Words Words WORDS Words WORDS Words WORDS Words

I wonder how many words we hear and speak in an average lifetime? Certainly more than we would have been using a few centuries ago when quietness surrounded the greater part of life, days before television or even radio came to be constantly wittering away in the background. I admit this is so in my own home much of the time. If we add to the mix the words we use inside our own heads as we think, the number would shoot up in both past and present times.

Something that has always fascinated me when I watch toddlers playing alone is how they, pre- language, are thinking, because thinking they clearly are. Also interesting is the fact that children understand what is being said long before they can speak – it’s true, so be careful what you say!

Be careful what you say. A rubric that applies to our ordinary lives certainly applies with force to those who are famous or in possession of great power as we see almost every day when we open our newspapers or check out the news on radio or television. Accusations – “You said . . . “ Denials. Counter accusations of deceit and sleaze, some deserved, some not.

The difficulty with words, of course is that they can be misheard, misunderstood and misinterpreted, even on a trivial level. I remember when I was in Manchester, someone spoke of a church member who had been suffering for years with Parkinson’s Disease and was terribly thin. “And she was such a bonny woman,” she said sadly. “I think she still looks pretty,” I said, an observation greeted with A Strange Look. It was only later I discovered that ‘bonny’ there meant ‘plump’ rather than generally attractive. Ho Hum. You live and learn and along the way some of your church members suspect you’re a bit odd, but this is only solved by using more words to start to understand one another.

None of this is new. There are warnings within the Old Testament - “Your wealthy are full of violence; your inhabitants speak lies, with tongues of deceit in their mouths.” (Micah 6:12) – and when we turn to the New Testament, there is a whole section in the letter of James on the subject of “taming the tongue,” in Chapter 3, verses 1-12. We can recognise much within it. “From the same mouth come blessing and cursing.” True, is it not?

We would like to think that good words, blessings fall from our mouths, but unless we’re perfect, other words sneak through. Weasel-words that seek to please. Little lies. A bit of gossip. The damaging half-truths.

But it’s hard, isn’t it, finding that balance between a censorious attitude and one in which anything goes? Hard to know our own motivation. I don’t know about you, but through the years I have become nervous of people who begin what you know will be criticism with the words, “I’m saying this in Christian love . . . ” I’d much rather they began with, “Look, you’re not going to like me for this but . . . ” Honesty. When I was at Grammar School, a friend of one of my friends was someone I really disliked, until one day she said to me, “I don’t like you,” and I replied, “I don’t like you either.” Truthfully, we got on pretty well after that!

I doubt the day will come when there is that kind of honesty in governments or in other bastions of power (and even in the Church?); there will be half-truths, and evasion and among the populace rumour and gossip. Pray that we see and navigate our way through all this and let our own tongues speak with honesty and compassion. It might change the world!

Thoughts and Prayer Number 57. 20.05.09. Words ©R.A.Crofton

Words can hurt and words can heal, and quietness bring peace.

Words build us up or pull us down. We might be able to mind our language when speaking to others, but how many of us say harsh words to ourselves, either out loud or in our heads? Those words carry great power to weaken us, make us less capable of facing the world. Jesus died that we need not carry that kind of shame. Forgiveness and new beginning are his gift to us.

Detail from window depicting the Crucifixion, Jesmond United Reformed Church

A prayer

Eternal, living Lord God our Father, reaching within our multiplicity of inadequate words, we speak and sing your praise. Jesus Christ, Son of God, Living Word before all words, we speak and sing your praise. Holy Spirit, giver of words to speak and silence to keep, we speak and sing your praise.

In these times when we have been restricted in our meeting with others, thank you for the many ways we have found to communicate, to grow close, even to sing, through use of new and old media, of Zoom and letters; of simple wave and thank you as we pass by strangers and friends. Help us, God who exists in perfect unity of communication, Father, Son and Spirit, to learn from the times we have had to discover new ways to reach out to others so that we might understand one another better. Forgive us, we ask, when we prefer not to understand, but to condemn.

Thank you for the times we have had to remain silent, and for the times in our lives when the quiet presence of another has helped us cope, given us new strength to live anew. Thank you especially for the knowledge of Christ’s presence with us, for the forgiveness and new life he brings.

Give to us, we pray an openness – an openness of ears and minds to hear and understand those different to us, those we find it hard to like, and an openness to hear you speaking to us through the words of people, through all we see and receive in creation, through the deep quietness that indeed brings a healing of sore and bruised lives.

As we move into a time when crowds again fill our streets and beauty-spots, guide us through this return to a normality that may feel strange to us. Help us rediscover your task for us, your word to us and if this is new, may we be strengthened to live our lives fully in accordance with your will.

Loving Father, we pray for that day when true understanding will fill the earth, when boundaries will be broken down and words of gentleness and hope, not words of anger and despair, will fill the earth. We ask it in the name of Jesus, our Living Word. Amen Blessings, Ruth