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Burbano Fabulous Monsters.Pdf Fabulous Monsters by Diana Burbano Draft #1 for Chapman 2014 310-437-9246 [email protected] 100 Atlantic Ave #401 Long Beach, CA 90802 Cast of Characters Sally: 17. Punk rock girl. Androgynous. Latina. Slade: Sally at 50. Still angry. Still punk. Lulu: 17 Very pretty. Ambitious. feminist. Any ethnic. Luisa: Luisa at 50. A rock icon. Steely. Kady: 17. Luisa’s pretty, complicated and conniving teenage daughter. Nick: Ageless. Working-class. Punk rocker. Dying of liver cancer. Scene A Los Angeles punk club. Seedy Time 1977-2015 PROLOGUE Sound: A roaring crowd at a rock concert: the first loud chord of a punk song is heard. TRANSITION Blitzkrieg Bop 1977 A space that can be a music studio, a nightclub, a performance space. Graffiti on the walls, archeological layers. 1977. Lulu is sitting on the edge of a club stage. She has the number "14" pinned to her blouse. Sally enters, shy, with the number "15", which she rips off. She is in ripped up jeans and a t-shirt in contrast to Lulu’s short shorts and Mexican blouse. Lulu is a beauty. They eye each other like suspicious cats. Sally starts to pack up her guitar. LULU (calmly) How’d your audition go? SALLY: He told me to put more make up on. LULU Are you cut? (Picks up the discarded number tag)...Sally? SALLY No. He wants me to come back later. You? LULU I hated the fucker on sight. He stared at my boobs the whole time. SALLY: Well... LULU Whatever. If they help me get the gig, I’ll show him my boobs. I’m Lulu (She nods at Sally’s guitar) I heard you. You play like a guy. 2. SALLY: (annoyed) I play like a girl! LULU: GRRRRRLLLL. (Snarls back. Sally disarmed, laughs)Take a compliment, bitch! There are four acceptable types in rock. Men, women, homos and chick singers. What’s a GRRRL? SALLY: All of ’em put together. LULU: (Flirty) You’re cute. SALLY: (Suddenly very shy.) You just want to borrow my clothes. LULU: I won’t lie. I want to knock you out and steal that jacket. (Gesturing) SALLY: ’Army! I fixed it up with dental floss and spray paint. Nearly killed myself with the fumes, but the roaches in the apartment are gone and haven’t come back.... Cool... blouse. LULU: Thanks. SALLY: My Abuelita has a bunch of those in her closet. They look stupid on me, but I’ll steal ’em for you, if you want. LULU: Yeah. They make my boobs look nice... SALLY (Changing the subject) I was listening at the door. You nailed that T Rex song. LULU: Do you think I’m Glam? (She gets a little too close to Sally) SALLY I’m punk. LULU I’m Lulu. I’m into everything. Totally EVERYTHING. 3. LULU Hey... fuck this guy and his corporate bullshit. You wanna be in a band with me? SALLY Um. Is he corporate? His bands are good. LULU Bullshit. Plus he’s, like, 30! I can get us gigs. I make flyers and go to clubs and pass them out. (Shows one to Sally SALLY Wow. Gorgeous! LULU My dad had a stack of old girly mags under his bed when he died. My mom tossed ’em in the garbage, I rescued them and I use ’em for these flyers. C’mon. Come over to my house. We can go to Tower after. We live up in the hills. SALLY You do? Uh. I don’t have a car. LULU Oh C’mon. I’ll make sure you get home. Where do you live? SALLY Boyle Heights LULU: Where’s that? SALLY (Combative) Where the Mexicans live. LULU That’s cool, baby! Thank you for not saying you’re "Spanish." SALLY (Disarmed) My parents... they are really "traditional." I was hoping this audition would make them realize that I’m serious about playing guitar. They think I’m a loser. LOU You’re not. Oh my god! You’re not. I’ve been sitting out here all afternoon, listening. You’re the only chick who didn’t do a cover song. Do you write a lot? (Sally nods) I REALLY want to make a band with you. 4. SALLY (blushing furiously) What do you play? LULU Oh I sing. Lead. I play guitar and a little piano. And... accordion. SALLY: Ouch. LULU Don’t make fun. Ever heard of Klezmer music? It’s old Jew punk rock. All about the accordion. SALLY No. But I hear it all the time at the goddamn Quinceñearas. Drives me batshit. LULU You can make us cool outfits. I bet you sew all sorts of shit. SALLY You look.... like an old time burlesque queen. We could do something with that... LULU They have a ton of stuff at the ’Army on La Brea. Corsets, old coats, furs. SALLY Are we serious? You’re not dicking me around? LULU (pointedly) Do I look like I have a dick? SALLY (Laughs.) LULU OK then. SALLY Welcome to the start of the most fabulous punk/Glam/Kluster... LULU Klezmer 5. SALLY ...Whatever, band in the world! They both start to laugh. Lulu lets out a rock and roll howl, Sally admiring, joins her. Rise Above 2014 LUISA, early 50’s, walks in, with her daughter KADY. Luisa is a woman with presence. Kady is a pretty 17 year old who has recently acquired a knock out body. She is partly uncomfortable, partly delighted with the way she looks. She has a iPhone and is taking a video. LUISA Man. This place. Still smells like sweat and Vaseline. KADY (Snapping pictures) It looks like a warehouse. Mom, stand right there. LUISA Hey! Warn me. I have to suck it in! KADY Omygod. you look great! You’re skinnier than I’ll ever be! (wandering around) This place is crazy. LUISA Can’t believe it’s still standing. I thought it would cave in an earthquake. KADY Squashed up teenagers. LUISA Carnage in leather and aqua net. KADY (Snaps a picture, then looks hard at her mother.) You were into this? I can’t picture it. LUISA I was about your age the first time I played this place. It was my first time in a corset. I thought I would pass out. 6. KADY Wild. Wait, talk into the camera. LUISA: I was wearing skyscraper heels, spent around 3 hours doing my makeup and it melted away in 5 minutes. I looked like a dead raccoon at the end of the night but I felt like a goddess. KADY (Snapping pix) Stand up there near the graffiti. LUISA We got through that first set. We didn’t suck, but we weren’t great either. Well. I wasn’t. Sally was amazing from the beginning. SLADE (off) That is the nicest thing I’ve ever heard come out of your mouth. Slade enters. She surveys the room. She is also 50ish. Her hair is unnaturally black as is her eye makeup. She has tattoos. LUISA (startled) Oh my god. Is it a ghost? SLADE Hey. LUISA Hey. The women stare at each other. LIGHTS CHANGE 1977 Sally and Lulu stands at the mic. Loud club sounds. Loud music, beer glasses. SALLY OK...Um.. So thanks for coming or whatever... (She plays a loud and snarly chord on the guitar) LULU (Firmly.) Wait!! Wait!! All you dudes, get to the back, I’m serious. (She pushes an audience member back with her foot) Let the 7. LULU girls come up. No, do it. This is for the girls. Come on up. Up to the front! A voice in the crowd yells, "Bitch!" and throws a beer bottle. Sally, surprised flinches. The crowd laughs. Sally gets mad takes her guitar off, and as another bottle gets thrown she smacks it as hard as she can with the guitar. Crowd approves. Sally flips the audience off, throws the guitar back on and starts to play a loud and aggressive punk song. LULU (Yelling over the noise) Ladies! This is for us! They launch into a very loud very punk song, pogoing and causing general mayhem. They are playing, falling into each other, laughing, clearly having the time of their life.) LIGHT CHANGE. THE SILENCE IS DEAFENING. 2014 Slade and Luisa are still staring at each other. Kady takes the lead. KADY (Delighted, rushing in) Hi, Slade. I’m Kady. Wow, you look taller on your album covers. I have them ALL on the wall in my room. I love the... your work with Nick Bast! I actually have them on VINYL ’cause I think you can’t really hear them on mp3s. I mean you totally lose subtleties, ya know? My dad (quick, guilty glance at mom) He gave me an old turntable and earphones from the seventies, totally redone. Everything sounds so good! I live for record store day, don’t you? I play guitar too. (pause) and drums. (pause) I love old school punk... SLADE Dude. What the fuck. Do you have an off switch? Kid. I MADE the original records, so record store day...? I fuckin’ hate hipsters. 8. LUISA Sal. She’s excited. KADY: No, that’s cool. SLADE What’s yer name? Katie. KADY Kady. Cadence. I’m not a hipster. SLADE (To Luisa) Wow. Nice. Lucky she didn’t name you, like, Arpeggio or some shit. You’re... big. I mean old. Grown up, right? I pictured you as a papoose on her back. LUISA She’s 17, Sal. This is what happens to people.
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