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+  +.  



                          9:  :      ,  . ;        

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&)   A3 )         E = ) *   )G()3        EE %    &*'I))

 % INTRODUCTION

8) )%1))*'  1*1  ABOUT THE AUTHOR )  You give him credit for too D %! ) , > much cleverness. My impression was that he’s just another  ".A    blundering American. "  "a  A:.5  %  "   ,a  " – Major Strasser " A: A   $; "   , L; "   "" ?:  , ",  :; J ,   " :  ,  "#  ,,<0 ":" " , ": , . " ,,. ,5  ": A L  " :a: " N " A."A ..  ,"  A       
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 1   :5.#  "5#    S. John Ross has been a Game Master since 1984 and game writer since +  :#  "    1990. His works include the Points in     "M ": " Space series, Risus: The Anything   :  )> )%> *6 * RPG, the Pokéthulhu Adventure Game, GURPS Russia, GURPS Ware-  ,, 
'   5A  house 23, Weirder Tales: A Space A ,  ," : 5   Opera, Feast of Blades (the In . .A # " 
 Nomine GM’s Kit), Among the 0 "%:'  ,.     Clans: The Andorians, Uresia:  " # "A   
 Grave of Heaven, the Star Trek RPG Narrator’s Toolkit, and the creation A:'  ,   of Sparks paper miniatures. As a con-  L  +  #    " ,> tributor, his work has appeared in ,  " .:5, "     "A; other supplements for the lines men-   #:     , tioned above, as well as the Flying Buf- falo’s CityBook series, White Wolf’s Mage: The Ascension line, and nu- merous periodicals, including Dragon, White Wolf, Star Wars Gamer, Autoduel Quarterly, and Pyramid (where he served a brief stint as Editor). His homepage, The Blue Room, includes the Big List of RPG Plots, one of the most linked-to gaming tools on the World Wide Web. Outside of gaming, he’s a literacy volunteer, cook, and lov-
ing husband to his wife, Sandra. + :L .H3

 & CHARACTER CREATION

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THAT LAST #@!% CLICHÉ TABLE (1D100)

01 - Alchemist 32 - Escaped Gladiator Slave 67 - Porn Star 02 - Armchair General 33 - Ex-Con 68 - Priest 03 - Bartender 34 - Executioner 69 - Prophet 04 - Basketball Star 35 - Ex-Mercenary 70 - Prowler 05 - Battle-Scarred Veteran 36 - Exotic Dancer 71 - Psychic 06 - Berserker 37 - Explorer 72 - Psychoanalyst 07 - Black Market 38 - Fortean Investigator 73 - Ranch Hand Contraband Broker 39 - Frat Boy/Sorority Chick 74 - Rebel 08 - Blacksmith 40 - Friend to the Animals 75 - Sadistic Megalomaniac 09 - Brain Surgeon 41 - Gadgeteer 76 - Sailor 10 - Butcher 42 - Gambler 77 - Saint 11 - Cat Burglar 43 - Gigolo/Call Girl 78 - Salesman 12 - Chef 44 - Groupie 79 - Scholar 13 - Chosen One of 45 - Hayseed 80 - Science-Fiction Fan the Ancient Prophecy 46 - Hedonist 81 - Sensitive Artist 14 - Circus Acrobat 47 - Helpless Victim 82 - Serial Killer 15 - Civil Engineer 48 - Hit Man 83 - Slob 16 - Comedian/Jester 49 - Hobo 84 - Smartass 17 - Computer Wiz 50 - Homemaker 85 - Spare-Time Detective 18 - Con Artist 51 - Inveterate Coward 86 - Spoiled Dilettante 19 - Concerned Parent 52 - Ladies' Man 87 - Stage Magician 20 - Contortionist 53 - Law School Dropout 88 - Storyteller 21 - Couch Potato 54 - Looter 89 - Stunt Double 22 - Counterculture Icon 55 - Mad Scientist 90 - Swashbuckler 23 - Cowboy 56 - Miser 91 - Swinger 24 - Criminal Informant 57 - Misunderstood Monster 92 - Trivia Master Building a New Life 58 - Musician 93 - Undercover Agent 25 - Cub Reporter 59 - Neat Freak 94 - Unemployed Actor 26 - Cyborg Killing Machine 60 - Novelist 95 - Vampire 27 - Dabbler in the Dark Arts 61 - Outdoorsman 96 - Veterinarian 28 - Dancer 62 - Peeping Tom 97 - Visitor From the Future 29 - Deposed Dictator 63 - Philosopher 98 - Volunteer Social Worker 30 - Disc Jockey 64 - Pilot 99 - Weekend Warrior 31 - Drug Dealer 65 - Poet 00 - Werewolf 66 - Political Activist

5    +,-. THAT LAST #@!% CLICHÉ /a .O. P     : !*#>1)>#'>)  #A,  : A# +)>>  @# ,A  5  a:  :  1)1)* .  ,  K  A       a @#  > 0 A   .A  L S  . . a."   "  ,  " :.5 ,  ,  ,  S  . .  ,   
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 1     )     )

CORE CLICHÉS A nation that draws too broad a difference between its scholars and its warriors will have its think- ing done by cowards, and its fighting done by fools. – Thucydides Let’s return to those dozen endeavors I tossed off so casually a minute ago. They’re just an arbitrary chunk- ing of skills, sure, but they’re a little trickier than that, too … They correspond to the molds from which many adventure heroes are cast, because such characters – deliberately or just because it works out that way – are written, and played, to exemplify one of that magic dozen. Actually using a core cliché as a cliché is pretty dull; they’re just keys, not characters. But in a game as loose as Risus, where that Starpilot/Druid/Samurai/Bard really is a likely PC, it can be helpful to decide which flag you really fly above all the others. Recognizing your core cliché is like finding your seat in the orches- tra, and it can help provide a solid anchor for whatever wild creation you may have spawned. It’s useful, too, to recognize which core cliché you usually play, because if you’ve been itching to be some- body radically different, Risus is the game to do it in. Risus provides a very forgiving foundation for “de- parture” characters, since every cliché is equally useful, except the oddball ones which are equally more useful. Use what you learn to turn tradition on its ear. It is generally true that, in fantasy, a Bard can belt out a tune and enthrall an angry crowd, but who’s to say that a very charismatic Standup Comic couldn’t be given the same kind of romantic powers to woo the masses? There aren’t any examples I can think of in novels or films, but RPGs are, when you get down to it, much, much more powerful and versatile than static fiction. Seize that power, and take the story where the story wouldn’t go without a warped mind like yours to guide the way. With all that in mind, we’ll drop in on the core clichés throughout the book.

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A CORE CLICHÉ: THE CHARISMATIC MRS. BUTTERBREAD Description: A strange, pear-shaped little woman, All charming people have something to elderly and cheery. Her white hair is tinged metallic conceal, usually their total dependence blue, and she commands a small army of miniature on the appreciation of others. dogs (mostly toy poodles and Lhasa apsos). To keep herself occupied, she stalks along foggy hedgerows – Cyril Connolly and across quiet courtyards, solving the murders that The Charismatic is the romantic seducer, the stump Scotland Yard. wily haggler, the wisecracking confidence trick- ster, the soul-stirring minstrel. He’s all about Clichés: Kindly Grandmother-to-Everyone (4), convincing and inspiring people, and Player Bothersome Fussbudget (3), Small-Breed Dog Characters often have a lot of need to be con- Enthusiast (3) vincing. Sometimes a crowd needs rousing (or   .#  A: an angry mob needs quieting), sometimes a A," ,
   
stubborn NPC needs a little grease or sugar to  A  .  : " get that vital clue, and it’s just plain safer to be invited into the Dark Lord’s compound as hon- L : A,. O . : ored guests than it is to hack through all those   . B     A guards. You’ll be hacking through them on the
 #> AP , : way out, anyway.  ":a A ) A  # In modern and futuristic games, just about any Charismatic is either a suave-and-sexy type, a naturally magnetic leader, or a shifty con artist. Just watch some old A-Team episodes to catch Dirk Benedict burning that candle from both ends and round the middle. With fantasy the cliché broadens a little, thanks to a tradition of artistic characters: jesters and minstrels and tale-tellers that can enthrall, anger, or soothe with clever patter and a plucked string or two. Of course, we’ve also got science fiction where teenage pop stars can save us from alien in- vaders, so there’s hope for the “game-effective artiste” concept to spread its wings a little.

 44     )     )

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  A     A   :.:

A CORE CLICHÉ: THE ATHLETE Nobody in the game of football should be called a genius. A genius is somebody like Norman Einstein. – Joe Theismann The Athlete is strong, fast, and limber. His forte is raw human prowess. A well-rounded band of heroes often has one: he’s the one they ask to kick a door in, chase down the hooligan, or swing that vine across a deadly pit of lava. He’s got a cliché like Hometown Football Hero (4), or she’s got one like Perky Gym- nast (5). There’s another choice here, too: are you about power and raw strength? Or are you agile and quick? Of course, some athletes are just well rounded, healthy people at the peak of human condition and performance. Lets take a moment to resent them. Nearly any kind of combat cliché implies a degree of athletic prowess … Certainly, a Swashbuckler (4) can swing from chandeliers and a Medieval Warrior (4) can haul up a portcullis. And what kind of Martial Artist (3) isn’t also an acrobat? All true, but the Athlete is something beyond a fighter’s respectable health. In science fiction, for example, there’s a fun tradition of real sports playing a part in a character’s back- ground. You can be an Athlete to show off the nifty low-gravity arena games of the future (and score alien cheerleaders with exotic bedroom talents) … Or you can focus on athletics just to show that you’re good and trustworthy. Despite SF’s general pro-brains, anti-brute-force vibe, we can still tell our hero is a stand- up guy if we know he ran track or quarterbacked his high school football team. Fantasy invites athletes to shine, too, as the forte of Asian-style monks who practice incredible physical feats by sitting still and humming, or elves who can run through the forests for days at a time to deliver a vital message, Olympic- torch style, to a king that needs to be warned of the coming army.

 4%     )     )

0"1 " 2#"  THE MEGAVERSAL 0 :   A  OMNIGROOVY .#   # BACKGROUND MACHINE   9,AO,   , :  "    A P: ;)*) &)  #66   A   )>* /  )+)>)%#&)1))%#&  A(/.A 
) D .(/  &)%  A A   " A ( ?::(  "  >)   " , ,,. , ( 0120       K ".:K) ,  N    5  :  ; #   A  .  ";   "  ,,;.#   :  "  .  :   A S  .# ,, " , "  ".  "O  ,A:   >'    ;  ":  " P  ,    / , M

THE MEGAVERSAL, OMNIGROOVY BACKGROUND MACHINE (1D100)

01 - You achieved some fame 24 - You forgave someone for a 02 - You accidentally killed your pet long-standing wrong 03 - You accepted something that shouldn't 25 - You finally had to give up your wooby have been yours 26 - You fell very ill 04 - There was a terrible accident 27 - You failed to achieve something you 05 - The GM pressured you into it wanted very much 06 - Someone tricked you 28 - You failed as an artist 07 - Someone powerful or wealthy took an 29 - You committed a crime with friends but interest in you you were the only one to get away 08 - Someone gave you a hickey 30 - You committed a crime with friends but 09 - Someone gave you a cryptic warning you were the only one caught 10 - Someone depended on you 31 - You gave shelter to an unusual traveler 11 - Somebody was honest enough to tell you that 32 - You got in a fight your poetry or artwork is awful 33 - You had a career that you thought would last 12 - Nobody understood you your whole life, but it didn't work out 13 - It seemed like a good idea at the time 34 - You had a lot of siblings 14 - Good fortune brought you unexpected money 35 - You had a transformingly good romance 15 - Bullies picked on you 36 - You had some incredibly good sex 16 - A plate of spicy food affected you 37 - You had some unusual dreams 17 - A new religion or philosophy caught 38 - You have no idea. You certainly don't want your interest to be what you are; it just keeps working 18 - A group you disliked or didn't trust did out that way. you a good turn, and changed your feelings 39 - You saw an inspiring movie about them 40 - You saw a hygiene play 19 - A group you admired ridiculed, ignored, 41 - You sacrificed something you enjoyed for or excluded you the good of another 20 - You are doing this to spite a relative's wishes 42 - You reconciled with a parent or friend you 21 - You are following in a relative's footsteps had separated from 22 - You aren't of this Earth (or of this whatever- 43 - You realized that you're different from planet-this-is) the others 23 - You can wiggle your eyebrows independently 44 - You read a really good book

 4&     )     )

THE MEGAVERSAL, OMNIGROOVY BACKGROUND MACHINE (1D100)

45 - You never had a dog 68 - You were befriended by someone old and 46 - You needed to prove something as a point of wise pride 69 - You were bitten by a radioactive animal of 47 - You met the love of your life, but she stood some kind you up and you never learned why 70 - You were bored 48 - You met someone who does the same thing, 71 - You were entrusted with a special object hated them, and it still bugs you that you 72 - You were forced, repeatedly, to eat a veg- ended up similar to them etable you didn't like 49 - You met someone who does the same thing, 73 - You were frustrated by how badly others were did them a good turn, and in ex- doing it, so you decided to take up the cause change they taught you something and do it right 50 - You met someone who does the 74 - You were given a cool science toy same thing, and he impressed 75 - You were just filling in for somebody else you/aided you/etc. 76 - Your parents were a member of an ethnic, 51 - You met someone who did cultural, or religious minority something entirely unrelated, 77 - Your parents split up but it gave you the idea any- 78 - Your parents saved all of your naked baby way pictures to embarrass you with later in life 52 - You met a lifelong friend when 79 - Your parents are unknown to you strange events brought you to- 80 - You're just doing it because it comes in gether handy in a fight 53 - You made a moral or ethical 81 - You're in it for some secondary benefit, like choice that you still regret money, fame, groupies, or discount skin care 54 - You made a discovery that sur- products. prised a lot of people, especial- 82 - You witnessed a lot of suffering that you ly you hadn't been aware of 55 - You indulged in a lot of chem- 83 - You witnessed a hilarious animal act ical entertainment that you hadn't been aware of 56 - You single-handedly solved 84 - You were visited by a supernatural a case involving stolen entity (or believe you were) cheese 85 - Your wicked Uncle Ernie was 57 - You solved a mystery your babysitter 58 - You spent time as a sol- 86 - Your parents were noticeably rich dier, or among them 87 - Your parents were noticeably poor 59 - You suffer from a disease 88 - Your parents were killed 60 - You thought it would be cooler 89 - Your parents were infamous and despised than it is 90 - Your parents were famous and admired 61 - You took a wrong turn 91 - You were too trusting 62 - You took some lessons 92 - You were threatened by shadows at night, 63 - You traveled beyond your homeland then exposed to the light for the first time 93 - You were the savior of your people 64 - You turned left when you should 94 - You were seriously wounded have turned right 95 - You were secretly attracted to someone 65 - You were admitted for routine you shouldn't desire gall bladder surgery but 96 - You were kind of a jerk something went wrong 97 - You were mistaken for somebody else 66 - You were arrested for a 98 - You were raised in the traditions of a crime religion that emphasizes guilt 67 - You were arrested for a 99 - You were raised on a farm by foster crime you didn't commit parents of some kind 00 - You were savaged by a turbot

 4(     ) ; 
) 8 *1 ))%P)%

The Machine in Action THE TENETS OF RISUS, DISTILLED      L  ,0120   There’s no wrong way to play. A :A ." A", A , ;  :A   , " I’m not the last word on Risus rules. I’m just a   B /      " consistent first word. A    : ## "     The GM is not God. God is one of his little NPCs.  /    ,T     Risus is a comedy RPG. It’s good for serious   ," games only if you insist it is. Risus has rules for anything, not for everything. SHEETH JONAS Every cliché is beautiful (and game-useful), in its Description: A man with wisdom beyond his years own way. and sideburns beyond his collar, Sheeth is equally Any Risus mechanic can resolve any diceworthy comfortable in the steamy brothels of Nai-Noda and challenge. the frozen forests of the trackless north. The character’s abilities, not his props, deter- Clichés: Kindhearted Northern Ranger (4), Acolyte of mine his success. the Ice Wizards of Zor (3), Spare-Time Scholar (2), Gambler (1) S ,   A:    2
? A    .AI? A             "   :  A : A  .#  L A  , I/ #       "  ,   M    A    S ,  1,:   #   S   #    : A >  "M/  :A  A  ". :  +"    #        A. , A , , "  :  "  , ".     /  "   .  A  . : , ! A:,   A    . " :9:        : " " ,%9U      J#. " #  ,  ,  :   ",  #   O "    ,   "
A   P "  . :A #   . :  " A  #9,    " A . . #  :       "    / "  "A " "  , 1 .A :    5/  ,T : .  A "       K.1  ,> "  THE RISUS ROSETTA STONE? LJ     ,!;! O%  H-HP:A 5/ 
 "; If you want a fun way to while away a rainy af- #  ,  / :A  ternoon, print out the sample cliché list from .,A "   .,A+,A Risus, next to the same list from the many for- eign-language Risus translations. It’s difficult to " :A  :J    summarize just how amusing the comparisons  A # " A   : can be – and it’s a great way to work on becom- ing a polyglot. O  5 ' 1*L% >) % )'>% '$6)

 4)     )     )

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THE LCBS The Risus stick figures are called the LCBs – Little Cartoon Bastards. They first appeared in my fanzines for an APA called All of the Above, but quickly be- came something I’d doodle into nearly anything given the chance. They became permanently associ- ated with Risus in June of 2001, with the release of Risus version 1.5 – and they so perfectly express the feel and philosophy of Risus that I’m at a loss to imagine Risus ever existing without them. There are really only two LCBs, the One on the Left and the One on the Right – so called because they’ve often appeared as a pair exchanging dia- logue. They have no other given names, though they’ve taken on character names in some instances (in the Cumberland Games ad appearing in the Dork Storm edition of Pokéthulhu, for example, they’re Sparky and Renfield, the heroes of Stickman City). When more than two LCBs appear at one time, it’s really just the same two guys, multiplied using advanced digital trickery, animatronics and other special effects. The LCBs have also appeared in many non-Risus capacities on the Blue Room website, and once decorated an article logo for Pyramid magazine. Some of the earliest drawings of the LCBs appear here for the first time since their fanzine publication.

 4* MASTERING THE GAME RULES

9 1% #?#)  OBJECTS ARE LESS POSSIBLE THAN 2 ))*(H + THEY APPEAR      :. " When an Elder Boogeyman turns your brain to 
 0 "%  : oatmeal by flashing you with his improbable . +#K#
 <0  geometry, that’s an attack, as surely as whack- #::  " ,JM ing you with a baseball bat (and no more pleas- ant). In one sense, Call of Cthulhu’s “Sanity”  + ,, ,    mechanic – where a monster’s weirdness does damage to the hit points in your mind – is an im-  + ,, ,   , portant precursor to the “anything can be a fra-  + ,, , " ""  cas” Risus combat philosophy.  !         ;   ,A ,,  A  THE UNHOLY TRINITY  5 ,: # " . !  +' 6   1;) &   ,    #   @> * % ) ,  A " A  "
 P#)! +   " A  "#     5, "+*  " " ,   :. #,   ,; :   "   " ,A5 J #  + :L         ; .  :#,   . A , , "  "  J " /  : A " :   +.  )*  , ."  M J ,#K#
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 41  )%D #/ :6,) +9 )*I 5 4

A ",  A 
   ";  5, ,    "" ,; A CORE CLICHÉ: . A " ,":  :,  .5, THE COMMUNICATOR   A.   ".  , :  " "!.   Drawing on my fine command of the English language, I said nothing. 4  1      – Robert Benchley  .:: #" 
 ;  "AA    "  The Communicator can navigate the maze of in- A   ,6 )%  % #6 *M terlocking communities, barely-friendly nations, and complex societies. He fits in. He reads and  +  ";+  M+ ,   speaks in several languages, and he knows the J#   "  tune a well as the lyrics: the quaint native folk- ways of Distant Nowhereland, the one-mistake-   ,,  : " costs-your-head court rituals of the Really    Grouchy Shogun. He remembers to bring a gift  + .M+ , .  ; when he’s invited over.     A a  ,,  Some campaigns gloss right past languages :A #:  K .. with a Universal Translator or a Common , A ,   + , Tongue that even the mountain goblins can    manage (with an accent). Customs, though, re- main a constant concern.  +"!.> M1   Should you kneel on your right or left knee    ,,  :  ; when addressing his August Magnificence? Is it       # :# an insult or an honorable salute to punch his :  #  ," mistress in the face as a greeting? Only the Communicator knows. In fantasy, this kind of  .!     , knowledge is often the purview of the very ,   , . N  ,, scholarly and arcane, because wizards are pre-   )* ,:, A , "" sumed to be more well-read and well-traveled %   A. " M than basic village folk. In nearly every genre from low medieval to high space opera, wily  AA#   ,O)+
merchants and one-step-ahead-of-the-law )+
N  J  "   : rogues can be counted on for a bit of this, and  ,L ,, ":  "  in space fantasy, it’s traditional to have a robot   , 
   L in the party to handle “etiquette and protocol” * , "    ",
 and small-talk with binary loadlifters. ""  A     , ;  "   " :K.,   A   ",  2"!.  6 ,   2,A    "  A    .  .  ,  "!. "  A  "  "  , ,  A:"  A ?    "  " ,.   ;  )% , .  ";  A A  .:A 1)    1    ":  "   , " ,"  ."    A  # " .?" :#  +   ,:A  2 A  J ":    
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THE “WHAT THE HECK KIND OF CONFLICT IS THIS?” FLOWCHART  & '&    &

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A CORE CLICHÉ: THE DETECTIVE When you’re slapped, you’ll take it and like it. – Sam Spade The Detective hears what others don’t catch, sees what others overlook, finds what others have concealed, and understands how these details play connect-the-dots with the questions facing the party. In a sense, choosing to play the Detective of the party is like volunteering to be the player-side mouthpiece for the Game Master. Clues are, after all, the traffic signals of a game’s pace and flow. What the Detective “un- earths” often amounts to encoded instructions from the GM. “This way, you dorks.” The fun of playing the Detective isn’t so much in the detecting as it is in the power of knowledge … When you’re the smartass that knows the tangled social landscape better than the bad guys do, you can lord that over them, crack wise, and generally feel all big in the pants. The Detective of a high-tech world is different, though, from a Detective in the Dark Ancient Renaissance Medieval Age. In modern games, detective work is tied to acumen – intellect and perception. Detectives are trained investigators, canny professors, nosy busybodies with minds like a steel trap, and so on. In games where the hocus pocus is real, it’s usually tied instead to spiritual and natural attunement – to de- veloped intuition. Detectives are those close to the spirits, close to nature, close to the mysteries of the fairy otherworld. In games that combine these elements, we get the mystery cliché of the Psychic Detec- tive, neatly fusing the notions into one.

 %5  )%D #/  )%D #/

A CORE CLICHÉ: THE DRIVER It’s got a cop motor, a 440 cubic inch plant; it’s got cop tires, cop suspensions, cop shocks. It’s a model made before catalytic converters so it’ll run good on regular gas. What do you say, is it the new Bluesmobile or what? – Elwood Blues The Driver doesn’t just get you from point A to point B, he does it at high speed, with hairpin turns and tricky maneuvering. He does it better than any chasing him, or better than any he’s decided to chase. He’s the hotshot dogfighter, the stunt-riding cowboy, the hooting hayseed in the General Lee. In most game worlds, it’s a given that any character can drive/ride/et cetera in a basic sort of way. So, this cliché is about driving in that special way that makes the physicists scream and holler and throw a lit- tle physicist tantrum. Players who plunk dice into a driving or piloting cliché can generally expect to be re- markable drivers and pilots, not merely “good” ones. The Driver has a place of honor in every adventure genre. When the best car is still a horse, equestrian skill can save a kingdom, prevent a war, or terrorize the footsoldiers just for the style of it. In fantasy worlds where knights mount dragons and gryphons and other odd beasts, these clichés can allow a ride on crea- tures others dare not approach. In a caper crime story, the driver is a vital member of any crooked gang, and in a modern or futuristic military piece, the master of the dogfight is often the star of the climactic battle scene. And in any genre where people can chase or race each other, the driver – from Ben Hur to Ben Throttle – is a special kind of hero.

aJ,, ," " ,, Target Numbers and the ,, ,   "  O..  a 6 *)%    P5 Professional Hero " H: ": ;%  "0  211 # ) ') %  ?, "2"a) J   ".. ",  "2 a  ; 8 #P * )))% .:.2"   . 
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.   ,   M ,,A    ...H  : 5  ;    LA5  3-5: Child’s play. Don’t waste my time with this stuff. "A ":. "<0: ":;  " .: .  a 6-8: A little tricky. But if I mess up, test me for poison  .  ,, darts or zombie bites. 9-11: Challenging. A real test of what I can do. 1, :,  / O
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. 15+ Totally out of my league. I might succeed by  .:A ",  :,    blind luck. a+  2 "  , #:  ,  "!.,  "9  

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Target Numbers and the    Single Showoff  (  &   ; #)*  * #)6% -*D  ) : .    # "  A . " ,,: , :   :  # #6  ,A9    "   , A  9:"   A K " ".K#,A     "  " .   ,   ;A  :# "   A:" :  :  ; # , "   .  ,# " "   " 6 *   "     A"  :  A   J@    ,  ,:     A.M   A  +    ;      A & * "  :. "  , 5: A generous effect that contributes to the party     .  :. " cause, and actually provides some extra fun or op- # # "  L ":. portunities for the other characters in the group.   " "  #": 10: The character would be contributing his fair O. ,P. )%  ) share of impact on the scene; pulling his weight as  ++ ,, ,,  part of the team. A  ".:    15: A mildly selfish effect that steals the thunder of J#   " A  others in the group. 2    A " 9 : 20: This would entirely upstage the other players,  ":  "  :< turning the other characters into bystanders for the rest of the scene. 0S    ""    ">)&  ,  , : 25: This would upstage (or at least instantly rewrite)   aa .  ,.  " the whole scenario.   ".+" :A  30: This not only hogs the spotlight, it shoplifts it and  "  "."" .   : runs off with it tucked down the front of its pants.  . A ,; #          " #/ 9    " :. .     # #A  ;.     5A #JA  " :  ":.   * K  ; .   ##)"  ., A  ; ,  &)# )  ))% " A ": ...:  )...:. ;  A    A A " K.  ,;.#  A     ,AN #A  "OA: 
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YOU’LL GO BLIND DOING THAT 5  : A A    Q: What happens if you pump yourself right out "  ,!    of commission? /I?  A    A: You’re right out of commission. Save that tac- , :   " #A  tic for last-ditch emergencies or going-out-in-a-   5  . # " ; blaze-of-glory. .NA      ;

 %&  )%D #/  )%D #/

Haggling S   ""A   :      ,":.  7    9>;6)#0,; AJ  ,   "  " %&#2 1   );0 S     ,   , 9L ; 89:   9>  0 #:  ,A") +)  " 7    ; #>   <0"19A   ;2  #1- )) + , ,, "!. Degrees of Success and   ,, . %%)% L: ; A 9     ,; Secret TNs ,    ,,5   9*'+>   %!  > *L L ,  ,   A: ;) >   *6 *   : ,, .?  * > )61 *%)6  . "   ".A ,O< 0P  O  "T . # ,)=) !  PM >  ""!. L*'  ,    AA Zorbok: How many guards are there?    2A   GM: Four at the gate, and two in each of the three M #"!.  ; towers. The guys in the towers have big crossbow A  ) .;5  thingies. "L . :  ,
A    .. Zorbok: I’ll cast a spell to make them all sponta- # ,"   :. ; neously explode. Into little piles of … diamonds! /  # " #: "!. Other Player: Good call, dude. Ooh! And make one   A "" #  
. of them explode into ham sandwiches. My guy is  #  " . " hungry.  # Other Other Player: He’d still be a guy … I mean, S   .  ,,,  you’d be eating ham sandwiches that were a person,  .  ,,2# /;2  man.   ;A " "L O
 Other Player: So? GM: Difficulty 30 for the diamonds. 32 if you add the ham sandwiches. Zorbok: Holy … 30, huh? Okay, skip that. How about if I just turn them all into newts? GM: Difficulty 25. There are ten whole guards, and they don’t look like schmucks. Other Player: Are newts edible? Other Other Player: Dude. Stop it. Zorbok: How about if I put them to sleep? GM: Difficulty 15, for all of them at once. Zorbok: Hrm. I can pump and get that easily enough, but I’ll need you guys to clean up if anyone comes running to attack us afterward. Other Player: Go for it. I’ll ready my dachshund.

 %(  )%D #/  )%D #/

!  # )  MORE REASONS &  & # TO ROLL DICE %) )1 )#)# #6 L  )1 ) / / &* 5     , 0# A , ?   5  ,  

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Zorbok: Whoa! What’s happening now? Is he not THE FUNKY AXIS unconscious? When using Funky Dice, the number of dice still GM: He’s down and out. Just roll the dice; we’ll see indicates expertise, on exactly the same scale as what happens … normal Risus. So, a Soldier (3) is just as skilled as Zorbok: [Nervously rolls the dice] … A 14. Made it. a Super-Soldier (3d20). The funkiness of the dice Thank god. represents raw power, magical energy, super- speed, poetic insight, or other unusual might. Other Player: I have my weapon out. I mentioned that earlier. I called it. It’s out.

    ;   "  Other Other Player: Mine too. I also have that pro- tection amulet ready just in case. I said so while you A "." A  .? were in the bathroom, but the others are witnesses.  .#  A    : "# And I sleep in my armor.     ,+ + "O  #PA."  
Everyone Else but the GM: Yeah. GM: You made it; good. [Steeples his fingers, flashes 2A     an evil grin] You … sense something. A magic aura . .A + #:   A clings to this guard. He’s been ensorcelled recently,    A "."+     or charmed. You only made it by 2 so you don’t get ,   " ;  "   much of a detailed sense of it, but the aura is there, AN   you catch it out of the corner of your third eye, so to speak. You are filled with a sense of foreboding, a sudden gloom. You suspect something is happening I’ve Got Dice that Jingle somewhere, and that this magic is connected to it. Jangle Jingle Everyone Else but the GM: [Babble of theories and concern] ; #&1*)%*'1 D  +6 * GM: [Takes notes, picking the best theories to be )) true, mentally pats self on back for a tantalizing line :)%9) *;; of total and utter rubbish] +.# #, L 
:    ",  ;   ))    .#     ,  S   A   :  A  ""  *>  " . :.    %%  ;    " A>:    "  :       " 5         ::  :.   "" ""   , .5       .     N   )  L  ;   ,#6        KS  #  A         "; .   9   /      :  K . #:    A  GM: … And down he goes, unconscious. A  "#,  "  Zorbok: And bleeding.  "!.    : . # AA GM: And bleeding, sure. "!.  : Zorbok: [3.2 seconds of silence]    "    Other Player: [3.0 seconds of silence] S  A:   Other Other Player: [4.7 seconds of silence] .  " 
1    "<0 " #  GM: Zorbok, give me a roll against “Master of the  ,   "  Elder Arts.” Target 12.   A  , 

 %*  )%D #/  )%D #/

STATS FOR DOLPHIN STUFF Description: A loveable cetacean occasionally prone to humping humans until they drown. ;),*'>#) #  Clichés: Bigass Aquatic Mammal (3), New-Age Sym-  )%  )%) bol of Everything New-Agers Enjoy Seeing Symbol- ized (2), Crowd-Pleasing Charmer (3), Well-Inten- =  H tioned Rapist (2) 0 :  ": Tools of the Trade  A  ,  " (,*) )H  "  
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ONCE MORE A CORE CLICHÉ: THE MECHANIC INTO THE BREACH I came into this game for the action, the = D  +'  /)) 9 >  excitement. Go anywhere, travel light, B%#)*  B%&#  )+ get in, get out, wherever there’s trouble, B6)# @>* 6))%6 a man alone. * 6 ) 1# )#* L – Harry Tuttle, Heating Engineer  )>) #1   The Mechanic knows the machinery of the !)! + world, and he knows it well enough to fix it when it’s broken, push it to achieve more when 5 "  
  .,   ! .5 it’s not, and invent more of it in his spare time. # " .  ,A:..5 Despite being a celebration of applied knowl- # " .  ,A # + #1 edge, the Mechanic gets more powerful as real- ism slips to the side. In a purely grounded game, *# # /," ""  " : he might still make the ship go a little faster …  .     , "  #.  But in a more fanciful one, he can turn the trac- ,  A "L  K  , " tor beam into a matter purifier or whip up a  
 ( makeshift nuclear weapon from a dozen glow- in-the-dark watch hands and a microwave oven. Victory and Injury The Mechanic is a reflection of the Wizard. They’re two sides of a coin that spins so rapidly & )%61)#* in some genres it becomes a single sphere. Both represent a rare breed privy to something that ,)  8 # ) * surrounds us without explaining itself. They     ,  apply arcane knowledge to make their will man- ifest. The difference is often just aesthetic, or a
: <0, . " matter of handwaving: a Wizard achieves what  "    "    he desires without implied “causation” in the  "  "   A  "   traditional sense, while the Mechanic achieves  "A." , 5,<0 , his magic more “honestly” with applied physics   ,. :""  and engineering. In the realms of science fanta- #  ,"" "  M sy (or good old fashioned pulp adventure, or one of those “steampunk” fantasies where the GM: That’s it; he’s out of dice. You’ve won. What mecha are made of wood) the distinction just happens to Veculos the Truculent? means different breeds of gobbledygook. It’s fun to keep the distinction, though, because Zorbok: Hrm. With that last maneuver, I’ll cause his when one approach fails, the other can kick in. head to fall off. It’s never a bad thing to give the GM more clay Other Player: It’s lunchtime in hungry-for- to slap onto his wheel. brainsville!

Other Other Player: Oh, man, just give that up. GM: Okay, that sounds about right. [With emphasis]: You weren’t going to eat that last slice of pizza … GM: Zorbok and Veculos were just playing chess. Or- right? dinary chess. Not even magical chess. 1, : :. C  Zorbok: Well … yeah … just his eyeballs explode,    "  #   then?   " :.   .,    ? ,#  #; GM: Hmmmmmm …  A  J  A  # Zorbok: And he begs me to take him as my slave. .  

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:"   ,9  . A ,  .N # . ,, , A        A  #     :     ,   "   #   "J    " A  : A# #   ,a     , "   .  , ":  , A CORE CLICHÉ: THE NATURE BOY A:  ,, : : :  : Live each season as it passes; breathe the  ": :A :  :   air, drink the drink, taste the fruit, and  .#:  :  : :, ; resign yourself to the influences of each.  :  ,  :" " ,  # :" : :#:  – Henry David Thoreau    ,:  :  : The Nature Boy knows which insects taste good, .# :,: : 
5K  which roots cure poison, which mushrooms are      ,.  poison, and where the little muddy footprints lead. He can track a falcon on a cloudy day; he’ll A;. "2  0# " find you. Then he’ll suck the venom from your        >)))% wound, build a lean-to, lead you back to civiliza- / A  "       L , tion, and regard you with sadness because you  :  ," OP prefer to live there. He gives a hoot. He does not   ,A  pollute. He looks spiffy in earth tones. . "  ,
  . The Nature Boy is very versatile when he’s in his element. Nature can (even in fairly sober and )   J " K,  realistic world) serve up nearly anything: clues, an "5   ,  ,"  " : edge in combat, sudden danger, and equally sud-    ,  ,,    ,,; den remedy. <0  #; This core cliché is timeless; it doesn’t change A  9 A " much as the genres move from the ancient world .#  A 
A A  "  to distant galaxies. A far-future Nature Boy might ) *    . be able to pick up the spoor and trail of a Deadly  " " ,   ., Vacuum Worm the size of a star cruiser, but it’s the same shtick as his more primitive counterpart  . ,  !   tracking a deer or finding the dragon’s lair by A " ,  " 1*)% observing which way the Dragon Mushrooms are   ,   " :.  pointing at sundown. A.  ,   A Like the Detective, he’s often a handy dispenser of A .. " .: A: . " the Game Master’s secret roadmap. Like the ,: .. "  : .. " Mechanic and the Wizard, he’s privy to unusual J# .   , ) 66 L and versatile knowledge. Like the Scholar, he can 6  aG>)#) ) 6 6   drone on about it. For extra-credit fun, he gets to play Fish Out of Water when he’s away from the    , , .    ,  wild too long.   

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?a # , N0      a .O"P A CORE CLICHÉ: THE MEDIC 5 ": "A   .  Haven’t you ever heard of the healing  )%    ,     power of laughter? A    &* . " : ; – The Joker  " " "!. ?"" "O "HPA ,   : When the party has the crap beat out of them, "  ,  ,A  M the Medic kisses it and makes it better (mixed metaphors can be very unpleasant). The Medic is rarely a glamorous cliché, but most groups of Zorbok: I still have those herbs we found in the heroes would rather not sally forth without at witches’ hovel. I’ll smear those on in the form of a least one healer in the party. Because healing is balm. usually something that happens after rather than during the action, a lot of genres tuck the GM: Okay. He’s still decapitated, but now he smells medical arts into the sphere of the party Wizard, soapier. or provide healing from the gods, or in the form Zorbok: Still? These herbs suck. I’ll try a glue spell. of miracle quick-cure pills and other super-sci- ence gizmos. When the medicine becomes part +A  ,: ":  . of the story, though, healers and doctors and ,  6 )1*   .:" ",A  their kin can take the limelight as a legitimate,   ". 5  ; even crucial, breed of hero.  : : +#  # % ,  In one sense, Risus undermines the healer char-  .  >) 5  :K acter by design. Since physical healing is left as    L  , .; a dramatic tool without objective mechanics tied   # ,  # "  ; to it, nobody needs to be a healer if the GM is A  , "    : going to be generous with post-carnage recov- .. ., <0  ery. What this means is just this: in Risus, you  " /"    play a doctor because you like playing doctor (who doesn’t?), not because it’s compulsory. You A  : "O  "  P play the healer because you’ve enjoyed too    K much Doctor Quinn, Medicine Woman, or you    >) like bandying insults with the green-blooded Sci- ence Officer. Healers are often the firmest voice  ": 0 a L   : of morality in an otherwise bloodthirsty party, ..  A A   % 
  and that can be a refreshing note of variety. A   "   : ; In another sense, Risus opens up the healer   ., " character to a broader, more metaphorical .. " A    " "  " canvas. Since Risus combat never has to be physical, and the losses from combat likewise, Non-Combat Injury a “healer” can usefully be a counselor, a teacher, an inspiring general, a supportive )*#)  % #)%#) friend, an excellent lover – anyone who can   ) &* # ; # pick up an abused cliché, dust it off, and stand D # ' ) #) * # it on its feet again. 1 #)) > .O ,P, , ;" ; 9# ,#6)  "  ) .   .  , 5 
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2<0A  , THE RANDOM BAD THING   . :   " THAT JUST HAPPENED TO MY : A      ? CHARACTER TABLE (1D100) O. P A   /  <0# A #  , ; . "I was/am/is/have/have been …"  K   . LA 01-02 - Abandoned 49-50 - Interrupted # A  . , :K M 03-04 - Abused 51-52 - Irradiated 05-06 - Annoyed 53-54 - Lied To 07-08 - Burned 55-56 - Manipulated Doubly Inappropriate? 09-10 - Chafed 57-58 - Mislaid 11-12 - Cheated 59-60 - Misquoted ; 4'+'# ;+)>'#  13-14 - Cloned 61-62 - Mutated )1;% 15-16 - Corrupted 63-64 - Nagged !11*,##  17-18 - Crashed/ 65-66 - Offended Wrecked 67-68 - Outdone   A a,  ; 19-20 - Cursed 69-70 - Overindulged .:  ,," 1    21-22 - Diseased 71-72 - Overslept 23-24 - Driven In- 73-74 - Parodied /  A A : "  ; sane 75-76 - Persecuted  a ,":#  25-26 - Drowned 77-78 - Poisoned  0     a    27-28 - Electrocuted 79-80 - Possessed I  L     ," 29-30 - Embarrassed 81-82 - Pranked  I  " ;.A I?  ; 31-32 - Exhausted 83-84 - Riled A  ,   M 33-34 - Exploited 85-86 - Robbed 35-36 - Fallen 87-88 - Slandered  S  :  .  37-38 - Fired 89-90 - Stalked .  ,    , ; 39-40 - Frozen/ 91-92 - Starved .: . .  ,  : Frostbitten 93-94 - Subpoenaed A a     41-42 - Heckled 95-96 - Suffocated 43-44 - Imitated 97-98 - Teased L : ,"A  ,": 45-46 - Imprisoned 99-00 - Threatened ""   ,  0 47-48 - Infested ?  :  . :  A  A    L  9a     , .#5  .    A," "# A .  ,,"O " P:    ;       S  . a  ,"  A.  """ "  S  . a "     "      " .  " A   : O  P # " ,, O, " A "P5    5   :  :A  A#,;   " .   ,"  : .  . " )% * A   %)     , .A  A # A.  ," : :A  ,, ,#   ",   ,,": "   . :.   A , ;  A #  , " .+," 1   K# L:    " . ":,  . :  .#   " L :.   # "A ,"A   9 A  . #   " "; A #

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Uzis, Bombs, and A CORE CLICHÉ: THE SCHOLAR Public Speaking Back off man. I’m a scientist. ;))% ;'& *) – Dr. Peter Venkman #1  
 /  A   #A  "   ,   I? A     . "  
: AI? A.    "  I+ "  I + A  A    , + 0 OPA ; ,; ;    "     A   .  A      .:K#   0 OP: .  ,J, ;  "A! OP A," ,      ..    The Scholar’s forte is lore and trivia. He knows    ,   , ;; stuff. In pure form, a scholarly character can’t do  ; ,:, ! (1( ) a darned thing (those who can’t do, teach), but O9  :
8-P    #2 >) he can explain things at length. In theory, this character is another form of voluntary GM 1!))%D"
5) (** mouthpiece, but in practice the Scholar usually O0L:HP becomes a world-building collaborator. A Risus : "   ,,  * Game Master at the top of his game will let the Scholar run rampant inventing amusing details, +  :   .A # " provided they don’t go undermining anything  ",   : .    important in the campaign. And then, that same  #Q ,    .5,B  canny Game Master will construct a petard from # :. B    5,  those details, on which the party might hoist themselves. Feel the love. Traditionally, the scholar is like the Medic … usually an accent to other roles instead of a central character con- cept. This flags it as a particularly excellent core cliché for Risus campaigning. Gamers often enjoy genres where knowledge is respected, even revered, so the Scholar is al- ways welcome. In the far future, Scholars are often aged scientists, mad theorists, child prodi- gies, and artificial beings like robots (with ency- clopedic stuff brimming out of their brains like so many came-boxed-with-the-operating-sys- tem extras). The archetypes erode slightly as the genres drift toward fantasy, and eventually only sages and wizards and others fond of dusty old scrolls and tablets carry the load – but that’s sensible enough in a world without Google. In a world where folks believe in magic but it doesn’t actually work, any “wizard” becomes a scholar, alpha to omega.

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A CORE CLICHÉ: THE SNEAK A-ha. The old rubber ducky with invisibility-spray trick. Check. – Kermit the Frog The Sneak can make himself unseen and unheard, and slip into places where he’s not welcome. He can steal away with what others own, and spy where others feel safe and private. This is no role to bury in a bundle; it can helm a whole cliché – or two – all on its own. Ironic, really, that a core cliché that’s all about subtlety and secre- cy is so often a flamboyant, likeably cocky show-off. Spies, assassins and thieves are as timeless as Nature Boys. Once technology arrives, they gain a lot of specialized categories, includ- ing many that seem (on the outside) like respectable engineers and academics: safecrackers, electronics security experts, computer wiz- ards that can hack deep into the Imperial Banking Network and give fat bonuses to every garbage collector with a birthday in June. In fantasy, some greybearded mystics are privy to the rituals and sym- bols that unlock wards and avoid scrying, and they amount to the “hack- ers” of their genre … They can crack past runes older than the rocks, and chuckle at curses that would burn a lesser man’s soul to cinders. If the core clichés were some kind of divinatory playing cards, the Sneak would represent things like a playful disregard for authority … and the anarchic nature of most gaming is per- haps the greatest source of his enduring and central role in adventure games. Of course, he’s also the guy most likely to be slipping little notes to the GM, so make sure you count your stash of gems every few hours, when he’s around …

A  "" ,,9:5  "  II. THE TRIP .     "      A. Get into vehicle B. Turn vehicle on 5,  "  " .      KA   :  L  " C. Drive/Fly/Teleport/Sail to address % III. THE DELIVERY  , . A M ; A" #  9 #  A. Get out of vehicle  9 #. A "0. B. Go to Door   "    , , C. Ring Doorbell L   .M9 #A D. Wait  1 6HH : .AJ;     ,   ,, E. Hand pizza over to deliveree , ;. "  "%    F. Collect money/Give Change/Take Tip   M IV. GO BACK TO WORK I. THE ORDER !     . A. Answer the phone     #   " :      :,, K  :  B. Write down order #    "; "  C. Give order to cook A ; "  D. Wait for Pizza

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Complications 5    ":<0 "A  A  : : .A;           .     ,  )1& *>  .     OA  " <  .    ,  9   P     O  #  A A  N9  "   AA # ":  B. The car explodes. The PCs have to drag the A # "  ,P pizza and each other from burning wreck, and .  L ,. 9 steal a nearby car.  . .,  "   : C. No complications here. That’d be too obvious. .!9  A  # , But make the players sweat a little. Describe the  , :      L   suspiciously light traffic, the ease with which they .    ,
  .:  ; find Exit 666 on the interstate, the fact that hell has a   " A #a ". Stuckey’s every three miles.  ":  a "   L  A: O   PA III. THE DELIVERY  .  .. ," :#:A:.; A. The door has been fused shut from incidental licks .  :   ? 2 " ; of hellish flame.  % "
  .   B. Fences, guard animals (if you think all dogs go to A  .#   "A# 9.  heaven, make them penguins and kiwis – most PCs       :A "" are terrified of flightless birds), rivers of fire, tempting  A? J#  ,A " illusions, images of childhood fear, brush salesmen. ,  , "   C. A placard reads: The house of evil has no door save unrepentant sin. The players each need to commit some. When they do, it turns out Beelzebub has a I. THE ORDER musical doorbell (“Do You Know the Way to San José?”). A. The cook swallows the phone, convulses with elec- D. Nobody comes to the now-revealed doorway. The tric shock. The PCs must fish it out. PCs must venture in and explore. B. The customer is Beelzebub; it turns out the pit of E. Beelzebub is angry that they’ve broken in, and hell is technically part of the delivery area. complains that the pizza is burned, cold, and has an- C. Woopsie. No cook. chovies on it instead of Canadian bacon. D. The PCs must cook the pizza themselves, F. He doesn’t have any change smaller than a human dealing with dangerous oven equipment and soul. If the PCs are willing to haggle and jump odd ingredients. through a few surreal hoops to make him happy, he’ll find a way to pay them and give them a handsome II. THE TRIP tip in the form of an extra mortal life apiece. If the PCs don’t make him happy, they’ll enrage him and A. The car is being stolen as the PCs arrive. They must have no choice but to utterly destroy the Source of All stop the theft and deal with the thieves. Evil before they can collect on his bill.

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IV. GO BACK TO WORK ,        ,, 
     The car has once again been stolen, and the PCs are ":   ",  " ; stuck hitchhiking in hell. The end.    "    .  .   A    #  , " , . ,,    "  : , 5  A ;;A ; ;;  .        ,#  5 
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THE ADVENTURE MATRIX (1D6 AT NEED)

VILLAINOUS GOAL HEROIC GOAL ORDINARY GOAL 1 Appease the Evil Master Achieve Justice Acquire Something 1 2 Conquer and Subjugate Aid or Rescue Victim(s) Build or Create Something 2 3 Prove Something Avert a Disaster Learn Something 3 4 Sow Chaos and Destruction Defend Honor Survive 4 5 Steal Thwart a Villain Travel Somewhere 5 6 Impress the Girl Impress the Girl Impress the Girl 6

VICTIMS VALUABLE THINGS DISASTROUS OUTCOME 1 Abstract Ideals Friends & Family Disease or Death 1 2 Doe-Eyed Children Inventions & Ideas Embarassment or Humiliation 2 3 Helpless Townsfolk Life Loneliness or Isolation 3 4 Puppies Riches & Resources Poverty 4 5 Someone Famous Widgets & Tools War 5 6 The Girl The Girl The Girl Likes Someone Else 6

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FANTASY LOCALES TABLE (TENS/ONES D6) PLACE DESCRIPTION STUFF 11 Abode [A Number from 2-10] Beasts 11 12 Butte [A Season] Chaos 12 13 Castle Accursed Children 13 14 Caves Ancient Demons 14 15 City Barren Dragons 15 16 Cliff Blessed Dreams 16 21 Cove Broken Ghosts 21 22 Dale Damned Gods 22 23 Desert Dark Heroes 23 24 Dunes Dead Jewels 24 25 Dungeons Doomed Kings 25 26 Fen Enlightened Magic 26 31 Fields Fire Men 31 32 Forest Forgotten Monsters 32 33 Fortress Golden Mystery 33 34 Glen Great Oaks 34 35 Hills Hairy Oracles 35 36 Island Haunted Pleasures 36 41 Kingdom Holy Rains 41 42 Lake Icy Riches 42 43 Land Iron Sacrifices 43 44 Marshes Lost Sages 44 45 Meadow Mystic Secrets 45 46 Mountains Perilous Serpents 46 51 Pass Sacred Songs 51 52 Ridge Shadow Sorrow 52 53 River Squandered Spirits 53 54 Steppe Sunken Stones 54 55 Tor Terrible Swords 55 56 Tower Twilight Tears 56 61 Trails Unambiguous Thieves 61 62 Vale Unknown Troubles 62 63 Valley Veiled Truths 63 64 Veldt Vile Warriors 64 65 Village Wandering Wisdom 65 66 Wood Wasted Witches 66

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THE BIG LIST (1D100) DIRTY LITTLE THRILLS ;  1))*>)* & ) 01-02 - Any Old Port 35-36 - Manhunt in a Storm 37-38 - Missing  8 03-04 - Better Late Memories Than Never 39-40 - Most Peculiar, K  ," "K  ,, :  05-06 - Blackmail Momma   / K . ,, .  07-08 - Breaking and 41-42 - No One 
" "#   ; Entering Has Soiled  :   ".  "  09-10 - Capture The Bridge .    ",:A "   the Flag 43-44 - Not In A#.:  " " A 11-12 - Clearing Kansas the Hex 45-46 - Ounces of     < ;@ " ,29 2 13-14 - Delver's De- Prevention A A":A   ",  light 47-48 - Pandora's Box .,  " "1, : ,  15-16 - Don't Eat the 49-50 - Quest for " S  5# A Purple Ones the Sparkly A< ;@ " , 17-18 - Elementary, Hoozits 29     ; My Dear 51-52 - Recent Ruins  ">  Watson 53-54 - Running 19-20 - Escort Service the Gauntlet 42:. 21-22 - Good House- 55-56 - Safari  .O,  keeping 57-58 - Score One "  ; 23-24 - Help is on For the P  . the Way Home Team    25-26 - Hidden Base 59-60 - Stalag 23  ,  27-28 - How Much 61-62 - Take Us to For Just the Memphis +##
 Dingus? and Don't <0# A 29-30 - I Beg Your Slow Down   ,  Pardon? 63-64 - Troublemakers  ., O. " " :  " 31-32 - Long or Short 65-66 - Uncharted Fork When Waters  P   ,J < Dining On Elf? 67-00 - We're on   *     )  33-34 - Look, the Outside    # +    Don't Touch Looking In      ,  ; , ":     ;     ;   "  " ,  RANDOM RISUS TRIVIA 1..   :,  + Despite being a hardcore fan of West End Games’ Ghost- +A   ":  busters RPG (the game that      . "   “fathered” Risus in many re- spects) since it first appeared, , , O A .  ,% : I never got to be a player in a  AP. #   ,   game of Ghostbusters until May of     .5 K 2002, when Dave Insel – who I met    # , :  A because he was a Cumberland .   4  ;, ; Games customer and member of the ,  !%1 Risus Mailing List – ran a game I could 2 *  :  " ,. " play in. Up until that point, I had only been a Ghost Master (for seventeen years)! " O     P  ,6 *11: ,, %#

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!%1/5D5' ..  . :. ..   ,   
 DIRTY LITTLE GAME MASTER   .   .A. ,  . ? A  .   9  Of course, the GM can enjoy most of these thrills, too, and more besides. During one of the  K   ,  "  I games I ran while finishing this book, I used an ? A "  .    old favorite ... presenting the PCs with a restau-  # I? A " "  rant in one scene (“Mmm. Yummy ribs!”) and I< %  
then revealing that the restaurant is a haven of cannibals in the next (“... Um. Eyes on the Prize Cannibals?”) Like most forms of classic humor,   ," ", MA:  the consumption of 9   . :# human flesh never fails  ". L: , "A  to earn an appreciative titter of amusement. " " , , ":A "2 When using this trick  #..  "A,; yourself, remember that  "O"   A it’s best to toss the canni-    AP: ; ' &# bal detail off-handedly into ,     LA , ": the middle of a bit of NPC ex-
2,  A:     # position, inspiring the players 1 A to interrupt you to make sure they heard you right. Bludgeons & Bloodlust  ,  L  A:  .  2 "#  ,  :     : "     A J; A:" %   A,   ))% J#   ",  , ;  : ; A 
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Bragging Rights A 5 " "2  A " > )D  A* )* #J 0  " A    . " # P # )  " " "  ,  :"  " ; 1)++   Revenge  :9   "  1: #<     , # " .  AA.   , ,:.   I :@  ,>'  5,      ,  .   . O    .P   / 9 . .  ; .   """  . A: :       :,  . , ": A " # " O    .P  " :  "A  #      AA A  A " ""      A " "1 : Strokes of Fortune All’s Well that Ends   # ," # "    ,     " AN  1  , " ",  ,;    ""   ,#   "  )*)% O ": APA " <0: A  /" ; A  : "     ":1 # # . ,   :# A "  A " ": . ; 1)  J      #    ,  "  ; ,;,      +          ; O,  A:P .      K ;   A   A A :    L  ##  "   , 9 "    "" ">9<  .  A  # " : ; Throwing Caution to the Wind  " ,  1  " : O ! A  :        , P   A%     " , "    .# "    "    ; A.  5   ,  "  ,A  
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 (3 MORE ADVANCED OPTIONS

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 A     "(  #  ,; , .    ?,A +   1   . A  .J " N  ,    A:        ".  #   "   ;     ,  A  N  ,   "6 )  #";  "L;       LUCKY SHOTS & ,:;  "A   : "    " "A  :    ":  QUESTING DICE  , :?, "    /    :     !2+#  ,  J   "    "  a+  ,  "   N     "a  :  :.+* .        ,M)%    " .  .   ;      .  " ; 4 "# .   , a. .A     , K   " " J  .       #)     , %#   " " :. Example: Cuno Salk’s player decides that,  .   .A instead of six generic lucky shots, he’d rather  :,   have ten questing dice. He defines Cuno’s quest as “the sweaty affections of a beauti- A  ,  "  ful redhead,” and immediately puts Cuno # :  on the trail. When brawling with a surly #  L ,   Thundark for the affections of a fire-   #  "%# haired beauty, Cuno can apply his quest-      " ing dice to any of his combat rolls #:,  , : K … but when brawling with a # , , 1   nine-meter Brain Worm in the steamy pits of Pretax VII, the #  ,, "    questing dice don’t apply. It’s true +A# " # that Cuno’s chances with cute redheads #M would be threatened by having his brain fluids sucked out, but unless CUNO SALK, SPACE ROGUE the Brain Worms have such a red- head captive, they aren’t directly in Description: The devil-may-care captain of the the path of his quest. Headlong Sun, Cuno spends half his life battling slimy 5,J "  J: bug-eyed monsters on distant jungle planets, and the other half out-sliming them in seedy spaceport sin-   #   O; ,  " gles bars.    ,J " P   J "  L:L " "J " Clichés: Cynical Space Captain (3), God’s Balding Gift to Women (3), Petty Criminal (2) ,  J OP . ,#  : ,  "  )> a  Lucky Shots: [ ] [ ] [ ] [ ] [ ] [ ] A ;J,

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SIDEKICKS A CORE CLICHÉ: THE WARRIOR AND SHIELD-MATES I am the Prince of Chichester!  A!9    – Groo the Wanderer ,, a O, P! : This cliché needs no introduction; he’s the star  K  , :.#"  slugger of nearly any heroic team. And we do O "H*;3P mean slugger, from knuckles to baseball bats to +   1   A  # depleted uranium rounds. The Warrior applies force to things that require breaking, bruising, , !9   ,.#"     burning, bleeding, and blowing to Kingdom , :   : O . P Come. ,  A::. "  .      Really, the only difference from genre to genre is  "   :# ", . effective range. The Warrior’s reach extends to    #"   " millions of miles in a science fiction setting, but  ##.  " A  " in every age, a real Warrior prefers to face his opponent, man to man. The Warrior is, in most  :, #   genres, presumed to be honest and forthright …     ##; !9 
 : force is simple, direct, and sincere. Technology 
;    :  :. -;  and magic is trickery, inherently untrustworthy. A$; 5    ,  That said, in games where magic is common-  ##  a%  9 place, quite a few “wizards” will really be war-  .a+,AJ#L  , riors, in terms of character appeal and cam- A  ",  " M paign role. The fun of playing the warrior is the fun of knowing that your place is where the ac-  + 5 " > . 0   O3P tion is – on the front lines, protecting those who   ,   need protecting and thumping those who need  +  B " O3P      a good thump. As long as you stand your K "   ground and face your quarry eye-to-eye, every- thing else is just light-shows and Foley art.  + <  O
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P: "  :A  , .  L A  !.A  . K :# M . ,  #  ,   # ;  ":# M TARGET NUMBERS FOLLOW THIS SCALE, INSTEAD: NO, TARGET NUMBERS 1: A cinch. A snap. A challenge for a Schmuck. FOLLOW THIS SCALE: Routine for a pro. 2: A cinch. A snap. A challenge for a Schmuck. 2: A challenge for a Professional. Routine for a pro. 3: An Heroic challenge. For really inventive 3: A challenge for a Professional. or tricky stunts. 5: An Heroic challenge. For really inventive or tricky 4: A challenge for a Master. Nearly superhuman stunts. difficulty. 7: A challenge for a Master. Nearly superhuman 5: You’ve GOT to be kidding. Actual superhuman difficulty. difficulty. 8: You’ve GOT to be kidding. Actual superhuman 6: Throwing a motorcycle. difficulty. 10: Throwing a tank. 10: Throwing a motorcycle. 14: Throwing a loaded train. 17: Throwing a tank. 17: Throwing a pile of 15,000 loaded trains . . . 23: Throwing a loaded train. 20: Kicking the Earth five feet out of orbit. 28: Throwing a pile of 15,000 loaded trains . . . 25: Kicking the Earth into the Sun 33: Kicking the Earth five feet out of orbit. 30: Kicking the Sun into the Earth 2 "  ,":; 35: Watching an entire episode of Star Trek: Voyager  "A #L., :      A  .  "  " . " +L # A 
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BOXCARS & DEADLY COMBAT BREAKTHROUGHS
  .   /    :  A    ) *   +  ,
  . #6A  .# " :    ,     , N   ; # ,     "@   ": :.: 2  :    % ):  "     6*  ," M5,   , 5,    .# A   AA  :A   A  ":    :    .  "      "   .5 " ,": Example: Grolfnar Vainsson the Viking is angling for ,  .  ,  " a night of sweaty affection with Urda, the Saucy Bar-    ":A  .  "  maiden (3) at the local mead hall. She’s out of his  5  ",".A /  /5, " league – his Womanizer (2) cliché is a little under the :> 2     , # curve – but nothing ventured, nothing gained. In the .   " ,. opening round of combat, Urda rolls a 14, but Grolf- nar rolls a 12, a pair of sixes. Since that’s a break-  #    , "4 through, he rolls again … and gets another pair of boxcars. His total is up to 24, and he rolls again, scoring a fairly humble 5. But humble on top of mag- A CORE CLICHÉ: THE WIZARD nificent is plenty; his total of 29 wins the round. Urda I was thrown out of N.Y.U. my freshman loses a die from her Saucy Barmaiden cliché, im- year for cheating on my metaphysics pressed by Grolfnar’s charm … or at least, by his final, you know. I looked within the soul charm relative to the three dozen other screaming of the boy sitting next to me. Vikings in the smoky hall. The battle for her affection continues … – Alvy Singer Example II: Barry Parker, in his heroic guise as Burn- The Wizard is two things at once: he’s a jack-of- ing Rubber, has carelessly set yet another building on all trades, able to stand in for any of the other fire, and he’s trying to rescue those leaping from it core clichés at some kind of cost (a handful of using his Stretching Guy (4d10) cliché. The GM says he newt eyes, the soul of his pet goldfish, his eye- can save all of them if he can beat a Target Number of sight and hair color), and he’s a willful plot de- 40. The dice drop, and three come up six. The fourth vice, able to achieve the impossible simply by one comes up 10. A total of 28 – not nearly good wanting and needing it to happen. If the group enough. The GM isn’t watching carefully, though, so is without a helicopter, the Wizard can fly them. Barry’s player cheats and nudges that last die so it, If they’re without allies, the Wizard can summon too, shows a six (total 24) – a breakthrough! Barry rolls magical brutes. If a beloved party member has the dice again, and the new roll totals 20 (grand total died, the wizard may be able to cheat the hand 44). Thanks to Burning Rubber’s heroic determination of death. and quick thinking (and the GM’s distracting infatua- Of course, “wizard” is a broad metaphor for any tion with a pop singer dancing half-dressed on TV in kind of hocus-pocus wielder, whether the hocus- the next room) Burning Rubber rescues everyone ex- pocus is black magic, white magic, mental pow- cept his publicist. Oops! Butterfingers. ers, or cosmic duct tape. That said, he’s most 2# "  "  ; comfortable in unabashed fantasy, where he  :.   A5   can stride around being cryptic, muttering in dead languages, and delivering dire warnings in :  "+   1  # a a booming baritone. When he makes the jump O
PH)  A, : to science fiction, he must run to ground a bit, # aOHP3)  A,5 disguising his powers behind a more specific ra- . , A  ,   ; tionale. In many forms of space adventure fic-  O3   PN   tion, he simply merges with the Mechanic as  J   Clarke’s famous axiom takes over, and every # , god is a god from the machine.

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LESSON SIX: THE PROCESS LESSON FOUR: PUTTING IT THE FIGURE ALL TOGETHER  ". ",    #  " A #,"      !      " ; A   : :   : 
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HALFWAY TO PERFECT THE COLOR PURPLE = ) 66 '#*& On the World Wide Web, “Risus Purple” is when coding  1) > 1>%&)!&) HTML, or RGB 255/143/255 when fiddling      , A # , around with web graphics. The purple used in  "+    " M#  , Risus itself (and in the Risus Companion) is called – for reasons too silly to worry about – A, "     “Risus Green.” It’s Hue 302.997 degrees, Satura-  , : +6'   tion 100%, Brightness 44.7% (or, if you prefer  , ., CMYK, it’s C 55.7% M 99.6% Y 13.7% K 1.2%) 5   9+ D D  A*  ,  ,A;# A K #  AA     . #  A5,
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A RISUS LEXICON

Beat – To equal or exceed the Funky – Any polyhedral die that Risus – A Latin term for laugh- Target Number is to “beat” it; isn’t a cube with faces numbered ter and smiles, with connotations it’s how characters succeed at an and/or pipped 1 through 6 is of foolishness or silliness. The unopposed cliché roll. “funky.” Specifically, though, proper pronunciation of the Latin Risus applies the term to dice term seems to be something like Bonus-Dice Gear – Any Tool of with more than six sides, since RREE-soos, with a bit of a roll on the Trade exceptional enough to the d4 doesn’t exist in the Risusi- that R. The official pronunciation provide some kind of bonus in verse and the d2 is just a coin, of the game’s title is REE-suss, game terms. people. And pro wrestling is fake with the vowel in the second syl- Classic Countdown – The prac- and there is no Santa Claus. lable voiced as briefly as possible tice of assigning a character Don’t read a glossary if you can’t – just enough to keep the conso- Cliché (4), Cliché (3), Cliché (2) handle the truth, man. nants from rubbing against one and Cliché (1) as a sure-fire mix another and catching fire. Grunt-Squad – Any collective of useful (and entertainingly less- NPC entity assigned a Cliché and Risusiverse – The world of useful) power levels … some dice. Grunt-Squads may Risus, including (but not limited Cliché – A character class. But have any number of dice. to) the game, the International so much cooler. Order, the mailing list, and the International Order of Risus bizarre headspace they all share. Combat – Any contest in which (IOR) – The worldwide Risus fan Pronounced Ree-SUSS-ih-vers. opponents jockey for position, club. Members of the Order re- utilize attacks, bring defenses to ceive a signed, numbered, stick- Single-Action Conflict – Any bear, and try to wear down their figured membership card and a conflict represented by all the foes to achieve victory. Either lit- copy of the Risus Companion. parties involved rolling the dice erally or metaphorically. But you knew that. just once. The GM compares the results to determine the outcome. Difficulty – The Target Number LCB – A Little Cartoon Bastard, for an unopposed cliché roll. a Risus stick figure. Target Number – The difficulty (q.v.) of an unopposed cliché roll. The Little Cartoon Bastards – The player must equal or exceed the Double Whammy – One of official name of the Risus stick- Target Number to “beat” it and many terms for a character de- figure mascots. Usually shortened achieve what he wants. sign strategy focused on combat. to “LCB.” By taking two clichés that are TN – Difficulty. Short for “Target Order, The – The International clearly appropriate for the same Number.” Order of Risus (q.v.) is often re- kind of combat, the character has ferred to as the Order. Tools of the Trade – A charac- a “fallback” cliché that will en- ter’s equipment. This includes any sure greater endurance, but not Potency – The number of dice portable item strongly implied by necessarily greater success. invested in a cliché. So, a Mighty his clichés (a revolver, fedora and Sailing Man (3) has a potency of Ford Prefect Strategy – A trenchcoat for a private eye, for three dice; a Skipper Brave and number crunching “trick” in char- example), but also – in some Sure (5) has a potency of five. acter design. A character built campaigns – larger, non-portable with the Ford Prefect Strategy has Primary – Your “primary” is property and yes-men (q.v.). at least one cliché of reasonable your primary cliché; it’s usually Yes-Men – Any Tools of the potency that will never be appro- the first one listed on your char- Trade that can move around with priate in the game, insuring that acter sheet, indicating your char- a semblance of free will. It’s only he can deal out “triple damage” acters central role (and race, if a semblance, though. Tools are in any combat. Named for Dou- he’s not human, etc). The rule tools. Yes-Men can also be Yes- glas Adams’ hitchhiking journalist “when in doubt, roll against your Robots, Yes-Spirits, Yes-Golems, character, who carried an Ameri- primary” is so simple and funda- Yes-A.I.s, Yes-Zombies, Yes-Pets, can Express Card with him be- mental to how I GM Risus that and (most importantly) Yes-Red- cause it was useful to have a I’ve never written it down. Oh. headed-Triplets-In-Catholic- form of payment nobody would Bugger. Schoolgirl-Outfits. ever be willing to accept.

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