Playa Cookery

PLAYA COOKERY

A Gift By

James Shearhart

This is dedicated to Alton Brown, because he’d probably enjoy the challenge of the playa, and he’d probably Get It. There will always be a place at my table for him….

All quotes in italics are referenced to the M.F.K Fisher translation of Physiologie du goût (The Physiology of Taste) by Jean A. Brillat-Savarin.

Second Edition

[Note for PDF edition – this was originally laid out for printing on a four-by-eight booklet, so there will be some strangeness in format. Deal with it.]

2 Introduction

A man who eats well and who repairs his bodily losses with wisdom and discernment can withstand more exertion than any other living creature.

One must be touched by a unique kind of madness to willingly take a vacation for the better part of a week in an environment that can kill an unwary person in less than three days. As indicated by the title, this is a book that may be useful for cooking in the area of Nevada called the Black Rock Desert, a singular 200 square mile area some 4,000 feet above sea level, some 100 miles northeast of Reno. That being said, this is not a book to help one survive in the desert, at least in the strictest sense. This work assumes that one already knows how to survive on the playa; that having adequate shelter and food and clothing for the time spent, that duct tape, rope, and rebar are one’s best inanimate friends, that one is fully able to take care of oneself, are already ingrained in the potential playa cook. This also assumes that one knows a bit about cooking in general, that one is fundamentally competent in the kitchen in the default world, that recipes are not indecipherable algebra to the intrepid cook. This is a work about personal culinary survival, with a modicum of style, for someone who has a modicum of culinary knowledge. There are no great lessons to be learned here, merely the fundamentals adapted to that which the environment and circumstances demand. This, by and large, is not so much a cookbook, than a curiosity that offers suggestions and recipes to the curious. Beyond the pork-and-beans eaten cold out of the can, the 99-cent ramen, the canned tuna and crackers, beyond the health-food bars eaten at fifteen minute intervals, this is will hopefully show you a way of being self-sufficient and primordially godlike on the playa, in that you can bring manna to the desert for friends and family to enjoy.

3 Beginnings

Cooking is the oldest of all the arts…Cooking is also of all the arts the one which has done most to advance our civilization….

First things first. I am no doctor, nor dietician, nor health-food expert, nor lifestyle guidance councilor. The suggestions and ideas and methods and recipes found herein are by and large founded on the intelligence of a single individual who happens to count himself as an apolitically erudite omnivore who knows whence his food comes, and has small reservation as to the source. I’ve concocted these sections in the same view, as an individual who has no dietary restrictions stemming from health or ethics. You know what you are willing and able to ingest, I merely provide a selection of observations as to the activity of eating on the playa. The other factor to these ideas and suggestions and methods and recipes is they are presented for use by solo individuals or by groups of no more than four persons, so obviously the suggestion of, say, bringing a single camp stove for the week, isn’t gonna work for a camp of 15 persons. Adapt your math as the numbers dictate. That being said, let’s now explore the area in which we are to cook….

A Series of Casual Tendencies

The playa as we tend to experience it consists of a hard-baked surface of silt alkaline of a pH value above seven, that has a tendency to break down from its usual cracked grey chunky clay crust to an astonishingly fine powder when trod upon, a powder that has a tendency to be lifted by the slightest of breezes and deposited wherever the hell it sees fit to settle. This occasional breeze also has a tendency to whip up to speeds clocking from 20 to 70 miles an hour, which tends to do nothing in the way of cooling one in the midst of the seasonal heat that can easily reach 100 degrees without trying too hard. And there are also the dust devils, or ancestors if you like, which wander about on their own, poking through the occasional campsite. And it also tends to rain at a moment’s notice, sweeping in and soaking everything before vanishing a little while later, turning the grey chunky crust into a grey soupy clay-like substance that tends to trap the occasional unwary foot when trod upon. At night, the temperature tends to drop pretty dramatically, usually down to the 60’s, which doesn’t sound like much unless you consider that this usually means a drop of at least thirty degrees in the span of a few hours. The chemical composition of the playa tends to be rather abusive to human skin, tending to be hygroscopic and mildly abrasive, which basically means the ground acts like a fine grain sandpaper that likes to suck moisture out of living tissue. This tends to be a harsh environment, one not particularly conducive to proper cooking, and, depending on the individual, one may tend to have a decreased appetite while out on the playa. So why bother with cooking anything?

Why bother?

The pleasure of eating is the actual and direct sensation of satisfying a need. The pleasures of the table are a reflective sensation which is born from the various circumstances of place, time, things, and people who make up the surroundings of the meal.

Everyone has their reasons for being out on the playa. By and large, it stems from a particularly creative impulse, and while it may not be the first thing brought to mind when one thinks of artistic expression, the act of cooking can be a form of creativity. As with any other artistic endeavor, the interaction between the creator and the recipient of the creation can be rewarding for both, even more so, as this particular act of creativity is immediate: the cook cooks, and the eater says yum. The playa is a unique location and environment, a blank canvas if you will, upon which one may construct memories and experiences, and as any foodie worth the title will tell you, one of the prime factors in the whole culinary experience is the way food can trigger memory, how 4 taste and smell can transport a person’s thoughts elsewhere. Nostalgia isn’t born fully grown into memory, it’s created by experience, and many times food plays an important part in those memories. There is also the factor of human interaction. The basic function of hospitality, that is, to take in guests, make them comfortable, give food and drink freely, see to a certain level of their well-being, and then send them on their way with good will, is something of an art in and of itself. The concept of medieval hospitality, the laws of the hearth and table, are certainly applicable on the playa, in that it’s basically us humans versus the harsh landscape, and anyone that you invite to your table is, fundamentally, under your protection and is your responsibility until they leave. Given that, one might want to make an effort to enjoy the company of strangers when it occurs, as I understand this is how friendships begin. This, of course, is not the sole means of friendship-generating human interaction. One can set up an art piece on the playa and meet new friends at the 3AM bass-and-drum fest, and still come away with the kinds of memories that the playa tends to supply. But to invite strangers to your table and surprise them with foods they were not expecting can lead to a series of interesting moments, at the very least impressing them with your highly refined skills of self- reliance. The time spent on the playa can be unique, and these times of normality found in cooking can allow one for periods of clarity and reflection, a quiet pause from sun and stimulation, a little time for the mind to assimilate all that is going on, and not make one’s time on the playa feel like one big sleepless blur.

Getting It There, and Keeping It There

There are probably more important things to think about when one is actually out on the playa, but when one is safe at home, and about to get their playa kitchen together, there’s one thing to keep in mind, beyond the obvious of bring enough to eat and drink to stay alive:

Small Pack In – Zero Pack Out

This phrase should affect nearly every aspect of your playa kitchen. But first, one of the big questions for the playa kitchen:

What Kitchen Equipment Do I Bring?

First and foremost – never bring anything to the playa that you would hate to lose. If you have a favorite kitchen utensil, leave it at home, and find a replacement, preferably inexpensive, or better yet, thrift store cheap. The equipment should reflect a sense of utility, wherein a single element can serve several purposes. The equipment should also reflect intended use on the playa, ie: if you don’t plan on steaming fresh vegetables, you don’t need to bring a steamer basket. Basically, specialized equipment should be left behind, and tasks and needs should be met with a minimum of hardware. To this end, I suggest this for a starter playa kitchen:

One 12” cast iron skillet or stainless steel fry pan Two 8-quart cooking/stock pots with heavy lids One 1-quart pan One chef knife One paring knife One large wooden raw food cutting board One medium plastic raw meat cutting board Set of at least four metal mixing bowls One 1/2C measuring cup [2x1/2 = 1, 1/2 – 1/2 = 1/4, etc.] One pair of stainless steel spring-loaded tongs At least 10-15 cloth hand towels Two folding/card tables (one prep and one cook) Dishwashing detergent (preferably biodegradable) One or two large plastic bin/bus tub (pseudo-sink) One gardening pump sprayer (for dish washing) One large plastic mesh bag (hanging dish dryer) Two 5-gallon plastic buckets with tight-fitting lids Two or three green scrubbie pads Several sizes of resealable plastic bags Heavy-duty aluminum foil Several heavy-duty plastic trash bags A few lengths of burlap [wet garbage sieve] Three or four wooden cooking spoons One wooden spatula Two or four rolls paper towels Two manual can openers Three grill lighters (extras never hurt) One set heavy welding gloves (as potholders)

6 There will be those that will suggest that this list is insufficient; others will claim it is perhaps cluttered – the idea is to provide a starting point. One will eventually figure out what one needs and doesn’t need. This also reflects an assumption that the average playa-goer is one who has a standard-sized car and intends to camp in a tent, so space and conditions are much more limited than, say, a rented RV or a camp based inside a large pink geodesic dome in the shape of a pig’s head.

There is a fine line between what the kitchen needs, and what the camp needs, so such things as duct tape, fire extinguisher, chairs, or zip ties are not listed – this is as kitchen-specific as possible.

And there’s also a fine line between kitchen equipment and dining equipment – I know of people that will eat every meal straight out of the single pot they’ve brought. Suffice to say, one’s choice of their own set of dishes and flatware can vary wildly, be it a plastic plate, a sports bottle, and a titanium spork, or paper plates and fingers. A set of personal eating things per person plus a short stack of paper plates and plastic forks for guests should cover the basic needs. If you anticipate, or even welcome, daily gatherings of strangers to your table, you should plan accordingly.

[This space left blank for notes. No, really. It’s not a layout flaw. This was intentional….]

7 Heating and Cooling

What makes a kitchen a kitchen, and not, say, a walk-in closet, is the presence of a heat source for cooking and a large resealable container for cooling. These two factors are what one basically attempts to recreate in the playa kitchen. The following are a generous selection of solutions of variable degrees, ranked mostly in order of reliability and ease of use. I suggest starting out with the Tried and True, before venturing into the realm of Insanely Clever and Non- OSHA-Compliant.

Methods of cooking

Propane gas camping stove – This is probably your best bet for a utilitarian use cooking heat source. Coming in various sizes and numbers of burners, it’s relatively reliable, and relatively clean. One of the few drawbacks is that the playa can be pretty rough on them, with dust getting into the valves and the heat and dryness accelerating the eventual decay to the rubber tubing. Typically, they use the small quart-sized bottles for tabletop cooking, of which one will need to take more than a couple, but many models can take the large 5-gallon tanks, which is also useful for: Propane gas grill – I would actually recommend this over the camping stove, as it can do everything that the stove can do, and also grill. The only drawbacks are the size difference in transporting space, and the temperature control between multiple burners (kinda hard to both simmer and stir fry at the same time on a gas grill). Charcoal grill – If your eating plans are built around a “one hot meal a day” motif, a charcoal grill may be worth the time and space: a bag of chunk charcoal, a chimney starter, several sheets of newspaper, and a trowel and can for ashes, can be stored inside the grill for transport. One of the benefits over the propane is one can use the charcoal grill as a burn barrel for casual warming and campfire songs. Because of the ash containment, and the coal-ignition time lag, I don’t really recommend charcoal grills for constant daily culinary use. And if and when the winds come, the whole endeavor is for naught, moreso than with gas.

Less Conventional Methods

Solar Methods – There’s a lot of sunshine on the playa, and many folks have taken advantage of this: Solar Cookers – Generally, this means solar radiation being reflected into a compact area, usually with a parabolic or panel mirror array. This radiation is then focused either onto the bottom of a cook pot, or across the surface of a cooking container. These can range from expensive steel-and-shiny-part units to cardboard constructions covered in aluminum foil. They can get fairly hot, clocking in at about 150-200°F, but the reflectors have to be maintained in regards to sun position and dust accumulation. Not really recommended for true cooking, but suitable for the eventual warming of pre-cooked foods. And heating water for tea, I suppose. Solar Ovens – A bit like a solar cooker, but instead of focusing the radiation into a specific area, the entire unit absorbs solar radiation and heats a closed interior, oddly enough, just like an oven. Slightly easier to construct and maintain than a cooker, the box keeps out dust and can absorb solar radiation from any direction. Excellent for heating traditional microwave meals, or pre-cooked items, save for the waiting game of thermodynamics. Solar Laziness – I fundamentally do not recommend such activities, but I understand some folks will take unopened canned foods, stews and soups and such, and set them on the dashboard of their vehicles and walk away for a few hours, and let nature do its work on the metal can via sunlight through the

8 windshield. The only trick is attempting to work a can opener on a can that is full of hot chow. In the same vein, there are those that will take the aforementioned frozen microwave foods, wrap each serving in aluminum foil, and set it on top of their vehicle for a few hours. Slightly better than the can trick, I think, only I’m too much into the control of food temperature to take a whack at this, but your mileage may vary. Many websites are out there that can instruct one in the construction and use of solar cookers and ovens: solarcooking.org seems to be one of the larger sites on the subject. Just the DIY project to tackle during the quiet months off the playa. Other Methods – Less conventional than even solar power, some folks get it into their heads to be exceedingly clever out on the playa, to varying degrees of success. Here are a few things one might try, if one is confident in their wilderness cookery experience. Stone is occasionally used with fire to modest success, as in a pizza stone on a hibachi for a griddle, or stacks of fireplace brick to construct a wood-burning brick oven. Stone likes to hold onto heat for awhile, so temperature control is fuzzy at best, but if one is daring enough to attempt any baking (bread/cake/playa-made pizza), stone is your best bet. Fire barrels have occasionally been used for cooking, although this tends towards the campfire-weenie-roast style of cuisine. I’ve also seen steel oil drums cut lengthwise and whole pigs rotisseried over coals in them, as well as steel grates set over the bisected drums for use as large-spread charcoal grills. If you are feeling particularly avant-guard, one may employ a technique I nicked from Alton Brown – use the gas burner from a turkey deep fryer setup and use a well-seasoned wok for all your cooking. One burner, one cook pot, and minimal cleanup. Just make sure you know your burner and wok well, and have no problem with stir-fry for every meal. I suppose one could reheat soups and stews in a wok as well, but I digress. Some enterprising and creative folks have constructed their own propane grills and stoves out of non-conventional materials; metal coffins, small car bodies, portable pieces of machinery, all reworked and tubed for propane use. Fun and arty. Technically a form of food heating, there are things out on the market called self- heating meals, which use a food-grade magnesium/water mixture to heat the enclosed foods. I can vouch for neither the gee-whiz element nor the food contained therein, but I suppose it would make for a conversation starter.

I should point out that these ideas and suggestions are predicated on the fact that I am not here to teach you to use your equipment – RTFM as the IT folks say – learn to operate all your kitchen equipment before getting to the playa.

Methods of refrigeration

Coolers – That’s pretty much it for cooling techniques – unless you bring a generator and an electric refrigerator, one is limited to Frozen Things Stored Within Thermally Neutral Containers. Expanded polystyrene is not particularly welcome on the playa, as it has a tendency to break up with use, and the winds can snatch it out of camps, so leave the Styrofoam cooler at home, and get a couple of nice sturdy coolers. What you should look for is a water-tight plastic interior and a solid metal or plastic exterior, with a hinged lid and a strong latch, preferably one that clasps and tightens the lid down onto a soft airtight gasket-style seal. Why a couple of coolers? Because one is to be used for Frequent Openings, and one for Long-Term Storage. More on this later. Suffice to say, one will need more than one cooler. Maybe even three, a third full of drinks and ice for the drinkers, which will have to be constantly refilled with ice. There are some that will pack a separate cooler for the second half of their stay on the playa and seal it with tape, cracking it open only when the first cooler of food is gone. This, of course, doesn’t mean that one must buy the most expensive cooler on the market – one can also make a cooler. If one is handy, make a nice sized box with a lid out of plywood, glue sheets of Styrofoam on the interior, and line it with heavy plastic. Set the edge of the lid with vinyl weatherstripping and use a set of nylon packing straps to keep the lid on tight. It’ll be kinda heavy, so a set of handles and rubber wheels might be a good idea as well. I’ve heard of cardboard boxes used in the same way. I shan’t get into the thermodynamic principals between the irreversible adiabatic process and the tendencies of thermal equilibrium, but the bottom line is Cold Stuff really wants to be the same temperature as the Surround Air, so we want to fool it into believing that it already is at the Best Temperature Possible, for as long as possible. As the basic property of Cold is actually the Lack of Heat (as in reduced molecular activity), keeping something cold is not done by making something cold, but by keeping it away from heat. Water freezes at 32°F, and has a consistent melting temperature, which is why it’s been used as a cooling agent since, well, the Ice Age. So Ice, or Ice-Like Agents, should be used in your cooler. Science-types call this non-cyclic refrigeration. As space is a bit of a premium in coolers, I’d recommend not taking up a lot of space with non-edible stuff, such as “freezer packs” or dry ice. Freeze several plastic containers of drinking water, and once these melt, you still have drinking water, as opposed to sublimated dry ice vapor or sealed containers of blue liquid that serve little more than doorstops once thawed. Dry ice is good mostly for long-term non-opening conditions, such as the aforementioned “second half” food cooler. o Take care when handling dry ice – it is sub-freezing, and can do your skin some damage – read up on its properties and use heavy gloves before playing with the stuff. Meats and fluid-based foods (soup/stew/etc) can be frozen and act as a cooling agent for the little while they remain frozen, and any non-carbonated drinks in cans and plastic bottles should be frozen as well. Just remember that water expands a bit when frozen, so one runs the slight chance of container rupture with factory-sealed items, and carbonated drinks have been known to pop in the freezer. Pre-frozen foods, as in foods found in plastic bags in the freezer aisle of the grocery store, can also act as Cooling Agents, so long as you truly intend to eventually eat, say, a pound and a half of frozen asparagus tips. Frozen packaged meals likewise, but remember that the foods will not stay frozen, and that paper packaging containing your microwave lasagna will eventually become soggy with thawed condensation, not to mention that bag of frozen burritos slowly unrolling into a bag of tortilla-and-bean mush as they thaw. Plan out your storage according to what you are likely to get into more frequently than the rest. A cooler that is subject to Frequent Openings is more likely to thaw out faster than a Long- Term Storage Cooler, so pack accordingly. I know of some folks that pack a special cooler just for the day of Arrival on the playa, as well as a cooler for the Journey to the playa.

10 For the week, one primary cooler may be used for drinks and condiments and That Day’s Meals, while a secondary will hold the rest of the week’s meals and extra water and both frozen and non-frozen drinks. Items are rotated into the Primary Cooler during the morning or evening, and all coolers are stored in shade, wrapped in reflective thermal blankets or regular blankets or tarps, anything that keeps the sun off and the hot air away from the surface of the coolers. I’ve heard of some folks making “cooler cozies”, cutting and sewing quilted material and blankets into a form-fitting covering, much like a car cover or, well, a teapot cozy. Ask an old British person, they’ll explain what a teapot cozy is. If one is really clever, one may make a list of contents and quantities and post it on the cooler lids (or maybe a dry erase whiteboard), checking off what is removed when it is taken, so one doesn’t have to open the cooler and root around for something that isn’t there anymore, thereby reducing the loss of cold.

To Summarize:

Use more than one cooler for the time on the playa – a Primary Cooler for Frequent Opening and a Secondary Cooler for Occasional Opening. Maybe one more for Drinks Only, as this may be the most frequently accessed cooler in your camp. Freeze drinking water and non-carbonated drinks for Cooling Units. Freeze meats and liquid-based foods for Cooling Units. Try to not take up space with non-edible items. Keep coolers out of sources of heat (sunlight/hot air/warm asses/etc), and wrap in layers of insulation (blankets/tarps/reflective material). Open as infrequently as possible, and keep openings to mornings and evenings. Try to avoid storing coolers inside closed vehicles or ill-ventilated tents, as this is akin to storing the cooler in an oven. Move the Meals for the Day from Long-Term Storage to Primary Cooler during the cool of the morning or evening. Anticipate one’s drinking habits for the day and store/thaw drinking water accordingly.

And while were on the subject of coolers, I’ll take the moment to advise that any and all foodstuffs that go into the coolers are to be put into resealable plastic bags or containers. You can and will get varying amounts of water in your coolers from melting and condensation, and this is a Bad Thing when trying to keep healthy on the playa. Food floating in cooler water is a potential environment for food-borne illness. Keeping everything in a separate sealed container inside the cooler is highly recommended.

Health

[I]t was being said aloud in the world’s drawing rooms that a science which nourishes men is worth at least as much as one which teaches them to kill each other….

Medical-types call it homeostasis, wherein an organism existing within tolerable conditions has properly functioning body systems that allow it to, well, live. The playa is notorious for monkeying with people’s well-being, better than half of which stems from folks inflicting strange and unusual conditions upon themselves in the name of recreation. Be that as it may, there are a few things to keep an eye on, if only to keep upright and mobile whilst in the throes of sleep deprivation and sensory overload.

Dehydration – The number one reason folks get knocked on their ass and into a medical situation is from not drinking enough water. That is water, not just fluids. The climate of the playa will suck moisture out of a body almost without the body noticing. Early signs are headache, dizziness, irritability, sleepiness, and, oddly enough, thirst. One also needs a bit of moisture in the system to digest food properly, but don’t overdo it, as you may get: Hyponatremia – Low or diluted sodium levels in the bloodstream. This shows up as muscle cramps, nausea, and an overall condition of confusion or disorientation. Drinking a lot of water as one is supposed to on the playa can contribute to this, and it is best remedied by eating something salty (like those potato crisps in the tall red can), or drinking a sports drink containing sodium. Electrolyte Imbalance – While sodium is only one of several electrolytes in a human body, shortages of potassium, magnesium, and calcium can muck about with one’s well- being as well, as electrolytes are there to regulate pretty much every body function. Muscle fatigue and general weakness can be caused by this. Again, a nice sports drink can fix the problem, so long as one doesn’t drink only sports drinks, as the body will detect the overabundance of vitamins and minerals and such, and will attempt to purge the excess, most likely out the back way, ya know, what you are most likely sitting on right now. Various fruits and vegetables can also do the replenishment trick as well, but these will not survive too long on the playa, so fruit or vegetable-based drinks can work wonders as replacements, so drink your Blood Mary when it’s offered. Malnutrition – This over-used word can encompass everything from iron depletion in menstruating women to marasmus in third-world countries to scurvy in the British Navy. The high points pertaining to the playa are: o Lack of protein – One can get in the habit of eating just carbs and sugars and fats, and forget the protein. This can lead to bouts of fatigue and listlessness. According to Harold McGee in the indispensable On Food and Cooking, we have a basic functioning need for 70 to 90 grams of protein a day. On the playa, even more so. And it doesn’t even need to be from animal protein; beans and nuts can serve as well. But if you are one that is worried about eating animals, you already know this…. o Lack of carbs / sugars / fats – The playa is not really the place to be on a diet, let alone starting a diet, the environment will be a lot harsher on a body than one’s regular day-to-day default activities. All that stuff that the media (at least at this point) are saying is Bad for you? Those are generally the things that keep one motoring around for the week. Caloric intake is what can keep a person alive and moving in a forward motion, so this really isn’t the time to be restricting oneself, so long as one isn’t merely gorging on corn chips and fruit punch.

o Lack of vitamins/minerals – This is one that we can readily forget to monitor even in the default world, but it can easily become an Issue on the playa. The best bet is to invest in a bottle of supplemental tablets or some nutritional supplement drinks, and take one a day, to coin a phrase.

Your health is your own, to tend or destroy as you see fit. It just seems like foolishness to fall prey to avoidable health issues such as not eating or drinking enough. Everything in moderation, as the wise old dead folk say….

13 FOODSTUFFS

There are certain levels of playa-friendliness in regards to food. Aside from the obvious necessaries of nutrition and palatability, there’s transportability, storage, preparation, cleanliness, and viability (as in the ability to stay wholesome in the face of extreme environments) that are all on the table, as it were, in figuring out what should be packed in the bags and boxes and coolers. Eggs, for instance, are fragile to transport, relatively messy in the course of preparation, and need refrigeration to preserve over a week’s time. Rice, on the other hand, is easy, quick, dry, and can be carried in one’s pocket for a month, if that’s your idea of a good time.

Remember this?

Small Pack In – Zero Pack Out

This is where it counts the most, in the prep for intended playa comestibles. Here are a few things to consider:

Repackage where you can – If it can be moved from its current bulky or plastic-based packaging into, say, a burnable paper bag, do it. Not sure you’ll remember how to cook your box of mac & cheese? Cut out the instructions and file it in an envelope for future reference. Label bagged foodstuffs and stick them all in a plastic storage tub with a tight- fitting lid to fend off staleness. Even the contents of box-like cardboard packaging can be transplanted, as a week’s worth of, say, breakfast cereal, takes up less space in a paper bag than the original box. No one needs to see the colorful packaging of your Sugar- Frosted Choco-Bombs anyway. Process fresh/raw foods beforehand – Nobody wants to pack out quietly decomposing bits and pieces that could have been left at home in the first place. Bone and trim your meats, peel your veggies, seed your fruits – besides, having your meats and fruits and vegs all pre-cut and in baggies gives them a higher surface-to-mass ratio with which to keep cool in the cooler. And bone-in chicken legs are overrated; boneless chicken thighs are what all the cool kids put on the grill. Pre-cook and reheat – Consider what can be done up at home and then frozen, versus the potential fuss of full-scale cooking on the playa. Is your cooking kung-fu up for making from-scratch chili, or could it be done at home and bagged and frozen and re-heated later? Unless you are fixing sushi or performing teppanyaki for passers-by, folks will be just as impressed by the food without witnessing the entire process.

The Pantry – One should have a separate storage and handling place from one’s cooking area. This is the place to keep your eating things, your prepping things (measuring cups/knives/cutting boards/etc), and your non-cooler items (dry goods/condiments/etc). A nice-sized folding table should suit you (I’ve heard of folks using one of those 4-section aluminum ladders as a table), and for clever shelving, I suggest four or six cardboard file folder boxes from an office supply store – they lay flat for travel, fold into a nice rigid structure, and when stacked sideways and lashed together with packing/duct tape or zip ties or office binder clips, they are almost as good as the cabinets over your stove back home. On your way out, the cardboard boxes are now suitably burnable totes for trash. I’ll let you know what to do with those cardboard lids in the Cleaning section….

14 What Should I Bring?

This represents the smallest cross-section of suggested foods:

Dry Goods – Easiest of all playa foods is the dry food, able to be stored without refrigeration, which breaks down to its own sub-divisions of Ready To Eat, Just Add Water, and Just Add Additional Fluids (milk/eggs/etc). Remember, you have to calculate your cooking water separate from your drinking water, unless you plan on ingesting your used pasta water.

¾ Dry beans/rice/pasta ¾ Cookies/crackers/chips/cold breakfast cereals ¾ Beef/turkey/buffalo/ostrich jerky ¾ Boxed flavored rice/couscous ¾ Dry soup mix/miso/udon/ramen ¾ Boxed mac & cheese/flavored noodles ¾ Dried fruits/nuts/granola/trail mix ¾ Health food bars/granola bars/toaster pastries ¾ Bagels/pita/tortillas/rolls ¾ Noodle bowls/cups/instant oatmeal/freeze-dried meals ¾ Instant pancake mix/biscuit mix/instant mashed potatoes ¾ Powdered milk/sport drinks/tea/coffee/hot chocolate ¾ Dried herbs/spices/shelf-friendly condiments ¾ Fruitcake/hardtack/hard candy ¾ Onions/garlic/potatoes/bell peppers/chili peppers (fundamentally, they don’t need refrigeration, and can be stored in paper or mesh bags in a cool, dry place, but the playa will accelerate their demise)

Canned Goods – Foods in cans, amazingly enough. Part of the canning process generally entails a partial cooking, so the level of food safety is higher than fresh food of the same type. Many folks will eat right out of the can, while others will heat them up, either in a saucepan, a solar cooker, or on a car hood in the sunshine. Second only to dry goods as far as portability, one still has that damn can to contend with after the meal is over – wipe out the interior with a paper towel, cut off the bottom, slide both top and bottom disks inside, and stomp flat for packing out.

¾ Soup/stew/chili ¾ Tuna/chicken/salmon ¾ Deviled ham/corned beef/Spam ¾ Fruits in syrup/fruit cups ¾ Smoked oysters/kipper snack ¾ Aerosol cheese (evil, but useful) ¾ Vegetables in all shapes and sizes ¾ Beans/pork n beans/potted meats

Requires Refrigeration – Foodstuffs that fall into one or both categories of Best When Chilled and Must Be Protected From Spoilage. Fresh and/or raw foods that one wishes to contend with on the playa, as well as condiments and foods previously contained in bottles and jars (glass is not a recommended traveling container), now stored in plastic resealable bags. This also encompasses foodstuffs that are generally found in cardboard containers that, when opened, should be refrigerated (such as rice milk or chicken stock).

¾ Soy/rice milk (real milk can fail fast on the playa) ¾ Salsa/dips ¾ Salad vegetables (lettuce/tomato/etc) 15 ¾ Pre-prepped fruits ¾ Apples/oranges (skins intact) ¾ Hardboiled eggs (shelled and bagged) ¾ Pesto/tapenade/marinara/alfredo sauce ¾ Boxed chicken/beef stock (for making flavored rice instead of using your drinking water) ¾ Peanut/almond butter (heat can make the oil/butter separate) ¾ Cheese (especially individually wrapped “string” cheese) ¾ Pre-grated cheeses (leave the grater at home) ¾ Eggs (inside carton or plastic camping container) ¾ Bacon/ham/smoked salmon ¾ Pouched tuna/smoked fish/packaged kid meals ¾ Pre-cooked pasta (toss in olive oil to stop sticking) ¾ Cold pizza (“supposed” leftovers from Packing Day) ¾ Butter/margarine (two containers-one for cooking, one for serving) ¾ Summer sausages/salami/kielbasa/ bratwurst/lunch meats ¾ Hummus/tahini/falafel/ghee/yoghurt ¾ Condiments (catsup/mayo/mustard/etc) ¾ Cakes/pastries/baked goods/chocolate

One thing you might want to try out – there are some retail butchers who will do up vacuum- packed meats to order, complete with marinades or stuffing. Whole pork loins, tri-tip in sauce, stuffed pork chops, bacon-wrapped filet mignon, fully prepped fish and fowl, barbequed ribs in their own sauce, all popped into heavy plastic and sealed. All that is needed is refrigeration, fire, and a knife.

Frozen-to-Thaw Foods – Generally meaning foods that are frozen for transport, for eventual thawing and possible reheating for consumption. Pre-packaged microwave meals are basically constructed to be reheated via agitation of water molecules, so such techniques as solar ovens or dashboard cooking are kinda like microwaving in slow-motion. When prepping homemade foods for the freezer, lay them flat in individual resealable freezer bags with a piece of wax paper between the layers to prevent sticking together. There are also home vacuum meal sealers on the market which work rather well.

¾ Homemade soups/stews/chili ¾ Pre-prepped raw meats ¾ Microwave (TV) dinners (preferably in all cardboard-no aluminum) ¾ Frozen burritos/taquitos/hors d'oeuvres ¾ Non-carbonated juices/flavored waters ¾ Prepped root vegetables (topped and/or peeled carrots/celery/etc) ¾ Cooked pasta in sauce ¾ Prepped/sliced fruits (apple/pear/melon/bananas/etc) ¾ Frozen potatoes (hash browns/tater tots/curly fries/French fries)

Fresh Foods – Despite tales to the contrary, fresh foods can and do survive out on the playa. They just don’t last as long as they might in more temperate environments. If one is absolutely determined to bring fresh anything to the playa, try this out beforehand: put it on your kitchen counter and count the days it takes to become unpleasant. Chances are it will last less than half that amount of time on the playa. For example, sliced bread is notorious for failing on the playa. There’s also the whole cleanup thing to consider, and fresh foods tend to generate waste material that may need to be carted off the playa. Anything brought in will more than likely need to be eaten within the first couple of days - it can be done, I just advise against it to avoid potential headaches….

A Few Words on MREs – MREs, or Meal Ready to Eat, are basically self-contained survival food packets developed for military use out in the field. They run about 2000 calories a meal, most of which are found in carbs and sugars and fats. While the idea sounds nifty, be warned that MREs are meant to keep a soldier alive and fighting, not to please the palate, or be particularly healthy for that matter. They are notorious for causing constipation, and eating a week’s worth will do a digestive system some mischief, not to mention the potential weight gain from the excess calories.

There are civilian variations on this same theme, which I have not tried – presumably one keeps a couple at hand for nigh-emergency situations (windstorm/stove don’t work/playa camp neighbors hate you), but for the expense, one could just as easily make do with a cold can of beans. But, as always, your mileage may vary.

CLEANING

It is a necessary annoyance, but cleanliness, at least in a culinary way, is one of those things that one should have a mind for, as getting blindsided by food-borne illness on the playa would not be a pleasant thing. There is also that whole Leave No Trace thing to contend with. Suffice to say, even if one subsists wholly on peanut butter and beer, there’s going to be some waste product to dispose of.

A Clean Kitchen Is A Happy Kitchen

Clean As You Go, they say, and Easier Said Than Done, I say, but fundamentally They are right. Horizontal space around the playa kitchen is at a premium, and the less clutter one builds up in the course of a meal the better. When about to cook, take a moment and plan out your activities in your mind – what equipment will be needed, will that equipment need to be cleaned for multiple uses during cooking, where will the separate parts of the finished meal be placed, that sort of thing. Remember, never serve cooked food on a dish that used to hold raw food. And don’t leave the cookware out after cooking, the dry environment can turn that mac & cheese residue into marine-grade sealant in less than half an hour. Water should be for drinking, not cleaning, at least in the best of all possible worlds. As little water should be used in the cleaning of one’s playa kitchen, but one should not be silly about it. A little water will go a long way. To this end, I propose this, something of a conglomerate of various Dish Washing Systems I’ve discovered:

1) Scrape down the dishes – some folks use a bit of cardboard or folded paper, as this can then be tossed in the Burn Bag. Waste foodstuffs are considered Wet Waste, so dispose accordingly (see below). Dump the scraped dishes into an empty basin/bus tub. 2) Using one of those gardening pump spray tanks, spray down a dish to moisten, preferably over the wash tub. Some folks will heat this water in a pan before placing it into the sprayer, others will keep the water in the sprayer and set it out in the sun for a few hours in the afternoon to warm it. Painting the canister black will aid in this as well. 3) Using a damp sponge or scrubby with dishwashing detergent on it, wash dish. Don’t have a scrubby, and the mac & cheese residue is being belligerent? Use a wadded-up piece of aluminum foil. Rinse well with the sprayer. Remember, dishwashing detergent can make one a little ill when ingested, not to mention making that slice of tri-tip taste a little funny. 4) Place damp dish into a plastic mesh bag to air dry. Why not a dish rack? Racks take up horizontal space, and you can wad up a mesh bag and store it in a small space. Why not dry them and put them away? ‘Cause I got better things to do…. 5) Repeat until dishes are done. Remember the knives and cutting boards. If an item needs to “soak”, wet a paper towel in the greywater and lay it against the offending residue – this will dry out quickly, so you will still have to wash the dish within a few minutes. 6) Take a length of cheesecloth, double it over, and strain the water in the wash tub into another vessel. The cheesecloth can be reused for this task until it becomes offensive to your sensibilities. This is where the aforementioned cardboard lids can be used: make a frame around the greywater vessel with the four lids and suspend the cheesecloth over it – or even cut a large hole in the center of a lid and stretch the cheesecloth over the hole – clamp the parts together with large office binder clips. Dispose of the greywater (procedure forthcoming), and at the end of the playa time, dispose of the cardboard lids and soiled cheesecloth in a firepit.

18 There are those who would suggest taking the greywater and adding a capful of bleach to disinfect it for further non-potable uses, but I somewhat shirk at this. Aside from washing the body (and I advise against using greywater as a body-washing medium), there’s little use for water recycled from dishwashing, even for more dishwashing. Best to treat the water with a bit of bleach and use the Greywater Disposal Methods, and use fresh water for all cleaning. There may be those who would feel uncomfortable with this particular procedure as to the cleanliness of the dishes, after all, there’s no buckets of hot soapy water involved. Fundamentally, this is true, but aside from any anti-bacterial properties of the dishwashing detergent used, the playa is kinda harsh on the kinds of things that would grow in unclean items. Moisture is needed for microbial growth, and the playa likes to rob everything of moisture. The relative level of sanitation is better than, say, the dining area of your average fast food burger joint, but if sanitation is still high on your list, one can augment the process with a second sprayer of water with a capful of bleach added. Spray with bleach water after scrubbing, and then rinse with the second sprayer. It will be more greywater to dispose of, but it’ll be all the cleaner.

Burn baby burn!

Yes, fire is your friend for disposing of a great many problems, but let’s first take this on a slightly different angle. Say you didn’t pre-prep your foodstuffs at home, but just loaded all sorts of stuff into boxes and tossed them into the back of the car. Okay, now here’s some ways of making the load home a bit lighter.

Dry Waste – This is the best part, all the wood-based or dried organic goods go into the cardboard box, and into the fire it goes! Yay! Remember, if it has any moisture there may be the potential of decay, which means smell. Make sure it’s dry, or put it into the Wet Waste Bag beforehand.

Wet Waste – Peels and seeds and rinds and coffee grounds and tea bags and greywater scum caught in cheesecloth, all have to be dried out. And the very best way of not allowing stuff to dry is to put it into a plastic bag: plastic traps moisture, and moisture is where rot begins, and rot is where stench comes from. Burlap bags, the kind that coffee beans are sometimes found in, are indispensable for this, as the cloth breathes and wicks away moisture, and it burns real pretty. If burlap is unavailable, a few pillow cases from a thrift store or a large bag fashioned from several yards of cheesecloth will work as well. Hang the wet bag somewhere off to the side of camp, where the sun will hit it for most of the day. Just make sure that your Wet Waste is actually Slightly Damp or Kinda Moist, as Soaking Wet will drip on the playa and possibly smell. One way of speeding up the process is to spread some kosher salt on each layer of waste as it is placed in the bag: salt draws out moisture quickly, and it costs about three bucks a pound. And you can salt your food with it as well.

Going-Home Waste – If you are lucky, and plan well, your Going-Home Waste should be minimal. Metal cans, bones, plastic bottles, synthetic clothing, used diapers, rubber novelty items, that sort of thing, all that can’t be burned must be carted off. Crush each item as well as possible, and store in plastic bins with tight-fitting lids, or plastic contractor trash bags, which are a larger and more durable construction-site-grade trash bag. Remember: moisture plus organic material plus enclosed (plastic) containment equals rotting. Treat your damp Going- Home Waste like Wet Waste (burlap bag and salt in sun), and bag it on your last day, and smelly biological processes should be dramatically decreased.

Greywater – Water is a waste product if it can’t be used as drinking or washing water, and no one wants to drag half a dozen gallons of undrinkable water off the playa. So the conventional wisdom is to let the sun do the work. A large sheet of black plastic, weighed down on all edges, set off to the side of one’s camp, is where one evaporates one’s greywater. Spread thinly, the evaporation of the prior day’s greywater should be finished by sundown. To keep the evaporation load down, one should keep the greywater from pooling on the sheet. At the end of the week, toss a few handfuls of playa on the last bit of moisture to dry it out, roll the sheet up, and stash for transport just like Going-Home Waste. Some enterprising folks have devised various forms of evaporation rigs, some rather nifty in a generator/pump/hose fountain kinda way. Make a search of the Internet for such devices.

Leave No Trace is Serious Business. Everything that doesn’t look like playa needs to be removed and disposed of in a proper place. The Bureau of Land Management takes great pains to check on the health and welfare of the Black Rock Desert, and even something as seemingly innocent as watermelon seeds can be viewed as Litter in a Federally Protected Landscape.

Recipes

Cooking, from Apicius to Fanny Farmer to Julia Child, is based on Knowledge Handed Down. History has shown us that once the various revolutions drove the various royal heads of state out into the wilderness, their court cooks were left to their own devices, many deciding to cook for the unwashed masses in hotels and pubs and the newly-invented-idea-of restaurants. Methods of preparing foods were handed down from master to apprentice, not unlike from mother to daughter at the home hearth, and very little was written down with great accuracy, mostly because there wasn’t a need. Anyone who had any business cooking already knew what was going on in any given half-assed recipe. Measurements were relegated to taste and appearance and touch and smell and sound. Modern times dictate otherwise, in the need for information, and at least a process with which to follow. Enter the recipe, a way of Handing Down Knowledge, or at least Procedure. For the longest time, I was a relative slave to Procedure, never deviating from the measurements indicated, until I realized that, unlike baking, where Hard Science dictated success or failure, everyday cooking can and should be tinkered with. Tinkering is another form of Art. These recipes are offered in much the same way the list for the playa kitchen was presented – a place to start. Try it out before the playa, by all means, and tinker with the bits and pieces. For measurements, tsp stands for teaspoon, Tbs stands for tablespoon, B.P. stands for Before Playa, and O.P. stands for On Playa. A Note On Cooling – Anything that is to be pre-cooked and then frozen will have to be cooled down before bagging and freezing. Meat and protein-based foodstuffs especially are susceptible to microbial growth during a given cooling period. The trick is to get the temperature down from Hot Food to Room Temp as quickly as possible. The best way is to set a folded dish towel at the bottom of your sink, and fill it with a few inches of water and a few tablespoons of salt. Take the pot of chow and set it on the towel in the water, and then add enough ice to pile up around the sides of the pot. Uncover and stir the foodstuff, and add ice as needed, until it cools down to about room temperature. Then dispense into containers and freeze.

Meats and other Proteins

Once fire was recognized, man’s instinct for self-improvement led him to subject meat to it….

BEEF It could be argued that beef is the all-purpose foodstuff when equipped with fire. By and large, steaks, ribs, tri-tip, ground beef, chunks of beast can all be prepped Before Playa and frozen. There are also many butchers (usually the kind found under B in the phone book, as opposed to at the back of the mega-mart) who will prep and vacuum-seal your cuts in their own marinade, so all that is needed is fire and a knife. Beef can also make a nice sauce for pre-made pasta…. BEEF SAUCE Olive oil 2 pounds of lean ground beef 2 onions, chopped 3 cloves of garlic, minced 2 tsp dried thyme 2 tsp dried oregano 1 28oz can seeded/skinless/chopped tomatoes, drained 3 Tbs tomato paste 1 1/4 cup dry red wine 4 cups beef stock 21

B.P. - In a large saucepan, brown meat in a little olive oil. Take out meat and add a little more oil and onions, cooking until translucent, about 5 minutes. Add the garlic, oregano, and thyme and stir for another 2 minutes. Add the tomatoes, tomato paste, wine, and salt, and reduce heat to medium. Simmer for 3 minutes, and then add the stock and the meat. Simmer for 15 minutes. Remove from heat. Bag and freeze. O.P. – Boil a pot of water. Place frozen bag of sauce in water and thaw/reheat until hot and pourable, about 10 minutes. Serve on pasta.

CHILI CON CARNE

Most of the chili that ends up in my bowl is beef-based, but this also works with chicken or vegan “meat”balls. Make sure you cool the pot of chow down quickly and portion out for the freezer within a reasonable span of time, as neglected pots of foodstuffs can encourage the growth of food-borne illnesses.

1 pound stew beef OR 1 pound chicken breast/thigh meat OR 1 pound meatless meatballs 3 Tbs olive oil 1/2 yellow onion, chopped 1 green bell pepper, seeded, ribbed and chopped 2 Anaheim chilis, seeded, ribbed and chopped 2 habanjero chilis, seeded, ribbed and chopped 2 serrano chilis, seeded, ribbed and chopped 24 oz canned red kidney beans, drained and rinsed 4 cloves of garlic, minced 12 oz canned chopped skinless tomatoes, drained 1 bottle dark beer for beef – 1 cup dry white wine for chicken 1 Tbs cumin 1 Tbs chili powder 2 tsp garlic powder 1 tsp Tabasco sauce Salt and Pepper to taste

B.P. – Everything should be cut down to the size of a thumbnail: cut gristle from beef, bones and skin from chicken, meatballs into quarters. Heat olive oil in a large pot and brown meat. Add onion and a bit of salt and cook until translucent. Add everything except for beans and cover and cook for 30 minutes, stirring occasionally. Add beans and cook for another 15 minutes. Taste for spice and add as you wish. Cool, bag and freeze. O.P. – Thaw in cooler. Reheat well in a saucepan. Serve.

22 TRI-TIP IN SAUCE

Tri-tip beef has a special place in the heart of many a playa diner, nearly as important as bacon. Some take it straight off the grill, some marinate beforehand, and here is a third choice:

1/2 cup catsup 1 Tbs Worcestershire sauce 2 tsp molasses 1 tsp soy sauce 1/2 tsp garlic powder 1/4 tsp liquid hickory smoke 2 Tbs water

B.P./O.P. – Combine in saucepan and bring to a simmer. Serve on roasted meat, or cool and bag and freeze for future use.

CHICKEN

Aside from actually bursting into flame on the grill due to neglect, chicken is relatively solid and reliable on the playa, especially when it’s been prepped beforehand, to the point where one just thaws and tosses it onto the grill. Remember, bones will have to be carted off the playa, so stick with boneless cuts. A little Old Bay seasoning or a healthy sprinkle of paprika and garlic powder can go a long way in flavoring a simple chunk of cluck.

HONEY-MUSTARD CHICKEN

5 chicken breasts 5 chicken thighs 1/2 cup Dijon mustard 1/4 cup honey 2 Tbs olive oil 2 Tbs lemon juice 2 tsp curry powder 1/2 tsp garlic powder 1/2 tsp salt 1/4 tsp black pepper

B.P. – Combine all ingredients and pour into large ziptop bag or glass bowl. Add chicken and coat well with mix. Place in refrigerator for 4-6 hours, turning chicken over once at 2 hours for even coating. Take chicken out after 4 hours and lightly brush off excess mix. Discard mix. Place in clean freezer bag and freeze. For the glaze: combine 1/2 cup Dijon mustard, 1/4 cup honey, 2 Tbs olive oil. Place in separate container and freeze or store cold, or make On Playa. O.P. – Thaw chicken and glaze in cool space. Grill one side for about 3 minutes, flip, and coat side with glaze. Grill for another 3 minutes, flip, and coat second side with glaze. Repeat for another set of turns. Serve.

23 DOUBLE MUSTARD CHICKEN

6 chicken breasts or 8 chicken thighs 3 cloves garlic, minced 1/4 cup brown sugar 1/3 cup apple cider vinegar 1/4 cup Dijon mustard 1/4 cup honey mustard 3 tsp dry thyme

B.P. - Combine garlic, sugar, vinegar, thyme in glass dish. Microwave for 2 minutes, stir, microwave 1 more minute. Set aside for 5 minutes. Add mustards and whisk to combine. Add chicken breasts or thighs, turn to coat. Refrigerate for 1 hour, turning chicken over at the half- hour. Remove from marinade (leave a little marinade on the chicken for glazing on the grill), bag and freeze. O.P. – Set chicken in cooler to thaw. Grill on barbeque 2-3 minutes to a side until done, or fry in butter in frypan until done. Serve.

BEER AND MUSTARD CHICKEN

4 chicken breasts or 6 chicken thighs 1 bottle dark beer 1/4 cup Dijon mustard 3 Tbs olive oil 4 cloves of shallot, minced 4 cloves of garlic, minced 1 Tbs Worchester sauce 1 tsp salt 1/2 tsp black pepper 1/4 tsp Tabasco sauce

B.P. – Combine all ingredients in saucepan and heat for 3 minutes, stirring occasionally. Cool mix to room temperature and then pour into large ziplock bag or glass bowl. Add chicken and coat well with mix. Refrigerate for 8 hours, turning once at 4 hours for even coating. Take chicken out after 8 hours and lightly brush off excess mix. Discard mix. Place in clean freezer bag and freeze. O.P. – Thaw chicken in cool space. Grill on medium heat for 10 minutes, 5 minutes a side. Serve.

PORK

I’ve seen wondrous things done with bacon on the playa. Bacon, in many circles, is considered a major food group on the playa, and who am I to disagree. I’ve also seen whole pigs cooked on the playa, on a spit over a steel bin of coals. Pork can be very welcome on the playa. Save that bacon fat! Pour it off into a clean can, and it will solidify for future use or disposal. Try using a little in the pan when cooking pancakes or eggs, but remember it can be rather salty, so use sparingly.

24 PORK CHOPS IN PAN SAUCE

Four 1 1/2” center cut pork chops 6 cups water 1/2 cup kosher salt 2 cups hard apple cider 1/2 cup maple syrup

B.P. – Combine water and salt in saucepan over high heat. Stir until salt is dissolved, then add rest of ingredients, bring to simmer. Take mix off heat and let cool to room temp. Put meat into large ziptop bag or large bowl and pour in mix, turning meat to coat. Refrigerate 6-8 hours, turning meat once halfway through time for even coating. Take meat out after elapsed time and wipe away excess mix. Discard mix. Place in clean freezer bag and freeze. O.P. – Thaw meat in cool area. Heat a little olive oil in a large skillet on gas burner. Sear each chop at high heat, 1-2 minutes a side, until brown. Remove from pan and cover in foil. Then, make the sauce. Sauce: 1/2 cup shallots, chopped 1/2 cup chicken broth 1/4 cup bourbon 1 Tbs maple syrup 1 tsp cornstarch slurried in 2 Tbs chicken stock

Sauté shallots in fat and oil, adding oil if too dry. Add stock/bourbon/syrup and deglaze pan. Replace chops and cover for 5-7 minutes. Uncover and test meat for doneness, cook for another 2-3 minutes if underdone. Remove meat and cover in foil. Add cornstarch slurry and cook until thickened. Serve chops and sauce.

PORK CHOP GLAZE

2 tsp maple syrup 2 tsp Dijon mustard 1 tsp steak sauce

4 boneless chops, 1” cut

O.P. – Mix syrup/mustard/steak sauce. Oil, salt/pepper, and then glaze the chops – grill 10-12 minutes, 5-6 min a side.

BACON HASH

6 slices of bacon, chopped 1 onion, chopped 2 cloves of garlic, minced 1 green bell pepper, seeded and chopped 1 red bell pepper, seeded and chopped 6 potatoes, peeled and chopped Salt and pepper

O.P. – Cook bacon until crisp. Remove bacon and pour out all but a couple tablespoons of bacon fat. Sauté onions, garlic and bell peppers for a couple of minutes, until soft. Add potatoes and fry until crispy, a little olive oil or more bacon fat if too dry. Add bacon and season.

25 ANGELS ON HORSEBACK

I don’t remember where I dug this one up from – I bet it was one of the M.F.K. Fisher books I got lying around….

1 tin of smoked oysters Several strips (rashers) of bacon A few pre-soaked wooden or metal skewers

O.P. – Wrap a length of bacon around an oyster and slide onto a skewer, leaving a little space between bites. Grill or fry 2 minutes a side or until bacon is hot and at a desired doneness. Serve. Please note: bacon fat dropping on hot coals or gas flame can cause flareups, so mind your fire.

HANGTOWN FRY

This is a legendary dish, invented during the California Gold Rush by an apocryphal ‘49er who struck it rich, and walked into the saloon of the El Dorado Hotel in the boomtown of Hangtown (now present-day Placerville) and demanded a celebratory dish consisting of the most expensive ingredients available, which, at the time, were eggs, bacon, and oysters. There are a few versions of the dish. This is my version.

3-4 strips of bacon, chopped 1 3oz tin of smoked oysters 2-3 eggs 1 egg beaten in 2 Tbs milk Flour OR a few crushed saltine crackers Salt and pepper

O.P. – Dry oysters of any can liquid, dip in egg/milk mixture, and dredge in flour or crumbs. Set aside for the moment. Cook bacon in frying pan until crispy. Remove bacon. Fry oysters in bacon fat, adding butter or oil if too dry, until golden brown. Add bacon and spread meat evenly around pan. Pour lightly beaten eggs over meat. Cook until lightly set, and fold one side over, as in an omelet. Salt and pepper to taste. Top with minced parsley and grated parmesan cheese if some is available.

LAMB

Lamb tends to be forgotten in the triumvirate of Beef/Chicken/Pork, but this is another meat that goes well on the grill, either as chops or as a nice medium-rare roast. One can also get a few chops and either cube the meat for grilling on skewers, or cut in short thin strips for a nice stir fry with hardy vegetables. Pop the hot meat in a pita, and add a nice sauce, like this:

LAMB SAUCE

3/4 cup plain yogurt 2 Tbs minced shallots 1 Tbs minced dill 1 Tbs minced mint (just the leaves) 1 Tbs lime juice 1 Tbs extra virgin olive oil

B.P./O.P. – Mix everything in a bowl. Chill for a few hours. Serve on lamb.

LAMB IN COUSCOUS

2-3 lamb chops 1 cup sliced brown mushrooms 1 cup sliced shitake mushrooms 1 stick of butter 1 box mushroom-flavored couscous

B.P. – Cut up the lamb chops into bite-sized pieces, keeping the fat but disposing of the bone and connective gristle. Bag and freeze. The whole mushrooms can be put in a paper bag for transport, a little dehydration won’t hurt them for this dish. O.P. – Thaw out meat. In a pot, melt a couple of tablespoons of butter and brown the meat a bit, about four to six minutes. Remove meat, but leave butter/grease in pot. Add more butter and sauté mushrooms a handful at a time until softened, adding butter as needed. Add couscous and meat, and prepare couscous as directed on packaging, adding a 1/4 cup of water more for the extra mass. Serve when done.

Foods That Aren’t Meat

SOUP

Anybody can open a can of soup and dump it in a saucepan. If you’re looking to impress folks as you feed them, homemade soup is the way to go. Make them at home, and then chill them down quickly by carefully pouring the finished soup into another pot sitting in a sink full of water, salt, and ice. Stir every few minutes until the soup reaches a temp around 60 degrees, then portion out into ziplock freezer bags. Stack flat in freezer with a sheet of paper between each bag to prevent sticking. GAZPACHO Spanish for “soaked bread”, as the traditional dish uses a few cubed slices of stale bread as a thickener, this is to be served cold, or as cold as something can get it on the playa. This is a great way to get your veggies, and also a good thing to experiment with. soup base 3 cloves garlic 3 plum tomatoes, skinned and seeded 1 large cucumber, skinned and seeded 1 12oz can of tomato juice 1 Tbs extra virgin olive oil 2 tsp sherry vinegar 2 tsp lemon juice 2 tsp Spanish paprika 1 Tbs Tabasco Salt/pepper to taste chunkies 1 red bell pepper, stemmed/seeded/chopped 1 yellow bell pepper, stemmed/seeded/chopped 2 cloves shallots, chopped 1 stalk celery, chopped 1 cucumber, skinned/seeded/chopped 1 green onion, chopped 1/4 cup parsley, chopped 1 1/2 cup herb croutons 27

B.P. – Combine everything under Base in blender or food processor. Process until smooth. Add everything under Chunkies, and pulse in machine a couple of times to mix. Pour into freezer bags and freeze. O.P. – Thaw in cooler. Serve cold with more herb croutons on top, or a bit of grated parmesan cheese or sliced hardboiled egg, if you have it at hand.

MINESTRONE

4 Tbs olive oil 1 onion, diced 3 cloves of garlic, minced 2 stalks of celery, chopped 2 carrots, peeled and diced 1 cup cooked ham, cubed 1 cup sweet Italian sausage, browned/drained/crumbled 3 Tbs crisp cooked pancetta, minced 6 cups chicken stock 1 parmesan rind 1 cup dry white wine 1/4 cup Italian parsley, chopped 3 cups canned tomatoes, peeled/seeded/diced/drained 2 Tbs dried oregano 2 Tbs dried thyme 1 cup uncooked small pasta shells 2 bay leaves 1 cup grated parmesan cheese 1/2 cup marinara sauce (or spaghetti sauce)

B.P. – In a large pot, heat olive oil and sauté onions until translucent. Add garlic and sauté for another minute. Add everything in order of ingredient list except for grated cheese and sauce. Bring to a light boil, then reduce to a simmer and cover. Cook for 20-30 minutes or until pasta and vegetables are soft. Pull the rind and bay leaves out. Stir in cheese and sauce and cook another 3 minutes. Take off heat and cool for freezing. O.P. – Thaw in cooler. Reheat in saucepan. Serve.

28 PASTA

Pre-cook your pasta and portion it out in meal-sized ziplock bags, and you’ll have dinner half- finished. Tossed with a tablespoon or two of olive oil to keep it from sticking, and kept in the cooler, all one needs is a proper sauce (or not) to serve.

PUTTANESCA SAUCE

The supposed origin of this sauce is rather rude – let’s just say the gals from Nights of Cabiria would probably be eating this regularly.

2 Tbs XV olive oil 1/2 cup diced red onion 1/4 cup minced shallots 1 tsp minced garlic 1 tsp minced anchovy in oil (or anchovy paste) 1 cup chopped tomatoes, seeded/peeled 2 tsp balsamic vinegar 1/4 tsp red pepper flakes 1/4 cup red wine 2 Tbs chopped olives (black or kalamata) 2 tsp chopped fresh thyme (or dry) 2 Tbs capers

B.P. – In a saucepan, heat the olive oil and sweat the onion until translucent. Add garlic and shallots, sauté another 2-3 minutes. Add anchovy and sauté for another minute. Add tomatoes and stir until they are heated. Add the rest of the ingredients and cook another 5 minutes. Set aside to cool. Bag in heavy ziplock freezer bags and freeze. O.P. – Thaw in cooler. Reheat in saucepan. Serve over pasta, or as a hot dip with breadsticks. This can also be put together on the playa, if one wishes to impress the neighbors.

BEANS

As Tom Waits once sang, there’s nothing like a campfire and a can of beans. Of course, to tweak those beans a bit makes for a Better Nothing. Or Something.

TWEAKED BEANS

1 28oz can of pork & beans 1 cup brown sugar 1/2 cup catsup 1/4 cup yellow mustard (or Dijon if you’re daring) 2 tsp Worcestershire sauce 1/2 cup minced onion 1/4 cup dark beer 1 cup grated Cheddar cheese 1/2 cup cooked bacon or sausage, chopped/crumbled

B.P./O.P. – In a saucepan, add everything except cheese, beer, and meat. Heat for a few minutes, stirring often. Add beer and stir a minute more. Add cheese and stir until melted. Add meat and stir a couple minutes more. Serve.

29 AMUSE-BOUCHE

Something the French call “mouth-pleasers”, in the culinary world it mostly means cleverly constructed bites of food, slightly less filling than hors d’oeuvres. On the playa, I arbitrarily decided this means cleverness with available foodstuffs.

• Cold crispy cooked bacon and canned tuna, eaten in a chip-and-dip fashion. • Make up some sun tea at home and freeze it in ice trays – bag it and use it in the cooler – pop a few into a cup on the playa, let the sun thaw them out, and pop in a few more for powerful iced tea – good for bottled sports drinks as well. • Boil-in-a-bag omelets - Three or four eggs stirred in a heavy-duty resealable bag, along with a few pieces of pre-cooked bacon or ham, a handful of seasoned croutons, a bit of chopped bell pepper or onion, and a few sliced olives – place in a pot of boiling water that has a folded cloth at the bottom (to prevent plastic melting on the metal pot), and cook 4-5 minutes or until set. The bag will have to be sacrificed with a knife. • Cold crispy cooked bacon dipped in melted milk chocolate. • Welsh Rarebit is fun to make for unsuspecting snackers, a little like a reverse fondue: 3 Tbs butter 3 Tbs flour 2/3 cup dark beer 1 1/2 cup grated cheddar cheese 1/2 cup grated smoked Gouda 2 tsp Dijon mustard 1 tsp Worcestershire sauce Couple of dashes of Tabasco sauce Combine butter and flour in saucepan and whisk over high heat for 3 minutes. Add beer and bring to a boil while stirring. Turn heat down to low and add cheese a handful at a time, whisking each handful until melted. Add mustard and sauces, salt and pepper if desired. Stir until smooth – a little milk can be added to thin for pouring. Serve over toasted bread or muffin. A good way to use up stale bread. • Scrambled eggs are better with a couple of tablespoons of milk, and a good handful of seasoned croutons stirred in. And crumbled bacon. • Cream cheese and salsa mixed together and eaten with corn chips. • Learn to make your own tortillas – masa/corn meal and water and a hot cast iron skillet. And butter. • Pre-packaged hash brown disks cooked in bacon fat. Tater tots cooked in bacon fat. Salad croutons coated in hot bacon fat and stirred into scrambled eggs.

During the reign of Louis XIV, writers were drunkards; they were but following the fashion, and the memoirs of that period are very edifying on the subject. Today, writers are gourmands, which is a great improvement.

I’m hoping to make this a constantly evolving project, with both my own experiences, and those of others. Impressed your neighbors with your cooking skills? A recipe didn’t work for you? Got a better idea of how to dispose of kitchen waste? If you have Ideas, Tricks, Recipes, Comments, or Belligerent Rants that you think may be of use to me or Playa Cookery, send your email to [email protected]. I respond to each and every email, all by me onesies….