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Home Front cover 12/21/10 5:54 PM Page 1 Parenting is increasingly important in public policy. A The Home Front | growing evidence base confirms our intuitions: parents play a “It is time to be key role in shaping children’s life chances. But socio- economic and environmental circumstances can shape and influence parents’ approaches for better and worse. honest about what Understanding these circumstances is key to supporting parents better. good parenting The Home Front debunks popular perceptions of a decline Jen Lexmond · Louise Bazalgette · Julia Margo in parenting ability that attribute blame to certain types of families. It shows that what can be learned about family life externally – family structure, household income, educational involves…” qualifications and so on – does not always align with the reality of day-to-day family life. Policymakers must use the evidence and resources available to identify the families most in need of support. THE HOME FRONT In this pamphlet, researchers go behind closed doors to observe the lived experiences of families today. Through in- depth, ethnographic case studies of families, nationally Jen Lexmond representative polling and policy review and analysis, we develop policies to ease the pressures on parents. The Home Louise Bazalgette Front recommends building the parenting skills base, Julia Margo targeting support according to need, applying the early intervention principle beyond the early years and supporting shared parenting, social networks and communities. Parents shoulder a great deal of responsibility for the life chances of the next generation. Better support for parents means sharing out that responsibility. Jen Lexmond is a Senior Researcher at Demos. Louise Bazalgette is a Researcher at Demos. Julia Margo is the Deputy Director of Demos. ISBN 978-1-906693-60-2 £10 © Demos 2010 Home Front cover 12/21/10 5:54 PM Page 2 This project was supported by: Demos is a think-tank focused on power and politics. Our unique approach challenges the traditional, ‘ivory tower’ model of policymaking by giving a voice to people and communities. We work together with the groups and individuals who are the focus of our research, including them in citizens’ juries, deliberative workshops, focus groups and ethnographic research. Through our high quality and socially responsible research, Demos has established itself as the leading independent think-tank in British politics. In 2011, our work is focused on four programmes: Family and Society; Violence and Extremism; Public Interest and Political Economy. We also have two political research programmes: the Progressive Conservatism Project and Open Left, investigating the future of the centre-Right and centre-Left. Our work is driven by the goal of a society populated by free, capable, secure and powerful citizens. Find out more at www.demos.co.uk. First published in 2011 © Demos. Some rights reserved Magdalen House, 136 Tooley Street, London, SE1 2TU, UK ISBN 978 1 906693 60 2 Series design by modernactivity Typeset by Chat Noir Design, Charente Printed by Lecturis, Eindhoven Set in Gotham Rounded and Baskerville 10 Cover paper: Flora Gardenia Text paper: Munken Premium White THE HOME FRONT Jen Lexmond Louise Bazalgette Julia Margo Open access. Some rights reserved. As the publisher of this work, Demos wants to encourage the circulation of our work as widely as possible while retaining the copyright. We therefore have an open access policy which enables anyone to access our content online without charge. Anyone can download, save, perform or distribute this work in any format, including translation, without written permission. 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To find out more go to www.creativecommons.org Contents Acknowledgements 7 Executive summary 9 Section 1 Parents matter 21 1 The state of parenting 23 2 Methodology and ‘meeting the parents’ 39 Section 2 Influences on parenting 51 3 ‘Learning’ to be a parent 53 4 Relationships at home 67 5 Social networks and community 83 6 Financial resources 99 7 Work 109 Section 3 Supporting parents: policy priorities and gaps in service 119 8 Targeting support at disadvantaged parents 121 9 Building a ‘big society’ to support parents 137 10 Supporting stable relationships and shared parenting 157 11 Recommendations 175 12 Conclusion 191 Contents Appendices 193 Notes 203 References 239 7 Acknowledgements First and foremost, we would like to thank the families, parents, children, friends, teachers and carers who took part in the research, without whom this project would not have been possible. At Demos we would like to thank Celia Hannon for her guidance, support and encouragement throughout the report writing process. Thanks to Dom Longford for his support on the quantitative analysis of the cohort studies. Thanks to Harry Hoare, Sam Kiss, Mona Bani, Rosa Tarling, Joe Coward, Alex Canfor-Dumas, Patrick McKearney and Tim Watts for their excellent research support over the course of the project. Thank you to Sarah Kennedy, Ralph Scott and Beatrice Karol Burks for their expert coordination of the media, launch and production of this report. In our fieldwork, we would like to extend our most sincere thanks to everyone who invited us to their organisations: Mariam Akhtar, Caroline Leahy, Marian Davis, Pat Roberts, Cheryl Brazier and Claire Sloss at Action for Children; Lauren Monaghan-Pisano and Chris Muwanguzi at Coram; Rhian Beynon and Nia Bellot at Family Action, Heidi Lovely and her team at the Leigh, Lowton and Golborne Family Service; and Gemma Bull at Save the Children. Thank you also to Phil Mayo and Evelyn Holdsworth for their invaluable support, time and advice. Thank you to Ruth Payne and Steve Bell for being part of our research team and expertly designing and conducting our ethnographic work, and also for their helpful comments on later drafts of the report. Finally, special thanks to the Office of the Children’s Commissioner, and in particular to Ross Hendry, for making this project possible. As always, all errors or omissions remain our own. Jen Lexmond Louise Bazalgette Julia Margo January 2011 9 Executive summary The Home Front provides an up to date understanding of the pressures and influences on parents, and makes recommenda- tions to policy makers for where to go from here in developing parent-focused policy. There has been a huge shift in the policy focus on parenting in the past decade: parenting is seen as a legitimate source for policy intervention and a big investment into the parenting workforce and early years services has followed. But the success of many of these new projects and services has been called into question and the current climate of cuts and reduced public service spending confounds decisions about what to try next and what services should be prioritised. In addition, a change of government has brought new policy priorities and a new vision for how best to support families. At times like these, where political and financial concerns loom large, returning to the subjects of the discussion provides clarity. This report has drawn most heavily on in-depth, ethno- graphic research with families, children and parents in order to understand the reality of parenting in today’s society and to draw conclusions about the best way to support parents. The research has been based on polling of parents’ attitudes about parenting and observing their daily lives. The perspectives of children have been placed at the centre of our analysis through employing the principles of participation, observation and listening throughout the course of our fieldwork. We have worked to put the insights gained from individual families into the wider social and economic context of British parenting today. As this report makes clear, major social and economic shifts have led to parenting being seen as increasingly important and have made the job of parenting more difficult. Key findings from each chapter are listed below. Executive summary Parenting has become more important in determining life chances Social mobility has stagnated over the last decade and at the same time the skills required for success have broadened and softened. The most sought after skills today – soft skills like self- regulation, empathy and application – begin to develop in the very earliest years and parents play the primary role in developing them in children. As the wealth gap has grown and opportunities have diminished, parenting has become a greater determinant of children’s life chances. Parents’ role as the archi- tects of a fairer society adds mounting pressure to an already very difficult job. Understanding how parents learn about parenting and supporting ‘good parenting’ are key tasks for government. Learning to be a parent · Parents learn about parenting primarily through their own parents. There is a clear transmission of parenting attitudes and capabilities between parent and child that starts at a very early age. · Parents use secondary sources such as friends, broadcast information and professional advice for information and advice about parenting. Government literature on the subject is consulted least of all. · Parenting advice makes parents feel more confident, not less confident, about their abilities. · Early intervention is not just an investment in children’s outcomes; it is an investment in the next generation of parents. ‘Good’ parenting · There are better and worse ways to bring up children and support their healthy behavioural and cognitive development.