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1 THE NEWSPAPER OF THE UNIVERSITY OF WATERLOO ENGINEERING SOCIETY Volume 26 Issue 5 | Wednesday, March 30, 2005 http://iwarrior.uwaterloo.ca/

WPIRG vote cancelled Student-built robots battle in Both campaigns oppose decision IRON WARRIOR STAFF statement on behalf of the refer- FIRST Robotics Competition endum committee declaring the Following a series of complaints referendum to be void. Voting to the referendum committee last was halted Monday morning, and week, the WPIRG referendum the online ballot was removed. was abrubtly cancelled on Both sides of the campaign Monday. have expressed opposition to the Students had been expecting decision to halt the referendum. to vote Monday and Tuesday on The yes campaign stated that the question of whether the cur- “our posters were not taken rent $4.75 per term WPIRG fee down, because to take them down should be terminated. Instead, the would be unfair, especially con- online election page was sidering that the ruling is still in removed and replaced with an appeal.” announcement that the referen- The no campaign, meanwhile, dum had been cancelled due to sought to reinstate the referendum non-compliance by the yes cam- to bring closure to the issue which paign with a decision by the ref- has been dragging on for as long erendum committee. as six years. In an email to the ref- The cancellation stems from erendum committee, they wrote an decision last Thursday that dis- “removing the ability of students qualified the yes campaign for to vote on this important issue affixing a “yes” poster on top of a will leave the question with no “no” poster. The yes committee indication of a real answer.” was ordered to remove all posters The Federation of Students within 24 hours. Nicholas Weber, has indicated that it will not uni- chairman of the yes committee laterally restart the referendum. refused to remove the posters, The decision rests with the PHOTO BY CHRIS HUGHES. COPYRIGHT © UNIVERSITY OF WATERLOO, GRAPHICS. REPRINTED WITH PERMISSION. and immediately appealed the appeals committee, but with the minds and metal that was the since 1992. Teams of high school decision. academic term drawing to a FIRST Robotics Competition. students, usually sponsored by As the posters were not close, it is unlikely that any defin- Indeed, it was a battle of epic pro- some science-, technology-, or removed, Chief Returning itive resolution to this issue will portions that would pit mechani- engineering-related company, Officer Brandon Sweet issued a be reached anytime soon. cal masterworks against each will design and build a semi- DAN ARNOTT other in a quest for glory, fame, autonomous robot to perform 2A ENVIRO and a trip to Atlanta for the various competitive tasks. nationals. The pits and machine shop Elec student prepares n Thursday, March 24, high FIRST, For Inspiration and opened Thursday morning in the Oschool students from all Recognition in Science and PAC, as the teams streamed in across Ontario and even various Technology, a not-for-profit orga- with their creations. After prac- to defy gravity locations in the United States nization whose goals are made tice rounds and seeding matches study the effect of varying gravita- descended upon the University of clear in its name, has been run- Continued on page 9 tional pull on the human vision in Waterloo, for the meeting of ning the Robotics competition See FIRST a specially-converted passenger plane, often used for astronaut training, in Bordeaux, France. The CINDY BAO aircraft can simulate weightless- End-of-school predictions 3A ELECTRICAL ness for up to 25 seconds by flying be a stinker. The trailers for a ripoff!”. The domination of in a roller coaster pattern. Phantom Menace and Attack of Japanese cars will continue, hat will you do for the sum- The team, which includes two the Clones were really good and including the much anticipated Wmer? Move to a rather dis- students in medicine, is intending tantalizing, but become remem- 2006 Honda Civic. Okay, I am tant and probably unfamiliar place to investigate if human’s peripher- bered for such classics as “Jar- the only one excited by that for your co-op? Sit in a lecture al vision will change under differ- SUNG HON WU Jar”, bad acting, and cheesy underpowered subcompact car, hall, while hoping for a lazy day in ent gravitational conditions. The 4B COMPUTER teenage temper tandrums. I saw but I am cheap and it is really the sun? For Benjamin Sanders of setup involves two mechanical the trailer for Return of the Sith, good when you have bad parking 2007 Electrical class, it will be arms which will swing from the t’s the last issue of the term, so and wow, it was the best trailer skills. “the chance of a lifetime” to ride back of the test subject’s head Iits time for this writer to put his out of all three movies, therefore I 3. Marijuana will become the Vomit Comet. sideways towards the front. Just as reputation on the line and make conclude it is going to be worst legalized. Despite my feelings, I Sanders and his three team- they enter the peripheral vision of some predictions. As I look at my then the other two. Despite that, can see where the trend is going mates, Farron Blanc from Queens, the participant, the angle will be crystal ball, I see all of the fol- the movie is going to make hun- and that marijuana is viewed as Meghan Grant from McGill and recorded with great precision. lowing happening by 2010. Why dreds of millions of dollars as I “cool”. Personally, I cannot Jeeshan Chowdhury from the While sounding not so compli- 2010? Only because anyone read- and millions of other people will understand a society that con- University of Alberta, were select- cated in the earthly environment, ing this article will have graduat- dutifully sit through two hours of demns tobacco and smoking as ed by the European Space Agency much more considerations have to ed by then, so no one can actually torture. worse then any of the seven sins as the finalists of its 8th Annual be given to a cabin where every- check if any of them become true! 2. American cars are still yet professes an addictive drug Student Parabolic Flight program. thing will float while the experi- So here are my serious (and not so going to suck. GM will continue like marijuana as cool. I chal- For two weeks in July, the team Continued on page 4 serious) predictions: to be known as “we’ll give you Continued on page 8 will conduct their experiment to See SPACE 1. Star Wars III is going to $3000 to buy our car, and still it’s See PREDICTIONS 2 Wednesday, March 30, 2005 Letter from the editor Unfortunately, this is more representative be seen roaming the halls of the engineer- of the interests and opinions of the stu- ing buildings seeking out victims to The Newspaper of the University of dents who submit opinion articles to the answer the Iron Inquisition question. Waterloo Engineering Society newspaper than the actual editorial policy To the other writers: Katherine, Neal, of the newspaper. While I would like to Andrew, Francis, Chun, Alicia, Jay, Huy, Editor-in-Chief JAMES SCHOFIELD always present both sides of an argument, Ian, Michael, Edward, Sung Hon, and James Skofield EDITOR-IN-CHIEF there is sometimes nobody willing to LowRider, thank you for all that you’ve write the other side. contributed. Without your articles, there Assistant Editor ell, here it is, the final issue of The The WEEF issue is certainly some- would be no paper. There have also been Dan Arnott WIron Warrior for this term. It’s been thing worth discussing, but it is difficult a number of other students who have sub- a great experience being editor-in-chief, to have a meaningful discussion with an mitted an occasional article throughout Photo Editor and thanks to some great help from my anonymous group who communicates the term. They also deserve thanks for John Olaveson staff, it was a much less traumatic experi- only through posters. adding their unique contributions to the ence than I had expected. I even managed newspaper. Layout Editor to avoid spending a night sleeping on the There are many people who have made And without people to distribute the Gabriel Chan couch in the office. the production of this newspaper bear- paper, nobody would read IW. Thanks to Before I get into thanking my staff, able. Dan Arnott, my assistant editor, has Richard Li, our distribution manager, for Technical Editor I’d like to take a few moments to detour been immensely helpful in every aspect ensuring that every issue was distributed [Vacant] into a some comments about the purpose of the production of the paper. He has all across campus, and to all the other of this newspaper. There has been some- amazed me with the speed at which he staff who helped with distribution. Webmaster what of a recurring controversy over the learned to do layout, and has been single- There are some things that could have Cindy Bao past two terms, as students opposed to handedly proofreading most of the con- gone more smoothly in the production of WEEF, the Engineering Endowment tent you see before you. When I was very the newspaper. Our proofreading was Advertising Manager Fund, have placed posters throughout the sick during the production weekend for poorly organized this term, and as a [Vacant] engineering builders, only to have them issue 4, Dan stepped up to fill what I was result, some obvious errors that should torn down. The WEEF director then gen- unable to do, ran a meeting for me, and have been caught managed to slip through Distribution Manager erally dedicates a portion of his report to stayed up late to finish off the issue while the cracks. On the positive side, I’ve been Richard Li refuting the facts presented in the poster, I went home to recuperate. Dan will be slowly making some tweaks to the overall and surely enough, new posters will go up taking over as editor-in-chief next term, look of the paper, and would like to think Offstream Editor-in-Chief a short time later. and I have no doubt that he is more than that it’s looking somewhat more polished David Yip These individuals have had more than capable of handling the job. I can only now. ample opportunity to legitimately voice hope that the exec will be as kind to him For anyone interested in working on their criticisms of WEEF—for example, as they have been to me in submitting The Iron Warrior next term (in Fall 2005), Staff by showing up at the annual general their reports (mostly) on time. online applications for editorial board meeting and articulating their position. I Gabriel Chan was layout editor, and positions are now available on the Katherine Chiang am convinced that they have no desire to has also contributed a tremendous amount EngSoc web site at Neal Damgaard actually step forward and try to effect to the paper this term. Not only did he http://www.engsoc.uwaterloo.ca. Please Francis Hope some change, and are intent on running regularly send in tons of articles and then also take a look at the information on Chun Lam around placing posters anonymously in come in to to intricately lay them all out, page 11 of this issue, which gives more Jay Liu the middle of the night, and then com- but he conscripted half of the 2A Systems details on the responsibilities associated Quoc Huy T. Le plaining when said posters are removed. I class into writing articles for IW. I’m sure with each of the positions. If you’d just Ian Leung would like to make it clear that if the stu- Gab could fill a full 32 pages if I gave like to write for IW, but don’t have any Richard Li dent(s) responsible for these anti-WEEF him the chance, but unfortunately we only interest in taking on a huge committment, LowRider posters would like to compose an article have 16 pages to work with. you’re always free to drop by a weekly Christine McCullough and put his/her/their name(s) on it, The Cindy Bao was webmaster, and did a meetings on Mondays—stay tuned for Kevin Quan Iron Warrior is, and always has been, great job of consistently updating the web more information in the coming term. Michael Simoes more than willing to publish it. site with each new issue, even when the Edward Tan While The Iron Warrior is the official fire in CPH put us out of our office for the Sung Hon Wu newspaper of the Engineering Society, better part of a week. Many of our readers Questions? Comments? our mandate is to provide a forum for are off-stream, or not even students at thought provoking and informative arti- UW, so the web edition of the newspaper We welcome letters and feedback Contributors cles. (Read it for yourself, it’s right down is crucial in reaching those readers. Aside from all our readers. Please email us at: there in the masthead.) We are sometimes from working on the web site, Cindy has Joachim D’Costa criticized for being too one-sided, and in also been faithfully submitting a series of [email protected] Andrew Dodds some cases this may be true. regular columns each week, and can often Ken Hanes David Johnson Karim Lallani Tom Lee Alicia Liu Kristen Yee Loong Parisa Mahdian Kevin Po Andrea Rayner Neil Rittenhouse Mike Spendlove Kirk Steele Taneem A. Talukdar

The Iron Warrior is a forum for thought provoking and informative articles published by the Engineering Society. Views expressed in The Iron Warrior are those of the authors and do not necessarily reflect the opinions of the Engineering Society. The Iron Warrior encourages submissions from stu- dents, faculty and members of the university commu- nity. Submissions should reflect the concerns and intellectual standards of the university in general. The author's name and phone number should be included. All submissions, unless otherwise stated, become the property of The Iron Warrior, which reserves the right to refuse publication of material which it deems unsuitable. The Iron Warrior also reserves the right to edit grammar, spelling and text that do not meet university standards. Authors will be notified of any major changes that may be required. Mail should be addressed to The Iron Warrior, Engineering Society, CPH 1327, University of Waterloo, Waterloo, Ontario, N2L 3G1. Our phone number is (519) 888-4567 x2693. Our fax number is (519) 725-4872. E-mail can be sent to [email protected] Wednesday, March 30, 2005 3 This is the end, my B-sock friends, the end heights with your wit and misspelling and There was this one time when I co- good man. Well done bus driver. Was this run on sentences. Thank you for keeping oped at the world’s largest car maker. They Kadillac a model from 1964 painted the IW cool and adding much value to not gave me this sweet azz Kadillac to cruise Candy Red with White Walls? Didn’t only this newsprint you hold as you sit on around in for the day. I was pimpin’. I think so. If you go out, you had better go the can, but to the Faculty of Engineering even burned this cd with all kinds of gang- out in style. You have done well young LOWRIDER at UW. I mean it MM. Enough of the sob- ster Kadillac songs. I was a singing “Nick one. Keep it Low. 4B CHEMICAL bing whiny crap already. nack paddy whack de block riding —LowRider How does it feel to finally be ringed? Kadiallac” all day long. Can you feel the P.S. Good luck to all you grads. Keep the Dear LowRider, What do all the retired LowRiders do in all groove? Waterloo name proud. What am I going to do without your their spare time? Do you ever hang out I had to show all my buddies this sick column? It's been part of my life for slight- with those groupie fan club chicks in their machine. I drove four hours to show off Have a problem? Need advice? ly over six months! I know that there is a old age? I look forward to retirement my ride that wasn’t really mine. I started Email LowRider at: new LowRider, but he's a Systems guy. someday. So close yet so far away. doing crazy donuts in a parking lot. I was [email protected] What if there isn't even a fifth issue of the —_LR_ laying insane amounts IW for you to publish in? Can you say any- of rubber. The asphalt thing that will make it easier to forget you, Dear _LR_, trembled with fear. I or would you at least write in occasionally Well well well. If it isn’t my worthy was hanging out the as an alumni? If that's not possible, I hope successor. What’s with the underscores? window of the car try- you tell me WHY SYSTEMS???? Probably some kind of new age thing that ing not to die of rubber WHY??? What about the history of LR?? I wouldn’t get anyways. As for your miss- smoke inhalation —Angry Chemmie and MTT spelling, and run on sentence, jab, I must yelling swear words PS: How was IRS? say that I do not appreciate that kind of that would make little remark, and that I think I have really good children cry. Dear Angry, English skills, in writing, and reading, or Just as I was cli- Let me address your anti-Systemetic speaking, for an engineer, you will find maxing, one of the tires view first. I understand where you’re com- that to be very, important if you ever want blew and took with it ing from. Chemmies are by far the coolest, a real job with responsibilities, and impor- half of the bumper and end of story. This guy will be good, tance, after your graduation. So there. fender. I crapped my though. Otherwise, feel free to beat him My ring feels good. It is fun to tap on pantaloons. So then I up. stuff, such as tables, walls or a beer bottle. drove back on the As for forgetting me, it will happen in My favourite thing to tap it against would donut spare with my time. You know, nobody around these days have to be The TOOL. You’ll get to try tail between legs and remembers the LowRider before me. By that in a couple of years. bumper scraping the the time you get to third year or so, you Sometimes we have LowRider 401. won’t even remember me, and there will reunions. You’ll be invited in due time. I I told the big guys be yet another LowRider writing for the will keep in touch with a few of the fan that sit at desks and do IW every week. club chicks, for business (read child sup- nothing that I was So, keep practicing your impressive port stuff) or pleasure (read passionate doing “acceleration nautical skills, never miss an OT, and have booty calls) or advice (read old-school tests in a parking lot”. fun learning circuits this summer. LowRider advice). Can you believe they —LR Thank you for all of the praise. It is bought that crap? It PS: Sorry if I lead you astray in calculus at well-deserved. I’ll leave the next letter to was amazing. The all. You guys were a good class. you as I ride off into the sunset that is funny thing was, they graduation. never invited me Dear LR, —Matt Moore, formerly back… To this day I I think I have finally revealed your known as LowRider don’t know why. secret identity. If I remember correctly, Do you think I’m you were the crazy guy running around Dear New LowRider, cool? IRS a yellow bandana with IRS written on I think you are by far the coolest —Maniac Mechie the front and Lightning Bolts on the side. human being walking the planet. I just P.S. When I dance at Very nice. I think you had some kind of wanted to get that out into the open and off bars I pretend to drive a super cool moustache / beard thing hap- my hairy chest. You light my fire man. bus. pening. Since you are the top of the food chain at You have served the IW reading public Waterloo, I have a confession to make Dear Smoke Show, well during your time in office. This god- before I graduate. I want to tell you a story You redefine forsaken column has been taken to new so that you think I’m really hip. kickin’ the tires my World’s worst humanitarian crisis because the world seems to need constant genocide. If the militants are not systemat- with military power, economic sanctions reminder. ically [literally] fucking their victims, they on Sudan, or both. This should not be the And the world seems to constantly for- are systematically emptying their time for evil to triumph as no one decides get! It happened on a smaller scale in South Kalashnikov rifles into the innocent mass- to do anything. The world does not need Africa and Rhodesia, it happened on larger es. The worst thing is that even the another holocaust. GABRIEL CHAN scale in Cambodia, Rwanda, Bosnia, and Sudanese security forces are allegedly pro- “War may sometimes be a necessary evil. 2A SYSTEMS Kosovo, and it is now happening in viding military support for the Janjaweed. But no matter how necessary, it is always Sudan.....since 2003. And the world has done nothing. an evil, never a good. We will not learn “The only thing necessary for the triumph The UN, prior to the Aceh Earthquake, Well, not absolutely nothing. WHO how to live together in peace by killing of evil is for good men to do nothing.” called the Darfur conflict the world's worst and various NGOs have risked their per- each other's children.” —Edmund Burke current humanitarian crisis: the world sonnel in Darfur to assist the refugees all —James Earl Carter (former US President) This statement is well-suited to many situ- response to the tsunami was arguably the they can. UNSC has finally decided to ations. If you see a theft and do not report fastest in history, yet the slaughter in Sudan send a peacekeeping force, although they it, you are letting the bad guy win. On a has been going on for more than 2 years aren’t deployed in the Darfur region. larger scale, the holocausts of Nazi Europe and no one has done anything about it. However, without any real political action Boggan and Imperial Japan were largely ignored The Darfur crisis is no secret to anyone. against the Sudanese government, bandage until they became too large of a problem to Unless you were living under a rock for the solutions will not stop this holocaust. Burgers! be ignored anymore. last two years, it should not surprise you The United Nations has been largely Holocausts should be a thing of the that 300 000 people have already died, 1.8 frozen as its member states squabble over Boggan Burgers are now being sold by past; cruelty not matched by any other million people have been driven from their the American invasion of Iraq. With the the 2007 Concrete Toboggan team. species in the world should never be repeat- homes, countless ethnic black Africans members of the Security Council at logger- Every Tuesday and at every OT from ed. And we are constantly reminded: have been systematically raped and mur- heads, not even a UN resolution condemn- now until the race in February 2007, China, Korea, and south-east Asia never dered by government-backed Arab militias. ing the goose-crap situation on university Boggan Burgers will be on sale for $2. shut up about what the Japanese did in That’s right, systematically. The campuses could be passed. Please show your support for the '07 World War II; many Jewish groups never Janjaweed militants may not have crema- This should be a time when countries team by buying a tasty burger to hesitate to raise the issue of anti-Semitism tion chambers, gassing facilities, and con- sideline their national interests and focus safisty your hunger. Beer and burgers at almost any given opportunity. For very centration camps, but they don’t need on the crisis at hand. This should be the go well together! good reason, they never stop reminding, sophisticated equipment to commit mass time when the UN intervenes in Darfur 4 Wednesday, March 30, 2005 Death Sentence for Schiavo? Space: Vomit Comet this are huge—since it is impossible to Continued from cover an ultrasound device on the aircraft. directly determine the wishes of a person of ment is taking place. For example, the par- Sanders first became interested in space minimal consciousness by communicating ticipant will be strapped down to remain while on a canoe trip in Northwest Ontario with them, how can one conclude at all that stationary. The engineering design of the in the summer of 2000. Observing the stars they wish to die? On the other hand, many team’s apparatus is mentored by Professor without the pollution of the city lights DAN ARNOTT see it as an act of mercy to let Terri die, Gorbet from the ECE Department. inspired Sanders to pursue the dream of 2A ENVIRONMENTAL especially since the feeding tube has been Canadian astronaut, Dr. Dave Williams, becoming an astronaut. Four years ago, removed several times, which will undoubt- who has a background in the medical field, when he first met Marc Garneau, the first n Friday, March 18, doctors removed edly be hard on Terri’s system and may is supervising the team and he will likely Canadian astronaut in space, he gave him a Othe feeding tube from Terri Schiavo, a cause further damage. Plus, the fact that even fly with them this summer. He met list of things to do to prepare for a career in severely brain-damaged and paralyzed someone is being systematically starved Sanders at a conference in the University, the field. One of the items on the list was the woman in Tampa, Florida, essentially con- and dehydrated to death in a modern civi- held by the Waterloo Space Society, of Parabolic Flight program. It also includes demning her to death by starvation and lized society is absolutely barbaric to many. which Sanders currently serves as the pres- scuba diving, grad school, etc. Sanders kept thirst. Amidst the legal battle between her It takes nearly two weeks for somebody in a ident. the list in his wallet. parents and her husband, the question has state of minimal consciousness to pass The European Space Agency each year As for the future, Sanders is looking into come up time and again: Is this really what away once their feeding tube has been selects thirty teams of students for the the opportunity to study at the Space she would have wanted? removed, a long period of suffering in any Parabolic Flight program, most of which are University in France. The school offers a Schiavo suffered brain damage in 1990, case. European students. Sanders and his team- one-year masters program to learn about all and has since lived in what is considered by Whether or not you agree or disagree mates, being the only Canadian team that aspects of space and it is targeted to a broad doctors to be a permanent vegetative state. with the decisions of those who decide Terri made the cut this year, had to beat out some range of fields, such as space laws, engi- For the last seven years, Terri’s parents Bob Schiavo’s fate, there is no doubt that this tough competition. To maximize their neering among others. and Mary Schindler have been at odds with case represents a defining issue of our time, chances, the team members worked dili- At the current time, Sanders and his her husband Michael Schiavo as to whether a precedent with far-reaching implications. gently on two proposals. The other one teammates are having their two-week pre- or not Terri should live or die. Her husband Will this decision affect when, where, and focuses on how the locations of internal liminary training and a design review at insists that before the brain damage how we may find ourselves on our organs change with gravity, but it wasn’t ESA’s parabolic flight headquarters just occurred, Terri had expressed to him on deathbed? picked because of the limitation of having outside Amsterdam. several occasions that she would wish to die if she ever became severely incapacitated. The Schindlers disagree, maintaining that the decision to end Terri’s life should not Gender imbalance a ticking time bomb depend on some alleged comments made deeply-rooted traditions favouring males the local village, so they purchase them years ago. They also insist that Terri is not have caused a disproportionate gender dis- through illegal smugglers. Some are not vegetative, but in a ‘state of minimal con- aster in those countries (i.e there is a say- lucky enough to get an imported wife, so sciousness’ and may recover eventually. ing in Hindi urging women to bath in milk they go look for work. And not surpris- The ensuing legal battle has resulted in for baby boys). This translates to a great ingly, the competition makes Jobmine look many lengthy appeals—the Supreme Court GABRIEL CHAN percentage of the country will be unable to like a joke. Unable to find work, they of the United States has rejected a request 2A SYSTEMS DESIGN marry. Not only did the tsunami add to the resort to criminal activities to make a liv- from the Schindlers to re-connect Terri’s problem, it also widowed many men as ing. But imagination is not needed for this feeding tube, a decision which only increas- study by Oxfam International reveals well. scenario; this is becoming the reality. es the already-heightened sense of drama Amore women were killed in the Aceh So what is wrong with a country full of Restless young males may cause con- surrounding the situation. The Schiavo case Earthquake and Tsunami than men. In bachelors and single males? Firstly, the siderable social unrest and instability. is being hotly debated by various political some areas, three to four times as many nation will run out of alcohol because of Widowed males may have considerable and religious groups, some of whom feel females as males were killed. In some vil- all those bachelor parties and keggers… difficulty bringing up their children, tradi- that it is an act of mercy, some of whom see lages, only women were lost. Oxfam But in all seriousness, a surplus of males in tionally the women’s role in these regions. it as nothing more than murder. George W. International conducted their research on any society is a huge problem and a poten- Thus, Oxfam is calling on aid agencies and Bush even commented on the situation, say- the Indonesian province of Aceh, the tially deadly ticking time-bomb. governments to do something about this ing that he was ‘disappointed’ with the deci- Cuddalore district of India, and took data That was quite a mouthful, but imagine issue, as ignoring it would be courting dire sion to disconnect Terri’s feeding tube. from emergency camps across Sri Lanka. this scenario: a group of young men are consequences. A ticking time-bomb that The ethical implications of a case like Already in most Asian countries, hunting for wives, but cannot find any at has just ticked faster.

Sandford Fleming Foundation E2 3322, ext 4008, sff@engmail www.eng.uwaterloo.ca/~sff

The Sandford Fleming Foundation final debate was held on March 11. The winning team was from Systems Design Engineering consisting of Geoff Rawle and James Gannon. Second place was Electrical and Computer Engineering represented by Zac Balson and Matt Strickland. Wednesday, March 30, 2005 5

POINT VS. COUNTERPOINT Should WPIRG receive student funding? something that they don’t necessarily EFF, ACLU, et cetera, et cetera. WPIRG is support? Well, they don’t have to. That’s no more noble than any of these. right, WPIRG fees are fully refundable, And look how these organizations sur- just like WEEF. “Well, how come I never vive: oh my, they survive without UW stu- knew about it?” you ask. Let’s face it- dents contributing refundable fees! DAN ARNOTT you’re in University. You’re responsible JAY LIU This is my point: there is no reason for 2A ENVIRONMENTAL for your own education. Your profs aren’t 4B COMPUTER students to be forced to pay into the coffers going to spoon-feed you, and why should of WPIRG. WPIRG keeps saying that the y time you read this, UW students WPIRG? It’s as easy as a click of a mouse icture this: You visit the Ministry of fee is fully refundable, but that misses the Bwill have voted in a referendum that to find out when you get your money PTransportation to renew your driver's point: it does not matter if it is refundable. will define the identity of our university. back—why more anti-WPIRG students licence. When you are about to pay, you The problem is the fee is forced upon An important decision has come to the can’t do that is beyond me. Maybe they’re notice a $5 charge for "Liberals". You ask every student in the first place. table- will WPIRG, the Waterloo Public afraid that if they ever went to the the nice employee behind the counter what And WPIRG may say that since the fee Interest Research Group, continue to be WPIRG website (www.wpirg.ORG— it is, and she tells you it is a fee that goes is fully refundable, it makes it all good. supported by student fees? Let’s cut to the don’t be deceived by the false one), they to the Liberal Party of Canada. The party is But the fact is—and WPIRG knows this chase- of course it should. And here’s might get interested in the kind of stuff doing wonderful things for Canadians, fully well—the majority of the students are why. that WPIRG offers and not want their such as seeking equality for homosexual paying the fee and not getting a refund. What does WPIRG do? The bottom money back. And let’s put this in perspec- relationships, creating responsible federal Not because they do not want the refund, line is that it empowers students to work tive- it’s $4.75. Sure, I’d like $4.75 right budgets, maintaining universal health care, but because getting the refund is too much on issues that they are concerned with, by now, I could get some food at the C&D, and helping to reduce greenhouse emis- work and a headache, and at any rate an providing resources, information, discus- but I’d much rather do something about sions by participating in an international unreasonable imposition. That is how sion groups, speakers, conferences, or by those ungodly Co-op fees that are at least environmental protocol. And the fee is WPIRG has been able to collect hundreds supporting small- and large-scale pro- a hundred times as big. And only 8% of fully refundable. You only need to go to of thousands of dollars in income to sup- jects. It is a not-for-profit organization, WPIRG fees go to administration- could their offices three blocks down the road port its own activities and why it is defend- with its workers making the same be said of our with your receipt. You do have to pay this ing the refundable fee formula so significantly less than Co-op dollars? fee now. Otherwise you pro-actively: WPIRG other University “WPIRG has been Anyone who’s been do not get your driver's knows that without this employees doing the on other university licence. “Getting the refund blurry concept of same work. Why would responsible for campuses in Ontario How would you is too much work "refundable mandatory they settle for this? bringing numerous will surely agree that react? Now, if you were fee", it will not be able to Because they believe in Waterloo has a different a Liberal party member and a headache, collect enough voluntary the idea of WPIRG, and guest speakers to feel to it. Maybe it has who faithfully pays his and at any rate donations to survive. they are motivated by Waterloo, [including] something to do with dues each year, would an unreasonable But my, no WPIRG? the greater good instead David Suzuki” all the students being you react differently? Well, if not enough peo- of the ‘almighty dol- pitted against each Now, the Ministry imposition” ple are interested in lar’- a lesson that many other for co-op jobs or of Transportation is the financially supporting Waterloo students could being ranked as ‘better’ University of Waterloo. WPIRG, that is WPIRG's use to learn. WPIRG has been responsible or ‘worse’ than their classmates based on The Liberal Party of Canada is WPIRG. problem. That is the problem with every for bringing numerous guest speakers to final marks, but Waterloo has a less col- And you are not getting your driver's non-profit organization. That is why fund Waterloo, most recently the respected laborative, more competitive atmosphere. licence. You are getting your degree. raising is such an important but difficult environmentalist David Suzuki. They Students are becoming old and bitter Of course, you can choose not to get job for these organizations. But WPIRG have held conferences on HIV/AIDS before their time, interested only in their your degree the same way that you can took the easy way out. By collecting fees issues, community activism, renewable own gain and oblivious to the troubles of choose not to drive. But is that fair? that it knows it otherwise would not have energy, racism, and many other relevant others. This is not a mentality that fosters No. received, but being able to duck under the issues. They have offered training in pub- a positive campus atmosphere! And that I do not hate WPIRG. I have even cover of "refundable", WPIRG has man- lic meeting facilitation, consensus-mak- is what WPIRG is fighting to change. If attended one of its meetings four odd years aged to become bigger than it is sustain- ing, communication, event planning, and we, the students, are not concerned with ago. Granted, I do not love it either. I con- able by itself. other useful skills. They have partnered the public interest, what kind of people sider myself in the same situation as many This issue is not just restricted to with the community on charitable pro- will we be when we graduate? How will others on campus: I am indifferent to WPIRG. I have the same problem with jects, supported international environ- we use our newly-acquired knowledge- WPIRG. I cannot care less about what it is. Radio Waterloo and Imprint. It is the same mental projects, and held cultural events for the greater good, or for our own gain? I have not the slightest idea whether it is concept. Radio Waterloo is playing things such as the Rainbow Reel Film Festival. Do we want to live in a society where good or bad to have WPIRG. For all I that no one cares about. Imprint is printing It is obvious that our campus would be a people care only about themselves? What know, I support everything that it says it excessive numbers of papers that the recy- much weaker and less interesting place we learn here will form the basis of the does: eradicate discrimination, create a cling boxes are having trouble coping without WPIRG. rest of our lives- let’s make sure our con- better environment, and seek world peace. with. But the problem is, they are taking cern for the public interest doesn’t fall by Sure, that all sounds nice. I support United Their argument is that if people are $4.75 a term from us in student fees, and the wayside. To those who voted ‘no’, Way, as well. As well as the Red Cross, really against these clubs—and that is all the principle of that evidently offends thank you- you’re already making a dif- Cancer Society, Scouts Canada, Goodwill, these three are—they could have asked for some people. Why should they pay for ference. WWF, Greenpeace, Terry Fox Foundation, a refund. But that misses the point. It is about individual right. It is my right as an individual consumer to choose where I spend my money. To change that right Jurassic Park 2010 from being able to choose how to spend Researchers discover cells and blood vessels from T-Rex fossils into having to ask my own money back is to violate this right. Even the government above story is largely false. Wait a that similar findings were present in other does not deduct the GST first and then ask minute! That implies something up there fossils. you to claim it back when you did not buy was true? Believe it or not, yes there was. Because traditional theory states that things that are not subject to GST. Researchers at North Carolina State soft tissues have infinitesimally-small But they tell you it's only $4.75! It's a University discovered cells and blood ves- probably of surviving more than ten thou- bargain when you are saving the world! GABRIEL CHAN sels from fossil of Tyrannosaurus Rex sand years, this new find questions our You're wasting it any way when you buy a 2A SYSTEMS DESIGN recovered from the Hell Creek Formation understanding for the fossilization process cup of coffee at Starbucks! Well, maybe in eastern Montana. Under normal cir- may revolutionize palaeontology. I'm just cheap. Fine, I'm cheap. I have the Last week, American palaeontologists cumstances, soft tissues get devoured by Although the team has successfully right to be cheap. $4.75 feeds me well discovered soft tissues in a dinosaur fossil maggots and other little critters, while extracted soft tissues, finding DNA is not enough to live another day. If you are so found in Montana. In a CNN special, bones get heated, crushed, dissolved, and a realistic possibility. However, biochem- rich, then stop showing off and go support reporter Candice B. Reel claimed that they finally replaced by rocks (this is called istry has proven that proteins are more WPIRG yourself. were going to build a dinosaur amusement fossilization). durable than DNA, so salvaging macro- park in five years; project "Vision 2010"? However, in specimen MOR 1125, Dr. molecules such as proteins (DNA is an Editor’s Note: Point vs. Counterpoint is not only sounds cool, but will also feature Mary Schweitzer found various cells and integral part of protein synthesis) is a intended as a forum for objective and real dinosaurs cloned from DNA found in filaments, resembling red blood cells, more realistic goal for Schweitzer and her thought provoking debate on various soft tissue from these special fossils. osteocytes ("bone cells"), and blood ves- team. Cloning will probably not be possi- issues. The views and opinions expressed Sounds like science fiction? Before sels. They successfully isolated the soft ble for a while, so if you are a big fan of here do not necessarily reflect those of the Michael Crichton files a lawsuit against tissue from the femur of the 68-million- Jurassic Park, keep waiting (or go take author(s), the Iron Warrior, or the Iron Warrior, please let me say that the year-old fossil. Another source reported biochem). Engineering Society. 6 Wednesday, March 30, 2005 Final update from India 30-Hour Famine: Scores of over a dozen specialties, and won the award for the best-designed hospital in the world when it was built less than 2 starving students in SLC years ago. Early in April, we will travel organization which helps communities to Jaipur, Agra, and Delhi, and we will increase their capacity to grow and pre- ANDREW DODDS experience true Indian immersion in pare nutritious foods, among other social 1N MECHANICAL some of the most heavily populated cities work and programs. World Vision main- around, taking in many sights such as the tains its benevolent presence not just in inally it is coming to an end. We’re Taj Mahal before returning home mid- GABRIEL CHAN developing nations such as Malawi, Finto our final few weeks here, and April. 2A SYSTEMS Tanzania, India, Nicaragua and Peru, but you’re all finished up at UW. With lec- Culturally, we’ve experienced much also disaster zones, such as Indonesia, Sri tures I mean; finals will be abusing you during our stay here. From our early wo weeks ago, a devastating accident Lanka, Bangladesh, Thailand, and other in no time. Hopefully you’ve also got a adventures on campus and off, we’ve Toccurred in the secret nuclear fusion areas devastated by the recent Aceh job lined up that will give you a good added to our experiences further, joining reactor in an E3 lab, damaging many res- Tsunami. Such programs are reducing the experience, good pay, and that won’t the students on campus in their idences, flattening most parts of the levels of undernourished children and are drive you insane. I’ve had the pleasure of music/drama (mudra) festival, participat- campus, and utterly destroyed the neigh- contributing to the long-term, overall talking with some of the 1B Mechs, and ing in a band, a cultural dance, and even bouring University Plaza. Although sur- health of community members. The top aside from the sweet pay, they’re firing a fashion show. While you all ate Easter viving engineers organized a relatively participants raised $406 and $390 (for on all cylinder’s to take up all the other eggs (or slept in) during Easter weekend, swift and successful reconstruction effort, first place and second and third tied, goodies India has to offer. Coming out of we experienced a different holiday, wak- scores of students are starving due to lack respectively). 6 weeks in India, between the food and ing up to paint fights celebrating what I of food and water. Many are not expect- As the headline suggests, many 30 the experience, we’re stuffed. understood to be Holi (if I heard any- ed to survive the resulting famine that has Hour Famine participants stayed in the Next week has double importance for thing correctly while avoiding flying ravaged the UW area. Student Life Centre for most of the event, us. Friday marks the end of all of our lec- paint), celebrating the colors of life I Actually, that was not true. Nobody with some camping out for the entire tures, and hence all need to wake up believe. I can’t say I’ve fully grasped the got hurt. There was no nuclear accident. ordeal. Various activities were held for before noon for a good month. It is also meaning behind all the festivities that And I’m almost certain that McMaster is the participants throughout the duration during that week that we will have four have come and gone here (and I know I the only university in Ontario with a of the event. On Friday, IceBreakers final exams covering metrology, electric- still can’t figure out half the holidays we nuclear deterrence of some sort. But 800 were organized by The Crew, followed by ity, welding and machining, so don’t have in Canada), but I can say that I’ve million other people around the world are various movies and games. Saturday saw think we get off any easier than you. certainly felt the spirit of celebration experiencing this disaster every day: the several speakers and performances for the From now on until we leave, we’re work- here, whatever the occasion. world hunger problem is a harsh reality 30 Hour Famine group at SLC, including ing on our various projects, including an Yes, living on the far side of the plan- and most believe that nothing can be done Benjamin Land from World Vision (who acetylene generator, a pipe cutting et does show you a completely different about it. lectured about 30 Hour Famine), machine, and even two lawnmowers world, shaking us from atop our But two weekends ago, 200 UW stu- Engineers Without Borders ("Food for (hopefully dueling à la junkyard Canadian perch, and it is true that we dents decided to refuse to do nothing. Thought" presentation), The New wars/battle bots). We’re designing all of won’t be the same people coming home. The 30 Hour Famine was held from 6pm Aardvarks (improv comedians), Waterloo them for use here in India, with no plans Yes it has been quite hard working 35 on Friday March 11th to 12am on Sunday Juggling Club (guess what they did?), and to follow, so we have to use our imagina- hour days and going week after week March 13th (i.e. the midnight of Saturday a concert featuring an assortment of tions to fully CAD out our models, and without seeing our loved ones. No, we night). UW’s own 30 Hour Famine was campus bands. A poker tournament was our skills to build it. We’ve come a long would not trade this experience for any- organized by three 2A Systems Design also held, sponsored by CIBC, UW Retail ways since first snapping bit after bit on thing. We come home to Canada tired, Engineering students, Timothy Szeto, Services, UW Food Services, Apple II the shaper. but with a glimpse of all things unfamil- Kevin Li, and Taneem Talukdar. All par- Hair Salon, and East Side Mario's eatery. We still have more travels to com- iar, all new things good and bad, and we ticipants collected donations from spon- Although food was provided for plete before our last 3 weeks are up. Not come home changed for the better. We sors willing to support their selfless everyone after the 30 hours were up, over too long ago we visited a tractor factory can only thank Dr. Bedi in Canada and initiative to observe 30 consecutive hours 12% of the world population do not have and a hospital while journeying again to our most gracious hosts here in India for of fasting and abstinence, experiencing this happy ending. The UW 30 Hour Chandigarh. The factory showcased state this experience. We wish all the other 1B the hunger that is prevalent throughout Famine Committee encourages people to of the art machines and assembly lines, Mechs the best should they be so lucky the developing worlds. continue their support for world hunger operating 24/7/365 to churn out large as us, to venture to the limits from home, As pledge forms are starting to be and would like to extend a special thanks combines and tractors from 35-70HP. for like us they will be exposed to a dif- returned to the committee, 30 Hour to all sponsors and volunteers who con- The hospital is partnered with one of the ferent world, and a journey that will for- Famine organizers so far counted a total tributed to this successful event. top hospitals in the US, in Boston, and ever change the paths we choose to of $9000 raised for this event. All the Reminders to people who have not boasts world-class facilities. We toured follow, or the paths we dare to shape for money collected is going to be sent to returned their pledge forms yet, please the impressive facility, which sported ourselves. World Vision, an international non-profit email [email protected] Interview with The Young Communists League NEAL DAMGAARD sibility of being truly free. It is about Capitalism as well). I find it interesting discussed some of Marx’s ideas. 3A CIVIL recapturing sovereignty of self and equali- that we generally only have emphasis on ty for every person from capitalist oppres- the successes of Capitalism and the failure IW: One final question, and don’t The Young Communist League (YCL) sion and wage slavery. There’s a quote of Communism while the flip sides are answer this if you don’t want: are there any posters set up throughout the halls last from a RATM song: “No one is free while overlooked. I would not consider available women in the club? week attracted some attention and piqued one man is oppressed.” These issues affect Communism, thus far, a failure at all. PM: Not really, or at least, not yet. some interest. Iron Warrior staff inter- everyone. Communism in Cuba and socialism in viewed Phil Mowatt (2A Comp Sci), orga- IW: To what degree should possessions Venezuela have both been highly success- That’s the substance of the interview. nizer of the UW chapter of the YCL, to get be held in common? ful (and highly troubling the capitalist ele- The impression that I got from their presi- the scoop on what this organization is, PM: This is a question that the people ments of the US). dent is that the YCLers are dedicated, what its members believe and what they would decide for themselves. Definitely IW: What do you hope to achieve in intelligent, and educated. They are also hope to bring about. the means of production must be held in Waterloo? serious; those who think joining would be IW: What is your definition of common. Ideally there would be no private PM: The YCL branch in K-W is still in a good way to impress chicks or get more Communism? property, nor any need for it; even homes its early stages. For the time being, we are attention from mom need not apply. For PM: Communism is primarily an eco- would be held in common and distributed working on uniting the more leftist-pro- more information, contact nomic scheme where the means of produc- equally. gressive clubs in the area, forming a read- [email protected]. tion is in the hands of the working class. IW: Is there not some possibility of the ing group, and promoting socialism in Ideally, in fact, the Communist society is same greed which you see as a mark of Venezuela. classless; in it, the people who work also capitalism also corrupting the Communist IW: What size is the club? How many govern. This is the application of the phi- order? members do you have? losophy of Karl Marx and Friedrich PM: Humans are not born corrupt; if PM: We’re still small, but we’re grow- Engels, who together conceived of the the- the social order changed to accommodate ing. ory of historical and dialectical material- socialism, the human psyche would like- IW: What are you doing at meetings ism, which forms the basis of the Marxist wise change, it would no longer see a place these days? Communism (Marxism). for greed or selfishness. PM: We’re working at drafting a con- IW: Are the benefits of this system IW: Do you consider Communism to stitution for our local YCL chapter. Also, only in terms of material goods? be a failure thus far in history? we’re trying to get information out on cur- PM: The Communist system is not PM: There have been considerable fail- rent events in Venezuela. At our last meet- simply about equal distribution of material ures of Communism in some countries ing (the one advertised) we talked mainly goods. It is about giving everyone the pos- (there have been considerable failures of about issues facing the world and we also THE UNOFFICIAL MOUTHPIECE OF THE UNIVERSITY OF WATERLOO ENGINEERING SOCIETY Wednesday, March 30, 2005 Why you shouldn’t make a ruckus on St. Patrick’s Day engineered plan in a pub near the University of Essex. In an unre- lated incident, a graduate student from the U of Essex was dis- charged from the school for fail- GABRIEL CHAN ing to submit his thesis on some 2A SYSTEMS random CS theory after the St. Paddy’s Day deadline. n March 17th, unknown to Anyway, the CIA got wind of Omost of the world, the the suspected Arab involvement Republic of Ireland declared a in Ireland. US President George state of martial law in response to Bush Jr. was quick to condemn a massive riot in Belfast. It Iran for the attacks. The Islamic seems that a rowdy bunch of Republic was also quick to Englishmen trashed a huge St. respond with the finger. And the Patrick’s Day party. US Navy responded by firing a Consequently, the unrest spread few Tomahawks at the Busehr throughout the province of nuclear plant. Coincidentally, an Northern Ireland and into the Iraqi air strike was launched at neighbouring republic, stirring the Esfahan nuclear research discontent against the British. centre, while Iraqi border guards The next day, several explosions moved in to occupy the strategic rocked the Belfast district, injur- Khuzestan delta, where they ing scores of people. Prime were confronted by a massive Minister Tony Blair was quick to Persian defence forces. Soon, blame random IRA terrorists, but British and American troops all IRA groups quickly denied joined the offensive, closing in involvement. Eventually, every- on Tehran. This also saw a one blamed some Islamic terror decrease in insurgent attacks in cell, since this was the trend Iraq (finally), as most of their tar- nowadays. gets have moved elsewhere. By the next day, MI-6 The world was in an uproar coughed up some evidence over the latest advances of the pointing to a previously “Coalition of the Killing”. Both unknown group called al- the UN Secretary General and Gorithm. British intelligence the Pope strongly condemned the had dispatched their double-0s attacks; US President Bush, cit- all around the British Isles and Continued on page T3 found the clues of a carefully- See WWIII Warriors! Gehen Sie Life with the EIC: A Skofz story aus Deutschland! ROBERT STARUCH & who, when, where, how…but not JENDRIK SCHMIDT Crème der Universitätslandschaft Autobahn die Sporen geben! SUNIT MOHNINDROO always what. He single-handedly GERMAN EXCHANGE STUDENT in Deutschland wartet Ð auf Dich! Wäre das nicht interessant? THE EIC’S ROOMATES helped (dragged) us through 2nd Und worauf wartest Du? Ich meine es ernst! Warum year ECE, makes travel plans Hey, Du! Ja, Dich meine ich! Ich Vielleicht auf ein Jahr solltest Du Dir das entgehen oes your roommate bike to down to the last second and keeps verbringe im Austausch gerade Urlaubsgefühl? Ein Jahr leben in lassen? Und mal ganz unter uns: DSobey’s in the middle of the us eating salmon steaks and pasta ein Wahnsinnsjahr bei euch an einer seit 3000 Jahren gewachse- wenn Du dies schon lesen kannst, night to get a soup and a sandwich instead of chicken strips and EZ der Uni Waterloo. Euer Land ist nen Kultur? Ein Jahr Land und bist Du entweder selbst for you when you are miserably Mac, yet still manages to knock einfach gro§artig! Leute kennen lernen, aus der Austauschstudent oder eben sick? Does your roommate put on over his laptop every time he sits Aber, bei aller Freundschaft, Masse der Studenten her- prädestiniert für einen Besuch a one-night feast of fine dining at his desk. The Skofield Bear is a es gibt etwas, das muss einmal ausstechen und ganz nebenbei beim echten Oktoberfest! every term for guests of your special kind of roommate. He’s gesagt werden: warum sehe ich Deinen CV auf Hochglanz brin- Bis bald, hoffe ich, in house with menus that include smart yet humble, incredibly busy so wenige von euch bei uns in gen? Ein Jahr lang keinen Deutschland! roasted garlic chicken, peppered yet always patient, constantly vol- Deutschland? Es gibt hier erstk- Pfennig fürs Studium zahlen, salmon and gingerbread cake? unteering, but always seems to lassige Austauschprogramme, weder hier noch in Deutschland? Editor’s note: Ich habe absolut Does your roommate shovel your have nothing but free time. His unter anderem das mit meiner Stattdessen lieber einem keine Idee, was er schrieb. Ich driveway, put up the Christmas intelligence, charm, kindness and Stadt Hamburg. Die Crème de la gemieteten Porsche 911 auf der sollte Deutsches erlernen. lights, teach you a semester’s shy nature has girls swooning over worth of calculus and fix your him, yet he’s too occupied with his household appliances, the day volunteer work, extracurriculars before his hardest final exam? and hockey games to notice. The Tin Soldier Goes Online! Didn’t think so! It’s because of his unique per- CINDY BAO The Tin Soldier Advisory Chief Jimmy Skofz has offered Full Name: James Lee Skofield sonality that he inspires such nick- TIN SOLDIER NEWS BUREAU Board, which is missing an on- his vision for the paper. With Occupation: Editor-In-Chief IW, names as: Skof-a-saurus, Peanut stream student-at-large (and the additional revenue, he’d like to 3rd-Year Comp Eng student, Butter & Skofz, African Jimmy Starting March 30th, the web- off-stream counterpart is uncer- publish the paper on a more regu- and pseudo-parent to two Skofari, or Jimmy Skofoltra & based edition of The Tin Soldier tain if he has been replaced), lar basis in the future, as opposed barely-competent engineers Olivia Newton-Skofz, just to will be available to readers on a cited the decline in advertising to once every four months, a goal Notable Qualities: Fixer of all name a few of the over 300 that paid subscription basis. revenue as the reason to imple- which which is still often not things broken, charmer of have been recorded over the past The subscription will be ment paid web subscription. The realized. At the same time, a new women, and baker of delicious three years. He’s also got a pretty $14.95 a year for non-UW read- Board pointed out the paper is office is deemed essential for its goodies good sense of humour. We tend to ers, and the members of the following suit of a number of staff members, who currently There’s a lot about your friendly push his buttons a lot, (to pay University will enjoy a special large national newspaper, such as shares the office, dingy couch, neighbourhood IW editor and homage to our hero, of course) discounted price of $6.95. The The Globe and Mail and The empty fridge, and computing C&D volunteer that you don’t and he usually takes it in stride. website for The Tin Soldier will National Post. facilities of The Iron Warrior know about. The “Skofz”, as we Some Engineers have room- be http://tsoldier.uwaterloo.ca. The Tin Soldier Editor-in- Magazine. affectionately call him, knows mates, we have a Skofz. T2 Wednesday, March 30, 2005 John’s Basement: Suggestions for debt-laden students At least that’s what the government will seems to end sometime around May and The initial investment of time and money think. There’s lots of information on set- start again around the middle of in a new grow op is rather large. Buying ting up such a shop available on the September. Keep your plants inside and the seeds and soil and potting beds, and internet, but who’s got that kind of time safe where you can both control their spending hours and hours tending the JOHN “MILKY” on their hands? That’s why the Tin environment and keep the away from plants seems rather hefty for the reward. OLAVESON Soldier has brought you this time-saving thieving neighbours. Separate off a room Don’t be fooled! The growth of pot 3A CIVIL quick guide to setting up your very own from the rest of the house for the plants. plants happens exponentially, if you do it grow operation. (note: The Iron Warrior They need warmth and humidity, and lots right. In under a year, you too can have he student debt load survey was does not condone this, or any other ille- of light to thrive. Rents near the univer- a basement full of sprouting pot plants, Trecently published. This led me to gal activity. Officially, anyways.) sity are high enough that your landlord starting with just a few plants. think of ways for my fellow students to The first step is to should be able to afford Those are the basics of starting up a earn a little extra cash on the side. Of acquire a supply of some new drywall after grow op at home. There’s just one other course, there are all sorts of crime which marijuana for planting. you rot it all out. Also, problem; what to do with all of the pot pay quite well Ð whoever said that crime Based on my extensive “Ideally you should ideally you should be you’re harvesting? I can’t recommend doesn’t pay never crunched the numbers, survey of 4 people, I be renting a place renting a place that smoking all of your own Ð this will cause my friends. Selling beer to high school have determined that includes electricity in all sorts of problems with short term students is highly profitable, and the high everyone in British that includes your rent, otherwise that memory and generally fuck with your school demographic seems to have more Columbia smokes a lot electricity in your part can get expensive. schoolwork. We all pay too much to disposable income than I even remember of pot; try asking a Check out the local allow this to happen. Instead, this is having. Used computer monitors can native to bring back rent, otherwise greenhouse or garden where you can make your financial bring in some cash, but of course the some seedlings from that part can centre for soils rich in investments pay off. ones around this school are mostly in their next trip home. get expensive” nitrogen to make your High school students like to smoke such poor repair that there’s not much Offer them a small plants grow full and pot almost as much as they like to drink money in that game. That is why I sug- piece of your harvest lush. Just ask any beer, plus they don’t haggle about the gest an activity that, while technically in exchange. I’m sure friendly associate for empties. It makes them feel cool much illegal, is all but encouraged in our fair the British Columbians of Waterloo miss soil and planting advice. Associates faster, it’s easier to hide in pockets and country. the homegrown flavour and would glad- become very helpful when you promise back packs, and they don’t vomit as What reasonable Canadian Citizen, ly help establish a supply here. I could them samples of your crop. much from overdosing. Plus, if you’re with a simple cost-benefit analysis, have confirmed this if I had asked when It's all right to start off small, with selling to the really rowdy kids, their would choose not to grow a little I surveyed about that first thing, but I maybe one or two pots for your pot. The teachers might actually appreciate your cannabis sativa? That will be the subject forgot and I have a deadline, so let’s just plants will grow and you can harvest the help with mellowing them out. of my next work term report, my own assume this is true. seeds and start a larger crop in the future. That’s it! It’s just that easy. entrepreneurial adventure, sanctioned (if The second step is to establish a nurs- My entrepreneurial experience, Remember, it’s only illegal if you get I word my proposal correctly) by the Co- ery somewhere on your (preferably rent- which admittedly is pretty much nonex- caught! And of course, to any police- op department. My very own grow op, ed) premises. Outdoor operations in istent, has taught me a couple of key types who might be reading this: it’s just for medicinal purposes only, of course. Waterloo do not work since Winter facts which I feel must be passed on. a joke. Really. ECE students now required to transfer soul to department Other departments eyeing similar procedure for incoming students TIN SOLDIER NEWS BUREAU Feedback from graduating students has designed to coincide approximately with adopting a similar process. Dean Sedra has indicated that rather than having the the due date of the first work term report promised to incorporate a standardized eginning in fall 2005, all Electrical department gradually crush their spirits for most students. The department has faculty-wide transfer of soul procedure as Band Computer Engineering students over the duration of the five year program, promised to accomodate students who part of the Vision 2010 planning process. will be required to transfer their soul to the it would be more convenient to simply take have already lost their soul. ECE department at the commencement of the entire soul at once. Other departments within the Faculty Form designed by embittered WEEF TA their 2A academic term. The timing of the soul transfer is of Engineering have expressed interest in and 3A Computer student Jason Pang. Wednesday, March 30, 2005 T3

COUNTERPOINT VS. COUNTERPOINT Round doughnuts vs. long doughnuts even with sprinkles on top… this is more ductivity have been wasted on the need- diversity than one can expect from a Long less searching for and replacing of Round Doughnut. They are also more plentifully Doughnuts which have rolled away. No available at the C&D, and many non-UW doubt whoever came up with that faulty doughnut chains stock Round Doughnuts design wound up in the PEO’s ‘blue DAN ARNOTT exclusively. DAN ARNOTT pages’! 2A ENVIRONMENTAL Let us now consider the shape of the 2A ENVIRONMENTAL Long Doughnuts are also a much more Round Doughnut, and how that makes it efficient use of space than Round kay, so you’re walking through the better than the Long Doughnut. The kay, so you’re walking through the Doughnuts. Due to their linear shape, OCPH foyer between classes, and Round Doughnut is shaped like a circle, a OCPH foyer between classes, and more of them can fit on the same tray, thus you’re getting a little bit hungry. Time to shape with special significance for many you’re getting a little bit hungry. Time to saving shipping and materials costs. Also, grab a delicious doughnut at the C&D! cultures and religions. The circle has no grab a delicious doughnut at the C&D! the most innovative aspect of the Long But when you get in there, you are pre- beginning and no end- it goes on forever But when you get in there, you are pre- Doughnut is that it has finally gotten rid of sented with a question, a decision, a and ever. The metaphors are practically sented with a question, a decision, a the hole that has plagued doughnut quandary as old as time. What kind of endless. Also, if you put two Round quandary as old as time. What kind of designers for centuries! Seriously, look at doughnut should you choose? A Round Doughnuts side to side, they look like the doughnut should you choose? A Round the Round Doughnut. It has this great big Doughnut, or a Infinity symbol. Doughnut, or a hole in the middle Long Doughnut? Therefore, Round Long Doughnut? of it, a hole which Which one is better, Doughnuts are Which one is better, serves no purpose tastier, and will give made with all the tastier, and will give whatsoever. If you you a better taste deliciousness of you a better taste paid for a tarp, or a experience? A eternity and infini- experience? A Long tire, or a house, and Round Doughnut, of ty. Those familiar Doughnut, of found that it had a course. with topology course. great big hole in it, Through the know that a Long Now when you you’d send it right ages, the Round Doughnut is a first see a Long back where it came Doughnut has been Genus 0 solid, Doughnut, you may from! It’s a fact- the standard in while a Round be shocked by its Round Doughnuts doughnutiform pas- Doughnut is a radical, streamlined, are notorious space- tries. Enjoyed by Genus 1 solid. One new-wave appear- wasters. As engi- police officers, fire- is bigger than zero, ance. Don’t worry, neers, we are men, office workers, and the general pop- so the Round Doughnut is better. And let this is nothing to fear. Long Doughnuts trained in methods of optimization, how to ulation, it has become the gold standard us not forget the hole! The doughnut hole, are simply the latest innovation in the field do the most work with the least amount of of what a doughnut should be. What does which only appears on Round Doughnuts, of doughnut design, and it’s shaking up material. And yet, every day, we walk into the Lard Lad hold proudly aloft in is a critical part of the doughnut’s identi- the doughnut world. This definitely ain’t the C&D and buy something that has a Simpsons cartoons? A Round Doughnut, ty. The hole represents the “mystical mid- your daddy’s doughnut. It’s definitely not great big hole in it? That’s downright un- of course! What changed Tim Horton dle”- that is to say, the mysterious, the a pastry for those who are stuck in the past engineering. Think about it. from a hockey legend to our nation’s most unattainable, the unknowable, the divine or afraid of embracing positive change. Despite the slander of Round pervasive restaurant chain? The Round mystery which keeps us all striving for No, the Long Doughnut is yet another Doughnut propagandists, several varieties Doughnut! When most people think of a more. It is this mystical hole at the centre example of the forward-thinking, progres- of Long Doughnuts are available, includ- doughnut, the Round Doughnut is the first of the Round Doughnut which imparts sive and liberal society which we as ing sugar, powdered-sugar, cream-filled, thing that comes to their mind. And upon it its special deliciousness. Do Long Canadians are trying to foster. It takes an and chocolate-covered. And the reason because it has been around for so many Doughnuts have such holes? I think not. open mind to eat a Long Doughnut, and that there are few of them in the C&D is years, the Theory of Evolution states that As far as the shape of the Long we as university students pride ourselves that they have already been eaten by hun- it is the fittest doughnut, and that it has Doughnut goes, it is… well, long and with open minds. gry and forward-thinking students who out-competed other doughnut species for phallic. Now think about it. Do you real- The Long Doughnut has addressed support the free-thinking Long Doughnut mastery and dominance on the surface of ly want to be sticking something long in many of the design issues present in the Revolution. And it’s important to remem- the earth. your mouth, especially since some of the Round Doughnut. First, and often most ber, that although Long Doughnuts may The Round Doughnut clearly has Long Doughnuts happen to be cream- importantly, the Long Doughnut will not seem phallic, Round Doughnuts do have many other advantages over the Long filled? The Long Doughnut has some roll away when you drop it. The designers this great big HOLE in them, which could Doughnut. For one, it is available in a deep-seated Freudian issues going on that of Round Doughnuts made the mistake of be interpreted in a similar manner. wide variety of flavours- sugared (regular I don’t even want to talk about. designing them to look like little wheels, In conclusion, Long Doughnuts are far or powedered), plain, frosted, old-fash- In conclusion, Round Doughnuts are which are, of course, prone to rolling superior to Round Doughnuts. ioned or new, maple glazed, chocolate, far superior to Long Doughnuts. places. Countless doughnut-hours of pro- Editor’s Note: Counterpoint vs. Counterpoint is intended as a forum for ridiculous and assinine arguments about WWIII: St. Patrick’s Day leads to mayhem subjects which have absolutely no bearing Continued from page T1 March 24th, the Coalition had completely arsenals at each other, China finally invad- whatsoever on anything related to engi- ing that they “don’t have no army”, encircled the province of Tehran. Iran ed Taiwan, Indonesia retook East Timor, neering. prompt told them to “shut the f--- up”. resorted to its last option: nuclear launch. Syria marched into Lebanon, Cuba invad- Vladmir Putin, deciding that sitting The missiles were headed for Israeli ed a bunch of Caribbean countries, and around doing nothing was not really the industrial centres (since the US and UK Russia occupied a several former Soviet Russian way of dealing with problems, were out of range) but unfortunately some republics and United States tried to annex Crane sent troops across the northern Iranian of them landed in neighbouring Egypt. Canada as a “protectorate”. Meanwhile, frontier to “help maintain security in the They thought Libya had attacked them, the European Union finally organized a country” as Russia was “invited” by the thus initiated a “retaliatory” invasion on unified army; its first mission was to collapses at Iranian government. Great Britain and the the Libyan border. Libya responded with invade Britain and overthrown Tony United States both declared martial law as nuking the invading Egyptian forces. Blair’s regime. they entered a phase of war. Taking advantage of this mess, North Regional powers managed to restrain construction Meanwhile, China was convincing Korea decided to launch its own nuclear North Korea, Japan, Israel, and Libya most of the countries in East and South- missiles, attacking major Japanese cities, from further military action. Canada and east Asia to impose economic sanctions on coinciding with a mass invasion of South Mexico, with the help of EU troops, site the US. Australia, Taiwan, and Japan furi- Korea. Japan landed their Special invaded the United States and Alaska. ously opposed. Japan quickly inflamed Defence Forces in South Korea and Osama bin-Laden had reportedly commit- TIN SOLDIER NEWS BUREAU the dominant hatred that has been collect- moved to reinforce Taiwan. Meanwhile, a ted suicide, seeing that the sole purpose of ing since WWII, especially from North huge bomb exploded in Surrey, but Osama his existence had ceased to exist. Thus On Friday March 25, there was a serious Korea. The European Union was divided bin-Laden later released a videotape apol- ends the brief nuclear skirmishes that incident at a construction site in the on what actions it should take while ogizing to the Canadian government for future historians may even dare to call Bakairo Prefecture. Canada was debating if any action should mistaking Vancouver for Seattle. WWIII. A crane collapsed during the final be taken. The final shocking revelation of the Back in Ireland, the uprisings have construction phase of a new building. The fall of the Islamic Republic was nuclear capabilities of the “Axis of Evil”, finally calmed down and everyone has The investigation cited faulty origami now imminent. The Ayatollah warned that as the world scrambled for solutions. gone home and lived happily ever after. was to blame. fire will rain from the sky, but Bush and Nothing could stop the subsequent events, And this is why you shouldn’t cause a There was one reported casualty; the Blair dismissed it as propaganda. On as India and Pakistan lobbed their nuclear ruckus on St. Patrick’s Day. cause of death was a stroke. T4 Wednesday, March 30, 2005 The 22 potentially funniest Tin Soldier’s Kitchen ly want to get fancy, to impress a lady or something (not easy to find in Engineering things about the eventual as we all know), garnish it with a wedge of lemon. But to really make a lady happy, make sure you have a clean glass. death of Ken Jennings CINDY BAO Gin and Tonic MICHAEL SUE-KAM-LING 16. Answer: No one. Question: Who 3B ELECTRICAL Same as above, except replacing rum, 1N CHEMICAL cares about the death of Ken Jennings? coke and lemon with gin, tonic water and 15. Accidentally inhales his "lucky" o who am I kidding when I told you to lime. t the beginning of March, a small plush Totoro and chokes to death on it. Seat healthy while cramming for exams? Peanut Butter Sandwich ANew York City newspaper, called the 14. Upon death, Ken's face is frozen in Chances are, you are going to eat greasy Thanks to Dan Arnott, who pointed out New York Press, ran an article by Matt the annoying smirk he usually made when fast food takeout, instant noodles, or Kraft that he and probably many students are too Taibbi entitled "52 Funniest Things About his winnings were announced every Dinner, and drink coffee like there is no lazy to try out the recipes from Cindy’s the Upcoming Death of the Pope." episode. tomorrow. Therefore, I provide you with Kitchen, I decided it’s time to get in touch Needless to say, this article was not well 13. Ken's magnificent brain devoured recipes you may deem essential to combat with the reality, i.e. food tasty and conve- received by most. I really have no opinion by hundreds of maggots. the evil that is called the final exams, nient enough that you will actually make. on the article myself, as I found some of it 12. Jennings given death sentence after exclusively from the Tin Soldier’s test What’s is better than the childhood staple was extremely distasteful, while some was murdering a Waterloo engineering student kitchen. of peanut butter sandwich? well written satire. in rage over an article about his death. No doubt you have been told the This is an extremely versatile recipe, as In response to this article and in light of 11. Shortly after his death, it is discov- importance of drinking enough fluid. you can add jam, banana, jelly, even Jeopardy!’s Ultimate Tournament of ered that Ken Jennings was a notorious Whether you need ethanol to calm the pre- Cheez-Whiz. One of the more memorable Champions, I have written a similar article drug lord of the Salt Lake City under- exam jitters or to forget everything that ones I had was a peanut butter, jam and about another strongly religious and world. just happened in the last three hours, the bacon sandwich, done by no others than recently influential man. That man is none 10. Alex Trebek outraged at the discov- following drinks serve the purposes nicely. our beloved VPF David Johnson, who I other than Ken Jennings. ery that he was excluded from Ken's will. Plus, after you are dehydrated, which caus- assumed was pretty drunk at the time. The original article can be seen here: 9. Ken breaks buzzer finger in freak es hangover, you can always just drink So (drum roll please) this is how you http://www.nypress.com/18/9/news&colu accident, decides life is no longer worth more. make this culinary wonder: Bread and mns/taibbi.cfm living. While the required ingredients are peanut butter. Spread the latter on the for- 22. Ken is named a martyr of the 8. At celebrity golf tournament, Ken is given below, the exact amount of each mer, of which hopefully have you two Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day struck by Bob Barker's golf ball, suffers depends on your personal preference, pieces, to make an actually sandwich. Saints. severe brain damage, and is forced to live namely how generous you are with booze Any bread will do, but the recommend- 21. Turns out Mad-TV was right and rest of his life as a drooling moron. and how drunk you want to get. ed is the white Wonder Bread, and be sure Jennings really was a robot, go figure. 7. Years after his death, the remains of Rum and Coke to cut off the crust. Peanut butter can be 20. Jeopardy! ratings soar once more as Nancy Zerg are discovered in Jennings' As the name implies, you need rum and crunchy or smooth, it all depends on your they air a special edition Ken Jennings cellar. you need coke. Some ice would be nice, liking. Finally, a word of caution: this funeral episode. 6. Bill Gates, feeling threatened at los- but if you are planning to finish it quickly, product may contain traces of peanut and 19. Software engineers worldwide ing his title as the world's biggest nerd, ice only gets in the way. Now, if you real- other nuts. weep in loss of their greatest hero. challenges Ken to a match of Full Contact 18. Jeopardy! archivists do some Calculus. Jennings is slain in the match research and discover that Jennings gave and Microsoft's stock raises 8 points. most of his winnings in a small Canadian 2. Ken dies of suspicious causes; an incorrect response in his first episode 5. After giving him free tax services for airline company called Jetsgo. Bad move, potential assassination blamed on Pat and technically lost. life, H&R Block sabotages his tax return. Ken. Sajak and Vanna White. 17. Ken Jennings goes to Heaven, chal- Ken is forced to flee the country and dies 3. Shortly before Ken's death, Jose 1. Even after winning 2.5 million on lenges God to a Jeopardy! match, wins and in poverty. Canseco writes book about how Jennings Jeopardy!, Jennings' funeral expenses Dis promptly sent.U.S.T.E.D to Hell. 4. It turns out Jennings had invested used steroids in his record setting run. cheque bounces. Wednesday, March 30, 2005 7

ENGINEERING SOCIETY EXECUTIVE REPORTS One last hurrah at EOT Many thanks to directors you to Mary Bland. It is unbelievable how job with all of the exchange events and much work one person can do. She has parties, great effort and wonderful job; taken a lot of initiative this term, and has Sarah, Kevin, Sheel and Imraan rocked the put in a lot of extra hours to make the term house with Explorations and got to show fly by smoothly. So, thank you for all of the Elementary kiddies what Waterloo is KARIM LALLANI your superb contributions this term. CHRISTINA WATERS made of; Taneem, Francis, Erfan and PRESIDENT The last event of the term is on VP EXTERNAL Shawn kept everything rolling with the Thursday March 31st at 9:00 p.m. in different student teams, the Dean’s office ow, I can’t believe the term is POETS. It’s the End-of-the-Term (EOT) he end of term allows us to look back and our wonderful friends at FEDS; and Walready over. First off, I’d like to party! The P**5 winners will be Tand reflect on how much fun we had lastly, Will, Jeff, Matt and Zack for helping thank all of the directors for their hard announced, and the EOT video will be during the semester. It also allows me to out whenever needed and for aiding the work and wonderful contributions to the shown. It’s definitely an event that you give a huge thank you to all of my direc- blackout/whiteout event organized by the engineering society. All of you are the don’t want to miss. I hope to see you all tors for doing such a wonderful job. CREW. Thank you to all, you made this heart and soul of the engineering society. there. So, here is the thank you list….to Phil, term amazing and I couldn’t be any happi- It looks like we have another fabulous I wish you the best of luck with your Jen and Jill for making Bus Push stupen- er to have you help me out during the term group of directors for the fall term, so I’m final exams, and I hope you all have an dous; to Jen, Truck, and Pratik a huge and be part of the team. Thank you so looking forward to working with all of amazing co-op term. I’ll see you in the fall thank you for making Shadow Day such a much! you. I’d also like to send out a big thank term! Have a great summer! huge success; to Evan, Erica, Erin and I look forward to seeing all of you in Katelyn, thank you so much for reaching the Fall Semester, in which we will have out to the community and allowing the another rocking term. Have a wicked sum- Engineers to care for those less fortunate; mer, and if any of you are in Alberta, email Waiting for online critiques Janet, Karen and Wendy did an amazing me so we can get our Stampede on! Course critiques, fingers crossed, will be online in the near future. Of course, I said the exact thing last issue and we’re no nearer to having online access for the B**5 thwarted by critiques. If engineering computing KEN HANES doesn’t get their act together by the end VP EDUCATION of the term we’ll have to survive one insurance issues more term by going into the office to see Those empty spots will be available to oly crap!! The sky is falling…I the results. PD-Eng courses are starting everyone on a first-come first-serve basis, Hmean, the term is over. This is offi- up for you first year B-soc students. I so keep you eyes peeled! cially going to be the shortest exec article encourage everyone to enter into these Again, I’d like to thank everyone for a ever in the history of time. All in all, this courses with open eyes and don’t judge wonderful term and I look forward to see- term has been a success but next term is them right away. Allow time for the ANDREA RAYNER ing you all again in September. If over the going to be awesome! Now that we’ve courses to develop and hopefully every- VP INTERNAL work term you have any questions or sug- gotten rid of those pesky fourth-years, one will see the benefit of them shortly. gestions, feel free to drop me a line, me and the rest of the 06ers can take And all right, that’s it for this week. reeting and salutations once again, bsoc_vpint@engmail. over. One term as an exec done and it’s been Gfolks. It saddens me to think that this In closing, I’d like to leave you with All in all, this term has been a learn- fun, but I really truly honestly think next is the last time I’ll be talking to you all for this little bit of information: It costs .81 ing experience for myself, and I’m sure term is going to be a million and one another 4 months, but then again, it will be cents to mint a penny, sounds like a prof- that the same can be said for many direc- times better. Enjoy your co-op term, summer, so I’m sure we’ll all be OK. itable business to me! tors. I want to take this chance to thank enjoy your summer and I’ll see everyone Unfortunately, due to some insurance all of my directors who have put time in in September! issues, B**5 could not happen this term. I this term to better the engineering soci- offer you my deepest apologies, especially ety. I look forward to working with all of Editor’s Note: Actually, Ken, Dave to those that felt the letdown the hardest. you again, and at the same time I look Johnson’s article from last issue was the Truck, I’m sorry, buddy! If you feel the forward to working with some new stu- shortest exec article in the history of need to place some blame, please, don’t dents. Ok, enough of the mushy stuff. time. blame me, shake a fist at stubborn man- agers and event forms. I will try my very hardest to bring this event back in the Fall. We may need to change locations. Submit expense forms! This term went very well, I like to I do have this one concern! I am afraid thank all of my wonderful directors for a there are a lot of directors who have not job very well done. Just a reminder, there submitted their expense forms. Now the will be a director's meeting in POETS this problem with this is that eventually you all evening before the potluck meeting starts. will and it will probably all be at the same Please try and attend, as we’d love some DAVID JOHNSON time. This means a lot of work for me all feedback from you. Thanks to the Genius VP FINANCE at one time. The second problem is that I Bowl directors for putting on an awesome will probably be even slower then normal show and congrats to the Tron kids for s usual I am extremely late in sub- at getting the flood of checks out. So if coming in 1st. Did you know you can earn valuable mitting my exec report. The problem you want your money before the flood Directorship applications were due on A P**5 points for volunteering time at is that I really don’t have that much to say. waters come, please get your expense Monday. Hopefully you got yours in on the C&D? Email Mary Bland at Exciting things coming up include new forms in. time; if not, we’ll hopefully have the list [email protected] to bar stools in POETS… owoowow yaa! Last day to submit expense forms is out soon of the directors we’ve chosen, schedule your shift. And the finances are good. this Thursday March 28th… so do it now! and there are usually some vacancies.

Upcoming Events from EngSoc

Sunday Mar 27 Monday Mar 28 Tuesday Mar 29 Wednesday Mar 30 Thursday Mar 31 Friday Apr 1 Saturday Apr 2

EngSoc PotLuck Last day of lectures DUSTED, 8:00 pm Realize how little 5:30 pm, POETS for Eng’g courses DWE Cul-de-sac work you’ve done all term; start learning Check out up-to- EOT, 9:00 pm IW Editorial Board your courses the-day event POETS applications due postings on the EngSoc website at Apr 3 Apr 4 Apr 5 Apr 6 Apr 7 Apr 8 Apr 9 www.engsoc. uwaterloo.ca Laugh at the arts Last day to drop a Exams begin students who still class have class today 8 Wednesday, March 30, 2005

Debt load survey results Gin & Tronics reign 1Total responses: 472 8 Have the differential tuition Number of surveys sent: 2560 increases caused you hardship? supreme in GeniusBowl Response rate: 18% (460 responses) Yes: 43% No: 24% Not yet: 33% 2 Does your family support you financially? (467 responses) 9How much debt do you expect to Yes: 57% No: 43% be in by graduation? (460 responses)

3/4 Average cost of living for a 4- No debt 25% month... school term: $7,987 (462 responses) <$1 000 5% work term: $3,405 (409 responses) $1,000–4,999 18% 5 Have you applied for local aid or other bursaries to pay for $5,000–9,999 16% school? (467 responses) Yes: 42% No: 41% Not yet: 17% $10,000–19,999 22%

6 Have you applied for OSAP? >=$20,000 14% (470 responses) Yes & received: 30% 10 Do you usually live at home Yes & denied: 22% while at school? (470 responses) No: 47% Usually: 8% Used to: 1% 7 Do you have a loan for academic No: 90% purposes? (469 responses) Yes: 37% No: 49% Not yet: 13% 11 Have you lived at home while on work terms? (440 responses) 7a How much is the student loan? Always: 20% (238 responses) Sometimes: 50% Never: 30% IRON WARRIOR STAFF final round. Pictured above are winning $1–499 8% team members Greg FitzGerald, Nick 12 Average weekly salary while on his term’s GeniusBowl trivia contest Dyment, Sebastian Peleato, Dan Jilek, Jeff $500–999 3% work term: $572 (387 responses) Ttook place last Wednesday. One of the Loveless, and Pierre Dinnissen. most popular EngSoc events, 180 students The 4B Comps finished in second $1,000–1,999 7% representing 30 teams participated this place, trailing he Gin & Tronics by only Debt load surveys are conducted term. one point. In third place, there was a tie $2,000–4,999 24% every Winter and Spring school term The competition was intense, with last between the 3A Mechs and the 3B by the Dean of Engineering’s office summer’s winning team, the 3A Comps, Geo/Enviro team. $5,000–9,999 34% to assess the impact of the leading by one point heading into the final Congratulations go out to all the partic- differential tuition increases on UW round. However, the 2A Mechatronics ipants, and also to organizers Graeme >=$10,000 24% Engineering students. class came out of nowhere to steal the tro- Roche, Matt Strickland, and Graham phy with a dazzling performance in the Cranston for running a terrific event. Predictions: George W. Bush, President for the ages? Continued from cover Mischa Barton of The O.C. But then I will should apply to this program right away! some things that might happen in his lenge anyone who advocates the legaliza- think this is the “wrong” search, and it will c) Software Engineering is not truly remaining years: UN reform, Middle East tion of marijuana to look at the long term give the “correct” answer of the summary engineering. Please ask Norm Young, the Peace between Israel and Palestine, first side effects, and give an honest face answer of latest episode with pretty pictures of director of Software Engineering, why he new pope in 25 years, and fundamental that legalization will benefit society. Mischa Barton. said this to us repeatedly when he taught reforms in American economy (tax reform, Coming from a Chinese background, I read Also, by 2010, the term “to Google our software engineering course. social security) as it is clear the current about how uncontrolled opium addiction your significant other” means to find out 8. Lindsay Lohan and Ashton structure is not sustainable. Clearly Bush was one of the reasons why Chinese soci- their deepest secret desires, why they listen Kutcher will have been caught making out can screw things pretty badly, but if he gets ety and China went from 1st world status to to opera, and what they actually think of at some trendy nightclub. Asked about it, it right he will be a President for the ages. becoming a poor 3rd world country in the your parents. their publicist will insist, “It’s purely sexu- 11.Tuition will get more insanely 19th and 20th century. I do not think 7. When I got admitted to Computer al”. And a month later you will read on US expensive. I think it will top $6500 per Canada wants to repeat the Chinese experi- Engineering, the admission average for the Weekly, “Well, actually we did it to revive term by 2010. But while students will be ence. How many people will suffer before program was 92/93%, so only super our dying careers based on our mediocre crying they are going to die in debt, half of marijuana becomes not “cool” again? geniuses applied. This upcoming Sept, the talent, but it did turn purely sexual”. them will drive a car between Waterloo and 4. The Nasdaq stock index will rise admission average is going to be 85%. 9. There are Liberal Governments in Toronto every weekend, when gas will be to about 4000 before it crashes in “tech Based on these trends, by 2010, the admis- B.C, Ontario, Quebec, and in Ottawa. It is like $2.50/liter, the majority will own bust II”. Since it is currently sitting at sion average should be about 78%, so only unprecedented that the federal government iPods, and people will still magically have 2000, clearly I recommend you buy stocks anyone heading into community college and Canada’s three most important the money to go on that grad trip to Europe today. should be accepted! provinces are run by the same party at any right after exams are over. Disclosure: This author owns multiple On a related note, I hear no one wants one point in time. So I predict one these 12. 30 will be the new new 20. (I securities listed on the Nasdaq stock to apply to Computer Engineering any- four governments will fall in their upcom- know, I am getting there when I fantasize exchange. more, so I will quickly give a few points to ing elections. Actually, it seems likely it about being 20, as opposed to 19, 18, 17, Disclaimer: Comments and opinions the recruiters on why smart people should will either be Quebec (Jean Charest is one and 16 because I think that is too young!) offered in this report are for information come to Computer Engineering: of the most unpopular premiers in Quebec 13. There will be more (way more) only. They should not be considered as a) Computer Engineering is known history) or Ontario (Dalton McGuinty is mad cows discovered in Canada. However, advice to purchase or to sell mentioned as the Green Card Program. i.e., many about to become extremely unpopular as he Canada will still campaign the US to open securities. graduates get hired to work in the U.S after tries to fix massive deficits with massive the border to Canadian beef. When asked (I always wanted to put that in a col- graduation and get companies to sponsor tax increases or massive spending cuts) why the U.S should accept such dangerous umn. It sounds so technical and sophisti- them for permanent residency in the U.S 10. George W. Bush finally retires beef, the Canadian Prime Minister will say, cated.) (a.k.a. Green Card, only the most coveted and goes back to Texas. While the world well, “We are only sending you mad cows, 5. Microsoft will still rule the world. card in the whole world) and Canada especially celebrates in deliri- I know it destroy people's brains, but how I’m sorry Linux, Google, IBM fans, b) We should note Computer um, I bet the history books written in 2050 much dumber can Americans get? And I antitrust folks, but while Bill Gates is alive, Engineering usually is composed of 90% will remember him as one of great Yankee know people with mad cow become crazy, Microsoft will crush any and all chal- males. I do not think I will ever see quite Presidents. I cannot but notice that 72 but Americans are a mad people!" lengers. the high percentage of nerdy, dorky looking years ago, Franklin Roosevelt was The Prime Minister will profess befud- 6. Google will continue to revolu- males packed into such a small space in my President, and 72 years before that, it was dlement when the U.S refuses to open the tionize search. By 2010, it will be able to life again. This might be attractive to any- Abraham Lincoln, and 72 years before that, border. read minds. For example, by then, when I one who is attracted to nerdy, dorky look- George Washington. And somehow big 14. Iron Warrior will still have better open the Google search page, without typ- ing males. Anyone that’s desperate enough events keep happening on his watch: Sept staff, better writing, and better stories then ing it will display “pretty” pictures of to look for nerdy, dorky looking males 11, Iraq War, big tax cuts, etc. And here are Imprint. Wednesday, March 30, 2005 9 FIRST: Robots compete in 3-on-3 matches Continued from cover on Friday, the competition had been nar- rowed down to just eight ‘alliances’ of three teams each. These alliances would co-operate to achieve the goal of the com- petition—to stack coloured ‘tetras’, which look like great big D4s made out of plastic tubing, onto several ‘goals’ around the playing area before the opposing alliance did the same. During the first fifteen seconds of the match, the robots used their programmed capabilities to pick up or knock down tetras, or locate ‘special’ tetras. After that, the drivers take over, manoeuvring their robots around the ring via remote control, picking up and putting down tetras, block- ing other robots from doing so, crashing into each other, tipping each other over, and generally causing a maelstrom of metallic mayhem. The machines had a variety of ways to pick up the tetras—most had articulated arms with various hooks, bars, or appurte- nances on the end, some employed sophis- ticated crane-like claws, some used a forklift-type concept, some even looked like folding laundry racks. Each design had its advantages and drawbacks- robots with long extensible arms were more like- ly to become entangled or tipped over, and some of the shorter designs had trouble getting the tetras onto the goals. Robots were penalized for tipping other competi- PHOTO BY CHRIS HUGHES. COPYRIGHT © UNIVERSITY OF WATERLOO, GRAPHICS. REPRINTED WITH PERMISSION. tors or for violations when grabbing new the finals. tetras from the sidelines. In the first final round, still unable to With great pomp and circumstance, the load any tetras, ‘Shadow’ decided that it final stages of the competition got under- was going to stir shit up. It promptly tipped Confidentially, it rocks way on Saturday, just after 1:00. After over 1605’s robot, and proceeded to bru- EngPlay review: “You Can’t Take It With You” many epic battles, the semi-finalists faced talize ‘Jughead’, causing it to lose one of off. The alliance of Teams 40, 1605, and the balls that made up its tetra-loading past, Cesana has played characters with 1084 faced off twice against 1503, 188, apparatus. Despite being penalized ten plenty of attitudes; it certainly was a and 772, with 40, 1605, and 1084 coming points, Teams 68, 1305, and 1241 were change to see a more restrained perfor- out victorious after a lot of hard work from victorious. In the second final round, both mance from her. Yet, that never stopped Team 40’s robot, ‘Jughead’. Teams 68, teams were penalized for loading viola- her from taking you on an emotional 1305, and 1241 beat Teams 781, 1006, and tions, but Teams 68, 1305, and 1241 came CINDY BAO roller coaster ride of her own as a girl in 1334 decisively, after Team 1334 was out on top. The robots were carted off for a 3B ELECTRICAL love. unfortunately penalized 60 points for load- well-needed rest as the crowds and com- Matt Woosley did justice to the love- ing violations in their first match. By their petitors alike erupted in celebration. hat happens when you get 19 engi- struck Tony Kirby. He played the role second match, Team 1241’s robot, Other notable highlights of the compe- Wneers on one stage? If the play with subtlety and a gentle interpretation. ‘Shadow’, had experienced technical diffi- tition were the referees, including our good happens to be George S. Kaufman and If you ever wondered what it meant to be culties, and was running around without friend Ian Mackenzie, dancing the YMCA, Moss Hart’s You Can’t Take It With You, a sensitive Romeo, Woosley’s perfor- any sort of loading arm, hitting other and the judges, all respected engineers, then it’s two-and-a-half-hours of good mance was the answer. robots and trying to get in their way. It was businesspeople, or community members, laughs from an audience of 170 people. However, most of the humorous obviously a good strategy, as Teams 68, including Jan P. Huissoon of The entire story of this Pulitzer-win- moments came from rest of the cast. 1305, and 1241 came out victorious and Mechatronics, dancing around like—what ning comedy takes place in the living Evan Wilson’s Grandpa had almost child- would face Teams 40, 1605, and 1084 in else?—robots. room of the Sycamores. The household is like qualities to appreciate and enjoy life, headed by grandpa Martin Vanderhof, a while handing out the age-old wisdom of former Wall Streeter, who quit one day “you really can’t take it with you”. His out of the blue and never looked back. closing lines gave you that warm and FIRST Robotics Competition Teams Besides Grandpa’s daughter Penny fuzzy, if slightly over sentimental, feel- Sycamore, her husband Paul, their two ings. The boisterous Mr. Kolenkhov, by Number Name Location daughters Essie and Alice, and son-in- Mark Truchanowicz, had such stage pres- 40 Trinity HS Juggernauts New Hampshire law Ed (married to Essie), the ever- ence that was impossible for him to be 68 Truck Town Thunder Michigan accepting family also includes the maid overlooked. Who could hold back when 188 Woburn CI Blizzard Toronto, ON Rheba and Mr. DePinna, who showed up it came to his “It steenks”? Brooks 758 Roboticats Blenheim, ON eight years ago and never left. Turton contributed to the play a different 772 Club Sandwich Lasalle, ON With nobody but Alice holding a type of farce. The goofiness of his 781 Kinetic Knights Kincardine, ON steady job, the family members pursue a Donald lay less in his dialog than his 843 WOSS Tech Wildcats Oakville, ON few hobbies with passion at their leisure, physical performance, of which he had a 854 The Iron Bears Toronto, ON which happens to be all the time. The good timing. 886 Wildcats North York, ON slightly lunatic clan is happy in their There were occasional less-than-per- 1006 Port Perry Rebels Port Perry, ON somewhat isolated lifestyle, until Alice fect moments, mostly centered around 1084 Iron Colts Sarnia, ON becomes engaged to Tony Kirby, son of a the over-crowding of the limited stage by 1112 Huskies Toronto, ON successful businessman, and the future as many as sixteen characters. Seeing all 1114 Simbiotics St Catharines, ON in-laws come over for dinner. members of the family, each absorbed in 1188 Oaktown Crewz Michigan The inevitable clash of values creates his or her own activity, which takes place 1232 Rams Robotics Stratford, ON dramatic tension, and provokes a spec- on the stage simultaneously, can be quite 1241 Theory_6 Mississauga, ON trum of reactions among the members of distracting. One hardly knows where to 1292 RNS Joysticks Rothesay, NB both families. The cast members handled focus and just misses the cue. 1305 iceU North Bay, ON it with a credible yet comical manner. The minor flaws definitely did not 1334 OTHS robOTics Red Devils Oakville, ON The lead role of Alice rested on the overshadow an overall solid and comical 1385 The Brainstormers Waterloo, ON shoulders of Melissa Cesana, a veteran to play. The efforts of the cast and the 1503 GM Westlane Niagara Falls, ON the engineering play. She balanced out “play-nazi” determination of the two 1565 Think Tank Technologies (T3) Cambridge, ON Alice’s mixed feelings of loving her directors (as pointed out by Cesana) had 1605 George Harvey C.I. Toronto, ON entire family but on occasions being paid off generously. At the end of the 1680 Fort Erie S.S. Fort Erie, ON embarrassed by their non-conventional night, a good play like this gave you and perhaps too carefree ways. In the something to take away with. 10 Wednesday, March 30, 2005 Julian Fellows is the real snob Album review: “Funeral” All other individuals we meet in the ed drums. Once again, this track features novel appear to be manufactured from a dense violins, but they fit right in, and a few well-known moulds. Most male mem- sneaky little lead guitar works its way in. bers of the blue blood are exactly as they ‘Neighbourhood #3—Power Out’ kicks are expected to be, boring, not too bright the album right back into high gear. With an CINDY BAO and some right-in-your-face rude. Their DAN ARNOTT explosion of drums and fuzzed-out guitars, 3B ELECTRICAL female counterparts, meanwhile, are mean 2A ENVIRONMENTAL the track is a non-stop high-energy dance- while maintaining impeccable manners. able cacophony. If you’re not grooving to t was no accident when I picked up a Charles’ descending to a depressed state kay, you’re probably sick of hearing the the snare beat by the end of it, then you’re Icopy of Julian Fellowes’ 'Snobs'. After only serves to contrast Simon as yet Oname ‘Arcade Fire’ thrown around. far stronger than I. But ‘Neighbourhood all, his Oscar-winning screenplay Gosford another opportunist trying to squeeze him- And if you’re not yet, you’re going to be #4—Seven Kettles’ brings the energy back Park (on which he collaborated with direc- self into the rank. soon. This band out of Montreal has already down, with a sweet and sad tale of domestic tor Robert Altman) was every bit as deli- Slightly more intriguing is the matri- endeared itself to independent music fans stagnation. cious, and this fictional debut had some arch of the Broughtons, as she single- everywhere, and is beginning to expand its ‘Crown of Love’ is a sugary-sweet good words-of-mouth from Leah handedly attempts to pull her family sphere of influence to include ordinary waltz, dripping in violins and genuine emo- McLaren and Anne Kingston - two of my through the tidings in a stiff-upper-lip music fans like you and I. Their debut full- tion- truly a love song of epic, days-gone-by favourite columnists. However, the book manner. She's all too smart for her hus- length album, ‘Funeral’, is definitely worthy proportions… that is, until it degenerates was an utter disappointment. band and she knows it, yet manages to of all the attention this band has been get- into an unabashed disco of ABBA propor- First of all, the time is wrong. Set in perform all her lady’s duties to perfection. ting. A friend of mine said that he could tions. But this is just another interesting loop contemporary England, the aristocratic The mother-in-law is everything Edith compare it to ‘Abbey Road’ in terms of its that Arcade Fire has thrown at us, and it scandals are no longer what they were, isn’t. cohesion and effectiveness as an album. makes the track that much more interesting after the taped phone calls and endless The obsession of Fellowes’ story- While I think it’s a little early to bestow that and the band that much more sporadic. The books on Lady Di. Nonetheless, we are telling, however, is his ample knowledge praise upon it, there’s no doubt that it cer- album is full of surprises. ‘Wake Up’ begins led into the world of the lords and ladies. of the British upper class way. “I” in the tainly comes together nicely. with what sounds like a straight-up rock- Edith Lavery is a receptionist at a book, in spite of having the wrong career The band consists of a bunch of and-roll guitar riff, but soon turns into a Chelsea estate agent. Brought up as an choice according to the privileged, is ever Montreal musicians of diverse backgrounds, choral, crescendo-filled celebration of all the only child in a rather well-to-do middle so smug about actually being one of them including lanky Texan singer/guitarist Win wonders of consciousness. It is on this track class family, her sole aim for the future, as by birth. The narrator also takes such pride Butler and his brother William, Montreal that Arcade Fire comes closest to The well as her mother’s, is for Edith to marry in knowing the correct handling of every multi-instrumentalist Régine Chassagne, Beatles- the whole track is redolent of Sgt. up the social ladder. She is introduced to social group and situation, and does not Napoleon Dynamite look-alike Tim Pepper psychedelia, and it even speeds up in Charles Broughton, heir to the Marquess bother to hide his schadenfreude in the Kingsbury, drummer Howard Bilerman, and the middle just like ‘A Day in the Life’. of Uckfield, by “me”, an actor and the nar- narration when anyone who doesn’t Richard Parry on second guitar. A host of Accordion, harp, saloon-sounding piano, rator of the story. (Fellowes is in the act- belong shows social awkwardness. other bit players appear on the album, and that rockin’ guitar underneath it all. You ing profession himself, talking about alter On the other hand, those born with a including violinist Owen Pallett (a.k.a Final can almost hear the veins popping on Win’s ego.) silver spoon are portrayed as having noth- Fantasy, for those in the know). forehead as he sings “We’re just a million Earl Broughton falls for the blonde ing likable about them. They protect their The album starts off with little gods causin’ rainstorms, turning every and soon makes her Lady Broughton. The superiority by trying to exclude any out- ‘Neighbourhood #1- Tunnels’—the first of good thing to rust!” newlyweds live with the Marquess and sider from joining their caste. They make many neighbourhood-themed tracks, small ‘Haiti’ and ‘In the Backseat’ are some- Marchioness of Uckfield in relatively the silliest nicknames for one another, vignettes in song form which tell the stories what mundane, although by no means bad. peaceful Sussex, until one day, a film entirely for the purpose of casual name- of a mythical neighbourhood, giving the Regine’s vocals are celestial, and the instru- ensemble borrows their stately home for a dropping, knowing fully well those album a sense of cohesion. It’s an upbeat, mentals are solid. But in my opinion, the period drama, and our young countess removed from the inner circle have not the breezy, ethereal track, which rises to psyche- best track on the entire album is ‘Rebellion meets a B-list actor Simon Russell. slightest clue (the Lord and Lady of delic levels of energy by the end. It tells the (Lies)’. It starts out with a bass drum beat, a The story of social climbing and scan- Uckfield are known as “Tigger” and hypothetical tale of two young lovers who little guitar noise in the background, and dals is nothing new, but one at least should “Googie”.) Their bad taste in names rings wake up to find their neighbourhood cov- then the bass line comes in. Then a few notes be able to expect the characters to bring right up there with their bad taste in food. ered in snow. This song is an excellent on guitar and the solid piano chord which some freshness. The readers are out of While neither the plot nor the charac- example of Arcade Fire’s songwriting style. provides the backbone of the song, then the luck in this department as well. Edith is ters stands out in Snobs, the snobbery def- The variety of instruments they use—gui- vocals. The drums kick in, and the song definitely not Becky Sharpe. In fact, the initely takes the center stage. Most tars, drums, bass, piano, strings, accordion, reaches into your chest, grabs you by the bored heroine fails to provoke any sympa- importantly, don’t forget that the real snob organ—turns the song into a very dense, right ventricle, and takes your heart on a hell thy as the unhappily married lady led in the book is Fellowes, as he snubs both multilayered, complex composition. But of a ride. If this song doesn’t leave you down the wrong path. The book doesn't the clumsiness of the aristocrat wannabes here’s the catch—it sounds as light and sweaty, breathless, and shaking with pure even seem to have much to do with her, as and the lack of grace among the members effortless as ever, and never overpowers you emotion, well, then I don’t know what will. she has hardly made an impression. of the Society. with all its instruments. In summary, despite all the hype sur- The next tune, ‘Neighbourhood #2— rounding Arcade Fire, this album is solid. It Laika’, is a spunky track with accordion and delivers a pleasant and enjoyable listening violin melody lines over a driving beat. Win experience for indie snobs and average peo- Cindy’s Kitchen sings the verses with a Frank Black yelp, ple alike. It’s got something for everyone, chestnuts can come in cans. This dish while he and Regine harmonize the frantic and is guaranteed to touch you in ways you works well when served on white steamed chorus. Things slow down a bit on ‘Une never thought possible. This album doesn’t rice. année sans lumière’, with its bilingual lyrics, need to be Abbey Road- it is Funeral, and 1/2 pound of strip lion or tenderloin soft melodic guitar, and solid but understat- that should say it all. beef CINDY BAO 1/2 cup chicken stock 3B ELECTRICAL 1/2 cup of Jicama (or water chestnuts) Makes 2 servings 1/4 cup kosher for Passover vegetable 2 tablespoon Japanese soy sauce, or to Chicken Matzo Ball Soup oil fter 3 months of the food tour, we taste The sunset of April 23rd this year marks the 1 cup matzo meal Aarrive at the last stop, Asia. At the 1 teaspoon white sugar, or to taste beginning of Passover, about which I will 4 large eggs same time, I’d like to bid my farewell to the 1 tablespoon fresh ginger not get into details, simply because I really 1 tablespoon of salt or to taste BSoc readers, thank you for your continu- 2 stalks of green onion. don’t know much about it. However, shar- Ground black pepper to taste ing support. 2 tablespoon vegetable oil ing a recipe of matzo ball soup is fitting for 4 to 5 cups of chicken stock. Last but not least, don’t forget the 1/2 teaspoon cornstarch with 1 tbsp the occasion. 1 carrot, cut to chunks importance of healthy eating during your water mixed in bowl Matzo balls can be very easy to make if 1 medium onion, chopped crazy exam period. 1. Slice beef into strips. Peel and slice you follow the simple instructions, which I 1 celery stalk, cut into pieces Slow Cooked Beef jicama into 1⁄2 inch pieces and quarter confess I learned from the box the matzo 2 tablespoon minced parsley Courtesy of Susur Lee them. Chop green onions into 1 inch long meal comes in, and are probably for those 1. Beat eggs, then add water, oil, salt There is nothing much I can say about this chunks. Peel and julienne ginger. who don’t have a traditional family recipe and pepper, mix well. dish, except that it’s by no one other than 2. Heat oil in frying pan. Once oil is to follow. A word of advice: use a relative- 2. Add matzo meal into the egg mix- Susur Lee. Having seen other recipes by hot, put ginger and jicama in, turn down ly big pot, because once cooked, the matzo ture, combine thoroughly and refrigerate the master, this one seems especially easy. heat and cook slowly for 5 minutes. balls expand to about twice their original for an hour. Therefore, I broke my usual habit of pro- 3. Add green onions. size. 3. In a large pot, pour in chicken stock, viding my own little alterations in the open- 4. Make sure your heat is low…you The soup can be a meal all by itself, carrot, onion and celery. Bring to a boil. ing paragraphs. don't want to brown anything. Cook anoth- since it is really quite filling. To store, take 4. Wet palms with cold water, and roll Jicama, a legume, is also known as yam er 5 or so minutes and then add beef. the matzo balls out of the soup and put in a the matzo mix into one inch balls and drop beans or Mexican turnip, which to be hon- 5. 1 minute later add chicken stock. separate container. They freeze well, too. into the boiling soup, makes about 15. est, I haven’t bothered looking in the local 6. Then add soya sauce and sugar and Unfortunately, this piece of information 5. Reduce the heat to low and simmer stores. If you are using water chestnuts, cook slowly until beef cooked through. only came to me after I had the soup for the soup for 30 minutes, covered. The which are much smaller than jicama, sim- 7. Finally add a little cornstarch at a three meals in a row… matzo balls will float when done. ply slice them into 1/2 thick pieces. Water time until sauce thickens up. 1/4 cup water or chicken stock 6. Garnish with parsley and serve. Wednesday, March 30, 2005 11 Prof quotes... because profs just say the darndest things “Now things are going to get more com- either case." “Let's take a break, so you forget about the book. That's a joke.” plex... it will involve i...” —Springer, SYDE 213 (STAT 230) equations. Then we can come back and —Sedra, ECE 332 —West, SYDE 211 (MATH 218) think about them again.” “Get used to the curvy lines, it's part of —Jayaram, ECE 362 “And I don't memorize things well... so “e to the 10t...get it? Tenti! Hahaha! growing up.” clearly, I belong in Engineering.” Anyway, now evaluate the Laplace of e to —West, SYDE 211 (MATH 218) “It's pretty easy to figure out whether —Emelko, ENVE 276 the... Tenti...” you're building something.” —West, SYDE 211 (MATH 218) “Don't swear at the mechanical engineers, —Whitelaw, ERS 241 “n is the new j.” they have a hard life, but we don't want —Loucks, ECE 324 “Let's say you were at TalEng and some- anything to do with them!” “There's no way the MTO would allow one asked you to solve this DE...” —Tizhoosh, SYDE 223 tractors on a 400-series highway.” “We're assuming dumb slaves and smart —West, SYDE 211 (MATH 218) —Whitelaw, ERS 241 masters.” “If you donate millions of dollars, I think —Loucks, ECE 324 “This is too hard to prove, so in the spirit we should show some appreciation.” “The federal and provincial governments of engineering...” —Tizhoosh, SYDE 223 have been trying to harmonize for some “The bus is free! The bus is free!” —West, SYDE 211 (MATH 218) time, but it's just like two big, testosterone- —W. Loucks, ECE 324, explaining (writes on the board) THIS KLASS IS driven men in a room.” split cycle bus transfers (talking about Pi Day) VERY ESMART —Whitelaw, ERS 241 Prof: “They should give out crazy pies.” —Tizhoosh, SYDE 223 “What happened to my beloved comput- Class: “Why?” (About a formula sheet) “Scan it in, scale er?” West: “Because it's irrational!” “So you fill the address book with some it down, sell it to your classmates.” —Seviora, ECE 354 —West, SYDE 211 (MATH 218) stuff: first name, last name, phone number, —Brodland, ENVE 224 number of girlfriends, etc” “My name was read incorrectly at both my “Integral of ti ta de ti de ta... hmm sounds —Tizhoosh, SYDE 223 “I should be able to think of a relationship wedding and my convocation. So suck it like music class!” between X and Y, shouldn't I?” up!” —West, SYDE 211 (MATH 218) “This always happens in a course: we learn —Brodland, ENVE 224 —Loucks, ECE 324, while attempting to something in the beginning and when we pronounce students' names “If you have 5 aces in your poker hand, no get to the end, we find it might not be use- “You just have one of those faces that is one wants to play with you.” ful!” easy to pick on” “You must go to the science building to —Springer, SYDE 213 (STAT 230) —Tizhoosh, SYDE 223 —Emelko, ENVE 276 live in a world without friction.” —Loucks, ECE 324 Prof: “...so 1 over 13 for the aces...” “If I invented a new algorithm, tell me “May your teeth fall out and your nose Student: “There are 13 aces?” please!! So I can go publish a paper!” hairs fall in knots!” (When talking to a stu- Prof: “No, 4 over 52 is 1 over 13!” —Tizhoosh, SYDE 223 dent who did not do his homework) —Springer, SYDE 213 (STAT 230) —Dubé, FR 192A The Iron Warrior welcomes prof quote “This can be useless in many, many appli- submissions from engineering students. “You either get people squared or square cations.” “Thevenin and voltage divider will get you Email your submissions to people and I dont want to meet you in —Tizhoosh, SYDE 223 three quarters of the course. And buy the [email protected]

ARTS CORNER Implosive Editorial Board Rafee Ameen, 1B Mechanical reach for a brittle dream (but if it hurts, and if I bleed, Applications and watch it shatter: I must be alive, right?) fragments in motion resonant /~~~/ a thousand colours, a rainbow kaleido- Now Available! scope see: breakaway shards like shrapnel, shattered fragments of a brittle dream Editor-in-chief Technical editor implosive, sharp deadly broken pieces • Ultimate responsibility for • Manage IW computer hard- (of you) the operation of the paper ware and software issues beautiful, mesmerising, reaching in • Plan content, coordinate •Ensure all content is regu- sparkling shimmering edges staff, oversee layout, and larly archived to removable spinning, twisting, turning see: proofread content media •Ensure that the paper is and you the epicentre, printed and distributed on Circulation manager implosive, reaching in (waiting for the shards to reach in, cut time • Oversee the distribution of reaching for you deep) the newspaper - you, the focus Assistant editor •Work with other staff to a promise: •Assist the Editor-in-chief ensure the paper is distrib- sharp and deadly and terrible see: in editing submissions, and uted in a timely manner a promise: you, waiting initiating ideas for content cut deep and bleed dry you, hurting •The assistant editor will Advertising manager a promise: generally become EIC in • Generate and maintain the next term advertising revenue hurt /~~~/ • Obtain contracts and ad Layout editor materials • Responsible for the layout • Invoice businesses for pay- of each issue ment Top 10 Signs That Spring •Should have layout experi- ence and be familiar with Webmaster Quark/Adobe software • Update and maintain the Has Arrived At Waterloo web site Photo editor • Publish an online edition Arthur Lau, 2A Systems Design •Take photos at events on of each issue using an campus automated content man- 10. Squirrels are humping again. •Digitally retouch photos agement system 9. Waterloo is beginning to smell like shit again. and prepare them for publi- 8. Students are switching from condom hats to baseball caps cation 7. Warriors basketball team is eliminated from playoffs again 6. Delightful sight of goose droppings on the lawn reappears Apply Online 5. Number of times you slipped while walking to school drops way off 4. Air at UW is once again filled with intoxicating smell of plaza food http://www.engsoc.uwaterloo.ca 3. Profs are happier and their freaky side begins to show 2. 4B kids act freakier in anticipation of graduation Deadline: Fri, Apr 1, 4:30 pm 1. A 4B guy parades through your class wearing nothing but a thong 12 Wednesday, March 30, 2005 Chamber Choir to perform in end-of-term concert QUOC HUY T. LE selection for the program Cunningham 4B ELECTRICAL replied, “The first time I heard Serenade to Music I knew I wanted to conduct it.” The University of Waterloo Chamber Choir Serenade to Music features four incredibly is, once again, holding a concert on talented soloists. Saturday, April 2. At Waterloo North Other pieces being performed include Mennonite Church is where they will be per- two from Johannes Brahms' repertoire, John forming a variety of beautiful choral pieces. Rutter's Banquet Fugue and Healey Willan's Unlike last term, there will be no orchestra Three Songs to Music. The acapella reper- accompanying the choir. There will only be toire includes three songs written by a piano accompaniment for a few pieces, Benjamin Britten, Musick's Empire, O while the rest of the songs are sung acapella Music, Loveliest Art, Musicians Who Sing, in four to twelve part harmony. Randall Thompson's Alleluia and Daniel Each of the thirty to thirty-seven choir Gawthrop's gentle Sing Me To Heaven. members are chosen at the beginning of This term the faculty of engineering is each fall and winter terms through an audi- fortunate enough to have a large representa- tion process. This term, a set of fifteen beau- tion in the choir, with David Zach, Chris tiful secular pieces has been assembled by Lawrence, and myself from the 4B the Chamber Choir director, Richard Electrical class, Paul Ziade from Cunningham, a professional counter-tenor Mechanical, and Ray Cabrera from who has been directing the choir for over Computer Engineering. five years. The concert is on Saturday, April 2 at The program is called Serenade to Music 8:00pm at Waterloo North Mennonite in honour of the closing piece written by Church near the corner of Benjamin and Ralph Vaughan Williams, the lyrics of which Weber (just down the road from the Farmer's are taken from Shakespeare's The Merchant Market). Tickets are $5 for students and can of Venice. When asked about his music be purchased at the door. EWB and UW work to reduce global poverty MARYAM KAMGARPOUR of Social Welfare to setup 15 computer graduation rate is one achievement; being vided for donated equipments. ENGINEERS WITHOUT BORDERS training centres across the Philippines. presented with the Global Knowledge Engineers Without Borders is Canada's Currently, they are working on setting up an Partnership Youth Education award by the fastest growing not-for-profit organization, he University of Waterloo chapter of additional 12 centres and on rendering them United Nations in Geneva is another. with nearly 10,000 members having joined TEngineers Without Borders (EWB) has fully operational and sustainable. The The next phase of the SCALA Program since its founding by two University of recently embarked on a venture that blends SCALA project overseas interns bring com- is an exciting opportunity for the two UW- Waterloo students in 2000. With a mandate innovation, education and international puter literacy and life skills to the Filipino selected overseas volunteers to implement of promoting human development through development: the SCALA project. Aimed youth. This will greatly increase their these Computer Livelihood Training access to technology, it has already sent at reducing global poverty, SCALA will see chances of employability and hence, Centres with the EWB Filipino partner. To hundreds of volunteers around the world to UW coop students head overseas each year chances for a better life. Hundreds of make the internships happen, UW volun- assist with a variety of international devel- to promote human development through Filipino youth have already been successful teers are looking for donations of 50 com- opment projects. access to technology. in finding jobs after completion of this pro- puters to be shipped overseas - computers Those interested in getting involved SCALA is aimed at empowering and gram. must be at least 300 MHz, with 64 MB with the project should contact Sonya educating youth in the Philippines, over 12 The SCALA project, in which some of RAM and have a CD drive. Donation of Konzak, chapter president: sonya.kon- million of whom are currently unemployed EWB's twenty-two other Canadian chapters computer parts such as monitors, printers, [email protected]. For information regarding and out of school. Engineers Without have already participated, has enjoyed cer- and scanners are also welcomed. Charitable equipment donation please contact gotcom- Borders has partnered with the Department tain successes to date. Its astounding 97.5% tax receipts for up to $250.00 can be pro- [email protected].

the Iron Inquisition What is your worst memory of Cindy Bao, 3B Electrical Engineering at Waterloo?

Running along highway 85 after In 1A, geese beat me up and took my Need I say more? Fire extinguisher Oktoberfest lunch money —Erica Waugh and Dave Marentette —Pedro Mottda and Nick —Graham Bury, 3B Systems —Dan Arnott, 2A Enviro Solda, 1B Civil

There was that time at the Bomber… The day fifty people chained their bikes to There was that time with Fergie at the Needing to take a piss at 5am while pur- —Andrew Ferguson, 4B Mech my motorcycle Bomber… pled and chained up to a 500 lb concrete —June Lowe —Josh Levitz, 4B Mech block. —Karim Lallani, 3B Systems