was a place where ,ITERACY &IRST #HARTER 3CHOOLS we got a glimpse into what it means to be fully human again. A place where A community where… God’s intended design actually came s ,ITERACY INCLUDES CULTURE AND LANGUAGE about. s !LL CHILDREN ARE KNOWN In a world where heroism, success s !LL STAFF IS INVESTED IN THE SUCCESS OF EACH INDIVIDUAL and order are most often defi ned by s %DUCATIONAL SUCCESS IS EXPECTED FOR ALL STUDENTS men projecting their insecurities on s #HILDREN ARE EMBRACED AS UNIQUE AND CREATIVE society, I thank God for women. And INDIVIDUALS for far more than childbirth (that just s 0ARENTS ARE VALUED AS AN INTEGRAL PART OF THE happens to be what deeply moved me TEAM recently). s 2ESEARCH PROVEN METHODS AND TECHNIQUES For their leadership. ARE EMPLOYED For their compassion. s 4ECHNOLOGY IS INTEGRATED INTO THE SCHOOL For the way they show us what sac- ROUTINE rifi cial love actually looks like. For the way they guide us to the s %DUCATION IS VIEWED AS A PROCESS NOT A PRODUCT stuff that actually matters most. For the way they remind us that rightly ordered humanity isn’t about who holds the most power, but who is most willing to give it away for the sake of another. Because, for me, women show us Call the registrar for how to be fully human again. enrollment information: (619) 668-2134 Jon Huckins is on staff www.lfcsinc.org with NieuCommunites in Golden Hill, co-founder of The Global Immersion Literacy First School locations
Project, speaker and Primary Academy (K-3) Liberty Academy (K-6) Junior Academy (4-8) Liberty Charter High author of “Thin Places” 799 E. Washington Ave. 698 W. Main St. 1012 E. Bradley Ave. School (9-12) and “Teaching Through El Cajon, CA 92020 El Cajon, CA 92020 El Cajon, CA 92021 8425 Palm St. (619) 579-7232 (619) 579-7233 (619) 596-5665 Lemon Grove, CA 91945 the Art of Storytelling.” Follow his blog at www. (619) 668-2131 jonhuckins.net.
January 2014 | REFRESHED 11 perspective
PHIL COOKE
‘Revolutions,’ not ‘resolutions’
The statistics are in on how well “revolutionary” because they are seri- control of your life. We often fail be- we keep New Year’s Resolutions, and ous, critical and there’s no turning back. cause we don’t take the time to decide it doesn’t look good. Forbes Magazine Revolutionary changes signal to your what’s really important. A promotion reports that while 40 percent of us make family and friends that this year, your has little value if it comes at the ex- New Year’s resolutions, just 8 percent life is going in a new direction. Whatev- pense of your family. Most of us fl oat actually follow through on those goals. er those changes may be for you, make through life never giving a thought to We rarely get to the end of January be- them big and make them loud. Once what we want to be remembered for fore we’re reminded that every year we you’ve fi gured out the list of those revo- accomplishing. My advice? Stop spend- make New Year’s resolutions, and every lutionary changes, here are some tips ing so much time on what other people year we fail. We just can’t seem to stay for making those resolutions stick: think is urgent, and spend more time on committed, enthusiastic or determined 1. There Can Be No Other Choice. We what really matters to you. usually think hitting 3. Eliminate Destructive Distrac- Revolutionary changes signal to your bottom is the end, tions. Release the negative baggage but the truth is, it from your life. Stop re-living your last family and friends that this year, your can be a new begin- failure and start focusing on the fu- ning. I’ve discovered ture. The divorce, fi ring, bankruptcy, life is going in a new direction. that if there’s any or other disaster in your past does not other option, most determine your future. I was fi red from enough to keep our good intentions. But people will take it. The vast majority of my job at 36 and now, two decades later the word “resolution” is simply an- New Year’s resolutions fail because the I realize it was the best thing that could other way to express the desire for stakes simply aren’t high enough. When have happened. You can’t see what’s change. And when you discover the it’s not important, we don’t take our coming if you’re looking in the rearview secrets to real change, your resolutions resolutions seriously. What do you need mirror. As long as you dwell in the past, will start to stick. to change that’s really “life or death” for you’ll never discover your destiny. One of those secrets is size. In my you? An extra 10 pounds might not be 4. Finally, Build a Motivation Ma- book “Jolt: Get the Jump on a World much to most people, but for a model, chine. Discover the difference cheer- That’s Constantly Changing,” I reveal actress or athlete, it could kill a ca- leaders can make. Long ago, athletes that resolutions need to be big enough reer. Don’t make a resolution unless it’s discovered the power of a cheering to matter. Most people don’t change really critical. section. As you work through the most little things, so start with the biggest ar- 2. Change What Matters. Take con- challenging aspects of personal change, eas of your life that need to change and trol of your priorities, and you’ll take you need people who believe and will need to change now. I call these changes encourage you, so go public with your new dreams. Get rid of the negative peo- — 2013 San Diego Magazine: TOP LAWYERS IN SAN DIEGO — ple in your life, and surround yourself with people who are convinced of your Personal Injury & Accident Cases possibilities! Start thinking now about how you’d s Auto/Bike Accidents s Dog Bites like your life to change in 2014. It’s never too early, or late, to start the journey… s Slip & Fall Accidents s Wrongful Death FREE CONSULTATION s -ORE THAN YEARS EXPERIENCE Phil Cooke is a fi lmmaker, media consultant and .O ATTORNEY FEES UNTIL YOU WIN author of “One Big Thing: John B. Little Callahan, Little & Sullivan Discovering What You Attorney at Law 2533 South Coast Highway, Suite 280, Cardiff, CA 92007 Were Born to Do.” Learn North County 760.633.3332 | San Diego 858.481.6111 more at www.philcooke. com.
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January 2014 | REFRESHED 13 on the mark MARK LARSON
Saying ‘hello’ has become a lost art
I am being haunted by the ghost of gesture covers connecting with friends a recent story of a woman who walked Christmas past. Now before you say, and family. Nice gesture, but what about off the end of a pier while updating her “Mark, the holiday season was so over the rest of the year? Friendship takes Facebook status. weeks ago,” work with me here. some work, ongoing cultivation and (She survived, and so did her phone.) Instead of the usual seasonal left- frequency. Another way to make a difference, overs (like bills), one thing sticks in my One way to say hi to more friends is and get more out of each day, is to en- mind. It’s a lyric from Burl Ives’ classic to think of it when traveling. gage in conversation with people who hit, “Have a Holly Jolly Christmas.” And When arriving in another city I ask work in service jobs. now that I brought it up, you can’t get it myself, “Who do I know here?” I check People who clear tables, park cars, out of your head either. my iPhone contacts, then call or text a or handle marketplace checkouts rarely Here’s the convicting line from ol’ quick “Hey, I’m town, just saying hello.” have much meaningful interaction with Burl: “Say hello to friends you know, and I’ll also ask about family or job… any- customers. It’s usually just a parade of everyone you meet,” thing to show people in a hurry. EVERYONE? That’s a I gave the On a recent East Coast trip, while tall order, isn’t it? message a buying newspapers and a bottle of water Greeting others is little thought. at the Philadelphia airport, I struck up diffi cult. For example, After a chat with the man who was ringing up when’s the last time that kind my purchase, “How’s your day going so you even said “hello” of contact, far?” He said, “Great, so far! I’m blessed to a stranger on the good things by God!” I didn’t see that one coming. I street… or anywhere can happen. said, “So am I… and what’s the best part else? There are of your work day?” How about when opportunities He explained how much he loved you’re in an elevator for a quick having a job, period. His attitude became with others? My friend meeting over more evident because a customer asked Dennis Prager told me long ago how he coffee or dinner. Friendships are re- him about how HE was doing. I then goes out of his way to say something freshed, prayer requests are exchanged noticed the next customers were much funny to others in such situations, espe- and, sometimes, new business comes more personable, seeming to realize cially if he is there with only one other from the connections. At the very least, that there was a real person behind the person. It sends a message that sets the friends are reminded that they are re- counter, not someone to be ignored or other individual at ease. Humor and a membered. taken for granted. good-natured personality make a dif- Saying hello to everyone you meet, Burl Ives was right. Finding ways ference, especially when people don’t though, is more complicated. And it to “say hello to friends you know, and expect it. can be scary. There are plenty of places everyone you meet” is very worthwhile. Too many of us say little or nothing where a friendly howdy may send a mes- And it makes life much more interest- to our fellow Americans each day. Sim- sage of “Hey, I’m ready to be mugged.” ing, throughout the year. ple greetings have become a lost art. So it’s important to pick opportunities Maybe we’re too caught up in high carefully. tech communication, engaged in social As you see someone (even if they’re Mark Larson is a veteran media greetings and posts, tweets and looking grumpy) passing on the street, a Southern California updates. It feels like we say hello all the simple smile can make a big difference. radio/television time. Just not in a more personal way. You never know how you have a chance personality and media Saying hello to friends you know is to brighten someone’s day. consultant. His voice is a wonderful place to begin the process. Most people seem to be so absorbed heard on KPRZ 1210AM, Maybe you sent out Christmas cards in cell phones and other technology and his weekday talk (though that’s also a lost art, as the that they rarely look up to see others. show airs mornings 6-9 on KCBQ 1170AM. Learn U.S. Postal Service notes), believing the Sometimes that leads to bad news, like more at www.marklarson.com.
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January 2014 | REFRESHED 15 Just for
PB church uses soccer, fi tness Kicksto reach, shape its community by LORI ARNOLD
When Christians get into the some- times-precarious effort of outreach to the community, they often fi nd themselves straddling murky questions of faith, evil and God’s design for humanity. For mem- bers of Barabbas Road Church the gate- way to ministry is black and white. Located in Pacifi c Beach, one of the county’s youngest and most active com- munities, Barabbas was looking for an outreach tool that fi t the community. With a staff and membership who view fi tness as a lifestyle not a four-letter word, soccer became the outlet. “There are a ton of fun and free things to do in San Diego and we knew we could not compete with those,” said Matt Smith, the founder and pastor of Barab- bas Road Church. “Instead, we wanted to simply provide an environment where new people in the church could easily connect with each other and the com- Personal trainer Nick Duellman, tries to secure control of the ball munity in a fun way.” during a pick-up soccer game A former Olympic hopeful in rowing hosted by Barabbas Road Church who walked away from formal competi- in Pacifi c Beach. The congregation tion after discovering Jesus and commit- uses post-worship service soccer ting to full-time ministry, Smith said the matches as a community outreach. church originally began offering person- al training, but over time shifted focus to pick-up soccer games. “To this day soccer after church re- said. “For an outreach it is a less frighten- “It can be played by people of all fi t- mains one of the best ways we have seen ing approach for people to get to know and ness levels with minimal equipment. We for new people get to know others in the learn about the church while having fun have experimented with other sports but church and community,” Smith, a former with a bunch of cool people. have always come back to soccer. Every- personal trainer said. “It is much easier The fl exibility of the sport has helped one gets a chance to play!” to get to know someone when you both the congregation as it has grown and are exercising. In my opinion lunches moved around various locations, includ- Field of prayers and more formal get-togethers can be ing its current home at Pacifi c Beach Duellman said the informal games diffi cult for folks to engage someone, but Middle School. Earlier in the church’s allow members of the church to model after soccer it comes naturally.” history they used the expansive Kate their faith in practical ways. Prayers are Nick Duellman, who became a Chris- Sessions Park on the east end of town. freely offered before each game. tian through the ministry of Barabbas “Any open fi eld or lot can be used for “It helps keep people safe,” he said. Road, said the neutrality of soccer ben- soccer,” Duellman, who is also a fi tness “Also, I think it shows newer Christians efi ts everyone involved. trainer, said. “All you really need is some and non-Christians the living out of the “For in-reach it makes a great environ- goals and cones. We even had games faith. Through a competitive sport, self- ment to get to know people in the church if where we used shoes as the goals and lessness, inclusion, grace and love for you are new and like sports and fi tness,” he played barefoot! one of another can really be seen.”
16 REFRESHED | January 2014 community news
Tourney to benefi t foster kids fragrances will also be provided. “Sweet DEL MAR — The 22nd annual Voices Melodies” will present the music. for Children Golf Tournament will be Stonecroft Ministries/Christian Wom- held beginning at 11 a.m. Feb. 24 at the en’s club is sponsoring the luncheon. Del Mar Country Club: The shotgun Tickets are $18. The reservation start is set for noon with the dinner and deadline is Jan. 16. awards program at 5 p.m. The club is located at 1750 San Pablo Proceeds for the event will be used to Drive. expand the agency’s mission to trans- For more information, go to www. form the lives of foster children in San stonecroft.org or call (760) 432-0772. His pastor agreed, saying the disci- Diego County by providing them with pline required to maintain a fi t lifestyle the caring advocacy of a Court Appoint- mirrors that of a faithful believer. ed Special Advocate or CASA volunteer. “The discipline I was using to train to The specially trained CASA volunteers be the best in the world at rowing I was lend support to the children, research able to use to serve God,“ he said refer- a case, interview parties involved, and encing 1 Corinthians 9:24-27: make recommendations to the court. “Do you not know that in a race all the For information, call (858) 598-2222. runners run, but only one receives the prize? So run that you may obtain it. Every Play tribute to MLK athlete exercises self-control in all things. SAN DIEGO — “A Night with the King,” They do it to receive a perishable wreath, stage play will be presented at 6 p.m. Jan. Agajanian at concert series but we an imperishable. So I do not run 18 at the Educational Cultural Complex. LAKESIDE — Lakeside Presbyterian aimlessly; I do not box as one beating the The play examines the civil rights Church will launch its 2014 concert se- air. But I discipline my body and keep it movement and the role of Dr. Martin Lu- ries with local son, Dennis Agajanian, at under control, lest after preaching to oth- ther King Jr. 4 p.m. Jan. 12. ers I myself should be disqualifi ed.” “The era of the ’60s is revisited Agajanian, a resident of East County, through fi ve of his most recognized is known for exceptional guitar work and Disciplined Christianity and moving speeches,” organizers said. rebel-style vocals. That commitment to discipline is “Walk back in time through the hope, Over the years he’s won numerous what Smith said he seeks from his own tragedy and triumphs of this period in awards, including Musician of the Year fl ock. American history.” Awards, ICM Entertainer of the Year awards “To me this is the call for a disciplined Play writer and coordinator, Maxine and the 2008 Living Legend Award. Christianity that is to be normative for the Clark created the tribute as part of “Our Agajanian, who has toured across the church,” he said. “This has caused me to Living Heritage”, an annual production globe and has worked with Samaritan’s be expect more from those who claim to effort she spearheaded to acknowledge Purse crusades, began playing the guitar be believers in Christ. We all should want Black heroes and heroines. at the age of 15. to glorify God as much as I was willing to Proceeds from the play will benefi t work to glorify myself before being saved.” the St. Stephens Cathedral Church of In March, the church will host the Ugan- th At the same time, Smith said he is God in Christ Sunshine Band. dan Children’s choir on the 9 and “Mainly cognizant that if people are not careful, Tickets are $15 and available at ssb- Mozart,” a production of the San Diego the commitment to fi tness can easily be- nightwiththeking.eventbrite.com. School of Performing Arts on March 28. come a distracting idol that focuses on The cultural complex is located at The church is located at 9908 Chan- the created, not the Creator. 4343 Oceanview Blvd. nel Road. “Before I was saved, I wanted to be the For more information, call (619) 277- For information, call (619) 443-1021. best in the world at something, anything 6228. really, and athletics was my path to being Intro to Prophecy class a somebody,” he said. “When I became a ‘Out with the Old’ luncheon ENCINITAS — Encinitas Beach Chapel Christian I realized my worth was related SAN MARCOS — The San Marcos- will hold a 10-week class “Introduction to Christ and it was about His glory not Vista Christian Women’s Club luncheon to the Prophetic” beginning at 7 p.m. Jan. mine, anyways. It took a bit but I under- “Out with the Old, In with the New” will 17. Sessions are two hours every Friday. stand that we are happier as people when be held at 11:30 a.m. Jan. 20 at the St. The cost for the series is $65, which we are giving God His glory rather than Mark Golf Club, formerly called The Lake includes a book. trying to steal it for ourselves.” ■ San Marcos Country Club. The chapel is located at 510 S. El Sharon Simonian, a Laguna Nigel Camino Real. Learn more at www.barabbasroadchurch. poet, actor, former teacher and motiva- For more information, visit www. com. tional speaker. A presentation of Scentry beachchapel.org or call (760) 942-4900.
January 2014 | REFRESHED 17 Disney’s animator of heroines
Mark Henn talks about creating Disney’s leading ladies, his Christian faith, and his work on ‘Frozen’ by EMILY BELZ IMAGE COURTESY OF WALT DISNEY PICTURES
sultant, mentor, cheerleader. I touched puter-animated fi lm. The only thing that all of the characters at different times. changed for me was the tool, getting pro- ark Henn has been an anima- I helped them make scenes stronger, fi cient enough to use the tool. tor at Disney for 33 years. While make the expressions stronger. Marsh- I’ve been here 33 years now. I bring Mhe has animated many of Dis- mallow, Olaf, Ana, Elsa, Kristoph, Sven that skill set to help the younger anima- ney’s best-known characters (from Goofy … I’m kind of partial to the leading la- tors think like a Disney animator. I don’t to Winnie the Pooh to the mice in “The dies in our fi lms. That’s been a big part of see a difference between hand-drawn Rescuers”), he has the reputation as the my résumé. This fi lm presented a unique animation and computer-generated animator of heroines. He animated Belle challenge—not one (leading lady), but animation from that point of view. The from “Beauty and the Beast,” Ariel from two. They’re sisters, but they’re very dif- heart and mind of the animator is the “Little Mermaid,” Jasmine from “Alad- ferent. same. And that’s what I’m trying to pass din,” Mulan from “Mulan” and Tiana on to the new group of artists. from “Princess and the Frog.” Now for You’ve worked in two-dimensional Disney’s new animated fi lm “Frozen,” animation and now three-dimension- I’ve heard animators describe their Henn served as one of the lead anima- al. As technology has changed, has job as acting. tors, overseeing the development of all the artistic process changed for you? Think of us like a theater troupe— of the characters. If you think of the difference between that’s very much like an animated fi lm. hand-drawn animation and computer- Over time as you get to know one anoth- er you learn each other’s strengths. Some Can you talk in more detail about generated animation—you have two people are great at comedy. You have the kind of work you did in “Frozen,” completely different tools but the same other people who are more into the dra- and whether there was a particular end result: to make a character come to matic, more emotional acting. You have character you were drawn to? life. I did some computer animation— some typecasting among animators. I worked with the animators as a con- “Meet the Robinsons” was my fi rst com- Being an animator is the best of both worlds. I love drawing. I love performing and acting, but I don’t have to be on the screen myself. CHILD CUSTODY & Support Speaking of typecasting among an- Law Office of imators, how did you end up animat- Patrick L. McCrary ing all the leading ladies? I don’t know other than I grew up the 34 YEARS OF FAMILY LAW EXPERIENCE oldest of three kids—my other two sib- Also handling… lings are sisters. I grew up with girls and Divorce and Property Division I’m probably more comfortable walking into a room with a bunch of girls than 222 W. Madison, El Cajon | (619) 589-8533 a bunch of guys. I fell in love with Snow Named by the San Diego Daily Transcript as a San Diego County Top Attorney 2008 White and Cinderella. But I’ve also done mice and dogs and Winnie the Pooh and
18 REFRESHED | January 2014 Henn served as one of the lead animators in Frozen, overseeing the development of all of the characters.
IMAGE COURTESY OF WALT DISNEY PICTURES
Pete (in the Mickey Mouse short “Get a Horse!” that will be many a tough day and tough scene and tough production schedule. shown before “Frozen”). It’s nice to work for a company—we’re not a church organi- zation or a faith-based organization—but the basic values we How does your faith play into your work, into character want to put across in our fi lms are right in line with my faith. development and storytelling? It’s a global impact as well as day-to-day and scene-to-scene. I noticed “Frozen” had themes about self-sacrifi ce and I’m very blessed. … This has been my boyhood dream to be a Disney the importance of family. animator. I’ve seen a lot of change and a lot of ups and downs. I was Parents need to do a little work and glean out those things almost fi red at one point. God has been incredibly gracious to allow and talk about them with their kids. (The themes) are there. The me to be here, and I feel like this is where I’m supposed to be. parents have the responsibility to look for them. ■ In the minutiae—it’s those daily struggles—you’re fi ghting a scene, the same things everyone deals with. He’s gotten me through Emily Belz writes for World News Service.
One of Southern Gospel Music’s most popular family groups.
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January 2014 | REFRESHED 19 Balancing faith, families, music and a love of surfi ng by LORI ARNOLD
20 REFRESHED | January 2014 on Foreman took his usual place on stage, in front of his Switchfoot bandmates as they launched out on yet another tour, this one designed to Jrediscover their passion in the midst of growing demands at home. This time, traveling to some of the world’s best surfi ng spots, they decided to chronicle their adventure in a documentary as they searched for inspiration for their ninth album, “Fading West.” After rocking their Australian audience, Jon left the stage, read an urgent text from home and found himself rocked—and the cameras were rolling. His infant daughter Daisy needed emergency surgery and he was 30 hours away.
January 2014 | REFRESHED 21 “Fading West’ was shot along legendary surf breaks in Australia, New Zealand, Africa and Bali.
The rock cacophony that propelled face. lantic Records/Word. the band to sales of more than 5.5 mil- “When things go wrong you ask your- “The point became, ‘What are we lion records over their 17 years together self, ‘How can there be a good God?’ going to do to push ourselves?’” Jon abruptly gave way to ear-numbing si- Jon ponders aloud. “I think the conclu- said of the earliest stages of the al- lence as Jon’s bandmates, including sion that I come to is that both faith and bum’s creation. “Could we take ourselves brother Tim, solidifi ed their relationship doubt are equally logical choices in the somewhere we’d never been before, yet without words. face of tragedy.” achieve a feeling of comfort at the same The intimacy of the moment is cap- As Jon looks toward home, the band time? How do we go to a new place that tured in “Fading West,” the band’s fi rst cancels several shows foray into fi lm and a complement piece and regroups by calling to the namesake album. Directed by Matt in a friend to fi ll in for “Faith is to say, ‘Yes, a future will Katsolis and fi lmed during Switchfoot’s Jon while he is state- have pain’ but there’s a meaning and 2012 World Tour, “Fading West” released side. Dec. 10 on a variety of digital platforms. “Faith is to say, ‘Yes, a purpose deeper than that pain.” The band celebrated with a performance a future will have pain’ on the Tonight Show with Jay Leno. but there’s a meaning and a purpose feels like home? At its core, the fi lm captures the emo- deeper than that pain,” Jon adds. “For “For a long time, home was a place of tional intersection of balancing their me, that is my choice, to believe rather failure because it meant that we didn’t fi rst loves: faith, families, music and than doubt.” have any shows. When you drop out of their love of surfi ng, a bond that has kept college in your early ’20s and all your them connected as they’ve grown from Regrouping overseas friends are getting jobs and you’re the young adults to family men. Following Daisy’s successful surgery guy who lives with his parents, it’s way The fi lm shows their humanity, some- and her parents’ prayers for discern- better to be on the road. Only recently times lost in the whirl of rock star suc- ment, Jon rejoins Switchfoot in South did I feel like home was a place where I cess. In that agonizing space between Africa. As he returns to the tour, home could feel comfortable and content.” reading the text and catching a fl ight remains sharply in focus as the group In creating the fi lm, Switchfoot and back home, for instance, the camera gets to work on writing songs for the al- its director Katsolis took inspiration catches Jon sketching his daughter’s bum, which releases Jan. 14 through At- from Irish rockers U2 and their 1988
22 REFRESHED | January 2014 documentary “Rattle and Hum,” which also follows the exploits of the band, and outtakes from the 1966 fi lm “The Endless Sum- mer,” which follows the global search of two surfers. “Fading West’ was shot along legendary surf breaks in Australia, Downey-Burnett duo expand New Zealand, Africa and Bali, where the Foreman brothers “breathe fresh life into faith-based stories on TV, fi lm their songwriting and sound by harness- Executive producers Roma Downey and 900 Jews were ensconced in a fortress at ing the spirit of their stunning surround- Mark Burnett, the team behind the History Masada, a mountain in the Judean desert. ings and mining new emotional depths.” Channel’s megahit miniseries “The Bible,” Besieged at Masada, the Jews held out for “The idea was to surf, write songs, will produce “The Dovekeepers,” for CBS. months against the vast Roman armies. play music, and see what ideas came,” The four-hour miniseries, which is The miniseries will recount the un- Tim said. expected to air in 2015, is based on Al- folding events from the perspective of ice Hoffman’s acclaimed historical novel four extraordinary women who arrive at From kids to gigs about four extraordinary women whose Masada independently and with unique The result is part rock documentary, lives intersect in a fi ght for survival at backstories, but who share a common part surf fi lm and part travelogue as the the siege of Masada. drive for survival. camera captures the incredible move- “We are excited to get to turn this “The Dovekeepers is a compelling, ments of the ocean, the frenetic energy bestselling novel by Alice Hoffman into beautifully written novel that combines of the band’s live shows, giddy rehears- an epic miniseries that will be a ma- history and fi ction into a timeless sto- als with their children, and quiet mo- jor television event on CBS,” said Roma ry of survival and heroism,” said Nina ments of refl ection. Downey. “This novel is a testament to Tassler, president of CBS Entertainment, “We set out knowing that we were go- the human spirit and how love can rise adding that the Romney Burnett team ing to document whatever happened,” from the ashes of war. It is, quite simply, possesses an “amazing passion for tell- said drummer Chad Butler. “Wheth- an amazing story of heroism and hope, ing biblical stories and for producing en- er that ended up being the demise of and a story that must be seen not just tertaining television on an event scale.” Switchfoot or the rebirth of something with the eyes but felt with the heart.” In addition to their television work, new, we were going to document it, one Set in ancient Israel, “The Dovekeep- the husband-and-wife team have been way or the other. We had two themes: ers” is based on the true events at Ma- working in fi lm, with their latest project, surfi ng, music and how they intersect. sada in 70 A.D. After being forced out of “Son of God,” scheduled for release by And looking for inspiration for a new re- their home in Jerusalem by the Romans, 20th Century Fox on Feb. 28. cord was the motivation to chase those themes. I feel like we succeeded in fi nd- ing the means to make a record based on Eareckson Tada sings movie score and inspired by the ocean.” As part of its 52-date fall tour, Switch- Noted author and foot opened its act with the fi lm, followed speaker Joni Eareck- by a stripped-down but still rocking live son Tada, whose Joni performance by the band. Besides its San & Friends ministry has Diego show, the band sold out venues in reached millions, finds Los Angeles, Seattle, Denver, Portland, herself on a different Phoenix, St. Louis, Atlanta and two dates stage these days after re- in New York. cording “Alone Yet Not The fi lm is available on iTunes, Ama- Alone,” the main score for zon, Instant Video, Cable Movies on De- a Christian-themed movie mand, Google Play, Xbox Video, Sony by the same name. “Alone PlayStation, CinemaNow and Vudu. Yet Not Alone,” which fol- lows the struggle of two Lydia (Jenn Gotzon) hides the children after their village was attacked Serving others sisters captured by a Dela- by Native Americans in a scene from “Alone Yet Not Alone,” a movie that In addition to their commercial suc- ware tribe and taken to features the voice of Joni Eareckson Tada in the title song. cess, Switchfoot has raised hundreds of Ohio, will release nation- thousands of dollars to aid homeless in wide on March 14. More than 12,000 Broughton and Emmy-winning lyricist San Diego through the Switchfoot Bro- advance tickets for the movie have al- Dennis Spiegel. Broughton’s movie cred- Am Foundation, which hosts an annual ready been purchased. its include “Silverado,” “Young Sherlock surf competition and concert. The fi lm is based on the true story of Holmes,” “Lost in Space,” “Tombstone,” Switchfoot will hit the road again Barbara and Regina Leininger in 1755, “Miracle on 34th Street,” “The Presidio” soon with dates to be announced. ■ during the French and Indian War. “The Boy Who Could Fly,” “The Rescuers Eareckson Tada recorded the song Down Under and Bambi II.” For more information, including a “Fading after being moved by its lyrics and His TV tunes include “JAG,” “Quincy” West” trailer, visit www.switchfoot.com. score. The song was composed by Bruce and “How the West Was Won.”
January 2014 | REFRESHED 23 Noel and Melissa Musicha used their honeymoon cash to invest in a village center in the southeast African nation of Malawi and launched The Chisomo Idea, a multifaceted ministry that uses soccer, youth development seminars, tutoring, mentoring, after-school learning centers, scholar-athlete initiatives, micro loans and other outreaches to build communities. Chisomo translates as grace.
24 REFRESHED | January 2014 The Chisomo Idea
San Diegans take Jesus to Malawi’s poor, fi nd He’s already there by LORI ARNOLD
oel Musicha stood along the tiny wall inside Humphrey Mvula’s Nbedroom in a poverty-rich vil- lage in Malawi. With sleeping quarters no bigger than an average American walk-in closet, Musicha tried not to en- croach upon three mats, one for each of the Mvula brothers. As Musicha’s eyes adjusted to the A girl’s soccer team kicks off in Chinsapo, Malawi. The team is one of six academy teams fi elded darkness, they fell upon a wall covered by The Chisomo Idea, a San Diego-based international organization with a mission to make a with glossy-magazine articles that Mvu- sustainable difference in impoverished African communities. la had clipped of his favorite soccer play- ers. The pages—boasting headlines such ego. “We have this tendency to look at which translates “‘No one does life as “Big Expectations,” “Seek and De- people and when, in our own eyes, they alone.’” stroy,” “Thinking Big” and “Lost?”—did look hopeless, we say, ‘Ahh, what can the “You not only see community, you more than hide the imperfections of the person become?’ feel community.” hand-crafted clay bricks and mortar that “I was moved by the imagery of that Awakened to the young man’s real- occasionally cast sunlight into the cave- (poster). I think it was a reminder from ity— birthed in the heart, but suspended like, but quite clean home. God to me on how I view people, what by his life’s station—Musicha became They were a testimony to Mvula’s I view as an image of God in people and determined to set Mvula on a path to dreams. what it looks like to be able to stand with capture his dreams by capitalizing on “Yeah, to me, they have special mean- people and say, ‘The things that you are community. ing—these posters. … They encourage dreaming about are real. Let’s pursue “His hopes and his dreams didn’t me to continue with my career of soc- those.’” seem very consistent with the place cer,” Mvula told his guest, adding that Moments before visiting the home, where he was coming from. I was given he hoped to go to college, play soccer as the pair walked the dusty red clay dirt a much different platform than Mvula professionally and one day have his own to get to Mvula’s house, the young man was,” said Musicha, who grew up in a story featured on crisp, bright pages. told Musicha he loved his home village privileged Malawi neighborhood. “And The spiritual connotations of the of Chinsapo, outside of Malawi’s capitol for a moment I started thinking, ‘Man, he magazine headlines were not lost on city of Lilongwe. has all these incredible dreams. He has Musicha, whose eyes came to rest on a “I like everything from here because gifts to be able to pursue those dreams, story about former South African player I don’t even mind how poor I am, how but he wouldn’t be able to just because Arthur Zwane. Above the text, bold-faced poor are my friends or how rich (they the platform is not there for him. Think- words screamed “Don’t Write Me Off.” are),” Mvula said. “I just care about my ing about him and thinking about all the “That was moving, because that’s future.” other kids who are kind of in the same what we do as people,” said Musicha, a His comments refl ect a way of life scenario, who are just stuck in this grip Malawi native who now lives in San Di- in Malawi, a concept known as umuthu, of poverty, that really shook me up.”
January 2014 | REFRESHED 25 The chance encounter—orchestrated in a way only God can do—set in motion a pledge by Musicha that he would never take for granted another person’s story. “I promised him, personally, that I was going to make sure that at least the dream he had of going to college was go- ing to be a reality, at least as much that was dependent on me,” Musicha said. “I didn’t even know how it was pos- sible for us to be able to make that hap- pen fi nancially, but I just knew that it was not going to be possible anymore for me to worry about my monthly bread when Mvula was worrying about his dai- ly bread. I thought there was something broken there. Something was wrong.”
• • • Noel Musicha has some fun with young children from Kudoku Children’s Center, The Chisomo Idea’s learning community for kids. The community turns into a feeding center in times of hunger. Musicha, though raised in a better neighborhood than Mvula, shared many The projects of The Chisomo Idea of the same dreams. Their most common Theater of Dreams Sports Academy mitted athletes. The program is mas- interest was soccer. In order to pursue his dream of playing professionally, though, Uses grassroots soccer development terminded by students from The Afri- Musicha’s parents insisted he earn a col- as a way of highlighting and unleash- can Bible College who go to the town lege degree, so Musicha enrolled at San ing the potential that exists in Chinsa- of Chinsapo every week to promote Diego Christian College, which recruited po and inspires the community in the the welfare of the local children. him because of his soccer skills. fi ght against poverty. The boys’ pro- While at the college, Musicha earned gram operates four age-related teams, Leadership Development Program a bachelor’s degree in communications with one age group already winning Trains and empowers local leaders and biblical studies. Later he earned a two championships. Five players from who will be motivated to bring change master’s degree in public administration the Chisomo program have advanced to their community. and organizational leadership. It was at to Malawi’s top division league. The San Diego Christian College where Mu- girls’ program has brought numer- Business Program sicha met his wife, Melissa. After marry- ous victories and one championship, Some of the mothers whose children ing in the States, the couple traveled to prompting news coverage in Malawi’s are a part of the Chisomo soccer pro- Malawi in 2007 where his family hosted leading newspapers. gram are eligible for small loans from the ministry. Seven women have partic- Netball Program ipated in the program and are already Netball is one of the most impor- in the process of repaying their loans. Teams from Chisomo Idea’s Soccer Academy tant female sports in Malawi, with listen to Movement Director Cosmas Phiri. its national team ranked fi fth in the Children’s Centers Program world. The Chisomo program is still in Provides opportunities for urban its infancy, but organizers say it shows youth to invest in the lives of village promise. children by providing them with training and resources that they Scholar Athlete Program would otherwise not have. Many of Designed to create a platform that the rural villagers, who make up as encourages academic achievement much as 85 percent of the nation’s while youth pursue their dreams of a population, lack access to qual- career in sports. The program helps to ity education, jobs, electricity, tele- assuage parental concerns that chil- phones, food and transportation. dren may be wasting their time on an The centers strive to offset this lack unobtainable sports career. of resources by providing academic development, health and hygiene, Mentoring Program sports and recreation, and spiritual Matches older, experienced, and development. committed athletes in the same set- ting with younger, aspiring, and com- Learn more at www.chisomoidea.com.
26 REFRESHED | January 2014 a second marriage ceremony for the cou- ple. While there, the couple met two doz- Transformed by his own mission en or so children who were playing soc- cer. Both where touched by the needs Noel and Melissa Musicha knew It was a transformational moment they saw. God had a plan. They just weren’t privy in which Musicha realized that the “Something just grabbed us,” he said. to what it was, exactly. They knew that transformation business belonged to Responding to God’s leading, the God was working in Malawi, He had God, not to him. couple used the honeymoon cash they called them to be part of it, “Once the conversa- received from his relatives to invest in and they had just commit- tion started it became so a village center and made arrangements ted to paying for a young true that God was already to host eight soccer clinics and a tourna- man’s college education. there,” he said. “I wasn’t ment the following year. They returned “We trust that He will ‘bringing Jesus there.’ Je- to San Diego, but left part of their hearts show up,” Noel said at the sus was already there. It in the southeast African nation. time. “But, if this is You was just opening up my The following year they returned to showing up by asking us to eyes to the reality of what his homeland, this time with a small empty up our banking ac- He had already been wad- team from Flood Church. When they ar- counts, then so be it.” ing through. This is why rived, they discovered the community Grace can sometimes be the margins have been so had mobilized around the center project just a pretty little word but, important to me. For my and was thriving. Five women and two if not used in the right context, it can also wife and I, honestly, we refuse to dream men had jumped into the effort despite can elevate the grantor over the grantee. dreams that don’t involve the poor. their lack of formal training. Someone The Musichas, however, were focused on “We want to unapologetically stand else had donated land to be used for a the messy kind of grace, the type that with the materially poor but not in the community farm. can overrun calendars and result in deep traditional provider/receiver sense. We The Musichas and their team expand- sacrifi ces of talents and money. want it to be about kinship, which is to ed the effort by offering eight soccer That’s the type of grace behind The say making sense of the fact that we clinics and tournaments in various vil- Chisomo Idea, a ministry the couple all need each other and belong to each lages near Musicha’s childhood home. In founded in Noel Musicha’s native Ma- other.” each neighborhood they were swarmed lawi. Chisomo translates into the word by hundreds of children young and old. grace. A benefi t to San Diego In one community the American visi- “In a world where people are en- Although The Chisomo Idea is fo- tors were greeted with a spontaneous ticed by the idea of upward mobility, cused on Malawi, Musicha said he be- concert featuring a child fi ngering pre- we make a case for downward mobil- lieves San Diego, where the ministry is tend keys on an abandoned tire, while ity,” said Musicha, who lives in San headquartered, and other western cit- his peers provided their own syncopated Diego and attends Flood Church. “We ies also benefi t when those who par- sound with a stick violin and drumsticks think that Jesus’ message of radical ticipate in short-term trips return to from the stalks of dried weeds. Their love only works when we truly learn to their local neighborhoods. consider others better than ourselves.” “One of the challenges we give to Musicha admits he was on the prec- our western partners is that if they can ipice and about to fall into the same trust the poor in our country, they can “grace” trap when he, his wife Melissa learn to trust the poor in their own and a team from San Diego headed country,” he said. “Our desire is that to Malawi to provide soccer clinics to their time with us is a catalyst of what poor neighborhoods. Their design was they can do in their own neighborhoods to “bring Jesus to the community.” and communities here in the U.S. In Then he met Humphrey Mvula, a Ma- other words, a tourist that comes to lawian teen who loved soccer and ex- visit our work in Malawi is no different uded a joy that seemed absurd in the from a ‘missionary.’ The only difference light of his impoverished lifestyle. is in what they do when they return.” “Jesus is not only in charge of things The mission fi eld, Musicha said, is that are visible, but He is also in charge vast. of things that are invisible,” Musicha “We live in a broken world. A world said, referring to Colossians 1:16. “So dominated by poverty, disease, wars in that moment of saying what is it and issues of social injustice,” he said. here that Humphrey sees that I don’t “However, with those problems also see? Why is he so resilient? Why is he comes an opportunity. A chance to so hopeful? Why is he able to mix his stand against the wind of apathy and tears with laughter and joy so quickly? to live out the belief that all people are Why is that able to happen? created equal.”
January 2014 | REFRESHED 27 song was accented by the mut- ed rhythm of fi eld soccer. Each child had big potential, even bigger dreams, but few re- sources. “Despite their circumstanc- es they live life so incredible, with unparalleled joy,” Musicha said. Because they planned to minister in one community and then move on to the next Musicha said he believed their ability to truly touch the people would be limited. “It doesn’t quite work that way because when you’ve seen people, especially young peo- ple who do have dreams but the dreams are about to robbed out of them because of poverty, you look at those people in the Chisomo Idea leaders get involved in exuberant singing and dancing at Chisomo’s annual leadership UnConference. The eyes, sincerely, your life doesn’t UnConferences make leadership more accessible to everyday folks. just move on. You don’t ‘just do another clinic tomorrow,’ because a story build communities. Chisomo translates without expecting anything in return is has broken your heart, you know?” as grace. the norm. Scrapping together funds from fam- “As volunteers we are driven by the • • • ily and friends, Musicha was able to keep radical love and grace of Jesus Christ, his word to Mvula who is now in his sec- who continues to transform our hearts It was on a vacant lot that they dis- ond year in college. Two to three times a to understand His passion for people and covered Mvula, who drenched the dusty week he returns to his village where he see His beauty in culture,” Musicha said. playing fi eld with his passion for soccer. serves the community by coaching, men- “His love compels us to care and serve “It wasn’t just about the way he toring and tutoring. the people He has created regardless of played the game,” Musicha said. “He was “It is really amazing to see,” Musicha their race, gender, or religion” exceptional in the way that he played the said. It requires, he said, a commitment game. There was something about the The giving spirit has far exceeded to intentional living that is centered on grace in which he carried himself.” Mvula’s own sphere of infl uence as Chi- helping others to understand the magni- Mvula’s fi eld antics landed him the somo Idea has worked to draw young tude of God’s love. tournament MVP trophy and inspired Malawian adults of privilege into servan- “It is our desire that those who encoun- the Musichas to launch the Chisomo thood in their country. ter The Chisomo Idea may experience the Idea, a multifaceted ministry that uses “We have tons of college mentors freedom of truly knowing their creator as soccer, youth development seminars, fl ocking to us to work for free because He pulls them into the turbulence of His tutoring, mentoring, after-school learn- they want to make a difference in their story,” he said. “Living lives of impact to ing centers, scholar-athlete initiatives, own country,” Musicha said. “We have know Him and make Him known is the pri- micro loans and other outreaches to created a culture where giving back mal essence of our movement.” ■
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28 REFRESHED | January 2014 Help Us Ring In What’s New “A Voice for Life” Celebrate the grand with opening of Turning Point PRC’s medical clinic Lila Rose Lila Rose is the founder and president of Sunday, January 19 Live Action, an undercover organization dedicated to exposing the threats against 1-4 p.m. vulnerable and defenseless women and children through the use of new media. See her latest work at: www.LiveAction.org
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Bethel Seminary San Diego Distinguished Lecturer Series January 24, 2014 Rev. Dr. Cheryl J. Sanders Cheryl J. Sanders has been the Senior Pastor of the Third Street Church of God in Washington, D.C. since 1997. She is also Professor of Christian Ethics at the Howard University School of Divinity. With Sunday, February 9 M.Div. and Th.D. degrees from Harvard Divinity 6:00 pm Doors open at 5:00 pm School, Sanders is widely published and has written Faith Bible Fellowship several books, including Ministry at the Margins. 9971 Mission Gorge Rd., Santee Behind Pacifi c Western Bank 12noon “Ministering with Jesus at the Margins” Simon Ivascu, Steven Ivascu and Wesley Pop, fl ed 7pm “Strength to Love: The Wisdom of Dr. Martin Luther King” Romania as teenagers. Being conscientious Chris- tians, they could not join the army because freedom Light refreshments will be served at both lectures. of worship was totally restricted. Refusing to join would result in imprisonment and persecution. Their Please RSVP to Mitchell Campbell death-defying journey to freedom from Romania to [email protected] or (619) 325-5227 Italy, including two weeks inside a locked container with no light, and not enough food and water, was fraught with danger and peril. Come, be inspired by their miraculous story. Bethel Seminary San Diego 6116 Arosa Street )NFO s San Diego, CA 92115 — A love offering will be received —
January 2014 | REFRESHED 29 al’s analysis
AL MENCONI
A hill worth dying on
The longer you’re a parent, the more What are the moral issues of life you are able to get out from under the parental you realize there are fewer and fewer not willing to compromise? Children will thumb. hills on which to die. push parents right to that limit, so they 5. Discuss reasonable guidelines with When I was in college, parents fought need to know their limits beforehand. your children. By discussing their opin- with their kids over hair length; now they When you fi nd the hills on which you are ions, you are helping them to learn how fi ght with them over saggy pants and willing to die, that means you are willing to think for themselves when you are not other issues that aren’t eternal. Why? to negotiate on every other decision. around. Now that I’m a parent, I realize par- 6. Decide which hills are worth dying ents simply want what they believe is Let’s evaluate the specifi c circum- on and allow the others to be open for discussion. A discussion doesn’t involve best for their children, and they are will- stances in this case: criticism or a lecture from the parent. ing to fi ght to make their children “do The mom has a wonderful 16-year-old 7. Discuss your concerns clearly with the right thing.” Not all of the hillside daughter. children. If they are still intent on read- skirmishes will have a dramatic plotline, The teen never gives her parents any ing the books, for instance, consider trouble. but they are still important and we need reading them fi rst. That way you can dis- The parents allow a limited variety of to be armed with the correct response. cuss actual concerns and insights instead entertainment choices. of making broad general criticisms. This The teen is upset with her can be a wonderful teaching opportunity. By discussing their opinions, mom because she won’t let her 8. Ask questions to discover how they read novels involving vampires. you are helping them to learn develop their opinions. For example, you can ask why a vampire story is appealing. how to think for themselves Without knowing the woman, 9. In this case, learn more about the her daughter or the daughter’s author of the books they wish to read. when you are not around. side of the story, I offered some Use the Internet to help you research. questions to help her process One parent contacted me about an The author may be sound in his or her her own response. These can be modifi ed worldview. For example, Frank Peretti, issue she was having with her 16-year- for any family situation. C. S. Lewis, and J. R. R. Tolkien all wrote old daughter over her choice of a book. 1. Parents don’t know if their child is books that included demons yet we can It serves as a good starting point for all obedient when they are placed on such trust their strong biblical worldview. parents who are dealing with issues as a short entertainment leash. Nor do you 10. Use your research as a springboard their children begin to exert some inde- know if they really want to be obedient. to compare the philosophies of books us- pendence. A hostile response such as this could be ing vampires with the truth of Scripture. The mother, who said they instilled a minor eruption of a volcano of emo- It is important to remember we are biblical values and limited her access to tions that have been brewing under the not raising our children to simply be secular entertainment, praised her model surface for a while. It‘s defi nitely a sign of obedient. We are raising them to develop teenager for never giving them any trou- a deeper need. character that will last through tough ble. But the girl was clearly upset when 2. Do you know how your children times. her mom refused to let her read a vampire actually feel about most spiritual issues? book, saying they were demonic in nature Is their Christianity based on their faith and not appropriate for Christians. or your faith? Al Menconi, is a In my response to the woman, I sug- 3. It is true that books involving vam- counselor, author, speaker, gested that she may have missed a won- pires may be inappropriate for a teenager husband and father. derful teaching opportunity during the but getting upset when they simply try to More parenting tips are encounter, but there was still time to re- express their opinion is wrong. available in his book, cover. First, it’s important to evaluate the 4. If parents get upset when children “RECONNECT: When situation. So in this case, it is appropriate express their opinion, the young people your kids are connected to ask if the daughter knows the hills are likely to keep their opinions to them- to everything but you.” Learn more at www. on which her parents are willing to die. selves and count the days when they are thechristianmusicchallenge.com.
30 REFRESHED | January 2014 purposeful parenting
MICHAEL FOUST
Go play outside: 7 keys to raising nature-loving kids
My parents likely didn’t set out com is a good guide for state and documentaries (such(su as Planet Earth) to raise a kid who wanted to be federal parks. NatureRocks.org has areare spectacular. Also,Al buy books and outdoors—it just came natural for great ideas on what families games that have nature themes. them. My dad had a garden, and my can do in their back- When he’s indoors,indoo often he’s think- mom “put up” everything that was yard.) inging about what’what’ss outdoors. harvested. I, of course, was expected 2. Be enthusi- 66.. Make it a hhabit to go outdoors to help, not only with the garden, astic. If we are each day with yyour kids. Even if but also with the beehives that my excited about it’s only 5 to 1100 minutes, it’s a father placed on our property near the outdoors, googoodd practice. Play ball or tag. the adjacent fields. We were outside our kids will fol- Ride bikes. ExExplorep the yard. If a lot. low our lead. your chchildi has been more I’m now a father, and I’m trying to It’s really not ofof an indoor kid, this instill into my three children an even that hard. riturituala eventually might greater love for nature than I had at That high changecha their outlook. their age. school sci- 7. Realize that But these are challenging times. A ence teacher there is a spiri- British survey showed that children who was excited tual component today spend 10 times more hours about astronomy or involved. God watching TV than they do playing trees or clouds was right: created that outdoors. Another poll showed that Nature is cool, and the sci- majestic moun- only 40 percent of children would ence behind everything is tain, that beauti- rather play outside than inside. fascinating. ful lake, and that Video games and electronics are a 3. Turn off the tele- wonderfulwon tree (right big culprit. Another is decreased open vision. Studies show outsideouu your door) for space in urban areas. I’ve begun read- that children who a reason. They are ing Richard Louv’s 2005 book, “Last watch too much TV alla to remind us that Child In The Woods,” which examines are more likely to be theret is a Creator—a how we can save our children from lazy, obese and have CreatorC who loves what he calls “Nature Deficit Dis- trouble focusing—and us.u This idea alone order.” His book has me wondering: less likely to make hash driven me. I What can we as parents do to keep good grades. Louv was likelik what Sally Lloyd our children from becoming indoor right when he wrote: TV JonesJon wrote in The hermits? steals time, while nature Jesus StorybookStoryb Bible: “God Our oldest child loves being out- “amplifies it.” created everythingevery in his world doors, and we think his two younger 4. Don’t buy a video to reflectreflect hhimim like a mirror—to siblings will, too. game system. My son is showshow us whatwhaa he is like, to Here are seven ideas that worked only 5, and I’m holding out helphelp us knowknow him, to make our for us, and just might work for you: as long as possible before I heartshearts sing.”sing.. 1. Understand that you don’t have even consider getting him one. to go to Yosemite or Yellowstone—and Besides, he can get his own game you don’t need a big yard. That small system when he goes to college. Michael Foust is the yard will work just fine. And if you 5. When indoors, focus on the father of three small don’t have that, visit that city or state outdoors. If your children watch TV, children, a writer and park down the road. Through the eyes guide them toward programs about editor, and blogs about of a child, that small yard and that nature and animals. Our 5-year-old parenting at www. tiny park are probably huge. Children has learned to love animals by watch- michaelfoust.com. don’t need a lot of room. (OhRanger. ing PBS’ Wild Kratts. The BBC’s nature
January 2014 | REFRESHED 31 on the money JANICE THOMPSON
Power up principle: The power of planning
The fi rst thing I do at my offi ce each perfect time to focus on our foundation: other dependent family members? What morning is “power up” my computer. planning and goal-setting. My husband can we do now to minimize the impact This tool has enormous capabilities that and I spend time toward the end of each this might have on our family later? add instant benefi ts and make my life year reviewing the past year and evaluat- Household: What kind of home more productive. Unless I use it, how- ing areas that need our intentional focus should we rent or buy? What’s the best ever, it’s just a dormant piece of equip- in the year ahead. We want to ensure mortgage for our needs? What addi- ment taking up space in my life. As a we are working together instead of just tional short- and long-term mainte- fi nancial planner, I can’t help but think hoping things will work out. The added nance and improvement needs should of all the signifi cant ways we can Power bonus of this time together is a healthier we consider? Up our fi nancial lives! I look forward Retirement: When do we plan to to sharing this series of Power Up Life has a way of presenting retire? What do we plan to retire to? fi nancial principles that will do just How should we save and invest? Are that: add instant benefi ts and extra interesting twists and turns. we maximizing all the tools available capabilities to things that would oth- to us? erwise lie dormant in our lives. marriage. We explore our perspectives, Lifestyle: How much should we al- The beginning of a new year is the work through differences, evaluate the locate for discretionary expenses like attainment of our goals, and make ad- entertainment, vacation, special events, justments as needed for the year ahead. etc.? If you are single, this process is equally Giving: How much would we like to “The People’s Choice” essential for you as you prepare for your give? To whom do we want to give? How long-term future as well. can we maximize our giving? Life has a way of presenting interest- This is by no means a comprehensive ing twists and turns. So for the inevi- list, but is a great starting point to begin table curve balls that come your way, try your goal setting. Draw your two circles, this exercise. Draw two circles and label address each category, and formulate a one Control and one Concern. There are plan for what is within your control. Fo- many things over which you have some cusing on a handful of well-thought-out Providing excellent service control and plenty over which you have strategic goals provides four key ben- and repairs since 1989 none! What you cannot control, place in efi ts: clarity to your thinking, meaning- Quality | Timely Repairs the concern circle, do your best to ad- ful direction for decisions, motivation Satisfi ed Customers dress the issue, and then trust God for to stick with the plan and the personal the outcome. What is within your con- satisfaction of seeing your dreams be- UÊ7iÊ7ÀÊÜÌ ÊÊÃÕÀ>ViÊ «>ià trol—therein lies the power of planning! come reality. Meaningful life planning UÊ-Ì>ÌivÌ iÀÌÊ ÃÊ,i«>ÀÊ/iV }Þ Here are some considerations to get is a Power Up tool that can get your new UÊÀiiÊ «ÕÌiÀâi`Ê ÃÌ>Ìià you started on making purpose-fi lled year off to the right start. decisions that signifi cantly impact your future. Debt: How much is OK? How can we Janice Thompson is a strategically reduce our debt? certifi ed fi nancial planner Savings: What should we be saving and founder of Strategic for? How much, how often, and how Financial Solutions Inc. Family owned and operated strategically should we be saving? A frequent speaker in by Curtis & Ann Duggan Family: What areas should we better fi nancial topics and Duggan’s Collision Center prepare for our family’s needs (educa- mentor for fi nancial 630 Grand Ave., Spring Valley tion, medical, clothing, insurance cover- professionals, she also serves on the board of age, etc.)? Do we need to physically or (619) 465-5655 directors for Kingdom Advisors. Learn more at www. fi nancially prepare for aging parents or sfsinconline.com.
32 REFRESHED | January 2014 marriage matters DAVID & LISA FRISBIE
Date night: Think outside the price
Go to that high-priced marriage you know it we’ve slipped away for our event this weekend—please do—and next $4 Brunch—we’re lost in another you’ll likely hear that you should “Go world. on a date night!” and that you should Come and fi nd us there if you want, “Do it regularly!” You may also be told but we may not notice you. that if you don’t have a date night— We’re lost in just us. Sometimes, your relationship is doomed. throwing caution to the wind, we even As busy family counselors who work leave our phones in the car—on pur- with marriages daily: We disagree. pose. Wow, is that irresponsible. What You don’t have to go on a date. if the world ends? What if lightning It doesn’t have to be at night. strikes the dog? Got it? Did we keep it simple Some days we just don’t care: We enough? crave each other. Here’s what really matters: Find a We sit there and talk, and there way to connect, just the two of you, aren’t any battery-operated interrup- and do it often enough to grow closer tions. None. in your relationship. Try this yourself, and feel free to If you’d like to do that, but you can’t improve on our basic concept. Drop us afford dinner and a movie, here is a a note and tell us what’s working for low-cost option that couples are us- you. Meanwhile never—not ever—let ing across North America and around the checking their e-mail, or arguing with a someone make you feel guilty because world. We call it the “$4 Brunch” and we friend. Here’s a surprising truth: You can you’re not rich enough to go on a date use it ourselves. So it’s counselor tested— have an intimate conversation in a coffee night. Shake off that guilt and wake up to and counselor approved. shop, mostly because nobody else is pay- a much cheaper reality. Here’s how it works: ing attention! You don’t need $40. Or $20. Or even As often as possible we sneak away to One of our favorite getaway locations $10. Starbucks or Panera or Caribou—or that is a nearby Barnes & Noble bookstore. You just need two people with one great little local place nearby—just for They set out pitchers of ice water, usually plan. Add in a small booth by the window coffee and conversation (coffee optional). with fresh lemons, and plenty of plastic and some lemony water—and you’re We purchase two cookies or two sliced- cups. We can have a really great $4 Brunch there. Talk and chat and dream and catch off muffi n tops, then pay for one cup of at B&N and never actually spend the $4. up. regular coffee. We also ask for one cup of Call us practical or thrifty if you’d like: Let the world go by, and just don’t water: Not fi zzy, not bottled, not French. We’re just cheap. notice it. Our total outlay for two cookies, one We sit there and chat, sometimes Be one as two. coffee, and one water? About four bucks. holding hands, just getting caught up For those of you who like to live large, with each other and how we’re feeling. go ahead and order that specialty cof- This isn’t the time to solve all the world’s Dr. David and Lisa fee with the foam and the froth and the problems, or fi x what’s wrong with the Frisbie serve together fl avors. But if you do—you’ve already kids, or work on those hurt feelings from as executive directors of spent your four bucks, and you don’t have last weekend. This is just pure and simple The Center for Marriage any cookies yet. You do understand that, couple connection time—slow down, sit and Family Studies in right? back, sip a brew, and relax. Del Mar. They are the We opt for plain coffee, plain water, Wow, it’s good for us when we do this. authors of dozens of two snacks, and one quiet table. We fi nd ourselves looking forward to it, articles and 25 books about marriage and family We sit in the corner and talk. We’re thinking about it, dreaming of those little life, including their recent book “The Soul-Mate often amazed that everyone around us sliced-off muffi n tops and that charm- Marriage: The Spiritual Journey of Becoming One” is busy updating their Facebook page, or ing coffee shop around the corner. Before (Harvest House Publishers).
January 2014 | REFRESHED 33 here’s to good health KIMBERLY RUBY
Your journey to vibrant health
A wise and highly respected dean tions,” created the R.E.S.T. process to making any dietary or exercise adjust- at my college also happened to be my support long-term, sustainable change. ments, seek their guidance fi rst. Enlist student government adviser. We worked Shandel has permitted me to adapt an accountability partner, a counselor, side-by-side with the other elected col- her corporate application of R.E.S.T. to a nutritionist or a support group. If you lege students, ensuring that year would a personal wellness and healthy habit really want something, you will fi nd a be the best year they would experience. model, which has the ability to yield way; if you don’t you will surely fi nd an Many of us had fi nancial hardships, lasting wellness results. Before we start, excuse. others health issues, and some academic though, unplug, turn-off, and move challenges. The dean, however, moti- away from all screens and focus. This Think long term: Ask yourself, vated every one of us to excel far beyond is your time to take a media fast! If it’s “What do I really want for long-term what we thought possible. His famous clarity you desire, you’ll need to quiet outcomes in my personal health jour- saying when we became discouraged your soul to optimize the benefi ts of this ney?” “What must I do on a daily, was “have an attitude of gratitude.” He process. weekly, monthly basis to achieve and would teach us to look up, taking the support my core values?” Determination focus off ourselves. Refl ect: Right now, as you’re reading and motivation fuel sustainable change. What a perfect way to begin a new this column, how do you feel physically? It’s also important to remember that year, by choosing your changes with a Do you remember a time when you had most people fail in permanent behavior grateful heart. As a certifi ed nutritionist more energy, your joints weren’t both- changes when they act as Lone Rangers. ering you, and you had more There you have it, REST but never fl exibility and balance? Are you retreat! Determination and motivation experiencing frustration be- Finally, be focused yet be fl exible. cause of your changing health? Change rarely happens without a few fuel sustainable change. All of these “truths” are called setbacks. When my patients confess their your factual reality. unhealthy behaviors, I remind them we with a compounding pharmacy—which always have another opportunity to re- prepares prescriptions based on a pa- Evaluate: Pen in hand, now begin to turn to what we really want for the long tients individualized needs—I’ve met write three to fi ve core values that are term. It starts today, one thought, one with thousands of patients faced with non-negotiable, priorities in your life. behavior, one victory at a time. every health opportunity imaginable. Examples: being present for your family, Over the coming months, I look for- I’ve observed how attitudes, family sup- spending quantity and quality time with ward to sharing my knowledge and ex- port and the ability to be fl exible have your spouse or loved-ones, staying out perience with you and if there’s a topic affected outcomes. of debt, work satisfaction, transitioning you are interested in, please email me at Specializing in weight management into new life opportunities. Then ask [email protected] and I may address it in with my patients, January is my favorite yourself, based on where your health a future column. time of year, People are eager to change situation is, “Am I able to honor my core and seek professional accountability values?” Do your daily health habits and expertise. I thrive in guiding my create confl ict or support wellness? You Kimberly Ruby, Certifi ed patients in a more vibrant, joyful way of cannot honor your core values if you are Nutritionist at University living life. Using visual props, illustra- not living in optimal health. Compounding Pharmacy, tions and acronyms has always been has been in the wellness popular with patients, allowing them Strategize the future: Here’s the industry for more than to grasp the concept that they can re- great news. In taking the fi rst step to 20 years. She has been create their own health! honestly evaluate your goals for 2014 facilitating one of the Lasting change begins with REST. you will be able to determine a strategy longest running weight management support Shandel Slaten, a successful executive for change, either in slow incremental groups in the nation, meeting weekly in the North coach who is retained by top business steps or in leaps. Naturally, your person- County for 10 years. Her health segments have owners to conduct “corporate interven- al family physician knows you best, so in appeared on several local news channels.
34 REFRESHED | January 2014 San Diego Christian College moves to new Santee campus San Diego Christian College, which Students and fac- has been renovating fi ve buildings it pur- ulty did not wait until chased in Santee’s Town Center, will hold the move to become its Open House Celebration on Jan. 20. involved with their The event will include viewings of the new hometown. Dur- campus buildings, live entertainment by ing the school’s annual its students, food and games. new student orienta- “SDC is excited about the opportuni- tion last fall, students ties that are available for us to connect partnered with Pathways Community vision. to and serve our community by utiliz- Church to work on three beautifi cation “For the fi rst time, we get to really ing the passions and expertise of our projects at three elementary campuses grow in so many ways,” said Robyann staff, faculty, and students,” said Dr. Paul in the Santee School District. Oakes, the student life offi ce manager. Ague, president of the college, which was Work has also begun in developing re- “It’s very exciting. It’s an opportunity to launched and housed by Shadow Moun- lationships with local businesses. establish our identity.” tain Community Church in El Cajon “This move means that the mission of The college’s exodus from Shadow since 1970. our college is still going and we are seek- Mountain will allow the demolition of When the campus opens it will do so ing to expand our ability to impact the several old structures used by the college. with classrooms, offi ces, a chapel, dining world for Christ for a long time to come,” In their place will be a 112,000-square- hall and a library, as well as its Heritage said alum Dan Lamm. foot Generations building, which will be Hall to honor alumni and donors. Future Faculty and staff said they welcomed used as a combined space for worship, plans include the completion of residen- the move as a way to expand the college’s classrooms and nursery. tial apartments and athletic facilities to house soccer, baseball, and softball fi elds. College offi cials announced in late 2011 their plans to purchase fi ve of the six buildings in Santee’s RiverView de- velopment, immediately north of the Santee Trolley Square Town Center. Riv- erView is a master-planned, mixed-use development designed to accommodate technology, research and development, along with professional offi ces housing and recreational facilities, though most of the development remained vacant af- ter construction. At that time, college offi cials estimated that the total cost for the 55,000 square feet of space, including furnishings, fi x- tures, technology infrastructure and tran- sition expenses to be between $10 million and $12 million. Updated fi gures were not provided. A cornerstone of the project is creat- ing space that can be used for commu- nity partnerships. “Once our athletic facilities are built, we plan to partner with the community to maximize the impact our athletic fa- cilities can have to athletes of all ages,” said Robert Jensen, vice president for ad- vancement and administration.
January 2014 | REFRESHED 35 inspired living
DAVID JEREMIAH
Security system: A hope that endures
Suppose you made a million dollars gling to pay their bills within a few tern for our own resurrections. Because per year. Would that set you up for life? years of their last game. How can that He lives, we will live also. Would it give you fi nancial security be? John’s Gospel drives this home. At for the future? Well, apparently not if The two biggest culprits, according the end of his Gospel, John stated his you’re a professional athlete. According to the reports, are divorces and jobless- purpose in writing it—that we might to a report in Investment News, 78 per- ness. Many former athletes also cite the believe in Christ and have eternal life cent of NFL players are bankrupt or un- social pressures of trying to sustain a (John 20:31). He similarly ended his der fi nancial stress within two years of luxurious lifestyle. Others fall prey to little letter of 1 John by telling us he retirement. Sports Illustrated similarly friends and family members wanting had written it that we might know we reports that 60 percent of NBA players them to invest in unwise ventures. have eternal life (1 John 5:13). Through- are in serious fi nancial trouble within It’s not enough fi ve years of retirement. to have a job that Knowing what some professional simply takes care of …we know by hard reality there’s athletes make, we’re astounded to learn today’s needs. Some- not much security in our world or its that many of them will end up strug- how we need to man- age wisely for the economy. We don’t know what a day future. Many of today’s will bring forth. companies offer retirement, investment and insurance out his writing, John used the phrases “eternal life” and “everlasting life” 23 benefi ts that help ease our minds re- times. For example, Jesus told us in John garding the future. One insurance com- A nonprofi t ministry providing 10:26-29: “My sheep hear My voice, pany even uses two upturned palms and I know them, and they follow Me. Christian to assure us that we’re in good hands And I give them eternal life, and they when we’re in their care. Yet we know professional counseling shall never perish; neither shall anyone by hard reality there’s not much secu- snatch them out of My hand. My Father, resources to churches rity in our world or its economy. We who has given them to Me, is greater s 0ROFESSIONAL #OUNSELING 3ERVICES INCLUDE don’t know what a day will bring forth. than all; and no one is able to snatch #HILD !DOLESCENT AND !DULT 4HERAPY Riches can disappear in a moment. Jobs them out of My Father’s hand.” )NDIVIDUAL AND 'ROUP 4REATMENT vanish. Savings and investments can 0RE -ARRIAGE #OUNSELING The future just doesn’t get any more turn sour. Stocks decline. Economies -ARRIAGE AND &AMILY #OUNSELING secure than that! crash. As Proverbs 27:24 says, “Riches s 3EMINARS #ONFERENCES are not forever, nor does a crown endure s 2ELATIONSHIP AND 0ASTORAL 4OOLS to all generations.” s !RTICLES $EVOTIONALS "OOK -ATERIALS Dr. David Jeremiah, As Christians, we don’t depend on senior pastor of Shadow the world for ultimate security. For us, 16 Convenient locations Mountain Community the eternal God is our refuge, and un- Church in El Cajon, is the derneath are the everlasting arms. We founder of Turning Point, Rev. Donald W. Welch have a hope that endures; for when Je- a ministry committed to 0H$ ,-&4 s -&# President and Founder, sus comes into our lives, He comes with providing Christians with 3KYLINE #HURCH #OUNSELING 0ASTOR abiding security. He not only died to sound Bible teaching relevant to today’s changing Call 619-858-3105 forgive our sins; He rose from the dead times through radio and television, the Internet, live to give us eternal life. His resurrection events, and resource materials and books. Learn www.EnrichingRelationships.org supplies the power, provision and pat- more at www.davidjeremiah.org.
36 REFRESHED | January 2014 marketplace
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January 2014 | REFRESHED 37 that’s life!
JOANNE BROKAW
The trouble with technology
I recently got a glimpse of the “House door is open.” of Tomorrow” on a TV show about home I’m not sure that’s very convenient. design and technology. While Judy Jet- At the risk of stating the obvious, I can’t son’s kitchen may seem like the stuff close the door until I get home. Now, of science fi ction, according to people I’m going to be worrying throughout who know about these things, it’ll be dinner if my overpriced half-gallon of here before you know it. Introducing the all natural, organic ice cream is melting home that virtually runs itself. into a pool on the kitchen fl oor or if the Walk in the front door, and the house cat has crawled into the fridge for a fe- greets you by name and initiates a wel- line buffet of leftover chicken. come program, complete with preset I’d rather be ignorant and deal lighting and temperature controls. In with the problem when I get home. the kitchen, built-in computer technol- By then, if I’m lucky, the dog will have ogy allows you to input a list of ingre- licked up the ice cream and it won’t dients; the kitchen will supply a recipe, displayed Remember the good old days, when it right on your kitchen “Good evening, this is your took less time to crank out paper towels counter. Forget those than it takes to jump around in front of sticky recipe cards. When refrigerator. I’m calling to inform the automatic sink trying to get the wa- you’re done, just turn the ter to turn on? Don’t get me wrong. I’m counter off. you that my door is open.” especially grateful for technology like The microwave comes email, text messaging and cell phones matter that the cat ate the leftovers. with a barcode reader; scan the popcorn that enable me to keep in touch with bag and your kernels are popped per Dinner will already be thawed for to- friends and family around the globe. But Orville’s instructions. Everything oper- morrow. if I have to chat up my machines as well, ates either automatically or on voice I’m not sure how to defi ne this new maybe someone could program my re- command, and it’s all designed to make personal relationship with my ma- frigerator to call my car when we’re out your life easier. chines. Apparently my car can now send of milk so the car can print out a shop- There’s even a refrigerator that will me an email when its oil is low or the ping list when I get to the grocery store. call you when someone has left the battery is about to die. If we’re going to That way, I won’t have to stand in the fridge door open. be so chummy, why only email me when produce aisle trying to remember why If the fridge is so high tech, why there’s a problem? Why not drop me a I’m there. doesn’t it just close the door itself? line now and then, just to say hello? That, my friend, would be technology It’s bad enough that parents can’t Technology is supposed to make our designed to make my life easier. get a night out without the kids call- lives easier, but there are times when ing a hundred times to complain that it’s faster to do things the old-fashioned someone is watching MTV without per- way. Anyone who has used an automatic Award-winning freelance mission, or that someone is breathing paper towel dispenser in a public rest- writer Joanne Brokaw someone else’s air and had better stop room knows what I’m talking about. You spends her days dreaming before someone gets it. Now the refrig- can wave your wet hands repeatedly in of things she’d like to erator calls with problems, too? front of the little red light until it spits do but probably never Let’s say I’m out to dinner. I’m relax- out a piece of towel too small to dry a will— like swimming ing, enjoying time with my husband and gerbil, but by the time you’ve accumu- with dolphins, cleaning friends, when all of the sudden my cell lated enough toweling, your hands are the attic and someday overcoming the trauma phone rings. already dry from all of the waving—al- of elementary school picture day. She lives with “Good evening, this is your refrigera- though your sleeves are soaked from the two dogs, a cat, six chickens and one very patient tor. I’m calling to inform you that my dripping water. husband. Learn more at www.joannebrokaw.com.
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January 2014 | REFRESHED 39 40 REFRESHED | January 2014