Fabulous Monsters by Diana Burbano
Draft #1 for Chapman
2014 310-437-9246 [email protected] 100 Atlantic Ave #401 Long Beach, CA 90802 Cast of Characters Sally: 17. Punk rock girl. Androgynous. Latina. Slade: Sally at 50. Still angry. Still punk. Lulu: 17 Very pretty. Ambitious. feminist. Any ethnic. Luisa: Luisa at 50. A rock icon. Steely. Kady: 17. Luisa’s pretty, complicated and conniving teenage daughter.
Nick: Ageless. Working-class. Punk rocker. Dying of liver cancer.
Scene
A Los Angeles punk club. Seedy
Time
1977-2015 PROLOGUE Sound: A roaring crowd at a rock concert: the first loud chord of a punk song is heard.
TRANSITION Blitzkrieg Bop 1977 A space that can be a music studio, a nightclub, a performance space. Graffiti on the walls, archeological layers. 1977. Lulu is sitting on the edge of a club stage. She has the number "14" pinned to her blouse. Sally enters, shy, with the number "15", which she rips off. She is in ripped up jeans and a t-shirt in contrast to Lulu’s short shorts and Mexican blouse. Lulu is a beauty. They eye each other like suspicious cats. Sally starts to pack up her guitar. LULU (calmly) How’d your audition go? SALLY: He told me to put more make up on.
LULU Are you cut? (Picks up the discarded number tag)...Sally? SALLY No. He wants me to come back later. You?
LULU I hated the fucker on sight. He stared at my boobs the whole time. SALLY: Well...
LULU Whatever. If they help me get the gig, I’ll show him my boobs. I’m Lulu (She nods at Sally’s guitar) I heard you. You play like a guy. 2.
SALLY: (annoyed) I play like a girl! LULU: GRRRRRLLLL. (Snarls back. Sally disarmed, laughs)Take a compliment, bitch! There are four acceptable types in rock. Men, women, homos and chick singers. What’s a GRRRL? SALLY: All of ’em put together.
LULU: (Flirty) You’re cute. SALLY: (Suddenly very shy.) You just want to borrow my clothes. LULU: I won’t lie. I want to knock you out and steal that jacket. (Gesturing)
SALLY: ’Army! I fixed it up with dental floss and spray paint. Nearly killed myself with the fumes, but the roaches in the apartment are gone and haven’t come back.... Cool... blouse.
LULU: Thanks. SALLY: My Abuelita has a bunch of those in her closet. They look stupid on me, but I’ll steal ’em for you, if you want. LULU: Yeah. They make my boobs look nice... SALLY (Changing the subject) I was listening at the door. You nailed that T Rex song. LULU: Do you think I’m Glam? (She gets a little too close to Sally)
SALLY I’m punk. LULU I’m Lulu. I’m into everything. Totally EVERYTHING. 3.
LULU Hey... fuck this guy and his corporate bullshit. You wanna be in a band with me?
SALLY Um. Is he corporate? His bands are good. LULU Bullshit. Plus he’s, like, 30! I can get us gigs. I make flyers and go to clubs and pass them out. (Shows one to Sally SALLY Wow. Gorgeous! LULU My dad had a stack of old girly mags under his bed when he died. My mom tossed ’em in the garbage, I rescued them and I use ’em for these flyers. C’mon. Come over to my house. We can go to Tower after. We live up in the hills.
SALLY You do? Uh. I don’t have a car. LULU Oh C’mon. I’ll make sure you get home. Where do you live?
SALLY Boyle Heights LULU: Where’s that?
SALLY (Combative) Where the Mexicans live. LULU That’s cool, baby! Thank you for not saying you’re "Spanish." SALLY (Disarmed) My parents... they are really "traditional." I was hoping this audition would make them realize that I’m serious about playing guitar. They think I’m a loser. LOU You’re not. Oh my god! You’re not. I’ve been sitting out here all afternoon, listening. You’re the only chick who didn’t do a cover song. Do you write a lot? (Sally nods) I REALLY want to make a band with you. 4.
SALLY (blushing furiously) What do you play? LULU Oh I sing. Lead. I play guitar and a little piano. And... accordion. SALLY: Ouch.
LULU Don’t make fun. Ever heard of Klezmer music? It’s old Jew punk rock. All about the accordion. SALLY No. But I hear it all the time at the goddamn Quinceñearas. Drives me batshit. LULU You can make us cool outfits. I bet you sew all sorts of shit.
SALLY You look.... like an old time burlesque queen. We could do something with that... LULU They have a ton of stuff at the ’Army on La Brea. Corsets, old coats, furs. SALLY Are we serious? You’re not dicking me around?
LULU (pointedly) Do I look like I have a dick? SALLY (Laughs.)
LULU OK then. SALLY Welcome to the start of the most fabulous punk/Glam/Kluster... LULU Klezmer 5.
SALLY ...Whatever, band in the world! They both start to laugh. Lulu lets out a rock and roll howl, Sally admiring, joins her.
Rise Above 2014 LUISA, early 50’s, walks in, with her daughter KADY. Luisa is a woman with presence. Kady is a pretty 17 year old who has recently acquired a knock out body. She is partly uncomfortable, partly delighted with the way she looks. She has a iPhone and is taking a video.
LUISA Man. This place. Still smells like sweat and Vaseline. KADY (Snapping pictures) It looks like a warehouse. Mom, stand right there. LUISA Hey! Warn me. I have to suck it in! KADY Omygod. you look great! You’re skinnier than I’ll ever be! (wandering around) This place is crazy. LUISA Can’t believe it’s still standing. I thought it would cave in an earthquake. KADY Squashed up teenagers.
LUISA Carnage in leather and aqua net. KADY (Snaps a picture, then looks hard at her mother.) You were into this? I can’t picture it. LUISA I was about your age the first time I played this place. It was my first time in a corset. I thought I would pass out. 6.
KADY Wild. Wait, talk into the camera.
LUISA: I was wearing skyscraper heels, spent around 3 hours doing my makeup and it melted away in 5 minutes. I looked like a dead raccoon at the end of the night but I felt like a goddess.
KADY (Snapping pix) Stand up there near the graffiti. LUISA We got through that first set. We didn’t suck, but we weren’t great either. Well. I wasn’t. Sally was amazing from the beginning. SLADE (off) That is the nicest thing I’ve ever heard come out of your mouth.
Slade enters. She surveys the room. She is also 50ish. Her hair is unnaturally black as is her eye makeup. She has tattoos.
LUISA (startled) Oh my god. Is it a ghost? SLADE Hey. LUISA Hey. The women stare at each other.
LIGHTS CHANGE 1977 Sally and Lulu stands at the mic. Loud club sounds. Loud music, beer glasses.
SALLY OK...Um.. So thanks for coming or whatever... (She plays a loud and snarly chord on the guitar)
LULU (Firmly.) Wait!! Wait!! All you dudes, get to the back, I’m serious. (She pushes an audience member back with her foot) Let the 7.
LULU girls come up. No, do it. This is for the girls. Come on up. Up to the front!
A voice in the crowd yells, "Bitch!" and throws a beer bottle. Sally, surprised flinches. The crowd laughs. Sally gets mad takes her guitar off, and as another bottle gets thrown she smacks it as hard as she can with the guitar. Crowd approves. Sally flips the audience off, throws the guitar back on and starts to play a loud and aggressive punk song.
LULU (Yelling over the noise) Ladies! This is for us! They launch into a very loud very punk song, pogoing and causing general mayhem. They are playing, falling into each other, laughing, clearly having the time of their life.)
LIGHT CHANGE. THE SILENCE IS DEAFENING. 2014 Slade and Luisa are still staring at each other. Kady takes the lead.
KADY (Delighted, rushing in) Hi, Slade. I’m Kady. Wow, you look taller on your album covers. I have them ALL on the wall in my room. I love the... your work with Nick Bast! I actually have them on VINYL ’cause I think you can’t really hear them on mp3s. I mean you totally lose subtleties, ya know? My dad (quick, guilty glance at mom) He gave me an old turntable and earphones from the seventies, totally redone. Everything sounds so good! I live for record store day, don’t you? I play guitar too. (pause) and drums. (pause) I love old school punk... SLADE Dude. What the fuck. Do you have an off switch? Kid. I MADE the original records, so record store day...? I fuckin’ hate hipsters. 8.
LUISA Sal. She’s excited. KADY: No, that’s cool.
SLADE What’s yer name? Katie. KADY Kady. Cadence. I’m not a hipster.
SLADE (To Luisa) Wow. Nice. Lucky she didn’t name you, like, Arpeggio or some shit. You’re... big. I mean old. Grown up, right? I pictured you as a papoose on her back.
LUISA She’s 17, Sal. This is what happens to people. They grown up. SLADE Get old you mean. LUISA What ever you want to call it. SLADE You look... (searches for the perfect word, maliciously) Magnificent. As usual. Good work. LUISA You look... you look exactly the same...
SLADE Like Keith Richard’s armpit? (to Kady) She used to call me terrible shit behind my back.
LUISA (Defiant) To your face. KADY I think you’re gorgeous.
SLADE (pause, flattered) Really? Gorgeous. Huh. 9.
LUISA You were... unique.
SLADE I’m a fucking Unicorn. Last of my kind. LUISA What are you doing here?
SLADE Hello? You asked me to meet you here. Said your kid wanted to do an article for her blog about the Monsters. LUISA I didn’t...
KADY It was me. I texted you. I wanted to meet you. Um. I DO have a blog... LUISA Kady! Damn it! KADY It’s fair game Mama! You said I could write about your early years, Slade was a huge part of them!
LUISA I thought you wanted to know more about ME! That’s the only reason I agreed.. And anyway a lot of things are off limits... especially to you!
SLADE No fear, baby, no fear. I’m clean and sober. Working on my 10 year pin. You? LUISA That’s what I’ve heard.
SLADE But you know druggies. Can’t trust ’em. They’re never REALLY clean. Are they Lulu? LUISA (pointedly) I dunno Sal. The ones I knew are all dead. KADY You’re my idol.
LUISA She knows more about you than about me. She thinks I’m boring. 10.
KADY No! You’re my mom... Slade is... the real thing. SLADE God... Awkward. I thought... I thought you asked me here to apologize to me for shit.
LUISA Apologize to you?? KADY I think it’s stupid you two aren’t talking to each other. SLADE It IS stupid. Especially since Lulu and I did manage to stay alive! We had a bass player...
KADY (clacking away furiously on her phone) ... who died of an overdose, and his girlfriend, the drummer, hung herself. The keyboard player died of AIDS. SLADE That’s just one band. KADY Teenage carnage. LUISA C’mon. Or they are accountants. And Grandmas. PUNK is what’s dead. SLADE That’s corporate of you. (Softening.) Oh fuck it. I’m not sad to see you. I even got the owners to unlock this (gestures at club) haunted house for you. I went to that TROUBLE. I’m being sincere... 17 years is a long time... it doesn’t seem that long....
LUISA No it doesn’t. SLADE Luisa. Dude. I’m... fifty.
LUISA I admit to nothing. SLADE I feel like a kid. I do. I look in the mirror and... 11.
LUISA Yeah, it’s a shock. SLADE Every time, right? So. I’m old. I... I guess. I missed you. Us. I miss us.
KADY I think you guys should get back together! (Slade nods, Luisa looks stricken) That is... Whoa.. that would be epic! Can you imagine?
SLADE We COULD do something new. Together.... I’ve always written with your voice in my head, Lulu. LUISA There’s a lot of stuff that... that you don’t know... SLADE It’s just a side project Lulu. Shit. I’m not asking you to marry me.
KADY Mom! What is there to think about!? LUISA I don’t want to do the nostalgia circuit. Old Gen X-ers breaking their hips in the mosh pit. Sad.
SLADE Old people still party! LUISA Oh Kady. Why didn’t you do this to me a couple of years ago?
KADY Mom. You are SO annoying. Slade? SLADE (smiling, she likes Kady) Kady? KADY I think you guys should at least try it out and see if it works. Mom, c’mon! You miss it! (to Slade) She makes me feel guilty. She didn’t want to tour when I was little. LUISA I was exhausted. I welcomed the break. Kady, I am going to kick... 12.
KADY Slade, Can you come over to the house tomorrow? SLADE Yeah.
KADY Cool. Bring your stuff. We’ll all just chill. Play stuff. We’ll... jam. This is epic! Luisa and Slade look at each other. They both nod, but Luisa obviously thinks it’s not a good idea. Live Fast Die Young Slade and Sally are on stage together. Back to back. They play. Sally drinks out of a flask. SALLY Live fast die young, leave an excellent corpse.
SLADE Live fast, get old, be a walking corpse. SALLY Downer man.
SLADE It’s just the truth baby. I survived 27. Then 37. then 47. I’m a holy relic. I should be dead. SALLY You would be less of a drag if you were. (drinks)
SLADE You should slow down with that shit. SALLY You’re not my mother.
SLADE That’s my fucking liver you’re destroying. SALLY Shut up. I don’t care. I’m having fun.
SLADE Fine. (Impressive guitar lick) 13.
SALLY Dude! Show me how you did that! SLADE Figure it out bitch. I’m not your mother.
Sally approves. Girls girls girls. 1978 Dressing room before a show. Lulu is doing Sally’s make up. Sally is fidgeting, has the guitar in her lap LULU There. Just eyeliner. That’ll pop. This venue is huge! SALLY Hey. I... finished that song. The one... I’m not sure about the bridge...
LULU You wanna rehearse it? We can put it in tonight. SALLY Oh no. I don’t wanna sing. I’m not the singer, you are.
LULU Sally! Geez... Stop rubbing your face! You’re ruining my work! SALLY I want you to sing it. I wrote it for you. About you...
LULU: (Laughing, light) You’re so weird! What about me? What a bitch I am? Can I read it?
SALLY I can’t write things down. They come out wrong. LULU I’ll buy you a tape recorder! That way you don’t have to write. SALLY No! You buy me too much stuff! 14.
LULU I like to do it. Those Chucks you had were falling apart. You deserve to have a few nice things.
SALLY Um.(All business) So, there’s an expression my Abuelita used to use. "Eres mi media naranja." LULU: Mi Media Naranja. My orange sock? SALLY (Laughs) No. The other half of my Orange. It sounds stupid in English...
LULU: It doesn’t. It sounds sweet. Sunshine and sugar. They stare at each other. Is that the name of the song?
SALLY My Abue used to sing this in Spanish. I’m a pretty shitty translator though... She starts to sing and play "Mi Media Naranja." A punch and a kiss. A magic fire spell. My soul’s childhood. wild and wounded. The shadow wall pulled back, beyond desire and act. skin,like my skin... girl I....
Sally stops embarrassed No, it’s totally stupid. Fuck it. I’m sorry. (Stands) LULU: (Gently) It’s beautiful Sal. Really. Keep playing. Sally, blushing furiously refuses. 15.
SALLY I’m going to... I need something to drink. (exits fast.) LULU (singing) Shadow wall pulled back.... beyond desire and act. (Looks to where Sally exits) Shit. Wow! Shit... Heart of Glass 2014
KADY: (on phone) Yeah, I’ve been Googling her all night! She’s freakin’ unreal!
SLADE: (From off) Hello? White rabbit? KADY: Who is that?! Slade?
Slade enters. She surveys the room. She kisses Kady who is thrilled, puts down her guitar case. You came! You’re here! (Realizes she’s still on the phone) Excuse me. I can’t talk anymore Terry. No. NO. No I will not ask her... SLADE Ask me what? (takes phone)...are you Googling me? Yes, I did slice my belly open with a broken beer bottle... no it didn’t hurt until the next day... I was really fucked up at the time kiddo, I don’t know.... OK. Slade works the phone, poses for a selfie with her middle finger outstretched, sends it, ear back to phone. OK? Ciao. KADY You just made Terry’s life. I’m glad you came.
SLADE: I’m glad you asked. Slade squints at her surroundings. She should be wearing glasses, but she’s too vain to put them on. 16.
SLADE: (Really looking at Kady) You raided her closet... (gesturing at Kady’s outfit) That dress was from the "Golden Hair" album cover.
KADY: She says it doesn’t fit her anymore. She CLAIMS to have gotten fat. She put all of these things in a bag to Goodwill. I took what I wanted, and my friend Terry and I put the rest on eBay. We made a ton.
SLADE: This is quite a spread. KADY: Horses, chickens, and goats.
SLADE: I’m not the Topanga Canyon type, I’m pretty sure Freddy lives here. (Off Kady’s puzzled look) "Nightmare on Elm Street"? Classic film! Murder and mayhem? (Sighs) Don’t make out with anyone in a car, OK?
KADY: I wanted to live in Malibu, but they don’t allow goats. SLADE Can’t imagine why. Wheres Lulu?
KADY She’s at Pilates. SLADE I’m early? Bizarre.
KADY: No, I wanted to hang out with you on my own before Mom got back. I hope that’s OK... SLADE ...Yeah. It’s OK. KADY (Can’t contain herself) It’s amazing to have you here. I dressed like you for Halloween last year. Terry dressed as Nick. We went to WeHo and A MILLION people took pictures with us. You guys were so hot! SLADE: What? We’re...Ha! He’s not hot. 17.
KADY Oh my god. If I met him. I. Would. Die. SLADE You didn’t die when you met me.
KADY I did. Oh I did. I’m a good actress. I felt like crying. SLADE How old are you?
KADY 17. SLADE Shouldn’t you be into Katy Perry and Lorde, or some shit?
KADY OMG please! (in an enthusiastic rush) You were THE LA scene... Punk and glam. Romeo and Juliet. Sid and Nancy
SLADE (laughs) Oh shit. (pleased) Is that the legend? (gestures for Kady to go on)
KADY Inseparable. Androgynous. Beautiful. SLADE Hilarious! Fucked up...
KADY Nick OD’d on heroine in Hollywood. SLADE: Yeah, In the dressing room at The Masque.
KADY: (in a rush) He had violent convulsions and died in your arms. You freaked out and slashed your wrists open with a broken glass. The room was covered in blood and vomit when the paramedics got there. So romantic. (She stops. Waits for Slade to speak. then, breathless) Our costumes were that. You guys on the cover of "Greed and Gluttony" covered in blood. And Terry had needles sticking out. 18.
SLADE That shit is FUCKED up. (pleased.) Print the legend, I guess.
KADY My dad thinks the two of you are the bomb. He has all your tour shirts. Had. I stole them. SLADE: (Changing the subject) Who’s your dad? KADY: (Changing the subject) My dad? He’s cool. He’s on tour with Judas Priest in Germany. I think. (Gets a text on her phone, it’s Slade’s guitar riff from the previous scene) Terry wants to know if we can pose together, so he can post it on our band’s Instagram.
SLADE If you want. (Kady gets uncomfortably close to Slade. Kady snaps a selfie) KADY Hashtag, #legend. (looking at Slade carefully) So good! Luisa enters in a tasteful work out suit.
SLADE: Hello, Jane Fonda. LUISA The old jokes are the best.
SLADE How the hell do you still look so good? LUISA: Not according to People magazine.
SLADE: Fuck ’em. People love you. LUISA: That’s not love.
SLADE: Not love? You burn up iTunes with an album of covers and you’re not loved? 19.
LUISA: It’s not my thing. SLADE Love’s not your thing.
They stare at each other again in silence. Slade picks up a guitar and messes with it. LUISA Did Kady get you something to drink? SLADE I don’t drink anymore. LUISA A soda or some juice or something. SLADE Oh. Water is fine. LUISA Kady, will you get that? KADY Yes... Master... (smiling at Slade and making gestures to the effect of "isn’t my mom dumb?")
LUISA And bring me a glass of wine. Kady exits How was the drive?
SLADE I may have run over a couple of rattlesnakes... LUISA I love this place. I always wanted to be a rancher. SLADE A rancher with a music studio to rival Neil Young’s. LUISA I don’t ever have to go into town. And if a session goes late, there’s plenty of guest rooms. Kady’s dad put it together for me. SLADE Are you and Kady’s dad still together? 20.
LUISA Oh god, no. No. SLADE This is a gorgeous house.
LUISA Yep. I earned it. SLADE Yeah. Top 40 will do that for you. (icy silence) LUISA So if people actually BUY your music, it sucks? SLADE You said it, not me. Icier silence, Kady renters, senses the drama and starts talking. KADY I’m psyched, when was the last time you were onstage together? Goes to look on her iPhone. SLADE Put the phone down, for fuck’s sake. You don’t have to look it up. I can ACTUALLY tell you. The last time we were onstage together? Some fundraiser single for hungry rhinos or something. LUISA Hunger relief in Africa. SLADE Whatever, I didn’t get paid. Lulu had a solo. Totally anemic piece of shit. (pointedly) But it got into the TOP 40.
LUISA I need to change my clothes. Luisa leaves.
KADY (admiring) You drive her crazy. SLADE Yeah. We were embryos together. 21.
KADY What broke up your friendship? Nick? SLADE Maybe. Maybe not. (She pointedly stops talking and plays something on the guitar) KADY Do you want to play something?
SLADE Like? KADY Here, I know this, I sing it with my band (Starts to sing Mi Media Naranja.)
//The wall of shadow drew back,....// SLADE Hey. Not that. You sound like Lulu, you look like her too.
KADY I know. It REALLY cheeses my mom off. TMZ posted these pictures of us.... It wasn’t cool. Mom had just been to the gym and was all sweaty... I TOLD her, don’t go out looking crappy if you don’t want your picture taken! Plus they said something about how I had grown into a little beauty...Mom was pissed at me for weeks. SLADE: She used to love being looked at. KADY: Do you? SLADE: Shit. Of course. Being looked at is great. Like, you put on your feathers and show off your weirdness. No one woulda given me a second glance otherwise.
KADY: Are you kidding? I wish someone would look at MY feathers. SLADE: It’s an effed up reality show world. Who wants to look at real people? KADY: Mom’s been offered one of those shows. I wish she would do it. 22.
SLADE: Be serious kid. Your mom is the original clam. Things go in and she pushes them down, down into her soul, never to come out again. Once upon a time people appreciated a little mystery.
KADY: I think she doesn’t want people to look at ME. SLADE: Dude, it’s tough when your little baby looks like a Pin-up girl. KADY: Ohmygod. Gross. Really, Pin-up? SLADE: Are you kidding me? You’re a babe. Hey, promise me you’re not going to start puking up your food. Your mom used to do that and it stunk up the bathroom something fierce. KADY: Ew! Slade... So TMI.
They look at each other. Attracted. Luisa enters with a glass of wine. LUISA: What’s TMI?
KADY AND SLADE: (caught in something) Nothing.
LUISA I’m excited to hear what you’ve been working on Sal. (She sits expectantly staring as Slade and Kady) SLADE (Defensive) I’m not here to audition for you MS ROGERS. LUISA I’ve got nothing you’d want to hear.
KADY That’s not true Ma, you’ve been writing. SLADE I’d love to hear what you’re working on. 23.
LUISA It’s nothing you would like. SLADE I’m willing to be open. With you.
LUISA Are you wooing me? (pause) You hate what I do. SLADE The easy listening shit, yeah.
LUISA (Mad) Why are you bothering with me? SLADE Am I bothering you? I’ll go. (Slade starts to exit) KADY Wait!
SLADE You are better than the shit you put out. It’s cute and all, all these American standards... LUISA They are damn good songs!
SLADE Yeah and I’m bored with them. You don’t want to do the nostalgia circuit? You weren’t even born when those songs were hits!
LUISA Don’t parade your ignorance. SLADE A musical? Really?
LUISA Yes. Really. It was a hit. SLADE All thanks to your super stardom.
LUISA I don’t give a shit. I am willing to take risks, get rejected... 24.
SLADE See that’s what is SO FUCKED UP! You are never rejected! The public loves you, whatever the fuck you do! You could do an album of kiddie songs...
KADY She did. SLADE (dangerous) Whatever. It’s not the best you can do. Not by a mile.
LUISA (also dangerous) You play at, what, Grand Prix’s, and County Fairs now, right? You finally want to go legitimate? Ride my coattails? Why else would you be here? How dare you question my choices?! She stands, gets very shaky, sits down hard again. SLADE Are you drunk? KADY (rushing to her mom) Ma, are you OK?
LUISA I’m fine. I’m dizzy. SLADE Jesus. It’s a little early.
KADY Slade! My mom is... LUISA Fine. (stops Kady from speaking) I’m fine. My blood sugar must be low. Can you get me something to eat sweetheart? KADY (reluctant to leave them alone) Are you sure?
LUISA She only looks tough. SLADE Christ.
Kady exits. 25.
SLADE Ok. According to my AA sponsor, who by the way is a huge asshole, I’m supposed to be impeccable with my word, whatever the fuck that means... The reason I agreed to meet you in the first place..., I am flat broke. On my ass broke. And I need a lot of money, right away. History repeating. LUISA Are you paying off a drug dealer?
SLADE (snorts, laughs) Sort of. LUISA I hear your stuff on TV all the time.
SLADE (grimly) Sold the rights. For a lump sum. It’s tied up. And I can’t afford to sue.
LUISA Royalties? SLADE Pennies from online radio, some new tracks. Not much.
LUISA You must get SOMETHING. SLADE T-shirts and merch. I did some fashion mash ups, that brought in a bit. Not a lot. You know what the biz is. LUISA Jesus Christ Sally. How did you let that happen? Didn’t you pay attention?
SLADE I didn’t give a fuck about contracts. I tried, but, being a retard... LUISA Its a learning disability.
SLADE Whatever. I couldn’t make heads or tails out of it. LUISA You’re a child! 26.
SLADE I was drunk. Or high. For a long time I was high. All I gave a shit about was being onstage. Yes, fine, Lady Bountiful, I want a ride on your coattails, but I’m offering you a chance to be authentic again.
LUISA You don’t get to talk to me like that. You don’t have that privilege. SLADE (abruptly) Nick has cancer. It’s in his liver, his lymph nodes. Deep in his bones. He can’t pay for treatment. He’s got no one to take care of him. God knows he made enough enemies. And now he’s dying.
LUISA Nick is sick? SLADE Yeah. I went over to see him, and I found him on the floor. He couldn’t get to the phone. I moved him in with me.
LUISA Oh my god. SLADE Now the asshole is dying in my living room.
Kady enters. LUISA I’ll help you. Tell me what you want me to do.
SLADE I don’t know. What am I supposed to do? What am I supposed to do without Nick? LUISA We’ll figure it out. We’ll figure it out. Luisa puts her arms around Slade. Slade resists, then melts in. Kady grabs her phone and takes a picture of the two women. Posts it. 27.
Tigers on Vaseline 1977 Sally is outside the club and very cold. She’s surrounded by her equipment and looking around annoyed.
SALLY: (singing to the tune of "Sweet Jane") Sweet Je-sus, OOhh, Sweet Jesus....
Nick Bast appears. He is beautiful. His knuckles are bleeding. SALLY: Are you...
NICK: Yes. Bruised? Slightly. SALLY: The way you get them going. It’s like you’re their supreme leader.
NICK: Bah. It is far too easy. With these sorts. They are vacuous, my dear. That is their greatest sin. They bore me, I incite them to riot. They try to murder me. I am less bored.
SALLY: That music. It’s that music... it makes us feel...It was. Awesome. NICK: (Amused) Awesome? What are you, 12? SALLY: 17.
NICK: Ah. A beautiful age. SALLY: I wanna play. With you.
NICK: Is that a proposition? SALLY: No. I mean I play. Guitar. I play guitar. We opened the set. I know you guys got here just before... I guess you didn’t hear us? 28.
(Nick shakes his head) I’ve been playing with your cassettes. To cassettes of you. Playing. My amp is pretty cheap, tho’ so I cant make that (Imitates crunchy guitar sound, then embarrased.) Love that sound. NICK: It’s a pedal. Pete Cornish. You can’t afford it. What cassettes?
SALLY: Awesome, yeah um, I’ve been to all your gigs here in LA. And I’ve made a bunch of tapes. NICK: You bootlegged me?
SALLY: But the way you play? Fuuuuuuuck. That’s what I want to do. (Guiltily) I’m not selling them or anything, it’s just so I can play along.
NICK: I see. SALLY: Are you pissed?
NICK Always! SALLY (laughs) I mean in American. NICK: I suppose I should be. I have only your word that these baubles, these gems I have laid at your feet aren’t going to end up for sale out of the trunk of your car. Your nose is running. SALLY: Oh. (wipes it with her sleeve) I. Uh. I don’t have a car. NICK: Would you like one of my cigarettes? SALLY: Yes. Thanks. 29.
NICK: Would you like... to come to my hotel room? Out of the cold? You can stay warm and keep company with me besides. SALLY: Oh! Oh. I... NICK: What are you calling yourself today, my dear? SALLY: I’m...Sally. NICK: Sally? (Looks closer) Sall-y? SALLY: I’m calling myself Slade. But, I’m Sally. Really. NICK: Are you... Please don’t take this the wrong way, you compelling little creature. But... are you a boy or a girl?
SALLY: Does it matter? NICK: Perhaps not.
They stare at each other. Nick lights a joint. Offers it to Sally. Lulu rushes out with her guitar case, a suitcase, and trailing glitter.
LULU Hey, sorry! I’m sorry it took so long. I think Belinda stole my red heels! Gonna kill that... (Stops when she sees Nick) Oh... hi!
I saw your show tonight. You were great, as always. NICK: How lovely. Thank you.
SALLY My ride’s here. NICK: I hope to see you again soon. You should consider keeping that new name. It’s very punk. 30.
He walks away LULU OH! Was he talking to you? Nick Bast? Holy crap!!! SALLY Uh. Yeah, I guess. We were chatting. LULU He’s fucking beautiful. SALLY Is he? LULU You’d do him. You know you would! SALLY C’mon let’s go. I’m hungry. LULU Did you invite him to the next gig?? SALLY (abruptly) I don’t know. Let’s go.
Lulu stares as Sally walks away fast. LULU God, sometimes you’re an idiot! He could totally... Bitch... wait! Don’t get me wrong if I’m looking kind of dazzled. 2014 Nick is lying on the couch. Slade enters. Stares at him. Nick opens an eye. Stares at her for a second. Closes it again. After a bit. NICK: The cat came back.
SLADE God, it’s rank in here. NICK: Hitting fifty hard hasn’t softened you up at all has it darling? Look at you. Arms like cables. Still taut. Still my beautiful young boy. 31.
SLADE: Not if you get too close. He catches her face and looks at it.
NICK: I like the lines, babydoll. They are from a life that’s been attacked, grabbed by the balls. That’s the life you were meant to live.
SLADE: You look terrible. Let me make you something. NICK: No, stay here. Let me smell you. I missed your scent. (Inhales) You smell like leather. Sweat. And something sweet. You still smell like a kid. SLADE: Teen Spirit? NICK: Lady Stardust. SLADE: You’re an idiot. They sit. You haven’t been eating. NICK: I’ve decided to burn away the carnal part of my soul and enter heaven as pure as George Harrison. Someone came today to make a delivery. I told them to fuck off.
SLADE That was your Gretsch! I sent it to McCabes to get tuned up. NICK Bah. Don’t bother. It’s yours anyway. Pick it up when I am worm food. SLADE: Nicky. That axe is worth a bundle.
NICK: I don’t care. I am dying. SLADE You asshole. (She starts to well up.) 32.
NICK Before you start sobbing like a schoolgirl, I am not a little embarrassed to admit I have a sore that does not seem to heal.
He shows her. It’s pretty bad. She sucks in her breath, but contains herself SLADE I’ll find something.
She exits NICK Thank you my angel. Angel of death. What would I do without you? (sings, mashing up the tunes) Earth angel, earth angel, of the morning Angel, angel eeeyyyes... His eyes start to shut as he sings, he winces, sings louder, nonsense syllables. Slade re-enters. SLADE Here. She sits carefully next to him. He lies down with his head on her lap. She turns him. lifts his T-shirt. It smells a bit. She gently cleans. Fuck. Nick. This is bad.
NICK: It’s a strange situation I find myself in. After all of these years trying to stay clean, now the needle beckons. And there is no earthly reason to refuse its siren call. (amused/annoyed) Why are you crying?
SLADE Cause you smell like shit. I saw Luisa.
NICK: And... how is the little vixen? SLADE If you die... 33.
NICK ...When I die...
SLADE I don’t want to be alone. NICK: Your insatiability is boring. (He shudders.) I’m cold, cat.
SLADE (Covers him with a blanket.) We’re just talking. Probably nothing will come of it. Her kid’s a cutie though. NICK: Excellent. So you WON’T be lonely.(He starts to sleep) SLADE I don’t want to corrupt her. NICK: Corruption is the natural state of the American teenager. (Yawns) SLADE (Sings quietly, a made up on the spot Lullaby) I’m not you baby... I’m not you. I haven’t got your charm, I’m not in your arms, I’m not you... NICK: Whats her name? (drifting off)
SLADE Cadence. NICK: Rhythm. Tempo.. (falls asleep)
SLADE (softly) And she’s Lulu all over again....
She sits stroking Nick’s hair. Ever Fallen In Love (With Someone You Shouldn’t’ve) Lulu and Sally are laughing and drinking out of paper cups. They have a bottle of Vodka. They have their arms around each other. They are really, really drunk. 34.
SALLY I am so drunk. I can’t feel my nose. Gimme some more. LULU (Toasting) Here’s to... Europe!
SALLY Here’s to... Japan! LULU Here’s to... Vivienne Westwood! SALLY Hey! The stuff I make isn’t good enough for you anymore? LULU Of course it is! But when she asks me to model for Vogue, I can’t possibly refuse. SALLY What about me?
LULU You’d have to do something about your skin, Dracula’s Daughter. SALLY (hurt) It’s getting better. LULU Yeah, quit picking at it, you’re going to get scars. Hey! Don’t get mad! We are gonna make a record!
SALLY We need to be smart about signing ANYTHING. You have to read it to me. Like, twice, THE WHOLE THING! People like us get screwed over all the time.
LULU C’mon, Sally. They like us enough to pay for a recording session! We can’t be bitchy about it. Yet. SALLY I should rewrite the chorus, it doesn’t make that much sense right now LULU I’m going to buy a ’vette. Lipstick Pink. And have huge gorgeous Muscle Beach guys for bodyguards 35.
SALLY Meatheads. Gross. LULU Please, it’s just for show. Maybe they can carry me onstage...like elephants.
SALLY I don’t know. I mean, a record deal is cool and all, but... LULU But what, shit for brains? (She hugs Sally. Kisses her. Kisses her harder. Breaks away. Casually:) You worry too damn much. SALLY I do?... (goes in for a deeper kiss. Lulu deflects her.) LULU Grabby, grabby. (Gets up.) Hey, I’m going out with Nick Bast tonight after the show. Is that cool with you?
SALLY (Hurt) You’re going out with Nick Bast? LULU: Yes! He asked me to be his arm candy. I’m going to SEDUCE him. (Stares at Sally) Just kidding. He’s yours, huh, Sal? SALLY He’s not mine. He’s... LULU God. Sal! I’m just joking. He’s at the Whiskey. I’m going to try and talk to him. Come with me. We could open for him on tour. SALLY You go. Tell him hi for me. LULU GOD! SALLY I need to finish this song. Maybe I’ll come hang later ok? Are you coming home tonight? LULU: (Laughs) I hope not! (Exits) 36.
Sally reaches into her guitar case, pulls out a little bag of pills. takes, two. Swallows them dry. Takes Two more. Starts to play. Turns on her tape recorder.
Lady Stardust Lulu and Luisa on stage. They sing: LULU AND LUISA In secret we met- In silence I grieve, That your heart could forget
Your spirit deceive. If I should meet you. After long years,
How should I greet you? With silence and tears. If I should meet you.
After long years, How should I greet you? With silence and tears.
Exploding guitars. Virgina Plain 2014 Luisa and Slade are in Luisa’s studio. Luisa is at the Mic. They are playing together. It is not very good. Luisa is not cooperating. Slade gets progressively more annoyed. LUISA Can we take a break? SLADE Dude. We just started. 37.
LUISA I need to use the bathroom. Luisa exits. SLADE Fuck!! She takes out a pack of nicotine gum and puts a bunch of them in her mouth. Keeps noodling, annoyed on the guitar. Looks up and Lulu enters. She is singing the song from the previous scene. Slade watches her. Then: KADY (entering) Wow. You guys sound awful. Lulu fades out SLADE No shit. She doesn’t want to be here. KADY That’s not it. I swear... (She pokes at her iphone, a song starts to play; a country tune) "What is it you want from me..." SLADE (Joins her, very twangy) "Your evil heart"
Slade sings harmony with Kady. They jam for a while. It sounds good. Luisa walks in with a glass of wine. She is clearly displeased to see Kady and Slade singing together. LUISA You sound nice.
SLADE Kady sounds nice. I’m just backing her up. KADY (They stop playing) Mom, you’re tired. Why I sing for you? 38.
LUISA No, I’m fine. I’m ready. Luisa sits at the piano with Kady. Slade picks up her guitar and starts playing.
SLADE We can start with "In Shackles" Remember that one? LUISA Of course. SLADE Go ahead. Luisa attempts the opening . Her hands are shaking. Frustrated, she hits the mic. KADY It’s OK, mama! I’ll sing for you!
SLADE Luisa, clearly you don’t want to do this. It’s obvious. LUISA I agreed to do it. I want to do it. I just can’t.
SLADE Yeah. You hate me so much. You can’t even BEAR to play music with me anymore. Used to be that was the one thing we could agree on. LUISA Slade, Jesus, not everything is about YOU for crissakes. SLADE You should slow down on the drinking.
LUISA That’s rich, coming from you. SLADE Your hands are shaking.
LUISA (laughs bitterly) It’s not from drinking. SLADE Then what? Are you scared of me? 39.
LUISA I’m scared. KADY Mom.
LUISA I am Kady. I’m scared. I’m tired and I’m scared SLADE What the fuck are you scared of?
KADY SLADE! Mom’s sick! LUISA Kady, dammit!
KADY Mom, why are you hiding it? LUISA I don’t want everyone knowing my business!!
KADY She’s sick, Slade. Really sick. She has been for a few years. SLADE What’s wrong with you? KADY She shakes. Tremors. LUISA I can’t control my hands anymore. And my voice, my voice is iffy. SLADE Tremors? From what?
LUISA I thought maybe it was nerve damage or I don’t know, carpal tunnel, but it’s... tremors... that’s the diagnosis. KADY: She can’t control them. That’s why she won’t play in public. LUISA I can sing, but when I can’t sing anymore... I’m going to lose notes on both ends. I won’t be able to control my vibrato. And my breath... 40.
SLADE Jesus. Was it... the eighties? (makes a surreptitious gesture to her nose.) LUISA Maybe. Probably. I don’t know. It could be hereditary. KADY Really? Shit. SLADE Everyone gets sick and dies. And I stay alive. Like a vampire. LUISA Dracula’s daughter.
SLADE Fuck me. Poor you. LUISA I must be working out one hell of a past life.
KADY You guys need to go out on tour before it gets... Maybe... what if... I play? I know all your songs, Mom, you can sing. I’ll play for you! Sing backup. It can be the three of us! SLADE (starts packing up her guitar) I think I have to go. KADY What! Why?
SLADE I got some things to think about. I’ll call you. (Grabs Luisas hands. Feels them shake.) I gotta go. (Exits)
KADY Wow. LUISA Useless. Useless.
KADY I’m sorry mama. I really thought it would help. To see Slade again. I thought... 41.
LUISA Why am I being punished?
KADY I don’t know Ma. LUISA It’s gone, K. Me. I’m gone. If I can’t play music anymore, who the hell am I??
LIGHT CHANGE Nick and Sally are playing together. Laughing. Lulu enters, stops. Not happy to see Nick. There is drug paraphernalia scattered LULU I though you were in New York... NICK Congratulation, Miss Rogers. Your debut album is selling very well. LULU (takes a long fingernail and dips it into a jar aroud her neck) Thanks. The label is happy. I need to change... SALLY: We get back on the road next week! NICK I did wonder though, why our girl got relegated to the back cover? SALLY Oh, Fuck it right??
LULU The label said that it would be better branding. NICK Executive shits. (drinks Vodka) You’re playing is sublime little one. Gets better and better. Kisses Sally’s finger calluses much to Lulu’s annoyance. SALLY (Uncharacteristically happy) Aw. MAN. Thank you! And... Thank you... for the tapes you sent. I’ve been working on them. 42.
LULU Working on what? SALLY Nick sent me some stuff to listen to. Bands from out of London.
LULU Why didn’t you play them for me? SALLY It was... I just... I never got around to it. (Sniffs loudly) LOU Bitch. I bought you that tape player.
NICK Lulu... (He looks at her, gets momentarily distracted.) My. You are a beautiful girl. LULU I know that.
SALLY (Grinning) So fucking rude right? NICK Baby. You’re almost... Too much... This (gestures around him) is a put on for you. LULU A put on?
NICK Rock and roll. You are a doll. What men want do to you... And women. (Looks at Sally) LULU You’re a sexist piece of shit. People don’t DO things to me. I allow it. Or not. NICK I should thank you for allowing me, then. You’re... a beautiful face, darling, you’re a face. In a pocket Venus body SALLY Nick! Allowed you? When? 43.
NICK You’ve certainly managed to convince the plebes that there’s more to you than tits. LULU Am I in your territory Mr. Bast? They yell as loud for me as they do for you. Louder actually... NICK I’m trying to be helpful.
LULU You’re a misogynist. NICK No. I hate everyone equally.
LULU Good to know. NICK Except for my long tall Sally. I’ve come to propose something to you Sally darling.
SALLY (Stops breathing.) What? NICK I want you to play. For me. With me. Join my band LULU She’s my lead guitar! NICK She’s wasted on you. You don’t need her. I’m sure you’ll have no trouble getting musicians. LULU Are you poaching my band? You treat me like a goddamn groupie and then you poach my band! SALLY Wait! I’m not the band. I’m your best friend, right?? NICK Little Slade. You write everything, play lead, yet according to perception, you are "The band." Tour with me. I’ll make sure you’re taken seriously. We’re opening in Kreuzberg. At the SO36 club 44.
SALLY (Shock and Excitement) IGGY was just there!!! LULU She can’t go. We have dates booked. NICK At the junior prom? LOU We are supposed to play up and down the coast. We’re booked in San Francisco! The Mabuhay gardens! NICK Dear me. Alert Malcolm McLaren.
LULU Sally! NICK (A charmer) Slade. I want you with me. I don’t want to leave you for 8 months. You’ll forget me. SALLY Never. LULU (Finally getting the picture.) Are you guys... Are you guys, together? Are you? SALLY No.
NICK Not yet, anyway. He runs his finger straight down Sally’s body. She shivers. Looks very confused. LULU After the other night, I could have sworn you were a fag. NICK Any port in a storm. LULU (Pointedly) That’s flattering to both of us, isn’t it Sal? 45.
NICK I want her. SALLY Jesus. I can’t breathe.
LULU She’s mine! NICK She’s her own girl.
LULU (Tough, but vulnerable) Take both of us. NICK You’ll get over your schoolgirl crush. You’ll blossom. (to Sally) I’ll be at the Cat and the Fiddle, baby. Come find me. He kisses Sally hard. Nick exits. Sally and Lulu stare at each other.
LULU How long have you been fucking him? SALLY We’re not. It’s not. DEFINITELY not...
LULU Liar. LIAR. A guy? over me? How could you? SALLY He’s not just a guy! He’s going to be the biggest thing since Bowie. And he wants ME to play for him. LULU You’re in my band. You ARE my band. Jesus. We’ve been together since we were 17!
SALLY I... I do write everything Lu. Why the fuck am I on the back of the album cover? LULU I’m the singer! SALLY you’re the sex symbol. You’re the one. When they mention me it’s always as a fucking afterthought! 46.
LULU You don’t think it’ll be that way with Nick? He’s an egotist. He’s just trying to hurt me. SALLY How long were you guys...? LULU Long enough. SALLY Yeah. LULU If you go now, It’ll break contracts. What am I going to do? SALLY I’m sorry Lu. LULU Fuck. Go. Go with your low rent Jagger. I SHOULD go solo. People tell me that all the time. People throw songs at me!
SALLY Don’t be like this.... (Pause. Breathes out.) I love you. LULU You wouldn’t fuck me over if you did.
SALLY I mean it. LULU Yeah. (Rolls her eyes) Duh. I know. Everybody knows. It’s embarrassing.
SALLY He’s not going to break my heart... Like you. LULU Yeah? How do you know? SALLY I love you Lulu. LULU Sally. It isn’t exactly FUN having you around all the time, making that goddamn sad face. SALLY Fuck you. You slept with Nick... 47.
Lulu stares hard at Sally. For a long time. She Kisses Sally. Runs her hands up Sally’s sides just like Nick did.
LULU Do whatever you want. BLACKOUT Johnny Hit and Run Pauline
Kady is waiting outside, texting furiously. The phone pings and hoots. She carefully arranges herself in the lens and takes a pouty Selfie. Slade comes out, sees Kady, watches her. SLADE Are you more or less vain than the average teenager? KADY (Jumps) I’m not vain! I’m maintaining an online presence. SLADE I see.
KADY I’m trying to build my fan base. SLADE What are you doing here?
KADY I want to talk to you. I want to apologize for how everything went down yesterday. SLADE: How’d you track me down?
KADY I googled AA meetings near your house... SLADE What the fuck ever happened to "anonymous?" KADY Are you pissed? 48.
SLADE Always. I walked all over town last night. I’m sad at how cleaned up Hollywood is. You can’t even pick a fight with a bum for fun anymore. Although, I’m so fucking old I’d probably break my wrist punching him.
KADY Must be fun to be in a fight. SLADE It’s a rush. When it’s not just you getting beat up.
KADY Who beat you up? SLADE Is your phone off?
KADY (guiltily turning it off) Yes. SLADE My dad used to whale the shit out of me. First for being stupid and doing badly in school, then for not being girly enough. I always wished I had the balls to punch him back, but he was still my DAD. KADY My dad would never lay a hand on me. SLADE One of the first shows we ever played, I called a guy a cocksucker ’cause he was saying disgusting things about Lulu. And called me an ugly dyke. He was in the front row, so I whacked him as hard as I could with my guitar. I probably coulda killed him except I was drunk and my aim was off. KADY Weren’t you scared?! SLADE Nah. The guy jumped on stage before the bouncer could get there, and hit me, and I hit him back and then it was like high school, just rolling around trying to hurt each other. But I hit him first. And it felt good. KADY I’d be scared of breaking something. 49.
SLADE I was already pretty broken... So. KADY Can... Can we go somewhere and talk?
SLADE Right here seems ok. KADY Please? Someplace warm? (Slade pulls out the nicotine gum and sticks a bunch of them in her mouth. She nods.) Swing Life Away
Nick is asleep on the bed, in his clothes. He looks dead. Slade walks in, sleepy eyed in a mans tank top and simple underpants. Her legs have bruises on them.
SALLY Nick. Wake up. Fuck. We’re late. Nick! He stirs. Looks up blearily. NICK Where are we? SALLY I don’t know, Cleveland. NICK Where’s that? SALLY The US. Somewhere. East-ish. We’re playing at the Agora. NICK Rita the barmaid. With the beautiful breasts and the hands of a goddess? SALLY You ran on the tab last night.
NICK Someone paid. SALLY Who? 50.
NICK Rita. She paid me. SALLY (laughing) She got change from me. (Shows him a hickey.)
NICK (Sitting up and grabbing Sally, stroking her like a cat) Cat cat cat... (purrs into her ear)
SALLY Not now! we have a gig. NICK Ugh. Boring Sally, fucking boring!
MEANWHILE: Lulu at the mic with a guitar. Onstage in a very crappy club, you can tell no one is listening to her, she’s singing to the crowd. Her song fades in and out over the next couple of scenes. LULU The dew of the morning so cold on my brow- It felt like a warning Of what I feel now.
LIGHTS CHANGE Hotel Room: St. Paul Nick is catatonic. He is sitting in darkness. Sally is talking rapidly, manic to an unseen person. SALLY No, Dude I don’t know what he took. We had a little of everything. I don’t think he shot up.
NICK (retches, nothing in his stomach) 51.
SALLY He was... Nick was WITH that kid two nights ago. He got into the show. Really young. Fake ID. Nick... Look, I don’t ask what he does. he doesn’t ask what I do. I don’t know! No. He’ll, I’ll get him to go to the police station. No, he’ll go. Please. Don’t send anyone! Let me clean him up. NICK (Very, very high.) Poor little baby.
SALLY Nicky. You have to go. Before they arrest you. NICK Terrific publicity. Dead kids always make terrific publicity.
SALLY It wasn’t your fault. He was depressed. NICK He was beautiful. Like you Sally, fragile, young, and so sweet. That little soul. I could have touched it. SALLY We have to go. The police want to question you. You didn’t do anything wrong.
NICK I didn’t do anything right either. LIGHTS CHANGE A different, better venue. People are listening, cheering for her. Lulu sings: LULU Your vows are all broken,
And light is your fame; I hear your name spoken, And share in its shame.
LIGHTS CHANGE: AUSTIN Sally plays along with Luisa. She looks fairly sober. There is drug paraphenalia everywhere. She clicks the tape recorder off. Goes to put 52.
the guitar down, but can’t, knowing that the the only thing to do, is to do more drugs. And she’s tired. Nick walks in. Casually scrapes some powder into his nose.
NICK I should marry you Slade. I should. And you should wear trousers and I a dress. The press would dig that. SALLY People don’t say "Dig". NICK It WOULD ruin my reputation as the Queen of queens. SALLY Oh fuck off Nicky. Isn’t there someone else you’d like to fuck with on this tour? NICK When I was 17 my mother took me to the doctors office. I had been exhibiting signs of "poofiness." Large bloke came and grabbed me, strapped me down to a bed. My excitement was misplaced, though. Because mother had contracted with this, DOCTOR, to stick electrodes to my head. To shock the HOMOSEXUALITY out of me. SALLY Jesus. NICK No, he never appeared. Mother was protecting me, she claimed. I became a drooling idiot for a while. When the fog lifted, I stole her fur, her makeup case and 20 bucks. I hit the streets. SALLY (Quietly... looking down at her guitar, strumming) I was 14. It was a huge party for my sister, and we kids stole a bottle of tequila, and I was passed out on a bed and one of my uncles... I woke up with him on top of me. It hurt. I never told anyone that. NICK Secrets... Pour them into your music, my cat. SLADE Do you really want to marry me? 53.
NICK (Wryly) Oh Yes. The shock will kill my mother. LIGHTS CHANGE
Luisa onstage, a huge stadium venue, the crowd is screaming. Flashes pop. They sing along LUISA They say your name to me, A knell to my ear; A shudder comes o’er me-
Why were you so dear? They forget I know you, I know you so well-
Long,long do I rue you , Too deeply to tell. Luisa acknowledges the huge crowd.
LIGHTS CHANGE I Wanna Be Your Dog 1997 1997. A coffee shop on the strip. Slade is smoking.
Luisa enters, watches Slade for a moment. She’s pregnant, in full bloom. She’s healthy. LULU Hi bitch. SALLY Lulu? Hey, Lulu. Holy shit. Slade rapidly puts out the cigarette. Blows the smoke out away from Luisa. You’re so big!! 54.
LULU I’m due in a month. SALLY Holy shit. Do I know the dad?
LULU Any port in a storm...(changes subject). Welcome back SALLY Thank you.
LULU Still filling the clubs? SALLY Mostly. Some canceled dates. Nick likes to keep it interesting. LULU You sounded amazing. You’re making sounds on that guitar, I couldn’t even begin to figure out.
SALLY Which show did you see? LULU New York
SALLY Jeez. This year has gone by fast. LULU You guys killed it. You were tight.
SALLY Whatever. We’ve been together a long time. Break up, make up, break up. Touring. LULU Yeah. I’m pretty done with it. I need roots. SALLY I saw your face in every record store. Staring at me. All over the world. I missed you.
LULU Did you draw mustaches on my pictures? SALLY Uh... No? 55.
LULU (Laughs, then.) Where’s his Majesty? SALLY Dude. He still parties. Really, Really hard. I don’t know what or who he’s doing.
LULU You guys are still together. SALLY We shoot each other up. That’s how we make love nowadays. LULU Sal. I’m not doing drugs anymore. SALLY Obviously. LULU No. I got pregnant. I was stupid. I thought I could, "take care of it". But I couldn’t do it. I, I don’t know if the baby will come out OK.
SALLY Why did you keep it?! LULU It’s not an it.
SALLY I need you. LULU I can’t really see you anymore. Until you get clean. Get clean, please. SALLY I don’t think I can. LULU Ok. Don’t call anymore. (Goes to leave) SALLY (Stops her) Do you have any money?
LULU You just got back from tour. You must have buckets of money saved up. 56.
SALLY I pawned my guitar.
Lulu looks at her disdainfully. LULU That’s pretty fucked up of you. SALLY I couldn’t look at it anymore. Can I come home with you? LULU No Sal. You can’t. Why don’t you go see your mom? SALLY I’m not sure where she lives anymore. Last time I saw her was at my sisters wedding and she told Nick she had no idea what he was doing with a loser like me. LULU You DO need a bath. You probably need to be fumigated.
SALLY I’ve been wearing these leather pants for about a month straight. LULU Fuck Sal. You pawned your guitar? SALLY I didn’t want to look at it anymore. Let me stay with you. I can help you with the baby.
LULU (after a long beat) Sally. I was glad you called. I thought we could... It’s too sad.
SALLY I need a clean place to sleep. Where the dragon can’t find me. LULU Go back to Nick. Tell him not to call me anymore either, OK? Unless you do get clean. And maybe not even then... (Lulu leaves) SCENE Same restaurant. 2015 Kady takes Luisa’s place. Slade, without her ever present guitar, can’t stop fidgeting with her hands. Kady is caught mid speech. 57.
KADY ...I’ve been in love with you since I was 12!! I heard your music, my dad was playing your record, I had to go over right then to see what it was. He showed me the cover. It was crazy. I looked at you, looking so mean and hard, and your eyes were so deep. And it was like, I KNEW you. That music looked into my soul. SLADE At 12?
KADY Absolutely. It was the first time I... (Blushes furiously) You so knocked me out. Dad gave me the LP. And I read everything I could about you. SLADE Kady. I’m, god, I’m. I’m really old. KADY I don’t care. (kisses her. Slade pulls away) SLADE Stop. I’m barely hanging on to sobriety as it is. KADY (Calmly moving forward. She grabs Slade’s fidgety hands) What made you stop?
SLADE I turned 40. I... I don’t know. It calls me. All the time. But. So does playing. Onstage. There’s no great defining moment. I couldn’t look at myself anymore. Quit. Got an asshole for a sponsor. Pretend to pray to god for acceptance. It works OK. KADY But if you don’t believe in it..?
SLADE Mostly I like being around people more fucked up than me. Makes me feel good. KADY I’d love to meet Nick.
SLADE Terrible idea. KADY Well... I want to go to your place... (Kady looks pointedly at Slade. She 58.
leans in for a kiss. Takes a beat. Leans in again.) SLADE (Stops her) Does your mom know?
KADY That I’m in love with you? SLADE That you’re gay. KADY I’m not. Slade releases her hands.
SLADE (Startled) You’re not? KADY I’m not. I’m in love with YOU. Today. SLADE Today. You’re in love with me. KADY Yes. I am. SLADE And tomorrow..? KADY (Kisses Slade very hard.) Can I go home with you? SLADE Oh my god. I REALLY don’t understand kids today... (Slade kisses Kady, cautiously.) Lulu. KADY Whatever. She won’t know.
SLADE (Closes her eyes and breathes in.) You smell like... dirt and lavender. (Looks at Kady.) I’d have to have a heart for you to break it. 59.
KADY How come you never... Hooked up with...? ARE you gay? SLADE I’m a guitar player. The axe rests on my pubic bone so when I play, it feels like making love.
KADY I couldn’t care less if you were a boy or a girl or a guitar.
SLADE Nick was the same. (She kisses Kady.) Beautiful. Shit. Teenagers. Why do you have to be so beautiful? Kisses her harder. Kady melts into Slade, as Slade’s eyes are closed, Kady pulls out her phone, and takes a picture. No 15 in D minor 2014 Slade’s apartment. Nick is asleep on the couch. He is so thin he looks like a pile of clothes. Luisa comes in. She looks around and thinks she is alone. She crosses to the turntable and turns it up.
NICK And an angel appeared before him. Luisa jumps. LUISA Christ... NICK No, just me. Slade is out. (Looks at her) LUISA You are so thin. How did you not get fat after getting sober? NICK I never got sober. I got cancer. The fucking little neoplasms killed what taste buds I had left. You are still so, so very beautiful. LUISA Please don’t screw with me today. 60.
NICK I like you larger. Very much Lady Bountiful. Can I touch them? LUISA God, Nick. How are you still such a prick? NICK I pride myself in not being a fucking bore, thank you. LUISA I’m glad. That means I don’t have to be nice to you. NICK Your bitchiness has always turned me on. LUISA You could never handle me. NICK. Neither could Slade. Poor, poor cat. LUISA She loves you. NICK God knows why. (Rambling.) What did I ever do in this world, but play some music? What is fame when one is leaving the body behind...?
LUISA (Looking at) Please shut up. (Makes a decision) Have you seen this? (Shows him her iPhone.)
NICK I can’t see anything but a pleasantly flesh toned colored blur. LUISA It’s your Iron Maiden and my daughter. NICK Gracious! Let me borrow your glasses. (Luisa hands them to Nick, he peers at the small screen.) Dear, dear... Children nowadays... what is that little text there?
LUISA It says TMZ. It’s a gossip site. Like the Enquirer. Only faster. Much faster. 61.
NICK (Grabbing the phone and poking it) Damn. I think it went away... (Pokes it more. We hear Siri) IPHONE How can I help you? NICK Here Barbarella. Find it again. LUISA You saw it. NICK Yes, indeed. Rather delicious. LUISA No. It’s not. It’s a horrible joke. The universe is playing a horrible joke on me. NICK Oh my dear. no publicity, bad publicity etc...
LUISA I DON"T WANT PUBLICITY ANYMORE!!! (She starts to shake. Has to sit.) I did everything for Kady. NICK Not the best thing to do for any child. Ask my mother. LUISA You’ll be happy to hear, I’m falling apart. Look: (Shows him her shaking hands)
NICK (Gently takes her hands in his.) That doesn’t make me happy. Age is cruel, capricious and unblinking. Our children betray us. Ask the gods.
LUISA There are no gods Nick. There is only us. Rock and roll gods. Brought down to earth. (She tries to stand. Can’t.) NICK We’ve become normals dear. I’m a dying old man and you are an ill and unhappy mother. What a soaper. Slade however... (pokes at the screen again) is still alive. Very alive, by the evidence. SCENE CHANGE 62.
Kady sits at the piano and plays: "Mi Media Naranja." Her style is totally different from Slade or Luisa’s. Very modern. (Whatever that means!)
KADY A punch and a kiss. A magic fire spell.
My soul’s childhood. wild and wounded. The shadow wall pulled back, beyond desire and act. skin,like my skin... mujer, who I loved and lost.
Mi Media Naranja. Mi Media Naranja. Eres tu, eres tu. Mi Media Naranja.
Mi Media Naranja. Eres tu, eres tu. Search and Destroy 2014 Nick is asleep. Luisa is trying to clean the mess. Slade in comes through the door, does a double take. Breathes deep. SLADE I don’t let housekeepers in anymore. They steal stuff.
LUISA You’re disgusting. Truly. SLADE Lulu... I’m sorry. That’s not fair... fuck.
LUISA The pictures... SLADE I told her to shut the phone off. 63.
LUISA I should hit you. SLADE Do it.
LUISA No. It’ll make you feel better. (a silent stare down) Kady has lost her mind. Her dad called me from Budapest this morning. He wanted to know if it was a put on.
SLADE I... didn’t think it was. LUISA What the fuck, Sally?
SLADE She... LUISA Don’t fucking tell me she seduced you. She’s 17.
SLADE Fuck me. Your kid had this planned. She went after me. She’s not dumb. LUISA Does she hate me? SLADE Oh god no. No.(Pause) Lulu, she’s not that innocent. I know you want to protect her...
LUISA I know that. Men have been looking at her since she was 12. More than that. SLADE More...? LUISA Yes. I had a Christmas party when she was 14. I caught her coming out of the bathroom with some rapper.
SLADE Shit. She loves me. She said so. LUISA She probably thinks she REALLY is in love with you. Because you are everything I’m not. Edgy, dangerous. Authentic. 64.
SLADE She wanted to know. Things. LUISA Fuck.
SLADE No! Things about US Lulu. You and me, not just me. I told her everything. LUISA I really don’t want to hear you talk about my daughter. I don’t. I’m so angry at the both of you I feel like I’m going to die. I hope YOU get arrested. SLADE It’s inevitable. Lu, I’m sorry. I am. But I believe her. I believe Kady, that she loves me right now. and I need love. LUISA You need it but you don’t let anyone who loves you get too close.
SLADE She was really mostly interested in hearing about you. She doesn’t know ANYTHING about you, because you refuse to tell her. So I told her everything. LUISA That I was an evil bitch who did everything I could to win? SLADE That I fell in love with you that day at that stupid girl band audition.
LUISA I fell in love with you then, too. SLADE No you didn’t...
LUISA I’m NOT lying to you. When I met you, I felt that same electric charge. SLADE But you didn’t love me back. LUISA Oh bitch. I did. I did love you back. With my entire heart. You were the only other person I knew who felt the same way about music as I did. What do you think love is, you idiot? 65.
SLADE (Wryly) I wanted to DO things to you. LUISA Yeah, and I didn’t. But that doesn’t mean I didn’t love you. I missed you so much. I missed talking to you, playing with you. Writing songs with you. None of that had anything to do with sex, but EVERYTHING to do with love. YOU left ME for... him...
SLADE I’m not sorry. It was too hard to be with you. And he loved me enough. (Hiding her face from Luisa) You wanna smoke a joint...?
LUISA You’re on the wagon!! SLADE It’s medicinal. Nick gets a prescription. It’s just pot! Shit if you can love me without sex, I can smoke pot without being addicted. Slade expertly lights the joint. Nick awakens, startling the women. He looks like a wraith.
NICK (singing) Forgive me if this doesn’t make the most sense. My hands float in the air of their own volition, reaching for the music that I heard in my twilight time. I’ve been dead before. A dead junkie, dead enough to watch my body be packed into an ambulance. Dead enough to enjoy it. I liked being dead. I feel nothing but relief that the end is nigh and I am going back to the place that felt like the first 10 seconds of a hit.
He moans. There is blood. Slade blows pot smoke gently into his face. Psycho Killer 2014 Luisa and Slade are on either side of Nick. He is making signs in the air with his hands. There is a camera set up. 66.
SLADE It’s amazing how much shit they give you if you claim it’s for for hospice care. She produces a needle, a piece of tubing. A spoon, a lighter. LUISA Hospice didn’t give you THAT. You’re going to kill him. SLADE He wants ME to do it. Fucker. He thinks its funny. I hope he thinks its funny. I think it’s awful. I told him I’d probably get jail time, but he’s so sick... LUISA I couldn’t even put a dog down.
SLADE Sweet revenge for all the shit he gave us. LUISA I should... Kady should be here.
SLADE You can’t call her. Takes out Kady’s phone. Takes a picture of Nick. I stole her phone. Let’s keep this between the three of us. OK? She posts the picture.
LUISA OK. Picks up a guitar. Strums. She’s not shaking. Does he believe in god?
SLADE Nah. He doesn’t. Dead is dead. LUISA And you?
SLADE Dead is dead. I wish I had a faith to think that he was going somewhere, that he was returning to the stars. Maybe his energy will go somewhere. 67.
LUISA (sings) The dew of the morning so cold on my brow-
It felt like a warning Of what I feel now. SLADE You sound beautiful. (sings) SALLY AND LUISA Your vows are all broken,
And light is your fame; I hear your name spoken, And share in its shame.
NICK (Eyes still closed) Up a half-step... (They modulate) SLADE AND LUISA AND NICK AND LULU (singing, Nick plays on an imaginary guitar. ) They say your name to me, A knell to my ear;
A shudder comes o’er me- Why were you so dear? They forget I know you,
I know you so well- Long,long do I rue you , Too deeply to tell.
They sit. Nick tenses and winces. SLADE You don’t have to watch. 68.
Slade ties Nick’s arm. Slade prepares the needle, searches for a vein that isn’t collapsed. Finds one between his fingers. Shoots him up. He relaxes. Slade holds his hand. They sit. For a long while. Luisa plays. SLADE Go, you fucker. Go... NICK I don’t believe in god. Or dog, or karma, or cleansing or light or good thoughts. But I know that when I die I will never hear your sweet voices again. And I can’t bear that. I’m willing my heart to keep beating... SLADE AND LUISA (Singing) Why were you so dear?
They forget I know you, I know you so well- Long,long do I rue you ,
Too deeply to tell. suddenly both women feel the, "whoosh", of his soul emptying the body.
Luisa plays the guitar. Slade checks to make sure Nick is dead. She closes his eyes. Kisses his finger calluses the way he kissed hers long ago. Sing louder Lulu. She leans into Nick, kisses his mouth, sucks in, and like someone holding pot smoke, holds him there. Then she breathes out. Free. Help me. LUISA What? 69.
SLADE Grab under his arm. They hoist him into a sitting position. Slade puts her guitar in his lap. His mouth hangs open. Slade takes the strap off her guitar and wraps it around his head. Grabs her phone. Takes a picture.
SLADE (Typing) ...R I P Nick Bast... (To Luisa) Kady showed me how to use Instagram.
Posts it. In three beats the phone starts to ping, furiously, Slade turns the sound down. LUISA (Grins) God. You are so Punk Rock. They sit next to him. Slade takes another selfie of the three of them. Luisa shakily extends her middle finger. So does Slade. They put their arms around each other. Free Money 2016 In the studio. Slade tinkers with her iPhone. She’s wearing an ankle monitor. Luisa enters. She has a cane. She sits. LUISA Did you send the tracks to Kady?
SLADE She’s got them. I forget if she’s a day ahead or a day behind. LUISA Text her.
SLADE Call her. 70.
LUISA She should call me. SLADE (Rolls her eyes.) Kady says sales are huge. I can’t wait. Tokyo is the BEST
LUISA I can’t believe this day has arrived. SLADE (Holds up her leg.) Thanks to your fancy lawyer, I will be free in two days. This is it, baby. Your farewell tour. If you end up Peggy Lee’ing it in a wheelchair, so be it. LUISA With Kady on a mic up front? I will be standing even if I have to hire two muscle guys to hold me up. SLADE Vanity, thy name is...
LUISA "Time Out" is calling us the grand dames of punk rock. SLADE Did you hear the NPR review? it opened with: "Punk rock is still alive, it just has a more reasonable bedtime." (They do a take.) SLADE That’s pathetic. LUISA Not any more pathetic than making the cover of AARP. SLADE I don’t fucking care. Labels are for blue jeans. I want to play in front of a crowd, even if I am old enough to be their grandma. You don’t feel old onstage. Trust me. LUISA I do. I think. SLADE Wanna see something? She pops open her guitar case, takes out a bag of what looks like sand. It’s pretty heavy. I’m going to leave him in hotel ashtrays. Maybe give little baggies away. Although I’m think the fans would probably 71.
SLADE snort him. I found a couple of pieces of bone. Had them set into a necklace. (Shows her)
LUISA That’s his DNA. SLADE Maybe I should let Kady have it? (Long beat.)
LUISA Maybe you and Kady should do this without me. I have stage fright. I look awful. My voice is going to go. SLADE We will be there. To back you up. And probably, so will he. (They are joined onstage by Sally and Lulu. They plug in.) Let’s take it from the top and... 5,6,7,8! Crashing guitar chord. Music starts to swell, loudly, insistently, a crowd roaring. A loud exciting concert is heard. Bright lights wash the stage out. THE END