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Disclaimer: SM Owns Twilight, but This Plot Is Mine

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Disclaimer: SM Owns Twilight, but This Plot Is Mine Disclaimer: SM owns Twilight, but this plot is mine Written by CaraNo Beta’d by HollettLA 1. I listen to Alice; I really do. "…and then he started talking about how much he had invested in our relationship. I was the one who brought good things into…" But it's easy to tune out. She makes it so incredibly hard for herself. "…I got so mad, ya know? 'Cause he made me feel so fucking cheap…" I sip my Bella. Vodka, Sprite, pear juice, and lime. Oh, yes. I have my own drink here at Click. It's our bar. Well, it's Demetri's bar, but it's our hangout. Rose, Alice, and I meet up here a few times a week just to talk, talk, talk. "…I mean, I'm a fucking catch, right? And then…" I tilt my head a little, bringing back a few words… Hmm. The writer in me doesn't know when we're off the clock. "…all about my assets. He's just not worth it…" It's funny. I write about relationships for a living, but I refuse to be in one myself. "…because I'm valuable…" Instead, I often use Alice and Rose. They inspire me. I'm fascinated. They're both so unlike me. Maybe it's because I grew up without a female role model. "…so, now I'm back on the market." There it is again. Those words. She's talking about what's supposed to be love. But all I hear is "investing", "cheap", "assets", "worth", "market". Aren't those words you find in that boring section… what's it called? Oh, right. Finances. "You did a good thing, Alice," Rose says seriously, even nodding for emphasis. "Alec can rot in hell." "I know," Alice huffs in return. "I want someone who doesn't see me as a fucking possession." Uh-huh. But doesn't she turn herself into a possession by using words to advertise herself? She's a catch. She's on the market. She's worth a fortune. She brings assets to a relationship. She's like an iPhone with plenty of apps. I love my iPhone. "Anyway…" Alice sighs, and I know she's done for this time. Now it's Rose's turn. Or mine, but I rarely have anything to contribute. While Alice is all up in the dating game, Rose is stuck in a marriage she hates – but not enough to get out of – and me… Well, I don't change. I work, I meet friends, I fuck, and I'm happy. Seriously, I love my life. I'll be twenty-five next week. I currently have two jobs that I love, I have good and loyal friends, I have the sexiest fuck-buddy that God ever created, I adore my apartment, and I have my own drink. What's not to love? "I think Royce is cheating on me!" Rose blurts out. Oy. "Hold that thought," I say, putting up my index finger. "I just need to go to the bathroom first." I hurry. Once I'm there, I pull out my phone. Do you have time tonight? I need it. ~Bella. It never takes long for him to answer, and my pussy is always ready for him. For you? Absolutely, baby. I'll be home after ten. Spending the night? – Edward. Ungh. If you don't mind. See you later ;) ~Bella. 1. Do you have time tonight? I need it ~Bella. Fuck, yes. For you? Absolutely, baby. I'll be home after ten. Spending the night? – Edward. If you get a text from the sexiest woman on the planet and she's asking you to fuck her, you say yes. Plain and fucking simple. If you don't mind. See you later ;) ~Bella. I chuckle. Definitely don't mind, beautiful. – Edward. Ask me what her middle name is, and I won't have an answer. Ask me how she is in bed, and I will tell you that she's fucking spectacular. Hands down, the best sex ever. And I've been the one fucking her for the past six months. Bella Swan. A year younger than me… I think… or maybe two. She's a writer. She's originally from Seattle. That's what I know. Unless we're talking about her body. I know everything about that body of hers. "Lemme guess. Bella." I look up from my phone, noticing that Emmett and Jasper are both watching me. Jasper's annoyed, and Emmett's jealous. I smirk. "Yep," I say, answering Emmett before tipping back my beer bottle. I'm getting laid tonight. They're not. Because they don't have what I have. Emmett's all about one-night stands – he's out every weekend. That was never for me, but it was necessary evil for a while before I found Bella. As for Jasper, he's all about dating. He goes out on two to four dates every week, spending hundreds of dollars for nothing. 'Cause you see, he's a picky fucker, and he rarely reaches date number two – much less date number three – with a woman. Which means he rarely gets laid. Unless he goes out with Emmett after a failed date just to drag home some nameless tail to get that release. Nah, I'm glad I don't have that shit. Instead, I have Bella. Our arrangement is pure perfection. We both have needs, we're both great in the sack, we're both fucking wild, and we're not interested in relationships. And lemme tell ya. That girl is insatiable. She's not one of those who just lays there. She's kinky, she's fierce, she's full of hunger, and she's fucking bendy. When we met at some club back in March, I knew right away that I had to have her, and the night we spent together was un-fucking-believable. So, yeah, I was very agreeable when she woke me up the next morning, asking me if we could have some sort of arrangement. Much like me, she was sick of random hook-ups. And since then, it's just been the two of us. We've been tested, and we're exclusive, which means no more rubber. I fucking hate rubber. To summarize: I own her body, and she owns mine. But that's as far as it goes. We hook up at my place a few times a week, and that's it. No questions asked, no answers given. I don't know anything about her, and she doesn't know anything about me. Again, unless you count what goes on in the bedroom. Or kitchen, or living room, or shower… you get it. I think the only thing she knows about me is my name and age. And my address, of course. Wait, she knows my birthday, too, actually. Yeah, 'cause before I knew about the guys' plan to throw me a party, I made plans with Bella. So, I met her after the party. She even dressed up that night. Or rather, dressed down. Damn, I'll never forget when she showed up at my door, wearing nothing but a red thong – with "Happy Birthday" on it, mind you – underneath her tight, black trench coat. Down, boy. "How long have you been seein' her now? Six months or something?" Jazz asks, still scowling a little. I swear, his face would be serene if he only got some. "You know it can't last forever, don't you?" I shrug. Of course it can't last forever. As much as I hate relationships, I do want kids some day. But I'm only twenty-six. There's no rush. As long as Bella's game, I can have her for another year or two before I start worrying about that. "Why worry about that now?" I ask. "What we have is fucking perfect," I chuckle, "Pun intended." Emmett barks out a laugh. "I don't get it, dude. There's nothing she says no to, right?" I grin and nod affirmatively, 'cause that's right. We've even tried anal sex. She was curious about it, and I thought I'd died and gone to heaven. Not that it was something I'd spent my life dreaming about, but I'm a guy. Many guys want to try it. We were each other's first there, but it just goes to show how perfect we are for this. We're comfortable with each other, it's always exciting, and we trust each other enough to try new things. As for anal sex, though… Yeah, not really our thing. But hey, we tried it a few times, and that's that. Now we know. "Exactly," Em continues, shaking his head. "How the fuck haven't you married her yet? I mean, I'm not into relationships either, but if I had someone as awesome as you say Bella is… What gives?" I don't miss a beat. "She's perfect because I don't know her. I've never even seen her apartment. We're always at my place, ya know?" They nod, 'cause they know this. "Well, I'm sure that if I did see it, I'd see perfection. I wouldn't see empty juice cartons in the fridge, and the toilet seat would be down. There would be fluffy pillows in happy colors on the couch, and there would be pictures of puppies and shit on the walls." I shrug.
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